#like I don’t really want to rewatch the show at this point but if it all goes down the gutter in the end ? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hanniluvi · 7 months

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LIPSTICK TREND WITH ENHYPEN !

💄 — the tiktok lipstick trend with enhypen

PAIRING bf!enhypen x gn!reader

GENRE fluff, established relationship

WARNINGS kisses obviously, ummm nothing else possibly??

( ‘💌’ ) note : tysm anon for requesting !! i was planning to write this so i’m glad i got this ask <3 so i hope you enjoy 🤍

💋 — HEESEUNG

— this guy will probably laughing his nervousness off ngl LMAOOO 😭 but then he realizes, he's been dating you for a while so why should he be nervous for ??

— he's probably going to be super flirty as you're kissing him ... like giving you a gaze that's gonna make you nervous 😵‍💫

— but then after all that he gets shy as you continue to kiss his face LMAO . like let’s talk about the duality 😪😪😪

— "you love kissing me that much?" LIKE IF U DONT SHUT UP RIGHT NOWWW .

— he would shower you with compliments as you're doing the trend yk 🤗 like his man cannot make you start recording bc he’s giving you literal BUTTERFLIES .

— goes back to the tiktok you both made just to rewatch the vid about five times before looking at some comments 😊 but he forgets honestly and just ends up watching ur tiktoks cause ure so 🫣🫣🤗🤗🤭🤭😍😍🥰🥰😘😘 u get it LMAO

💋 — JAY

— when you show him a tiktok of someone doing the trend, he's chill about it at first.

— "you wanna try this?" "yep!" "okay then."

— he tries to act calm but he's actually not 😊 like he looks "okay" on the outside but he's panicking in the inside

— like you only figure out how he's actually feeling because of his red face or the heat of his face when you kiss him

— probably tells you which lipstick to pick out and probably even offers to apply on for you. like he gives a bunch of compliments so you’re the one who turns up red next

— looks at you with such LOVING eyes like he can't keep his eyes off you as your planting kisses all over his face...im giggling like why are you still maintaining eye contact

— even when recording, hes gonna look at you lovingly that people comment under your tiktok wishing for a man like that ... but yeah hes all yours 😊 (im feeding into ur deluluness and mines)

💋 — JAKE

— he's both shy and excited when you bring up wanting to do this trend. like this guy cannot stand still BUT ITS CUTE like just imagine him waiting excitedly as you go to get your lipstick 😪

— he's looking at you with such adoration as you're putting on the lipstick :(

— your kisses on his face is ticklish for him despite how often you kiss him on his cheeks 😭 he's just probably nervous but lets not talk about that

— you might have to tell him to stop moving though CAUSE ITS SMUDGING THE KISSES ON HIS FACE 😭 like he’s not even doing it on purpose, he just can’t do it

— like it smudges so bad you have to reapply it on his face (basically redo) but who said you both were complaining about that ?

— so at one point he just closes his eyes and let you do his thing bc if he looks at you, hes gonna move 😭

— everyone would be commenting on how cute your bf is </3 and he would def be reading through the comments, giggling and showing them to you i love jake

💋 — SUNGHOON

— showing him the tiktok trend, this guy will just be SOOO quiet like he can’t process it really … like is he really going to be doing this trend with you ??$ sounds like a dream come true to him

— you might have to poke him to start speaking cause he’s just letting the video replay and just staring at it LMAO its funny to imagine but its so hoon

— “hey…hey!” “huh?” “are we going to do the trend?” “oh uh, sure”

— he may not seem to be excited but trust me, he is. he’s just nervous for no reason … he’s letting you doing your thing and is giving such a wide smile :( LIKE JUST IMAGINE IT ugh his smile is actually perfect.

— i think he would be ticklish too ngl … like he thinks about it too much so he kinda gets ticklish as you’re planting kisses on his face … as if you don’t give him pecks on his cheeks daily

— would get so immerse at looking at you that he forgets about the tiktok … you probably would scold him bc of the amount of times you have to recreate the video .. but he just finds you pretty okay let him be 😢

— gets shy when he sees the comments under your video like he turns RED okay… and he giggles at them LORD it would be really cute seeing him like that 🙁

💋 — SUNOO

— you and sunoo are so down to do any kind of tiktok trend! whenever you both have any time together, you guys would attempt any trend you see on the fyp LMAO

— so he’s super down for anything!!! it doesn’t take that much convincing for him because he would automatically say yes.

— matter fact, sunoo might find the trend sooner than you do. we know how updated he is with trends, i mean, have we seen his tiktoks?? so yes, he would show you the trend first.

— he would be really excited!! like imagine that wide smile and him being like “isn’t this such a good idea?” with that voice tone IF YKYK.

— once you agree it doesn’t take much for you to agree either, he’s already rushing into the room to get a lipstick for you LMAO he’s just so excited to do anything for you really.

— you both would probably create multiple drafts, not because you guys mess up or anything. you guys could do it perfectly on the first try, but you both wanted to create more to keep in drafts for only both of your eyes :( <3

— he would probably help you pick out which one to post, and he picks out the best one im telling you. and the tiktok would be such a hit like sunoo has an eye for this okay 🙏 LMAOO

💋 — JUNGWON

— still living the shy jungwon type LET ME LIVE

— like u can’t tell me he wouldn’t be super red as you bring up the tiktok idea AND IMAGINING HIS SMILE TOO im dead.

— he would say it would be great and would anxiously wait as you get everything.

— he’d smile so hard that you would end up kissing his dimples as well HAISNS

— he would like hold his breath as you leave pecks on him. like you get closer, inhale. LIKE its so funny to you because its sooo noticeable that he is holding his breath 😭 so you just laugh at him instead of pointing it out.

— but he would REALLY enjoy it and would get sad once you finish kissing all over his face….he may or may not try to mess up the tiktok multiple times….

— once you both decide on the perfect video, he WILL blush when he watches it on his own time.

— he’s just the sweetest . how many times have i said that on any jwon related work

💋 — NIKI

— this guy was WAITING for this day to come and let me explain

— usually niki would find trends for you both to do first, so you really never looked for any. so obviously, niki found this trend way before you did! but this trend…he couldn’t bring it up to you THAT EASILY. why??

— 1) you two always do the silly kind of trends 2) he would be shy 3) and you would tease the hell out of him.

— so what does he do?? MAKE IT SUPER OBV 😭 . like he would attempt to have the trend playing on his phone, throw it closer to you, and just walks away HOPING you would see it. HES SO SILLY BUT ITS CUTE

— after you not noticing his attempts, he just gives up thinking he would never ever do this trend in his lifetime and would die thinking about this hes so dramatic UNTIL a miracle happened…you brought up the trend idea 😱

— this guy cannot contain himself like he would say yes immediately and not even tease you by saying no at first.

— he’s in his little own happy world as you kiss him LIKE u think its so sweet when he acts like this </3 !!!

— “we should do more trends like these,” he would say after you both finish filming and you agreed. and once you did…niki finally brings up another trend to do — something that isn’t so silly this time 😊

ENHA PERM TAGLIST 1 — @flwoie @ixomiyu @haruavrse @shinsou-rii @bearseulgs @ilovewonyo @yenqa @dimplewonie @bubblytaetae @wtfhyuck @ineedaherosavemeenow @ml8dy @starikizs @wonioml @chirokookie @xiaoderrrr @neozon3nha @en-chantedtomeetyou @millksea @enhaz1 @eundiarys @dioroits @ja4hyvn @judeduartewannabe @j-wyoung @thia-aep @vampcharxter @softpia @officiallyjaehyuns @itsactuallylina @hsheart @sweetjaemss @ahnneyong @hanienie @jwnghyuns @kpoplover718 @jiawji @rikizm @haknom @yeokii @wvnkoi @whoschr @teddywonss @shinunoga-iie-wa @flwrshee @skzenhalove @misokei @s00buwu @ox1-lovesick @miercerise @litttlestars @enhapocketz

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musicalslugs · 5 months

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Grace and the Lords in Black: an analysis.

Okay, so, this may be obvious; although I haven’t seen anyone mention this as of yet. The link between Grace Chastity and the Lords in Black is clear, I mean we’ve all agreed that she seems to be like that, and Dirty Dudes must Die highlights her “corruption” plainly.

That being said! I think there may be more.

Firstly, the Lords in Black mention/talk to Grace first, before Peter and Stephanie (the arguable proper protagonists of this story).

Sure, Blinky’s motif is obvious, it’s of eyes, of watching and of observation. But to speak to Grace first, even if it seems (on the surface level) that it’s just to flex their omniscience and make her uncomfortable, is a little strange. Especially since they then speak mostly (only) to Steph for the rest of the song [The Summoning].

Secondly, because if that were all this wouldn’t be a very good analysis, we have her (Grace) and Nibbly being echoes of eachother.

“Swallow” and “devour” are synonymous. Both fit into Nibbly’s motif of consumption. Now, Grace could’ve said anything. Absorb, harness, control etc. I think the wording here is particular. Not exactly the same, but clearly within the same ball park.

What is exactly the same though, is Grace Chastity and Wiggly.

This may seem a bit out of left field at first, but hear me out.

In The Summoning, it is said that “Wiggly wants his Wrath”, Wrath is a vice, a sin. It may not be the exact opposite of Chastity, however Chastity is to do with restraint, whereas Wrath is very much, not so. Moreover, Wrath can be defined as ‘a great anger that expresses itself in a desire to punish someone’. Now… who else could be described as wrathful? Obviously Max. And Grace. I mean, her song is called Dirty Dudes must Die. As well as being a direct reflection of Max, it implies that she wants to harm someone. Punish someone though? Well, yes. Grace says “This is the consequence of what you’ve done!” - she must believe that death is a worthy punishment for their actions (being ‘pervs’). Thus, Wrath.

Lastly, and this is where the exactly comes in, Grace and Wiggly both say the same things. (Again, of course, I could write another analysis on how Grace and Max reflect each other beautifully by also saying the same/extremely similar things) The difference between Grace saying similar things to Max, is that she and Wiggly aren’t similar. It’s the same.

Example A) Stephy / Stephie.

Upon rewatching Nerdy Prudes Must Die and listening to the album on repeat, I noticed that no one bar these two call Stephanie: Stephie. I know Grace calls Ruth, Ruthy and Peter, Petey- so her calling Stephanie, Stephie, makes sense linguistically. That doesn’t take from the fact that Wiggly is the only other ‘person’ to use that particular moniker.

Example B) “bloody bits”

A particularly strange phrase that these two say. However, not really. The point of this analysis is to point out the links between the Lords in Black and Grace Chastity, specifically Wiggly and Grace. By pointing out the parallels in their idiolects, I have come to the conclusion that they are not only linked but INCREDIBLY similar.

Both are characters that use cutesy, almost childish language (“mommy spot” / “belly-well”) to disguise the violence, the wrath that lays beneath the surface. Wiggly (as shown in Black Friday) uses it as a facade. Throughout Black Friday and throughout The Summoning, he expresses himself as non-threatening (“We’re all pally-wals.” etc) before eventually showing what’s beneath the surface (“..deck the fucking halls!” / “We don’t give a shit about your phone!”). Both times are as abrupt as each other, showing that Wiggly has a fairly short temper. Grace doesn’t necessarily have a short temper, instead she has periods of ‘sin’, when stressed: Dirty Girl, calling “God a son of a B-Word”, smoking (after), having sex with Max, the scene of her ordering hot water etc etc. The visage, her carefully constructed facade, slips. Wether it’s because deep down she doesn’t believe in God (possibly shown in her “are you religious?” conversation with Shapiro), or that due to her upbringing she’s being confined, restrained, controlled, and this is when her ‘true self’ begins to peer through the cracks.

Either way, these are two characters who use similar themes (one of childishness, the other of purity/innocence (which can also be linked to childishness)) to cover their violence, their real selves.

Uhhh- anyway, watch Nerdy Prudes must Die on Youtube- it gave me brain worms.

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ineffableteeth · 2 months

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So I was rewatching Good omens and I realized something.

Season 2 brings up Memory. A lot

Specifically Crowleys memory

In every episode something is said about it and I find this really interesting

I’m only going to bring up what I think are major, I want to note there are more instances than this. This is gonna be messy and a little disorganized since I’m just throwing my words on this post as I think of them and read the episode transcripts but I had to write it out.

In Episode 1 we see pre-fall Crowley and are introduced to our amnesiac archangel. This will be important later

We don’t see much of Crowleys memory loss in this episode but the biggest example I could find was the way Beelzebub had said Extreme Sanctions after Crowley misunderstood

It was as if they were expecting him to remember

In Episode 2 we get the first blatant hint of Crowleys memory loss

When Gabriel said he couldn’t remember, Crowley doesn’t say “Well try anyway”

He says “Yes you can.”

Crowley knew Gabriel could remember, he knew he could make himself remember. As if he knew it from experience.

Also in this episode we get Crowleys “I’m a demon, I lied.” As well as several other instances where he lies in this episode.

I also feel like his “Lonliness” is important to point out, because I feel like that goes much much deeper than “[I’m on] my side”

In Episode 3 we get Crowley and Gabriel’s Conversation about “Gravity”

Crowley knows what gravity is on a base level. But he says “I don’t remember” when asked why gravity exists and proceeds to give a very nondescript explanation

Now for Episode 4. This episode is actually what triggered me to start looking for these instances.

Because of Furfur

Near the end of the episode when Furfur enters the dressing room he mentions that him and Crowley were directly next to eachother during the Great War, as well as the fact Crowley used to jump on his back “Like a little monkey in a waistcoat”

And Crowley didn’t remember

All he remembered was going to war

Why does Furfur — A demon — remember but Crowley doesn’t?

In Episode 5 we get one of the most crucial ‘memory’ scenes imo

The aftermath of Crowley threatening Gabriel

When Gabriel tells Crowley “It hurts to remember, my head isn’t built for that” Crowley replies with “I know, do it anyway”

Again it sounds like Crowley is speaking from experience

The most important quote to me though is when Crowley says “I know, looking at where the furniture isn’t.”

Because after the fact he proceeds to ask Gabriel if he wants a hot chocolate

This wasn’t a sympathetic action. It was Empathetic.

He feels for Gabriel, he knows what it’s like to not know

Finally in Episode 6 we get context.

This is where the whole amnesiac archangel comes into play.

Before I get into that though I want to bring up Crowleys meeting with Saraquael. Because something interesting stood out to me while reading her voicelines. After Crowley asks “Do we know eachother?” Saraquael says “When you were an Angel” and pauses before she says the following voiceline “We worked together on the horsehead nebula”

Those were two different sentences. I’m definitely looking too far into this but to me it sounded like she knew he wouldn’t remember so she gave unnecessary context. This as well as the fact she didn’t respond when Crowley essentially said he didn’t remember her.

Back to my original point though, during this episode we finally learn how (and why) Gabriel lost his memories. Angels can remove their own memories as well as have their memories removed by other angels.

But clearly Furfur still has his memories, as well as Shax, Dagon, and Beelzebub

And anytime Crowley mentions “remembering” something it’s post-fall

Adding on Neil’s post about “Crowley not being a reliable narrator on his fall” as well as showing Crowley pre-fall in episode one leads me to believe there’s some foreshadowing in there and something happened to Crowleys memory.

But What?

Why doesn’t he remember?

What did they do to him?

#good omens #crowley #crowley good omens #good omens crowley #aziraphale #aziracrow #crowphale #ineffable husbands #gay omens #aziraphale x crowley #good omens aziracrow #aziracrow good omens #crowphale good omens #good omens crowphale #aziraphale good omens #good omens aziraphale #crowley loves aziraphale #aziraphale loves crowley #good omens theory

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donutdisturblivball · 10 months

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after rewatching nimona four times since its release (because yes, this movie is just that good), i caught a few little details that just make the whole experience so much better. so, incoming SPOILER ALERT, don’t read this if you haven’t watched the movie yet. speaking of, why the fuck haven’t you?? go watch the movie (and read the comic while you’re at it, some sites offer it for free), then come back and enjoy.

1. When the Squire gives Ballister his sword, he clearly realizes something’s wrong with it. He’s trained with it for so long that he knew that something was off just by holding it. This detail is something you wouldn’t pay much attention to when you first watch the film, but it’s there to make you realize something is a little off, especially when the Squire attempts to show him the video, but it also has plausible deniability so you could chalk it up to being something else (ie. the Squire wanting a picture with Ballister).

2. This sneaky line from this sneaky bitch.

3. Nimona tells us exactly how the movie ends. (Sorta. In a sense. The phoenix rises from the ashes and overthrows the government.)

4. You can see Nimona sneaking into the jail where Ballister is being kept.

5. Mini Ballister and Ambrosius! I think a few others have pointed this out before, but I only noticed it upon my second rewatch. (A little surprised younger Ambrosius didn’t have the Asian bob. That’s like a right of passage.)

6. Nimona’s train backstory versus her flashback.

7. During Nimona’s nightmare on the couch, she turns into a wolf, and then a cat. In her flashback, as the villagers attack her, she turns into a cat and then a wolf. It could be because having her turn into anything else would be too big for the couch, but if this is intentional, then it means Nimona was having a nightmare of that day.

8. This. Visually, the sparks are sorta similar, and in both instances, Ballister has lost something irreplaceable. I think this one might be a reach and may not be intentional, but my mind connected the two scenes and wouldn’t let go, so.

Honorable mention: the gay and trans flags above Ballister and Nimona respectively in that one scene. iykyk. I didn’t add it because 1. I think many other people have brought it up and 2. the mobile app is limiting me to 10 images. Anyway, I love this movie and its comic SO much and I’m so glad that it made it to our screens from the box of scrapped movies that could have been great if people (namely, executives) gave them a chance. There is so much love, care, and passion put into this movie, and you can really sense that this was made for its audience and its author, for its story and not only for the money it could make. This movie is metal as fuck, so GO STREAM IT!!

#nimona #nimona movie #nd stevenson #i love this movie sm this is my love letter to this movie #ballister and ambrosius r so fucking cute THIS is the queer rep i want #and nimona just.. she has my heart. my soul. I LOVE HER SM #ballister boldheart #ambrosius goldenloin #ive forced my brother my mom and five of my friends to watch this movie with me. it has been brilliant.

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iloveyoumorethansoup · 2 years

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When I am away from the Twitter posting/news for a few hours and I come back to see if the save magnum pi tag is still trending and it is everything I’m super surprised. Not because I thought it would die out but bc I keep thinking that it’s just gonna renew when I look away for a little??? Like. I’m confident it’ll get renewed but probably not at 1am

#it’s that believing in myself is my magic juice that I’m so good at chugging #i think if cbs full gives it up universal will try to put it somewhere else just from a financial perspective #and I think that there will be a couple of networks at least that will want it #great show great numbers and clearly an army of people #also. mpi was kinda poorly advertised these past years #like if I didn’t walk into the room while my dad was watching it I probably wouldn’t have ever even heard of it #and it’s such a good show. I don’t know how much tops little witch but if there’s a show that’s ever come to that level for me it’s this one #i will say I’m probably going to do my best to avoid network tv as a whole if this cancellation doesn’t get reversed #also apparently a lot of people hate the show survivor which surprised me #like they’re on their 42nd season and I’ve watched the last probably 5 or 6 #it’s definitely one of those shows that my dads like pretty please come watch with me and I usually don’t feel like it #i don’t think I’d ever rewatch an episode of that really. now mpi? I’ve seen the whole of season 2 4 times through #there were some good points made for survivor. i think it’s a neat show but I also think they’ve run it so many times that they’re #running out of ideas with how to keep things new and interesting. like it feels like now it rests on whoever’s in the show #well here’s to hoping I wake up to renewal news #soup talks

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vroomvroomcircuit · 19 days

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Drive all Night

(A/N): This is inspired by the song "Call your mom" by Noah Kahan.

Summary: Max is worried about the sudden shift in his best friends behavior. But he is willing to drive all night to get to the root of the problem.

Pairing: Max Verstappen x fem!reader (little childhood friends to lovers on the side with angst/hurt to comfort)

Warnings: Association to Max's shitty childhood, reader has depression/a depressive episode, implicit mentions of suicide, listen to the song and you get the vibe

Wordcount: 2.4k

🏎Masterlist🏎 ________________________

Max Verstappen is not a big worrier. Actually, he is no worrier at all.

When there is something to worry about, he just changes it. If he can’t change it, it’s out of his area of responsibility, so he doesn’t have to worry about it.

Thinking like that helped him focus through great challenges. But his mindset wasn’t the only motivator. Through all his highest highs and lowest lows, his best friend has been right next to him, either cheering him on or being the shoulder to cry on he just needed.

(Y/N) and him befriended each other in kindergarten, having felt this unexplainable pull to each other. Ever since playing with Legos together for the first time they had been inseparable if they could help it.

Of course, as they got older and Max’s career in karting took off and (Y/N) had to focus more on school, they started to shift to calling and texting more than relying on in person talking. But that didn’t stop them staying best friends. One might even argue that through their 24/7 updates to each other, they grew even closer.

Meeting in person in their adulthood had become increasingly easier. Sometime (Y/N) travels with Max to several races back to back, being blessed with a remote working job.

The young man starts to suspect something isn’t going smoothly during one of their daily face time calls with her being in her dark bedroom and him in a hotel room halfway across the world. “But enough of how annoying these marketing things are. What did you do today? Except for work of course.” Max just finished another yapping season about the last challenge the social media teams had him participate in.

(Y/N) just shrugs her shoulders while focusing on a loose thread in her shirt. “Nothing much. I reread pride and prejudice.” Max halts a bit in his rummaging through his suitcase, being on the look out for his charger. “I thought you had plans for lunch with a friend? And didn’t you read through that book last week already? You do know that no matter how often you read it, the ending will stay the same.” He jokes a bit.

While still not shifting her gaze towards the phone screen, (Y/N) answers in mumbles. “I canceled on her. I really felt icky today, but we will try to set up another meet up some time next week or so.”

At first Max doesn’t think of it as much. Everyone feels not like socializing every one in a while. But then something else changes. The frequency of their calls and texts.

“...here we can do- Max? Are you even listening to me?” Max gets caught off guard by that question. GP was going over some points with him before starting FP2. “Oh, uhm, sorry GP. Gimme three seconds, I just want to reply to (Y/N). It seems like she didn’t have a great day and I just want to make sure she’ll be alright until I’m out of the car.”

This makes his race engineer raise his eyebrows. “Oh, what happened?” “I don’t know. But she is rewatching one of her comfort shows for the third time in two weeks.” He blinks at the Dutchman. “And in what way is that concerning?”

Okay, voicing his worrisome thoughts out loud like that makes Max realize that the signs are not too obvious for outsiders. But he is talking about his best friend. The person that always makes sure that he won’t go without his needed amount of sleep. The same person he had been having phone calls that resulted in four out of the last seven nights with him getting not more than 5 hours of sleep, if that at all.

For an outsider it doesn’t seem bad for (Y/N) to reread the same books and rewatch the same shows over and over again. Or having her best friend, the person she became emotionally most dependent on, talk with her through her nights.

But for Max, it raises red flags. It hits his alarm bells, ringing out loud that something is majorly wrong. He can’t put his finger on it, not just yet. He is still looking for a way to get her to tell him what is bothering her.

There is a certain uneasiness to Max during that entire race weekend. He is just itching to seat his ass on a plane on his way back to his (Y/N), a friend that he might harbor more than just platonic feelings for. A person that had his back all the time.

To the person he loves the most, that is also struggling the most right now.

He wants to be able to pay her back for all the times she stuck through his darkest times.

But something in him is scared that he isn’t able to get to her in time. “Didn’t you want to go out with a colleague of yours for drinks last night?” Max asks into the phone while speed walking through the airport. Ever since leaving his hotel room on this fine Monday morning, he has been on a phone call with (Y/N).

A sigh greets his ears. “I wanted to, but I didn’t feel like dressing up or sharing a space with a bunch of strangers. I just ordered some food in and watched your race.”

There is another red flag. (Y/N) maybe was never a big socializer to begin with, but she liked going out every now and then. But for a couple of weeks now the only thing Max gets to hear about plans is that she canceled them.

Listening to her just cutting contact with the outside world like that, it doesn’t only worry him. It’s not even scary. It terrifies him.

The two of them continue talking the whole plane ride until (Y/N) falls asleep. Even then Max doesn’t hang up. He still lets the call continue, not wanting her to wake up and feel alone. She doesn’t deserve to feel alone.

No one does. But especially not her.

When he was in karting, some kids gave him grief for winning most of the time. It was difficult for little Max to understand. So do people not want him to win?

It became more confusing to him since some people around him wanted him to win desperately. It hurt him, not understanding the difference of who wanted his best and who wanted to see him fail.

He felt isolated from his peers, especially those who should understand under what pressure he was, because they must feel the same. Right?

During these days, where he rather stopped driving in circles in a very fast manner and just continued playing football, (Y/N) was his only footing. She talked him out of ending his career in motorsport. She painted a picture of his future in the prettiest colors with her words. She gave him something to look forward during these trying times.

And when it got harder before it got easier, she held his hand and reminded him that she will always stay by his side.

Now it’s Max’s turn to show her that he will always stay by her side.

He opens the door to her apartment slowly, trying to make the least noise possible.

Every room is shrouded in what must feel to her like a never ending darkness. The blinds are drawn in front of every window, hindering the tiniest bit of sunlight to filter through. Even to Max it feels like the despair that is in the air will never stop. It is all consuming.

He tiptoes towards her bedroom. There she lays, illuminated by the low light of his phone screen. Curled up tight under a bunch of blankets and between a mountain of pillows and stuffed animals.

The MV lion, the first one that has ever been produced, the original prototype before giving the go for mass production, is held tightly and close to her chest. It pulls on his heartstrings, seeing the comfort it must have brought her while he was absent.

Max kneels down at the head of the bed, gently shaking her awake. “Schatje, come on. Wake up. We got a day of new adventures just in front of us outside the door.”

It’s something they started to say in elementary school. They once read a book in class with the premise that every day is the start to a new adventure. You just have to welcome it in. Back then, when inviting something unknown in your life was considered exciting, not scary or life changing.

“The adventures can wait a day longer.” She mumbles and turns around, trying to shake his hand on her shoulder off. But Max is having none of it.

“The darkness is fooling you. Every light that has been turned off can be turned on.” He gets up and opens the blinds. Sunlight floods the room, and even at the messiest state the young man has seen his best friend, she still is the most beautiful woman on earth to him

(Y/N) lets out a noise of unpleasantness. “Please Max, I can’t deal with it today.” “No, you will. We are going to deal with it, whatever this it is, together.” He marches over to her dresser and produces a clean set of clothes out of thin air. That is what it looks like to her in this mess at least.

“You are going to shower. After that we will take a drive with no destination.” His words are final and in a tone that makes the young woman drag her limbs and body out of the bed and trudge towards the bathroom, even when the unwillingness is evident by her groaning.

Hearing the shower is Max’s cue to sit down and take a deep breath. He doesn’t know what he expected, but seeing the light of life missing in (Y/N)’s eyes isn’t on that list. It feels like a punch to his gut, witnessing her wither away without knowing from what.

It doesn’t take long and they both sit in the car. A drive without destination is exactly what it says. Just Max driving with (Y/N) sitting in the passenger seat. Usually they used these trips to catch up, to talk about everything and nothing. To voice big philosophical thoughts and dumb brain farts. They started this tradition, that usually includes some sort of fast food, when Max got his drivers license.

But sitting in complete silence for five minutes straight. That is something new.

“You know,” Max breaks it after another seven minutes. “Not talking about it won’t make the problem go away. It also doesn’t hinder it in its existence. Instead it will just get heavier and heavier until you break under the weight.” His dry tone isn’t something she anticipated.

(Y/N) looks out the window, seeing the colorful sunset for the first time in weeks. It’s easy to forget the beauty of the world when your inside thoughts feel like a graveyard. “I don’t want to worry you.”

That admission nearly has the Dutchman emergency breaking in the middle of a street through the fields. “So you play cat and mouse with your feelings because you don’t want to worry me?” (Y/N) nods.

Max lets out a laugh. “So what exactly makes you think that me witnessing you just becoming a shell of who you once were won’t worry me?”

She shrugs. (Y/N) didn’t expect him to catch that something feels wrong in her.

“Schatje. I will always worry about you, You are too important to me to not worry about you. Seeing you wither away in yourself, it made me scared going out on these tracks, sitting down in the car, and wondering if you still breathe while I’m driving another mile. Not knowing what you feel, that worries me more than the truth. Because then we can work on getting you better together. But when you don’t let me in, I can’t help and feel like by just standing and witnessing without intervening that I’m at fault for anything that happens to you. It hurts more seeing you hurting than knowing what you hurt from.”

She turns towards Max, mustering his side profile. She hasn’t thought about how her actions are perceived by her surroundings. (Y/N) just fell into that hole of darkness unexpectedly. While sitting at the bottom of that somber pit, she thought that trying to reach out for help would mean another person gets pulled into it.

If there was one person she doesn’t want sitting next to her in that dark hole, then it is Max. She harbors too much love and affection for him to want him to suffer the same fate as her. So not talking about her darkest thoughts seemed like the best way of keeping him far away from the hole.

But it just drew him in closer.

(Y/N) finally sees what he saw the whole time.

“You know, it’s hard to explain what happened. It takes time to really understand what goes on in me right now.” Max puts a reassuring hand on her leg. “We have all night to talk about it. Help me help you. Let us find a strategy to get you better. May it be medication, meditation, punching me or falling in love with someone. I need you to find a reason to stay with me, physically and mentally.”

She puts a hand over hers and looks Max in the eye for the first time since he arrived. “I already fell in love.”

He doesn’t need to hear more.

Max keeps his promise. He drives through the night, holding (Y/N) to the best of his ability while she cries, curses and explains.

By that not everything is picture perfect again. But it’s the first step. The first one to a future they both want to share with each other. For now and ever, that is enough motivation for (Y/N) to keep going, to continue turning every light on that was off.

#max verstappen image #max verstappen x you #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen #max verstappen x fem!reader #x reader #x fem!reader #x you #reader insert

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absolutebl · 2 months

Text

These Weeks in BL - This Is Very Late, Or Right on Time depending on where you sit on the temporal debate team

Sorry I got distracted by work. In my defense: I was paid.

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

March 2024 Wk 1 & 2

Ongoing Series - Thai

Cherry Magic (Sat YouTube grey) ep 12 fin - Unfortunately, there was singing. But what can we do?

A soft charming warm hug of a show about crushes and mind reading and self worth, with no-fuss execution from a consummate team and an OG lead pair proving why they remain eternal and deserve to grow up. Look, here’s the thing, Cherry Magic is a great Thai BL in its own right not comparing it to any other iteration. But even when I do compare (and I've seen all the Cherries and read the manga) it still stands. This is a great show, a solid adaptation, and a pleasing take on the original yaoi. I personally like it better than the Japanese live action, but I think that’s because I just really like Thai BL and I LOVE TayNew. I doubted them for this and I shouldn’t have. They did a great job, as did the sides. I will say all the kissing was both present and better than any other iteration. As it should be. Definitely one for the rewatch rotation. 9/10

Deep Night (Thurs iQiyi) ep 1 of 8 (10?) - Damn it, I love it. And I don't want to. It’s more classic BL than I thought it would be, and far less Only Friends or Playboyy. (Thank fuck.) We got a big cast and a lot of tropes going down out the gate, including SMITTEN popular hot guy versus nerd with secret identity. (Incidentally, Khem did drop into rude / informal when arguing with his Aunt and defending his ma. Bratty boy.) The leads have good chemistry (First always does), and everyone is very pretty. The main boy reminds me of J-Min's role (and look) in Love Class 2. I am entertained. (And faintly wonder why this isn't a MosBank vehicle.)

To Be Continued (Thai C3 Thailand grey) eps 1-3 of 8- High school sweethearts who had a bad break up reunite a decade later when both of them have full time jobs (celebrity & doctor). Dr Ji is a familiar face (hi Dream it's been a LONG time) and everyone is way too old for high school, but I guess I prefer this to child actors?

I'm enjoying it, actually, the cast may be older but they're solid as a result and the chemistry is on point for a pulp. Whether our celebrity is on the DL or cheating or something else remains to be seen but he sure is smitten. The way he LOOKS at Ji = hawt.

Frankly? Celebrity/doctor is a good pairing and this is a solid Thai BL. I hope we have a nice angsty reason for the break-up and we're not in another Promise situation. I like the sides too. Carry on, little show, I'm disposed to be pleased with you.

City of Stars (Fri iQIYI) eps 5-6 of 12 - I am enjoying it, actually. It’s incredibly silly. But I don’t really mind. STOP SINGING.

1000 Years Old eps 3-4 of 12 - I love that these kids basically adopted a vampire pet. And one of them accidentally got a vampire boyfriend. This suddenly turned from a PNR into a family drama about domestic gays opening a food stall and I'm not mad about it. Nothing makes sense and I don't care because... rainbow umbrella!

A Secretly Love (Thai WeTV grey) eps 1 of 10 - I don’t love it. I make no bones about the fact that a pining uke rarely works for me, especially if he’s younger (cute supportive besties not withstanding), the power dynamic isn’t good. I always like Kimmon, he’s a stiff actor but v pretty. (I shallow af.) Still it’s time he started acting his age… literally. Having to watch ads again as well… for this? Ooof. I'm not sure I'm strong enough.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Perfect Propose (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 6 fin - It was very cute. I liked that there was uke instigated kisses. However I have some reservations on this one, much as I enjoyed it.

Adapted from Mayo Tsurakame’s manga, production team included Tadaaki Horai (My Love Mix-Up!) and Takeshi Miyamoto (Old Fashion Cupcake). Essentially Perfect Propose was about finding hope in a person when all other hope is gone. This show focuses on apathy, and perforce is somewhat apathetic and un-engaging especially as the pacing was off (and with only 6 episodes? now) However, this is countered by great visuals, good archetypes, and a clean story of childhood sweethearts reuniting after loosing their way in life. I landed on 8/10 mostly for a demanding younger seme and some great kisses.

Unknown (Taiwan Tues Youku YouTube) eps 2-3 of 11 - Oh it’s great. I love it. I’m still worried by how gritty and "Taiwanese short-esk" it feels, but wow does this hit all my favorite taboo tropes and buttons. I also adore the little found fam, they the cutest gay older bros ever. The younger one who wants so bad to grow up and take care of the older one and pushes himself because into self sacrifice that’s the only model of love he has. ARGH. BOYS. Why so much pain, just smooch already! Sheesh. It's on YouTube for some of us, here's the schedule.

AntiReset (Taiwan Fri Viki/Gaga) eps 6-7 of 10 - They remain questionably cute, and that is probably going to be my ultimate review of this show. Awe cameo! (Hi babies, hope the ghosts are leaving you alone.) The irony does not escape me that the person in the relationship with the most emotional acumen is, in fact, the robot and not the human. I'm sure that's meant to be deep.

Love is Better the Second Time Around AKA Koi wo Suru nara Nidome ga Joto (Japan Gaga) ep 1 of 6 - A tortured second chance romance featuring a reported and a successful celebrity(?) academic. The kid actors look nothing like their adult counterparts, but they do look much younger. So, okay. Ah the utter embarrassment of first love. Oh I like it a lot, so very messy Japanese emo. Sigh. Here we go again.

Although I Love You and You AKA Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yaro ka (Japan Thurs Gaga) eps 8-9 of 10 - They are a cute couple. They both trying so hard and so confused and awkward and polite in trying to understand each other but TERRIBLE at communication.

My Strawberry Film (Japan Thurs Gaga) eps 3-4 of 8 - I don’t know how I feel about this. But I do know it’s not my thing because it’s not BL. I’ll finish it because it’s short but… meh.

It's done, ready to binge, but I have no time

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - will binge when I have any spare time. 2024 is crazy busy for me so far.

The Servant and the Young Master (Vietnam YouTube) - I will try when I have a window of time.

Began Beginning (Myanmar YouTube) - A Burmese BL? @heretherebedork vouched for it, so I will watch eventually.

It's airing but...

Dead Friend Forever (Thai iQIYI) - finished it's run and I won't be watching it. It's horror with BL elements and the ending, well, let's just say that's a "no thank you" from me.

Ossans Love Season 2 (Japan Gaga) - 5 years later, will anything have changed? This is Japan so… no. I'm not watching this. I dislike this franchise.

Time the series (Tue Gaga/YT) 10 eps - dropped it at ep 4.

Takumi-kun (2023) movie version AKA Takumi-kun Series 6: Nagai Nagai Monogatari no Hajimari no Asa released on FOD 3/5/2024. The original project was a 6 ep series. Having seen all the previous iterations and read the (terrible) yaoi I admit to being intrigued. If anyone finds eng subbed please let me know with a link in comments or in a DM? For those intersted in this show, probably the world's first true BL franchise I chat all about it here.

Gossip

James Supamongkon has withdrawn from the series Love Upon A Time and the NetJames pair is no more. Net Siraphop will continue with the historical BL project alongside a new partner. Can I interest you in Tod Techit... almost as pretty, legs for days...

The Complete Chronology of the Assault Case Against GMMTV Actor Win Pawin

I'm merely directing your attention to these articles, I do not wish for discussion of this content on this blog. Please don't ask for further info, I don't know the answer, follow the link that's why it's there.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Still Coming

3/21 Two Worlds (Thai IQIYI) 10 eps - announced here. One of those "he's dead Jim so time travel" thingames staring MaxNat. I'm over them but Asia flipping loves this trope and I do adore MaxNat. Phupha (Gun) and Khram (Nat) love each other but Phupha is murdered. Then Khram is pulled to a parallel world where, 12 years ago, Khram and Tai (Max) were in love. However, Khram was killed by Thai’s dad. Now Tai finds alter-Khram apparently alive. But then there is ALSO an alter-Phupha (played by Gun Thanawat who is Khom the repressed butler bodyguard from Unforgotten Night).

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

How flipping adorable is this vampire with his big gay umbrella? SUCH A DORK and we got more vampire dorks coming.

Thailand has found its vampire line and it's awkward and geeky and quite cheerful. 'Bout what we expected, to be fair. It's a good look for them.

And vampires.

In other news...

That's your random moment of thirst, Lim Jimin shirtless AKA my Just B bias (I mean, I could talk about how good his extensions are and how I love a husky voice in Kpop but really, just LOOK at him). I'm very very very shallow, remember? Full vid is here.

Why am I mentioning Lim Jimin (aside from the obvious)? If Just B doesn't break soon, I could some of them transitioning to BL. Jimin in particular would be a win for us, obvs.

Also, can we talk about Bain (my bias wrecker) KILLING it on Build Up? I had no idea he was that good. Anygay, this has been your Kpop end note.

Seriously tho, is ANYONE else watching Build-Up?

(Last week - well, 2 weeks ago)

Streaming services are listed how I'm (usually watching) which is with a USA based IP

The tag bragade: @doorajar

If ya wanna be tagged each week leave a comment and I will. Easy peesy.

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angelmichelangelo · 8 months

Text

wanted to talk about my favourite scene in my favourite episode because i have a lot of feelings about it so here we go.

so it’s this particular scene in ‘of rats and men’ - anything to do with the rat king and i am there. he’s a really cool villain and i think the added bonus of him using solinher to fight the boys is really interesting but there’s this ONE scene that is always in my head when i rewatch it.

so after we see mikey hide away ice cream kitty we get a little comedic scene with him and his brothers + april and casey until splinter comes in, having just had the rat king invade his mind, he’s clearly unwell and weak, he goes to the freezer for some ice and a cheese sickle to which mikey tells him no and straight up slams the door in his fathers face to keep him from seeing the mutated cat in there.

to which splinter doesn’t take kindly towards.

remember, at this point, it’s not obvious to them that splinter is basically being possesed. he towers over mikey (ik he’s crouching here but the shot is really well done, pulling back to really emphasis how much he towers over these kids) and mikey just looks up in fear. again, splinter’s eyes don’t turn red straight away, he doesn’t show any obvious signs of change so to mikey, he’s suddenly aware of the fact that he’s pissed his dad off big time.

then, splinter strikes him, sending him across the kitchen.

we don’t see it, just a flash of red but it then immediately cuts towards the brothers reactions which again, i find interesting

it’s total shock. usually when one of them is hurt or down, we get angry reactions, something protective. but here they’re not mad. they’re just in utter disbelief that their father has just struck one of their own.

and i know splinters done this many times in the past but that all happens during training. it never occurs just because mikey is being odd. casey (and i know he was still grappling with his fear of rats here) actually recoils at this.

then we get a chase scene. again a little comedic just to lighten the tension but splinter is honing in on mikey. he wants to get to him, ignoring the other five teenagers who are in the room with them.

then we get these shots (the main reason i wanted to talk about this scene)

mikey is pushed against the fridge, exactly where he started. and you obviously can’t tell from screenshots alone but mikey is actually trembling with fear here. he’s hyperventilating and it’s not because he’s out of breath. he’s a trained ninja. he can go far longer than the little lap around the kitchen he’s just done. he’s positively terrified, and it’s not like the kind of fear in “invasion of the squirrelanoids” where he was making quips and making jokes to un-scare himself. this is a new fear because this is his father that is attacking him. he doesn’t even say anything during this moment. he just whimpers. he just trembles in fear until leo calls out to the others to “help him!”

then after splinter is pinned down, the rat king breaks through and we get reaction shots from the rest of the characters as they realise what has happened to their sensei.

i think it’s really sweet that april immediately goes to mikey, putting a protective arm over him. his eyes have shrunk to pinpricks (a neat little trick i really love that they show throughout and show when they’re scared or shocked) mikey doesn’t move or try to get back up, staying down with april it’s a nice moment (also we needed more of this duo! orange coded, blue eyed freckled friends for the win!!)

another little detail i found interesting was that after splinter seemingly goes back to normal everyone rushes to his side. april stands from where she’s crouched down with mikey and leo, raph and donnie are there to help him.

but mikey doesn’t get back up. he stays on the floor, perhaps coming out of his shock. he makes no attempt to reach his dad which.. breaks my heart little actually.

and as much as i love this episode, i really do wish it had some mikey + splinter pay off. we hardly see any moments of them together, especially since each brother gets their share of dad moments where he passes down some sort of wisdom, mikey gets a very brief “love yourself you don’t need to change” lesson in “mikey gets shellacne” and that’s it. we really were robbed of more of these two as father and youngest son. and ik all of them get attacked and scared by possessed splinter at some point but it clearly really affected ooor mikey here after being targeted in this one scene.

anywho. that’s my rant over. if anyone has any additions to this post feel free to add them as i’d be interested to see if anyone else is as crazy about this scene as i am lol

#mikey shaking and breathing heavy like was a cool addition #the writers didn’t fuck around huh #ANYWAY I LOVE THIS EPISOde #the rat king is the coolest #tmnt mikey #tmnt 2012 #tmnt meta

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bueckerssturns · 2 months

Note

Oneshot idea:

Chris or Matt and you are in a relationship. They don’t stick up for you when a celeb girl hits on them in public to “keep the peace” but this leads to ANGST.

was it worth it? - m. sturniolo

pairing: matt x fem ! reader

warnings: cursing, fighting, angst

basically the request but with my own little twist.

————————————————————————

here i was at yet another stupid influencer party that my boyfriend dragged me to, he knows this isn’t really my thing, you see matt and i have been together for nearly a year but we’ve decided to keep our relationship a secret from the public just a few friends knowing.

matt was currently talking to group of people potentially talking about collaborating or something similar to that, i was a few feet behind him giving him the space he needed.

i looked at him from the kitchen seeing how he was laughing and joking around with his friends until a girl came touching him in ways i didn’t like, leaning into his ear whispering things with a smile on her face even making her punch him in a flirting way she turned around and i finally got a good look at her. my heart dropped.

chelsea monroe an instagram model with blonde hair and blue eyes— knowing who she is and not in a good way— was now flirting with my boyfriend what hurt more was that he flirted back.

i was less than six feet away witnessing my boyfriend cheating on me like i wasn’t even there trying to distract myself from the heartbreak i started speaking to madi.

nick and chris had ubered back to their house an hour ago i would’ve gone with them but matt had told me he wanted to drive me home and that’s what he did.

“are you hungry?” he asked as we got into his car “no” i responded looking forward he started the car his hand finding its way on my thigh making me push it off making him put it back i pushed it off again.

“y/n are you okay?” he asked as he looked towards the road and back to me “yup.” i responded “are you sure?” he urged “definitely” i replied. “y/n” he stated “matthew” i said looking at him with a straight face “okay, what the fuck is wrong you never refer to me as matthew unless something is wrong” he said looking at me for a spilt second before turning back at the road.

“nothing is wrong.” i mumbled with a straight face “y/n don’t be fucking immature and tell me what the fuck is wrong!” he argued “nothing is fucking wrong now drop it!” i slightly yelled.

the rest of the ride was quiet the only sound being the radio playing faintly, as we arrived at my house i quickly unbuckled my belt and started to open my door when matt spoke again.

“i’m sorry for what i said but if you need anything just call me okay?” he says softly “okay.” i said before i fully got out of the car “i love you” he stated before i slammed the car door and made my way into my house quickly locking it.

not even five seconds after i got in i get a phone call pulling it out and looking at the caller id

“what matt?” i sighed “you didn’t say ‘i love you’ back” he mumbled “yea and?” “you never not say it back” he sighed “yea well i’m tired bye” i replied hanging up.

that was the last time i spoke to him, that was friday night now it’s sunday i’ve spent all weekend crying ignoring all his texts and calls only keeping contact with chris and nick.

i kept the no contact thing all week and before i knew it it was friday again knowing the triplets had another party to go to i decided to have a night to myself and rewatch ‘supernatural’ while eating ice cream or any other snacks i could get my hands on.

i was three hours into the show when my phone lit up with a notification ‘matthew.sturniolo just posted on their story.’

clicking on the notification my heart drops i couldn’t believe it he was posing with chelsea she was leaning into him his hand on her waist a perfect view of his neck— hickies covering his neck and lipstick slightly smudge on his lips her lipstick.

that was my breaking point i paused my tv walking towards my room pulling out his duffel bag and a box in the duffel i put all the clothes he’s left here over the time and in the box all the the gifts he’s given me. i was done and i wasn’t going to let him hurt me.

i don’t remember falling asleep but i woke up on the couch with a few missed calls from matt, i didn’t answer but i instead texted chris and nick in the group chat we had without matt

ME:

could yall come over? i have a few things i need you guys to pick up.

CHRIS:

yea let me just order an uber we’ll be there in like 10 minutes or so

NICK:

we’re on our way.

after a few minutes i hear a knock on my door already opening the door i let the boys in and made my way to my room to pick up the duffel taking it back to the living room and handing it to a very confused nick.

“give that to matthew” i said with a straight face “matthew? full name that can’t be good what’d he do” asked nick “he cheated” i stated calmly “he what?!” the both replied nearly yelling “yea you guys didn’t see the photo?” i pulled out my phone to show them the picture “that son of a bitch!” exclaimed chris “well good you’re breaking up with him” chimed in nick “wait i thought you’d be more heartbroken about this” question nick “well i was the first time it happened but i realized that if he really loved me he wouldn’t be a two timing bitch” i scoffed

“good for you!” praised chris as he smiled at me with that nicks phone rang “speaking of the devil” he sighed “what’s up matt? what? no we haven’t heard from her” he smiled winking at me signaling that he was asking about me after a while they hang up “well we have to go but we’re in your side no matter what!” nick said as he got up and gave me a side hug then picked up the duffel heading outside.

“if you ever need anything or something don’t hesitate to call or text me or nick okay?” he mumbled into my hair as we hugged “okay thank you so much i love you guys so much” i mumbled back letting go of the hug.

ring ring

i picked up my phone to matt calling i hung up and turned back around to go to sleep but my phone kept buzzing not letting me.

“hello?” i responded groggily “what the actual fuck y/n!” matt’s voice boomed through my phone’s speakers making me pull it away a bit “huh what are you talking about?” “why did chris and nick just bring me a duffel with my things in it?” he angrily asked “because i’m breaking up with you” i stated “what?” he laughed “i’m. breaking up. with. you. understand?” i broke down each word like if i was speaking to a baby “why are you breaking up with me?” he scoffed “hmmm i don’t know maybe because you cheated on me with chelsea?” i asked “what? i didn’t cheat on you!” “don’t make me laugh matthew i have proof from text messages to the story you posted last night”

“look im sorry i made a mistake but baby please don’t do this i-i love you!” he begged into the phone “maybe you should’ve thought about that before you cheated bye matthew and by the way i hope she was worth it.” i spoke before i hung up the phone.

————————————————————————

okay this is not as good as i wanted it to be but hopefully you like it pookie 😰

tags: @sturnioloslurps @hearts4chris @patscorner

#chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo x reader #fanfic #sturniolo smut

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honeyhotteoks · 10 months

Text

this night together - chapter nine (j.yh + s.mg)

chapter nine: too little too late

chapter summary: you probably would have preferred the cold shoulder. yunho and mingi find out about your heat, and things get harder.

warnings: this chapter is a pain train. no other warnings except angst and consistent references to heat and all that goes with that.

notes: i'm SO glad you all enjoyed chapter eight!! it was a fun one. please enjoy the moment many of you have been waiting for..... yungi's return and everything that comes with that. good luck because oof our y/n is going through it.

pairings: alpha!yunho x alpha!mingi x omega!reader

genre: smut, a/b/o/omegaverse, angst, fluff, romance, polyamory

word count: 6.3k

previous chapter | next chapter | AO3

You expect to see them immediately when you walk into the studio a little early on Monday but it’s painfully empty. The back office door is shut and locked tight, so you know Yunho hasn’t been in yet and if he’s not here, neither is Mingi. It feels familiar, and you’re starting to wonder if every heat is going to end with them throwing a tantrum.

“You just going to stand there?” Wooyoung’s voice nearly knocks you sideways and you jump in your shoes.

“Don’t do that!” You spin on your heel and smack his shoulder.

“You’re literally staring at a door,” Wooyoung levels you with a look, “I’m trying to pull you back down to reality so you can make it through this stupid day,”

“Fine,” You sigh, “I guess… I don’t know, do I look okay?”

He rolls his eyes, “You know you do,”

“I just don’t want,” You start but the sound of the heavy back door to the studio startles you once again and your heart lands squarely in your throat when you see them.

They barely look at you. A swift, fast glance, just enough for you to know they’ve seen you. Your hands suddenly feel slick and clammy and your stomach starts churning immediately.

“Hey,” Wooyoung steps around you to grab their attention and break the sudden awkward tension in the hall, “did anyone ever call to get the lights in Studio 3 fixed?”

Yunho blinks, almost confused by his words but then he recovers, “Uh, no, I thought they were fixed already,”

“Out again,” Wooyoung shakes his head, “I think it’s electrical if the bulbs keep blowing,”

Mingi listens for a moment, but the moment he’s sure this conversation has nothing for him he simply says, “I’ll catch you guys later,” and then he’s pushing past the two of them to cut down the hallway.

He doesn’t look at you at all.

Yunho watches him go and then refocuses on Wooyoung, “I’ll call someone,” he says, “is it the whole back panel again?”

“I’ll show you,” Wooyoung gestures down the hall, throwing a fast glance at you that communicates so much with just one flick of his eyes - Don’t follow, you’re welcome, you owe me.

As Yunho turns away from you to follow Wooyoung down the hallway you mouth a thank you and watch them go. The cold shoulder you can deal with, you’re almost too practiced with that at this point, so at least you can breathe a little easier and get back to work.

You bottle it all right back up, and even though the day has been terrible and long and awkward, you know that San’s right. It’s your studio too. You’ve missed things being out for your leave and you have to catch up quickly to stay an unshakeable member of this group. All you have to do is focus on the work.

You know you probably have to talk to them at some point, but you really didn’t think it would be today of all days. You thought they’d go back to the way it was before, an entire day of their tense glances communicated that clearly. But suddenly Mingi’s in front of you while you’re tucked up on the computer in the corner of one of the studios rewatching a cut of today’s practice and you know it’s going to be now, now or never.

“So, you’re good?” He asks suddenly, a little starting since you had expected him to just pass you by without a word, just like the rest of the day behind you.

“What?” You manage, swiveling around in your chair.

“You’re good?” He asks again, but his face is blank, passive.

You open your mouth to answer but Yunho’s voice from the side has your head snapping towards it.

“Mingi,” Yunho’s voice is firm, “let’s go.”

“One sec,” Mingi doesn’t look away from you.

“I said let’s go,” Yunho shakes his head.

“Hey,” Mingi starts and then Yunho looks at you.

“Can you lock up if you’re not leaving?” He asks, jaw tightening as soon as the words are out of his mouth.

“Sure,” You manage.

“Mingi, let’s go.” Yunho’s attention leaves you instantly, and you’ve never felt more invisible to him.

“Bro,” Mingi shakes his head, “can you fuck off for one second?”

“No, I’m getting in the car, do you want a ride or not?” Yunho’s jaw jumps in frustration.

Mingi mutters something under his breath and then meets your eyes again, “y/n,”

“Yeah?” You’re so overwhelmingly confused.

“I said, are you good?”

“Why wouldn’t I be good?” Your brows draw together.

Mingi shuts his mouth tightly, his hands forming loose fists and then he nods once, “Fine,”

“What’s going on with you two?” Your eyes dart between them, the anger in the room so palpable. They’ve been cold, they’ve been passive, but they’ve never, ever been angry with you. Not like this.

There’s a long beat of silence and then finally Yunho speaks, “Are you serious?”

“What?”

“You disappear for three days,” Yunho drops his gym bag and looks to you, “and you can’t even answer a single fucking text message, and you want to know what’s going on with us?”

Your stomach clenches hard, his dark eyes boring into you now and you need him to look away. “I was on heat leave,” You say clearly, “you got the paperwork, I know you did.”

They’re both silent.

“Look,” You sigh, and it’s already harder to maintain the wall than you thought it would be, “I’m sorry I didn’t text you back, that was shitty, but I was a little preoccupied,”

Yunho grimaces.

“Yunho, jesus,” You push yourself up off the chair and take a few steps towards them, “I don’t know what you want from me,”

“We were worried,” Mingi offers, and his voice is still low and firm, but his words at least are a little kinder.

“Well, I appreciate that, but I was fine.”

Yunho huffs, and you can almost see him fighting an eye roll. Anger bubbles inside you at their entitlement over you and your time and you can’t stop your mouth or your hot head now.

“Seriously,” You square your shoulders towards him, “Yunho, we’re friends so I feel like I can say this, but you’re acting like an asshole right now.”

“I’m acting like an asshole?” His voice gets sharp at the end, anger radiating in him.

“Yes!” You push farther into his space, “Sharing a heat together doesn’t mean I owe you something,”

His jaw jumps at your words.

“No one’s saying that,” Mingi cuts in immediately, physically pushing between you both and holding his hands up.

“Tell that to him,” You nod towards Yunho.

Yunho stays silent.

Mingi keeps his hands up, “Listen,” he catches your eyes, “no one’s angry. We just didn’t hear from you for three days, we didn’t know if you were somewhere safe. That’s all.”

“Well, I was,” You assure him, “I had everything handled, I’m back on my suppressants,”

“I know,” Mingi nods, and you suppose he would be able to tell, with your scent dampened.

“What about onboarding?” Yunho pipes in and you crane around Mingi to see him. His cheeks are flushed pink, and you can see how frustrated he is, but he tries to ask this question a bit more softly.

“What about it?” You give him one more chance, just one.

Yunho clears his throat and says again, “Onboarding. Mingi said it can be a lot, like before,”

“I had it covered,” You assure him.

“I just thought,” Yunho shifts from foot to foot, trying to find his words, “I thought maybe if it was as hard as before you’d be out of it, and I, I don’t know,”

You want to be mad at him, you really do, but that part of his fear makes sense to you. When you think about your time with them and how much you don’t quite remember perfectly, how hard it was to make it home, you get it.

“Honestly,” You exhale, relaxing the tension a bit, “I am sorry I didn’t text you back. I can understand why you were worried,”

His shoulders relax with yours, “I’m sorry too,”

You can’t say it’s okay, but you nod, glancing up to Mingi who’s seemed to soften up a bit too. There’s a long beat between you and finally Mingi asks, “So, we’re good?”

“Yeah,” You nod, “we’re good,”

Yunho nods and agrees, “I am really sorry, I really was just worried about you,”

“I know,” You nod, “I think I should have just texted you, but I didn’t know what to say,”

“Yeah,” Mingi laughs a little, just a huff and he runs his hand through his short hair, “that’s fair,”

You smile too and press your hands to your cheeks for a little cool relief, letting out a long sigh as the tension starts to release. It could end here, they could say goodbye and goodnight and you could finish up and then it would be over, but when Yunho shifts and glances between the two of you, you know immediately it won’t be so simple.

“Well,” Yunho clears his throat, “next time if you’d rather not be alone, you know, I think we’ve done pretty good at staying friends,”

“Oh,” Your heart feels like it might just fall straight out of your chest, “Yunho, I,”

“It was weird for a couple of weeks,” He adds, “but,”

You know you just have to say it, you have to get it out of your mouth before you can’t, and the words bubble up sharp and sudden, “I wasn’t alone,”

“You weren’t?” Mingi’s brows shoot up.

Yunho falls silent, ears running dark pink.

“No,” You shake your head, “I wasn’t,”

“Of course you weren’t,” Yunho manages, “sorry, that was… I don’t know why I assumed,”

“Probably because I told you that’s what I normally do,” You soften, “so I understand why you were worried, but I’m telling you that I was fine, taken care of,”

He asks it like he can’t help himself, the word falling right off his tongue, “Who?”

You take a half step back, shaking your head, “Yunho, no,”

“Why not? We’re friends,” Mingi rationalizes.

They suddenly look so much like jealous lovers you can’t breathe. Something deep in your gut must have been right all along about them, and you don’t know why you can’t stop making this same mistake over and over again. Your biology must really want you to fall for a guy like this but as harsh as the twist in your gut feels, you push it back, refusing to submit.

“No,” You turn on your heel, “I’m leaving,”

Hands on your arms pull you back and twist you around in Mingi’s hold, “Fuck,” he says, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, that was so out of line,”

“You don’t get to ask, okay?” You push him off, putting a foot of distance between you.

“I know that, we know that,” Mingi nods, holding your gaze and trying to diffuse whatever this conversation has become, “it was stupid, forget it,”

Yunho moves closer, stopping by Mingi’s side to give you the same distance, “Completely stupid, I’m sorry,”

You’re already so sick of them apologizing, but you swallow tightly and try to let it go, “Okay,”

“Only,” Yunho pauses, debating on whether or not he should say this and your breath catches in your throat, “only, why didn’t you call us?”

“What?” You can barely believe him.

“You don’t have to tell us anything,” Yunho says, looking quickly at Mingi who nods, “I just… I thought you would have called us, and when I saw the paperwork and you didn’t answer I thought maybe something happened.”

The stretching silence between you is crushing you. A flare of anger bubbles in your belly, “You said my heat before was a one time thing.”

“I never said that.”

“You did,” You shake your head, and now you just can’t stop the words, “and you know what, Yunho? Maybe this wouldn’t have been so hard and confusing if you didn’t treat me like I was invisible for weeks after we had sex,”

“You were avoiding me too,” His tongue is quick when he’s angry and you can almost see the regret in his eyes but he doubles down, “both of us.”

“I’m not going to listen to this,” You cheeks flare with angry blush, “I’m done. We work together, that’s it. I don’t know what you want from me, I’ll get whiplash if you keep-”

Your words die on your tongue, your back connecting with the hard studio wall behind you. You don’t see Mingi coming, your eyes steady on Yunho and you’re about to throw up your hands and leave again when Mingi collides into you, his lips on yours.

“Mingi!” You squeak against his mouth.

“Please,” He pleads, shaking his head.

His body feels so good you might lose your mind entirely. His plush mouth stays on yours, tongue dipping between your lips to flick along yours. His scent envelops you, his hot hands holding you against him, and you melt into him as your body responds to him. He kisses like you’re his only lifeline, messy and hungry and pouring desperation into you ounce by ounce. Your hand tightens on his back. He hitches your leg up onto his hip, pressing your body open for him to slot between your legs.

Your eyes stay shut as he kisses his way down your jaw, nipping along your skin until his mouth is on your throat, ghosting softly over your pulsepoint. Your mind is spinning, flooded hot, everything falling away and then it all stops.

Mingi stiffens, body locking up and you hear him take a deep inhale of breath. He rocks back away from you, “Seonghwa?”

“What?” Yunho’s voice re-enters the mix.

Mingi steps away from you and you brace your body against the wall, finding your feet under you and trying to catch your breath, “Don’t,”

“I’m right,” Mingi’s face knits up in confusion, his fists tighten, “fuck,”

Yunho looks stricken.

“You slept with Seonghwa?” Mingi repeats.

“Don’t,” You repeat, anger curling inside you and you push off the wall, “we’re friends and maybe I should have texted you, but that’s all we are, you made that perfectly fucking clear after my heat. You don’t get to treat me like I cheated or try to mark your fucking territory,” You scrub your hand across your throat where Mingi kissed you, where he let his tongue linger.

“We’re not together,” You reiterate, “we’re not in love, or soulmates, or scent matches, or whatever the fuck else people say. We had sex, that’s it.”

The words are out there, dropped between you like lead and you realize coldly somewhere in the back of your mind, you can never take that back.

Yunho and Mingi stand stock still at the grenade dropped between you, but then Yunho shifts forwards one step with a tight inhalation of breath.

“That’s not all it was for me,” He manages, and when you meet his eyes your resolve nearly, nearly crumbles.

“Whatever you feel for me isn’t real, it’s biology,” You shake your head, trying to catch your breath and keep your words straight. If they loved you before they would have come to you then, you just have to hold onto that truth.

“Don’t tell me what I feel,” Yunho looks away from you, his hands tight, “don’t patronize me.”

“This is why we should have never,” You shake your head, looking at Mingi like you might see a scrap of reason in his eyes, but you see nothing, pure passive inattention like he’s shut down and left the conversation.

“y/n,” Yunho shakes his head, “I’m not some lovesick virgin,”

“I know that,” You sigh, “I didn’t mean,”

“You did,” Yunho interrupts, “and if you don’t feel the same about us, just say it.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” You feel like you’ve entered an entirely different narrative, “You said you wanted to be friends, isn’t that what we are?”

“Friends don’t kiss like that,” Mingi admits gruffly.

“You kissed me,” You manage.

“y/n,” Mingi says softly, “I felt it, the way you kissed me back, touched me… there’s something there,”

“Is that what this is about?” Your jaw tightens, “You think I’m yours?”

Mingi’s jaw snaps shut, muscles jumping.

Yunho shakes his head, bringing you back to his eyes, “No,” he sighs, “but,”

“But what?” You won’t cry, not here, “You’re perfectly fine treating me like I’m invisible until another alpha gets a little too close? I’m a person! A whole entire person, I’m not an omega for you to… to…”

“I know that!” Yunho exclaims, “I like you. We like you, it has nothing to do with designation,”

“That’s the most naive sentence I’ve ever heard,” You take a step back, away, closer to the mirrored wall, “if that were true why didn’t you say anything weeks ago?”

“I didn’t know then,” He insists, looking to Mingi for help but finding none in his vacant eyes.

“That’s what I’m saying,” You sigh, exasperated, “you’re just realizing it now? Right when I spend my heat with another alpha? You’re confused.”

“It’s not confusion,” Mingi says simply, “we’re not stupid.”

“So, you both have feelings for me? Is that what you’re saying?” You bite back, and you clench your fist tight. You won’t cry.

They say nothing, silence filling the room like smoke and you need to get out.

“After we spent that time together,” You take a steadying breath, “I missed you both so much it hurt. All the time. I would convince myself not to come to your place and knock on the door and… and I don’t know what I wanted. I thought about you all the time, and the things you said and did for me. I missed you so much it made me sick,”

“Then,” Yunho starts, his voice small but you shake your head.

“But you didn’t want me,” You insist, “you spent weeks making sure I knew it. Every day you wouldn’t look at me, you wouldn’t talk to me, I’ve never felt so small.”

Mingi’s eyes cloud and he drops his head.

“And it was hard, but the things I felt for you went away,” You press, despite the tightness in your chest, “with a little time and space, it went away. I know you both care about me, and I care about you, but you don’t love me.”

“I don’t accept that,” Yunho shakes his head, moving forwards before you can process it, his arms around you as he tucks you into his chest, “how can you say that when this feels the way it does?”

Your head throbs with the scent of him, washing through you and making your limbs go soft and your heartbeat slow to a stutter instead of a pounding thump, but your brain clicks back into place and you wriggle in his arms, “Let me go,”

He leans away, cupping your cheek in his hand to draw your face up to his gaze, “Don’t you?” He manages, voice cracking gently.

You’re dizzy, mind flooded and confused, but you try, “I don’t,”

His thumb strokes a gentle line over your cheekbone, shifting just a little closer, “y/n,”

“Yunho,” You manage, your voice shaking as you try to stay level, “if you kiss me now, there’s nothing for us.”

His brow creases as he studies your eyes, exhaling an unsteady breath.

“I’ll go, I’ll find another studio.” You grip your hand tight and let your nails dig into your soft palm, “I need you to let me go, please, let me go,”

His arms fall away, and he takes two sizable steps back, running a hand through his hair, “After everything, that’s it?”

“It has to be,” Your eyes feel prickly, “I’ve moved on. I need you both to do the same. Find someone else, another omega. I know you think you want me, but it’s just your alphas talking. And maybe we could have been more than this, but you hurt me, you both did, and I’ve moved on.”

“I shouldn’t have kissed you,” Mingi manages.

“No,” You shake your head, “you shouldn’t have.”

“I’m sorry,” His voice is small.

“This,” Yunho tries to say something, but his voice is thick with emotion and he clears his throat, words dying on his lips.

“I’m sorry too,” You finally add, “and I thought we could go back to being friends, but this, it hurts too much.”

“What do we do?” Yunho asks, voice hollow.

“I need some space,” You swallow tightly, “we’ll do the work, but that’s it. If we ever have a shot at being friends someday, at feeling like this isn’t always there… that’s what I need, and maybe we can fix this.”

“Okay,” Mingi says.

“Tour,” Yunho takes a deep breath, and you realize now that he has tears flooding his eyes that he’s doing his best to blink away, “we’ll be gone for months,”

He’s right, in a matter of weeks they’ll be gone with a small group of the BB Trippin dance crew to Europe. You have your focus here with the newly debuting group alongside Dahan and Yujin, but they don’t, they’re leaving with New World and it would be almost three full months until they’d be back in Korea.

“Good,” You breathe, ignoring the pit forming in your stomach at the thought of not seeing them, “then let’s just get through the next few weeks, but after that you go. Don’t text me, don’t call me, just… move on.”

Silence stretches, but Yunho nods.

If you stay here for one more minute you’re going to cry, “I have to go,”

He nods again.

There’s more to say, you can feel it, but you can’t do it now and you have to push yourself to get out the door. You push past them as quickly as you can, eyes on the door in front of you, but Yunho follows behind and catches you once more in the hall.

“y/n,” He doesn’t touch you, but calls after you in the hall, but you don’t turn around you can’t. If you look at him one more time you’ll cry, you’ll go back, you’ll throw all the things you said to the side just to feel his arms around you one more time or Mingi’s lips on yours and you can’t. You have to be better than this, for yourself.

You stop though and turn your head just a little to let him know you’re listening.

“I’m,” His voice tightens and hitches, “I’m really fucking sorry we lost you,”

Hot tears overflow at his words, spilling over down your cheeks and you drop your head and nod. You grip your hands tighter and steady yourself and hope to god that your voice will hold up, “Me too,”

He takes a tight, wet inhale and you have to move, one more second in this hallway and you’ll want nothing more than to comfort him, to soothe your alpha and smooth this moment over, but the latent thought of him as yours strikes panic in your chest and you push forward down the hall.

You round the corner at the end by the office, and the image of him coming out of the doorway that first night won’t leave you alone, the way he softened when he saw you in heat, the way he took you in his arms.

You stifle a sob with your hand over your lips, and then you’re running. Out of here, away from this, and you don’t know where you’re going until you get there, every step a blur.

You knock fast on San’s door, and you feel bad about crashing their night, but you can barely breathe and you need to see a friendly face or you just might fall apart. You had gotten your tears under control on your way over, out of sheer embarrassment that you were crying in the middle of the street, but tightness gathers in your throat now as you wait for an answer to the door and pins prick the back of your eyes.

You hear shuffling on the opposite side of the door, a hand on the knob, and tears spill over already.

San’s smiling when he opens the door, looking over his shoulder back into the main living space and finishing saying something to Wooyoung who’s inside, and your breath hitches.

His eyes settle on you, “y/n?” His face falls as he sees your tears, “What?”

“S-San,” Your tears rush faster, your words cut off in a sob and you launch yourself forwards to collide with his chest, wrapping your arms around his neck and burying your face in his shoulder, sobs wracking yours.

“Hey, hey, hey,” He stumbles back, wrapping his arms around you, “what’s going on?”

“y/n’s here?” Wooyoung’s voice comes from the side and you can’t stop yourself from crying harder.

“I need you to breathe,” San soothes you, his voice low, “I need you to tell me what happened,”

You shake your head into his neck, hiccuping as you do.

“Are you hurt?” He presses, one of his hands sliding up your sides to search your body, “I need you to talk to me,”

You drag in a shaky breath, but Wooyoung sees you now and jumps forwards, “Is she hurt?”

“Woo,” San interrupts him, “hang on, okay, just,”

“I’m,” You clear your throat, “I’m not hurt,”

San exhales heavily, relieved at your words and nods, cupping the back of your head, “Alright, just breathe,”

“What the hell happened?” Wooyoung says.

“I know as much as you do,” San says, “just grab her stuff and let’s get inside,”

“Yeah,” You hear Wooyoung moving, picking up your bag from the floor outside his apartment door, and then you hear it click shut.

“y/n,” San tries again as you try to get your breathing under control, “can you tell me what happened?”

“I t-talked to Yunho and Mingi,” You murmur wetly into his shirt.

“What the fuck did those idiots do?” Wooyoung’s hand settles between your shoulder blades as he shifts closer to try and catch your eyes.

“It’s a mess,” You manage.

“Woo,” San says softly, “get her a glass of water,”

“But,” Wooyoung starts.

“Go.” San insists.

Wooyoung’s hand leaves you.

“y/n,” San says, “come inside and sit down,”

You peel yourself away from him, covering your face immediately as tears continue to roll down your cheeks, but San steers you inside with a warm arm until you’re sinking down onto the couch.

“Water,” Wooyoung says, holding an icy cold glass in his hand and taking his spot on the extended length of the sectional so he can angle towards you and see your face, “drink this,”

He presses the glass into your hands and you take a shaky sip, the cold shocking your brain a little as you try to get a little more down.

San tugs the coffee table a little closer and takes a seat on the wood top and then leans forward to catch your eyes, elbows resting on his knees, “Can you tell us what happened?”

You sigh deeply and then recover your breath, wiping your eyes with the sleeve of your sweater, “They know,”

“About this weekend?” San surmises.

“Just Seonghwa,” You clarify, taking another sip of water, “they were so angry, I didn't want to tell them the rest,”

“Fucking assholes,” Wooyoung curses, his jaw tightening as he looks away.

“What else?” San’s voice is gentle, so unlike confident alpha tone you had gotten used to, “You can tell us,”

“They… I mean, Yunho… he said that they,” The words get jumbled in your mind as you flash back to the studio room, “it’s all so fucked, they’re acting like this is…”

“Babe,” Wooyoung plucks the glass from your hands and passes it to San, returning his hands to yours so he can steady your shakes, “you’re not making a lot of sense, and I’m about two seconds from driving over to their place and castrating them. I need you to please tell me they didn’t do anything stupid,”

“Youngie,” San sighs, exasperated.

You shake your head, “No,” you manage, “they have feelings for me, they said… when they found out about my heat they were so…”

“Now?” Wooyoung’s eyebrows go high, “Now they have feelings for you?”

“That’s basically what I said,” Your lips turn up in the smallest smile.

“What else?” San cuts through the commentary.

“If they had said something, anything weeks ago,” You trail off.

“They didn’t though,” San reminds you, “and that’s on them. Not on you.”

“So you fought?” Wooyoung surmises.

You wipe your eyes again and nod, “It was awful,”

“I’m sorry,” Wooyoung takes your hands in his, smoothing his thumbs over the back of your knuckles, “We all knew they might be upset, we shouldn’t have left you alone,”

“I handled it,” You shake your head, the telltale feeling of a migraine coming on in the back of your skull from how many tears you’ve shed, “I… just - I don’t know why this is so hard,”

San shifts forwards, cupping your cheek in his hand and soothing you, “How about you stay over tonight? We can order some takeout and just forget about this for now,”

“I’ve got soju if you need a drink,” Wooyoung adds, “whatever you need, we’re here,”

“I just want to know what to do,” You push San’s hands away and drag your fingers through your hair, “it shouldn’t be this hard,”

“How did you leave it?” Wooyoung asks gently, hand on your knee.

Yunho’s words in the hallway strike back through your chest, but you shake your head, “Kind of terribly,”

“Okay,” He prompts you for a little more.

“I told them to go on tour and to not contact me so we can get some space,” You say it in a single breath and then you duck your head in your hands again.

“Damn,” Wooyoung grimaces.

“I know,” You sniff back fresh tears, “maybe I should have stayed, but, I just… I couldn’t,”

“y/n,” San pulls your hands down and takes them in his, smoothing his thumbs over the soft hollows of your palms, “you did the right thing. Space is good,”

“Is it?” You said it, and in the moment you believed it, but months without speaking to them feels like torture.

“It’s good,” He nods, wiping away your tears, “you need time to figure out how you feel and they need time to do the same. You’re never going to be able to get it if you’re working on top of each other every day,”

You let San’s words sink in and you know he’s right. All of the talking and the not talking with them up to this point had just left your relationship a jumbled mess. Time away could fix this. You knew it deep in your gut in the studio as you backed out the door and you know it now.

With a deep breath you scrub your hands under your eyes to clear away the last remnants of tears and any smudged mascara and you nod, “Woo,” you face him, “where’s that soju?”

“On it,” He grins, “I know exactly what you need,”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm,” Wooyoung hops up and heads for San’s kitchen, “Beer, soju, and junk food. I’m making chapagetti,”

You groan, knowing exactly what your body is going to feel like tomorrow.

“At least put some protein on it,” San calls back, “for the love of god,”

“Sannie,” Wooyoung says, his head clearly in the fridge at the muffled tone, “just let me work my magic,”

“Mhm,” San shakes his head.

“I’m going to be so hungover tomorrow aren’t I?”

“Definitely,” San laughs, “but you can crash here, we’ll take care of you.”

You nod, knowing they absolutely will.

When Wooyoung hands you the cold glass of beer and the shot you clink your glass with him and knock it back in sync and for a little while you put it all out of your mind.

It isn’t until later, in the safe darkness of San’s bedroom with your best friends on either side of you, that you feel like the words might make it out of your mouth without it all ending around you. The alcohol in your system has started to dissipate, leaving you exhausted and a little heavy feeling, but your thoughts are starting to stitch back together and you just have to tell them.

You’re snuggled tight to Wooyoung’s chest, your forehead pressed to his sternum, San behind you but not really touching you, just laying on his back and staying close enough to give you the comfort of another body. You can’t stop replaying it, seeing them when they realized you had been with not just someone else but someone they knew.

You don’t know what possesses you, but in the darkness you murmur, “Mingi kissed me,”

Wooyoung’s breathing hitches for just a moment as he registers your words, but he recovers cleanly, his fingers just running over your hair again and again, “When?”

“Tonight,” You shift, pushing yourself to lie on your back between the two of them, “I think he was trying to show me he meant it,”

They let your words sit there for a moment, and then Wooyoung turns to look at you, “How do you feel about it?”

“Stupid,” You exhale, answering honestly, “really fucking stupid,”

“Why?” San props up on one arm, hand on his cheek and brow furrowed as he looks down at you.

You feel the outline of his mouth on yours again, his hands and how they held you, how much he poured into one moment just to get you to understand. “Because,” You answer, “all I could think about was how much I missed him,”

“y/n,” Wooyoung murmurs, “do you think they meant it? That their feelings are real?”

“Maybe,” You say, “but the timing,”

“Yeah,”

“And besides,” You shake your head, “I said some things I shouldn’t have,”

“Like?” San asks.

“I told them they fucked it up,” You blink back tears, “and that we weren’t soulmates and that they’re wrong,”

“Oh,” San says, “that’s direct,”

“I know,” You groan, dropping your hands over your eyes, “I was just so angry,”

“Space will be good then,” Wooyoung offers, “you all need a breather.”

“There’s no easy way to work together when that’s how you left it,” San points out, “so time away gives you all a chance to rethink some things and get some clarity,”

“What if,” The words die in your throat.

“What?” San nudges you.

“What if they come back and nothing’s fixed,” You sigh, “what if it’s worse?”

“You won’t know it until it happens,” San takes your hand in his, lacing your fingers together, “you can’t control everything, y/n, sometimes you just have to let things work out.”

You nod, and then you ask the question you’ve been afraid of since you walked out the studio door, “Should I have just stayed? If… if they do have feelings for me, and they’re real, should I have just stayed?”

“It would have been easier,” Wooyoung murmurs, “but babe, you’d still have the same questions,”

“Yeah,” You breathe, stomach in knots.

“Tour is soon,” San reminds you, “you got through weeks of the cold shoulder last time, you can do this,”

You nod.

“It’s late,” Wooyoung comments.

“I know,” You murmur.

“It’s going to be okay,” San says, “I know it will.”

“You’re right,” You breathe, “I just think it shouldn’t be this hard, if we were meant to work out, shouldn’t it be easier than this?”

They’re quiet for a moment and then San sighs, “Probably,”

Wooyoung turns and looks at him, his lips closing before he shrugs and rolls towards you, snuggling up to your side.

“What?” You nudge him, reading through his silence.

“Nothing,” He says.

“Woo,” You nudge him harder.

“I just think you shouldn’t close any doors,”

“Mm,”

“I’m just saying,” He wraps an arm around your middle, “take the break from them, see how you feel later. You’re overthinking this,”

San drags his thumb over your knuckles and Wooyoung shifts closer, resting his head on your shoulder. The quiet stretches around you as you take in his words. He might be right, but you can’t think about that now. Not with the day you’ve had and the headache behind your eyes.

The fight plays over and over again in your mind every time you close your eyes, a loop of Mingi’s mouth on yours and Yunho’s eyes shining with tears. The feeling of their hands on you, begging you to stay. The look on their faces when they realized you had sought out another alpha for your heat, and not just any, but one of their best friends. You wonder what might have changed had you texted them back, who you might have met at the studio today instead.

That’s not all it was for me.

A little piece of you wishes you could take back everything you said.

#honeyhotteoks fics #honeyhotteoks updates #this night together fic #yunho x reader #mingi x reader #yungi x reader #yunho #mingi #ateez fic #ateez series #ateez ff

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sanjisblackasswife · 1 year

Text

Asking Them “Would You Want to Make a Sex Tape with Me?” (Part 1) NSFW

Ft. Sanji, Law, Zoro, Luffy

Black Fem Reader in Mind

Law

“Absolutely not.”

It’s really only because he has that giant fear of someone finding the camera and seeing it.

He would at least consider pictures ONLY if he keeps them. You agree, but little did you know you would never be able to see them. He refuses to let you even peak.

And it’s not because he thinks you’ll lose them or anything it’s because he has many pictures you may not like….I.e. he took A LOT of pictures of you playing with yourself.

“…. Like a porno?”

He knows what it is he isn’t stupid but doesn’t necessarily understand why you would want to do that.

“I don’t know…I’m just curious….it will be like our own personal film.”

He agrees, and everything goes smoothly up until you rewatch and Luffy is look right into the damn camera while you were on top.

“You look terrifying why are you staring like that?!”

“Ion know i got distracted.”

However you have to keep the film yourself because you ended up nearly punching your boyfriend after he ran off with it to show Usopp

Sanji

“Y-yes! YES OF COURSE ANYTHING FOR YOU!”

He never thought you’d want to make a sex tape, but he sure as hell thought about it a lot since he has his own recorder.

When you both agree to do it the only thing he wants is to hold the camera . He didn’t want to see himself only you. This was because ever since he got with you you have been how he gets off. Not just with sex but when he is alone too. He doesn’t even use his magazines no more he would much rather be under you or think about it

When it happens he is way more quiet which threw you off as you were under him and so you opened your eyes and looked up to Sanji still thrusting into you deep and hard but focusing on your breast and pussy only. Sometimes spreading your open more with his thumb making you cry out.

“Sannjiii…”

“Yeah..just like—ah that sweet heart, good girl.”

He took pictures of the after effects of it and those alone can get him riled up Everytime he sees them.

He does keep one pic of your holding your bare breast in his pocket and stares at it from time to time when he needs a pick me up and you’re not there. It’s not even a lustful gaze it’s a small smile because he feels happy to know you trust him with such private pictures.

Zoro

“Dumbass idea.”

He doesn’t care to do it at first he just thinks it’s a stupid thing to do, but this mf turns into damn porn director once it happens.

You on top of him grinding and bouncing your way to your orgasm as Zoro lays stubbornly still just holding your waist and pointing the camera at you

“You Like being my slutty little pornstar don’t you?”

“Fuck—-ah! You!”

With a firm slap to your butt making you shriek he tsk’ed at you,

“Your Only Lines are, ‘Zo’, ‘faster’ and ‘yes’.”

He now only uses the camera to film how hard he pounds you when you’re bratty just so he can replay it the next day and tease you.

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ariesqueencobra · 5 months

Text

what we used to be | l

Pairing: Eli Moskowitz x Fem!Reader

Summary: You meet a new kid and your feelings for your best friend are said aloud.

Warnings: mentions of bullying, mentions of slut shaming, implications of violence, implications of strict parents

Word Count: 3k

A/N: Starting my first ever series for Eli! I always wanted to do a series following his story line in the show along with a female character so I did! I'm aware of other series being done like this by other writers on here, but this will be my own unique twist. There are similarities because it does follow the show's storyline but different because of my own interpretations!

I don't consent to this work being copied, translated or reposted.

“If the limit never approaches anything, then the limit does not exist,” you listened to Eli as he helped you with your math homework. “But in this case, it does, so what is it?” he pointed at the problem on the sheet.

“Two?” you furrowed your brows, trying your best not to sound like you were guessing.

“C’mon, Y/N, you’re in Calculus for a reason,” he encouraged.

“Only because I passed Trig with an 89, they only let me in because of pity,” you frowned.

Calculus has been your enemy since the beginning of the semester. You really didn’t want to take the class in the first place but your parents had been adamant about you taking higher-level classes. You would’ve been fine filling up your schedule with more creative art classes like ceramics and photography, but that wasn’t the agreement.

Math and science classes were part of the agreement.

Thankfully, you had two smart best friends who helped you whenever you had trouble.

“My advice?” Demetri spoke up.

You and Eli glanced at him, a knowing look on both your faces.

To be honest, while you had two best friends, only one was good at helping you out.

Demetri on the other hand? He had a habit of giving unsolicited advice. But because you loved him, you tolerated and actually encouraged him to hear what he had to say.

“Rewatch Mean Girls,” he deadpanned.

You let out a chuckle. “What I’m hearing is, that you guys are agreeing to watch it for our next movie night,” you grinned.

Both boys groaned.

“I’m fine watching your sci-fi, superhero films, but a girl needs her rom coms and chick flicks,” you mused.

Being the only girl and having vastly different interests compared to the guys, there were moments where you felt outnumbered. Sometimes you have to plead for one movie night to be your pick.

“I’d be down for Mean Girls this Friday,” Eli shrugged.

You silently clapped your hands, face creeping up with heat when you and Eli made eye contact.

“Demitiri?” you turned your attention to your other best friend.

After a minute, he rolled his eyes, agreeing.

“This Friday, my place,” you grinned. “Both my parents will be having a date night, so we’ll have the place to ourselves,”.

“Are you sure your dad will allow that?” Demetri cocked a brow. “That man is scary and I don’t want to know what will happen when he sees his daughter home alone with two boys,” he shuddered.

“He won’t mind, he likes you guys,” you attempted to reassure. “Besides, we’re just watching a movie,”.

“We know that, but will he?” Demetri asked in a mix of sarcasm and sincerity.

“C’mon, my dad isn’t that scary,” you trailed.

“I-I don’t think he likes me very much,” Eli said quietly.

“He does,” you straightened up. “Don’t worry about my dad guys, you’ve known him for ten years,” you stated.

You watched as the boys avoided your gaze, the sound of the cafeteria surrounded you when they both fell silent. Leaning back in your seat, you wondered why they were bringing this up now.

Like he read your mind, Demetri spoke up, “I’m just pointing out an observation I’ve noticed for the last few years. The older we get, the more of a threat your dad thinks we are,” he explained. “Guess it’s the raging teenage hormones!” he gestured with his hands, joking at the end.

Eli’s lips spread out into a smirk.

Relaxing, you shook your head at the way your best friend acted, even though you found the joke to be funny.

For the next few minutes, Eli went on to explain limits to you. You were about to ask a question when a new presence stopped you.

“Hey, can I sit here?”

You all turned your attention to a kid with dark hair and brown eyes, a tray in his hand as he gestured at the empty seat next to Eli.

You were about to welcome him until Demitri beat you to it.

“Check back next semester as you can see we’re entirely booked,” he said sarcastically but the new kid didn’t catch it.

With a sigh and a roll of his eyes, he was about to walk away.

“He’s kidding, you can sit,” you gestured to the empty seat. “I’m Y/N, that’s Demitri and Eli,” you introduced.

“Miguel,” he nodded.

Just then, Yasmine and her entourage walked passed, causing Miguel to go into a trance.

You frowned at his reaction. You hated that just cause they were pretty, it forgave all the terrible things they’ve done to your friends and you.

“You’re just torturing yourself,” Demetri warned. “They’re the rich girls”.

“Do you talk to them or…?” Miguel asked.

“Yeah, all the time,” Demetri feigned a smirk. “We hang out after school, make out,” he shrugged. “Eli is homecoming king, and gets laid more than anyone”.

You rolled your lips together, glancing at your lap.

“You pretty much signed away all hopes of losing your virginity before college the moment you sat at this table,” he frowned.

Comments like that reminded you that boys will be boys. In the sense that virginity is still frowned upon. The societal pressure to lose it before a certain age disgusted you.

What happened to not conforming to society's rules?

“Oh, great, Yasmine is looking at us,” Eli narrowed in on himself, his voice pulling you out of your thoughts. “Probably making fun of me”.

“I wouldn’t assume that,” you reassured. “She’s always going to have that nasty look on her face,” you grimaced.

Then you made eye contact with her.

She whispered something to Moon, causing both of them to burst out laughing.

You figured she was making fun of you again, calling you a slut or whatever. Dropping your gaze to your food, you checked your phone for the time.

“I gotta go, it was nice meeting you,” you smiled towards Miguel as you got up.

“What about your homework?” Eli asked.

“I got limits now,” you attempted to reassure but your composure fell when you accidentally looked Yasmine’s way. “Besides I have to get my sketch done before class,” you hoisted your bag over your shoulder.

Art was your passion. Since you could talk, you could draw. Your best friends might’ve been computer nerds, but you? You were an artistic geek.

Still, as talented as you were, Yasmine and Moon used that area of your life to make fun of you. Whether it was a silly doodle you drew during class or an actual piece you worked your ass off for class.

They tried to diminish your spirit with your art, but thankfully you haven’t lost it yet.

Shaking your head to brush the thoughts away, you gulped down the lump in your throat and managed to make your way down the hall to your art class twenty minutes early.

While you were gone from the lunchroom, the conversation at the table shifted, focusing on you.

“Do you like her or something?” Miguel asked Eli.

The awkward boy stilled at the newcomer’s question, opting to fidget with his fingers while staring at his tray. He didn’t think he was being obvious, the only other person who knew of his infatuation with you was Demetri.

“He’s been in love with her since they met in kindergarten, her too but they’re too scared to admit it,” Demetri answered for him. “I think they’ll get married before either of them admit they do like each other,”.

It was true.

You liked Eli and Eli liked you.

The moment you laid eyes on him on the playground, that was it for the two of you. But both of you are socially awkward, insecure people…neither of you had the guts to tell each other how you truly feel.

Leaving Demetri to stand and watch at the mutual pining unwind for the last ten years.

“I’m not in love with her,” Eli defended. “Besides, she wouldn’t ever like someone like me,” he folded in on himself.

“You won’t know if you never strike first,” Miguel tried to reason.

“Good luck with getting Eli to do that,” Demerit said.

Eli sighed, keeping his gaze down. As much as he wanted to argue, he knew deep down that his friend was right.

“Keep this door open,” your dad barked quickly followed by your mother scolding him.

The door had been half-way opened, or half-way closed, when he walked past. He decided it wasn’t to his standards so he made sure the door was wide, banging it against the adjacent wall.

“Sorry,” you said, not looking up from your notebook.

You were sitting in your room, Eli helping you study for your Clac quiz tomorrow. It was a routine for the two of you, hanging out after school and doing homework. Quality time well spent and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Sometimes Demetri would join but he decided to play Dungeon Lord after school today. Part of you was happy to hear he wouldn’t be joining.

Especially when that meant you spent more time with Eli. Meaning there would be more brief moments where your shoulders or knees would brush. Which would send butterflies straight to your tummy.

“Miguel seems nice,” Eli shrugged, placing his pen down. “He mentioned something about karate, he wants all of us to join,” he smiled lightly.

“Really?” you smirked. “What did Demetri say to that?” you laughed, knowing he had some highlighted opinions about it.

“Wasn’t on board, but I don’t know,” he glanced down. “Maybe it could be fun,” he said.

“If you want to,” you passed him a smile. “It’d be nice to see you kick Kyler’s ass for once,” you sighed, glancing at the problem in your book.

You missed the way he frowned but he continued, “You should join too,”.

“Me?” your eyes widened and you glanced up to meet his gaze.

“Yeah,” he cracked a grin. One that was big and genuine, something that only happened in front of you or Demetri. “You’d be great at kicking ass too,” he reasoned.

“In my dreams,” you huffed out a laugh. “I can barely do a push-up,” you shook your head.

“Maybe just think about it,” he suggested.

“Okay, I will,” you nodded. “So, how am I doing?” you licked your lips.

You pushed your notebook between the two of you.

Both of you leaned in, your shoulders brushing against each other. Anytime you inhaled, you smelled him.

He smelled nice.

“You’re doing good, you just need to remember that an open circle means the limit exists but not in the function,” he pointed at the problem you got wrong.

“Stupid circles,” you huffed out a breath, running a hand over your hair. “Thanks again, Eli,” you pressed your lips into a soft smile.

“You’re going to do great, okay?” he nudged his elbow with yours.

“Okay,” you nodded, allowing yourself to believe.

You went over the material for a few minutes, your mind getting lost in all things limits and functions.

Unbestowent to you though, Eli was watching you.

He watched the way your nose would scrunch when you didn’t understand what you read the first time around. The way your lashes fluttered as you scanned the page. The way you would lick your lips in concentration. The way you would crack your knuckles when they got too stiff.

He was utterly in love with you.

Being friends for ten years, you’d reach that point without even dating. Even if it was just puppy love, he knew one thing for sure—he likes you, a lot.

He doubted himself when he thought about what Demetri said. And when he thought about the comment Kyler made earlier of him being a loser. He had come home crying, knowing he was never going to get a girlfriend because of the way he looked. But then his mind thought to Miguel.

Maybe he could be wrong, maybe he could get a girlfriend. Maybe it could be you.

Without second-guessing any further, he opened his mouth.

“Hey, Y/N?” he cleared his throat.

“Yeah?” you reached your gaze to his, your head resting in your palm.

“I like you,” he confessed, face going pale at the fact that he actually said that to you.

Your eyes went wide, face blank as you took in his words. You didn’t say anything for a few moments, just staring at your best friend.

“I-you know, never mind, I shouldn’t have said anything,” he felt embarrassed, shaking his head as he went back to his homework.

“Wait!” you reached out and touched his arm. “I like you too,” you gulped, a smile creeping up on your face.

“Really?” he seemed taken aback.

You nodded enthusiastically.

The two of you gazed at each other for what felt like a few minutes until you bent over in giggles, still in disbelief.

“I’m glad you told me,” you reached for his hand on your desk, squeezing it.

“Me too,” he squeezed it back.

You felt your cheeks heat up before you turned back to your work.

The rest of the night was spent with the two of you doing work, holding hands.

The next day at school, Eli was sitting with Demetri and Miguel.

Having just told the news about you and him, he was feeling a little proud of himself that he actually did it.

And more relieved that you actually reciprocate his feelings.

“I was right, wasn’t I?” Demetri raised a brow.

Eli smiled, his cheeks turning pink while Miguel laughed.

“I’m glad someone took my advice, now you see my Sensei is legit,” Miguel pointed out.

Eli nodded, a small smile on his face.

“I’m gonna need more evidence to back it up,” Demerit crossed his arms over his chest. “This,” he gestured to Eli, “has been a work in progress for ten years, your words of encouragement just gave him enough push,” he scoffed.

About to respond, Eli was stopped by the smell of your perfume. He turned his head to the left just in time to greet you as you approached the table.

“Hi, guys,” you greeted, taking your seat next to Eli. “Hi, Eli,” your cheeks warmed up.

“Hi, Y/N,” his eyes beamed with admiration. “You look nice,” he blushed, glancing over the pretty green sundress you wore today, but his gaze circled back to your face.

“Thanks,” you glanced down, running a hand over the skirt. “It’s been in my closet for a while, I figured it’d be happy to see the light of day,” you shrugged, unaware he wasn’t talking about the dress.

“You should wear it more often,” Eli commented.

Demetri and Miguel sent each other a knowing look before Miguel decided to cut the awkward lovey-dovey talk.

“So, Y/N, did Eli tell you about joining my karate dojo?”

You focused your gaze on him, the warmth of your cheeks dissolving when your mind was pushed away from Eli. “Uh, yeah,” you smiled. “I thought about it, but I don’t know if I want to do something like that. I need my hands for my art, I don’t want them beaten and bruised,” you stifled a laugh.

Miguel nodded in understanding. “Thanks for thinking about it, Y/N,” he pressed his lips in a smile.

“No problem. Anyway, do you want to join us for movie night this Friday?” you extended your invitation to him. “You can pick the movie,” you offered.

“Sure, I’d like that,” he grinned.

“Awesome”.

Friday came around and you were all seated on your couch in the living room watching Spider-Man.

You actually enjoyed the pick, especially watching the nerdy boy become the hero. One who reminded you a lot of the boy sitting right next to you.

Miguel was on the recliner, Demetri on the other end of the couch, and Eli in the middle with you on the other side. Except, Eli was scooted closer to you, only a bowl of popcorn separating the two of you.

Your hands happened to brush a lot when you’d reach for the popcorn. Though, you didn’t mind.

You had gotten to the part where Peter Parker discovered his powers, a glass in your hand as you had come back from refilling your drink.

“That’s a cool painting,” Miguel noticed the piece of art framed by the TV.

It was an oceanscape of the beach.

“Y/N painted it,” Eli stated.

“No kidding,” Miguel said in amazement, standing up to study it. “You’re really talented, Y/N,” he smiled over to you.

“Thanks, that was my first one so my parents framed it,” you shyly said.

“You should see her sketchbook, it’s filled with the most awesome things,” Eli smiled.

You glanced at him, sending him a thankful look.

“Can I see?” Miguel’s eyes beamed. “My yaya loves paintings, I’d love to show her your work,” he said.

“Yeah, I’ll grab some that you could take pictures of,” you stood up, cheeks on fire.

It wasn’t often that you got praised for your art, mainly from your parents or your friends. So this was new. But you took the pleasure from it nonetheless.

Heading to your room, you grabbed a few of your favorite paintings before you went to your bag in search of your sketchbook, only you couldn’t find it.

As panic erupted, you thought back to the last time you saw it. You had it in art class and then you went to P.E. You could’ve sworn you had it then, but you guessed you were wrong.

“I can’t find my sketchbook,” you gulped, walking back to the living room.

“Maybe you left it in your locker or someone found it and took it to the lost and found,” Miguel offered, gesturing with his hands.

“Yeah, it’ll turn up,” Demetri reassured. “I don’t think anyone would have wanted to steal it,” he shrugged.

“We’ll help you find it on Monday,” Eli said, reaching for your hand.

“Thanks, guys,” you blew out your breath.

You were glad you had them and you really hoped your sketchbook turned up.

Part of you didn’t want to think about it, but you were worried about who had it if they did. And it only traced back to two girls.

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#eli moskowitz x reader #hawk x reader #eli moskowitz #eli moskowitz imagine #cobra kai

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