#like literally no one knows i even write my friends just think i’m god tier at ra and argumentative essays and that’s it lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tirednotflirting · 1 year

Text

I posted 3,022 times in 2022

303 posts created (10%)

2,719 posts reblogged (90%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@caramelcalum

@daydadahlias

@burstingsunrise

@calumsash

@pxrxmoore

I tagged 2,615 of my posts in 2022

Only 13% of my posts had no tags

#l - 335 posts

#5sos - 205 posts

#a - 168 posts

#c - 126 posts

#h - 97 posts

#m - 68 posts

#cake - 60 posts

#tmh22 - 53 posts

#lashton - 30 posts

#cashton - 30 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#y’all ever have something you reference all the time around people you only ever remember have no idea what you’re talking about until after

My Top Posts in 2022:

hi look at him

thank you

46 notes - Posted December 3, 2022

a fic rec list that quite literally no one asked for

I’ve felt incredibly uninspired lately with fic. It’s a shit feeling. I may just be done writing. TBD. But as I’ve been sitting around trying to determine my feelings on fic, I’ve found myself thinking a lot about how I read fic. I’ve been reading it for awhile. I like to think that even in the 5SOS space, I’ve read a really good variety of things. So I wanted to make note of the fics that come to mind when I think of fics that have inspired me/made me feel something/are just really good. This probably will not be very organized and I apologize for that now.

I’ve been very VERY lucky to get to know a few of the folks whose works I mention here. I feel so grateful to have had even small glimpses into your creative processes. Just before the world Stopped a couple years ago, I was shuffling toward a mindset of writing off fan fiction as a thing of my younger years and I’m thankful that so many people metaphorically hit me over the head with their incredible works.

there’s some 1D, 5SOS, Shawn Mendes, and also solo 1D boys in here. i think a lot of them are at least a touch nsfw at points but not all of them? yeah. i think everything that is is noted of on the pages they link to? certainly not an exhaustive list of my favorites but these were the ones on my mind today.

Okay, in probably a really strange, completely non-linear order, here we go.

sugar on the asphalt by @justanchorandhope

I genuinely cannot even begin to describe the love in my heart for this fic. this is the fic (and writer tbh) that kept me around on tumblr in 2013 and is the perfect example of everything i loved about 1D fic back in the day. an OC to die for, the perfect dash of so many different tropes, CUPCAKES, southern charm, it has it all. just the sweetest cast of characters. i cannot believe i was 15 when this fic was first posted and now i’m 24 and re-reading this still feels like a curling up with a cup of tea at the end of a long day.

okay basically everything written by @harryandmolly but specifically the following:

like the back of my hand + fear and loathing in mandeville canyon

okay so fun fact i was so thrown off the first time i read the first fic listed there (the second one listed is a sorta AU of the first one taking place in early pandemic/lockdown times btw) bc the OC’s bff uses the exact same nickname i used in high school. okay but Lilly is a GOD TIER OC. i love a story that takes place over a really long period of time + really shows the progression of a relationship. also super random but as a woman in my mid-20s with crazy unrealistic dreams of living in a big gorgeous house with all my friends, the descriptions of the house Lilly lives in make my heart sing. for a story that takes place in a totally normal version of the world, the world building (maybe the wrong term here idk) in this is so great.

i could write it better than you ever felt it

three words: warped tour au. no but seriously there’s this blanket of nostalgia over this whole fic bc of the setting that is so fucking fun (she says having never gone to warped tour but shhhhh). another bright and brilliant OC, SO many lovable side characters, really driving plot. reading this feels like summer in all the best ways. (+ a brilliant sequel of sorts.) perfectly captures silly punk boys + hayley williams is there just being the goddess that she is. my introduction to jasey rae lol. so many things and all of them so great.

the emancipation of ginny

got momentarily distracted reading the teaser sorry i’m back now. ginny: bad ass and gorgeous business woman lady navigating being the assistant for an international pop star who is also her ex. andrew gertler is so stressed the whole time. i like a story that jumps around in time and this one does it in such a unique way. the writing in this is STUNNING, i feel like i am in every scene feeling the misty fog in london and the sun in my eyes on a summer festival tour. a Masterpiece imo. also the niall in this is wonderful in all the ways he can be + taylor swift shows up for a minute.

perfect teeth by @stylesmoothie

why yes i am in fact linking you to MIBBA bc 1DFF was the only other place to really find this i think rip to our fallen hero and what a throwback adlskfjdsl. i am NOT joking when i say that i literally cried when people started reblogging around the final update for this a few years back bc it had been like 5 years since this fic was updated. this fic holds such a special place in heart (as so many 1D fics from this era do). ezra is a brilliant OC and her story is SO GREAT. something i loved about ~this era~ of 1D fic was how expansive the backstories for the OCs were and ezra’s especially just made me fall in love with her. i remember that reading the conclusion to this story (so many years after starting it) felt like this beautiful sense of closure. i had very few constants in my later teenage years but stories like this one were one of them. love love love this story.

(took a brief pause so anna and i could hunt down an old zayn fic from back in the day slkdfjlds leesh came to our rescue bless her)

nom de plume by @stylesprimes

another fic that truly feels like it just? defined an era of my life???? (just had to do some internet wizardry to verify this was a 2014 fic lol) another OC with just the most sick backstory and story told throughout the fic. in this era of fic i was a HUGE fan of the harry styles london indie crew kinda fic. could not tell you why aside from how fucking cool i thought alexa chung was. you really get to see everyone make mistakes and grow in this story which i really admire from both a reader and a writer standpoint. like that’s not easy to do sdlfkjdsl. i love all the twists and turns and it’s a story i love returning to every once in awhile. cecilia’s experiences in this are so so unique and i’ve never really read anything quite like this story. the dynamic between the characters and just the overall vibe of ndp has always been so novel. i love it.

scene 14 by @daydadahlias

this FIC OH MY GOD. so backstory: i feel like i was the last person to read jess fic esp this one like. i was so intimidated by the fact that everyone had already read this and i had all of this knowledge of the vibe and how much everyone loved this that reading this almost felt like being introduced to a friend of a friend, ya know? this fic is Stunning. like i didn’t think it would be possible to be so impressed by college au world building at this point in my life (i’ve been reading college AUs for like. literally over a decade) but this little world that jess created was SO immersive. these characters were all so bright and i loved and cared for each and every one of them despite how many there were. i laughed, i cried. reading this reminded me why i love fan fiction and i feel so SO grateful to be in this fic space at the same time as jess.

love would burn this city down for you by @calumcest

helen has shared so many amazing stories but this one is always going to be my favorite. there’s so much soul and heart and love in this short little piece. i barely have the words for it. i started writing myself bc i felt inspired by the space that helen was helping to create a couple years ago and it’s pieces like this that i think had a lot of influence on the style i would try to adopt in certain ways. she’s so great at showing love in the little, quiet ways. pieces like this one feel like a secret and i’m so thankful i get to be in on it.

another night of takeout by @roselirry

lol i’ve had the second part of this bookmarked on my computer for MANY years and just realized there was a third part to it i had never read. this is a niall fic, little slices of three different days from the perspective of Vee, niall’s assistant in a solo era world. reminds me of a lot of the reasons i love the emancipation of ginny. one of my favorite tropes, a bit of that ‘omg they’re so in love but just refuse to really fully acknowledge it’ kinda situation. only three little bits in this but through the bits of background you get such a FULL story (despite the fact that it’s technically not finished i think?). SUCH a comfort read, i’ve read this so many times that it feels like a cozy, worn cardigan. (also i’ve historically been SUPER picky with my niall fic and this one has really stood the test of time for me)

all the things yet to come by soysauceharry

so i’ve never been a big self insert fic kinda girl. i think i just started out with OC fic so it was just this foreign thing to me for so long. i’m also a very big character person so when a character is really vague for the purpose to trying to be easy to fit a variety of looks and/or personalities into, i struggle to find enjoyment in it at times. but jesus christ, this story is cool. for me, reading this story gives the vibe of like a dream where you’re watching yourself do something? so despite the fact that it’s written in the second person, i don’t feel like i’m watching the story from the eyes of the OC. also despite all of the ‘you’s i just have never read this as a true self insert. i have an MC in my head that is very much a unique character. MC is a graduate psych student, Harry is her graduate advisor for a min and then later just a colleague. follows MC through her graduate studies. the setting and the story are just so pretty and lifelike. i think i read this for the first time in the winter while i was still in school which added a lot to the vibe. i return to this whenever i want cozier vibes.

If you dance with me darling, if you take me home… Will we talk in the morning? by @kaleidoscopeminds

i love a meg fic for so so many reasons. i love this one especially bc the tone of it to me feels like how you tell the story of a fun night out. it feels fun and silly like the stories you tell the night after the night out about all the wild shit you did in the early hours of that same day. i’ve always been very fond of this fic because meg posted it when i was feeling very VERY down about the world and it just made me smile. this fic feels like laughs after shots idk how to describe it just good fun. she is the cake QUEEN but i always found so much inspo in her earlier lashton pieces. they remind me of all the good things about summer 2020. i’m glad they can still take me back to those times of first getting to know some of the folks that i just love so dearly now (baggy salt forever <3)

sail the wildest stretch by @beautifulletdownfics

See the full post

47 notes - Posted February 19, 2022

hi i would like to discuss

thank you

119 notes - Posted September 26, 2022

5sos playing the same fest as green day, good charlotte, and blink???? can someone check on those boys omg???

124 notes - Posted October 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

i can’t believe ashton is the cutest dude on the planet and we just have to deal w that

227 notes - Posted October 23, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #my year in review #truly my top tag being my luke tag is hilarious #and by like…a lot alsjdldj

7 notes · View notes

sparklepirate · 11 months

Text

Alright, final thoughts on To Sleep In A Sea Of Stars

- Fucked me UP. Had me FEELING things. Some top tier sci-fi right there. Brava.

- It usually takes me a long time/several rereads to get attached to protagonists, but Kira Navárez was very instantly compelling in a way that I haven’t really experienced before, not even with Mr. Eragon Shadeslayer. She is, in fact, my girl. I think the two main things that make me like her so much is her grief and relationship with Alan, and her career. I’ll talk about Alan in a bit, but I find it so nice that, even in her moments of high stress and/or intense heroics she always stops to take a minute and look at all of these alien and be like “God I wish I had the time to sit here and study this. This is so fascinating.” Like... Girl same. If I were a space biologist I would be losing my MIND over all this.

- I bitched and moaned about her relationship with Falconi, but actually having seen the whole thing now I’m more fine with it. See, I was worried that this new fling with Falconi was going to crowd out Kira’s grief, and Falconi was going to act as basically the obligatory replacement love interest, and Alan was going to be forgotten, but that didn’t happen. Kira and Falconi almost read more as friends with benefits than a true romance, and Kira never once even considered him as a substitute for the love of her life. Falconi was a comfort to her, and them sleeping together was a very positive experience, and either or both of them could potentially have some sort of romantic feelings towards each other, but ultimately they are only friends. Kira’s last thought before she “died” was of Alan. I am relieved that Kira’s grief and romantic interests were treated with the care and thoughtfulness that they were, as so many authors before would have ruined it. (Side note, this also makes me a little less nervous for how Murtagh and Nasuada’s relationship might potentially be handled in the upcoming book.)

- I’ve never been one to cry over character death before. It’s always other things that get me to cry, and deaths I can usually take in stride, but Alan’s death in the beginning was IMPACTFUL. I don’t think I shed actual tears, but I was DISTRAUGHT. Kira’s grief was so real, and I felt her loss so palpably. Incredibly well written. And just the themes of guilt and acceptance, and Kira finally being able to defeat The Maw by forgiving herself... Chef’s kiss.

- On that note, I’m still reeling from the entire goddamn existential crisis I had after finishing. Kira didn’t DIE die, but I was on the verge of tears throughout the entirety of the last little bit. It felt like a death in some ways, and a rebirth in others, and it just made me think about what it means to be human, and what it means to be alive, and I’m. Not okay.

- Gregorovich!!!! Literally the whole sequence of him short circuiting, and Kira talking to him, and then trying to fix him with the Seed is SO GOOD. Particularly talking to him through the headset, and all of the different font sizes and visual indications of glitches was iconic. It’s a very visceral sort of horror that appeals to me. It’s the perfect meld between technological malfunction, and being unable to control losing your mind that is PEAK and that scene will live in my head rent free for forever.

- Also Trig!!! I love all of the crew of the Wallfish, but Greg and Trig are for sure my favorites. I was definitely sad to see Trig taken out of commission for the majority of the book, but I am PSYCHED to see him alive at the end and I NEED the sequel to talk about him and the Staff of Green!!!

- I went to see Paolini last night for his Fractal Noise tour, and he kept (jokingly) bemoaning the fact that “WHY am I writing about SPACESHIPS? I know why you’re all here!” And like, while yes obviously the Inheritance Cycle holds a very special place in my heart, you are writing about spaceships because they are COOL and you DESERVE to write about what you like!!! And you’re good at it too!! Not that he’s ever going to read this, but just because your space books aren’t as popular as your 2 decade long reign over the land of high fantasy doesn’t mean they aren’t good, or that they weren’t worth writing! As a writer or artist of any kind, we owe it to ourselves to create for the love of it, and the right people will resonate with our work. And you know what? Casaba-Howitzers ARE really cool!!

- ... Okay yes I DID use my time getting my book signed to ask him a question about Murtagh but that doesn’t make my previous sentiment any less genuine.

- Oh also the fight scene with Ctein was also god tier.

Anyways, back to Brisingr shortly!

#ashna reads tsiasos #to sleep in a sea of stars #tsiasos #kira navárez #christopher paolini

6 notes · View notes

memurfevur-archive · 1 year

Text

Hi im talking about my multiverse lore

actually my multiverse worldbuild isnt that special its literally just combining how Marvel and DC do it especially Marvel

i even made!! a picture of it once trying to explain the layout. no i will not share cuz it needs tidying

essentially there are different tiered “planes” of existence in my lore, which i call “rings.” each ring is home to a whole new dimension, a whole new world, and able to influence the ring that exists under them. so in my lore, there’s the Messiah-world ring called Illither, and the laws of that plane of existence is entirely different from the plane of existence that Earth/Alternia/AUs/etc are on --which is called the Core. Illither is full of god-like parasites called Messiahs, and all these other weird should-be-impossible creatures and stuff. It is also home to the dimensions of Time, Space, and the Reversal (stealing from Pokemon here tbh). Illither is where Ragana, Zillyhoo (now Zillycrow), and Watch’r are from, and where Arceel was sculpted.

Illither vibrates at a higher frequency than The Core, thus allowed them to see the Core, have access to it, and influence it vaguely. They cannot, however, have access to the rings of existence that vibrate at a frequency FASTER than their own. They can only access rings if it vibrates at the same frequency or below.

I should explain what I mean by vibrating: Why are they vibrating? Because everything is made up of atoms and strings-- this is going more into string theory, but just know that everything has smaller units that make up bigger things, and that those smaller units are vibrating. And based on these vibrations, you can interact with the world around you provided they share a similar vibrational frequency. Anything that is too slow or too fast is often not perceived, especially if you live in the Core which has the lowest frequency out of all of its multiverse.

Anyway, then above Illither is what I’m calling the Outer Ring, and this is the plane of existence that Narrators exist on. They can see and narrate what is happening on the worlds that exist below them, and of the timelines that they can see or have access to. Now, I do headcanon that Narrators themselves cannot WRITE the narrative, and true to their name can only describe the events going on. This is just a Them thing, and is not universal throughout the Outer Ring. They may or may not work closely with an Author, something that I’ll explain shortly. The Core and Illither do not perceive this ring of existence --usually-- because the Outer Ring vibrates at a frequency that is faster than both planes. Characters like Dharmast live here.

And then above the Outer Ring is the 4th Wall where Authors and Audience live and where thoughts, drafts, and concepts take shape.

You, dear Tumblr, live in the 4th Wall. We the muns are the Authors, and the people who interact with the Authors are known as the Audience (essentially, anon asks and the like are considered Audience). So, for example, this would be where *I* live, if I were to self insert myself in the same way Hussie did Homestuck. Authors (and some Audience) can influence ANYTHING from any of the rings below them because WE the Authors are writing the story. Authors also sometimes work with Narrators to make and tell the story, but not all the time! If you have a sona representing you that interacts with your narrators, congratulations, you/that sona are an Author in my lore.

There may be more rings of existence!! But if there are I do not have anything conceptualized yet. The ones I’ve described are the base canon ones LOL

I think it’s kind of fun feeling like I’m part of the story, or allowing my friends themselves to be part of it, or making irl part of the story, just because I can and it makes me feel big brained LOL

#muntalks #lore #Y'ra multiverse

3 notes · View notes

familiar-wandering-fey · 10 months

Text

baked po-tay-toes

one of the god-tier foods on the planet; fluffy, customizable, fairly easy/low-effort but can be given fancier jackets and warm and comforting.

I think that describes my core pretty well. A human-sized hobbit. I like sci-fi and fantasy of most types. I use my potato powers to play games of all kinds but I do have many favorite franchises and then just a lot of random things I’ve tried with friends (my avatar is a screencap from the Crusader Kings III loading screen that makes me laugh the most, the aesthetic is very, “I’ve had enough of your shit Eustace, come and say that to my face”). Keep reading for the deep dive, no promises on rambling.

Call me Ashlynn, or Ash, I call myself Ash a lot. She/her/they, a millenial verging on that elder line, bi-pan romantic, agender femme comfortable (femme euphoria is *chef’s kiss*), demisexual riding my starship through the internet voids. 99.99% autist (self-dx, always trying to keep learning to make sure the brain gremlins stay somewhat contained *lolsob*at the even more likely audhd combo and the constant brainfight between Order and ~*chaos*~). Is that why we all love to hyperfocus on mythology? The eternal struggle between divine order and chaos?

Even now I’m reigning in the urge to get side-tracked when this was supposed to be straight-forward, a little fun ‘hello’ and now I want to write ten-thousand essays all at once. It’s why I tend to lurk (bringing it back). I’ve been on Tumblr a long-time and quit during the great banning of tiddies protest in whatever 20-year that was. I wasn’t super involved anyway. This was once a blog where I role-played as Marius from AR’s Vampire Chronicle’s. That used to be a huge pass-time of mine actually, text-based RPG’s on forums (anyone remember Avidgamers/Acornrack? That’s like the real deep cuts of forum-based rpg-ing and it was so cute and customizable in an early internet Myspace sort of way. I would say it’s collapse definitely taught me some deep lessons about retaining data/copies because it was literally there one day and gone the next with zero warning and just so many beautiful things and connections lost to the void). I really sympathize with (some) Twitter users and (most) Reddit users that either have already had that happen or are precariously on the verge of having that happen. Here’s hoping that Tumblr isn’t on the verge of tripping right when I was getting back to it.

I decided just to private the RPG posts, there aren’t that many it wasn’t really my main Tumblr blog at the time of the great logging out. The trend of Tumblr RPing was fun though, I don’t know if that’s still a thing people do actively or seek out but I guess I’ll find out. I think that’s enough to start, see ya’ out there.

#baked potatoes #musings of the fey wyld

0 notes

automaticdata · 2 years

Text

Okay so I started reading UnOrdinary the other day and I blitzed through it and I just

kind of want to chronicle all the ways Arlo is a dumbass in the beginning of the webcomic.

Spoilers below the cut.

(note to anyone who is reading this who is not familiar with the webcomic: “cripple” is used as a term in the webcomic to indicate someone with no powers (while most people do have powers). It feels weird to call someone a cripple while writing this because it feels ableist af, but I don’t know what other word to use, because that’s the one the webcomic uses.)

-Finds out Seraphina has a low-tier friend and decides it’s his fault she doesn’t want to be Queen anymore

-Immediately goes “a low-tier isn’t scared and submissive? SUSPICIOUS”

-also doesn’t realize that the default for low-tiers being scared and submissive is a FUCKING PROBLEM

-has Isen look into John’s past

-when Isen finds evidence of ~lies~ immediately decides this is enough to enact his nefarious plan

--even though Isen says “hey do you want me to keep digging

---seriously I cannot stress enough that he was like “nah the fact he’s lying is enough for me, no need to consider WHY he might be lying even though his lie makes things UNQUESTIONABLY WORSE for him than what I suspect the truth is”

----like seriously when Isen keeps digging anyway it doesn’t take him long to find out that there are VERY GOOD REASONS NOT TO PISS OFF JOHN

-he then decides to let the corrupt af system that he believes is Right and Just wear John down. Like. If your system is so good why do you think it will make John miserable

--even if you factor in that Seraphina was protecting him, like, they already know from the info they’ve gathered so far that 1) John isn’t afraid of high-tiers, even when Seraphina is not around, and 2) that he used to look a lot more defiant/confident, and that was before he met Seraphina

-gets Seraphina suspended so she can’t protect him

-when that doesn’t work, has people break his phone so he can’t call Seraphina, because god forbid he be happy

--like seriously if you think the issue is that Seraphina protecting a low-tier is ~disrupting the system~ it shouldn’t matter that they text and talk because she is literally an entire plane ride away

-when the lack of contact from Seraphina and the constant attacks start to grind John down and he slips up and shows his hand, insteda of going “okay confirmation that he has powers, let’s see if the school/authorities/whatever knows this” he’s like “nah, I’m gonna make him show me what they are and put him in his place”

-gets John to trust him so he can lure John into an ambush

--is like “mm yes I have no idea what this guy’s power is but I’m gonna drag him and my buddies to the middle of nowhere so no one can come to help him. Nevermind that me and my buddies are ALSO in the middle of nowhere and no one would be able to help US if something goes wrong.”

---Overconfidence problem 1: He thinks John is weak enough that his cronies can take care of him. Doesn’t ask himself what a weak low- or mid-tier would have to gain from pretending to be a cripple.

---Overconfidence problem 2: He thinks that no one except Seraphina can beat him

---Overconfidence problem 3: He thinks John is well-adjusted enough that he’ll know when to back down, when the reality is that John is a sentient mass of trust issues and self-hatred masquerading as a high school student.

YA DONE FUCKED UP, SON.

-After John hands his ass to him, his unwavering faith in their stupid ass system makes him believe that, despite John all but outright saying that he doesn’t want to be King, that John is the “real” King.

-When John keeps acting like he’s a cripple he gets REALLY UPSET that John isn’t taking his ~responsibilities as king~ seriously and doesn’t stop and think “hmm, why does John keep asking me to DO MY FUCKING JOB AS KING instead of solving these problems himself?”

--Like Arlo ... I get it, you think John is shirking his responsibilities as King. But he doesn’t have the network you do, he doesn’t WANT the responsibility, he TOLD you this. Despite being weaker than him, for a lot of the stuff he asks you for help on, you’re more capable.

-Once John, pushed by Arlo, starts acting out, it takes him half of forever to go “hmmmmmmm maybe I should try to ask his BEST FRIEND if she can help with this”

--like I know Seraphina is going through some shit but like ... Arlo is so fixated on power-levels that he’s like, “welp, all of us are weaker than him, guess we gotta let him rampage” and doesn’t even stop to think “hmmm, a lot of John’s motivation right now seems to be focused on keeping Seraphina safe, MAYBE SHE’S THE BEST PERSON TO KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON”????

---the system is super corrupt and Arlo is just ... evidence about how deep a lot of people’s beliefs about it go. It’s nuts.

-after very firmly telling John that Seraphina being missing is John’s problem to fix and he won’t get any help from Arlo, DOES NOT LET JOHN KNOW HE CHANGED HIS MIND

--proceeds to get VERY UPSET about how John went about trying to find Seraphina

---also doesn’t even seem to connect the fact that John purposefully beat up the INFO GATHERING GUY to get his INFO GATHERING power and the fact that John is LOOKING FOR INFO on where Seraphina is

----”he prioritized his personal grudge against Isen over finding Seraphina” my ass. Arlo, you are SUPPOSED to be smarter than this.

-when John starts climbing the ranks to go after John, he’s just like, “okay my people just need to accept defeat and then he’ll defeat me and then Order Will Be Restored.”

--spoilers: order was not restored

and I just

Arlo is a good character with a good arc but like

he went through a SHITTON of dumbassery to get there.

#unordinary

0 notes

sunnyjenolvr · 2 years

Text

running this account makes me feel like i’m living a double life

#vivitalks #like literally no one knows i even write my friends just think i’m god tier at ra and argumentative essays and that’s it lol

0 notes

ferusaurelius · 2 years

Text

The Tragedy of Israel Hands

A play in three Acts.

Remember how I said I’d write up some Izzy meta? Well here’s the short version. I have a google doc full of 10+ pages of notes and individual scene breakdowns for each episode, but I don’t know if I want to pull all that out and unpack everything with that level of detail just yet.

As a tribute to Con O’Neill, I’m going to stick to the top-level summaries of what I’ve noticed. His acting is brilliant! Go and rewatch OFMD and appreciate his performance, please.

The pure tragedy of Izzy Hands adds an extraordinary level of depth, contrast, and context to the romance between Edward Teach and Stede Bonnet -- beyond mere antagonism! -- that I’m still a bit overcome with inexpressible awe and admiration. I’ll do my best to stick to the outline to encourage you to go back and rewatch the show with a focus on Izzy’s perspective. :)

I also submit to you David’s tweet (pictured here) about the complexities of the relationship between Izzy and Edward and David’s polygon interview (skip to the end) as further motivation to do that rewatch.

I made myself unbearably sad about Izzy as a character while also accepting (and acknowledging) the sheer damage he’s doing to himself and his relationships -- and now you can join me in a hell of Izzy’s own making, too! :D

Warning this is so fucking long you probably should be sitting down.

Act I - Trouble in Izzy’s Pirate Paradise

Basically, Izzy fails to understand that he has never gotten to know Edward as a person beyond what they’ve done to construct the Blackbeard legend together. His assumption that he knows what’s best for Edward and that he has to protect the “legendary Blackbeard” become the seeds of his own undoing. Izzy’s actions directly instigate the series of events that will lead to Edward meeting and falling in love with Stede.

If you look at that process of understanding each other while falling in love as inevitable between Edward and Stede, then Izzy’s attempts to thwart that relationship, as well as his crushing ignorance about the inner life of probably the only person he thinks of as a friend(!), are really devastating.

Con O’Neill plays this really well in scene. I’ll hit the highlights.

01- Pilot (Stede Bonnet & Crew vs. The English Navy)

Izzy doesn’t appear in this episode, so consider the English officers (Wellington and Hornberry) as a kind of stand-in foreshadowing the consequences of hubris. Remember, it’s one of the officers looking through a telescope and calling Stede a “fat woman in a dressing gown” that touches off the series of events that leads to the crew of The Revenge killing Nigel Badminton and taking hostages. As a point of interesting trivia, it’d be the role of a first officer like Izzy to track a ship’s course and prevent it from running aground, as occurs in the very next episode.

02- A Damned Man (...It’s Izzy. Izzy is the Damned Man.)

In a brilliant bit of staging and writing, we ‘meet’ Blackbeard-the-legend before Edward-the-man. Izzy and Edward created Blackbeard together as a practical way of taking prizes with as little resistance as possible because everyone sees the flag and gets terrified. Hint: the motive is fear.

David Jenkins does all of this out in the open because he’s a mad genius like that and we salute him.

Recall also that Izzy’s motivations for approaching The Revenge are purely self-interested. He wants to take advantage of Stede’s misfortune and take those valuable hostages for himself, if possible. I also love the metaphorical implications of Izzy’s undoing being through hostages/damned/condemned men, too! It’s so literal and on-the-nose it’s beautiful.

Anyway, Izzy wastes a perfectly good opportunity to kill Stede Bonnet because as a god-tier duelist he’s too busy playing with his food. He takes so long to put Stede out of his misery that the rest of the crew manages to pull off even an idiotic plan.

Izzy ends up humiliated by Stede in part because he underestimates the Gentleman Pirate and his merry band of imbeciles. Even the best pirates have bad days when they get arrogant. Izzy is totally unprepared to suffer an actual defeat and in even worse news for his dignity, Fang and Ivan were both there and witnessed this and they’re 100% aware of his bullshit.

The end of this episode also gives us a great shot of Izzy, Fang, and Ivan on Blackbeard’s ship. I love the atmosphere with spikes, black rigging, and muted colors. We’ll meet Edward in person -- and so will Stede! -- next episode.

03- A Gentleman Pirate (… who will shortly invade Izzy’s life, while Izzy is the one capturing The Revenge, a study in irony.)

Did you forget that the opening shot of this episode was from Izzy’s perspective while he looks through a telescope at The Revenge? Because I did. Ed appears! Well, kinda. Ed is facing away from the camera and sitting in a chair in the candle-lit darkness, smoking a pipe.

We also get this exchange:

EDWARD: Wait till they make landfall then invite ‘em aboard the ship. And, Izzy, I want you to handle this personally.

IZZY: Oh, Edward, can’t I just send the boys?

EDWARD: Mm-mm. No, I want this done right. After all, he is a gentleman. We want to make a good impression.

IZZY: Stupid fuckin’ Stede Bonnet.

That last line there is the tragic refrain of Izzy Hands. He’s going to think and repeat this so much both internally and out loud, even he doesn’t even realize at this point that it’s the real beginning of the end. He’ll get the picture soon enough, but by then it will be far too late.

And we’ll get to watch him delude himself into believing he ever had a chance at success while further ensuring his own failure. No one sabotages themselves quite like Izzy (thanks Con O’Neill!). Every attempt for Izzy to turn the ship around and restore order through his actions has both immediate and long-term consequences leading to his humiliation, isolation, and defeat.

In this episode, Izzy has done everything in his considerable power to keep this introduction from happening and, in fairness, reveals in the next episode that he’s the one that tracked Stede to the Spanish warship and attacked because Edward directed him to do so.

“Our Prayer” by the Beach Boys plays when Stede and Edward meet. WHAT. This is amazing! Sorry, Izzy, I regret to inform you that Edward and Stede are having a religious experience known only to themselves.

Izzy probably expected Blackbeard to carry on with violence-as-usual after they invade both the Spanish warship and The Revenge as a sort of two-for-one prize. And if Stede weren’t so good at subverting expectations and charming Edward, that’s exactly what would have happened!

Izzy did everything right as a professional and a first mate who is obeying his Captain and still the world is conspiring to thwart him.

David also mentions in his Polygon interview that this episode is the end of the first act. So we’re going to treat it like that.

Act II is where both the love story between Edward and Stede and the contrasting tragedy between Edward and Izzy are both going to play out on-screen and really hit their relative stride (often in the same crucial frames!).

Act II - Izzy Suspects the Obvious Truth About Edward and Stede

No one denies like Izzy Hands, no one lies like Izzy Hands, no one duels and loses and gets thoroughly sidelined like Izzy Hands!

No, I’m not sorry. He brought it on himself in so many ways, partly because he can’t see how much he doesn’t understand about Edward even when Edward explains everything in front of him in very plain language. Izzy isn’t capable of asking the right questions because he already assumes he’s right and has all the right answers. If only Edward could see it, too!

04- Discomfort in A Married State (It’s Stede and Mary but, wait, it’s also … Izzy and Edward.)

Do I even need to tell you how much I adore the scene where Izzy goes along with Edward’s dumb plan of treating Stede like Blackbeard while Stede is wearing Blackbeard’s clothes?

Izzy plays this totally seriously and shoves Stede down in the hold and tries to get him to give orders. Then Edward, dressed like Stede, waits for Lucius to finish counting down and then lays out the situation of what it’s like to be Blackbeard in excruciatingly clear emotional detail.

If you watch Izzy’s face in this scene you’ll realize that Edward has never expressed any of these doubts in front of Izzy.

Izzy is just as taken by surprise as Stede is. It’s BRILLIANT. Then up on deck in the next scene it’s Izzy in the fog at first. He doesn��t believe that Edward has managed to do this. Edward knows Izzy doubted him!

They share a look I still can’t decipher while everyone takes in the thick fog ( @thescreechowl sussed it for me). Izzy is also the one who has to tell Edward that it’s not September 2nd, it’s September the 1st. Izzy is forced to play the harbinger of doom because he’s the only one on the ship who can keep up with Edward’s reasoning.

Is it Izzy’s fault that he has to be the one to tell Edward they’re doomed? No, it’s just what a good first mate does. You’ll notice that Izzy also isn’t around for the lighthouse scene. Everyone else is at the rail celebrating without Izzy.

In the morning, after Edward makes his deal to teach Stede about being a pirate if Stede will teach him about the ways of aristocrats and fine things? Edward has to hide that from Izzy.

Izzy, in a moment of clarity, already knows the game is up and has already packed his bags to leave the ship. He knows that his open doubts from the day before have crossed a line with Edward in a way that even he can understand. And Edward, knowing that he still needs Izzy around if he’s going to follow through on his deal with Stede, tells Izzy what he needs to hear in order to keep him on The Revenge.

Izzy takes this made-up plan of Edward’s as something serious and then admits he was wrong about Ed being a deranged, unstable, erratic “twat.” This could almost count as a reconciliation between the two, except it isn’t because Edward chose to lie to him rather than tell the truth.

At the end, after Izzy tells Ed that “you’ve still got it”? Edward, wearing the clothes of a gentleman and the famous Black Cravat that used to belong to Stede, smiles, says “I know,” and then turns away from Izzy.

When Ed turns around he stops smiling. We the audience can see the change in Ed’s expression, but Izzy is still smiling behind him! Izzy doesn’t see that change from smiling to serious. The contrast between those two expressions? It devastates and chills me because Edward isn’t being honest and neither of them are pursuing a true understanding of the other.

Ed has never been fully himself with Izzy, but Izzy is the one who doesn’t really understand that Ed hasn’t trusted Izzy with everything and has never let his first mate really know who he is past Blackbeard and brilliant sailor.

Izzy, tragic and arrogant fool that he is, truly believes that he understands Edward’s plan and is taking this suggestion to kill Stede and steal his identity at face value.

Ed chooses to lie to Izzy in the hope that he can get what he wants and hedge his bets with that support, even if it means changing the terms of the agreement. Ed baits Izzy with the promise of becoming captain once he’s retired by stealing Stede Bonnet’s identity. Izzy, who probably can’t even imagine Edward not telling him the truth, eats this sham idea up hook, line, and sinker.

It’s the beginning of the end of Blackbeard. It’s also the beginning of Edward starting to figure out who Ed is for real, and Izzy missing or willfully denying those changes.

05- The Best Revenge is Dressing Well (Izzy puts bows in Edward’s beard and skips the party to babysit, except all he does is embarrass himself and sacrifice his dignity and authority by being a dick.)

David Jenkins has confirmed that it’s not Stede who puts those bows in Edward’s beard, it’s Izzy, but that scene got cut for time. Tragic!

Anyway, Izzy is only present to assist Edward or discipline the crew into doing ship chores and to be honest this episode features him losing his grip on reality and authority.

Izzy catches Black Pete and Lucius having sex and confronts them in possibly the weirdest way imaginable. Everyone thinks he’s unhinged. They see nothing wrong with a bit of casual sex and Izzy tries to play that off as a weakness, realizes he’s not getting the shame reaction he expected and has unintentionally revealed himself (Izzy, what the fuck?), and then retaliates by making Lucius remove barnacles from the side of the Revenge.

Fang, Izzy’s long-time subordinate, is also the one who spills the beans about Izzy’s unfortunate nickname as Izzy the Spewer/Dizzy Izzy. I don’t think I have to explain why Izzy wouldn’t appreciate anyone knowing about that one time when Blackbeard left him in charge of the ship during rough seas and he didn’t measure up to the challenge.

When Izzy confronts Lucius with more tasks to do that night and assumes he’ll be able to use his sexual history against him? Yeah, sorry Izzy. That’s not gonna work on this ship.

I’ve never seen a degeneration arc so swift and so complete as what happens to Izzy in this episode. His entire foundation of self-belief and identity is shaken. Who is Izzy without his authority as Blackbeard’s first mate, when everyone knows his weaknesses and no one fears or even respects him?

I don’t know and neither does he. Damn, Izzy, this is a sad pickle you’ve got yourself into.

Also your boss is in love with fuckin’ Stede Bonnet.

(Yes, I’m aware of the innuendo. It started out accidental but now it’s on purpose, because I sent myself into orbit and we’re all in this suffering together.)

06- The Art of Fuckery (Izzy fucks up everything so much worse than Stede.)

Izzy you tragic son of a bitch.

Honestly this is the episode we really begin to watch The Tragedy Of Israel Hands unfold, since Izzy starts to admit to himself what he should have realized from the beginning. He’s the narrator for the opening shot!

Izzy, the most oblivious man alive, deadpanning in the background: “We’ve been almost a fortnight aboard The Revenge, and I’m beginning to suspect that Edward has no intention of ending Stede Bonnet’s life.”

Really, Izzy? It’s been almost a fortnight and you only just now came to that conclusion? I swear if irony could kill, this man would be stone dead. He makes it worse by claiming that “if he didn’t know better” he’d think Edward had been seduced by Stede!

And then we have the whole “run me through” scene with Izzy listening and making all his (for once, correct, but not in the way he thinks) assumptions. It’s funny as fuck that both Fang and Ivan know they’re not killing Stede, despite whatever promises Izzy may think Edward has made to him.

What’s funny about this is that Izzy is simultaneously in denial about the possibility of this relationship and also willing to use it in order to get rid of Stede! Izzy will allow that this seduction may possibly have occurred if acknowledging the attachment will accomplish his goal of ridding himself of fuckin’ Stede Bonnet. The absolute mindfuckery of this strategy is killing me.

This man who knows better? This is the same man who tells Stede, “I know Edward adores you.” That’s so far beyond fucked up as a manipulation tactic that in fairness I don’t have a way to fully unpack it beyond Izzy being simultaneously unable to deny the evidence and also incapable of accepting the probable outcome.

Later, after Stede &. Crew complete their fuckery, Izzy presumably doesn’t understand Edward’s history, what the Kraken represents for him, or that (ouch!) Edward doesn’t consider him a friend.

So when Izzy challenges Stede in order to spare Edward from having to kill the man himself (this would be their usual routine), Izzy won’t be aware that Edward would now rather have worked things out rather than seeing either of them duel. Izzy is carrying out what he sees as his duty.

What really fucks me up here is both that Izzy is trying to spare Edward the pain of killing Stede and that Edward is also letting him go through with it! There’s no world in which Edward successfully puts a stop to this duel or can justify asking Izzy to stand down. They respect(?!) each other too much for that.

When Stede wins the duel on a technicality, further recall and keep in mind that Izzy was the one who doomed himself by suggesting banishment as part of the terms to make it interesting.

The ominous music playing in the background while Izzy rows away from the Revenge is first heard in the “Blackbeard” theme back at the end of Episode 2. Did I mention I really love this show?

I’ve decided to treat this first break between Izzy and Edward as the end of Act II, because ... brace yourself, it’s about to get even worse! :D

Act III - Izzy Betrays Edward’s Trust While Trying to Save Him

Izzy fails to take responsibility for his actions and decides to compound that error by doing increasingly terrible things, including possibly selling out the only friend(?) he thinks he’s ever had ... by rationalizing that it’s for his own good.

Izzy you sick tragic fuck. Edward is never going to forgive you, and you’re going to end up in hell dealing with The Kraken instead of the Blackbeard you knew.

07- This Is Happening (Izzy betrays Edward because Ed betrays Blackbeard, at least in Izzy’s mind.)

Izzy completely fails to admit that Edward likes Stede because Stede wants to get to know him as a person and Izzy can only conceptualize this as insanity. Edward was half-insane before he met Stede and Izzy probably would accept him being half-insane again rather than admit whatever the fuck is going on might be both permanent and, if you’re Ed, preferable to returning to the usual.

We don’t see Izzy until the last minutes of the episode, wherein he is doing his level best to end fuckin’ Stede Bonnet once again because he’s “done something to my boss’s brain.”

Izzy, we regret to inform you that’s called love. We know they’re both idiots, but give them a break, they’ve never been in love before!

08- We Gull Way Back (Izzy fucks up even worse, which is impressive when you consider he doesn’t physically appear in this episode.)

Calico Jack reveals he was sent by Izzy Hands, who he calls a sentimental bastard for wanting to get Edward out before the English showed up.

For Ed, he and Stede are now a “we,” so Ed responds that: “Izzy sold me out.”

Yeah, Izzy, Ed will not be forgiving or forgetting that you only meant to catch Stede in your trap and is definitely taking this personally.

09- Act of Grace (Izzy gets decked by Ed and deserves it.)

Did you catch the part where Chauncey refers to “Captain” Hands? Who has already agreed to commit himself to the King’s service in exchange for Edward’s life? Izzy what has been going on in your head.

IZZY: Edward, I know you’re upset, but it was the only-- [Edward punches him.]

IZZY: Okay ... that’s fair.

Izzy cannot even begin to understand the circumstances of Edward’s fury, but he knows what it looks like when it’s directed at him and he for damn sure accepts Edward’s right to pass judgment on his actions.

Pay really close attention to that speech Izzy makes when he’s trying to convince Edward that Stede’s death is the right thing and the only humane way to end it and then Edward’s reaction to that speech.

Izzy makes every practical argument about how firing squad is the right way for this situation to end and it’s in part his words that push Ed into shouting “Act of Grace.”

Fuck me but the realization in Izzy’s voice when it’s Ed saying the words? Izzy you started this! Yet he still doesn’t realize even when it’s happening that Ed is committed to doing whatever it takes to save Stede Bonnet’s life.

Izzy’s even there when Ed signs the Act of Grace! Of the pirates, it’s just Izzy and Stede there to witness this choice. As it has been since the beginning. Stede sees more of Ed than anyone else ever has, without realizing what it all means. Izzy doesn’t understand what’s changed but probably realizes better than Stede does why it’s happening.

The point is Ed chooses to sign the Act of Grace even when Stede tries to let him off the hook and Izzy has prepared an alternative path. Ed is so thoroughly committed to this path that he’ll accept no substitutes.

Can we talk about how Izzy as Captain Hands portrays himself as “tough and fair” while also eating dinner on the deck of the ship in front of the crew while they’re working? Self-deluded guy thinks Fang and Ivan will back him up and puts himself in the same position as Stede when the crew wanted to mutiny in Episode 1.

Edward told you back in Episode 6 to be careful what you asked your god for, because she might just answer! Coincidence? Haven’t met her.

Can we talk about how surprised Izzy is to see Ed turn up without the beard? How Ed just ignores that the crew is in the middle of a mutiny and is the one who allows Izzy to go right back to his role as first mate? Ed just interrupted Izzy getting the comeuppance for his arrogance.

Let’s move on because thinking about it too much is going to destroy me, and we’ve still got one episode left.

10- Wherever You Go, There You Are (Ed turns into the Kraken and Izzy, because he’s monumentally fucked up, thinks that’s a good thing... for now.)

Izzy has presumably been the only one Ed spoke to until asking for Lucius, because whether Edward likes it or not, he’s used to relying on Izzy to play the role of first mate. Izzy looks so rattled not only by the change in Edward here but also by not knowing what to do beyond ... go back to doing what he’s always done and praying that works out, somehow.

Izzy is sitting up amongst the rest of the crew while Edward is singing and at the end, when he tries to correct them and enforce Captain or Blackbeard as a form of address, it’s Ed who corrects him and says he’d rather be known as Edward from now on.

Izzy’s look of utter shock and surprise gets me every time. Remember, he serves Blackbeard!

Up next: Izzy why are you like this?

Izzy, in speaking plainly, confesses that he should’ve let the English kill Edward and uses what should be a gesture of physical affection as a taunt. Izzy knows Edward well enough to know what will make him doubt himself and his choices to try a different life. Izzy wants Edward to go back to being Blackbeard but he has no fucking idea what he’s just unleashed, instead.

And then we’ve got Leonard Cohen’s “Avalanche” playing while Edward makes his transformation.

Other people have discussed how fucked up the toe scene is (does this show go hard or does it go hard?) and, I’m going to go a bit out on a limb here, and say that Izzy thinks this brutality is what he wants because it’s who Blackbeard should be. Above all else, loyalty to his Captain, no matter who that is or what he has to endure.

And I’m going to stand by the reading that “it’s complicated” because the lyrics overlaying that?

The crumbs of love you offer me / are the crumbs I’ve left behind

The most fucked up reading possible is that these lines are referring to Izzy and Edward’s fucked up relationship. So that’s where I’m going with this.

Fucking Izzy Hands doesn’t fully realize what’s about to hit all of them and is still prepared to be loyal and accept whatever fucked up justice Edward distributes as what he deserves for betraying him in the first place. Did you notice that it’s Izzy who uses Stede’s first name, now?

Or that Izzy has adopted Stede’s language in front of the other crewmembers while he and Ivan are marooning them. That when the crew ask where Jim is, Izzy replies that, “Edward probably wanted to discuss feelings or something?”

That it’s Izzy who sends everyone down into the Kraken’s lair to decide whether or not they’ll be part of his new crew?

That it’s Edward who calls the crew Bonnet’s playthings and no longer uses Stede’s first name?

Izzy’s the one standing next to Edward, holding a gun on Frenchie as he hoists the new flag. No longer is it enough to be loud and a jerk, or to stick to verbal threats until violence is the practical alternative! Think back to the beginning when Izzy just bought Stede’s hostages without getting violent.

Violence is now the rule rather than the exception.

How the fuck far is Izzy going to go when he’s just glad to be serving Blackbeard? How the fuck much is he going to be willing to suffer when violence is the new normal rather than one of many tools to get what they want?

Con O’Neill is a magnificent bastard who managed to act out Izzy Hands’s entire operatic fucked up tragedy in full view of Edward Teach’s love story while in the same frames as Stede Bonnet.

WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK.

#our flag means death meta #izzy hands #ofmd meta #our flag means death #ofmd #our flag means death spoilers #long post #here it is folks ready to be fucked up about how fucked up and tragic Izzy hands is?#because i wasn't and i wrote this #ferus regrets understanding izzy hands and appreciating him #i don't even like him and he's STILL tragic #con o'neill #con o'neill deserves a fucking emmy #WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK #i wrote this and even i don't like it #fucking fuck #ferus izzy meta

479 notes · View notes

kingkatsuki · 3 years

Note

Dont be shy... show us them bakukiri x reader list fics 👁👄👁

I’m trying to remember as many as I can but I know I’ll inevitably end up forgetting some! If there’s any you think I’ve missed send me an ask!💕

Breakthrough - @/trafalgars-temptress & me!

Of course the first fic I’m gonna recommend is my collab with Ry. I still can’t believe it’s got this many notes but it was so much fun to write 😭

If you would take this chance then I’ll take it too - @/strawberry-nugget

Bakugou being a filthy voyeur and I am completely here for it.

Tall Over Ice - @/sweetnsinful

Established relationship krbk letting reader join in on their couple? Hot fucking concept. This is so good!

Greed - @/katsukikitten

Bakugou is so so soooo mean in this and it’s one of my faves.

Untitled - @/lookslikeleese

I am eagerly awaiting a part two to this because villain Bakugou and villain Kirishima just hit different.

Survival Of The Fittest - @/yandere-daydreams

You know how much I love apocalypse AUs but this was something else. 10/10. I could read about this forever.

Period Sex - @/rat-zuki

They’d take care of you so well and not even feel any way about it

Need - @/katsukisprincess-archive

Kirishima getting hit with a sex pollen quirk and Bakugou being the nicest friend ever and letting him fuck his girl.

New Years Eve - @/bakugotrashpanda

I’m sorry I always rec this fic but it just makes me feel so fucking loved and wanted.

Anything, For You - @/cutesuki--bakugou

Drummer Bakugou and Guitarist Kirishima fuck a fan? Need I say more. And Sarah did the hottest art ever to accompany this too.

Oh my god they were roommates - @/makoodles

Probably one of the hottest Krbkreader fics of all time? Probably—

Unnamed Forehead Content - @/secondhand-trash

Cadence literally hates me whenever I rec this but it’s my two fave boys, my fave body part and reader. What’s not to love?

Office Hours - @/queensynderella

This fic is honestly so top tier you’ll need to sit down after.

We’re Here - @/phasmwrites

Nat wrote this for me when I was going through one of the toughest times I’ve had for years and I still cherish and reread it to this day.

Meatiness (spice things up) - @/monst

This fic is so frigging hot with meatball Kirishima👀

Untitled - @/hisoknen

Bakugou letting Kirishima fuck his girlfriend will always be one of the hottest concepts.

I feel like I’m forgetting loads I’m so sorry .-.

#fic recs #red daddy riot

1K notes · View notes

shurisneakers · 3 years

Note

if you're taking ideas for harmless drabbles, i'd love to see one of bucky on one of those dates he mentioned and reader's shenanigans. if you aren't, feel free to ignore this!

a/n: are we really going to let a word limit define what a drabble is? is the vibe and spirit not enough? i say this bc this is 5.7k words long im so sorry. also hey thank you to everyone who piped in with their knowledge of violent geese and how apartment security works in new york!! also thanks to my bby @spiderrpcrker for reading this and telling me to publish this bc i wasnt going to fkjghfkj

warning: swearing, bad luck, dates, frustrated bucky, anxiety, mentions of gore but like only a sentence

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Catch up with the rest of the series here: Harmless Masterlist

Bucky returns only two weeks later. His mission lasted longer than expected and all he wants is to lie down and sleep for forty eight hours straight.

“FRIDAY?” he mumbles, kicking off his shoes. His jacket had already been discarded by his bedroom door when he walked in.

“Yes, Sergeant Barnes?”

“How are ya?” He doesn’t miss a beat in asking, even though he’s exhausted.

“As good as ever. Did you have a successful mission?”

“If by successful you mean one sprained limb instead of two, then yeah.” He wasn’t really cribbing. His ankle was already starting to heal anyway and it was worth the roundhouse kick to a Nazi's face. “Do I have anything scheduled for this weekend?”

“You have a meeting on your calendar scheduled for this Saturday.”

“Could you send a text to Y/N and ask if we can push it to the next day?” His muscles feel sore and God, he could definitely use a hot shower but all of that becomes secondary the minute he feels the sheets under him.

“Would you like me to reschedule the other one as well?”

“What’s that?” He opens one eye in confusion. “There’s another one?”

“It’s on Sunday. You’ve labelled it ‘date’.”

Ah, fuck.

“Would you like me to change it?” FRIDAY never sounds like she’s judging him, which is nice. It also reminds him about how she, as an AI, can’t judge him, which is a rude wake-up call to how he doesn’t have friends.

“No,” his voice is muffled against the pillow, “no, let it be. Where is it again?”

“You’ve only specified diner, Sergeant Barnes.”

Public space, daytime, plenty of escape routes. Good on his less delirious self for selecting a diner.

“Thanks, FRIDAY.” Now that he’s a little more relaxed, he can feel himself slip in and out of consciousness.

“One last thing," her automated voice commands his attention again. "Y/N replied. She says sure and to take care.”

“Yay.” Not even a second later he’s out like a light.

____

“Did you bring me any souvenirs?” Is the first thing he hears as he marches into your lair.

“What could I possibly get you?”

“A postcard, a t-shirt.” You don’t look up from your tinkering.

“Decapitated finger, used bullets,” he continues, “cement blocks.”

“Ew.” You snap the lid shut on the thing you’re working on, spinning around on your chair. "That's not nearly romantic enough."

“That’s all you’re going to get from a Russian underground bunker.” He does a mini jog up the stairs of the platform to where you are.

“Does the finger have a ring at lea- oh hello?” You raise an eyebrow at the sight of him. “You look different.”

He peers down. The outfit was still all black. As always.

“Not your clothes, dummy,” you interrupt, making him look back at you. “Your face. What’d you do?”

He unconsciously raises a hand to his cheek.

“Did you wash your face? Is that it?” you squint at him. “Has it been a few months since the last time?”

“Wow, you’re so funny,” he drawls sarcastically. “Top tier comedian right there.”

“No wait, it’s the beard.” You snap your fingers in realisation, completely ignoring his comment. “You trimmed it.”

“So what if I did?” He leans on your table.

“You going somewhere?” you ask, elastic snapping against your hands as you remove your gloves.

“It’s none of your busi-”

“Hold on a second.” A sly smile begins to make its way onto your face. “Are you going on a date, Bucky Barnes?”

His comeback dies down in his throat. That didn’t take you very long for you to figure out.

“I’m right, aren’t I?” You look smug, to say the least.

“Shut up.” A ray of light glistening distracts him. He traces it to the thing you were working on earlier.

“Where are you guys going?” You cross your arm across your chest, a small smirk on your face.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” It’s a silver box, engraved intricately with swirls that, when he observes carefully, looks like a skull. Wow, terrifying.

“I’m literally asking you.”

“What are those?” He shifts the conversation towards a more productive angle instead.

“Evil in a box and some other stuff.” You shrug offhandedly. “Is it a lunch date or just coffee?”

“Like Pandora’s Box?”

“A discount version, sure,” you confirmed impatiently. “Stop changing the topic, listen to me.”

He tilts his head, waiting for you to continue.

“Do you need a chaperone?” The sincerity in your voice for such a bullshit question has him scoffing.

“Good God- no, I do not need a chaperone. I’m 106 years old, I can go out unsupervised.” He reaches over and plucks the box off your table.

“Sir, you’re a geriatric."

“What are those?” He points to a few ray odd ray guns.

“Minor stuff you don’t have to worry about right now.”

He shakes the box in his hand. “What’s gonna happen if I open this?”

“Very bad things,” you whispered ominously before your volume returns to normal. “How’d you meet this person? Online?”

“She’s Natasha’s friend.” He turns the box over, seeing a small latch at the side. “What bad things?”

“Bad luck and misery. Don’t play with it, it’s dangerous.” You pull the box away from him. “Aw, is it a blind date?”

“Why do you care so much?” he shoots back, tugging the box back towards him.

“Just lookin’ out for you, Bucko,” you huff, adjusting your grip on your device. “Need to keep my favourite senior citizen safe.”

“I have a vibranium arm.” Whose force he could use to grab the box once and for all, but wasn’t. “I think I’ll be fine.”

“What if she has one too, huh? Then what?”

“She doesn’t.” As far as he knows, he’s the only one alive with a metal appendage made out of the strongest metal in the world. That could very well change by tomorrow but he's keeping the title for now.

“But what if she does? I swear to- stop trying to take the box!” You pull a little more forcefully, but he doesn’t relent.

“I want this to get over before this evening.”

“What time’s your date?”

“Why do you care?” He’s sure anyone who saw the dumb tug-of-war you both were playing would just automatically assume he was an absolute manchild, not an Avenger.

“Because.” You don’t explain further. “Tell me what time your date is, you weirdo.”

“Five o’clock, now let go.”

“Fine,” you say, suddenly loosening your grip. Clearly, it doesn't make much of a difference since he isn't struggling to keep his balance from the sudden loss of force.

“Fine.” He clears his throat, straightening up.

You don’t say anything. He doesn’t either.

A putrid smell creeps into his nose, one all too similar to spoiled milk and decaying seaweed. He has to physically stop himself from gagging.

“Have a good day.” You smile and lean far back. Too far. It looks like you're almost going to fall out of the chair.

Through the tears that are threatening to line his eyelids, he looks down at the box whose latch you somehow managed to lift, leaving the box open.

“What the fuck is this?” He coughs, swatting at the air in front of him to clear it.

“I told you; bad luck in a box.”

“You can’t scientifically create bad luck, that’s bullshit.” He tosses the box back onto your table. You watch it slide past you, not making any effort to stop it. “What is it really?”

“I’m not lying.” You pull open a drawer, brandishing a small table fan that you set down beside you. “If you open it, you’re going to have terrible luck for the day.”

He glowers at you when you turn the fan on, forcing the fumes back towards him.

“Besides, that’s all I was doing today.” You kick your feet up. “So you can leave now.”

He doesn’t care if you’re lying about not having anything else to do today. You could burn down the world if you wanted to but he needs to take a stupid shower. Again.

“You’re the fuckin’ worst.” He tries airing out his shirt, hoping that the smell would dissipate as soon as possible.

“Have fun on your date, sarge!” you encourage him as he stalks out of the lair. “Remember to wrap it befo-”

He turns it into a sprint before you can finish.

____

Six hours later and he’s absolutely convinced he fucked up.

He isn’t used to having his weekends free.

He realises that this is the first time in months that he’s actually stepped out of the Tower for something that wasn’t directly mission-related. He should probably get some air. Touch some grass. See the sun.

His shirt thankfully manages to rid itself of the odour from the dumb box so he didn’t have to go take a shower. With nothing much planned and a few hours to spare, he heads to the coffee shop instead.

It’s a small place, bustling and alive with a crowd of people. They have a little bookshelf that usually is full of books donated by patrons, free for anyone to read.

The barista smiles at him. The coffee costs more than his high school education. He awkwardly smiles back.

He’s not a regular, but they’ve seen him enough times to know that he usually asks for black coffee in a to-go cup, later adding a sugar or two according to his own taste. They're nice to him, occasionally throwing in a cookie or something on the house. He can't tell if it's because of the Avenger status or the sizeable tip he leaves.

He picks up a random book from the shelf, fully intending not to read it but to just sit there and think. The book acted as a shield for his resting bitch face, resting murder face and his resting rage face. More often than not, a good combination of the three.

He sets the coffee down at the corner table he manages to nab in a quick second, along with the two sachets of sugar.

“Is this seat taken?” Someone asks from beside him. He earnestly shakes his head in a ‘no’, gesturing for them to take it.

They give him a quick thanks and drag the chair away from his table.

He does a quick overlook of the book he picked up.

The Princess Diaries by Meg Cabot.

Well, now he’s too anxious to put it back. YA fiction it is.

He reaches for the sugar while glossing over the summary. He reaches a little further when it doesn’t come to his hand immediately, blindly running his fingers across the table.

Bucky peeks over the book, eyebrows knitting together when he notices that they’re missing.

He was sure he picked it up.

He looks underneath the table. It wasn’t there, neither under his seat. Strange, but okay. He picks up the book and the cup, walking back to the station to grab two sugars.

This time he makes sure to tuck it into his pocket, double-checking before going back to his table.

Which was now occupied. He wanted to groan.

His mind automatically reverts back to the box from that morning.

“Come on,” he scoffs quietly to himself. It was a coincidence. “Get yourself together.”

“A seat at the counter just cleared up,” the barista from earlier offers when she sees him standing in the middle of the store.

See? Good luck.

He shoots her a grateful look, venturing over to the barstool to take his place. It’s not the most comfortable, but then again, he wasn’t planning to stay there for very long.

He empties the sugar into the coffee, stirring slowly before opening a random page in the book.

He takes a long sip, ignoring how hot the drink was.

He chokes immediately. Because either he was losing his mind or his order had somehow got switched from ‘no sugar’ to ‘diabetes in a cup’.

He takes another small sip and his face immediately twists in disgust. Definitely too sweet. The sweetener he added only made it worse.

He catches the eye of the barista. She looks on in concern.

“Is everything okay?”

Fuck.

He’s not one to make a scene. He just wants to live as imperceptibly as he could.

“Yep.” The sweetness sticks to the back of his throat. “All good.”

He just closes his eyes and downs the rest of it without thinking twice, trying to hide the grimace in his face. He gives her a weak thumbs up. She doesn't look convinced.

He leaves the shop soon after, hands shoved in his pocket. Maybe he could go sit by the lake at Central Park, watch the clouds. It reminded Bucky of the lake in front of his hut in Wakanda and the hours he'd sit in front of it, feet dipped into the water as his goats fed. He misses it.

He makes a sharp turn at a corner, still thinking about his options when his ankle abruptly twists under him.

He stumbles rather ungracefully, almost hitting the ground, but manages to save himself through the newly built up immunity he has towards falling thanks to all his encounters with you.

His gaze lands on his hardcore combat boots. Their laces had come undone.

Now he just knew that was horseshit. He always double knots them; they had never loosened in the past before.

The box.

He shoves the thought out of his head, crouching down to tie them again. He tugs on them to make sure they’re secure before standing up again.

Central Park is a few blocks away but he’s glad he didn’t bring his bike. The weather was rather nice and the wind in his hair felt good.

He wanders around the park for a while, looking for the lake. He pauses at a board with a map of the park on it, assessing how far it was.

Once he's ascertained which path to go towards, he turns on his heel to go.

He fucking trips again.

“Are you serious?” he says furiously under his breath. “Cut it out.”

He’s half-convinced that he should tie it around his ankle like a sexy lace-up set of heels. He ties a triple knot this time, glares at it until he’s sure it’s fine and checks to see if anyone saw him humiliate himself.

Only a person on a nearby bench who looked like they were passed out drunk, given that their hoodie and sunglasses clad self was slumped over.

No witnesses. No 'You won't BELIEVE what the Winter Soldier did! Critics say it's his biggest blunder yet!' articles the next day on social media.

He manages to make it to the lake in one piece and no more falls, partly because he keeps his eyes fixed on his shoes to ensure no fuckery occurs.

There are a few people rowing and plenty of others lining the bank at scattered locations. There’s a mom and her kid at the place he ends up. She sends him a small smile in greeting and he returns the favour.

There’s a secluded bench that he takes a place on, letting out a small sigh. If he ignores the traffic and the skateboarders and the people in general, it’s actually kind of peaceful.

There are geese and their little goslings swimming around the water close to the shore. Maybe he should have brought some birdseed. Or kale.

The kid beside him is busy fashioning something out of leaves, only occasionally erupting into giggles when it doesn't pan out. His mom watches him fondly, pointing at twigs he could use. Everything seems kind of picture-perfect and his body automatically relaxes, easing further into the seat and closing his eyes for a second.

Until there's a large splash and loud distressed honking. He whips his head around to find the same kid staring straight ahead at the goose with a wide grin. His mother curses quietly, picking herself up off the ground and grabbing his hand, half chastising him for throwing something at an animal and half urging him to walk faster.

The goose turns to Bucky. With no one else to blame for the sudden attack, it logically launches itself at him. His smile drops.

He gets up in a rush. The dumb bird nearly comes for his head, but he deflects with his metal arm.

“I didn’t even do anything.” He swats at it swiftly, trying not to cause any real damage. The goose, understandably, does not speak English.

He flinches when one of them bites at his knee. He can punt it to the sun but he doesn’t want to.

“Stop that.” He sticks his hand out to shove the stupid thing away, retreating back to the road. “Jesus, why are you so aggressive?”

Among the barrage of feathers showering on him, he prays his damn shoelace doesn’t unravel as he shields his head with one arm, the other fending himself while he moves hurriedly away.

The goose honks angrily at him. He scowls at it, not exactly pleased with the reminder that these fucking overgrown ducks were constantly bloodthirsty.

It doesn’t leave him alone till he’s significantly away from where he was sitting. He wants to call it profanity but that’d probably piss it off more.

The box and its effects were definitely starting to feel real.

Fuck it, no more day out for him. The best plan he can think of is to just go to the diner he’s supposed to meet his date at.

The waiter greets him with a courteous nod, which Bucky can only imagine was the best he could muster when a dishevelled 200-pound man walks in covered in goose feathers and irritation.

He won't admit that he’s too scared to eat lunch at this point because he can’t rule out food poisoning. He spends the next two hours on his phone playing Fruit Ninja and plucking feathers that accented his all-black outfit.

Several glasses of water later and a second before he’s about to beat his high score, someone taps on his shoulder, breaking him out of his concentration.

Motherfu-

He clenches his eye shut, inhaling deeply before turning around.

“James?”

“Hey, yeah, that’s me.” Bucky almost falls over the table with how fast he stands up, clearly underestimating his size. “Leah?”

“Hi.” She smiles and he finds himself smiling nervously along with her.

“Hi.” He steps out to pull out her chair for her and she laughs. "Nice to meet you."

“How long have you been waiting here?” she asks while setting down her bag.

“Around ten minutes.” He clears his throat to hopefully hide the fact that he was lying through his teeth.

“Just give me a second, I need to tell my friend I reached,” Leah pulls out her phone and he nods.

“Another glass of water for you?” The waiter seems less enthusiastic about Bucky’s 8th refill.

“Yes,” he answers, hoping he doesn’t call him out on it, “please.”

“You must be really dehydrated."

Bucky turns to look at him slowly. “I like the taste.”

He can’t really blame the guy. Bucky’s been there for hours without ordering anything solid, just leaching off their free water and complimentary bread basket.

“So, James.” She tosses her phone back into her bag, leaning forward on her palms easily. “Tell me about yourself.”

He had rehearsed this a million times. He could do this.

“I, uh,-”

“Menu?” Okay, so someone clearly had a vendetta against him.

“Thank you.” She takes it with a smile.

His morning debacle with the coffee flashes through his mind. Suddenly the idea of a diner didn’t seem so smart.

However, she’s already placed her order and George is standing beside him expectantly, daring him to ask for another glass of water, so he places his usual order and hopes that your stupid bad luck thing wore off.

He quickly learns that his date is laid back, and it isn’t hard to fall into a rhythm with her even though she’s the one asking most of the questions.

“How’d you meet Nat?” Is his attempt at one.

“She used to come in for lunch every week at the place I work.” Leah leans back in her chair. “She can really handle her alcohol.”

He’d be worried about Nat day drinking if he didn’t know about her complete inability to get drunk. She might as well have been downing glasses of lemonade.

“Yeah, she’s-” Intimidating, scary, cool “-really something.”

“She mentioned that you like movies.” He definitely spends a lot of time watching them. “You got any recommendations?”

It’s easier to figure out how different things are or how much he missed out over the years through them. He’s glad he sat out the early 2000s, judging by their fashion sense and hairstyles.

He's watched several movies over the past few months, a few of them critically acclaimed and others who were just there for the cult following.

But now everything goes blank and the only thing that he can remember are the biopics made about Steve that were somehow hilarious for gifting him the mental image of Freddie Prinze Jr. dressed in the stars and stripes, and highly distressing for the number of historical inaccuracies. Contrary to popular belief, Stevie did not, in fact, consider running for president after he took up the shield, nor did he start his own bar chain.

He can’t name Oh Captain, My Captain starring Channing Tatum as his favourite movie on his first date and hope to make a good first impression.

“Despicable Me was kinda fun.” He wants to kill himself. “I mean, it’s the last one I saw.”

Her face twists in mild disgust, but he can tell it isn't ill-intentioned. “It's a good movie, but God, that just gave me some intense flashbacks to my aunt’s Facebook page. Don’t think I can look at a minion ever again.”

He sniggers with her. He doesn’t know what the context is.

He’s a little awkward, and he can definitely tell he isn’t the most open book but she laughs at some of his attempts at jokes. There’s a distinct discomfort he has lingering at the back of his mind prodding at him, telling him over and over again that he isn’t ready for something like this. A warning bell, asking him to leave as soon as possible because he was in a dangerous situation.

He remembers what his therapist told him about breathing and remembering that the resources he had available were greater than his anxiety and he tries to get out of his head. It takes a few minutes of acting like he's fine but he manages to do it.

Other than the one time he scalds his tongue on the coffee but played it off with a pained smile, shoving down thoughts of your stupid invention, things actually went okay.

It was nice, even though they decided by the end that it was better if they both gelled together better as friends. It lifts the strange fear he feels and he can hear Dr. Mendoza say she's proud of him for taking this step before spending three hours psychoanalysing why they decided to stay platonic.

Bucky promises to visit her sushi shop with Nat soon and she says a bottle of sake awaits him for a drinking game. He doesn’t have the heart to tell her that Nat and he share the same tolerance for alcohol.

He makes sure to leave George a tip. A big one. It’s the first time he sees the guy smile the entire evening.

He’s waving goodbye to Leah outside and he thinks that maybe it was a good end to the day and that things actually turned out fine.

Until he turns around to leave, only to have someone walk straight into him with an iced tea.

The cold comes as a bit of a shock, making him jump slightly. He stares at his shirt, using his fingertips to pull it away from his body.

The person melts into a series of apologies immediately, offering to dry clean his shirt but Bucky just forces a shake of his head and says it’s okay even though he can feel the sugar making the shirt stick to his chest. Goose feathers and iced tea. Was there anything else that would like to attach itself to him?

His fists clench and his teeth grit and he has to physically control himself from sprinting to your lair because God knows what else is in store for him and he didn't want to add in any way.

The door to the lair is locked. Fuckin’ brilliant.

When no one answers after minutes worth of waiting, he fishes for his phone and realises that maybe two hours of Fruit Ninja was not the best idea, especially on a phone known for having shitty battery life.

There’s roughly 2 percent left. By the time he opens his app to give you a call, his phone screen goes black.

He groans. He’s desperate at this point and under any other normal circumstances, he would have never, ever considered doing this.

But ten minutes later he’s outside your apartment building. You’re aware that he has your address; no doubt that it was in the SHIELD file he had gotten, and he knows that you know but it was still weird.

The buzzer has your last name listed next to it. He’s sure that he’ll break it if he keeps pressing it at this rate but he really needs you to let him in.

“Who the fu-” your voice comes through the intercom.

“I’m sorry for showing up like this, my phone died and I couldn’t reach you,” He breathes out as soon as he hears you. “But I need you to fix this.”

When he doesn’t hear a reply, he wonders if the thing actually worked. He’s about to start pressing it again-

“Bucky?” You sound a little surprised to hear him. “You’re at my house. Why are you at my house?”

“I need you to fix whatever this is.”

“What are you- fine, I’m buzzing you in,” your voice, initially confused soon trails off into something more dismissive.

There’s a soft click from the door, allowing him to push it open. The elevator is already on the same floor as him so he just uses that.

The elevator goes up a floor or two. His feet tap restlessly against the carpeted floor.

The lights turn off and everything comes to a standstill. His foot stops tapping.

He should have known. He should have fucking known.

Thirty seconds pass. He’s still in pitch darkness with the elevator showing no signs of moving.

In fact, he’s resigned to his fate. He sits down on the ground, only one step away from completely laying down and hoping someone finds his body here someday.

It’s six minutes of plain silence. He might as well get comfortable if he’s going to get stuck here for the rest of his life. Did he change his will? Does he even have a will?

There’s finally a whir. He thinks that maybe he’s going to plummet to his doom as the perfect end to this day, but then the light switches on and it starts moving upward.

It stops at the floor with a ding. He doesn’t get off the ground, only eyes the door wearily. With his luck, it wouldn’t open.

But it does and within a second he’s on his feet, scrambling to get out before it changes its mind.

He remembers your door number, basically charging down the hall to get to it.

The door is white and the paint is starting to chip off it. The handle itself is dented in a few places and he wonders if it was your fault or someone else's.

His knocks are rapid, agitated even. He doesn’t stop until he hears your loud shouts telling him to cut it out.

“What the hell were you doing, trying to break down my door?” It swings open, revealing you in your pajamas. “Haven’t you done that already? And where were you, I’ve been waiting for like, ten minutes.”

He honestly feels bad for showing up uninvited and highly flustered. He can’t imagine it’s a pretty sight either. "This bad luck shit- fix it. My whole day’s been fucked up.”

“What are you-” Your eyebrows knit together in confusion, taking in his appearance.

It takes you a second to realise what he’s talking about but when you do, your face settles.

“How was your date?” You lean against the door frame, arms crossed over your chest.

“Really,” He glowered at you, “that’s what you care about?”

“Yes.” You nod. “Did you have fun?”

He hesitates. “I guess?”

“Was she nice?”

“Yeah.” Where was this going.

“Good, I’m happy for you.” The smile on your face is genuine. “Look at you go, Casanova.”

“We agreed to be just friends, but that’s not the point here. Y/N,” he whines. “I have a mission next week, I can’t afford to fuck up. My whole day was off and I don’t want it to carry over.”

“Your whole day?” you questioned, standing up instead of leaning against the wall. “Buck-”

“Just fix it.”

“Okay.” You lift your hand up, extending it towards his face.

He waits for you to do something.

You flick him on the forehead.

“There,” you declare, going back to your previous position. “you’re cured.”

What.

He says exactly what he’s thinking.

You laugh. “Dude. I was fucking with you.”

Huh?

“Well, actually maybe just like, three things and then I got bored.”

He’s confused.

“You know,” you begin when he doesn’t reply, “taking the sugar packets, switching your coffee order when you were looking under the table, took your place when you left, the shoelaces.”

“The shoelaces?”

“Yeah.” You nod. “That’s the other ray gun you saw this morning. Unties your shoelaces. I stopped after that because I thought you figured it out.”

His face scrunches in puzzlement.

“I mean, you looked right at me and told me to cut it out.”

He racks his brain about what you could possibly be talking about before it hits him. The hungover person on the goddamn bench in the park.

“You were the one in the hoodie and sunglasses.”

“I just followed the Avengers’ code of disguise.” You shrug. “Turns out it kinda works. Also teleportation. So helpful.”

He forgot about the teleportation. That's why you could do all of it so fast without him noticing you were even there.

“What about the fucking geese?”

You pause for a second. “The geese?”

“And the elevator.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” The confusion on your face is apparent. “What geese and elevator? I have no idea what you’re saying right now.”

“Everything’s been a mess today,” he grumbles. “I don’t know what’s real or not.”

“I swear I had nothing to do with it other than what I mentioned.” There’s indignation on your features that quickly gives way to delight. “Holy shit, did I just accidentally invent portable bad luck?”

“Okay-” his palm finds its way to his forehead in exasperation, “-then what the hell was the smell?”

“What smell- oh, the one from the box?”

He nods briskly.

“Secretions Magnifique.” You snorted. “It’s a perfume. The worst rated one I could find.”

“Perfume?”

“With notes of milk, seaweed and sandalwood.”

“It wasn’t an inator?”

“No, it wasn- did you get vibe checked by a goose at the park?” You stifle a laugh when you notice a stray feather on his thigh.

“What does that even mean?” he asks in despair.

“I can see why it attacked you. You got bad juju.” You raise an eyebrow. “Maybe if you stop staring so much-”

“So I just have shit luck.” Is that a fucking relief or even worse?

“Well,” you begin but decide not to continue.

Even with all the irritability masking it, you could see that he genuinely was just not having a good time.

“Wait here a second.”

You leave him at the door. He shifts his balance and sighs, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. He still had to walk back to the Tower. Maybe he could grab a slice of pizza along the way since he skipped lunch.

“Okay, here.” You return with a large glass of water. He only looks at it. “It’s just water, I promise. You look like you ran a marathon."

He takes it from you sceptically, pushing away the urge to sniff at it. It’s gone within a few gulps.

You wait until he’s finished to point at his arm. He draws his eyebrows together, but you only curl your index finger and beckon for him to give you his hand.

He reluctantly extends it towards you.

“Don’t laugh,” you warn him, taking his metal arm. “This usually helps me.”

You tie a small bracelet around his wrist. It has a few beads, which he realises represent the colours of the solar system.

“Keep that for good luck.” You pat it gently after securing it. “I think you just had a bad day; those don’t last very long. Do you want to charge your phone before you leave?”

“Uh-” The bracelet’s pretty, the colours shine against the dark vibranium. “-no, I’m good. I’ll just leave.”

“Okay. Anything else I can help you with or will you be fine?”

He narrows his eyes. “You’re being suspiciously nice.”

“I’m not evil all the time.” You huff. “My hours are in the morning.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” he says again. “I’m gonna go then.”

“See you next week.” You give him a little wave. “I’d say break a leg on your mission but knowing your situation...”

He scoffs. “Thanks.”

You make a move to close the door when starts walking down the hallway towards the exit.

He adjusts the beads slightly so he can see them better. The Earth one has glitter in it. He thinks it’s cute.

“Bucky.”

He turns around.

There’s a hint of a smile on your face.

“Take the stairs.”

He doesn’t have to be told twice.

Next part

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #mcu fic #bucky fic #bucky barnes fic #bucky fluff #bucky barnes fluff #bucky angst #bucky barnes angst #harmless fic #winter soldier x reader #Winter Soldier #bucky barnes #bucky

946 notes · View notes

phantaloon-books · 4 years

Text

Things about Tower of Nero that I want to highlight to remember them forever:

Lu being an absolute badass woman, I just love her too much

Piper McClean being canon wlw, she was actually kissing another girl, we really fell in love in october

Chaos being canonically female (just chaos being mentioned as a deity rather than what's below tartarus)

nobody DIED, like no one on the good side at least?? yes plenty of beings have died throughout TOA, but nobody died in TON?? so many died in TLO and BOO, I expected to mourn someone and I didn't have too??! it made me so happy

solangelo. that's it. solangelo makes me happy.

will being incredibly supportive of nico, and instead of stopping him, going with him on dangerous adventures because he doesn't want to leave him alone. also them treating Nico's PTSD for what it is

WILL SOLACE CANONICALLY GLOWS IN THE DARK. HE'S A GLOWSTICK BABY.

also will just appearing at the gates of the throne room, glowing in rage because someone touched his boyfriend (and tried to kill his dad), and him just marching through everyone (everyone else letting him), just to pick up his hurt precious boyfriend and take care of him.

meg McCaffrey got her happy ending. she's baby, she deserves her family and her happy ending. also Lu being the mother and the 12 children being siblings?? that's one hell of a way to tell nero to fuck off and right his mistakes. we love meg.

dionysus being the best olympian after apollo. the duo content we needed, and now will never get

nico mentioning bob and how he wants to go look for him, because he can still be in tartarus

rachel still being a Total badass and hitting people in the eye with her blue hairbrush thus being iconic

meg acting as lester's anchor and only reason why he didn't let go of the ledge, not falling into chaos, is top tier 'reasons why I cried reading', because if you think about it, Meg is the first ever friend apollo ever had, and them being best friends is everything to me

also apollo choosing to go looking as lester rather than apollo because lester feels like home is on top tier 'reasons why I cried reading' too

again, the only thing apollo did in the end (once he was god again) that could be described as 'godly' was be in several places at once, fly his chariot, and get meg her unicorn

but apollo shooting fucking fire out of his hands is crazy asf, it was so cool. he really got amazing godly powers this book.

rick being bold enough to showcase abusive parenting knowing that a huge porcentage of his readers are minors, helping many realize that they could be in abusive households, and giving them a tool to reach out for help

apollo defeating nero was so satisfactory, because you realize in the end, that nero wasn't really a monster, he was monstrous, but still very much human (if only with some godly power), and pretty useless once he couldn't hide behind props and weapons, his being wasn't powerful, he was just under layers of protection

the jackson/blofis scene was so warm and loving, they really are willing to put their family in danger, baby estelle in danger, to help 'percy's friends' even tho she knew percy didn't like apollo, but she still takes in everyone who needs help, and paul being a loving and accepting husband

sally working on her SECOND novel, she really is having her best life

none of the big heroes from other series having protagonism, besides nico and will, instead giving the other kids from camp halfblood their chance to show they're just as worthy as the "heroes of olympus"

(still I would have loved to see a scene with everyone else, like the heroes of olympus guys, fighting together one last time, just for nostalgia's sake - I legit hoped to see percy and annabeth arriving with chiron in triumvirate tower, but yeah)

the arrow of dodona may have been a dumb, cringey, and slightly ridiculous thing at first, and I personally rolled my eyes everytime it said anything, but it knew what would happen from the start, and without its sacrifice, apollo would have achieved nothing. we stan one arrow

nico wearing a white cowboy hat. idky but it makes my heart swell with joy. he a gay cowboy

y'all know I love Apollo's arch, and I just gotta point this out. his trials, his time as lester, started with him falling to earth, and ended with him getting up after purposely throwing himself off the earth, towards tartarus, almost falling to chaos. that's really clever writing.

the olympians watching over him, and some actually being concerned for him rather than his progress.

poseidon not really giving a fuck about the world or council meetings anymore because percy's not there anymore

athena being the only one apart from artemis who trusted apollo could do it makes me warm fsr

lester deciding that the best way to retell his adventures is by singing is hilarious to me, he really thinks it'll solve everything

Grover not telling percy and annabeth jason died seems so funny to me, he really said "nah it doesn't matter much, field trip, yes"

"hey man" my heart broke in twenty million pieces. like I don't know where I expected to see jason. but that wasn't it. and it hurt me as much as it hurt apollo man.

(also I kinda hoped we would see nico summon his spirit or smth, but I'm actually happy nico realized that jason went by his own choice, and he was in peace, so he decided not to summon him, because it was alright. that hurt too)

kinda love how lester passes out after literally every battle. it reminds you that even tho he's apollo, his body isn't. I'm sure we all would pass out too if we did a quarter of what lester did in the span of 4 days. his body isn't made to endure that, it doesn't even have a halfblood endurance, it's a weak mortal body

the trogs were fucking hilarious. their screeches and grrs, idk there's something ridiculous and so childish about them, it's so fun

really happy that apollo never had a /real/ love interest (reyna doesn't count), cause that wasn't what his story was about. instead he got to make so many friends, and have quality time with them and his children, it's amazing

apollo being thankful people were telling him he'd grown, and was more human, because he realized that was the best thing he could have learned from his time as a mortal

also him saying fuck you man to zeus and his speech, like "no asshole dad, I did learn, I'm not going to see this as punishment, it was a great time in which bad things happened but I enjoyed it." yes, we love apollo not letting zeus win

getting to see what everyone will do now. nico and will figuring out rachel's prophecy, probs saving bob. rachel living her best life away from her parents. leo doing what leo does, always helping those who have no one else. the hunters' open storyline about this fox, possibly hinting at content? piper settling down in a quiet life is what she deserves tbh, she's earned quiet life with a cute gf, wish her the best. Frank and hazel being the best praetors, and I bet they will continue to be so. And annabeth and percy, who chose their happiness over all, at last

kinda wish we got to see someone still really miss jason after apollo becomes god again tho lmao like apollo missed jason more than the others, nico and piper being the exception. I mean, leo is fine and dandy, hazel and frank are okay, percy and annabeth are done mourning... I just we got to see any of them really mourning, rather than reading they mourned. it would have made it feel more emotional

the last conversation and the last words in general. "the sun always comes back" and "we're friends now. call on me. I'll be there for you" that shit got me sobbing my heart out. rick really managed to do right by the books and end it like he should have, unlike BOO. he took what made TLO good and used a similar formula. it's very different from "and for once I didn't look back", but it still fills you with warmth and the feeling that even though it's over, it's okay.

I'm just really emotional, this is all I can think about, but you bet I'm gonna add more when I remember

1K notes · View notes