#like my guy no this was needed from at least 2015 when i went to [redacted] two days in a row and immediately learnt [redacted] is exactly

[anniesocsandgeneralstore]

rhett abbott x oc | an alternate universe

Summary: "we rented a place together with our friend group for vacation, but there are only double beds in every room and everyone else already found a sleeping partner" (wc: 2216)

Requested: YES by anon

Warnings: alcohol mention, there was only one bed trope, a little sexual tension, i made tess a virgin in this for reasons that cannot be explained, maria is here in the background...lurking

✎……MASTERLIST

It had been five years since high school graduation. And the Amelia County High School Rodeo Team class of 2015 decided to get together for a little reunion. Team captains, Taylor Goyer and Dalton Allen, organized the whole thing. Sent out invitations, made sure everyone paid them on time for tickets and group meals and the rental they were all staying at together.

They were turning the reunion into a real affair. A week long trip to Cheyenne for the Frontier Days. A nationally known two-week rodeo event that they all dreamed of participating in when they were teenagers. But now, most of them had given up on the rodeo life — working regular jobs with only fond memories of roping cattle, riding bareback, and wrestling steer.

Not to mention the mansion AirBnB monstrosity in Cheyenne they chose to rent. With a pool, seven bedrooms, and a kitchen big enough to feed an army. It cost a ridiculous amount, even split up between fourteen people.

They were going to trash the place, of that much Tessa Abernathy was certain. But at least they would all have fun together again. Just like those long bus rides to South Dakota or sneaking down to the hotel pool at midnight in Montana.

And despite her apprehensions about going, Tessa was excited about the trip. She hadn’t been to Frontier Days since she was a kid and even though there was always going to be a mess that needed cleaning at the rental, she was looking forward to hanging out with her old friends again. 

But the excitement quickly drained from her when they got back from their first day at the Frontier — only just now getting inside their AirBnB at nearly midnight. A day filled with midway carnival rides, taste testing beers in the garden, and exploring old frontier town.

“You’ve got t’be kidding,” Tessa said to Taylor as everyone went their separate ways in the living room — to their beds for the night.

“Sorry babe,” Taylor spoke sympathetically with a hand on her shoulder. “But ya fell asleep on the ride over.”

“So that means I have t’room with him?” she whispered back, trying not to let him hear — because, even though she didn’t want to share a room with him, didn’t mean she wanted to hurt his feelings either.

Taylor laughed lightly. “S’s just Rhett. Not like he’s gonna murder ya.”

“But — But y’said each room only has a double…” Tessa shifted her eyes over to him warily. “He’s a guy.”

He was standing at the bottom of the stairs. Duffle bag at his booted feet. At this moment, she hated to admit that he looked good. Really good. Wearing dark jeans and a t-shirt from an old rodeo, trucker-cap on his head covering those dark brown curls that stuck out the back. The veins in his forearms and the backs of his hands standing out in stark contrast in the dim light of the foyer. She also hated that he was being nice enough to wait on her.

It sparked to life something that had been living inside her since she was fourteen. An adolescent crush she thought had been snuffed out by time. But no. Apparently the only thing that was needed to bring it to life again was the prospect of sharing a bed with him. With Rhett Abbott. The only one of their old team who still lived the rodeo life. Who made a living off riding bulls and had the reputation to back it up. She was surprised he even signed up to come on this trip. 

“Tess, look, y’re a big girl. If it bothers ya so much, y’can sleep on the couch down here.” Taylor gestured to the living room where a small mid-century modern leather atrocity sat waiting for her. “Be my guest.” 

“Ugh, fine.” 

With a roll of her eyes and a heat in her cheeks she begged to God would go away, she picked up her bag and headed for the stairs. Rhett smiled, small and unsure, as she passed him. But she didn’t dare look at him for more than a second. Would rather spare herself the embarrassment for the time being.

“Last door on the left!” Taylor called out and laughed when Tessa gave her a thumbs up back without looking.

The room, at least, was nice. Hardwood floors with a nice big rug, a window seat that overlooked the backyard, an ensuite bathroom shared with the room next to them, and a four-poster canopy bed with a fluffy comforter and pillows.

With a sigh, Tessa dropped her bag by the wardrobe shoved against the wall opposite the bed. Claiming at least one space for herself. Rhett followed in shortly after that, something tentative in his steps as he set his duffle down by the door and toed off his boots.

“Y’mind if I shut the door?” he asked quietly, voice a low grumble in his chest after a long day.

“Um — y-yeah, that’s fine,” she replied, nervously rubbing at the thighs of her jeans.

Rhett closed the door softly and suddenly she felt like there wasn’t enough space in the room. Not enough air. She moved away from him slowly, trying not to make it obvious, and towards the large window. Feigning wanting to look at the view.

“Look, I, uh…I don’wanna make ya uncomfortable,” he started slowly and she turned to him with furrowed brows, listening. “I c’n jus’ — sleep on the floor’re somethin’.”

Tessa immediately shook her head. “No, m’not gonna make y’do that. N’that couch downstairs looks about as uncomfortable as these floors, so…”

They both laughed gently at that. And somehow she was starting to hate him more while simultaneously fighting down the butterflies in her stomach. Why did he have to be so courteous too? So nice? She didn’t want to make him sleep on the floor. He would be miserable, most likely sore and sleep deprived. And neither of them really wanted to subject themselves to even sitting on that couch, let alone trying to sleep on it. So there were really no other options. It was the bed for both of them. Even though the idea left Tessa’s guts swirling and her sweaty hands wringing themselves red.

“So y’re okay with sharin’?” he questioned with a glance towards the bed. 

The bed that suddenly looked so, so small.

“In a minute, maybe,” she laughed nervously, pushing a hand through her hair. “Let’s jus’...Get ready f’r bed n’bite the bullet.” 

Rhett huffed. “Makin’ it sound like y’re sharin’ a bed with an ogre.”

“M’sorry! I jus’, uh — haven’t really — done this sorta — Jesus, this’s embarrassin’,” she grumbled, trying to hide her reddening cheeks with her hands.

“Shit, Tess, I’s jokin’,” he chuckled lowly, taking his hat off with the first two fingers of his hand and setting it down on the small table by the door.

“Right.” She wanted to kick herself, or disappear into the floor, or just something. So instead she chose to grab her bag and head for the bathroom. “M’gonna change.” 

“Okay,” he laughed again with a shake of his head.

How can he be so calm about this? How can he be so casual about sharing a bed with a girl he barely knows? She supposed, as she slipped into the bathroom and locked the door behind her, he was used to this kind of thing. Going around the circuit and sleeping with whatever buckle bunny showed interest. Or at least that was what the rumor mill around Wabang liked to tell her. This was just a regular Tuesday night for him. But it wasn’t for her. She had barely even kissed a guy let alone shared a bed with one. In either sense of the word. An embarrassing factoid she liked to keep to herself, one that she hoped Rhett Abbott wouldn’t pick up on as he slept right beside her for the next six nights.

Once changed into her pajamas, with her teeth and hair brushed, Tessa came back out into the bedroom sheepishly. But she couldn’t help the delicate squeak that slipped past her lips at the sight of Rhett standing on one side of the bed. 

In nothing but his boxers. Showing off those broad shoulders and toned abdomen, that bull-rider tattoo on his chest and the scar on his shoulder, and those pale but thick thighs.

At the sound, he looked over at her with scrunched brows and thin lips downturned. Then he looked her up and down. 

“That what you wear t’bed? Seriously?”

Tessa looked down at her clothes, a pink pajama set — shorts and a tank top — with strawberries all over. She thought they were cute, and always liked wearing pajama sets to bed, even when she was alone. But now that she was standing in front of him, she just felt silly and like she needed to cover up. She crossed her arms in front of herself and gave him a look.

“That’s what you wear t’bed? Seriously?” she repeated, looking pointedly at his plaid boxers, trying to match his tone.

“S’hot!” he defended with a gesture towards the window.

“Y’could at least put on a shirt r’somethin’,” she went on, crossing the room to stand on the other side of the bed.

Rhett rolled his eyes. “S’not like y’re wearin’ much more than me.” 

“I didn’think I’d have t’share a room!” she shot back, yanking back the covers with a huff and a deep breath.

It seemed he had no rebuttal for that. Instead, he quietly slipped the t-shirt he was wearing earlier back on before sitting down at the edge of the bed. Back turned to her as he messed with his phone. 

There was relative silence between them after that. Tessa set out her slippers for the morning, knowing she was going to be the first one up and her bare toes would freeze on this floor. Then she plugged in her phone and set it on the side table, setting no alarm. There was nothing on the reunion schedule until one o’clock in the afternoon. A shared lunch at some cantina in town before heading back to the Frontier.

She settled back in the covers, trying to keep as close to the edge of the mattress as possible to keep as much space between her and Rhett. The overhead light was turned off, only the light of their respective table lamps remained. Tessa shut her’s off with another sigh she hoped didn’t sound as shaky outloud as it did in her head.

Rhett didn’t seem to notice. Too preoccupied with his phone as he kicked up his feet and leaned back against the headboard, a small smile on his face. She looked over her shoulder at him curiously.

“That Maria?” she questioned before she could stop herself.

She knew they had reconnected recently, what with Maria back in Wabang from college what seemed like permanently. And she knew Rhett always had a crush on her. Which was why Tessa’s crush always seemed like a futile and doomed little thing. Who was she in comparison to Maria Olivares? The girl Rhett’s been dreaming about since he was a kid? She had seen them hanging out together at the Handsome Gambler, even making out outside the Pit Bar once or twice. Always a fleeting thought and never something she focused on. She wasn’t sure they were dating, but they were certainly a Thing — whatever that meant for them. 

“Uh, yeah,” Rhett replied, locking his phone and setting it aside. “Tellin’ me about’er day.” 

“You gonna tell’er y’re sharin’ a bed with someone else?” she asked with a grin.

“Probably not,” he laughed. “She…Hasn’t really asked about the trip anyways, so…”

“Oh.” That seemed odd to Tessa. If she was his girlfriend, and he was gone on a week-long trip, she would be asking every day what he was doing. Wondering if he was having fun and being safe. But that was none of her business. “What she doesn’t know won’t hurt’er, I guess?”

“Yeah, I guess,” he chuckled again.

He leaned over and turned out his light, basking the room in total darkness.

The next morning, Tessa woke up first as she guessed. 

But it was the way she woke up that was entirely unexpected. 

That made her gut sink through to the floor and a heat build up so strong in her cheeks she felt like she was on fire. 

Her head wasn’t even on her pillow anymore. Somehow, she had rolled over in her sleep and was laying with her head on Rhett’s firm yet somehow comfortable chest. Her arm was draped over his torso, her leg hitched up over his hips. And his arm…His arm was curved around her waist.

His fingers shoved into the waistband of her shorts, resting against the curve of her ass.

With another delicate little squeak, Tessa pulled away from him and scrambled up from the bed. Rhett didn’t seem too bothered by her sudden and not so subtle movement. He only groaned and rolled over. A heavy sleeper it seemed. And she stared at him wide eyed, standing there still feeling his warmth on her skin.

This was going to be a long week.

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#oc: tessa abernathy #fic: frontier days #fd: outer range #rhett abbott #rhett abbott x oc #rhett abbott imagine #rhett abbott fanfiction #rhett abbott fanfic #rhett abbott fic #outer range #outer range imagine #outer range fic #ocapp #fic request #filled prompt #rhett abbott x tesa abernathy #lewis pullman

[beheworthy]

You know, I'm always in hater mode, so I thought I'd share something sweet about watching Thor movies in the theatre - I quite literally manifested my bestie watching Thor4 with me in the theatre when she lived 3000 KM away.

I've been watching first day first show of the movies Thor appears in since Avengers2 (2015). For Thor3 (2017) - my dad had been away on transfer for 3 years and I told him I want to watch it with him. The original plan was that he'd take off from work and get here but as it happened, he got transferred back here in July and we could easily watch it in November when it released. I believe I manifested him back to us.

He doesn't speak much English but he was explaining the plot to me mid-movie. And before he only knew Leo DiCaprio and Johnny Depp as Hollywood, now he also knows Hammer Guy.

Funnily enough, our showing got canceled for unexpected technical reasons - something that has never happened before or since. I think that was the universe trying to protect me like 'babygirl you are about to be handed your supervillain origin story' lol.

When Thor4 was announced in 2019, after screaming and crying and throwing up, I immediately texted my bestie who moved 3000 KM away from me that we watching this in the theatre. I don't care if she comes here or if I have to go there. For some reason, I kept thinking she would manifest here just like Dad did, even though there seemed to be no way for it. When the release date was postponed, I told her I didn't care how much it was delayed or postponed, she needs to be here. And she kept saying 'yeah sure' even though there was no way.

But, miraculously, she came to her friend's wedding here in February 2022. From there, she went to live with her relatives in the city. And then she shifted to a PG (paying guest) close by before finally coming to her own home in the city to oversee its renovation. It was not decided how long she'd stay. But it became clear she'd at least stay till the movie's release in July.

And so we watched it together. Just as I'd told her we would back in 2019 when the film was announced. Even that day, the tap of her mid-renovation bathroom broke, spilling water all over her. She had to fix it temporarily and get changed to reach the theatre. We barely made it,  the second the movie started.

After the movie, we went back to her home where poor she was doing regular chores while I was chewing her ear ranting.

My bestie's floormate in the PG she stayed in briefly was such a huge Chris fan she had his posters on the wall (when I say Indians love him). She was obviously planning to watch this movie with her girlfriends and asked my bestie to join. Bestie said, "It was decided that I'd watch it first day first show the day this movie was announced." And she goes, "I had no idea you were such a big fan of him as well!". Bestie was like, "You wouldn't believe!"

And then she went back 3000 KM away in late August. She literally was here for a few months to watch the movie with me!

So yeah, I've always manifested people back with Thor films and it's such a special experience outside of turning me into a supervillain. I know who I'm gonna watch Thor5 with as well.

#personal #text #thor

[tinukis]

(OKAY. I KINDA GOT CARRIED AWAY (i got REALLY carried away.) AND NOW I WILL PROVIDE VERY FEW INFO ON SABOSAN HISTORY AS EARLY AS 2014.)

sabosan existing on here since at least 2017 is crazy

(it's ask blogs and im lazy to know the lore but all ik is that sabo and sanji have kids while sanji is in extreme denial abt being gay)

i wanna know how far back sabosan goes... like at leasT 2015 or 2016??? (anime timeline) and maybe 2014 (manga timeline) idk im just guessing bc i dont know what year sabo returned so

OK BUT THE SLIM CHANCE THAT SABOSAN BECAME A THING LIKE ALMOST A DECADE AGO DRIVES ME INSANE I NEED TO INVESTIGATE WAIT

on pixiv in the sabosan tag (サボサン) the oldest works on there is from 2015. (i mean when u look up サボサン you get this cactus mascot which is p hilarious)

i theorize that sabosan became recognized because of zou/wci. bc thats when we learn about sanji's history. i notice that it seem to be more recognized by a few fans as early as 2016 (when wci started)

so those big brained individuals were onto something then. they saw two blonde characters that shared similar histories and went. "wait a minute. i can cook something with this"

and you know what sanji's good at? taking any ingredients and making something amazing out of it. thats what early sabosan fans did

there are Very Little content of them/i cant read japanese and i just mostly find the cactus mascot, but they were there. at Least as early as sabo's return. and at that time, fans did not receive sanji's past. they just took these guys like barbie dolls and made them kiss... anyway i need them to meet and i want to see the longtime fans react as theyve waited nearly a decade for that very moment

(kinda doubtful but let me dream!!!)

OKAY ANOTHER UPDATE (YES IM TYPING EVERYTHING IN ONE POST) i learned how to search dates on the bird app once more and. im seeing posts from jpn about sabosan !!!

one of my favorite ones:

the people understanding since 2016... that sanji goes well with ASL brothers :'D

ok found another tweet (and the users are still active !!) and translation seems butchered so im not gonna share but from what i could understand, this other user also likes sanji with ASL... this is amazing. LIKE im aware of the impact acesan had, especially bc of the anime including ace in alabasta (i understand deeply. i mean have you SEEN the way ace acted around sanji⁉️⁉️ lighting his cigarette... smirking at him when sanji turns his back... i know what you are. they Definitely spent an entire night (or more) alone together <3) but for sabo to be included to since this long ago, esp considering the two never met?!?? and the one connection is being royal blood...

again i cannot include everything, esp long posts bc the translation gets butchered but aaahh just ppl talk about the pairing, any potentials about it makes me happy... and gives me hope for the agenda to spread wider lol. what looks like that has been said is that a couple of people really like pairing sanji with multiple characters, esp ASL... and i understand so well. theres just something about sanji being so shippable

there are also fans speaking to other sanji ships fans, and they ask/say "i want to see your sabosan !!" it's great...

ahahhaa AHAHAHA FOUND ANOTHER POST I CAN SHARE:

sabo POP figure from 2016 (aaah i want it so bad...)

and the suit he wears in this figure, it does look like sanji's fit now that the user mentioned it 👀👀

okay i dug a little more and found another sabosan fan! at first i was unsure as they could be talking about another user or a cactus or something. but as it turns out, they are indeed a sabosan fan! they've said things like "i wish sabosan was more popular"/"i wish for sabosan" and this is dated back in 2016! plus one of my favorite posts (translated into deepL as i had a feeling that twt had butchered the translation and...)

they get it. they got it. as i mentioned earlier, the fans definitely knew what was up when wci happened. THEY WERE COOKING BACK IN 2016!!! which... i believe i should now start digging as early as i can. maybe for zou or dressrosa years!! bc certainly, this pairing was actually talked about during 2016-2017. it was wonderful to see!

oh my goodness... i decided to look from start of 2015 to the end, and so far in late 2015, the same user from the above translation, has been talking about them still! they mentioned sabosan fanworks, and how they read a heartbreaking fic⁉️⁉️ i cant tell you how happy i was to read that. sabosan being a thing and having angst works, even if i can't read them. (never mess with one piece fans, especially if they are fujoshi !! they'll find their ways. im honestly fascinated. i love fandom history if you couldnt tell by this post!)

plus, some fans calling themselves delusional for thinking of this pairing... if only i could be there with you, longtime fan.

and i'll be real here, i dont know of the popularities back then but the comparison of sanji and sabo being nobles are great :] (maybe bc i've just seen ppl being mean to sabo recently 😔)

okay im sure this post is getting wayyy too long so i'll try to wrap up my investigations. bc there are many posts to look through but sabosan being talked about as early as 2015 (as i write this) is just... very joyous news to me ;w;

im sure i will be missing lots of good posts (despite the horrible machine translations) but i am shaking hands with 2015-2017 fans in solidarity... at most 9 years later

!!! GREAT NEWS. 2014 posting!!

original tweet and deepL translation... dated mid december 2014. nearly a whole decade ago. i swear sabosan will go viral, way more than when zou/wci was in progress. im sure of it

i really cant put into words how im feeling or what im really thinking. just know im happy to find fans from 2014 !!

OH MY GOD.

⁉️⁉️⁉️ AUGUST 2014 BTW. and im assuming its supposed to be "sabo started with" or something but... the content. sabosan content. 2014. it's out there. SHAKES YOU. THE CRUMBS (also this user is a sabosan fan and i think acesan fan too as i did see mentjons of them... so this just...)

THEYVE BEEN HERE FOR A LONG TIME AAAAAHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭

NOW IM CURIOUS WITH HOW MANY POSTS IVE BEEN MISSING⁉️⁉️ yall the agenda must spread farther

ASL/sanji mentioned! august 2014

omg again from the same user

shaking your hand in spirit (april 2014!!!)

there have been fans of this pairing as early as april 2014!!!! and have been manifesting for their popularity for awhile 😭😭😭 (plus this user is still active! im not sure if theyre still into one piece but... i hope for the longtime/past fans to see it all soon)

i think my investigation into sabosan history ends here after a long post and hours of searching... unless i somehow find something earlier than april 2014, the earliest moment that sabosan was first talked about was in the year 2014. Q2 2014. back when dressrosa was still ongoing. do you know how insane that is? before wci.

i think we can come to a conclusion that sabosan was a concept as early as 2014 was all becaude of acesan. thats the pattern i noticed. ace/acesan was often mentioned. and i believe it's bc not only are ace and sabo brothers, but bc sabo aimed to eat the mera mera no mi. and if sanji were to meet sabo, sanji would be reminded of his late lover, ace. and the angst potential is so real... sanji looking at sabo... just as a replacement for ace? ouch

i know the fans were having a field day when they learned about sanji's blood family :']

side note: there are likely things lost due to users deactivating or whatnot... and i doubt i'd be able to search via wayback machine. and as much as i dont like pinterest for reposting art, there are pieces of the two ive never seen before

#tin talks #absolute nonsense bc i literally cant sleep #being an insomniac is fun #i at most had 2 hours of sleep yesterday #anyway im gonna dig more into their history cuz im silly like that #call me nico robin w the way i love history #sorry #this is what happens when i decide to use tumblr more #i talk into the void #thats what using social media is for i know but #anyway #<- earlier tags #this is what happens when i fixate on a ship i guess?? #i learn history/the origins of sabosan #and i conclude that it was all thanks to acesan and dressrosa #if you actually read the entire post thanks for perceiving me now you know im insane #i will literally dig until i hit the core of the earth just to learn a little bit of my rarepair #sabosan #im crazy #insane even #anyway theres no way i'll sleep soon

[treeshroudrelic]

Redownloaded Echo on my phone to check if I still had my old saves and reread Flynn's epilogue because something has been nagging me. Thankfully they're still there (though I wish the dates weren't all changed to today, oh well). Ended up spitballing a lot of messy thoughts about Flynn Epilogue!Chase.

Heavy Echo spoilers below.

I think the commonly accepted theory is that everyone cut Chase out of their lives once his crime of murdering Sydney was exposed but having reread Flynn's epilogue just now I kinda disagree. In fact, it's far more likely that the opposite is true.

Leo, TJ, Jenna, and Carl didn't cut Chase out of their lives. Chase cut himself out of their lives.

Now admittedly both can be true. On my file, Leo is still living in Echo cause I spoke to Daxton instead of him, but on one video I could find Chase outright says that he doesn't know how Leo is doing cause the latter doesn't speak really speak to him anymore.

But that doesn't really confirm that Leo cut Chase out, although it can imply it. But I think it can imply the reverse. Because Chase could talk to him too. And in my file (the Leo is still in Echo file) Chase's response to Devon asking if Leo is still in Echo because he couldn't sell his property due to the hysteria is to say "Mhm. Well, that and some other shit that we don't really need to get into."

This strikes me as Chase being incredibly avoidant and cagey about his friends. His next line has him refer to Flynn as "one other guy" (in response to Devon expressing sympathy that Chase and Leo had to grow up gay in Echo). And, then right after, Chase asks if he could smoke, then very slowly lights his cigarette, which strikes me as very "I don't wanna talk more about my friends, can we please move on."

This is in direct contrast to the fact that Chase is rather okay with talking about the 2015 Echo hysteria to the point of having two random college students meet him at Echo so they can make a Youtube Vlog about it. He admits to have watched Devon's own video of Echo (which used Chase's footage). And he gives a rather detailed explanation of the mines and how the fire that consumed Flynn happened five years ago. He's not avoiding Echo, but he's avoiding his friends.

Why? Very likely out of guilt, the fear of being rejected, and deep paranoia of the potential consequences. So Chase thought it was better to deal with it by being the one to lose their numbers. One of the saddest scenes in the epilogue is when Cameron and Devon see how miserable Chase is and try to comfort him to which the narration goes into Chase's feelings which in a nutshell are: "I see why Cameron likes Devon, he's so supportive" "I wish I had someone like that again" "I find myself feeling happy that Cameron is giving me physical comfort and he and Devon being considerate of my feelings" "I didn't realize I was so starved for compassion affection care touch".

It all caps off in this incredibly telling line: "Still, Chase can't help but avoid their reassuring gazes, the otter rubbing at the old spider mark at his neck." Chase doesn't believe that he deserves comfort, friendship, compassion, or kindness. The spider scar is a reminder of what Chase feels he deserves, to be abandoned in his own hell for his transgressions.

Then there's the bit when the trio go to the mines where Chase gives is very informative about the nature of the mines and how the fires that happened in their five years ago might have come to be. But when it comes to being asked about why Flynn went into the inferno, Chase clams up and leaves.

Chase killed Sydney who was Flynn's best friend. And Flynn died shortly after learning this. I wonder if Chase links these together and thus feels responsible for Flynn's death or at the very least feels a tremendous amount of grief knowing that he can never gain closure from him, whether it be by Flynn killing him in retribution (which I think is what Chase believes he would do and what Chase believes he deserves very deep down under all his avoidance of responsibility and paranoia of the consequences of his actions) or the (as Chase might see it) pipe dream of Flynn forgiving him (which I don't believe Chase thinks would ever happen).

So he just flakes rather than try to deal with it, even though Devon and Cameron have no knowledge about all that and are in absolutely no position or have any investment in judging him for it. Even though the question actually had no bearing on Chase's own actions, just Flynn's, which Chase had absolutely no control and influence over. Chase catastrophized what the outcome of him answering the question would be and left rather than confront it.

And I think that's exactly what Chase did to his friends. He left because he couldn't bring himself to truly confront what he did partly out of intense fear of what he saw were inevitable deadly consequences for himself and partly out of intense guilt.

Idk, I just feel that Chase being abandoned without any attempt from his friends to reach out to him doesn't fit at all. In fact, it ends up proving TJ Route!Chase right. His life would be 100% over if the secret ever came out so he has to continue running in circles of avoidance, denial, and burying the secret via any means. But would it really be?

I think this parallels him with Flynn himself. Both men end up destroying themselves due to their own obsessions blinding them to the potential path of healing and moving on. While Flynn's destruction is much more visceral and horrifying, Chase's is much more subtle and mundane. Flynn literally burns to death and his personhood is destroyed by the supernatural forces of Echo, forced into a timeless hell with seemingly no hope for him to attain freedom much as he would want to get out. Chase regains full control of himself from Echo's supernatural forces but deliberately denies himself any hope of finding happiness or freedom from his pain and would very much love to be sent to hell. And neither man are given the answers they so desperately want.

This was a rather messy rant and I feel like I have more to say and didn't put my points across that well but it's getting late and I wanna put out something.

#echo vn #echo vn spoilers #echo spoilers #chase hunter #my ramblings #my meta

[abybweisse]

Hi there! I recently finished reading the Black Butler manga for the first time and I’m completely blown away!!! One thing I’m curious about and would like to know from a long-time manga reader: When did people start to seriously theorize that Ciel had a brother? I binge read the manga in less than a week and all of the foreshadowing/clues went completely over my head, so I would love to find out what made people start to get suspicious and what kind of theories started to pour in! 👀

Wow, that's a lot of reading in less than a week! I would have missed a bunch of little details, too, if I had tried that! 😯

When did 2CT start?

Well, I didn't join the fandom until sometime in 2015, and some people were already talking about various hints that there was probably a twin brother. @kurotwins and @akumadeenglish who are both not active here anymore (at least not on those blogs) we're talking about it, as well as some others I'm not as sure about. Apparently, the Japanese chunk of the fandom didn't really debate there being a twin; it was sort of accepted very early-on. It might be a matter of translation issues, like "sons" translated to "son", etc.

Anyway, I recall reading a bunch of their posts, and then I started paying more attention to a scene in ch1. Chlaus shows up with the packaging for a game called "Mouse3" by "Ninkyodo". Well, that's a parody of Mother3 by Nintendo, which was released in Japan on April 20, 2006. Unlike the previous two versions of the game, Mother3 never got localized as part of the EarthBound series. Which is why Chlaus tells our earl the "game" was so difficult to find in Italy. Of course, that packaging contains the drug evidence that our earl needed to show Scotland Yard. To put Azzurro Vanel (and potentially the Ferro family) away.

The irises are used in both Victorian flower language and Japanese flower language to mean a few different things, but one meaning they share in common is something along the lines of "I have a message for you." Well, that message is the game packaging shown on the very next page.

Mother3 is about mirror twin boys who deal with tragedy soon after their birthday (9th or 10th). Their mother is killed by a monster, and their father is so distraught about her death that he goes into a rage and end up in jail for a while. Soon after the dad gets out of (escapes from) jail, he finds out the older mirror twin had gone off by himself to kill the monster, but now he has gone missing. Everyone is searching, but no body has been found. However, the player of the game can see Claus' broken body at the bottom of a cliff. It's understood that he's dead. The main characters still don't know, though. Not for another three, almost four, years. After losing his wife and being unable to find his older son, the father becomes kind of useless. Notice that the guy in Kuroshitsuji is Chlaus, and the older twin in Mother3 is Claus.

Three years later, Lucas (younger mirror twin) is about 13 years old, and he sets off on his own quest for revenge, along with the loyal family dog, Boney. The rest of the game takes place during this one year, then it ends just before his next birthday. The last thing Lucas has to do before he can "win" is defeat his own older twin brother, who had died, been turned into a Fascinating Chimera, and had been pitted against him.

So, I started coming up with my Mother3 theory for Kuroshitsuji back in December 2015. Back then, I was already theorizing that not only is there a twin brother, but he's a mirror twin. The missing twin is older, dead, reanimated, and will pop up again as an adversary.

Soooo, idk how long some version or other of 2CT has been around, but a very specific version of it came to me (and became very serious to me) in December 2015. And it's canon now: mirror twin brothers; one lives while the other dies; the dead one is reanimated; they end up having to confront each other.

Even Sebastian gets to parallel the roles of both the loyal family dog, Boney (under contract) and the Dark Dragon who must be given your "heart" to follow your will (as the demon who demands a soul as payment).

That's why I'm so into my Mother3 theory, which started out kind of small and grew and grew... because the similarities don't stop there. Not even close. Numerous characters and plot lines have strong parallels to Mother3 characters and plot lines, while a few are better paralleled in Mother and Mother2. The timelines are essentially the same between Kuroshitsuji and Mother3, too.

Maybe check out my "Why I theorize" post and my "Masterpost 1" for more on that, to get more into it. There are several masterposts and addendums, plus a few more masterposts on the way... eventually. When I first started posting about it, I didn't expect it to be such a big finding, but here I am, still talking about it! 😆

#black butler #kuroshitsuji #2ct #mirror twins #mother3 #lucas #claus #chlaus #boney #sebastian michaelis #earl phantomhive #our earl #ciel phantomhive #real ciel #bizarre doll ciel #anon asks #i answer #answered asks #mar 1 2023

[miasanmuller]

So @acrazybayernfan came up with this absolutely incredible tag game and I'm 100% here for it so let's go:

What is your top 10 most memorable Bayern’s matches?

In no particular order:

Well needless to say: 8-2. I mean... it's just too iconic to not mention lol.

I also can't not mention Robert Lewandowski loses his motherfucking mind scores 5 times in 9 minutes against Wolfsburg in 2015. I mean, it's historic.

2015 UCL, the second leg against Porto during quarter-finals. That was the time I learned the valuable lesson of never giving up and to keep believing in the team and in this club. That game was insane and we ended up winning 6-1 and securing our place in Semi-finals when we died a horrible horrible death but anyway. I remember watching that game and feeling so much pride and joy of being a Bayern fan, I get emotional just to remember it lol

Now this one is really special to me for an unusual reason, I guess: home game against Bremen during the 2014-15 Bundesliga. We won 6-0, it was the second highest score we got that season I think (if I remember correctly we went on to win against H*mburg 8-0, or was it before? whatever). I remember this game bc Fips scored a brace and it was just LEGENDARY bc you wouldn't expect him to score let alone score twice in a single match. I remember screaming like crazy when he scored the first and then just dying when he did it again lmao it was fun

Another one from the 2014-15 season (this was my first season around so I remember a lot of stuff): away game against Mainz, we won 2-1. I'm not exactly sure if it was Basti's first game since he came back from injury (after the WC) or if it was one of the first games... in any case, he scored an insane goal (which to this day is one of my favorite Bayern goals ever) and I screamed like crazy and I was watching it back in my parent's house and my dad walked in while I was screaming lmao

2015-16 UCL, 2nd leg against Juve in Round of 16. We desperately needed to win and we begun losing and no one really expected us to make it through. I remember this one bc I actually didn't watch it: I don't remember exactly if I couldn't find a stream or what, but the best I could do was read live updates on a website and pray. It was one of the most stressful experiences of my life and I remember abandoning my phone at one point bc I was sure we wouldn't win. And we did. Lmao.

2019-20 Bundesliga. Away game in Frankfurt, the infamous 5-1. This one was during a time where I drifted away from Bayern due to depression and stuff and I didn't feel as connected to the team as I used to and then I remember seeing the scoreline and just... dying inside. Feeling like something was very, very wrong with the world. I can't remember the match exaclty, but I have never let go of it since then and to this day I loathe Frankfurt for this specific match.

This year's Pokal match against Freiburg in April. That was one of the most frustrating experiences of my life as a Bayern fan. It was our second game with Tuchel and I was already feeling that I would want that man's head on a silver plate (and I still do).

Another one (last one) from the 2014-15 season bc this one is really really special: our friendly against MLS All-Stars before the start of the season. Which we lost. It's special bc it was the first Bayern match I actually watched!!! I remember feeling very happy when I found a channel that was showing it and I was very excited even though the WC guys wouldn't play (I think they ended up being subbed in in the 2nd half? I don't remember exactly). Everybody was talking about Lewandowski and I was all ?????!!!! bc I had no concept of anything. It was an awful match but a very fun experience lmao

And last but not least: our UCL win against PSG in 2020. It wasn't the way we all wanted it to be, but since I was just coming back from my "fan retirement" I remember exploding from joy after that game and throwing myself on the floor and rolling around and idk it was priceless. Making P$G fail and Neymar cry has got to be some of the best things we do every now and then lmao thanks for that Bayern

I know a lot of you have already been tagged (I didn't check if any of you already did it lmao) but I'll tag anyway bc I'm just like that. I tag @thomas-mvller @thomats @probayern @miss-i-ship-it @fabioquartararhoe @smolnerdz @smilesleepandspeak and @leongolretzka (but please don't feel pressured to do it ^^)

#this was really challenging bc my memory sucks #and this made me kinda sad bc most of the matches I recall are from like... 7-9 years ago oops #I remember few particular matches from 2020 on and I don't like that #but it is what it is... life was easier and i was less busy between 2014-16 lol #anyway thanks so so much for this lise i had a lot of fun remembering these games (some of them not so much lol)

[sapphoslastsong]

A Life With You

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Fluff | Sad Ending

Summary: spending your life with Natasha Romanoff by your side. But dreams sometimes don’t last forever…

A/N: Hey, I’m back with my second fic! This time is Natasha’s turn! I also remind you that English is not my native language, but anyway hope you’ll like it!!

April 20 2015

She is there, and I can’t stop looking at her, she is a literal masterpiece made person, sculpted by the Gods of any Mythology, and well, me is just me, nothing special, she will never notice me..

April 25 2015

She is there, she smiled at me for the first time you know?! Oh god it felt like a dream, I thought she wouldn’t even know my existence! But she does, now she does!

April 30 2015

She is there, I had my first training with her yesterday, it was hard you know?! I knew she was strong, I mean she’s a trained assassin, but damn she literally destroyed me! Although nothing changes what I feel for her…I think I’m falling in love…but it’s her eyes fault! As soon as they look at me and I just melt! And her stupid smirk that makes me weak immediately..yeah I don’t want to talk about that.

May 12 2015

She is there, and she…she…she kissed me! I mean it was unexpected! Clint kept telling me to ask her on a date because she likes me but how could it be possible?! I mean I’m pretty basic…she is so beautiful and perfect…it could never work! How can she love me?! It’s totally impossible! Maybe she didn’t mean to…or maybe I should have stayed and not run away like a fool. I’m so stupid I can’t with myself…

May 15 2015

She is there, so it comes out that she meant it. She even asked me on a date…it’s tonight. I need Wanda’s help! I don’t know what to wear or what to do!…I’m so embarrassing…I’m gonna hide until tonight, or even tonight I don’t know…

May 16 2015

She is there, so I didn’t hide, we went on a date and it was so wonderful! We went to the cinema…apparently she knows about my passion for movies, it was GREAT. Even though I didn’t hear a single word from the film since she was right next to me! I couldn’t help but look at her…don’t look at me like that when you’ll fall in love you’ll get what I’m saying!

Oh god I said fall in love…I am in love with her?! No it can’t be..

May 20 2015

She is there, and yeah guys, I fell in love with her, completely, totally, endlessly…yeah. Oh I forgot! She kissed me again that night! She looked down at me, did always that stupid irresistible smirk, then leaned down and yeah, I thought I died right then and there.

May 25 2015

She is there, guys you can’t believe this! We live in the Compound right?! And…and – she literally made me breakfast! She was the only one in the kitchen and when she told me she already made breakfast for me I just melted…I can’t even describe how she makes me feel…she is the love of my life!

Oh god I’m so dramatic…

May 29 2015

She is there, and I asked her to be my girlfriend. I couldn’t help it anymore, I need her all the time, I need her to by my side, I need to know her comfort, her love. She makes me feel safe, and I think I found my Home.

Oh and…she said yes.

June 30 2015

She is there, and it’s been a month since we started dating. I live in a fairytale, this can’t be real life. It feels like a dream, she is the most beautiful person I’ve ever met, she is so strong..after everything she went through, she never lost her heart. As she says, pain only makes us stronger.

May 16 2016

She is there, and it’s almost a year since we started dating. I never loved any other human being as much as I love her…she says that she loves me so much…she once said that I’m the love of her life, and well, she’s the love of my life. Our bond is stronger than ever, even though I can’t say the same thing for the whole team. Steve and Tony are fighting all the time…feels like a Civil War.

May 23 2016

She is there, and now we’re in Norway. Avengers don’t exist anymore, at least I wanna think for now…I don’t want to think that I’ll never see them again, I care about them all and well, they are her family. She’s suffering, and yet she is the strongest here, she has always been the strongest among all of us. She takes care of me like I’m some precious treasure, but she only says I’m her love.

June 14 2016

She is there, and I met her family today, even though it was a little weird, but still. Her sister, Yelena is her name, seems a nice person, she is so different from her but at the same time, so similar… She talked to me about her sister, but not so much, maybe she doesn’t want to remember what happened in her past and I understand that, she had to go through so much, but still, she always kept her heart.

May 29 2017

She is there, and it’s been two years since we we started dating! But maybe I shouldn’t say girlfriend anymore…that crazy woman asked me to marry her! She even bought the ring! How could she buy the ring?! When did she do that?! Sometimes, she’s still a mystery to me, but she told me that she won’t reveal her secrets…so I guess I have to deal with it.

She’s gonna be my wife, I still can’t believe it but she’s gonna be my wife!

June 16 2018

She is there, we were about to get married in two months but apparently the world is ending again, so the Avengers are back together. Some alien wants to kill half of the world’s population…unbelievable. She says that everything will be okay, I hope so…I mean I can’t fight with them, I’m just a civilian, but she told me to stay at home and that everything will be fine, and I want to trust her but I don’t know…I feel something is going ti happen, and it’s nothing good.

Wait…what is going on…?

What is happening to me?!

Wha-

October 24 2023

12:34 pm

Guys, what just happened?! Maybe I passed out…wait why the phone says October 2023?! What just happened?! I have to talk to Clint!

1:45 pm

I can’t believe this…she’s…she’s…I don’t even want to say it. She told me everything would be okay, that everything will be alright, that we were get married and have a freaking family together! Why did she have to do that?! Clint said something about a snap and that to bring everyone back they had to have these ‘stones’ back! This is unbelievable! He said that she was suffering too much, that she had to bring me and Yelena back.

Now we are back, but why isn’t she here? With me? She is not here, she’s just..gone. How am I supposed to live without her by my side? Didn’t she think about how we’d live without her?! How much pain she would inflict us?! I can’t believe it and I don’t want to. I don’t want to accept that she’s gone, I need to see her again, I need her to be here and tell me that everything is gonna be fucking okay because I need her! I love her too much to let her go! I will never and I can’t let her go!

Everyone talks about Tony, but why only Clint talks about her? Wasn’t her sacrifice worth enough?

Pepper lost Tony, but I lost my wife. I don’t need a ring to prove it.

She is not there, but she is here, in my heart, but it’s not even mine anymore. It’s always been hers, and always will be.

#natasha romanoff #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x reader

[clarajohnson]

the magicians s1e12

guys i'm having so much fun with this rewatch (recap reminds me that richard killed his son through neglect and q betrayed alice with the threesome and julia's about to get duped by a fake goddess) um

this kitchen reminds me of the season 4 apartment but i'm having fun so i'm not gonna think about season 4

such a small thing but i have beef with the dude imbuing kady with faith by doing something for her like. i guess we disagree on what faith is!

you can't unring a bell so be certain when you call, julia!

poor penny getting stuck babysitting three neurotics and one alice (not neurotic relative to everybody else In This One Thing)

cannot get over q being the one who initiated it. i just can't.

jesus christ jason ralph is so hot

in 2015 you could sell an audience on the badassery of a line just by including the term patriarchy

please alice drinking triple sec :'''-)

we talk about alice's style being sexy librarian but it reads much more to me as a girl who knows she could fall at any second into twee oblivion so she's styling it in dark colors. i'm waiting for an owl necklace.

ooh! dionysus, okay!

i did NOT remember her hooking up with richard. but. i'm fine with it.

mannnnn i love julia wicker so much she is the epitome of the girl with an inch-thick tough exterior filled with love all the rest of the way through she is so special and good

fucking "didn't think you had that in you" go to hell quentin! oh MY cheating is okay YOUR consensual sex outside of a relationship is BAD! again this is why i hated him the first time around

How I was feeling about Quentin would have got us all killed. :l

i kind of feel like if he was a real person i would have bullied quentin coldwater or at least been very rude to him. sorry quentin!

lol the "janet" "actually it's margo" "this time" joke went over my head last time

I PLANNED MY WHOLE OUTFIT AROUND THAT BOTTLE !!!!!

truth serum is toxic and banned? interesting

"oh i was kind of poking around in the dark with that one" lollll my baby

quentin WOULD always bring up groundhog day. also he's actually stronger than me because if fogg told me i'd been killed in these exact circumstances 39 times i would absolutely lose all hope and try and beat the beast to the punch

penny has chemistry with everybodyyyyy

i'm in love with julia's pier one ass apartment

julia and q's reunion gets me so good !!!!! so bad !!!! "you smell the same" wow you guys should be friends forever for your entire lives and you WILL be!

julia calling god magic "some pretty eclectic shit" like it's a limited run pressing of a neutral milk hotel b-side

cool, useless, kind of gross

julia's destiny is to find a whole new kind of magic. do we think this happens? what is this referring to do we think?

the LOOK q gives julia after "richard gave it to me" so much immediate understanding and shit-stirring delight

it's crazy, like, not crazy but crazy that eliot stays so torn up about mike

"yeah, no, it still sounds bad."

JOSH HOBERMANNNNNNN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

please i did not remember that they were all going to fillory in like fucking ren fair cosplay

MAGIC IS FOR FIXING THINGS JULIA SAYS (also "if fixing things was easy everyone would do it" because somebody needs to fucking validate quentin now and then)

despite my indignation on julia's behalf i do love the choice of isolating her from the academic environment of brakebills, i think it adds a new dimension and texture to her knowledge and understanding and engagement with the world around her and i like that so much

it's fucking crazy that q and jules just... do horomancy. like horomancy is such a big fucking thing the rest of the show and in this ep they just do it!

alice's light bending feels so much like a superpower, it's so rare that they let magic seem that magical but they let it happen there and i love that

margo hanson i love you and your gun forever

the moment jules and q step through the telephone booth always kind of gets me it's so much of what the promise of the show can be it's so lovely

#fun episode goes a lot of places #unauthorized magicians rewatch #the magicians #text

[twiststreet]

I thought this was going to be an extremely busy two months for me at work and it mostly has been, but so I've been playing a lot of games lately to decompress when I get home. I went from Alan Wake 2 (which is exactly my kind of thing, at least aesthetically-- I just thought that was a really neat game) to Spider-man 2, which... and I liked Spider-man 1 fine, but the sequel somehow feels different / worse...

Spider-man 2 is a celebration of the one thing that makes Spider-man great to the designers-- which is of course, hang-gliding. Who can think of Spider-man without thinking about hang-gliding? Not whoever made Spider-man 2.

But then the weird part is inbetween all the hang-gliding, every single character talks like a 2015 Joss Whedon acceptance speech for an award for feminism (I'm not sure which one, he won many, but). Everyone's trying to sound hip but in a way that feels very much written by someone who's online too much, and on like the YA parts of the internet. Which I don't remember being true of the first game.

Spider-man listens to podcasts while he hang-glides, as you do when you're bored with your life (me, hang-gliding Spider-man, guys who work late night security, people who need to buy mattressess, murder-afficianados-- we're all podcast listeners). And the people on the podcasts will talk in this weird tone that's somewhere between Xeni Jardin saying "Homie what set you from" and a NPR host telling you about new developments in fiber supplements... One of the podcasters started rambling about the importance of hydration and doing mental health at one point. I... thought we would be ... fighting supervillains...???

And then inbetween the podcasts, the game is like "Do you want to be Miles Morales from the entertaining Spiderverse movies? Except in our game, Miles Morales is not on an entertaining adventure at all-- he spends all of his time learning valuable lessons about civic pride and the importance to NYC's vibrant food scene of immigrants honoring their roots. It's so important for immigrants not to forget where they came from while also feeling welcome to teach us about the spices they brought with them to their new home in the United States."

There was one level where Miles Morales helps high school kids take photos for a yearbook, and the game says "now go take photos of the high school's eSports team-- you know, a job for Spider-man." So I say, okay, what do those kids look like? And the game yelled "they look like everyone else, it's wrong to judge people based on how they look! This isn't that kind of game! We're a post-looks society, you fool!" And I was like oh okay, now I have to run around a large high school campus taking photos of random children in the hopes they might be gamers within a game, so I can complete this "mission", which... I don't think that's something you want to encourage gamers to do!! Stay away from the high schools, gamers!

The character Venom showed up and told me he was trying to get the corporation he was in charge of to do diversity when it hires people. Is that... is that from the comics?? I didn't read those comics, so I'm not sure. It's not even what they're saying though-- it's that it all just sounds so inauthentic to how people talk. It just all seems like a goody-goody lecture that will never end. I'm sure it's heart is in the right place, but it's just not well crafted.

It's just not really the experience I expected to be having (but it's been a strange month generally). And as a game, it's not fun at all, so far (even though the first game, which was the exact same thing, was fun-- go figure). The fighting just feels bad. It's nearly been voted like Game of the Year, though. So I guess I'm in the minority on this one. But if Spiderman 2 has taught me anything, it's that being a minority means I can contribute to NYC's juggling scene, and make real contributions that honor the past... while also pointing the way to the future. Time to juggle! Get me some bowling pins!

#man is the deadliest game #it stinks

[17yearcicada]

anyway, MY opinions on frankenstein (aka the correct ones):

victor's actions are bad and he's a rich kid but a) he was like 20 when everything went down, b) he doesn't actually seem to hate or have a bad opinion of the people he's hurt in his life, c) i like pathetic men and mad scientists

victor does seem to care for elizabeth, but definitely not in a romantic way. they are Family

there are many ways you could describe victor and the creature's relationship and i think all of them provide an interesting perspective. lovers is pretty weird though i would only accept that in VERY loose adaptations. the incest undertones are just a bit too weird otherwise lol

i'm more ambivalent on the creature's morality but i think he fully knew what he was doing was Wrong, at least. it really bothers me when people try to make the creature stupider that he actually is to excuse what he did like i promise he's sympathetic enough already

if you genuinely, like, hate either of them die actually

there were a couple "right" answers on the adaptation questions i was mostly just judging you if you liked a stupid one. lots of victor frankenstein (2015) fans on tumblr, i'm learning

i don't necessarily take issue with calling the creature adam (especially in speculative works where he kind of needs a name) i can just tell that you're a Certain Type Of Guy if you do. if you call him a monster die alone

victor did NOT make the creature out of dead bodies i feel SO strongly about this. my proof is a) he was eight feet tall but had normal proportions (iirc) and b) it took victor several months to make him & considering the fact he wasn't doing anything else i think it's more likely he had to start from scratch.

i will admit i like creature designs where he's stitched together i am not immune to good character design

my main purpose behind the bride of frankenstein question was that a lot of people on tvtropes really wanted the bride to be completed/elizabeth to be reanimated, apparently. i don't have super strong feelings about this that question was mostly just a poll

also YES i know i didn't include every possible nuance in the answers. this is a uquiz i made in like an hour get off my back

(also anyone with two braincells can tell it's a Nuanced situation, so i was worried everyone would just pick that answer if i included it and i couldn't Judge them properly.)

#so many people being pissy in the notes like shouldn't have had bad opinions then 😐!! #i admit the way the it was set up made it easy to get the bad result even if you only chose like 3 bad answers but #most people had bad opinions anyway so i don't feel that bad #.txt

[televinita]

First library sale of the year! Their bag sale, specifically. I initially went on the first night but I was so exhausted from work that I legitimately did not enjoy myself; I found no proper treasure and only bought 2 things, not least because I was surprised to find hardcovers were $2 instead of $1. So instead, I hatched a plan to come back for the $5 bag sale on Sunday, because I had a lot of fun with those in 2021 and didn’t really go to any in 2022 because I was already way over capacity with my regular buying. This time I had a great excuse!

My bag sale objectives are twofold: one, scoop up pretty books to dump in my HPB “sale fodder” bag (left side pic) -- I do not feel bad about this as long as I’ve given people who might genuinely want them at least a full weekend day plus a bag sale hour to pick them up first -- and two, grab whatever even mildly catches my eye once the bulk has been picked over, because hey, $5 whether I take two books or twenty-five, and *slaps reinforced paper sack* this bad boy can fit so many books.

I’m including the stack on the left just for general interest if anyone’s curious what kind of things I found. I don’t know any of these titles and am not interested in reading them. EXCEPT “Sold,” which I don't need a physical copy of but do love, and am probably going to buy as an e-book at some point because the writing is so profoundly moving. Might even just put that one in a Little Free Library, so strongly do I believe in its literary value to portray a harsh topic in teen-appropriate ways.

Below the cut, photos exclusively of the much-less-pretty, mostly-ex-library books’ covers from the stack on the right, along with extremely and unnecessarily long winded commentary.

(hmmm, I did not arrange these in the same order I wanted to talk about them, but I guess I’d better follow the pics)

Adult Fiction & Nonfiction

1. Spill Simmer Falter Wither - Sara Baume (2015): Will I love it, IDK. Will I keep it...even less sure. But it’s about a solitary older man who adopts an unwanted dog, and it seems very introspective and beautifully written without being too heavily literary. This is almost always a trap in literary fiction, but what if it wasn’t.

2. The Distance Home - Orly Konig (2017): Ooh! on my TBR for like 5 years now, because horses + women’s fiction, everything in the summary appeals to me. Grabbed partly to ensure I have access in case the last copy gets weeded after this, and partly because there’s a good chance I’ll want to keep it.

3. The Escape - Lisa Harris (2020): would not have paid for this on its own, but on bag sale day I grabbed it for convenience just to read because “two air marshals transporting a dangerous prisoner crash-land in the mountains and everyone except them dies and now they need to catch the bad guy on the loose” really ticks all my law-enforcement-character-loving + wilderness setting + thriller preferences. [edit: it was exactly what I expected, nothin’ special. but to my delight, the library stickers actually peeled beautifully off this one so now it’s going in the sale pile]

4. Cold Day in the Sun - Sara Biren (2019): Oops, this one’s YA. Anyway, still haven’t read her books but I suspect I might like them, and they are so unpopular here that the library only has 1 copy left; it won’t last much longer. So, convenience again.

5. Wanderer - Sara Leon (2016): I skimmed through this last year when I was looking for pianist/composer characters and it wasn’t quite what I was in the mood for, but it’s slim and at some point I will be in the mood for “a novel that explores the stifled, unspoken feelings of a music teacher and his former student, and the damage done by their years of silence.” And the library weeded BOTH of its remaining copies at once in this sale so yeah, tucking this safely aside for later.

6. Leaving the Pink House - Ladette Randolph (2014): university press published memoir, I don’t know if I will really like her but there are no local library copies left and I love houses so much that this immediately grabbed my attention: on September 12, 2001, Randolph and her husband bought a dilapidated farmhouse on twenty acres outside Lincoln, Nebraska, and set about gutting and rebuilding the house themselves. They had nine months to complete the work. The project, undertaken at a time of national unrest and uncertainty, led Randolph to reflect on the houses of her past and the stages of her life that played out in each, both painful and joyful.

Children’s & YA (mostly)

7. My Friend Flicka - Mary O’Hara: One of two I bought on Thursday. Not the most beautiful copy but not a bad one either, 1960s ex-school-library and fairly clean pages. Because I was just thinking about how odd it is that I neither own a copy of this very famous novel, nor ever see copies of it at these sales, despite owning the latter two books in the trilogy. I’d like to reread it, and haven’t since childhood.

8. I Tell A Lie Every So Often - Bruce Clements (1974): OH HEY, one of the long-weeded-from-local-libraries titles from Lost Masterworks of Young Adult Lit?? Instant snag! I’m always interested in reading those for myself, even though this one does not look nearly as exciting as hoped. Will probably read & release.

9. Vinyl Princess -- Yvonne Prinz (2009): I don’t remember this title well but I remember it fondly, and every time I look at it on Goodreads I think about rereading it, not least because she was really ahead of the curve in writing about a modern day teen who thinks music sounds better on records. I always promised myself I’d buy it if the library ever weeded its last copy, and that day has come.

10. King of the Screwups - K.L. Going (2009): actually, nah, this one’s going in the sale bag as originally planned. While sorting them I caught enough in the jacket summary about a complicated father/son relationship to make me wonder “Loki vibes?” and consider trying it, but upon further examination this just looks like an awful time. Trashy teen boys are not where it’s at for me.

11. More Tales for the Midnight Hour - J.B. Stamper (1992): I bought Still More Tales for the Midnight Hour as a teen and have loved it ever since; with this one I think I might finally have the full set o’ spook.

12. Both Sides of Time - Caroline B. Cooney (1995): I read so many of her books in high school, but I remember this one being one of the best. Mass market paperback is a very convenient way to store access. Plus, Laurel Leaf imprint is my favorite paperback imprint. very nostalgia/comfort.

13. Call it Courage - Armstrong Sperry: an elementary school fave I’ve almost forgotten, bought to revisit briefly and then I’ll release because holy hell is this cover ugly, and the too-stiff binding basically made to crack and dump the pages out.

14. Vacancy - K.R. Alexander (2021): THE children’s horror author of the modern day. I’ve actually read a couple of his books recently because the covers alone were so creepy, and had a blast, so I’d like to read this one too and then I’ll let it go. Much better in print than as an e-book, but library only has it on Libby.

15. Nop’s Trials - Donald McCraig (1985): Ending where we began, with an adult-fiction dog book set in nearly the same region... Except this is much better. It’s the other one I bought Thursday, and the closest to treasure in the set, because I read this in high school and 5-star loved it and have been looking out for a cheap copy ever since, but only ever saw it in a huge and heavy oversized hardcover. At last, the mass market paperback of my dreams/same as the one I originally read is mine.

BONUS FUN FACTS: 

(because I love to talk books and literally cannot shut up about them)

1. I spent an hour walking around and it was honestly fascinating to watch the number of books shrink in real time, circulating volunteers constantly consolidating sections and folding up/removing emptied tables. Practically a time lapse vid.

2. I donated a full grocery bag of books to this sale myself, and I was so excited by how many I saw on Thursday that were gone by Sunday. I also took back 3 of them (not pictured above) that had not been taken by an hour before sale ending time, because I was Personally Offended about it -- one of them was a horse book! i just accidentally had two copies of it -- and went, “fine, I’ll bring them somewhere they’re appreciated!”

(joke, but I really do plan to donate them to another sale and hope they have better luck in a new county. I don’t know for sure what the Friends do with unsold stock after these sales and I don’t want to, but I’d rather not risk ones I like being thrown out / donated anywhere that will pulp stock en masse if I don’t have to.)

#these pictures are v. low quality and ugly and they still took me so so much effort to take AND upload #I made it a photo post but truly this is a text post SO MUCH TEXT oh my god #but i've been wanting to post about book sale adventures here for over a year and i finally did! #library sale #oh shoot! forgot I also grabbed 1 picture book because The Puppy Who Wanted A Boy is so so cute and now I can keep it

[antvnger]

((Actually! Since I mulled around with timelines just a bit, 95% of the arc reactor stuff takes place while Scott is in prison. Technically, the arc reactor was created months before Scott was arrested, and then everything else takes place before Scott’s release. By the time Ant-Man comes into the picture, the arc reactor is only seated in the suits until Tony makes the arc reactor model we see in Infinity War, which I say he made a lot earlier in this AU because he just needed it but that’s another meta headcanon for another time.

And technically, according to the MCU timeline, the arc reactor’s umm…arc actually takes place over the course of 2 years. A quick google search shows the events of IM1 actually are supposed to take place in 2010 and IM3 takes place in 2012. And Scott was incarcerated from June 2012 to June 2015, so I just merged some timelines together.

So short answer, all the arc reactor stuff took place while Scott Stark was in prison, and he found out about the arc reactor and the poison and the surgery long after it all occurred.

See below for how it went down.))

Finding out about all of that was scary for Scott Stark to say the least.

He of course knew about the arc reactor. How could he not since he’s been around Iron Man more than once and has been shown the arc reactor.

The same arc reactor his grandfather first envisioned that sat larger than life in Stark Industries could now fit in the palm of his hand. That was wild.

But what was crazier? Scott learned it all from Cassie.

It was actually when Cassie had swiped his helmet to play with and when she had blue construction paper taped to her shirt and definitely after Scott sent the photo of her to Tony.

“Daddy, did you know that the arc reactor kept Uncle Tony’s heart alive?”

Scott froze, unsure if he heard that correctly. “...what?”

“Uh huh," she replied, unfazed by her dad's sudden shift in demeanor. "When those bad guys took him, his heart got hurt, and the arc reactor kept ‘sharpnal’ from getting into it and hurting it more.”

Hurting it more. Or worse actually. “...what?”

That’s when the phone call happened. At least, as soon as Cassie was out of earshot anyway.

“Tony, why the hell am I learning about you having shrapnel in your heart from my kid instead of you?”

Well shit. Tony had been hoping to protect Scott from that. He knew how the news of his kidnapping threw Scott into such a panicked mess, thanks to Pepper and Maggie, that Tony knew he wouldn’t react well to the truth about why the arc reactor was miniaturized in the first place.

“Had,” Tony corrected gently. “I had shrapnel in my heart, but surgery took care of that.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because it’s nothing to worry about anymore. It wasn’t anything to worry about before you even got out of prison. The shrapnel, the hole in my chest, the poison, all of that is behind me now and nothing you need to worry about.”

He lost Scott completely at poison. “Poison! They poisoned you too??”

Shit! “Actually it was the Palladium in the arc reactor which was accelerated due to me using the suits–”

That did not help at all. Scott's jaw dropped. “You poisoned yourself?!”

“No! Well I mean not intentionally. I didn’t know though, okay? I didn’t know until it was spreading and I was starting to feel the effects.”

“Until you could feel it killing you, you mean.” Scott’s starting to panic now, temporarily forgetting that this was a past tense discussion of events.

“Scott buddy, listen. I’m fine. The poison is gone and cured, thanks to a little diddy I like to call Badassium which cured the poisoning. Turns out Grandpa Howard actually was some merit to me after all. And the shrapnel is gone, and I’m okay. I’m fine, Scott,” he said slowly, calmly. “Breathe, Scotty, I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.”

“You promise you’re okay?”

“I swear on DUM-E I’m fine, and the things you’re panicking about right now aren’t worth your time and effort. It’s okay, Scott. I’m okay.”

Tony’s relieved to hear Scott take deliberately long, slow breaths. “That’s it, Scotty. Atta kid, it’s all good now. You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

After a moment of quiet on the other end, he heard a soft, curious voice ask, “Badassium, huh?”

Tony chuckled and nodded. “Next time you come over, I’ve got some pretty impressive holoprojections to show you. It’ll give more depth to the name.” Then after a beat, he asked, “You okay?”

Scott nodded even though Tony couldn’t see it. “Yeah, I’m okay. Sorry I freaked. That was…”

“A lot thrown on you all at once and without warning, yeah I get it. Sorry you found out that way.”

“That’s okay.”

“I just thought–”

“No, no, I get it. Why make me worry about something already said and done, right?”

“Exactly. You sure you’re alright? Anxiety worked out of your system?”

“Yeah yeah, I’m fine now, Tones. I'm good...and I’m really glad you’re still around, ya know.”

Tony smiled softly. “I know. Thanks, Scottster. I’m glad you still let me be around,” he teased gently.

They eventually hung up the phone, and Tony sighed as he looked at the schematics of new arc reactor models.

He really was better than what he was, and he didn’t need the arc reactor to stay alive. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that he couldn’t let the arc reactor go completely. Not just for Iron Man but for himself. For whatever reason, he still felt like he needed it.

A whisper. "I'm fine."

#for the ant mun #scott lang #ant-man #anon asks #tony stark #iron man #what if scott and tony were blood brothers #blood brothers #blood brothers au #arc reactor #badassium

[amisbro]

The thing I ask myself now is this...

"What happened to the UtaPri fandom I knew?" I guess we are going to need some context on this huh? Do you remember 2014 and 2015? I do and they were great years! I had really started my first year on this platform in 2014 after I started watching the UtaPri Anime's first season on DVD and it was GREAT! It wasn't like Season 2 was...that was the Gold Standard but the season itself was a great one and I had gotten introduced to some of the characters that would become a part of of my life for a good amount of time...at least until Season 4 but we'll get there, I watched the 1st season on DVD and Season 2 on Crunchyroll and they were great times and at the time I remember seeing QN and liking ALMOST all of them and I say that because ,back then, I wasn't a huge Reiji fan...I know I know but its how things were as his personality wasn't something I was into. Ai's was a completely different story because of how analytical he was ,Ranmaru was the rocker that I liked A LOT and then there was...that guy...you know who! Yep...Camus! I don't know what drew me to him ever to be honest. Looking back on it I felt like a damn fool because nothing about him really relates to me and that makes things hard NOW to really embrace him as a character so I don't. I HAVE unfairly punished the other three members of QUARTET NIGHT for this and that I actually feel bad about but...yeah Now when I watched Season 2 there was a Trio that we all know now that debuted called HEAVENS and look we all know this that ,back then, I despised almost the entire Trio save for Kira (That dude just stayed out of trouble while Eiichi was being extra and Nagi was a brat...how could you really dislike the dude) so seeing them get beat was something I relished and then I went on about my day. Now before Season 3 (and I remember this still) the fandom actually did a thing where we took the chibis from Music 2 and we flooded the dashboard with them. It was a great thing we did and I still have a very fond memory of this. I think we also did it for season 4 which was really cool! But Season 4 something happened that I wasn't expecting and that was a..

"DIVISION!!!!" (Yes I love me some John Bercow...deal with it!) Okay so what happened? Well in Season 3 HEAVENS re-debuted as a 7 person group as we all know and they were supposed to be the opposition to STARISH and QUARTET NIGHT...this is where I think problems started to occur. See before (and then during) that season I had made it a goal to try and understand each of the different personalities of the HEAVENS members that were being introduced into the series. The big issue that came up really started in Episode 9 and really hadn't relented for a good long while until I blocked certain people (one of them used to follow me on twitter) and honestly I'm surprised I went most of the year this year without any Eiichi hate on my TL...it was honestly refreshing There were two episodes that genuinely confused and frustrated me when it came to the fandom S4/E5 - Visible Elf S4/E9 - Next Door Why these two? I'll tell you While we know that Episode 9 dealt with the subject of Abuse so did ,in its own way, Visible Elf because while the former dealt with both physical and mental it can be argued that the episode 4 episodes prior the HEAVENS member in it suffered "unintentional" mental abuse because ,if Shion wasn't being yelled at, why would he run from Cecil and then lock himself in the closet back at the HEAVENS Loft. Oh that's right...that never happened and we can excuse it right? The weird thing is that in "NEXT DOOR" that could be considered WORSE when it is depicted where Raging put his hands on Eiichi (his Eldest son) and then went in on him. Oh and we can't forget he called him a "Loser" which is always a fun thing to call your kid right? But that was forgotten and all that is remembered is that "Eiichi Broker Otoya" Funny how this fandom works isn't it? Oh but the weirdness of the fandom doesn't end there because you see now we get to talk about the recent bouts of ENTITLEMENT that they had not the least of which had to do with Shining Live shutting down their Global server and people being legit MAD about that despite the fact that they don't owe anyone an explanation. That would be like be going into Sentai's DMs and demanding to know why the heck they took UtaPri off of Crunchyroll where probably most of the fandom watched it? It ain't my business but I know I'll never buy from them again and rather buy the R2 DVDs because I genuinely didn't like what they did. But I guess my question is this Dear UtaPri fam, Why do you think you were owed a merge for the EN/Tradational Chinese servers when you got (and technically didn't deserve) 4 seasons of the Anime Maji Love Kingdom You got the UtaPri (Shining Agency) Special And are getting STARISH Tours Fam you ain't entitled to ANY of this and yet you got it! The ONE TIME a company says"No" and you decide to be vile and disgusting people. What happened to the people I knew in the fandom? If you are still around you come find me and we can talk but until then... I don't want to hear from you

#Amisbro #utapri #rant #seriously stop being entitled #you are embarrassing #And Sentai doesn't care about you #they just love to hear you BEG #And also yes this was about the Shining Live shutdown

[somewherenearcool]

rich people need to be stopped

generally speaking, but i want to talk about nepo babies and music.

this isn't a new discussion, we have all heard about king princesses great grandpa who founded macys and died on the titanic, and yeah, even if they didn't receive any sort of inheritance as they claim, there is still some generational wealth that allowed their dad to become a sound engineer and start his own business, which allowed king to get musical training and record music and blah blah blah.

but i don't want to talk about king princess i want to talk about this band called Lawrence.

specifically, these two: Clyde and Gracie Lawrence.

you may have seen them across other social media platforms. they identify as an R&B/soul group...

and they all look like this. which i guess is fine, live your truth.

but what is really interesting is the way they market themselves.

They often describe their collective as "just some siblings and friends making music." and it is really easy to take this at face value considering none of the members have their own wikipedia pages, despite the band having been established for over a decade.

However, if you go to the bands wikipedia page you can learn about The Lawrence Family.

What is the significance of the Lawrence Family? Clyde and Gracie's father is Marc Lawrence. Who's Marc Lawrence?

Marc Lawrence is a well established screen writer, producer, and director. His portfolio is massive and includes works such as Miss Congeniality and Did You Hear About the Morgans amongst other Sandra Bullock and Hugh Grant collaborations. Suffice to say-- this guy is loaded.

This guy-- Marc Lawrence-- also has a habit of including his children in his work. When Marc was working on Miss Congeniality, he claims that Clyde (at age five) actually wrote the pageant song, thus making him the youngest ever inducted member of the Song Writers Guild of America. Good on you Clyde. From that point on, as a child, Clyde composed several songs for several of his father's movies, and Gracie acted in several of them.

Both Clyde and Gracie attended the prestigious Dalton School on the upper east side of Manhattan, and both of them went on to study at Brown, where Clyde eventually formed his band "the Clyde Lawrence Band" (classy).

But okay whatever, rich kids gonna rich.

Here's the part that i really feel is so insidious. As i've mentioned before, neither Clyde nor Gracie have their own wikipedia pages, EVEN THOUGH they have both been established in the film industry since childhood. I cannot comprehend how the youngest ever member of the Song Writers Guild of America and his child star sister are able to evade the all powerful forces of wikipedia and yet somehow they have managed.

What is doubly insidious is that their newest single is called "23," and it was released this year. The entire song is sung from Gracie's perspective, and the chorus goes:

"you said that 23 would be the best year,

well i'm 23 and that's a lie.

you said that 23 would be our best year,

but at 23 you said goodbye."

and all the marketing around this song has been birthday themed, as if to insinuate that Gracie Lawrence is 23 now, wrote the song as a 23 year old, reflecting on presently being 23.

and listen that's not me reading too far into it

that's

literally

what they are doing.

What's bonkers about this is i'm 23 right now. I graduated high school in 2018 and i graduated college in 2021. Gracie Lawrence graduated high school in 2015, took a gap year, and was set to graduate from Brown in 2021. So unless Gracie Lawrence skipped three grades in school, which seems unlikely considering that while she was in school she was also acting and touring with her brothers band...she's not 23, she's at least 26.

AND THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING 26, BUT THERE IS DEFINITELY SOMETHING WEIRD ABOUT GOING OUT OF YOUR WAY TO MAKE YOUR ACTUAL AGE DIFFICULT TO FIND ONLINE AND MARKETING YOURSELF AS A QUIRKY GIRL IN YOUR EARLY 20s.

which brings me to my next point. their wardrobe.

people can dress how ever they want, but the outfit choices made by clyde and gracie feel deliberate in two ways.

A.) Gracie's outfits look like they are meant to age her down:

it's a lot of school girl outfits and cheerleading uniforms and shit. furthering my theory that they are trying to make her actual age difficult to discern

B. their outfits are but ugly.

not to be a bully, but i'm going to be a bully here, because they can take it. They are poor-baiting. their outfits are all mismatched, sized wrong, generally thrift store coded. As above you can see gracie has no problem wearing boxy shirts and mixing patterns.

if we examine clyde's wardrobe we see a lot of jerseys, faded t shirts, ball caps, and sneakers.

again, it's all very boxy, casual, not as uncoordinated as gracie's attire, but still it maintains this blue-collar image.

also

this isn't related to anything, i've just seen this outfit so many times on social media and it makes me want to tear my hair out.

their lyrics also hold evidence of poor-baiting, for instance, this song "i'm confident that i'm insecure", which boasts the opening lines:

"well shucks,

i think i need to go to therapy,

but i'm tough,

so i'm just gonna cry in bed for free"

But why wouldn't they want to be perceived as poor? If you're going to call yourself a soul artist or a soul group, you need something to be soulful about. You need to have life experience or else your callowness will shine through in your shallow, heavy handed, tiktok lyrics.

I guess my whole point is... these people are freaks. I think it's difficult enough that the pop genre and other major media is over saturated with the children of last generations famous/grotesquely wealthy. It's bad enough that we normals have to live with the fact that we will never have the time or resources to reach success that these millionaires have. it's bad enough that these two definitely went into that pizza place to have a photo shoot and they have definitely never set foot in a cheap by the slice pizza place earnestly.

But you're telling me that with all those resources, with all the training, the ivy league educations, and all of daddy's money...

the lawrence siblings couldn't have found a single black person to stand as a major member of their soul ensemble???

#music #music criticism #music writing #pop culture writing #my writing #me #lawrence #lawrence band #marc lawrence #nepotism #nepo baby

[mineofilms]

Buffalo Bills 2023 Mid-Season Review

“Think a little bit less and just play football…” Josh Allen, 10/24/2023.

Welcome to my mid-season BLOG on the 2023 Buffalo Bills regular season review. As of right now we are 4-3 on a stretch of bad games over the last three weeks. This season is beginning to look more like the 2021 season rather than last year or the 2020 season. The 2021 season was the first season where a 17th game was added to the regular season and one preseason game was removed. The BILLS were 11-7 that year. We lost to the Chiefs in the Divisional Playoff game. You know, the one where Buffalo had the game won twice in the final two minutes, kicked off to Kansas City with 13 seconds left, and they got the game-tying Field Goal, won the coin toss for Overtime, and went right down the field in no time and scored the game winning Touchdown.

Yeah…That…Game…

Yeah…That…Year…

After losing to the worst team in the NFL this year, the New England Patriots, I do not BILLieve we are playing for a championship this season. We are not even playing well enough for the division title right now, even though we are only one game back and have that tiebreaker against Miami. Right now we are playing to just keep our head above the water line. I am basing most of this on what I have seen from the team, past, present and the flow of the games played so far this season. The injuries, instabilities on both sides of the ball, no identity on offense, missing key players on defense, our ability to know what the problems are during the game, but are not able to correct them, in-game, when we need them.

Earlier in the year we showed signs that we could adapt to what other teams were doing against us, during the course of the game, and we'd be able to make adjustments and then outplay our opponents after those adjustments. Now we cannot do that. Where we once had unity and played complimentary football has turned to too many young guys that are not true starters for an NFL team trying to make plays as if they were everyday starters. I have always viewed backup players as players that would start if the starter wasn't starting. That the team likes this guy but another guy is just a little better. That isn’t what I am seeing from our backups. What I am seeing are guys that are playing for backup jobs and play like it when they are in the game. First guy needs to make the tackle or at least hold up a guy and wait for help to finish a tackle off. The last three weeks it’s been first guy just misses the tackle outright or takes a bad angle.

Like the bad years when Buffalo was dead last in the division.

Guys would get penetration to make a big play and then whiff on the tackle. All of a sudden now we cannot trust our secondary to cover man on man in critical situations? We have to play zone which only works if the pass rush is there forcing the Quarterback to make a hasty throw. It hasn’t been there for the last three weeks. Too many backup players in the game that could not get off their blocks in the fashion we need to be able to run a zone scheme like that over the course of a game. We try blitzing and now we have less secondary options for zone coverage.

I have been writing about the Buffalo Bills games/seasons since I started my BLOG in 2015. Many of the older blogs related to the Buffalo Bills have since been removed due to age and them not being directly related to this team. That was the Rex Ryan years. The oldest BLOG I have for the McDermott Saga starts with the Divisional loss in Kansas City during the 2021-2022 season. It was that game when the emotional rollercoaster went next level and pretty much has not stopped since. I had already experienced some craziness during this cycle with the team. The Houston Wild Card loss where we had a two position lead going into the 4th quarter and found some way to lose that game. The “Hail Murray” game where the situational problems seem to have started and the AFC Championship Game loss to Kansas City. Granted we were never in that game. Kansas City beat us up and it was generally a boring game as a Bills fan. Josh Allen really showed growth that year that he could be and is an elite Quarterback in the NFL. The next year was the 2021 year. This was the season where we had ups/downs all year. The offense wasn’t as deadly as it was the prior year but showed signs it could be. We struggled, but ended up winning the division from New England. We played them in the Wild Card Game at home and destroyed them. There was plenty good feelings around that we could go into Kansas City and win as we did it in the regular season that year. It was right there and all we had to do was go and take it. We all know how that ended. There is an entire BLOG on my feelings from that game. Some of it, or at least the feelings I had right after that game are still present today. Some of the issues we saw in that game are still very much prevalent this season. I feel like that is why there is so much panic with the Buffalo Bills fan base, better known as “BillsMafia.” Two years later and it feels like the same ol’ same ol’ with the problems we have.

I Am Emotionally Drained Myself…

To be so close and have it slip through our fingers the last three seasons, four, if you include the loss to Houston. We are now getting these feelings of frustration almost game to game now. Last year it was frustrating because we were injured most of the year. The offense was being called by 1st year play caller Ken Dorsey, who was the Quarterback coach before he was promoted to Offensive Coordinator with the departure of Brian Daboll to the New York Giants Head Coaching position. Buffalo tends to hire from within and promote from within, so this was not a surprise. What is a surprise is how unbalanced the offense has been under Ken’s play calling. My home was hit very hard from Hurricane IAN that it was nearly three weeks before we could again watch football in a normal, comfortable environment. So perhaps I take the Buffalo Bills woes a little more personal and harder than others might. Not saying that I am going overboard as a fan. I feel like I am not, but I do have personal feelings invested on how the team does. To see us “this close” only to move forward in baby steps, but crash and burn like the resolve of a “feelings-hurt” teenager is disappointing, to say the least.

I told my audience I would take a day to think on this and get some feedback from the official media sources for the Buffalo Bills and the independent ones to see if my thoughts and feelings could be swayed either way. I have mixed emotions and thoughts here. At first I felt like, this was it. That our year is over and perhaps we will make the playoffs as a divisional runner-up wild card team that shows up to play, but can’t get out of their own way. One and done… I simply do not want to speak on my thoughts on the Buffalo Bills from a strictly emotional point of view and wanted some real world X’s and O’s perspectives before I began writing this. I openly admit that my football knowledge of X’s and O’s is not as sound as it was when I was a player. However, some stuff, most stuff, still stands out to me. I do feel like this year is closer to the 2021 year and that this current struggle in the year will build character, but it also adds to the pressure. The offseason after the Bills lost to Kansas City in that Divisional Playoff Game the sports media played it as 2022  is “Super Bowl or Bust,” and that isn’t how the game is played, even though the Bills BILLieve it to be “Super Bowl or Bust” each year. I just think that now, moving forward, our team has seen just about everything the Football Universe can throw at us in order to prepare a team for a championship. A lot of the greats went through it: Jim Kelly, Dan Marino, Brett Farve, John Elway, all had to deal with stretches where their team wasn’t playing well, but were still in the mix for the division title and playoffs. Sometimes they recover, balance shit out, and go on to win championships. Both Farve and Elway won Super Bowls after tasting playoff defeat. Elway had three Super Bowl losses before he won two in a row and one against Farve. Jim Kelly lost an AFC Championship Game and a Wild Card Game before ripping off four straight Super Bowl appearances with all four being losses. Mahomes has lost a Super Bowl, Brady lost three for that matter. So to think or feel Buffalo is out of it now that they are 4-3 and playing not so great means they are done. At this point there are ten games left and much can and will happen before the playoff schedule is made up and the media jumps on that wagon.

It’s been typical in the NFL in modern-days that if you are a team, you get/got hot in Dec/Jan, somehow, find a way to make the playoffs, you got a chance. Based on that criteria I feel like we're still in this thing. Miami lost to the Eagles on Sunday Night Football, the defending NFC Champions, in a good hard fought game. The Buffalo Bills are only 1-game out of first place in the AFC East. We beat Miami earlier in the year and get to play them again. We play the Jets and the Patriots again. Those are swing games. Those teams can also lose like we have been losing and probably will at some point in the year. The Dolphins so far have only been able to beat up on bad teams and have not been able to beat good teams. Granted they were both road games. We shouldn’t overly panic, but yeah, if we continue to hold onto false hope that this season is SUPER BOWL or bust then it’s a bust. Let’s stop thinking about home field, the division and the playoffs and just go out there and win games again.

Like Josh said: “Think a little bit less and just play football…”

We're still in this race; no need to panic, but we can sure lift up the plastic transparent casing that says “panic button” and hold our finger above it if we end up missing the playoffs. If we miss the playoffs you will see some major changes in the philosophy at how we are doing our business. Probably get new Offensive Coordinators and Defensive Coordinators, I’d imagine. I doubt Coach McDermott is on the hot seat for his job, but will have pressure to make changes in the team’s philosophy. Clinging to Super Bowl hopes this year is unrealistic at this point. We should focus on hiding our shortcomings and exploiting our strengths. Simplicity is key when the offense lacks an identity. Threaten opponents without extravagant plays, complicated formations, and utilize Diggs, Davis, Cook and the Tight End position better in those 5 Wide Receiver sets. Allen can still be a threat with his legs in a 5 WR set with 2 of those WRs being 2 TEs blocking for him in those packages. Josh Allen's potential remains untapped this season.

Our OFFENSE Needs Variety, Not Predictability.

I noticed a lot of predictability in what our offense is trying to do in certain situations. To me, when they run out of shotgun it is apparently obvious that is what they are gonna do. Sometimes we break a run from it, but we tend to run better with Allen under center and motion with a TE as the extra blocker, statistically. We should do what we do well, rather than fix what's broken. If we aim for the playoffs at 10-7, we must excel, not wait and hope. Winning more games, especially against weaker teams, is imperative. We lost to the league's worst team, which Buffalo allowed to dictate the tempo and pace of that game. We need both offense and defense to execute the game plan. It would be a great help that we need a game plan that actual has a level of success to it. There shouldn’t be a lot of surprises. If something isn’t working the way we want it to work, then we need to be able to change that in the game, as it happens. The No-huddle offense ignited us the last three games now in the 4th quarter, suggesting it's time to remove the training wheels off this offense and Josh Allen. It's a challenge, but it aligns with our familiar BILLS offense. In 2020 our offense with Josh Allen was super explosive. We were super-aggressive down the field and not just go routes, but Tight End, over the middle, deeper and sitting in the zone. We pushed the ball, north and south. Lately; I feel like we are shortening everything. The offense moves different when they are running tempo and pushing the ball. Even on the runs. Quick hitters in tempo can pop a big run here and there after a deeper attempt, whether it is completed or not.

Right now I feel like its last years style with 2021’s struggles and record. The schedule coming up is going to be brutal. As long as we win more than we lose we’ll be playing in January. Like last year; we are playing at the level of our opponent. We should be thinking about exploiting what we do well and ignore trying to overly progress with this offensive scheme. When you have no identity on offense, you can simplify things to keep the ball moving. It is what New England did to us. We do not need huge junk plays, but we should always be threatening teams with them. We came close once with Diggs. Davis can also stretch the field. However, if they are covering all that we can dink it down to the Tight End over the middle or out to Cook in the flats. Josh Allen should also have more to do. We have not used him to his full potential. It’s almost like we cannot multitask on offense. We do not know if we should line up in 5 WR or 2 backs in the backfield. It almost feels like our offense is getting slowly predictable. We can do what we can do and do it well. Rather than trying to fix something that doesn't work and hasn’t' worked since the Kansas City playoff game; two freakin’ years ago now. We are so far away from that. We are so far away from the opening night in L.A. a year ago. If we finish 10-7 and make the playoffs we'll have to get hot. We cannot just wait for the playoffs to come and hope we can win one before not showing up for round two again. However, we have to think about NOW, right now. There won't be a playoff game if we do not win more games than we lose and at least win against teams we should win against. We lost against the WORST team in pro football right now. They can't run, block, or tackle, turn the ball over too much and still showed they can't do those things against Buffalo at a very high level but Buffalo allowed them to do whatever they wanted.

Against the Giants we needed the defense to come through. Against New England we needed all three phases and all three phases failed us. The offense got hot once we went No-Huddle. Allen will keep us in games, but it is now time to take the training wheels off the offense. Why we are not running more No-Huddle I can't tell you. I can tell Dorsey doesn't like it, but I feel like that is the only thing that gets us moving in a way that seems more like the BILLS offense we are used to seeing. Coach McDermott expresses confidence in the team and their ability to turn things around. I tend to agree with him. At the end of the day we are good football team that is under performing, but it isn’t yet time to panic. It isn’t time to start firing coaches and benching players. If we have shortcomings and we cannot get around those shortcomings we need to do a better job of hiding them. We have done that the last two seasons. 2021 we had the number one defense in points, and yards, but the defense was very weak up front that year. That year the defense did not tackle well or cover very well in the big games against big Quarterbacks. We were able to win during those years because our offense kept the peddle down and teams would get behind or couldn’t stop Allen/Diggs so they would abandon their game plan, like run north/south directly at us where we are weakest. We did correct a lot of those issues, but with injuries we have absolutely lessor players in those key rolls and they just cannot get it done. We have to hide these weaknesses better. This is also why it is so important for the offense to get back to what they do best. Last year’s defense a lot of the same. It’s a good defense, but we are small upfront and teams should be able to run at us a little bit, which they have done. When we are behind and the clock is our enemy this is where and how teams can beat us. Our defense is a bend but don’t break, but when you have the injuries we have it doesn’t break, it crumbles. Sure, we can play most of the game decent and keep us in the game, but we cannot expect our Defense to hold off teams under those circumstances week in and week. Especially when the offense is having its own issues. We need to get a bigger lead and force teams to play us from behind. We can play from behind too, but don’t expect us to be able to score every time with a minute left in the game and one time out. It’s just not a realistic way to win week in and out.

The offensive line was questionable from the beginning of the year. However, they have played outstanding most of the year. However, they did struggle against New England. I do not believe this will be a trend, but you can clearly see when they are not up to the task how south our offensive can get. If we cannot protect Josh Allen we won’t make the playoffs. It starts there… Our special teams really needs to start giving us something back too. Not just the kicking game but also the kick receiving game. When was the last time the Bills blocked a punt or return a kickoff for a Touchdown? Stuff like that. Granted Bass is a great kicker, he has had a bad stretch. I feel like he will kick himself out of it. He has never really had a rough stretch so it is bound to happen. If we can keep it from being “a thing,” he will be fine… I trust the guy.

The last thing I want to touch on here is Coach McDermott. I make mention of this in the BLOG about the Kansas City Playoff Loss and I am getting a little tired of Coach not properly explaining himself sometimes. I get it. He doesn’t want other teams to get a philosophical grasp on what he might do in a game. However, teams already know by now. McDermott is not Belichick. He hasn’t coached in, what? 11 Super Bowls? Two with the Giants as Defensive Coordinator and nine with the Patriots. If Coach Belichick wants to be super vague about everything in a press conference he can go and do that. Coach McDermott on the other hand cannot consistently do that and it be just alright. All the situational football questions about the “Hail Murray” game. About the Kansas City Divisional loss, with 13-seconds to go and somehow the Chiefs get in Field Goal range to tie the game. The Minnesota loss last year. There have been many examples to show that Coach McDermott does not have a handle on situational football. He should be answering questions like this and for good reason. If he doesn’t want to get into these debates about football then correct the problem. Situational football is a thing that should be able to be managed at a level where it should not interfere with the coach’s ability to manage a game during the game. When questions are asked, he should answer them. As Head Coach, McDermott is like Captain Kirk in Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country. That as the captain of a starship, you are required to be responsible for the conduct and actions of your men under your command. This also means answering for them as well. If mistakes were made or are made, just be honest with us.

Tell Us Straight Up…

All coach McDermott will say is; “we discussed it,” or “I am not going to get into the specifics of that.” Well, why not coach? If he thinks it’s a negative thing to the team I get that. Then he should assume 100% of the accountability because I doubt he cares what I, the media, and the fan base think about him, personally. He cares about his team and rising above this to go on to win Super Bowls. If that is his reasoning, I would accept that, but just say it man; “Hey guys… We fucked up… We made the wrong call and didn’t know how to get out of it, so we doubled down on the prevent and it fucked us again. Right here, right now we promise our team, our players, our fans, that we will never prevent ourselves from winning a game or a chance at a championship, in this fashion, ever again.” Say that and I am with you man… When it comes to Coach that is all I want from him on these points. Just take the accountability. Tell the media, the us, the BillsMaffia that. Do it with passion, do it with intention man… We will forgive you, we will support you. We all will and do. I can live with missing the playoffs. I can live with getting just a runner up wild card game attempt. Stranger things have happened in the playoffs. Need I remind people of the Oilers comeback or what the Titians did to us? How about the wild card teams that went on to win Super Bowls? I will list them for you.

• Oakland Raiders (1980) • Denver Broncos (1997) • Baltimore Ravens (2000) • Pittsburgh Steelers (2005) • New York Giants (2007) • Green Bay Packers (2010) • Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2020)

So it is not OVER by a longshot. I hear no Thicc ladies singing. No last rights on the 2023 BUFFALO BILLS. No tribal ran dances, ran dances, huh? I BILLieve we will be there in the end. Anyway... The Good news is we are playing the Bucs on Thursday Night Football. They cannot run, pass, block or tackle either. So let’s see how the team responds. Let’s see their RESOLVE… It was also 2021 when the Bills came back and lost to the Bucs in Overtime only to rip off four straight wins after that, win the Division, blow out the Patriots in the Wild Card game and then that Kansa City game. This is still doable and even if we are 11-6, 10-7 or 9-8. If we get into the playoffs do not go to sleep on us. We plan to stay up pretty FK’n late… Go Bills…

Data and Stats on the Buffalo Bills 2021 Season:

BLOG on the Kansas City Divisional Playoff Loss

De Pugna (Latin for Fight On)

Buffalo Bills 2023 Mid-Season Review by David-Angelo Mineo 4,138 Words

#whereelsewouldyouratherbethanrighthererightnow #gobills #billsmafia #billieve #joshallen #buffalobills #letsgobuffalo #onebuffalo #TBvsBUF #tnf

[uncannyviolet]

To Art Stream or Not To Art Stream, and other musings??

Lately, I don't know why I have this urge in the back of my head where I would like to look into bringing back into art streaming. It had always been to be able to do that back in 2015 lol where you can take a break from what you're working on and talk/chat with others about art, the process of making art, share tips and tricks, and/or get some feedback when you're stuck on something. I kind of miss that aspect of art making that I had when i was attending art school...making art in a bubble is...tragically, lonesome.

Kind of want to go back into it...but I'm also hesitant. Not sure what it is, but it seems like wanting to art stream is kind of like a whole new thing since VTubers became a thing? Or there's a need for you to make it like some kind of entertainment and you have to become an entertainer to keep your audience engaged and invested lol Obviously, this is kind of trivial if you just want to stream how you want to stream...So, I began looking into it...and oh boy...My laptop was like "please don't, I'm old and on my last leg...don't speed up my death...!" XDDDD I must also add, things for streaming in the last few years have progressed like CRAZY! Not to mention their price tags being an awfully hefty one. Kind of both overwhleming and discouraging. Well, I'm still tethering and on the fence about it, so I guess I won't be doing anything until I make a concrete decision. So many things to consider.

BUT! As of late, with that thought in mind, I kept thinking about making a new OC (of sorts) who will be the avatar of this (potential) art stream thing lol And...it's been kind of fun! Also found out that there's a challenge for this month called "OC-tober", kind of nice that it's...indirectly?? related lol 

So I thought, why not write a blog post about it! So...here we are, me babbling about stuff. Have fun reading my...musings...?

I sketched this environment piece and asked some questions like "What kind of person/creature would live in a place like this?" Drew a blank until the thought of flying fish or a dragon came to mind. I always liked flying fish...and had also wanted to make a flying fish OC. And off I went with my usual kick~ "Tis time to make a yokai-flying-fish OC!"

Things are always easier said then done. I had zero ideas for a couple of days lol But on a good day, while I was watching some anime and looking at flying fish photos on google...the thought of "It would be really funny if this character's face looks like a fish's face." XDDDD So that got the ball rolling at least. Maybe more things will come if I doodle their face...And one thing led to another, we arrived got a concept (albeit at like 11PM before I should be heading off to bed...). A silly fellow without a single clue, but their face is both funny and cute. I really like the little "mochi" eyebrows and that 'w' shaped mouth lol If all else fails, I can have a cat or bunny OC XDDDD Always good to have a backup plan. ("First thing I learned from Batman" - Dick Grayson lol)

After finishing this doodle and sleeping on it, I gave it some more thought...and arrived here with ANOTHER 11PM drawings lol Wonder what other things will be coming out of this from my 11PM sessions...but at the moment, This clueless fellow is starting to take up some shape. Those mochi eyebrows are so cute lol I'm going to be having fun with these fish scales XDDDDD

Not too sure where this is going to take me, but it's kind of fun just...going with the flow. I'll have to see what happens haha Now that they have some shape, comes the next major hurdle...What to name this clueless fellow?? 

Until I get that figured out, take care~! Thanks for reading and making it this far! P.S. If you have name suggestions, do let me know lol Still drawing a blank with that to name this silly little guy.

#oc #update #random thoughts #my art: traditional #original