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stromblessed · 5 months

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Mizu's spectacles, and the levels of her disguise

In drafting some more Blue Eye Samurai meta posts, I find myself writing out the comparisons between what Mizu can and cannot hide about herself, and how that affects how she moves through the world.

Like, I get the jokes about Mizu's glasses, if only color contacts had existed back then, etc. etc., and I think (hope) that most viewers don't take the glasses jokes seriously, as in "I don't care about the suspension of disbelief because BES is a cartoon." But I wanted to write these thoughts out anyway without burying them in a text post about something else.

I think the points I'm going to lay out here are viewed very differently by different people, so please feel free to add to this post, reply, or put your thoughts in the tags!

Not only do Mizu's glasses not actually help her that much, there's surely more to Mizu's mixed race appearance than just the color of her eyes.

In my view, this was pointed out in episode 1:

I'm willing to bet most of us were expecting young Taigen to say "blue eyes," not "ROUND eyes."

Obviously this is still about Mizu's eyes, but not even spectacles can hide their shape.

I don't think the show is obligated to point out everything about Mizu's face that isn't quite as Japanese as the people around her expect. Though the creators have said that they specifically designed Mizu - and her clothes - to read both as "white" and as "Japanese," as well as both male and female. I think there's more about Mizu's features that read as "white" than just her eyes.

This is where my own headcanons start entering the picture, but it's my impression that people can just tell that Mizu looks different, whether or not they can put a finger on exactly how.

There's the little girl who looks at Mizu and then hides on the way into Kyoto:

When there's more to your face you'd like to cover up than just your eyes, big hats are a big help!

By the way, most of these examples have to come from the first half of the season, since by the second half, either Mizu is too preoccupied with fighting henchmen, or everyone Mizu is facing knows who she is already, and she therefore has no reason to hide her mixed race identity.

It's worth mentioning that the mere fact that Mizu has to hide multiple aspects of her identity - her mixed race and her sex - results in her having to choose clothes that really, really cover her up, which doesn't win her any favors either:

(Zatoichi reference, anyone?)

If it were as easy as, for example, tying her glasses to her head and wa-lah, nobody would ever know she was half-white - then (1) Mizu would've just done that long ago, and (2) Mizu wouldn't be so on guard and on tenterhooks 100% of the time the way she's depicted in the show, even when her glasses are on.

Her spectacles sure don't help her in the brothel, which is full of observant women who are trying to seduce her, meaning they get good long looks at her:

Mizu never takes her glasses off, but they still send a woman to her who has light eyes, thinking that must be what will interest a blue-eyed man:

No wonder Mizu gets mad after this, lol

So Mizu never takes her spectacles off in the brothel, it's dimly lit inside, and the women can still tell that she has blue eyes. I'm getting the sense that Mizu putting on her spectacles isn't a guarantee that people suddenly can't tell that she looks different.

And yet no one spots that she's female.

Mizu can hide her breasts, can wear her hair in the right style, can hide what's between her legs, can walk and talk and behave like a man - and she's been doing it for almost her entire life, to the point that not only is she very good at it, but the threat of being found out as female is deadly, but isn't presented in the show as omnipresent.

Let me explain.

She threatens Ringo for nearly saying the word "girl" out loud, because while she's constantly ostracized for being mixed race, being a woman traveling without a chaperone, carrying a sword, and disguised as a man will get her killed or flogged or arrested or some combination of these things.

But in addition, it's been drilled into her since she was a child that if she is discovered as female, the combination of her being mixed race and female will identify her as someone extremely specific, someone known to some bad people, and she will be killed:

I think of it as Mizu thinking to herself, "Being found out as mixed race means I'm treated badly. Being found out as mixed race and a woman means I'm dead."

Mizu's hair is cut as a child. But she isn't made to wear a big hat, or cover her eyes somehow, or anything like that. Because hiding her sex is a more successful endeavor than hiding her race.

Ringo finds out she's female by accident, but once Mizu accepts the fact that he won't rat her out, she relaxes pretty early on in the season. Because the threat of being found out as female is mitigated pretty much 99.9%, since Mizu has gotten so good at being a man. And also, because most of the time, people see what they want to see. Even if Mizu's face makes her stand out as "not 100% Japanese," no one in the world of BES looks at Mizu's clothes, her bearing, her sword, hears her voice, and will ever in a million years conclude that she is a woman, because expectations around gender roles in the Edo period were so rigid and so widely enforced.

One detail that proved this to me is after the Four Fangs fight:

Ringo takes off Mizu's clothes so he can stitch her up, then leaves her clothes off even after he's done. He doesn't even throw her cloak over her as a blanket or anything. There's a little a straw (pallet?) as a divider there on the left, but anyone could just peek around it and see Mizu and her chest bindings. (I think it's mostly there as a windbreaker.)

And Taigen is right there, but he doesn't give a shit:

Opinions probably vary hugely on this, but my impression is that because the show doesn't make any kind of deal about Taigen being in the room with Mizu here, my guess is that Mizu isn't in any danger of Taigen thinking she's female. Even when I watched the show for the first time, I assumed that Taigen had seen Mizu out of her clothes here, and that he thought nothing of it.

Eat your heart out, Li Shang (Mulan 1998). I actually do think that this scene is a direct and purposeful side-eye to that movie, lol

There's obviously some nuance to how "severe" being mixed race is compared to how "severe" being a woman is for Mizu:

After all, Swordfather can't bear to listen to Mizu confess to being a woman.

So a Japanese man can go wherever he wants, whenever he wants in BES. A Japanese woman has limited options: marriage, religion, or a brothel. A mixed-race man is an eyesore in this story. A mixed-race woman is a death sentence.

May as well eliminate the female aspect, and do what you can about the mixed-race aspect. Because that's just realistic.

Meaning Mizu can avoid the strictures Edo society places on women. But she can't avoid the repercussions that come with being mixed race. And I truly don't think that it's just because "there's no brown contacts yet."

#blue eye samurai #mizu #racism #bes #I am truly disappointed that we didnt get absolute confirmation that Taigen saw Mizus bound chest and just didnt think it was a big deal #but I still think that scene is making a point #again I dont think most people take the glasses jokes seriously #but its been bothering me ever since I first saw them #I really dont think Mizu just looks like a 100 percent Japanese person...... with blue eyes #and I bet that will be made even more obvious when she goes to London where Im sure she will meet plenty of people #who are more than happy to point out their observations to her #also I ran out of room in this post to go into it but this is also what made Mizus marriage an absolutely doomed prospect #Mikio talks about wanting to find the right creature for his lord and well... a mixed race woman is the right creature huh #he just needed a little push imo #getting kind of sad at the thought that Ringo is the only person in Mizus life who knows her whole identity AND accepts it wholly

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buckttommy · 24 days

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this isn't a horny post but. has buck even... seen a hard penis before that was not his own? like yeah yeah porn but. that's not really the same is it. not when you're not even looking. not when you don't even know that you want to look. like for all intents and purposes buck is completely virginal here and that's. ummm. that's a lot.

#like. oh. oh he's such a baby. he really is a BABY gay like sweet boy. you know nothing #you are about to get your entire perception of life and your body and your inner being absolutely fucking rearranged #especially the perception of his life like. for 30+ years he has lived in one world and it only took one kiss. one handful of seconds to no #just *change* that world but transport him to a completely different one.#everything is going to be different. from the way he approaches his politics (because it means something different when you're actually #fighting for your OWN rights) and the way he approaches his body like. and that's the real kicker for me is like #buck knows his body. he knows what he likes and this that and the other #but he doesn't actually KNOW his body because he doesn't know ALL the ways that it can feel #and all the ways that it can make HIM feel #he has not yet tasted the way his body can electrify him and render him undone and it's like #it truly is like he's becoming another person #and i know that's cheesy to say but this really is like being born again.#oh my god. i'm actively falling asleep. i don't know if this makes sense. you guys get the picture

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merrysithmas · 8 months

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when ppl see this & this, directed by the same person, and think the narrative is "anakin is evil" not "anakin is a steward of the balance, a force demi god, as was foretold on Mortis" 😂

#anakin skywalker #ahsoka #not my gifs #if you havent seen TCW i really feel like stock in your anakin opinion is p low #you need to watch it to get a full picture of his journey and his purpose in the galaxy #he was good and evil #he is quite literally a demi god #he is always and will always be both #his ultimate struggle was wrestling with that and failing it in life bc he couldnt accept it #he was a slave to the destiny the force created him for #he was a slave to the sith #he was a servant of the jedi #he is quintessenially never truly free #he hated and loved the jedi in equal measure #he never loved the sith #he is balanced but OF THE FORCE #he was manipulated by the dark side but he is MADE OF THE FORCE #therefore he will always stand for the force the jedi way and the light #which is why he is a forceghost #star wars #u all know how i get when i put my stanakin shoes on #anyway the ogt and prequels are buddhist allegories and anakin isnt beholden to western concepts of morality in that sense as a character #in a mythic literary epic sense #also obviously he isnt human either #which is a big ring-a-ling

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kyouka-supremacy · 6 months

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Yeah having infinite alternative universes where the same two people love each other no matter the world no matter the time is nice but have you considered dedicating your entire existence to find the only universe where your loved one is happy, even if they're going to hate you in that universe, even if you yourself have to die in that universe, because their happiness always came before everything else? Because you never mattered as long as they were happy? Have you considered it??????

#I'm having feelings over Beast odazai like what the hell. seriously what the hell.#Like Dazai‚ literally‚ unarguably the most selfish character in the entire thing‚ gives up //everything// for one person?? Uh??????#Dazai who never found meaning in living dedicated his whole existence to make the world beautiful to one person?#Found his meaning in making that person happy‚ and found it agreeable to die once that was accomplished??#“But I do have one regret: I’ll never be able to read that novel you complete one day” GIRL???????????#Bro I love everyone and I can't for the life of me get truly invested in a Dazai ship for self-explanatory reasons-#but man that might really be the most romantic ship of them all.#what the hell. what the hell. hello #osamu dazai #odazai #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd beast #mine #q.#21/01/23

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medicalunprofessional · 3 months

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just a game!

#psychonauts #fred bonaparte #crispin whytehead #nightmaretheater #Yearrppp…Ohh i really like this one. Alor #Time on canvas: 7 hours #(and likely more; i made a few other canvases trying to figurr out poses and deleted em)#really channeling vocaloid amvs for this one… if you feel me……#ugh. Ughhh. Ughhh… ive been thinking abt them alot lately #was rewathing the vault viewer archive. Goddamn #So real. I think the gaming experience was bad for both of them. If you get me.#like. fred ofc. But. Something happened to crispin too.#he looks so absent minded and unsmug at the start. He was truly twisted!!! Man!#on top of. You know. Being locked in an asylum. As much as a villain crispin is i still feel sympathy for him #I think he was struggling. for control. Of his life..Maybe

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chirpsythismorning · 3 months

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“Mike said his life started the day he found El in the woods, which was technically the following night. What he said had nothing to do with offending Will because he went missing the day before.”

#byler #ignore the logistics of it #mike’s brain thinks of Nov 6th as the day Will went missing aka the day his life stopped #he met El after a whole day of worrying about will #its the day they had to see etched on will’s tombstone #Nov 7th is just an extension of him finding out and doing everything to get him back #nov 7th evening is a whole 24 hrs later #so yes not the same day #but it doesn’t make it any less incriminating #it’s not that Mike didn’t exist until he found el #it’s that it stopped that day #and then started again when he got hope will was alive #so many lines in mike’s monologue felt like lies mixed with a dose of truth #friends don’t lie co-founder and his loopholes 🙄#I think it’s interesting also that we never really get Mike and Will talking about his time in the UD #the one time they do it’s brief and mostly about uncovering what’s happening to Will in that moment in s2 #but like we never see them talk outright about what happened or how the party all coped #so the prospects of him finding out how Mike truly felt back then…#in a scene where mike explains the ‘i feel like my life started-‘ line to Will #(and even more importantly the audience who has to buy into this)#that could be quite something…

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persimmontea · 4 months

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A small gif set of *that* part of Shoma's programs the past few seasons ⋆˙⟡♡

Happy birthday Shoma! Your skating is truly special and unmatched. Wishing you the best in your journey towards finding your self-satisfaction~ Hope you have a great year ahead of you! ⋆˙⟡♡

#shoma uno #figure skating #fskateedit #my gifs #mine: shoma #birthday post #aaaaa this is kinda random #but yeah I wanted to celebrate Shoma's beautiful skating #he just! keeps getting better hhhhh #really hope he can find /that/ performance in his standards #something that he can truly be happy about once he finishes his program #and has that rewatch value for him #obviously as a fan #shoma has loads of programs and performances i'd watch again and again #but i hope he too can feel the same about his programs #heck gpf 2022 is one of my faves ever which is why i included it here lol #even if he doesn't feel like he was satisfied performance wise ksfdj #anw ily shoma hope you keep thriving in life

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blueskittlesart · 10 months

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cold fruit in a hot kitchen (so i had this great watermelon last weekend)

#so I had this great watermelon last weekend. and the thing is it probably wasn't even that great of a watermelon #but I was four hours into an eight hour shift and we had thrown out all the watermelon salad because no one was eating it #and then our manager ran in and yelled that the client really fucking wanted watermelon salad.#so like six of us servers started frantically chopping watermelon. and the kitchen got really hot #in the way it does when everyone inside it is really stressed because there's no fucking watermelon salad #and after we chopped all the watermelon and the client got their fucking watermelon we all had a moment #where we looked at the remaining watermelon and we were so hot and cocktail hour was almost over anyway and the salads were all plated #and we all went for the watermelon and we ate it with the kind of rabid intensity you only get while eating cold watermelon in a hot kitche #and it was the best watermelon I have ever tasted and several days later i am still chasing the high of that fucking watermelon #and the thing is i know it isn't even the watermelon i'm actually missing #it's the feeling of cool liquid on hot skin and the feeling of a crisis averted and the feeling of camaraderie #that comes with devouring a watermelon in a hot kitchen with six other people who you have nothing in common with except that watermelon.#i don't dream of labor but i am dreaming now of being 4 hours into an eight hour shift eating watermelon in a hot kitchen.#i dream of laughing around the cold fruit in my mouth. I crave that watermelon like i'll die without it.#< honest to god this is real and that watermelon left such an impact on me that i had to draw it and write this. having a normal one #maybe this is insane but working in a team of people you truly like to do something you actually enjoy is so underrated #if only they fucking paid me i could work as a server for the rest of my life. unironically #skribbles

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perhaps-in-anotherdream · 23 days

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[CN] Li Zeyan’s MQ: Burning Imprints (Eng Translation) - Part 2

⌚Warning⌚ This post contains detailed spoilers for a mind quest, 灼痕, that is yet to be released on the global server! ♡

✦ Part 1 || Part 2 || ASMR

🔞 Additional Warning 🔞 Same old but more severe warning this time LOL. The steamy parts of the MQ are as explicit as they can get, i.e., some of the most explicit stuff you’ll read in a CN otome game right now, so if you don’t qualify for the game’s 17+ rating (CN server), I’d very highly recommend that you don’t proceed under the cut~ :>

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

Read part 1: here!

──

【CHAPTER 5】

The pitter-patter of water in the shower ceases. I wipe my dripping wet hair as I walk to the mirror, raising my hand to clear away the damp mist from its surface.

During the movement, I inadvertently trigger a slight twinge in my sore shoulders. I let out a soft hiss and pick up my phone, intending to search for effective ways to alleviate weariness.

My peripheral vision falls upon the work group that has been silent for several days, causing me to pause mid-gaze.

I wonder if the layout of the remaining placement sites is too discreet; it seems like the progress in collecting the bracelets has hit a snag lately.

For several consecutive days, there hasn’t been anyone coming to the “Elven Emissaries” to register with their bracelets. The operations of all the other projects are running seamlessly, with no slip-ups requiring documentation.

My schedule has become increasingly free. Every day, I accompany Li Zeyan to explore the restaurants on the island, trying all kinds of dishes prepared from locally sourced ingredients.

Alternatively, we also engage in activities such as diving, parasailing and so on, having a blast to our heart’s content before returning to our little cabin hand in hand, basking in the warmth of the evening breeze.

The relaxed ambiance has gradually allowed me to unwind from the intermittent stress that work brings, making me feel as if I’m truly on vacation.

I close the browser on my phone, lazily comb through my still-damp hair with my fingertips, and push the bathroom door open a crack.

MC: Li Zeyan, my waist is still sore.

MC: Not feeling up for vigorous activities today. How about we go for a spa treatment or a Thai massage to relax instead?

There is no response in my ears, but the intermittent sound of his voice can be faintly heard.

LZY (on the call): At this stage, if the bracelet is found, just directly… no need to…

LZY (on the call): As for the remaining progress, just wait for…

Progress, bracelet… Why does it sound like this is related to the collection task?

–

Without delay, I gently push the door ajar, finding Li Zeyan seated on the chair, his gaze lowered as he looks at his iPad.

With one hand supporting his Bluetooth headset, he occasionally swipes across the screen, appearing to be ruminating about something.

Upon hearing my voice, Li Zeyan lifts his head in my direction. I point at the screen for him, silently mouthing the words––

MC: [mouthing] Let– me– have– a– look– too––

I snuggle into his arms in the most familiar practice, intending to take a closer look at what he is up to.

However, Li Zeyan smoothly turns the iPad to face the other direction, his voice maintaining its composure as he continues to inquire through the earpiece.

LZY: [gives you a teasing glance before redirecting his gaze] What’s the new development you mentioned?

Confused about what’s going on, I move myself to the side he has shifted the device to. But Li Zeyan, as if on purpose, raises his arm at an unhurried pace.

LZY: [tosses you another mischievous glance before withdrawing] Continue.

It’s quite a rare sight to have him act in such a childish manner. I freeze for a moment, my initial curiosity now spiking to its maximum.

After thinking for a while, I resort to being a rascal and simply seat myself in Li Zeyan’s lap, attempting to suppress him in this manner.

Li Zeyan’s breath hitches for a moment. The body in contact with mine tenses briefly, halting all movement.

MC: Hehe, let’s see how you dodge now~

Thinking I have succeeded in my plan, I raise my eyebrows at Li Zeyan with an air of complacency, then lift my hand to climb up his arm.

Li Zeyan supports his headset with one hand, and there isn’t a single ripple in his expression as he watches me drawing closer to him. As I move, a few drops of water drip onto his face along the ends of my still-wet hair.

Splat.

He stares in my direction, the light in his eyes now dyed with moisture. The next moment, the palm resting on the armrest suddenly lands on my waist.

LZY: [still on the call, while looking at you] Inform the others to proceed with the original plan as previously arranged.

The force around my waist suddenly tightens with his words, clamping down on my provocative actions.

Just as I’m about to struggle, the tight body under my legs shifts slightly. Accompanied by the squeaking sound of the chair moving across the floor, Li Zeyan suddenly stands up from the armchair.

MC: …!

My body suddenly loses its fulcrum, and I cling tightly to his neck with both arms, desperately exerting every effort to suppress the exclamation that’s about to escape my throat, for fear that the person on the other end of the headphones might hear something.

But he effortlessly holds me up with one arm, a practice he couldn’t be more familiar with, then begins to walk at a leisurely pace, neither too fast nor too slow.

With each step he takes, my body collides uncontrollably with his again and again. And being restrained by his control, I’m also unable to create distance between us.

I bite my lips tightly, desperately, having no alternative but to tense up my body to endure it. Despite having only covered a few steps of distance, a thin layer of sweat has already formed on my cheeks––

Until the brief sensation of falling hits me, and I land heavily on the rumpled sheets. Li Zeyan tosses the headphones aside and sits leaning in towards me.

LZY: You’re becoming more and more unscrupulous.

His breath, carrying with it a burning warmth, teasingly caresses my face, keeping at a distance that is neither too close nor too far. His dressing gown has opened slightly during our earlier movements, exposing the dark red marks on his shoulder.

My heart rate uncontrollably accelerates for a few beats.

MC: It’s all because you’ve been playing coy with me… Let me see what you’re up to!

MC: I’m a part of the staff; I won’t get in the way of you guys.

Li Zeyan doesn’t seem to pay heed to my words, casually picking up a grape from a nearby plate.

LZY: I’ve learned this from a certain someone.

LZY: When you don’t want to show me the drafts of your proposals, you are much more of a rascal than this.

As he says this, he peels off the grape skin at an unhurried pace and bites into its luscious pulp. A sheen of grape juice colors his thin lips, which he then raises his hand to wipe away.

Despite pouting at him, my curiosity still gets the better of me. I peel another grape and bring it to his lips, attempting to sound him out.

MC: Well, then, could you perhaps briefly reveal some information? Like, where do you plan to search next, or…

I’m still in the middle of speaking when a sudden burst of warmth is felt at my fingertips.

Li Zeyan bites into the grape I’ve held out, and seemingly inadvertently, his teeth graze my fingertips, sending a tingling sensation through me as if I were being electrified.

My fingertips involuntarily flinch, but my wrist is firmly caught in his grip.

My body, which was already slightly tilted, suddenly loses balance, and I tumble into his arms.

LZY: The benefits of just one grape are far from enough.

LZY: If you want to pry out information, I’ll need more sincere bargaining chips.

MC: Just the other day, I was perfectly fine with you watching me! And now, after getting my appetite whetted, you suddenly cut off any further information… you’re quite the rare being!

Li Zeyan hooks his finger on the sash of my bathrobe and slowly slides it outward.

As the fabric falls with a rustling sound, my body shivers momentarily from the cool air. Soon after, I am covered by his scorching body heat.

Gasping, I try to press my lips together, but his fingertips slip in. Unlike last time, they don’t penetrate as deep, just resting between my teeth and stopping my attempt to close my lips.

MC: W-Why are you doing this again…

LZY: Why can’t I?

A low, husky voice sounds from behind me. Though it’s a question, it carries an irresistible implication.

LZY: It’s just the two of us here now.

LZY: Don’t hold back. Let me hear you.

A layer of moisture clouds my vision. I moan uncontrollably, biting down on his finger.

MC: [dragging out between her moans] …And you point fingers at me�� when clearly you’re the most unscrupulous person there is…

A loose laughter drifts from beside my ear, accompanied by a sudden penetrating weight.

LZY: [as he moves inside her x1] I thought a certain someone already knew this about me.

LZY: [x2] …go on, “accuse” me a little more.

LZY: [x3] Perhaps this way, I’d be willing to give you whatever you want.

—

——————- p.s. Interval, and as you’ll see in the 2nd next sentence, god knows how many times they did it LMFAO ——————-

—

In the end, I still couldn’t coax any words out of Li Zeyan’s mouth.

Amidst the steaming afternoon heat, we’ve worn away the better part of the day once again until even our heads felt dizzy from satisfaction.

I lazily nestle in Li Zeyan’s arms, almost wanting to ignore everything else and simply “wasting” a whole day by his side.

Until the sound of a notification alert chimes from under the pillow.

MC: [reading the text] “Two more guests dropped by in the afternoon to submit their bracelets… Currently, we’re only one bracelet away from the completion of the collection task…”

…so, in other words, the conditions for unlocking the hidden surprise could be met at any time?

I close my eyes, silently running through a few minutes of mental preparation. I push myself up from the bed and sit upright until Li Zeyan’s arm loops around my waist from behind.

LZY: [poor man LOL, laughing softly] Where are you off to now?

I instinctively want to tell him, but then remembering what he did earlier, I let out a soft “humph” instead.

MC: …I’m not telling you. But anyway, received a notification in the group, so I’m heading to the “Elves’ Home Bar” to see what’s going on.

I nudge his arm as I say this and hear him let out a sigh interspersed with a little helplessness.

LZY: [chuckles helplessly] There are quite a few employees from LFG relaxing in the entertainment area there as well.

LZY: Come on, I’ll go with you.

—

The sports car parks outside the streamlined building, and I trail behind Li Zeyan as we make our way inside. [6]

Upon pushing open the sturdy wooden door, the sound of melodious music wafts towards us.

Warm-colored lights dance around the spacious space, illuminating the distant bar counter and the dazzling lineup of floor-to-ceiling wine cabinets.

The recessed seating arrangements create the outline of semi-enclosed spaces where the employees of LFG are gathered in small groups, chatting, laughing, or playing games. The atmosphere couldn’t be more relaxed.

Catching the sound at the entrance, Goldman inadvertently glances over and, upon seeing Li Zeyan and me, sets down the cards in his hand and stands up.

Goldman: CEO Li, you’re here too.

Goldman: We have something to report to you. I wonder if it would be convenient for you to talk now?

Goldman clears his throat, his expression as serious as ever. I nod at him in greeting and whisper to Li Zeyan.

MC: Why don’t you go ahead and check it out? I happen to have some things to attend to as well~

Upon finishing my sentence, I swiftly make my way to the back of the bar counter and find a staff member. I cast a quick glance towards Li Zeyan, then quietly inquire in a lowered voice.

MC: How’s the progress on the collection task now?

The staff behind the counter slides a glass of champagne over to me and answers in a similarly hushed tone.

Staff Member: The progress is still stuck where it was in the latest report, but something is a little off.

Staff Member: Clearly, we’re just one bracelet away from completion, but they seem to have lost their drive, and they’ve been here playing cards and board games… Could it be that the difficulty is too high and it’s affecting their motivation?

I take the champagne and ponder for a moment as I take a sip.

MC: But given the amount of countermeasures they came up with before, they won’t give up halfway… they must have some other plan.

MC: I’ll find another opportunity to look into the situation. If it’s really because of the design of the hiding spots being obstructive, I’ll have the staff controlling the lights make adjustments.

As I say this, my gaze drifts towards those people chatting and laughing relaxedly in the distance, and I inadvertently lock eyes with Li Zeyan.

The person next to him seems to have just finished a game, and a ripple of laughter passes from the group. Another person sorts out the deck of cards and asks Li Zeyan if he is interested in joining.

Li Zeyan sets down his wine glass and suddenly looks in my direction.

My heart skips a beat as I hear him speaking in a calm voice.

LZY: I will fancy a game, actually––

LZY: ––If the “Elven Emissary” over there is willing to accept my challenge.

──────────────

[Tidbits]:

[6] ! NERDING ALERT LOL. The architectural name of the building design is more popularly known as “Streamline Moderne.” Though the geometric shapes and curves make these structures look futuristic, these designs actually emerged in the 1920s and reached their peak in the 1930s-40s, and are known to be timeless. I do want to applaud Li Zeyan’s content team b/c this was such a little detail effortlessly tied with his car model- the Mercedes-Benz 300SL Gullwing (produced from 1954-57). Widely known to be another timeless classic and a groundbreaking car for its time– kudos to his team for never failing to incorporate such subtle details, though unfortunately, I can’t gush about each and every one of them b/c that will turn bigger than the MQ translation itself ahah. also, not LZY being the only guy who got his car drawn into the event special background arts LMAO 💸😂

—

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

—

【CHAPTER 5, INTERWOVEN EMOTIONS】

[Tidbits]: This is a bonus chapter (equivalent to the memory silhouette in SP MQs), described in the narrator’s POV, comprising moments before Chapter 6~ 🥺

────────

Set against melodious background music, a rather ostentatious scene unfolds on the movie screen.

The protagonist’s eyes shimmer with tears as they are about to deliver a passionate confession of love, and just at this moment, several indistinct murmurs sound from beside him.

Li Zeyan turns his head to look at the girl sleeping soundly next to him and chuckles softly.

The movie being screened at the island’s movie theater today is a classic example of a crowd-pleaser but lacking substance–– a grand setting with overly dramatic plotlines.

Despite the fact that this genre of film isn’t the girl’s cup of tea, she was the one who spontaneously suggested coming here. And sure enough, she nodded off halfway through.

LZY: [smiles helplessly] …

He sighs almost inaudibly, his gaze fixed on the gentle play of light dancing through the girl’s long eyelashes, casting a subtle shadow under her eyes.

These days, she often has to juggle work responsibilities now and then, and she clearly hasn’t let herself relax properly.

At the moment, the person really basking in the enjoyment of his vacation is just him alone.

Li Zeyan lowers his gaze and picks up the blanket nearby, draping it over the girl so that she can sleep more soundly.

Buzz—

His phone’s notification suddenly rings out for a moment, only to be silenced as he swiftly presses the mute button.

Li Zeyan walks out of the screening room with light footsteps and closes the door behind him before answering the call. Goldman’s voice sounds on the other end.

Goldman: CEO, we’ve got a handle on the locations of the remaining bracelets. It’s only the whereabouts of the last one we haven’t been able to track down, as of now.

Goldman: Would you want to consider mobilizing the rest of the employees and get them to participate as well?

LZY: No need. They’re all on vacation now. Let everyone who wants to unwind enjoy their time off peacefully.

LZY: Those who are interested can continue exploring in their leisure time, but do not put any pressure on them either.

LZY: Inform them using your account. Just updating the group with the clues that have been found will suffice. I’ll keep up the search.

Upon receiving a response from the other end of the line, Li Zeyan ends the call and walks in the direction of the screening room at an unhurried pace.

The project area along the coast and the highly popular tourist spots have been searched and ruled out one by one over the past few days… The location of the last bracelet seems to be a little too discreet.

Li Zeyan’s fingertips absentmindedly trace the phone’s surface, the sound of the girl’s expectant voice playing in his mind.

“‘The harvest reaped from a certain someone’s efforts during this time has indeed been worthwhile.’… I want to hear you say these words personally after seeing the surprise.~”

LZY: [laughs helplessly] …The difficulty level is set rather too high for a vacation experience.

Even as Li Zeyan murmurs his discontent under his breath, there is a touch of gentleness in his eyes.

He has closely witnessed the hard work the girl put into this project in recent days. And if he can help it, he doesn’t want her dedication to go in vain.

And even though she hasn’t said anything directly on purpose, she’s been occasionally dropping hints that “she wants this task to be realized as soon as possible”— whether it’s through her words or through deliberate or inadvertent actions…

Li Zeyan’s steps come to an abrupt stop.

The screening schedule for the theater is arranged early in the morning. She should have already known from the outset that the content of this film wasn’t something she’d be interested in.

Given that, why was she insistent on bringing him here?

After contemplating for a moment, Li Zeyan lifts his foot and changes his direction. He doesn’t enter the screening room and instead returns along the path he had taken with the girl.

Before long, he comes to a stop on the stairs of the theater.

LZY: [extremely helplessly and indulgently] Dummy.

Li Zeyan says softly, his voice tinged with the gentle hint of a smile.

A beaded coconut shell bracelet hangs quietly on the railing above, a lustrous sheen haloing it.

—

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

—

【CHAPTER 6】

After only a brief moment of contemplation, I stand up and take a seat at the other end of the round table where Li Zeyan is sitting, ready to hear the rules––

First, both parties will receive five cards each, which will remain undisclosed. Upon obtaining the cards, each party can choose to propose to exchange some of their cards with a third party or keep them as they are. Then, they will proceed with placing the bets.

Once everything is finalized, the cards will be revealed, and victory will be determined by comparing the ranks of the card combination.

The rules don’t sound that complicated, so I nod to Goldman, signaling that we can begin.

The shimmering yellow glow of the light dances on the marble table top. After a brief shuffle, five cards are respectively placed in front of me and Li Zeyan.

MC: You know, we haven’t yet decided what the wager should be.

In order to test the waters, I intentionally speak up, watching as he calmly flips his cards over, shooting me a glance.

LZY: How about a wish?

LZY: Even if it doesn’t comply with the “rules” of this island, we still have to fulfill for the other person.

Whether intentionally or otherwise, his pronunciation of the word “rules” seems to carry extra emphasis. I blink, and a realization suddenly strikes me.

The progress of the bracelet collection task has currently hit a snag… Perhaps Li Zeyan wants to gain clues through this method?

MC: Yeah, sure thing.

Saying this, I glance at my own cards, my heart pounding in my chest. To my surprise, luck has favored me this round–– I have Two Pair among the five cards.

Out of the corner of my eye, I watch him intermittently tapping his fingertips on the table. Displaying such subtle gestures of contemplation likely means his cards aren’t as good.

I have to seize this opportunity and compromise a little bit.

MC: I want to swap cards.

LZY: [simultaneously] I want to swap cards.

As the deep, heavy hum of the music interweaves, our voices coincidentally collide with each other. Li Zeyan and I hold each other’s gaze for a moment before he calmly takes out three cards to exchange with Goldman.

I also trade my Two Pair with Goldman, acquiring a few new cards in return. Then, following Goldman’s cue, I spread out my cards on the table.

And just like that, the game is settled in a moment–– Li Zeyan’s Joker with a four-flush clearly outmatches my high cards.

Even as I’m trying to maintain my composure, I still breathe a sigh of relief, my eyes crinkling into a smile as I turn to Li Zeyan.

MC: CEO Li’s move to swap the poor cards for such an amazing hand was rather wise, I must say.

Li Zeyan doesn’t say anything and only arches an eyebrow, while Goldman beside him clears his throat with a cough.

Goldman: Actually, CEO Li’s original hand was a straight, so it wasn’t bad either.

A straight… that’s still better than my original Two Pair, isn’t it?

MC: …Then why did you take the risk of changing cards?

LZY: [chuckles softly] Just to be cautious.

LZY: After all, judging from a certain someone’s subtle cues, her hand must have been pretty good.

LZY: Since the Joker was already in my possession, there was a high chance the new cards would either form a flush or above, so it was worth the gamble.

Calculating the probability in mind from his description, I can’t help but widen my slightly as I look at Li Zeyan.

The interval was only about ten seconds or so, and this man calculated everything so fast even within that window!

MC: [mumbling to herself] Had I known earlier, I wouldn’t have gone easy. At least, I could’ve lost with some dignity…

I mutter under my breath in a voice only I can hear, watching as Li Zeyan rises from the seat and addresses me.

LZY: [and he still hears it LMAO, ofc he does] A bet’s a bet.

LZY: Now, you should accompany me to fulfill my wish.

─

───────

[Tidbits]: Just in case it eludes anyone, they are actually playing their version of exclusive poker. I’m not gonna explain the specific terms or the game b/c it’d be a long ass explanation. But just wanted to point out that while MC was playing to have Li Zeyan win the game, the man just really wanted to win LMAO– and why, you’ll find out in a bit~ 🥺

────────

We take our leave from the entertainment room. The nearby and distant buildings are already veiled by the gathering darkness of the night.

The streamlined sports car zooms through the night, racing towards the highest point of the island, and it soon pulls into a secluded parking garage.

Keeping an intermediate distance, the sports car comes to a slow stop by the food-to-ceiling windows. Lights from the surroundings spill a surfeit of light through the glass, making it so that it seems we’re almost close enough to touch by just reaching out.

…What a coincidence, this is the best spot for enjoying the “hidden scenery”!

Everything seems to have fallen perfectly in place, and my heartbeat instantly quickens a little. Li Zeyan turns his head sideways and casts me a casual glance.

LZY: Come on, let’s enjoy the night scenery first.

The door on the driver’s side opens silently, and Li Zeyan seems about to rise from his seat and get out.

MC: Hang on, you haven’t yet told me, what’s the wish you want me to fulfill for you~

I grab his sleeve at flying speed, but he still maintains his calm and composed demeanor.

LZY: I don’t think there’s any need to rush it at the moment.

MC: …but this is a task that must be done eventually! If you don’t tell me, I won’t be able to set my mind at ease~

With my hopeful gaze fixed on him, Li Zeyan ponders for a moment.

LZY: [YOU CAN’T SEE ME BUT I’M PRACTICALLY IN TEARS RN] Well then, from this moment onwards, leave all your time for me and me alone.

MC: [confused] …?

I find myself momentarily doubting if I’ve heard him wrong.

MC: Are you sure you want something so simple? You know you could take this opportunity to get your hands on some even more “impossible” terms!

I subtly stress the word “impossible,” but Li Zeyan seems to have missed my hint and simply gives me a nod.

MC: …Li Zeyan, you’re really a dummy!

I straddle his lap and punch him on the shoulder, feeling a little depressed.

MC: You clearly said yourself, that you wanted to realize the collection task! Then why not seize this opportunity and ask me––

LZY: Ask you about the location to activate this surprise?

And just like that, my hidden thoughts are exposed by him. I stare into his eyes, finding myself a little astonished.

Li Zeyan lifts his hand and runs his finger down my chin, signaling me to pull myself together.

LZY: You’re looking in the wrong direction, turn your head.

I follow the direction his finger points at and, somewhat perpexedly, look out the floor-to-ceiling window.

In the next second, it’s as if an invisible switch has been pressed, and the outline of the entire island is suddenly illuminated by magnificent lights.

The resplendent yet gentle lights, akin to a cascade of stars falling from the vast expanse of the night sky, delineate the long and winding curves of the coastline.

And just like that, the scene I have seen repeatedly in the design drafts and renderings suddenly unfolds before my eyes without warning. My lips part, and my heart suddenly skips a few beats.

…During this whole time, as I spent monitoring the progress, I imagined countless times how Li Zeyan would react when he saw it.

He would probably smile, wouldn’t he? Or perhaps, he wouldn’t even be able to take his eyes off of it.

Harboring such anticipation in mind, I always wanted to achieve the completion of this task as soon as possible, so that he could enjoy this perfect surprise.

Yet, as this scene suddenly materializes before me, I find myself becoming the one who can’t tear her eyes away.

—

────────

[Tidbits]: Sorry to break the flow, but just a little refresher/ reminder as to why MC’s surprise is so significant and emotional (p.s. the BGM here is the 3rd anniv. theme btw 😭)– in S1 CH11, Li Zeyan first told MC how looking at the city lights from a height would quell his anxiety and worries. From then on, it has become one of LZY’s most prominent themes (night, city lights, and meteors). We also saw the reversal of it in the winter world (Only Tonight SP), where MC told Li Zeyan how looking at the city lights would remind her of her special person, and it calmed her down, too. Aside from the little scattered ones, some major moments where we’ve seen the significance of this reference– S1 CH 37 farewell scene, S2 CH 4 re-bonding scene (at the hospital again), S2 CH 40 memory returning, LZY’s 5th birthday etc. This is why MC’s own surprise apparently takes her aback just as much here, too~ ꒦ິ꒳꒦ິ🙏

────────────

A soft chuckle rings in my ears, and I finally snap out of my daze.

Only to find that Li Zeyan’s gaze is fixed intently on me, and I see countless lights and myself mirrored in his eyes.

MC: You had already guessed what the hidden scenery was, didn’t you?

Li Zeyan responds with a soft hum, his palm gently caressing my wrist.

LZY: After all, a certain someone did say it was something worth appreciating with someone you hold dear.

LZY: Since every single element of it was designed by you, I reckoned my preferences were taken into account subconsciously.

LZY: During my morning runs these past few days, I scouted for locations on the island that would offer a breathtaking view. And, combined with the information gathered from the group, I did indeed make this discovery.

His voice carries a sense of ease, and interlaced with it is a confidence of calmly accepting love. A soft “hmph” escapes my lips, and I can’t resist pressing on for more details.

MC: Had I known earlier… I should have chosen my words more carefully when making the introduction.

MC: Come to think of it, the bracelets should have all been collected a while back… You were simply keeping it under wraps so that you could unveil it now, weren’t you?

Li Zeyan doesn’t deny it, leaning back into a relaxed posture.

LZY: Had you known in advance, you wouldn’t have felt the surprise.

I blink my eyes and speak subconsciously.

MC: But this surprise wasn’t prepared for me in the first place––

LZY: [cuts her off] Why can’t it be for you?

As he says this, the touch of resigned laughter colors his baritone voice.

LZY: [lets out the most helpless, gentlest of chuckles] When you persuaded me to come, you clearly said we’d be on vacation together.

LZY: Why is that after “tricking” me into coming here, more often than not, you seem to be so on edge and distracted by all sorts of work related matters?

As he speaks, his fingertips brush my head, causally removing my headwear.

—

The delicate ornament lands soundlessly onto the carpeted floor of the car. A few strands of hair by my cheeks trail downward, causing a slight tickling sensation.

I lower my gaze and belatedly piece together the way I’ve had an increasing amount of free time these past few days, as well as the bet he cleverly orchestrated and won. Suddenly, a realization dawns on me.

MC: …So, everything that happened the past few days was part of your plan?

LZY: After all, a certain someone didn’t have that awareness.

LZY: So, I could only use my ways to bring you out to escape the confines of rules and identities.

As I gaze into that pair of serene eyes, I feel as if a flower is blooming within me, my innermost being silently overflowing with an exquisite sweetness.

The corners of my lips involuntarily curve upward as I lean in, resting my forehead against his. I feel enfolded by the warmth and breath of the person in front of me, and he hems me in completely, not leaving even the slightest gap between us.

MC: So, you’ve been planning this all along, step by step… guess this falls under Teacher Li’s “aesthetics of delay,” doesn’t it? [7]

LZY: Of course. Moreover, the one who gets to immerse in the enjoyment shouldn’t be just me alone.

Our warm breaths intertwine, and I can almost see my own reflection mirrored in his eyes.

A soft laugh escapes me as I lean in towards him.

MC: Well, now it’s time for me, the “dummy student,” to be proactive and respond.

────────

[Tidbits]:

[7] Putting the note here before we get into the intense™ scene again LOL– the “aesthetics of delay” part is a throw-back to Li Zeyan’s top-up SP card– “Exuberant Fruits of Patience” (aka When Love Matures in EN). I’d highly recommend re/reading that to find out the significance of the throwback here~ 😉

────────

—

I plant a kiss on his lips as I say this. The palm supporting my hips suddenly tightens.

His lips wrap around mine, neither too fast nor too slow, stealing all my oxygen away at a leisurely pace.

Amidst our entwined breaths, even the air lingering between us burns hot. I nibble on his lips, only to be answered with an even more intensified demand.

Sapped of all my strength, it’s not until I give a push on his shoulder that I manage to catch a sliver of space to breathe.

The night air, carrying with it a slight chill, embraces our fiery body heat. I shiver involuntarily and reach out, yearning to steady myself on his chest, but the progressive intensity of the thrusts leaves me swaying back and forth.

MC: Li Zeyan, please let me lean on you a little more…

Allow me to find a mast to rely on and continue to meet the deeper waves.

I’m not sure if I’ve actually said these words aloud, but the panting in my ears suddenly grows heavier. At the same time, my wrists are held captive by a palm soaked with moisture.

Accompanied by the rustling sound of a tie twining around, my wrists are bound and looped around his neck.

MC: [moaning] Li Zeyan…

Murmuring, I turn my head to the side and bite Li Zeyan’s equally damp shoulder.

He doesn’t speak and only releases a restrained pant, holding me even tighter in his arms.

The magnificent lights, the shimmering reflections… the colors on the car window sway, gradually becoming blurred in my vision––

–– Until, akin to fireworks, everything converges into a burst of white light and explodes in my mind.

I take a deep breath, and in the all-consuming embrace of our entangled bodies, lift my hand and run my fingers through the wet tips of his hair.

MC: Li Zeyan, do you still find this delayed surprise to your satisfaction?

With those profound eyes staring fixedly at me, he leans his head in and gently plants a kiss on the inside of my arm.

LZY: Of course… I find it even more satisfactory than you could imagine.

LZY: And I also find myself to be even more addicted (to you).

His lingering kisses wreathe upwards, charged with a passion that can set everything ablaze.

I almost forget how to breathe, as I feel even the last spark of my consciousness grow burning hot and melt into the flowing night.

The world fades into distance and obscurity, leaving only the fiery and violent pounding of our tightly pressed hearts.

And so, I close my eyes, sinking into his temperature once more.

──────────────────────────────────────────

#gonna beat my own drum Imao 🫣 but i’m really proud of this translation piece- feel like it was done justice for how long of a wait this was #+ i tried my very best to get the emotions across to make up for not being able to write the essay as much as possible~ 🥺#now coming into gushing -- WHERE DO I FIND WHAT THEY HAVE AAAHHH 😭#LZY and his heroine truly and really are relationship goals- setting the bars to such surreal heights(/ω\。)#the way their instinct is to always give the other the very best of all + LZY BEING THE BEST LIFE PARTNER A GIRL COULD ASK FOR AS USUAL #mlqc victor #mlqc li zeyan #mlqc #mr love victor #mr love queen's choice #恋与制作人 #李泽言 #love and producer #mlqc cn #mlqc spoilers #mlqc translations

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spikeface · 3 months

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Based on (x).

#teen wolf #scott mccall #twedit #ok so yeah this edit was sparked by how poorly melissa was explored in s5 #and in general how they dropped her as anything but an occasional prop to tell scott to get back out there after 2x10 #but i hope it's not taken as bashing because that's truly not how i mean it #i feel like both scott and melissa don't know how to talk to each other #not because they don't love each other or want the best for each other #but s1 melissa already starts out not knowing scott's life very well #she's interested and trying to support him and make time for him #but is swamped with work and overwhelmed with being a single parent #and would also desperately like her own life if it's possible #scott is already working to support them and agonizes over costing them anything - money time attention #they start the series already without an equilibrium and it only gets worse as scott becomes a werewolf #i think melissa also has a survivor's mentality of soldiering on #and so that's also the advice scott is getting #even when what they both really need is time to rest and connect #and it just made me so sad that scott's flashback was about being hospitalized #but his mother was there and he was being care for #whereas now #he's back at the hospital #alone #desperately in need of care

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kindaorangey · 2 months

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once again screaming crying throwing up about the fact that infinity train was prematurely cancelled despite being contracted for 5 seasons.

#infinity train #like i really really want all 8 seasons. & i really really want present day!amelia and all that would come with that (e.g. hazel and grace)#but i feel like i would be so much more content with the show's cancellation if we had the bow on top of it all that was the amelia season #because she was the villain from s1 #the fallout of her villanry births the antagonists from s2.#she appears again in s3 having moved on slightly and changed her outlook. thereby creating a somewhat optimistic outlook on the end point of #her story #and s4 shows (in parts) her descent into villany.#she's been the main reocurring presence in the whole show and her train motivation (unbearable grief) and villain arc are the most #complex the show would've handled #i truly believe that if they had been allowed to make it it would have served as a perfect ending to the show #because she's been built up for so long and because the writers would've had so much material to work with AND detail to pay attention to #it wouldve been spectacular.... and everything they wanted to explore in later seasons wouldve been so good too #(older tulip and revenge and acceptance of something as complicated as alzheimer's disease)#(and i also think it wouldve been neat for them to show us a glimpse of 40 y/o rymin cuz those boys have major issues still when they get #off the train #and so id like a snapshot of them in the future that shows they worked things out)#yeah. justice 4 infinity train justice 4 amelia hughes. i want to fuck that 60y/o deeply evil woman so badly and i need her back in my life

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yunmeng-jiang · 3 months

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that man does NOT think of wei wuxian as his gege

#jiang cheng #wwx #twin prides #i have a whole post about how they both think of themselves as having an older-sibling role #but even if that wasn't true jc still always calls him by his full name and the one time wwx tried to call him shidi jc yelled at him #their relationship is not that simple! it's a huge thing that wwx occupies a weird in-between role in their family!#he's definitely not a servant but also definitely not a full member of their family and that's super important to the story!#even if jc WANTED to think of him as his older brother he would need to get past seven layers of trauma to even realize he wanted that #and then he would have to admit it to himself and then work up the courage to admit it to someone else #and even then he probably still wouldn't say it to wwx's face #sure yanli calls wwx her didi but things are much simpler from her point of view #plus she's one of those people - like lxc - that can hold an opinion deep inside herself and be at peace with it even if it conflicts +#+ with what the world says and what she's been brought up to believe #jc is not like that. he internalizes way more from the outside world and if he feels conflicted he just kind of implodes #he's spent his whole life being told that wwx is not his equal and is someone to compete against #and also secretly believing that wwx is eventually going to abandon him because he doesn't think anyone truly cares for him #plus wwx treats him like a bff who is also a liege lord rather than a beloved younger brother #he would Not form a secure attachment to wwx lmao #it also really annoys me that when people write/conceptualize him as someone who thinks of wwx as his real gege +#+ they tend to completely erase jyl and minimize her importance to jc. he HAS an older sibling who he trusts unconditionally and confides +#+ in and takes comfort from! that person already exists! and they ignore her in favor of the protagonist #it also really bugs me when they have him mourning wwx those whole 13-16 years but don't put in a single word about yanli #this kind of turned into a rant about jyl... i have a lot of feelings about her especially since i'm the oldest sibling in my family #anyway. that man does not think of wwx as his gege #haterade #(kind of)

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yellowocaballero · 7 months

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So fucking glad to see someone talk about SSS Class revival hunter 😭 I lived it so much and I feel like no one ever mentions it against more popular titles like ORV or even The Lout of the counts family, so I'm so glad to come here and see your amazing takes :>

Thank you for the ask which lets me talk about SSSCRH (the version I read was titled 'Suicide Hunter', which tbh I like more - no beating around the bush).

It's hard to draw an accurate comparison since I'm going off just the webtoon for SSSCRH, while I'm going off both the webtoon and the webnovel for ORV. And I love ORV, ORV is my media blorbo right now, it hydraulic presses my brain, I am writing ORV fanfic - it's, like, funner to enjoy. But SSSRH is just better. In the vast majority of ways it is is better. It's better than the holy trinity by a wide margin. TW talk of suicide obviously.

I can't believe I'm saying this but you need a basic understanding of Buddhism in order to understand SSSCRH. It's not about Gongja's suicides - he doesn't suicide from depression or lack of self-esteem. SSSCRH is about suffering in the Buddhist sense - dukkha. I don't want to make this an essay, so I might reblog this with more information, but extremely shortly:

The Four Noble Truths of Buddhism is the truth of suffering, the truth of the cause of suffering, the truth of the end of suffering, and the truth of the path that leads to the end of suffering. You've heard that Buddhists say 'life is suffering'. To put it one way that doesn't require defining a lot of words: the cause of suffering is experiencing the world as we percieve it instead of how it truly is. Suffering isn't just being miserable and in pain, and life isn't suffering because life sucks and global warming exists and people voted for Trump. Life is suffering because we can experience beautiful and joyful moments in this world, but we do not exist in the moment of that happiness or place our ego/'self' between us and that happiness. Living in that moment, accepting the moment as it is unconditionally, is freedom from suffering. The Buddha tries to free people from suffering through teaching Buddhism.

"What does this have to do with the webnovel and manwha about a guy murdering himself thousands of times" it has everything to do with it. Because SSSCRH is about suffering, and it is about using suffering as a tool in order to experience a world unfiltered by ego and break down the artificial boundaries between human beings. Suffering in SSSCRH is not a bad thing. Gongja has the unique capability to (reincarnate.) experience a person's suffering in unity with them, which dissolves the delusion of separation between people and puts us in touch with the reality of oneness.

The Murim arc was fucking insane because Gongja pulls a Big Bodhisattva Move and walks through the suffering of the world in order to achieve full understanding of the human experience. He takes all of the suffering of the world into himself and is liberated. You can tell it's Buddhist because death was not presented as a bad thing - death was an aspect of a happy ending for the Heavenly Demon lady, because she was finishing her life according to her own joy, and because her teachings were passed on she did not truly die.

But the purpose of embracing suffering is to discover the ability to fully embrace life, and that's where Heavenly Demon's teachings were incomplete - as the ghost dude said, Gongja hasn't even experienced his own full life and the infinite capability for his own happiness. You can only feel the depths of sadness when you've felt the depths of happiness. Sadness deserves its place in the world and it can strengthen you, but so does happiness.

Gongja is attention-seeking, envious, and unbelievably petty. When he drills down into his own desires and why he wants the things he wants, you see that he has a very strong sense of justice and right and wrong - he realizes he doesn't want to be famous, he wants to be acknowledged, but on an even deeper level he is desperate for love and to be loved. Everything he does is to experience love, and as such he learns to love others. His love for the Flamey Asshole was purely parasocial and ego-filled, with no concern for who he was as a human. Throughout the manwha, he grows to care for people as they truly are and pierce through any delusions or misleading outward appearances. He has released all attachment to life and death, and as such does not fear death, and as such has taken a step on the road towards becoming a Boddhisatva who frees others from the cycle of samsara, and as a result has learned sick sword techniques and is sooo good at beating people up.

I think the only other thing I want to mention here because otherwise this is an essay: in almost every time loop/regression story, only the final regression matters. In stories with dungeon monsters and NPCs, only the humans matter. The regressor exists in a space where there are no consequences for their actions, so they act terribly and do whatever because none of it matters. In Groundhog Day Bill Murray acts like an asshole because he can. That's not the case here. Everything Gongja does matters. The NPCs are fake, but Gongja never treats them as anything less than real people who deserve life. Once he understands a person's life he never treats them as unimportant. No loop is thrown away and no person or life is disregarded. His choices matter, the way he treats others matters, and Gongja never treats anybody as if they don't matter except for himself.

That was not short. There is a lot more. The female characters are so good and so rich. From a craft perspective it is excellently paced and has a wonderful sense of set-up/payoff and balances tone and maintains a lot of momentum, which is really hard in a time loop story. You have to do a few very specific things to write OP characters well and SSSCRH does it very well. There's more to say from a craft perspective and it's hard to judge accurately from a webtoon but it's good. I was so strangely struck the entire time about how sincere and genuine it was, how it said what it said with no trace of irony of confusion, and I think that's what stuck with me the most.

TL;DR: SSS Class Revival Hunter is good for a lot of very normal reasons, such as excellent pacing and set-up/pay off and characters, but it's also so sincerely and genuinely Buddhist that it blew my tits clean off.

#sss class revival hunter #kim gongja #ssscrh #I s2g I rewrite these like three times to be as short as possible #I just knew I had to define some terms because if I say 'it's about suffering' and leave it at that #people aren't going to fully get it #its not intuitive from a western perspective #It's really hard to get the full meaning of SSSCRH if you have no familiarity with Buddhism #bc suffering (and delusion and nothingness and oneness) mean diff things in buddhism than in english #theres other buddhist stuff like responsibility to the whole and the community but this was long enough already #the few ppl talking about it have good takes but I think ppl miss how #kgj isnt depressed and he doesnt kill himself from self-sacrifice #he's not kdj or cale #he only truly commits suicide (throws his life away) once which was from part percieved worthlessness of his own life #and big part EXTREME FUCKING PETTINESS NEXT LVL PETTINESS INSANE PETTINESS #every other time he kills himself is from his EXTREME goal oriented behavior #as usual there seems to be a dialogue with the rest of its genre #specifically the extreme egocentrism and selfishness of its genre and other OP protags #(which cale has a hilarious relationship w/)#(ur doing amazing honey i know this upsets you)#my asks #and theres also a conversation with buddhism itself anyway #i love orv but this is so much better on so many levels and its being slept on smh #nobody is going to read this its way too long but you know. its not ABOUT you.

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