𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝'𝐯𝐞 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝'𝐯𝐞 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝'𝐯𝐞 || 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠!𝐂𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐮𝐬𝐒𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
part one: I knew you were trouble // part two: would’ve could’ve should’ve
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲_The Capitol's Dream girl was depressed. After Snow broke her heart and returned only to haunt her. It only takes an official marriage proposal on New Year's Day, an interview with Lucky Flickerman and a rebel bombing to completely break you, and make Snow realize there's a place for one last person to love for the rest of his life.
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬_ 10k words fic ups, reader is depressed, blood, violence, angst, tears, drama, reader makes some cruel things, antidepressants, nothing wild but they have sex so mdni 18+ , Snow actually loves reader (well idk). I couldn't add anything about the games of Mags SORRY.
𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞_main song for this is Would've Could've Should've, song added to my Coryo Copito's playlist. Also, listen to the 1 and memory lane!!!
♪ ♫ Coryo playlist ✰ Index (+ fics here)
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Nights were longer now. You couldn't sleep. Nightmares of the games, how you contributed. The vivid image of the first time you saw Clemensia after the snake bite. Your mind made you recreate Sejanus being hanged in District 12. And finally, your mind also made you replay every moment you had with Coriolanus Snow since you met him at 17.
You wished you never asked to sit with him at lunch. You wished you never asked to see him again.
He would've been just another classmate. If the things that happened in the 10th Hunger Games were meant to be, at least you wouldn't have been involved.
It wouldn't have hurt you enough to feel so miserable in the present.
But this was as good as it was going to get.
You weren't the best driver, but since very few people had a car, you dared to take the one your chauffeur was meant to. It distracts you from staring at the window and overthinking.
Sometimes you wonder how it would've turned out if Snow won the prize without being a mentor, just like it was planned to happen. Would you have made a stop at his place? For him to get inside your car and kiss you good morning. Then drive to the University of the Capitol? Could've been fun.
But you made your way alone. Only listening to the music that played on the radio.
And you wondered what would've happened if Arachne was alive, Sejanus too, and Clemensia was fine to take classes in person. Would they have made fun of you and Snow entering University holding hands? Could've been sweet.
But again, you were alone. It's a cloudy day at The Capitol. Your long emerald green coat gets stuck with the car door. You roll your eyes, opening the damn door once again to set free the piece of fabric.
You started wearing high heels. It made you look taller and you loved the sound every time you stepped out of your home. Your mother had launched a new collection, and she loved seeing you wearing her creations.
For the record, you haven't seen Coriolanus Snow since the day you had your first counselor appointment. That was a month ago, and it was… great.
Actually, it wasn't, but yeah…
A lot of people greeted you, but none were your friends. You see, the University isn't very different compared to the Academy. The same architecture, and familiar faces that no longer wear the red uniform. And even so, you feel like a fish out of water.
Life isn't perfect. But you weren't ready to start your young adult days feeling so out of breath.
"Y/n!…" you turn to encounter Persephone. A sweet girl from the Academy.
"Persephone. Hi…" You do your best to smile. She was a classmate from the Academy. And she never was your friend but you always thought she was so sweet.
"How have you been? You're all over the news" For the first time in weeks you giggle, feeling a little blushed. The feeling of someone asking you how you were doing felt so good.
"I've had better days. But here we are… And you?" She tilts her head.
"I visited my grandma's lake house in District 4. It was so good. I heard you're in the science and law program" you nod. You also knew Persephone was on the law program.
"Yeah, you're in law too…."
"Is Coriolanus going to be there too?" You stop smiling.
In fact, you weren't sure. But probably he would also be in law. Tigris once said he wanted to pursue politics.
"I'm not sure… We-…we don't talk anymore" she gasped in shock.
"What? Oh, I'm so sorry. I thought you were…"
"No. But it's fine. He must be doing great…" you cut her off before she can ask more questions.
Your first class was okay. Until Snow walked in, wearing a perfect dark blue suit. His silly hair looked slightly longer than the last time you saw him, but still, nothing compared to his messy hair from months ago. You pretend you didn't see him, opting to keep writing something in your journal. But he had to stop beside you. There are some minutes of silence, but nothing would make you turn to knowledge of his presence.
"Can I sit with you?" His voice is colder again. You can notice through a little glimpse of a white rose decorating his suit. But you keep your eyes set on the page in front of you.
And you know you won't fail again.
"No."
He can feel the venom in your voice.
"I'm sitting here." He says after all.
You really don't have time to tear up on the first day of University. You want to stand up and leave, but you're so mature that you won't say anything else.
At least, for the rest of the class, he doesn't say anything else, but you know he occasionally turns to see you.
"Is it gonna be like this forever?" He asks when it's over. You dare to see him in the eyes, enchanting blue as always. But the young man in front of you isn't the boy you met. And yet, he still made your heart beat like he was the same who was once your lover.
"I don't have time for this. Have a nice day, Snow'' he looks as you leave the classroom. His hands shook, and that feeling of guilt assaulted him once again. You are the proof alive of all the pain he caused. So he needs to have you back on his side, so he can feel some humanity remaining in him after all the things he did months ago. Because he knows there's no good left on him, but he can't get rid of you like he did with Sejanus, Highbottom… and Lucy Gray.
You were meant for him. But he was so infatuated with the other girl. And Snow was aware that you deserve the best. You were his ally since day one. So having you by his side again… would seal his imaginary pact.
He looks at you and sees the girl that gave him the chance of his life. He promised his grandma'am you would be the girl he would give a home and a family.
But now, every time he asked Tigris how you were, she avoided giving details. grandma'am was growing suspicious that things weren't going great. Tigris had been a lot of times on your house and mother's shows. Your father would ask for Coriolanus but he didn't know all the things the young man did to his daughter.
So Tigris would say he was still serving as a peacekeeper. And you, you would say you haven't talked a lot with him.
Not anymore. Coriolanus would try every day. As he denied he loved you, he pretended he needed you as you were the one. Just that.
…
"Y/n y/l/n." Suddenly a peacekeeper comes to you.
"Yes?" You ask politely.
"Dr. Gaul demands your presence in her laboratory" you sigh. Of course, she would be the first to ask to see you.
It was the same laboratory. Only that now was near. The way to get there was slow, even peaceful. Maybe because the day was almost over.
The first thing you notice is how many empty water tanks are scattered.
"There you are, Ms. Y/l/n" she appears from the crystal stairs at the end of the room. Wearing a yellow set that made her eyes more bright. Her hair is the same. Looking as evil and cynic as always.
"Dr. Gaul" you greet. Stopping some feet away from her.
"A school new year means new planning ahead" You nod. Already hearing what she was about to say. Well, not entirely.
"The last games were a mess. Between the rebels and Mr. Snow's bright decisions. Our central ideas couldn't be fulfilled. However, I decided to give him another chance, there's so much potential in that boy" You don't know how to feel about that. So you just remain quiet.
"Speaking of the devil…" when you turned back, Snow was walking towards you and the woman near you. Immediately you avoided his eyes, knowing he was probably looking at your dress. The coat was long gone, leaving a soft and accentuating pink dress with long sleeves.
He knew it was inappropriate. But ever since he gained your trust and his feelings of attachment to you, he had a long time to accept he had a thing for your hips. The dress was extremely simple but looked elegant with some bright exotic earrings, and it was your body that created the most attractive shape he'd ever seen.
And soon, his view of you became sided.
"I believe I don't need to remind you of your actions from the last games, Mr. Snow," the woman said.
"It won't happen again." He answered with confidence.
"I know it won't happen again," Gaul says laughing. Making you wonder how much time she had been trying to get into the position she was now.
"This year, let's say you'll be under probation, Mr.Snow. On the other hand, Ms. y/l/n. Another year and another success from you" his eyes were on you again. Turned to his left without shame. And that's when Snow remembered since he came back from District 12 how smart you were. Without saying anything, even avoiding it, you knew he had cheated on the games. And probably, without talking to him anymore, you knew he wasn't a good man.
Only that…slowly, you were also turning into a bad woman.
"Those water creatures are fully developed. They're nothing compared to the snakes from last year. This new invention has marked a new era for us…" To be honest, you don't know how to feel about it. Everything related to the games made you remember your dear friend Sejanus Plinth. He would've hated this creation from you. But on the bright side, this was your future. These were the constant obstacles you would have if you were to achieve success.
"Dr. Gaul. An emergency message has been sent to y/n y/l/n" Immediately you turned confused looking at a new peacekeeper. When you look at your mentor, she nods, indicating to you that you're allowed to leave.
"Excuse me." As you walk away, another peacekeeper has a cable phone. One of the newest wireless ones. Red and shiny, silently beeping. You can hear Snow asking Dr. Gaul something, but the sound of your heels is loud enough to make it difficult to understand as you reach the phone
The peacekeeper hands the cable phone. You pick up, feeling your heart pounding.
"Hello?" The low breathing of your mother can be heard.
"Darling! Something bad happened…"
"What?" You ask. And you don't know but Snow is trying so hard to listen to your conversation.
"Our mines in District 12. Your father made a little trip there with some friends. The people caused a revolt. They bombed the mines." You frown, in shock. Already feeling anger building up in your chest.
"Is pa' okay?" She sighs, which stresses you more.
"Some burns. The peacekeepers saved him on time" Snow listens to Gaul but he literally has an ear on you and the other in the mentor.
"Is it too bad? Like… putting our wealth in danger?" You whisper the last sentence. Your mother is a proud woman. But in the privacy of her family, she allowed herself to be vulnerable.
"I don't know, darling. We still have the mines in District 1. But the ones on the 12 represented greater materials" There's no time to cry and you know it.
So after some soothing words to your mother, you hang up. And you're not thinking clearly. You just know you're angry, and convinced someone had to pay. If you started disliking District 12 after the last games, now it was getting personal.
When you go back to stand beside Snow. You hear Gaul explaining to him how most of the lessons would go. But as soon as she turns back to you, there's an idea that leaves your mouth before you can breathe or blink.
"I was about to say that we should change the arena of the games. Each year it should change, like the seasons. Wasting the opportunity to use the water mutts sounds like a waste of potential for the views. If we still want a spectacle like the one from last year." The woman analyses your words. And after some seconds of silence, she speaks.
At the same time, Snow can't comprehend how poisonous you sound. He knew the call enraged you, it must've been bad.
"Then I'll ask you to find some suggestions for the arena"
"And… I have some ideas for this year Reaping" the woman's evil smile grows. She knows she's turning two young adults into monsters.
"I can't wait till Summer of next year" Gaul giggles, then lets you go, commenting that the next day the actual lessons would begin.
You sigh once she leaves. Finally acknowledging what you just did. Dooming a bunch of kids to fight for their lives with those water monsters. You remember Sejanus. The way he screamed in anger when his tribute was punished for trying to escape.
You're also a monster.
Snow turns to your side, looking as if you have just been cut with something, and he's searching for the wound.
"Are you okay? What happened?" he asks worriedly, caressing your forearm.
"Your beloved district 12. That's what happened." You spit with venom, squirming away from him.
Your harshness takes all over the place as you move away from him.
…
It's New Year's Day. A bright morning, and you already have your first guest. Clemensia Dovecote.
She still wears turtlenecks. But the gloves are gone. You can't stop smiling after seeing her smile and laugh as she drinks tea on your patio.
"I can't believe it worked, y/n," she says changing the subject. The first dose you gave her was after the games, in late summer. And now, at the peak of winter, Clemensia looked amazing. The cracked and raspy yellowish skin she had, the bright yellow eyes that contrasted her dark brown irises, all of that was mostly gone.
"To be honest, me neither…" you admit smiling proudly. Her skin looked slightly covered in scales, but the texture was soft. Like a snake that shines with a new layer of skin. Her eyes were still a little yellow, but the white was coming back.
"How did you come up with it? The treatment and everything?" you gulp nervously, sipping at your tea. If you opened your mouth, there would be no turning back.
Clemmie knew Snow had cheated, she swore to keep quiet about it. She knew about his exile. But she didn't know everything.
Then you thought you owed nothing to Snow. He owed you a lot, and yet, the way he paid was… cruel.
The only thing you were not in your right to share was about… the boy he killed. And as you'd never know he killed many more, Clemmie wouldn't either.
"He chose her. The songbird" Clemensia's eyes widened, she left the cookie she was about to eat.
"No…" you nod, confirming your words.
"Yes. During the games… he sacrificed everything for her. When I confronted him, he said nothing. After he was exiled, he committed a bribe to ensure his service as a peacekeeper on the 12" you spit with hate. The pride you carried each day, had a big crack thanks to that man, and like broken porcelain, it would never be healed.
"But he only had eyes for you… The Christmas after you arrived here, I asked him out and he said he had eyes on someone else. I can't believe him…" you giggle, rolling your eyes.
"He only had eyes for my money and father's position. He had the chance to win the prize and got obsessed with winning something by himself. The girl was just the cherry on top" You quickly added more as you were about to reveal he was… poor. Not because of him, but for Tigris and her grandmother. Tigris would lose her job and your mother would likely turn her down. So no, you weren't as bad as Snow yet.
"After he left. I realized how much he traced the scar on my face. I simply started hating it. And sooner I dreamed I had it gone. So I thought… Why can't I make something for my dear Clemensia and myself at the same time?" The black haired inspected your face.
"Your scar…" she remembered your face back then. The long pink line across your face. Clemensia did once see Snow caressing your face, his thumb traced the line across your nose until it landed on your lips.
Not it was just a memory as your scar. It was gone. Your face is clean, shiny, and perfect. Too bad that just your face was able to get rid of the touch of Snow.
You can't tell her he asked you to marry him. That was embarrassing enough to say it out loud.
"That's now the boy I knew. He had always been a little cold but… he was good. Now… I just can't stand what he did to you. And while I'll thank you for the rest of my life, you helped with my condition. I will ever feel sorry that you came up with it from such pain" Maybe before the bite, Clemmie was a little narcissistic. And her ambition led her to lie and get bitten. But now, she was all about being thankful and seeking peace everywhere.
"It's okay, Clemmie. Even after all, with Sejanus gone, all of what happened last summer… I'm happy that I have you" she smiles, offering you a big hug.
"Yeah, you won't get rid of me next year" She was officially coming back to class at the University after the winter break was over. Now Snow wouldn't be able to sit next to you.
"I won't mind…" Suddenly your mother comes out from one of the many balconies of your house.
"Girls! The stylist is here!" She lets you and Clemmie know.
This year, the annual New Year's Day will be at your house. The patio where you had breakfast and tea with your friend was already decorated with long tables. Porcelain plates are perfectly accommodated with wine velvet bows decorating them.
Clemensia's father talks with you about the revolt in District 12 and the burns he got. After that… more peacekeepers were sent. And slowly… the whole territory was becoming marginalized.
You ignore it, you only have eyes for the dress writing you on the other side.
When you open the door of your room, there it is.
A golden dress. Shinny and full of sequined beats. With metallic gold puffy fabric resting on your lower half back and ending around your wrists. Bare shoulders style.
You feel bad for not asking Tigris to style you, but she was already busy.
"I... I can't believe this…" you gasp, touching the elegant fabric of the dress. Clemmie can't stop saying how beautiful the dress is.
"With red lipstick and burnt pink eyeshadows… it'll look fantastic," the stylist says to your mother, already visualizing the look.
…
The patio is full of people. Elegant bonfires make everyone warm. Most of the guests look at your dress as you greet them. The last guests were Tigris and her grandmother, you placed them both in a table full of fashion contacts of your mother.
Clemmie is talking with Festus, Persephone, and other classmates.
Everything goes well until you set your eyes on the garden's entrance and you spot Snow entering.
Your eyebrows immediately frown. The night had been peaceful. And ever since winter break started, you haven't heard of him.
Why did he have to come? Was it for his grandmother?. Doesn't matter, you don't want him in your house.
He spots you and knows you just turned angry. You grab him by the arm and pull him away.
"What are you doing here?" You ask annoyed.
"You invited Tigris and Grandma'am" he shrugs.
"Yes. Tigris and Grandma'am. Not Tigris, Grandma'am, and Coriolanus" For the first time in months, you say his name.
"I have to talk to your father," he admits. You are confused, but he won't say anything yet.
"You look lovely tonight" You ignore the praise in his voice. But he genuinely believes you look astronomically beautiful. Snow was trying to act confident, but deep down he was nervous.
And it worsened when your dad interfered.
"Coriolanus. I'm glad you made it on time. Just an hour away till the countdown" you turn to see your father, offering him a glass of champagne. Neither of you should be drinking yet. But the elite of The Capitol was allowed to break the rules a little.
"No, of course I couldn't. I was just saying how gorgeous y/n looks tonight" your father smiles. You knew your father was believing Snow, that he was a gentleman.
"My one and only child. Perfect as always…" your father answers, putting his arm around your shoulders.
"I would like to discuss something with you. In private…" your heart beats faster.
"Be my guest, boy…" he tells him to enter the party. And as they leave you feel nauseous.
…
There are twenty minutes left till New Year's Day. Your father hasn't come out with Coriolanus yet. You nervously want to chew your nails. But you do your best for Clemmie. It was her first public appearance since the summer.
You had been trained to satisfy The Capitol's expectations since you were a kid. You knew what you could and couldn't do.
But none had prepared you to hide your shock.
"Dear guests. Family and friends. I would like to give an announcement" Your father appears, the sound of the glass capturing everyone's attention.
"With a new year around the corner, changes are too."
It couldn't…
Snow walked through the tables, towards you.
No, no, no, no.
"It is my pleasure to announce the engagement between Coriolanus Snow and my only daughter, y/n"
You swear you can't breathe.
You don't see Clemmie's face of horror. Tigris is highly confused. Grandma'am at the verge of tears.
"For my darling and her fiancé. Whom I wish eternal luck and happiness" your father finishes the toast.
Snow is beside you, he's not happy either. But he is the first one to start acting for the sudden flashes and cheering.
"How couldn't you tell me you wanted to get married, dear?" Your father asks, being the first person to hug you.
Your shock is so big that you don't even remember smiling for the pictures. You don't remember feeling his hand around your shoulders. You don't remember bursting into the house.
Snow follows you. It's empty, everyone is cheering because the countdown is about to start.
He calls your name. But you don't listen. He follows you through the kitchen and living room.
"WHAT?" You explode before being able to go upstairs.
You see his desperate eyes.
"I didn't know your father was going to announce it that way." He notices your face is red from anger.
"Listen to me, Coriolanus Snow. NO MAN will come and take away the pride of the woman I am." You scream in his face. You won't go quiet like the first time.
"YOU WERE NOTHING!. YOU OWE ME YOUR LUCK!" Snow can only fix his eyes on the sequins of your dress. He had never seen you screaming like that. And nobody would hear anyway.
"If this was your way to make me surrender and get me back. You're so wrong. Because you are going to be in debt with me for the rest of your life. Unless you want a rebel wife like it was your beloved Lucy Gray Baird." His eyes widened at your sudden attack. He has to process every word, every disgusted face you are making. He hadn’t thought about the songbird in many days. Hearing her names sent chills to his spine.
"I wanted this to be different. I had to "You hate him. You can't stand seeing him in his perfect grey suit, his perfect hair and eyes. You really hate him.
"YOU HAD NOTHING!. IF YOU WERE GONNA HUMILIATE ME LIKE THAT, YOU HAD TO GET ON YOUR KNEES AND BEG TO MARRY ME!" Whisking away, he grabs your hand, and when you turn, you find him on his knees.
"Please…" you feel he placed the ring in your hand. And it's too much.
You slap him. And then run away to your room.
As you lock the door, you throw the ring. And when tears start streaming down like a waterfall, you hear the first fireworks.
There's a bottle of pills in your vanity. The treatment for your low mood. You only need it once in a day. But you take two hoping it would knock you out and make you forget about the night.
It's officially a new year.
…
Three weeks later, Lucky Flickerman is interviewing you and Snow in his late-night show. You can't stand how Snow is caressing your hand. The way he slightly giggles and smiles at you, whenever there is a silly question.
You only do this because nobody knows the truth. Just Clemensia and Tigris.
"Sources tell us that it'll be a spring wedding. Is that right, y/n?" The man asks. You sigh, smiling.
'We're not sure yet, Lucky. There are so many details. Especially with my dress. But my man here is patiently waiting" the interviewer laughs, throwing a sarcastic comment about the dress.
"And what about kids? Is a baby on the plans?" Immediately, both of you blush.
"Yes. We want to have kids one day" Snow hurries to answer. You want to laugh.
He would be a terrible father. Some days ago, he was at your house for a family gathering and while he liked seeing you with your baby cousins, he knew he wasn't good with them. He didn't know how to play or make them laugh. But he had to make everyone believe he was a man of family and marriage. Even when both of you were still nineteen.
"Oh. Well, you're still young. There's plenty of time, pair of lovebirds" You make the strength to turn and smile at Snow. He returns you the smile.
And he wants to believe it's an honest reaction from you. He really hates that everything happened this way. He wanted to wait personally and privately ask you to marry him again. Not like this.
"Y/n… How did you know Coriolanus was the one?" It takes you aback. You can't lie. There's a truth.
"When I met him, he made me feel comfortable. He was so sweet and he trusted me. He made it hard for me not to love him. He has these gorgeous ocean eyes, that every time I see him I get lost in them. It reminds me of the kind boy I met some time ago…" Everyone feels emotional. Coriolanus is aware of the real meaning behind your words, and he can't help but honestly smile. He knows he realized it, but he couldn't bring himself to admit it.
"These ladies and gentlemen… is a couple in love!" Lucky laughs and points at you and Snow excited. And he says that he'll be back with the broadcast for the weather, he thanks you and your fiancé for being there.
"Take care, guys. Don't forget to invite me to the wedding!, I'll get some people inside to bring the news anyways…"
And finally, both of you are behind the set. You don't even glance at Snow. But he hurries to stop you, interfering in your way.
"I'm sorry. For everything…" you cross your arms.
"No. You hate me. That's why you keep doing this to me…"
Your assistant appears handing you a glass of water and a little plate of something Snow can't see.
"Here's some water and your antidepressants, miss" You blush and ignore the way your fiancé is looking.
As you walk away, Coriolanus only feels worse.
…
You stare at the public library. Now closed just for your wedding happening in a couple of hours.
There are white roses everywhere. Petition of your mother to commemorate Snow and his family. You hated it.
It ended up being a spring wedding. But a very cold one. By early June, summer would start. And for now, snowflakes still fell upon The Capitol.
"The dress is ready…" Tigris says, appearing on your side. She sees how you stare at the whole place with dismay.
"How could this happen?" She asks, wondering.
"My younger self would've loved this day. But now… is different" You didn't want to insult her cousin.
"His younger self would've also loved this" Tigris remembered how enchanted was Coriolanus for you. Saying that he made a rich friend who was so sweet. Soon he admitted you were gorgeous and delicate. Now forgetting to mention you only when Grandma'am asked.
"He's trying to get you back," Tigris adds. And you question it.
Ever since the engagement. He always reached for you. Asking how you were. The kisses on the cheek to greet you. Felt honest. But you doubted you would ever forgive him. Even if you ended up having his children someday…
"I know it won't change anything. But I'm sorry. You didn't deserve this…" the young woman lamented. After you confessed most of the things Snow did to you, she added that to her list. And slowly, Tigris had slightly brushed aside her cousin.
"I didn't. But what's pissing me off is the wedding night" Tigris coughed awkwardly. And you rolled your eyes.
"No, Tigris. It's not about the sex. It's about me having to leave my house forever. I refuse…" She relaxed.
Honestly, you hadn't thought about sex. You knew it would happen anytime after marrying. But you wouldn't give Snow the satisfaction to even give hints.
At least, your father suggested Snow temporarily move in with you in your room since his new penthouse would be only for Tigris and grandmother. He would sleep in your tub.
"It's a great place for a honeymoon. Capitol's north is full of mountains, fancy restaurants, and actual snow" Somehow, you laugh.
"Fitting for my new legal name" Tigris joins you and laughs, hugging you tightly.
You stare at the flowers, and the hundreds of seats, and you aren't ready. But there's a smile on your face. Because at that point you don't even care.
…
Coriolanus was alone. He thinks Sejanus could've been there. Annoying and smiley as always, but he would've been the best man. Chosen by him because there wasn't another option. But it's only him. Staring at his mother's ring.
Pure gold, a medium size rectangle-shaped diamond. Shining ridiculously in white and small rainbows.
You look just like your father on his wedding day.
Your mother was so happy. Spinning and laughing as your father danced with her.
Remember. As you take a wife, you are choosing a life partner. You have to remember every morning why you chose her. You have to respect and protect her. Give her a home, a warm place to grow old together.
Y/n is the perfect woman for you. She's so lucky to have you, my boy.
All of those things, Grandma'am had said to him as she handed the ring.
And now sitting alone in a room. Suit ready, in black, and very little gold details in the white shirt under. Tigris said it was going to match your dress.
Your father actually loved your mother, Coriolanus. Treat her right. That is the least you could do…
She knew. Tigris had to know everything.
Coriolanus wondered how you would look. A princess-style dress? Maybe velvet? And he imagined your face.
That's when he can't take it anymore. He cries. Because everything was going to be a lie. He cries because it could've been true. If only he had made better decisions. If only you weren't so smart that you discovered him.
He's a broken man.
But he grips the ring on his palm. Wiping the tears and deciding that he's never going to fail you again. As he knew you had never failed him. And even when you hated him, neither you would.
…
There are three mirrors. Your hands trace the shiny beats of your dress. From the strips to your breasts, to your waist and hips. The end was full of them. Combining gold, and even dark brown or grey. It was simple, slightly sheer. But extremely elegant. Made with crystals from your family's mines. Representative of your native District 1. Your hair is down, perfectly cut in that shag haircut you had when you were a teen. It fits perfectly with your veil. Also covered in tiny pieces of crystals that cover your head, to the tail of the dress.
You looked like a Capitol's bride.
And for some reason, you can't find the tears. It's just you staring at the mirrors. Accepting your doomed life.
As you open the door, you know there are already tears on everyone but you.
Clemensia, Persephone, your mother, and Tigris sob and look at you in shock.
"Oh my god, my baby. You look perfect!" Your mother cries, caressing your cheeks and sobbing. You smile at her, just that.
They keep talking about the dress when you hear a knock followed by the door of the room opening.
"Is there any time for this old woman to see the bride?" Tigris smiles at her grandmother, inviting her to join.
"There's only ten minutes left. Everyone hurry!" Your mother says. They exaggerate, only Tigris gives you one last retouch, and hands you the bouquet. With white roses and some lilies scattered.
She kisses your cheek and smiles deeply.
"It's gonna be fine. I swear…" and with that, she leaves.
Grandma'am only looks at you with love. She always liked you for his grandson. And she believed love floated around you two. For the record, she said it two weeks ago in a rehearsal you had.
"I knew it from the first day my little Coriolanus came home rambling about you" she smiles.
"And from that day, it always had been you, my dear. Even today… always saying you are the love of his life" Your eyes water. Coriolanus wouldn't lie to his grandma about something like that. He could lie about killing someone but not about something he knew would make her happy.
"He did?" You ask as she takes your hand.
"Of course. I know I'm old, and I can't tell he has committed some errors. But I know those blue always are so in love with you, my child" That couldn't be.
"Do you love him?" You won't cry. But you're fighting the lump in your throat.
"I do. Ever since the first day…" you admit.
Maybe you would always resent the man you were going to marry. But you would always love the memory of the boy you once had.
"Promise me you will make him happy, dear. He has so little when we lost everything once. Take care of him. Give him a family, that's all I ask" You can't say no to her. You just can't.
"I promise." She hugs you. And you swallow the lump, looking at the door.
…
The moment had arrived. The doors opened, the music started and everyone turned back to see you entering by the hand of your father.
Sounds of shock, admiring, and more are very low but noticeable.
For Coriolanus, it's only you. Your hair was like when you met him. The dress is so perfect. Your makeup too. And he promises to keep the image of you in his mind for the rest of his life.
He genuinely smiles. And you are feeling so confused. Could his grandmother have been telling the truth?
Coriolanus actually loved you? The way he had been smiling and treating you for the past months. Had he really been feeling sorry?
Would you forgive him if that was the case?
You can't tell because your father has dropped you at the altar.
You didn't even feel his kiss on the head and promised good luck.
You just feel Snow taking your hand. It's warm, even soft for his calloused hands.
And you can't turn to see him.
There are many people taking pictures of you and him.
Everyone loved the Capitol's Dream Girl and her handsome wealthy fiancé ever since the engagement.
When you last expected it, you are officially Mrs. Snow.
"You may kiss the bride…" you know he's doubting. But there's no time, so you stand on your tiptoes to kiss him.
It takes him aback, but soon, his hands find that damn spot, in your hips. And it doesn't feel wrong, for some reason.
You just see him and you realize he's your man now.
Neither of you can understand the emotions flowing at the moment. You like seeing him smiling at you like that, but you also feel sad. And he loves the way you look, he feels so attached to you.
In other words, both feel like it was real. But both knew the truth.
You don't dare to eye any of your family or friends as you leave by the hand of your now husband.
…
The reception was just as big as the ceremony. With the most elegant music, food of all kinds, and a varied menu.
Your husband has chosen to give the option of fish florentine, mentioning to you that his uncle used to get the best food from District 4 before the war.
For you, it was fried steak with three types of cheese and coated with mushroom cream.
There's a picture for everyone. You and Snow enter the party. Your father says a little speech about how much of a great marriage you would have.
You dance with your baby cousins. Lucky Flickerman was able to ask about your dress and possible honeymoon location.
You ignore your husband for the rest of the night. Only when the cake has to be sliced. It's a 5 layer cake, covered in white and very little baby pink roses. Snow and you agreed to make it white chocolate with raspberries and cream.
He cleans some cream from your cheek, and before you can even think about it, you laugh.
He danced with you but you only decided to hear his heartbeats, instead of seeing him. It made you understand that lonely days were over. But at what cost?
…
That night, you are already seeing the mountains and green woods covered in white at the top. You sigh, looking at the metallic silk nightgown. You didn't want the traditional white or pink silk gown. This was short, offered some cleavage, it shined in orange and pink tones when it was supposed to be lavender.
During the whole hour trip to the residence of the honeymoon, you didn't say anything to him.
When you come out of the bathroom, he's sitting at the edge of the bed. A dark grey robe on him and you wonder if he was naked too.
Ignoring him, you go to the giant vanity in front of the bed.
You try to focus on the plenty of assignments you'll have after the honeymoon. With less than three months before the next games, your water mutts had already killed a person. Gaul only laughed and insisted on you to feed the beasts with the corpse.
Little did everyone know that on the Reaping day, District 12 people would receive a tiny stain of liquid Mercury on their ballot. Within months of inhaling that thing, they would be sick. It was your revenge for the revolt in the mines that almost killed your father.
But for now, you can only feel his eyes on you. Like the first day of school. You know he wants to touch you. He wants to claim you as his wife. But he doesn't have the right.
So he stays seated, hoping you will make the first move.
Ignoring the way your heart beats, wanting to feel something. Your heart was blind, thinking you could make love with Coriolanus.
Once you have finished with your facial cream. You turn off the light. Only the balcony offered some glimpses.
You step between his legs, hands on his shoulders. The smell of tobacco leaf and vanilla bean perfume hits him, making him gulp. Unsure whether to touch you or not.
"Wait, y/n… Are you-… Are you sure?" He asks, unsure of what is happening. He kind of thanked you for turning off the lights. That way you couldn't see how blushed he was. After all, this was going to be his first time. After actual years of desiring you, he gets to have you for the rest of his life.
Then you lean, inches away from his lips.
" I don't want to hear you" and you don't say more, neither does he. In the darkness, he finds your lips and there's plenty of time to kiss you slowly. With wet sounds, your hands fly to his hair. Making him moan for the first time. It shouldn't be turning you on. But it is, so you slightly move your head, and maybe he understood, 'cause he started kissing your jaw, soon your neck.
He feels you pulling out the nightgown, and it's making him so fucking hard.
You kiss him again and he's free to wander across your naked body. Now his…
It's his first time, just like it is yours. So when he tries to touch you past your lower belly, you guide him.
Softly making him slide his fingers across your wet folds. You moan and he thinks it's the most erotic thing he's ever heard in his life. He knows you are skilled even when it's also your first time. He knows because of your timing, the way you swayed your hips any time you walked, and the way you balanced touching him and moaning at the same time.
Before you, he rarely touched himself or thought about sex. But soon after kissing you for the first time, he would hate himself for thinking how you would look underneath the Academy uniform.
And now, there you were, naked, taking his virginity as you slowly rode him. You swear he has to be big enough to be able to feel him and his details inside you. The pacing was so soft yet hard. Soft because of your slick, hard because of the pleasure.
All you could hear was his sighs, but the stars of the night were your moans and little yelps for him. No words exchanged, just the sound of your desire and his response.
And when you start going faster, holding onto him as if your life depended on it, he was over the edge to say it. But he couldn't.
Your first time should've been with him on top. Tigris said it was traditional. But he let you take the lead, and it was turning out better. You even let him paint your walls with his cum. You let him kiss and suck your nipples as he felt the last spasms of his climax, prolonged by the way you squeezed him.
Even with the silence, both of you knew. It was the hardest and best orgasm of your life.
…
At the outsides of The Capitol, there's an office. All University students needed to submit their petition to graduate two years prior to the ceremony. Gaul demanded you and Snow to go as soon as you returned from the honeymoon.
Now, two months married, you feel slightly lighter. You talked a little bit more with him. Breakfasts were quiet but peaceful. At the University he always tried to protect you.
The news was all about the wedding. Saying it was the event that officially marked the end of the war. People loved you and encouraged your husband to pursue a political party to start campaigns, hoping to win the presidency. As for you, rumors had spread that you were going to be the next game maker of Panem. Evenings were to study and go for some walks. And most of the nights you repeated the same formula. Ending up tangled in your bed with the darkness reigning.
You couldn't help but wonder if something had changed.
Coriolanus Snow was still cold, serious, a man of few but harsh words. But to you, he seemed warm. Like if fucking him had made him switch and now he was eating out from the palm of your hand.
Still, you still felt like the past was haunting you. With memories of the last games and the moment you lost your lovely blonde guy.
"It's done," Snow says coming out of a private office. The green tiles stop being attractive to your eye, making you blink twice to stare at your husband.
He's yours, just like you wanted. With his perfect eyes, perfect smile, hair, body, and dream life.
You sigh with relief. He had insisted on submitting both papers to soothe you from stress.
"We are likely to receive a letter next year. The woman said it was basically approved for us…" you nod. He offers you a sweet smile, that you can't help but reply.
He offers you his arm to take, ready to leave the office.
Lately, Coriolanus has been worried for you. The antidepressant treatment was over, but you were under pressure because you had created the arena and strategies for the 11th Hunger Games. People debated your capacity and ideals. And he knew that would stress you.
He was patiently trying to make you feel comfortable on his side. To make you feel again like you said in the interview with Flickerman.
"Thank you." You say to him.
"Of course."
After taking the elevator, you two are ready to walk out. Until there's a loud explosion near. You exchange looks with your husband, and as he squeezes your hand tighter, what feels like another explosion makes you and Snow fly away.
When he opens his eyes, the building is literally on fire. He reacts quickly, realizing there has been another bombing.
He's okay, just his neck hurts, but there's no blood. It's you who's worrying him a lot.
He calls your name but you don't respond.
Through the ashes and hazes of dust, he looks out for you.
A few feet away, you are coughing, lying on the ground.
He runs and kneels beside you.
"Y/n, please. Can you hear me?" You nod slowly, barely moving.
"I-can't breathe…" Snow sees how your nose bleeds and there are some glasses making your arm shake a little. The sleeve of your cardigan is drenched in blood.
He panics and goes into a full panic attack. Not even when he was in the arena and got hurt. He truly feared losing you.
"I'm taking you out of here" he looks around and notices there's no one around.
He carries you, doing his best to run out of the increasing fire.
"I don't want to die, Coriolanus" you gasp, trying to breathe. He looks down at you, now looking at the dirt in your face.
"You won't die, love. Just calm down and breathe" In fact he knows you could die. But he refuses to accept it as he finds the exit of the building.
There's chaos on the streets.
And in the middle of the disaster, he starts asking for help.
"Please… I need an ambulance for my wife!" He pleads to some people who seem to be helping a group of kids.
A woman listens and calls for a man.
"Help is coming, y/n. Do not close your eyes" The rush in him impeded him from crying. Because he was so freaked out.
"Mr. Snow, I'm a doctor. I'll help your wife get into a hospital" A middle-aged man gets closer, inspecting your face. You can't hear anything. Your eyes close by themselves, and you still feel so out of breath.
It's the sound of the ambulance that works as a lullaby and makes you pass out.
…
It's uncertain. But reliable sources said it was a direct target from rebel allies, a direct target to you. Because the next game maker needed to be erased from Panem before she could even start. Snow is shockingly angered. And he adds another point to his hate for rebellion.
"I won't quit." You affirm from the hospital bed. Your mother frowns.
"I don't think you're understanding the seriousness of this situation, y/n" she suggests, to which your father also nods.
The door opens and Coriolanus enters, hurried to inspect you.
"Are you Okay? The doctor said it wasn't that bad but-" you smile, caressing his shoulder.
"I'm fine. Just inhaled too much smoke. And my arm, but that's it" You show him your left arm covered in gazes.
He kisses your forehead.
"I was so afraid," he whispers in your ear.
And maybe it was all about your emotions after the shocking day. But you finally feel it. You love him. And the way he had acted since the engagement made you believe he could possibly feel the same. But you aren't sure.
"I won't quit. That would only give the rebels a point. I will make this games memorable. And nobody in Panem will ever question my methods" Your words shouldn't have made your husband proud. But it does.
"You're so right, dear," he says, making you smile nervously.
…
You are allowed to leave the hospital that night. And the whole ride, you have to fight the tears. You can't take it anymore.
As soon as you get inside your room. Coriolanus starts running the tub to clean you up.
You get on your knees. Your throat already feels as if you were choking. He spots you on your carpet, looking so vague and lost.
"Please, Coriolanus." He's watching you carefully. And by your face, he feels you are about to say something from the bottom of your heart.
"What? Are you in pain?" He asks scared, kneeling in front of you. You don't answer and that terrifies him. Until you do.
"Tell me you are in love with me. Just once, doesn't matter if you never say it again for the rest of my life. If you mean it, say you love me." Tears start flowing, your face turns red, and Coriolanus can't help but feel vulnerable by seeing like that.
"Because if you say you only insisted on marrying me because of the money, and my father's position… I'm gonna hate you till the day I die. For all you did to me and everything that could've been" he has to close his eyes. To not see you as a tear falls without a warning from his left eye. He has to decide. Is he going to break his promise? He said he couldn't love anyone again. But you weren't new. You were the first. She was the last.
Coriolanus wished to be your boyfriend soon after meeting you. And from waiting for the right moment to ask, he ended up ruining everything for his ambition. From believing she was different, that she was worth it. Ignoring all the pain he caused to you.
And until that moment he realized he had almost obligated you to marry him.
He already had what he wanted. The money and his power were growing, and he had the girl.
Crying on her knees in front of him. Asking him to end her pain. Just by loving her after all the pain he caused her.
Slowly, he reaches for your face. Your sobs became almost silent. Your heart was beating so fast. And if Coriolanus didn't speak now, you would end up having a second mental breakdown.
But he caressed your cheeks. And he traced your face. Where your scar should've been. New waves of tears fall as you feel what he's doing. Only making shut your eyes harder.
"Look at me, y/n" you can't. You're not ready to hear him saying he used you once again.
"I can't." You whisper, sobbing. He decided then to grab you by the waist. Being so gentle, made you feel like two years ago when he was still your lover.
He placed you carefully on the bed. Making you hide your face against the pillows, ruining the white satin with your makeup.
He doesn't care. He just wants to be honest. Real. He's still young. Coriolanus knows he can't live the rest of his life married to you, making you believe he never loved you.
Only you would be able to see who he really was. Even if he ended up having children with you someday. He would never love them like you.
He could be cold and his decisions would be considered cruel. But the only person on earth that would judge him was going to be you.
"Please look at me, y/n" he caresses your cheek, smiling softly. Slowly, you sit, facing him finally.
You can see your old and sweet Coriolanus with the smile he's giving you. And it only makes you cry and cry again.
"I love you."
You stop. Hiccuping, you look perplexed at him.
He's still smiling.
You know he killed two people, probably three.
You'd never know he sent Sejanus to be hanged.
You know he's not the best person.
You'd never know he had a letter he was going to send to you before going to District 12.
You know he caused you so much pain.
And yet you thought you'd never hear him saying those three words.
"I made you suffer. I ruined everything. You know what I did just by looking at my eyes. How can we love each other after all?" You shrug. Trying to control yourself and answer him properly.
"Maybe because we never got the chance to make it real." He chuckles, taking your hand.
"You know I also did cruel things this year." He nodded, having no right to judge you. He wondered if you did all of that from rage, for everything that happened.
"And I still believe you deserve the world, Capitol's dream girl…" he makes you laugh. Out of embarrassment from the silly nickname Flickerman gave you.
"My father was a bad man, and yet, he always treated my mom right. I can't promise I'll be perfect, but I will never hurt you again" You brush his hair. Dishevelling it in the process, making him look like a year ago.
"Promise me. Just you and I, getting each other's back" he says. And you know you'll go to hell for being with him. But he was the love of your life.
"Just you and I, my love" he smiles again.
"I'll make you First Lady of Panem one day. It'll fit better for your current nickname" you roll your eyes.
"What will we do with that much power?" He stares deeply into your eyes. You changed his hair, and he hoped he could still see the scar on your face. But it was gone. Just like the girl he met two years ago. So was the boy he was. But it was okay. Because he'd make you be like him. And nothing would matter more than you and him.
"Everything, dear" you smile. And feeling like teenagers again, both lean at the same time to kiss. Like it was the first time.
"Can I?…" he asks on your lips. You nod, hugging from his neck.
He kisses you finally. Soft, slow but demanding.
And you remember you made it. Your husband would have the power, but you just won control.
And for the next two weeks, during summer break, Coriolanus and you spent your days in District 1. Spending the days eating in the best restaurants, visiting museums, and swimming in private pools. Spending the nights exploring each other for the first time. He marked you his and you marked him yours. Watching the moon and forgetting about the university, moving into a new house, letting the past die.
Maybe the memory of Lucy Gray Baird would haunt Coriolanus for the rest of his life, but you were going to be there to turn it into haze. And maybe you would never forget the pain of losing thanks to him, but he would paint your days golden. He would be a good husband who would make it up each day.
…
The first day of your second year of University started differently. Coriolanus refused to learn to drive and refused to let you do it. But you convinced him it was okay.
You left home together. And arrived together on campus. Went through the stairs holding hands.
"Look, it's The Capitol's trendiest couple" Persephone, an old classmate from the Academy but also a new friend said. Festus, Clemmie, and other new friends were there, laughing and making fun of you and Coriolanus.
And you blushed. Abruptly stopping your steps. Your husband turned to see you.
"Everything is fine?" You nod, smiling.
"I just… This is exactly how I wanted to begin University last year" It made his heart clench.
"Only… he's missing it" Like a needle taking him aback, Coriolanus knew what you meant.
"He'd hate what we have become though" It's bad, but you laugh.
"You're right, dear" you agree with your husband.
"But happy for us…" he adds, and you nod. Grabbing his arm to finally enter the building.
Soon, two peacekeepers call you to Gaul's office, just like last year. She's not there. But there's a letter on her desk.
You exchange looks with Coriolanus. He tilts his head and follows you to the desk. Carefully, he grabs the envelope and opens it.
Students, as the summer ends, I hope you had a pleasant summer.
Congratulations on your success after the games, Mr and Mrs. Snow.
Given the circumstances of Dean Highbottom's death last year, I won't be able to begin with the preparation for the 12th Hunger Games.
I believe you two have gained enough knowledge to start without me.
You'll find materials in the backroom of my principal laboratory. You'll find it quite interesting.
Make me proud and you two will be the first and automatic option to replace me in a couple of years.
And keep in mind what I always ask. What are the games for?
Dr. Volumnia Gaul
No words are exchanged after reading the letter. Coriolanus only nods to you, agreeing to the message.
So you go to the principal laboratory. It's clean and the sound of different animals is the only sound inside.
There are two long tables, and it's obvious, that there are at least six corpses covered in white blankets.
When you pull away the blanket, you gasp in shock.
The corpses that were once humans now seemed a mix of animals.
Until you see what it is.
"Coryo. These are the corpses of the death tributes" You are shocked. He was also surprised.
"The mutt bite… transformed them?" Slowly, you nod. He hands you some gloves and a face mask
"Every year I end up creating something more vile" you admit touching the slimy skin of the corpses, turning dark and the human face blemished. Only a girl from District 4 had won Mags. A lot of people loved her. But the cheer wasn't very loud, thank you and your marriage.
"These were also the people who probably agreed on the bombs. They hate us, y/n" he's right.
"They need a yearly reminder that war is over. That we won and that you won't give up" You turn to face him. There's the anger and hate you disliked about him. But now you have plenty of reasons to agree with him.
"They deserve this."
"You're right"
He sees you making some tests to study the altered DNA and smiles. He was so fucked up.
"Don't stare, silly. Come here and help me. There's a lot to do" you say playfully. So he smirks mockingly and starts helping you.
"Maybe we could have some resting after this" he suggests, you laugh.
"Here? With deformed corpses? I don't think so, dear"
"Not here. We can go to the private ladies' room." Sometimes you made fun of him for having the kind of a pervert teenager. Ever since you decided to make up with him, Coriolanus and you were the biggest switching couple in the history of sex.
"Oh, my goodness. Can you behave for once, Mr. Snow?" You ignore him, sealing some glass containers with pieces of skin, fluids, and more from the corpses.
"You know what? Forget it. We haven't done it in the upper living room, or the library. Yeah, I can wait." Brushing past him, you laugh.
"I swear I will turn you into a mutt if you don't shut up, Coryo" both of you laugh. And Coriolanus feels happy. He thinks he has your back. He finally won.
He won the money, the fame, and the power was growing. And he won the girl.
…
It was already dark when you were done doing the practices at the University. Coriolanus helps you with your coat and bag as you make your way to the car.
"After you, dear" he indicates that you should sit first. So you do, and after you start the car, you turn to see him.
He has rebellious hair hanging on his forehead. He lets you brush his hair and smiles, relaxing after a long day.
There's time to catch your lips and kiss you deeply. Hands on your hips as usual and yours tangled in his hair. Even after brushing it.
"Do you think she'll notice?" He asks agitated, breathing unevenly. You giggle, fixing your dark purple lipstick through the mirror of the car.
"She gave us six bodies, but seven doesn't make much difference. Right?" He smiles too, even giggling a bit.
"I can't wait to take a shower," he admits.
"I can't wait for you to take me to bed after shower" Before you make it outside of campus, he kisses you again, squeezing your inner thigh, almost making you moan.
"Me neither…"
___________________________
Taglist: @sarnbarnes @user0440822 @poppyflower-22 @h-l-vlovesvintage @zxrcle @gloryekaterina @dakotali @especiallythewomenandthechildren @mymadokamagica @drvnkn-dazed
In my head… this was the wedding dress<3
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stray kids and… things they only share with you.
tags: ot8, established relationships, fluff
warnings: swearing, lowkey angst for han, i don’t actually know the gender of min’s cats okay, idk if there’s anything else?
notes: this is my first time doing an ot8 thing so feedback is appreciated <3 also idk if they’re the same length i just wrote lol
chan… headphones
you’re on chan’s bed, a book in hand as you read while chan works. quality time is very important to you, even if he is observed in his work and doesn’t say much while you’re reading.
every now and again he’ll get up for a drink and silently put one by your side, too. when he’s done something he’s specifically proud of he’ll let out a giggle and maybe clap his hands, instinctively turning to you with a smile even if he doesn’t stop to explain what made him happy.
if you’re feeling a little more touchy that day, he’ll happily let you wrap your arms around his shoulder as his focus remains on his work. he’ll let you pepper kisses on his cheek, blushing lightly, before you get bored and go back to your own work.
when he’s done making something he really likes he turns to you with a grin.
“mate,” he says, face beaming. “mate!”
“come on,” you say, marking your place in your book before putting it aside. you extended your hand to him, and he grabs the headphones he’s been using and hands them to you.
you place them securely on your head and nod at him, ready to listen. chan plays the track for you, finally resting his head on your shoulder.
he wraps his hand around your bicep, closing his eyes softly as he picks up the very faint sound of the track playing through the headphones.
when it’s done you smile down at him, ready to praise him, but his mouth is open—soft breathes leaving his lips, and so you know he’s asleep.
instead you connect the headphones to your spotify and listen to a podcast while you rest your eyes. you don’t dare move, just in case chan might wake up from the disruption.
you know he might scold you for not waking him up, but it’s almost three am—and by what you’ve just listened to it’s safe to say he finished the track, so there’s no reason he shouldn’t be allowed to sleep after his hard work.
you let yourself fall asleep as well once the podcast you’ve been listening to is over, carefully putting the headphones to the side as you know how important they are to chan.
the first time he let you use them you gasped, but he insisted since you left your pair at home and wanted to listen to music while studying without bothering chan’s concentration.
“i have a lot of pairs anyway,” he said calmly, “borrow them whenever you need.”
minho… cat snacks
you both sit on the floor of his parents’ house, full from the dinner minho cooked for you and his family. you were talking about your new neighbour who you swore had a pet wolf. minho kept saying it isn’t a wolf, that he even spoke to the man and it’s just a cross breed.
you insist it’s a wolf.
his father sides with him, saying that would have to be illegal, but before you can offer your argumatives points, dori walks over to you, sits in your lap, and starts meowing loudly.
“he really is just like you,” you say to minho. he cocks his head to the side. “he wants something so he comes to me and starts making noise.”
“he’s hungry,” minho explains, rolling his eyes at your comment.
he gets up and grabs three snack packs, handing you one before he calls the other two over for some dinner.
from the corner of your eye you can see minho’s mum staring at you, in complete shock—but you try not to get too paranoid about it. you know she likes you, minho promised she likes you.
you instead focus on the cat in your lap, now meowing even louder once the snack came into view. you quickly open it and offer it up, giggling at the way he eagerly starts licking at the food.
when you glance over at minho you freeze, noticing the tension in the air.
“am i doing it wrong?” you whisper, as if dori might judge you for that question.
he shakes his head slowly but doesn’t say anything else. his mum quickly brings up another subject, asking you all about that incident at work you mentioned on your last visit.
minho helps them clear the last of the plates and cups that are left, insisting you sit down even after you offered to help three times.
soonie approaches you slowly before sitting down right on top of your phone.
you start talking to her, explaining the logic behind her actions, and she then shows you her stomach. you instantly start scratching it, knowing if she’s anything like her big brother she’ll start rioting if she doesn’t get the attention she wants.
after a few minutes of cooing at the cat you feel someone sitting down next to you, a pair of big hands wrapping around your waist, minho placing his chin on your shoulder.
“my mum just told me off,” he says, and you can hear the grin on his face.
“what did you do?”
“apparently i have never in all my life let anyone else feed the cats with me.”
“she was looking at me weird,” you mumble, “didn’t think it would be over something so simple.”
“you know the cats mean the world to me, right?” he looks at you, brows knitted together. now he’s looking at you weird—and it doesn’t help that they have the same confused face.
“yes, they’re your lockscreen and i’m not.”
“not this again,” minho sighs, but you simply grin at him.
“what’s your point?”
“i didn’t notice i do that, nor did i notice i gave you one of the snacks to feed them with,” is all his explanation. you manage to fill in the blanks yourself—knowing minho would never say it if it’s as painfully honest as you think it is.
you kiss his lips softly. “thank you for trusting me with your world.”
he nods, satisfied you understood him. like you always do.
changbin… phone
“hey, can you text the boys for me? tell felix we’ll be there in a second,” changbin says, handing you his phone as he keeps his eyes focused on the road.
“password?” you ask, trying to angle the phone towards his face until you remember it’s an android and it doesn’t even have face recognition.
“your birthday,” he says simply.
“simp,” you giggle, trying and failing to bite back your smile. changbin pays no mind to your comment, deciding being a simp for you is much better than ever letting you down—so he’ll accept that name proudly.
you text felix the details and put the phone back in the cup holder, focusing instead on the next song on changbin’s playlist.
“hey, can you order the food? i’m just gonna shower,” changbin asks as you enter the dorm. he came to pick you up right after his gym session, and while he didn’t want to see you while he was all sweaty he also didn’t want to make you wait any longer, so he still needs a shower.
you don’t have to ask for the passcode this time, easily keying in your birthday before ordering the food you talked about on your way home.
you notice he has solitaire on his phone, and while that might not be the most appealing game in the world you’re also extremely bored. you know you shouldn’t use his phone for anything other than what he’s asked you to, so you knock on the shower door quickly.
“binnie, can i play on your phone until the food’s ready?”
“of course, sweetheart!” he yells back.
you smile to yourself before plopping down on the couch and starting a new game.
the boys spent approximately forty five minutes taking pictures while all of you went to the han river for a picnic. it’s alright though, because they also took pictures of you with your boyfriend, and of you alone, so it’s not like you were excluded from the vanity game.
once the sun disappeared and the weather turned cooler you went back to the dorm to finish the rest of the food.
they were all looking over the pictures, deciding which was the best one to upload.
“who took the picture of me with the watermelon?” minho asks enthusiastically.
“binnie did,” you respond, as you spend your time focusing on the delicious cake felix made.
minho whines, considering changbin was taking one of his food naps at the moment and couldn’t show him the pictures.
you grab his phone from where he placed it down on the table and enter his gallery—handing the phone over to minho so he can look over the pictures.
he simply gasps at you.
“you know his passcode?”
you lock the phone again, showing minho that it was your thumb print that can unlock it.
“wow,” chan chuckles.
you don’t pay much attention to them though, far more invested in the cake, and so you get back to eating it while minho sends himself all the pictures off changbin’s phone.
hyunjin… jewellery
it starts flirtatious, like most things are with you and hyunjin. you’re playing with his hand, fiddling with his fingers, drawing circles on his wrist. you grab the ring on his finger and pull it off before placing it on the finger next to it. and then the finger next to it. you play this game for a few more minutes, hyunjin’s eyes practically turned into two hearts as he took in the amusement on your face. as he giggles, he grabs the ring from you and you pout—sad for the game to be over. but it isn’t, as the roles are now reversed, hyunjin moving the ring from finger to finger.
it’s then the waitress approaches your table, albeit hestitanly, and asks for your orders.
the ring stays on your hand all night.
“it suits you,” hyunjin says when you try and give it back.
“beautiful, can i have my ring?” he asks as he steps out of the shower a few days later. he has an event tonight, some important people he needs to meet, and he wants to look his best. jewellery is important for that.
“yeah, of course,” you don’t even hesitate. it was his ring to begin with, and he never officially gifted it as yours to keep. you were just looking after it for a bit.
when hyunjin gets back from paris he has a lot of gifts with him—all ysl branded and expensive. he shows off the clothes and the perfume and tells you all about the luxurious evenings him and felix enjoyed. of course, he sent you pictures as most of the events were taking place in front of him, but you enjoy his story telling even more when he’s right in front of you.
when he shows you the necklace he got you gasp, turning it over in your hand.
“it’s so pretty!” you gush. “that’ll look beautiful with a low neckline dress.”
“never wore a dress before,” his eyes twinkle at you.
you laugh at him and roll your eyes before handing the necklace back to him.
“you can wear it for that fancy meal we’re going to next week?” he offers simply.
you shake your head; not wanting to come off greedy. it was beautiful, and it must’ve been extremely expensive, and you already felt guilty for that comment you made. as if you’d just be allowed to wear it.
“i can’t take that, it was a gift from a brand partner. what will they say?”
“you’re not taking it,” hyunjin says simply, and you’re surprised by how quickly he’s giving up. “it’s a lend. you’ll wear it for that night and then give it back. and when you wanna wear it again just ask.”
“but i—“
he places his finger on your lips before pecking them softly, concluding the conversation for now.
jisung… demos
“baby! baby! baby! baby!” your boyfriend jumps in his seat as you answer the facetime call. sometimes you wonder where his energy supply comes from because it can’t possibly be natural.
it’s ten at night.
“hey, ji,” you smile at him. his energy is infectious, and the best thing to see after a long day of work.
“baby! i wrote the best song!” he smiles at you, his cheeks scrunched together as his face shines proudly.
“let’s hear it,” you ask, quickly grabbing your headphones so you could listen carefully.
he places the phone down against his water bottle, changing the view slightly.
his hair is hiding beneath a beanie, probably because he couldn’t be bothered to tame it, and his laptop is right in front of him.
other than that you can’t see much considering there’s only a small lamp illuminating the room, pointing only at the desk. there’s pieces of paper crumbled by the laptop—unwanted lyrics, you suppose.
“it doesn’t have a name yet,” he introduces, “and i might give it to the company because i’m not sure if the vibe is right for us. i think it could be right maybe if chan rearranges it a bit, but i don’t think it needs any change at all. maybe? maybe if felix sings the bridge then—“
“—hey! j.one!” he looks over at you, eyes wide and mouth in a small circle. “just play the song and then we can discuss it?”
he nods at you, sitting back in his chair and pressing play on his program.
the track starts playing loudly on the speakers around him. it’s slightly choppy, not the best quality to hear a song for the first time through a phone like this, but jisung is extremely impatient. he wanted you to hear the song right away, quite literally as soon as he finished recording the last part of it. so you didn’t mind straining slightly to try and catch all the lyrics.
jisung bops his head along to the beat, his face extremely serious as he listens back carefully.
you assume it’s only his second or third time hearing it back in completion since he doesn’t even monitor your reactions like he sometimes does—instead he’s taking notes.
you know his favourite part is coming up when his hand lifts into the air, dropping in time with the beat before the chorus plays again.
his eyebrows are scrunched together as a much faster rap verse starts, and you can tell he’s monitoring the cadence, even if it is just a demo track and he will most definitely re-record the vocals once he decides what to do with the track.
only when the song ends does he look back at you, expectedly, eyebrows high on his nervous face.
you clap your hands, nodding at him.
“nah, say what you actually think!” he all but scolds you.
“i think it deserved applause!”
he sends you a look before you go into more detail. what you thought of the beat, and the pace, and the sound, and the vibe. you aren’t professionally involved in music, you only know the words jisung taught you, but he still insists your opinion is more important than chan’s to him. you tell him that flattery isn’t useful in this situation, nor do you believe its true, but he stands by it.
“but the lyrics,” you start, and jisung’s eyes frown at your tone. “they’re incredibly moving, ji, but they’re so sad.”
“yeah,” he just nods, no longer looking at you.
“the beat doesn’t match how sad it is,” you comment, trying to disguise your worries as a simple criticism of the work.
“that’s on purpose though,” he says quickly, “i think it’s so sad that if the music matched it would be too much. plus, the feeling i’m talking about is acting like everything is normal, so a quick beat matches perfectly.”
you nod. “and why are you acting like everything is normal?”
jisung sighs, before he answers your question with a completely different one. “do you think i should give the song to someone else?”
“no,” you say, “felix would suit the bridge. and an emotional song is always best when it’s sang by someone that can relate.”
“i don’t wanna talk about it,” he says, knowing where you’re trying to take the conversation.
“and yet you called me to listen to it,” you cock your eyebrows up.
jisung rests his head against the chair for a moment, looking up as he thinks over his next words carefully. then he tells you all about it—the inspiration behind another one of his sad songs. you listen carefully, humming and nodding and offering your support and your words when he asks for them.
after about an hour on the phone a warning comes up to tell you you only have 20% left.
you go to grab your charger, and the pause in conversation causes the subject to move to your day and your plans for the weekend before they circle back to the song.
you do really like it, and tell him as such, encouraging him to show it to chan and the others soon.
after you say your goodbyes, and you reassure jisung of how much you love him, you go to sleep with the beat still stuck in your head.
when you tell jisung that the next morning he decides he can’t possibly give that track to anyone else—not even his band.
the company like it so much they let him release it as one of his solo tracks—his face beaming when he tells you the news two weeks later. right before playing another new song for you.
felix… games
“no way!” you gasp as you look around felix’s room for the very first time. he has all sorts of trinkets and fairy lights and even a beautiful piece of artwork on the wall. and then there’s his computer with the huge double monitor—which looks more expensive than anything else you’ve seen in the house so far.
but by the monitor there is a glass case, and inside it is an original gameboy.
“does it still work?” you ask enthusiastically.
“of course it does,” he scoffs, “i play it all the time.”
“you play your switch all the time,” you correct him.
“and then i play a little bit of that one,” he says, “it has the first ever pokémon on it.”
“what other games do you have for it?” you ask, eyes sparkling at him.
felix pulls out a box from the shelves above his monitor and hands it to you.
you opened it quickly, picking up all the different games inside it. all the popular ones are there, as well as ones you’ve never even heard of before. you can count at least three dozen in there. there’s also games for a nintendo ds (you spot a pink one on the shelf where the box once was), at least another dozen. you sigh and hand the box back to him.
“you really are a nerd, yeah?”
felix grins at you before giving you a sloppy kiss and carefully placing the box back on the shelf.
the tour continues as felix shows you his collection of twice albums and mangas and his deadpool mask he used for a performance once.
he further proves your point when he starts telling you just how rare one of his comic books are, but you indulge him. you think nothing is more rare than the sparkle in his eyes when he talks about his nerdy stuff—as if he brought down the whole galaxy into this very room—so you give him your full attention as he speaks.
later that night, when you’re both fed and dressed in comfier clothes, him and his younger roommates start playing a game. felix only said yes because you were showering (and you said it’ll take a while because you wanted to do a hair mask) but now that you’re back he asks the boys to pause it.
“no, no, it’s fine!” you say, not wanting to get on their bad side on your first night staying over. “maybe i can play on your ds in the meantime?”
seungmin snickers to himself, but he’s so focused on the game you’re not sure it was in response to what you said.
“i saw that you had nintendogs and i can definitely entertain myself with that while you guys finish your… mission or whatever it is.”
“y/n, let me stop you right there,” jeongin smirks, eyes still focused on the screen. “no one is allowed to touch hyung’s games so—“ felix elbows his friend, but that doesn’t stop him from talking, “—we’re only allowed to use the xbox when he’s with us and because we have our own controllers.”
“i almost died once before i was made aware of that rule,” seungmin adds.
you notice felix’s cheeks have gone red, his freckles dusting over the new colour. he’s always been extremely generous to you—if it was gifts or his time or his things. but if his games were a line for him you didn’t want to cross it, nor did you mean to.
“oh, of course!” you say quickly, “i can just do something else. you guys enjoy the game!”
you move to get up but felix stops you, placing a hand on your knee before he pauses the game. luckily they weren’t in the middle of a fight or anything, so the boys don’t protest too much.
felix places a kiss on your cheek before he gets up, walks to his room, and comes back with the console in his hand.
you can see seungmin’s jaw drop.
“what?” you blink up at felix as he places the game in your hand.
“you can start a new game and name it so i’ll know it’s yours for whenever you come over,” he smiles simply, nodding at you.
“unbelievable,” jeongin mumbles.
“i guess there really is such a thing as girlfriend privilege,” seungmin shakes his head.
felix smiles at you when you power up the console, kissing your temple when you shuffle closer to him. then he gets back to the game—not letting either of his roommates comment on the situation further.
seungmin… hoodies
“no,” seungmin says simply.
jisung was stood in your hotel room, begging seungmin to let him borrow that hoodie of his, the one with the red heart on the front. according to jisung, it’s exactly what his outfit is missing.
“what about that hoodie you wore yesterday?”
“no, the heart is what makes it because i’m gonna wear a red bandana and—“
“—so you’re stealing minnie’s whole fashion sense?” you chime in. seungmin smirks proudly at his friend as he raises his eyebrows.
“no, uh, i just wanna try something different,” jisung defends.
“if i may,” you try, offering your own fashion advice. jisung had a very nice cardigan with a hint of red in it, and you reminded him of that. he thought it over.
“a hoodie would be warmer though,” he tries again, flashing your boyfriend the best puppy eyes he could master.
“sorry, hyung,” seungmin shakes his head, “y/n already called that hoodie for tonight.”
jisung looks over at you, eyes wide.
“you couldn’t have said that earlier? i’ve been stood here wasting my time!” he rants some more as he leaves the room, letting the whole floor know about his inconsiderate friend that won’t let him live his fashion life to the fullest.
you laugh as his voice dies down slowly.
“so now i gotta find an outfit that works with that hoodie i guess?” you raise your eyebrows at him.
you did not call that hoodie for tonight at all actually, but if that was seungmin’s only excuse, you didn’t want to contradict him in front of his extremely stubborn friend.
“you could’ve just let him borrow it for tonight,” you try reasoning.
“nope,” seungmin pouts, “you’re the only one that should be wearing my hoodies.”
you laugh at him, wrapping your arms around him as you kiss his jaw softly.
“now i feel bad,” you tease, “i get bestowed with such an honour and i don’t even want your hoodie.”
he gasps. “you steal them all the time!”
“yeah,” you scrunch your face as you chuckle, “but now that you gave me permission i don’t want them anymore.”
“you’re so annoying,” he groans, pinching your sides. you yelp, jumping at the sensation before slapping his shoulder.
“i will wear it,” you say simply, “but only so ji doesn’t think you’re a liar.”
you walk towards the closet, where seungmin unloaded his whole suitcase into, and pick out the now infamous hoodie. you smile softly to yourself—it really is your favourite of his.
seungmin chuckles at your reaction, before sucking his teeth. “we’ll be late for dinner, come on.”
jeongin… personal space
jeongin does not like physical affection. he doesn’t do hugs or kisses or cuddles. that’s his rule.
but every rule has an exception and you’re the living proof.
when anyone else tries to touch him he squirms away, usually making a comment suitable for a spoiled child. but whenever you’re near him he does everything in his power to be closer to you.
if you’re walking down the street he’ll wrap his pinky around yours or sometimes he’ll fully grab your hand and sway your arms as you two walk.
he’ll play with your hair a lot too, always making sure to move it out the way before you start digging into your meal so it doesn’t get in your food.
if you’re watching a movie his thighs are in your lap and his arms around you. maybe he’ll even put his head on your shoulder if he’s a little sleepy that night.
and he refuses to fall asleep without his hand lazily sprawled across your body in some way or another.
the boys are definitely jealous, so they try their luck with jeongin after they see the physical affection between you two.
he still pushes them away with disproportionate disgust.
one time you were there to witness it and he fully grabbed you—using your body as a shield between him and chan’s attempted cuddles.
“no touchy!” he reminds him, grabbing onto your arms as he makes himself as small as possible to avoid chan reaching him.
“it’s not fair,” chan whines, “you let her touch you all the time!”
“channie-hyung,” jeongin pokes his head around your shoulder, ready to push you between him and his attacker at any moment if needed. “you realise it’s different when it’s you.”
“why?”
“because i love her,” he says it so simply, as if chan is silly for even needing that explanation. as if that isn’t the first time he’s said that out loud.
chan raises his eyebrows in surprise and you’re sure he’s just mirroring your shocked facial expression.
“you don’t love me?” chan reacts quickly, letting the tension die in the air as he insists he must hug jeongin now. ducking behind you, he grabs onto him and pulls him away from you. jeongin escapes from chan’s grip and they both start running around the room like absolute children until chan tackles him into a bear hug.
later that night you’re in jeongin’s bed, his hands locked behind your back as he pulls you fully on top of him.
“innie,” you start, as casually as you can, “you know if you don’t like them in your personal space you can just say that.”
“yes, i tell them all the time. no touchy.”
“i meant, you didn’t have to say that to chan just as an excuse,” you say, your finger wrapping around the string of his hoodie.
jeongin knits his brows as he looks at you.
“huh?”
“just… don’t feel like you have to lie.”
“lie? what are you talking about?”
he really doesn’t seem to remember what he said, so you swallow down the awkwardness and take a breath.
“you shouldn’t have told chan you lov—“ but before you can repeat what he said, jeongin’s eyes grow wide and his palm lands on your mouth, stopping you from saying anything else.
“i remember what i said now!” he says, looking everywhere but at you. “no, uh, no need to repeat it!”
you bite down on his palm gently, enough to get him to yelp and retreat his hand away so you can speak your mind.
“so you meant it?”
the redness on his cheek is enough of an answer, but jeongin decides to verbalise it, too. “no.”
“innie, don’t lie to me!”
he grabs you closer, practically shoving your head into his neck so you don’t see his warm face. he grunts.
“i, i didn’t, well, it’s just—“
“i love you, too.”
the grip on your waist loosens for only a moment before he squeezes you even closer to him, regardless of how your airways are coping.
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