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kktrivechallenge3 · 2 years

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Own Your Future Obstacle May 11th

The speaker listing is going to blow your mind. These men encounter as very authentic and I actually feel that I can trust them. I have consequently registered myself for the sessions. I have just a couple of relying on exactly what it is I'm trying to find out. Among my coaches, Dean Graziosi, stated so flawlessly on my podcast-- "Stop asking HOW? One more terrific benefit for upgrading to VIP experience is that you obtain access to the Millionaire Success Habits. It's not just an e-book and audio publication. One of the Own Your Future Challenge trains will certainly damage every little thing down one hr each week. " As simple as that seems, that wisdom is what she offered me each day that I really did not understand was advancing. When I went out in the world differently, those words of my grandmother, this lady who needed to stop seventh grade, are probably the best words I have actually ever had. Thanks for letting me brag about her today because I miss her. If I can have an hour with her and allow her see what I have actually done with her aid, it would be powerful. Exactly how do you improve the world economic climate? It starts with enhancing your own economic situation and also your family's economic climate. It's a new change as well as new activity, aiding a single person at once. We'll reveal you the straightforward process on day 2 exactly how to recognize where you go, "I do have that and also individuals require it," and after that who to share it with and after that how to share it. I'm going to do my favorite training on day 3 on how to get rid of the entire thought process of marketing and also make it solution. That if you're not assisting individuals and also sharing what you know, you're really doing them a disservice. When I do that, it's my favorite training as well as it's my fave of viewing the effect. When your inner self-doubt questions you and also your friends and family question you, you begin feeling like that impostor. Once more, I started off damaged, yet after that I reached retire my mother, which was my main goal at 27, and my dad at 32. The Tony Robbins 10 Day Health Challenge! It is so crucial to keep in mind that, as we travel through life, there will certainly be so many occasions which we ca n`t control. These are points that relatively alter our lives for life or come to be barriers for living a life of fulfillment. It' s important to remember that the ultimate experience of life is not to be managed by occasions. All of us have challenging occasions in our lives - the loss of family members, business economics, anxiety, litigation, government disturbance in our companies, health and wellness challenges. Which you might know, 80% of New Year's resolutions are entirely deserted by February. Russel Brunson is the King of Funnel Building. He has actually offered numerous countless copies of his publications and also co-founded a software business called ClickFunnels that has modifications the lives of countless entrepreneurs globally. Entrepreneur, businesswoman, television character, and also New york city Times bestselling writer from the USA. For thousands of years people have adjusted and also pivoted to make it through. Glo Atanmo influences the traveling industry as an on-line instructor and also content producer. She's landed appearances in Forbes, Oprah Publication, Conde Naste, Significance, Buzzfeed, as well as a lot more after traveling to over 80 countries throughout 6 continents and also collaborating with brand names in the process. Pete Vargas, the creator of Advance Your Reach, is a professional at informing individuals on how to make use of phases to broaden their business. He and his team have actually booked more than 25,000 phases around the globe. Our goal is not to neglect the troubles of life, but to place ourselves in far better mental as well as emotions where we can not only generate remedies, however act on them. My spouse was ready to go down $10k for the 2 year program where you participate in 4 events going over every little thing. We could not also make it through each 12 hour day because of alot if the BS you spoke about. I informed my husband there ar possibly teams as well as events around where we can border ourselves with like minded people for a fraction of this cost. More time to chat with the people around us. One of the most beneficial time, for me, was when we shared our lives with each various other. Any kind of such extra Early Competition Prizes and Daily Prizes will be awarded making use of the exact same requirements as provided in Paragraph 10, here. Contact Consumer Support for questions on your items, coaching, or events ... My diet plan isn't such as one of a nomadic collector!!! ( is it?) Lately, I have actually been consuming a great deal of yearn nuts. A bag of those coincides calorie consumption as 3 warm fudge sundaes! And also I was additionally eating a lot of dried out fruits. Why I Walked Out On Tony Robbins My Very Truthful Review The United States has not won a global medal at the weight since Costs Zadick won at 66kg in 2006, yet Cornell's Diakomihalis would love to be the one to break that streak. After beating Penn RTC's Joey McKenna in a finest two-out-of-three match collection finally year's World Group Trial run, Diakomihalis went 1-1 at the 2021 Globe Championships, beating Colin Realbuto yet going down to Vazgen Tevanyan as well as leaving Oslo medal-less. In that respect, the Nutreco FeedTech Obstacle is various from most other start-up competitors. Likewise since the champion is not compensated with a prize money, yet with a high-value as well as uncommon chance for a scientific on-farm validation test. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-dean-graziosi-show/id1085301578 Leading Marker will instantly bypass the next round of evaluating and also be positioned in the last round of judging. The Administrative Evaluation process verifies that the submission satisfies the standards, policies and guidelines of the Challenge. But the new AI system was able to manipulate the plasma with a single controller, he stated. The tokamak is principally regulated by 19 magnetic coils that can be made use of to shape and place the hydrogen plasma inside the combination chamber, while routing an electric current through it, Felici explained. Felici is a lead author of a brand-new research study defining the task released in the journal Nature. He stated future experiments at the Variable Setup Tokamak in Lausanne will certainly try to find more means to integrate AI into the control of fusion activators. " What we did was actually a type of proof of principle," he stated. The experimental TCV tokamak at Lausanne in Switzerland is used to examine the actions of hydrogen plasmas that will work as fuel in future fusion reactors. That implies the industry first needs to establish an equitable means to share liability among the different gamers involved in each job. Anderson spoke to this while making use of RSS as a prime example. In the US onshore sector, RSS service providers have in the past decade seen their market share increase from next to nothing to regarding fifty percent of every foot that is pierced today. Thorup is the head of electronic innovation with Maersk Exploration (as well as quickly to be Noble Corp. upon the approaching finalization of a $3.4 billion merger announced in November 2021). " The goal was to better framework and also standardize the things that neither stakeholder wanted to alter to allow far better focus and exchange worth on enhancement opportunities," the paper checks out. " This technique set up a win/win circumstance" in which the high value placed by the driver on safety, quality, distribution, as well as price was just as useful to the exploration specialist. Hoffarth said his group discussion fixated a "lack of reward to innovate." Where there is an incentive, he said it's generally a carrot-and-stick recommendation that "develops a lack of equilibrium" for company, especially when performance metrics are not well specified. For Thorup, the largest thorn in the side of drilling automation is the business instance, or lack thereof.

#challange

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cosmicjoke · 3 years

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Alright, chapter 133 of SnK!

I’ve got a few things I want to talk about here.

One of the things that always strikes me about Levi as a character, indeed, one of his defining character traits, is his coolness under pressure. His calm demeanor, no matter the circumstances. One of the interesting things to go into is WHY Levi is like this.

We see it particularly exemplified in this chapter, I think, and there’s a few examples. For one, they’ve all just lost Hange as their friend and Commander, and this loss particularly impacts and affects Levi, since he was closer with Hange than any of them. But rather than allowing his grief to consume and paralyze him, Levi immediately begins trying to contribute when Armin says he wants to go over the plan, bringing up Hange’s theory about Zeke and how killing him might stop the Rumbling, etc... Then Eren transports them to Paths, and everyone reacts with shock and awe, except Levi, who’s expression is duly unimpressed and unsurprised. We see this from Levi throughout the series, of course. Situations that present themselves, new and frightening circumstances which throw everyone for a loop and send people into panic, Levi reacts to with calm collectedness, a distinct LACK of surprise or fear. He really does stand in sharp contrast with everyone else in this situation. Everyone there is a seasoned war veteran, at this point, they’ve all been through and seen some truly horrific things. But they still react with a kind of frantic uncertainty here. They then begin to plead with Eren, Armin and the rest trying to convince him through any means possible, to stop the Rumbling. They try to bargain with him, show him empathy, make promises, etc... They make their desperation obvious by saying whatever they think will appeal to Eren. Levi is the only one who, I think, is fully honest here. He tells Eren that if he stops now, he’ll let him off with JUST an ass-kicking. Levi doesn’t try to placate Eren, or show him sympathy, or empathy, he doesn’t try to be gentle or handle Eren with kid gloves. He tells him flat out he’s going to beat his ass for what he’s done, but he’ll show him some leniency for stopping by not killing him outright. The thing is, I think Levi’s known from the start of this whole disaster that talking to Eren wasn’t going to work. Everyone else was holding out hope that if they could just speak with Eren, he would stop, that they could convince him through words. But like I talked about in my last post, Levi is someone who’s just seen and experienced too much of life’s brutality and unfairness to blind himself to bleak reality. When the 104th goes running off after Eren appears to them, to try and reach him, Levi just sits down in the sand and has that resigned expression once more, and his expression continues to show a total lack of surprise when Eren puts the 104th back where they started, before they could ever even get close. Levi isn’t surprised, or even dismayed, I don’t think, at Eren’s refusal to talk, because I think he always knew he wouldn’t be willing to. That he wouldn’t be interested in hearing anyone’s pleas or promises. I think Levi always knew Eren was hellbent on this course of action, and it was more or less hopeless, trying to appeal to him. And once again, I have to restate, I think it’s because Levi’s just experienced too much hardship in his life to cling to false hopes. He’s world-weary and in many ways a realist, someone not given to delusion or fancy.

I feel like Levi probably glimpsed this uncompromising, hellish bent in Eren back in Liberio, his mercenary compulsion to follow through on whatever plan he had, which is why Levi was so disgusted by him on the airship back then. He saw a lack of mercy in Eren, and it reminded him of the brutes Levi grew up with in the Underground. Not just a willingness, but a desire to take from others to satisfy himself. It’s why, when they’re all transported back to the plane, while everyone else looks horrified and in shock at Eren’s refusal to talk, Levi looks as unflustered as ever, and states with a matter of fact tone that negotiations are over, before asking Armin what it is they do now. None of this is surprising to Levi.

Levi’s look of despair throughout this final arc continues to strike me as his resignation in the ugliness of humanity and the useless, pointless suffering they inflict on one another. He’s depressed, and disappointed, because everything happening around them is only a confirmation of all the worst things Levi saw and experienced, growing up.

All this ties into another point I want to discuss, which is Levi’s relationship with Jean, actually. I’ve found the relationship between the two of them really interesting since way back in the Uprising arc, when Jean was the most vocal in condemning Levi for his violence, declaring with certainty that he would never kill another person. Jean is disabused of his moralistic superiority not long after that, when he learns first hand the consequences of sticking to ones morals uncompromisingly, nearly losing his life, and forcing Armin to take a life for him. And it’s Jean who we see, again and again from that point on in the series, grappling with and coming to terms with this difficult lesson. We see Jean’s respect for Levi, and his understanding towards Levi, grow greatly, after this incident, and Jean himself having to grow, to change and accept that sacrifices are inevitable if one wishes to protect the things and people they care about. That sometimes even one’s own comfort and moral convictions are necessary sacrifices to achieve those things.

Levi tells everyone that he’ll take care of Zeke, but admits that he’ll need all of their help to get the job done. I feel like this is Levi, once again, asking if all of them are ready and willing to get their hands dirty, just like he did before they raided the Cavern underneath the Church on the Reiss property. He knows he can’t do this job by himself (which is just further testament to Levi’s strength of character, an ability to admit to weakness), but he wants to make sure everyone else is alright with plunging in to a situation in which they’re going to be forced to kill. Jean is the first to answer, telling Levi and all of them that he’s not going to let the sacrifices they’ve already made, the people they’ve killed in order to get where they are, be in vain, and that he’ll do whatever it takes to stop the Rumbling. This shows incredible character growth on Jean’s part. He went from someone who claimed that he would, under no circumstances, take another human life, to someone who declares that he’ll do whatever it takes in order to stop the Rumbling, to achieve a greater good. And I think this growth on Jean’s part ties directly into his relationship with and the influence of Levi. Levi never judged Jean for being uncomfortable with killing, never criticized or scolded him for it. He even told Jean that he couldn’t say, one way or the other whether Jean’s beliefs were right or wrong. That Levi himself didn’t know the answer to that. He never tried to convince Jean of anything. He just told him the truth. That his failure to kill had put the lives of his comrades in danger, including his own, and that it also caused Armin to have to bear the burden of killing another, one which should have been Jean’s own to bear. All of that is absolutely true. And it was really through this lack of judgment on Levi’s part that, I think, Jean was able to grow and expand his own views on killing, and adjust and allow for there to be circumstances in his world view which would justify taking another life. He wasn’t forced by anyone to change his views. He changed them based on experience and through Levi explaining to him that there is no definitive right or wrong answer to be found, and through Levi’s simply being honest with him. He was telling Jean that it comes down to what one is willing to sacrifice in order to protect the things and people they value. And Jean learned about himself that he’s willing and able to sacrifice more than he ever realized.

But it’s still a struggle, and something all of them, even at this point in the story, continue to battle themselves over. We see Connie struggling in particular this chapter, looking anguished over what he had to do back at the port. It’s only Levi who accepts that brutal reality of kill or be killed with a calm understanding, and I think this is probably because, unlike the rest of them, who all had peaceful, probably relatively easy and happy childhoods, without any exposure to violence or real cruelty, Levi, I think it can be safely assumed, probably took his first life while he was still a boy. And doubtless, that was due to desperate circumstances. Levi’s life has been one filled with uncertainty. Growing up in extreme poverty, he never could have known with any certainty where his next meal would come from, or when. Never knew with any certainty whether he could find proper shelter for the night, or a safe place to sleep. Never knew with any certainty whether he would be assaulted, or robbed, or if someone would attempt to take his life. Levi’s life has been one of desperation and a true, unforgiving struggle to simply survive. And so while all of his comrades have seen and experienced the horrors of war with him, none of them can know with the same level of understanding that true kind of desperation of simply trying to live day to day, that kind of awful and overwhelming uncertainty and fear of not knowing if you’ll be alive from one day to the next. It’s those kinds of experiences in life that really separate Levi from the rest of his comrades, and in a lot of ways, isolate him from them. It’s why the extremity of their circumstances and the desperation of their situation in this final arc continually shocks and overwhelms them, but Levi regards it all with his usual, if deeply saddened, calm.

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #Levi Ackerman #jean krischtein #snk 133 #meta #thoughts

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hyenahunt · 3 years

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Conquest: Epilogue - 1

Writer: Akira

Season: Spring

Proofreading: royalquintet (JP & ENG)

Translation: hyenahunt & haranami

Nagisa: …I have still yet to become God, so all I’m able to do is sing and dance atop this stage and hope I bring even the smallest amount of happiness to everyone’s lives.

[Location: Conquest Stage]

Ibara: (At long last, the big day is finally upon us.)

(After the incident, Eve went on what can only be described as a rampage…)

(And, as per His Excellency’s orders, Adam carried out a vast array of jobs and a countless number of performances to keep up with them.)

(Consequently, His Excellency — who’s now gotten a taste for this “God Mode” or such — declared on TV that he would “expel” Jun and I as well if we didn’t obey him…)

(Amongst other inflammatory statements.)

(I was planning on following his every command, anyways; there was no need for him to resort to threats.)

(Although, I have devised a plan that would allow me to break away if worse came to worst…)

(But that will be much more difficult to execute now that he’s made such a grand, public declaration.)

(Aghhh, he’s so infuriating. What on earth is he planning? Why has he chosen to behave in such an unhinged manner—)

Nagisa: …Fufu. This is fun, Ibara.

…I was always jealous. To me, it seemed like you were the only one who got to do what you wanted.

Ibara: Saying that I was “the only one” doesn’t quite reflect reality.

Those ES idols have been following their every whim lately — Trickstar especially, although this can even apply to His Eminence Eichi now.

Nagisa: …Yes. What was it that they did… “Tempest Fest”? That looked like lots of fun as well.

…It seemed like a very important event to Eichi-kun, or perhaps the entirety of fine . So naturally, I wasn’t able to join at the last minute.

…Not even those who found the event pointless would enjoy watching someone ruin it with a smile on their face, after all.

Ibara: Yes, it’s exactly as you say.

In fact, I’m sure that the reason His Highness Hiyori was so enraged after hearing this plan was because he felt that his bond with you was being severed for the sake of mere entertainment.

It’s aaaall about feelings… Every last one of you just acts based on your feelings and nothing else! I, for one, am trying to actually work here.

Nagisa: …Yes. However, “work” and “torture” need not be synonymous; if we can enjoy the work we do, that is naturally preferable.

Ibara: If everyone started affirming and agreeing with that, this world would become one wherein no one would work if they didn’t feel like it, and the economy would collapse.

Modern society is but a castle of sand. It is only able to remain standing because we all devote our labor and money to it, distributing burdens amongst ourselves.

Nagisa: …That’s right. If only there were a God who’d be able to shoulder everything.

…I have still yet to become God, so all I’m able to do is sing and dance atop this stage and hope I bring even the smallest amount of happiness to everyone’s lives.

Nagisa: …I do not find that painful at all. On the contrary, it is a joy, and I am extremely fortunate to consider it so.

…Ever since I was a young child, completely ignorant of the ways of the world, that has always been how I’d understand and communicate with him.

Ibara: “Him”?

Oh, good ― you’re finally here.

Hiyori: ......

Jun: Heya. Sorry we wound up cutting it so close...

Ohii-san's been taking on a stupid amount of work, so he'd put off everything else and let it all pile up to the point it was getting crazy outta hand.

Hiyori: Hmph, I'll hold onto anything and everything as much as I please and whenever I please, thank you very much.

And if I can't, then it's your duty to carry it, Jun-kun, so basically the fact that we're starting late is on you.

Jun: Goddamn. Honestly, sometimes... it feels like you reached out to me all for the sake of getting me to lug your bags around.

Hiyori: Even if that were the case, the fact that you even caught my attention should be a reason to rejoice, no?

Hiyori: Be it a simple bag-carrier or anything else, I aspire to pick out only that which is beautiful and lovable.

Jun: (Mm~... As I thought, Ohii-san still seems to be in a bad mood.)

(He may be talking normally with me and all, but he won't even look in Adam's direction.)

(This is supposed to be the final performance of Conquest and he's still acting like this — it's really not looking good.)

(The plan was for Adam and Eve to stand side-by-side despite their apparent fallout, and sing all together as Eden—)

(As a grand finale where we reconcile with the power of song, or love, or something...? That's how the outline for this goes, anyway.)

(The only songs we've got prepared are four-person numbers, too.)

(So if he doesn't at least patch things back up before the start of the show, we're gonna have a real problem on our hands...)

Ibara: (—That’s likely what Jun is thinking at the moment.)

(After all, our fans online have decided to take baseless rumors as official information for some reason; they’re all rather riled up at the moment.)

(Adam and Eve will both strive to earn as much L$ as possible for the duration of this performance…)

(And the subunit who earns the most will gain the right to henceforth lead Eden.)

(Of course, we’d never make such a change in reality. We’re simply adjusting to how the general public is viewing this event.)

(Well, we could have simply declared the rumors false and ignored them completely.)

(But that would diminish the fans’ excitement; it would be a poor business strategy, and as such I’d prefer to avoid doing so.)

(There will be nothing to worry about if Adam ― if His Excellency ― wins. There would be no need to relinquish leadership.)

(But Eve got something of a head start, so it appears that they’ve got the edge over us, if only by a bit.)

(As such, there was another last-minute announcement.)

(We’ll have all the fans gathered here vote for either Adam or Eve, whoever they think gave a better performance.)

(The administration will be the ones to calculate the number of votes, so I can simply have them make up some figures arbitrarily in order to ensure Adam wins.)

(Adam and Eve are supposed to have a true confrontation here in order to reconcile, so this isn’t the smartest way to do things…)

(If the fact that we forged the numbers was found out, the public would lose all trust in us. There’s simply no other way, though ― I can’t think of any other feasible tactics.)

(This is but a necessary evil. That’s all it is.)

Hiyori: ......

Nagisa: ......

Ibara: (It appears that there’s still a rather frigid atmosphere between His Excellency and His Highness. I’m sure the audience will be able to believe this more than a forced reconciliation―)

✦✦✦✦✦

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#hiyori tomoe #jun sazanami #nagisa ran #ibara saegusa #enstars #ensemble stars #enstars translation #type: event #s: conquest #era: !!#status: complete #hyenahunttl

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luna-tiel · 4 years

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What Entrapdak Means to Me

On the eve of Entrapdak Positivity Month, I thought it was as good a time as any to share my rambling thoughts on a ship that’s affected me in a way I didn’t think was possible.

Entrapdak is the first ship I have ever been invested in. It’s such a new experience for me that it’s taken me the last few months to wrap my head around the whole thing. I may relate to the characters in a show, but when they form romantic attachments I view it with a degree of passive distance. I don’t understand what it’s like to have those sorts of feelings for someone (I am aromantic and ace as a brick), and, well, I’m honestly not curious enough to give the subject a thorough study. My mind tends to fixate on other things.

What does this have to do with Entrapdak, you ask? Long story short for people who don’t want to read my meandering essay -- I relate a lot to these characters, and the way they bonded together struck a deep chord in me that I can’t ignore.

Let’s start with the characters. I knew going in that Entrapta was neurodivergent-coded, but I took it with a grain of salt. When I actually watched the show, however, I found myself relating to her so deeply it shocked me. Never have I felt such a kinship with a fictional character! We don’t share every trait, but it was still like seeing my brain put to life on screen. I related to her enthusiasm over her special interests, her struggles to fit in, her desire to make friends who accept and understand her for who she is.

The fact Entrapta is completely herself is something I love about her. Over the years of growing up undiagnosed, I developed a lot of masking strategies. Human psychology is one of my special interests, and even with all that accumulated knowledge, masking isn’t easy. It’s extremely mentally taxing. Masking can certainly look easy -- I can, when I have the drive and energy, “pass” as neurotypical, and only people who know me extremely well can tell I’m dying inside. All that effort is taken for granted by a lot of NTs because that’s how people are “supposed to” act, and surely I can “do the bare minimum.” The accumulated stress of near constant masking has led me to the darkest moments I’ve had in my life.

Entrapta’s struggle with leaving Beast Island hit me hard. It threw me back to a time when my feelings of isolation and worthlessness got so bad that I lost the energy to do anything, even the creative pursuits that were the obsession of my life. I retreated so deeply into my inner world that I hardly interacted with anyone. That total apathy shocked my family into getting me professional help, which gave me my autism diagnosis, the coping skills to move forward, and a good start on the road to self-acceptance. It also opened a channel between my family and I, allowing me to feel heard and understood. (An important side note on mental health: if you or someone you love needs professional help, please seek it! Sometimes you have to try out several therapists -- it took me three to find a good fit -- but you are worth it!)

It took me longer to realize, but I also relate to Hordak in some ways. Mercifully I was not raised in an extremist cult environment. However, I know what it’s like to feel defective next to a sibling that seems perfect. I was constantly being compared to my younger brother, and in all areas but art, he was superior. He was smart, athletic, and above all, he fit in with everyone. I didn’t hate him for this -- I hated myself. Trying to measure up to his standard is what caused me to develop such strong masking strategies. Underneath it all, I felt the despair of knowing my peers would reject me as soon as the mask cracked. I also live with chronic joint pain, starting at around age seven. The jury is still out on what’s causing that (the worst of it was due to a previously unknown food allergy, but the pain still comes and goes, even though it’s a lot more manageable than it used to be). This cocktail of pain, stress, and sensory issues I had to deal with gave me a very short fuse at times.

As an aside, just because I sympathize with Hordak does not mean I am excusing his actions. He is still going to have to face the consequences of his choices, and work to adjust to life post-Prime. The series end gave him a new beginning, the opportunity to be redeemed, and I prefer this to a rushed redemption arc.

What I love most about Hordak and Entrapta’s relationship is how they accept each other as they are. Hordak gives Entrapta near free reign of his sanctum, he listens to her when she talks, and he respects her opinions. Even when he pushes her away, he still considers the logic of what she tells him, and sometimes ends up doing things her way despite his initial instincts. This is something I do in my own life; I am easily overwhelmed by new information, so my initial response to an idea/activity is almost always a firm (and sometimes rude) “no,” until I have time to properly process and think about it. Hordak is the first person in Entrapta’s life that truly listens to her. He still has things he needs to work on, but it’s a lot better than how most of the princesses are with Entrapta. The Alliance treats her as someone to be managed -- she is useful, but unreliable. Hordak, in contrast, trusts her to get things done in her own way.

On the other side, Entrapta is the first person in Hordak’s life to accept him without judgment. Hordak spends so much of his energy putting up a front of strength and intimidation, and Entrapta cuts right through that. She’s not frightened by his appearance, and even his outbursts have little effect on her until the two of them start to bond. Entrapta doesn’t come into their interactions with any preconceived ideas of what Hordak is like, or more importantly, what he should be like. This lack of expectation leaves her completely open to accepting whatever Hordak does and says, and it also relieves Hordak of the burden of needing to put on a front around her. When Entrapta sees him at his most vulnerable, she reaches out to him with compassion, something he has never felt before. Entrapta also does this in a way that doesn’t belittle Hordak. His imperfections are not something to pity, they are a valuable part of who he is.

I loved watching their friendship develop. Entrapta and Hordak’s shared time together evolved slowly into a bond that gave each of them a sense of belonging they had never experienced before with anyone else. It gave me the hope that, despite what an oddball mess I am, perhaps I could find someone who understands me too.

When a romance subplot inserts itself into a story, I tend to gloss over and ignore it (if I pick up on it at all). I’m even less interested in sex. Way back when I was first getting into fandom I was so excited to go online and meet fellow fans of the books and shows I liked, only to discover the spaces being dominated by arguments over character pairings. I was baffled. This is what people are most interested in? Oh well… back to the hermit cave I go!

I was late to the party with SPoP. I’d watched a few episodes, but the show didn’t really hook me. This was partially because all I ever heard people talk about online was Catradora, and if that was the main appeal of the show, I wasn’t sure I would enjoy it (sorry Catradora shippers, romance is not going to entice me to watch a show, even if it’s rep). Quarantine was the ultimate cause for me embracing my curiosity and diving headfirst into SPoP, binging the entire thing a few months before the release of season 5.

I vaguely knew about Entrapdak as a ship going into the show, and I admit, had I not been primed for it, I probably would have missed the romantic potential entirely. In no way did I expect to become invested. I was immediately intrigued by their dynamic, and as they got closer, I found myself thinking “oh, I see why people ship these two.” I didn’t understand this realization until months later. I was relating to the characters, and for the first time in my life, I was relating to their relationship.

I headcanon Entrapta and Hordak as an asexual couple. I’ll elaborate on this at a later time (asexuality is a spectrum with a lot of nuance, and this post is plenty long already), but at the core of it, I find joy in imagining these characters in a loving platonic relationship, something I hope to find myself one day. I hope this love comes across in my artwork and in my fanfictions <3

To those of you that read this far, wow, you must be patient! Have an imaginary cookie! I hope this ramble has provided a decent picture for why I, as an aro ace on the autism spectrum, have come to cherish Hordak and Entrapta’s relationship. It’s my first and only OTP… I’m still in shock thinking about that… I guess we’ll see where things go from here!

Take care of yourselves out there!

#entrapdak #entrapta/hordak #entrapta #hordak #autistic entrapta #autistic experiences #relatable characters #fandom ramblings #spop #spop headcanons #asexual headcanon

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tvandenneagram · 3 years

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Hart of Dixie: Zoe Hart - Type 3w4

Zoe is ambitious, quirky and intelligent. She cares a lot about her career and is very focused on her calling as a doctor.

At her best, Zoe becomes more connected to the town and more in touch with the needs of others.

At her worst, Zoe is materialistic and elitist. She looks down on the town at first and thinks of them as simple.

When we first meet Zoe she is solely concerned on becoming the best heart surgeon in New York. Becoming a cardiothoracic surgeon had been Zoe’s dream since she was a child. I believe that Zoe connected her success in becoming a heart surgeon to the approval and love of her father. As this dream meant so much to Zoe, she focused almost all of her energy and determination into it which led her to miss out on some normal experiences. I think that this led to Zoe being somewhat clueless towards the emotions of others. When we first meet Zoe, she has missed out on her fellowship of choice because she had such an abrasive bedside manner to her patients. 3s can tend to become single-minded in going for their achievements, so much so that they become unaware of the consequences that their actions may have towards others which is what I think we are seeing in Zoe at the beginning of the show.

Zoe can tend to be a bit materialistic and superficial. We can see that she is concerned with her appearance and is always sporting the best fashions. Zoe is also concerned with her image in the sense of wanting people to perceive her in a good light. Zoe wants to have a good reputation and wants to be respected by the town. At times, Zoe can have a bit of an overinflated view of her self. We see this when Zoe returns to Bluebell from New York. She is expecting there to be a parade and for everyone to be so excited to see her, when in reality most people are upset with her for leaving without telling them. When Zoe realises that people think poorly of her, she kind of goes into damage control because she doesn’t want her image to be tainted.

Zoe is very concerned with status and I think she has a bit of a tendency to think of herself as above others. We see this when she first moves to Bluebell, as she thinks of the town as uneducated and behind the times. On a similar note, Zoe initially gravitates to George because he is a lawyer which she thinks is a ‘good’ job and he is the kind of person she thinks a person of her status should be with. I think this notion, lead to her denying her attraction and feelings for Wade as she felt like he was only a bartender and undermined him because of his job.

In her relationship with Wade, Zoe grows into a more well-adjusted individual. Wade helps her to see that things should not always be so serious and helps her loosen up a bit. He helps Zoe see beyond status and allows her to realise there are more important things in life than career. On the other hand, Zoe helps Wade to settle down and become more driven.

Zoe has fairly balanced wings and I think the wing she prefers depends on the situation she is in. I settled on 3w4 as early on in the show she had an attitude of being more achievement focused rather than getting others to admire her. She also had a preference to work hard for her achievements rather than use charm to get by. I think that in Bluebell, Zoe learned to lean more into the 2 aspects and shifted her perspective a bit as being a GP is more interpersonal than being a surgeon.

Tri-type: 3w4 - 1w2 - 6w7

Some quotes to describe Zoe’s traits and motivations:

“People can conquer miles, any sort of obstacle, if it’s meant to be.”

“Is it too much to ask for just one medical emergency? You know a rare illness, a blunt force trauma, an outbreak.”

“I am a strong and confident woman Wade. And I know that from the fact that I have had sex with no less than four other men, okay, none of who have complained that I am in great in bed. GREAT! Just like I am at everything else I do. I don't have anything to prove to you! You got that?”

“I am a capable person. I can handle this, just like I handled childhood, college, medical school.”

“I wrote that I am a thriving and beloved G.P. in a small town where everyday brings a new medical adventure and I'm changing lives and healing the world by reinventing healthcare in Bluebell, Alabama.... I may have exaggerated a little.”

Zoe: “You really put yourself out there, I was so scared that it wouldn't work and that we wouldn't have anything in common that I kind of sabotaged it. But the thing that I realized was that I like you Wade Kinsella. I really like you. And who knows maybe there's a chance you and I could be happy together. But we'll never know unless we try.” Wade: “What are you saying?” Zoe: “What I'm saying is that would you maybe consider being my for real out in public, everyone knows about actual boyfriend?”

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veryvincible · 3 years

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Do you think you could share some of your Tony Ty youth/relationship days hcs? hehe

Yours truly,

Tys obsessed fan

Oh boy! I have been sitting on this for a few days now, because there is, uh, a lot. Also, I adore you, and I love every Ty ask I receive.

I think this post would end up far too long if I responded the way I desire to in my heart, so I’ll keep it relatively simple (edit: it did not stay relatively simple, and also it branched out slightly into other topics. This is so very long. Be warned.)

Content warnings here for psychological/emotional abuse/domestic abuse/child abuse!

I like to think they didn’t really have a “let’s get together!” moment. I think they ended up becoming close, they were casual with each other, and it just kind of... became what it became. I think they probably ended up using labels at some point, but I don’t think there was ever an official, “Would you like to go out on a date with me?” or “Would you want to be, like, boyfriends?” moment.

I think Tony was a generally isolated kid (obviously, he gained acquaintances like Bruce and potentially Reed as he grew older, but you know) and Ty was... probably also a generally isolated kid. Ty may have had a few other “friends” around, given what we know about him; he’s certainly charismatic. I don’t think Ty would have really developed close friendships with many people, though, given that his personality seems more rotten the closer you get to him.

We don’t see a lot of their childhood together at all, so this is almost entirely shit I’ve come up with for the sake of fic writing and general note-taking for the sake of coherency with how I write Ty, but.

One thing I tend to lean toward is the idea that Ty had kind of an awful home life. This isn’t really an, “Aw, boo, so sad, what a tragic man,” sort of thing so much as it is that... I think Ty and Tony are at their most interesting when they’re contrasting forces, and the idea of Tony (a victim of abuse who broke the cycle) becoming friends with Ty (a victim of abuse who perpetuates the cycle) at a young age, not in spite of their differences but because of them, is something I really like to think about.

We don’t actually get much of Ty’s parents in canon-- they’re kind of implied to be, like, Fine Parents. They’re contrasted with Howard Stark, who pulls the shark-eat-shark business motherfucker thing and basically causes Mr. Stone’s business to, like. Drown, or whatever. You know. The contrast there is implied, and I respect that for what it is. That being said, that’s not what interesting for me to write, and as such, I’ve chosen to tweak these little details for the sake of my more personalized (and slightly more self-indulgent) fic writing experience.

I think there’s a lot of potential in considering the differences between how they act at home as opposed to how they act with each other, too. I think Home Tony is generally apprehensive and subdued, but more uncertain and anxious than outright fearful 24/7. In IM Vol. 1, Howard was shown to be unpredictable; we got to see a lot of bad, but there were also sparkling moments wherein they seemed to be bonding as a father-son duo, and Tony would actually get to work with his father and learn from his father. I think that very well could have exacerbated the anxiety he felt, because he’s not being taught to never touch anything ever-- he’s being taught that there are very specific circumstances under which he’s able to explore as he’d like to, and those circumstances are 1) virtually impossible to accurately predict and 2) subject to change at the drop of a hat. So, Tony has been shown to be at least a little bit capable of testing the waters with what he’s allowed to do in the house and what he’s not allowed to do. That doesn’t make it any less anxiety-inducing, it just makes him a tiny, tiny bit of a more active child than one who’s constantly paralyzed.

Home Ty, to me, would be the opposite-- he is fearful 24/7, and as such, his behavior as a child is kind of... flawless, at least in the eyes of parents who think that children should be seen, not heard (and sometimes not even seen). I think both of his parents were abusive-- his father more so than his mother, but certainly both of them, if only because I think it would be yet another nice contrast between him and Tony, whose mother wasn’t perfect but certainly tried harder and felt more for Tony than Howard did. I like to think Ty was kept on a very short leash at home; boundaries were predictable, there were no “glimmering moments” he could grasp onto in order to make him feel like there was ever a chance of having normal family dynamics, and he was too afraid to really... do anything about it.

In contrast, I think Boarding School Ty was probably a lot pushier, a lot more risk-taking, and generally just... took up more space. I think he was still pretty fearful of authority and nervous about punishment, but he was well aware of the fact that this was distinctly different from being at home and that most people at school didn’t give a flying fuck about him. It likely could have been both liberating and anxiety inducing for someone so used to being around people who found it important to control him. I think he was probably pretty manipulative at this point, but I don’t think it was at the point where you would point to him and go, “Oh, what a fucked up, toxic person!”, especially since he was, like... a little fucking dude. Like, a fucking young’un. But I think the seeds were sort of planted here, and given that he had no healthy relationships to model himself after, he worked off of the assumption that in order to have control as opposed to being controlled, he needed to 1) possess things, 2) protect them aggressively, and 3) make sure his authority wasn’t threatened.

Boarding School Tony (from what little we’ve seen of him, though we can imagine he was probably similar to pre-boarding school Tony for a while, just with more Issues now) was probably the opposite-- less willing to take up space and less willing to take risks. It’s not unimaginable to assume that he might have thought his (extremely) mild exploratory tendencies might have had something to do with the abandonment, and he very well could have adjusted accordingly; if him causing trouble for people was what pushed his parents to leave him, he would very simply not cause trouble. A lot of this is nabbed from Adult Tony tendencies, wherein pretty much everyone else is prioritized over himself and he’s practically incapable of finding himself worthy of anything at all.

It’s the classic “extrovert friend-adopts an introvert” trope, except... it’s a severely damaged child feeling gutsy enough to finally, finally take up space and find something to possess and control for his own for once... friend-adopting a severely damaged child who very likely feels like the best way to proceed in relationships is to very clearly identify boundaries, figure out what it is the other person wants from him, and try to adhere to those desires as much as he’s able.

Of course, canon portrays the relationship as a “friendly rivalry” that Ty takes much more seriously than Tony does. From what we’ve seen of Tony, though, Tony doesn’t actually want to be better than anyone. In fact, he tries his best to make it seem like the opposite. He treats everyone like they’re on the same level, he tries to simplify the concepts he’s explaining so no one feels inferior to him, and, generally, he just... isn’t much of a braggart. That isn’t to say competitive/proud people can’t be kind and gentle and want to level the playing field often, but in Tony’s case, it seems that competition is best for two things: 1) having two intelligent, capable people trying to outdo each other and, in the process, creating better and better technology for the betterment of society at large, and 2) lighthearted fun.

For Ty, it very clearly wasn’t just lighthearted fun, and I think most of their childhood rivalry would have become formulaic at a point: Tony would put a good amount of effort into their competitions, but if it seemed that Ty was lagging behind too much, Tony would simply back off and let things even out. I don’t think Ty was predictably a sore loser; in fact, I think he was unpredictable, and I think a part of Tony that had only known life to be unpredictable found some level of sick comfort in that.

For Tiberius Stone specifically, I tend to read more into the unintended consequences/implications of his character based on one-off lines that... weren’t really intended to say much. The story canon gives us isn’t incohesive, exactly! It’s a pretty good story, especially if you’re not hellbent on analyzing character motivations. There’s just a lot about Ty that doesn’t seem very stable. Obviously, he’s not a stable person, given that he, uh, freaked the fuck out and tried to take over the world. But when I say Ty doesn’t seem very stable, I mean his character doesn’t seem the most stable at a second glance; we’re given conflicting accounts about his motivations, his intentions, his past, and even what he’s trying to do in the moment. And some of these inconsistences can be found in dialogue from Ty’s own mouth.

Now, if you read into it from a point of view that’s canon-adjacent as opposed to canon-compliant (i.e., assuming there’s much more of a story there than canon offers, and canon’s “case closed!” for the timeline of Ty’s life isn’t actually a closed case), you can gauge not only some level of dysregulation, but also... a level of delusion, almost. Ty seems disconnected from reality, but it’s not like there’s one single alternate timeline of events that’s cohesive in his head. It feels like his view of the world and, most importantly, himself (and this is excluding dialogue wherein he’s explicitly lying to Tony in order to manipulate him).

Most notably, we can kind of gauge fluctuations in his own views of his self worth. He engages in constant competition with Tony, he refuses to come back to America after leaving until he’s more successful than Tony, and pretty much everything he does is to prove he’s better than Tony. So, he thinks he’s better than Tony, right?

Well, not really. Because so much of his life was spent with the understanding that he wasn’t better than Tony. That was the whole reason he was gone for so long. He said he’d come back once he’d beat Tony, and... he still hadn’t beaten Tony. The beginning of the narrative leads you to assume that he thinks his big victory was being richer somehow, but it was all a set-up to bait Tony into Dreamvision. He comes across like he wants to kill Tony at first, and when that doesn’t work, he wants to... keep Tony. Like a pet, almost. But he also wants Tony to... kill him?

It’s a lot. It’s messy. It’s inconsistent. And that’s kind of what’s interesting about it. It (unintentionally, probably) suggests that Ty doesn’t have consistent motivations, which is something you do see often in people who are in survival mode in environments that don’t necessarily warrant it. It suggests a psychological wound that’s easy to poke at.

Essentially, Ty just comes across as very... hurt. Which, y’know, doesn’t justify shit and doesn’t make him any better of a person, but it provides the opportunity for some interesting narratives to sprout. Figuring out all the ways that Tony could unintentionally pick at this psychological wound of his and all the ways Ty could poorly respond is neat, I think, and I feel like these kinds of narratives tend to be very... raw, I guess, is the word I’m looking for. They just kind of hit hard, especially for those who have experienced similar situations.

It’s just something that’s terribly common in abusive relationships-- any implication that the traumatized abuser is doing something wrong can be a trigger for a borderline nervous breakdown, which makes communication practically impossible and, if the victim of the abuse feels obligated to stick around or take on the role of caretaker, turns the relationship into a cycle of insecurity and misery on all fronts. That’s not to say the abuser and the victim are suffering equally or are equally justified/valid, but it is a kind of relationship dynamic that can be incredibly cathartic to both write and read, and it’s also just... I don’t know. It just, as the kids say, hits different.

So, rewinding about four paragraphs there (whoops, this is getting long), I think most of my feelings about youth/relationship days Ty/Tony kind of center around this concept of two suffering people handling their trauma in totally opposite ways. I think it’s especially interesting to look at it from the point of view of them as younger adults (or teenagers, or children) who aren’t so set in their ways quite yet. You see these redemptive qualities and you see these children and these teenagers who are so, so ready to be helped and saved and cared for, but with the knowledge that they just... don’t get that. Not for a long time, at least.

It can feel fatalistic from a narrative standpoint, and... I mean, it kind of is. There are very few circumstances under which I could see Ty getting a redemption arc of any kind, and that’s kind of what makes a younger Ty so tragic. Everything he does is born of insecurity and anger, and everything Tony does is born of insecurity and love.

I think (for a short period of time, at least), they molded each other. Ty’s anger and competitiveness only solidified Tony’s inferiority complex and Tony’s inability to really, genuinely stand up against Ty in a way that would make any lasting meaningful changes only cemented the idea in Ty’s head that this was an acceptable way to be.

Now that that’s out of the way, here are some more simple and concise headcanons, because you asked for them and I’m sorry this became so terribly long and broke off in so many different directions:

- I think Tony and Ty bickered a lot as they got older. I don’t think Tony was totally incapable of standing up for himself, but I do think Tony probably had a tendency to call Ty out in the moment, and when Ty became too agitated and too unreasonable, Tony just left it alone and let it settle.

- I think Ty can play house extremely well. He probably remembers all of Tony’s favorite foods, favorite songs, favorite fabrics, favorite... I don’t know what other favorite things you could have, but you get my point. I don’t think he always used this information, but I think it would be incredibly important for him to know how to make someone feel loved, even if he didn’t always employ these methods (and in some cases, may have actively withheld certain kindnesses as acts of pettiness). I think it was also incredibly important for him to know Tony’s dislikes, for... obvious reasons.

- As I said before, I think Ty had a tendency to become terribly dysregulated; I think he was more than capable of both premeditated manipulation and unintentional manipulation. I think he very likely could have fallen into a spiral of thoughts that could make it pretty clear just how easily his self worth and his view of Tony’s worth fluctuated.

- Tony’s just... a stronger person than Ty. That’s a given. That’s been proven. And I think a lot of Tony’s willingness to put up with Ty would have come from this idea that he was more resilient and Ty was more fragile and volatile, so if Ty needed to take shit out on him every so often, that was fair enough.

- Another factor that may have played into Tony’s tolerance of Ty’s behavior in their youth (which, again, wasn’t nearly as awful as what Ty did as a grown ass man, given how Tony responded to Ty post-Dreamvision and how he pretty much immediately broke things off-- though, I very much enjoy the concept of Tony making some effort to make amends and Ty failing to meet him in the middle yet again) could have been the fact that it feels like Ty probably didn’t have a lot of other friends at all, especially not close friends. I think Tony would very much carry the weight of this “Maybe I’m the only person in the world who loves him” mindset. He values human life quite a bit, and I believe that even on a less intimate scale, if Tony tried to view the situation through the perspective of an outsider, he would still feel terribly, terribly saddened by the very human tragedy of being forced to take more than you can reasonably handle and becoming difficult to redeem as a result of this-- not because there’s no good left in you, but because you’re so frightened by the idea of even touching the trauma that you can’t force yourself to acknowledge you have a problem to begin with.

- I don’t think Ty feels the same comfort and warmth from physical contact that most people do, not because of anything innate (i.e. a natural preference), but because the only physical contact he received for a long, long time was, uh... Awful! That being said, I think he enjoys physical contact on the basis of being the center of attention, and he probably initiated physical contact quite a bit. I think Tony’s very big on physical contact, and Ty would very much play into Tony’s preferences here, too. Just to make himself seem like a better, more attentive boyf.

- This one is less tragic-- I think Ty and Tony get pretentious together! While I adore in-canon comparisons between Tony and the rest of high society, I also think a long-forgotten part of Tony’s character in fanon is the fact that he really does fit in with a more yacht-having crowd just as much as he fits in with your average Joes. He was raised by them and with them, after all, and his education was shaped by this. Of course he doesn’t love a lot of the culture around it, but with regards to the more harmless aspects of being a privileged kid in the environment he was in (the experiences one might have that aren’t inherently negative, that is, like having certain extracurriculars or being exposed to certain educational content), I think Ty and Tony really mesh here. Tony’s sense of humor with Ty would be totally different from his sense of humor with someone like Steve, which would also be totally different from his sense of humor with someone like Rumiko. Tony’s incredibly well-rounded, and I think he could match Ty’s Classics-loving, borderline classical theater kid tendencies very well.

- This one is 100% headcanon, based on virtually nothing other than, like, one comic panel... that isn’t even awesome evidence. It’s just a personal hc. I think Ty’s gay. Like, obviously, he’s gay for Tony, w/e. But I think Ty’s gay as in, Ty is exclusively attracted to men. The only women he ever had eyes for (or showed interest in) were the women that Tony had shown interest in/dated first, implying that there’s more of a possessive/competitive aspect than anything really... genuine. Of course, that doesn’t mean he can’t be bi, pan, or anything else (or straight, obviously, but this whole post is about him and a guy he likes to fuck, so that doesn’t really fit into the theme, here), but I prefer to write him as someone who’s only really interested in men (Tony specifically), and I prefer to write Tony as a bisexual man with a preference for women. This wasn’t really intended to be a big contrast between them; I had the headcanon for Tony already set in stone (haha), and for a long while I wrote Ty as a bi man, but recently I’ve kind of shifted things around to better accommodate my feelings about these characters.

- I love, love, love tattooed Ty. Get this man a quote in Latin on the base of his neck. Get this man some symbolic tattoos. Let this man be a poet who simultaneously wants to appear profound for appearances and wants to have these symbols on his body just because he likes them, and he likes to look at them, and they feel reflective of who he is. I have very specific Ty tattoo thoughts that I do not remember at all, but this is the gist of it.

- I think Ty handles the “normal” adventurous stuff, but he’s far more of a, uh... I don’t know, a pussy? than Tony is. Tony deals with actual threats; Ty deals with fake, stupid threats. Ty is the guy who rids the dorms of cockroaches when Tony’s too afraid to and Tony is the guy who handles home invasions.

- I think the vast majority of Ty’s abuse is emotional/psychological, not only because this is what comes most naturally to him and it’s easy for him to fall into these manipulative tendencies without necessarily thinking about it, but also because physical abuse would cross a line for him in his head that would be very difficult to ignore. I think, if you take into consideration how volatile he seems, his flip-flopping back and forth between how he feels about both himself and Tony could become more exaggerated and more severe, possibly leading to an irreversible breakdown of his psyche. I think there could very well be an, “Oh, I’ve become my father” moment if that were to happen, which is exactly why it doesn’t happen. Ty’s too wrapped up in this idea that, so long as he doesn’t cross that line, everything he does can still be justified. Which is garbage.

- Tiberius did not like Sunset Bain. Sunset Bain did not like Tiberius.

There’s a lot more that comes to mind, but this is already upwards of 30 paragraphs, and I, uh. Do not want to make this longer than it already is! So, do with that what you will.

Again, obligatory note here that this is canon-adjacent and canon-inspired, but not an analysis of canon material in the sense that I’m attempting to pick apart what the intents of the writers were. What canon provides is much more straightforward. These are headcanons, this is for funsies, and a lot of less important background details have been tweaked for the sake of the narratives that I, as a fanfic writer, would like to write and see written.

Thank you so much for the ask! This was legitimately so nice to write. I rarely ever get to spam about this, which is very likely why there’s just so much text every time I receive an ask like this, but. Again, it was very nice and I’m very grateful for you, anon.

#obligatory note here asking people to please not come into my askbox telling me about how much they hate-#- even the slightest implication that there might possibly be a single abuser out there not 100% rotten to their core #i have received. a lot of asks like this #and again as a victim of abuse whose views do not align with this it is so so so distressing to receive these #once more i am not saying anyone is wrong to believe what they believe #or to process things how they process things #but please please please don't ask me again and again to explain why exactly it is so draining for me to respond to these asks #you are valid! you deserve health and recovery and happiness and you need to do what you need to do to get that!#but please extend the same kindness to me and allow me to have my little corner of fandom wherein i also am able to find myself represented #tiberius stone #tony stark #cassks #abuse tw #abuse #child abuse tw #child abuse #long post #tyny

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infriga · 4 years

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Well yeah but that was after seeing the gross monster that particular food made he was happy at the suggestion of ordering a pizza though in together breakfast. All that mattered to him was spending time together, it seemed like he had to BEG for it in early SU. And then of course in SUF, after all the effort earlier in his life, and time spent doing nothing felt like it was undeserved and it hurt to just try and spend time with people you love. They took too long to reciprocate.

My post about the together breakfast was mainly poking fun at how people had an existencial crisis over Steven not liking things that he used to like as if it made him a completely different person. In reality out of the three things they suggested that he supposedly used to like only one of them was something he was ever actually into beyond like one episode, if at all. He was never into Pupcopter during SU, he was into Dogcopter. Pupcopter is basically the version meant for extremely young children, and would be like asking a 16 year old to watch Paw Patrol with you. And he didn't even want to eat the Together Breakfast by the end of its titular episode. It only showed up one other time during one brief scene during the wedding as a call back, vanished before the ceremony started, and was otherwise never seen again as far as I can remember. Only the cheeseburger backpack was something he liked and used that he stopped using in Future, but he'd still kept it and still used a hot dog duffle bag, so it wasn't like he hated it or didn't still use food themed bags, he just didn't want to use a bag that was 4 years old, possibly because it's actually really annoying to use a bag with too many pockets when you're using it for something important like school. So I always felt like it was a bit of an overreaction. I don't mean the jokes and stuff people made, I'm sure many of them weren't serious and were just joking around about our little boy growing up, but I remember there were plenty of people taking it way too seriously. I specifically recall one person literally stating that Steven had become a "husk of his former self" after that episode which is patently ridiculous, and I got a bit peeved about it back then. I noticed the ending of Together Breakfast during a rewatch so I thought I'd make a sassy post about it. But I do want to address something you mentioned in this ask seriously, as well as some other things related to it that are on my mind regarding Future.

Edit: I’m putting the rest of this under a cut because I didn’t realize how long this got when I wrote it on my phone. TL;DR: I believe Snow Day is more about Steven’s imposter syndrome than about the gems taking too long to reciprocate his desire to spend time with them. Below is a bunch of my thoughts about Steven’s shift from seeing gem missions as adventures and a way to hang out with the gems to seeing them as a responsibility and something he was obligated to do for the greater good whether he wanted to or not.

You're right that in the beginning he got left alone a lot and often had to beg the gems to spend time with him, and he felt as if he had to be a crystal gem and be useful in order to go on missions with them, which he thought was his only way to hang out with them as shown in An Indirect Kiss. But later on things changed in that department. The gems did start spending more time with him outside of missions, the problem was that his desire to be useful and help with missions morphed into something else. Take The Test as an example. In the beginning of the episode the gems are playing a board game with Steven, spending time with him and having fun with something that wasn't related to missions. But then their time hanging out together is interrupted when Steven finds the statue from the moon spire and expresses guilt over leaving it behind, leading to the revelation that it was a test he failed. In a way that scene is the perfect analogy for the change in his views regarding missions, because that episode is when Steven's treatment of missions shifts from cool adventures to an obligation, and it's also when his priorities shift from himself and what he wants, to others and what they need. It stops being about his desires of being included, and starts being about putting his own problems aside to help others, and about him wanting to live up to the expectations others have of him. He was expected to pass an easy test and he failed, and because of that the spire was destroyed. The gems didn't know how to handle him, so he ignored his own hurt and feelings of inadequacy to make them feel better and boost their confidence. And from that point on, he mostly acted based on the greater good, and on not falling short of what others expected of him because he was afraid of the potentially destructive consequences of failure. You can really see the difference between how Steven saw missions during Cheeseburger backpack and how he saw them later on after the test when you go back to rewatch that episode. In Cheeseburger Backpack he saw it as a chance to do something fun and cool with the gems, to be a member of their exclusive group, which is a view he still has by An Indirect Kiss, though he's already started to see it as him having to live up to his mother's legacy, at that point he just sees that as his method of being able to hang out with them by being useful. After The Test he takes things much more seriously as a duty that he's obligated to do for the sake of the earth, and as something he sees as a responsibility. You can especially see this in Marble Madness just 6 episodes later, where Connie treats the events occurring as something cool and adventurous, while Steven treats it as an important issue that they've been dealing with, one that by the third interruption he's clearly not happy about. Sure, you could argue that it's because of what happens between those episodes causing him to take things more seriously, like Mirror/Ocean Gem or Warp Tour, but The Test has been noted by Rebecca and others as a turning point for Steven for a reason. Now I’m not saying Steven didn’t want to help people for the sake of helping people, he did because he’s a good kid who’s empathetic and kind, but he also clearly grew to view the missions and gem drama as more important than how he felt, even when they were something he didn’t want to do or resulted in him getting hurt and upset. He ended up thinking that helping people was more important than what he wanted or needed, and that came to a head in Future when his problems came back to bite him all at once and he couldn’t dismiss them anymore. The problem wasn’t that he wanted to help people, the problem was that he pushed his own needs aside to do it at any cost.

So I don't think the issue in Snow Day was that their reciprocation was too late, because they'd reciprocated before that point. I think the problem was that the way they reciprocated played into his feelings of inadequacy and his fear of falling short of the expectations of others. He grew up feeling like he couldn't live up to his mother's legacy, and even after he managed to break free of that he started feeling like he couldn't live up to his own legacy. He thought people didn't see him for who he really is now, and we learn in Everything's Fine that on top of his ptsd he has a really bad case of imposter syndrome. So when the gems want to spend time with him and they base it on the person he used to be years ago, it just further plays in to the idea that they haven't been paying attention to he is now, that he's still being seen as the 14 year old who saved the galaxy, and that's who they want him to be again. It would feel very isolating and alienating for the parents who say they miss you to act like they miss who you used to be rather than who you are currently.

That said, it was good that by the end of the episode he told them how he felt and they adjusted their behaviour. personally I do still think that episode had a happy ending all things considered, and I don't think it contributed much if at all to his issues down the line, it just wasn't enough to prevent them. I think it served more as a hint to some of his insecurities regarding how he felt like a fraud because he thought everyone saw him as something he wasn't.

I find it interesting how some people reacted to that episode and to Steven during Future in general. We the audience should know that he is a good person and not a monster, and that his mistakes don't define him, and that he should be allowed to change without being held up to an impossible standard, because that's what the show has always championed: the ability to grow. Yet a vocal section of the audience reacted in a way that bought into the kind of insecurities Steven had cultivated. They reacted as if a few minor changes were the end of the world, and that because he wasn't exactly the same kind of person he was in SU that meant he was somehow a worse person, a "husk of his former self" so to speak, even though he was still a kind person who wanted to help people. He wasn't refusing to hang out with the gems because he had become asocial and hated them, or because he was an edgy teenager, it was because their attempts at spending time with him were done in a way that made him unhappy. Once they adapted to something more comfortable for him he was perfectly happy to hang out and have fun with them.

The biggest difference between Steven then and now was that Steven issues had built up to a point where they couldn't be pushed aside or ignored anymore. The way he'd helped people in the past had proven to be unhealthy in the long run due to the fact that he always minimized his own needs and desires over those of others. So a chunk of the fandom had done exactly what Steven accused everyone of doing in Everything's Fine: they expected him to be the same kid from before who was perfect, mature, and always knew what to do. They thought of him as an angel who only helped people. In that episode he says "I'm not that kid anymore" but the thing is, he was never that kid. Much of that so-called maturity and decisiveness and perfection was actually just a traumatized child trying to live up to impossible expectations while utilizing unhealthy coping methods to push his own feelings aside in order to help others and save the world.

When Growing Pains aired, a lot of those people went suspiciously silent. No more people calling him edgy, no more people saying he was turning into White Diamond, no more people saying he was making the same mistakes as his mom, no more people accusing him of having developed an ego, and no more people saying Steven was going to be the "villain" of Future. Or at least there were way less people saying those things. That's why I think that episode was so important. It blatantly stated "this is the behaviour of a traumatized 16 year old who has experienced multiple traumatic childhood events. Trauma shapes our behaviours and our physical reactions and has a long lasting or even permanent effect on our body and mind." it made everyone take a long hard look at what Steven had been through through without the rose-tinted lenses of nostalgia. Obviously there were still some people with bad takes calling Steven an asshole, but there were way less of them than there were before the episode slapped us in the face with the reality that the show was taking this seriously and always had been. And I hope it caused a lot of people to take that same hard look at stuff in real life, so they could be aware of the effects of trauma on others instead of harshly judging trauma survivors for not being perfect and having difficulties and struggling, so that they can hopefully stop demonizing the less convenient and less pretty symptoms of trauma as character flaws that make someone evil, and so they can hopefully see things in less black and white or good and evil like the internet is prone to do. And maybe some people can even see those same issues in themselves and feel encouraged to actually seek help, and maybe they can feel like they're seen and heard even if it's just by a cartoon about dancing singing lesbian space rocks.

Sorry this got so long, I have a lot of thoughts about this and I wanted to just get them out there.

#Steven Universe #Steven Universe Future #Meta #Long post #Repy #anonymous

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crossdressingdeath · 4 years

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(1/3) It always amuses me how stans try to justify JC actions by his abusive upbringing while there were 3 children in that family and both others turned very kind and/or very moral and not at all like JC (and frankly, he didn't even have the hardest position in the dysfunctional dynamic). Or LXC and LWJ whose upbringing was even more screwed up with a LQ who was certainly playing favorites and wanting perfection, and yet this never draw a wedge between them or created any jealousy.

(2/3)LXC loves for LWJ to excel! Same with "but JC had it so hard rebuilding Lotus Pier, WWX was goofing off with the Wens"...JC was paying people to do that for him, yes, while WWX was trying to start from scratch a settlement over a mountain of corpses with a bunch of weak or old people and not to die of hunger comes winter. While separated from all his friends and hated as a monster by the cultivation world. "But JC was so lonely during the 13/16y, so that justifies him lashing out" And WWX

(3/3) was dead, killed by his brother and thinking that there was not a person left on his side in the end, and yet, that didn't make him act like a dick? Or athg else really, because everything that JC went through in the past, WWX did also, but in a worse way because he lost his parents young, lived in the streets, didn't have JC societal privilege or money and has to harness an unstable necromancy practice on top of that. And yet no one uses it as arguments to explain his actions, only for JC

Honestly? While none of the Jiang kids were in a good position, out of the three of them... JC did have it the easiest. It was still awful for him, don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting his childhood didn’t suck, but given it was made very clear to JYL that her only purpose was to be married off to JZX so her mother could tie her bloodline to her best friend’s and WWX was treated like a servant at best... Yeah. If I had to pick, I’d choose having a distant father and dealing with a mother who’s constantly emotionally abusive over having a distant father and dealing with a mother who’s constantly emotionally abusive and being treated like a bargaining chip/treated like a servant and/or bastard and being whipped for actions that would get the rest of the clan a lecture at worst. Again, I’m not saying JC didn’t have it bad, but his siblings having it worse is... interesting, given neither of them decided to be dicks to Literally Everyone over it.

I do have to say, even though this is about JC, there’s nothing suggesting LQR was playing favourites with LXC and LWJ. He was strict, yes, probably stricter than he should’ve been, and LXC probably did get more one-on-one interaction with him, but given LXC was going to be sect leader/became sect leader at a young age that makes sense. This is not super important to the point of this post, but I do find it odd how often people make LQR out to be this horrible person who’s always awful to his nephews because he’s Strict when we... don’t actually know anything about how he raised them. I don’t like him all that much, and he probably didn’t do a fantastic job of raising them, but the man did try, and he clearly wants his nephews to be safe and happy (even though he has inaccurate views of what that entails...), and given how the parents/parental figures of the cast generally act he deserves some credit for that. Also the Twin Jades ended up considerably better-adjusted than most of their age group, which... isn’t saying much all things considered but it does say something. If nothing else neither of them seem to feel actively unsafe around him, so he’s definitely not the worst parental figure in this novel.

...I had a surprising number of thoughts on LQR there. Whoops, sorry about the tangent. Maybe I’ll make a post about him at some point. Anyway, yeah, LXC and LWJ clearly adore each other! LXC would be delighted if LWJ surpassed him at something! Same with Nie bros; they argue a lot, but there’s no denying that they love each other. That’s what insults and threats out of love look like; NMJ threatens NHS all the time, but NHS clearly isn’t all that bothered by it until JGY starts fucking with NMJ’s mind and the threats become more serious, which really isn’t NMJ’s fault. It’s because in the other sibling relationships both parties are invested in staying close. They love each other and want to be close for the rest of their lives! Meanwhile JC is obsessed with WWX outperforming him at Literally Everything, and WWX genuinely believes that JC is allowed to treat him the way he does and it’s fine and healthy.

And yeah, JC wasn’t exactly rebuilding Lotus Pier all by his lonesome with his own two hands. In fact, going by what we see all the rebuilding was done well before WWX left! And I don’t doubt for a second that WWX was involved in that process; I have very mixed feelings about the scene in CQL where he blows off his duties to go and get drunk, because on the one hand it does do a good job of showing just how bad his mental state is getting (and how JC refuses to acknowledge it despite WWX obviously being Not Okay), but on the other hand... I just can’t see WWX not throwing himself into helping JC with everything he’s got even while his mental state is coming crashing down around him. I mean, this is the guy who created an incredibly powerful weapon that even he couldn’t fully control, not knowing what using it would do to him, to help his brother win a war. I’m pretty much certain that WWX ran himself into the ground helping JC rebuild and run the sect... then when he found himself in charge of a small group of desperate people, scrambling to keep them fed and clothed and healthy, JC just abandoned him to deal with it on his own.

And the whole “Oh, but JC was so lonely, don’t you feel bad for him?” shtick. I hate it so much. If he didn’t want to be lonely, he should’ve considered that before alienating everyone in his age group and leading an army to murder his brother, the only person left who was willing to put up with him! It’s... really hard to feel bad for someone who’s brought most of their suffering on themselves through a series of generally shitty and frequently downright cruel actions with easily foreseeable consequences. If he got sick of being alone, he should’ve apologized to his peers for being a dick to... literally all of them and tried to make amends and strike up some sort of relationship. Or, if that didn’t work, go out! Meet new people! Try not to be as awful to them! Also, he’s a sect leader. If he couldn’t even maintain a positive relationship with other sect leaders, people who, let me remind you, he has to work with on a regular basis and several of whom are actually nice and friendly people, that is on him. If you are awful to people you will end up alone. And then JC decided to respond to learning that the people he was a dick to every time he saw them (and, in LWJ and NHS’s cases, caused the death of someone they cared about) wanted nothing to do with him... by whining about how lonely he was as if that wasn’t largely his fault. Like, he lost his family and that’s awful, but he could have had friends to help him through his grief, and it’s his own damn fault that he doesn’t.

WWX’s life was miserable. He had plenty of friends, yeah, but he spent years on the streets after his parents died brutal deaths; was raised in a family where he was treated like a servant and a scapegoat; lost everything in an event he was blamed for despite having nothing to do with the attack; had to sacrifice his incredibly powerful golden core (thereby losing his primary means of defending himself while on the run and drastically shortening his lifespan) to keep his brother from letting himself die; was thrown into a corpse pit for three months where he had to create an entirely new and experimental (and as such incredibly dangerous) form of cultivation and probably resort to cannibalism just to survive; had to fight a war almost immediately after escaping; spent a... good portion of time (not sure how long exactly because the MDZS timeline is more a suggestion than an actual coherent timeline) being treated alternately as a tame pet or a rabid animal and having to pretend everything was just fine while everyone tried to either control him or remove him and his brother very obviously got increasingly resentful of his skill and power; had to abandon his home, his family, and everything he had left of his old life to save a bunch of innocent people while everyone, including his brother, acted like he’d gone mad for not wanting to let them die horribly; had to go back to the corpse pit he spent three months in because it was the only place where they might be safe; accidentally killed his brother-in-law due to losing control after being ambushed on the way to a celebration for his nephew that he was invited to by people he trusted, almost certainly making him wonder on at least some level if that was why he was invited; lost two members of his new family who he clearly loved because of said accidental murdering; learned their deaths were for nothing and, when he retaliated against the planned attack that shouldn’t have happened because that’s what WQ and WN gave their lives to prevent, saw his beloved sister die to save him; and, after all that, lost the rest of his new family to a siege on a civilian population led by his brother. And after all that, his response was... to destroy the incredibly dangerous weapon he’d made because he didn’t trust the sects to not destroy each other and themselves with it and kill himself rather than risk losing control again and hurting anyone else. In the novel too; I don’t doubt for a second that WWX planned on dying in that siege, even if he didn’t expect destroying the seal to do it.

Take a look at that paragraph. All those things that happened to WWX. And in the end, he was kind. He was so, so kind, and remains kind even after thirteen years of being dead. He would have been well within his rights to go all “Then let me be evil” on the sects, but every time he attacked them they struck first, and most of the serious damage he did happened as a direct result of losing control of his experimental and mostly unknown new cultivation, which is a real risk even with spiritual cultivation; NMJ probably would have happily killed everyone in Qinghe if the qi deviation hadn’t gotten to him first, given how easy it was for him to attack even his beloved little brother. Everything bad that happened to JC is on that list, pretty much. Everything that JC suffered WWX did too, with some variations in the details (and of course dead versus alone for the same period of time). JC had the advantage of a sect at his back and a high rank by virtue of his birth, while WWX’s position was entirely reliant on JFM and, later, JC. And yet some people insist that WWX’s trauma doesn’t excuse his actions but JC’s somehow does. Now, some people argue it’s different because WWX was a mass murderer. Yeah, well, JC’s a fucking serial killer, and he doesn’t have the excuse of losing control due to using resentful energy to cultivate and being attacked by everyone he’d ever known and trusted.

...I’ve kind of lost track of where I’m going with this. Short version: I very strongly disagree with anyone who insists WWX’s trauma doesn’t excuse his actions while bending over backwards to argue that JC’s trauma excuses his.

#well that got... long #and probably not super fun #i have Thoughts about this particular subject it seems #grapehate #asks #anon

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amwritingmeta · 4 years

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15x05: How to Fight God

Proverbs 17:3 --> The crucible for silver, the furnace for gold, but the Lord tests the heart.

This proverb really gets to me when looking at it in the light of 15x05, but also when looking at how it relates itself to the series as a whole, because our boys are going through nothing short of a trial by fire, their whole world and sense of self is beginning to take flame and that sounds poetic af, but it’s also so fucking poignant that I can’t even.

Because isn’t this what their whole journey has been? And what it’s been about, too, meaning that the trial by fire serves an actual purpose, the get rid of the impurities (if you will) while the actual trial isn’t by fire, but lies truly in the aftermath, in the lessons and the learning curve: the heart stuff.

That aside, of course, applied to 15x05 it’s quite literally God testing their hearts - and what they’re really made of - by throwing them a proper curve ball in Lilith, not to mention this revealing the fact that he’s still a presence.

We open on Sam, who’s checking his phone to see if Cas has finally replied to all the concerned texts Sam has sent him (my heart leaped I loved it so much!) (of course Sam wouldn’t not reach out) (and amazing that Cas literally decided then and there to walk out the door and he just removed himself entirely) (also - poor Sam!) (he lost a friend!!) and Cas hasn’t gotten back to him.

Buuuut!

Cut to the end of the episode and Sam is just hanging up from having an actual conversation with Cas. Sorry, this was me remembering this entirely wrong and not double-checking - it went straight to voicemail and is clearly stated as doing so, pls, ignore my ignorance!

There’s still a nice, subtle bookend here, and it still underscores the change we get from the opening scene to the closing: the brothers both believing they’re back to business as usual (with the difference of how now they’re actually holding the reins) vs. realising God isn’t gone and that the status quo is not something they can fall back on here.

Speaking of the status quo, the way things have always been, the saving people, hunting things, family business side to the brothers’ lives that is, as far as they’re concerned, the cornerstone of their identities... yeah, let’s speak of that for a bit, because if we look at the episode I believe the status quo, or perhaps the repeat patterns, is/are actually the answer to the question Dean finishes the episode with:

How do we fight God?

So then.

How To Fight God

This is basically speculation based in my meta reading of the episode so pinches of salt, loves, but it’s intriguing to me to think about what the rules of this world actually are, because this is GOD the CREATOR, right? Yeah.

How can you, the puppet, defeat your puppet master when your puppet master determines which of your strings are pulled at any given moment?

Well, firstly, I’m stuck on the exchange between Dean and Cas from 15x02:

Cas: You don’t think I’m angry? After what Chuck did? After what he took from me? He killed Jack. But that doesn’t mean it was all a lie. [...] Even if we didn’t know that all of the challenges that we face were born of Chuck’s machinations, how would we describe it all? We’d call it life, because that’s precisely what life is. It’s an obstacle course. And maybe Chuck designed the obstacles, but we ran our own race, we made our own moves, and mostly we did well with that. Dean: Did we? I’ll tell you what we do know - nothing about our lives is real. Everything that we’ve lost, everything that we are, is because of Chuck. So maybe you can stick your head back in the sand, maybe you can pretend that we actually had a choice... I can’t. Cas: Dean. You asked what about all this is real -- we are.

I mean technically Dean didn’t ask anything, he stated that nothing about their lives is real but alright I get that you want to break through, Cas, because this is Cas trying to make Dean understand that not everything has been pre-determined by Chuck.

If free will didn’t exist at all in the narrative, then there would be no room for any kind of stakes, emotional or otherwise.

If it didn’t come down to what choices each situation brought about and the lessons derived from the consequences of those choices, then the meaning of the character journeys would be completely nullified.

And these rules of the world we’re watching are most clearly demonstrated to us in the S14 season finale, when Dean makes that epic choice of not shooting Jack, effectively ripping up Chuck’s perfect ending and forcing him to go all mental deity on a power trip on all of their asses.

So Cas is clearly right in the above exchange, but Dean can’t hear it, and because Dean just refuses to listen, Cas sees no other choice but to leave in 15x03. Because all Cas can see is how Dean refuses to let go of old patterns of thinking, old hang ups and fears, and how Dean finds refuge in blaming an external source rather than gaining perspective, accepting his own level of responsibility (in any situation) and moving forward.

I’m very curious about the prayer and what level of exposition it will entail. Imagine it being an actual callback to the confession scene in S11, where the exposition of Dean’s internal struggles with his longing for more is so beautifully balanced. Anyway, digression.

What I’m getting at is that choices seem to play an enormous part here, and of course they should, because that’s one of the most prominent thematic threads the writers can pull on.

Our choices make us who we are.

It’s not what you are, but what you do.

No one can tell you who you are, you choose who to be.

And along these, all the times we’ve heard I didn’t have a choice. Often this has been true, when put in a situation that is about not only saving each other, but the world itself as well, but then those world-saving situations wouldn’t really have been brought about if Dean, that first time Sam died, hadn’t made the choice (echoing Mary) to sell his soul to save him, and, of course, none of the choices would’ve been necessary if Mary had let John die, but we know the world that would’ve brought about, so thank...... fate for bad choices.

Perhaps it’s time for good ones.

How do you fight God?

I think you fight him by breaking old patterns, and the only way you can break them is by recognising them for what they are and truly, definitively, moving out of them and into new ones.

Chuck represents the writer not keeping up with their own character’s progression, right? He’s not seeing what this world he’s created has actually become, without his influence. All he sees is what he wants it to be, rather than all that it is, and he believes in his own control to the extent of not adjusting the obstacles he’s throwing at the boys to their ever evolving view of themselves and what they want for themselves.

Which is why the plot point of Dean being seduced by Lilith wasn’t even hinted at until she stated, in dialogue, that apparently it wasn’t happening. Thanks to Dean’s progression away from who he was way back when, yeah? Not exactly the same, are you, Dean?

And which is why I believe the moment when Sam says-->

--> is quite possibly crucial, because Sam can see the pattern, he knows the grooves of it so well that he immediately feels something is off when they’re just handed the solution on a platter, and this hunch proves right, because they know how Chuck’s story works, innately, they’ve lived it for over a decade.

If they can catch up with this fact, if they can begin to use it to their advantage, that would be very cool. If they begin to go against their old mode of being, if they try to think outside of their own box (as it were), then not only is that a viable way of beating Chuck at his own game, it sets the stage for their final leg of character progression rather beautifully.

Because it forces them to grow wholly self-aware, to question their choices and weigh the pros and cons. Realisation City.

And how gorgeous then to have the setup be that to survive and have a healthy sense of control over their own lives, they must evolve away from their old ideas and ideals. *fingers crossed*

And then there’s Chuck as representative of the over-arching shadow, representative of all those things that the boys have battled throughout their journey, and if integration is the goal, then Chuck shouldn’t really be reaped by Billie, should he? I mean, him being reaped by a representative of strong, assertive femininity works on a symbolic level as well, but integration could mean that he simply has his power stripped.

I’d quite like that, to be honest. The way to fight God is to stop worshipping him, stop believing in what he represents, stop allowing his obstacles to be real obstacles and simply move out of the narrative he’s been telling and into a new one, where his chosen ending makes absolutely no sense. And if Jack returns there may be a player with enough power to actually tell God that his time as ruler of this particular universe is done, because they will fight him, now that they see him for what he truly is. Every step of the way.

Alright, lots of speculation here, but the thought of the brothers’ progression actually playing a role in how they can defeat Chuck makes me get all goosebump-y!

The werewolf brothers acted as a Chuck tool of foreshadowing for his chosen ending: one brother killing the other, but there’s a deeper psychological symbology in the werewolf brothers’ story, where one brother’s control and deceit made the other see no other choice but to kill him and then himself, because they were the same.

So looking at them as representative of the codependency, it’s actually the aspect of control and self-deceit that has to die, in both Sam and Dean, for the codependency to finally break. Sam leading the way (as per the water bottle scene at the start of the episode) and freeing them both in his process of breaking away from Dean.

And when Lilith says that she had to die in order to get what she wanted, it could be seen as a statement of that same symbolic subtext, and how the brothers’ progression is moving them away from who they have always been, into who they truly are and want to be: they have to kill off their past ideas and ideals, and embrace the truth of this if they’re going to be victorious in this fight.

We shall see, my loves! We shall see!

I’d be remiss if I didn’t say this, though, to a writer who has given us so much:

Thank you, Steve Yockey.

For everything.

#<3 #spn meta #spn 15x05 #character progression #dean winchester #sam winchester #codependency #breaking the codependency #symbology #chuck #how to fight god

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threewaysdivided · 4 years

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I appreciate the response. Yeah, among other adjustments, had the plot been handled a little differently, I feel like Sam’s relationship with her parents could have evolved into something like that of Danny and Jazz and their parents. And don’t get me wrong; I still like Sam, too.

(In reference to this post and follow-up ask.)

Good to hear from you again 😊

I think there were a lot of things across the board that could have been tweaked or edited to improve the integrity of the series. If I had to boil down the problem with DP to a single point I’d probably say it’s that the most interesting parts of the show are the characters/world/implications but the writers (or some of them anyway - I suspect there might have been some conflict between Hartman, the lead writers and the execs’) wanted certain plots, aesops and gags, and chose to brute-force them in regardless of whether they actually worked with what was already there. Basically, it lacks consistency and internal logic.

For Sam in particular I think there are a few things that could have been handled better:

First one’s more a general complaint at the show and might light a fire under my notes but heck lets go there anyway but the writing has kind of a sexist bent that really doesn’t fit the characters or need to be there. Considering how much Danny and Jack are shown to love and respect Maddie and Jazz there’s no way they’d call their involvement in Genius Magazine “the swimsuit edition”. Paulina might be traditionally feminine but “She surrendered her individuality for a boy! I’m so proud of her!” is not a line that any human girl in the history of human girls would say unironically. There’s also a few too many jokes that basically boil down to “male character is emasculated/ vulnerable/ likes feminine-coded things, hyuk hyuk hyuk”.

I’m bringing this up not just because they’re gross cheap gags but because for Sam specifically, this pervasive low-key contempt for women and femininity in the writing, especially the tendency to portray almost every non-sympathetic girl her age as one-note, brainless boy-crazy cliches that she can’t connect with, really does not help her character. I would have loved to see more genuine interaction between Sam and the other girls, even if it most of it was Kim Possible-Bonnie Rockwaller style antagonistic rapport. We could have seen her develop some kind of tenuous connection with one of the A-listers, or even just have a secondary-female-character to be cordial towards - kind of like Mikey is for Danny and Tucker. Hold up, outside of Valerie, Star and Paulina are there any named secondary girls at Casper High? Sam doesn’t seem to have a single female friend in the show and considering how vocally judgemental she is, it can almost read like she’s rejecting them outright for being girls, which really undercuts attempts to make her seem feminist. (I mentioned it in a past tag but this feels like an early-2000s-male-writer mistake of equating Female Empowerment™ with the ability to tear down other women and belittle traditional femininity - which isn’t so much Feminism as it is Internalised Misogyny.) Even just mixing up the pairings to put her with Star instead of Kwan in Lucky in Love would have helped.

I’d have also liked to see more awareness of and consistency in the conflict between her activism and her wealth. It kind of undercuts the significance of her activism when you realise that she’s wealthy enough to make these choices with little cost to herself; it’s much easier to go vegan or buy renewable/ recyclable /sustainable /fair-trade when price isn’t an issue, especially if you also have serving staff to offset the time cost. Once you notice this it makes her activism feel more tokenistic, and also like she doesn’t really understand her own privilege when she tries to push her agendas onto the school/ her classmates without considering why they mightn’t be able to do so as easily. It’s also weird because the source of her family’s wealth is a cellophane-toothpick-wrapper (i.e. something that basically produces litter) but she still seems very comfortable enjoying the material benefits despite her pro-eco anti-consumerism sentiments. It’s bizarre that she’s more concerned with the social consequence of ‘fake friends’ than the ethics of capitalism. It can come off a bit “do as I say, not as I do”.

It would have been nice for the show to give more screen time to reinforcing that Sam is aware of that conflict and is making an active effort to hold to her principles even at the cost of personal comfort; maybe showing some unease at the source of her wealth, trying to live below her means and only spend up on ethical/ eco-friendly/ sustainable products, op-shopping or hand-making her goth accessories, going out of her way to re-use or re-purpose things even if buying a new one would be ‘better’, actually showing or referencing her doing substantial hands-on activities (e.g. going off-screen or taking the boys to do tree-planting, litter pickups, soup kitchens, animal-shelter work etc). Just something to help make it clearer that she genuinely cares and isn’t just doing the low-mess lip-service activities because she enjoys indulging in the image of Wokeness™.

These things would have helped regardless of how her family was written but let’s hop back on topic and talk about them. I don’t have any prescriptive preference but let’s spitball a few different options and how they could have played:

#1 Sam’s parents don’t respect her interests and want her to fit a mold

In this case I’d make it that they don’t really pay attention or show much caring for who Sam really is as a person; their image of and interactions with her are more of a fantasised version of the ‘perfect’ daughter they want, they make very little effort to encourage her actual interests and are perhaps restrictive about what they let her do in the few moments when they do bother paying close attention (you might compare to some versions of Tim Drake’s Parents from DC Comics). Classist, overly image-conscious, snobby and superficial.

This would be the most sympathetic portrayal of her character without changing it very far from how it is in DP canon - helping contextualise why Sam is so fiercely defensive of her autonomy, why she pushes so hard when trying to get her opinions across and why she’s so judgemental of rich people and disdainful towards classic femininity - even possibly explaining her more hypocritical/ manipulative/ entitled traits as learned behaviours. It would also give her more legitimate reason to be less empathetic towards others - after all even if they have struggles and family troubles it’s still better than what she’s dealing with (Danny’s parents may not be attentive but hey, at least they love him for himself, right?)

For this version I’d probably put her arc around growing past the “suffering olympics” model of viewing other people’s pain, but also in her finding family in Danny/Tucker/her Grandmother’s circle of connections, learning how to have healthy power-balance and communication in her relationships with others (aka: getting over her hypocrisy and realising that assertiveness is about communicating that “I matter, and so do you”) and pulling away from her parents’ influence - maybe even living with Ida a lot of the time.

#2 Sam’s parents are well-intentioned but overbearing

For this one, Sam’s parents would genuinely want the best for her… only they have an overly old-fashioned and restrictive view of what “the best” is and are a bit set-in-their-ways. They’d probably view “hippies” and “goth” stuff as “dangerously rebellious hooligan-activities” and likely to be somewhat patronising about Sam’s passion for it being “just a phase”. They’d be worried about her hanging around “the Fenton Kid” and “the Foley Kid” both because Danny’s parents are kind of irresponsible screwballs about safety but also because they put a lot of value in image due to their belief in social connections being the way to get ahead. Them pushing Sam towards classic femininity and specific activities would be less about disrespecting her identity and more about their overly narrow view of “success” and worrying that she’s going to end up losing valuable opportunities and “wasting her life” if she keeps on down her current path.

This would still give Sam more sympathetic context for her views on femininity and pushiness about self-expression.

Personally I think the arc I’d like to see here is one themed around responsible/considerate assertiveness and valuing alternative perspectives. Sam coming to realise her own hypocrisy - that she can’t push her views onto others while complaining about her parents doing the same - developing more sympathy for Danny as she realises that he’s in a similar position with Jack’s insistence that he’ll inherent Fentonworks and his parents’ narrow-mindedness about ghosts, interacting with other girls and seeing their perspective, learning how to assert her opinion while making allowances for others’ (maybe an alternative version where she connects with Star in Lucky in Love and, after Aragon’s defeat in Beauty Marked, Sam still says she personally thinks it’s dumb but then steps down and lets Star win because she understands that Star values it), and getting her Grandma’s help in convincing her parents to widen their perspective while still responding to their concerns.

(This one has the overall kindest message and I think I like it best).

#3 Sam’s parents are trying and Sam’s actually the problem

This one is the one that’s the least sympathetic to Sam. Her parents still don’t get the Goth/Activist thing and they have some concerns about safety but they understand that it makes her happy and they’re okay with it so long as she’s not getting into trouble or mixing up with anyone that could hurt her. Them pushing her towards more feminine/optimistic things is less pushing and more trying to encourage some hobbies that offer a bit more common ground. They might have reservations, and they might not always have time, but they would like to be part of their daughter’s life… except for the problem that Sam has wrapped herself up in a teen-drama persecution complex and got it into her head that they “won’t accept her” are “pushing her to be someone else” and “don’t understand” so there’s no point even trying to explain or connect. In this one Ida isn’t taking sides on purpose but she ends up accidentally enabling Sam a little because Sam reminds her of her younger days and she likes spoiling her granddaughter (and doesn’t much care for her daughter-in-law).

In this case Sam’s flaws would be framed much more as flaws born of her making superficial snap judgements, thinking she knows better and being too proud to admit she’s wrong. There would definitely be moments of her coming across as an entitled, privileged holier-than-thou brat who invents problems because she likes feeling sorry for herself, especially early in her arc.

This version of the story would go the hardest on Sam with the general lesson being “you need to respect that other people are people who have their own problems, feelings and needs that are as real and valid as yours”. She’d still have good qualities and Danny and Tucker would still obviously like and value her but there’d also be times of strain where they don’t want to hurt her feelings but are clearly getting worn out with the nonsense. At its worst, maybe a “you’re like mustard. Great in small quantities, but a lot of you is…a lot” type confrontation.

I’d also give the secondary cast the most fleshing out, agency and sympathetic-ness here, and have beats where Sam has to realise that they’re lot more complex than her 2D stereotyped view of them and are dealing with actual serious problems to which hers are largely non-issues by comparison. I’d probably play Dash and Paulina similar to in the fic Alibi (go read it, it’s good) - Dash being gay and performing aggression because toxic masculinity, insecurity, and being terrified of anyone outside the A-listers finding out (still not okay that he’s a bully but at least more understandable), while Paulina is hiding high emotional perceptiveness behind her pretty face and deliberately bearding for him to keep bigoted parents/ teachers off his back. I’d also probably have a subplot in an alternate Life Lessons where Sam follows Valerie around because jealous/possessive and, like Danny, ends up realising that she’s working two jobs to help her Dad with their financial problems. Basically she’d be getting hit with the Reality Stick a lot.

There’d also be more instances of Sam getting directly called out by the other girls. Fleshing them out as people and showing that their dislike is less superficiality and more because she unfairly judges and antagonises them all the time. Giving them more agency in Beauty Marked and have them be direct about “we know you’re just here to be smug about how much ‘Better’ you are but have you considered that we’re doing this for ourselves and actually enjoy it?”. Having Paulina be less “tee hee I am indeed a Witch” in Parental Bonding and more “Ugh fine, fine, I don’t really like him that much but you were being so obviously Jealous and Judge-y and I figured if I played a little you might actually step up. But fine, if you’re sure. Here’s your necklace back, I’ll let your dorky ‘friend’ down tomorrow. But pro-tip? You like someone you gotta go for it - otherwise don’t complain when your boy-toy gets taken by someone who actually means it.” (Still petty, but emotionally intelligent pettiness, which… not really much better, but at least more interesting.) A lot more of Sam realising that she’s not a particularly good feminist and that she’s no more entitled to Danny’s affections than anyone else.

To be honest, while I could say the most about this version and there’s a lot of potential drama there it’s the one I like the least because it means canonising my least favourite proto-abusive bad-faith narcissistic reading of Sam, casting her as an almost-villain and essentially punishing her over and over until she character develops into a decent human being. Sure it’s an important message about how you treat others but it’s not a very nice or kind story and while there might be the odd fic that makes it cathartic I can’t say I’m a huge fan.

Again, if I had to pick, I’d probably go with something like #2.

But there we go. Another thrilling instalment in the “overly long posts about Sam Manson” saga.

Hope you enjoyed it and thanks for stopping by!

#Danny Phantom #Sam Manson #Character Analysis #Storytelling suggestions #the mustard quote is from John Green's Turtles All The Way Down BTW (haven't read but heard it and thought it was a good turn of phrase)#there was so much potential in this show #they were really not good at writing girls in particular #cw: mentions of abuse #cw: sexism discussed #anonymous #3WD Answers

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