#love letter to the past

[mantimae]

I wanna take a sec to talk about Lucky Penny.

If you haven’t been lucky enough to have heard of Lucky Penny before now: it is my favorite graphic novel. It has been since junior year of High-school. I am now a senior in my final semester in college (and accounting for my Covid style gap year) Lucky Penny has been my #1 fave graphic novel for six years and counting.

It’s funny, it’s raunchy, the characters feel real, the story is well paced and takes some very fun and unexpected twists! However, the story and art aren’t the only reason I love Lucky Penny. I originally found Yuko Ota and Ananth Hirsh via their autobiographical book of daily life comics Johnny Wander: Our Cats Are More Famous Than Us, which I had picked up from the local library and was absolutely thrilled to find out was a webcomic that at the time was still actively updating. On their website (linked here!) you can actually read Lucky Penny and their Autobiographical comics completely for free as well as their current (still updating) work, Barbarous.

For me Lucky Penny acts as a bridge and a love letter to middle school me, who avidly read webcomics on solo hosting sights, many of which have been lost to time or have simply stopped updating. Self published webcomics outside of companies like Tapas (formerly Tapastic) and LINE Webtoon have ensured that solo host websites are far and few in between and routinely get looked over. Despite existing in the face of these big companies Johnny Wander lives on.

Lucky Penny is like warm soup. It’s comforting and every read feels different depending on where I am emotionally and just in my life in general. You can find Lucky Penny free to read on Johnny Wander here and even grab a physical copy for yourself here if you prefer paper. Updates on Yuko Ota and Ananth Hirsh’s current work and activities can be found on their respective tumblrs @aidosaur and @ananthhirsh

If you choose to read Lucky Penny I hope you love it. I’m sure you will. :)

#Lucky penny book #Johnny Wander #barbarous #webcomic #early internet #love letter to the past #and a hopeful look to the future #fan art #digital art #procreate #comics #comic #book recommendations #book review #graphic novel #teen fiction #ya books #ya comics #romance #coming of age #fantasy #D&D #dnd #dungeons and dragons #scott pilgrim

[fcthots]

Can I request 27. "I'm going to carry you, okay?" with an angsty dash of 5. "You don't have anything to be sorry for." please?

You shouldn't have been out.

You should have never left your apartment, especially not in the middle of the night, especially when Jason didn't know you left, but you just wanted to go on a short walk, but one wrong turn turned your short walk into a very long one.

You could hear a few things: the beating of your heart, the sound of your feet hitting the ground as you ran, the sound of their feet running after you, shouting from behind you.

"Get your ass back here or I swear to God, we're gonna fucking kill you!"

Fuck. You just had to go on a walk to clear your head. You just had to get lost. You just had to forget your phone. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

You were running so hard you could barely breathe. You were faster than them, but not by much, and you couldn't keep it up. You were terrified, shaking, slightly crying. You tried screaming, but no one came. You were lost, alone, scared, and being chased. You wished more than anything that you never left your apartment. You wished you just called Jason to calm down, but you didn’t want to bother him. Regret. Regret. Regret.

You've basically run in one big circle, trying to get anywhere near your apartment, but you were so lost. That street sign, though was familiar, but more than that you had passed it before; something else.

Oh.

Oh no.

You knew the name on that street sign because Jason was telling you about it earlier

...in reference to a trafficking case.

Your heart sank. Their footfalls match the erratic beating of your heart. You were tired. You couldn't keep this up forever and they knew the territory. It seemed you were at every disadvantage.

You turned a corner. You had this one chance to lose them. You use all of your remaining energy to run into the gap between the closed down corner store and apartment complex,

and promptly trip on the uneven concrete. Yeah, you pulled something.

And with your absolutely stellar luck, you picked the one alley that was a dead end.

"Fucking finally. Nowhere to run now. I think we should take our time with this one. She made us waste all that time chasing her, what's a little more?"

You open your mouth to beg for your life, but the words won't come out. You try to get up but you collapse again. You use your good leg to move yourself against the wall.

The three men laugh as they slowly approach you, taunting you. They smile and joke at the tears you didn’t notice were falling. You try to think of any possible escape route, but come up empty. One pulls out a gun and you try not to look at it.

"You really thought you could just run away, huh?"

"You can scream as loud as you want. No one is coming."

The third man laughs. "Don't say that. The screaming is fucking annoying."

They get closer to you and you feel the sweat trickle from your hairline.

Everyone's heads turn when there's a loud thud outside the alley.

You aren't exactly focused on it, but it makes them temporarily stop, so you're thankful for it.

"Marcus, go check it out."

"Fuck you. Why do I have to it?"

"Be louder, why don’t you? Quit being a bitch and go."

'Marcus' leaves with a string of curses. The attention is turned back to you again, with impatient smiles and twisted laughter, but not for long.

They make it about two more steps before Marcus yells and there's a crunch and thud.

The two men stop dead in their tracks. Communicating as if with eye contact, one nods, and the other begins to walk slowly along the wall of the alley with his gun raised until he turns the corner. While the first man tries to split his attention between you and his friend, his friend screams.

The last man turns towards you. He rushes forward in an attempt to grab your arm, presumably to drag you, but he never gets that chance.

There is a loud thunk to the back of the man's head before he's on the floor. You look up and see a red helmet.

You don’t think you've ever been happier to see that shiny red.

"Hey, it's ok. It's just me. I wasn't gonna let anything happen to you, I promise. You're safe now."

You try to say his name as he rushes over to you but it comes out as more of a pathetic and terrified whimper.

"Are you hurt?"

You nod your head and watch him freeze.

"Where?"

You drag your leg out from underneath you. He sighs in relief. His shoulders hunch forward, his forehead knocking against yours. He lands a helmet kiss there.

"C'mon. Let's get you home. I'm going to carry you, okay?"

Before you could even think about attempting to reply, he has you scooped up in his arms. He takes a deep breath in and out and locks eyes with you.

"You ok?"

"no fatal injuries"

He hums in acknowledgement. The walk is quiet. Too quiet. You don’t remember most of the walk. The adrenaline wearing off was making you tired, but Jason's silence concerned you. You shouldn't have gone out alone, it was dumb, but you couldn't handle a fight with Jason right now. That's probably why he was being quiet, he mad at you, but knows you don’t wanna fight. He was being so sweet, but to be honest all you wanted was comfort. You can't take him being distant right now.

Fuck it. You can't take it anymore.

"I'm sorry."

He stops on the outside of you apartment complex's elevator, moving two look at you.

You open your mouth to speak again but he cuts you off. "You don't have anything to be sorry for."

"Aren't you mad?"

"I could never be mad at you."

"But you're being all silent."

"I thought you'd want space. Do you not?"

"...no... I want comfort..."

"Alright. And I'm not mad at you. Never mad at you. That wasn't your fault, ok? I was brooding just now because I was scared at the thought of losing you. I love you. So much."

"I love you too."

#life got fucked in the past week #take this thing that I ran out of steam on half way through #i apologize #saph’s love letters #jason todd #jason todd x reader #saph’s thots #red hood #jason todd imagine #red hood x reader #jason todd x you #anon #jason todd angst #red hood imagine #red hood x you #jason todd x reader angst #red hood angst #red hood x reader angst #angst #tw: sa threat #hurt/comfort

[lovely-rubeum]

affirming word.

your first argument with al haitham is one you are sure you’ll never forget. not because of his piercing words and the cold way he stares back at you, but because of his desperate reassurance. the soft way he held you as apologies were uttered, and the gentle way he cared for every tear you shed.

a/n: waah this is my first fic on this account !! cheers ^^

w/c: ~1.5k

warnings: not proof read (im lazy my bad) mentions of arguments, insecurities. hurt/comfort

al haitham has been in maybe, one relationship before this one, you gather. there’s a certain coarseness to the way he approaches love and being in love with you that bleeds with lack of experience. it is not a slight against him, in fact, you’d consider it the furthest from that. you are honored to have been so cherished by someone who claims to not have time for trivial things. if al haitham is good at one thing, beyond mathematics or research or memorization, it is making you feel like you are not and will never be “trivial” to him. he remembers every date, he recalls every small detail, and he does everything he can, even in his busy schedule to make time for you. because you are the one he chose, and you are beyond his preconceptions about the usefulness and reason for “falling in love,” or other trifling activities.

so, when he calls you just that -- useless and pointless and trivial, it stings. and it stings for more than an hour, after the silence has settled in your shared living space and dinner has gone cold. it stings every time he looks at you, unable to control his cold and calculating frustration. even by the time said frustration is no longer directed at you but at himself for getting caught up -- for the escalation to petty insults rather than progress towards a natural solution. even as you both stand up and say you’re sorry for hurting each other and promise to listen and care. you are still left stinging. you ache all over, even as you lie in bed with him, his warm arms pulling your form close as you both whisper declarations of retreat, compromise, and love. you close your eyes and take in his scent, woody, almost a bit musky and just a twinge reminiscent of a well kept library. you would find solace here, but you cannot help but ache. your eyes sting with salt and self-admonishment as you sleep, feeling as though the two of you are left further apart than you were before.

it’s been several days now. the sounds of the bustling streets and the near silence of the akademia’s halls do nothing to comfort your still stirring heart. you see al haitham every day, you tell him you love him every day (because you do, and you’ll be damned before the aftermath of a finished argument tells you that you do not). he echoes the same, but still you think

trivial? were you nothing but pointless and foolish? did your beloved boyfriend, in times of distress, think of you as the very things he swore not to make you feel you were? it hurts to feel distant from him, but you’re sure he hasn’t noticed. in fact, you think it’s better that he hasn’t noticed. he’s a busy, busy man. and, really, he shouldn't be worried about something as frivolous as the way you feel about a pain that’s passed silently for days. you’ll get over it, because you’ve already talked and you love him and that should be enough.

but you forget, that al haitham, while not a fool, is foolishly in love with you. he is a man that gets what he needs and what he wants and when there are obstacles in his path he devises clear plans to avoid them. the only thing he would readily admit to making mistakes over is you. you and your smile that lights up his entire world, you and the way you care for him and challenge his mind in the most electrifying way. you who holds him as he sinks into the depths of his mind, and you who promises him eternity, irrational as that may be. so when you distance yourself, drowning in your own hurt, al haitham is planning. your wounds are like aching scars on his back. prickling with pain and a reminder of his failing, not to himself, but his failing to provide you with the world as you deserve. he sits in his office, stiff and cautious. what on earth could it be that has sent you away from him? what sort of thorns have coated your heart and how should he cut through them to get to you? 

you don’t think much of it, when you’re called into al haitham’s office today. you expect nothing more than an update about his findings. you’ll walk in, say hello, chat for a time until you realize you’ve veered off course and then you’ll depart with timid “i love you”s and you’ll stare into the silence as you hope for the short moment to lift your heart the way it had before it was wounded. you do not expect to see him staring anxiously at the door as you enter. you do not expect him to run a hand through his pretty gray hair and quietly ask you a question.

“could you lock the door?” you do, but you’re holding your breath. dread floods your veins and you cannot help but feel intimidated as he stands and approaches you. in an attempt to flee from your racing mind and heart, you change the subject.

“hi, dear. did you need something? i should have given you the report from—” you’re silenced by the worried look on his face. it’s a foreign expression, one where his shining, always focused eyes dart around you with a mixture of something like fear and hurt, and one where his built arms hang awkwardly at his sides as he figures out what to say first.

“there’s something wrong,” he starts. your breath hitches and you’re forced to break eye contact. al haitham frowns. “please don’t do that. please look at me.” the plea hurts your chest, but you can’t bring yourself to do just that. you try to wave it off.

“there’s nothing—” but the shake in your voice betrays you. he waits for you to open up. for you to take the first step, because your comfort is his priority, but you can tell with the tension in the air that he will cut through if you do not. al haitham gets what he needs, and what he needs more than life is your happiness. you’re sure of that now, as you look back at his expression, endlessly full of concern for you. you can’t bring yourself to lie anymore. “okay, maybe there is something.”

“may i inquire?” he says it so timidly you’d think he’s another person. you can’t stop yourself from sighing. 

“i just… it’s stupid. i don’t think it’s worth making a big deal. i’ll be over it soon.” the deadpan look on his face says otherwise.

“you have been… apart from your usual self. for longer than three nights. i’m worried about you.” al haitham’s admission is shaking, but resolute. his soothing voice quakes just the slightest bit, but he refuses to back down. you cave at his look, just as you always do.

“i‘m just… still hurt. over what you said, when we argued? i didn’t want you to feel bad since we already moved on from the problem but i keep thinking about it and hearing it in my head. you called me trivial.” al haitham pauses, as if recounting the event. you continue. “i know you probably didn’t mean it, but i can’t help but think that maybe…”

“stop,” he says with a gentleness reserved only for you. he places his hands gently on your shoulders while silently asking for permission in his gaze to pull you close. you nod, and suddenly his hand is patting the back of your head softly, as if you’re the most cherished being in the universe itself.

“i’m sorry. i’m so sorry.” you feel your eyes welling up with tears as he holds you close and admits fault. he pulls away slightly, but only to dry your tears with his thumb.

“you are everything to me. and it was only foolish of me to have allowed things to progress to this point. i would move mountains and slay the worst of foes just to see you happy. i have taken away part of your smile, even for a second. and for that i am so sorry.”

there is a tenderness in his eyes. you couldn’t imagine a more beautiful expression if you tried, and it is then that you realize he is not used to wearing this expression. he is clumsy in the way he squeezes you, and although he is intelligent, he is also inept in maintaining his usual aloofness as he reassures you that you will never be a waste of his time. it is then too, that you notice the fear squandering his composure as he promises to love you for what may be the millionth time.

you relax and while you cry in his arms, you allow al haitham’s affirming word into your heart, never to be shaken again.

#al haitam x reader #genshin impact x reader #alhaitham x reader #al haitham genshin #al haitham fluff #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact hurt/comfort #he's kinda been living in my brain the past few days tbh #al haitham come be my math tutor challenge #unrelated to the fic. i just wanted to say #rue's love letters

[inspisart]

messy boy

#dick grayson #dc #inspi art #dumb sketch #really like mora's redesign for dick's classic robin costume i world's finest #feels like a nice balance between modernization and a love letter to the past #hope to see his take on jason's robin suit as well

[pharawee]

—TWINS THE SERIES · Episode 8

#twins bl #twins the series #ryan panya #frame ritchanon #spritefirst #firstsprite #twinsbledit #thai bl #thai drama #bl drama #bl series #my edits. #i love this series but its pacing is way off #the triple take i did when there were suddenly big couple letters over their pushed together beds #when did that happen #more importantly why didn't we see it happen #them pushing together their beds would have been such a cute scene to see #and how the hell did they smuggle these letters past the other guys #does no one else ever visit their room

[astrodances]

"Now I've had the time of my life No, I never felt like this before Yes, I swear it's the truth And I owe it all to you"

This is a very, very special drawing for me. ✨

In September of last year, I watched Dancing With The Stars' "Step Into the Movies" special again, at the end of which they recreate "The Time of My Life" scene from Dirty Dancing. And that sent me on a nostalgia trip back to my high school theater days over a decade ago now, where the drama club accepted my idea to do a "Time of Our Lives" theme, and a performance for that song à la Glee. Mind you, I was mainly the stage manager/techie sort, but I did some scenes for the showcases, and participated in this song with my then-boyfriend, along with two other couples.

And while we were hanging out in the green room backstage, a friend took some pictures of us. Including the one that directly inspired this drawing of Webby + Lena.

This started out as a memory remix of that photo, after watching the DWTS special, because I thought these two lovebirds would be really cute subjects for it.

But once I got going, it turned into a love letter, for many things.

As part of the remix aspect of it, I now picture myself in Lena's spot in the photo, getting to have the short hair I wish I had had back then, and getting to wear a suit and tie! (Yes, in the original photo, I am wearing the dress and red bow Webby's sporting here, and I have long hair. 🙈 Though I will say here that the little heart necklace she's wearing is exactly like the one I had, too! :)) Drawing this was really cathartic for my nonbinary self. 💜

And as for Webby, in this remix, she represents someone that, in retrospect, I wish I had shared this moment with from back then. In many ways, she really was the Webby to my Lena. 💜💖💝

(Literally) beyond the subjects of this though, this is indeed very much a love letter to a lot of things, to passions. The background is pretty much a replica of the drama classroom wall we were in front of for the photo, at least as far as layout goes, with a few direct recreations of things that were on the wall and on the table there. Everything else was me being a passionate (theatre) nerd.

(Details (many details) of said nerdiness and alternate versions below the cut!)

I've included un-blurred and background-only versions (and a version with drop shadow lines on the girls, because why not? it's a cool effect!) below, but I just want to point out the details, because I'm so dang proud of this.

The posters/programs for The Phantom Blot of the Opera, Featherspray, Chickago, and My Fair Dewey are obvious duck-parody references to their real-world counterparts (with the latter being the exact poster they use in DuckTales, in Dewey's dream in "Nightmare on Killmotor Hill!" So thanks, Dewey! 😂). The Featherspray one was also included because Hairspray was one of the shows we did in high school! And lemme just say, creating theater posters is really fun!!

The MJ the Musical poster and the half-shown Notre Dame de Paris "Duckbill" right behind Lena's head are particularly special to me, since they (along with Phantom) are my favorite musicals, and getting to draw those two was especially fun!

The L'Orange Theater poster in the top-right is a bunch of duck easter eggs in one - the L'Orange Theater is mentioned and seen in the very first episode of DuckTales 1987, and of course, there's Aquarioon from DT17! Looks like it toured in Duckburg a long time ago. 😉

And the sheet music is the DuckTales theme! (Or at least the left side of it :P)

The "Congrats" card, calendar (the whale for upper half was my own touch), folder, page of random backstage stuff behind Lena's head (which includes little Star Trek and Darkwing Duck references), and golden "Theatre" card (with my old director's favorite quote) are directly from the photo (or at least based on what I could see through its blurriness 😝), as is the very edge of a cast photo in the upper-right. The purple note (totally not with any secret messages whaaaaat) below that, the certificate of excellence, and the little pride heart pins everywhere are little garnishes/dedications. 😊

The stage/theater diagram below the certificate is really cool, because that's a direct recreation (+ another hidden message) of a project a friend and I did for stagecraft back in our freshman year - I was even able to copy my own handwriting for the labels! 😄😂

The "Time of Our Lives" poster is a reference to the showcase I mentioned above that inspired all this, though the real-life poster looked very different, from what I remember.

The green bag below is sorta a nod to the secret pal exchanges we used to do during shows. 😉

And finally:

The Glittering Goldie show poster is me just having an absolute blast drawing her once again and coming up with something for her Blackjack days! And bonus - I'll be posting a gradient-only version of Goldie tomorrow! Really happy with how she turned out!

And the "All the World's a Stage" poster is me combining all of my theatre nerdiness with my passion for space and a good pun! 😁

ANYWAY...

I learned a lot with this drawing, about creating and about myself.

And I just had so, so much fun with it - it was all love, all passion, all happiness for this one. 💜💖💝

Wishing the same for all of you. ✨

Love, Astro 💜

#DuckTales #Webby Vanderquack #Lena Sabrewing #weblena #my art #long post #I just have a lot of feelings for this one 🥹 #(the post itself kinda is a love letter? for future me as much as past me and present me. yeah let's go with that) #for real though still cackling over my design for the Phantom Blot of the Opera poster XD

[idontevenremember5minutesago]

#yes I’ve been replaying this nonstop since it came out #what of it? #helluva boss #helluva boss fizzarolli #helluva fizzarolli #fizzarolli #a love letter to many past bosses

[northwest-by-a-train]

One of my most deeply-held beliefs on culture is that somewhere out there there is a 27yo with a crinkled non-binary flag in the corner of their room, more mugs and dirty plates in their sink than bricks in the tower of Babel, less than 70 of god's own dollars in their bank account to finish the month and five dying plants on the windowsill, crusty stuff in the corner of their eyes, who has crafted a world of aching beauty Tolkien and Homer could only ever dream of, a vision that honours all that is noble and raw in the heart of Man, a vindication of existence and a balm to suffering, all for the benefit of a half-dozen harem pants wearers on a server named "Bingus' Grotto"

#To be clear this a love letter to my DM the elusive and recluse ''N'' #who from the remote Galapagos Islands has been for the past three years guiding us in an adventure that mixes #the paintings of david caspar friedrich; the writings of jacques abeille; the visions of darwin; the zany adventures of oda #the rhythm and language of Juan José Saer; characters worthy of Dumas and Sfar; dialogue like Chandler... #and a million other influences converging on what I must admit #is the purest form of love I have experienced from someone who is neither a lover nor family #love you ''N''

[foxgirlmoth]

Actually I'm deleting the app. Peace out Tumblr, its been a hell of a decade.

Cohost, Bluesky, twitter, Steam, Twitch, and Discord are all: Windfaemaiden

Might be all lowercase on Discord, and thats the best place to reach me. After that I might be on Cohost, my Twitter is a bit dead, and bluesky is. Eh. Talk to me on steam if you wanna game.

My alt accounts here are Windfaemaiden for my art blog, and my alt blog which is 18+ is mothgirlmilk.

I might check desktop tumblr in a while but this place has become too hostile and its just painful. I met the love of my life here by talking about Metroid. I love this girl so much and the place we met has been so actively hostile I just can't be here any more and it sucks so much. I get sentimental about so many things and I'm crying over losing the place I met my wife. Fuck.

I'm gonna miss a lot of you, if we ever even exchanged a reply or dm or ask or two, I would love to hear from you in the future. If this place gets better I might even be back, who knows. So many of you have become friends and people in my circle who I love to learn about.

💕💕💕💕💕

#runa diary #Maxine if you see this I'm sobbing rn this sucks so much #It feels like I'm leaving a little bit of both of in the past. #Like. Idk. This is where we met. This is where we met ;;^;; #I know I get to see you in person now and we have so many ways to talk now #But I think I'm just remembering our little talks on here and memories that I guess were made here #And its making me sob. Buh. #I love seeing your little thoughts and I love seeing you get excited about things and I love seeing the side of you #That I initially fell in love with #If you ever feel like it I'd love little messages just talking about the kind of stuff you say here. I love small talk with you #Thats what I'm gonna miss the most. #Just. Your presence in a place I can visit from my phone. #ily Maxie I'll talk to you in the morning love <3 #This is a love letter to ourselves from over 2 years ago and how we met and fell in love

[linipik]

I wanted to post ONE comic PDF this month but it is May so now I'm thorn between the two options I have, so now it's up to voting!

Love Letter 💌 -the Valentine's one with all the extra panels - OR Once Upon the Shore - the old Merkeith one that has the Klance comic + an adashi fic (same universe)

#pdf is free/pay what you want so...yeah #not to post today #but just.... this month #both need the same amount of work so...yeah #i feel it should be the merkeith one bc i owe it to you all for the past 3 years #but love letter is so recent and it is so nice to have it completely done #polls are nice bc i can't decide things unless someone tells me the option I don't like

[laesas]

The hands holding yours are not clean either.

VegasPete + Hands || KinnPorsche (2022)

#Disclaimer: I have very complicated feelings about this show and this couple after everything that's happened over the past month #I actually started these in late december for a friends birthday but the colouring ended up so complicated I didnt get it done #and while I'm still untangling how I feel about the fandom and fan culture and the whole situation (tldr: bad sad parasocially betrayed lol #I was so proud of these for my 3rd ever gifset the absolutely insane amount of time I spent on the colouring and masking against shaky shot #like I genuinely had to keyframe adjust about 8 different overlapping layers frame-by-frame for at least 1 of these lol #and perhaps selfishly: I need to post bc I can't bring myself to work on new sets while this was staring back at me every time i opened PS #And I'm proud of it and it meant a lot and even though the shape of the fandom and friendships have changed its still worth something to me #anyway. enough rambling. on to the actual tags lol #VegasPete #kinnporche the series #vegas theerapanyakul #pete saengtham #asiandramasource #asianlgbtqdramas #lgbtedit #vegas kp #pete kp #idk idk idk I feel like this is my one last little love letter to these silly little characters that meant a lot to me #and to the friends that inspired it too #on a lighter note: the caption is an adapted taemin lyric and the colours were inspired by the criminal MV lmao #so like lol its not that deep :') #aaaand post. #bee.gif #kpts

[jasontoddssuper]

None of the Arrowfam except Roy give a fuck about Jason.Mia hates him obviously,Connor just knows him as that guy who's a jerk to his friend Tim,Oliver finds him insuffarable but tolerates him for Bruce's sake and Dinah is WAITING for her chance to beat his ass.The closest thing is Lian but even then she just thinks of him as her lame uncle on her stepmom's side(the stepmom in question being Dick,congrats on completing your transition queen).It's what he deserves

#i'm in love with him btw #jason todd #mia dearden #connor hawke #oliver queen #lian harper #roy harper #dick grayson #dickroy #t4t dickroy #group:years gone past #arrowfam #batfam #teen titans #letters from summer #dinah lance #dinahollie #t4t dinahollie #dick grayson:trans woman extrodinare

[sashimiyas]

“part of me feels like ya don’t even want me around.”

you can hear the way osamu’s toes rustle against your stained carpet. it’s still littered with glitter from a previous celebration you hosted more than half a year ago. he digs his big toe deep, pulling the fibers taut and you watch sparks fly in its wake. the final embers of a dying flame.

it’s quiet. nothing is on aside from your fridge and yet the silence is so loud. osamu sits in front of you and it’s like you’re seeing him for the first time. you might sleep next to each other. you might kiss each other goodbye. but when was the last time you truly acknowledged his company?

“that’s not true.” what you say is honest despite the fragile tone in your voice. osamu doesn’t believe you anyways. his upper lip twitches the same way it does when green peppers happen to find its way into his food. he frowns the same way he does when he sees atsumu call at an unreadable hour.

you can see the doubt on his face before he even expresses it. “it’s like ya don’t even see me anymore.”

as much as you want to deny his accusation, you can’t because he’s right. your lips part but osamu’s sharp glance silences you. his glare dares you to try, try and lie to him and pretend everything is alright.

“you’re right,” you compromise. he’s right. he deserves to hear that he is, even if it’s a truth that’s hurtful to the heart. osamu collects his win in a stubborn sadness with a back straight and downcast eyes. “but it’s not what you think.”

it’s quiet. this conversation had been planned because the both of you know what you’re losing. so the phones are silence in another room. the tv is off. you’d disconnected yourself from the world in order to center it back to you two.

it’s been a long time since you’d been able to see osamu for who he is. not a partner. not a lover. but a man. a man with a right knee that cracks every time he swings it, a man with dark, coarse hair marbled across his skin, a man with shoulders large enough to house your chin, your legs, your neck, your lips. a man with a scar across his brow and a man who is still a man with needs that you have left untended.

you’d lost him to the fog of life and gained distance instead. so you reach across the couch to place your palm atop the back of his hand.

“i want to come back to you. i miss you.” you squeeze. “let me come back to you.”

osamu flips his hand around to hold yours.

#reinas.inretrograde #reina.writeshaikyuu!! #a sleep deprived love letter #i will not edit this bc i have been through a lot in the past week

[liedende]

「Happy birthday, ____, thank you for being born」

#towa slow damage #slow damage spoilers #slow damage #maya #maya slow damage #Happy birthday Towa! Blessed be your past and your future! #the 4 letters blank spells Maya thank you for being the worst mother ever I love you

[zeb-z]

Gillion knowing the curse is taking hold, that he’s dying, unsure if there will be a fix, if they’ll get there in time. Using his time with Jay and Chip asking questions, and offering answers in return, so they at least won’t be caught unprepared if he dies with all the things they wanted to say - and using the opportunity to ask them about the little things. Chip’s favorite flavor, Jay’s favorite animal, what they love and what he loves too. Laying on that table when they make it to Featherbrooke, May Ferrin talking to him like he’s not dying at all, trying to keep him awake, keep him comfortable, and all he can talk about is Chip and Jay. There was nothing more important than imparting their knowledge, no other final words he might have wanted to share, because they are what is most important to him. All the little things that make up who he loves. He thought he was going to die, was dying, and he talked about raspberries, purely for the fact that it’s Chip’s favorite flavor.

#I just. dude #raspberries and raccoons and sea salt and fish #he made puddle into a raccoon for Jay. he talked about raspberries as he was dying. he loves them so much #gillion tidestrider finally facing death and realizing he doesn’t want to die. his friends don’t want him to die. and trying to comfort #his friends through his pain anyways. trying to make it painless for him for once in his life #idk man. the past 30 episodes have just been gods hate letter to gillion tidestrider. for the first night in a long time he can actually #sleep. not in the Pearl. not hiding from Filipe. not suffering the torment nightmares or staying up for weeks at a time. he can just sleep #jrwi riptide 98 #jrwi 98 #gillion tidestrider #z speaks

[icewindandboringhorror]

There's always a slight yearning in the back of my mind wishing I had been born in the right place, time, family situation, income level, etc. to have just lived in one single house for my entire life. Imagine being born in a place that still suits you, even through all of your personal evolutions and etc. The idea of deep familiarity with an area because you've lived and explored it for 40+ years, being encased in a web of memories and connections. Being able to clean out your old childhood bedroom and find personal artifacts, to dig in the yard and remember. I know those lives can still be plenty imperfect, but there's just something so seemingly solid and stable and Grounding about it that I sometimes wish I could have.. (At least from my outside perspective as someone who's moved around a bit geographically and even within the same area, never lives in the same house/ apartment /etc. for more than a few years usually.) Like... having a place that is printed upon, fully your own, rather than chronically a visitor, every thought of a space always tempered with the notion that one day soon you'll have to pack it all up again, etc. There's something peaceful about the permanence.

#I think also because I'm a very nostalgic person - THOUGH not in the way that somep poeple mean when they say nostalgia because I've realiz #ed that to some people apparently it means like.. more of a sad emotional thing? Or when I talk about being nostalgic they say 'me too' and #then describe how they're always depressed dwelling on the past wishing they could revisit it and replaying it and feeling sad and etc. #Whereas for me - it's not in a deep or emotional way at all. It's very detached - kind of like someone who is doing like a scientific #cataloguing of something? I don't feel any remorse or sadness or longing or sitting there sobbing for hours over people/pets I've lost or #etc. It's more like a fun contemplative excercise and extension of self analysis plus just documentation. Like I know your memory fades as #you get older OR even as stuff is actively ongoing humans have terrible recall - even the ones who are less emotional/more focused on #accuracy our minds still twist things or etc. SO I looove to have documentations of everything possible so that in the future I will have #as full and complete of a view of myself as I possibly can. sure the image will undoubtedly be a little distorted but having real evidence #of how something was at a time is very valuable. You look through old messages or letters or something and you always find other alternate #versions of yourself. Not in a worse way like inherently inferior Previous Models Of You who haven't yet been perfected but even just in a #neutral way like 'what they're saying is not a BAd thing but also is not how I would say that today.' etc. ANYWAY I find it really interest #ing to document and remember things and love revisiting the past - not in a sad way - but just like. curiosity. reminiscing and recalling #and filling in gaps. or trying to have the same feeling I felt at a previous time so I can remember what it was. Collecting information for #documentation purposes. Like for example - I would love to go back and tour all of my old childhood houses/apartments. Not to like #sit in the middleof them and cry and go 'ohhh my childhood waughhh' - but literally because I want to take detailed photographs so I #can remeber exatly what they looked like and recreate them in sims or some other digital way. Why? idk. just to gather the information. If #I ever live to like 80 years old and I'm still reflecting on my life curious about the dteails of it. I want to be able to fire up my #ancient windows 10 laptop I've kept all these years and open up the sims 4 and tour my old home with accuracy etc. ?? #Not sure why really. Maybe an extension of how I generally care a lot about having an 'accurate' view of things? Like I would rather be #accurate than be happy. I don't understand 'ignorance is bliss' because I would always rather know. I always always in any situation am mor #focused on 'what is the well researched practical truth' than about 'how does this make me feel' or etc. Truth above ALL else even if it #were to make me miserable. Aka why I'm a 'boring' 'annoying' 'UM actually..' type of killjoy lol because it's very hard for me to understan #that some people can enjoy something or have a good time even not knowing the full facts of a situation or etc. BUT anyway. since that is #some core driver of my personality for whatever reason (just the plague of ennegram type 5 perhaps lol) maybe that also drives me to my #kind of minor obsession with like 'I must have a complete view and calatoguing of my life that is as accurate as possible within the means #i have' . Is it REALLY important for me to know the exact layout of on of my first childhood bedrooms? no. materially it does nothing for m #in life. BUT hey. it would make a great addition to the Accurate Life Story Catalogue lol. ANYWAY.. But I think a lot of wanting to live in #one place forever is not just the ease of documentation. but the sense of having a constant. Much of what i crave most in life is stability #& familiarity &routine bc of how my brain works. And it just would feel so good to be Settled. Never uproot again. One little place FOREVER