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#man covid really fucked up my love life
xnervouscircus · 9 months
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oh
that's
oh
i'm
i am legitimately tearing up oh wow
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fahye · 2 months
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book recs: feb 2024
(disclaimer: I have spent nearly three months languishing and sullen with post-COVID symptoms and have read, over dec-feb, eighty-one books. this is a ruthlessly streamlined list of recs that does not include, uh, all the rereading of sarah maclean and charlie adhara and georgette heyer books.)
AT FIRST SPITE by olivia dade - what if I moved in next to the man who ruined my engagement to his younger brother, and tried to ruin his life by playing monsterfucking audiobooks really loudly?? a heartfelt and lovely romance that also expertly sets up a great small-town setting for an ongoing series.
THE REFORMATORY by tananarive due - historical horror based on the existence of a real school for boys, clear-eyed and brutal in showing the the effect of racist systems in the 1950s american south. compelling as hell. even if you're not usually into horror, I'd recommend this: the ghost aspect is light-handed and really not as important as the horror of what humans do to other humans.
SOMETHING WILD & WONDERFUL by anita kelly - this is a m/m romance about walking the pacific crest trail which made me see the appeal of very long walks. a miracle! it's gentle and emotional and well put together; the characters really grabbed me.
THE BELL IN THE FOG by lev a.c. rosen - the followup to 'lavender house', and somehow even better?? a historical mystery series featuring a queer private eye in 1950s san francisco who looks into crimes against other queer people. amazing queer history! ACAB! I hope there are fifty more books in this series.
FEAST WHILE YOU CAN* by mikaella clements & onjuli datta - beautiful, greedy, terrifying small-town horror that is also a fucking fantastic, gorgeously written sapphic love story. this one IS for the horror fans. it gave me the absolute creeps but I couldn't put it down.
LADY EVE'S LAST CON* by rebecca fraimow - I described this on bsky as 'if you like Leverage, space opera, old screwball comedies, and dashing sapphics who are at all times spiritually wearing a leather jacket: this one is for you' and I stand by that. huge amounts of fun.
LONG LIVE EVIL* by sarah rees brennan - I will be screaming from here until forever about SRB's first adult fantasy book. if you like the isekai'd-into-a-villain-character setup and want it to be hilarious, genre-savvy and wildly angry and clever, you will roll around in this like a blood-stained mud puddle and then beg for more.
THE LAST HOUR BETWEEN WORLDS* by melissa caruso - really clever and original fantasy about a woman on maternity leave who gets dragged into saving a cocktail party which is falling through increasingly murderous and bizarre dimensions. LISTEN, JUST GO WITH IT. it's a seriously cool adventure.
YOU SHOULD BE SO LUCKY* by cat sebastian - yes, it's another m/m romance about queer history in the mid 20th century, this one between a baseball player and the journalist assigned to write a story about his slump. made me care about baseball. cat is a genius.
*I read these as ARCs, they're not available yet but consider preordering or keep your eye out for them!
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agentstarkid · 9 months
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SERENDIPITY ✦ DR3
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“Serendipity is an unexpected and very lucky finding, that is, a coincidence that fills us with happiness. Serendipity in love implies the feeling that the universe conspires in our favor, bringing that special person into our lives at the right time and oh boy, did the universe send her everything she ever needed in the form of a 5'10" man with a built-in accent, a love for Tim Tams, adrenaline-fueled spirit and a smile that could light up a whole town.”
✦ pairing: daniel ricciardo x famous!latina!reader
✦ type: social media au
✦ face claim: becky g
✦ warnings: female!reader, covid-19 & quarantine mentions, age gap, language.
✦ pit wall live: HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY BESTIES! 🤗💗 I've been working on this for a month, honestly I thought I was gonna finish it fast but tbh that was really naïve of me 🥴 the amount of times I ended up changing almost every little thing is insane lol but today I sat down and commited to finish and post this! this is my first ever smau or any kind of 'x reader' really, so please be kind 🤍 and of course it was going to be about the love of my life!
— oh btw, my idea is to get to present time and make it angsty so let me know what you guys think! I really hope you enjoy!
─── The Joker & The Queen (Masterlist)
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JANUARY 01, 2020
yourinstagram and danielricciardo added to their stories!
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danielricciardo has followed yourinstagram!
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yourinstagram
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♡ liked by anitta, danielricciardo and 6,546,214 others
yourinstagram 2019 was full of happiness, pain, healing and growth. I loved a lot, I cried a lot and I laughed a lot. I'm grateful for a lot of things in life, but I'm specially grateful for you guys ❤️🥂 I LOVE YOU! ❤️
tagged: selenagomez, fioamato, iamdannaschwarz, itsvittoriasousa
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fioamato It's out with the old and in with the new ⏭️😜
iamdannaschwarz this could be the start of something new indeed 😏🤭 yourinstagram 🙈 user yourinstagram girlieee does this mean you found your Troy Bolton tonight? 👀👀👀
iamdannaschwarz what a year it has been! Through the ups and downs you prevailed. So proud of you! Cheers, amiga! 🥂❤️
itsvittoriasousa u deserve the whole world, i wish everyone knew ur heart 🥺 love you biiiiiiig ❤️
user1 can we talk about that dress!!!! jaw dropped 🤯
user2 Mami 🔥🔥🔥
selenagomez ❤️🥂🎆
user3 danny ric you ain't slick baby we can see u 👀
user4 words on the streets that they were seen pretty close the whole night 👀
user5 girlies do we think the writing on the napkin belongs to mr. ricciardo? 🧐
user4 what about the last pic?? could it be about a nod to him???
user3 somebody call the fbi and the cia we need to decode this 🔎🔎🔎
sebastianyatra una locura de año 🚀 happy new year penguin!
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JANUARY 25, 2020
justjared
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♡ 9.075 Likes
justjared New couple alert?! YN LN, 21, and Formula 1 driver Daniel Ricciardo, 30, were spotted on a walk and getting cozy during a night out in New York. More photos now on JustJared.com #YNLN #Daniel Ricciardo Photos: Backgrid
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user1: well that's a couple nobody saw coming 😶 good for them tho
user2: These pictures are so creepy as to get these they literally have to stalk these people and are probably hiding in bushes or wherever to get the shots
user3: he's a full-grown man in his 30s messing around with a teenager how shocking 🙄
user4: how is she a teenager if she's 21??? she is a consenting adult and has been for a while...make it make sense user5: it's a 9-year age gap not 25 😑 y'all should learn to mind your own fucking business
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FEBRUARY 05, 2020
danielricciardo added to their story!
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yourinstagram added to their story!
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yourinstagram
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♡ liked by danielricciardo, greeicy and 7,452,325 others
yourinstagram starry nights, sunsets, little moments, deep conversations & special feelings 💖🃏
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iamdannaschwarz pov: you were there to witness the first conversation 🤣
itsvittoriasousa never knew a person could blush that hard 😂 yourintagram you are both getting blocked 🙅‍♀️
fioamato 🃏🃏🃏
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michaelitaliano and scottyjames31 have followed yourinstagram!
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MARCH 11 & 12, 2020
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yourinstagram has added to their story!
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APRIL 09, 2020
yourinstagram
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♡ liked by danielricciardo, jbalvin and 5,723,498 others
yourinstagram Quarantine with an aussie boyfriend: turns out, 'G'day mate' is the only greeting you'll ever need. Who needs handshakes anyway? Also, you get to excessively use the word 'mate' without being judged. It's basically a linguistic free pass 🤷🏽‍♀️😂🇦🇺
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user: OMG OMG IT'S FUCKING HAPPENING!!!! EVERYBODY STAY CALM!!!
user: Dan-Y/N nation how we feeling today? 😍
user: wasn't she dating sebastianyatra tho?
user2: nah they've been friends for years
user3: «cristina» is lowkey about her tho 🤭 "you were 19, i was 23"?? and there's a 4 year age gap between them?? they deffff had something going on a few years back AT LEAST 👀
user2: who knows maybe they did, but they refer to each other as "like-a-brother" and "like-a-sister" so as far as we know they are only best friends 🤷🏽‍♀️
fioamato what do you say titi yourmomsinstagram does it get the seal of approval?
yourmomsinstagram 🤔🤔🤔 yourinstagram she face-timed me and told me to pass the phone so she could talk to him. They talked for an hour. They are besties now, she's just trying to play hard-to-get 🙃
danielricciardo and 5,345 other liked it
fioamato 😂😂😂
jbalvin encantado de verte feliz hermanita ❤️
danielricciardo tell your boyfriend he's really lucky 🤙🏼
yourinstagram thanks will do, mate 🤙🏼
user OMG??? you guys are so unserious 😭
user2 MOM??? DAD???
user3 danielricciardo yourinstagram i'm glowing, flourishing and thriving 🥰😭
michaelitaliano shitty accent though
yourinstagram I love my haters ❤️ you guys are my motivators ☺️ btw don't you have a kangaroo to fight?
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APRIL 29, 2020
yourinstagram
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♡ liked by michaelitaliano, danielricciardo, lewishamilton and 6,498,498 others
yourinstagram Spanglish country…we’re doing it!! Watch kanebrown_music and I blend sounds, languages and dance moves in #LostInTheMiddleOfNowhere (Spanish Remix) 😜 song and video OUT NOW 🔥
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iamcardib OKAAAY MAMAAA 🧊🧊🥶
lali ALTA DIOSA 🔥
user she 👏 never 👏 misses 👏
itsvittoriasousa BRO U ABSOLUTELY ATEEE
user jaw drops to floor eyes pop out of sockets hearts out of chest 😍
danielricciardo wow caliente 🔥
user the amount of unwell I am in this exact moment
user2 daniel is right. muy caliente 🥵
user3 i'm losing my mind over 2 words + emoji okay
user4 daniel stop being a cunt and make an appearence in one of Y/N's ig lives
user5 user4 you could totally hear his voice in the last one lmao
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MAY 03, 2020
danielricciardo
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♡ liked by pierregasly, jensonbutton, iamdannaschwarz and 710,610 others
danielricciardo Just a bunch of life 🤠🚜🇦🇺🇺🇸
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yourinstagram awesome taste in music mate 👍🏼
danielricciardo big fan of hers 👍🏼 love finding new underground artists ☺️ user imagine calling THE yourinstagram an "underground artist" lmaooo user2 they're both such little shits i love them your honor 😭
kristenanniebell ❤️❤️❤️
scottyjames31 I see you're in good company mate
corey_wilson goodness I miss the ranch so much
user daniel said lemme give you thirsty bitches a few droplets of water
user2 there's so much to unpack here omfg
iamdannaschwarz you're welcome 😌 also there's a no-return policy in the contract ok bye
fioamato you're welcome 😌 x2 itsvittoriasousa you're welcome 😌 x3 danielricciardo nah i think i'm gonna keep it for a long while thanks. i'll rate you guys with 5 stars 👍🏼
user3 THE LETTER ON THE LAST PHOTO ???? I'M SENDING Y'ALL MY THERAPY BILLS
user4 THE MATCHING RINGS PLEASE!!!!!!! 😭😭😭
user5 all this soft launch shit is killing me guys help somebody let them know that we already know so they can stop playing!!!
yourinstagram but where's the fun in that babes? 😌 user holy shittttt!!!! y/n ???? i- 🤯 user5 OH MY GOD!!!! HI MOTHER AJKFFLAHDASD user2 it's a fucking confirmation!!!! dan-y/n nation we got it!!! it's crumbs but we got it!!!!!
user6 we stan a suportive bf ☝️🤩
user7 999 for grammy's best album of the year ✨manifesting✨
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─── Please don't forget to reblog & comment! ♡
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talisidekick · 1 year
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Thanks for being so compassionate! As someone who's had to defend himself from assault pre transition and assault and attempted trafficking during transition which has contributed to some agoraphobia centered on thoughts like "damn, wasn't safe off T not safe on it", it's been rlly scary seeing ppl shrug off how transmascs are endangered in real life in service of discrediting transandro discourse. Cool seeing who's really real I guess????? anyways hope you're well and warm. Srry about my run on sentence lmao
There is absolutely nothing to apologize for. We only get to see one side publically, and that's pretty much just trans women issues. Media likes to cover just us. I rarely see news stories about just trans men. We don't see the stories about trans men getting stalked or followed around in stores by total strangers, getting attacked in public, rarely a mention if a trans man gets killed. It's happening but you don't see it. You don't see a flood of forum posts about the constant dismissal of, unique brand of hatred around, or the types of dangers faced by trans men.
My introduction to questioning my gender was actually FROM transandrophobia. The reason for this is I've had more of a curvy figure since ... well forever, even though my body was producing T on it's own. I got A LOT of compliments on it by pretty much all my friends (which were mostly girls, and yes that probably should have been a sign but I'm a bit thick sometimes, okay?) because I was "unconventionally sexy" because of it. I'm now remembering I do have a shirtless picture somewhere from before I was on HRT ... I'll work up the nerve to show that at some point to prove that point. Anywho, because of this, a random ass stranger had been following me as I went to grab a few things from a walmart after my shift. It was weird as fuck. Uncomfortably close, constantly looking at me but not what they were pretending to, and I kind of knew this dick was waiting until there was no one in the aisle before pulling something. I'd been mugged before at 14 and 15 so at 24 I was kind of like "I'm not getting stabbed in a damn Walmart" and just made sure to be quick. I got out of the store and met up with some old work friends and just let them know someone was following me and I wanted to wait them out. Props to my friends at the time, they bullseyed the dude (to be fair he wasn't being stealthy) and called him out. And he yelled back "You'll never be a real man" to me. My friends laughed at him because as far as we all knew, I was cis. But this would happen two more times in the same week. A lady would tell me I shouldn't be doing "this" to myself with a full body gesture, and that god "loves" me; and a college colleague flat out dismissed my concerns on something because "only a real man would need to worry about that". It got me wondering if this was a new fad, to hate on someones manliness, and upon looking that up I learned about what exactly transgender meant, the experiences of trans men and women (just a bit on women, my concern was on trans men at the time), and thought it was kind of cool there were people who'd know two sides to the gender spectrum. But it must SUCK to have to go through the bullshit I did and actually be affected by it. Like, no one has any right to tell another man they're less of one.
This whole situation would actually come back to help me 2 years later in finding myself. I'd only really looked up trans men and curiosity mid covid lock down would lead me to look up non-binary and then trans women. However, transandrophobia is how I, a trans woman, got her start. So it boils my blood when I see people talk about T being toxic or trans men having it easier. It shows a complete lack of understanding and a lack of acceptance and willingness to empathize. Trans men and trans mascs have different issues, that doesn't make them lesser, and while those issues may not affect me, it doesn't make it less of my problem to help deal with where I can. I know certain issues I'll have no experience on, no idea how to help, but that doesn't mean I can't still offer to be support. Everyone should be doing the same, and shame on those who aren't.
You deserve equal treatment and support in your fight for it, not dismissal. Those that dismiss the issues of trans men aren't allies, they're transphobes. And fuck transphobes.
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brook1yn-baby · 10 months
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poison
pc!stan oneshot <3
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characters; post covid stan x fem reader
warnings; dom/sub themes, fem+male masturbation, exhibitionism kinda, praise+degradation, petnames (sweetpea, baby), daddy kink, smut with aftercare 💋
a/n; this is for the anon that requested pc stan nsfw i’m dumb and accidentally deleted the ask 😪 thank u for requesting, it made my day teehee
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stan hated his job.
okay, maybe that was a little dramatic. his job was…bearable. the pay was good, hours were flexible, he was basically his own boss and he worked from home. an online whiskey consultant wasn’t exactly a job he’d expected to be doing, especially so late in his life, but he was definitely passionate about it. or was it the alcohol he was passionate about? he could never quite tell. even so, he didn’t dread getting up every morning to answer calls from businessmen who had nothing better to spend their money on than copious amounts of whiskey.
but, right now, as he sits by his desk in his office on the phone to some guy who just can’t decide between two different bottles, he hates his job. and no, it wasn’t because the guy had spent the past twenty minutes mumbling to himself about the price and still hadn’t made a decision. it was during those twenty minutes that stan decided he hated his job. because during those twenty minutes, you’d walked into his office, sat on the sofa across from him and spread your legs, revealing that you were wearing nothing under your skirt.
god, stan really, really hated his job.
he couldn’t speak. even if he could, he wouldn’t be allowed. dirty-talking his pretty little tease of a girlfriend while on the phone with a client probably wasn’t the best look for the company. still, he just couldn’t pull his eyes away from your slow, gentle fingers as they slipped over your chest, stopping to pinch your nipples. the look on your face was enough to get him hard: bottom lip between your teeth, eyes half-lidded, staring right at him. there was probably the beginning of a smirk somewhere in there too, but stan was too busy watching your slutty display to check.
you knew for a fact this would end in a punishment. sure, stan loved how needy, how desperate you were for him, but always said the same thing when you were begging him to touch you; ‘good girls are patient. y’gonna be a good girl for daddy?’
usually, you’d whine, but nod and leave him be until he decided you deserved a reward. today was different. you weren’t gonna give him the chance to say anything. you’d woken up and his side of the bed was empty, you’d eaten breakfast, lunch and dinner alone, you’d gone grocery shopping and even carried all of the bags inside by yourself. he’d been in his office all day, and you were sick of it.
so, as your finger runs slow circles on your clit and his eyes darken, you know you’ve finally gotten his attention. the guy on the phone must’ve said something important, because stan has to drag his eyes away from you for a second, mumbling as he quickly types something on his computer, sighing. you giggle at his frustration, but stop promptly as he gives you a certain look; one that says ‘i’m not done with you yet’.
you take it in your stride, pushing a single digit into yourself, letting out a hushed whimper and grinning up at him. you knew it was taking everything in him to not throw his phone down and fuck you stupid. instead, he palmed at his cock through his pants, his face stoic. when you slip another finger in though, your moans a little louder now, his breath catches in his throat. he continues talking to the man on the other end of the phone, but there’s an edge to his voice, like he’s about to snap any second and hang up. you fuck yourself with your fingers, slowly, letting him watch you adjust to the feeling. fuck, you were still so tight. stan’s practically sweating now, unzipping his pants and pulling his cock out. he’s so hard it looks painful. he grabs his tip, wiping the precum down his length and pumping his dick as he stares at you, almost in awe of how much of a whore he’d turned you in to.
you would’ve never pulled this stunt when you first started dating.
he smirks as you bring your other hand back to your chest, swirling your fingertips around your nipple, grabbing and pinching, desperate for more stimulation. it wasn’t enough, and he knew it. you both knew it. it wasn’t him.
stan must’ve reached his breaking point as he cuts off the man on the phone. “look, dude, it’s not hard. get the macallan.” his hand leaves his dick to type something, then returns to jerking himself off as soon as the guy agrees and says he’ll order that one. he exchanges quick, strained pleasantries before basically throwing his phone onto the desk.
he doesn’t move for a few seconds. you stop your movements, removing your fingers and sitting still on the couch, full of adrenaline and lust.
then, he laughs. it’s quiet, and with his head down, you can barely hear him. he leans back in his chair, cock still upright and dripping as he looks down at you. “you wanna tell me what the fuck you’re doing?” his words are sharp and harsh, and it’s obvious he’s pissed. still, you give him the least nervous smile you can muster. you weren’t used to taking the reigns for once, or atleast trying to. stan was usually the one to instigate anything in your relationship, and as much as you liked him being soft with you, you needed something else. it was like an itch you couldn’t scratch- you knew he was capable of going harder on you, you just had to push him. luckily for you, this seemed to do it.
you hum quietly. “nothin’.”
that makes him laugh again. but it’s louder, a lot louder, and there’s an air of anger to it. “nothin’, huh?” he nods gently. then, slowly, he stands up, looking down at you still sat cautiously on the couch. his dick twitches against his stomach as he watches you from this new angle. he leans down slightly, hand coming to your jaw to hold your head towards him. “did i tell you to stop?”
you could’ve come from just the way he looked down at you. still holding his gaze, you bring your fingers back to your cunt, pushing two digits back inside. you rest your head on his hand as you fuck yourself, fast and messy, desperate to reach your high before he can take it away from you. he brushes a few stray hairs from your face, rubbing your cheek gently as he coos at your soft whimpers- it was so humiliating, and it made you even wetter. “there’s my obedient little girl.” his voice is quiet. he watches you intently, his cock still throbbing against his stomach. it was so difficult for him to just watch you and not touch himself.
it’s not hard to finish; you clench around your fingers, legs shaking as he pets your hair, whispering obscenities through your orgasm. your breathing is heavy when you finally settle down, as is stan’s. you go to remove your fingers, the warning signs of overstimulation already prominent, but stop when you feel stan’s large hand wrap around your wrist, keeping yours in place. his other grips your chin a little tighter. he tuts gently. “you wanted to be a little slut,” his voice is low and it sends a shiver down your spine, “so i’m gonna treat you like one.”
his hand moves slowly, coercing your fingers inside of yourself and you let him, curling them to reach your sweet spot, all while letting out strained moans. he ignores your whining, simply repeating his earlier words; you had decided to act like a whore, and you were gonna be punished for it. by now, the line between pain and pleasure had blurred. you couldn’t tell whether the ache in your core was from exhaustion or another building orgasm, but it didn’t matter anyway. you force your eyes open when he takes his hand from your chin, watching through blurry vision as he jerks himself off and pushes your fingers deeper inside of you. it was so intoxicating, so embarrassingly delicious. you were a squirming mess next to him, babbling as your second orgasm hit you like a freight train.
you can barely speak as it passes. you’re begging by this point, soft whimpers and pained ‘please’s, though you’re unsure whether you’re begging for it to stop or for him to finally fuck you. stan seems to get the message, wiping the stray tears from your pink cheeks and removing his hand from your wrist. “s’too much baby?” his words are soft, but the grin on his face is smug. you nod pitifully, sniffling, legs still shaky. suddenly, his hand snakes up your spine, coming to grab at your hair and pushing you back on the couch. his hands pull you up to your knees, leaving you face down and arched. “too fuckin’ bad, slut.” you hear his voice behind you, then feel his cock slap against your pussy. you’re dripping and sore from your first two orgasms and you’re not sure if you can handle a third, but it’s blaringly obvious you don’t get a choice as he pushes into you.
it stings, and leaves you tearing up again as he bottoms out, but fuck, does it feel good. it’s like he’s made to fuck you. your whole body ached, and you were pretty sure your legs were about to collapse, but as he slams into you, you can’t focus on anything but how big he feels inside of you. he was already close, his movements sloppy and harsh, but he was making the most of this. he needed to make sure he taught you a lesson.
your hands grab onto anything they can; you grasp at the couch, trying to hold yourself up as each of his thrusts seem harder than the last. he clutches at your hips with strong, thick fingers, squeezing slightly as he nears orgasm, urged on by your muffled moans and tears. you manage to come again, but it’s overshadowed by the pain searing through your whole body. you let yourself fall forward into the soft cushions on the couch, stan now fully supporting your bottom half as he pushes in a few more times, bottoming out with a strained grunt when he finishes inside of you.
as soon as he pulls out, you feel disgusting. you’re sticky with sweat and come, shaking and tearing up on the couch. you hear him recollect himself, feel the space next to you dip as he takes a seat, panting. his attention is immediately on you. he places a soft hand on your leg, rubbing gentle circles on your thigh. you sit up shakily, wiping your eyes as he gestures for you to sit on his lap, arms wide. you don’t hesitate to crawl onto him, settling comfortably with your face buried in his neck, whispering teary apologies. he presses a chaste kiss to your forehead, shushing you softly. “s’okay, baby,” he mutters, still holding you close to his chest, “just wanted daddy’s attention, didn’t you?”
you nod, his hand reaching up to brush through your hair. it was true; you weren’t used to him being so busy with work, and it was weird not being around him all day. you had gotten so comfortable in your domesticated daily routine with stan that when he wasn’t there when you woke up, or when you ate, or when you were out running errands, everything felt wrong.
he puts two fingers under your chin, pulling you up to look at him. his expression softens as he wipes your tears, placing a tender kiss to your lips. “i’m not angry, baby. just can’t let you act out without punishing you,”
you understood. this was the first time you’d gone against his rules and, as incredible as you felt during, it was gonna be hard coming down after that. fortunately, stan was there to help you through. “gonna go get a cloth to clean you up, okay baby? be a good girl and stay here,”
he slides you from his lap back to the couch, bending down to press a final kiss to your forehead, then getting up to leave with a proud grin. he’d definitely taught you a lesson.
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fangirltothefullest · 9 months
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Saw your post about the fandom, and wanted to stop by and say hi! It actually was nice to see that pop up on my dash, cause a lot of people are getting really negative about the waits, and I've seen it get kinda nasty. So seeing you be so genuine about enjoying it is really nice to see. I'm always open to talk about Sanders Sides, though, it's still one of my favorite things even after all this time.
ME TOO! I love it so much and I think... well as a Content Creator myself, I know how hard these past few years have been for me and I am not surprised at all that it's been hard for him and his team so I can be impatient and want more content but also... I can't be mad. A little peak into my brain coming and I apologize if that wasn't what you were looking for but-
I had to close commissions and my own patreon because I had to get a job that could actually support me, and had a TON of personal stuff happened to me and my family IRL that affected a lot of my online presence.
As a consequence I don't post art NEARLY as much as I used to and I found myself feeling EXTREMELY upset about it. I used to even livestream art, can you believe it? 8U
And I sat there worrying I'd never post art again because of the burnout and stress..... and I thought everyone who liked my stuff may leave. Because that's happened before- I was a product, a machine to pump out free stuff for people to enjoy, and when the product stopped coming, people just left. That's SO hard to face as a creator, ESPECIALLY when you are trying to GENUINELY provide your art and works pretty much for free and you're already going through traumatic stuff IRL behind the screen.
To see people getting SO angry with the content that HAS been provided hurts me more than the wait and it's not because I put the man on a pedestal it's because I humanized him. I had a shit few years and so did he. Would it have been nice for him to be like 'hey I need to go on a break for a while I'm sorry', hell yeah but I didn't either. I posted every so often about Going Through It and kicking myself privately because I could barely sketch on paper, much less muster the courage to do a digital piece, but I didn't tell people wehat I was going through until later and even then a lot of my life is private and I haven't disclosed stuff because... it's personal, it's private. Online space isn't supposed to be privy to all my secrets and stuff you know?
So when I see people nitpicking the plushie episode because it's also doubled as an ad for the toys, I want to growl and bite and hiss because it's STILL an episode with an actual PLOT; it's not like the crofters ads. FWSA, the cartoon one, is a 24 minute ASIDES video and was LITERALLY given to us during Covid when EVERYTHING ELSE was shut down. Have I Grown is an hilarious video that also somewhat recaps but less episode recap and more personal sides recaps- seeing how their current mental state is. The Wes Anderson one is literally a Season Recap episode. We got a fucking Janus Cover of an OtGW song and they're all in their casual clothes and that song is about pretending everything is ok just for a littler while and it's STILL technically plot related. WTIT is a fucking ASIDES video that's 28 minutes long AND HAS PLOT! AND THE CANON CONFIRMATION OF THE SUSPECTED ORANGE SIDE!!! Incorrect Quotes was a way for us to see them being silly and lighthearted and so is The Sides Need A Nice Day!
I just- that's a lot more content than I think people realize. Yes he has a full team but that doesn't stop the stress or the burnout, especially when half your fanbase is saying how terrible you're being not being faster.
Not to mention the bloopers and the Gavin Sides and the entire episodes of Roleslaying AND a cartoon therapy have all come out AND he was part of a few song collabs too.
I just.... I can't imagine going through the stresses I went through and how much it would hurt me to provide that much stuff and still have people angry. Do you know how much I've done since Covid? Not nearly as much in terms of BIG PROJECTS.
Sorry if this came off as a rant, I'm just so passionate about this show that I love to much! >//<
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denimini · 7 months
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What is going on with Jimin, Jungkook and Jikook?
Warning: long post
I've been a BTS fan since early 2017. Back in the day, I ran this blog here, analyzing a lot of Jikook moments, but life sort of took over, and I stopped having the time for it. However, I never stopped being a fan and observing BTS and Jikook through the years. There's a lot said and written already about the supposed video of JK, but here are my two cents.
To me, the most logical explanation for that video is that this really is Jungkook. The layout of the apartment matches (yes, even the position of the security system, if you have ever watched JKs lives, you'd know that it actually is at his shoulder height, just like in the video), the dog looks like Bam, the couch is the same and this definitely looks like JK. There's also another video of the man in this apartment, alone, shirtless, and having a whole tattoo sleeve on his right arm just like JK. Obviously, we don't know for sure, but it looks like it's him. People say it was filmed in late Feb, early March, and I agree. JK had the same hair then, the outfits look warm, like winter clothes and not to forget, that when JK was stalked in his gym (late of February) there were a lot of fuss about a girl being there with him, so it all checks out in my book.
Now, what the video shows isn't that scandalous. A boy hugging a girl from behind and them playfighting/tickling each other or whatever. It isn't overly explicit. It could mean a lot of things, but it's clear the people are at the very least physically comfortable with each other. It's a short video. We don't know if they're even alone, but it looks like it. There are a number of possibilities for whom this person is to JK: a long-time girlfriend, a casual hook-up, a one night stand, or just a friend.
We'll probably never know for sure. What we do know is that this is an unacceptable invasion of privacy, and the person who took those videos should be sued for all they are worth. I hope we all agree on that, yes?
Now, if this girl is someone JK is dating/has dated/has slept with, where does that leave his and JM's relationship?
In my eyes, as someone who's observed them for literal years now, there's no way JM and JK have always had a strictly platonic relationship. Too much just doesn't add up. Sure, technically, they could be bestest friends with great chemistry, but as someone who is now 30 years old, I don't think I've seen this type of chemistry between people ever be just platonic. At times, it looked too much like sexual tension for it to easily be dubbed as "friendly".
My theory is this (keep in mind these are still just assumptions):
In 2017-2020, pre-Covid era, JM and JK spent A LOT of time together, basically all of it. BTS were super active, they didn't have any breaks. They were always working. Always on tour and doing smth else. JM and JK were pretty young back then (20-24) and this is typically the time when someone discovers their sexuality and starts experimenting, and I believe that at some point they did this together. They were best friends but also had this weird tension and air around them and I think they could've started a physical relationship back then. The members teasing them hear and there about being a couple, also kind of supports this, though of course, it doesn't prove anything.
Contrary to other people, I don't belive they only just fucked. It's very hard to have sex with someone who you are very close to otherwise, who you love and admire as a person, and not catch romantic feelings for them, so I think they did more than fucking. Whether they had a serious relationship or decided not to label it much, due to MS coming up, the group being in jeopardy or other reasons, I tend to think that other than sex, they also had feelings.
Side note: In any case, they were figuring thinks out about themselves as individuals, as well as a pair. I think maybe this is the time JM realized he is definitely bisexual (which he proudly expressed in his photobook of last year in my opinion). Idk what Jk figured out for himself, if anything.
Anyhow, by 2020‐2021 it seemed they had some sort of agreement about what/who they were to each other. At times they could have been on and off. There might have been other people/partners in-between, but I think they were mainly together by this point. It even looked like they lived together for some time. The fact they always took the same car and they were together on JKs birthday night when they first had number 1 on hot 100 sort of proves it. JM's birthday live in 2021 was also sus af (the way he was blushing while mentioning JK and their whole convos, very sus).
I think before Covid they had smth somewhat stable but then Covid hit. Their schedules changed, it was a tough period overall. Suddenly, they were not working and traveling so much, they were staying in SK. I think this was the time things started getting much more real and different. MS was also in the near horizon. Maybe one of them wanted a more committed relationship, and the other wasn't ready. Maybe they were both afraid. Maybe they tried and it didn't really work out. Maybe one finally realized his sexuality and the other had doubs. Whatever it was, the feelings of affection were still there. Chemistry as well. Proof: JM bday live in 2021 was just crazy, the way he blushed when JK was mentioned and the way the spoke to each other... man. Also, the way the were at PTD L.A. The way JK answered questions about JM etc.
So , all that connected them as people was still there, but I think their relationship come late 2021-early 2022 was definitely more unstable. Who knows what happened then. Personally, I don't believe in the theory that they opened their relationship, rather I believe by the second half of 2022, due to whatever reasons, things were simple mostly off between them. I believe they stayed this way all through the second half of the year and at least the first 4 months of 2023. They were friends, their families still loved and supported each other (JK's mom made seaweed soup for JM's bday, which one does for family) but that's about it. They weren't living together anymore, as well.
The beginning of 2023 we saw a very busy JM and a very not busy JK. Sure, they still commented on their welives but it seemed they didn't meet each other that often. Jm was working, JK was at home and occasionally with Tae. Yeah, JK watched a lot of JM content and often invited him over, but he also didn't know when his promotions will be over and it seemed they haven't seen each other for some time and JK was missing JM. I think if they truly were a serious couple back then, they would still have found the time to meet each other no matter how busy one or the other was, especially considering they live in the same city, and it wasnt the case. I don't think JK would have to resort to watching hours of JM's content just to satisfy his need-for-JM thirst, if they were a couple back then.
So, yeah, I think they were not more than friends by this point, for sure, which also ties up pretty well with the timing of the recent leaked video (February-March). To me it seems that JK and JM probably saw other people in that period, at least JK, JM was pretty damn busy then. Maybe they had some serious partners even, maybe just hook-ups here and there. Maybe this was JK's time to explore more of his heterosexual side, who knows. I don't think he stopped caring for JM in some capacity. In fact it kind of looked like he longed for his company but for one reason or another, they were simply not that much in each other's lives in the first quarter of 2023.
But then something weird happened around June-July. First JM is all scratched up from something (presumably Bam) indicating he saw JK and spent time with him. Then Seven came out and JM flew to NY. There they spend a long, fun weekend amid promotions. It wasn't a secret but they seemed to want to keep private and didn't really want to talk about it , judging by the way JK answered the question about JM being in NY as well. JM was practically silent. Then they returned and that welive happened. The one where they openly flirted, JM said he could handle JK naked, JK blushed like a school girl and tried everything in his power to get to JM but JM said "I'm not that easy". That welive. Idk about you, but that welive didn't seem platonic to me at all and if I had been JK's partner at the time, I would definitely be very angry with his behaviour. I don't think JK is disrespectful and a cheater, and neither is JM for that matter, so I believe there's no way any of them had a partner when that welive happened. I simply refuse to belive they are that type of people.
So, my conclusion is they were both single then and something definitely happend in July and NY. They returned somewhat different and they still kind of are. Jk posted pics of NY to Twitter for the first time. Jm shared a pic from then for JKs bday (shirtless, as we all know) and then recently another pic from a boat that could have been from back then, as well. The whole way they're acting offline and online strangely reminds me a lot of the time after their trip to Tokyo, actually. The way JM has been posting about JK very much give me nostalgia about the way he used to post Jikook often in 2017-2018 before he withdrew from social media. But maybe that's just me 🤷‍♀️
Anyway, to finish this long post I will say this. I don't know what Jikook were and are to each other and unless, it is explicitly denied the person in the video is JK, I will believe that it's him. But also, unless it is confirmed he currently has a girlfriend, I will have my doubts. The video is old and in any case, it doesn't prove much other than the fact JK is maybe into women (solely or also into them). This video though doesn't automatically negate everything I've seen between Jikook through the years. In some ways, it confirms what I've been thinking for a long time now. Unless JM and JK personally shut down any rumors about them and deny any romantic connection or confirm a relationship with someone else , I still believe that at some point in their lived their relationship crossed the platonic line.
Whether that was in the past or is currently true, I only can guess, but to me there's no way these two were always, all these years, just only friends.
For now, I will observe how JK, JM and Hybe are acting after the leaked videos and go from there. It will also be indicative.
Peace.
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for-a-longlongtime · 8 months
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On Dieter, Goya's Black Paintings, and Pedro on Talk Art 
Alright y'all, it's Saturday evening, I have nothing better to do (I actually do but I don't feel like it), so welcome to my mini TED Talk about 'how to pay too much fucking attention to the Pedro cinematic universe'. None of this is new, and maybe everybody already knew about this, but I didn't... so here's a nerdy tangent courtesy of googling/wikipedia-ing.
I was reading a Dieter!fic (this one right here by @chaoticgeminate - go read her writing!) earlier today, which refers to the 'Saturn Devouring His Son' painting - that giant mural Dieter is working on in The Bubble:
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(his brush isn't even touching the wall tho, ha)
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The original 'Saturn' by Goya
The fic mentioned its part of 'The Black Paintings', so I got curious and started googling. I'm no art major or expert, so please allow me to just paraphraze the Wikipedia page. 'Saturn' is part of a group of 14 Goya paintings that are called Pinturas Negras/The Black Paintings. They "portray intense, haunting themes, reflective of both his fear of insanity and his bleak outlook on humanity" --this was late in Goya's life, and was connected to several illnesses he had experienced (and the fear of relapsing) and political turmoil in Spain at the time (post-Napolean war, changing Spanish government, etc.
Trivia fact 1: Goya actually made these paintings right on the walls of the Quinta del Sordo (so-called Deaf Man's villa) where he was staying -- so I love that Apatow had Dieter also paint right on the walls.
Trivia fact 2: while Goya was living in this villa, he actually became gravely ill (again) - not by a pandemic obviously, but it's hard to not link that loosely to the COVID period. He had never intended for these 'Black Paintings' to become public; "these paintings are as close to being hermetically private as any that have ever been produced in the history of Western art" (the murals were eventually transfered to canvas by other folks once he had moved out of the villa). Switching back to The Bubble -- I love how the tragic influence of Goya's illness(es) and art/things 'made at home away from the world, not intended for an audience' (so obviously, in a bubble) has that connection to the COVID experience and how many folks were suddenly homebound, along with the burden of illness in many ways (lord knows this all did a serious number on our mental health). In the movie, Dieter and the others do not want to go into isolation again, but that solitude is what eventually led him to painting on the walls in his room. This is not a 'grand discovery' of any kind, but I got a kick out of the parellels once I read up on it - and honestly makes me appreciate the movie a bit more, haha.
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Not happy about another quarantine period.
Alright, more hyperfocusing after the cut:
Some googling led me to a post from last year by @nicolethered (gifs in this post are hers), and she included screencaps of the walls of Dieter's room (during that drug scene), which I hadn't even noticed while watching the movie. Upon taking a closer look, I noticed they're outtakes from other pieces of Goya's Black Paintings! I thought that was really cool, they sure worked on the details with that set (there's one more that's shown in a different shot but I can't exactly figure out which outtake that is):
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First one is a mirror image from Two Old Men Eating Soup and the second one is basically Satan aka 'The Great He-Goat' from the Witches' Sabbath painting. Which IMO makes for fucking hilarious perfection a.k.a. trivia fact 3 -- because we all know about Dieter and his little emotional support goat, LOL. Excellent connection.
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*insert sound bit from Hot Ones interview* : "Just let me love you!"
Anywaaay there's more. The Bubble was shot during Feb 22, 2021 to April 16, 2021, right? Pedro has spoken about how his input in shaping Dieter was mostly regarding his outfits (the Crocs, the robe, etc). But then I suddenly remember the Talk Art interview he had done in 2018, and how he namechecks 'The Dog' by Goya - and lo, guess which painting is actually part of the 14 Black Paintings? Yeap - the dog! So I checked the podcast and he was asked, 'if you could be any painting, what painting would you be?' by Russell. Here is the painting, and below it is what he said on Talk Art:
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'The Drowning Dog' by Goya
"I think… it's a Goya. Yeah, old school. I think it's called 'Dog Buried in Sand' or something like that. It's so… I remember feeling it was such a visual representation of helplessness, in such a… come on, let's all admit that helplessness is a very recurring feeling for many of us, you know what I mean? When it comes to so many things. I guess… I was in Spain, in Madrid, and I was 20. And I went to the Goya museum. What's interesting about it is that the head of the dog is really quite small and sort of adorable, it looks like a stray mutt, and the painting - if I can remember it correctly - is very rectangular. There's so much above him, like the world just seems so big. It's quite incredible, isn't it? I know it's really sad, and sort of dark, and maybe I really like enjoy perceiving myself like..." (He gets interrupted by Russell, and then continues;) "Yeah, he's certainly not dying, it's sort of - it's a moment", (then interrupts himself with;) "Maybe he's totally dying, there's no way that dog is getting out of that. That dog is SO fucked. Anyway, that's the painting that represents my life". (All three of them burst out into laughing.)
If you're still reading this - I am impressed with your dedication to my silly little post, haha. Anyway, I just thought it was so striking that there basically is a straight line from the painting he mentioned in Talk Art to what Dieter is painting in the Bubble. Makes me wonder if perhaps he - or even Russell/Robert - had any input in that part of Dieter's backstory.
Thank you for attending my TED Talk on artistic analysis of Dieter Bravo during COVID, we now resume your regularly scheduled program for Saturday night. 🤪
(Have I been smoking because a local dispensary actually had 'Mando' bud? I sure as fuck have and I blame that for this post.)
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exhuastedpigeon · 9 months
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Han's far too long "I got covid for the first time and haven't felt the house in 6 days Buddie fic rec list"
This rec list is a combo of fics I read for the first time in the last week & fics I reread because they're wonderful and I needed comfort through my fever.
Break Glass in Case of Emergency by Beforeastorm 2,894 words || teen
Eddie’s mind wandered to the red folder, tucked high up in the back of his closet. He recalled back to a conversation he had with Buck, almost a year ago at this point: “It’s an insurance policy; a break glass in case of emergency. A trump card.” “One I really hope we’ll never have to use.” “But if we have to, we’ll be really glad we did this.” When hospital policy doesn't allow Chris, as an unrelated minor, to visit a comatose post-lightning strike Buck in the ICU, Eddie has a solution. Unfortunately, that involves sharing some pretty personal information in a waiting room filled with the 118.
Relationship Advice from Complete Strangers Online by HMSLusitania 3,964 words || Teen
When he gets home for the night, Buck turns to the one source of information that’s never let him down: the internet. He gets as far as opening his laptop and pulling up a web browser, and then he stalls. His homepage, for years now, has been Wikipedia. He doesn’t know how exactly he’s supposed to wiki-search “Is my best friend into me.” It’s not like he really does social media, either. Ever since he bailed on dating apps, he’s sort of tried to avoid other people online. He likes people in real spaces so much more. But where does one go for relationship advice from complete strangers online? Which is how, ten minutes later, he finds himself on Reddit with a shiny new account and username. It takes him a while after that to craft his question for r/Relationships, but he thinks he’s got it pretty accurately conveyed before he hits post. Hi, I’ve never made a Reddit post before and I’m not 100% sure what I’m doing but I need advice and can’t ask anyone in my real life. So, I [30M] have this best friend [34M]…
i got all my sisters with me by ipretendtobesane 6,766 words || teen This fic is so fucking soft and sweet. It quickly joined the ranks of my favourite Buddie fics I've ever read.
Soph to Eddie Hate Club: Hey guys! This is Alex, Sophia’s been a little out of it since Nina was born (she’s doing great, just in some pain and y’all know how weirdly woozy she gets on medicine). Combine that with a lack of sleep, and…well Y’all get it. Anyway, Soph and I wanted to host you guys next weekend. Adriana to Eddie Hate Club: YES I’m packing my bags right now Eddie to Eddie Hate Club: Are Buck and Chris invited? Soph to Eddie Hate Club: I will take any excuse to see that man up close and personal “Hey, Buck?” “Hmm.” “What do you say about a trip to Texas?” (or, eddie's sister has a baby, buck meets the diaz girls, and they're sickeningly in love for nearly seven thousand words)
knock on your door, just like before by rowan_wood 7,513 words || teen
“Here,” Buck had said, practically shoving his phone at Eddie once Eddie had said hello to both Buck and Chris and settled into a chair at the dining table, “I wrote down everything so I wouldn’t forget.” Eddie looked curiously at the screen to find Buck’s note app open to a long, long list of messages. There was a grocery list of things he needed at the top, but it soon devolved into any thing or thought that Buck had while Eddie was gone that he, apparently, wanted to tell him.  or: whenever Eddie's away, Buck writes him a new note, and Eddie pines.
you can start a family who will always show you love by fleetinghearts 8,185 words || Teen
“Yeah, yeah, he’s—he’s my kid, he’s my kid,” Buck tells her, tripping over his words in the effort to get this whole process to hurry the fuck up so he can see Chris. There’s the sound of something hitting the floor from behind him, followed by what might be plastic bouncing off the shiny hospital tiles. The person at the desk looks up in surprise, over Buck’s shoulder, and he turns to look too. Eddie’s standing there, Styrofoam cup rolling at his feet, coffee splattered all down the bottom of his faded blue jeans. The plastic lid of the cup skitters over the tile before coming to a stop a few feet away. He looks like someone punched him in the gut, absolutely shellshocked, something Buck can’t quite read behind the startled expression on his face. or, buck's looking for something, and the diazes let him know he already has it
still by brewrosemilk 9,368 words || teen This fic actually ruined me. I full on sobbed reading it.
For the first time, Buck longs for a bullet wound to treat. Dirt to dig at. A door to break through. Something. There’s nothing. “Your guess was correct, Diaz,” the bomb technician tells them, as he gestures to the orange circle. “You’re standing on a large sensor plate, wired to a detonator. It’s incredibly important that you don’t move. Don’t shift. When you put your weight down, it was like cocking a gun - you take your weight off, this thing is powerful enough to take the entire house with it."  Inspired by Castle, S05E22: Still
brick by spqr 10,154 words || explicit 
The first thing Buck noticed when he walked through the door was the smell of plaster and wet paint. There was a white spot on the wall in the living room, primered but without any color yet, about the size of a man’s fist. Eddie looked sheepish. His knuckles were still bruised, scabbed over but healing. “You were in a coma,” was all he said. “Yeah,” Buck agreed. He knew the feeling.
things you don't say reach me somehow anyway by sibylsleaves 14,279 words || Teen
He writes CHRISTOPHER at the top of the page in capital letters. Underneath it goes BUCK. Then PEPA, CARLA, CHIM, HEN and so on until he has fifteen names listed out. Fifteen people to show his appreciation for. He starts with the easiest name first. or, Eddie tells the family he chose how much they mean to him. All of them except one.
let's build this house (into a home, baby) by withmeornotatall 24,478 words || explicit 
This fic is so good. Different first meeting, but the same wonderful friendship. Christopher is a national treasure. It's a prefect fic.
"Hey, buddy!" he calls out with a grin. "Did you know that octopuses actually is the correct plural form of octopus not octopi?" "Cool." Chris smiles, but it fades just as soon as it appears. Buck dog-ears his page and sets his book down. "Everything okay?" he asks carefully, crossing to the fence. "Yeah, I'm just hungry." Christopher sighs. "Dad burnt dinner. Again." Buck glances through his open back door to the dining table with three mismatched chairs, and bites his lip. He's got no excuse today, the evening sun leaving him lethargic but not exhausted, the hour reasonable. "Hey, I've got an idea." Buck winks at Christopher. "Stay there, okay?" Buck grabs his beer, book and folding chair, setting them just inside the entrance. He makes his way to the front door, stopping at the hallway mirror to fix his curls into something a little more presentable, and walks the few yards down their adjoined porch to Christopher's door. With a deep breath, he raises his hand and knocks. The door swings open a few seconds later, and Buck's mouth goes dry at the sight that greets him (OR: the buddie neighbours au no one asked for)
i see you in my sheets (i see you in my sleep) by elless 24,981 words || explicit 
Eddie kisses him in the kitchen. Bright morning sunshine spills in the window over the sink, picking out the golden flecks in Eddie’s eyes. He cradles Buck’s jaw with one warm palm, and Buck freezes for a moment, startled, before surging against Eddie. He’s still holding a hot mug of coffee that he barely fumbles onto the counter without dropping or spilling all over his shirt. He rakes his fingers into Eddie’s hair and reels him in closer, Eddie’s firm thigh slotted between his. “Eddie,” he pants as Eddie scrapes his teeth down his throat and sucks on the spot over his racing pulse. Eddie hums as he rucks Buck’ve done just about everything else two people can do together; maybe this was always inevitable. OR Buck and Eddie are FWB, act like boyfriends, and are suuuuper dumb and oblivious about everything.
in the night we trust by glorious_spoon 29,220 words || teen
It feels new, and good, and not just because it’s been so damn long since anyone has touched Eddie like this. It’s just—it’s Buck. Of course this is something they know how to do together. They’ve done just about everything else two people can do together; maybe this was always inevitable. - Or: Eddie and Buck start sleeping together when they're all stuck at Buck's place during lockdown. It still takes them almost three years to notice that they're in love.
The Heart Opening Sequence by Leslie_Knope 34,035 words || mature
Eddie’s handsome, that’s obvious, Buck clocked that the second he met him. Part of him still can’t really believe that the guy he was so threatened by at first ended up as his closest friend, which is why these weird twinges are so unsettling. Buck isn’t sure if they’re real, for one, these odd flashes of what it would be like to lean over and kiss Eddie while they’re watching a movie or brush a hand over his back while they’re in the kitchen. And for two, it’s so far out of the realm of possibility that it’s barely worth thinking about.
must be some kind of twist, I could get used to this by soyxunxperdedor 38,753 words || explicit  THIS FIC!!! Accidentally married in vegas??? SIGN ME UP
He doesn’t remember much from last night, even less after the fourth or fifth tequila shot. So he certainly doesn’t remember bringing someone back to his room. He steels himself for the lancing pain and cracks his eyes open. Oh. Oh no. This is either really bad or… Well, not really good, but just. Not really bad, and that’s probably all Buck can ask for it to be. Because Eddie is in his bed, Eddie’s arm is wrapped around his waist, Eddie’s legs are tangled with his. And he has no idea why.
let the world have its way with you by fleetinghearts 54,477 words || explicit  This is the best post lightening strike long form fic I've read. It doesn't gloss over Buck dying/feeling different and instead shows Eddie (and Chris) helping Buck embrace his feelings and grow together. 15/10
“It’s just that—I died,” Buck continues, voice unsteady enough that Eddie wonders if this is the first time he’s acknowledged that out loud. “I died, and there’s so much more. There’s so much more I want to do, things I don’t even know I want to do yet, and I almost had the chance to have and live them taken away. I don’t want to die and regret missing out on everything else, Eddie.” “So let’s make a list,” Eddie says. “Let’s do them.” or, a bucket list that’s really about buck needing to make a change and an eddie who’s ready to do anything to see him fall in love with life again. it takes some crossing off for eddie to realise—the thing at the top of the list in his own heart? it’s been right here all along
a body, a knife, hold steady by bvckandeddie (zukkababey) 67,425 words || mature I'm a slut for a Mr. and Mrs. Smith AU and this one is one of the best I've read.
Bogotá wasn’t Buck’s first international mission—Peru held that title—but it changed just about everything. Because Bogotá was where he met Eddie. Or, Buck and Eddie meet, fall in love, build a life together, and discover they're rival assassins—exactly in that order.
wishing to be the friction by ipretendtobesane 97,200 words || explicit 
Buck and Eddie are straight best friends who start having no strings attached sex. Eddie has a hard time having sex with someone he doesn't trust, and Buck's tired of hookups after being with Abby. Besides, they're both comfortable with their sexuality, and there's nothing wrong with giving your friend a hand. What's surprising is how long it took them to fall into bed together, really. What's entirely unsurprising is how quickly strings start getting attached. or; the straight eddie friends with benefits fic
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luckydragon10 · 2 years
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Kim and Isolation
There's a lot of rage at Kim going around right now (ep 11 of KinnPorsche). And I'm the kind of person who sees everyone swimming in one direction, and it makes me want to swim the other way.
So I started thinking about Kim and trying to get in his head. I put on my writer hat and examined him from a character perspective and a narrative perspective.
What I came up with is that Kim is isolated as fuck.
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Isolation as an Overall Theme
Isolation is a common and useful narrative theme for love stories because it sets up a reversal — the change from isolation to togetherness.
In KinnPorsche, each of the six main characters in the pairings experiences isolation in some way, and to varying degrees.
Kinn experiences the isolation that comes with all the unique pressures that he faces as the heir to the mafia empire.
Porsche, normally very gregarious and social, experiences isolation in his early days as a bodyguard — even with Pete's initial support, he's largely on his own.
Vegas, like Kinn, is an heir and has a family situation that isolates him, and he has a warped perception of the world and people around him. (Macau may be the only exception for him, though we're missing a lot of background and development there.)
Pete experiences isolation paired with vulnerability in his captivity.
Porchay experiences isolation in his family situation, with a deadbeat uncle and a brother who ran off to join the circus mafia.
Kim experiences isolation in his home, in his work as a solo artist, and in his investigation.
Kim "No Man Is Island Except Me" Theerapanyakul
Of the characters, Kim is the only one whose isolation is self-imposed. He's a unique story element in that way.
He's also the only character for whom we've heard inner thoughts (ep 5), because:
We as the audience need to understand those thoughts.
There is no one with whom he would share them aloud.
Narratively, the writers/directors got stuck in a position where they needed to add the "inner thoughts voiceover" trope solely for him, and only in that one place, because of how dramatically isolated he is.
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We don't have concrete facts about why he's making the choice to be so alone, but it's fair to guess he doesn't want the mafia life, he's fucked up about family stuff, and he wants the freedom of movement for his investigations. It's also a good bet that he's a natural (and possibly extreme) introvert.
Change to the Status Quo: Oh Shit, He's Cute
Along comes Porchay, bold as brass and always willing to say exactly what he really wants — aloud even. To other people. TO KIM.
Kim's reaction to the ball of sunshine?
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Lights up like a fuckin' Christmas tree.
Yet if Porchay hadn't been Porsche's brother, the first time they met would have been the last. Kim, even as charmed as he was, would have gone about his life, solo as always.
Plot being plot, Kim reaches out to Porchay strictly for investigative purposes. And then the little sunshiny ball of fluff is creative, sweet, attentive, cute, and endearing... basically kryptonite for a guy as lonely as Kim.
Kim tries to end things multiple times along the way (attempting to leave early from that first session, ghosting) but ineffectively and inefficiently because being around Chay is intriguing and tempting.
Isolation as a Habit
The thing with long-term isolation is it gets to be habit-forming. Remember coming out of COVID? How it was suddenly weird or overwhelming or tiring to be around people again?
Kim's used to being alone, though we don't know how long ago he moved out. But then there's this aggressive ball of Kittisawat sunshine, and that's suddenly also strangely habit-forming. However, this new togetherness habit is conflicting with his old isolation habit. And of course there are other conflicts going on, such as the lying and the guilt, tsk tsk.
Even when he's with Chay, he's isolated to a degree because he can't be open and honest. It's a barrier.
We see Kim repeatedly struggling to process how he feels and failing to come to a conclusion.
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Crisis Time: Isolation as Fall-Back and Self-Defense
Even before Porchay gets kidnapped, Kim is ready to leave a note and run.
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He couldn't say "I love you" back to Chay for various reasons, one of which I believe is because he's uncertain how to love someone else. It's not something he's familiar with doing these days — he's not yet ready to let himself fall in love.
So when things get really ugly with the kidnapping and Big dying, he falls back to the pattern of isolation. It's familiar. It's practically an addiction. He knows how to live that way. To Kim, Isolation feels a lot safer than the vulnerability of giving a shit and loving someone.
I don't think Kim is necessarily trying to protect Chay by hurting him and shooing him away. (Chay is already connected to the mafia and living in the main tower, so that "protection" ship has essentially sailed.) In my opinion, it's a lot less noble than that. I think Kim is running because he feels guilty, uncertain, conflicted, and scared.
Next Up: The Rejection of Isolation
I'm not defending Kim. I'm not apologizing for him. Kim doesn't need me to defend or apologize for him. (He's a strong boy like that.) He's been selfish and self-centered, which are behaviors that come naturally when you're alone too much.
Narratively and for his character development, what Kim needs is the realization that isolation is no longer for him.
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So, Kim? I see you. On a deep and personal level, I get it. Good luck.
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henghost · 3 months
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Twig Liveblog for Arc 11
"too real" of an arc, as plague stories have taken on a special kind of resonance post covid. the plague itself, however, was very interesting. the imagery of red flowers bursting forth from people dying in agony was beautiful, as well as thematically congruent with the rest of twig: there is a potent sort of echo with the stories of the jamies, life flowing from death, ecstasy from torture. it's the circle of life, man....
the bulk of the plot, though, is taken up not by the plague but by running away from the mercenaries, which felt quite wormlike. the line between superweapon and superhero is thin. dog and catcher my beloved! the meeting between them in the bakery where they just start chomping on sandwiches was like the diner scene in michael mann's heat with deniro and pacino, just a few kings at the top of their games, separated only by the razor-thin barrier of the "law." man telling them that gordon had died, gordon who was one of the few people who had made the effort to understand dog--heartbreaking. i hope they end up okay, dog and catcher. a truer bond is hard to find in this story--they deserve to retire and love each other for the rest of time.
the like cynical camaraderie between experiments is really the crux of the matter. what is needed, in my view, is some pan-experimental solidarity. why don't the experiments, the largest, most powerful players on the field, simply eat all the other factions?
i already did a post on sy/jamie but that is the other major component of the arc. they love each other so much 😭 the tragedy of inhabiting sy's best friend's body, the feeling of betrayal, the love despite it all oh my god. tearjerking fr!!!
then the long duncan interlude had several incredible moments. he is really hateable lol but still pretty entertaining. the most grating aspect of his perspective is the way he clearly does not view the lambs as human. ashton et al are just another few dangerous experiments he has to tolerate to advance his career. also, it frames his lust for helen in quite a sleazy light. the detail about how he had to watch helen undress and popped a boner with ibbot watching and ibbot had to be like "😐 unacceptable, please leave" had me fucking dying lmao. i think it also explains lillian's rage (more intense than the other lambs') at him for betraying the lambs: the parallel between duncan/helen and lillian/sy is an uncomfortable one. i think it indicates that lillian feels a lot of guilt and insecurity about her position in society and her position vis a vis the lambs. when lillian and mary see sy again it might just be the most awkward moment of all time. i can't wait.
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acknowledge-reigns · 3 months
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Somebody truly had the nerve to say Roman has never had to deal with or wrestle with injuries/set backs in his career and that he "could never power through like C*dy did with his torn pec". First of all, comparing how these two athletes deal with injuries is big fucking weird but since we're going there and I take my role of #1 Joe Anoa'i defender to heart what I'm not about to do is let y'all set up here on this internet and make it seem as if my Tribal Chief ain't ever fought through shit because this man is a WARRIOR, do you hear me???
(HE'S A TWO TIME LEUKEMIA SURVIVOR SINCE Y'ALL MOTHERFUCKERS LIKE TO FORGET HE KICKED CANCER'S ASS TOO.) Generally speaking, not just that situation but in many others in Joe's life, some of your faves would have folded. (especially those two yt men that run from company to company when they don't get their way) . Really this ain't shade to C*dy, I give him his props for powering through injuries and shit too. Most of these superstars have. And saying some of them would probably fold (hell, I would. Most of us would.) Isn't saying they're weak. I'm saying Roman is a badass on a different level and you can argue with your momma or with the wall on that one, not me.
List of injuries/illnesses known to us throughout Roman's career -
Back + Hip injury 2023 (Sumerslam, v Jey Uso.)
Ruptured Ear Drum 2022 (Survivor Series, v Kevin Owens who surprised him with a spot that was not planned and resulted in the injury. There however is no bad blood between the two.)
Had COVID 2022 (https://www.espn.com/wwe/story/_/id/32974962/roman-reigns-wwe-biggest-star-tests-positive-covid-19-scratched-atlanta-event)
Lingering affects from COVID 2022 (due to being immunocompromised https://www.fightful.com/wrestling/roman-reigns-discusses-his-covid-experience-says-he-still-feels-chest-tightness)
Shoulder/Arm injury 2022 (Wrestlemania 38, v Brock Lesnar)
Reveals Leukemia treatment side effects (including Nausea and arthritis in arms and legs, mentioned in 2019 and 2020 interviews. Ex. https://www.leukaemiacare.org.uk/support-and-information/latest-from-leukaemia-care/inspirational-stories/roman-reigns-wwe-cml-and-me/#:~:text=Previously%2C%20Reigns%20revealed%20to%20the,in%20terms%20of%20being%20sick.)
Knee Injury 2019 (Hell in a cell tornado tag with Daniel Bryan, v Erick Rowan and Luke Harper.)
Second battle with Leukemia 2018
Eye injury, required stitches 2018 (after 6 man tag match on RAW https://www.wrestlingnewsworld.com/wwe/roman-reigns-gets-stitches-raw)
Shoulder injury + Cracked ribs 2017 ( RAW, v Braun Strowman)
Shattered nose + Surgery 2016 ( v Triple H. See attached article https://www.wwe.com/shows/raw/2016-02-22/article/reigns-surgery)
Needed stitches May 2016 (live show, see photos https://www.wwe.com/worldwide/gallery/roman-reigns-receives-stitches-in-melbourne-australia-photos#fid-40042095)
Head Injury that required staples 2014 (https://youtu.be/OYMce1GDiDc?si=KtbVybtoQVr7FKDL)
Emergency surgery for Hernia 2014 (which he wrestled for some time while dealing with, see WWE.com article herehttps://www.wwe.com/shows/nightofchampions/2014/roman-reigns-breaking-news)
This list does not include FCW injuries, football injuries or his 2007 leukemia diagnosis durring which he was unhoused with a child on the way. And these are just the instances we know of!
Say what you will about Roman in kayfabe but do not minimize the struggles Joe has been through or his resilience. And if you're a Roman "fan" buying into the the rhetoric that he hasn't faced any adversity then as my dear friend @love-islike-abomb says, Please "Go whistle in the woods". IYKYK.
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Oh and while we all here...
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Acknowledge him, Bitches ☝🏾☝🏾☝🏾☝🏾.
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traitor-boyfriend · 2 months
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what did you think of spring break. gay stan is canon now basically right
(edit: meant to publish this a while ago and forgot because I have the short term memory of a goldfish now)
This made me realize I never gave my thoughts on the last two episodes. Will do another day. (ron howard arrested development narration: she did not.)
To answer your actual question, I -love- how often an episode plot that tangentially relates either directly or more discreetly to some kind of societal crisis of masculinity and/or gender anxiety includes Stan. obvious examples include Cissy, wherein which Stan is seemingly the only one outside of Wendy and Cartman's Shakespearean twelfth night transgender double bluff who has any semblance of actual "crisis" over the modern conception of gender identity, for seemingly no reason? We don't get a scene of him trying on a dress (*cough* chp9 of abfooc *cough*) or asking "what if I'm not a boy?" but his scenes seem to suggest or imply he is asking those questions privately with himself. Stan also shares a lot of focus in tweek and Craig -- not necessarily that homosexuality as a subject for commentary is 1:1 interchangeable with masculinity *now* but for an older generation, like those of Matt and Trey's age, it certainly is, and there really is no way to create a clear cut distinction between homosexuality and transgenderism as two separate experiences with no overlap despite efforts to on both sides of the culture war. Literally the first season of south park has Stan befriend a character named Big Gay Al and proclaim to the entire town that homosexuality is a natural and beautiful thing against the backdrop of our a-plot in which Stan laments his dog being gay b/c he isn't a 'butch' manly dog. Combine that with Stan's growing romantic disinterest in both Wendy specifically (with an episode -this- season showing just that) and girls more broadly as the show has gone on, goddamn. nevermind the subtext we can project onto on the covid specials where Stan, unwell and suffering the simulated tyranny of marriage to a woman (or, woman-figure. We are talking about a robot here.) Is only able to achieve any semblance of happiness by travelling into his own past to tell himself he needs to forgive Kyle or he will regret it every day for the rest of his life. So.
straight Stan -- 0. Gay Stan -- 1
honestly I think part of this is probably that trey parker in a lot of ways strikes me as someone very much so not a Man's Man, y'know. He's loves the shock value, paegentry, and the spectacle of flirting with cross dressing, homosexuality, and gender non-conformity in his chosen mediums in a very attuned... Dare I say, almost butlerian fashion. and also in a way that only infrequently comes across as judgemental or cruel. Though this is obviously not coming from a queer theorist framework and more just trey Parker's longstanding "if you tell me I can't do this I will just to spite you and also fuck you I can do what I want." attitude.
long story short, yeah. yeah stan's gay. throw up the banner.
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crimeronan · 11 months
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god i know i keep half-tongue-in-cheek saying that my dad is literally belos owlhouse but. i've apparently gotten a little desensitized to Just How Bad He Is (because i have ESCAPED, YAY) & so today has been a delightful adventure.
i wrote an AITA post from his POV about stuff that happened several years ago, bc i was curious about how bad he'd get dragged - i updated the timeline but the Only fact i changed was the reason for his Woes (i blamed COVID economic struggles, which actually makes him a Hero compared to the truth. the truth being so ugly i'm not gonna detail it here good god).
i kept it true to POV by only using things that he actually did say to me at the time about why he was doing the things that he was doing, & blocking out all the relevant info about why the wronged party (me) was so upset, & having him praise his daughter (me) and go "i love her so much :) she's so smart and independent and i would never hurt her :)", & having him half-assedly admit he might've sounded unreasonable/angry/malicious, in a way that was clearly supposed to earn Good Dad points for being so Willing To Admit Imperfections, despite a continued constant doubling-down refusal to answer questions about actual important shit or fix anything ever.
cannot emphasize enough that this was not a fictionalized/embellished/creative POV. the only points of fiction were 1) my dad did not write these things on reddit, he said them to me in real life word for word instead and 2) this happened many years ago, not like... yesterday.
anyway the thread blew up and the commenters were all so kind and genuinely worried for me (as in, the daughter) and offering so much help that i hopped on a diff account to be my past self so i could reassure people i'm okay & had a plan in motion for gettin' the hell outta dodge. because i felt REALLY BAD that they didn't know i..... did in fact get out. people were so nice it made me actually fucking cry jesus CHRIST. i had in fact perhaps forgotten that these things were all as bad and worrying as they were
now. this is all a very serious and harrowing-sounding prelude to the actual point of this post, which is. a bullet list of some of my FAVORITE FUCKING RESPONSES. revel in these with me i had so much fucking fun. i have taken DOZENS AND DOZENS of screenshots to peruse whenever i need a healthy dose of Perspective
here they r:
you are CARTOONISHLY EVIL?
HOLY ABUSE BATMAN
DO BETTER. RIGHT NOW.
did you even listen to yourself writing this. HOW
there's something seriously wrong with you. like on an intrinsic unfixable level
hey this happened to me too! my parent died and i had a party about it btw
your daughter is never going to speak to you again after this
(note from the future: yeah)
you're going to act confused and sad when she goes no-contact aren't you
(NOTE FROM THE FUTURE: HE SURE FUCKING IS)
i think you are creating your own problems and then getting mad at them. maybe instead you could not do that
is this ragebait. i can't imagine anyone this horrible actually existing
this isn't ragebait. i can tell this isn't ragebait because I Know This Kind Of Man So Intimately
you are the asshole on literally so many levels i'm going to write a 15 paragraph response line-by-line dissecting everything wrong with you
are you aware that you're lying or are you literally this incapable of 2 seconds of honest self-reflection
i need to donate to a gofundme for your daughter right now immediately
(note from the future: i am not going to scam people by pretending a long-done sitch is a current emergency on gofundme. have no fear.)
wow. okay i'm gonna go hug my mom and thank her for not being you
you are Actually Literally Empirically the Actual Literal Worst Parent who has Actually Literally Ever Existed
HOW FUCKING DARE YOU????
WHO DO YOU FUCKING THINK YOU ARE.
I AM A 57-YEAR-OLD MOM OF FOUR ADULT CHILDREN AND THE MERE THOUGHT OF DOING ANY OF THE THINGS YOU HAVE DONE HERE MAKES ME PHYSICALLY NAUSEOUS
these vibes are so skeevy. leave her the fuck alone????
along with ASTONISHINGLY accurate inferences about exactly what was happening with the daughter (me) in all the missing missing reasons & like..... exactly how the situation was So Much More Ugly And Horrifying than an innocently confused i'm-so-well-intentioned dad-POV post would have you believe.
so. anyway. that was literally the most validating experience i've ever had in my entire life. i know i've said he's a bad guy before but i also always forget just how far beyond the pale he is. like wow that was. that was not a normal average human experience to have growing up huh.
IN CONCLUSION.
if you guys are ever wondering why i am the way that i am about, like........ anything....... everything....... whatever......
just remember.
i was raised by belos owlhouse.
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dc-polls · 5 months
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"That Really Happened?!" DC Comics Tournament
Entry Index
The submission form is officially closed and all the entry posts are drafted, so over the next week expect eight individual posts (without polls) to go up per day. Feel free to add on any propaganda for others to find in reblogs or comments. When we start the tournament, polls will link out to these entry posts for reference. Edit: Find the bracket HERE!
The list:
Justice League Doom Patrol Inflation Art
Supergirl gets romanced by her horse
Superboy gets the personality of Hitler
Sentient Music Note Saves The Day With The Power of… Gay Love?
Superman's Sentient Excised Tumor with Daddy Issues
Wet and Wild
Superman marries Supergirl
What if Space Jam but instead of fun, it's with Batman and it's horribly depressing?
3 Year Old Lian Harper Breaks Vandal Savage's Thumb
Black Mask Wears…er….
Jimmy Olsen Fucked Talia al Ghul
Submission Witheld Due to Copywrite
Can the real pol manning please step up?
Domestic Abuse Ghost Possession
Batman's dad tries to ruin his life
Mal Duncan gets punched in the dick by an Angel
Islamophobia Run Amuck (Joker Becomes Iranian Ambassador)
Superboy Has Two Daddies
Batman gives a guy ALS
So I Married a Protean and No One Told Me
This angel centaur is a genderfluid lesbian
Black Manta kills Aquaman's biological son, Aquaman tries to kill his adopted son
Wally Mobius Manhattan West
Animal Man discovers the Fourth Wall
Superman and Big Barda do a porno
My Favorite Same-Sex Couple in DC Comics is Technically Bestiality and Metaphorically Incest
Snowflame, The Supervillain Powered by Cocaine
Halloween Costume… of Death!
Superboy-Prime Punches Time
Jason Todd: Tentacle Monster (Tentatodd)
"Not Exactly Romeo": Gorilla Mommy Issues and Other Tales
Subway Puritans
Catwoman and the Penguin Cure COVID And Run Away Together
Shvaughn/Sean
Zachary Zatara Has Dead Twins
Baseball Game to Save Two Worlds
Schrödinger's Pregnancy
Green Arrow hunts humans for sport
Sexual Assault Is A Superpower, Apparently
Bob Haney Doesn't Know Who Wonder Girl Was Supposed to Be
Kon-El Got Enslaved By Furries (And It Led To Pearl Harbor 2!)
The Flash Meets Fidel Castro
Metron and Swamp Thing go for a ride
Hallucinagenic Party Balloons (for your own good)
Rock Turns Man Gay
The Earth-Saving Alien Dick
Alien Invasion and the Time-Travelling Boomerang
Lex Luthor Stole 40 Cakes (And That's Terrible)
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olderthannetfic · 1 year
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Speaking of fetishization and all that jazz, recently the term fujoshi came up in real life for me and a friend asked me what it meant. For transparency I’m only 25, didn’t really fall into fandom until covid. Essentially I said it was a japanese term sometimes used in fandom so it depends who you ask. It could be 
Rotten women: this is the most technical translation and I’m pretty sure the actual word is a pun about rotten eggs or something. It means rotten as in spoiled, as in “spoiled for marriage” 
A derogatory term for women who are ruined for marriage because they like gay porn 
Women who likes gays porn 
Women who like BL/boy love. The male equivalent is fudanshi. BL is gay mlm romance genre for manga. GL is for girl love, but I think GL is less popular of a genre/not really a thing. I’m pretty sure the porn equivalent is yaoi for gay porn and yuri for lesbian porn(still talking about manga/anime) but I could be wrong. BL and yaoi might mean the same thing I’m not sure. The important part here is fujoshi is for women who like BL and fudanshi is for men who like BL. This is the most correct term unless someone is trying to use it as an insult. I’m pretty sure this is what comes up when you google it. 
Straight women who fetishizes gay men
Transphobic term for a trans man that actually just a “straight women who fetishes gay men” 
(me still talking to my friend) 
Now if you’re wondering why all this exists we need to go back to the early 2000s and I’m pretty sure 4chan. If I’m right, fujoshi already meant rotten women and was used to describe a woman who was ruined for marriage, but around this time it started being used specifically against women for liking gay porn/ BL manga. An intersection of misogyny and homophobia where women aren’t just ruined by jacking off, but even more ruined if they jack off to gay porn. Oh no the horror! How will women ever marry straight men if she masturbated to gay men? She is now ruined for straight men. I find this whole thing absurd, but honestly I forget that people “aren’t supposed to even masturbate” before marriage. Got to keep yourself completely pure I guess. Like I understand the concept of not having sex before marriage(even if I really don’t agree) because I grew up hearing that but the idea that you shouldn’t even masturbate or you’ll be ruined is so stupid to me it makes my brain short circuit. And of course it's misogynistic as all hell. At this time it's a Japanese term used in Japan against Japanese women and it's later reclaimed by Japanese women. Reclaimed as in “wait you guys can have porn and be horny but we can’t!? Well fuck you then I am rotten woman and you can go fuck yourself” At least thats what I think they mean when they say its a “reclaimed word” All I know is that its a misogynist term used against japanese women then reclaimed by said women. This is when “it just means women who like BL definition starts” 
Short time later it slowly but surely gets used in western fandom by people(mostly women) who ship mlm and by women who like BL and in the latter case it literally means that. This is when “it means a woman who fetishes gay men '' crops up Now I wasn't around at this time and there's a lot of mud throwing and shit when people talk about early tumblr and shipping culture. From what I can tell lots of time it was just used as an insult against people who shipped gay stuff, but there were women who would act gross towards gay men. My opinion is that is kinda like lesbian porn. I don’t give shit if someone like lesbian porn. I give a shit if someone is gross to me personally, like a guy wanting to watch me giss my friend, but its non of my business what kinda porn someone likes. What a weird thing to give a fuck about. And shipping isn’t even always porn! Lots of times its just porn, but lots of times its just about the most interesting relationship on screen which normally isn’t the romantic one. I have a whole theory that the most popular ships being between friendships not romantic leads is because romantic story lines aren’t great. Take zuko and katara vs aang and katara. Zuko and katara have a whole arc where they learn to trust each other and we see their relationship grow and change, but with aang and katara we mostly only watch them crushing on each other which is just not as interesting. 
I said more about how the term gets pretty transphobic and how fetishization is a good criticism lots of times but i’m pretty sure I’m out of words lol 
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腐女子 is a pun on 婦女子. They're both 'fujoshi'. The 'fu' character means 'rotten' or 'fermented' as in tofu: 豆腐.
English-speaking antis are just morons about language along with everything else and completely misrepresent this word.
Yeah, it was 2chan crying that girls liked something other than them and then women being like "Joke's on you: I'm proud of that".
(In general, insecure douchebags dislike their partners masturbating because they foolishly assume that if a partner has zero experience, they won't be measuring the douchebag against anything. In reality, you can tell if sex was bad without anything to compare it to.)
BL is a genre term for m/m stuff aimed at an assumed female audience. It tends towards romances, but that's not the definition AFAIK. I imagine that women who like gei komi probably also call themselves fujoshi, but the point of the 'fudanshi' term is to denote men who like the "for girls" stuff, not just gei komi.
Is GL used much? I usually see queer women using 'yuri' to talk about f/f manga.
You can drop that "porn equivalent" nonsense though. Aside from some English-language fanfic, there has not been a consistent terminology for softcore vs. hardcore. Both 'BL' and 'yuri' can cover the full spectrum of content.
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