Mr. Darcy: “You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.”
Elizabeth Bennet, who prides herself on her ability to observe others’ characters, and who thought for months that Mr. Darcy hated her as much as she hated him:
Okay so I don’t know anything about Pride and Prejudice, okay, I’ve just seen the movie a bunch of times
But I was listening to the Queer Movie Podcast talk about « the problem of Lydia » in an episode reviewing an AU version, and it basically comes down to what her storyline should be in a modern remake. Should she still elope? Should it be a sex tape scandal? Or what?
And I was thinking well, if Mrs Bennet’s insistence for her daughters to have a good future in this modern AU is about getting high paying jobs and going to university, then obviously Lydia should get sucked into an MLM! And Whickam could just be a conman who sorts of floats from MLM to MLM and he brought her in.
She thinks she’s found the infinite money cheat and brags about being a « small business owner » to her sisters. Everyone else is like « oh no, here goes her finances and reputation! ». Mrs Bennet is hovering between « should I torpedo our social relationships by pressing every last family acquaintance to attend sale parties, or should I act like her business is blooming and she doesn’t need help to maintain face? » then Mr. Bennet goes « well it will be good for her to fail and learn a lesson » which she reacts to by going « absolutely NOT none of my girls will FAIL and besides it’s good to have entrepreneurial spirit! » so she pays for Lydia’s starter kit and starts planning sales parties and all the other daughters are like 😬😬😬 « no way mom I’m not asking my facebook friends to buy that stuff are u kidding »
And then the resolution of that whole story arc is when Elizabeth opens a cupboard at Darcy’s house and a bunch of essential oils fall out and it turns out he’s a huge pushover and Lydia has only been staying afloat because he’s been buying her stuff even though he has no idea what to do with it
(He also has a bunch of leggings from when his sister also got involved in an MLM)
Elizabeth Bennet telling Darcy how Lydia’s run off with Wickham: “I have not the smallest hope. She is lost forever, and our whole family must partake of her ruin and disgrace.”
Darcy, trying to politely leave so he can secretly find Wickham and kick his ass: