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chrissturnsgirlll222 · 2 months

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second, never first

PLEASE READ WARNINGS

chris x fem!reader

summary - you grew up hating one guy all of high school but suddenly become friends, but as time goes on feelings develop, only its one sided.

warnings - swearing, kissing, use of y/n, mention of family issues, mention of domestic violence (NOT BETWEEN THE MAIN COUPLE), BOYS (no smut… for now lol)

word count - 2k+

a/n: this part of the story contains a scene involving domestic violence so please dont read if that is a topic that triggers you! also this part is taking place 2 weeks since the last. also i made it a little lengthy for you all <333

NOT PROOFREAD

i was fast asleep when i heard a crash from downstairs over the show i have playing to fall asleep. instantly getting up i slipped on a robe and slowly walked to my steps.

growing up in the house hold i did meant i had to be in constant fight or flight. i stood at the top of my steps with my phone in hand. looking down at it, the time reading 12:34.

“you need to learn to keep your fucking mouth shut, i am threatening you and your daughter. ever try to leave me and i will have both pf your heads.” i heard my dad yell from downstairs, my mom sobbing. common occurrence from my house hold.

“mom” i say my voice cracking up as i walk down stairs. “y/n go the fuck upstairs now.” my dad screams standing over my mom as shes sitting on the floor with both hands on her cheek as if she was just punched and her throat red. i knew my parents argued all the time but i never saw them get violent.

“i will do it.” holding my phone up i type in 911.

“sweetie you know i would never be violent, your mom just needs to be talked to like a baby since she has double left brain cells.” he switches up his tone.

“now i wont repeat myself, go to your fucking room.” he growls.

tears pool in to my eyes as i turn around.

my vision gets clouded with tears as i make my way to my room. immediately breaking down once i get to my room. feeling scared in your own house is one thing but feeling unsafe is another. i cant trust either of my parents to keep me safe anymore.

turn on my phone i call the one person who i can trust with my life, chris.

ring ri-

“hey kid whats up.” he answers. i dont say anything as i am hyperventilating, crying and shakily breathing trying to calm myself down. “y/n?” i hear him say, “chris” is all i can reply and i am sobbing on the other line of the phone. “where are you?” chris asks in a concerned tone, “i- im home.”.

“whats wrong why are you calling?” he questions. “i cant- i cant be here.”.

“im on my way kid, give me a second here ok?”

“mhm” i reply.

he hangs up and i slowly take deep breaths. im not one to cry often but after school the other day ive been crying for 2 weeks straight it feels like. i dont know if chris would mind but i start frantically packing a bag with clothes and things i need for tomorrow morning. i cant be here in this house with them.

i knew in the back of my mind i shouldn’t leave my mom alone but i just couldn’t bear to hear any more crashes or slams now that i know things have gotten physical.

i sit on the floor in front of my door still sobbing as i just started and me and chris’ texts waiting for-

wednesday 12:57am

chris: here

waiting for that.

i open my window not caring to be quiet as i slip through it. sliding it shut and carefully climbing down the stairs of the treehouse my father built for me when i was a baby. probably the only thing ill ever be grateful for from him.

i wipe my eye and nose trying to compose myself while walking up to chris’ truck. opening the back door first and throwing my bag in to the back seat and then making my way to the passenger side. climbing up to the seat and buckling myself in. a few tears still streaming from my face.

“y/n what happened.” chris asks in a quiet tone. the question making everything flood back in to my head and i breakdown again. i bring my hands up to my face and cry into my hands. “it cant be that bad kid whats wrong.” he says with concern. “its worse.” i reply. “can we p- please go to your house. i- i cant be hear any longer.” i ask through choked sobs. “of course.” he puts the truck in drive.

the drive is quiet, the sound of my crying and heavy breathing being the only sound coming through the vehicle.

we get to his house and he immediately gets out and goes to grab my bag from the bag and then opening my door. i sniffle and smile at him thankfully.

once i enter his house its fully of joy. warm lighting and happiness filling the walls. i stand in the door way shivering as im in a big shirt and sleep shorts with sneakers on in the middle of winter. chris comes in after me with my bag over his shoulder and closing the door behind him and locking it. “cold?” he smiles and i nod rubbing my arms.

i look around his house for a minute, “cmon” he nods towards the stairs and we start walking up them to his room. we get to his room door. he walks over to his bed turning on the white led strip lights he has and walks back to the door. “hey go sit down kid ill be right back.” i nod in response and walk over to his bed. “hey y/n is gonna sleep here tonight.” i hear chris say, his voice is muffled slightly and i hear matt and nick ask “why?”.

“i dont know she just called me crying and she wont speak, i think something happened at her house.” he replies and walks back in.

going to his closet he grabs a hoodie and tosses it to me, “thank you.” i sniffle and smile putting the hoodie on immediately feeling warmer. he walks over to his bed crounching down in front of me.

“talk to me kid, what happened?” he asks softly, “was it your parents?” he adds. i close my eyes as streams of tears flow from them. my not answering was an answer for chris. he bows his head down shaking it and letting out a breath. “how bad was it?” he looks up at me.

“bad enough for my mom to be crying on the floor with a bloody nose and a bruised neck.” i reply and wipe nose. chris’ face fills with concern as i cry into my hands.

he takes my hands and removes them from my face starring at me with my runny nose and red eyes. i move to stand up and he does the same, “chris im sorry i shouldnt even be telling you th-“ i am paused with his arms coming around my head in to a hug. i melt into his touch burying my face into his chest and hooking my arms under his. i hold on to him for dear life and sob.

“im sorry.” i keep repeating as he hugs me. “stop it. none of what happened is your fault ok? your dad is a piece of shit stop apologizing.” he comforts as he gently rubs my back. the world goes quiet as i hold on to him, everything seemed to do that when i was with chris. i pull away still holding on to his arm “chris you have no idea how grateful i am for you.” i smile fiddling with his fingers. he smiles and kisses me, “shit sorry. bad timing, im awful.” he blurts as he immediately pulls away putting his hand up to his forehead. i wipe my nose again, “its ok. never apologize for that.”

our friendship as of now felt different. we are best friends that are fake dating but occasionally kiss when no ones around. i want to ask him what this means but im afraid it will ruin what we have. so i stay quiet as he leans into me again. i go on my tip toes and grab either side of his face into a long sweet kiss. pulling apart we both sit down on his bed and get under the sheets inches apart.

both of us laying face up but chris is on his phone.

thinking about my night i wonder what i would do without chris. having him as my best friend was the biggest blessing i could have asked for. even though i was enduring the roughest two weeks of my life chris always managed to to make my rocky world a still calm path.

as i think about him i instinctually move closer to him wrapping both of my arms around him. “whats this for?” he asks looking down and me and raising him arm for me to come in, as i can hear him smiling in his voice.

“i just am in l-, i just love you so much you are the only thing that helps me constantly.” i correct myself. he chuckles and shuts his phone off grabbing his tv remote. turning on a show on a low volume and shutting off his leds.

with his free hand he slips it under his hoodie thats on me and lightly starts scratching my back. i hum at the feeling closing my eyes. “that feel good?” he says in a quiet voice. “mhm” reply lightly nodding my head thats buried in his shoulder now. the low hum of of the show playing, my comfortable position cuddling with chris, plus my exhaustion and his hand scratching me made my tired eyes even more intense.

i fall asleep happier than i was an hour ago and its all thanks to chris.

chris pov

the feeling of her breathing against my side is more calming than anything i could describe. her fragile body is fast asleep on me with her leg over mine and her arms around my neck as i continue to lightly draw shapes on her back.

i cant believe what she endured tonight let alone it being a normal occurrence for her parents to argue. she told me about them fighting before and she always said it got intense but i have never seen her this emotional. i feel happy knowing that she can trust me in such a vulnerable state.

she hums in her sleep nuzzing her head impossibly closer to me and i just admire her as she does so. i just wish our current situation could be more than it is but bringing that up would change everything and commitment to another person is like holding a new born. you have someones full trust and life in your hands never knowing if their going to fall out.

ill take what i can get as we are closer than we have ever been tonight. watching her sleep is the most beautiful thing ive ever come across.

her dark hair lays out on her back as i can smell her vanilla scented shampoo that she told me was way to expensive for what she would normally pay. my hoodie that fit her in the most adorable oversized way. her sleep shorts that are peeking out from the covers that slightly show her skin. and her cold finger tips against my neck, the feeling of them almost lulling me to sleep.

i continue to scratch her back even though she is already asleep and kiss the top of her head which i wouldn’t have the courage to do if she was awake.

“im so in love with you kid, i just have fear of making that real. it would ruin everything. i just wish you were awake for me to tell you, but it would be selfish to take you as mine you have so much love to give.” i mumble whispered against her head just seconds before i fell asleep

thanks for reading xx

taglist: @sleepysturnss @blahbel668 @alorsxsturn @w4nnabeurs @junnniiieee07 @waydasims @matthewloverr @bitchydragonparadise @matthewsturnioloswifey @iloveneilperry @stunza @realuvrrr @jennss23 @tubl-mc @lilsstvrn

a/n: pls send thoughts in the comments. also i know this is a heavy topic to cover so my dms are open if anyone needs to talk. love you all🩷🩷

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janetsboys · 10 months

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How did you know?

✿ characters: carl grimes x peletier!reader (6 years after his death)

✿ A/N: haven’t been there in a while !

✿summary: you’re carol’s daughter, sophia’s twin sister, you grew up with carl and got together before he died. now your adoptive little brother doesn’t know what his feelings are towards the whisperer girl and you usually give good advice soooooo

✿warnings: mention of death

english is not my first language, i make mistakes <3

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✿ ✿ ✿

You were both at the Hilltop, this is where you lived. You had just hit 21 and had already been through 6 years without Carl.

Your mom and your step father that was just like the father you never had brought you guys here for a while, especially Henry, you were kinda just there to look after him.

“Hey (Y/N), you got a second?” “Hi, yeah what’s going on?” your adoptive brother walks to you all nervous.

You knew about the whisperer girl that Daryl interrogated, you didn’t know the whole story about her but you knew Henry got close to her and to be honest, you felt like this was none of your business, still worried about your little brother.

Then her mother went to get her back and she left, you knew it hurt Henry but you couldn’t really do anything about it.

You step out of the nursery you were reorganizing and you guys sit down together,

“Are you okay? You look pale Hen” you said worried he’d be sick. You kinda developed a phobia of sick people, seeing Carl after the bite kinda stayed in your mind.

“I’m alright don’t worry. I just- you know the girl that just left, i really think we, i don’t know.” he tried to find the words desperately.

“Did you fall for her?” you said smiling. “I don’t know that’s why I’m here. Do you think she’s worth it?”

“Worth what? Risking your life for her? I don’t think a lot of people are worth your life Henry.” he was exactly the age Carl was when he died. You’re very overprotective of your little brother.

“If i love her then she is, yeah?” he stared into your eyes agitating his hands. “Do you love her?” you suddenly lost your smile.

“How did you know you were in love?” that one hit you right in the face. Your brother knew about the boy you loved, he also knew you never found love again afterwards, at least you didn’t allow yourself to.

But you didn’t talk about it much, you immediately shut yourself up when someone tried to talk about it. I think the only one you allowed to ask about Carl was Henry, cause he reminded you of him sometimes, he had a kind heart like Carl did.

When he asked you this, you gulped and you thought about it, you slowly fell in love with Carl while you were growing up together, the real day you realized was the day you arrived to Alexandria.

You had big trust issues because of the terminus and all the crazy shit that happened to you in the past years.

You and everyone else were sleeping in the living room of one of the houses Deana gave y’all. You were laying in a sleeping bag on the floor right next to Carl.

Everyone was settling their “bed” in the room and you guys were already laying next to each other, “Do you think you’ll manage to sleep tonight?” he asked you nervously playing with the bag’s zipper.

“I think so, i feel safe with everyone here and i know my mom or Daryl are certainly not gonna sleep so we’re alright i guess.” he nodded but didn’t seem convinced.

You wanted him to relax and finally get to sleep under a roof, sort of safe. Your instinct told you to put your hand on his and you immediately did, he stopped fidgeting the zipper and looked at you.

“You finally get a real night sleep, at least tonight, it’s been so long. Look at this house, we talked about this remember? How we missed our old houses? This one kinda looks like mine, maybe it’s not safe here but at least this one night, people are doing the job for us.“ you looked at the adults of the room saying this, Carl followed your look.

He seemed more relaxed at that moment, when you guys stared at each other and when he started soothing your hand with his thumb, it was just the two of you and you finally put words on your feelings, you were very much in love.

✿ ✿

“I don’t think i could’ve done this without you, (Y/N), i couldn’t have been the only kid. Without anyone to talk to, someone who understands.” he looked so tired.

“I’m glad i’ve got you too.” you smile turning to look at him while he was facing the ceiling. You looked at him closely, he was like, the most beautiful boy you had ever seen.

You kept looking at him for a while, everyone treated you like adults and you had to behave like ones but when it was just the two of you you could finally be your age.

You could laugh and talk like actual 14 then 15 year olds.

✿ ✿

When everyone headed to sleep, at least for some of you, Carl decided to get his sleeping bag closer to yours when the lights were down so he could hold you in his arms the whole night.

At first you thought he did this to reassure you but rethinking about this, Carl did this to reassure himself. To know someone was there.

When you fell asleep that night, you knew you were going to love him for the rest of your life. And you’re convinced he realized he was in love with you right at the same moment.

✿ ✿

When you get back to Henry after this split second of reflection, he’s desperately waiting for an answer.

“Well, when i realized i felt safe around him, i could lay my head on his shoulder to fall asleep as if i was in the safest home in the world. That he was the one who understood me and that i understood too. When i realized i could calm him down with my words because he truly cared about what i had to say. Because he cared and i cared. Because he looked after me and i looked after him.”

Henry was paying so much attention to your words.

“He wrote me on his death letter, you quote him, “I knew that wherever i would go, i would find my way back to your arms, back to the house we built for each other. I know that someday, i’ll walk in our little house again and i’ll find you waiting in a sleeping bag.” if she feels like a safe home to you. You’re in love.” your eyes were watering of course.

“I don’t know if she loves me as much as you love Carl but, i think i love her. And if i’m right, i’m losing her right now.” he had glowing eyes, you had a feeling he was in love with her.

You pulled him into a comforting hug; “Please, Henry, do what you gotta do but i beg you to stay safe and think before you do something sweetheart.”

You held him so tight into your arms “Promise me, Hen.” you told him a tear rolling down your cheek. “Promise me.” you said again.

“I promise you, (Y/N)” you let go of your strong hold and kiss his forehead, hands holding his face.

“I love you, and i have a feeling you’ll really see him again one day.” he smiles down at you.

“I love you too, i love you so much.” you let go of his face and watch him walking away, not knowing what he would do.

✿ ✿

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sorry for the long absence i’ve been through some serious shit omg

hope you guys enjoyed that tell me what you think love y’all <3333

#carl grimes #carl grimes x reader #carl grimes x y/n #carl grimes x you #reader insert #fanfic #x reader #twd carl #carl grimes fluff #carl come back please

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the-pale-goddess · 2 months

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Hi hildee!! Missing you here. I was feeling angsty and thought, What would be the reason for Ethan and Tiffany to divorce (cheating can't be the answer). I know it is not possible, but let's imagine a parallel universe where they did. What is the plausible reason behind it? And how will they navigate their lives since they work at the same place? Will they find someone else and move on, or at some point in the future, will they give their marriage a second chance?

Ahhh, loveliest Anon, I miss you too—horribly so! Can’t thank you enough for still thinking of me and E&T ❤️❤️❤️

It’s common knowledge that I live for angsty AUs, but I must admit that your ask inspired a disgustingly fluffy fic idea first ksdjksjdksj Your power, hello?! I couldn’t be more grateful because you helped me settle on a quite important canon HC I couldn’t figure out for the longest time! I wish I had more space to pursue this tooth-rotting fluff…Sadly, with my poor health and everything going on in my life, it seems impossible at the moment.

Still, you’re waiting for angst galore, and I’m here to deliver…

I received a similar ask in the past, and I still stand by my answer—I can’t think of any circumstance that would break them up. Canonverse E&T go through a pretty solid character development; both of them worked on their personal issues and unresolved past traumas, finding inner wisdom and integrity so crucial in overcoming any obstacles that could endanger their relationship.

However…You made me ruminate on the topic again. What if...They would somehow...Skip this long and difficult process? I can picture (1) particularly heart-wrenching scenario in which divorce would certainly happen 👀 As you can imagine, anything that had the power to dissolve their bond and force them to separate must be huge and tragic.

I feel terrible even thinking about this entire AU…So buckle up! I’ll try to paint the scene and address your questions. Please, don’t hate me ksdjfkdsjfksj

TW: neonatal death

Tiffany was 38 when she got pregnant for the third time. Though it was a dangerous gamble, E&T put their trust into medicine and hoped for some luck. Unfortunately, the nightmare possibility became a horrifying reality: she developed preeclampsia. At first, the danger seemed contained; both the mom and the baby were closely monitored and taken care of. But her condition suddenly worsened, the severity of disease calling for a premature delivery.

While Tiffany was fighting for her life, Ethan had no choice but to make an impossible decision—a decision he reached with zero hesitation. He wouldn’t risk losing the love of his life for a 60% survival rate a baby born at 24 weeks would have. Despite receiving the best possible treatment in the NICU, the little one didn’t survive the night.

While canonverse E&T would certainly navigate through such a traumatic event with unwavering mutual support and dedication to recovery, AU E&T would spiral into the darkness. Instead of making an effort to communicate properly and listen to each other, trying to understand those conflicting emotions raging inside them, they would focus on the misery, fuelled by those underlying personal issues they failed to address back when it was expected.

Gravely depressed, Tiffany was furious with Ethan’s decision. She thought he should have tried to save the baby no matter the cost. It was obvious that the loss she suffered clouded her judgment. If given the choice, she would have to agree with Ethan. She studied the case obsessively every day, went through all the possible outcomes, and the baby truly stood no chance. But she could be saved; she had to fight for her two other children—the ones that already had a life, the ones counting on her, trying to grasp what happened. That was perhaps the essence of her anguish: she had no choice, no say in this, no chance to meet her tiny daughter, to say goodbye. She couldn't fix it. Grief poisoned her mind in ways she could never predict.

Ethan was too fixated on his own sorrow and the absurdity of his wife’s resentment to actually see past her pain and empathize with her extremely fragile state. The fact that she was so willing to leave him and orphan their children for a slim chance of saving a fetus? He couldn’t understand her reasoning. He wouldn’t understand her reasoning. Yes, the loss affected him too, it affected all of them. But there was no other choice. She had to see that, right?

The tragedy struck them in separate bolts, and they landed on different paths, too consumed by their own agony to meet half-way and reconcile. Inevitably, the connection between them began to dim and they grew apart. With no emotional support from Ethan, Tiffany became distant as she struggled to get better. Ethan fell back into the old patterns and put his emotional defense back up high. He started spending the majority of days at work, neglecting not only Tiffany, but also NJ and Letty.

Every attempt to patch things up led to cruel arguments and blame-shifting. Eventually, Tiffany recognized it all went too far and saw only one solution to their problems: she filed for divorce and full child custody. After a short yet intense custody battle, they reached an agreement that allowed Ethan to have the kids for the weekend.

As soon as the divorce became final, Tiffany and the children moved to NYC (no surprise here, I guess kdjfksfjksfj). Ethan would visit them most of the times, but on occasion Tiffany would fly the kids to Boston and spend the weekend there, strolling through the city with old friends.

NJ was 9, and Letty was 6 when the divorce happened, so I imagine it was unbearably tough for them to process, especially with all the mess happening prior. But they’re the kind of troublemakers that would 100% come up with a genius plan to Parent Trap E&T and bring them back together lol Would they be successful? Well…Only if both Tiffany and Ethan went to therapy and dealt with their inner problems first. Then, I presume, they would be able to have a heart-to-heart with each other and see if there are still some remnants of trust and compassion left in the ashes of their relationship. Despite all the bitterness and trauma, the love between E&T remains intact, so it all boils down to whether they would allow themselves to open up to the frightening idea of reconnection and the risk the second chance carries.

Ooof…That was extremely painful to conjure up and felt even worse as I was writing it down ksdfjksjgksj Nevertheless! Thank you for the ask, dear, I'm sending you lots of love ❤️

#i didn't proofread this #i wrote this with tears streaming down my cheeks kjfksfjs #angsty angst and AU shenanigans #ethan ramsey #ethan x mc #ethan ramsey x mc

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mcu-fan-fics-blog · 3 years

Text

The Helping Hand

This is a Repost from my Ao3 I wanted to bring it to Tumblr. I hope you like it Its currently 5 chapters I will be uploading the rest throughout the rest of the week.

Word count: 1900 approx

Summary: Y/N Krast Illegitimate Daughter of Tony Stark. Product of an unwanted teen pregnancy. What would Howard Stark be capable of doing to assure his sons future? What will happen when Tony meets our Beautiful, young, genius, rich philanthropist.

Tw: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Drug use, Drug addiction, Teen Pregnancy. (If there are any I missed please tell me.)

Ch.2

Chapter 3: Remembering

Ch.4

22 years ago (Tony's POV)

"Dad say something." You watch as Howard paces back and forth. "Tony, what do you want me to say? I'm disappointed in you. You're better than this." He rushes towards you and you can see the desperation in his eyes.

"Does anyone else know? This could ruin you… this could destroy us." You sigh running your hand through your hair. "No dad, she hasn't told her parents yet." Howard tenses further and musters "Good, you better keep it that way."

"Dad, she wants to have the baby." He sits you down next to him placing his hand on your shoulder. "She's not going to keep that child tony. She can have it but she'll never see it again, and neither will you."

"Dad it's my kid I can't in my right mind have it in the foster system." Howard grows impatient. "And what exactly is it that you can offer the kid." You look at him, the anger and the feeling of inevitability building in you. "Money." You simply say for lack of other ideas.

Howard laughs with no trace of humor behind it "And have that child turn out like you, trust me they'll be better off without it. And let me make this clear you have no choice in the matter." You stand to face your dad "Or what did, what are you going to do?" Howard levels with your looking at your eyes "Or I’ll forget I have a son named Tony."

You are taken aback by your father’s words and he continues "So what's it going to be Tony that child, or your future you chose." You take a deep breath and compose yourself nodding at him. "Fine, Howard we'll do it your way. You say while you walk out, finding your mother on the other side of the door.

"Mom?" Shed gives you an apologetic look. "I'm sorry son for your father’s behavior. Everything will be fine." You let your guard down finally realizing the tears that you'd been holding in. You hug your mother nestling your face in her neck.

The pregnancy had gone by so fast Maya reluctantly agreed to your father’s terms. She moved into your home, and you got to see your daughter develop and become a tiny person. You're holding an ultrasound in your hand. "She's going to be beautiful." You say more towards yourself but Maya heard you.

"Do you ever wonder what will happen to her? Tony, I'm scared." You take her hand and look at her belly. "I'm scared too." You confess honestly. She shakes her head "No Tony, I'm scared for her. What exactly is going to happen to her?" You take her hand "I don't know Maya, but she'll be okay." You squeeze her hand reassuringly.

She grimaces and you get startled "Are you okay, is the baby okay?" You Ask almost instinctively Maya can only giggle at your reaction. "Were fine you can touch my bump if you went to. It's her new trick it's called kicking mommy at the most inconvenient times."

You hesitate, but place your hands on her bump. Seconds pass by when she kicks again causing you to laugh. Maya clears her throat "You know you can talk to her?" You look up at Maya and she continues. "I read it she can hear you… if you want to say anything it's probably a good idea to do it now before… well you know."

"Do you mind covering your ears?" She laughs but does it anyway. You bend down to her baby bump as if to make sure she could hear your voice. "Hi, baby it's me your dad. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. And I wanted to give you some advice. Just be strong alright." You can feel your baby moving under your hands "I'm sorry." You repeat.

It wasn't long after this conversation that Maya went into labor. The whole thing was terrifying you, but you had to be strong. From now on yo I had to set an example. "Where is she? Where's my baby? I want to see her at least once Tony… Please." She pulled you out of your thoughts.

"Of course" You give her a small smile and leave the room to where your mother and father are. "Umm… she wants to see her. She wants to see her at least once." Howard sighs but caves in the end. "Fine… I’ll tell the nurse to go get her." You interrupted his sentence.

"Umm… actually I want to go get her." Your mother sighs "Tony, honey that's not a good idea." You look at her pleading with your eyes. "I need to see her… at least once. Please." She looks at Howard and he simply nods. You take your leave and go to the nursery.

Once there you look for her you find her almost immediately. "Hey monkey how are ya… I'm crazy, aren't I? Talking to a newborn like you could understand me." Suddenly she smiles and it lights up your entire heart. "We'll see each other again, I promise. I don't know how long it will be but I’ll see you again." You kiss her head gently. "I'll fight for you, you just have to be strong. Alright, let's take you to see your mom."

As you're making your way to her room suddenly you hear the words "code blue patient in room 34b is in code blue" suddenly the halls are filled with nurses running towards Maya's room. "Mom what's happening is Maya going to be okay?" She gives you a look "It's not looking good honey they've got her stable but, I would go in there before it's too late… Go, Tony!"

"Maya…" you say cautiously holding your baby. "How is she Tony… is she okay?" Her voice was hoarse. "She's beautiful… I think she has your eyes." She chuckles "let me hold her." You don't wait any longer, you place her in Maya's arms. "She's heavier than I thought." she mentions. "Tony fight for her, alright… maybe not today or tomorrow but find her. I'm not going to make it out of her promise that you'll look for her."

The tears start to build up in your eyes. You don't speak but you nod giving her closure. She turns to your baby she's holding in her arms. "I love you so much alright, I'm sorry. I'll always love you." She looks at you asking to take the baby from her arms. You do as she asks… she closed her eyes and never opened them again.

You walk out of the room, the tears streaming down your cheeks. Kissing your baby one last time on the head, handing her over to Howard. Breaking down almost immediately as you watch him walk away with her. As soon as he's out of your sight you feel like the air was knocked out of you.

"She's so beautiful mom… I wish you'd met her." You say as you remember all of her, her image burned in your mind forever. Her captivating smile that stole your heart the minute you saw it. And you promise to Maya. "I'm going to fight for her mom… I don't care how long it takes." She takes your face in her hands "I know you are." She says as she wipes your tears away.

(Howard’s POV)

As much as it pained you to see your son so distraught you continued with your plans. Yes, it was harsh but what was he going to do with a child. Especially now that the mother was gone, maybe she could actually find a worthy family in the system. At least that is what you are trying to believe.

You hadn’t taken the time to look down at your granddaughter until she cooed. I was one of the most peculiar sounds you’d ever heard. Finally letting your eyes travel down you the bundle in your arms. She was… she was perfect you saw Tony in her you saw Maya in her and it just brought pain to you. Here you were paying a stranger to leave her in a hospital. “I’ll give you half the money here and the rest when you come back.” You say firmly. The woman only nods holding the baby in her arms.

It felt like you were waiting forever when the woman came back you were startled. “Sir the baby has been left in the NICU.” You look at her bewildered as to why the child is now in the NICU. “What did you do to her.” she calmly says “The baby girl had problems with her lungs, something about a heart murmur I didn’t quite stay to find out.” You sighed and gave the woman the rest of her money.

Months had now passed and you were still keeping up with the child. Her medical issues were quite extensive, but you made sure she got everything she needed. She had not been adopted or even considered as an option… not once. People usually want healthy undamaged kids. When you were giving up hope on her adoption, you decided on bringing the child home.

Things were quickly changed when the system quite literally lost your granddaughter. At one point you were just looking through death certificates to see if you would find some trace of them. Three years had gone by when you finally gave up hope tired of looking for her tired of feeling the guilt.

Deep down you knew that Tony was going to look for her one day, something you didn’t see coming was her being nowhere to be found. You simply couldn’t live with that so you kept looking. There were so many times where you thought that you had found her but in reality, it was just someone else. It was a nightmare the things these kids went through at this point you just wanted to get her out you had seen enough horror stories.

It wasn’t until you found a report done on the Gordon family that you finally had a lead on where she was. That was almost 11 years of searching to find out that she had quite literally been through hell. She was transferred to a group home after the incident at the Gordon House. It took you months to get in contact with Jerome Evans.

“With all due respect Jerome if you dont hand over the kid you be in deep trouble.” you spat at him angrily. To which he simply chuckles. “And what are “you” going to do about it pops” Now it was your turn to laugh “I was beginning to think you’d never ask you see I know about everything that goes down here. What you do to the kids you know your little side hustle.” You can see Jerome’s expression change.

“Hand over the kid.” He simply nods and yells “Krast get down here!”

(Present Time)

Y/N’s POV

“Are you okay Tony?” You ask genuinely concerned. He simply nods and smiles “I just got an idea, what if we throw you a birthday party here a Stark Tower to commemorate our partnership.” You were surprised by his initiative. “I would love it thanks for offering, but as I said it would be till a couple of months from now so we have time.” Now Pepper starts to talk “When exactly is your birthday.” You think about it and answer “Well I was born in March early march. I don’t really know the day but I usually celebrate on the 5th.” By now Tony just looks pale but you let it slide as you don't know him well.

#maya hansen #tony stark #pregnancy #teen pregnancy #howard stark #maria stark #reader x avengers #natasha x y/n #wanda maximoff #wanda x reader #avengers #marvel #natasha romanoff #pietro maximoff

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ninjastormhawkkat · 3 years

Text

Another Wordgirl Au: Morally Gray Wordgirl

Morally Gray Wordgirl au

I don’t know if anyone else in the Wordgirl fandom thought about this at one point. A what-if I thought one day was what would have happened if Steven became Dr. Two Brains before Becky became Wordgirl? Such as what if Steven became Two Brains when Becky just came to earth as a baby? This is where the au begins

In this au, Becky is adopted by Dr. Two Brains. After Becky and Bob crash land on earth, Bob carries Becky around for a bit and enters the city. This is around the time Steven first becomes Two Brains. Bob, while carrying Becky, runs into Two Brains. At this point, Bob has no idea that Two Brains is a villain. Two Brains has cheese with him and Bob is hungry. Two Brains awkwardly hands some of his cheese to Bob. Two Brains may be a villain now but he is not heartless to not offer someone that is hungry food. Bob eats the cheese while Two Brains holds Becky. Two Brains is nervous at first because some random monkey just gave him a baby to hold😟. When Becky looks at Two Brains, she curiously calls him daddy. She is just a little kid who think that this new man holding her is her parent now. Two Brains heart just melts😍after hearing her call him daddy and looking into her innocent, alien, eyes. He immediately begins to dote on her as a dad would, ex. baby talk and cooing. Bob watches the interaction between Two Brains and Becky and decides that Two Brains would be a great person to stay with and raise Becky. He later regrets his decision.😓😆Here is an outline for how this au would go:

1. Becky still becomes Wordgirl. Bob tries to implement heroic morals into Becky during the time she is being raised by a villain. Becky wants to become a hero because she does not want to see the lives of innocent civilians hurt. However, since Dr. Two Brains also implemented villainous ideals into Becky growing up, her moral values are kind of mixed in her actions as a hero.

2. Becky is more sympathetic towards villains. Ex. When Chuck and Butcher claim to be innocent after being framed by Amazing Rope Guy, she immediately believes them and tries to figure out another angle of who really committed those crimes.

3. She isn’t as upset as when the spotlight is turned off her such as when Tiny Big came onto the scene or when Granny May became bingo champion. She is still upset, but Becky is not as focused on the limelight as canon. She, from Huggy’s teachings, believes that a superhero’s true reward comes from protecting the citizens and just helping when needed to prevent or avenge the cruelest of injustices. Wordgirl will accept gifts or keys to the city out of politeness. She uses the limelight to give the people of Fair City comfort and assurance that she is still there to protect them. Becky views heroism as a job more than a pleasure. It is basically, “You get good results based on how hard and well you do the work, not just what others say.” mentality.

4. That being said, Becky will not take a passive stance and try hard to prove her innocence if the citizens suddenly began to take advantage of her heroism or if they turn on her such as with the evil duplicate or when Granny May framed her for crimes. As I said earlier, Becky in this au views heroism as a job she enjoys and doesn't take impolite backlash, constructive criticism yes. Basically she just becomes done when residents of Fair City act like morons who think they know better. (I have always had a problem when a majority of the residents in Fair City act like gullible idiots. It always irks me how they will turn on Wordgirl easily and not often give a proper apology when they realize they were wrong. Sometimes, to me, it seems the villains have better appreciation for Wordgirl than the citizens. I am not including all citizens, just seems like a majority do this.) (Okay rant over.) Becky will be like, “if you guys don’t want me anymore then good luck.” She will intervene again just to keep the city from going into complete chaos. She still cares about the safety of the citizens, she just does not like it when they abandon their trust in her for no good reason. She is not even mad at the villains who cause this. They didn’t force the citizens to dislike Wordgirl, that was their choice.

5. Becky will not often take her dad to jail. She loves her dad and does not like the idea of him not being home (the warehouse; Becky’s living conditions their are like my version of the Becky Boxleitner au, just somewhat better due to her living their all her life.) She also does not like the idea of having to fight him, but has to in order to keep up appearances and not let anyone get suspicious and start suspecting her identity. That being said, she will let Two Brains escape after stoping the crimes depending on the severity. If Two Brains just steals cheese from the grocery store, she may often ignore it (its just cheese and it can easily be replenished). For crimes such as stealing money or turning artwork into cheese, Becky will stop her dad, but later act like he got away (if police are not around. “Two Brains Quartet” still happens because police are there.). Becky may do this sometimes for other villains depending on her or their mood. Citizens and Villains believe that Dr. Two Brains is an extremely tough villain to catch which raises his credibility as Fair City’s #1 villain when Wordgirl does this. Captain Huggy Face is not happy when Wordgirl let’s her dad go, but he deals with it because she cares about her dad. Becky does stand her ground if her dad, and the other villains, do something dangerous that affects the lives of the citizens. Incidents such as the plot to mind control all the city with bunny buttons and the cheesteroid do get Two Brains arrested. (Becky is like, “Sorry dad, but I can’t let you threaten the lives of innocent civilians.”) Since this happens rarely, Becky usually stays at her friends houses until her dad leaves prison. She has a visitor clearance and does visits with her dad when she can. (Still brings him cheese.) Not much interaction with the Botsford family unless they were a focus in episodes.

6. Becky is more aware of when villains act deceitful. (She was raised by one herself.) She pretends to be tricked to let their guard down before turning the tables on them. (She can be tricky and deceitful herself when she wants to be.)

The police force are more competent in this au than in canon. They were able to capture most villains, with exception to Two Brains and other major villains, before Wordgirl came onto the scene. The city was similar to Gotham before Batman showed up. It was fine, but crime rates were still high. The episode “The Wrong Side of the Law” happens differently than canon. Wordgirl is civil and polite to the police, but does really like law enforcement or fully trusts them due to her upbringing by a super villain. (Two Brains taught her she can respect law enforcement because they are capable of doing a good job, it does not mean she has to like them or follow the rules all the time. I sorta think that the villains have some respect for D.A. Sally Botsford because of how she is good at her job.)

Now on to “Normal” girl Becky. Becky is still referred to as Becky Boxleitner. (Dr. Two Brains did not want kids ignoring or making fun of Becky with a last name like Brains, or something mouse related. He wanted people to know and treat his daughter as herself, not just who she is related to. Two Brains also wanted to give Becky some protection so random people wouldn’t bother her because of his actions. So he just gave her his old human name.) Becky is similar to her canon character with a few changes.

1. Becky will empathize with someone if they are feeling upset and hurt. But if they are doing something dumb and stupid, or anything that is concerning to her, she will be upfront and honest with that person (not complete brutal honesty but something like “Please don’t do something stupid, I care about you and your health.”). She isn’t mean, but she is forward and won’t bother to hide feelings if hiding your emotions will only make the situation worse.

2. Both Becky and Wordgirl are sassy like her dad.

3. She is still passionate about words and respects her teachers and main authority figures.

4. Becky is more clever about excuses.

5. She enjoys science more as well as literature. Becky has top grades in her class. (Next to Tobey). She enjoys science fairs and is a bit better at creating workable, and visually acceptable, inventions.

6. Becky likes puns (Two Brains) and knows every fact about cheese as well as every fact about words (again Two Brains’ fault).

7. Becky is still a fan of Pretty Princess, but has ponies, books, and science stuff in her room. She is a bit more tomboyish than canon.

Becky is still friends with Violet in this au. I always viewed Violet’s mom as an open-minded nature women, based on Violet’s character and where they live. She is easily accepting of Becky and Dr. Two Brains despite Two Brains life as a villain. Becky is also forward early on how some of Violet’s traditions make her uncomfortable so there is no issue in the series.

Becky is more a fan of words and science in this au. She and Violet have fun mixing art and science. Becky does not take art classes, but rather is part of after-school science and reading clubs. (She takes science club with Tobey and reading club with Violet.)

Becky is also friends with Tobey in this au. I have nothing against Scoops’ character. I was just more fond of his character development in the episodes during and after he learns Becky’s identity, plus a few before the reveal. (In the early seasons, it seemed that Scoops would do anything for a big story, even as exposing Wordgirl’s identity as Becky. I was upset in that Vocab Bee episode because Scoops did not seem to consider Becky’s input or feeling when he found strong evidence that Becky was Wordgirl. To me it seemed unfair that Becky had to throw her chances at a competition she was having fun in just to protect her identity because of Scoops’ actions and attitude.) Tobey met Becky when they were between 5 and 6. Tobey just lost his dad (up to interpretation on how) and was just lonely. Kids would make fun of Tobey’s nerd-side and some other mean reasons, or they would ignore him. Becky sympathized with Tobey because most kids, not Violet, would avoid her because of her dad. (They would not dare bully her for fear of how Dr. Two Brains would react.) Tobey and Becky easily began to get along and overtime became friends. Claire McCallister was worried about her son hanging out with the child of a villain. But quickly after seeing how Becky was a good kid plus Two Brains being a good dad despite his status, and that her son was happy with friends, she let her worries slide. Claire, Dr. Two Brains, and Violet’s mom, have made an unofficial single parents support group between the three of them. In this au, Tobey does not become a villain, but still builds robots. (I already have a new villain that takes canon Tobey’s role.) Becky and Tobey are silently crushing on each other. Tobey does suspect Becky is Wordgirl, but respects her secret identity and will wait for her to tell him (or a reveal). (Still cares for her anyway.)

Scoops parents are friendly but are strong law-abiding citizens so they avoid Two Brains and Becky. Scoops in this au is nice, but is more concerned on news stories. He originally talks to Becky in hopes of getting an interview with her dad. Scoops is trying not to be inconsiderate, but he is sorta using Becky as a way to get to her dad. Becky deals with this stuff from other reporters and fans of her dad. Neither Dr. Two Brains and Becky like this attention. (Two Brains likes being in the news and in magazines, but he doesn’t like people using his daughter to get to him. Becky is the most important person in his life with cheese being second.) Becky shuts Scoops down after his first few initial attempts. Scoops is disappointed, but he apologizes and doesn’t bother her anymore. Becky is civil and polite to Scoops in this series, but that is about it. There is no crush. (I don’t know if I will keep the Violet x Scoops ship in this au or change it.)

I really like this au along with a few other aus I made up which include an Alliance Swap au. I am going to expand more on this au and the characters later.

#wordgirl au #morally gray au #a becky boxleitner au #with just a Dr. Two Brains dad twist #poor Bob #he has to deal with a good/evil Wordgirl #I just realize I made Becky a little bit like Manny Rivera from El Tigre #That was not my intention but okay then.#wordgirl #oc mention

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unmaskedagain · 4 years

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Marinette Vs Santa

A quick Christmas drabble.

How did Marinette find out she was adopted? Well… her little half-brother tried to kill her.

Also, that’s how she found out her biological dad was Batman. Because… why not. As if her life wasn’t weird enough already.

And to think Marinette had been secretly writing Santa every year since she was three to like nine asking for a sibling of her own. She didn’t think it would ever happen

Then one day, on a cold December night, as Ladybug ran across rooftops to see as many of the Christmas decorations as possible. Suddenly every instinct she had told her to duck. And she did just narrowly avoided a sword to the throat.

Marinette readied herself to fight an Akuma, only to see an angry ten-year-old with a sword and a mask. He was dressed in green, red, and gold.

“Die, usurper!” He roared and attacked her again.

Ladybug dodged and jumped every attempt to kill her and tried to resist the urge to punch a child.

Eventually she got the better of the kid, and ended up hog tying him.

Marinette put her hands on her knees as she struggled to catch her breath, “Who. Are. You. Nightmare. Child?” She asked in between breaths. Ladybug picked up the fallen sword and pointed at him. “And what is your problem? What did I even do to you?”

“You are Marinette Dupain-Cheng, first born blood child of our father.” He hissed at her, “I am our father’s rightful heir; not you.”

Our father? Did her dad have a lovechild? Did he cheat on her mom? No, Tom Dupain would never.

“What?” Marinette pinched her nose. “You want to be head baker?”

“Fool!” He tsk’d at her. “I’ve no interest in your adoptive parents’ holdings. I will follow Father’s footsteps and rule the night. I will be Batman. Not you, sister. Kneel before me and renounce your heirship, and I will spare your life.”

…Wait Adoptive? Batman? Sister?

Marinette just stared at him. Not saying a word. For a while. Awhile he insulted her.

She looked out at the colorful lights that glowed against the freshly fallen snow and sense of peace that filled the air, and Marinette whispered the only thing on her mind…

“Fuck Santa.”

The boy stopped struggled and gave her a perplexed look, “What? What does the jolly fat man have to do with anything? Why has he made you angry, sister? I will avenge you.”

You just tried to kill me, she wanted to say.

Marinette just rolled her eyes, “Never mind. We need to talk.” She picked him and tossed him over her shoulder. “In my room.”

Running across Paris with a struggling kid on your shoulder and a sword in your hand wasn’t easy.

When she got to her room, she dropped the kid on her bed as gently as possible. “Do not escape,” She ordered. “If you do, do not destroy my room. I’m going to ask my parents if…” If they’re really her parents. Why didn’t they tell her? Why? Just Why? “What you say is true. I won’t mention Batman.”

Or the psychotic ten-year-old she had tied up in her room. Who may or may not be her brother.

Marinette de-transformed. Tikki hid in her hair before anyone could see her.

She came back to her room half an hour later with a cheese plate, full of veggies, fruits and crackers. And a tray full of chocolate chip Christmas cookies and two glasses of milk. She sat them down at the desk.

The boy glared at her.

“You were right,” Marinette sighed. “I was adopted. My birth mom was just nineteen when she had me. The sister of one of my mom’s friends.”

The news had been a blow. Her parents had kept repeating how much they loved her and how they had been planning on telling her when she was older. Older than fourteen. They wanted to know how she found out. She said her little brother had gotten in contact with her.

Marinette eyed the still tied up boy… her brother. He no longer struggled against his bonds, just stared with an angry expression on his face. “I don’t want to be Batman,” She told him. “The title is all yours. I like being Ladybug. It’s a name I earned, worked hard for. A name I’m proud of and will not part with easily. Is that something you can understand?”

He stared at her for a moment before nodding slowly, “You created your own hero persona to find the terror entrapping your city; all by yourself. …Father did the same.”

He said the last part with a sad tone that Marinette’s new found big sisterly instincts go haywire. “And you think just because you’re his… partner,” She said, instead of sidekick because she was sure that word would get her killed. “And not a solo hero, that he will find you unworthy of being his heir.” Marinette sat down next to him, and patted his hair softly. “Did you ever think that because he is the one who’s training you, that because you fight by his side, that he’d trust you more? Trust you to take up his mantle in the way he can’t trust me. He doesn’t know what I’m capable of entirely. But he knows exactly what you can do because he taught you.”

Her brother scoffed but his face lost some of its anger and he seemed to relax.

“I’m going to untie you now,” She told him. “Do not attack me.”

When he was untied and given back his sword, which he sheathed, Marinette brought over the food. “You know my name,” She said after he took a bite a cookie and seemed pleased with it. “What’s yours?”

“Damian,” He answered. “Damian Al-Ghul Wayne. How did you obtained magical powers? And what is the creature that thought it could hide from me?”

Marinette just blink. Because Dammit Tikki. The pink ball of fluff out with a chastised look on her face. Unfortunately that look meant nothing as all the other Kwami Marinette now protected as Guardian thought that meant they could come out to.

Plagg straight to Damian and sat on his lap, “Cheese. Now.”

Marinette face-palmed. The Kwami had taken trying to declare dominance ever since Ladybug took the ring back from Chat Noir.

Damian could only stare at the being, animal, and sprite as he reached slowly for a piece of cheese from the selection of food and handed it the small creature. That was all the other Kwami needed to rush to him for attention. Damian was easily mesmerized by the little creatures and saw no issue in showing them affection. Apart from the fact that Oracle, and Father, and thus the rest of the family were watching the feed, through the mask, while they attempt to locate him. Damian could only disable their trackers for so long. Annoying as she was, Oracle was a genius.

“Okay, little brother,” Marinette shrugged. “You tell me your story. I’ll tell you mine.”

And so they did. The two siblings spent the next few hours telling the other all about their history. Neither were happy.

Marinette was beyond furious that her little brother was raised by ruthless assassins, cast into the role of Robin (though mostly by his own doing), constantly risked his life, and had little no childhood.

Damian was pissed, which was putting it nicely. His beloved sister had no training when she was charged with the task of defending the city as the hero Ladybug and fight a supernatural terrorist, dealt with sexual harassment from her once trusted partner, then her master died in battle but not before he bestowed one of the most powerful magical artifacts of all time to a teenager. To top it all off, his sweet sister was being bullied by a pathological liar who turned all her friends against her, nearly got her expelled, leaving her with little to no Allies to aid her in her fight against evil. Marinette had cried at the end of her tale.

…He was going burn Paris to the ground.

Little did he know, the Batfamily found it hard not to agree as they watched the livestream from the Batplane?

Dick had gone from jumping up and down at the sight of his adorable new sister, Marinette. She was a hero called Ladybug, how cute was that? To being rather angry at what she had to put up with. It was too much pressure for a kid, superhero, superpowers, or not.

“What do we do?” Tim asked.

Batman was still having trouble processing. He had another daughter; a beautiful little girl who seemed to have taken after him without ever having known the man. Nature versus Nurture, he supposed; nature won. Marinette who had been fighting to save her city like he fought to save his. Who was her mother? Why didn’t she tell Bruce he had another child? Granted Brucie wasn’t who most people thought would be an ideal father but still… Hadn’t he proved himself?

“Find Hawkmoth,” Jason growled. “Punch a hole through his face. And Send Steph and Cass to have a “Talk”, he air quoted. “With that Lila chick. While we have a little talk of our own with Chat Noir. End of story.”

Cass nodded, gleefully, that little girl would pay for what she did to Cassandra’s sister. And if she was lucky, Lila would even live to tell the tale.

Stephanie was wondering if the Batfamily, her sort of-adopted family, could really get away with murder.

…Who was she kidding? They totally could.

“We don’t… kill?” Batman said as he turned around and stalked away. “I’ll inform Alfred of the development.” Maybe have him prepare a room, he thought with hope. He’d like his daughter to visit and feel at home whenever she could.

When Batman left the area, Tim looked around at his siblings, “Did that sound like a question to anyone else?”

Marinette and Damian fell asleep next to each other, with the Kwami cuddled close. The next morning she woke not only to sound to the sound of the Kwami but to the sight of five additional vigilantes heroes, in addition to the one from the night before, hovering around her room.

Two girls who were discussing with Trixx and long about their abilities. A hero in mostly black and red, who sat on Marinette’s top bunk with Marinette’s laptop on his lap, and Pollen on his shoulder. Damian still had Plagg with him, which Marinette wanted to tsk at because she told him not to play favorites. A blue, clearly the oldest, was laying on the floor playing with the remaining Kwami like they were puppies.

She sat up in her bed and tried to wipe the sleep from her eyes. She glared at Damian, “Want to explain?”

“Mornin, sunshine,” A guy in a redmask said, with Barkk on his shoulder, as he chopped on a leftover cookie, not noticing the way Tikki glared at him. “Name’s Red Hood. Real name Jason. Dad’s downstairs talking to your parents.”

Dad?

She glared even harder at Damian. He shrugged, “Marinette, these are our… brothers and sisters.” He said. “They were adopted.”

“You should get better security on your computer,” The hero on her bed said. “Name’s Tim. I go by Red Robin.”

“Cassandra,” One the girl introduced. “Blackbat.”

“Stephanie. Batgirl,” The other said.

“I’m Dick!” The one on the floor laughed. “Nightwing. Welcome to the family.”

Tim continued, “I’ve located all personal information on Lila Rossi. I believe we can now move forward with the plan.”

Jason clapped his hands together, “Awesome. Operation: Get That Bitch is a go.”

Marinette just started at them. Six. She had six siblings. One for every year ever asked for a sibling for Christmas. She just had one thing to say as she tossed the covers back over her head to hide from the world…

“Fuck. Santa.”

Finding out Bruce Wayne, cough Batman cough, was her father was one thing. Meeting him in person was another. He stared at her with cool blue eyes that made Marinette realize she probably should’ve questioned where she got her own long before.

Her parents had been surprised when Bruce Wayne walked into their bakery and asked to speak with them alone. Even more so, when he claimed to be the biological father of their daughter. It had been long conversation between the three. But Bruce made it clear that he had interest of just taking Marinette from them. However, he would like visitations and for her to spend time with him over the summers. And to take her out for the day so she could meet her siblings. Also, about adding Wayne to her last name.

So that was how Marinette found herself sitting in one of the most expensive restaurants in all of Paris, in the best dress she ever designed herself, with her… family.

The initial awkwardness was broken up by all her siblings. Though they seemed to know to how to behave in public, they had no problems messing with each other and teasing.

“How long have you been into fashion, Marinette?” Bruce, her Papa, (As her dad would always be her dad).

She smiled, “Since I was really little. It’s my dream to have my own line.”

Bruce’s eyes got bright at the chance to help his daughter, “I can help you with that. I can drum up a connect or two, to get you started.”

“He’ll throw money at it until someone cracks,” Jason translated which cause Marinette to laugh and Bruce to glare.

Marinette discovered Damian had snuck Plagg with him to the restaurant.

Marinette just groaned.

“You brought Tikki!” Damian defended.

“I’m the holder of her Miraculous,” She hissed back as low as she could. “Paris’s main and sometimes only hero. I need her.”

Damian huffed, “That’s no reason he shouldn’t be allowed to attend as well. He’s with me.”

Before Marinette could continue the arugment…

“Wayne?” Gabriel Agreste asked, tailed by Natalie, Adrien, Chloe, and Chloe’s parents: Audrey Bourgeois and André Bourgeois. “Bruce Wayne?”

Bruce put on his most charming smile as he stood up, “Yes and you are?” He put out his hand.

Gabriel shook it, clearly wondering why the billionaire was there. “Gabriel Agreste.”

Bruce nodded, “The fashion designer.”

“This is my son Adrien,” Gabriel introduced. “My assistant Nathalie. My longtime friend Audrey Bourgeois, of the Style Queen, and André Bourgeois, mayor of Paris, and their lovely daughter. We’re here for a quick lunch.”

“Same,,” Bruce nodded. “I’m here with my children. My eldest Dick, followed by Jason, Cassandra, Stephanie, Tim, Marinette and my youngest Damian.” He introduced them.

At the sound her name, all the newcomers eyes went to Marinette. She gave them a small wave, “Good to see you again.”

“Dupain-Cheng!” Chloe gasped.

Damian growled, “Dupain-Cheng-Wayne.” As he glared passed her at the blond boy, the former Chat Noir.

The blond girl was stunned, “How could you not tell me?”

Hadn’t the two moved passed their difference and become friends? The two girls, and Kagami and united together when the liar seemed to take hold of the rest of the class.

“No one knew,” Marinette defended. I didn’t even know, she wanted to add. But they had discussed and agreed on the story that Bruce and an unknown woman gave up Marinette to the Dupain-Chengs when she was born. Nothing scandalous about it.

Gabriel paused as he tried to think of what to say. How did he not know there was Wayne living in Paris, that his son was classmates with a Wayne. The girl had power in her pinky when she was still in Nappies, then either of the older Bourgeois had currently in their entire bodies. She would’ve been a much better playmate for his son than Chloe; the vapid, girl that she was.

Audrey was thinking nearly the same thing. “Such a brilliant daughter you have, Brucie,” She smoozed. “I still can’t believe she turned down the internship I offered her. I want her to come to New York with me, you know?”

Bruce beamed, “I’m glad someone sees her brilliance.”

This went on for a while as each of the parents tried their hands at flattering the billionaire. Bruce finally had enough and all but dismissed them

“I’m glad our children our such good friends,” Gabriel said finally as he turned to leave.

Marinette fought he urge to scoff. Adrien was not her friend.

The boy in question looked anywhere but at Marinette as he left. He had chosen to side with the other students when the Ice’d out Marinette until the girl stopped being a bully and being mean to Lila. Even if he knew it wasn’t true. Most declared they weren’t her friends anymore. Alya said she’d never be friends with Marinette again.

Coward, Damian nearly hissed. When they were gone, he turned to Marinette, “The blond girl is your alley, correct?” He asked. “Your Queen?”

Marinette nodded, “There’s Luka and Kagami as well.”

“I will test to ensure they are worthy to fight at her side,” He declared.

The others nodded. Bruce got a dark look on his face, “We all will.” He would not allow his daughter to suffer another Chat Noir.

That was it, Marinette thought as she threw down the sliver napkin, she was starting to hate Christmas.

The end of the weekend the entire world knew that Marinette was Bruce Wayne’s daughter. This made going to school Monday morning a huge spectacle as paparazzi crowded the outside the bakery and outside the school. Each one trying to get the attention of Wayne’s crown jewel, new Princess of Gotham, as the media dubbed her.

Suffice to say, Bruce had taken her to school that day flagged by Dick and Tim as her other siblings combed the city for traces of Hawkmoth.

The principle had practically fallen over himself to speak with the Bruce Wayne. But quickly hid in the shadows, when the first thing Bruce said to him was, “Ah, yes, you’re the man who expelled my daughter without a proper investigation. I’ll be talking to you later. So will my lawyers.”

Marinette tried to hide her blushing face her father walked her to class. Students did everything they could to get a look at her. Chloe and Kagami waited outside her classroom, that was practically bursting with noise.

However She practically drop dead when Tim complimented Kagami’s sword fighting skill and offered to duel her, and Kagami blushed. Blushed. Kagami?

Marinette shook her head as she kissed her father and brothers goodbye. This world just didn’t make sense anymore.

The two other girls flanked Marinette’s side as they walked into class. All noise stopped instantly. Marinette didn’t even bother spare the other kids a glance as the three took a seat in back of the class.

Chloe quickly pulled her into a conversation of the places she’d see that summer in New York.

“I’ll be spending the end of Christmas break in Gotham too,” Marinette said shyly. “I’ll open my presents there. Papa wants me there for the Wayne Ball was I can be properly introduced to society.”

And not because Bruce Wayne was scared of what Alfred would do if he didn’t get to mean his new granddaughter before the new year. That and Martha Kent were the ultimate overprotective grandparents.

“A Ball?” Lila squeaked, poorly concealed jealously on her face. She still couldn’t believe the little twit was Wayne. IF she had, Lila would’ve been a hell of a lot nicer. No wonder Marientte always knew when Lila was lying. She probably knew the celebrities through her father. “You’re going to the Waynes’ Annual New Year’s Ball.”

“Everyone goes,” Rose awe’d. “It’s basically a red carpet event. I watch every year. And Selena Gomez had the most beautiful dress on last time.”

Juleka hummed in agreement, “Clara Nightingale looked like a princess.”

Marinette just shrugged as each of her classmates offered their input on what the Ball would be like. She wasn’t about to make nice with them. They had turned their backs on her, betrayed her trust. Her brothers and sisters had warned her to be watchful for phony friends.

Alya, who’s face had been turning steadily more red, as the classmates speculated who Marinette would meet. “Girl!” She burst. “How could not tell me?”

Marinette raised a thin eyebrow, “We’re not friends, Alya, by your own declaration. I don’t believe I have to tell you anything. And even when we were friends, I only knew you for two years. Why would I tell a journalist anything important about me?”

“She was right not to,” Kagami stated, “With how quickly you all turned on her, I’m surprised she ever told you anything at all.”

Alya flinched back as if slapped. So did a few other students.

“It’s not fair,” Alya continued as if nothing happened. “I could’ve gotten so many interviews. OH! I could with you to the Ball. It’ll be bomb.”

The three girls in the backrow just stared at her.

“We. Are. Not. Friends,” Marinette repeated slowly. “Kagami and Chloe, and their families are invited because Kagami. And. Chloe. Are. My. Friends. In fact, my only friends in class. Luka is invited as well as well as his family,” She turned to Juleka who turned bright red. “Luka will receive invite tonight. If you attend with him, I will do my best to be polite. My father allowed me to invite them so I would have additional company if it gets too busy. The Ball is invitation only.”

Allowed? He insisted. Marinette doesn’t even know how he found out all their names and who their families were. For reason, Marinette had the gut instinct to blame a redhead and Tim. Batman wanted to test his daughter’s team. And if they were lacking… Well, he’d promised to shape them up. Or else.

“I’m going to the Wayne Ball!” Chloe shouted. “And you didn’t tell me. It’s mere weeks away. I need a dress. I need to tell Mother.”

Kagami had frozen. She knew well that the Wayne Ball wasn’t just any high society event. It was the High society event. Her family had never been elite and rich enough to receive an invitation. “I thank you for the invitation,” She bowed her head. “It will be a pleasure to attend.” She paused as she pulled out her phone and stood up. “I must also tell Mother.” And with, she quickly left the room.

Which was much more polite than Chloe who called her mom then and there.

“Mama!” Chloe sang, “Marinette invited us to the Wayne Ball this year!”

“WHAT!” Was heard from the receiver.

Marinette giggled. She ignored the glare Alya sent her.

Rose grasped Juleka’s arm and jumped up and down. “You’re going to the ball. Ahhhh!” She screamed. “What will you wear? Your hair? You have to take pictures.” Rose suddenly reared back and took a deep breath. “You’re going to walk the red carpet.”

“You know, Marinette,” Lila smiled sweetly. “I would be honored to help you navigate the world of a celebrity. The ball will be so stressful. If you needed me there, I’d be happy to attend.”

“No, thank you,” Marinette said. “My siblings have promised to guide me through. It will be a bonding experience.”

Lila forced a smile on her face, “Of course.” She fought the desire to scream and throw a tantrum. How could this happen?

Adrien on the other hand fought to keep the smile on his face. His father would not be pleased. He had instructed Adrien to get close to Marinette, and thus the Wayne family. Adrien hadn’t had the courage to tell his father that they weren’t friends anymore. And that because of the lack of friendship, the Agreste were not invited to the party of the year.

Marinette went to bed that day with a smile on her face. The Christmas season may have started off rocky but it would get better.

Suddenly her phone started buzzing like it was on fire.

The first text she read was from Chloe: You’re dating Roy Queen?!!!!

Marinette’s entirely body froze. Who?

Suddenly, she got another text… From Jason: Hey Baby Bats, I need a favor! Can you fake date my friend Roy. I already told everyone you guys were a thing. Bruce is freaking out! Thanks! Love you.

Her mouth dropped, raged filled her entire body. And then she remembered how she joked with Alya that she wanted a boyfriend last year for Christmas last year.

“FUCK SANTA!”

#ml salt #batfamily #Marinette deserves better #Marienette Dupain Cheng #bruce #bruce wayne #damian wayne #alya salt

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twentyninetynines · 3 years

Text

empty as a car coasting downhill // self para

summary: After experiencing and investigating a sudden end to her archives, Lyla has some bad news for Miguel. Miguel is not a fan of bad news. trigger warnings: death, violence, brief implications of domestic violence and abuse featuring: miguel o’hara, lyla, brief mentions of other characters word count: 2049 (god i wish it was 2099)

“Miguel.” Lyla’s voice echoed throughout the apartment, pulling Miguel from his slumber, and he sighed as he pulled the pillow over his face to block out the dim yellow light of her hologram.

“I told you not to wake me up early on weekends,” he grumbled, swatting towards the light as if he could disperse the hologram with his hand. The light flickered and, when Lyla spoke again, her voice came from the other side of the bed --- a telltale sign that she’d grown irritated enough with his swatting to move, even if there was no physical effect of his efforts.

“It’s ten in the morning. That isn’t early.” Miguel groaned, shoving the pillow further against his face as Lyla continued. “Additionally, you told me to provide updates on the timeline as they became available. If you don’t want to hear it…” She trailed off, leaving the threat hanging clearly over his head and Miguel cursed, removing the pillow from his head and sitting up in bed.

“This is some form of emotional abuse,” he told her seriously, rubbing his eyes. His hair was sure to be sticking up at all angles. Dana always used to say his bedhead rivaled that of the messiest people.

With Miguel upright in bed, Lyla seemed marginally more pleased. She flashed him a smile which he returned with a glare, crossing his arms over his chest to further sell his displeasure. Lyla sighed, rolling her eyes and flickering out of sight for a moment before reappearing at the foot of the bed.

“You win,” Miguel said, leaning his head back against the headboard. “You’ve bullied me into consciousness. What’ve you got?”

Lyla didn’t usually hesitate. She was programmed with remarkably human reactions, but the negative aspects of humanity had always been toned down as far as artificial intelligence was concerned. People liked perfection, even if it provided a poor imitation of humanity. Lyla didn’t usually hesitate, but she was hesitating now. She was staring at Miguel and sucking in her lip, as if debating whether or not to continue. It set him on edge, made him nervous. “Lyla…” His voice was steadier than he felt, but Lyla seemed to catch the nerves anyway. She offered him a tight smile before nodding.

“My archives stopped.”

A beat followed. The gears in Miguel’s head started turning, and he’d blame his sluggishness on the fact that he just woke up but he knew there was a hint of denial contributing to it as well. “Your archives stopped,” he repeated, eyeing her carefully.

“My archives stopped,” she confirmed.

Another beat. And then, “That makes no shocking sense. Your archives don’t stop unless I fail to update them, and I happen to like knowing what the shock is going to happen in this stupid shocking decade.” Lyla shifted. Holograms shouldn’t be able to look apprehensive or guilty or upset, but Lyla was all three and Miguel narrowed his eyes. “Whatever you’re thinking…”

“There was… an article. At the end of the archive.”

“Thrilling. What was it? The classifieds? I could probably use a new job.”

“An obituary.”

Miguel’s heart dropped to his stomach, and his mind began moving faster, anxiety working to spring it forward. “An obituary,” he repeated, throat dry. “Whose?”

And he knew the answer. He knew it before she gave him that apologetic look, he knew it before she tore her gaze from his to look down at her hands folded in front of her, he knew it before she spoke. “Yours.”

“No.” The word was out of his mouth before she’d even finished speaking. “No, because if it was mine, then who updated your archives? Who sent you back so you could upload them? No. It wasn’t mine.”

“It was yours, Miguel.”

“Bullshit.” It was harsher than he meant to be, and Lyla flinched but he didn’t care. Anxiety was replaced by rage so suddenly that it might have terrified him if the anger hadn’t drowned out everything else. “That’s bullshit, Lyla. I’m not --- I don’t die. I can’t die here, I’m --- I won’t even be born for another fifty years, and I’ve got --- That’s bullshit.” He was out of bed before he realized he was moving, was pacing around the bedroom and trembling. He picked up the only thing within reach --- a coffee mug with a cold, stale brew still settling in the bottom. The mug went through the hologram, shattering against the wall, and Lyla blinked out of sight momentarily.

When she popped up again, she was next to the bed again. She’d changed the appearance of the hologram, gone from the mashup of every pinup Xina had ever seen all mixed together they’d set as her default as a joke because you’ve gotta have something nice to look at when I’m not around, sweetie to an old familiar face, to warm eyes and long hair and a smile that was too tight around the edges and the fire in Miguel’s chest turned to ice in an instant. “I’ve told you not to do that,” he said, choking on the words. “Don’t --- Don’t do that. Please, don’t.”

Dana’s face smiled back at him all the same, gentle and cautious. “It’s the only thing that calms you down when you get like this, honey. You know that.”

And he did. Miguel was an angry man, had inherited George O’Hara’s temper even if he’d never shared an ounce of the man’s DNA. Some things were taught, he supposed. Some things were a part of you no matter whose blood ran through your veins, became twisted up within you, became all that you were. His anger was one of them. “Well, I’m calm now. And I don’t --- I can’t look at her and hear this.”

There was a pause, another hesitation that shouldn’t exist because Lyla was a computer program and not a person and somehow she was the only one who’d ever loved him anyways. There was a pause, and then Lyla was Lyla again, picture perfect without a hair out of place. “What do you need to hear?”

“Do you know how it happens?” His voice was quiet and defeated and he was looking anywhere but the new coffee stain on the wall, anywhere but the shattered glass on the ground.

“That’s not really the type of thing they put in obituaries in this decade, Miguel.” And that made sense. This decade was gentler than the one he was used to. It was softer. Death was a tragedy here instead of a warning. Miguel nodded, slow and uncertain.

“Maybe I wrote it,” he offered, looking for any kind of a way out. “Right? Maybe I wrote it to start us on some --- some kind of solution. To get me back to 2099. That could be, right?”

Lyla looked almost sympathetic. “But you haven’t been trying to get back to 2099, have you? Not for a long while now.” She was right, she was always right. In the beginning, he’d been desperate for a ticket home, but after a while… “You’ve built something here. Friends. Peter, Tony, Bart, Sharon… You’ve got people here, don’t you?” He nodded again, not trusting his voice enough to speak. “And you’ll have more. They were mentioned in the obituary, you know. You don’t have any family here, but they were… You have people. More than you did before.”

“I had Gabri,” he argued. “And mom, and Xina, and…” He trailed off before he could tack her name on the end, before he could pretend Dana was anything more than a name carved in granite by the time he left.

“They hated you, Miguel.”

He huffed a laugh at that, a strangled sound that was more of a gasp than anything resembling a humorous response. “Well, yeah. Of course they did. But the people here… I mean, they do too, don’t they?”

She gave him a look at that, and she didn’t have to speak for him to know the answer but she said it anyway. Lyla always spoke, even when he didn’t need things said aloud. Miguel had never been able to decide if he loved or hated that. “You’re projecting a little bit there, Miggy. There’s only one person here who hates you. You know that.”

Miguel closed his eyes, nodded again. There was one person in this decade who hated him, one person who despised him more than anything and he couldn’t get away from that. No one had ever hated Miguel more than he hated himself. He didn’t think it was possible. “Okay,” he said, eyes opening again. “Okay. So, I do it on my terms, then. I take out Tiberius Stone. I mean, I’m dead either way, right? So I take out Stone, and the future’s better.” She didn’t say anything. “Lyla, the future’s better, isn’t it? Do an analysis.”

“Analyzing,” she replied, voice a tinge more robotic than was typical. Her eyes went blank for a moment, program constructing a future in which Tiberius Stone died in the year 2020, a future in which Alchemax’s rise to power became stunted very early, very definitively. When she came back to herself, it was with an apologetic shake of her head.

“What happens? Just --- Break it to me quick. Alchemax?”

“Stone’s shares are bought out by another company. They go on to develop the public eye policing and build to a justice system very similar to the one you experienced in 2099. That seems to be a fixed issue, regardless of Stone’s involvement.”

Miguel shut his eyes again, throat tight. “What about Dana?” Lyla went quiet again, and Miguel grunted lowly. “She still dies?”

“No,” she replied softly. “Dana D’Angelo marries young. She has two sons and a daughter, and she grows old. When she dies, it’s surrounded by children and grandchildren and great grandchildren. She lives a full life.”

“A happy life?”

“I don’t know, Miguel. I don’t know that.”

Miguel swallowed, nodding numbly. “Who, uh… Who’s she marry? Shock, is it… I mean, without me getting in the middle of it, it’s probably Gabri, isn’t it?” Silence. Miguel opened his eyes, looking at her until she sighed.

“George and Conchata O’Hara have no children. Conchata dies in 2070, a few years before Gabri would have been conceived. A year after you would have been born.”

“How?” He asked the question the moment before his mind provided the answer, and he shook his head. “No. No, don’t… You don’t have to say it. Let’s… We can move on, yeah? Where’s Xina end up?”

“Xina Kwan is employed by this timeline’s version of Alchemax shortly after her graduation. She goes missing in 2095.”

“She was never good at rules. I can’t imagine any version of Alchemax liked that.” He went quiet again, rubbing at his eyes with the heels of his hands. “I can’t do this, can I? Nothing’s better. I kill Stone, and the future is still shocked. I let him live, and I still die. I don’t… I don’t get a good option, do I?”

“I’m sorry, Miguel.”

And Lyla was just code. She was an old Alchemax program that he and Xina had altered in a dorm room, she was ones and zeroes and a healthy dose of teenage rebellion and Miguel loved her so much that it ached sometimes. She was his best friend, the best friend he’d ever had, and she wasn’t even real. She wasn’t even a person. What did that say about him?

“It’s okay, Lyla. It isn’t your fault. It’s probably mine, right? I mean, I’m the one who pisses somebody off enough to make them off me.” Lyla’s laugh was out of pity rather than humor, but Miguel accepted it all the same. “Look, we’ve got time. Don’t we?” He opened his eyes and she nodded, slow and careful. “We’ve got time. So I’ll… I’ll figure something out. A way to not, uh… not die. Should be easy, right? I mean, I’m great at not dying. I’ve been doing it for thirty years now.” Another laugh, soft and gentle and meant to placate, to comfort. “Yeah,” Miguel nodded. “Yeah. We’re gonna be fine, Lyla. I’m gonna be fine.”

(If he repeated it enough, it would start to sound true eventually. The alternative couldn’t be an option.)

#self para tag tbd #p: empty as a car coasting downhill #death tw #violence tw #abuse tw #domestic violence tw

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hero--for--fun · 4 years

Text

Shadow {an analysis}

Been putting a lot of thought into her lately and I’ve decided a path for her and its pretty good development.

This is pretty long so its going under a cut, but I wanna talk about her.

This post also contains some Zombieman parenting stuff.

~A great deal of her feeling of rebellion and toxic mind set comes from three factors. A). Feeling like she’s less important B). Being shut down for her interests. C). Skunk

Lets start with A.

Feeling Like She’s Less Important

Her father is an S class hero, so he’s usually busy. Often Zombieman would have to break promises to her. Slowly, she developed the mindset that he was undependable, but with Skunks pushing, she started to believe that she was just not one of his priorities.

Especially since Sadako was born, Zombie has been trying to spend more time with his girls, and this rubs Shadow the wrong way. He only gets them on the weekends (every other week if he’s lucky in the summer or during breaks), so he tries not to miss too much time. After years of him not being around, for him to be around now just feels like a kick down.

This doesn’t stop with Zombie either, this also takes place at her mothers house. Shadow’s moms house was given to her in the divorce. Zombie wanted to ensure that his girls had a secure place to stay, and he didn’t want that to ever be jeopardized. When her mom remarried, her new stepdads kids started to stay over more and more, and he decided that the kids needed a room.

While Shadow and Sadako were in Zombies care, stepdad and mom decided to have “renovations” made to the house, and their visit was extended to a month rather than a weekend. When they were finally allowed back home, it was revealed that Shadow’s childhood room was no longer hers, and she had been downgraded to the basement.

Shadow would have been fine with the basement considering that it was larger than her room, but the fact nobody asked was one of three reasons this was bad. The second reason was that the basement was also going to be made into a playroom, which meant she would have little privacy or space to herself. This decision also meant that her mother and stepfather threw away a lot of her things that they deemed “inappropriate” for the younger children (Shadows posters, creepy stuffed toys, basically anything that seemed occult or dark), not caring about sentimental value or Shadow’s feelings. The third and final reason was that they decided to switch the doors lock so it only locked from the outside, meaning they could lock her in.

Feeling less important doesn’t stop at parents or family, but I don’t want to get into that for now (because its not fully branched) so lets move on to B).

Being Shut Down For Her Interests

I made a whole fake franchise just for her to be super into called “Labyrinth Series”. Basically it follows main character Betrice (Bet rice) and a group of teens as they navigate this giant labyrinth that takes them across planets and dimensions. It has an awful movie and tv series, a good book series, and basically it’s one of her favorite things because of how dark it can get.

Shadow could go on and on about this series, and considering that she’s a quiet and introverted person, this is a new behavior for her. It’s not normal for her to have full on conversations and what not, yet here she is talking about this book series and all its plotlines and characters. One of the few ways she is able to bond with Zombie, is this series.

Let me set a scene here. She’s sitting on the couch on her laptop and suddenly she just lets out this excited gasp. Zombie looks up from where he’s trying to figure out how to set up child filters on an old phone and asks what’s going on. She explains that Labyrinth Series is getting a graphic novel done by an artist she really admires. He asks what Labyrinth Series is and Shadow just starts infodumping about it to him.

He’s invested, interacting, and interested in this. He’s also impressed that Shadow is actually willing to have a conversation with him, because normally she’s either ignoring him or one word answers. Shadow actually gets him curious about all this and he winds up asking what happens next. She goes quiet and mumbles that she doesn’t know, she left the latest book at her moms and she can’t ask her to bring it because its essentially contraband.

[end scene]

Shadows mom disapproves of most of Shadows interests and Zombie doesn’t interact with her enough to know what she was into.

Her mom blamed Shadow’s “anti-social behavior” on three things; Zombieman, her appearance, and her “occult interests”. When Shadow would get to talking about things like Labyrinth Series; what music she was into; or something that didn’t sound like a typical teenage girl interest, her mom would shut it down instantly. This led to Shadow spending more time in her room, which was once the only space where she could freely express herself. Shadow couldn’t trust her mom to even touch her laundry because she’d “accidentally” throw away anything that seemed “too dark”. (That being said Shadow has lost many t-shirts this way)

Zombieman was honestly a big stuck in the past, and while she still loved Monster High most of her dolls were put away. He knew Shadow was growing up and that she was changing, but he didn’t know how much was changing. It genuinely surprised him when she started dressing in black and going by Shadow. He tends to miss trends or hit the wrong ones, and he can’t tell when a trends been over for a while. Shadow also doesn’t typically make it easy to tell she’s into something, so when he does notice she’s into something, she will sometimes deny it purely out of fear of getting shut down.

Lets move onto C).

Skunk.

Skunk is an 18 year old high school dropout who dyes a straight line down his hair different colors and thinks he’s all that and a bag of jacks. His belief is that its him vs the world and every girl who wears black has daddy issues.

He wound up meeting Shadow at a Hot Topic and he started filling her head with his rather toxic way of thinking.

“The world is against people like us, the chosen few.”

“You and I can live forever, if you trust me.”

“Nobody understands the pain your going through like I do.”

And Shadow believed him, because in her eyes the world was against them. Every new disaster, every bad thing in her life, the world itself, was flawed. Skunk convinced her that this was all because people like them were wiped out and shipped off as monsters. Skunk was filling her head with lies, and in her already damaged mental state she believes him.

Zombieman openly despises Skunk, but he can’t do much about him because Skunk isn’t doing anything too illegal. He hears the things Skunk says, and he knows that this is a large source of his daughters toxic mindset, but Shadow is so caught up in this web that she believes that its Zombie oppressing her. This is what Skunk was talking about, and her father will never understand.

Her mom also hates Skunk, but she has absolutely no idea how to make this friendship stop without Shadow turning 100% against her. Shadow would sooner commit crimes then drop the only person who seems to understand her.

Skunk is manipulative, sleazy, and extremely dangerous. He has a borderline obsession with Shadow because everything she brings to the table here. A famous father, already “damaged”, and willing to follow him blindly. Skunk is a “nice” guy and he wants to “help” Shadow any way possible. He wants what she has, he wants to live forever.

He doesn’t care about the consequences of it, if he has to sacrifice Shadow or not, or even if he has to spend it alone. All that matters is he is a legend to them all. She depends on him to show her his way, because this path is all she has in her eyes.

Shadow feels like she’s running in a nightmare.

end.

There is saving her, there is a way. I’ve already talked a lot and I wanted to post this, so if y’all actually like this maybe let me know. I can type more if y’all like this.

#The ghost association {oc tag}#Zombie girl {shadow}#Zombieman

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itsclydebitches · 4 years

Note

What would be your preferred resolution in regards to Raven? From the current direction, I fear CRWBY will ignore all the misery and death her tribe has created in favor of redemption and Ozpin taking fault her running away.

I for real don’t know what to do with Raven at this point. What I wanted (very much past-tense here) was for her to function as a catalyst for Yang’s development. Yang telling Blake about her search for Raven was the first time, outside of the trailers, that we got some real motivation from her, insight into her emotional state, and thus some nuanced characterization. Up until then she existed pretty much only to punch things and support Ruby. But that setup was either dropped or twisted in Volume 5. Yang is talking about/to Raven as if she’s really her mom instead of just a biologically related stranger, denying us an examination of her feelings towards Summer as her mom and where Raven might fit into that. Yang suddenly became interested in hearing about how awful Ozpin supposedly is instead of finally getting an answer to the question she’s asked since she was a toddler - “Why did you abandon me?” - thereby denying us a resolution to that conflict set up in the conversation with Blake. Yang weirdly trusts Raven despite all logic and the writing doesn’t approach that as a problem. I would have loved to see her act as a means for Yang to work through her PTSD: “Why didn’t you save me from Adam like you did Neo? Am I really only worth one moment of help?” Or use Raven as a way of examining her issue with “cowards”: “Hmm, I condemn my mother for running from me, her brother, Salem... that might just intersect with my partner/BFF/potential girlfriend leaving after Beacon and me interpreting her running towards her family as abandoning me.” Basically I never cared about Raven as a character on her own, just because she’s always been pretty one-note and the RWBY cast already has a massive number of main characters to develop. I only have to much emotional energy to care about characters lol. So I’d have been happy for her to function only as someone for Yang to develop from... but as said, that course took a lot of strange and illogical turns. At this point I don’t know what I want from Raven because I can’t easily imagine something built from the canon that feels satisfying.

I will say though that I definitely don’t want a “Now you’re forgiven!” story-line. Because you’re right. Raven entered Beacon to learn how to kill huntsmen and, unlike Qrow, never changed. She then abandoned her brother, Ozpin, and eventually her daughter to become the head of a group of bandits who, on the best of days, like locking heiresses in cages. At some point she murdered a young woman to gain her power. She deliberately sowed BS about Ozpin, further using Yang as a means of undermining the group she belongs to, and then turned around and joined the baddies to try and save her own skin. After fighting the heroes and not having her plans turn out, she was given the option of painting a target on Yang’s back instead and happily ran with it. Last time we saw her she was slamming into Tai’s backyard for who knows what reason. She is, to summarize, a character who would need a MASSIVE arc to redeem, the type of arc we just don’t have the time for. Neither in RWBY as a whole or as an individual given Raven’s status as a minor character. So yeah, I wouldn’t be pleased if they gave us one (1) scene where she does something vaguely Not Bad and that’s enough to supposedly outweigh everything that came before it. At this point, with her character’s impact all over the place, I’d just have her die in a major battle and pass the power onto a major hero or villain (or have Ozpin find a way to reclaim his magic, thereby breaking the Maiden cycle now that it’s causing them so much grief). It’s not a good conclusion by any means, but it’s potentially better than a) keeping her off screen indefinitely because there’s no time to continue her story/they don’t know what to do with her, b) bringing her back only to continue that weird “I hate my mom but also trust her word completely and this isn’t a problem” characterization with Yang, or c) randomly make her a good guy.

#rwby #rwde #mymetas #Anonymous

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kainumbernine009 · 3 years

Text

I literally cannot do anything else until I get this out.

I’m... really not okay.

And when I say that, I’m not mentally unstable. I say that because I’m tired of waiting on empty promises, I’m tired of never having money in our account, I’m tired of living in a fucking city where half of the white people fucking worship the ground Trump walks on, and where most of the gay community has so much messy drama that it’s worse than middle school. And I went to a rough middle school.

I never talk about my past, because I don’t like to. It sucked. HARD. Being and only child in my family was nothing less than torture, especially as a closeted queer person. We grew up in the white Christian part of Nashville that dominated Music Row in the 90′s and early 2000′s. I played basketball with Alan Jackson’s daughter, and being around famous people was just no big deal. But, my parents decided to leave Nashville after my dad lost his job at TPAC, and we moved down south an hour to the town where the KKK got started (Pulaski, TN).

I had maybe two non-white people in my private Christian school growing up. I was never afraid of Black people, but my parents showed their racist asses quick when we moved there. The KKK has never left America, guys, no matter how many articles you read or studies you do. From 2005 to 2009 I saw a white town show its very worst to the Black community. I’ll never forget the first time I saw a march for “White Christians for Purity” the summer before Obama got elected. The disgust I felt inside was palpable. I had all kinds of friends in school, and I didn’t give TWO SHITS who they were or what they looked like... but I saw children my age, being brainwashed by their parents, that “white” is “right.”

Ever since then, I have been learning and growing about the issues of race. I remember my white classmates using the N word and getting away with it. I remember hearing about the principal at the high school punishing all the Black kids but not the white kids. I remember being invited to a church south of town that was a historically Black church, and how nice the ladies were to me for coming.

But I’ll never forget the racism that the religious groups promoted there, especially First Baptist Church and the 12 Tribes. I’ll never forget how FBC told me that my friend was going to Hell because she killed herself. I’ll never forget my mom telling me not to marry a Black man because of “impure genes.” I WILL NEVER FORGET THE INJUSTICES I SAW WHITE PEOPLE DOING TO BLACK PEOPLE THERE. NEVER.

And thank God, I have shaken the burden of religious guilt, but I still fight against this mentality. I live in a place that’s usually not even 10 minutes away from Trump-humping, sister-fucking, meth-addicted Confederate cunts in any direction. And we’re even closer to the rich white people who silently supported him, upset that their taxes would go up because of Biden.

And in the past four years since Trump got elected, I’ve gotten married, graduated college with honors, started my own photography business, and was making more than my husband there for a minute. I did my own taxes, marketing, editing, and everything. And then I came out as trans.

I lost everything.

I lost my studio. I lost friends. I had rumors started about me. I had people post hate messages on my wall. I had people at my drag shows tell others not to tip me, for whatever fucking reasons. I’ve had bosses give cis people jobs over me, and I’ve had government workers give me second looks when I hand them my license.

It. Fucking. Sucks. To. Live. Here. Like. This.

Oh yeah, did I mention I’m also a witch/medium? I’ve talked to dead people before and have told their relatives things I shouldn’t have known otherwise about their grandparents. Like, this information doesn’t even exist on Google. And I’m attuned to reiki. I’m always aware of what’s happening on at least SOME metaphysical level. This is a gift that I’ve had to go through life developing and learning about myself, with no one’s help but me.

I didn’t even know until I was an adult that I have autism and ADHD.

I’ve taken bullets from people who were about to kill themselves. I’ve yelled at 5th grade music classrooms for doing racist dance moves and appropriating Native Americans (I have a degree in Music Education K-12). I’ve consoled kids in classrooms who suddenly have panic attacks. AND I’ve told horny teenagers to stay in their fucking lane and respect the girls around them. I’ve apparently been an inspiration to those around me, but inspiration NOR exposure pays the bills. I’ve already had COVID, and so has my husband, but I knew that after graduating college that I would never have a fulfilling life being a music teacher in Tennessee’s public schools.

And now that we have COVID, and an orange, small-dicked, pedophilic, rape apologizing, dirty, crusty white president who STILL REFUSES TO CONCEDE, who is DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE FOR HAVING HIS FOLLOWERS SEND DEATH THREATS TO MY FAMILY, I really don’t know what the fuck else to do other than go burn down all the houses I know of in North Georgia that belong to these Christian sex cult pedophiles and call it a day. My girlfriend unfortunately was born into one of those families, and I know just how bad it can get. In fact, her dad’s lawyer threatened me with blackmail earlier in November, so that was fun!

And now, on December 11, 2020, I’m still sitting here in the same fucking house, doing the same fucking things I’ve been doing all year - trying to get a job and failing horribly. I’M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS COVID BULLSHIT AND OUR INCOMPOTENT CUNT OF A PRESIDENT! And there’s only ever one other person I’ve ever called a cunt... my own mother.

I’ve lived in many places. I’ve met many different people. I’ve made mistakes, and have grown, but there’s one thing for damn sure that I always make sure to do, every single fucking day.

I ALWAYS try to do better.

In addition to this, I treat everyone with the same amount of respect, unless they have done something directly to me to negate that. If I know that someone believes in something that directly harms me or my family, I don’t even associate with them. I don’t spend my energy on things that don’t need it. And everyone else should, too.

The problem with some of y’all is that you care about the wrong things. Like will Becky text me back or did I get front row seats to that concert, or did I slave my life away to capitalism just so that I can own a Mercedes and have my friends jealous. I’ve had way too many dear death experiences to know that EVERY single fucking day is a gift. EVERY day.

I don’t want to be remembered first for the art I create. I want to be remembered for my character. I want to be remembered as the courageous person who never backed down in the face of adversity. But when you live in a place that already hates you and that is against you, that’s really fucking hard. Trust me. My marriage went from a cis straight passing couple to a white gay passing couple. I’ve seen how people’s attitudes changed around me as I transitioned. I know what it feels like to slowly lose a piece of your privilege you were born with.

So yeah, I kinda get a little fucking upset when I see people saying All Lives Matter, or when I see doctors refusing to treat trans patients in pandemics, or when I see cops YET AGAIN harassing Black people only a few blocks away from my house for no other reason than racism. And at this point, anyone who thinks they know me but only knows what people think they know about me can suck my entire ass and eat ten dicks. I don’t give a FUCK about who you are or what you’ve done. If you treat me or other people with no respect for no reason other than to be an asshole, you’re just plain shit. If you SERIOUSLY believe every little rumor and lie that someone tells about me before meeting me, fuck you AND the horse you rode in on.

What I can’t stand is people doing or saying things just to get a rise out of me or others. I thought we left petty shit in high school. Some of the people that “know” me really need to fucking grow up and grow a pair and either say what they want to my face, or stay mad. I’m tired of playing fucking petty games with y’all. We have a whole ass pandemic to solve.

So here’s the ultimatum... if you agree that Black Lives Matter and that queer people deserve basic human rights, EVEN THE ONES YOU HATE, then that’s the bare minimum to even be a decent person. If you can’t even do those things, then I don’t fucking know what else to say to you.

So NBC, maybe not have John Mulaney joke about my license debacle with my gold van on SNL, and Seth Meyers... maybe HIRE ME INSTEAD of Mulaney because clearly y’all don’t know about the south as much as I do? Oh, and that gazeebo joke with Lee University... I caught that. I may have autism, but I’m not a fucking idiot. I mean. I’m funny when I’m given the chance. And yeah, I’m on a watchlist, but who the fuck isn’t these days? At least all my secrets are out for the world to see, and I have a bangin’ tattoo.

I’m tired of everyone being like “omg, I’ve seen what he can do, it’s fantastic!” or “omg you’re so funny haha” and bragging on me and then NOT FUCKING HIRING ME. I’m TIRED of waiting on something that’s clearly at this point never coming.

I don’t even have testicles, and my balls are bigger than most of the cis men I have EVER met.

So, if you want to help me, or hire me, or get me out to an audition... I’ll be there. But until then, I’m so fucking MAD at some of these producers. Yeah, my mom is a cunt, but she worked in various forms of digital production from the 1980′s until she retired this year. She taught me SO MUCH about directing, writing, shooting, and more. I know how these things are supposed to run behind the scenes. I know what the fuck I’m doing, and I don’t take constructive criticism like a bitch. I actually WANT to be criticized, so I can do even better.

So PLEASE, for the love of Christ... y’all need to get your priorities together AND PLEASE STOP LEAVING ME OUT OF THE LOOP WITH THIS BULLSHIT. Grow a fucking pair and either call me, email me, or leave me alone. It’s really not that fucking hard. Looking at you, Lorne Michaels.

Oh and someone tell my husband what the fuck’s been going on because I’m tired of him gaslighting me about it.

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sometimesrosy · 4 years

Text

Anonymous said:

You aren't asking the missing questions: Why do they need to be intimate suddenly when their interactions have always been about Madi? Why isn't Clarke getting intimate with Raven but with Gaia who she didn't pay attention to till 7x01? Just ask ask these questions to yourself and you will see you have no valid answer. They made the exact same thing with [L/xa] back in S2-S3. Make Bellamy disappear, let Clarke interact with randoms. Boom. Clarke's new love interest. The pattern won't change.

+++

I beg to differ.

I DID ask those questions. I most definitely did and there are MULTIPLE possible answers, but I’ll ask and answer them AGAIN.

What is the purpose of Clarke having a new intimate relationship right now?

Because Bellamy is GONE and she needs someone to speak to about her feelings because only TWO people have ever been that for her, her mother and Bellamy. And if she doesn’t have that, she’s at the point where she burns down castles. She needs a confidant. She’s NOT okay. (This leads room for her later to freak out when she hears that Bellamy, Octavia, and Echo, but mostly Bellamy, are missing. She’s not losing any more people.)

Why not be intimate with Raven? Because five seconds ago, Raven was treating her like the enemy. Also, Raven lived for six years with Bellamy and Echo and she is not an objective observer, she is in fact, not on Clarke’s side. Or not in a way that Clarke can open up about her vulnerable feelings.

Incorrect about not paying attention to Gaia. Gaia is who helped her try to keep Madi out of Octavia’s notice. And also the person who held her when she almost crumpled to the floor after floating her mother and hearing that Russell had taken Madi. She’s been interacting with Gaia since season 5, MORE than she interacted with Raven actually.

They did not do the exact same thing with lxa back in s2-s3. Clarke’s known Gaia a lot longer than she knew lxa before becoming friends with her. And when Clarke was faced with her loved one dying, Clarke said “but he did it for me.” and L responded, “then he dies for you.” And when Clarke gave him mercy instead of letting him be tortured, Lxa said “this will haunt you for the rest of your life.” And when Clarke asked Lxa how she carried on after Costia had been killed by her enemy, Lxa said “love is a weakness,” which started Clarke hurtling towards emotional and psychological collapse as Clarke sent Bellamy (love) away into the mountain to die so she wouldn’t be weak. Lxa then coerced her into letting the bombs drop on TonDC to keep Bellamy from dying, and then blamed her for the bombing because of her selfishness. THEN after being partners and friends and having an intimate connection in that episode where Clarke saved her from Pauna, she first hit on her, then asked her to come home with her, then abandoned her and her people to die in MW, before asking her to forget everyone she loved and come home with her. And this was the season BEFORE she kidnapped her and imprisoned her.

What part of that is exactly the same as bonding over protecting the life of a child who is both important to them? Now who’s not asking the missing questions?

First off, Clarke and Gaia is 100% better than CL, and if Bellarke weren’t endgame I’d be good with it. Clarke and Gaia are actually friends, they talk. Clarke can tell her about her feelings without feeling like she’ll use those feelings against her people. CL didn’t even talk when they were making love. That’s canon. Clarke didn’t WANT to talk to her. She couldn’t trust her. Clarke trusts Gaia with both (some of) her feelings and her daughter.

Second off. That still doesn’t mean they are going to be romantic. An intimate conversation coming two or three days after Bellamy has just saved Clarke’s life with this intensely romantic scene where he brought her back with the force of his love ALONE. Like you didn’t want that Bellarke CPR scene for CL. You lie if you say it isn’t romantic, because that’s what you wanted for L’s death scene. IT IS ROMANTIC. IT IS SOULMATES. The head and the heart. That’s canon.

And you’re like, oh... they’re talking about their feelings about their parents dying and opening up... NEW LOVE INTEREST RIGHT HERE LOVE INTEREST ENDGAME IN THE HOUSE COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY DEFINITELY CANONICALLY LOVE INTEREST ENDGAME SOULLMATE ITSTHEEPATTTERRRNNN.

Why? Do they keep? Separating? Bellarke?????

There’s a missing question you keep not asking.

seven years running.

Definitely no doubt a pattern. That has not changed.

WHY?

BECAUSE Clarke and Bellamy are, in fact, the main relationship and the main love story of The 100.

The fact that they separate them every year and every year they bring them back TOGETHER is the pattern that you’re missing.

You’re looking at the trees and can’t see the forest.

A love story is about how the love interests come together.

Every season, Clarke and Bellamy are apart, and over the course of the season, they come together, closer than before. Sometimes they start apart, sometimes they start together and are torn apart before coming back together. But ONE THING ALWAYS HAPPENS.

Clarke and Bellamy always come together and being together, they reach victory.

This is the pattern of the story. Sometimes they are separated by other relationships, or death, or politics, or betrayal. Or all of the above.

And yet, they still come back together.

AND not only do they come back together, but every season, they get more intimate, more passionate, closer, more together, and yes, more romantic.

Another pattern. The other love interests don’t last. They also start when Bellamy rejects or turns Clarke away. In Hakeldama Clarke made a proposition to Clarke and he turned her down so cold she was sure he hated her. So she turned to L. But CL were romantically together once, as a good bye, because L put another death order on every single sky person, and Clarke could no longer stay, even though L offered to let her stay because she’s not like other girls skypeople. But in the end, Clarke was leaving her and returning to Bellamy. Finn? She’d already broken up with him and turned her main attention to BELLAMY. Niylah? That was about human connection in season 3 and because Bellamy rejected her in season 4. Cillian? Because Bellamy had a girlfriend and she was moving on despite being completely in love with him, because he wasn’t hers. There’s a pattern you never notice, do you?

You see the obstacles in the story and you don’t see what the characters do to overcome the obstacles or where they end up or what happens when they’ve grown past them.

This scene with Gaia? This isn’t an obstacle even yet. Not even a romantic obstacle. It’s a moment of humanity with another person, which she NEEDS. Could it be more? Sure. Might it flirt with that? Maybe Idk. Just like something happened with Cillian, but it wasn’t a new love interest. It pushed Bellarke to the front of the plot, and forced Bellamy to confront his own jealousy and dissatisfaction with Echo... which was unfair, as he realized. AND it also was part of the plot becuase the Cillian LURED her away and tried to kidnap her. It was a set up, not a love interest.

But did you notice that? Did you notice that her love interest in season 5 and 6 was BELLAMY? Even with the cillian interlude?

Nope.

Claim I don’t ask the questions or follow the patterns as you conveniently pretend that everything that doesn’t fit your theory doesn’t exist.

Every single time I’ve gotten an ask about Gaia and Clarke, I have considered what it meant, how it could develop, why it was written, where it might go?

ONE place it might go is to develop a character who got little development before so that we will feel it when she is killed off, because they want the deaths on the 100 to matter. To hurt.

When you see a minor or secondary or even main but non-sympathetic character suddenly getting character development and screen time, it’s now time to worry about that character. Oh look, Finn save Raven’s life on the Ark, empathize with him, now he’s dead. Oh look Monroe who has been with us since season 1 suddenly has a first name and a home, now she’s dead. Oh look at all the love for sinclair who is so cool I love him oops now he’s dead. Ah Gina what a sweetheart she cares so much--ouch now she’s dead. Oh look at Gaia, bonding with Clarke and we learn about her father who died and her issues with her mom.... uh oh. I am definitely concerned. (Same for Echo, btw.)

Just pointing out a pattern for you that you may have missed.

Since you don’t pay attention to anything in the story but what you want to see. Or even my own posts that you’re claiming to critique. Bitch WHO didn’t ask questions?

you got the wrong blogger.

#the 100 #bellarke #ship and let ship #listen c/g and c/l shippers i apologize. because i get antis who attack me whenever i ship anything becaue i don't ship their ship #i end up needing to go into detail about what doesn't work for me and trying to prove my certainty for bellarke #if you don't want me to take apart your ship don't send me asks saying your ship is real and mine is fake #i don't even think your ship is fake i just don't ship it so ship and let ship

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kennedycatherine · 3 years

Text

things may be shitty but sometimes I'm shittier

I’m overheard retelling half a joke my friends have heard 30 times over. One of the greats in my rotating stock of five.

“Wait, what’s this about?” Asks someones boyfriend and I lean on an elbow, angle myself toward him with a grin.

“It’s actually a really funny story.”

His girlfriend rolls her eyes, “it’s not funny.”

My eyebrows go up, in, “I think it’s funny?”

“Kennedy,” she begins and looks at me with even eyes, “it makes people uncomfortable.”

She says it like a mother warning her toddler not to pull his pants off in front of the dinner guests, not again. And I feel a lot like he might;

Defiant - it is a funny story, I’ve done the math on which details can stay in, which have to go out, I know where to pause for a laugh or a sigh. He’d probably like it.

Ashamed - it probably isn’t funny to everyone, perhaps my math was just enough to keep people engaged, the pauses great for a sympathy laugh. He probably wouldn’t like it.

“Another time,” he whispers with a soft, consoling smile and I silently curse his girlfriend.

Fuck you, Kierstan, you don’t know the first thing about comedic timing.

The story in question is about the time I found my sister cold and unconscious. I thought she was dead. The punchline about my being in a pink velour costume when the EMT’s arrived and the bit about the stolen laffy taffy, oh and her not being dead - fully worth the undeniable emotional lows.

Believe me when I say that in some circles, it’s a funny story. There are branches of comedy, Netflix specials, peoples entire careers and livelihoods that are rooted in dark comedy - there is a vast market for illuminating and lightening the horrifying. Also trust me when I say I know how deeply unfunny it is to watch someone you love overdose.

The story is funny now. A few years ago it wasn’t. It was a nearly unspeakable thing. An experience that happened and it wasn’t funny.

But life goes on.

You have no choice.

Around the time of the pink velour tracksuit and the laffy taffy, I found myself laughing uncontrollably at my desk. I’d just left the job I’d gone to college for and found myself in the pit of broken dreams - an 8 to 5 desk job. The absolute thrill of it all - somedays you might file, somedays you might answer a few more calls than usual. Somedays your boss might ask you to bend over and pick up his pencil while you wear the skirt it was gently (but firmly) implied was mandatory. Mandatory only in the sense that no one could tell you that you couldn’t wear pants but they sure were more forgiving of car naps running 15 minutes over if they could glimpse a knee.

And boy, did I need the car naps.

It’s funny because I thought I was doing great. Really, for awhile I thought I was the best I’d ever been. I was laughing pretty much all the time, at everything. I’d never found the world more funny. By all accounts, I was having a great time.

So imagine my surprise when one day I found my eyes full, my face damp and my car hurdling down the highway past the exit to my work. When I did arrive, this time with pants, therefor low forgiveness - I was asked to my boss’ office for a closed door meeting.

Why was I late?

Somehow telling my boss that I wasn’t exactly sure the reason but my brain was telling me I should just keep driving, maybe to the next town, maybe for hours, maybe until the border, didn’t really seem like an option. “I think I have the flu.”

Despite all the things I didn’t know, I did know I didn’t have the flu. I found myself laid out in my doctors office anyway.

When he finally threw the door open, all white coated and anxious, just like I like em’ - I sat up. We made a sort of frenzied eye contact and he asked me what was wrong.

“I think I might be, like, totally fucking losing it.”

I left with a plan and antidepressants.

It all sounds kind of simple and quaint.

But it wasn’t.

Stopping to consider if you’re a danger to yourself or anyone else so your doctor can qualify if you need counselling, pills, maybe a psychiatric hold isn’t charming. Those first few weeks of pills, even though you’ve been told and you know you’ll feel worse for awhile, they’re simply awful. This isn’t some beautiful woman on HBO popping a white pill with her chardonnay, suddenly noticing a pink bloom on her neglected cactus. This is ugly and painful before it’s anything else.

And slowly it did become “anything else” … most of the time.

Depression isn’t a joke. But it is a static way of being that loses it’s edge.

It softens. Like a shitty haircut, you come to expect the blunt, harsh edges. Your body adjusts to the sight of it. It’s still kind of scary to look at but you know what to expect.

Life goes on.

It’s just not precious anymore.

I could barely say I’d been diagnosed. I only told the people who were close enough to see the new medication was wearing me out. Now it’s an introductory fact, “Hi, Kennedy Catherine, daughter, lover, lesbian, writer, major depressive disorder.”

I felt for a long time like it was all behind me. The worst was over! Family, outside of some trick hearts, healthy. Depression, diagnosed, plans made, helpful medications on standby. Experiencing another dark episode seemed dull, ya know? Just a tad fucking redundant. Been there, done it, bored by it.

Then: March 2020.

There was a period of limbo. I still had a job, I just couldn’t be there or do it until things got better - hardy har. I packed up my truck and settled into my families cabin for five or six weeks. It was fine, I was fine, I thought. One day I went out for a walk and awhile later watched my sister rumble through a long stretch of prairie toward me on an ATV. My phone was dead and I’d be gone, oh, three hours longer than expected?

“What happened?”

I just kind of… lost track of time? Lost my sense of direction? I don’t know, I thought. I was here but I sort of went away from myself for a second. When I sunk into the bath later with achy muscles and a blister, I felt nervous.

Now, I haven’t scared myself in years. My depression isn’t so severe that I feel unsafe with myself. Anything I did or have done to effectively terrify myself, I shed by the time I was 20. Because that can happen, you can do that. You can change coping mechanisms and learn real, healthy ways to parent yourself. The mood instability that came later, the dark times, I still felt mostly fortified. I felt like I could figure it out, like I still had access to myself to do the figuring out.

But I could feel myself slipping away this time.

I was talking fast about something or another when I finally said to my mom, “I think I might need help.” I wasn’t sure exactly what I meant because I didn’t really know how to help myself and I wasn’t really sure what was wrong.

And that in and of itself is a problem. I didn’t know what was wrong?

I was out of the job that got me out of bed Monday to Friday for three and a half years, I left the house that had become my comfort cathedral, I hadn’t seen any of my closest friends in months, I was living with my sister and my mother who I hadn’t spent longer than a handful of days with in like five years. There was global fear and uncertainty and the risk of contracting a virus that could or could not kill you but I didn’t know… what was wrong? Well that’s just deeply moronic.

Sometimes when you need help, or when I need help, that does come in the form of professional counselling or medications or an anonymous support group. Sometimes, it’s just circumstantial and circumstances can change.

I went home.

And in a few weeks, when I’d more or less returned to myself, I could clearly see the hills and valleys my mind had just wandered. I felt strength again, a sense of renewal and excitement about my imminent return to work and society.

Then I actually lost my job.

I know, redundant. I’m tired of myself too. But bullshit is cyclical, that’s just a fact.

And if there is one thing I’ll give myself credit for, it’s my ability to immediately concoct a backup plan in the face of a threat. Moments after I was officially terminated, texts and emails went out. The idea of not knowing where my next paycheque would come from and how much it would be, having lost the place I strolled into everyday with a sense of purpose and not knowing when and where I’d have that again was simply not an option.

My head went down, I narrowed focus and the efforts resulted in… enough. I’m living. Which wasn’t and isn’t the hope for life. Unstable stagnancy is deeply uncomfortable.

So, generally speaking, things are not great.

I lost my humbly secure job. A place I comfortably could’ve lived and died if I’d prioritized everything other than work and my sort of crippling ambition. This effectively led me down the path of questioning every decision I’ve made past the age of 16. First and foremost, choosing radio. An industry that was at it’s peak in the 1930’s and on the decline ever since was perhaps not the most lucrative or secure of career choices.

My romantic life developed far enough to remind me that often times I am a crusty, avoidant crustacean human and suddenly all those popular tweets about my deep emotional inabilities and intimacy issues seemed, well, not that funny.

I decided I probably shouldn’t drink. I don’t have a drinking problem but I do have a problem with drinking. Namely, waking with no memory, my legs shaking and my stomach clenched so tightly I could sense my body wanted to flee - itself, mostly. And let’s not forget the part where I get fighty and mean.

When shit hit the fan and then shot off the blades into the face of life in my early twenties, it wasn’t my fault. To be clear, mental health is a no fault area. I was always predisposed to depression, mental illness is genetic. I had no control over that. But there were plenty of variables, extenuating circumstances if you will, that I also had no control over but sure as fuck could and did blame other people for.

This is not the same thing.

This is a moment where it is necessary to discern illness from circumstance and living from coping.

Like I said, bullshit is cyclical. And it this point, it’s pretty much just my own bullshit on repeat, forever and ever amen. At twenty or twenty three, when the circumstances weren’t my fault, it also felt like my reactions weren’t my fault. I was floundering, I didn’t know better. I learned some hard lessons about how I cope and handle things. I learned that I didn’t really like the person I was when I was figuring out how to survive myself and life.

I was unkind, a lot.

I hated the way that felt, I hated the way it affected my relationships and decided to learn from it.

Except, I didn’t learn. I said, great, noted. Dashed a nice little ~fini!~ at the end of that chapter, closed er’ on up and bypassed the bookshelf for the dusty box in the corner labelled, “garage sale.” Because surely no one would need to read that again!

And then a few weeks ago when I had a breakthrough in counselling, I dug that chapter back up and allowed myself a few days of surprise. Bitch, you been done knew the WHOLE time. This isn’t news, this isn’t shocking. This is the part of you that developed somewhere along the way and it didn’t work and you didn’t like it but! But. It was comfortable. So you gave it a few years and then when things fell out of control again, let it settle back in all warm and snuggly.

You know what they say. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, I guess I need to financially prioritize a CBT therapist.

So here I am, again.

Only this time feels deeply, deeply different. Because it’s not the first.

I sat down with a friend to tell her how I was feeling. How much I felt like I needed and wanted to change my default settings.

I need a factory restore.

“I think you’re being hard on yourself.”

No, no, I have grace for myself! I actually have a lot of understanding. I’m parenting myself through this which includes showing myself love while I also discipline.

“I just feel like maybe you were doing the best you knew how.”

Well, I mean, sure? Sometimes? But there were moments where I knew I was saying or doing the wrong thing, where I was even challenged by someone else but I wasn’t challenging myself, you know?

“Well maybe that’s just who you are?”

Right… but this is also who I am? And we do actually have a say in that, you know? Like how I evolved from throwing toddler tantrums on the grocery store floor? I could actually just keep doing that, no one is stopping me, but I don’t.

“I think you’re being self deprecating and that is not healthy.”

Since when is self identifying a problem self deprecation?

“Oh, don’t be so hard on yourself.”

… but change is hard?

I appreciate that people want to protect me from myself or from bad feeling or whatever they perceive that all to be. More often than not, I think they, we, you, I, we’re all just trying to protect ourselves. But it’s not helpful. Pretending that everything is fine and that we’re fine and adopting an overarching, “I am perfect as I am, namas-fucking-te” mantra isn’t actually helpful.

What’s the harm in me saying I have been shitty? That I have acted poorly? That I have neglected to be better when there was clearly a different option? That I wasn’t honestly showing myself to people when I could’ve or allowing them space in me?

That it’s… not nice? That just like the joke about my sister not being dead, it’s not comfortable to listen to? It’s true and it is compassionate to view yourself as a whole, to know yourself and think I actually do like myself and this life enough to want to be better.

Just like what is coined the unfortunate evening of Velour and Ambulances or the depression diagnosis or life being turned on it’s head by a plague sent from hell, once it was deeply painful and then it wasn’t. None of this is precious. Being a shitty person sometimes isn’t a rare affliction. You’ve been shitty before, you’ll do it again, I’ll do it again, hey, you might even be shitty right now! Isn’t that something?

Things are not great right now. They’ve been not great tens of times before. Only this time it isn’t taking me 2 to 4 years to talk and laugh about it. Because this is a muscle, the shit muscle and it’s exercised. It’s buff.

And you know what? Things could be worse. They could even get worse now! I’m hoping they don’t but they certainly could, and in the thick of it, we’ll always have that glimmering possibility to hold onto.

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liltimfrance · 4 years

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TIMOTHÉE CHALAMET

New interview for German media (2020)

Translation

He is what Leonardo DiCaprio was in the 1990s. But Timothée Chalamet is not only enthusiastic as an actor. With his appearance, feminine and still male, he is also considered a model for a young generation. And he understands his work more politically than his predecessors did. Allow: the future of Hollywood!

NZZ am Sonntag magazine: Timothée, the story of a gay love "Call Me by Your Name" made you an international film star and earned you an Oscar nomination for best actor. What memory do you have of the evening in March 2018?

Timothée Chalamet: Oh, that was a fantastic evening! I went there with my mom, she was my date that evening. For me, a dream came true that day. I was so thankful to meet all these stars that I look up to. I had already met her at other events from time to time in the weeks before, so there was almost a buddy feeling - crazy! Friends of mine were also nominated, Saoirse Ronan and Greta Gerwig. And James Ivory even won an Oscar for our film, for the script. That was the most incredible moment.

In 2019 you were nominated a second time for the Golden Globe as the best supporting actor in «Beautiful Boy». Is that becoming the rule for you now?

I don't expect it in the near future. But of course I wouldn't mind if it works again at some point.

How has your life changed since the great success of "Call Me by Your Name"?

Oh, I don't think about that very much. I am happy that I have more options now and prefer to concentrate on doing good work and finding roles that challenge me. I've always been a violent film nerd, I grew up with indie films, I love this job - I was just extremely skeptical that young actors would get any chances out there. But the reactions from the audience confirm that it is worth being an actor. You can inspire people like that. We really wanted to say something with “The King” too. I love the language of the film alone - it is a cross between Shakespeare and “Game of Thrones”.

The drama “The King” deals with political issues such as abuse of power, manipulation, betrayal and trust. Did you learn anything personally from the subject?

When I was playing I noticed something: power feels very different than you think. Because you always feel yourself as a normal person, never as an overpowering figure or one of the most important drivers in the world. There are no machines even in the control centers of world politics. When I was in my costume and had to take on this leading role, I felt exactly like my young regent, who is faced with great tasks and challenges and who is not sure whether he can master them.

How does a young man, who carries a film of several million on his shoulders, who is quite slim by permission, deal with self-doubt? Didn't the heavy armor bring you to your knees, not to mention that you wielded the sword for hours?

The director wanted dirty, hard sword fights, and that's exactly what we shot. I gained a good seven kilos of muscle for this role. Of course I'm far from being a handsome warrior. If the director had wanted that, he would have taken another one. What we paid attention to was the attitude with which I went to war. It shouldn't be an invincible king, but one who just barely survives. The bottom line is that he still faces the fight. Nevertheless, I had a lot of fun with it. I was able to bring the ten-year-old to life in me.

Even if “The King” is not a superhero movie but a modern allegory, many young people will probably only watch the film for your sake.

Phew, it can be, of course I don't know. But if I can make these important issues accessible to the masses, then I'm happy. It's about what makes power out of people who only came to this position through privileges or their family tree. Yes, I was still at school six years ago and I remember how hard the teachers tried in vain to get us excited about politics. Today it really worries me which regents are currently in power.

You've been dating Lily-Rose Depp since the shoot. Now you are both considered new Hollywood royalties like Brangelina once. How do you like being such a modern prince?

Now I have to think carefully about what I say. Modern Prince: Somehow this description doesn't suit me at all. My career was not a straight line that quickly led to great success. I would describe it as a zigzag. I always chose very different projects, sometimes they ran better, sometimes worse. First I made small independent films. It was only last year that the projects suddenly got bigger, but "The King" and "Dune" were not filmed in the hustle and bustle of Hollywood. Honestly? I don't even feel like a movie star.

Do you still feel the pressure from your fans? Do you want to live up to expectations?

No. What I feel is really just a big thank you. Because films are important. I believe that films can change the world. You are just my big love. I am incredibly happy that they obviously want to see me in it. It's fantastic how much films can move, isn't it? I remember seeing the Oscar-winning drama "Moonlight" in a sold-out movie theater and how it was felt after the show how deeply the whole audience was touched by the story. I work to make moments like this possible!

And what about your own life? Do you also allow space for all the successes?

To be honest, I struggle quite a bit: to find a kind of balance or rhythm between my complete dedication to playing and a normal one - if there is any! - Development of my living conditions. At 24, that's easier than when I'm 17. But I still have no idea what is good for me, apart from playing.

How old were you when you realized you really wanted to be an actor?

13 years. That was in high school in New York, we had an acting class that I was enrolled in. And after a few hours it was clear to me: "That's my thing!" But maybe it wasn't that coincidental. I grew up in the show business environment. ,

Your mother was a dancer, your uncle is director Rodman Flender, your grandfather is screenwriter Harold Flender, and you went to the acting and art specialist high school La Guardia, along with Madonna's daughter Lourdes. , ,, , ,

But what really shaped me was the experience of performing something on stage with other people and thus generating deep emotions. When I finished high school, I immediately looked for an agent and started going to auditions. During an audition I met a colleague who had just got a small role in a TV series. That was when I felt my ambition for the first time: I wanted to achieve something. I really wanted to be part of a really good project, whether on TV, cinema or theater. ,

In any case, you've worked hard over the past few months.

But how! After “The King” came Greta Gerwig's historical drama “Little Women”, followed by Wes Anderson's “The French Dispatch”, and finally the sci-fi adventure “Dune” for six months in a row. That was a lot, but I'm incredibly grateful for the opportunities. The good thing is that you don't have time to think about all the work, you just concentrate on the task in front of you. I don't want to disappoint anyone.

Who is a source of inspiration for you personally?

Talented colleagues with whom I work, for example Greta Gerwig, with whom I have already made two films.

What seduced you to “Little Women”, which now starts in late January?

Greta as director and Saoirse Ronan as main actress, whom I also knew from Ladybird before. We are already something of a gang. I am very proud of “Little Women” and will soon see it together with Saoirse, that has already been agreed.

Do you mind if fans are more interested in your amours than in your work?

What can I say? I can hardly influence what people think. Fortunately, it doesn't feel like many are interested in me privately. I know that it can be dangerous for young people if they focus too much on what the public thinks about them. So I decided to just focus on my job and my work.

What is going on in you when you are greeted and cheered by thousands at premieres in Toronto, Venice or anywhere else in the world?

In Venice I was just happy that so many, especially young people came to the premiere. It's not like people go crazy every night when I leave the house. A premiere like this is an exceptional situation, and that's exactly how I perceive it. It is not real life.

#Timothee Chalamet #timothée chalamet #little women #life #personal life #interview #2020

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calpalirwin · 4 years

Text

Choices

Summary: Ashton Irwin thought he had everything he needed in life in the form of his daughter. Funny the difference a choice can make.

A/N: Last chapter (finally!) Stay tuned for the epilogue to see how this all ends. Be sure to catch up on Chapters 1-7, up on my masterlist!

Content: I plead the fifth

Word Count: 1.7k

And away, and away we go!

Chapter 8

I decided not to tell my family about Taylor. To me, there was no point in arguing it. Taylor was back in my life because she was developing a relationship with Cassidy. It had nothing to do with me.

That didn’t stop my fingers from shaking as I made the drive to my parents or settle the churning in my stomach. “You okay?” Nic asked lowly, gripping my hand as we walked up to my parents door.

I offered her a wry smile. “Yeah,” I nodded.

“You sure?”

I nodded again before turning my attention to Cassidy. “Ready for your birthday?!”

“Yeah!” she cheered, jumping up onto the porch and pushing the door open.

“She’ll show up, Ash,” Nic reassured me. “She won’t let Cass down.”

I shrugged. If I thought I was having a hard time handling my nerves with the thought of Taylor being in my parents house again after all these years, Taylor probably had it worse. And as much as I didn’t want her to disappoint Cassidy, I couldn’t exactly blame her if she didn’t show up.

I could hear the chatter in the kitchen, voices high with excitement. I felt Nic’s hand tighten around mine- a silent assurance that I was working myself up in a frenzy over nothing, that she would stand by my side through it all. The tension in my shoulders eased slightly as I met her gaze, hopeful and warm. I raised our hands to graze my lips over her knuckles. “Well, here goes nothing.”

~~~

The party was in full swing. My parents backyard was filled with the joyful shrieks of kindergarteners while their parents milled around the edges of the lawn, watching the chaos or making small talk with other parents.

There was a yelled, “Daddy!” followed by a hand tugging on my own.

I spurted into my drink, looking apologetically at Calum as I shifted my gaze from him to my daughter. “Yes, love?”

“When can I open my presents?”

“Soon, love. Why don’t you go sit down, and I’ll get you some lunch. Do you want a hotdog, or a cheeseburger?”

“Momma!” Cassidy squealed suddenly, my question forgotten as she took over running.

Taylor stilled on the back porch, crouching down to wrap Cassidy in a hug. “Happy Birthday, sweetheart!”

I felt the eyes of my friends and family burn into my skin. “Dude…” Calum was the first to make a sound, shaking his head sadly.

“You’re talking to her again?” Luke asked.

“This isn’t going to end well…” Mike muttered under his breath.

“What is she doing here?” Lauren demanded.

My friends, parents, and siblings looked at me, expecting an answer to Lauren’s question. “It was what Cass wanted,” I said in a tone that dared them to keep pressing the issue.

While my family swallowed their protests, my friends weren’t so compliant. “Ash,” Calum said lowly, nodding his head off to the side.

“Watch Cass for a moment?” I asked Nic.

“Of course,” she smiled encouragingly.

“What the fuck, Ash?” they immediately rounded on me after we stepped out of earshot.

“”It was what Cass wanted,” I repeated. “What’s there to explain?”

“You let a six year old call the shots, Ash?!”

“No! I supported her! She wanted to meet her mom. I made sure that happened.”

“Alright,” Calum accepted my line of thought. “But what does this mean for you and Taylor? For you and Nic?”

“Yeah, Ash. Can we even trust Taylor? Last time she left it wasn’t pretty,” Luke reminded us.

“You think I haven’t thought about that? If Taylor leaves again… I don’t know what I’ll do. All I want to do is protect, Cass. But she has a right to know her mom.”

“We all want what’s best for, Cass. But who’s looking out for what’s best for you?” Mike questioned.

“No one needs to look after me, Mike. I got this. I know where I stand.”

“Does Taylor?”

Mike’s words would haunt me for weeks to come.

~~~

About a month after Cassidy’s birthday, I let Taylor take Cassidy for a night. Even though this wasn’t the first night Cassidy hadn’t spent with me, I never got used to how silent the apartment was when she was gone. And while I was happy Taylor was proving herself, part of me wished she would fail so the knot in my stomach about possibly giving Cassidy up for longer stints of time would go away.

“You okay?” Nic’s soft voice pulled me from my thoughts.

“Hmm?”

“You look like you’re a million miles away. What’s going on in that head of yours?”

“I don’t know how I’m gonna go every weekend without her. I don’t know if I want to. I just-”

“You’re her dad. Nobody can take that from you.”

“It doesn’t make me miss her less.”

“I know.”

After a night tangled in the sheets where Nic did her best to distract me- and distract me she did- she left shortly after a lazy morning spent in bed. “So now you’re leaving me, too?” I pouted, watching her get dressed.

“Hey,” she turned to point a finger at me. “That’s not playing fair.”

I rolled across the bed to pull her down with me, her yelp of surprise bouncing off the walls. “You don’t wanna distract me some more?” I whispered in her ear, pressing my lips along the column of her throat.

Her response was breathy as she told me, “Oh, that’s really not fair.”

“Alright, alright,” I chuckled, letting her go. “I know you got work to do. You’ll be back later, tonight?”

“Fingers crossed,” she said, kissing my cheek and getting out of bed again.

~~~

It was a slow crawl to the middle of the afternoon before the knock on the door that got cut off by Cassidy barreling in, screeching, “Daddy!”

“Love!” I matched her enthusiasm, crouching just in time to catch her body flying full force at me, the momentum carrying me onto my back, both of us filling up the apartment with our laughter. “Did you have fun with Momma?” I asked, sitting us upright.

“Uh-huh! Can she stay for dinner?!”

“Uh…” I looked up and over at Taylor who hovered in the doorway, Cassidy’s bag still slung over her shoulder.

“Plllleeeeeaaaasssseeee?!”

“If she wants to, yeah, love.”

Cassidy bounded to her feet, running back over to Taylor. “Will you stay, Momma?”

“Sure, sweetheart. But just for dinner, okay?”

“Okay!” Cassidy agreed, and we all knew in that moment that Taylor would be staying for a lot longer than just dinner.

“Night, love,” I said a few hours later, pulling the blanket up snugly around my little girl.

“Night Daddy. Night Momma. Love you.”

“Night, Cass. Love you, too, sweetheart,” Taylor smiled at her from the bedroom doorway.

“Love you,” I whispered, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“See, Ash?” Taylor asked me as I pulled Cassidy’s door closed.

“See what?”

“This,” she gestured about. “We could be this. Raising Cass together in one house.”

I rolled my eyes, moving past her towards the living room. “Yeah, I tried that once. You didn’t want the same.”

“I want it now,” she said, following after me, her hand catching my arm. “Doesn’t that count for something?”

“Of course it does. Cass is happy.”

“What about you?”

“Me?”

“Yes. Are you happy?”

“Yes… but even if I wasn’t, it’s not my happiness that matters.”

“So?”

“So, what, Tay?”

“So why don’t we try to be a family? I’m her mother, Ashton. Doesn’t she deserve to see us try? For her?”

“Don’t,” I warned, pulling back. “We tried us already. I’m struggling as is to trust you in Cass’ life. You think I’m crazy enough to trust you in mine again? You broke me, Taylor.”

“So you haven’t thought of it? Us being together again?”

“Of course I thought that!” I whisper-screamed at her. “I spent years hoping that you would call, or show up on my doorstep ready to be a mother to her. That you and I could be the way we used to be again. But you didn’t. And eventually I stopped hoping that moment would come.”

“If you hoped for it once, you can hope for it again. You said you didn’t trust me, but you learned how to do that again. What’s to say you can’t learn to love me again?”

“Because-” I started, but her lips were on mine before I could remind her that I was in love with Nic now, someone who never made me doubt what we had the way Taylor did.

I didn’t hear the front door open, just the soft gasp of a heart shattering like glass.

“Nic!” I pushed Taylor back, panic in my chest as I wheeled around, but she was already leaving just as quickly as she had entered. “Nic, it’s not what it looks like!” I called out as I ran after her.

“Doesn’t look like what, Ashton?!” she demanded, turning sharply around to face me, her face screwed up as she fought back against crying. “Doesn’t look like you were kissing, Taylor?! Is that what you were going to say?!”

“Baby, please!” I begged, not knowing where to even begin trying to get her to explain, just knowing that I needed to try, because in four months she had completely shifted my world on its head, and I wouldn’t know how to begin again without her in it.

“I stood by you while you kept your walls up because of Cass. I stood by every insecurity you had thinking you weren’t good enough because you were a dad, and had been hurt in the past. I even supported you through getting Taylor back in your life. God, Ashton, I fell in love with you, and your daughter! I fell in love with everything! And all I asked in return, all I ever asked was do NOT blindside me! And you couldn’t even do that!”

Each word pierced into me and I was useless to stop it. Again, I wracked my brain for the right words to say, but nothing could fix the look of betrayal in her eyes. A look I fully deserved because as much as I had tried to do right by Cassidy, I had ended up hurting the next most important love of my life. And she was slipping through my fingers, and I couldn’t stop it if I tried. “Nic,” I tried anyway, my voice sounding as broken as we both felt.

Tag List

@frontmanash @goeatsomelife @flameraine @creator-appreciator @cxddlyash @1-irwin-94 @sparkling-calm @tea4sykes @youngblood199456 @5-seconds-of-obsession @gosh-im-short @aquarius-hood1996 @talkfastromance4 @itjustkindahappenedreally @philthepegacorn @boomerash @teenwolfss24

#choices #chapter 8 #ashton irwin #ashton irwin fic #single dad!ashton #bree we waited MONTHS for THIS???!!!! FIX IT!!!!#*evil cackling*#galcal irwin

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dxmagedrose · 4 years

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@hammurabicomplex asked:

3, 11, 24!

Character Development Questions: Hard Mode || OPEN

3. WHAT IS/WAS ROSA HAULEY’S RELATIONSHIP WITH HER FATHER THOMAS HAULEY (@MONSTRUMVENANDI) LIKE?

Thomas & Rosa’s complicated father-daughter relationship is actually the primary driving force behind the Hauley’s family storyline underneath the ghosts & ghouls, the magic & bloodshed; it’s the underlying path through the subway map of family arcs and plotlines.

Rosa is the youngest daughter of the h o n o r a b l e & religious patriot of a homegrown police officer, and her own personal brand of daddy issues all seem to stem from that. Rosa was sort of expected to be the family’s suburban sweetheart, and G O D , for a while, she was. She wasn’t planned, they already had their two kids, and so she was seen as the unexpected princess of the cul-de-sac. Sit here, cross your T’s, dot your I’s. Strawberry Smacker’s & cheap clip-on earrings, she didn’t have the effortless charm of her brother James (@the-soldicr) or older sib Eli (@intheirhearts), but she was pretty and mild and sweet, well liked in her neighborhood. She was a good girl who did what she was told, and maybe that was why things had gone well enough for so long. She didn’t upset the status quo, but she felt it grow stagnant.

Rosa had always felt a disconnect from within her family, as if she somehow didn’t belong anywhere, but her dad made her feel the most seen out of any of them. If the inseparable siblings Eli & James were always off trying to one-up each other with physical feats of handstands and cartwheels, Dad would spend a little extra time showing Rosa some much needed attention listening to her wild stories. They did plenty of family activities, most bittersweet to remember being their family trips in the Rockies. Long hiking trails in the woods, stories around the campfire, family inside jokes and time at the woodland range learning how to shoot (as an officer in Denver for about 20 years, Thomas had made sure his kids had a decent enough aim early on). They were good times.

But Rosa felt trapped, stuck in a mold she didn’t fit in. She was one anonymous face in an endless sea of them, mundane daily routines to drag your feet to, meaningless conversations about the weather and what they were doing next Saturday. Her words grew more venomous, her behavior more daring. She yearned for something more. As a child, it was a dream to be an actress someday. Someone big, that people stopped to stare at. The kind of women with fancy pearls and trans-Atlantic accents on her favorite Old Hollywood films. But as lost as she was becoming in her social circle, pushing people away, things were still okay.

That was until Thomas had seen the things he’d seen; after completely uncharacteristically breaking an innocent man out of jail who would have fried for the unfathomable, he’d thought it best for his daughters to just disappear into thin air for their safety, for their lives to remain some semblance of a normal, but it only served to ruin his youngest, the most emotionally vulnerable and hollow of the kids going through her roughest years.

What was going on? Why wasn’t anyone telling her anything? Why didn’t Dad love her enough to stay?

She watched as her brother left for a war of his own, and her sister got some answers of the answers they were looking for. Thomas had left their family to protect others’ against the Darkness that he had seen, and his kids were safer without ever hearing from him, the now ex-cop that had broken a man out of jail and was on the run. It was his duty as an officer, as Catholic, to do what he could for those families. Whether or not any of his own family saw it that way was an entirely different matter.

Fond memories of their time became twisted from the strange and unexplained disappearance of her goody-two-shoes, uptight dad that had his cop buddies suddenly knocking on their door asking about it. What kind of a man refused to talk to his own daughters? Who chooses glory & religious psycho-babble over being a father for just four more years?

She felt like n o t h i n g to him, like she didn’t matter to anyone. James went off to fight his wars both overseas and back here at home with his father. Her mom was losing everything she loved and had picked up heavy drinking, while Rosa and her sister had a huge falling out on what happened to the books their big brother sent home detailling what had been going on. Eli left to chase after the answers the two siblings were so clearly owed, angry at the petulance of her sister. But to the youngest of the Hauleys, nothing mattered anymore. The people you loved, who said they loved you, could and would throw you away and never speak to you again the first second they got. Your own blood, with no answers to be had. The world was that unfair.

So, Rosa painted Thomas in her mind to be this evil, horrible entity in her life. She had nothing else telling her otherwise. He abandoned her. He left his perfect family with no explanation, ruined everything they ever had.

Rosa couldn’t give a fuck about anyone else anymore. The world was so clearly every man for himself. No one was there for you. No one had your back. The world was made of absolute chaos, and nothing was sacred or safe.

Thomas became the villain in her story, all the way up until the moment that the real villain was who she had become after all she had done in her anger of losing him to something she didn’t understand and taking it out on everyone else she could worm herself into the lives of.

Because of Thomas, Rosa doesn’t trust people who love her, and because she doesn’t trust people who love her, she’ll become anything you want until she’s done.

Once Thomas has gotten wind of everything she’s done, once he finds out that she’s become everything he’s fought against, he has to decide how far he’s willing to take his duty to keep Heaven & Hell aligned.

~ O V E R A L L , ~ the biggest conflicts between Rosa & Thomas can be summed up in the Trolley Problem - there’s a train speeding towards two tracks, and on one side are five innocent strangers, and on the other side are one of your loved ones. The muses only have three seconds to choose which side dies and which side survives, and Thomas will forever save the heartache of five innocent families he could protect, and Rosa will forever choose to never have to lose the person she cares about, no matter what.

[ In her crime / non-magic verses, things are only a little bit different; her dad Thomas & her mom Lauren split up because of an intense occult-crimes case that got Thomas offered up a job with the FBI & left Rosa with the same echoes of a relationship minus the demons and ghosts. ]

#long post for ts #||: && life is about creating yourself ( headcanons );#||: && she speaks her mind ( asks );#||: && she speaks her mind ( meme response );#( tbh thanks for sending these in! got me out of my rut to ramble about my girl )#hammurabicomplex #( thomas tag. )

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