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#my brain will literally not allow it!!!
jinkxndela · 2 years
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who’s y’all’s chosen fave queen? Like they chose you, you didn’t choose them and now no one will ever compare to them no matter what…
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normalbirb · 5 months
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Having adhd is like being stuck in rooms with no exits and then told by neurotypicals i should have just done like them and walked through a door
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caeslxys · 19 days
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I’ve mentioned this elsewhere but it feels relevant again in light of the most recent episode. Something that’s really fascinating to me about Orym’s grief in comparison to the rest of the hells’ grief is that his is the youngest/most fresh and because of that tends to be the most volatile when it is triggered (aside from FCG, who was two and obviously The Most volatile when triggered.)
As in: prior to the attack on Zephrah, Orym was leading a normal, happy, casual life! with family who loved him and still do! Grief was something that was inflicted upon him via Ludinus’ machinations, whereas with characters like Imogen or Ashton, grief has been the background tapestry of their entire lives. And I think that shows in how the rest of them are largely able to, if not see past completely (Imogen/Laudna/Chetney) then at least temper/direct their vitriol or grief (Ashton/Fearne/Chetney again) to where it is most effective. (There is a glaring reason, for example, that Imogen scolded Orym for the way he reacted to Liliana and not Ashton. Because Ashton’s anger was directed in a way that was ultimately protective of Imogen—most effective—and Orym’s was founded solely in his personal grief.)
He wants Imogen to have her mom and he wants Lilliana to be salvageable for Imogen because he loves Imogen. But his love for the people in his present actively and consistently tend to conflict with the love he has for the people in his past. They are in a constant battle and Orym—he cannot fathom losing either of them.
(Or, to that point, recognize that allowing empathy to take root in him for the enemy isn't losing one of them.)
It is deeply poignant, then, that Orym’s grief is symbolized by both a sword and shield. It is something he wields as a blade when he feels his philosophy being threatened by certain conversational threads (as he believes it is one of the only things he has left of Will and Derrig, and is therefore desperately clinging onto with both bloody hands even if it makes him, occasionally, a hypocrite), but also something he can use in defense of the people he presently loves—if that provocative, blade-grief side of him does not push them—or himself—away first.
(it won’t—he is as loved by the hells as he loves them. he just needs to—as laudna so beautifully said—say and hear it more often.)
#critical role#cr spoilers#bells hells#orym of the air ashari#cr meta#imogen temult#ashton greymoore#liliana temult#this is genuinely completely written in good faith as someone who loves orym#but is also about orym and so will inevitably end up being completely misconstrued and made into discourse. alas#I could talk about how Orym’s unwillingness to allow the hells to actually finish/come to a solid conclusion on Philosophy Talk#is directly connected to one of the largest criticisms of c3 (that they are constantly having these conversations)#all day. alas. engaging with orym’s flaws tends to make people upset#it is ESP prevelant when he walks off after exclaiming ‘they (vangaurd) are NOT right’#which was not only never said but wasn’t even what they were talking about#he even admits as much to imogen like ten minutes later! that he is incapable of viewing it objectively#which is 100% justifiable and understandable but simultaneously does not make his grief alone the most important perspective in the world#also bc i fear ppl will play semantics on my tags yes the line ‘i hope she’s right’ was said but it was from ASHTON#who does not believe they are at all and wasn’t saying they actively WERE right. orym just heard something to latch onto and ran with it#ultimately there is a reason orym only admitted that he was struggling when he had stepped away to talk to dorian#who has not been around and thusly has not changed once n orym's eyes#and it isn't that the hells never check in or care. they do. they have several times over#it is dishonest to say they haven't#the actual reason is that all of this is something He Is Aware Of. he doesn't mention it bc he KNOWS it's hypocritical and selfish#he says as much!#EXHALES. @ MY OWN BRAIN CAN WE THINK ABT MOG AGAIN. FYRA RAI EVEN. FOR ME.#posting this literally at 8 in the morning so I can get my thoughts out of my brain but also attempt to immediately make this post invisibl
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youthsbandana · 11 months
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Having ADHD is just like:
I'm sorry.
I know it's inconvenient.
I'm sorry.
I know it's annoying.
I'm sorry.
I know it's selfish.
I'm sorry...
I know I shouldn't say sorry because an apology without change is manipulation.
I'm sorry.
I know I can't change my behavior; I've tried.
I'm sorry
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softcryz · 4 months
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Cat with homophobia in it's eyes
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kicktwine · 9 months
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miskellaneous
#tumblr is still my doodle archive#my art#venitas#ffxiv#kh#sprawl au#ooooo veni you are so creature#first of all. Bunny. Bnnuy. I would like to consider the bunny. Sorry for trapping him he’s doing plot in my brain#I drew vani a while ago but I should have made him a catboy. I will next time I draw him#second of all back in pic order#ari is trying to be kind but violence is extremely fun for him. He loves it. He loves to gloat and he loves to cackle#if he’s allowed at a target for his pent up rage and aggression he gets weird#second of all I’ve been thinking about gender as one does. And what it would look like 5000 years in the future#so like in sprawl. there’s an entire timeline of gender studies and anthropology that leads from our time#through where the entire notion COMPLETELY fell apart; through where there was a resurgence of ancient gender roles#back and forth and in circles and where new things sprung up and fell and debates about the validity of self went nuts#Xion knows a lot about it bc she will claim trans as a label vanitas also knows a lot of things because he Doesn’t consider himself#trans. vens confused he was literally never taught about any of this. unity(divine) has its own… kinda messed up way of doing it#he got lost somewhere around the advent of gene augmentation and nonhuman drag (she didn’t have to go into that detail she just thinks it’s#really cool)#(Also that was really early —)#Anyways. vanitas is also getting his sense of touch back up there. xions a miracle worker#transgender is even a slightly archaic term. it completely died for about a thousand years and then came back with a retro wave
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Straight up had a dream last night that DC revealed that Bart and Kon were dating and it was in the WILDEST FUCKING WAY.
K, so picture this: Clark needs someone to fly around disguised as him for a plan. So Clark goes through the options in his head: Bruce can't fly, MM is off world, Jon is too much of a twink to be believable, Kara is blonde, Kon is.... Perfect! With a person in mind who would be perfect for his plan, Clark flies off to find Kon.
Cut to Judy Garrick zipping around the Garrick's house. Joan is quietly scrapbooking at the kitchen table and Judy is bored out of her mind. Judy asks Joan if there is anything she can do because she is so unbelievably bored.
Joan responds, very calmly, that she can hear "your brother's boyfriend touching down in the backyard, so why don't you go ask him?"
Judy's face jumps from emotion to emotion as three things are revealed at once. 1) Joan considers Bart to be a son and thus, Judy's brother, 2) Judy's new brother is not straight and 3) Bart has a boyfriend who is in the backyard.
So Judy immediately runs to the backyard and is stunned to bump into Clark (who was there looking for Kon) and then the dream continued on with the two of them hunting down Bart&Kon (who were just at school being normal goddammit!!!) but the entire time Judy is secretly out for blood because she thinks that Joan was referring to Clark and that this adult man is trying to date her new little brother and Judy keeps trying to kill him but it doesn't work because Clark is Kryptonian (and oblivious to the attempted homicides).
Anyway, wild dream all around.
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firstofficerkittycat · 2 months
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tribute to the most beautiful first ever homo on my television screen
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nirrvana · 4 months
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why do all of my favorite characters keep getting impaled both literally and metaphorically by a thousand sword blows representing the eternal weight of hatred and pain they must carry all by themselves why does this keep happening (this is about anthy himemiya and xie lian)
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blujayonthewing · 20 days
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pitched battle inside my brain between the part of me that's desperately shaking myself by the shoulders going "YOU HAVE GOT TO ACTUALLY LIVE THE KIND OF LIFE YOU IMAGINE INSTEAD OF JUST SITTING AROUND IMAGINING IT UNTIL YOU DIE!!" and the part of me that's clutching my face going "is this allowed? is this allowed?? is this allowed???"
#trying to plan a solo cicada pilgrimage and getting brainworms about it yeehaw#'making a lot of plans and never actually doing things in real life' has been a problem for literally as long as I can remember#but I also feel like I've developed a learned helplessness over the last several years that's gotten worse as I've gotten older??#me age twenty: I think I'm gonna take myself to chicago next week because I feel like going to the zoo#me age thirty: am I allowed to go camping alone. am I allowed to do a solo road trip. I need a grownup#to be extremely clear I am very much allowed and this is not justin's fault and I don't know where it comes from#like I'll run things by him lowkey seeking 'permission' that I don't even need and he'll be like 'yeah that sounds good to me'#and then I STILL won't do the thing because like. my brain keeps insisting there needs to be a grownup in charge?? HELLO I'M GROWNUP#anyway I'm doing cicada trip solo BECAUSE-- the drive is so long I want to do five days because two of them will just be driving#and he can't get that much time off work right now#AND because I literally only want to Be Camping and Looking At Bugs but he'd get bored of a week of that he likes Activities#me this morning getting insecure and weird: what are your thoughts... on cicada voyage....#him after at first not even understanding the question: I'm SO excited for you?? you deserve to get to go absolutely feral???#I do.... ;n; 💕 why am I so scared to be a person.......#about me#cicada quest
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koddlet · 4 months
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hey uh do you have any advice for getting into zine making? especially like the kind of multimedia/collage ones? idk i think they're cool and i maybe want to start making some but i dont know how to start
start with scraps! receipts, tickets, offcuts, etc. takes the pressure off a bit. my first collage zine was put together with receipts and packaging cutouts! it was just about my groceries
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you could do something like that. orrr collect some bits and bobs to cut/tear some shapes and stick them onto the pages. very simple but it could be a way to try out different ways of securing them, like using stitch, staples, tape. most of the time its to get a fun effect, but also glue isn't always enough. like i had to sew the netting in the 2nd image ^
tbh i find it kinda hard to give advice with multimedia/collage because for me, it's very much just jumping straight into it. if i think about it too much i get Extremely caught up in details and it's not fun, but you might work better with more planning! also don't be scared to rip or cover something if it's not working. done that many times 👍
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girlbossblackbeard · 1 year
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idk if y'all have truly given enough thought to the fact that in episode 1, as stede is climbing back up the ladder after having completed his first raid on that tiny boat and having stolen that raggedy-ass cup of dead leaves, the fisherman tells him "look after the plant!" and in episode 9, as the crew is helping defend stede's status as a legitimate pirate, they present the plant to chauncy and we see that it is now lush green and fully thriving, having been obviously well taken-care of over the last few months during stede's high-seas adventures. i, too, have not given enough thought to this small detail and teased out the heart-wrenching implications of it because every time i think about it for longer than .001 seconds i get the strong urge to eat sheet metal :)
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rawliverandgoronspice · 8 months
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behold: my second least favorite string of words in the entirety of Tears of the Kingdom.
(it's a little less transparent why this time so I'll explain my thoughts under the cut)
So why do I not like this?
In so many words: because if you remove it, the scene still works, but you lose the moral certainty of what is going on.
This single sentence does so much legwork for the entire game (the kind I dislike), to the point where I'm about 60% sure it's the product of a rework that realized how ambiguous Rauru's position was as the Good Rightful King and needed to nervously reassure the players that Ganondorf Is and Always Was the Invader, Actually.
(no matter that it leaves the gerudos in this awkward in-between state of both invaders and victims, while never dwelling in the specifics of their history and their own agency in the entire thing; brushed off as a sin they have to expiate through loyalty to the winners of that particular strife, but without explicitely blaming them either to avoid the implications of what that would have looked like)
If you remove it, not only do you lose a pretty clunky line that detracts from Ganondorf's intimidating presence (who is he even speaking to? who needs to hear this right now?) that honestly speaks for itself when it comes to his experience with warfare, but also you lose any tension and any mystery regarding why he is attacking in the first place.
You also... kind of rob Ganondorf's motivations of their meaning. "Hyrule will bow down before me" leads to asking... why? What does he want? What does he see in those lands? And what little we get with Rauru and then Link during the final fight begs more questions; why do you prefer hardship to peace? Why do you value strength? What leads you to want to rule a land devoid of survivors, become a king without a kingdom? I don't think we ever get satisfactory answers. If you remove this sentence, on the other hand... Subtextually, it becomes pretty clear that his motivations is that he felt threatened by Rauru's power, which is ripe with subtext and questions about whether this is a legitimate reaction, whether his "no survivor" stance is due to a feeling of betrayal when his own people turned against him post the Demon King shenanigans... I'm not saying it would fix the entire game's writing, far from it, but it would already do *so much more*.
(genuinely, I think he could have stayed completely silent during the Molduga Assault, speaking only in the Show of Fealty before going completely nuts after Sonia's murder, and it would have worked MUCH better in terms of characterization but anyway anyway
EDIT: ALSO!!! that way he wouldn't speak hylian to fellow gerudos, which is weird inherently)
Without this line, the core of the tension between the gerudos and Hyrule comes front in his conversation with Rauru; it allows the cause of his hostility to be Rauru's invitations, that he would have taken as a threat, and would have still made him warlike and domineering without making him cartoonishly flat, because, once again, Rauru is not acting in a particularly more legitimate way when Zelda arrives in Ancient Hyrule; and it would have been... fair to point that out. And make for better characterization for Rauru, and Sonia, and Mineru, and everybody. But the priority was for Hyrule to be pictured as unquestionably holy; always legitimate, always truthful, always beautiful, always just.
Also, and this is more of a nitpick but: why would Ganondorf want Hyrule, specifically, to bow down before him also? Was he at war with the rest of the disparate tribes before, and just carried on his ambitions to the very very newly-founded kingdom as they allied under a new banner? (though it seems to be implies the lands were crawling under monsters in a generic sense, and not Ganondorf's attacks in particular) Why would he even consider Hyrule a legitimate entity worth taking over then, if it is so new, born from the will of a powerful rival, founded by what is basically a stranger to these lands? Why would he covet something so young instead of destroying it and just calling the lands Gerudo Lands II or Grooseland or something?
I don't think any of that was even accounted for, because, beyond everything else: to me, this sentence is so clearly and painfully crammed in here to shield Hyrule from any potential blame and immediately characterize Ganondorf as Bad without having to remove any of the causes that could lead one to side-eye Rauru's little pet project as equally questionable.
Beyond the clumsiness, it is cowardly --and, I think, a little damning.
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designernishiki · 8 months
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is there a comprehensive list somewhere of all the serious injuries kiryu has ever gotten because man am i curious. i want to know the Full Scope of how fucked up this man’s body must be
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randxmthxughts · 1 year
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iswtg no offense to any writers, anyone who writes these fics, i enjoy reading them a lot
i just have these moments when i'm in the middle of reading human!reader x jake sully smut, enjoying myself, and then my stupid brain reminds me of the actual size comparison between people and na'vi, and i'm likeee
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look at them!! and spider's is like 6'0
there is no fucking way, my 5'3 self would be ripped in half no joke
and the lips, like how am i going to kiss jake? like his mouth is probably two or three times bigger than mine?
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and i just remembered all of the tonowari smut? hello? the dude is almost 3 meters in height
that's it, just wanted to get it off my chest
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chirpsythismorning · 1 year
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Idk what’s worse, the fact that there are milkvans out there that believe El commissioned Will’s painting, or that a majority of milkvans believe she didn’t, but still think everything Will said to Mike in the van scene applies to how El feels about Mike as well. And honestly, how could they not? Mike looked very happy and emotional hearing Will's words in the van... no shit they're hoping that's how El feels.
But El never called Mike the heart. El never said she needed Mike and always will. Those words coming from Will's feelings for Mike, then being used to inspire Mike to give his monologue to El, was disingenuous bc it was never El’s feelings being responded to in the first place.
‘It only works if it comes from you’
That’s the whole problem. It didn’t work bc it was coming from Will, not El.
IF everything Will said applied to El, why not have it come from her?
No, but seriously??
Is s5 just going to open up to El apologizing to Mike for ignoring him after the monologue, followed by her just repeating everything Will said with her own twist and Mike being like cool!! That works for me!
The problem with making the narrative choice to instead focus on Will's feelings at the forefront, only to follow it up with El's identical feelings, does nothing but make the whole thing fall flat.
Instead of seeing this main couple voice their love for each other themselves, I gotta have her brother do it for her?? And only then after he does it, can I see her do it in like a 2.0 version of sorts????
So many milkvans are willing to acknowledge that Mike and El’s dynamic throughout the series is riddled frivolous conflict more than anything, with little to no time dedicated to showing the development that actually matters. They say they wish the show spent more time with them actually face to face acknowledging how they both feel verbally without the constant cloud of some other third party interfering, causing them to have issues. They say that this time though, they think the Duffers will magically pull through for them and go from what they believe is shitty writing to ‘good’ writing, based in terms of how they'll handle Mike and El's relationship in s5...
But that's not realistic on any front, milkvan, byler or otherwise.
And that's a big part of the problem, bc they know the pacing has not been great for them, and they NEED the show to just give them Mike and El so they can be happy, but that's not how you build up suspense for a love story. And dragging out Mike and El any more, would just be a repeat of every other season before. They reached their peak and so they can only down from here. That's kind of the whole point.
One thing to note is that the Duffers always create conflict for the incompatible couple early in a season, so that the audience doesn’t feel too uncomfortable with the idea of considering the other option that’s at the forefront for the rest of the season.
This will ESPECIALLY be the case for byler, bc Will already has home wrecker allegations as it is. And it's also a highly controversial queer ship, and so people are going to be making claims left and right that it’s wrong bc of xyz.
They just wont be able to have byler scenes loaded with romantic tension all season long, more than any other season, and with the story making it more obvious they want us to root for them, while also having Mike and El still be together. And it's simply bc the reality is the Duffers have a record of doing the complete opposite of that.
This is also endgame territory, so there is a serious pressure on the writers part to get their audience to be closer to rooting for byler than denying it even being possible. Meaning they NEED the audience to be watching their first kiss and, for better or worse, be thinking, FINALLY just get it over with already!
Also what's El's supposed to be up to while this is happening? Are we assuming she's just stringing along waiting for Mike to get his shit together? Like Jesus!
El has every right to say her piece and get that shit over with, by episode 1 or 2 at the latest. She could be a focused on Max and her family and friends, which if you'll note also includes Mike and Will, but instead this time without the pressure of her having to hope that something will turn around and suddenly Mike will decide he finally loves her... She doesn't deserve that.
Byler is clearly the route they are taking. If that is the plan, it's time to make this separation so that the audience is finally confronted with viewing Mike and El without the constant rose tinted love at first sight goggles, and instead give them a chance to be their authentic selves.
And I think El, being a character that could barely speak in s1, that her not getting her own voice in this situation is fucking serious. El not being able to say those words to Mike herself, like there's a reason for that. And so when she finally does get to say how she feels, there isn't going to be any room for subtext or misunderstanding, not on the audiences part nor Mike's. El has always been pretty clear about what she wants and I think that will apply in s5 now more than ever.
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