#my own autistic experience

[starplatinumnun]

can you infodump to me? (i love you) is this overwhelming? (i love you) is this the right texture? (i love you) is it ok to touch you? (i love you) do you want the subtitles on? (i love you) do you want to go somewhere less noisy? (i love you)

#actuallyautistic #autism #autistic #this is about what love feels like to me as an autistic person with neurotypical family and friends #you are more than welcome to add your own experiences! #red instead #autism acceptance #neurodivergent #my writing

[emo-batboy]

Things Battinson Totally Did During His First Year of University

Using Unhinged or Odd Things I Also Did as a College Freshman :D

Note: for this list, let’s believe Bruce was living in an (admittedly expensive and swanky) dorm because it is required for first-years, especially those entering at a young age, and Alfred told him he needed to make friends. Also yes I did every single thing on this list. I never claimed to be a role model

Bruce, to his TA: I’m so sorry I’m late to class. I gave blood a few hours ago and almost fainted on the way here, but it won’t happen again.

Signs up for a class called “Age of Dinosaurs” despite it not being required whatsoever and proceeds to work his entire schedule around it

Bruce: Your mental health is super important. If you think you should see the on-campus therapist, go see them. Friend: Fine. I’ll sign up for therapy if you sign up for therapy too. Bruce: Hold on-

Finds a loophole in his housing contract that allows him to get a pet frog, calls him kermit :)

Gets a second frog because Kermit was lonely, names it Constantine after Muppets Most Wanted, then realizes that they’re gay for each other. Wonders if the rainbow-colored rocks he got them triggered anything

Swings dramatically between calling Alfred every single day and ghosting him for weeks, cries when he realizes what he did

“Accidentally” joins the student body council, doesn’t know what he’s doing, gets re-elected anyway

Molds a dragon out of Laffy Taffy instead of doing his work

Bruce: *joins Honors, gets all A’s, takes the max amount of classes, has several minors, overachieves* Also Bruce: I’m a failure.

Breaks into a building after hours to study because NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO SHUT THE FUCK UP AT THE LIBRARY

Bruce: I will not get seasonal depression this year. Bruce: *gets real and seasonal depression that year*

Meticulously schedules his day with a color-coded planner because if he sits down for too long, the thoughts will consume him

Gives a presentation to his rhetoric class on how much he likes Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse (it is 20 minutes long)

Successfully allocates funding from the student body council to pay for free feminine products in the dorms OUT OF SPITE because someone said it couldn't be done. fuck you, Andrew

Bruce: It is not an all-nighter if I go to sleep before my first class. Friend: It is 7:30am, the sun is in the sky, and your first class is at 12:30. Bruce: But I am getting sleep.

Refuses to go anywhere without his backpack because what if he needs three notebooks at once

Loses over 20 pounds because ✨stress✨ and scares the shit out of Alfred when he comes home for Thanksgiving

Argues with his TA over the one (1) question he got wrong on his Dinosaur exam

Bruce, calling Alfred: Hello father figure. How do I do taxes? Do I have to do them myself? Also, I think I’m having a panic attack.

Joins in on a charity arts-and-crafts project that gives kids books with matching activities made by volunteers, proceeds to commandeer the project because “it’s not color-blind friendly” and rewrites the instructions for everyone

Makes a murder wall

Goes to one (1) sports game and proceeds to leave in the first ten minutes because it’s way too loud wtf is wrong with people

Professor, addressing the lecture hall: I dare you to write an essay about these two sentences. Bruce: *writes an essay about six words, gets a 100, never even read the book*

Crawls into the ceiling for some alone time

Ghosts someone after a date because he’s too scared to tell them he didn’t know it was a date in the first place and now he feels bad

Classmate: How tf does he walk across campus that fast? I go in the same direction he does on my bike, and he’s always ahead of me. Bruce: *is gay sprinting to Dinosaur class*

Refuses to let others use his Favorite Pen TM

Constantly gets mistaken for a Grad Student because he is “so wise and mature” (bestie, that’s the autism)

Alfred: *casually mentions he got into a car accident through text* Bruce: *replies with a meme while hyperventilating because he doesn’t know what to do with that information??!*

Wears a suit to one of his finals

Regularly eats non-organic food for the first time in his life, proceeds to learn about several allergies Alfred forgot to mention he has

Writes “What is a Hot Pocket?” in calligraphy and proceeds to laugh his ass off alone in his dorm because he is so exhausted he’s reached the point of delusion

Locks himself out of his dorm right before class, frantically asks the floor group chat if someone can help, proceeds to tell the nice gay man on the floor who saved him “I love you” because his social skills have hit rock bottom

Makes a little music album display next to his desk for his favorite band (Nirvana) His friends call it a shrine, and they are technically correct

Has a blacklist of people he refuses to interact with because Reasons

Counselor: What do you want to do when you graduate? Bruce: *gestures vaguely*

Refuses to take the bus because there are people in there and he doesn’t like those

Loses one of his frogs, how tf did he do that, they’re fully aquatic, oh fuck, this is probably why they got rid of that loophole a year later because unbeknownst to Bruce, he accidentally started a frog revolution in the dorms, btw he SWEARS he did not mean to do that

Has two trash cans in his room: one for the Good Garbage, and one for the Bad Garbage. Only Bruce knows which is which

Bruce: *writes a creative piece about a ship’s final thoughts as it sinks, bringing its passengers down with it* TA: Absolutely lovely, Bruce, but are you okay?

Goes on Night Walks, keeps himself safe by maintaining a level 12 resting bitch face at all times

Earns the nickname “8th floor cryptid” after pacing the halls at 3am when it’s too cold for Night Walks (honestly tho how tf didn’t he get the nickname earlier?)

Bruce: Do you think a depressed person could do this? Bruce: *has a manic episode*

Okay that's all love you BYE

#cryptid Bruce Wayne #college au #does this count if op is the au #fully nocturnal unhinged madman Bruce but make him like 17 and full of crippling separation anxiety and autism #bruce would rather die than inconvenience a professor but hE KNOWS HIS DINOSAURS #Dino class was my fav one in uni hands down #yes i am insane thank you for asking #originally this was just going to be a normal list but I kept taking from my own experience then said “fuck it I'm the captain now” #one of these was a lie tho...the murder wall was third year :/ #battinson #bruce wayne #batman #the batman 2022 #batman 2022 #the batman #battinson needs a hug #dc universe #gotham #autistic bruce wayne

[chaoticvi]

caitlyn kiramman + autistic traits

(insp.)

#arcaneedit #arcane #arcane netflix #netflixedit #arcanedaily #caitlyn kiramman #caitlyn the sheriff of piltover #autistic!caitlyn is my personal headcanon its okay if you have different hc for her <3 #based on my own experience as an autistic person #mine: gifs

[canisalbus]

i love how you draw i love how you render i love how you conceptualize your characters and your world...your work is such a huge Autism Resonance Moment for me (have you said whether you have autism? well even if you dont, my autism is resonanting hardcore with everything youre doing here keep it up!!!)

#answered #anonymous #thank you that was such a nice thing to say! #I'm autistic yeah #got diagnosed as an adult but it definitely explained a whole bunch of things #and I'm familiar with the Autism Resonance feeling it's this electrifying “oh snap” sort of moment of appreciation and deeper understanding #at least in my experience #united by neurodiversity #own art

[infiniteorangethethird]

"but aren't you afraid that using labels will limit you" the only thing labels (that I chose for myself) ever did to me was make me realize it was okay to be different and free me from expectations I could never live up to even if I tried (and boy did I try and fail so hard)

#neurodivergent #autistic #actually autistic #autism #adhd #actually adhd #asexual #ace #aromantic #aro #loveless #<- labels ppl told me i shouldn't use bc i 'shouldn't be #putting myself into boxes and limiting my experiences and behaviors' #but im plenty sure there are a metric fuckton of others #feel free to add your own

[time-woods]

Coming from what you just posted on Kofi, does being torn into feel good for Sidus? I know you wrote something along the lines of it hurting, but he wants Carma to do it... or is it more of the intimacy/trust that comes with it, maybe along the lines of revealing Sidus's "true" form?

good ask anon

it does hurt- but for certain reasons (that come up in the fic im doing)) sensations are weird for him- experiences in general. but it is also very much an intimacy thing- having someone be able to be that close to you- be that close to *what* you are, is a big part of it. (also yea def a trust thing- this also becomes relevant in the fic))

the best way i can explain how it feels for Sīdus would be like- i dont know how many of you have nerve damage but ill try to explain that sensation too (my experiences with it at least)- so when you touch your skin you feel it yea? that but you still feel it but not quite right- its like having the feeling under the skin but not on the skin your touching, just whats under it. its like the sensation of it is foggy and dull but you can still feel it- it can still hurt too. But for Sīdus its that really strange dampened sensory feeling

#chasing stars au #asks #its really hard to describe the feeling of technically the lack of feeling but still feeling #me ? projecting more of my own experiences ? neeever #but yea this can def just be read as an autistic view of sensory feelings in intimacy (mecore)

[across-every-universe]

sometimes you are simply not the target audience

#the last time one of my autism selfship positivity posts got popular #someone reblogged it being VERY angry that i didn’t say ‘auDHD’ instead of autistic #sometimes ya just want to reach out to your own specific community yk #also i don’t have ADHD so i can’t really speak to that experience #so here’s hoping that doesn’t happen now it’s making the rounds again lol

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

….me irl

Life in an Autism World

Autism meme

#autism #actually autistic #I never ask for help #I prefer to do things on my own #autism experiences #i’m sure some of you can relate #life in an autism world (facebook) #feel free to share/reblog #tw bright colors #tw eye strain

[triptychofvoids]

Your comic abt the empathy test made me wanna take the test myself and I also scored under 30....the autism won this battle

#for the record you can be autistic and also be extremely empathetic! #it is fairly common to have either very high or very low empathy with autism #but as is usually the case there are always exceptions #and not every single autistic person will have low empathy. or high empathy. #that being said #i am tired of people with low empathy being seen as horrible unfeeling monsters #and so i am more than happy to talk about it and my own experiences with low empathy as well #someone has to #the doc is in

[t4tozier]

what a lovely day to post about disabled richie tozier (cw: description of tics and stims!)

after the fall out of the deadlights, he severely fucks up his knees and ankles

the adrenaline keeps him going until they get out of neibolt at which point he just collapses

he leaves the hospital with knee braces and crutches and it’s a little scary at first

he’s never had any issues with walking other than then general getting-old charlie horses when he stretches the wrong way, so suddenly needing multiple aids is jarring

but eddie’s in a wheelchair now because of his spinal cord injury, so at least they can commiserate

after a few months, richie’s able to walk slowly just using the braces, but every step hurts

the under-arm crutches also sucked, though, so he finds himself using forearm crutches for anything more than walking around the house

and sometimes even then

he’s not off balance, he can stand on his own, but sometimes he wishes he had the chair because standing for too long in one place hurts, too

he’s mostly neutral about his aids but he does love helping eddie decorate his wheelchair bc he knows it’s been a huge adjustment

he slapped an old tour sticker on the back at one point and even though eddie pretends to hate it they both know it’s one of his favorites

richie’s known he’s autistic for a long time

he has some other tic disorder but he’s never looked too much into it or been diagnosed because it hasn’t been severe enough for doctors to care or recognize it as more than his normal stimming

and he doesn’t particularly care either—it’s just another part of him and getting an official diagnosis won’t actually do anything for him

he used to rock back and forth on his toes and bounce his leg a lot but that got a lot more painful after derry 2.0 so he’s had to adapt

he finds himself shaking his hands a lot more, and he still rocks when he’s sitting down

he chews on straws so much that eddie finally gets him one of those silicone ones and richie’s elated

he bites through it in a week

his tics mainly come out more when he’s stressed or intoxicated; they tend to lean more physical when stressed and verbal when he’s drunk or high and he doesn’t know why

his head/neck jerks so hard he strains muscles and he’s hit his chest with enough force to bruise before but he doesn’t try to avoid them because he knows it’ll only make it worse

when he’s drunk he does a lot of humming and whistling—he can perfectly mimic the tweet whistle/ringtone

he actually doesn’t have coprolalia, although he will absolutely blame his lack of filter on his tics if needed

the man did not know what ableism was until derry but now he calls the losers out all the time as a joke

he had a meltdown when mike called him

he spends so much of his time masking around other people that it was hard for him to drop it and he has meltdowns more frequently than he really should as a result

he’s finally started to relax around the losers like he used to, but some days he puts the wrong clothes on and he made the last of the cinnamon raisin toast last night when he got the munchies and there are too many dishes in the sink and when he tries to wash them the water gets inside of the gloves and everything’s just itch itch wet wrong bad and eddie finds him curled in a ball on the floor of the kitchen

when this happens, eddie makes sure richie has his phone so he can text if he wants and he gets the cinnamon raisin bread delivered and has richie change into comfier clothes when he’s ready to move and then they go watch a movie with richie’s head in eddie’s lap and everything is always loud loud loud in richie’s head but for a few minutes, at least, it’s quiet

#who said all of that… #anyway #if anyone uses braces or crutches and there’s anything wrong about what i said lmk #most of this is based on my own experience of disability but i do not use those aids! #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #reddie #bc i couldn’t talk about post derry and not include eddie w a spinal cord injury #autistic richie tozier #disabled eddie kaspbrak #disabled richie tozier

[bumble-punch]

Completely gender-apathetic Gillion Tidestrider my beloved. Gender is a social construct why would you worry about gender when there's DESTINY

He uses he/him pronouns because that's what everyone has always referred to him as and he doesn't care

He doesn't feel like any particular gender, and it takes him a while to learn that some people do and that it's important to them

When he was a kid, he used to misgender the adults around him a lot because he didn't really understand what the difference was and it all seemed totally arbitary and confusing to him

Also, in the Undersea, gender doesn't have any link to biological sex

#gillion tidestrider #my autistic gender apathetic ass is projecting my own experiences in case you couldnt tell

[viiinz]

autism be damned my boy can do calligraphy and knows a lot about capital punishment

#prince myshkin #lev nikolayevitch myshkin #the idiot #myshkin #no but i really think there are legitimate reasons to argue that myshkin could be seen as an autistic character #other than the fact that he literally checks of every criteria #there's also the fact that there is a frequent comorbidity of epilepsy and autism #which makes me think (tho i have not nearly done enough research on this to make any actual claims) #that there is a possibility that traits which we would today associate with autism could back in the day #before the term autism even existed #could be seen as something common among epicleptic people #and given that myshkin is already canonically neurodivergent and epileptic #it really isn't a stretch to say that if we were to apply modern day terminology on a 19th century character #he could be seen as an early example of an autistic character #which makes it very interesting to note how people in the book view and interact with him #(and even without the possible autism he's still a canon neurodivergent character cast as the protagonist in a 19th century book #which on its own is really interesting #especially considering the fact that dostoyevsky drew from experiences with his own epilepsy) #for example canon infantilization (which this post is definitely a joke on) the whole 'idiot' thing etc. #also the way he views himself! he has so much internalised ableism #i also think it's interesting that another character that exhibits a lot of autistic traits is kirillov #who's also canonically epileptic #my post #vince talks

[saldotz]

The Schmidt family and Autism, using patterns, dialogue and sources from both the Movie and novel adaptation

NOTE: These are all my personal understandings of their Behavior and mannerisms. These could very well be something else entirely to you— this is just my interpretation based upon my personal experiences of being on the spectrum. Do not use this to twist my words or anyone elses.

It's also to be noted Autism can be and a lot of the time is genetic— so both Mike and Abby showing signs and symptoms of autism is something in itself.

Mike

• Is Viewed as reclusive, only likes a selective amount of people

• Has a hard time picking up on social cues; doesn't pick up on when people are flirting with him or giving him special attention unless it is very blatant.

• Describes the smell, sound, and very detailed descriptions of people and places around him— also describes being overwhelmed by these senses.

• Unintentionally eavesdrops on people due to his keen senses. He does not seem to like that he does so, and often opts to shutting out the rest of the world in favor of his own daydreams of an ideal/better version of his life, entirely in his own mind

• Doesn't speak his thoughts, oftentimes keeps to himself and keeps his emotions close to his chest. He bottles up these emotions almost constantly until they overflow, causing occasional emotional outbursts when triggered. (fountain scene) can be similar to autistic masking

• Is viewed as strange, violent and crass due to his enclosure of these emotions. Misunderstood, and expresses an exhaustion of trying to convince others otherwise.

• Resting bitch face 24/7

• Doesn't speak to people unless directly spoken to— and if so, it's usually very brief. If he feels no need to speak, he won't, and will simply sit there in silence until the person he's speaking to gives up and moves on. (As referenced in his interactions with Reaglan/William.)

• Very burnt out; borderline disassociative. While this has no direct connection to autism, many autistic individuals usually have these kinds of issues as long term side effects.

• Has described difficulty in reading others emotions, and has even described having trouble differentiating and identifying his own emotions. he also seems to struggle in verbalizing and showing said emotions (Alexithymia; very common in autistic individuals)

• In the same sense, however, he's very observant— he's able to recognize very quick shifts in facial expression and other observations others wouldn't regularly note. He also mentions people's faces and their expressions many times in passages, implying he pays close attention to people's facial expression in order to gauge their thoughts and emotions. This can also be considered a form of autistic masking.

• Likes routine; seems to get thrown off when said routine is disrupted. Has a specific order of events on how he wakes up and goes about his mornings.

• Has established trouble in being able to keep a job. While this is partially due to his own academic struggles, a good portion of his aforementioned job failures are because of things of his own manner. (Again, not directly connected to autism, but something many autistic individuals struggle with)

• Probably a lot more, but I can't really think of them lol

Abby

• Is described multiple times as a very reclusive kid, often times refusing to speak unless directly spoken to

• Has a guidance counselor specifically because she does not fit in with the other children her age and presumably refuses to socialize, preferring to draw rather than interact with children her age (outside of her "imaginary friends".)

• Likes to hide away in her "hidey tent", and only leaves to sit at her desk to draw. Expresses sadness that she cannot fit said desk in her tent

• Only likes specifically the desk. She does not like the chair paired with it, as she doesn't like how it feels.

• Does not eat regularly, often has to be encouraged multiple times and/or forced to eat unless it's something she likes

• Is described as "Mentally ill" by her aunt

• Refuses to talk to people, similar to shutting down

• Also expresses "tantrums" similar to autism meltdowns, like when she's under the belief that Mike is giving her off to her aunt

• Is very stubborn, oftentimes viewed as "disobedient" because she prefers to go off and do her own thing rather than what people want her to do

• Very smart, but has trouble with cues sometimes— cannot seem to tell when people she views as close to her are lying to her or attempting to manipulate her (the ghost kids) unless they're easy to read or she is very familiar with them (like Mike)

• Similar to Mike, Abby shows a mild disdain for her surroundings and the world around her; opts instead to delve into her own world derived of her own mind

• Observant; very easily able to read those she is familiar with.

In conclusion; the Schmidts are autistic as hell and Scott cawthon has somehow, by some insane circumstances, created two characters with some of the most realistic autistic rep I've seen to date. What in the world.

#this was so much to write #jesus christ #does this count as an infodump #i think i need my own diagnosis atp #fnaf #five nights at freddy's #five nights at freddys movie #fnaf movie #mike schmidt #abby schmidt #autism #autistic things #autistic thoughts #autistic experiences #how do i even tag most of this jelp

[dizzybizz]

crystal ribbon

#I CANT BELIEVE I MISSED HER BDAY 😭😭😭😭 IM SORRY BBY OMG #this cant keep happening istg #witch hat atelier #wha #tongari boushi no atelier #tbna #richeh #brushbug #fanart #my art #2 tbna fanarts in 1 day?? sure #richeh is so autistic <333 #she would have a fnaf phase bc she just like me fr #i love her sm #my daughter my girl my baby my little guy light of my life #the type of character i cry over <333 #she was made for me specifically. #also do you ever wonder if shirahama intentionally made richeh super autistic coded or was that unintentional #her experience with the education system and just her entire character is so autistic to me #she even has her own little underground hide out like what? #the way she likes meat over anything else?? #she stims!! #like hello???? #sorry i had to get that out- its something i think about a lot

[dragons1re]

Finished Mob Psycho 100 today and I liked it so much that I might rewatch the whole thing

#that’s is the highest honor I can bestow upon a media #I struggle to rewatch things #most media to me is a one and done #but mp100 is just such a banger #mp100 #mob psycho 100 #AUUUGGHHHH it’s so very much the autistic experience to me #if I had watched this show when I was younger it would’ve changed me for the better #it hoesntly still helped me look at my autism and my own experiences #I’m reviewing a lot of my masking and how I’ve processed my journey #this freaking show made me feel so seen #sire’sramblings

[neoplasm230]

Laios and Luchino outfit swap

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #laios touden #identity v #idv #idv luchino #idv professor #luchino diruse #spoilers ahead! #two autistic massive biology nerds #who are friendly to people but largely alone regardless #have a deep respect and understanding of nature that other humans usually don’t understand #experiment their theories using their own bodies #and because of their relentless pursuit of knowledge end up becoming the monsters they study #these two silly billys scratch a very specific itch that my lil autistic brain loves