#nearly abandoned

[ineed-to-sleep]

She is Looking at you 👁👁

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #tav #oc.nawen #sleepyscribble #little portrait I never posted skldhskdhs #I wanted to make like a couple more portraits I had some ideas for to post together w this #but then my interests shifted and I sort of abandoned them dlfhdflhd #so I'm just posting it as is #I have another one in my folders that's nearly finished so if I can bring myself to finish it I'll post it too

[turtleblogatlast]

Every day I’m haunted by the fact the boys happily swim in sewer water

Even if it’s filtered somehow there’s no way it’s not still nasty 😭 Bet they can defeat any of their villains just by accidentally giving them diseases I swear

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #bless their hearts but they’re nasty #it’s funny because like #each and every one of them has moments #where they’re a typical disgusting teenage boy #and then the next they have STANDARDS #can’t blame Leo for being so determined to go to a spa #even if he nearly licked his own foot that’s prob cleaner than anything else the boys have been up to in years 💀 #thank you shelldon for all your hard work cleaning after then 🙏 #they’re all gross teenage boys!!! #even Donnie he is NO exception here #bro was DRINKING A BEVERAGE while wading through sewer water he is just as gross as his bros #bro also talks with his mouth full he is no more refined than his equally gross bros fr and I love it #but yeah no way that water isn’t disgusting even filtering it would still leave grime on the walls of the sewer for yearsss #pros of them moving into an abandoned subway system is fixing their sense of smell enough to not be as gross #100% that’s part of why they didn’t mind being so filthy pre shelldon #because I mean they were literally raised in the sewers and they’re teenage boys like that’s a double whammy #THEY ALSO DONT WEAR SHOES #the few times any of them do the shoes are discarded before heading home 💀 #I love them tho they are endearing anyhow #April’s immune system must be godlike just being around them fr #honestly no joke Mikey’s probably the cleanest of them all #just by virtue of being a chef #Leo I see as a mixture since he no doubt loves to pamper himself so he’s clean like #a percentage of time before he goes out and ruins his own hard work #Donnie is similar in that he’s just VERY SELECTIVE about what he thinks is too gross #Raph may be more on the stinky end but it’s not his fault he has his stinks and eats things of dubious origin(esp since his bros ate poison) #Donnie and Leo really have the gall to be sick about Raph eating the origami salami but they have no room to talk #all their villains are prob like please stay away from us we have salmonella now

[jichanxo]

retroactive move

#erika furudo #furudo erika #umineko #umineko no naku koro ni #when they cry #wtc #jichanart #this one nearly got abandoned but my friend mentioned liking the wip so i was like. alright. i'll buckle up. and i chipped away at it

[mewtwo24]

I finally finished reading the fourth volume of svsss in full, and thing is--the first time through I only read the bingqiu content because I was ravenous for more of their happy ending.

Turns out that was a perilous mistake.

Because I started reading the airplane extras. And I swear to god. MXTX is trying to kill me

What do you MEAN demon lord Binghe was sitting on his big fucking throne. All stoic and forbidding. Surrounded by his demon generals who don't know shit about human courtship. Asking them what he should do, fully demoralized by constant rejections from sqq, only to have airplane tell him to act more pathetic and needy. Which is already hysterically funny and insane, UNTIL LBH'S RESPONSE IS THIS, KILLING ME INSTANTLY:

LUO BINGHE. WHY DOES HE SAY IT LIKE: "I already tried that, didn't work--nothing works :/ not mean, not maidenly, not housewife, not spicy, not capable disciple. Is doubling down on clingy really all it will take? What's a born hater with only one love in his life to do????"

The dichotomy of him sitting there like 'how can I reach the unfathomable depths of shizun's heart?' A HEART HE'S ALREADY WON OVER, MIND and then in the Holy Mausoleum solving the puzzle without blinking and being like 'oh yeah you just have to hit the acupoints, no sweat.' Literally the comedy writes itself I'm so--

How am I supposed to be normal about this. MXTX understands the juicy quintessential queer joy of a person with the world's power at their fingertips wishing only for love. Willing to do anything to earn that love, when unbeknownst to them it's already been freely given. Totally not screaming and yelling and clawing at the walls

And that's not even touching airplane's uproarious account of events. The way he's like 'lol what's next, lbh and sqq are best friends now? smfh' only to see lbh TACKLE SQQ LOVINGLY. FOR SQQ TO BE BASHFUL ABOUT IT BUT SO SO FOND OF THE LITTLE SCAMP. This when we've been experiencing sqq's constant inner monologue of 'I'm so cool and so dignified about my role, truly the epitome of propriety and poser-level fortitude.' Meanwhile, in their universe:

Airplane constantly flaming???? Sqq and lbh in his observations????? His absolute bewilderment and confusion????? Legendary. No notes every single second of this shit was hilarious.

Airplane's comment that sqq + older adolescent lbh traveling together was just watching a couple in their honeymoon phase. OR the fact that lbh is exceedingly petty and refuses to share their food in the wake of airplane's interruption of their time together, until sqq relents sheepishly and insists airplane eat what's left (ONLY AFTER PLACATING LBH WITH MORE FOOD FROM HIS PLATE, SOBBING)

Watching airplane salivate over Mobei-Jun and acting like that's totally normal behavior. Finding out mbj and airplane got together first. Finding out sqq encouraged airplane. LIKE THIS. WHILE HE IS STILL IN DENIAL ABOUT HIS OWN FEELINGS:

Mobei-jun clearly thinking their arrangement is a forever thing, heartbroken his human abandoned him with all the hapless fury of a scorned wife swept away by false promises of fidelity. Airplane writing demons to be the type to beat up their crush lovingly and still unable to connect the dots about mbj's feelings. Mbj letting him go and respecting his wishes, only relenting when there's indication airplane was poorly processing his own feelings and didn't actually want to leave. Mbj caring for him and listening to him as soon as airplane voices what he needs directly and with clarity. None of these gays are functional and it's everything to me

Unrelated, but I physically can't hold this information in anymore:

I'm still reeling from younger lbh having his sexual awakening from the image of sqq wrapped in the immortal binding cables. Condemn me as you like he was so, so real for that.

And no I will not be taking any comments about how luo bingge couldn't bear to see luo binghe cherished in ways he never got to have and all the haunting implications of that. I will also not be taking any comments about luo binghe's instinct to look for sqq in that alternate universe, only to be shaken to the very core to be unable to find his shizun anywhere. The unspeakable and latent horror of his relentless mind likely piecing together what happened, but unable to say it; to suspect what is true, and live with the harrowing confusion of his double's actions. To blame himself, to assume that he had let his anger get the better of him in that world and result in unspeakable folly...

I also refuse to talk about how heartrending it is to hear Tianlang-jun weakly say "In the end, I really can't bring myself to hate humans." The implication that the foolishness of that hope and bright-eyed fondness--the very thing that put him through such unspeakable agony--couldn't be beaten out of him entirely. To discover that his faith in Su Xiyan hadn't been misplaced, to the contrary: his beloved hadn't scorned him at all, but rather fought to the miserable end to protect the fruition of their genuine feelings of love when she couldn't protect tlj or herself.

How MXTX has sqq deliberately draw parallels between their situation and that of ygy+sj and tlj+sx; desperately wishing it might not be too late for them. The concept of breaking cycles of abuse and harm pervasive throughout the newly devised story, how it evolves for the better only when love takes the place of power, pride, and domination. How the moment sqq chooses vulnerability instead of saving face, the genre shifts to the so-called "cringe" girly genre where most if not every character is more fulfilled, more true to themselves. How the "male-oriented" former genre was aimlessly sensationalized and sexualized, how it was a sustained performance of aspirational toxic masculinity. How men objectify other men without end. All of the unspoken gendered implications that come with that.

Anyways. Going to go put my head in a sandbox and try to process everything I just witnessed because even a second reading is not enough to find a modicum of closure.

#svsss #bingqiu #moshang #i swear to god this series is just 'gay man who doesn't know shit inflicting his delusional reality on everyone else and inciting chaos' #and literally it's slapstick levels of hilarious every single time; mxtx never change #also i fully agree that we did not get NEARLY enough mobei-jun and sqh/airplane content #the amount of mental illness to mental illness communication going on there was astonishing #mobei-jun being afraid of his uncle and bringing sqh because that's the only person he trusts fully (WAILING NOISES) #sqh having a tantrum but running away because for the first time he was honest about his needs + his dissatisfaction with catering to other #how that reflects his narrative compulsions and how he felt forced to warp more creative story paths for the sake of survival as a writer #how sqq's restoration of much of his original intent--as well as mobei-jun's acceptance of his needs--helps airplane begin to heal #how his happiness begins; how just like sqq he wanders in such confusion and denial before he's forced to realize what truly matters to him #SHREK VOICE: STORIES HAVE. L A Y E R S #it feels like modern day shakespeare and when i say that i don't mean it in a hollow elevating sense i mean it more like #mxtx just hits that perfect balance of poignance but also hilarious concentric circles of botched communication and brainworms #okay but real talk for a minute? .........;-; #the way lbh constantly struggles with such a crushing feeling that he'll be abandoned over any little mishap/thing/problem #really hit me where it hurts??? if only because its so clearly an anxiety that stems from original goods' upbringing #the way it becomes even more heartrending when you think back to all the sect leaders clamoring that he should have been killed as an infan #that he should have been aborted as a fetus--insisting right in front of him that his birth was a mistake and a disgrace #over having demon blood in his veins. like my god that scene is so viscerally upsetting i struggle to read it #the way its so easy to see the demons as a manifestation of otherness in precipitated form #how both sqq and sqh are influenced by human rhetoric without evening meaning to--assuming the worst against their better judgment #how both sqq and sqh both struggle with their own otherness in different ways and only find solace when they begin to accept who they are #how their lovers (lbh and mbj respectively) both are willing to navigate those confusing waters with them #how both demons love them as they are--accept them as they are despite how difficult forgiveness of perceived betrayal is for them #ty mxtx for changing my brain chemistry #as i get older i have such a fondness for the messiness of thematic queer self-discovery and growth into self-acceptance #that and how youth can so easily be defined by perfectionistic self-harm and the violence of repression

[smokestarrules]

Absolutely inconsolable about this specific piece from the ToH art gallery I am on the FLOOR

(Art by Haley Wong). 

#LOOK AT THEM!!!!! #the og looks. the forgiveness in this image the BONDING of it all #it's not that luz is tying them together it's that they all have a separate bond with EACH OTHER they all have something different that ties #two of them together #luz was willow's first friend that encouraged her to stand up for herself and be herself(no shade to gus) #amity was willow's first FRIEND. and she abandoned her and shamed her for years #willow was the first person luz met on the b.i who she understood #luz was the person amity could be brave with #willow was amity's first downfall #luz was nearly the same but she managed to help turn it to STRENGTH #fucking going insane #toh #the owl house #luz noceda #amity blight #willow park #lumity #willumity #smokey speaks #500 #1k

[cuepickle]

T: “I heard Byers got asked to help with picture day at Loch Nora.”

B: “Think Wheeler’s gonna let him get a close up?”

More boarding school AU brainrot. When Billy first comes to Hawkins Academy, Stancy is still holding on by a thread. Loch Nora is the nearby private girl’s college that shares some classes with the academy.

#you know I had to draw more #and I’ve been dying to draw the kegboys together #Steve is such a grumpy shit in this pic I love him #omg I was gonna draw Eddie too but let’s be for real I could not conjure any reason for him to be at a private school #unless he’s the janitor LMAO #I also nearly abandoned this drawing like 30 times because I drew their faces literally smaller than a penny #my art #harringrove #stranger things #Steve #billy #Tommy H #tommy h stranger things

[wolfsbaneandthistle]

Notes on food, fish, and translation errors.

Hán and Ankiusk are good friends, but during the time that they’re getting their medical certifications they’re both still learning the Galactic Standardized language. That combined with Ankiusk’s lack of a jaw to make the click (!) letter, there are a lot of communication issues.

And I mean… what do you call an alien animal in an alien language so that a third alien can relate it to yet another alien animal. Language may be evil but comparative xenobiology is even more so.

#I very nearly didn’t finish this. #I started it months ago #hated it. wound up abandoning it #picked it up again. still months ago. redid everything and liked it quite a bit more #but ended up leaving it again #THEN I picked it up a third time. did the reference sheets for my human characters. and was finally able to finish the lineart. #I don’t even know when I actually started it #my program says I made it prior to the preventative and repetitive care notes. #So it’d be sometime in August/September. Jesus Christ. #damn #sci-fi #spec bio #speculative biology #xenobiology #worldbuilding #little bird worldbuilding #my art #oc: hán huì qún #oc: ankiusk #medical textbook images to get tormented by #long post #comic

[die-with-me-dazai]

Everyone out here "omg the anime cut this omg the anime cut that how COULD they omg I hope they don't adapt this LN or I hope they do adapt this LN....." etc etc and I'm just here like "damn I'm so glad bungou stray dogs has an anime and we're getting new seasons"

I'm just genuinely happy to have anything at all

Is the anime adaptation perfect? No of course not

Am I just happy the anime is still ongoing? Absofuckinglutely

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #bungou sd #bungo stray dogs #bungou #bungo #bungo sd #listen. #nothing is perfect #except the bsd manga #im just grateful this series is still going strong and didnt get cancelled or abandoned #as much as i hate how disgusting and cringy the fanbase is becoming #im so fucking glad it got popular enough to get to that point #and has enough support to keep airing #because as much as i hate people and want to gatekeep the FUCK out of this series #i understand my obsession and love alone is not nearly enough to keep an anime afloat #im honestly just so fucking happy to have this series ongoing #and im happy that so many people enjoy it to #even if they don't love or understand it like i do lmao #but everyones entitled to their own opinons and interpretations so i stay in my lane and let people enjoy things #even if they do it wrong lol

[daily-hanamura]

#p4 #persona 4 #p4g #persona 4 golden #hanamura yosuke #yosuke hanamura #“i should be the one thanking you though” god yosuke GOD he still sees so much of this as him seeking justice for saki huh #nearly one year in and he still feels like this was a responsibility of his. that it was his burden that he had put on to yu. #that initial moment when he asked yu for help in entering the tv world like he still saw it as yu following through with his word primarily #i feel like there's an implication here that he thought yu might/could abandon this task for something else. #rank 10 when yosuke says “somewhere deep down I didn't trust you... no it's more like... i was jealous of you” idk i think on some level #yosuke didn't trust yu. i think yosuke who is used to being let down and used to only being paid lip service and superficial relationships #he didn't believe that someone as competent and as beloved and as enviable as yu would pull through for someone like yosuke #which again i want to shake yosuke like a snowglobe BECAUSE BBYBOY PLS HAVE MORE FAITH IN YOURSELF #DO YOU STILL NOT SEE HOW MUCH YOU'VE CHANGED YU AS MUCH AS HE'S CHANGED YOU #DO YOU KNOW UNDERSTAND THAT WHEN YU WAS THANKING YOU IT WAS FOR THE SAME REASONS?? #THAT YOU STAYED UNFLINCHINGLY BY HIS SIDE THROUGH GOOD TIMES AND BAD?? #THAT YU ALSO HAD HIS BURDEN OF BEING A WILDCARD DESPITE BEING SOMEONE THAT STAYED CAREFULLY DETACHED SOCIALLY #BUT YOU. YOSUKE. YOU WERE THE ONE THAT CHANGED HIS MIND AND HELPED HIM AND MADE HIM BETTER AND I #YU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT LOYALTY AND DEEP MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIPS LOOKED LIKE EITHER UNTIL YOU AAAA WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THAT #srry idk why that was in all caps i got very passionate for a moment #anyway. them. #he's good with his queue

[onepiecethingsilike]

I kept seeing folks talking about early concept art time-skip Robin but hadn’t actually dug around for the official art until now and THESE ALL FEEL SO MUCH MORE NICO ROBIN TO ME SHE’S PERFECT I was personally robbed…

#honestly robin’s TS design is just so misguided imo #she doesn’t look anything like Nico Robin #you’re really telling me she worked in espionage for two years with the revolutionary army and came back looking like she had been #on a beach vacation?? #also this woman spent nearly thirty years of her life rocking a blunt cut with bangs she wouldn’t have just abandoned that style #UNLESS it was to crop it short to be easier to manage in those two years #also give her her olive skin back #and her button ups #these are my woes #one piece #Nico Robin

[ineed-to-sleep]

So I've had this wip sitting in my folders for months now and decided to ressurect it to satiate the urge to draw these two again

#I actually finished a wip after abandoning it for so long alright iconic moment for me personally #this is them in the cab coming back from the warrens after getting their asses handed to them by all the szlachta #she handled herself a lil better but vincent is squishy and almost died like. 10 times #vtm #vtmb #the fledgling #brujah #oc.vince #oc.pepper #ship: viper #sleepyscribble #she looks a lil sad bc yk she nearly lost the dude and she starts realizing she liiikes hiiiiiim teehee #she legit doesn't know what she would do if she rlly lost him #but she doesn't think she's in love ofc ofc it's just that yk he's the only person she really feels like she can trust #and the only one she feels really good around and who she feels she could tell anything to #and tbh she hasn't felt this way with anyone else in a long long time even before she became undead and had to deal w the other kindred #but that's normal for a friendship yk this is just a really strong friendship why ruin it with romance right that's stupid #no she wasn't watching him take his shirt off with her eyes almost popping out of her skull the other day shhh that didn't happen #she doesn't even remember he has freckles on his back and a scar on his shoulder. the left one. she doesn't remember she wasn't even lookin #ANYWAY no lust no feelings she's fine don't worry abt it 👍🏻

[designernishiki]

just a thought but like. if akiyama, who’s established as being a bizarrely talented investigator in y5, suspected kiryu’s death to have been faked (or at least “fishy” in his own words) basically on the fucking Spot, i feel like it just makes sense that majima would’ve been just as quick, if not quicker to see where shit wasn’t adding up and become skeptical that the whole thing was a coverup. reason being, in y5 he put shit together and figured out the grand scheme going on so damn early most people didn’t even suspect yet that there was any scheme going on. he then faked his own death well enough to get it in the papers and had masterminded himself all the way to the final boss (with some help of course) before things backfired on him. so he’s got some crazy good skills when it comes to reading people, figuring out their intentions, putting puzzle pieces together, etc– way better than he wants people knowing, generally– and he knows the hallmark signs of a faked death because he’s literally done it before. all that on top of knowing kiryu like the back of his hand and knowing damn well how hard this man is to kill, and how prone to running away from shit for the sake of the safety of people he cares about (for better or for worse) he is. he could absolutely put together that, if given the opportunity by some faction or powerful individual, kiryu would sacrifice his identity and status as a legit living person for the assured safety of others, or for yakuza tensions to diminish, or maybe even as an act of self-flagellation.

tldr: I think the reasons majima didn’t go rogue/apeshit after kiryu’s alleged death are that A) for once he has saejima around to reign him in and make it feel less like Everything has been lost, B) I think he’s legitimately known pretty much all along that kiryu didn’t die that day; nor would he believe it unless he saw it with his own eye.

#however. I also think it would clash with his tendency to be way more cynical and nihilistic than his persona makes him seem #like I do think he’d be pretty fucking sure in his gut And with his logic that kiryu wasn’t dead #but there’d be a pesky depressive part of him that’d scold him for being too idealistic or hopeful in a world that’s so fond of #torturing him. he doesn’t think himself Lucky to say the least. but if he held out hope for saejima while he was on death row for literally #years and saejima did make it back to him in one piece eventually– he’d have some ammo to reason with himself if that makes sense #that + I feel like saejima upon hearing him spiral into supposedly ‘realistic’ nihilism would Strongly reassure him #via reminding him that HE made it back to majima in the end. and that saejima himself knows from experience what a faked death feels like #and how holding onto hope Can in fact be fruitful in the end. overall a bad time for majima after kiryu’s fake death obviously but #he’d be surprisingly stable with all that going for him. makes me think he and saejima would really be the ones keeping daigo from falling #apart. considering he doesn’t have basis for the kind of hope they’re capable of having. almost everyone important to daigo dies eventually #his dad. mine right in front of him. now kiryu. boy must have abandonment issues off the damn charts. #I also like to think he hung around shinada a bit after that incident to just have Something good and pure in his life occasionally. but #he’d be cautious and occasional about it out of fear that he’d ruin shinada’s life or cause him trouble #anyway. many thoughts about all this. they didn’t dive nearly enough into the old guard characters’ reactions to kiryu’s ‘death’ so. yeah #rambling #y6 #majima #kazumaji

[symerr]

woe. headmate sims be upon ye.

#simblr #the sims 4 #ts4 #ts4 cas #create a sim #uhhh yeah cool those are tags #these were each made a few days apart but we only just now learned how to pose in cas so #had to test it on a few of us #sym battery (it/he/xe) #sym invidia (they/she) #sym k (he) #sure that's a reasonable way to tag things that we absolutely wont get sick of and abandon after 3 posts (lie) #ugh fuck i was gonna edit them too but i just. forgot #and i dont want to anymore bc its nearly midnight #whatever its the sims we all know shit clips through other shit here #err #cas err

[sexybritishllama]

we’re nearly in the season for my avatar to be seasonally appropriate again…. always a big month for me

#eloise talks #the ancient lore of this avatar is long lost to nearly everyone at this point #but I will never abandon it

[soldier-poet-king]

i want to learn to dance. i want to learn to fight. i want to do something to truly learn to inhabit my body instead of having an uneasy, hateful truce on the best of days, and utter enmity on other days. perhaps i am a creature of the emotion and the mind. but i am a creature still

#this makes no sense but i saw a piece of art with a dancing couple and nearly burst into tears #not even ROMANTIC. it was just fun. joy. swing-ish #i just want to be alive. maybe that is it #the joyful self abandonment that comes with fully inhabiting the self #i want it. i need it #everything costs money and energy that i lack. alas #not to mention im alone. i dont have anyone to go learn dance WITH. am far too awkward and shy with strangers #i love touch but i am touch averse with strangers. idk why. a feral cat instinct perhaps #anyway. fight might be the option here. but still. i want that joy #its a macrocosm of the feeling when youre home alone and cooking with music on full blast #singing and dancing across the kitchen with a joy that can never be captured or explained #i will never be so happy as in those moments #mutuals move in w me i want a platonic dance partner. this is not a romantic overtone i really DO just want to dance #like old timey ppl had some fucked up social mores and we hate gender roles but dance as a social activity. oh they were so right abt that

[nukaposting]

my headcanon is that deacon’s name really is deacon. desdemona asked what he wanted his codename to be and he gave his real name, knowing no one would think twice, probably just to see if he could do it. having no one left, he may have felt that codenames didn’t matter without anyone to protect. either way, there have surely been stranger codenames. it’s the only truth he ever tells

#i know about the john d. thing and that could contradict this in some ways but. i think john d. is more codename-like than deacon #desdemona isn't even really 100% sure deacon is john d. so for this purpose i think it's irrelevant/can go either way #if he was john d. he would have abandoned that pseudonym anyway #plus it seems like a diversionary tactic he would use. exceedingly simple but nearly foolproof #even if someone gets suspicious and asks if it's his real name he'd be like well bingo bongo heeheehee my name could be anything. maybe your #name is deacon. maybe we're all deacon #it's rock solid even if pressed #fallout #fallout 4 #fo4 #deacon fo4 #fallout headcanon #fallout companions