#no matter our wreckage

[ohjoyce]

2022 in books

It’s been a good year in books. More waves of covid = more time spent inside reading, away from crowds of people so silver linings and all that.

Happily, I’ve also been lucky enough to have lived with and befriended fellow keen bean readers and we’ve swapped our lil paperback collections back and forth. One of my top 5 favourite feelings has got to be watching someone you know read a book you love. Up there too is chatting with a friend about a book they’ve lent you as you read it for the first time. Chef’s kiss experiences.

This year, I elected to read almost entirely for pleasure. I switched jobs two times and worked on getting into a consistent fitness routine of going to the gym 3 times a week so was not looking for anything else challenging or intellectually stimulating to do in my free time. Unfortunately, Canberra does not have very good libraries so I didn't have access to a huge variety of options. But, the library of friends came through with the goods.

Without further ado, a list of my 2022 in books in chronological order that I read them.

The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennet

Quite an interesting and thought-provoking exploration of race and the extent to we are able to choose who we become. Two mixed-race twins growing up in 1950s America experience very different parallel realities as one chooses to capitalise on her lighter skin colour to pass as white. Raised questions of material comfort versus cultural integrity have no clear answers but makes for compelling food for thought.

How We Love by Clementine Ford

This book is slight departure from Clementine Ford's usual stuff-- more tender and vulnerable. Each chapter is about one of the loves in her life and it's as much a letter to a past and future selves as it is an ode to non-romantic love. I also went to her ‘Secular Love Sermon’ aka How We Love book tour show in November of this year which was maybe the best event I went to this year. Here’s to love as bearing witness to life and telling stories always.

The Dry by Jane Harper

Before this year, I hadn't read any of Jane Harper's books. This year I read them all. Goes to show how addictive and effective they are as crime thrillers. The story unfolds and weaves together to reach such a satisfying conclusion. I can't really say too much without spoiling it but Jane Harper has a wonderful way of characterising the Australian bush landscape as a focal point in her novels.

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child by JK Rowling, John Tiffany, and Jack Thorne

Incredibly unmemorable. It was pleasant but I can't remember a single thing on reflection.

The Survivors by Jane Harper

Not one of my favourite Jane Harper novels, but as always a great page-turning read.

After I Do by Taylor Jenkin Reid

An interesting exploration of love after marriage and the reality of the highs and lows that starts after most romance stories end. As can be clearly seen from the other books by the same author I kept picking up after this one, I really relished this unconventional premise.

Malibu Rising by Taylor Jenkin Reid

I picked this up because the cover was kind of pretty and I was on a lunch-break walk to Civic Library and this was the best pleasant surprise. Something about this novel reminded me of getting deliciously absorbed into a book during school holidays — falling asleep reading and then reading again first thing in the morning. I have a big soft spot for self-made underdog stories and eldest/only daughter protagonists.

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkin Reid

Absolutely devoured this story of old-school glamour, love, and disappointment. Nice and neat tie-in with the narrator/journalist’s own modern day sub-plot.

Entire ACOTAR series by Sarah J Maas.

Faerie smut that fits in just about every trope of men written by a woman for the female gaze in a good way. Very fun.

Love Stories by Trent Dalton

Touchingly earnest, Trent Dalton shows us that in hard times, sometimes the best thing to go is to choose to go soft. To choose to show and share the hurt and highs of loving and being loved that are the only things that'll matter in the end. This got me through a chaotic and draining month I worked in family law. I cried a lot.

Force of Nature by Jane Harper

Again, a lesser favourite but good fun nonetheless.

The Lost Man by Jane Harper

This one is up there, so good I reread it a week ago. The perfectly placed red herrings, the family tension, and small-town grudges and secrets. 10/10 times. I particularly enjoyed how men's mental health, loneliness, and isolation were prevalent themes. Jane Harper also sprinkles easter eggs throughout her Faulk novels which subtly intertwine the characters from her books which is fun to spot.

Milk Fed by Melissa Broder

There was a lot of online hype about this book, and the author is behind a twitter account I used to follow called 'SoSadToday' (yeah, I know bahaha). But the rather triggering portrayal of disordered eating and punitive calorie counting made this one a pretty stressful read. There was also zero sense of closure at the end, only confusion.

Book Lovers by Emily Henry

A very sweet and delightful rom-com read for those of us who are sometimes sick of the overly predictable cookie-cutter romance novel. The protagonist is very relatable and is all in all a refreshing palate cleanser to the saccharine netflix christmas holiday movie tropes.

Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton

Absent of any particularly astute life advice at least in any productive sense but deeply comforting that the era of being in your twenties is as chaotic as it is character-building and all of it is normal.

The No Show by Beth O'Leary

Slightly over-complicated plot-twist but props for originality and side-plot which I may or may not have become more invested in than the main plot by the end.

Second First Impressions by Sally Thorne

A fun, quirky, alternative rom-com read with colourful characters and the evergreen message that it's more than ok to be a cosy offbeat weirdo as long as enjoy it.

No Matter Our Wreckage by Gemma Carey

Written by a now-Canberran dwelling lady academic researcher, this book reflexively documents   her own childhood sexual assault and abuse. Which is to say things get very real and very dark at points. But, Gemma Carey refuses to let her story go untold and that courage glues together what is an otherwise tragic and deeply personal patchwork of recollections and tribulations.

Conversations with Friends by Sally Rooney

Honestly, I can't say I'm a big Sally Rooney fan but sometimes you are having a mid time and simply want to escape into someone else's even mid-er time this hits. I can't explain it any other way.

The Switch by Beth O'Leary

I tried to listen to the audiobook of this story and didn't make it very far but when I found a copy of the paperback, I got through it quite readily. Cosy as all Beth O'Leary novels are, if the obstacle-boyfriend can be a bit characterised as a bit obviously shit.

November 9th Colleen Hoover

If you miss the days of scoffing down random wattpad stories as a tween, this is perfect.

Love and Virtue by Diana Reid

I spent on year studying at the University of Sydney in 2017 and used to always wonder what went on behind the hedges of the overpriced colleges where presumably people with very rich parents lived. This book is almost definitely a very accurate window into the answer. Having studied law and arts at Usyd herself, the

Verity by Colleen Hoover

Wtf!? Truly I was relentlessly gazumped and then bamboozled. No sense can be made of this one, it's beyond sense.

Love on the Brain by Ali Hazelwood

I've just finished this book, it might be my last read of 2022. A very sweet and escapist read (mostly for me, as a mathematically and scientifically challenged legal professional lmao). Though I will say I enjoyed Ali Hazelwood's other novel The Love Hypothesis a smidge more.

Whew, that was quite a test for my memory. Any outstandingly great or shitty reads for you in 2022? KEEN TO DISCUSS as always.

#love on the brain #verity #love and virtue #ali hazelwood #colleen hoover #diana reid #november 9th #the switch #beth o'leary #sally rooney #conversations with friends #no matter our wreckage #gemma carey #sally thorne #second first impressions #everything i know about love #dolly alderton #book lovers #emily henry #ACOTAR #a court of thorns and #a court of mist and fury #sarah j maas #a court of war and ruin #a court of frost and starlight #milk fed #melissa broder #trent dalton #love stories #the lost man

[orcelito]

I always get so angry but then I play video games and I'm no longer so angry

This is a problem when it comes to wanting to leave my shit ass job

#speculation nation #i was absolutely ranting with my coworker about this shit #if either of us leave we're both going. straight up. #boss was threatening to fire them and im like. if he does? im quitting on the fucking spot. #i dont have a job lined up yet but im gonna start seriously looking #and if it comes down to it i dont think itll take too long for me to find Something. not with my qualifications. #might not be the best paying job right away but so long as i have Something & it doesnt make me utterly miserable #itd still be better than this fucking shithole. #i used to love this place but everything has soured because of him. #ive toughed it out for Far too fucking long. and ive finally reached the end of my Fucking Rope. #8 years total of my life ive given to this store. but no more. #it's not a matter of 'if'. it's a matter of 'when'. #and once we leave at least 2 of the other seasoned employees will be leaving. #4 out of 6 of the fully trained drink makers. gone. #and the other 2 are leaving at the end of this semester Anyways. #so what are ya gonna do Boss Man? if our labor has really been that worthless to you then surely this will be no big deal! #right? right? right? from how youve treated us it's clear! it's clear you take us for granted and dont give a shit about us as people. #so youre gonna get a rude fucking awakening Very soon. have fun cleaning up the wreckage of your mockery of our lives. #anyways hi yeah shit's about to blow up at work and im jumping ship as soon as i can make it work #i also got caught in freezing rain and had to walk home (took an hour of walking when itd usually take 25 mins!) bc i Could Not Bike #may or may not have to go into work tomorrow and if i do i may just take a hammer to those fucking windows [joke][this is a joke] #its gonna ice all night and i voiced these legitimate concerns for my safety and got told #'well we'll follow what the city standards are' or whatever the fuck. and got told to take the bus. #WELL COME ON SHITSTAIN I STILL HAVE TO WALK TO THE BUS STOP NOW DONT I?????? #plus i just dont like the idea of going out rn at all. it's so dangerous. im for serious Everything is ice. #even on a salted road my bike still slid out from under me. i Had to walk it home #walking very very carefully with very ginger steps. lord help me on any inclines bc gravity was pushing me Down. #it was awful. one of the worst commutes of my life. and this fucker has the audacity to tell me to just Take The Bus? #hes getting on my last Fucking nerves. oh yeah and him completely dismissing my coworker's concerns about passive aggression #ran out of tags (lmfao) so ill stop ranting here. but just. i am so Fucking done with him.

[nimomo-mo]

Vent

#but who in their right mind would say that his traumas are on the same level as mine #theyre worlds apart and i didnt mean it like a “ha ha my life is better than yours” but more of a “i shouldnt complain” #which is wrong too ofc you cant compare things like that! a broken thing is broken no matter what broke it #and we both are mentally fucked to the point that we are actually disabled #but we both cope and bond with gallows humor and joke about our horrible traumas #because at some point it stops being a horrible story that you gotta be serious about. and turns into a story so horrible its funny #you know what i mean?? #like how would anyone be able to keep a straight face when told that i was beaten and bullied to the tune of peppa pig hfhskjshg #“greta gris nöffnöff” while kicking me hfbskjfhs like making someone oink in tune to the song is hilarious #its horrible but hilarious #its the same with his stories where he had his fucked up family stories that we just laughed about because it was so horrible #but this time i went overboard with my half joke half concern comments #and it turned awkward and i hurt him and now im here venting after weve already made up #im sorry ted i love you youre a great friend and i hope you get therapy soon #we botj are mental wrecks and you desperately need meds hahah #i hope to see where you end up in the future and i hope you get to see me finish engineering school #i hope we stat friends for a long time and keep up with eachother even when far apart and doing our own thing #im gonna be horrible with contact tho i always am lmao #also i hope yours and noahs marriage goes well i love you two youre great #also i hope noah get their fucking mental health cyecked too god damn theyre an autistic trigger wreckage #i cant talk about traumas with anyone else because the worst thing on earth is when someone pities me. or feels sorry for me #stop it! im not weak! im not pathetic like that! dont pity me! its disgusting! #ugh. unfortunately us making fun of eachothers trauma leads to a guilty partypooper feeling when trying to get help #cant really reach out to ted without feeling awkward or guilty or like a killjoy making things worse #i love him but damn. i hate hate hate hate having panic attacks in front of people and even more someone that normally jokes w me #idk

[mint-yooxgi]

Promises - Yandere!Kraken!Felix

Yandere AU & Kraken AU - First Person POV

Genre: Mature, Smutty Themes, Internal Monologue

Pairing: Felix X Implied Chubby!Fem!Reader

Words: 1,958

Warnings: Implied violence and shipwreck, kidnapping, Felix is a type of Sea God in this, mentions of past sexual relations. Tentacles. This is a Yandere story, it will contain themes such as stalking, violence, obsession, possessive natures, and just general overall creepiness and swearing. You have been warned.

A/n: Did I base the start of this drabble on the ending scene in Dead Man's Chest? Perhaps. Is this a bit tamer than the others. Maybe. Either way, I still hope you like it! I've been slowly easing myself back into writing, so I'm happy with what I've been able to do. Plus, I just fucking love the banner I made for this hehehe... Anyways, Feedback is greatly appreciated! Enjoy!~

The Thirteenth of The Feral Drabbles

They thought they could keep you away from me.

They really thought they could keep you away from me.

It’s laughable. I thought it was a known rule for sailors not to anger the sea, but alas. Here we are.

The frantic screams and shouts don’t deter me for one second. I know what I came here for, and I’m not leaving without you. You’re mine. I warned them what the consequences would be, yet still they refused to give you to me. Even after we promised ourselves to each other! Can you believe that?

Oh, that sounds so harsh. It’s not like you didn’t also choose me. It’s these… these… things keeping us apart. They don’t understand our love. Think I’m corrupting you, or something.

Such bullshit. The only thing I’m corrupting is their ability to live.

They hid you on the third level, thinking you’d be safe within the deepest confines of the ship. Little do they know it’s the worst place you could be. It’s like they want you to get hurt, like they want me to kill you. Such things I would never do. 

Still, despite my anger as I tear this floating piece of wood apart, I’m careful. Your safety is my top priority, and I’ve already ensured that. Right now, you rest, cocooned inside a few of my tentacles. Magic surrounds you, ensuring none of their attacks have any effect on me or you. Like hell I’ll allow them to disturb you now. Besides, you passed out shortly after my assault started on the ship, but you don’t have to worry. I’ve got you.

I can still remember when we first met, how you told me you didn’t fare well with sea travel. Yet another offence they’ve made against you. I’ll never forgive them for their transgressions. Sinners need to pay, and I am here to pass my divine judgement on those that would call themselves ‘heroes’.

Do not fear, My Beloved. Once I finish smashing apart this pathetic excuse of driftwood, I’ll take you home. 

Where you’ve always belonged. 

With me.

These planks are so brittle, it’s almost laughable. Your captor’s pathetic attempts to defend themselves are cute, in a way. If not for the fact that every time I start to pull you out of the wreckage, more of them show up to try and hinder me. I don’t know why they’re so obsessed with protecting you now when they’ve never done so before.

I’m the one who always saves you. I’m the one who ensures you no harm. Not them.

No matter. They haven’t seen everything that I can do. My capabilities far surpass what their puny, closed off minds can comprehend. I’ve got magic beyond the darkest depths of the ocean, strength greater than the harshest of tides. There is no being, save myself, that could keep me away from you.

I don’t even know why they try.

Finally, I’m able to pull you out of that godforsaken wreckage and unleash my full wrath upon these wretches. The boat snaps like a twig as I pull the debris and all remaining survivors below the surface. 

None will survive. They don’t get to. I won’t let them.

Honestly, it’s kind of fun tearing stuff apart. I’ve always enjoyed making a mess of things. I only wish you could be awake to see just how strong your lover can be. After all, I’m doing this for you. I warned them about what would happen should they lay their filthy, traitorous hands all over you. I’m simply staying true to my word!

You know firsthand that I’m a very truthful guy. I would never lie to you, My Pearl. I would rather be slow roasted over an open fire than even think to deceive you.

Aren’t I so loyal?

Oh. Right. You aren’t awake to hear my teasing. Teasing which you seem quite fond of whenever I’m with you.

I think you just like hearing my voice…

That’s okay, Beloved. I will speak for as long as you desire me to. Besides, the feeling is quite mutual.

Gods- I can’t wait to see your face when you wake up in our home, and I get to tell you everything that I’ve done for you. Finally, we can be together, free of oppressive opinions and suppressive stares. Where I’m taking you, we can be ourselves, and the magic of my ocean will keep you safe. Eventually, when you’re ready, you’ll even become like me, too. 

Won’t that be incredible? Just thinking about it makes my whole body tingle.

Or maybe that’s just the change in depth.

I promise my home isn’t too much further out, and it’s in a safe area. You’ll be able to live here with me free of any restraints. I’ll be your comfort. I’ll be your guide. I will provide for you everything you will ever need. 

There is nothing stopping our love now.

I’ll even make sure that no sliver of the wreckage I just caused gets to you. The currents listen to me. They’re my friends, and soon they will be yours, too.

Either way, I’m glad that’s over, because now I can focus on you! I know that you’d be celebrating with me if you were awake, but for now, I’ll simply revel in this sweet victory alone. Having you safe in my arms is enough reward, and when you wake, the true celebration will begin.

Hmm, I wonder what we should do first? Should I take you to the reefs so you can see all of the colourful coral that I’ve grown just for you? Should I present you to the schools of fish that always seek refuge around my house? Get them to revel in your beauty? Or maybe I’ll worship you in the den of our own personal sanctuary, where nothing - no one - will be able to interrupt.

My Beauty.

My Beautiful, Beloved Pearl.

I’ll admit, there’s a certain ring to those names that I enjoy. It calls to me like the cavernous songs of the sirens. An enchantment I can never seem to escape: you.

Not that I want to. 

No. Never. Not since the very first time I laid eyes on you.

You’re addictive, you know that? One glance caught my attention. One melodic note of a spoken word, and I was hooked. Your eyes are deeper than the darkest sea, and I could swim in them forever. You hold me, transfixed, with your gaze whenever you look at me, and I never want it to stop.

Honestly, I can never grow tired of you looking at me. I want you to look at me, and only me. I want to be the first thing you see in the morning when you blink those glorious eyes open, and the last thing you see when you go to sleep at night. I want to wrap you in my arms and hold you close, whispering the sweetest words of all the worlds in your ears, and hear you do the same for me in return.

There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you, Beloved, and I will never hesitate to prove that to you. With me, you will never have to settle for less than what you deserve, for I will always give you every single thing your heart could ever desire.

Fuck- I can still remember the way your body trembled from the very first touch. The more I trailed my arms over your body, letting the tips of my tendrils caress your skin, the more your whole being warmed. You fit so perfectly in my hold, that I long to always touch you - to always be near you, and obey your every whim.

I am but your loyal servant, sent to worship the very depths of your soul. Your entire being calls to me, and I could bathe in your warmth for all eternity. Right now, it’s that warmth that I crave more than anything. That glorious nectar that seeps from between your legs beckons to me. One taste isn’t enough. I need to feel you flooding my every sense once more.

Sweet.

Addictive.

I could spend ages defining it, but nothing could ever truly put into words just how ethereal you are to me.

People always thought my existence was mere myth itself. Rumours and legends only meant to scare those away from pursuing adventure on the high seas. Nothing more than a fable to tell their children at night to ensure they don’t go off swimming in the bay alone.

They have always been, and will always be, wrong.

I’m as real at the tide, as sure as the sand that resides against the ocean floor. There is nothing in these waters as deadly as I am, and all those that oppose us will face my wrath.

Well, where we’re going, we won’t have to worry about being disturbed at all. Plenty of room for the both of us. Plenty of privacy. No one dares disturb that which should be left undisturbed. At least, those smart enough to.

That is, of course, unless I use my magic to let those sirens get a taste of their own medicine. Water echoes even the smallest of sounds, and yours should be heard for miles around. I can still hear your glorious voice calling out my name as you bathed me in your own sacred waters, and I want all to know that you are mine, and I am yours. For all eternity. 

I’ll admit… I’m addicted to you, and I can never get enough. Though, from the way I remember your hands clinging to me that night only days ago, I don’t think you can get enough, either.

Good thing we have forever to spend fully satisfying each other!

Ah… looks like we’re finally getting close to home. I can see the familiar drop off up ahead. Don’t worry, Beloved, there’ll be plenty of air for you to breathe inside. I won’t always have to keep you covered in a veil of magic. Though, I would always like to have an arm around you. Feeling your skin pressed against my own is a sensation unlike any other, and I long to never let you go.

Perhaps I should tidy up a little more before you wake. I always have way too much energy after destroying a ship. Something about adrenaline and all that.

Perhaps when you wake up you could even help me with it… You might be a bit tired and disoriented when you wake, but my magic can help with your exhaustion. You seemed to like that that last time I used it on you.

How else could we have gone as many rounds as we did?

Oh, you flatter me by pulling yourself in closer to me subconsciously when I shift into such a basic form. It easier to move around like a human within my home when it’s drained like this, and besides, I haven’t exactly shown you my entire true form yet. The last thing I want to do is scare you as soon as you wake up. You’ve already suffered the trauma of being stolen away from me today. I don’t want to make things worse.

There. All you need to do is rest now. 

In my arms? Well, who am I to pull away from My Pearl when you’re clinging onto me so tightly in your sleep? 

I truly can never say no to you…

Just rest, Beloved. This creature shall keep you safe, tucked away deeply in his heart for all eternity. Once you open those glorious eyes of yours, our own adventure will start.

Just you and me, forever. 

I promise.

#cultofdionysusnet #mfu-net #yandere felix #yandere stray kids #yandere skz #yandere kpop #felix smut #felix scenarios #skz smut #stray kids scenarios #skz imagines #stray kids imagines #kpop smut #kpop au #kpop scenarios #kraken au #chubby reader

[yinyuedijun]

hi I am testing out whether or not I'm shadowbanned. however I don't want to spam the main tags w irrelevant posts so I am offering this snippet from art of the bedchamber part 2 \o/

tw soggy sfw danheng (pre-1.2)

Dan Heng remembers when he assumed his human form for the first time.

It is a difficult scene to forget: the wreckage of an IPC ship, engulfed in the red glow of emergency lights. A robotic voice signalling the steady loss of hair: Attention, attention, the system had blared in a pleasant, sunny tone. Attention to all passengers. The Altair has experienced irreparable damage to its seal. There are 120 minutes until complete oxygen depletion. Please make your way to the lifepods. The Vega is on standby to receive all survivors. Attention, attention.

The PA system said nothing of the vengeful ghost who’d wrought all that destruction—both upon the ship and its passengers. Probably everyone who could have made such an announcement was dead.

Yinyue Jun, the wraith had called him, mara-poisoned eyes shining as his gaze fell upon his features. The same features that Dan Heng was now studying in the broken mirror, fragmented by cracks running through the glass. Dan Feng. Sinner. You’ll never escape your karmic debt. You'll never escape your punishment. I’ll find you whenever you are, no matter how far you run. Even if I forget everything else of my mortal life, I'll never forget your face.

His face.

Dan Heng had never seen much of his own face in the darkness of the Shackling Prison, but he'd been strung up and whipped for its likeness. Punished for whom it once belonged. This is simply the weight of your karma from your past life. It was you who buried your beloved. It was you who nearly destroyed your homeworld. It was your fault, Dan Feng, that she died. How could you do that to her? To your friend? High Elder, do you know how the Vidyadhara suffered for your pride? It is you who is at fault for the deaths of so many of our kin. You, you, you. This is what you deserve, Yinyue Jun, for your arrogance. it matters not if it was your past life, it matters not if you're now a child, you have no right to shed those tears—

Seeing his face—Yinyue Jun's face—for the first time then, with its gleaming irises, its jadeite horns, its otherworldly glow—

—Dan Heng hated it.

His features were a curse, one not unlike the powers he'd inherited. You should never be allowed to roam free, Dan Feng. You cannot be trusted with the powers of a High Elder. Not with how you lost control in your last life.

You are a danger to us all, Dan Feng.

This is what you deserve.

Dan Heng was eager to sculpt a new face for himself. Relieved to lock away his powers. Anxious to paint into existence a dream he’d long imagined as a child. The dull green of his eyes, the short clip of his dark hair, the only hint to his past a cinnabar stroke along his lashline—these were features he’d long envisioned for himself growing up in the Prison, devouring countless novels about worldly life on the Luofu. All those stories about human men and women, leading quaint and romantic lives unfettered by destiny. All those tales about mortals far removed from his existence as a disgraced High Elder.

Looking like this—plain, unassuming, without the marks of a Vidyadhara elder—Dan Heng could pretend to be one of those mortals. He could act like he'd never felt the bite of shackles in his wrists. Like he'd never felt the burn of a welt slashed across his back. Like he'd grown up in sunlight, not the darkness of a cell.

He could act as if he were in control of his own destiny.

It would be impossible, of course, to truly entertain these delusions. But he still likes to imagine it every now and then—particularly with you, nowadays. He thinks of it when he stares at your reflections in the mirror in the early morning, brushing your teeth side by side. He thinks of it when sees the photos that March 7th has taken of the two of you, pinned up conspicuously on your bedroom walls. He especially thinks of it when he catches himself looking at the selfies that you always insist on taking with him—which is very often, given how you like to snatch his phone and update his lockscreen with them.

To the uninformed eye, all of these scenes make the two of you look like a simple, human couple—one right out of a novel.

Dan Heng thinks about this most often: a normal life with you, in which he is not burdened with the title of Yinyue Jun. In which there is no chance of staining your future with the transgressions of his past. In which you’ve never once been hurt because of his relation to Dan Feng, and where you will never be hurt again.

If paradise is but a dream, he thinks, gazing at the contours of your soft expression, then I wish to sleep forever.

dividers by @/cafekitsune!

#its largely unedited i hope thats ok #dan heng x reader #hsr x reader #x reader #yueshuo.fics #hope thsi shows up

[sicklyseraphnsuch]

The Duality of Simon (or the Importance of Marcy)

Travel back to the early 2010s, when Adventure Time was still a fairly new thing. The fandom was growing, the theories were flowing. We've had confirmation that Ooo is in fact a post appcalyptic world. And then we get:

Here was living, breathing proof of the intersection between Ooo and our world. Simon Petrikov was a literal connection to the past, and moreover one of the ways Adventure Time really began to develop its inner tragedies.

But honestly, as sad as the Idea of Simon Petrikov was - it remained that he was a relic, an inert tragedy that was a connection to the past, but not necessarily connected to the future.

Enter:

You can mourn the losses of ages past. But it won't necessarily move you to act. Because there's nothing to compel you. You can stand to gain something but it's more important that you don't lose anything by keeping the status quo. In short, there weren't any stakes.

No, not those kind of Stakes... Well... maybe a little

So, bear in mind, Betty won't make her debut until two seasons after "Holly Jolly Secrets". To us, she was a non-entity. Simon's grief over her loss was for the audience, a mostly intellectual exercise. How sad for this poor cursed man to lose the woman he loved - replacing all proper nouns with common nouns because we didn't know Simon either. But his situation is clearly sad, just in a general, unspecific way. Because again, there's nothing at stake here.

Marcy drives thoses stakes up (and into our hearts). Suddenly, Simon becomes Very Very Real because we know Marcy. We've hung out with her for at least five seasons now leading up to the game changing "I Remember You".

By connecting Marcy to this Simon, suddenly we had something to lose - suddenly we already lost something. Marcy gave Simon's curse weight - dimension - texture - rendering it very real instead of a mere intellectual tragedy. Simon matters because he matters to someone here and now, because someone was still crying over him. And we love Marcy. We don't want her to cry.

It was through the Marcy and Simon relationship that we came to learn of and love Simon. Betty came later. Betty came after. We already loved Simon by then so learning of his love story was just building on that love. Naturally, being invested in the Simon and Betty relationship without prior connection to Simon is possible. But the fact that he was already established and endeared to the audience goes a way into investing in the Simon and Betty relationship.

So we get to Fionna and Cake.

We get exactly one scene with the Marcy we know and love. And Simon isn't even in the same room as her.

And the show is fully justified in doing so because Fionna and Cake was a series about Simon and Betty. And Simon and Marcy have little to do with that A story (the love plotline). Even if the B story (the recovery plotline) does pay homage to Simon and Marcy by showing Simon that he does have value, the homage amounts to only a few scenes (maybe cumulatively three minutes of screen time) in the whole series.

However, Simon and Marcy's relationship wasn't just to show that Simon is an integral component to the way Ooo came to be, and his impact on the people he loves. Simon and Marcy's relationship is integral to how we came to love Simon - against all odds and all tenets of common sense, a man that was slowly warped by madness chose to take care of a completely unknown little girl that he found in the wreckage of the world.

The problem here is that Marcy's Simon and Betty's Simon never got to meet in the middle. A lot of this is rooted in the original Adventure Time series where Betty and Marceline never speak more than ten words to each other.

Literally the only time they share the screen (and no I'm not counting Betty bot in Broke his Crown)

Which is BANANAS considering they are literally the two most important people in Simon's life.

And listen, again, by Fionna and Cake, we are invested in Simon and Betty, especially after what she did during the finale. We want to know about them.

And again, the Fionna and Cake series is well and wholly complete without ever having Simon and Marcy talk.

But it leaves a little ache. Because again, the first opportunity to truly love and connect with Simon came through Simon and Marcy. And we never really know how they get on now that they're back together. We seriously have maybe 10 lines of conversation between them since the finale and this includes Obsidian.

Literally, he says hi to Marcy twice and that's it. Very meaningful conversation.

Aaaand there's also the supreme irony where in one relationship, Simon never gets a chance to contribute equally, and in his other relationship, Simon wore himself down to nubs giving all that he had. But this duality within Simon is never really connected. There is a throughline here, his impulse for self sacrifice shares a root for his self centered perspective that blinded him to Betty's self effacing habits.

Now here's the thing, Fionna and Cake also built its conflict around Simon's identity and his self worth, etc. Yet it doesn't really contend with all that Simon has done without Betty, and before Ice King. By centering the narrative on only how he was with Betty (both pre and post Mushroom War), we get very little foundation laid out for what he could do after he says goodbye to her.

And this isn't a mistake because again, the series stands on its own just fine. The story works without it because at least that central relationship of Simon and Betty is fully established. But it does come at the cost of a missed opportunity to fully explore the cause of Simon's myopia, or how living through an apocalypse could reinforce that myopia because Simon keeps romanticizing "when his life was great".

Finally, the other downside is that Fionna and Cake stands on its own, maybe a little too much. It's still based on the characters of Adventure Time, building on the love for the original show. So it would have been a crowd pleaser, shall we say some fan service, to get more of what the original show worked hard to make us love.

#adventure time #fionna and cake #simon petrikov #marceline abadeer #marceline the vampire queen #betty grof

[animatedjen]

"...our Senior Producer, Paul Hatfield, had the great idea of wanting to tie in some elements of the current events that Cal was experiencing in Survivor, mixed with the lingering trauma of Cal's memory of Order 66. This led to the through line of utilizing the Koboh matter along with Venator Class Star Destroyers and ship wreckage throughout all of the Force Tear levels. For the Force Tear Arena specifically, I wanted to craft something that fulfilled that narrative while pulling inspiration from Japanese Tea and Zen gardens. I also utilized the Shattered Moon and the iconic rock formations that Kevin Quinn created for the Void in the menu/skill tree UI." - Scott Russell

#there is SO much intentionality and storytelling in every corner of this game AHHHH #star wars jedi survivor #jedi survivor #cal kestis #photomode

[amathslutsguidetofandom]

Forced Coordination - 1

PAIRINGS: Joel Miller x Reader

SUMMARY: The harshness of last winter has left hundreds of frozen Infecteds around the safe walls of Jackson. As a strategist from your job before the outbreak, you devised a smart plan. Maria assigns Joel to handle the cleanup work. However, you must work together as a pair to fulfil this task. How will it go with working with the rugged man the whole town has a crush on?

WARNINGS: Mentions of Infected, swearing, slight age gap (Joel is in his mid 40s and Reader is in her early-30s).

WORD COUNT: 1,760

ENJOY!

“You will be working with our strategist,” Maria says, crossing her arms as she leans against her desk. The sun glints through the blinds, reflecting off shiny surfaces and illuminating the semi-cramped space.

 Spring encompasses Jackson with its warmth, seeking forgiveness from the community and offering support with its gentleness after the wreckage of a winter Mother Nature had put them through.

Joel raises a brow from his place on the couch, “strategist?” One of his hand’s rests on the buckle of his belt, while the other is thrown across the arm of the couch. Joel has no idea why his sister-in-law wanted to meet up with him, but he couldn’t deny her request, knowing that Tommy might hand him his ass on a silver plate.

Maria nods, “yes, a strategist.” She walks around her desk and slides open a drawer before retrieving a manila file. “Apparently, the runners that froze over the winter are beginning to thaw, and I need someone skilled to take them out,” she thumps the file on the coffee table in front of the Texan.

Joel reaches for the file and flips through it. He saw black and white pictures of the frozen infected stuck against trees and bushes. “And you want me to sort this out?” Joel looks at Maria with a confused expression, not fully understanding the premise of this meeting.

She nods again, “the number of runners this time around has increased drastically. I can’t just send in a group of men to kill them off; that’s too risky.” And Joel agrees with her; he has seen a lot of them during his patrols over the winter.

Joel nods, “and who-” His line gets interrupted by a knock at the door. “Enter,” Maria says as she goes to sit in her chair.

You open the door slightly and peek your head in, “Maria, you asked to see me?” Maria nods and wave for you to walk in further. You comply, walking in and closing the door behind you, then turned to see another person in the room with you: Joel Miller.

You have seen Joel Miller before, seen him walking around Jackson with some teenager or on a horse at times. You have heard all the women, and some men, of Jackson talk about him and his looks. You have made eye contact with him multiple times, but it had never strayed far from just a nod from either of you.

Maria introduces him to you and vice versa. You nod at him in acknowledgment before turning back to Maria. “I thought this matter would’ve been a little more… private,” you say to Maria. Your hearing caught Joel slightly scoffing at your statement.

“Remember that infected population schematic you created?” She asks, combing through another drawer.

“I, uh, yeah, I do. Why?” You ask, leaning against the door behind you. Maria pulls out a map and pins it to the corkboard next to the couch.

Maria points at a couple of different areas on the map, saying something along the lines of ‘infected’ and ‘area’. Then she looks back at Joel. The man in question snapped out of his reverie, “pardon?”

Maria rolls her eyes, “I said, she managed to figure out an approximate number of infected that are out there around the walls of Jackson. Not only that, but she also figured out their moving patterns too,” she said, demonstrating with your work, drawings, and calculations on the map.

Joel nods, not really getting it, “alright?”

The blonde shakes her head, “I’m indirectly saying that this map is going to be your map. You’re gonna be working alongside her for the entirety of this spring.”

You straighten up, “I’m sorry, what?” You shake your head, “but I’m not in Patrol though.”

Maria nodded in understanding, “I understand. I know that you’re in Sustainability, but your observation and statistical skills are needed here now more than ever.”

You shake your head slightly, “and what about Sustainability?” You care about your work at Sustainability; you help in plantation, but not really in farming. You’re good in statistics, and your work really help in increasing the yield of crops that were grown in Jackson every year. You do good and honest work.

“I can’t just up and leave my position. What happens if-,” Maria quiets you with a raise of her hand. “I understand,” she says sternly. You bite the inside of your cheek to prevent from biting back, inhaling deeply to simmer down your anger.

“You’ll still be in Sustainability; you just have a side task to do. I expect you to not treat this task like any other, but with high importance, understood?” she looks at you, leaning back in her chair.

“Understood,” you reply, crossing your arms and looking away. “Good,” she nods and picks up a clipboard, holding it out for you, “write down anything you both might need on this, and I’ll get it for you.”

You take ahold of the clipboard and thank her when she offered a pen. You write down all the stuff that you might need before ripping the paper and handing your piece to Maria. Then you hand both the board and pen to the rugged man.

“I expect the both of you to start as soon as possible because we want this problem to be solved before we start getting problems from those things,” Maria says, rubbing her temples to soothe her headache.

-----

The sun beats down on your back as you take notes on your clipboard. Merissa yaps beside you about how last night's mac and cheese should've been named "yuck and cheese."

“I mean, we literally make the cheese. And I have it every day for breakfast. What the fuck did they do that was so out of the ordinary to make it taste like diarrhoea?” she scoffs, leaning against her tall shovel.

You wince at the description, “You didn’t have to put that description so graphically.” She gives you a tight-lipped smile, her braid falling behind and back to her back when she looks over your shoulder to see who’s approaching you two.

A throat is cleared behind you, and you turn to see who it is. It’s Joel Miller. “Afternoon,” he nods his head slightly at the two of you. He looks at Merissa, then back at you, “A word?”

You bit your lip and then look back at Merissa, “I’ll see you at tonight’s supper.” Merissa wiggles her eyebrows at you and smirks before practically shooing you into Miller’s space.

“Sorry about her, she’s just-,” he interrupts you before you could even finish your sentence.

“Maria informed me she readied a space in the warehouse and sternly said we get right to it,” he says, not looking at you, but at the workers behind you.

You didn’t understand the deal with this man. Before you were even assigned to this task, you thought that the brother-in-law of the Head of this community would be chill. Turns out he’s not. Is it because he’s old? He seemed to be in his mid-forties. You were formally introduced to the man yesterday, why was he so mean?

You squint at him, thinking about what to say next. “So, uh, do we have to-,” he interrupts you, again.

“We’ll be heading there now,” he says, still avoiding eye contact, and then beginning to move past you.

-----

The basement was chillier than the main level; you slightly shuddered when you climbed down the stairs upon entering.

The office, however, reminded you of your corporate days. Being a former strategist was the highlight of your past life—the life where you didn’t look over your shoulder every five minutes. The life where you had a stable job, enough to get by and live a simple life.

But now, your skills were used to figure out the yield of crops and the population and movement of the Infected.

Joel walks in behind you and sees the blackboard with several pieces of chalk lined on its shelf. “Wonder what that’s for,” he whispers, his accent thickening.

You walk over to it and trace your fingers over the hard surface. “I put it on my list,” you turn to look back at him, “I work better when my work is done on a board.” He didn’t look at you but at the board.

“Right,” he says, thumping his bag on the only wooden table present in the middle of the room. The dingy fluorescent light illuminated most of the space; it was just the corners that succumbed to darkness.

You see the rolled-up schematic of your plan lay behind the rolling blackboard. “You got tape?” you ask the Texan while unrolling the schematic and seeing the mapped-out area around Jackson and all the arrows and circles you made with a red marker.

You hear the scraping of a chair and feel him behind you. “Lemme,” he takes the schematic from your hands while simultaneously ripping a piece of tape from the roll using the other.

He singlehandedly manages to paste the large papers on the wall behind the blackboard. You move the blackboard so it is at an angle; you looked around the room, and you practically stand in the imaginary triangle formed by the map, table, and blackboard.

“Right, let’s get started,” you pick up the white chalk and scratch it against the blackboard.

-----

“I think we can end here for tonight,” you step back and glance at the watch on your wrist, slightly in shock that you had managed to spend five whole hours here, just talking, writing, and planning, while Joel just sat there and watched.

“Did you get what I told you, or did you blank out in between?” you ask, turning to face him.

He sat leaned back against the wooden chair. He scoffs at your question, “I caught on.”

You squint your eyes at him, “I spoke for five hours straight, and you didn’t take any notes?” He puffs air through his nose; you would consider it a chuckle, but you weren’t really betting your money on it. “Don’t need to,” he replies before standing and picking up his backpack. “That it?” he asks, looking at you.

You seriously didn’t know what the deal with this guy was.

You nod, “for today, yeah. But I assu-.” He talks over you, again.

“See you tomorrow, good day,” he nods at you before leaving you alone in the office.

That’s when you realise.

He finally looked you in the eye.

🎀🎀🎀

Here's the first CHP lovlies!!!

Lemme know what y'all think

Till' then

Stay Coquette-y,

Anya 🫶🏽🕊️🎀

#joel miller fanfiction #tlou joel miller #joel miller #the last of us fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller x reader #tlou fanfiction #joel miller smut #joel miller x you #the last of us fic #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x y/n #joel miller angst #joel miller fluff

[hal0withazer0]

Adding my own spice to the main villain of Wish, his majesty King Magnifico.

Backstory Idea

Everyone has magic within them, its what drives us to pursue our dreams. But some are born to manifest those desires into physical form. Magnifico was a prince born with a gift of sorcery. As he grew, he was highly praised for his talent as a leader and magic caster. His ego grew over the years, his narcissism being fed more by his bride to be, princess Amaya. One night, he made a wish to a star, to become the most powerful sorcerer and king of all the lands. He got his wish, but not in the way he wanted.

A rival kingdom sought a revolution, and take too over Rosas at any cost. The royal family was slain, with Magnifico and Amaya being the only survivors. With all the magic Magnifico had, he teleported his entire kingdom away to a far away island.

In the aftermath, amidst what remained of the ruined kingdom, he heard the cries of a baby. In a wreckage, he finds a little baby girl in the arms of her mother, she had used herself as a shield in her last moments. He took the baby in and raised her as his own.

Motivation

After the wish he made upon a star ended with tragedy, he grew to fear not having control of the outcome. He deems that power in the wrong hands is dangerous. He found wishes from within the heart is among the strongest. He also found those who give up their wish become complacent, if depressed. So he keeps the ones he deems unsafe, no matter how trivial, and only grants the absolute harmless ones to keep the citizens thinking that maybe "One day your wish will come true, just keep waiting"

When the star, Earendel comes and grants wishes in his town, he feels threatened. Twisted by his fears, the wish in his heart becomes malevolent, and seeks the star to drain them of their power to stay the most powerful in all the lands, at any cost.

#wish 2023 #disney wish #king magnifico #wish rewrite #wish reimagined #wish asha #princess asha #magnifico x amaya #wish disney #my art #digital art

[steddieunderdogfics]

This week’s writer spotlight feature is:  deadratz/@munsonkitten! They have 32 works in the Stranger Things fandom on AO3 and 31 of those are in the Steddie tag!

Our anonymous nominator recommends the following works by @munsonkitten:

the sound of silence

float among the wreckage

share the same space for a minute or two

you make me feel like i am whole again

sugar on my tongue

"In a fandom with over 20 thousand fics, it's hard to find fics that stand out, and Grim has so many that feel like a breath of fresh air for the characters. His specialty is exploring Eddie's trauma, past and present, and being patient with letting him heal in a messy, realistic way that tears your heart out and puts it back. Grim takes on topics that can be difficult to explain, like trauma and gender exploration, and puts them into words so perfectly. His fics are entertaining and heartfelt and always hot, no matter which one you open, you're in for a treat and he has some hidden gems! Regardless of what's popular, Grim stays true to the characters and it's easy to trust him with them, and that's something to appreciate!" -- anonymous

Below the cut, @munsonkitten answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

When Season 4 came out, I had lost all motivation in my old fandoms. I hadn’t written anything in months, but then I saw Eddie and fell in love instantly. As I was watching, I started to have this little thought like “is anyone else seeing this?” when I saw Steve and Eddie interact, and I ended up on AO3, reading through anything that looked good out of the 300 fics that came out in those first couple of days, and then I kept reading, and I was completely inspired. I was pulled in, and I tried to write something between volumes 1&2 that didn’t go anywhere, but I didn’t want to give up on them because there was just this pull that kept me thinking of them, and then, of course, we saw Eddie’s fate and I immediately had to rectify that in my own way. I love writing Steve and Eddie because they come from very different worlds, but as a queer punk who also played sports in high school, I know firsthand how those worlds can collide and I can relate to both Steve and Eddie and how they fit into their places as the freak/jock. There’s also just a certain coziness that comes with writing Steddie for me, like they’re familiar and something I can find safety in. They’re both complex characters with traumatic experiences and there’s comfort in that and there’s comfort in being able to process my own life through the perspective of the two of them and apply different things to their canon personalities and backstories. It really comes down to, like, even though they’ve fought monsters, they’re really just regular guys, too. They’re relatable and accessible because their lives are pretty average without the monster stuff. I don’t find myself wasting time doing tons of research about certain jobs or lifestyles as I have with other pairings in the past. Steddie has just given me a lot of freedom to do what I want.

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

There are so many tropes that I love. I think a lot of them depend on how they’re written, of course, so even tropes I don’t typically like to read can end up being really good to me. My go-to answer for this is usually pre-dating sharing a bed/only one bed, whether they’re sharing because they get paired up together on a trip; they’re laying low at Steve’s and Steve needs to keep an eye on Eddie while he’s healing; nightmares bringing them to each other in the middle of the night; or one of them just crashing in the other’s bed. I think there’s something so intimate about the way these scenes can be written, something very vulnerable that I just love. There’s a lot of trust that goes into being comfortable enough sleeping near someone else, and I think it’s a really good way to start Steve and Eddie’s relationship. I also love, love like any kind of friends with benefits situation where they’re obviously pining for each other and completely in love but try to pretend the things they do together is just “helping a friend out,” while mutually being in denial of feelings. It serves for great tension and there’s always really good pay off when they start dating.

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

My answer for this is really similar to the last one. First and foremost, I write what I want to read. I’m just very drawn to these kinds of fics with pre-relationship intimacy that turns into something solid between them. So I love writing only one bed and pining/fwb/friends to lovers fics as much as I love reading them.

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

It’s hard to choose just one favorite after almost two years of reading Steddie fics, but some real stand out fics for me that I’ve read fairly recently have been Trouble Looks Good on You by indelicate, Metamorphoses by fastcardotmp3, Play it Right by stereobone, and Doing Nothing with You by redoaktree. All of these give such nice depth to the characters and their situations and have stuck with me. “Trouble” is still ongoing, but I trust Rue (indelicate) with these characters so much that I can say it’s one of my favorites without having the entire fic yet. It just hits so many of my boxes for Steddie, has all the right factors for a phenomenal fic, and stays so true to the characters in my opinion.

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

I have so many plans for upcoming fics, but one I’ve been trying to find time to write for over a year now deals with a lot of grief/mourning of a loved one and includes rockstar!Eddie with a good slooow burn. It’s all things I’ve somewhat explored, but want to really expand upon with this one. I feel like I haven’t written a proper slow burn, either, because I tend to do fwb situations with slow burns on the emotional aspects and admitting feelings part of their relationship, and I want to do a full slowburn in more aspects of their relationship. 

What is your writing process like?

Usually I’m inspired by something, whether it’s a situation that happens to me or something I see on TV, and I think about what kinds of stories could be told with those elements. Sometimes I take one trope and try to build a fic around it, sometimes I see a tiktok or a scene in a show and decide I need to use that in something. Other times, I just have a sentence in my head that I have to write down and it turns into a whole page and then suddenly I have 5k words. A lot of my process is spent brainstorming with friends, talking through scenarios and seeing what kinds of responses they get, other times I have an idea and I run with it and don’t tell anyone until it’s done. There are some fics I’ve fully outlined and then gone in completely different directions, and there are some fics I never wrote down a single note for. I’ve had a few fics that started as just single sentences and turned into paragraphs and merged them with other ideas in other documents. My process is kind of chaotic and always changes, if I’m being honest, but it works for me. I think it entirely depends on the mood of the fic I’m trying to write, how much research goes into it, and how long it’s going to be, and all of that. Sometimes I’ll sit down to write something fully knowing it won’t go anywhere just to get me into a writing mood. I’m really all over the place with my process.

Do you have any writing quirks?

I don’t know if this is really a quirk, but I’m the type of person who will go weeks without writing anything and then suddenly have an entire chapter or oneshot finished in two days. I procrastinate until I realize I need to do something or until inspiration really hits me and then I just lock it in and write nonstop until it’s done.

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

This is kind of fic-dependent. If I know for sure that I have the time and motivation for a story, I post as soon as I get chapters finished. If I know I don’t have the capacity for another long form fic, I’ll write out the first chapter and leave it in my drafts until I get a bit further on it, just working when I’m between other projects or stumped on something else. I wouldn’t exactly say I post on a schedule because it’s nowhere near consistent, but I’ve never finished a full multi-chaptered fic before I start posting. I do write a lot of oneshots and two chapter shorter fics, though, so those two chaptered ones are usually close to finished before I post them.

Which fic are you most proud of?

Hands down, the sound of silence. They’re not done yet, but ‘you make me feel like i am whole again,’ and ‘sugar on my tongue’ are also up there with ‘sound of silence.’ It’s my longest fic in this fandom (currently) and my second longest fic I’ve ever written. I put so much of myself into this fic and I’m just really proud of myself for it. There were some definite challenges with this one, with one character in the main pairing barely having any dialogue for the first half of the fic, with the other half of the pairing navigating his newfound sexuality and his life being turned upside down yet again, and I also have a few outsider POVs like Wayne, El, Robin and Hopper sprinkled in there, which is always difficult to work in for me. I’m proud of myself for doing all of that and finishing it.

How did you get the idea for the sound of silence?

This fic started as two separate documents, just unconnected pieces of different stories, both of them hitting dead ends with no hope for continuation. I had started with just a simple idea of Wayne and Steve meeting after the events of season 4 put Eddie in the hospital, and I wanted to show the way Wayne cares for the people who love Eddie, and that ended up becoming the beginning of the fic once I put all the pieces together. The other document I had started around the same time was a short Wayne POV about living with Eddie after S4 and the person he turned into after losing so much of himself. I wanted to explore the idea of someone as loud as Eddie going non-verbal for weeks to months at a time (something I explored in a different fandom, so that sort of inspired me to write SOS too), and when I finally put those together, it just felt like everything was so clear to me and I took off with these ideas.

When writing float among the wreckage, what was something you didn’t expect?

Oh boy. This one was actually difficult for me because I wanted it to be a hate sex fic, and I realized I’m just incapable of making Steve and Eddie hate each other at all. I did something like that one other time earlier when the fandom was still pretty new, but wreckage came to me nearly a year into writing them and I’d really cemented the idea of these characters in my head, and it was just… Very unexpected that I struggled to tap into that tension and hatred. It ended up being less about hating each other and more about misplaced/misidentified feelings in the end.

What inspired share the same space for a minute or two?

I think my friend Teddy actually gave me the main idea for this one. An end of the world “I’m going to die a virgin” apocalypse setting during “season 5.” From that, I just started writing and saw where it took me, and I’m happy with where I took it. Sometimes all I need is one sentence and then I have 11k words written in just a few days, and that fic was one of those times.

What was your favorite part to write from sugar on my tongue?

This is a really hard question because I love so much of this fic and it’s still ongoing so I might still write something I love even more than any previous parts. Without giving too much away, it’s probably a tie between their first smut scene in chapter 1, their club night in chapter 2, and the part in chapter 3 where Eddie’s walking down the road after he runs out of gas and has a lot of introspection about his life and how he finds safety in Steve. One of my close friends told me the writing in that last part was beautiful and I’ve since decided it’s one of my favorite things I’ve written.

How do/did you feel writing the sound of silence?

Sound of Silence was very cathartic for me. I’m so proud of this fic and it deals with so much I rarely see in fanfiction – some of the topics are unsexy and there are a lot of symptoms of mental illness that are highly stigmatized that people just might not want to read in a story. But I knew it was the story I needed to tell for Eddie, mostly, but for Steve, too, and for myself. It’s not always happy, but it’s real to me. Life can be ugly and people can be volatile and traumatized and struggle with sexual function and have undesirable compulsions, and writing that whole fic felt like a release in a way because it’s stuff I relate to and stuff my best friends have also gone through. And the comments on this fic have made me feel seen and less alone in the things I struggle with that I had Steve and Eddie struggle with, as well. I think it’s just really important to have those fics that give at least one reader some comfort in their own situations.

What was the most difficult part of writing you make me feel like i am whole again?

This fic is about gender identity and pregnancy and love and all sorts of stuff that can be hard to put into words. I’ve never experienced a pregnancy, so there’s a lot of research that goes into that, a lot of reading firsthand accounts and finding out all sorts of things that weren’t taught in sex-ed classes. It’s also been a very vulnerable fic for me because Steve and Eddie both experience gender in ways that I do, too. Every time I write about identity and dysphoria through them, I’m putting parts of myself on display for others, and that can be hard, especially when people don’t always understand. I’m very protective over this fic, and I’ve had to defend aspects of it from people who can’t always accept other people’s experiences with gender identity and queerness. That’s been difficult, even well meaning comments can come across as criticism when the writing is so close to home, and it’s been a struggle to keep my head on straight with this one. But as difficult as that may be, the pros outweigh the cons with this fic. It’s so rewarding when people DO relate to the things I write about, and it’s been validating for my own identity and I’ve been told so many times the fic has felt validating to others, too. So as difficult as it can be, I wouldn’t change anything. 

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

I mentioned this bit of sugar on my tongue earlier and I think it’s my current favorite, but I have so many scenes and lines from other fics I’d consider my favorites: The sun beats down on his face and arms. He’s burning, red skin and hot tears. He feels like he needs to crawl out of his own skin. To leave it on the ground and walk away someone else.  Someone who doesn’t have to deal with Al Munson, doesn’t have to deal with a town that hates him for things he didn’t do. He wants to be someone who doesn’t have to be Eddie Munson at all. He just wants to be someone else, to feel safe in the skin he wears.  He thinks Steve might be the only person who makes him feel that way, even if it’s only for a glimpse, a small fraction of his life. Even if it’s just in the quiet hours of the morning when they’re curled up in Eddie’s bed, or when they’re just two boys kissing in a bar where no one knows their names. He wants to feel like that again. Safe. 

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

I’m helping with a Sub Eddie Week event in April, so if anyone wants to do a fic or art for that event, you can find all info @subeddieweek. Most of my upcoming work is going to be made for this event, so stay tuned.

Thank you to our author, @munsonkitten, and our anonymous nominator! See more of deadratz works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

#writer's spotlight #steddie #steddie fic recs #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve x eddie #stranger things #steddie writers

[lowpolyshadow]

i transcribed the sonadow bumblekast episode so you don't have to

hopefully the formatting isn't really weird lol

Kyle: So this time, for Pride Month, we get to address the hypothetical fandom ship that's probably helped more than a few Sonic fans figure out their sexuality: Sonadow! A lot of straight fans probably had Rouge or Sally be their awakening, so don't throw stones. 

Ian: True, true. 

Kyle: Shadow is not quite in a place where it's easy to imagine him having a healthy romantic relationship. But it is honestly a bit problematic to have one character shift until they're suitable for another, unless it's a mutual situation. How would you execute the character growth for Shadow and Sonic that would most help enable Sonadow? 

Ian: There would have to be an understood vulnerability to Shadow, he would have to open up to a degree that makes him more accessible at a personal level, and it doesn't take much? We've seen hints of it throughout his appearances, it would just need to become established, and that I think is all you really need to build that bridge because Sonic is casual and accepting enough as he is, and he's going to allow Shadow to be who he is which is kind of prickly and standoffish as you would have that occasional moment where Shadow lets his guard down and is more empathetic or emotionally available. But otherwise they would both play it fairly cool and aloof I think (lol). 

Kyle: Yeah, they're together. What of it? So? Big deal. I like it.  There are obviously a lot of different popular ships in Sonic. In order to make one really stand out, you'd probably need to really spark intrigue on it before pushing the two characters together. How would you arrange the first key romantic spark that was intended to drive the fans towards wanting them together? 

Ian: I think it stems more from the characters already having good chemistry. I mean you look at the fandom in general and the fleet of ships that are sailing and all of them are based off of the fact that these characters are fun in their interactions regardless of who we're talking about. So if it were an intention of building something from scratch, for most of the Sonic cast, I think the work's already been done and there's already a great deal of trust and mutual respect between most of the characters. It would just be a matter of realizing that there is more than respect, there's more than kinship, there's a romantic affinity, and for one of those characters to make that realization and start to pursue it in their own particular way.  And then it becomes a question of well, is the object of their affection going to reciprocate? And if they don't, which leads to an interesting story of, now that they are on this path, yeah, they know that this is an option, do they come around to it? Or do they not? Are both characters kind of interested but they don't want to take that first step and so you have that carrot on a stick that is ever so effective for however long you want to run it? 

(laughing) 

Kyle: There's nothing that gets, uh, Sonic's motor running more than being called a faker. Apparently. 

(more laughing) 

Ian: Oh, he'll show you how real he is. 

Kyle: Oh, no! This is a family show, sir!

(even more laughing) 

With that idea fresh in our minds, how would you make it official for the two of them? 

Ian: God, if that ever came to pass. (lol) 

Kyle: I feel like it would have to be kind of like, understated? Like it would just kind of happen? 

Ian: Yeah, I've, they're both so cool and aloof in their own way, I don't see them making any kind of dramatic declaration or ... suddenly turning all mushy and lovey-dovey, it's not who they are. Um ... I, you know, the adventure concludes and they're standing side by side on the hillside looking at the sunset and the wreckage ... and they share, you know, a compliment, and instead of like a fist bump or a "see you next time" and, y'know, one of them runs off ... maybe they throw arms around each other or something and just kind of stand there. Again, they're not gonna be all "mweh mehmehmeh" ... tonsil action, it's, I see them being very chill about it all. 

(lol) 

Kyle: Also, keep in mind everyone, this is all just ... 'fan ideas', this is probably never gonna happen, it's very unlikely, we're just having fun here. 

Ian: It's hypothetical situations that I am approaching as reasonably and as authentically as I can. 

Kyle: Yes, yes, just to keep that in mind, just keeping everybody on the same page here. 

Ian: I am not endorsing, I am not unendorsing, 

I am just answering questions. Everybody simmer. 

Kyle: Let's assume that for whatever reason Shadow decided to seek out advice from the following, and whoever he asked has to answer with an honest attempt at the best advice they could offer. How would Professor Gerald, Dr. Eggman, the Commander, and Black Doom advise him? 

Ian: Gerald would be the most wholesome and effective, I think. I think he understands people better than ... certainly a lot of his family. Uh, and would advise Shadow to look inward to ask himself what he really wants, and to ruminate on that and then act with caution, you know, don't be hasty on this particular thing. Like all great research, it takes time to get the results that, you know, you want, or the results that will come to be - don't take anything as a given, but don't be afraid to pursue the truth, whatever that may be.  Eggman would scoff at the notion and, you know, sarcastically offer to set him up on a date, making it quite clear that it would all be a trap and an ambush and whatever. The Commander ... I don't see as being a very romantic individual, but I think he might be direct about that, right. He would say that his partner was someone he managed to find for himself, but that was largely thanks to her, and her efforts, because he was kind of clueless about this, but Shadow is also kind of in the same boat so you know, maybe ... at least be aware of your surroundings? If someone is prepared to make that gesture, be ... ready to receive it and understand it for what it is. How do you do that? He's not quite sure how he figured it out himself but you know, he's not good at this sort of thing.  And Black Doom would again, scoff. Love is a weakness, it is a distraction at best, a malady at worst, it is ... an affliction of the mind. An illusion created by inferior beings to facilitate necessary natural processes. You do not need love, you do not need anyone, you are my Ultimate Weapon now go get me them Chaos Emeralds. 

Kyle: (laughing) Those damn fourth Chaos Emeralds! They're all fourth!

Ian: (mimicking Black Doom) Honestly, Shadow, what's love got to do, got to do with it. What's love but a second hand emotion. 

Kyle: (laughing) Well, we all know Shadow can't resist a dying wish. Let's say in the aftermath of a terrifying evil scheme, Eggman once more had to team up with the heroes to save the world, but he died in the process, leaving Sage and her brothers in the care of his uncle and uncle-in-law. Assuming that if money were real, GUN would pay the kind of money that would keep a classy act like Rouge on staff so the boys don't need to change their heroics too much, how would they do as parents to Sage, Orbot, Cubot, and after a while if she so chose, potentially Belle? 

(THIS IS METAL ERASURE >:( whatever he doesn't wanna be part of this family anyways)

Ian: I'm a little lost in the wording on who is acting as surrogate parents here.

Kyle: I think it might supposed to be Sonic and Shadow ... but Rouge is also there? I think? 

Ian: Well I mean someone would have to look after the kids because it ain't gonna be them. 

Kyle: (laughing) No, I guess not?!

Ian: I mean, Sonic would Sonic would kind of show up for birthdays and events and to check in but he's ... he's not the stay at home dad. He's not the stay in one place dad, he's the dad who gets his steps in, if you catch my meaning.

Kyle: Okay, no, it was more an example of they’re ... willing to pay Rouge ... so they would be willing to also pay them ... so ... but ... I guess Rouge would not be the caretaker. So ... they would have to be the caretakers ... I don't think it would go well! Luckily, I think they're self-sufficient ... for the most part ... (starting to lose it)

Ian: I mean I can't really see GUN letting them off ... interestingly, to anyone. They would be on facility. But it would be Sonic and Shadow weighing heavily saying they're not captives, they're not tech to be assimilated into the greater GUN network, they are wards of your facility, right? Right? Which again, Sonic would be checking in on occasion to make sure that it's going well. And maybe Shadow would kind of become a satellite agent of GUN, just keep tabs on everything, check in on the others to some degree ... but ... we wouldn't have a case of My Two Dads on this one, they're not the parental types.

Kyle: We probably shouldn't trust GUN with child care. Probably not. Even robot children.

Ian: And ... you don't even need them to be a pair to get the kind of ... bickering parental - conflicting parental guidelines in this scenario. Sonic would be very much, ehhh let them stay up, let him eat ice cream, let them do whatever they want, Shadow's like no, they need discipline, you're going to spoil them.

Kyle: Worst fathers ever.

Ian: Belle I ... I, again, I can't really see as a parental role but I could see her as the put upon babysitter. She tries her best to look after them and keep things under control but ... honestly ... they're Egg tech, they're not going to cooperate all that much.

Kyle: ... Yeah ... yeah I guess ... Belle would have to be the older sister and she'd probably end up being the one who does most of the work. Ugh.

Ian: Someone who tried to stop the caper of stealing the Commander's loafer or something. "I'm gonna get in trouble you guys! Stop!"

Kyle: Alright. Shadow is immortal, he will probably outlive Sonic. Unfortunately, given Sonic's lifestyle, that may not be that hard ... although given Shadow's first adventure, it could go either way. Sonic would probably understand that Shadow copes with things like this better when he has a sense of meaningful purpose to focus on. This seems like the type of thing Shadow would project onto his partner if it came to it, so what would each other ... so what if ... so what would each of their dying wishes to each other be?

Ian: Morbid. 

Kyle: (lol) 

Ian: You're going for the beautiful sadness type of thing I think. Uh, Sonic's would be ... what he wishes for everyone, is to be true to yourself and to live free. Perhaps that be true to yourself ringing a little more resoundly in Shadow's case, you know, don't close yourself off ... again. You know, be free to open up to someone else again down the road, and just be honest with yourself and be free to make that choice. 

Kyle: Open your heart, Shadow, it'll be alright.

(laughing)

Dammit! You would do that. 

Ian: Yeah, I absolutely would. 

(more laughing)

As for Shadow ... he would want Sonic to endure, you know, to just continue to carry on ... to not be defeated by anything. To find a way to escape death and just continue being, because, you know who else can replace him? Nobody. He would want that to endure forever.

Kyle: Yep. Good thing Sonic's got extra lives.

So Sonic and Shadow have gotten engaged, and they're trying to figure out how to approach their family name. Would Sonic take Shadow's last name, or Shadow take Sonic's, each keep their own, or each add the other's with a hyphen? Given Shadow's right to certain other last names, there could be a timeline with a Sonic Robotnik or (losing it) Sonic Doom.

Ian: No, they'd go with their current surnames, and as a sign of solidarity, they would just swap them so it would become Sonic the Hedgehog and Shadow the Hedgehog.

Kyle: Right, okay, okay ... good, good. Yeah, okay, it'll be fine, as long as Shadow doesn't take Maurice or something we'll be good.

(laughing)

Sonic and Shadow the Hedgehog. No relation.

Ian: We could hyphenate it! Sonic the Hedgehog-Hedgehog! (Shadow voice) Don't make me regret my decisions. 

Kyle: Too late, he already does. He already does.  Sonic has a great found family, and presumably in order to get Shadow to a point where he could date Sonic we'd be dealing with a much more Team Dark take on Shadow, who also has that. How would they both adapt to regularly hanging out with each other's found family? 

Ian: Uhhh ... The Sonic side of things is always very opening and it's ... open and accepting. And that's ... hilarious ... to the Team Dark side of things, because you can take such advantage of that. I think there would be attempts made on Team Sonic's side to incorporate everyone into the big happy family and eventually it would come to the understanding that, you know, there's appreciation ... there's respect, but there also needs to be distance. It's okay that they only get together for like, the holidays, and then they all keep to themselves. Nothing against anybody it's just, you know, oil and water don't necessarily mix all the time. And the time Rouge stole the Christmas presents ... Knuckles’s still a little salty about that one. 

Kyle: Aw. Poor Knuckles.  I play a lot of DnD with my boyfriend, he's big into it and happy to have another person for his DnD groups. Meanwhile I always enjoyed the little bit I got to play, but didn't get the opportunity as much in the past. It is unfortunately, for him, very much a ... forever DM for the group he has assembled. With this new little family we've assembled around the Sonadow pairing, who would be their forever DM? Omega is a war forged Barbarian, right? I mean yes. I mean ... you mean in the game? I mean he could be whatever he wants in the game, but in real life, yes.

Ian: I think you could make a case he's war forged Barbarian in every connotation of the word. 

Kyle: Pretty much! 

Ian: Uh ... I can't remember how we ... because I feel like this ties into just general DnD, we've been asked this before ... I would think Tails would be the DM. 

Kyle: Yeah ... yeah, Tails is the one who has the most, uh ... patience, I think, to really learn stuff. Amy maybe. 

Ian: Maybe ... I mean, he would like to construct the campaigns, he would be the better rules lawyer between the two of them. Um, I think he might be a little more of a stickler than Amy, I think Amy would allow for a little more rule of cool, but I don't think Tails would be obnoxious about it, you know. If you roll a one and things have gone very badly, he'd be trying to help you figure out a way around it. It's like, you know, okay, this is a bad situation! What do you see around you that could stop you from being on fire? Or, Amy! Don't you remember you have this particular Scroll of Healing or whatever? I - I haven't played DnD I don't know.

Kyle: I mean, yeah, that exists, it's fine, you got it. 

Ian: He wouldn't be a "rocks fall, everyone dies" DM, but he would be someone who's like, no, you can't fudge the numbers, you miss. "How do you mean I miss, I'm right in his face!" You rolled a two, what can I tell you! 

Kyle: He might think about "rocks fall, everyone dies" for a second, though, once again fed up - 

Ian Every turn, Omega's like "I KILL EVERYONE IN THE ROOM." Even the party? "YES." No, you can't do that! "IT IS IN CHARACTER." I don't care!!!!

(laughing) 

Kyle: Oh man, yeah, I mean, I don't know how long it would take for him to get fed up with Monty Python references but ... (lol) Probably not very long. Uh, and it turns out Monty Python is an actual python comedian in their world, and ... (losing it again) I'm here for it. That'd be cool. Time for the coveted Digimon question! I don't know who's coveting the Digimon questions, but alright, I guess Twilord is. In Digimon, there's a concept of DNA digivolution, where two digimon can fuse together. Sometimes this phenomenon creates a mental link between the Tamers and lets them glimpse each other's thoughts and feelings. This admittedly varies a bit so you have a lot of creative freedom on your solution. Assume the two of them were closeted for lack of it having come up yet, from those whose Digimon starters you might've ... you might choose to have DNA digivolve with Sonic's or Shadow's partners ... which partners figure it out from the basic mental connection, and of them how would they handle knowing without being told? I'm assuming that ... like, they have not confessed their love for each other but they somehow use this to figure it out.

Ian: And really ... Digimon ... it's not asking about the Digimon themselves, it's acting as Sonic and Shadow are the trainers, right. 

Kyle: Right. 

Ian: Uh ... The hardest question of this is who is more obtuse between the two of them ... 

Kyle: (LMAO) Yes. That's the answer. 

Ian: Shadow ... in general ... might be a little quicker on the draw ... so he would make the realization and that might prompt him to ... open up ... whereas Sonic just already kind of took it as a given, it wasn't really a realization to him, so he didn't really think much of it. 

Kyle: I guess ... Yeah, I guess that kind of fits. I guess that fits. 

Ian: (Shadow voice) Once we were linked, I cam to a realization ... and well, now that I know it's reciprocated, I guess I can say I'm really into you.  (Sonic voice) Oh yeah, I already knew. 

Kyle: (laughing) Yeah, everyone's into me. No, no that's not what I mean - 

Ian: (Shadow voice) It means you don't have a romantic bone in your body. 

Kyle: (LOSING IT me too dude) I think the idea ... apparently .. I'm getting word that the idea behind this question was that they haven't told anyone yet, and their friends find out this way.

Ian: Ohhh, okay. 

Kyle: Okay. Well here's the thing ... Most people in Sonic's world are very accepting and everything, so I don't think it would ... be a big deal? (lol) 

Ian: Yeah, I mean, if anything ... the biggest reaction would come out of Amy. There might be shock she found out ... Well, shocked at first, but if she found out, and they haven't really opened up to each other yet about it, she would go hardcore matchmaker. 

Kyle: Oh, no! (laughing) 

Ian: Like, if they both feel that way, and they aren't being honest with their affections, ohhhh no no no, she will not let that stand. Nope. She will move heaven and earth to see love realized. 

Kyle: (laughing) Even if it's not Sonic loving her, I guess, huh? (more laughing)

Ian: Disappointed, sure ... but, y'know, fine. What she wants is for him to be open and true with himself, and true with others. Love is a powerful force in the universe, and she will see its will done. 

Kyle: Yeah (lol), she is a true ally, yes. 

Ian: A real intense ally. 

Kyle: (laughing) Kind of frightening. 

Ian: Again, put down the torches and pitchforks, this is a hypothetical, this is for funsies. Let it be. 

Kyle: Yes, let's have some fun. 

Ian: Moving on, he's got a question for you, Kyle. 

Kyle: Alright. 

Ian: So in terms of romantic progression for fictional characters, you would say that after the romcom where the parents get home together in the sitcom where they all have to live their lives together ... can you please pitch me three episode ideas for the up and never coming sitcom, The Hedge Hogs, for me to rate?

Kyle: Oh, no. Uh, I didn't read this before we started! Uh ... hm ... come up with these on the fly ... um ... I'm like, not great at that. Let me think here ... Let me think here …

Ian: Let me help you out. 

Kyle: Okay, hit me. 

Ian: Fast and the Furious ... they both run out to get takeout quickly and they deal with incorrect orders. 

Kyle: Okay - 

Ian: Becomes a conflict of their personalities where Sonic's like hey, I'll take the pickles off! And Shadow's like he said no pickles. 

Kyle: Okay .. ! (laughing) Yeah, that's good. That's good. Um ... Hm ... hmm ... God, I really am bad at this (lol). I feel like there has to be one where they're trying to drive somewhere and they can't decide ... they'd like get lost, and then one of them is like, you don't need directions - it'd probably be Sonic, Sonic would be driving and he refuses to ask for directions, and Shadow's like trying to get him to pull over and ask for it. 

Ian: (Shadow voice) Please, pull over. 

Kyle: (laughing) Yeah, yeah ... I mean, that's another trope of sitcoms. (lol) 

Ian: Here's one for you ... Surprise Control - Sonic and Shadow are each trying to prepare a birthday surprise party for the other, not realizing that, son of a gun, they share the same birthday! No, they've never actually discussed this or put it together. Hijinx ensue. 

Kyle: (laughing) Do they, actually? - No, nono, Sonic Adventure 2's like a few days before ... but, you know, it's funnier if they do. 

Ian: Rouge is the first one to figure it out and she runs interference to make sure nobody clears it up for them. 

Kyle: (laughing) Yeah, yeah, I like that one ... Alright, let's see - 

Ian: Turns into a big blow up where they're both angry that neither of them knew what each other's actual birthday was, and then the tension is broken when Omega pops out of the cake like Marilyn Monroe. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE TWO OF YOU. 

Kyle: (laughing) And then ... he sets off the fireworks. Which are actually just …

Ian: Omega, not inside the HOUSE- !!!! 

Kyle: (LAUGHING) Which are actually just more DAKKA.

Ian: Has to be inside an apartment complex so Eggman can pull a Newman(?). "Hello, Sonic." 

Kyle: (losing it) Ohhh, nooo ... 

Ian: "I hear you've got the prime time cable package. Mind if I come in to play games on it?" ... Yeah, sure I guess, it's fine - "COME ON KIDS, HE SAID IT'S FINE!" 

Kyle: (still laughing) Oh, no .... 

Ian: Orbot ... Cubot ... Tribot ... a few Egg pawns ... 

Kyle: (laughing) Uh, who's the Kramer in this situation? (laughing) Knuckles?

Ian: Big the Cat. 

Kyle: Okay. 

Ian: Exact same mannerisms. 

Kyle: OKAY. (laughs) Yeah, okay. 

Ian: You know, mid conversation busts down the door, (Big voice) Froggy? Froggy, where are you? 

Kyle: (truly shitting it now) Oh, no ... Oh, no ... Oh nohoho ... The episode where Shadow's parents all come over for the holidays ... All four of them ... 

Ian: (cackles) (Shadow voice) Why do I have so many parents ... 

(laughing) 

(Black Doom voice) Now, we shall air our grievances on this festivus ... Shadow, finish the bowl. 

Kyle: (losing his mind) 

Ian: (Black Doom voice) Festivus ... is for the rest of us ... 

Kyle: Oh, boy. Oh boy. Terrible. I love it. I love it ... Alright, I think that's enough.

Ian: It certainly is. Happy pride month to all of you celebrating. Be good to yourselves, be good to each other, and we will see you next time.

#it was just for friends in a discord server but i mean why not put it up for the world #i did it all by ear and just typing as i listened for a second go round so if it's not 100% accurate don't be mean to me <3 #i'm going to have a stroke but at the same time this just validated a lot of my thoughts about their respective personalities so it's like #this made me happy. im also going to implode from surrealness #sonadow #speaking

[blue-sadie]

The Ones I Don't Remember

Moon System x Wife Reader

Series Masterlist

Prt 1 of the Different Versions Series

Summary: waiting is more tiring then being together, what changed was it you or him?

Warning: car crash

Yn/3rd person pov

I huffed lightly as I played with the cold food on my plate, I was waiting for him but I knew it was a lost cause my eyes lazily moved over the clean apartment that I cleaned and decorated for this very special occasion.

I'd be lucky to even get a 'looks good' from one of them, I sighed dropping my fork onto the plate running my hands over my face "I'm so tired" I whispered the feeling of hurt crowding my heart again I let my hands fall to my sides as I got up rolling my shoulders to rid of the stress.

I picked up the two full plates of food putting them into his microwave and grabbing a few containers to put away the left overs, my phone buzzed with a notification but I ignored it putting the leftovers into the fridge, it buzzed a few more times before it turned into my ring tone echoing through the apartment.

I closed my eyes taking a deep breath before picking it up "hel-" I spoke but got interrupted by his rigid breathing "come pick me up" he muttered I already know who was talking.

"Marc w-" he didn't let me finish my sentence before hanging up another notification was him sending me his location "unbelievable" I let out a forced laugh as I rolled my eyes.

I grabbed my keys and coat taking my time to get to my car, he made me wait so I'm making him wait, I sighed getting into the car putting the key in with a click the radio started to play softly as I turned the car on, the soft tones slightly calming me down.

I pulled out the parking of his building only glancing at my phone for directions "on our fucking anniversary" I spat my knuckles turning white as I gripped the steering wheel.

It was 30 minutes to get to Marc's location it was in the outskirts of the city, it was a dimly lit road only surrounded by a few abandoned buildings I couldn't see anything in till I squinted looking carefully I saw the wreckage of about 6 cars the puddles of blood but no bodies.

"What the fuck" I muttered bringing the car into a holt "what have you done" I whispered unbuckling my seat belt and climbed out looking at the damage that has been down.

"Finally" I jumped as he landed infront of me his suit overed in blood and his mask was off his face littered in splats of blood and tiny cuts "what the fuck happened" I muttered gesturing to the mess.

"That's none of your concern" he grumbled as he rounded the car to get to the other side "kinda is when your covered in blood" I muttered my anger slowly raising as we climbed  into the car.

"Its not mine so it shouldn't matter" he sighed using one of his hands to run a hand over his face leaning on the car door his eyes staring dead ahead.

I bit the inside of my cheek holding back on my anger "but why tonight" I asked my voice bearly louder then a whisper he huffed turning his head towards me his eyes glaring holes in the side of my head.

"Yea like I can tell a God to wait till tomorrow" he muttered, my heart pinged with pain 'but you used to do that' I thought back to the good times before everything turned to shit.

The date nights he planned, to him showing up at my work with 2 dozen roses and my favorite coffee or when he forgot a date the lengths he went through to make it up to me what changed?

I glanced at him my eyes filled with hurt "what happened to us" I murmured my voice slightly wavering he dropped his head growling in annoyance "let's not talk about this yn" he didn't even use my nickname anymore.

My eyes glazed over with tears as I bit my lip "we have to talk about it sometime" he groaned as I spoke again I could see him clench his fists tightly "we could work this o-".

"Just stop ok" I tensed as he raised his voice at me "there's nothing to fix because it can't be ok" he seethed with anger a silent cry rippled through my body and I turned my head away so he couldn't see my tears but that's when I saw it.

"Marc" I murmured but he didn't answer "marc" I said making him shout again "wha-" but he couldn't finish a car had rammed into us hard making us swerve into the barrier "fuck" I cried out in pain as the indent squished my leg and my head collided with the door.

Marc's eyes stared at me with concern and pain of his own but he didn't speak "Marc d-dont leave me" I cried as he got out "no" he yelled and another impact made the car flip over the barrier.

I screamed out as the car rolled only stopping with it came into contact with a tree landing upside down I cried out more as the metal dug into my leg my blood running dripping onto the roof beside my head.

I looked around trying to look for something to help me pry me out but there was nothing "marc" I yelled but started coughing soon after my lungs felt like they were collapsing.

My eyes started becoming hazy and my mind foggy I must have lost alot of blood I reached out my hand to grab a hold of the metal that was impaling my leg, I screamed out as I slowly pulled it out of my leg with my remaining strength.

"Fuck" I yelled the pain and blood only increasing "yn" I heard marc called and his thundering footsteps fast approaching "yn" his voice was filled with panic as he came to a stop at my door.

He pulled open the door his breath hitching as he saw my state he carefully kneeled down beside me pushing his arms underneath me, I cried out in pain as he lifted me up.

I heard him speak but the words were muffled "t-tired" I whimpered my eyes becoming more heavier with each passing second, the only good thing was the pain was slowly subsided my eyes slowly fluttered shut.

"Stay with me stay with me don't you dare close your eyes"

#marvel #marvel x reader #marvel fanfiction #marvel angst #marvel x reader angst #moon knight #moon knight x reader #moon knight angst #moon knight x reader angst #moon system x reader #moon system #moon system angst #moon system x reader angst #oscar isaac #oscar isaac characters #oscar isaac characters x reader #oscar isaac fanfiction #oscar isaac fanfic series #steven grant angst #steven grant #steven grant x reader #steven grant x reader angst #marc spector angst #marc spector x reader #marc spector x reader angst #jake lockley #jake lockley x reader #jake lockley x reader angst #jake lockley angst

[bitchiswild]

Scooter Fate

Anh Yujin x F! Reader

Warnings: none!

Word Count: 1.8k

A/n: this is bullshit work 🤩🤚

˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖

As the sun began its lazy ascent over the suburban streets, you found yourself reluctantly maneuvering your child's micro-scooter, an embarrassing yet necessary mode of transport. It was drop-off time, the part of the day where single parenting duties converged into a chaotic ballet of managing school bags, lunches, and ensuring your little one made it into class on time.

“Making my way downtown walking fast, faces p-" I was abruptly cut off by an unexpected collision, and to my chagrin, it was none other than my PTA nemesis, Anh Yujin, steering her own micro-scooter. Both our micro-scooters clashed head-on, propelling both of us airborne, only to crash face-first into each other.

“Son of a Bit- Butternut squash,” I blurted out in a mixture of pain and awareness of the surrounding children.

“Shii-take Mushrooms,” Yujin groaned, mirroring my discomfort and also conscious of her surroundings.

“You need to watch where you are going!” our simultaneous accusations echoed, drawing the attention of other parents who swiftly called for an ambulance.

As we both lay there amidst the wreckage of our micro-scooters, wincing from the throbbing pain, mutual animosity stewed between us. Clutching our injured noses, we glared daggers at each other, locked in a momentary standoff. A teacher, sensing the tension, rushed out with tissues to help stem the bleeding, attempting to diffuse the escalating situation between two adults squabbling like children.

The wail of the ambulance pierced the air, marking the arrival of much-needed assistance. The EMTs hurried to assess our condition amidst the debris of shattered scooters.

“Looks like you both broke your noses. We should get you to the hospital for a proper check-up,” one of the EMTs stated matter-of-factly.

Yujin and I exchanged resigned sighs, the annoyance evident on our throbbing faces, but there was little choice but to comply.

"Either of you can sit on the bench with me or take the stretcher," the EMT offered, gesturing towards the seat and the stretcher.

"I call stretcher!" Yujin and I blurted simultaneously, shooting glares at each other. The momentary standoff ended with me being settled on the stretcher, while Yujin reluctantly took the bench beside the EMT. Our silent duel continued even in the confines of the ambulance, a battle of wills even in the choice of seating arrangements.

The bustling Emergency Room was a chorus of activity, a symphony of hurried footsteps and overlapping conversations. Yujin and I found ourselves side by side, occupying the same cramped space of the divided room separated by a thin, flimsy curtain. The discomfort was magnified by our proximity, and it didn't take long for the tension to resurface.

“This can’t be the only available room,” I muttered, my discomfort echoing Yujin’s unspoken sentiments.

A nurse passing by caught wind of our discontent. “I'm sorry, folks. It's a busy day, and this is the only space we have at the moment. We’re doing our best to accommodate everyone,” she explained, her tone apologetic yet final.

With a resigned sigh, we begrudgingly settled into our respective beds, separated only by a curtain that seemed to amplify the uncomfortable intimacy of our shared space.

“We should have separate rooms,” Yujin muttered under her breath, a sentiment I wholeheartedly echoed.

But amidst the sterile hospital smells and the distant hum of medical equipment, we were stranded together, two adversaries thrown into an unexpected proximity. The shared annoyance at the lack of privacy was a fragile common ground, a small bridge spanning the gap between our animosity. Yet, amidst the discomfort, an opportunity for understanding loomed in the air, waiting to be acknowledged or ignored.

The tense wait in the ER stretched on, time seemingly at a standstill. Yujin's exasperation broke the silence. "God, how long until the doctor shows up?"

"I know, right? I had a list of errands today," I sighed in agreement. Yujin turned toward me suddenly. "Remi is your daughter, right?" Her unexpected question caught me off guard.

"Yeah, why?" I replied, perplexed.

"Nothing much, just that Aria and her are friends," Yujin casually remarked, a nonchalant shrug following her words. She quickly averted her gaze.

Before I could probe further, the nurse interrupted, apologizing for the prolonged wait. Frustration crept in as I voiced my concern about picking up my daughter. "Is there any way we can speed this up a bit?" I inquired, feeling the weight of the impending responsibilities.

The nurse promised to do her best, darting out in search of a solution. Yujin’s curious question lingered in the air. "Can't your husband pick up your daughter?" she inquired, her brow raising.

"No, I'm a single mother," I replied matter-of-factly, surprised by the sudden personal turn in the conversation.

Yujin fell silent for a moment before revealing, "I'm in the same boat as you."

Confusion washed over me. "What?" I asked, thrown off guard.

"I'm a single mother too," she confessed, her voice carrying a hint of vulnerability.

"But I've seen you wear a wedding ring at every PTA meeting," I pointed out, puzzled by the contradiction.

Yujin chuckled, a smirk gracing her lips. "I wear it to keep the ladies off of me," she joked, adding a playful wiggle of her eyebrows, a rare moment of levity in the midst of our strained circumstances.

The air between us seemed to shift, the revelation of our shared status as single parents casting a subtle change in the atmosphere. There was a newfound understanding, an unspoken empathy that lingered between Yujin and me.

Yujin's confession hung in the air, a vulnerable admission that cracked the wall of animosity that had long divided us. I glanced at her, sensing a different energy in the space we shared, an unexpected bond forming amidst the sterile hospital environment.

"I had no idea," I admitted quietly, the revelation softening my tone.

Yujin met my gaze, a hint of vulnerability in her eyes. "It's not something I usually bring up," she confessed, a rare glimpse into a side of her I had never seen before.

The tension that had previously defined our interactions began to dissipate, replaced by a tentative understanding. We were two individuals navigating the challenges of single parenthood, both concealing our struggles behind the façade of everyday routines.

As the minutes ticked by, our conversation meandered away from the pain of our injuries. We found ourselves sharing snippets of our lives—stories of bedtime struggles, school projects, and the relentless juggle of work and parenting.

In that confined space of the Emergency Room, amidst the hum of medical equipment and distant conversations, a surprising connection blossomed. The shared experience of single parenthood bridged the gap, weaving a fragile thread of understanding between two individuals who had once been staunch adversaries. And in that moment, the possibility of a different kind of relationship, one built on mutual understanding, flickered to life.

The doctor's arrival was a much-awaited relief, ending the prolonged wait. He swiftly assessed our noses, popping them back into place with a discomforting but necessary procedure. With a couple of words of advice, a prescription for pain relief, and a promise of healing, we were finally given the green light to leave.

"About time," Yujin grumbled, clearly discontent with the wait. Her impatience was palpable as she prepared to depart.

"I couldn't agree more," I sighed, slightly frustrated by the delay but relieved that the ordeal was over.

As we readied ourselves to leave, a brief exchange ensued about ordering an Uber. "I'll order us an Uber," Yujin offered, already reaching for her phone.

"No, it's alright. I can handle it," I insisted, reaching for my own phone.

A mischievous glint sparked in Yujin's eyes as she teased, "How about I order the Uber, and you pay for our date?"

Her unexpected proposition caught me off guard. "Our date?" I echoed, taken aback by her suggestion. The air between us seemed to shift, the awkwardness of the moment lingering as I processed her words.

Yujin's playful grin softened into a genuine smile. "Yeah, why not? We could grab a coffee or something. You know, a gesture of truce after our eventful day."

Her offer held a sense of openness, an invitation to set aside our previous differences and perhaps explore the possibility of a new beginning. The prospect of an unexpected camaraderie, born from a day of mishaps and shared experiences, hung in the air, waiting for a response.

The agreement to grab coffee felt like an unspoken truce, a bridge connecting two previously distant shores. "You know what, I'd love to get coffee sometime," I replied, a genuine smile gracing my lips.

"Fantastic!" Yujin beamed, giving me a playful wink before swiftly ordering the Uber.

As the car navigated through the streets, we arrived at the school just in time. The atmosphere was alive with the chatter and laughter of children streaming out of the gates.

"Mommy!" Remi's excited voice rang out, her arms open wide as she dashed toward me.

"Mama!" Aria echoed, mirroring Remi's enthusiasm as she rushed towards Yujin.

Watching our daughters, identical in their joyous embrace, something shifted within me. The children, oblivious to the complexities of adult interactions, embodied a simple truth—they were friends, just as we had discovered.

I shared a glance with Yujin, our smiles mirroring each other's. There was a mutual understanding in that moment, a silent acknowledgment of the newfound connection between us. As our daughters embraced, it felt like a symbol of a beginning, a chance to build something new and unexpected from the remnants of a turbulent morning.

With a shared nod and a mutual understanding, we both stepped forward, ready to embrace not just our children but the prospect of a budding friendship—one that emerged from an unlikely collision of micro-scooters and broken noses.

“I’ll call you” As Yujin mouthed those words and winked, a rush of anticipation fluttered within me. Her playful gesture left me blushing, my mind swirling with the unexpected turn of events.

With a soft smile, I watched as Yujin led Aria away, the gesture hinting at a promise of future connection. Excitement tinged with curiosity welled up inside me, wondering what our newfound bond might unfold.

Turning my attention to Remi, I caressed her hair gently. "Let's head home, baby," I murmured, intertwining my fingers with hers as we strolled back, our steps lightened by the warmth of the shared embrace.

The day, which had started with a collision and broken noses, had surprisingly unfolded into a budding connection, leaving me curious and hopeful about the unforeseen journey that awaited—a journey that began with a chance encounter between micro-scooters and led to the possibility of an unexpected friendship.

“Mommy what happened to your nose?”

˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖

#bitchiswild #BIW.WRITES #anh yujin #yujin imagines #ahn yujin #ive yujin #ahn yujin x reader #yujin x reader #yujin ive #ive imagines #ive x reader #ive #an yujin

[benk625-blog]

Roughing it

"I bet terrans ain't so tuff without alla that fancy tech they got!" Yazz grumbled before tilting the filthy stein of beer down his gullet.

"Shows what you know" Snork snorted derisively. 

"Bah" Yazz waved "Under that power armor they're helpless." Shouts from the crowd and various handfuls of bar snacks are hurled at him. "Alright, some of them are scrappy. I'll give you that, but they all complain about the slightest inconvenience, right?" Various grunt and nods prompt him to continue. "Can you imagine what those crumbly little pastries would do without matter converters, scanners or teleporters? Curl up a die, that what!" Hearty laughs and cheers greet this point.

"You forget they are deathwolders." Snork sneered.

"We're all deathworlders in this pit ain't we boys?" More cheers. "Where's their hide? Their tusks? Their venom glands? In place of natural advantages they gots all in those clever machines of theirs. And, fair is fair, they have kicked all our collective asses out of civilized space. But if we were dropped in a no tech world with any of us they'd be the first to go."

"Codswallop." Snork snarled. "I’ve seen otherwise first hand. And, fair is fair, I thought much the same way you did in that situation. You sees, I was part of a mixed race mercenary company. Our tranpo got shot down and we made an unscheduled landing in the middle of a forest. Crashed, you might say.

“Half the boys were minced meat in the tin when all was said and done. Ol’ sarge survived out of a sheer need to keep reminding us what a bunch of sorry sacks of slime we all were. He starts barking about disaster kits and all the Terrys start grabbing backpacks and duffle bags.

“‘Snork!’ Snapped the sarge. ‘Where’s your gear?’ ‘Ain’t got none’ I sez ‘Fine. You get the dead men’s weight.’ So I ask my squad mate what the hell dead men’s weight is. The boys look at me and start going through this pile of belongings whose owners were now part of the great scrum in the stars. They tied together a couple of bags and slung them on my shoulders.

“I can’t make snouts or stingers of the stuff we’re all carrying. No high tech to speak of. The most advanced thing in the lot was a bunch of short wave radio transmitters they called tally-wallys or somefink like that. One thing in abundance was multipurpose hunks of metal. 

“Fellas, if you fink their high tech is tops, you should see what their low tech does. The same piece of metal has a cutting edge, sawing edge, prying tip, knuckle duster grip, screw head studs and wrenching slots.

“In a matter of hours they stripped the wreckage. They cobbled together an emergency beacon from bits of broken machinery and bits from the items in their packs. Hull plates became improvised shelters called skinny 2s. The next priority was of course, fire. Terry’s love fire. I can kind of see why now.

“Over the fire they criss-crossed metal struts from the ship. A big pot of water was placed on the grull and the humans started pulling out various paper pouches. After a bit of argument they decided which bags would be opened and put the others away. The contents of the selected bags were dumped into the simmering water and the bags were tossed to the flames.

“In less than an hour I was eating my first stew. Some of the humans had separated themselves from the rest and had tied strips of cloth over their eyes. Squadmates told me this was done to prepare for night watch duty. Others spent their time gathering all the packs into a net and hoisted the whole lot so that it hung suspended over a tree branch to protect it from local fauna.

“After falling asleep to ‘campfire songs’ I was woken up to a chilly pre-dawn glow. Night watch had scared away a pack of nasty-wasties. Two of them pursued the hunters deep into the unfamiliar forest. This led them to a stream of running water 3 kilos away. I had been assigned to join the foraging group.

“We made our way slowly to the water. Each forager carried several metal pots in both mitts. A few of the Terrys had compact books called field guides. Inside were extensive survey notes on edible flora on the moon’s surface. We gathered nuts, fruits and roots on our way to the water. First meal was by the water’s bank and consisted of a variety of food bars stored in the endless array of pockets human clothing has.

“We filled the empty pots with water. I was about to take a deep slurp kneeling in the mud. Sheila boxed my ear and advised me not to drink from the flowing water until it was properly treated. I followed this advice as only a fool would ignore a human’s warning. Using their hand tools, some small trees were fashioned into limbless trunks that were slung across shoulders. Big lunks like me got several water pots hanging from our sticks. The small fry mostly carried the food pots, but they did their best to be fair about who got whats. 

“The return trip took almost as long as the first leg as we were being careful not to spill the water. When we got back to camp, the Terry’s were obsessed with treating the water. I’d say a quarter of their gear was focused on cleaning water. Some had rolls of finely meshed fabric to filter out large particles, this was then filtered a second time through fabric the humans swore could capture microscopic impurities. Then it was boiled and had sanitizing tables dropped into it as it cooled. Some humans even had flavoring packets for the water as they did not like the taste of the sanitizer. 

“And so the days passed, foraging for food, gathering water, doing watch shifts and trying to amuse each other with story and song. After a particularly unpleasant day the Terrys played a strange game. They started telling stories about trips even worse than their current predicament. Each tale topped the previous in misfortune. 

“Loads of these stories referred to times in their childhood. Raising their runts from seed to soldier involves regular periods of survival in deathworld biomes. They call it camping. Eventually the story contest became more and more unbelievable and the Terrys started calling bullshit on obvious lies.

“Shelia, one of the smaller female Terrys, spoke up and a hush fell over the campfire. Her expertise on roughing it was deferred to even by the Sarge. She starts pointing to a line of numbers on her arm: 20, 40, 60, 80, 120, 180 and 365! The numbers indicated commercial survival contests called “Naked and Afraid”. These humans survive deathworld locations with one piece of equipment and no garments to protect them from the elements.

“Yazz, me mate. Lots of humans would be easy pickens without their tech. But you don’t want to meet Sheila like that. Like as not, your hide would become her tent and she’d carve your tusks into tools.

#humans are space orcs #humans are aliens #humans are space oddities #humans are confusing #humans are deathworlders #humans are silly

[lotsofthinkythoughts]

tell me (sweet little) lies

Summary: Astarion thinks over the things he's said to Tav, the lies, and comes to a realization. Maybe they weren't lies at all.

AO3 Link

----

“You can trust me.”

The words echoed around his head, louder and louder as if amplified. That night, the terror of waking from the reverie with Cazador’s voice still in his ears, sat like a knot in his gut. It was the beginning of everything.

It was only a test.

For himself. To see if he’d truly slipped the leash.

The heady warmth of her blood thumping in her veins had sung to him like a siren on the shore, and weak and hungry and desperate for safe harbor he’d followed the call. When Tav opened her eyes, it had been a shock, the kind that rang a death knell over his head, but she’d only stared at him. She hadn't moved, hadn't reached for a stake or blade as he scrabbled backwards like a beast in flight.

And then had let him drink, had protested firmly but gently when it was too much for her, had agreed with his plans of feasting on the blood of their enemies all while offering herself up as a backup.

It was too kind. Too much. No one could give so much and not want recompense. But he simply couldn’t afford to lose the shield she was. Her damned too soft heart led them into too much trouble to simply trust she could be pragmatic.

And while it was damned convenient when she was helping him specifically it made things all the more complicated that she wished to help everyone. Too often she’d give him a disappointed look when he suggested cutting from all this nonsense with the tieflings - it wasn’t as if they mattered. What mattered was making the most of these tadpoles. What mattered was that he would never go back to Cazador. He refused to be owned ever again.

But Tav - Tav had taken him at his word - that she could trust him. More fool her. But she was providing him a service, even if she didn’t realize it.

And a service, well, a service he could earn. A service he could repay.

--

“What do any of us want? Pleasure. Yours. Mine. Our mutual ecstasy.”

But she’d seen - eyes too keen by half, and he’d had to try harder. To push aside the disgust at bartering himself again, and yet, it’d been easier than any time in memory.

“You know we don’t have to do this, don’t you?” She said, fingers in his hair, as he kissed his way down her belly, her skin warm and soft and smelling of flowers from the soap she’d so proudly showed off from pocketing in the wreckage of Waukeen’s Rest earlier.

He looked up at her, chin resting just below her navel. Her eyes were shrouded in shadow, but that couldn’t hide the soft concerned look from him. It made a part of his heart ache, and for a moment resentment sparked in his gut. She’d said yes. She’d agreed. And she was trying to pull away his only method to insure she’d stay on his side now?

Pasting a charming smile onto his mouth, he pushed himself up, hovering over her naked body. “Whatever do you mean, darling?”

“Only what I said. You don’t have to pretend, you know. If you don’t actually want this - it’s fine. I don’t… it’s fine.” She glanced away, eyes trailing over to the side, to the tree he’d pressed her against only moments before.

He frowned. The spark of anger faded into confusion. This wasn’t how it was meant to go, he needed her present, needed her invested, needed her to care. But she was pulling away, going somewhere else, and he needed her to come back.

He lowered himself down to one elbow, raising a hand to cup her face, and turned it so she was facing up at him once more. She blinked twice, her eyes filmed over with tears. “What’s this?” He said, running a thumb under her eye as they spilled over.

“Just… You wouldn’t be the first. To … change their mind.”

That momentary ache surged once more, a strange understanding and kinship that he hadn’t expected. It made his gut twist. He had to keep her on his side, had to keep her close. Tether her to him.

He leaned in, running his nose over the apple of her cheek, smelling the perfume of her skin, and the distant iron and wine flavor of her blood underneath it.

“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, darling. Don’t you worry about that.” He whispered, sucking against her neck without biting.

It was enough to make her gasp softly, tension ebbing out of her as she tilted her neck to the side. “Astarion,” she whispered.

He ghosted a hand along the curve of her hip, fingers trailing along the crease of her thigh, until he reached her centre, dipping a finger inside.

She gasped his name again, her fingers wrapping around his hair, arm slung over his shoulder. Her hips bucked up against his hand, and her blood thumped even louder in her veins. His fangs scraped against her skin and she inhaled raggedly.

“You can - it’s okay. You can bite if you want, ‘starion.” Her fingers carded through her curls, gripping tight when he pulled his mouth from her skin again. She whimpered and clung.

“That’s right, pet. Trust me,” he said, before biting down, drinking that precious nectar, taste blooming over his tongue.

And yet, he couldn’t appreciate it, because a knot of guilt was building in his gut. Trust.

It was the last thing he deserved. But oh he wanted it.

--

The weeks passed, days in the endless twilight of the Underdark, where he was forced to rely on her even more than before. She never complained, never resented his need for blood. And still the knot of guilt grew.

She swore to protect him from Cazador. But he could take no pleasure in it, couldn’t revel in the triumph when she looked at him with those sad earnest eyes.

What was it about her?

There was nothing special about her, she was NOTHING. No one. A girl with a good eye and too much kindness, flitting between all of the weirdos they’d picked up, looking at them all with the same concern, wanting to know what they wanted, needed, how to help.

Even the druid - a foot and a half taller than her and prone to turn into a bear - but she’d invade the elf’s space and try to draw him out into conversation.

And every time Astarion saw it a part of him burned, deeply aware of how easy would it be for any of them to take her away.

The one thing he relied on.

The one person he could trust.

He closed his eyes and shoved the thought down ruthlessly. He didn’t trust her. Couldn’t rely on anything he didn’t trade for. And hells how he’d traded for her goodwill. Never mind that he’d been more present during sex than he’d been in a more than a century's worth of memory - never mind that when he’d enticed her out to the woods after the tieflings’ party she’d spent more time simply curled against him, sharing a bottle of wine, hand curled against his saying they had time.

It had been… nice.

He didn’t know what to do with nice.

Then suddenly, when he’d gotten used to the knot in his gut and the feeling of guilt for taking her desire to be loved and known and using it for his own gain, she tilted the entire plane on its axis.

“He’s his own person.”

The drow had scoffed, irritably waving them all away as if they were no more use to her. And perhaps it was true. She’d gotten Tav’s blood, red rusting on her fingertips where the blood merchant had drawn it. He wanted to take her hand, not to lap away the last remnants that lingered there, just to feel her there, warm and alive.

“Astarion?” She whispered, giving him a queer look as they approached the door to the basement.

“Hmmm?”

“Are you alright?”

“Of course! Why would I be anything else?” He said, panic welling inside him. It was too soon to talk about this. He’d not made sense of it yet.

“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about…” she gestured to the passageway they’d just exited.

“No. Not… No.”

Her eyes turned sad, and he could feel his dead heart seize. No, she wasn’t supposed to be sad. But he couldn’t give her anything but sadness. What did he have?

Bloodlust? Pain? A deft hand with a knife and a needle?

That was why he’d come up with the plan in the first place. He didn’t have anything to offer. Nothing she would want. All he had to do was project someone worth caring about. Someone worth protecting.

And fall into the web she had, sweet and soft and trusting, leaned against him by the fire, keeping him alive with her very blood in this place where nothing lived to sustain him. It was easy to hold her close.

He’d never realized he was slipping down the same slope.

It hammered in his mind as he watched her talk her way out of a fight with the jailor. It was the litany that whispered in his ears as they’d snuck through the prison to free the gnomes and tieflings.

I trust her. I love her.

The thoughts echoed over and over as the water sloshed against the prow of the boat they used to make their escape.

I love her.

But none of it had been real.

If he’d been alive, the knot of guilt would have made him vomit up bile into the lake. Instead, he sat, turning it all over in his mind.

That was where she found him later, sitting on the beach behind the Inn.

“Astarion?”

Her voice was questioning, but undemanding as her toes scraped softly in the sand behind him. He sighed, fingers clinched tight so he didn't reach out as he turned to face her.

“We need to talk.”

#Astarion x Tav #my fic #I'm not entirely sure how the fandom tags because I haven't posted my other things on tumblr lol #Anyway #Have a vampire boy having emotions #Baldur's Gate 3

[yanderes-galore]

The Stick Of Truth concept of Kyle with a human darling that doesn't hate the elves, but is strictly loyal to humans overall not necessarily to Cartman, and won't betray them no matter what whether they reciprocate Kyle's feelings or not? Thank you!

Sure! I had to rewatch Stick of Truth's cutscenes as I finished it YEARS ago :) Takes place in a fantasy AU inspired by SoT. Aged up as usual. Feels rushed but I struggled on what direction to take it :(

Yandere! Elf King! Kyle with Human! Darling

(Stick of Truth Fantasy AU)

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Stalking, Kidnapping, Murder/Raiding, Forced relationship, Blood and death mention, Isolation, Implied brainwashing, Forced marriage mention, Fantasy AU so feel free to imagine him more elf-like.

Kyle is devastated at the fact his darling is a human.

You are from two different factions.

Not only are you on the side of the humans... but he's THE Drow Elf King!

By normal means you'd never like him or his kind.

However, you don't hate his side, according to his scouts.

Despite being loyal to your kind... you don't enjoy the fighting between the two races.

You may not be fond of your leader, The Grand Wizard King Cartman, but you're loyal to your side and people.

Kyle falling for you frustrates him.

He loves that loyalty of yours... yet it's directed towards the wrong side.

Can't you see Cartman is using you?

Blind loyalty will only hurt you.

Kyle's obsession leads him to send scouts to watch you.

He hates that he's unable to watch you himself.

Kyle feels you'll make a great ruler alongside him once he manages to obtain you.

Obtaining reports about you is the best he's going to get for awhile.

The more he hears about you and your personality... the more he sinks into his obsession like quicksand.

The issue is your loyalty to the humans....

His feelings towards you become obsession due to his inability to court you properly.

You see, if you were already part of his group or were an elf yourself, Kyle could simply claim you as his betrothed.

As a human... that isn't easy.

A conclusion that drives the king insane.

There's only one way to obtain your feelings if you won't leave the humans.

Kyle, as a king, knows to plan things out.

The Elf King gathers his forces in preperation for a raid on the human's keep, where you reside.

There is no reasoning with a king like Cartman.

So be it.

Kyle knows this... the humans will only listen to violence.

First, Kyle gives you an out via messenger raven.

If you do not give yourself up to the elves... the human keep will fall. You can come willingly to prevent the violence. That, or, allow the elves to pick you up from the wreckage.

This could go two ways.

You give yourself up for your kind... or you defend them with your life.

Kyle would prefer the first option.

He knows you care for the humans as much as he cares for his elven kin.

You hate fighting and this would give you a choice....

If you do pick option one, Kyle welcomes you to his home.

You'd be able to live in luxury with him and enrich yourself in his culture!

There would be no jail cell for you and you'd share a room with him....

He's loved you since he saw you with the humans in battle, now he can properly court you.

Then there's if you decide to defend the keep.

Kyle is disappointed, although that does not stop him.

Very well... the humans shall die.

Kyle approaches the keep with many troops.

He isn't backing down without you.

Since you refused his request, this attack is technically your fault.

Although it might have happened anyway for one reason or another... you feel like it's your fault.

After all... your home is set aflame, blood coating the walls with corpses piled high.

All because you said you wouldn't go to the elves.

You'll be crying in the middle of it all while the Elf King himself approaches you... lifting up your chin.

"I told you, didn't I? Your loyalty is misplaced... after I kill the wizard myself, we're going home. OUR home."

This route would result in you being thrown into a jail cell in elven territory.

Just until Kyle can retrain your mind through enchantment and spells.

Kyle doesn't mind how he gets you in the end, as long as he has you in his grasp.

You may not be happy with this... but you've forced his hand.

Kyle is a king, a king who's chosen you for marriage.

You may not reciprocate as much as him at first... but over time he's sure you will.

His bard will play the both of you songs, you'll be defended by his loyal warrior...

You'll enjoy it here with him.

Kyle tries to understand your culture and what you like/dislike.

The best way to convince you that he's your perfect partner would be to understand you, right?

Kyle's patient for the most part.

He's trying to cultivate your feelings for him, acting polite and nice towards you.

No matter how much you resist you won't be let out of his kingdom.

You have no home to run back to... they either think you're a traitor or are already dead from a raid.

You have only Kyle and his people to look for comfort in, now.

Surely you'll want to marry him after he casts a small spell, right?

#yandere south park #yandere aged up south park #yandere south park stick of truth #yandere kyle broflovski