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#nothings falling apart but it feels like everything is
meiieiri · 7 hours
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when do we get to see megumi in your new series ^3^
𝐛𝐞𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬 ! [toji fushiguro]
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synopsis: “you really are your mother’s son,” toji grumbles to megumi as the little brat yet again refuses another kiss from him.
pairing: toji fushiguro x f!reader | art: @/amulin67 on twt/ig | hidden inventory: the lost tapes series masterlist
warnings: n/a | a/n: finally welcoming megumi to this series, yay! 💓💞
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“I’m just gonna go nap for a bit. Promise me you’ll wake me up if something happens. But either way, his bottle is over there, just heat it up when he gets hungry and you know where his diapers are—“
You are interrupted by a sweet kiss that still manages to catch you off guard ‘till this day.
“I wasn’t done, you know.” You place your hands on your hips, shooting him a warning glance. “And don’t you go tossing him too high. Need I remind you, our apartment has a literal ceiling fan—“
“—You worry too much,” Toji cuts you off again with another kiss. “Not gonna lie though, seeing you all worked up like that is kinda turning me on.”
“You’re horrible,” you conclude. Honestly, at this point, almost anything and everything you do can be classified as a thirst trap for Toji. You blush when Toji inches closer, his hips pressed against yours, a smirk plastered on his face when he sneakily squeezes your ass causing you to yelp. “Ah! Toji!” you swat his hand away, burying your blushing face in his chest.
Chuckling at you, he plants a soft kiss on your temple as he pulls away. “Alright, mama, go get some rest. I’ll hold down the fort.”
“Thank you.”
No one ever told you that motherhood would be so stressful. Which is why you’re so blessed to have a supportive husband who may have started out a little awkward with caring for your newborn son but gradually became a natural with this whole fatherhood business as time went by. And that’s mostly because when Megumi arrived in this world at half past two in the afternoon of December 22 with nothing more but a small hiccup as he slipped into his papa’s waiting arms, Toji fell in love. And you don’t pretend to not know why. Because whenever you look at Megumi, your heart always just seems to melt at his pudgy rose-colored cheeks and his deep expressive green eyes that fill up with tears regardless if he’s crying or being overcome by a laughing fit whenever you pepper his tiny face with kisses.
Speaking of kisses, today’s latest fiasco is centered exactly on that: kisses.
You see, you have this habit that goes way back to when you and Toji first started dating. Toji remembers it well, you have certain moods when it comes to kisses. Sometimes, you’re the one initiating it which mostly results in Toji becoming an incoherent blushing mess, or most times, Toji gets the party started by slowly kissing up your neck, his breath hot on your earlobe as he presses his hips against yours while you slept fitfully, your hushed dulcet whines ringing in his ear as your lips instinctively find each other. Fun fact: that’s exactly how Megumi came to be.
But there are times too, when you were just not having it and you’d gently nudge Toji’s face away when he tries to kiss you.
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It was a typical afternoon. Toji didn’t have work that day which was a huge relief for him because you’ve been suffering from dizziness and lower back pain all day. And being the helicopter partner and soon-to-be papa that he is, Toji keeps a close eye on you as you nap the afternoon away on the couch. He smiles softly as he sees you instinctively put a protective hand over your belly whenever you’d feel the slightest movements from the baby.
“Shhh, you’re alright,” he’d whisper to you as you slept, combing his fingers through your hair, a permanent worried frown on his face when a whimper falling from your pursed lips as the baby kicks you again. “It’s just the overgrown parasite fidgeting around.”
“Don’t call him that.” You brush his hand away, your eyebrows knitting in discomfort.
Toji chuckles, going to press a kiss to your soft lips only for you to place your entire palm on his face, applying gentle force to pry him away. “I mean, what is he then? Other than this thing that competes for your nutrients? He’s—“
“—Our baby boy.”
“—An overgrown parasite.”
Fuming at his words, you decide to hit back with a quick retort of your own. “Yeah? It really does take one to know one, huh?”
“What a cute comeback but maybe not as cute as you,” Toji smirks, his hand gently removing your smaller one from his face, his lips puckered up as he leans in. Teasingly, you place a hand over your lips, still refusing to indulge him with his much-craved kisses. “Come on, I just want one sloppy one~”
“No!” Your laughter-filled voice comes out muffled against your palm.
“Mm, yes,” Toji teases. “Yes. Come on, baby, just one.”
“You and I both know it’s never just one.”
Of course. Why else would you be in this situation if Toji knew how to spell the words: self and control? Still, it’s not like the two of you were complaining. After all, the bond you and Toji share is an unbreakable one that’s only been strengthened by time and the many trials you’ve survived together. And now, the arrival of the very product of your love is only a hair’s breath away. Toji rests his chin on top of your head, plopping down next to you and spooning you from behind. “Guilty as charged.”
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And unfortunately, it seemed your son had inherited that troublesome quirk of yours and it’s beginning to break Toji’s infuriated heart because whenever he tries to give Megumi a kiss…
“Mmph—“
There it was.
Toji’s eyes shot open, grimacing as Megumi turns his head away, his eyes trained stubbornly on his dog plushie, and his chubby hands pushing his poor papa’s chin away with all the might a six-month-old like him could muster. And to top things off, he must be imagining things because newborns surely couldn’t scowl right? Their tiny little brains couldn’t possibly have enough electrical energy to charge a snow globe much less, learn how to hate certain people’s kisses.
“You little shit—“
Sure enough, the tiny little baby seems gravely unamused, his eyebrows are knitted, the corner of his lips curled into a disappointed frown as if to say: Go kiss someone else, you even bigger shit.
Toji mirrors the unfriendly scowl on his son’s face, noting how Megumi seems to be glaring at him. Oh, okay. The brat ain’t messing around, his eyes twitches but somehow, Toji is also a picture of a proud father. At least the little shit’s got spunk. And he wonders momentarily who he should blame for that.
Definitely not him, that’s for sure.
Toji doesn’t recall the last time he’s ever had the comforts of a peace like this one. Actually, this might just be the first time that Toji knew what that word meant: “peace”. A freedom from disturbance; tranquility, as per the Merriam Webster Dictionary. But Toji has a better definition for peace: you and Megumi.
But…
“I meant what I said to your mother though,” Toji engages in a one-way conversation with his son. He won’t recall any of this, but it didn’t hurt for Toji to be candid about his feelings every now and then especially when it came to this little one that came accidentally into your lives but brightened it up nonetheless. “The two of you would be better off — maybe even happier — with someone else.” He presses his thumb against Megumi’s cheek. “It’s what you two deserve.”
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He’s been gone close to a whole day now and you were probably beginning to worry. Out of all the shitty things Toji has done, this, by far, has to be the shittiest. Standing outside a pachinko den, his back pressed against the wall, and his hand absentmindedly playing with the tokens he just bought. When he left the apartment that day, you knew that could very well be the last time you ever see him. Types like him aren’t keen on the whole picket fence idea of settling down.
“I’m heading out today.”
Your blood runs cold when Toji steps into the kitchen to inform you of his plans. You don’t even bother to look at him, your gaze simply settled on the positive pregnancy test on the table. The right thing to do was to stay, he should have held you in his arms and tell you that everything’s going to be okay not plant seeds of doubt in your mind by taking off and running away like a coward.
But for once, Toji was scared.
He had no business becoming a father when he’s lived in a dysfunctional household for majority of his life. What good would he even impart to his child? His pathetic existence has been a picture of disorder that was only recently resolved when you came into the picture. Well, if he were being completely honest, he still hasn’t figured things out quite as well yet. And as a father, that could be catastrophic for a child that required stability if nothing else.
Frowning, Toji leaves the pachinko den, chucking the tokens in the trash. It was far too early in the day to be hanging around shady places like these anyway. He wanders the streets for a good while, his hands buried in his jacket’s pockets as his mind swirls with thoughts about the all too terrifying future.
A pang of guilt strikes his heart and he wonders what you’re doing now. You must still be in the kitchen, your face buried in your hands as you try to think of something. You were probably assuming he wasn’t coming back. After all, you did say: “I don’t wanna pressure you into staying, Toji. You deserve to live your life the way you want it.”
A life without you? Sounds pretty miserable.
Toji must have been walking on autopilot because for some reason, he unknowingly finds himself in front of a bank. Mizuho Bank, Toji reads the sign, his eyes flicking over to one of the posters plastered on the window about opening a savings account.
He looks at the promotional material, transfixed at the picture of a family of four donning on those typical wide stupid grins in ads, the father is holding a hundred yen bill and is seen dropping it into a piggy bank that was filled with both cash and words like: health insurance, family vacation, utility bills, rent, tax, school, and…happiness.
Toji returns to the apartment at around eight in the evening after making a quick stop at the supermarket and the pharmacy. He finds you asleep on the couch, your cheeks stained with dry tears. He crouches on the edge of the couch, worriedly taking in your appearance. You’ve been crying. “Hey…hey, wake up,” he gently shakes you awake and your tired eyes flutter open. “Got you something.”
He holds out a shopping bag, chock full of fresh produce, and from the pharmacy, some camphor oil to relieve your symptoms and those folate supplements the attending pharmacist kept yapping about.
“You didn’t leave,” you said, bewildered. “I thought you—“
“—You thought wrong,” Toji says firmly. He pulls out something from his back pocket and you stare at him, perplexed.
“A bank passbook?” You open it to see that Toji had just made his first deposit amounting to fifty thousand yen earlier today. “You opened a savings account?”
Toji nods, looking a little proud of himself. “Yeah,” he tries to play it off with a shrug of his shoulders. “Every week, we’ll be depositing fifteen thousand yen in that thing. Ten thousand for your maternity needs, and five for the little brat’s schooling one day.”
Tears spring to your eyes upon realizing that Toji was here to stay. “You mean you’re—?” You are cut off by a warm kiss on your lips, and you place a hand over Toji’s chest, your fingertips gripping the fabric of his shirt as his lips move against yours. He pulls away after a while.
“Gonna spite the hell out of the Zenin clan and send my brat to the most expensive preschool in Tokyo? Yes, I am.”
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Toji sighs, his thumb rubbing across Megumi’s chubby cheek. “But maybe — just maybe — hear me out and don’t you give me another glare.” Megumi’s not gonna remember any of this. After all, memories begin when the brain can fully register speech. But Toji felt the need to say this so, subconsciously, his son will understand just how much he’s done and he’s willing to do for the both of you.
“…Maybe I deserve the two of you too, you know.”
Megumi looks up at his father, curiosity gleaming in his eyes. Toji sticks his tongue out at the little one causing the latter to…hiccup? Nah, Toji was sure that was a giggle.
Smirking, Toji leans down to give his son a kiss, thinking he’s patched things up between them now only for Megumi to curl up again, his feet and hands resisting against Toji, his lip curled in effort as he pushes him away yet again. Conceding, Toji grumbles, rubbing the spot where Megumi roughly pushed him away.
“You really are your mother’s son.”
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thebearer · 1 day
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lip taking the younger babies out for the first time while the older ones are in school, and amelia is just a chubby little baby in the stroller and ronan is just starting to run around and he’s like “this is nothing”
god he's such a dilf. his purpose on earth was to be a dilf and i stand by that.
he had so much practice with his younger siblings. he can change a diaper with his eyes closed, which comes in handy on the long newborn nights with freddie.
it kinda makes you insecure?? a little when you're a new mom and you feel like everything is falling apart and then there he is- just cool, calm, and collected. seems to know exactly what to do bc he's done it before with his siblings, and you feel like you're drowning at some points.
but he's such a good dad. it's the main reason you have so many babies with him. he's so good to them, to you. it's all he's ever wanted really, to have a family of his own.
definitely not one to get overwhelmed easy in the chaos. ronan's running stage is nothing like jude's (his was brutal, he was nearly a leash kid lol). he'll run ahead a little bit, get scared, and turn back to make sure lip or you are still behind him. the first time he does it tho, your heart drops, nearly screeching at him to stop, when lip just shakes you off.
"he'll stop, look," and sure enough, he does, checks to make sure you're behind him, then when you get a bit closer does it again.
baby amelia in her stroller, the hood up to protect her sensitive skin from the sun. he's a fucking vision with a diaper bag and a stroller, pushing it through the neighborhood.
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hypnoneghoul · 17 hours
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Im happy you liked my thought lol
would honestly love to see something about rain overstimulating the hell out of someone, idrc who but I currently have swussy brain rot so swiss would be cool. But like whoever u want to do
mmm im always down to torturing that ghoul
tentacle dick, anal and vaginal sex, double penetration, toys, overstimulation, biting, nipple play, creampie, possessiveness
Swiss doesn’t know if he’s in heaven, hell, or purgatory. All at once, he thinks, but at the same time he feels like he’s being suffocated and crushed by the earth itself.
“Don’t float away, beam,” Rain’s voice brings him back down. “I need you here with me.”
“Uh-uh,” Swiss replies dumbly and squeezes his eyes as another wave of everything hits him. 
The water ghoul is cruel.
Well, just a bit, because he wouldn’t actually do all that to Swiss if he didn't like it, but…he definitely enjoys it way too much. That thought reverberates through Swiss’ head as Rain closes his lips around one of his nipples again and bites.
The multi ghoul wails and Rain chuckles. His tentacle buried in Swiss’ ass alongside a small vibrating plug scrunches up to stretch him just that little bit more and this, in turn, shifts the buzzing dildo shoved deep into Swiss’ cunt. Apart from that he has a vibrator pressed against his clit and the water ghoul’s mouth on his chest.
He is losing his mind.
“R–Rain, princess, fuck, please.” Swiss doesn’t know what he’s begging for. He needs more, but at the same time he needs all of this to just stop because it’s so hot, but it hurts so bad. Neither of them knows how many times Rain made him cum, but they have been at it for hours. To Swiss it feels like days.
Rain’s cum a few times, too, effectively filling Swiss’s cunt all the way up, but it was nothing compared to what he’s been making the multi ghoul go through. He wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Oh, come on, love,” the water ghoul chuckles and he makes the other look down at him with glassy eyes as he licks a stripe up Swiss’ sternum. It’s cold against his burning skin and he shivers.
Rain’s smile softens and a dumb thought crosses the multi ghoul’s mind—that it’s coming to an end—and he’s so tired and blissed out that he does make the mistake of letting his guard down. He whines, his eyelids droop and his tongue lolls out and Rain can’t help but smirk at how he looks like a thoroughly fucked out cheap whore.
He adores it; he adores Swiss.
Still, Rain is not quite finished. He wants to pull one more orgasm from both of them, and then he’ll kiss every inch of Swiss’ sweaty skin with reverence, appreciation and love. But not yet.
He pulls his hips barely an inch back before slamming his cock back in and pressing the toy against Swiss’ dick and the one in his cunt down and deeper inside with his own lower stomach. Rain grunts at the sweet pained noise the multi ghoul lets out and grinds in as far as he’ll go. Swiss feels him in his throat anyway—no one beside Rain can reach those places inside him.
Still, Swiss needs one more thing to fall down that cliff for the -th time. Rain knows it all too well, and so he latches his mouth on the multi ghoul’s neck and bites down hard, piercing layers of skin one by one and holding. It’s as possessive as it gets and Swiss’ high and wrecked moan vibrates through Rain’s mouth as they both cum again.
The water ghoul doesn’t open his mouth and doesn’t pull back for a while—just reaches to turn the toys buried in the other off—but the nature of the bite shifts. Both the hold of his teeth and his arms on Swiss soften and it turns into an affectionate and reassuring embrace.
When Rain’s jaw starts to ache and he does let go—only to start gently lick at the bite—Swiss is fast asleep under him
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zal-eska · 2 days
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Lost in Longing [HuskerDust One Shot]
Summary: Husk struggles with his insecurities and doubts about his relationship with Angel while the latter is away on a shoot.
Also on AO3
〰・♡・〰
Husk had been cleaning the same glass for five minutes straight, staring directly at the glossy reflection of the bar top without flinching or moving. His heart had felt heavy all day, his head feeling like it was full of white noise.
Angel had been gone for 3 days for a shoot, expected to be back at any time that day. Since he had been gone, there had been who-knows-how-many ads coming from the V’s about Angel Dust’s hottest movie so far , with Angel being surrounded with Hell’s most attractive men and women.
Husk had missed him with his entire being. Sleeping in his bed with Fat Nuggets, trying to surround himself with Angel’s scent so he could try and miss him less.
As it got further into the afternoon, Husk began to feel more lost and his actions were starting to show his emotions. He couldn’t bring himself to do much else than to get lost in his thoughts and polish the same glass repeatedly.
Would Angel even want to come back to him after spending the weekend with all the most attractive citizens of hell?
Husk sighed, placed the glass down with a loud clunk against the wood and placed his head in his hands. Desperate to get the thoughts out of his head, he and Angel had only been dating for 3 months and Husk was already falling apart when he wasn’t by his side.
“All right, enough with the dramatics. Talk to me, bartender,” Vaggie’s voice made Husk jump a little, his eyes wide through his fingers as he watched her hop onto one of the barstools.
“It’s nothing, just… a long weekend,” Husk frowned, his eyes trailing to the front doors of the hotel before looking back to Vaggie. “Nothing to worry about.”
“It’s okay to miss him, you know? Having feelings isn’t a crime,” Vaggie smirked as Husk’s wings shook in response to her words. “I bet he’s all sorts of missing you too.”
“Ha, right.” Husk huffed. “Surrounded by Hell’s Hottest all weekend and he’ll be thinking of some ratty bartender.”
He slouched over the counter, resting his elbows on the wood as he gave into the conversation.
“He won’t be having time to miss me, I wouldn’t miss me either.” He shook his head, letting the truth wash over him, his heart heavier than ever.
“You’re kidding, right?” Vaggie’s face was a picture of disbelief. “Husk, Angel is completely obsessed with you. I could guarantee you that the minute he walks through those doors he’ll be all over you.”
“He ain’t obsessed, you’re being dramatic now,” Husk rolled his eyes. “He could have his pick of the litter, why the hell would he come back here?”
“Because you’re here, obviously. You might not see it right now, but he loves you. You’re all he talks about, even when the topic doesn’t even involved you,” Vaggie sighed before reaching out and placing a hand on Husk’s arm in comfort. “I know better than anyone what it’s like to not feel good enough for your partner, that feeling sucks. And I’m sure Angel would be heartbroken to know you think you’re not good enough for him.”
In his right mind, Husk knew she was right. Angel was over-affectionate, with his words and his touch. Husk barely had a minute when his boyfriend's hands weren’t on him in one way or another. Angel was also content to sit at the hotel bar pretty much 24/7 just to spend time with Husk, talking about everything and nothing.
Just a few days ago, before Angel had to leave, he sat at the bar with Husk until the car pulled up to take him away. Claiming he didn’t want to leave and asking if Husk could at least come with him. He had even bugged Alastor about it, asking if Husk could come too. Which of course, Alastor didn’t want one of his souls so close to one of the V’s for that long. Meaning the two would have to brave it apart.
His yearning for Angel had clouded his judgement, he knew Angel would come swooping in any minute now and shower Husk with all the affection they missed out on during the past few days.
“I see that smile, starting to feel better?” Vaggie raised an eyebrow and removed her hand from Husk’s arm.
“Yeah, thanks.” Husk let out a breath, his heart feeling lighter with the memory of his love.
“It’s good to see you’re just as obsessed with him too,” Vaggie chuckled before tilting her head to the polaroid tacked to the bar pole. A photo of Angel’s bright smile while snuggling a cheek into Fat Nuggets.
Husk snorted, smiling fondly at the photo before replying to Vaggie.
“Yeah, he slipped that one there before heading out. You should see the one he snuck into my wallet too,” Husk smirked as Vaggie scrunched up her nose.
“That would be cute if I didn’t know him better,” Vaggie chuckled. “But a good idea to keep in mind when Lucifer asks Charlie to go back to one of those long-ass meetings in Heaven.”
Before Husk could retaliate, an obnoxiously loud car pulled up the front of the hotel making his back straighten as he eagerly tried to peer through one of the hotel windows.
“Well, I guess I’ll leave you two to it.” Vaggie said teasingly, before slipping away from the lobby.
Without even acknowledging her departure, Husk lifted the entryway to the bar to hurry towards the hotel entrance. Ready to meet Angel on his way back into the hotel and have him back by his side.
He swung the door open and watched for a second as Angel typed aggressively on his phone while the cab driver lifted the large pink suitcase from the trunk of the car. His heart soared at the sight, squeezing in his chest as his love stood less than 15 meters away from him, finally.
He moved before he could speak, rushing toward Angel who had yet to notice Husk had come out to meet him.
Husk collided with Angel as he turned around to the noise of footsteps, his face buried in the soft, pink chest fluff and his chest immediately rumbling purrs at the contact. He rubbed his nose against the exposed skin before planting his cheek on his chest and catching a glimpse in the reflection in the hotel’s windows of Angel beaming a smile toward the top of his head.
“Hi baby,” Angel whispered and gently placed his hands onto Husk. One set on his head and the other to caress down his back, while Husk’s hands remained firmly on Angel’s back to keep him as close as possible. "Was just texting you that I'm back."
“Welcome home, sweetheart.” Husk purred, elated to hear the sound of Angel’s voice again.
“Missed me, huh?” Angel teased, hands squeezing Husk’s shoulders in affection.
“Not at all,” Husk quipped back, his actions speaking louder than his words.
Angel hummed and pressed against Husk a little more, the taxi hauling itself away from the scene knocked over his suitcase, not that either of them had noticed yet.
Just as Husk predicted, Angel’s hands were all over him, a hand placed on his back to keep him close, another on his shoulder, another caressing his neck and a fourth cradling the back of his head. Each hand gently placed and pressed the soft affection Husk had missed so, so much.
Just having Angel back in his arms had grounded Husk’s thoughts, more so than his conversation with Vaggie. The validation of Angel’s love was much better when he experienced it in-person, better than any memory.
“Everything okay in there, kitty cat?” Angel teased, flicking at one of Husk’s ears and giggling to himself when it flicked.
“Yeah,” Husk said slowly. “Got in my own head for second today, convinced myself you were never coming back.”
“Silly, silly.” Angel said lightly, all of his arms now squeezing Husk close. “Where else would I go when you’re here?”
Just as Vaggie had said.
“Vaggie said you were obsessed with me,” Husk replied and chuckled to himself as he heard Angel scoffed. He moved back a little to finally look at his face. “She said I was obsessed with you, too.”
“Well, as you should be.” Angel winked and smirked down at him.
Husk rolled his eyes as he leaned up on his toes and tilted his head towards Angel’s. His boyfriend bent down to meet him halfway, their lips meeting softly in a simple kiss.
Angel hummed as he pulled back and giggled when Husk tried to follow his movement but was ultimately too short to reach up for another kiss. He leaned back down and peppered kisses along Husk’s lips and the rest of his face until the cat demon was satisfied with the affection.
“Alright, alright,” Husk finally moved away, taking a step back but keeping one of his hands in Angel’s as he reached down to collect the forgotten luggage on the gravel. “Let’s get you inside.”
“Let’s.” Angel beamed, another hand coming to rest on Husk’s elbow as the held hands. “I have to update you on the studio gossip. You know the two chicks that I told you were kind of a thing but not really?”
“Uh huh,” Husk said absentmindedly as he walked towards the entrance with Angel in tow.
“They got secretly married in Imp City a couple weeks ago,” Angel whispered and smiled as Husk’s eyebrows raised.
“I thought that wasn't allowed by your boss?”
“It ain’t,” Angel squealed. “They were so obvious when we were all filming too. All handsy with each other and smiling, kinda sweet if it weren’t supposed to be an orgy. Speaking of orgies, the conclusion of the film was a total disaster! You would not believe…”
Husk smiled widely to himself as he led his gossiping boyfriend through the hotel, feeling at peace with the world once again with his boyfriend’s almost constant chatter in his ears and his hands on him once again.
〰・♡・〰
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makeitastrength · 1 day
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From the ashes
Chapter 3 sneak peek
Tim is under no illusions that everything is magically okay again. But Lucy is here and she’s proud of him, and that means more to him than he ever could have imagined.
Eventually, Kojo grows tired of being ignored and begins to whine and prod his way in, sticking his head between them and forcing them apart.
“Kojo, stop,” Tim scolds to no avail as the dog wedges his head between their thighs.
Reluctantly, they untangle their limbs and separate. Lucy squats down to greet the canine, who enthusiastically returns the favor by licking away her tears, and then licking her some more for good measure.
“Kojo, buddy, that’s enough,” Tim says, reaching for his collar and pulling him away when he notices Lucy tilting her chin back to escape the onslaught of slobber. “Sorry,” he offers as she stands and wipes at her face with her sleeve. “I think he’s missed you almost as much as I have.”
“It’s okay,” she assures him, then adds with a soft smile, “I’ve missed you too.”
He smiles back, and as a stray tear slips from his left eye, Lucy finds herself fighting the urge to reach for it and interrupt its fall.
“Can I get you anything?” Tim asks.
“Coffee?” she asks.
“You want food too?”
She shakes her head. She’s far too nervous to eat right now, and the thought makes her briefly question if the caffeine is only going to serve to heighten her anxiety.
Tim disappears into the kitchen and Lucy toes off her shoes and sets her purse aside before following him, Kojo at her heels. It’s strange, being back here after so long and in such different circumstances. Last time she was in his kitchen, she was naked beneath his shirt and they’d ended up abandoning their breakfast in favor of each other.
It feels like a lifetime ago.
And yet, it feels so familiar. It feels like she’s coming home.
Tim pours her a mug and then opens the fridge, pulling out her favorite vanilla oat milk creamer and adding some to the dark, steaming liquid. He glances at her as he replaces the lid and finds her watching him curiously.
“What?” He follows her gaze to the carton in his hand and smiles bashfully. “I actually kinda like it.”
“I knew it!” she exclaims. Tim grins and she smiles back, and for a moment it’s as if nothing has changed and they’re right back where they were before that night.
But as silence falls she can feel the shift, the awareness that settles over them both. Tim was right; they can’t go back to how things were before. But perhaps they can chart a new course.
(Read the first two chapters here)
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vivipoery · 2 days
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Baby, hurt my feelings .ᐟ
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tw: for slight mentions of cheating. Like barely.
You knew this was wrong and that you shouldn't be here yet here you are standing outside of Aventurine's door.
You didn't call, you didn't text, you know this isn't polite and that he's a taken man but in a dreamy haze you couldn't stop yourself from making the trip.
A soft knock echoed through his spacious apartment. "Coming!" Called out Aventurine's honeyed voice behind the door.
You can feel your heart starting to race, breath getting heavier just by the thought of seeing the beautiful blonde sigonian.
"Hello, sweetheart. Always a pleasure to see you." A small smile adoring his lips as he greeted you warmly. His slender fingers wrapping around your wrist and pulling you in for a hug.
Heat started spreading to your cheeks which were currently smushed against his warm and slightly exposed chest, the smell of his expensive cologne clouding all your senses. He was wearing a pair of grey pajamas unlike his usual attire which made you blush even harder.
"Sorry for coming without notice, I thought of your offer and I wanted to give you my answer since you asked me to go all in or nothing." You mumbled.
He let you go in order to look at you properly, "And? What's your answer?"
"I wanna bet on everything I have" You spoke softly
"What's your desired prize?"
"To win your heart."Eyes trained to the ground unable to meet his gaze. You felt embarrassed but you couldn't control yourself when it came to Aventurine.
"Look at me, sweetheart."
You reluctantly looked up, your eyes looking right into his violet hued ones. He leaned his head close, his face a few inches away from your own and you can feel his warm breath fanning over your face.
"You realize that I have a girlfriend, right?" Unlike the disgusted expression you were expecting from him, his eyes filled with yearning.
"Please." You whispered with a shaky voice, not trusting yourself to say another word or else you'd fuck up even more. His warm hands came up to cup your rosy cheeks.
"Please what?" The male asked with a teasing tone, pulling your face even closer.
"I-"
"Tsk, use your words. You're a big girl."
"Please, I want you to be mine."
"And what makes you think I want you?" His tone was warm with you unlike the harshness that you imagined you'd be met with.
His actions were contrasting his words when his lips ghosted over yours briefly before he leaned in to kiss you. A bunch of butterflies suddenly erupting in your stomach due to the action.
But how was he supposed to resist you when you looked this good with your hair tied up with pretty pink bows matching the pink pout of your lips. He was a weak man with an even weaker will.
Your arms instantly wrapping around his neck and pulling him down, your heart fluttering as his warm hands wrapped around your waist tightly.
This is batshit crazy but you need to do something to make him fall all in. You need Aventurine to be yours and yours only without anyone else in the picture. As simple as that.
Just as you were about to take things up a notch, an annoying voice boomed in your head causing you to wake up abruptly.
"Hey! Get up we gotta go. You're late to class again." Your roommate's exclaims filling your ears and you contemplated getting up and strangling her for this harsh slap of reality.
Truth is you knew Aventurine is out of your league and will never be yours. What you're unaware of his often you occupy his thoughts, how you're all he thinks about but as long as his girlfriend is in the picture then some things better stay buried away.
© banner by cafekitsune
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//warnings// 16+, nsfw, mdni
//contents// transmasc reader, jason todd, semi-public
//synopsis// Jason can't handle it when you sent him photos, no matter what they are. - wc: 662
//full fic on ao3// (ill tag when i finish it)
Jason absolutely loves it when you send him pictures of yourself. It does not matter what he was doing before, he will drop everything he’s doing to look at what you sent him. 
This time, he’s sitting on a rooftop, waiting for something to happen on his patrol. It seems like a slow night tonight anyway so he pops a squat on a ledge of a random apartment building. He takes off his helmet revealing his secondary mask just so he could breathe better. Not that the smell of Gotham was any better than his own breath. He took out his phone and started scrolling out of boredom before a notification came up. A single photo from you. How enticing. 
He opens the message, jaw almost hitting the floor in awe. It’s just a simple gym pic but holy shit. Your sweating frame in a loose grey tank and black gym shorts, nothing special but to him it’s everything. He could see your scars ever so slightly through the tank, it’s driving him wild that he can’t touch them, touch you. 
His phone buzzes again, another pic. This time it’s more sensuous, a mirror pic with you in the bathroom of the gym change room with only a towel around your waist. Water droplets racing down your bare chest and the glass a little bit steamed. He feels his length start to grow just from your semi-scandalous photos. 
He quickly glances around to see if anyone would be able to see him, quiet night after all. He starts to unbuckle his cargo pants and reach into them to pull out his half hard cock. He started to pump lazily as he searched the pic of you for the little details about you that would push his climax to come sooner. 
He was rudely interrupted by another notification, yet another pic. It seems like you had just gotten home because you were in bed now wearing nothing but a pair of boxers. Jason just couldn’t handle it, the sight was too much. Your perfect body just laying there, begging him to ruin it. Beseeching him to rip the boxers off your supple ass. He lets out a small and breathy moan as his dick jerks in his fist and lets out streams of cum, falling onto his chest and stomach. 
“Fuck… now lookit whacha did.” He remarks, hurriedly trying to wipe the cum off of his kevlar suit, picking it out of the grooves. Even though he’s mad that he’s going to be picking bits of cum out for weeks, he still smiles knowing that all you had to do is send a pic and he's on his knees for you. 
He picked himself up while checking the time. Seeing his shift is over, he hops onto his motorcycle and rushes home to you, hopefully still in those boxers that he so desperately wants to rip off of you himself. 
Walking through the door with immaculate struggle due to the amount of excitement, he calls out for you to make sure you’re home. 
“Upstairs, Jay!” you say from upstairs, obviously. He runs up the stairs, skipping every second step just to get to you sooner. He discards his jacket on the floor near the bedroom door as he shuts it. He turns around to see you still in just the boxers from the picture. You’re on your phone but looking up at him with a smile. “Hey.” you whisper. 
“Hey.” he whispers back, walking to you, removing his gear and just leaving it all on the floor. He was left with only his cargo pants before he leaned down to kiss you. “You have no idea what you did to me, sending those pics, pretty boy.” 
“Why don’t you tell me?” 
“You really wanna know how I came all over my suit on a rooftop, mid-Gotham?” 
“I had no idea.” you say with a smirk, knowing exactly just what you do to him.
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writing-whump · 3 days
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forgive my 200 ask at the minute, but my brain is on fire. I just love your babies, so much. Alright, so would u ever be up for writing a moment where Isaiah actually has to use his shadow on another wolf, where all his soft skills in the world fail him (the other pack/wolf won't hear him) and he's forced to let the Executioner out in front of Matt and Sel?
And not even in a bad lighting (ofc Sel will be spooked regardless), but really just a small reminder this man IS super capable and badass, even if his shadow is lowkey falling apart.
asking for a friend 🙈🙈🙈
I need you too much
Seline always felt like she had to beat the world back with a stick sometimes, to conserve her energy levels.
Everything tried to syphon her. Every class, every homework, every person, everything needed for work. And that was fine, that's why she made sure to enjoy all those things as much as she could. Careful selection.
But she still needed those precious days where she could just stay in her room and do nothing. Just her thoughts, her books, some writing done, music and daydreams. No obligations, no socialising or putting herself together.
She needed to just be with herself to recharge her batteries.
And she was careful about that time even with Isaiah and Matt. While she made an effort to be present with them, whole-heartedly and completely, to make traditions, to spend time together, there were moments that were untouchable and only hers.
But now the most terrible feeling came upon her.
She wanted to spend the entire weekend with Isaiah.
She couldn't sleep that night, thinking of how much she didn't want to go back to the house or to her room or to her books, if she could just be with him. One more day. An extra day of the week.
It wasn't a thing she felt like she could say out loud without sounding insane. Every girl in her shoes would logically want to spend all her time with her boyfriend.
But Isaiah wasn't just in the category "interesting" or "not exhausting". He was category "share every thought with", "read him the best passage on the page" and "childish kind of delight" at just seeing his face.
This was terrible. Out of control terrible, horrible.
So instead of enjoying the evening and hurrying home from class, she sat down at the park next to uni and watched the trams. Sun came and went, twilight came and went and she couldn't make herself move. Afraid to go home; afraid to completely lose herself in that irresistible desire to see that man.
Oh, this was so so bad.
Seline refused to give someone that much power over her. To hurt her, to control her. She wasn't going to depend on anyone and even less on a guy. Her thoughts were supposed to be enough to make her happy - she was enough to make herself happy.
The streets were clearing out. Vienna wasn't particularly calm at night, but the vicinity of the main university building sure missed its students in these hours.
Seline almost didn't notice, except the trams weren't coming that often and the wind was starting to howl emptily.
She should go home. This wasn't particularly secure anymore. Not that she needed anyone to feel secure. No way.
"Ah, look at that. Isn't that Seline?"
Seline blinked, getting herself back in the present.
The girl had long violet hair, a coat with spiraly patterns and long fale earrings shimmering in the steetlamp light. The other one she held around the waist had long brown curly hair and dark eyes and was considerably smaller in size.
"Hi, Violet," Seline muttered. "Bye, Violet."
Violet gave her a sly smile. "Oh you are not getting rid of me that easily. You know Seline, Cami? That's the witch that used to be in our coven."
Seline sighed, leaning back on the bench. Just the kind of theatrics she needed.
"You know why she got kicked out?"
"I left," Seline corrected, trying to not to let herself get baited into this. Violet was not worth the time to argue with.
"She believes," Violet continued, voice rising, "into the human system of work. Wants to waste her valuable magic and time for salary and live under explotative capitalist conditions. Some serious brainwashing, isn't it?"
Seline rolled her eyes. "It's called having interests outside of magic. And wanting to contribute something to the society."
"We are contributing. Our magic. A proper witch should get the freedom to develop her talents and arts."
"No, you just want somebody to take care of you just because you were born," Seline said, voice acidic. "If you can't find a wolf who would do so just cause you look pretty, then the state should do it for you. Cause food and electricity simply fall out of the sky and witches are too cool to work like normal mortals."
Violet frowned. "You just aren't skilled with magic so you look for something pathetic to fill the void."
"Yes, indeed, lot of pathetic people work at the university."
"I am at the university too."
"That's it, Violet. You are, you don't work. You just put stickers with communist ideas onto bathrooms and tables and feel important. Giving speeches about how everything should belong to everybody, because you shouldn't have to create anything of value, since you have a talent for magic."
"That's-"
"Magic," Seline interrupted, "that doesn't work on humans or for humans. It comes from wolf shadows and works only on them. Tell me Violet, what exactly is your problem? Can't find a job to your liking? Or can't be bothered to put in any effort or thought into one?"
"You should learn how to shut up," Violet was downright hissing. "So it doesn't cost you that precious job of yours."
"Are you pulling the strings now, Vi? If you at least read the crap you put on those stickers or actually went 50 kilometers to the east to see what your ideas looked like in practice in the Sowjet Union-"
"That you came from to steal our jobs and places at universities," Cami said, looking terribly proud of herself for pitching in. "Little Slavic refugee and a thief."
This is the EU, you idiot. I have every right to he here. Seline stood up, making a mocking motion as if she was tipping her head to the two witches, heart racing. "Your intelligence knows no bounds. Have a good evening, bitches."
She made to move behind the bench and to the other side of the park, when a tall figure suddenly appeared out of the shadow, blocking her way.
"If only you stayed a little bit longer, Sel," Violet said in the sweetest fake voice she could manage. "You might have had found a wolf to protect you."
...
"Isaiah, you are overreacting."
Isaiah didn't slow down at Matthew's protests as he hurried down the street, into the direction of Seline's last class.
"She should have been home hours ago."
"Yeah, maybe she found a bookshop on the way and forgot about time again."
"She is not answering me."
"Do I have to remind you of the speech she gave us both about being constantly available? She knows how to turn it off and all that crap." Despite his reassurances, Matthew jogged behind Isaiah at the same pace.
The streets were basically empty at 11 on Monday. Isaiah let his shadow up to have more senses to search with. His shadow eagerly consumed the darkness and the streets around, melting into it.
It sensed another intense eagerness just ahead of them.
Isaiah sped up into an outright run, Matthew close on his heels.
He didn't catch Seline's scent until he was almost there. They stood upwind with buildings all around, it was hard to track.
But it was Seline alright. Circled by a bunch of wolves who were throwing her around like a volleyball. Frozen solid in their grip, tyring not to show a reaction. Sign of fear or pleading would just rile a wolf up.
Wolves technically shouldn't harm witches. Witches had a powerful calming effect on them, making it very hard to be hostile to them.
But there were other witches present. Two altogether, standing a bit to the side but with good view. A wolf head over heels for a witch would be capable of many impossibilities.
The girls noticed them first, the one with blue-violet hair immediately positioning herself between them.
Matthew stopped at the sight, unsure. Wolf should not harm a witch. Not only was it physically uncomfortable, felt entirely wrong for a wolf to do so, it was strictly forbidden and looked-down upon.
A wolf should not touch a witch without her permission. Touch ment connection and connection meant magic.
Isaiah had not decided what to say yet, but he did not feel any qualms. "You let her go right now," he said quietly. "This is the only warning you will get."
The violet witch smiled widely as the wolves behind her looked up, sneering.
"I don't think you are paying attention, pal," one of the wolves said. "It's six of us. And it's only two of you. You really want to fight us?"
Might makes right kind of idiots? Fine with him.
Isaiah noticed Matthew's hesistant look, not seeing a way how to get to the wolves around the two witches he wasn't supposed to touch.
Isaiah didn't wait for him. His shadow was up and about in the darkness, covering the ground underneath them. One quick twist and they were all falling down, feet flying up as if he pulled the carpet underneath them.
The girl's smile turned into a surprised grimace.
Before anyone could move Isaiah used his shadow to sweep over the wolves, rolling their shadows one by one with smoothness of years of experience.
He stepped closer, pushing the two witches out of the way as they yelped, looking down. His shadow didn't need a straight path. And he had enough control not to touch Seline in the midst of them.
She was standing upright in the middle with a stony expression. But her arms were wrapped around her, her hair was sticking in all directions. He scanned her for any signs of blood or injury.
Not finding any didn't really quell his anger.
"I thought you wanted to fight," Isaiah said, turning back to the wolves crawling and moaning on the ground. Three were shivering without their shadows, one was curled up holding his head, one was even passed out. Rolling a shadow was never pleasant.
The last one, the one who spoke, was crawling away. Isaiah quickly closed the distance between them, kicking him into the stomach. And then in the face for good measure.
He took him by the collar, easily lifting him with one hand. "You come after my girl again, I'll rip your arms off, you hear?"
The wolf shook violently than nodded.
Isaiah turned around, his shadow riding around in satisfaction, brimming with happy aggressive energy. It wanted to make good on his threat right away, wanted to rip them to little pieces along with the witches.
Isaiah looked back at Seline and down, suddenly self-conscious of how much of those desires she could read from his expression.
Seline said nothing, retrieving her bag from the ground.
She did not take his hand, when he offered it.
...
Isaiah was sure he had fucked things up spectacularly. He went all scary in front of Seline, did not even wait for Matt to back him up. He just rushed into it with killing intent.
The way Seline got scared from Matthew's shadow, how she cried and shut him down for weeks to come was fresh in his mind, making his chest tight and dread pool in his stomach.
Seline said nothing on their ride back home and didn't look at any of them. He wasn't sure how to interpret it, she was very hard to read, when she didn't want some kind of emotion to show. But it must have been fear. What else could it have been?
Fear from what just happened and from him and from being involved with wolves in general...
When they arrived at their apartment, she went upstairs immediately. Clear signal she wanted space.
"This is going to be a problem," Isaiah said quietly, staring at the staircase.
Matthew bumped into his shoulder. "What do you mean?"
"Well, look at her! She is terrified of me!" He turned around to lean his forehead against the wall.
There was angry stomping on the floor above them. Then a slam of the door.
"Yeah, I don't think fear is what we are talking about," Matthew said dryly. "She looks pissed to me."
"Huh?" Isaiah said intelligently. His brain was short-circuiting at how he just went all Executioner in front of his girlfriend.
"Yep. Stop making guesses and go talk it out. No point worrying about something that might not be true."
"But- Did you not see-"
"I saw fine. It was plenty cool, if you ask me," Matthew said with a smirk. "Shoo."
Isaiah shook his head in exasperation, but went up.
Seline was in the process of changing and getting ready for bed. She slammed the cupboards violently behind her, the doors creaking painfully as she threw them open and then shut again.
Isaiah slipped inside her room, a little stunned by the display. He couldn't remember if he had seen Seline like this before.
"Ehhh...are you okay?"
She gave him an indignant look. "I'm fine! Perfectly fine!"
Isaiah watched her as she glared at her discarded jeans and shirt on the bed, in her PJs already, suddenly grateful Seline's affinity was water and not fire.
"Why didn't- you could have called me, you know?" He said tentatively into the silence. "I would have come sooner."
"I didn't need you to come."
Isaiah's eyebrows knitted together. "Well, then you could have at least called Matthew or messaged us where you were, so if something happened, we would know to look for you."
"I don't need-"
"You message your mother when you go to school and arrive home, why the hell can't you do the same for your pack?" Isaiah interjected, voice jumping up. "If you don't want to see me, fine, if you- at least let us know you are okay. Not to mention you weren't-"
"If those cows didn't bring their wolves, I would have been alright," she said, turning back to him, her chin up.
"I don't doubt that, but they had wolves around and it's my duty as your packmember and packleader-" Why was he defending his desire to protect her again?
He knew it was the wrong thing to say by the furious look in her eyes.
"Look," he said, pressing the bridge of his nose. "Wolves are dangerous, the city is dangerous and I just want to keep you safe. You can at least make sure of that, right? If you need a break from-from me or if you are disgusted or scared of me right now- there are still ways how to-"
"What are you going on about?"
"You didn't answer my messages or my calls all day," Isaiah said. "I thought something was wrong or that you were upset with me."
Seline watched him silently as if that wasn't all.
"And...right now...That must have been scary, right? I don't blame you for-"
She gave a dramatic sight. "I was upset. But not with you."
Seline approached. Isaiah suppressed the urge to back away, keeping the space he had drawn around her in his head untouched.
Seline's eyes widened at something, then she took the last three steps between them to stand right in front of him. "I'm not scared of you. That was actually...really nice of you. To defend me like that."
"Yeah?" He rubbed the back of his head self-consciously. "I don't want you to see-"
"I have never been scared of you. Wolves, sometimes, and yelling maybe, but not you. You would never do anything to hurt me." She took his face between her hands to make him look at her.
Isaiah let out a relieved breath, putting his hands over hers on his cheeks. "Okay. That's good, I'm glad. So what were you...upset about before?"
He watched her face intently, and his heart jumped into his throat where there were suddenly tears spilling over her cheeks.
"Sel?"
"I don't-" she broke off with a shuddering breath, ducking her head. "I don't want to need you this much."
"I'm sorry - what?"
"It's like I depend on you to protect me, and-and I'm doing it all wrong. I'm not supposed to tell you stuff like this, but I wanted- I want to be with you too much." She let go of his face, hugging herself.
Isaiah had the distinct feeling he was missing something. "And that's bad how?"
She looked up at him, her eyes even bluer from the tears.
"Isn't that kind of why we are together?"
Her blond eyebrows met in the center of her forehead in annoyance. "Don't you understand how bad this is? You...you are better than my solitude."
Isaiah frowned until he remembered the quote she meant. It was one of the quote books that they read in the evening to each other, sometimes to discuss them. My alone feels so good, I'll only have you if you're sweeter than my solitude.
His heart was fluttering in his chest at the proclamation as he understood what this meant.
Not needing more reassurance than that, he scooped her up from her feet, hugging her to him. No way he was allowing his girlfriend to feel so sad about caring about him so much.
He dragged her into the bed, arms wrapped snuggly around her, and she reciprocated, hugging him just as tight around the waist. Like she couldn't get close enough.
„Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within," he said into her ear, nose in her hair. "You know that one? Cause that's how it feels to be with you."
Her breath hitched against him, her face buried in his chest he wondered how she could even breathe. But he couldn't make himself let her go.
He wondered how he ever could again.
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magicstormfrostfire · 5 months
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lonelydncers · 5 months
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titan-god-helios · 7 months
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fuck, audhd burnout is a bitch.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 7 months
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...
#ever sit like a corpse in your own body?#im doing a job i wasnt designed for. theres this funny thing we do in academia where we beg for money. write in consise phrasing why we#deserve funding. what it is about our project what it is about our personhood that makes us deserving. what we're doing in our present to#give back and ensure a better future. and i can pull together a description of a nervous kid who couldn't read but loved to learn anyway.#who didnt kno how to hold proper a conversation until college and so tried and got better at ppl. who wouldnt let a language problem get in#the way of information gain. who cares about making complicated info visually digestible. and that's a nice story. but it falls apart when#projected into the future. what r u doing for the future? im just trying to continue existing#dont u want to help other ppl like u? sure but i dont have anything nice to say to them. does it ever get easier? no. it probably never will#ur brain was not built for reading. sometimes things r just terrible and u have to accept that. develop a crippling mental disorder or do#something where u dont have to read. see. not helpful. bad attitude. im just too full of blood and broken glass. all my achievements r#stained red and it hurts to look at them. to get myself to function i have to squeeze so tight i can feel the strain in my head. and even#then its not enough. do u kno what its like to spend ur whole life building something only to watch it burn to ashes in front of u? just a#broken machine rotting away underground where no one will see it. but dont let things fester. speak up if somethings wrong. and say what?#lmao i wrote this last night and then today when my advisor was like: hows it going? do u feel like u have enough time to get everything#done? and i had the gall to be like *voice strained high to prevent crying* its alright i think ive got enough time. bc yea technically i#think there r enough hours in yhr day that if i really tried i could get it all done. but that doesn't count the time i spend laying with#thr absolute desolation of my mind. so no. there isnt enough time bc im not doing well. but there's nothing he can do abt it so ya kno#whats the point in talking abt it except to say ya sorry im such a wretched miserable person. i dont kno how to fix it. my enthusiasm is#hidden under layer upon layer of pain. i burnef out before even getting here and im only making it worse#but whatever ill see my therapist Tuesday#unrelated
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my brain is so full of stress it might explode. but ill do my best to keep putting out my best and stay kind to myself and others. but man, is it hard
#i wish i had something for myself rn#but i come home so exhausted i cant even focus on art#everything has been burning me so thin#i keep talking down my own art now. i keep refunding clients. i honestly want to give up on everything#people tell me i do a good job but i dont see it. i dont see an artist whos worth anything right now.#i dont know if thats a phrase#i have a early morning shift tomorrow and i cant fall asleep#i want to just rest but im so restless#i dont want to put pressure on anyone besides myself bc i feel like a huge burden#if i do so#everyone else should be having a good time#so i feel like a bummer to take up their emotional space and time#i appreciate the kindness people have shown me recently#i know i work hard. but im still so broken over everything#i just havent felt like an artist since it happend#he left a bigger scar on my ego than i thought it would#and every time i voice it i feel someone is out to end me for it#but at the same time i feel completely unnoticed and unheard#i dont expect anyone to see me as me#i just feel this lump in my throat now. this weight on my hand#they say kind things but im so hurt inside i dont see it as truth right now. i dont see anything worth admiring#they say such sweet things and i want to accept them so bad because my heart needs it#but i cant help but feel the words die as they reach my ears. im just too hurt i cant see it#i cant see the truth in my work all i see is someone else's desire in their commission#as long as they are happy. as long as they are satisfied#thats all that matters#i dont feel important enough to be apart of the process anymore#i dont feel worthy as a person or artist#i just feel less than nothing and that no one will care
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pepprs · 8 months
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discovered miah_pie on t*ktok (<- i don’t have one btw i just stumbled upon her bc someone i follow on ig talked abt her) and her videos make me want to cry so bad. 24 year old dependent moment
#purrs#i went to a clothing store today to try to get new work shoes and pants bc the one pair i have of each literally have holes in them and are#falling the fuck apart on my body and it was a HORRIBLE experience largely bc i think everybody in town was out shopping for back to school#so it was super crowded and there were lots of screaming kids and it was extremely stressful + my dad got into a mini car accident while i w#was in the store (he was / is completely fine thankfully but the car is not which is so awesome 😍😍😍😍😍) and i was just so stressed and#overstimulated but also like… nothing fits me bc im so short lol. but anyway it was so horrible i was on the verge of starting to cry in the#store and then i came home empty handed and my mom got super pissed at me for… needing to go to the store / being the reason we were out lol#and then finding miah pie and her videos are all about making trips to the store SO much fun and buying little treats and saying yessir and#OHHHHHH MYYYYY and just finding the joy in smth that can be so stressful and unpleasant… it makes me want to cry happy and sad tears at the#same time like i want that soooo bad and i can’t do it fully yet but i want it. need it. fuck my stupid baka life#anyways im gonna start saying the stuff she says just to make myself feel better even when im not at a store. yessir! OHHHHHH MYYYYYY.#acquired. don’t mind if i diddly dooooo!#also btw i am not a dependent except for the ways i am a dependent. hope that helps 🫶🏻#the problem is really that i don’t have a car or a license and also that my mom throws a fit every time i need / want to get driving#practice bc it’s never a good time so. lol 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 me doing drivers ed this summer was a fucking joke i forget literally everything i#learned and have only been behind the wheel 3 times and none of them have actually counted bc im just developing basic motor skills#(literally). fmlllll im never getting out of here who am i kidding 🤪#delete later
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emmavakarian-theirin · 10 months
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if anyone's got any good thoughts they can spare, i could really use them
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bobson-dugnut · 3 months
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I’ve decided i am going to do as much as I can, as well as I can, for as long as I can
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