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allronix · 3 years

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Carth and Force Sensitivity (crossposted from Reddit r/kotor)

This is for @k-she-rambles:

Okay, so while we're shooting the bantha crap over on KOTOR fan theories, u/134340Goat mentioned my all time favorite "Have you been chewing spice?!" fan theory when it comes to KOTOR: Is Carth Force Sensitive?

So this one starts with a story. I mentioned my brother in law, who is pretty much Keeper of the Jedi Archives. Seriously, he's an English teacher and my sister is a librarian. They met at a sci fi convention and their first date was Phantom Menace. We're taking not just geeks, but geeks who can throw the damn bookshelf at you. Brother in law bought KOTOR on the day it launched and turned it into a week long binge watch at his house. And because brother in law is that kind of geek, he's translating the characters into the West End D6 system. I'm watching him do a playthrough, and he's got Canderous and Zaalbar at Ajunta Pal's tomb.

Allronix: Huh. That's odd. Why aren't commenting on anything when Ajunta is speaking?

Bro in law: Oh. They can't even see Ajunta. You have to be Force Sensitive to see a Force Ghost The stronger your Sensitivity, the better you can see it.

Allronix: Really? Then how come Carth can see it?

Bro in law (gets the "holy shit, I gotta confirm this" look): Really?! He just sees something out the corner of his eye or something?

Allronix: No, he sees Ajunta just fine. Understands what the dude's saying too.

Bro in law instantly rolls back to his last save, swaps Zaalbar for Carth, and sees the bit in question.

Bro in law: Oh. Dear. (Goes over to make some quick scribbles on Carth's character sheet)

Okay, so maybe that was a lore fail. I didn't really think about it too much until I hit that False Level Up glitch and ran around with Carth and Mission as Sentinels. Now, while I couldn't really see Mission as a Sensitive, that little bit with my bro in law nagged at me. And became a "once you see it you can't unsee it." Apologies to TV Tropes, where some of these were my additions to the Wild Mass Guess entry on this topic.

Any one of these on its own is pretty easy to blow off. After all, man is career military, and knows All this Shit is Weird. I also like to think of Sensitivity as a spectrum and not a switch. If all life is connected by the Force, then all life would be Sensitive to some degree or another. It’s just a matter of to what degree. It’s only as the list gets longer and longer does the case start looking damning...

What are the odds of surviving that attack on the Endar Spire, getting to the escape pods, sharing the last escape pod with the mindwiped Sith Lord, piloting through the chaos, landing in what passes for the "good" part of town, remaining uninjured, pulling the badly injured mindwiped Sith Lord from the wreck, evading Sith detection while all this is going on, and just happening to find a dump of an apartment where the landlord's not asking questions? That is one amazing string of coincidences and good luck. Get that many in Star Wars, and it's definitely The Force sticking its nose in things.

Piloting the escape pod to land in the Upper City, piloting the Hawk through the Sith Blockade of Taris, the random Sith patrols, the escape from the Leviathan, and the fleet around Lehon along with the crash landing that left the ship easily repairable. Now, compare to Atton who we know to be an excellent pilot and drawing on The Force who still manages to crash the ship at least three times.

He's a scary good judge of character if you're interacting with other NPCs. If you watch him with other NPC characters, he's got a pretty good compass as to which characters are being helpful and which ones are full of shit. The only one he calls incorrectly is Rukil, who is probably also an untrained Sensitive (the age, the "marked" comments) and half senile, which is probably throwing him.

Related to that, his distrust and wariness about something not adding up with the PC, the Jedi Council feeding the party a line of bull, that things just aren't adding up. And on all of it? Dead on. He's 100% right about the Player Character, he just expected something a little less crazy than "that's Darth freaking Revan."

If you play Female Revan, then Carth's the one who gets fried in the torture cages on the Leviathan. Saul comments how strange it is that Carth takes so much punishment and still remains conscious. Now, this is a low level thing, but in lore, Force Sensitives have drawn on it to keep them alive or conscious under duress. Explicitly, the first sign we got that Leia was a Sensitive when she withstood the Imperial torture droid.

Another of his scary ass judge of character feats? In the comics, Zayne (who is on the run from the Jedi, who framed him for the murder of his classmates) has a vision that Mandalorians are coming for Serroco. Saul? Laughs it off, throws Zayne in the brig. Zayne's own friends don't even believe him. Carth gets one of those creepy hunches and starts calling in "duck and cover" sirens as far as he can broadcast, which sends seventeen cities and millions of people heading for shelter. It saves their lives and Carth is called a hero for it. Armed with another hunch, he disobeys Saul (remember this is before Saul nukes Telos) and lets Zayne "escape" from custody. Mind you, not even the Jedi or his party members believed Zayne. Carth did.

Carth makes a lot of creepy weird offhand predictions about the future. He says he knows on some level he'll be there when Saul dies. That certainly pans out. He makes an offhand prediction that the Jedi have set the party up to take a fall. Right again. He tells a female PC that she'll have to make a choice soon, one she can't walk away from. And then we get the temple top. He even blurts out that "I sensed you would have to make a choice soon, and that was it*, I can feel it!"* If you specify a LS Female Revan, his recording for T3-M4 says he's had a hunch Revan would leave without warning. Again, spot on.

Specify a LS male Revan, and Carth will remark to Bastila that seeing the Exile reminds him "there are worse things to lose." The only other people who can see just how screwed up the Exile is are the Jedi Masters, Chodo Habat, and the Force Sensitive party members.

Specify a LS female Revan, and Carth will insist that he would know if Revan were dead (again, scary ass intuition) and that there's an "emptiness" where she used to be. Now, remember one of the things about a broken Force Bond? It would simply be "empty, a wound."

You know how your party members in KOTOR 2 feel upset or even horrified as they realize they feel compelled to protect Exile and can't being themselves to leave, even when said actions are kicking puppies? And how they swing wildly from being crazy, almost stalker level possessive of them to being scared out of their wits and clamming up when you try to pry anything out of them? And the more potent (and untapped) their Force Sensitivity, the more they get hammered with the effect? (Mira and Atton in particular) Yeah. Now, Carth's "I don't wanna talk" looks a bit different, doesn't it? It could also account for that romance arc, especially if you roll a DSF Revan and go for that "everyone dies" ending.

Again, Ajunta Pal. Seeing a Force Ghost? Yeah. Some degree of Sensitivity needed. Understanding what he's saying? Yeah. Takes a bit more than that. And Carth makes a weirdly insightful comment about the Dark Side on top of it.

Notice that this a wall o text argument already, and I'm now just getting to the "Yeah, his kid is able to throw around mid-level Dark Side powers and packing a red lightsaber." Given the jawline and the muleheaded attitude, no way Morgana was fooling around with the pizza delivery boy. That's definitely Carth's kid, and that's definitely Force Sensitivity. Now, while it can skip a generation (see Theron Shan), it tends to run pretty heavy in families.

Lastly? Gee. He comes from a planet settled by and heavily populated by descendants of Force Sensitives who failed their training. I'm also willing to bet some bastard children of Jedi get passed off as "foundlings" and "orphans" and dumped there, too. Jedi are forbidden attachments, but not sworn to celibacy, so...yeah, bastard kids are gonna happen. There's probably a Jedi or two in that family tree. It's circumstantial evidence at best, but it still supports the case.

Now, any arguments I missed? Counterarguments?

And the million credit question: If there's a character who gets to break this news to poor Flyboy, who do you think would actually take that on? How do you think Carth would take that kind of news? And what, if anything, would come of it?

I kinda figure Jolee might be the only one nuts enough to poke that with a stick...I also kinda figure "Sentinel" would fit best. Consular? Hell no. He hired Mical for that. Guardian works with the feats, but the whole "ferreting out deceit and injustice?" Yeah. That's Carth.

#KOTOR #Carth #fandom meta #Carth Onasi

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nishisun · 3 years

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best part ☁️/ 002. first breakfast together

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Kuroo places his phone on the side next to him and stretches his arms a bit, noticing that your head is placed softly in his chest. She’d kill me if she woke up like this right now.

He can’t help but stare at your sleeping figure, admiring the way you’re sleeping so peacefully. His arms are placed awkwardly by his sides on the bed, scared that you may wake up if he places any arms around you. He doesn’t want this moment to end.

He knows he’s the reason why you two aren’t together and yes, he does regret it. He regrets it so much. He’s never one to do something so impulsive but with the way things ended for the both of you, he’s just grateful you’re even talking to him again. Lord knows he wouldn’t be as kind as you have been with him.

He wants this moment to last forever.

But, the truth hurts, and so does reality because when he feels you shift, his heart nearly stops.

Not only do you shift, you’re awake now, barely awake until you look around and realize you were sleeping on Kuroo. You look up at him and he already knows he’s a dead man.

You’re glaring at him now, he’s trying to muster up the courage to even explain himself because your death stare has that much of an effect.

“You pervert!” you nearly screech.

“I woke up and this is how you were! I didn’t want to bother you. I know you had a long day yesterday!” Kuroo raises both of his hands up in defensive, and you roll your eyes at him before rolling to the side of the bed so you were finally off of him and laying down facing his opposite direction.

“Okay.”

“Okay? You’re not mad..?”

“What time is it?”you ask, still facing the opposite direction. He glances at you before reaching for his phone to check the time.

“It’s 7:04”

“Perfect. I need to make Takeru breakfast before he wakes up.”

“Why does he eat so early?”

“Kuroo, what does that even mean?”

“Smells good in here,” Kuroo walks in the kitchen, a towel draped on his shoulders with slightly damp hair caused from sweat. He walks over and hugs you behind the waist, it would’ve been a romantic gesture if you were actually together, but you’re not, and you nearly screech at him.

“My God, go take a bath.” you mutter, he doesn’t ignore the way your cheeks are turning into a bright shade of pink. “Where’d you go anyway?”

“I see you’re still acting cold towards me.” You glare at him, and he raises his hands up before laughing. “I’m kidding, I went for a run.” He shrugs, grabbing a piece a banana. “You live in a pretty nice neighborhood, so that’s good for the kid.”

“What do you even know about kids?” you scoff.

“To be honest, absolutely nothing. I know they need food and shelter. And clothing too, I guess.” he looks over at you and notices you’re scrambling eggs and he admires how you look so concentrated even when doing the simplest task. “But I wanna learn more about kids, more about Takeru. He seems like a nice kid.”

“Oh, he is. I raised him right.”

“I mean, of course. It is you we’re talking about.” He agrees, he doesn’t even know how much of an effect that had on you. “While I was running this one lady stopped me and asked for a photo so she could send it to her son.”

“I always forget you’re famous.” you huff a laugh as you continue to fry the eggs.

“Well, not famous, just rich.” you roll your eyes, “To others, I’m a young and successful CEO, but to you and friends and family, I’m just regular Tetsuro.” He takes a bite into his banana. “Remember that one time in college, when we planned on majoring in the same subject just so we could have the same job?” You immediately chuckle, remembering the event.

“We were so naive.” It’s Kuroo’s turn to chuckle, he looks over to you and grins when he sees you smiling to yourself. It’s the first time in a while he’s seen you even let out a laugh in front of him. You usually keep to yourself. “Things were different, back then.”

“They were,” He crosses his arms with the banana still in his hand. “Hey, what do you do now, by the way?”

“Well, I’m a finance manager for a museum. I just file reports and long-term financial goals and other stuff.”

“Holy shit, that’s amazing, Y/N! Heard they pay really well.” He sounds so genuine, you can’t even look him in the eye.

“Yeah, it’s nothing really.” You shrug off, but you can’t help the way your heart swells. He’s always been so supportive.

“Are you kidding me? That’s literally like boss girl shit. You’re literally bad ass.” You laugh at the nickname and he joins in with you. You look up at him and smile again, about to thank him until you hear a small pair of footsteps walking down the halls.

It was Takeru, he was rubbing both of his eyes while walking, which was blocking his vision, He’s just about to run into a box, thankfully Kuroo swiftly picks him up and places him in his feeding chair.

“Woah there, bud! You gotta be more careful, okay?” The boy nods shyly, still very unfamiliar with Kuroo. Kuroo grins at the toddler brightly and Takeru smiles back and you could’ve sworn right then and there your heart melted. You turn your head quickly, acting as if you didn’t just witness the scene that has just made you soft.

This man is going to be the death of you. It’s been less than a day and you’re already softening to him.

“Good morning, baby. How was your night?” You coo, walking towards your son with his plate of scrambled eggs and toast with sliced apples on the side. You had cut up the bread into small pieces and didn’t put any spread on it because Takeru is a picky eater.

“Good!” He nods aggressively, rubbing his hands together in excitement. “Thanks for the food, mama!”

“You’re welcome, honey.” you give him a quick peck on the cheek. You turn to Kuroo, who’s gives you a smile and you smile back. “I made pancakes and kept them in the oven so they’d be warm.”

“Why oven?” he laughs and you playfully hit him on his chest.

“Because, Kuroo. I read it somewhere. And,” you open the oven lifting the pan from the oven to reveal the pancakes, which were still steaming hot. “It obviously worked.”

“I’m impressed, you used to suck at cooking.”

Now all settled at the dining table, it’s quiet, Takeru speaks up every now and then to ask you a question to which you reply to and it’s as if he’s completely ignoring Kuroo’s presence. Kuroo has already texted you, asking why Takeru wasn’t asking Kuroo any questions and you simply explained that he’ll come around since he’s a shy kid.

“You should come stay at my place. The both of you.” He says suddenly, you nearly choke on your food, shaking your head in disapproval before Kuroo interrupts you. “Wait, let me explain.”

“I’m listening.”

“I feel like it would be more convenient, you know? You have to drive an hour to your job, which is literally like a 10 minute drive from mine, I’m literally always home, so I could watch Takeru, so it would be son and father bond—“

You cut him off with a loud cough, and motion your head towards Takeru, who cocks his head to the side and Kuroo silently apologizes.

“I need to be there when you’re with him.” you state, taking a bite of your eggs.

“Why?”

“Do you trust yourself with kids?”

He opens he mouth to say something, but then closes it.

“Exactly.”

“So.. You’re gonna move in?”

“Can you not word it like that.. and no, That’s too fast. Not to mention, it’s weird. I work at home aswell, Kuroo. I only go for meetings once or twice a week, so it just doesn’t make sense.”

“Okay,” He swallows the food in his mouth “Who babysits Takeru?

“Kenma, when he can. It’s either that or I hire a babysitter.”

“A babysitter? You don’t have like.. one who’s long-term?”

You glance at Takeru for a brief second and then sigh “No, there’s not many of those types of babysitters near us.” you mutter.

“Perfect! See? Another reason why you should just move in. It’s nothing more than two parents co-parenting.”

“Kuroo, I understand your intentions, but it’s just not going to work.. I can’t.” you sigh once again and Takeru looks up at you with concern and you smile reassuringly at him. “That’s too much..”

“Well, I don’t see what the problem is here.”

“This,” You motioned your hands between you and Kuroo “This is the problem. I’ve been taking care of Takeru by myself, and I’m not saying I don’t want you guys to have a bond, but it’s not a smart idea for me and Takeru to practically move in with you. I honestly don’t feel comfortable doing that. Besides, I love it here. I worked hard for this house.”

“Right, I’m sorry.” Kuroo looks at you in awe before giving you a small nod.

“It’s fine, I know you just want to get closer with him, but it’s gonna take time. We can’t rush things. So let’s take things slow between the two of you, okay?”

“Okay.”

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formeandmyfics · 3 years

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Jugenea Fic

IN STITCHES

just a short, random, fun one

1956

New Frontier Hotel

Vegas

It was nearing 4 a.m. when Judy turned out the lamp on the nightstand and snuggled into the feather-down comforter of her hotel bedroom. The darkness, along with the fresh, cool sheets, made her immediately drift off into sleep. As she did so, her mind replayed tonight's events.

She was nearing the end of her contracted show at the hotel. Every show had been a success, and with such a great audience, she was having a blast. Unfortunately, that morning, she had come down with laryngitis. She could speak alright; singing, even a slow melody, her voice had come out raspy and trying any loud or high notes sounded like a good impersonation of Mickey Mouse. She panicked. She could not cancel that show, not just because of financial aspects with the hotel, but because she didn't want to have newspapers write more false claims as to why she cancelled, which some columnists had gotten almost venomous since she left MGM. Most importantly, she also didn't want to disappoint her fans.

With Gene's quick thinking, he contacted their buddy Jerry Lewis, whom was in town, and begged him to help Judy out. Fortunately, he came through, but told both of them, "I'm scared shitless. I don't know what to do out there." Judy was nervous, too! She didn't know how the show would pan out or how the audience would react.

Gene had said to her, "They just want to see you. That’s all. You can sit at the edge of the stage and talk to them about the weather and they'd be happy. That's how magnetic you are, so go and use it. Go out there with Jer' and just have fun."

Jerry did his comedy bits, bantered with Judy, leaving her in hysterical laughter, and they interacted with the audience. Jerry also sang some of her songs, in her normal arrangements, including 'Rock-A-Bye' with Judy as his personal cheerleader by his side. The crowd didn't mind at all that she couldn't perform. It was a very intimate evening, and all-in-all, a smash. She was so very grateful.

After the show, she had a late dinner with Gene and a few friends, including Frank and Lauren, who surprised her by showing up to the show. By 2 in the morning, more people started coming around their booth in the bar and the noise was too much for Judy's exhaustion. Gene wanted to stay there with Frank a bit more so he told her to get some sleep. Giving him a kiss goodnight, she went up to the room. After reading a book, she finally got sleepy and head to bed. And boy, it felt marvelous.

In the downstairs lobby, Lauren shook her head, annoyed, as she walked hastily up to the front desk in the hotel's lobby.

"May I use the house phone, please?"

The receptionist nodded, "Here you are ma'am," then placed the phone on the corner for her.

"Thank you." She immediately dialed the Kelly's hotel suite. When there was no answer, she dialed again, but no answer.

"Dammit, Judes," she murmured as she clicked the phone down. She hoped Judy hadn't taken a sleeping pill.

The Kelly's suite was quiet, and dimly lit, as Lauren entered with Gene's key. The double doors to the bedroom were shut, no light coming from beneath them, so Lauren knew Judy was dead asleep. Still, out of curtesy, she knocked before entering. Walking over to the empty side of the bed, she turned on the lamp there.

“Judy,” with no response, Lauren kneeled on the bed and leaned over to softly shake her friends arm, “Judy. Wake up, hun.”

She stirred before turning, a puzzled look on her face, clearly still more asleep than wake, “Betty?”

“Yes, it’s me.”

“What are you doing in my room,” she asked sitting up.

“Something’s happened. Are you awake?”

“What time is it?”

“4. You gotta get up. Gene’s got himself in a dilly,” Lauren said getting off the bed to grab Judy’s silk robe which hung over the vanity chair.

“What do you mean,” she asked alarmed.

“Some drunk asshole kept running his mouth and Gene kept antagonizing him. It ended in a brawl and Gene cut his arm pretty bad.”

Judy bolted out of bed putting her robe on, “Oh my God. Is he alright?”

“He’s okay, but the cut’s pretty deep. He won’t stop bleeding. The bartender gave him a rag to hold on his arm. I told him he needs stitches but he won’t stop arguing with me,” Lauren said as she followed Judy into the living room.

“Where is he now?”

“Downstairs with Frank talking to the house detective.”

“Oh, wonderful,” Judy said upset, “What should I do? I can't go down there like this. Lord knows what would come out in the papers if someone saw us.”

Just then there was a knock on the door and Lauren went over and opened it. Gene came in first, and irritatingly nudged Frank’s hand off his back, as he did so.

“Gene, what the hell have you done now?”

“I’m fine,” he said upset himself before he plopped onto the sofa.

“You’re not fine. You need stitches.”

“I don’t need fucking stitches, Betty. I told you that.”

“Please don’t talk to her like that, let me see,” Judy said sitting next to him.

“Don’t worry about it,” Lauren replied unphased, “He’s cranky and has a gash the size of the Grand Canyon. I think it’s all the blood loss that’s messed with the tone in his voice.”

Judy tried not to smile at Lauren’s sarcasm, but Gene shot her a dirty look as if they were siblings. When Judy got the rag off of his arm carefully, she looked at her husband horrified.

“For Christ sakes, Gene.”

“Baby, I’m okay.”

“You’re not okay. You’re still bleeding. Look at the damn rag. It’s soaked,” she cried out.

“He needs a hospital.”

“He’s not going to a hospital because that’s dramatic and a waste of time,” Frank cut in, “Just call the house doctor.”

“I’m not taking him to the hospital or calling the house doctor,” Judy said getting up and walked across the room towards the phone, “If this gets out, people will think he came down with a Judy Garland ailment.”

“Judy,” Gene yelled shocked, then shot her a look over his shoulder, “That’s not funny.”

With the phone to her ear, she waved him off, clearly had been poking fun at her own expense.

“Who are you calling,” Frank asked.

“Tom Jacobs. He came to see the show tonight and is staying at the hotel,” she said of their doctor friend, a prominent Beverly Hills physician, “Maybe he can come look at Gene.”

“You’re going to wake him up at four in the morning,” Gene asked.

“Yes, so my husband doesn’t bleed to death...Hi, Tom? Hi, it’s Judy. I’m so sorry to wake you up, but I don’t know what to do. I’m alright, but Gene’s got himself in a pickle. He cut his arm pretty bad and we think he need stitches...”

“I DON’T NEED STITCHES,” Gene yelled interrupting her.

Judy continued, looking at her husband upset and yelled back at Gene covering the receiver with her hand, “He DEFINITELY needs stiches! Ok. Yes. Room 209. Thank you, darling. Buh bye.”

She walked on back over to Gene and sat down next to him again, “Why did you antagonize him, especially when you know he’s a drunk. You know I hate that stuff,” she said in a stern, wifely manner.

“If you heard the things he was saying, you would have thrown your martini in his face,” Gene retorted leaning his head back against the couch tired.

“Judging by what he was saying, she would have thrown it on his crotch,” Frank agreed.

“How hammered are you,” Judy asked.

“Scale?”

She sighed impatiently, “1-10.”

“4.”

“I highly doubt that.”

“No,” Lauren interrupted, “He didn’t drink that much.”

“I can attest,” Sinatra added.

When Gene rolled his head to look at her with a ‘see’ expression, she smiled, softening.

“What did the house detective say,” Lauren asked her buddy next to her.

“Threw the guy out and I sweet-talked him and he let us go,” Frank quipped quite proud.

“Are you in pain,” Judy asked sweeping some of his hair back with her fingers.

“No. Can't really feel my arm right now.”

“Can you feel this,” she asked and leaned in to kiss his cheek.

“That I can definitely feel.”

When the doctor came, Lauren and Frank said their goodbyes to give them privacy. Tom looked Gene over and took his vitals.

“Well, here’s the deal, bud,” Tom said, “Your vitals are great. Your blood pressure is just a little high but that’s to be expected after what happened. And your wife is right. You definitely need stitches.”

“Fuck,” Gene said to himself.

Judy looked at Tom and whispered, “He hates needles.”

“Tell ya what, pal, I’m gonna give you some happy juice so while I suture you up, you won’t feel a thing.”

Judy lit herself a cigarette as the doc worked on Gene’s stitches, who looked like he was asleep. She paced slowly back and forth. The movement caught Gene’s eye and his head slowly rolled to look at her. He tried focusing his eyes a moment, and when he did, he made a silly grin.

“Hey, you.”

Judy stopped in her tracks and looked over at him, exhaling.

“How are you feeling?”

“Come here,” he said and reached his free arm out towards her, lazily.

“Gene, don’t move, please,” the doc said looking through his magnifying glasses.

Judy immediately went over and took that hand so he wouldn’t continue to move.

“You’re beautiful.”

Judy let out a surprised chuckle, “Even at the crack of dawn, huh?”

“Is that what it is?”

“Pretty much.”

“You look familiar.”

Judy’s eyes widened and she looked up at Tom who just smiled not lifting his eyes, “Don’t worry about him. It’s the same effect as if he’s coming off anesthesia. He’ll be fine.”

“Well, you look familiar, too,” Judy played along.

“I’m Gene Kelly,” he stated proudly, but still with a slurred speech.

“Nice to get reacquainted, I’m Judy Kelly.”

His smile faded and he furrowed his eyebrows, “We have the same last name? Oh, no, you're not my sister are you?”

Judy let out a laugh but quickly cleared her throat, “No, darling, I’m your wife.”

“What’s your maiden name?”

“What an odd question. You want my maiden name or my given name?”

“Pick.”

“Well, you probably remember me more as Judy Garland.”

“Wait,” Gene went to sit up but Judy pushed him back, “I married Judy Garland?”

“Yeeeees,” she teased.

“Holy shit,” he mumbled to himself which made her laugh again.

“Oh my goodness,” she giggled.

“How long we been hitched?”

“5 years.”

“How can I not remember this? Where have I been this whole time?”

“You’ve been with me...dancing me off my feet and giving me two little Kelly’s.”

“We got kids?”

“Yes, sir,” she said reaching for her cigarette again, “A four-year-old girl and a one-year-old boy.”

“Can I see them?”

“I’m sorry, darling,” she giggled feeling a tad uncomfortable with her husband’s temporary amnesia, “Your parents came and took them home with them a few days ago. We’ll be with them again next week when we leave here. Tom,” Judy said a bit worried, “How long is this going to last?”

“Oh, it’ll wear off in about an hour, if not sooner. It’s a completely normal reaction, Judy, don’t worry yourself.”

“I’m worried he’ll want to re-do our honeymoon and have two more kids in that next hour since he can’t remember,” she teased.

They both suddenly heard Gene softly snoring and Judy felt relieved.

“I don’t think you’re going to have to worry about that. He’s going to have a very restful night’s sleep.”

“He’s such an idiot sometimes,” she said looking at her cute, sleeping husband, “But he’s my idiot.”

#judy garland #gene kelly #jugenea #fan fic

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softkuna · 3 years

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playlist

› 𝚋𝚘𝚔𝚞𝚝𝚘 𝚡 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚡 𝚔𝚞𝚛𝚘𝚘

› 𝚙𝚘𝚕𝚢. 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚋𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚢 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛 𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚞𝚎𝚜. 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚞𝚕𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚟𝚒𝚋𝚎𝚜. 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜 𝚊 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝.

› 𝟸𝟷𝟿𝟻𝚔

You had a shit day. You got pegged in the face with a volleyball so hard, you could practically taste the concussion as you sprawled backwards. Luckily, the medic ok’d you to keep playing. Unluckily, the whole ordeal happened right in front of a pro team’s scouting manager. The embarrassment alone made you want to hide under a rock until next season. To make it all sting just a little bit more, Bokuto and Kuroo had their own games to attend, so it wasn’t like you could curl up in Kuroo’s dorm like you might’ve before. Bokuto was only in town for a few days, too, and you were certain he’d be practicing or playing the whole weekend. So instead, you sigh as you walk onto the train by campus, shooting a text to the tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum.

🗨️We lost :( I think I broke my nose. And my careeeeeeer

Bokuto’s fingers rapid-fire replied, followed my Kuroo’s more casual pace.

🗯️BROKEN NOSE?!! ARE YOU OK???

🗯️Wait how did u lose? Aren’t they good luck????

💬That’s a broken leg, bruh.

💬Sorry babe. You’re not concussed, though, right?

🗨️I’m fine ^^” just pulled a hina

🗯️Hows a broken leg good luck? U cant play on that THAT SHIT HURTS 😱 😱

🗨️👀 👀 👀

🗨️Bo pls

As you sat on the train, you quietly snorted to yourself. Bokuto was an amazing player and an even better boyfriend, but sometimes you thought his muscles squeezed out a braincell or two.

💬Saw the clip on twitter. hows your face? I’m sure its still hot

You scoffed with a roll of your eyes. Kuroo, flirtatious as always, but your reflexive smile matched the tone of your text.

🗨️If hot = busted, then sure 🙄

🗯️HEY UR HOT 😘 😘 SHUDDUP

By the way their texts disjointedly pieced together before coming to a halt, you knew their matches started. You locked your screen with a sigh. Whether it was the ace’s ADHD-induced impulse thoughts or the blocker’s humorously blunt honesty, the two had always managed to spike your spirits high and block the anxieties that crept over the net. Without their distractions, the day replayed in 4K across the theater of your mind. Back slumped against the seat, you could feel the heaviness of it drag you down to the ocean floor.

But now here you were, walking to your apartment with no reprieve from the disappointment. Rather than doing your adult responsibilities like clean, cook, or generally care past a shower, you slept. It was a deep, blank sleep. The type where you know you’d wake up feeling that eerie calm in the dead of night.

Brightness blared next to your pillow – invading your vision as it violently vibrated against your hand. A loud ring attacked your half-concious hearing, jolting your heart like a jumpstarted engine. Quick reflexes enacted before you could stop the near Olympic vault of your phone into the wall across the bed.

“You’ve got to be kidding me… who the hell….” You tear the blankets off, shivering at the cold as you pick the device back up. Thank your lord and savior, Asahi, for gifting you an Otter Box for Christmas.

A gentle gasp left your lips as you saw a slew of missed texts from the dynamic duo. Oh no. Oh no. You felt horrendous. Your phone lit up as a photo of Kuroo with a French fry up his nose vibrated to life.

As fast as your fingers could, you slid to answer, “He-“

“-LLO WE ARE OUTSIDE ARE YOU COMING OR WHAT?!” Bokuto hollered into the mic, practically blowing out the speaker with sheer vocal force.

“Holy shit, Bo! What? What do you mean?” Cautiously, the screen was brought closer to your cheek again, ghosting about a centimeter for your hearing’s safety.

“Don’t you check your phone, hot-stuff? We’re going for a drive,” Kuroo honked the horn, echoing through the window and phone.

Sure enough, the string of texts was about a drive and a half-planned plan of action. Thrilled enthusiasm rippled through you. You didn’t even think you’d get to see Bokuto this visit let alone with Kuroo! Praise the scheduling gods!

The phone squished between your shoulder and ear as hands searched for an outfit that wasn’t your hoe shorts and sports bra. You threw on Bokuto’s old Ace’s Way shirt, and on top a near ancient Nekoma varsity jacket. Both items of which were left in your apartment from a get together nearly a year ago, “I’ll be out in a sec!”

College was difficult. Especially when each of you had gone in somewhat different directions after high school. Kuroo, like yourself, played volleyball in university. And like yourself, nearly ripped his hair out when experiencing the hell that was Macroeconomics with Professor Mori. Bokuto was scouted play volleyball professionally, popping in and out of Tokyo to visit you two. At some point along the way and a slew of confusing budding emotions later, the three of you dove head first into a lovingly symbiotic relationship. It was hard when each of your schedules were chaotic, but worked out for the best as you all strove for your own goals while cheering each other on.

You grabbed your bag of random things including underwear, extra clothes, and some money. You never knew with the two of them what may happen and you learned from one wild trip to Osaka that Bokuto’s sense of direction was about as bad as you’d think it’d be.

Half jogging, you rolled your eyes to the red corvette. Kuroo loved that thing way too much. Through the window, you could see Bokuto lean across the console to open the back driver-side door for you. The grin he wore could’ve fueled the sun itself, “BABE! LIGHT OF MY LIFE! EDGE-LINE STRAIGHT SHOT! WER’RE GOING ON AN ADVENTURE,” His muscular arm stretched to you, calloused hands reaching for you to grab.

He pulled you you between the seats for a bear hug, wide chest nearly eating you whole. He was as toasty as always. Or maybe it was just your cheeks. Either way, you were happy to see him, “Missed you, Bo! Sorry for missing the texts.”

“You were asleep weren’t ya?” Kuroo turned in the driver side, a hand finding its place at the crown of your hair. The lazy pique of his own lop-sided smile greeted your playful glare, which melted into a nod and a sigh. The look he gave softened at the navy-coated aura rolling off you in waves. He stroked your hair once, poking your cheek as his hand passed it, “You’re here. ‘s all that matters. Now, Hoots over here can shut up about your nose, which is… a little fucked up, wow.”

“You don’t say?” Your expression dead-panned as Bokuto pulled back from you to examine the swollen cartilage. While you wanted them to see the game, you were absolutely glad that they didn’t. Bokuto would have barreled down the bleachers had he seen your wipe out in person. Actually, you recalled a snap from Atsumu; the camera pointed to the tile of a locker room, Bokuto’s howling in the background with a simple caption of ‘You good?’

Pulling away from the ace, you sat back into the middle seat, arms resting on the leather between the passenger and driver sides. Kuroo drove with his hands low on the wheel, long digits thwacking the steering wheel to a silent beat. You glanced between the two, suspicious of their matching expressions. You dared ask, “Why’s it so quiet?”

“Are you saying-“ Kuroo began.

“-you want some tuunesss?” Bokuto ended giddily.

He readily tapped a button on his phone, shielding the screen from you protectively. Kuroo’s gaze darted between the dash screen and the road, waiting for whatever shitpost song Bokuto most definitely was about to put on.

“Guys… what are you-“

A record scratch.

I still hear your voice when you sleep next to me.

“You’re fucking kidding me! Turn it up, turn it up!” Your hand bulleted to the volume, body squeezing past the two to crank up Cascada’s Everytime We Touch until the windows rattled. Kuroo and Bokuto shared a knowing, toothy smirk. Bingo.

“Forgive me, my weakness, but I don't know why

Without you, it's hard to survive!”

Duetting with the utmost of dramatics, you and Bokuto reached for some imaginary lover escaping in the distance, opposite hand grasping near your hearts. Kuroo snickered, forever and always amused at how weirdly in-sync the two of you could be. Watching both of you thrash wildly together was probably the most endearing thing he’s seen all day.

The silveret pumped his fists as you both scream-sang the modern masterpiece. His large hands enveloped yours with enough theatrics to shake the emotion into the chorus:

“'Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling

And every time we kiss, I swear I could fly

Can't you feel my heart beat fast? I want this to last

Need you by my side

'Cause every time we touch, I feel the static

And every time we kiss, I reach for the sky

Can't you hear my heart beat so? I can't let you go

Want you in my life!”

The palm of your hands smacked into their biceps at the last lines, letting the 2000’s synth twinkle into your veins. The vibes in this vehicle were immaculate. Waves that crashed over you, drowning you earlier in the day, receded, leaving sun-warmed sands to dance across. The ones who paved the way were a sarcastic cat and overzealous owl.

The song was coming to an end and you excitedly whipped between the two, “What’s next?! What’s the playlist?! Link it to me? Please?” You bat your eyelashes at them, Kuroo nudging his chin to the other. The ace hurriedly clicked a few buttons and opened a few apps, radiating delight itself, “Done!” Your phone buzzed with Bokuto’s link. The title of the playlist popped up, overpouring unadulterated admiration into your heart until it warmed up to your cheeks.

Tunes To Cheer Our Best Babe Up To.

It was silly, but on brand for the two. All of the songs were added within the last three hours by both boys. Each one of them an absolute banger.

It was Kuroo’s idea in the beginning. He remembered all the times in high school you’d cry after an exam, near inconsolable until he’d loan you his headphones. Just a few months ago, he caught you throwing it back to the beat of some pop classic after you failed your first semester’s final exams. There’s a video of it somewhere, but he won’t admit to the sin. You know it because you can hear him hyena-laugh in the hallway every so often as Bad Boy riots in the background.

Bokuto, with all the brilliantly rambunctious enthusiasm the world could give a single human being, added in every song he already had in his likes. All of which he sung with you on every trip until your voices hurt. He even added Mr. Brightside, reminding you of the time he screamed so loud during the chorus that he sounded like a donkey the rest of the day and into his next match. To this very day, the infamous ‘O ᴼO ᵒn ᵉ TᵒOᵘCʰ’ could be heard in the locker rooms by each teammate in unison.

You paused as the next song hit, mouth abruptly shutting as the two in the front recited, word-for-word,

“Man, fuck.”

“What's wrong Bo?”

“Man, these kids, man, talkin' shit, makin' me feel bad.”

“Man, fuck them kids, bro! Look around, hoots, look at life!”

“Man, you're right”

“Mmm, you see? You see this fine bitch right over here?” Kuroo’s long fingers pinched your cheek at the red light, laughing as you jokingly smacked it away.

“Yeah, woah...” Bokuto beamed at you.

“You see these trees man? You see this water?” You snorted as Kuroo’s hand waved to four-way intersection.

“I guess it is okay.”

“Come on, man, you got so much more to appreciate, man.”

“Man you know what, y-you're right...” The words, lyrics or otherwise, still brought a childish scrunch to the ace’s handsome face.

“You damn right I'm right,” Kuroo smirked, taking even the smallest bit of delight out of his perfected timing, “I can't remember a time I was god-damn wrong.”

“Man, thanks, Demon Cat.”

“Hey man, that's what I'm here for.”

Bokuto, half-joke-half-serious punched Kuroo’s bicep, eliciting a feral smirk as they went into the chorus. Bo’s arms crossed as he shook his shoulders to the beat. Kuroo threw down at the next red light, clapping to each beat. Just as the bass shook your heart in its chest, both players head-banged with all their might, car jerking with the force. You feared for the steering wheel and the threat of an airbag going off when both boys slam-drummed the vehicle’s surface. The sight of the two of them going absolutely feral elicited the brightest cackle from your belly.

They really knew how to turn your shittiest days into your new favorites. And you’d definitely be revisiting this playlist.

#i had fun with this one #🐈.kuroo #🦉.bokuto #🍯.hq #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#hq #hq!!#kuroo tetsurou #kotaro bokuto #bokuto x reader #bokuto x you #hq koutarou #kotaro bokuto x reader #kuroo x reader #kuroo x you #kuroo testurou x reader #haikyuu x reader

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jellicle-jemmy · 3 years

Text

So I wrote this a little over two years ago. They are my first thoughts in watching CATS (2019)

This was written basically as soon as I got home from the theatre in 2019. I truly hope you enjoy these, as they have been gathering dust in my drafts. Now, without further ado:

These are just some of my thoughts I had while watching and my initial reaction to the film I have just watched.

Okay, first of all, me and my pals thought we were in the wrong cinema for a couple minutes because there were faaaaar too many people in the cinema

Overture:

As we all know, the music slaps and me and my pals were straight vibing as the camera panned down.

And then the cats appeared. I legit was thinking, “wow they actually made them look like that, huh?”

I immediately identified Munk, Cass, Dem and Syllabub

SPIDER MUNK! SPIDER MUNK! DOES WHATEVER A SPIDER MUNK DOES!

fr tho why did he climb down that wall like that that’s not how cats work

Why are they surrounding her like that?? ARE THEY SUMMONING A DEMON WTF?? I’M SO DIZZY

[Victoria appears] Oh look it’s a babey

I took a forty, smashed in on the ground and yelled SCATTER

Jellicle Songs For Jellicle Cats

Laurie Davidson is babey

This isn’t too bad. I like the way that this number is being handled so far

AAaaaaaaaand now it’s funky town WTF

The music just went rachachacha on us

Munk really be out here straight vibing throughout the whole song

I do like how he’s kind of leading the whole numberits fun to watch

As always, there’s my babey Syllabub

We need to talk about the feet. Or maybe we shouldn’t. Yeah let’s not.

What is with the clapping in the music? Who is clapping? The cats aren’t. The audience certainly isnt. ( @whatsajinglebellcat said “It’s the clap of their ass cheeks as they’re dancing”)

The choreography is mediocre at best, I really dislike Andy’s choreography, why are they like that?????

Francesca Hayward is babey

How is Syllabub able to hang from that position wtf, surely that hurts

Robbie Fairchild as Munk is both daddy and babey (i’m said it I’m not sorry)

The jellicles seem to be having fun at least which is nice

Macavity Dialogue Bit

That Moriarty reference flashing into a wanted poster for Macavity is beautiful thank you so much to whoever pitched that and implemented that

Ooooo Macavity already sounds interesting

Once again, Laurie Davidson as Misto is babey

Demeter and Cassandra, why are you such bitches? Dear lord

The Naming of Cats // Invitation to the Jellicle Ball

Ngl I actually really like this bit

Deadass seems like a cult initiation but we’ve long ago established that the Jellicle tribe is a cult anyway

Munkustrap ur doing so good sweetie

Victoria darling u are one in the babey club

As always, there is Syllabub straight vibing

Mr Strap, Munk that is a child, why are you dancing with her like that?!

Francesca is a stunning wonderful dancer but she should’ve been dancing by herself more

Mr Mistofelees you are such babey ur so cute darling, he’s doing so good

Munk why did you have to sing your bit and then restate it while talking we’re not stupid!

oh wait.

a lot of people still don’t get the plot

carry on, and maybe say it again

The Old Gumbie Cat (Coming from someone who has played Jennyanydots)

no no

no no no

no no nope not happening no

no way

don’t like that at all

why is she doing that

why does she sound like that

Munk ur doing so good but why

Why is she spreading eagle like that

why do the mice look like that

why do the roaches look like that

WHY DID SHE UNZIP HERSELF DEAR GOD MY EYES

NO FUNNY FAT CAT BOING BOING

The Rum Tum Tugger

ooooo... this... is alright

actually

hold up

wait

why is this actually good

awww Jenny and Munk are so cute i’m glad they did munk and jenny’s friendship

Damn Tugger is fun

Okay, why is he reacting to Vic that way

Who cares this slaps

Jason Derulo was a good Rum Tum Tugger choice there I said it

Oh my god i actually love his voice

Syllabub = babey

dear god Jenny that comment about Tugger and being neutered isn’t very in character but I cackled

Jenny sweetie pls don’t try and breakdance

Okay the milk is fucking weird

this is weird

okay nvmind it’s good again

Tugger really be feeling himself in those riffs. and so he should

Grizabella The Glamour Cat

This is well handled

I really like how Griz sang her bit to the curious Victoria

I love that not everyone realised Griz was there right away

Of course, that is

oooo Cass and Dem are feisty

Deadass Cass seems like Grizabella’s child??!!!

Oh my god they look like the Jets or the Sharks are they about to start clicking????!!!!

Gang gang

Once again - syllabub, i see you and i love you

Dialogue Interlude

Griz went of with Maccy Boi huh?

Macavity you fuckin’ bitch

I barely remember what happened but that transition into Bustopher Jones really doesn’t fit

I think Bustopher and Jenny had a fight? Umm? Why?

Bustopher Jones

I had a real trouble keeping an eye on whats going on in this number

Why are all his ‘clubs’ just dumpsters? Like no. That’s-

That’s not really

JESUS CHRIST JENNY REALLY JUST WENT POOF HUH

THANOS SNAPPED THAT QUEEN

HOLY SHIT

I LITERALLY JUMPED OUT OF MY CHAIR

After that I was just watching my friend who played Bustopher to see his reaction to everything

Also why is he singing this entire number by himself

Maitre’D (or however the fuck that name is spelled) is married to Bustopher and no one can change my mind

Why is “the cat in spats” so funny, Macavity? Huh? I did like that Mac poked fun at his fashion sense rather than his weight tho

Also why did Bustopher fucking flyyyy??????

Aaaaaaaaand down the slide Veruca Salt style

Growltiger Interlude

Could’ve raised a lot of red flags with this number, but just establishing the character where all the kidnapped characters ended up, I liked

Also what did Growltiger actually do to Bustopher

And that gag about the rhyming of “aims” and “thames” ran a little too long ngl

But I liked the mauled ear on Growltiger - nice nod and detail

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer

These two really said “Be gay, do crimes”

I love them

I fucking love them

And this rendition

10/10 I love this whole number

They’re a little more evil than playful but I literally don’t care because they’re awesome

The jewels on Victoria? Stan

Mungojerrie is such a cute dumb bitch and I love him so much

Their accents are so cute

The house is stunning

Victoria? Babey.

Mungojerrie? Babey.

Rumpleteazer? Babey.

This number was so much fun and is probably my favourite

And their fur designs are so cute too!

I love this song. I love the version. I love everything about it.

Mistofelees X Victoria Interlude

Once again, the twins are babey

You know who else is babey? My clumsy and adorable boy Misto

Clumsy sweetie

Wow they’re going for Mistoria huh?

Why didn’t they play up Mungo and Teazer knowing Vic before the ball? Why is there just a nod to it in when Munk asks about the jewel Vic wears

Old Deuteronomy

I adore Robbie Fairchild

Why does Old Doot appear like a new rival in a video game?

The rendering was so bad in that moment

But Munk is so sweet when Doot appears

They are mother and son, and no one can change my mind

Judi Dench really can’t sing huh...

It’s so raspy and yick

Also her coat is so odd and I hate it

Deadass she looks like an albino

Song of the Jellicles

I genuinely couldn’t tell if I liked or disliked the fact that everyone sang everything

“Meow meow meow meow” Gus dear god why

Again, we’re back into the whole cult thing

Jellicle Ball

The whole cinema lost their minds laughing through this whole choreography and I hated it

But Syllabub got some dance moves

Tugger saying “With your permission” ummm??? He is Doot’s other more feral son

The choreography was good at some points but for the most part it was eh

The music is bangin’ tho

And then they all died lmao

Memory

WHY DOES GRIZ HAVE SO MUCH SNOT

that is all

PART 2 COMING SOON

#cats the musical #jellicle cats #cats musical #cats 2019

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ryttu3k · 2 years

Text

Doctor Who - Flux: War of the Sontarans thoughts!

Holy shit those opening moments. The cloister bell, the black and white dead forest, the creepy house... I wonder if it's representative of the TARDIS being messed up? Or the state of time/Time?

And onwards. Historical and space! The duality *chef's kiss* Mary Seacole is rad, I did read up on her afterwards and she did indeed seem that cool. Lowkey love historical figures getting temporarily promoted to companion.

Speaking of companions, I am very worried about Yaz (also Vinder, but like, much less so given that he only just appeared and instantly got a crush on her, dude has good taste). Her WWTDD was... ow, my heart. Assuming she survives this mini-season (which, uh, is not guaranteed), I would like to see her change that to WWID? "What would I do?" Not trying to be the Doctor, but trying to be Yasmin Khan, who's awesome.

And Dan! Dan! I was skeptical about him when he was announced but he's rad! I love that he got a mini-adventure with his Mum and Dad. I love that he snuck into a Sontaran base armed only with a wok and a phone. Tempura, oh bless. "........that makes more sense."

"How'd you like that, eh?! Pan-fried Sontaran! Now I'm gonna... wok right outta here!"

Dan and Karvanista though. "I've still got a human in this fight!" Karvanista shaking himself off! Dan screaming his head off as he gets, um, flushed and Karvanista's just going, "WHOOOOOOOOO!!" Scooby Doo! I love their whole dynamic and I absolutely want this season to end with them going off on Space Adventures together.

...is it bad I lowkey ship them? It's bad I lowkey ship them, right. *peeks at tags* Okay we're good I'm not the only one. Kardanista or Danvanista, apparently.

Quoth @famdommcfanface who articulated it perfectly I hate it here:

*Deep breath* Okay but Dan and dog boy have so much enemies to lovers potential, they have a kind of soulmate thing going on and I know they’ll bond and I think dog boy will die and Dan will cradle his dying body and it'll be strangely homoerotic and Chris why are you doing this to us I don't want to ship Dan with a dog but you're leaving me no choice.

There was this moment in the ship yard where he saw those people being executed and his expression just... changed. Like there was this look in his eyes that was like, "I'm a Companion now." Honestly, chills.

The General needs a punch in the dick. And most of the Sontarans (Linx shoutout, though!). Very impressed at both the Doctor's slingshot and Dan's Mum's wok, heh. Back of the neck!

("I wanted to ride a horse" was lowkey hilarious tbh. Also, "Take your hat off, mate! ...Eugh, on second thoughts, put it back on." And the mischievous eyebrowraise after, “You're talking to her." And "I'm gonna need a pointy stick." And, "Hit the road, Skaak." Thirteen I would die for you.)

So that temple, the Moirai, the Bling Siblings and their silent friend, and Time as a planet and a physical force... I'm guessing that the two Moirai fading out is why Flux was unleashed? Time broke slightly, so now it's being eaten and stuff?

Next two episodes are 'Once, Upon Time', which has Cybermen and the Doctor with a new coat, and Village of the Angels. I'm guessing the latter is where we'll see the Weeping Angels and Claire again, and still no idea what's happening with Dan’s friend Di (unless she is the Passenger?) or the guy from old Liverpool making the tunnels (apparently, he's Joseph Williamson, who really was excavating Weird Tunnels. With Dan as a Liverpool tour guide, he almost certainly knows about them). We shall wait and see!

(As a side note, I am really enjoying the serial format. We haven't had a proper serial since Trials of a Time Lord! I'd love to see this get picked up in the future!)

(As a side, side note, Thirteen's hair.)

(That is all.)

#doctor who #dw spoilers

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princess-of-the-corner · 3 years

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Fate Liveblog episode 1! Let's watch this trainwreck!

Seeing "in association with Rainbow" over this dark ass opening is sending me.

Feckin sheep. Ah fun. Mutilated sheep body. Insert Silence of the Lambs joke here.

Oh we just jump to bootleg Hogwarts right after the sheep.

Okay I'm 99% sure knife boy is Riven.

Wtf who is British McBitch? Please tell me that's not Sky.

Mansplain??? That's not... That's not mansplaining. He's saying "you look lost as fuck so if you need help ask me".

Wait is Riven British too wtf? Also boy from what I've heard you have no right to call anyone out on "perving on the forst years". Though Riven and the guy I'm assuming is Sky already have more chemistry in ten seconds than Sky and Bloom did in three minutes.

Oh god everyone's British.

Ah. Stella's a bitch now. Seriously add some more passion and her condecending remarks could fit with the original Trix. At least they kept her having a magic ring?

"We've had wings in the past but as we evolved our effects budget has been lost".

Okay. I know WoW had a Peter Pan based story, so Fate acknowledgign Tinkerbell shouldn't throw me off guard but still.

Also I can already tell they're trying to Avatar this by seperatinf the Elements instrad of just. People have Magic affiliations of all kinds.

I know the original Faragonda was already kinda bootleg Dumbledore but bootleg Faragonda is looping back into that so hard.

"Lady of the flies sweetie don't be sexist!". Honestly the corection is more sexist. Women can be lords if they want to fuck you.

Well Aisha is helpful and so far the best character but god the bar is low and I don't expect more.

"There's a fairy in my family tree. Like a long dormant magical bloodline". Or you know. You're adopted.

Wait. The "Otherworld" has Harry Potter?

Ah there's the "flora is my cousin" thing. Kinda hate how I'm identifying with Terra as the fat girl who is awkwardly rambling.

Okay Musa is also kind of s bitch. Like girl just tell Terra "hey I'm not up to talking rn".

Okay. I know they're talking about doing it with girls but goddamn do these two have some homoerotic tension. Or maybe it's just the swordfighting.

Ah yes. Riven gets high. Great.

Oh. Exposition while Riven goes off to get high. This won't end well. Wait. The Otherworld has shotguns? The teacher mentions a shotgun. Also "Burned Ones" sound like a fancy name for zombies.

Riven how did you not notice that body when you sat down. Do you have no peripheral vision??

"Let's get this cleaned before the gossip starts". Cuts immediatly to the gossip.

Aisha's bingo decapitation joke was funny. But will we learn something other than how she likes to swim?

Beatrix is dropping in all the swears. She's also giving vreepy stalker vibes.

Okay. Flashback to Bloom fighting with her mom. And you know what? For all the "I'm not like other girls" vibes, I kinda get it if your mom is calling you a weird loner to your face.

God mansplaining again. No.

Oh. Okay. The Stella and Sky thing is giving me heavy cheating and abuse vibes. Yikes.

Has Bloom... Not heard the rumors about the mutilated dead body outside the barrier? Because if so she's dumb af.

Oh. She's dumb af anyway for going to the middle of a forest to test out fire powers instead of waiting for class tomorrow where she'll have an actual teavh in case, oh I don't know, something goes wrong?

Oh hey guess what happened. Luckily your new friend is a water fairy. And she calls her out on that dumb idea!

Flashback again. Why is her mom such a bitch oh my god? Damn she kinda deserves to be punched. Maybe not set on fire but decked for real.

Oh Aisha's asking if she's adopted.

Oh no they're doing a changling plot? Really? Fuck.

Secret tunnel! Not sketch at all!

Okay Riven's being a little agressive in the flirting but honestly dude seems a little into it. Terra's kind of butting in so he's kinda right in being like "hey fuck iff" but the fat joke is a little uncalled for.

Terra fuckint snapped. Not sure he deserved to be stramgled just yet. Also the "don't be a dick to fat people" thing is a little hamfisted.

Ah. Stella's getting the "my mom is a bitch who puts expectations on me so I'm also a bitch" thing ain't she?

Ugh. Mind fairy. Why.

"i remember what happened to the last person who was talking to Sky". Dude. Did Stella kill someone? Considering what she did sending Bloom out there she might've holy shit.

Wow. They're trying to make Bloom's parents sound decent after the whole. "Weird loner" and stealijg her door thing. Wtf.

"I always knew your path wouldn't be like everyone elses". Is that why you punished her for not being head cheerleader or whatever?also can't they see her in the shadows outside the house?

This abandoned warehouse has elevtricity?

Oops. Lost the ring. Luckily everyone showed up right then.

Oh. Stella and Sky are going to be the "on again pff again but should really stay off" couple. Ugh.

"I can't sleep in a room where everyone hates me". Well maybe don't try to get a girl killed because your ex dares to talk to her.

"You're better than you think you are Stella". Are you sure about that?

Snorting the midnight adderall???

Terra's trying. Like. I still hate thst she's replacing Flora but I kinda relate man.

I like how they're having the emotional speech about the headmistress wanting to protevt her students while Dane is going through Riven's instagram and accidently liking hot pics. Also fucking "crymeariven".

Ah. Mysterious hooded fucker in the woods. Is it Beatrix? Yep. Why the fuck.

Okay that's episode one done. Took fucking forever.

I think my feelings so far is what I expected:

As an adaptation, it sucks. The characters are nothing like their original versions. The aesthetic is completely gone. So on and so forth.

But treating it as its own thing.... It's still a bit of a hot mess but the kind of hot mess I'd be all guilty pleasure about.

They seriously should've just made this it's own thing. Give the characters new names and you wouldn't be able to tell it was related to Winx Club.

#fate liveblog #winx club

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iprefertheterminsane · 3 years

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GUESS THE BITCH BINGE WATCHING BFU.

*finger guns self*

Hey guys just for funsies I'm gonna post my draft on The Ghoul Boys Investigate A.Z.Fell's and Co. Assume that this is a mix mash of Book and TV Omens, and I'm not finished yet, so pls tell me whether you guys would prefer a demon!Shane or otherwise. I also can't remember if Shane is... Christian? Catholic? Atheist? Im gonna leave a blank in that space for y'all to tell me. In this universe, the Husband's leave the bookshop behind for a scenic life in South Downs without telling any if Aziraphale's neighbours because they didn't think Aziraphale made much if a difference but they are obviously wrong. This is QUITE BFU centric. Onwards!

THE QUEER ANGEL OF AZFELL'S AND CO.

"Today, we are heading to Soho, London in England to investigate the-well, I wouldn't say notorious, kind of famous in the good way, actually-haunting of A.Z.Fell's bookshop in our quest to prove whether or not ghosts are real. "

(Pan to Shane's subtle tight lipped subtle shake if his head to the camera on their right.)

"This ought to be quite the special little episode, actually, would you like to know why, Shane?"

"Why is this a special little episode, Ryan, did I miss someone's birthday again?"

"He has never missed anyone's birthday actually."

"I have like, that, one time."

"Which one time?"

"Fuck you, Ryan, don't get sappy on me, I have a reputation to maintain."

*Wheezing laughter* "Rumour has it-,"

"I am a terrible person who plays pranks on people and disrespects ghouls and demons."

"Did you just admit to ghosts being real?"

"The reason WHY I get away with it is because they AREN'T real, Ryan, don't twist my words. The camera is rolling. Boogaras would be ashamed of you."

"Hey-,"

"Tell us about A.Z.Fell's, Ryan."

"I was getting to it, fucknut!"

"Don't let me stop you."

*Laughing*"Fuck off."

"The circumstances of A.Z.Fell's is quite odd. You know how I'd sworn to only one demon episode per season?"

Shane gasps, exaggeratedly. "Is this a bonus demon episode, Ryan?"

"Quite the opposite, actually, Shane. We are actually about to investigate the one place strongly rumoured for an angel."

"Oh, fuck, really?"

"That's what my research insist."

"So no, holy water for this one ?"

"No," wheezing laughter. "No, holy water for this one."

"We could probably actually get holy water actually, like get the spirit to bless the pipes, or something."

"And where are we gonna take a shit if he blesses the pipes dumbass, you wash your giant ass with holy water on the daily?"

"RIP to you but I would simply not take a shit, Ryan. It's called common sense."

"Wait, just to be clear, this is you willing to admit to the existence of an angel of the lord, but not demons and/or ghouls?"

"Its not, wait, it's not like, hold on-,"

"AHA!"

"I'm getting to it! Look, okay, no disrespect to any of our audience of different areas of religion, but I'm a {insert religion here}-,"

*Laughing loudly*"'No disrespect but I'm {insert Shane's religion}'-,"

"Yes," laughing loudly along." No offence to anyone, but personally, it's not like I'm completely dismissing it, which would be ironic considering my stance on the idea of ghouls and demons because there are equally frequent mentions of it across history, and the big book. It's more like the idea of people blaming any wrongdoing or actions completely on the idea of angels and demons instead of owning their mistakes and apologising for them like a man, like it becomes super easy to shift the blame and point fingers if everybody believes in a stupid force that made them do it, like it stole your autonomy and free will, when it isn't that at all, which gives way to a bunch of history like the Witch Trials-,"

"Yeah, I get that. Like, its easier to claim innocence if there's an easy way out instead of manning up."

"Yeah, exactly, that said, I acknowledge that the belief in their existence is important to people out there, and I respect that, and I get where you're coming from, but I draw the line at believing they cause wars and murders and, like, stab people in the eye with needles or what have you in abandoned hospitals-,"

"You fucker."

Laughs. "-when it's just humanity at its worst or finest."

"Well said, Madej."

"Thank you Ryan, that was completely spontaneous and not practised 12 times in the mirror this morning at all."

"Sure didn't seem like it."

"Yup,"

Laughs. "Okay. We ready to go?"

End of Chapter 1!

Yes, I know it needs a bit of polishing, don't judge me. Tell me what you think though!

#Good Omens #BuzzFeed Unsolved #Ryan Bergara #Shane Madej #Aziraphale #Crowley #First draft

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hiirolangley · 3 years

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Okay, we’re discussing Maruma ships now so here are some not on the main list yet! + my rambling and disjointed thoughts as they occurred to me.

So there was the brief Flynn x Yuuri mutual crush thing that happened in Shimaron. The almost-touch in Big Shimaron when Flynn reaches out to him springs to mind as well as the 'kiss' to knock Yuuri out and their dance at the ball where they just end up holding each other. Although Yuuri very clearly decides in his brain not to like her in the end and Flynn is like, I'm married to Caloria, there was still a little something there (and it probably partially contributed to how much Wolf hates her XD). Throwing in my thoughts about this one here... it's kinda ehhhhhhhhhhhhh..... I mean, Wolfram is one thing because the whole mazoku aging thing, but Flynn is a human in her twenties and Yuuri is sixteen. It's definitely ehhhhhh.......... I’m not calling the police or anything especially since nothing happened, just giving it a major side-eye. In any case, this crush is significant because once Yuuri decides in words in his head not to fall in love with her, he stops looking at women altogether. Name another woman from that point on that he fanboys over like he did all the time prior to meeting Flynn.

Sticking to Flynn, Flynn x Norman were a married couple and they did truly seem to be in love. Just by how much she fights for her late husband's land and people and talks about how she regrets never having the chance to have his children and how she completely betrayed her family's expectations to infiltrate Norman's family for political fuckery, I think it's pretty obvious.

Also Conrad x Maidmer Princess!!! How could you forget the most iconic pairing of the entire series!! XDDD She's the one and only woman Conrad out loud admits to being in love with (although honestly not sure how that worked because they couldn't even have a conversation, but oh well). The story this came from also gave us many fun moments ranging from Josak trying to set extremely obviously straight Conrad up with a group of crossdressers, Gwendal's mind getting blown like 10x in a row thinking that extremely obviously straight Conrad was sleeping with men (including Josak) but then trying to assure Conrad through his shock that he’ll be okay with it while Conrad freaks out, Gwendal wholeheartedly ready to accept a fish lady as his sister in law, Yuuri accidentally insulting the fuck out of Conrad's room, Conrad being worried that Yuuri was calling him boring for a minute before getting mentally smacked in the face by Yuuri complaining about being rated 88% unfuckable (and Conrad thinking to himself, well yeah of course), and just Conrad's POV in general which is always fun because he is a little shit XDDD Also I love when he was thinking to himself, I spent the war sleeping with all sorts of women, some of whom were married, and when the war was over people called me a Whore Prince... and then the first complaint he makes about that is along the lines of I’m not a prince, dumbasses. What a fucking gift to humanity that story was.

Getting off my Crack!otp, there’s Cherie's 3 husbands! I think volume 5's prologue sums that up best so I’ll just direct people there.

And then, Yuuri’s parents! Shouma x Miko. The couple that should not have lasted because they literally went on like 5 dates before Shouma confessed to being a mazoku and Miko was like OMG MARRY ME NOW SO I CAN HAVE MAZOKU BABIES despite thinking he was lame af beforehand... and then they got married XDD I feel like every time they appear on page together they get into an argument or misunderstanding, but they’re still together so /shrug

That’s all I can think of right now~

Moving on...

My otp for this series is the royal couple. How often is my otp the official endgame couple!? NEVER! Lord knows I get Second Lead Syndrome on every damn story I read/watch, but for this series I’m not rooting for Conrad. Way back in my early maruma fangirling days, I liked Yuuram and Conyuu equally because who doesn’t love anyone Morikawa Toshiyuki voices? I know that could be hard to believe I liked opposing ships the same amount, but that’s an actual thing that happened. Once I grew up, the Conyuu went away. That kinda sounds insulting to Conyuu shippers, but it’s not. Let me explain~ Psychoanalyzing myself, me liking Conyuu was more me being like, Conrad would be the perfect boyfriend! instead of Conrad and Yuuri are great together!, but when I got older I was like, holy hell he would actually be the worst boyfriend after a while no thanks??? XDDDDD That’s a whoooole other post I probably won’t make~ Anyway, we all have embarrassing college-aged memories whether you attended or not so let’s move on.

Anyway, I know Conyuu is baited all the time and rereading the Maidmer Princess story reminded me that Conrad says looking at Yuuri’s sleeping face gave him the same feeling as looking at the maidmer he fell in love with, but there’s no way that relationship’s gonna pan out canonically. I feel like I’m playing with fire saying that though o.o

Moving on again, ships I fully support would be:

Yuuri x Wolf

Gwendal x Anissina

Adalbert x Julia (you know, in a posthumous way)

And you know what??? Josak x Murata. The chaos. The pure Bisexual Chaos™. I’m here for that.

Also on the topic of couples! Let’s talk about Nicola and Hube. I have feelings here. Say what you want about Wolfram, at least he’s mentally on the same page as Yuuri. Gegenhuber is a whole ass man who knocked up a 15/16 year old. I know they made her older in the anime, but don’t believe those lies! Do I need to elaborate how he’s gross? I don’t think so. BUT, I do like how sensei filtered it through Yuuri’s POV. (Fyi, I realize the following is partially headcanon) As an also 16yo, this grossness does not cross Yuuri’s mind at all. In fact, the only thing he remarks on is that he can’t believe she was pregnant and getting married to another man ... but it crosses Gwendal’s. Adult Gwendal is FURIOUS when he finds out Nicola is pregnant. He was already mad because he hates Gegenhuber and was getting irritated that he and Nicola were in love/told her he’d use the mateki to help humans, but when he finds out she’s preggers and they totally had sex he loses his shit. I dunno, it’s like sensei properly communicated that a teenager wouldn’t necessarily recognize the fucked-up nature of a man in his twenties (or the mazoku version of that) starting a relationship with a 15yo and that they also might misinterpret the anger of the older people who do know better.

And like a cherry on top, Gwen’s anger is solely directed at Gegenhuber, not Nicola. After this adventure, Gwendal personally takes super good care of Nicola and makes sure she’s set up nicely with the Grisela family and even visits her regularly... and then when Gegenhuber wakes up, Gwendal almost kicks him to death. Seriously, he literally kicked him so much Anissina had to heal him so he wouldn’t die (and while she was healing him she was like, you’re fucking gross and I wouldn’t care if you dropped dead here, but I kinda have to do this.) I dunno, I feel like there are so many reasons for people to hate Gegenhuber, I can’t make the claim that this is 100% significantly adding to the hatred. Would you notice another drop in a bucket? But this is my opinion on the matter~ Anyway, it’s 1:30am and I need to stop typing!

#manniversary 2020 #MA event #kyou kara maou #maruma

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morgan-n-cheese-91 · 3 years

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Rant while I’m watching

This is all season 10 the end of 9 and the begninng of 11? I think. This is copied from a chat of mine so I’m not gonna deal with the times. Please just read around them.

WAIT![7:54 PM]BITCH NO YOU CAN"T KILL CAS BITCH FUCKING NO[7:55 PM]OH SHIT[7:55 PM]OH SHIT[7:55 PM]Dean just made allllllll the mirrors frost[7:55 PM]that's nnot fucking good[7:59 PM]CAS WATCHED STAR WARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok Sam has stopped pretending he's not scared of shit. You can clearly see the fear in his eyes now. And frankly it amazing.[11:14 PM]That sounds horrible[11:16 PM]but I'm more saying that more about Jared's acting skills. ma dude.[11:20 PM]Sam[11:20 PM]Bro[11:21 PM]Dude[11:21 PM]nah[11:21 PM]nah Sam was complaining about Dean liking killing these vampires to much[11:24 PM]JODY IS A QUEEN AND SHE IS A GREAT MOM! TRY AND PROVE ME WRONG YOU WILL FAIL! IS that a monster club?!?!?!?!?!?![11:27 PM]Could you settle for JB's? Was that a were shapeshifter battle? My dude your as dead as your gf your gonna bleed out[11:29 PM]shush MONSTER TURF WARS[11:50 PM]MONSTER MOFIEA[11:50 PM]I CAN"T FUCKING SPELL[11:52 PM]"Godfather with fangs."[11:52 PM]uh yea[11:55 PM]FUCKING SWEEDY TOD! Dean I know your bf is in a comanding roll and you think that's hot but please stop hitting on him[12:15 AM]Dam Dean.[12:15 AM]The King is back in town the king is back in town.[12:15 AM]THE King is BACK in town[12:21 AM]To the King and Queen of hell:[12:21 AM]Are we in heaven?[12:22 AM]You must be angels[12:22 AM]wow[12:24 AM]Crowley sold his soul for a longer dick[12:24 AM]pfft-[12:24 AM]I-[12:25 AM]I can't-[12:25 AM]I-[12:25 AM]OMG DUDE WHAT THE FUCK![12:25 AM]HAHAHAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH!!!!!!!!!!!!![12:26 AM]his son is so disaponted[12:30 AM]Dam Crowley's son got flame[12:30 AM]holy shit Dean I swear to god you go all Lord of the Rings on this motherfucking blade I will pull a Tony Stark and take it way.[12:52 AM]Is this the Cas is a little girl episode?[12:55 AM]or not I'm laughing at Metron's discribtion of Cas[12:59 AM]Dean shush[1:01 AM]Dean Cas are having a domistic[1:01 AM]and Sam's trying to medate[1:08 AM]We hate men like you[1:08 AM]He's your Leader's bf who's a little off his rocker right now so shush[1:10 AM]Dean like the Fiddler on the roof[1:10 AM]It's canon[1:12 AM]Why is 6 afraid of 7?[1:12 AM]Cas: Prime number?????[1:12 AM]Sam: The fuck? that's like a 2nd grade riddle[1:13 AM]CAS KNOWS LOTRS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![1:15 AM]SENSEBLE SHOES![1:16 AM][1:20 AM]Heaven: Your lame spring fling Cas is dead[1:29 AM]Cas is sooooo[1:29 AM]Dead[1:30 AM]R I P[1:30 AM]Punish him[1:30 AM]Both Cas and Dean go WHAT?[1:31 AM]WHAT! OMG OMFG[1:32 AM]Pfft-[1:32 AM]Oop[1:32 AM]Rip Dean[1:34 AM]He's in love[1:34 AM]with "humanity"[1:35 AM]Thanos quoted Metatron God Fucking dam it Dean Dean will be glad to know that the Cubs finally win[2:12 AM]Fuck you died again Dean[2:14 AM]"you put on the flag of heaven..."[2:14 AM]Nah he put on the pan flag and then rekt y'all[2:17 AM]Dean's dead for what the 809th time?[2:17 AM]He'll be back[2:17 AM]Time will tell[2:18 AM]Sam he's fucking dead[2:18 AM]D E A D[2:18 AM]But he'll be back[2:19 AM]Chuck can't answer the phone right now[2:21 AM]ok ngl the blade doesn't really look real. It's looks like a prop[2:21 AM]Also[2:22 AM]WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK DEAN?![2:22 AM]HUH?[2:22 AM]YOU THOUGHT THAT WAS A GOOD FUCKING IDEA?[2:22 AM]NO[2:22 AM]NOT A GOOD FUCKING IDEA[2:22 AM]DUMB[2:23 AM]Ok the way they played the opening of season 10 boi that was good[2:23 AM]OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo[2:23 AM]New title card[2:24 AM]Ok so I saw this somewhere but[2:25 AM]Soulless Sam, Crazy Cas, and Demon Dean, (why the fuck are all these allterations?) all at the same time would have been a riot[2:26 AM]Cas has a cold[2:27 AM]Did I just get a read suggestion for Spn x male instert, twice in a row?[2:27 AM]YES! YES I DID![2:33 AM]THe look of relisation[2:35 AM]Cas drives like a grandma[2:36 AM]He got hannah carsick[2:36 AM]and now is also dying so[2:39 AM]Sam's gonna murder Crowley and Dean[2:39 AM]Slowly[2:39 AM]and painfully[2:40 AM]If Sam exrosised Dean? What would happen?[2:40 AM]Would he just drop his body?[2:41 AM]Or would he just straight up die?[2:44 AM]How do they keep the knives up their sleeves without stabbing themselves[2:49 AM]Dean your a fucking slut yes Sam stays quiet.[1:15 PM]Gets punch[1:16 PM]grunts[1:16 PM]"Proof of life,"[1:17 PM]OMG[1:17 PM]OMG[1:18 PM]20 y/o Dean[1:18 PM]yo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![1:18 PM]He looks so young[1:22 PM]Ignore me just skipping all the like odd sexual sences because either they're weird or I'm very embarressed by them[1:26 PM]cas is about to fall asleep behind the wheel and crash[1:31 PM]Cas is asleep on the couch Words hurt[1:45 PM]YOU DON'T GET TO SAY SHIT Hahahahahahahaha[1:55 PM]Omg[1:56 PM]Smoke bombb[1:56 PM]Sam has an asmatha attack[1:56 PM]Dean just looks at him[1:56 PM]like WEAK[1:57 PM]This is payback[1:57 PM]THis is dumb[1:58 PM]YES![1:58 PM]THE PRINCESS BRIDE![1:59 PM]just heals[1:59 PM]Sam just shows up and mauls him with holy water[2:03 PM]Where the fuck did you bring him Sam[2:03 PM]What is this?[2:03 PM]HAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAW[2:05 PM]Garilla man gorilla man[2:09 PM]It's DEPRESSION DEAN but he's more homosidal You went to fa[2:37 PM]*You went to far[2:44 PM]The music is like the Skywalker theme[2:47 PM]Lets play a high stakes game of hide and seek in the bunker[2:52 PM]HERE'S DEAN![2:54 PM]You don't want to play hide and seek anymore?[2:55 PM]Heal by hug[2:55 PM]-Cas[2:56 PM]Lillo and Stich?[2:56 PM]No[2:56 PM]Ey! IT WORKED[2:56 PM]IT WORKED[2:56 PM]IT WORKED!!!!!!!!!!!!![2:58 PM]Good plan Sam[3:01 PM]WEREWOLVES OF LONDON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![3:01 PM]AHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO![3:01 PM]AHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO![3:05 PM]Bitcoin[3:06 PM]Obama[3:06 PM]the ice caps Did I just skip a whole episode to avoid the cringe fuck yea[4:10 PM]The two of them with cougers is the funniest thing Ask Jeeves?[4:21 PM]More like Knives out[4:25 PM]I'm lactose intolerant[4:25 PM]Sam nice[4:25 PM]nice[4:30 PM]These ladies.[4:30 PM]Complaining about dating this guy who's 'ugly' But has an island.(edited)[4:31 PM]but thristing over Sam.[4:31 PM]Who's like I live out of my car[4:31 PM]it's not even my car[4:32 PM]It's by brother's[4:37 PM]"Not to mention Homosexuals"[4:38 PM]Don't mind me just DYING![4:38 PM]omg[4:38 PM]THE FLANNEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![4:45 PM]Dean shush[4:45 PM]your fine she's dead[4:50 PM]The snap of someone's neck sounds like a torilla chip Cas what did you do to Jimmy?[5:14 PM]I'm sorry your kinda hot but I don't like you Hannah[5:15 PM]Hannah just dropped her vessel[5:15 PM]rip[5:22 PM]ok sometimes I feel like I care more about the car then they do Crowley's mum?[5:30 PM]Crowley's mum[5:32 PM]The RETREAT[5:32 PM]HOW MUCH I hAVE HEARD ABOUT YOU![5:37 PM]THE 2 QUEENS![5:38 PM]Jodie's got hunting sense ON[5:38 PM]THE BOIS NO![5:38 PM]They all are gonna know y'all and blow y'all's covers no[5:40 PM]Jodie's about to comit murder[5:41 PM]dang CAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![6:15 PM]YOUR VESSEL"S DAUGHTER"S IN TROUBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![6:16 PM]Claire's about to murder your ass[6:17 PM]Lucifer popped your head[6:17 PM]Cas your not making this any better[6:19 PM]Yes he owns a tie[6:19 PM]No he's not gonna wear it right[6:21 PM]Missionary[6:23 PM]Claire's a vibe[6:24 PM]I'm vibing with Claire[6:27 PM]Ketchups a fruit[6:29 PM]Cas she stole your wallet[6:30 PM]EARTH GRAPHIC[6:30 PM][6:32 PM]Yes[6:32 PM]No[6:32 PM]You had to roast Sam like that[6:32 PM]Dean and you would vibe with this girl[6:32 PM]JUST VIBE![6:33 PM]IT"S A FRUIT[6:33 PM]Ask Sam[6:33 PM]dean and claire are on the same wave lenth[6:33 PM]ask sam[6:35 PM]yes[6:37 PM]You're offended over you worth in pigs?[6:39 PM]Rowna thought he was worth anything from 180-300 $[6:39 PM]and Crowley thinks he was worth any were from 300-500$[6:45 PM]He's a teddy bear and you would get along with his bf[6:47 PM]All three have been there done that[6:51 PM]Really love?[6:51 PM]I feel like that would be a stretch for y'all Charlie's coming back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![7:53 PM]go get ketchup[7:53 PM]it's hell of a lot better i like your sword char Bad Charlie and Meh Dean is not a good combo[9:10 PM]CHARLIE JUST TOOK THE IMPALA![9:15 PM]Charlie broke his nose[9:15 PM]DAM![9:15 PM]USE THE FORSE![9:18 PM]Can we pleasse give charlie bad charlie's outfit?[9:18 PM]PLEASE?![9:18 PM]She looked so hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok the impalas a bench seat[9:30 PM]there's a couple inches differance between the two[9:31 PM]I know from experance that my grandma and grandpa are only a little bit shorter than me but when I pratice driving by pulling out their car I feel crampted in the front seats.[9:32 PM]so either Sam's crampted the whole time[9:33 PM]or Dean has a little stretch to reach the petals[9:34 PM]Fuk dean just got taken too[9:35 PM]YO![9:35 PM]It's 13 y/o Dean[9:38 PM]Spit it out[9:39 PM]How have you lived this long?[9:39 PM]Huh'[9:39 PM]How are u 30?[9:39 PM]How are you alive?[9:44 PM]Doess teenage dean have the mark?[9:44 PM]I would think but?[9:45 PM]TOLD Y"ALL SAM GETSS SQUISHED[9:45 PM]Also Dean should not be driving he doesn't look legal I’m watching you burn[10:03 PM]SHIT LITTLE SAMMY!!!!![10:04 PM]nvm[10:04 PM]You look amazing in a hoodie and nikes Sam did you really use COBAIN as your name[10:16 PM]jesus dude but they are listening to HOSTER!![10:36 PM]LIKE FUCK YEA[10:38 PM]Then they killed a guy the impala has a crank[10:59 PM]i mean duh[10:59 PM]but Charlie's not allowed to be dead[12:38 PM]she knew the rules and broke them Dean's about to kill Sam but[12:45 PM]I'm laughing so hard Don't mind me just refusing to watch 10 22 because Charlie died in 10 21 and I'm pissed[10:33 PM]like she knew the rules and broke them I'm forcing myself to continue watching and Dean is getting pulled over[11:03 PM]I also just told him to be a lawful citzen even though you aren't[11:03 PM]and he's getting arsetted on non existent charges[11:04 PM]They found the id stash[11:04 PM]ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm[11:04 PM]dean used Freddy Mercury[11:04 PM]a known BI man as a cover[11:05 PM][11:07 PM]Sam has lured Crowley into a trap[11:07 PM]pfft[11:08 PM]Poor form even for you[11:08 PM]not my gun[11:09 PM]Petion to give Sam a hair tie[11:09 PM]Man bun that fucker man[11:10 PM]Dean's murdering a family and Sam's murdering Crowley[11:10 PM]What a world[11:11 PM]Die[11:13 PM]Bold words coming from you Sam[11:15 PM]Ginger whore[11:16 PM]Fucking Dean got captured by this fucking bitches[11:16 PM]you fucking dumbass[11:16 PM]both of you[11:17 PM]You can sorta see the camera in the relection of his eyes[11:18 PM]XXXXXDDDDDD[11:20 PM]I like that they stormed the bunker but no ones home because the ones who would be are DEAD![11:20 PM]and cas is where ever the fuck he is[11:22 PM]OH SHIT[11:23 PM]Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Beaten, why for Can't take much more (Here we go, here we go, here we go now) One, nothing wrong with me Two, nothing wrong with me Three, nothing wrong with me Four, nothing wrong with me One, something's got to give Two, something's got to give Three, something's got to give now Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Push me again This is the end (Here we go, here we go, here we go now) One, nothing wrong with me Two, nothing wrong with me Three, nothing wrong with me Four, nothing wrong with me One, something's got to give Two, something's got to give Three, something's got to give now Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Skin against skin, blood and bone You're all by yourself but you're not alone You wanted in and now you're here Driven by hate, consumed by fear Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor One, nothing wrong with me Two, nothing wrong with me Three, nothing wrong with me Four, nothing wrong with me One, something's got to give Two, something's got to give Three, something's got to give now Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Hey! Come! Hey! Come! Hey! Come! Hey! Come![11:24 PM]Don't burn the bloody photo I'm begging you[11:24 PM]Crappy taste my ass[11:25 PM]hes gay[11:26 PM]Dean's gonna raise holy hell on all because you burnt the pic of Mary[11:26 PM]Bringing holy hell on y'all[11:27 PM]Your dead buddy[11:27 PM]You killed Charlie and your gonna burn one of his only pics of his mom and Bobby[11:27 PM]Your fucking dead[11:28 PM]The man is covered in your family's blood and your mocking him about his sister's death[11:28 PM]not a good idea[11:29 PM]HOW MANY NIPPLES YOU GOT BOI?[11:29 PM]ttttttwo?[11:29 PM]Good Head shot![11:30 PM]Dean[11:30 PM]Brother[11:30 PM]blood[11:31 PM]think[11:31 PM]Don't kill the boi[11:31 PM]please[11:31 PM]what the fuck[11:31 PM]-_-[11:32 PM]he was a human[11:34 PM]you're being a dick right now[11:34 PM]he just broke cas' arm[11:35 PM]DO NOT KILL YOUR BF![11:35 PM]HRMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM[11:36 PM]wow you healed quik[11:37 PM]*quicke[11:37 PM]*quick[11:39 PM]I tend to read the summary of the up coming episodes and[11:40 PM]Shot interally from the inside of the impala[11:40 PM]Blah blah blah blah ghouls[11:42 PM]Sam hasn't completely fucked up a spell yet and Cas is an angel so[11:42 PM]you ain't either[11:43 PM]How about[11:43 PM]You give them the spell and they don't kill you[11:44 PM]I swear to god the fandom loves Baby more then they do

#spn #narration #new fan

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pulpwriterx · 3 years

Text

THE RISE AND FALL OF KYLO REN:CHAPTER 4-

I CAN’T REACH YOU

Once I caught a glimpse/Of your unguarded, untouched heart/Our fingertips touched and then/My mind tore us apart.

I Can’t Reach You, The Who, from The Who Sell Out, 1966. Lyrics by Pete Townshend

“Where am I?”

It’s obvious where I am. I’m alone in an interrogation room with a hideous monster, a man so hideous and inhuman, he has to wear a mask.

“You are my guest.”

“Where are the others?”

Dead, I’ll bet.

“You mean the murderers, traitors and thieves you call friends? I have no idea. You still want to kill me?”

He sounds happy about it.

Why is he doing this to me?

“That’s what happens when you’re being hunted by a creature in a mask.”

There is something about him; something that makes me feel like…my life has been a long journey, leading to this room.

This day.

This…?

Fate?

I don’t want this to be my fate.

I don’t want him to be my fate.

He took his mask off.

And stood up.

Mocking her with the fact that he was not a monster.

In Rey’s mind, she was screaming.

Oh no!

It was him.

The Demon Lover, both the Dark Prince whose dusky, saturnine good looks might waylay you in the deepest part of the forest and the Great Beast. The Great God Pan, himself, who would ravish you with his hungry mouth and his big stiff prick after taking you far far far from the path, so far from the path that you might never ever ever want to go back again. This was Man in the Black Mask, her Imperial Lord and Master, in his shiny black jackboots you could see your face in. He was the man that she had waited for on Jakku. The man from the most forbidden of her fantasies the most shameful of her secret dreams.

She knew him.

She had always known him.

Rey wondered if she looked frightened.

She was.

But not of him.

“You think you came for your new friends. But you came to find me, again. Forget about them. They’re strangers to you. Tell me about the droids.”

And then she was talking.

Giving him some kind of answer.

Talking.

Kylo Ren was still talking.

We’re alone in this room.

He could do anything, and I wouldn’t be able to stop him.

Why should I?

Oh no.

There it was.

The thought she didn’t want to be having.

She continued to resist his attempts to get information out of her, but it was her thoughts that disturbed her.

Why am I like this?

Rey tried, but she couldn’t stop these thoughts.

They were as unwelcome as a bizarre sexual dream; the kind where you are doing things you would never do, with people who's faces keep changing, and you wake up wondering what your body was thinking when you enjoyed anything so weird.

He's a big man. He has to be almost as tall and burly as Darth fucking Vader. And under that black outifit? Unlike Vader, he is a whole man. Hung like a stallion.

She closed her eyes, to make them go.

These thoughts.

She was beginning to be really afraid.

“…I can take what I want.”

And he did.

He took her thoughts right from her mind.

He took her loneliness, and her desperation.

She tried to hide her deepest secrets from him.

But he knew them.

He knew everything about her.

Don’t let him know about your dreams.

Don’t let him know what you were thinking about him.

“And Han Solo? You feel like he’s the father you never had? He would have disappointed you.”

“Get out of my head!” Rey sneered.

I waited for you and I waited for you, and I was so glad when I found you. Why do you have to be this man?

“I’m only one man. The man who loves you. You waited for me for a long, long, long time. In your fear. And you loneliness. But I’ve been looking for you for a long, long, long time. I knew it was you, Rebel Girl. I knew the minute I saw you. Just give me the information. I’ll unlock you from this device, and we can begin our part of the journey.”

And then?

Though she had been waiting so long to hear those words?

Rey began to resist him.

“I’m not giving you anything.”

“We’ll see.”

His ring.

His wedding ring.

He’s still wearing it.

Rey bit her lip.

“Ben? Kylo? Stop. Just stop.”

“Stop? Stop what?”

“Whatever this is! Acting like we’re strangers. Strapping me to a gurney. I’m not telling you shit, and you know it!”

“I feel like we are.”

“Are what?”

“Strangers! I come home to find my house dark and empty, and my wife gone, without so much as a note! I look for you all over the Galaxy, and half a year goes by and you and the Old Man and FN2187 turn up with the Resistance to sabotage me! Like we are strangers! I told you who I was and what I did, and you were alright with it for nearly two years. Then, all the sudden, you couldn’t live with it? What happened?”

“You made it sound like you were just some minor villain, and then I found out just who and what you are! I couldn’t stay, after that! Now that I see you in person? It’s worse! You told me you were enslaved by Snoke. Well, are you really going to let him have me? Enslave me, torture me, take my soul? Will you let him do to me what he’s done to you?”

Kylo Ren freed Rey from her restraints.

“No. Never. If I have to, I’ll throw us both off the catwalk, into the magickal heart of Ilum. We can take our chances with space and time. At least we’ll be together.”

He seemed so desperate, so anguished, and yet so hopefully mystical that she couldn’t deny this was her Kylo, her Ben.

The man who believed that the stars belonged to him, and if you knew him long enough, then you started to believe it, too.

Rey, this isn’t some stranger in a mask, some anonymous Sith badguy. This is your husband. The man who pulled you out of a hole in the desert, gave you everything you have and taught you everything you know.

“Kylo, I’m still wearing my ring, too. It’s on the end of this chain. We don’t have to die to be together. And if we leapt into the planet's core we wouldn’t take a mystical journey to freedom. We'd just die. You don’t have to either die, or give me to Snoke.”

“I don’t see how else I can get around it. Eventually. But I don’t have to take you to Snoke, right now. I can let you go. I can leave you with a guard you can use the Jedi mind trick on, and you can escape. For now. Later, I’ll find you, and smuggle you onto the Finalizer. I can bluff him, for awhile. Tell him you’re my apprentice. That you’re not ready to meet him.”

“What do I have to do, for these favors?” Rey fairly panted.

Those intensely sexual thoughts were plaguing her, again.

“Promise me that I will see you, again.” Kylo said.

“That’s all?”

She was disappointed.

Worse?

He was distracted.

He turned away from her, for some reason.

Thinking, probably.

“I really don’t think it would kill us. And it would be a release…” he muttered, dreamily.

There he went, off on one of his brooding, mystical flights of fantasy.

Rey knew they could last for hours, or days, and they had neither.

She fiddled with her clothes, so that he could see her wedding ring, on the chain.

However, she had to bare her breasts so he could see it.

“Kylo?”

He turned around.

“See? I’m still wearing my ring. Are you sure, Lord Vader, that there’s nothing else I have to do to gain your favor?”

He made that same face his father did when Han couldn’t believe his luck.

Kylo closed the blast shield on the door of the interrogation room.

“My Master told me about horny rebel sluts like you.”

“Really? What did Old Snoke have to say?”

“The Dark Side will twist you, boy. While you’re young and good looking, get all the women you can. Especially those Rebel Girls who like their men tall, dark and Imperial. I think, for once? It was good advice.”

He took off his cape, laid it on the floor, and lifted Rey off the gurney.

She put her arms around his neck.

“What did Master Luke say?”

“I don’t know. Something about chastity. I think I was distracted, at the time by the girl behind me thinking about how with lips like mine, I must give great head. I didn’t buy you these cheap leggings. Let’s do something about them.”

Kylo Ren got down on the floor with his wife, and ripped her leggings open at the seam between her legs.

Rey gasped.

“Be gentle with me, my Lord!”

“Hah! Not likely, Rebel scum! I know just the way you like it, my little wife, and it’s not gently! I’m not even going to take off my shiny black jackboots.”

“Can’t you take off your shirts, too? Please, Ben?”

“Whatever the lady desires. But promise me. No matter what? I will see you, again?”

“Yes. I promise.”

Kylo Ren took off his surcoat, his shirt, and his undershirt, talking to her, earnestly, as he undressed.

"Rey? Listen to me. Keep this in mind, while we make love. The power that reaches for you, the old Jedi Order? It is as totalitarian, as corrupt as the Sith who have enslaved me. But in a totalitarian state, sex is an act of rebellion. And love is revolutionary. Let me liberate you.”

He brought his mouth down on hers, hard and she pulled his big body down on hers, just as hard, tumbling them over and over on the floor.

Rey made a fist of her hand in his thick, dark hair and kissed him back, sucking on his tongue as he thrust it lewdly in and out of her mouth.

She threw her leg around him, impatiently rubbing her sex against his, still imprisoned in his pants.

He got up off of her, and Rey went for the high waisted pants' button fly, and released a purple-headed beast from the big man's pants.

Rey put her foot in the middle of his chest.

“Hold on, big man. You’re going to have to lick it before you stick it.” She told him.

“Whatever the lady desires…”

***

Rey knew she must have dozed off, because she woke up.

His Lordship was still asleep.

Rey woke him, gently.

“Ben? Kylo? Wake up.”

“Holy mother Force! You knocked me out! Where did you get that white Jedi nun suit, and when will you wear it, again?” Kylo Ren gasped.

“Maybe that was it. Maybe it was your uniform. You’re a warlord, and a killer, but you look too damn good in that farkling uniform! I should never have let you do that, Ben! Why did you encourage me?”

“Because I’m the badguy, Rebel Girl. The most Imperial Man in the Galaxy. That’s why you married me, remember?”

Rey sat up.

“That’s not the only reason I married you! I had no idea you really were the most Imperial Man in the Galaxy! And look what you did to my clothes! My underwear is in pieces all over the floor and you ripped the hell out of my leggings. I didn’t bring another pair.”

“I’ll stash you in my quarters and get you a new pair. Ours are much better. And there’s a hole in your boot. I’ll get you a new pair.”

They got to their feet, and Kylo put his shirt and surcoat back on. Here. Wrap yourself in my cape. And try to look like you’re afraid of me, while I’m marching you down the corridors.”

“I am a little afraid, Ben. First you had me strapped down, and you were giving me the third degree like we were strangers. You went through all your moods, at once. Raging Wookie, Brooding Mystic, Swashbuckling Scoundrel and Sexual Death Star. That’s a lot of moods in less than an hour. Even for you.”

***

Kylo locked Rey in while he went to get her another pair of leggings.

Also another pair of underwear.

He had torn those to shreds, too.

Kylo returned with two unopened packages.

Rey was still in his bed.

“You’re still here? I must have outdone myself. That’s the bathroom. That door. You can go in there and wash up. And these are unopened. The boyshorts have a First Order logo on them, but the desert leggings don’t.”

Rey picked up the unmarked desert boots.

“You can just give these out?”

“I’m Kylo Ren. I’m not beholden to anyone but Snoke. I can pretty much do whatever the fuck I want, when I’m not under his orders.”

“He gave you that much power?”

“No. I took it.”

“How?”

“When you get a reputation for making those who cross you walk a plank into space, people start to take you seriously. Especially these Old Imperials. Bloodthirsty, backstabbing, torture-happy sons of bitches. But you can put your new clothes on, later. Take the rest of those clothes off. You’re too hot to fuck with clothes on, Rebel Girl.”

He started to undress, completely.

“Again? Right now?” Rey asked.

She was trying not to sound excited about it.

Even though she was.

“I don’t know when or if I’ll ever see you again. I can’t waste this opportunity.”

“But we're here to blow this place up!” Rey protested.

She still got undressed.

In a hurry.

Kylo got back into bed.

“Then I’ll die hard. And we’ll go together. Nothing can distract me from how much I want you. And I can’t think of a better way to leave this rotten world.”

***

“Where the hell is Rey?” Finn insisted.

Chewie expressed his opinion on exactly where Rey was, and what was taking her so long.

“So? If I was him, I would. Twice.” Han defended his son.

He turned to Finn.

“It’s a family problem. You stay here. Chewie, detonate the explosive in fifteen minutes. Even if I’m not back.”

***

Han crept through the two-room quarters after he got the guard to let him in.

Without looking, he reached around the doorless entryway to the bedroom, grabbed the kid's lightsaber, jimmied the housing open and ripped a bunch of wires out.

Then he put it back.

“Hey, loverboy. Wake up and put your pants on. This place blows up in about a minute.”

The kid stopped snoring with a snort.

“What? Son of a bitch!”

Sure enough, he called for the lightsaber.

Rey skittered past him, doing up her belts.

Han stood in the doorway.

“You might as well point your dick at me, kiddo. At least you could piss down my leg. I don’t trust you, so I disabled your laser sword.”

The whole base was rocked by a massive explosion.

“You want to get dressed, or are you leaving like that?”

“I’m not leaving with you, Solo!”

“But you’re leaving. Unless you don’t like breathing.”

Ben swore.

He pushed a button on the wall.

“ZX4219? Get the crew together, get on the shuttle and rendezvous with the Finalizer. Now.”

“But, my Chieftain…”

“Zara. The Rebels are blowing the place up. Just do it!”

He pushed another button.

“Where are you, Chief? I don’t think that was the last explosion! We need to get the fark out of here!”

“I’ll be there, soon, Lieutenant. I need to locate Captain Skywalker. The Imperial Old Man is missing. Keep the engine running. Leave without me if you need to. That’s an order. Over and out.”

Kylo Ren pulled on his clothes.

Rey, now dressed, slipped past him, and he slipped the restraints onto her again.

“Take her. Take her and get out of here. Take her home. Not back to the Resistance base. Home. I gave you an out and I'm letting you go. Take her.”

His voice trembled.

The argument continued outside, with Ben carrying Rey out onto a catwalk and Han following him.

“Come with us, Ben. We miss you. Come home.”

“I can’t. It’s too late for me.”

“It’s not! Why do you want to stay? For Snoke? Do you think he’ll ever let you have power? He’s using you.”

“I intend to take it.”

“Sure. He’ll let you do that, too.”

Kylo swore.

He put Rey over his shoulder, and took off his mask, and dropped it.

She screamed.

“Don’t, Kylo! Don’t drop me!”

He held her close again, and scowled at his father.

“Look at me, Solo! Look into my eyes! It’s too late for me, but he wants Rey. I can’t let him have Rey. I’ll throw us both into this pit, rather than let him have her!”

“You won’t come with me?”

“No.”

“Fine. Then I’m staying with you. Finn? Come and get Rey. Take her back to the ship.”

Han took Rey from Kylo’s arms.

Finn ran down the catwalk, and took Rey from Han’s arms, and Han handed Finn the keys to the binders.

“Take Rey to the ship. Tell the General that I’m not joining the badguys. I’m staying to look after our son.”

Rey was fighting to get free, and yelling, but Finn ran with her, panting all the way.

“What are you talking about, Solo?”

“I’m staying. For good, now. Until it’s over. You intend to take power from Snoke? You’ll have to kill him. I’ll help. But right now? We should be thinking about escaping. Chewie is going to blow this pop stand sky high.”

“Sure. That little fart of an bomb you set off a few minutes ago…”

A terrible explosion rocked the catwalk, and both men had to hang on.

“Shit! That’s it! That’s done it! You really are going to blow the place to hell, with you and me both still on it! That was your last farkling mistake, Solo.”

“What are you gonna do, Vader Junior? Shove me over the side? If you try to throw me over? We both go. I’ve been frozen in carbonite. I can take it. What about you?” Han told him.

“You know how many old bastards like you I've killed?”

“None. Nobody's as big a bastard as me. But you're getting there, kid.”

The catwalk buckled.

“I have my blaster in my boot!”

“I’m wearing two blast proof vests.”

Kylo Ren jammed his mask back on, pushed a button on the catwalk, and both men indeed made a run for it.

“What am I going to tell Snoke?”

“Nothing, if you’re dead. If you live? We'll think of something. Let’s find your TIE Fighter, and get the fark out of here.”

***

Kylo and Han were in the TIE Fighter when Kylo saw Rey standing with Finn, among the trees.

They hugged, and Finn kissed her.

“Did that traitor just touch Rey's ass?” Kylo snapped.

“What the fark does he think he’s doing?” Han insisted.

“Son of a bitch! That traitorous farkling son of a bitch! Gimme that lightsaber!”

Han handed it to him.

“Don’t kill him. Just put him in a bacta tank, for awhile.”

Kylo took his lightsaber back from Han, opened the housing and fiddled with the wires.

“I’ll break every bone in his body!”

He hurled himself out of the hatch at the top.

“Yeah, I shouldn’t have given him the laser sword.” Han muttered.

He scrambled after him.

***

“Traitor!” Kylo screamed.

He ignited his lightsaber, and ripped it up the back of FN2187’s back, and then punched him in the face.

Finn collapsed.

Rey ignited Anakin Skywalker’s lightsaber.

“You Sith bastard! All I did was hug him!”

“Sure, I believe that! I saw you kiss him, and he had his hands on you, too! Let’s see if anyone wants to kiss you but me, after I burn a scar into your pretty face, you faithless Rebel whore!”

They battled back and forth, and at first, Kylo attacked Rey with terrible anger.

That anger began to fade when he realized Rey wasn’t fighting to defend herself, or to wound him.

She was trying to kill him.

He switched to a defensive fight.

But Rey’s fury only grew.

“Stop! You don’t know what you’re doing! You can’t beat me. I still have much to teach you.” he shouted.

“You showed me enough! I will kill you!” Rey howled.

They were at crossed sabres.

“Rey, this is madness! I don’t want to hurt you, stop fighting me! Go home, Rey. Not back to the Resistance. They’re no better than the First Order. Go back to our home. I’ll come to see you, there. Like I used to. Nothing is different. I still love you. Nothing has changed.”

“I’ve changed!”

She kept driving at him, and Kylo kept falling back.

He wouldn’t hurt her.

Even if it meant losing a hand.

But when he saw his grandfather’s lightsaber coming for his head?

He had the opportunity to cut Rey’s hand off, lightsaber and all.

He didn’t take it.

He only raised his lightsaber to deflect the blow as he felt Anakin’s lightsaber sear the flesh of his face, neck and chest.

Kylo fell back in the snow, and his lightsaber bounced away from him.

Rey held Anakin’s saber over her head, in both hands, like an axe.

It was a crude move, but it would kill him.

Kylo scuttled back.

“Kill me quickly. If it is the will of the Force, I accept it. I forgive you.” He told her.

“Then let the will of the Force be done!” she shouted.

“Whoa! Screw the will of the Force! Rey! Stop! Are you crazy?”

Han Solo had grabbed Kylo’s lightsaber, and he stood in front of his son, and blocked Rey’s killing blow.

The sabres sparked together.

“He’s not your son or my husband anymore!”

“Nerfshit! Fucking Jedi nerfshit at that! Ben, Kylo, whatever he calls himself, he’s still the same man! He was Kylo Ren the whole time you knew him. I knew it, did I try to kill him? His mother knows it, does she want him dead? Will of the Force, my ass! It’s the will of you being pissed off!”

“But he hurt Finn!”

“Finn shouldn’t have been trying to kiss his commanding officer’s wife. Get Finn back on the ship, and back to D’Qar.”

Rey suddenly realized what she had almost done.

She extinguished her lightsaber, and Han extinguished Kylo’s lightsaber.

Rey pushed past Han, and knelt beside Kylo Ren.

“Did you burn his face off? I can’t look.” Han said.

“Kylo! Your face! You killed Finn, and I destroyed your face!”

Han swore.

“Alright. I’ll look.”

Han knelt down beside Ben, too.

“Did Rey burn my face off?”

“Nah. She missed your eye, and your nose. You’ll have a scar on your face and your neck, maybe down to your chest. But you’re bleeding like a stuck nerf. That’s no good.’

“You see, Rey? I’ll have a scar. I have many. Maybe I didn’t kill your traitor buddy. I just fixed it so he won’t be feeling you up under the farkling moonlight, for awhile.”

“But I can’t just leave you here, bleeding in the snow!”

“I’m not alone. Solo’s with me. Just go, Rey. Please. I don’t want Snoke to get you.”

“You’re a no good son of a bitch, Kylo Skywalker, Ben Solo! A Sith warlord and a mercenary, not to mention a killer, a thief, and a pirate! But other than the Sith warlord part, that’s the man I married, for better or for worse. There’s still good in you, I know. And I’m going to fight for it. I’ll free you from the Dark Side, or kill you, trying.” Rey vowed.

“Aren’t you supposed to die trying?”

“Me? Fark no! You’re the Sith!”

“I’m not a Sith, Rey. I’m a slave to the Sith. A prisoner of the black sleep of the Dark Side. They did the same thing to me as your friend, FN2187. Sought me out when I was a child. Stole me from my family. Told me a bunch of pretty lies, only to enslave me with torture and brainwashing to a destiny I never asked for that I don’t really understand. I’m glad you believe there’s good in me. That I might be free. I only want to live long enough to see the past die, to watch it burn, knowing that I set the fire, before the flames consume me.”

“That’s pretty goddamn dark, kid.”

“You had the chance to save me, Solo. You blew it.”

“I’m taking another chance, now.”

Rey wiped the tears from her eyes and stood up.

“I can save you from that fate, Kylo. Because I love you. And if I’m not as strong in the Force as you are? I’ll learn.”

She ran for the Falcon.

Kylo got his breath as Han helped him to his feet.

“It burns! My face, and my neck, and my chest! I feel like I’m on fire! I hate lightsaber wounds! They never stop burning!” Ben exclaimed.

Han got some snow, and packed it down Kylo's tunic, then against his face.

“More snow?” he asked.

“No. That helped. She’s safe. From Snoke. But you and me, Solo? We might be farkled. For one thing? I can’t fly like this.”

“I can fly a TIE. I was an Imperial pilot, remember?”

They watched the Falcon go.

Kylo touched his father’s face.

“Don’t be scared. I’m using the Force to make your hair and beard grow out. No more wigs and false beards.”

“Sounds good. And I wasn’t around, before because I was doing time in Arkanis Territorial. For that Crimson Dawn thing. Except instead of us looting the empty ship and blowing up the dock, we’ll make it full of Crimson Dawn guys.”

Han kept talking as he helped Ben get into the TIE Fighter.

“How about the way those Crimson Dawn guys scattered when they saw Kylo Ren?”

“Yeah. That was a really big score. Solo? I’m in trouble. There’s blood in both my eyes. I can’t see at all.”

Han got in the pilot’s seat, pushed the button for the hatch and opened the compartment under the dashboard.

The First Aid kit was still there.

Han opened it, wiped Ben’s face off with a piece of gauze, put a few clips on his long wound and stuck dressings to it.

“That should hold you, until we get you back to your ship.”

Han looked in the top mirror.

“Holy shit! My hair’s down to my shoulders. And my beard is down to the middle of my chest! And this goddamn moustache is ridiculous.”

Han grabbed a couple hair ties, pulled most of his hair back in a ponytail and quickly braided his beard.

“Chewie would hardly know me, like this. But I’ll still wear the eyepatch too. Just in case.”

He got Artemis Skywalker’s eyepatch out of his pocket and put it on.

“She was worried about me. She still loves me. When she lifted the lightsaber over her head? I saw she had her wedding ring on a chain around her neck.”

“I think she still loves you, kid. I’ll bet Rey's glad I didn’t let her kill you. Not that it was the first time, today that you saw where her ring was.”

“It was all her idea. I mean, she knew the whole place was going to blow, and she still wanted me. Twice.”

“Did Rey tell you we were blowing up the base.”

“She did. But I figured, fuck it. If I can’t die with my boots on with my blaster in one hand and my lightsaber in the other? Might as well die, hard.”

“You didn’t learn that kind of thinking from the Jedi, or the Sith.”

They blasted off.

Han stopped the TIE for a minute, just to watch the explosion.

It ended their jocular, locker room mood.

“Did you feel that? It’s a dark day, Dad. My side blew up Hosnian Prime. Mom’s side blew up Starkiller Base. Both sides will claim victory. But millions of people’s lives have been snuffed out. For no reason. That’s not victory. It’s insanity. This whole war, this whole thing? It’s madness. The Jedi, the Sith, the Dark, the Light? The Empire, the Resistance? Do you think that would matter to any of the people who died today? I’m going to stop it. All of it. It has to end.”

“I can agree with that, Ben. That’s gotta be the smartest thing I ever heard a Skywalker say. That’s only because you’re a Solo, too, kid. You got a plan, Vader junior?”

“Of course I have a farkling plan! First, I have to live long enough to kill Snoke.”

“You will.”

The radio crackled to life.

“Lord Ren, this is General Hux. Why aren’t you flying your TIE Fighter? Please answer.”

“I’ve been wounded. Are you on the bridge?”

“No. This is a private call.”

“Then why are you being so formal?”

“Because I don’t know who is flying your TIE.”

“It’s not Mrs. Young Lord Vader. I took a hit in the face, neck and chest with a lightsaber.”

“By who? Luke Skywalker?”

“No. My estranged and enraged wife. I couldn’t fight back, properly. I didn’t want to hurt her. My father, is flying my TIE Fighter. He just saved my life.”

“What about your wife?”

“She took advantage of me, twice, nearly killed me with the lightsaber I gave her, and went back to the Resistance. But she’ll be back.”

“Is that how you lost Starkiller Base? Too busy making it up with your Rebel wife?”

“My wife is worth ten jumped-up Death Stars. To me, and to the Galaxy.”

“Is that what you will tell the Supreme Leader? It’s shoddy, and weak, and it makes you sound like a child in a fancy-dress mask who’s more concerned with getting his end off than the responsibilities of his office.”

“Yeah, that’s Vader junior in a nutshell. His mask and shoes are polished, you can see your face in them, and so can the troopers in his command crew, most of which are women under those masks.” Han interrupted.

“In a totalitarian society, sex is an act of revolution.” Ben sniffed.

“Kid, you don’t need to give me an excuse. I know about you and your Force Fuck Cult of Action Girls thing. I’m sure it’s nice for you that you finally made it happen. And I'm sure it’s nice for the women, too. But you have to come up with a better excuse than that crazy shit!”

“You just don’t understand anything that has any philosophy or mystery or mysticism to it, do you, Solo? I am trying to bind people to me with love and trust and loyalty, not fear!”

“But you don’t do it with the guys, do you?”

“If I was gay, or bi, I would!”

“You’re proving that Hux and I are right and you’re full of it, Vader junior. Keep talking.”

“What do you want me to tell Snoke? Well, my Master, I was busy getting laid and I was more concerned with my Rebel wife’s hot pussy than your miserable military nerfshit?” Ben snapped.

Han laughed at that.

“Hey, don’t knock it, kid. Why do you think you’re here?”

“Don’t remind me. You have a button missing on your pants. I guess Mom has it. You guys are worse than me and Rey, and you’ve been married for decades!”

“We’ll have to think of something better for you to tell Snoke. What about Millicent? Please tell me you remembered the cat.” Hux interrupted.

“I’m sitting on her carrier. She’s fine. Clean the goddamn litter box, and you’re going to have to feed the cat for awhile.”

“I always feed the cat! Are we going to have your father living in the suite now, too? I wish you would have moved your wife in, instead.”

“Watch what you say about my wife, Armi.”

“You have all the luck with women, Kylo. Do you think Mrs. Skywalker has any Rebel Girl friends who like the Imperial Act?”

“Try all of them. What you need, Hux, is to wear a flight suit. Even if you can’t fly. Rebel chicks love flyboys. And Imperial flyboys? You’ll get lucky. No doubt about it.” Han snorted.

“Solo! You should not say things like that about women! It’s disrespectful!”

“What’s disrespectful about your pal Hux and some brave Rebel fighters getting what they want and having a little fun before we all die, horribly? Isn’t that what you mean when you say that in a totalitarian state, sex is rebellion and love is revolutionary?” Han retorted.

“Not really, Solo.”

Hux interrupted, again.

“So, Kylo, where did this father of yours spring from, this time.”

“Good choice of words. He’s just been sprung from Arkanis Territorial. For that Crimson Dawn affair. I sent for him, to be my guardsman. Now on a permanent basis. He was an Imperial pilot, he knows how to fly a TIE.”

“These new ones are a little different. But not too much. I need coordinates for the Finalizer, and you’d better have a medic ready on the landing bay. It’s not a deep wound, but your Lord and Master is losing a lot of blood. If he needs a donation, you can have some of mine.” Han added.

“Who’s Kylo’s mother?” Hux asked.

“You Darkstars, you think you have a right to know everything. Nosy farkling Arkanian.” Han retorted.

“How did you know my mother was a Darkstar?”

“I know all about you, Hux. One Arkanian to another. She was a savage clan chieftain's savage daughter. But from the Tattoine clans.”

“I see. You realise I know exactly who you are, Solo, who Kylo is, who his mother is, and who his grandfather is?”

“I know. So, is this nerfshit convincing?”

“Very. You’re as convincing a nerfshit artist and a liar as your son is. I will arrange everything. I am sending the coordinates to your computer. You have priority clearance, Captain Skywalker. Over and out.”

Kylo turned to look at his father.

“You think we can pull this off, Solo?”

“You can just kill anybody who recognizes me, right?”

Ben laughed, and spit blood out of his mouth.

“Sure, when I can see! Rey might have killed me, after all. I’m bleeding halfway down my chest! If I have to be in a bacta tank? Don’t leave me alone. The First Order promotion system is a lot like the Empire. It runs of backstabbing. Some of it, literal.”

“I know that, kid. I used to be in this outfit. I won’t let anyone get to you. And if a bunch of them try? You'll have less enemies.”

“That’s been the first step of my plan. To weed out anyone on the Finalizer who isn’t loyal to me, and replace them with officers, troopers and crew who are. Don’t kill the assassin’s. Have them arrested. After I’m well, I'll gather everyone on the flight deck, and make the traitors walk the plank into space.”

“You’re a real ruthless pirate bastard, kid. Here we go.”

***

Rey sat on the bunk, in the little room on the Falcon.

She was going to sew the rip in her leggings, then wash them by hand.

A little further down the leg from the rip, there was a crusty white stain.

Rey picked at it, with her fingernail.

It seemed like quite a lot.

She went to clean it off, with some water from the glass beside her when a sob escaped her throat.

So, I found him again.

My long lost good looking bastard of a flyboy, today.

My beloved husband, to whom I owe, oh, everything.

He’s the one.

I knew when I met him on Jakku.

It’s only that I know now, I’ll never be able to leave him.

Lucky me, he’s tall, and handsome, as big as a Wookie and hung like one, and he’s one hell of a good fuck.

Maybe the best fuck in the Galaxy.

He should be, he’s the baddest badguy in the Galaxy.

No man in the Galaxy is more Imperial than him.

Unlucky me, he’s Kylo fucking Ren, the murderous mystic and Sith warlord the Resistance is sworn to defeat.

But he’s also Ben.

Ben Solo.

And Kylo Skywalker, the Arkanian.

And a Wookiee named Kallaurra, who’s first language was Shriiyywook.

And who else, who knows, my boy Ben is a whole bunch of guys.

But even so?

Ben was a gentleman.

He took me to his quarters, apologized, after, for ruining my leggings, after he locked me in the room and came back with some wet towels and some dry ones.

Told me he wasn’t sure if my implant was still working, that was why he pulled out.

Ben offered me a pair of First Order uniform pants; I declined.

But I did take the pair of knickers and the new leggings.

I’ve never worn knickers, before; these First Order ones are a very high grade of cotton, they are quite comfy, very nice.

And I think these desert leggings are waterproof and rip-resistant.

Ben knew I needed his darkness; he said he needed my light.

So, later, we almost killed each other with lightsabers.

I gave him a nasty scar for being an Imperial bastard and hurting Finn.

Han stopped me from killing him.

But Kylo asked me to be his student; he wanted to teach me the ways of the Force.

He knows what’s between us, and so do I.

He’s my man, I’m his woman, and we belong to each other.

That’s why he couldn’t understand why I called him a monster.

Couldn’t understand why I left him bleeding in the snow.

The look on his face, I’ll never forget it.

He was a hell of a fighter.

Better than me; he was trying not to kill me.

A hell of a lover, too.

He’s the one, he’s your man, you’re his woman, your beloved husband, who’s given you all you have, all he has, and all he’s ever going to have. Not to mention his love, his trust, and his friendship. He’s been your benefactor and your teacher, too. He’s looked after you, and given you something like a life. A life with him. A home. And you tried to kill him, and left him broken-hearted and bleeding in the snow.

Because he’s also a monster.

Yes, Little Rebel Girl, you’ve had a big day.

Rey crumpled her leggings into a ball, threw them aside, and since nobody could see her doing it?

She cried.

#tros fix it #reylo #han solo lives #ben solo redemption #reylo star wars au #reylo daily

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revisitingstoneybrook · 3 years

Text

#6 Kristy’s Big Day: Chapter 2

Ann Martin really knows nothing about planning weddings.

Here's where our typical BSC spin on things starts up. So on Saturday, they picked a date for the wedding, Kristy's going to be a bridesmaid, and the icing on the cake is Elizabeth told Kristy she could wear heels with her dress. Yay! But then, on Wednesday, things fall apart. Uh oh! Does Watson the Millionaire miss all the kinky shit and want to get back with Lisa?

Kristy comes home from school to find Elizabeth there. She glumly tells Kristy that her company (one of the many ad agencies that BSC parents work for) wants to send her on a business trip to Europe. Kristy immediately starts begging for Elizabeth to take her along and Elizabeth says she'd love to but can't, as it's during the school year. Patience, Kristy. Your time will come.

And no, Elizabeth isn't leaving right away. She's leaving come September, you know, when Kristy starts 8th grade for the first of 68 times. And she’s supposed to be in Vienna on the day she was planning on getting married. Well, Watson's a millionaire. Bring the whole family to Vienna and do a destination wedding! Only, since this is the BSC, they'd have to invite the entire club.

Kristy tells her to just push the wedding back a month and Elizabeth said she was planning on doing that, until she got a phone call at work. It was her realtor, who's already found a buyer for their house, two days after it was put on the market. Um, what? That seems really, really fast. Then again, the house is in a primo location. You're right in one of the hottest BSC neighborhoods! Childcare for next to nothing! Yes, the BSC affects the housing market in Stoneybrook.

Great news, right? Well, not really. The family (we later learn it’s the infamous Perfect Perkinses) is in a rush and willing to pay the asking price. But Mr. Perkins is in such a rush, he wants to move in by July 15th. That's in about one month. Ok, what the hell. Is it that realistic to close on a house that quickly? With contracts and the bank’s approval and all the inspections and re-inspections? Then again, this is the Perkins family buying it. The purchase will go off without a hitch. Myriah's probably their lawyer.

Kristy, needless to say, is shocked and must agree with me because she tells Elizabeth it'll be impossible to pull off. Well, with the Perkins family, you never know. Those girls are magical. Kristy wants her mom to sell the house to someone else and Elizabeth says no one else is going to offer them as much money as the Perkinses are. “Well, what do we need money for? You're marrying Watson,” is Kristy's response. Geez, first Watson the Millionaire is a jerk, now he's a Sugar Daddy? And no, not this Sugar Daddy.

Sorry, Claudia.

Elizabeth explains to Kristy that she doesn't want Watson the Millionaire to feel obligated to have to pay for things like her children's college tuition. So the money (or half of it, since half belongs to her deadbeat ex Patrick) is going towards college. What does this have to do with the wedding? Elizabeth and Watson the Millionaire are getting married at the end of June and the Thomases are moving into the MANSION two weeks after that.

Holy shit. Planning a wedding in TWO WEEKS?! I mean, if they were going for a little thing like Sharon and Richard later do, maybe. But they're obviously not. How will they get vendors and stuff on such short notice? Are they going to get the neighbors to bring flowers? Because only Ramona Quimby's aunt could get away with that.

And why must the wedding be now? Why can't they just move into the MANSION and have the wedding in October and not spend two weeks freaking out about everything? If they have issues about living together before the wedding, live in separate wings. Lord knows the MANSION's big enough, if Kristy's talking about her brothers getting suites of rooms if they ask nicely. Just stay away from the third floor so Karen doesn't go nuts. Or if they have to get married now, have a small ceremony at city hall and go for a big ceremony and reception after Elizabeth comes back from Europe. Why am I so perplexed over a BSC book?

David Michael comes home from school as Elizabeth gets a phone call from a friend of hers and tells her friend that the wedding will be in two and a half weeks. As soon as Elizabeth hangs up, she freaks the fuck out when she realizes what she's gotten herself into. David Michael, fascinated and at the same time terrified, holds Kristy's hand and watches their mom go nuts over what to do about flowers, dresses (she says they need to find a dressmaker...wouldn't buying off-the-rack and having it altered be easier?), food. I guess invitations are out the window because she says she'll have to tell relatives about it.

“Planning a wedding is like having a baby. You need time to prePARE things!” Uh, Elizabeth, you just realized this now? Oh and their guest list is around 300 people. Planning a wedding for 300 people in two and a half weeks. Is Elizabeth INSANE?!

Finding some grasp on reality, Elizabeth admits that they'll never be able to book a reception hall, so the mansion’s yard will be the venue. While she freaks out over decorations and what to do if it rains, Kristy suggests she call Watson the Millionaire, while Elizabeth tells herself she'll call Watson the Millionaire. She disappears into her bedroom (ooooooooooooooooh) and comes back later, looking somewhat saner. But it doesn't last long because she opens up a kitchen cabinet and starts sorting pots and pans out. Oh my...planning a wedding AND packing up a whole house to move at the same time.

David Michael launches into one of his talents, whining, and Kristy joins in too. I always liked Kristy's line about David Michael is a champion whiner because he can turn one-syllable words into multi-syllabic words. Well both kids don't want to...oh wait. Let me rephrase. They don't wanna move. They wanna stay he-ere.

Elizabeth shoots them a Look (now we see where Kristy gets it from) and David Michael gives her a quick apology before running out of the kitchen with Louie. Kristy, being as stubborn as she is, argues with her mom about how she promised they wouldn't move until the fall. Uh, Kristy, she never promised anything. She just said the wedding would be in September and wasn't expecting these two bombs to drop on them. Kristy says she doesn't want to spend this summer at Watson's and Elizabeth points out she'll be spending the next summer at Watson's. And the one after that and the one after that. And guess what...you'll be 13 throughout all of them, Kristy!

But Kristy wants one last summer on Bradford Court with the BSC and Mary Anne (that's the same thing!) and...Jamie Newton (um, ok) and the Pikes (except Mallory...and don't the Pikes live on Slate Street?). Elizabeth apologizes but tells her this is how things have to be now. Upset, Kristy storms upstairs to her room. Might I add, bonus points to Ann Martin for actually having Kristy act like a 13-year-old here and not some strange tween/adult hybrid.

Up in her room, Kristy stares out the window that looks into Mary Anne's bedroom. She isn't there, she's out babysitting Jenny Prezzioso (because no one else in the BSC will...bitches) and Kristy's glad for that so she can just think things over. You know if she told Mary Anne the news she just got, she'd cry so much her room would fill up with tears and overflow into Kristy's, like when Pearl cries on Spongebob.

Kristy waxes nostalgic on the good and bad that happened at those windows. Their infamous flashlight code they had to develop because Richard wouldn't let Mary Anne use the phone (now he lets her talk on the phone like a normal person, according to Kristy), giving each other the silent treatment by pulling the shade down, sailing paper airplane messages back and forth. While she thinks about picking out a similar room at the mansion and decorating it the same way as her current room, Elizabeth calls her down to help her with planning this extravagant wedding in two and a half weeks. She wants her to write down the names she calls out from their address book. Kristy also notices the pots and pans have been put away. Packing's waiting until later.

Well what do you know...most of the guests are from out of state and a lot of them have kids. Hello foreshadowing! And hey, you guys. Kristy says weddings are hard to plan! Thank you for stating the obvious, Kristy.

#babysitters club #kristy's big day #kristy thomas #bsc #snark

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