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updownlately · 6 months

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as long as i’m here (no one can hurt you)

| alessia x reader | hurt/comfort | 3.1k | disclaimer: mentions of anxiety & self loathing -this gets dark so please read at your own discretion! | a/n: based of this req! initially was supposed to be really fluffy but then somehow it just became 2/3 angst soooo welp. honestly it started off really strong imo but idk what happened towards the end, but oh well. not proofread as usual. anyways, take care amigos, happy reading!

~~~

Your heart’s in your throat and you don’t know how it got there.

Your heart’s in your throat and the world around you’s dark.

Your heart’s in your throat and you don’t know where you are.

All you know is you’ve gotta go- you’ve gotta go fast- because if you stay any longer, the voices are going to catch up.

They’re going to catch up and they’re going to tell you- no scratch that- they’re going to remind- they’re going to remind you that aren’t good enough.

They’re going to remind you that there’s better, that there always will be someone smarter, more athletic, more confident, more outgoing, more fun.

They’re going to remind you that none of this is real- convince you that everything is just fake. That you’ve lost your mind enough to devise your own reality, where nothing exists yet everything is perfect.

They’re going to remind you that you aren’t worthy. That you’ve fluked your way through life- everything gifted to you, everything undeserved.

It’s the way it always goes. You running and running and running, only stopping either when the voices catch up or when you wake up, and if you were honest, you don’t know which one you prefer.

It’s not that you’d be dead, nor is it that you didn’t want to be alive.

It’s that you don’t know how you could explain to the sleeping girl beside you that even with every second you lay asleep, the voices in your head don’t cease.

That each time she comforts you as you wake, shirt damp with sweat, shuddering breath escaping your lips, the words get louder in your mind.

And with each circle rubbed into your back, or reassuring word mumbled against your tangled hair, you think about how she could do better, better than you, better than this mess of troubling dreams, this mess of tangled voices, nonexistent but real to you, shouting, screaming, yelling, reminding you, telling you, letting you know.

You aren’t good enough, nor will you ever be.

She deserves better, better than you.

You’re a fraud, a fake, a phony.

The words repeat and repeat and repeat.

~~~

It’s the third time this week, and it’s only Wednesday, that you wake up, heart racing, palms sweating as you try and regulate your uneven breaths.

It’s new to you, this whole nightmare thing.

You’d even go as far as to call yourself a lucky child, able to count on one hand how many nightmares you had when you were younger.

Now? Now though, it’s a miracle if you sleep through the night.

You don’t know when it started- maybe sometime between the middle of last season and its end- when all you saw attached to your name was negative chatter.

Flooding comments on social media calling you unreliable, unworthy, unneeded for your team.

Offhand remarks of how you could’ve played better, could’ve done more, didn’t deserve a starting position, maybe would be better as a late sub, for the sake of the team.

Maybe it was when you spent countless hours post practices perfecting your free kicks and running shots, only to be told to not take them as much, the dismissing tone in your coach’s voice clear, disapproval clear in their eyes.

Words said and said and said, their intent to hurt, to prick, to wound successful.

It was those words that rang out in your dreams, among the thousands of other outcries you were used to having directed your way.

You thought you could take it, firmly believed so.

You were a professional athlete for fuck’s sake, a little bit of verbal battering was nothing you couldn’t handle, right?

At least that’s what you told yourself each time you woke up in cold sweat, mind exhausted, heart tired as you tried to remind yourself those opinions weren’t facts.

As usual, it led you to now.

Now being you stiffly lying on your side of the bed, the room bathed in darkness, only the sound of Alessia’s soft snores to be heard.

Swallowing hard, you shuddered as fragments of your latest nightmare floated through your mind.

This one was different from the usual.

This one might have even been the worst.

The nightmare had started off as they typically do, the realistic image of the team’s pitch clear in your mind.

It seemed to be a replay of a normal game day.

Arsenal dressed in their bright red jerseys, your opponents in a shade of blur, all the same but unidentifiable- not like it mattered much anyways- you didn’t need much convincing to feel how real it seemed.

It felt like a normal game day, but you saw yourself in third person, following yourself on the pitch like a drone, able to see each mistake you made so sharply, so distinctly.

You watched in horror as you tripped over your feet. Your heart dropped as you passed the ball directly to the other team. You’re nearly in tears watching as each tackle you made either did nothing or nearly took out the opposing player.

You looked on in fear as the crowd begged for you to be subbed off.

Your own home crowd, cheering any time you lost the ball, any time you slipped and fell, any time you erred.

As much as it hurt each time the dream played out, this was normal to you.

You were used to this.

Used to the sinking feeling in your stomach. The flips it would do as you felt your heart break, the realization that maybe you just didn’t matter, the thought that you didn’t need to exist floating through your mind as your throat closed up.

The sinking feeling as you realized you were unwanted was nothing new.

The knowledge that you just weren’t good enough was basically a mantra ingrained in your mind.

So even though it hurt as if it was new each time, you were used to it.

This was normal, no matter how many times it occurred, night in night out, it had become a part of you.

What wasn’t normal though, was how the game faded away slowly for once, a new environment blurring into your vision, the once typical dream changing drastically.

You tried to shake your head in your mind, very much disoriented at the unfamiliar setting.

You weren’t at the field anymore. The green grass you were always so used to seeing, the one that haunted you now in real life, gone within seconds.

Instead, in its place, was a dark atmosphere, bright lights flashing occasionally as you felt vibrations hum through you rhythmically.

Hearing laughter coming from your left, you whipped your head to the side.

Mere metres away from you stood the rest of your team, all dressed to enjoy a night out, drinks cradled in their hands.

You were at a club.

Chest constricting as you watched the girls peer over at you, then laugh, you felt your face flush, embarrassment seizing your ability to breathe.

Quickly turning around, you searched for Alessia.

Alessia usually made the anxiety go away.

Alessia was safe.

Alessia.

You needed to find her.

Pushing your way through the mass of crowded, faceless bodies crammed in front of you, you tried to look for the blonde.

The further you went though, the smaller you seemed to get.

With each step you were taking, the room seemed to grow in size, the people around you taller, peering judgmentally at you as you pushed through, the faceless partygoers somehow displaying a clear emotion of distaste at your presence.

You could feel your heart beat faster with each second.

Too many people.

You needed to find Alessia.

Too many people.

You couldn’t breathe.

Too many people.

Alessia.

Continuing to push through the mass, air getting harder and harder to breathe, you closed your eyes, blindly moving forward.

Squeezing your way past the final few bodies, you felt yourself stumble as you came across a hallway, the door at the end of it bathed in a dim glow.

Maybe she was there?

Unable to stop yourself, your mind pleading for you to do so but frozen, your feet carried you towards the light.

You wanted to find Alessia.

You needed her right now, and you’d do whatever it took.

Hands shaking at the uneasy feeling in your stomach, you approached the door, fingers reaching out to rest on the door.

Surely Alessia had to be here, right?

You’d soon get your comfort…

Letting out a shaky breath at the thought of finally being okay soon, in the presence of Alessia, you pushed the door open, ready to feel okay, only for your eyes to widen as you felt a lump form in your throat.

No, surely not. No…no…no…

Frozen in your spot, you stared, white as ghost, at the sight in front of you.

There, in the dark room ahead, was Alessia.

Except she wasn’t alone.

Eyes flitting between the blonde and the faceless body in her arms, you felt your world crash.

There she was, your girlfriend, your Alessia, arms wrapped around another person that wasn’t you.

Another person that had their body pressed against hers in a way that was most definitely not friendly, not platonic in the least.

In front of you stood the two, hair dishevelled, their eyes as wide as yours, mouths agape as they realized they’d been caught.

In front of you stood your Alessia, in the arms of another, as you finally felt the ground slip away from beneath you.

~~~

You knew it was just a dream.

You knew she wouldn’t cheat on you.

You knew it.

You believed it.

You felt it, each and every day that she loved you.

Yet, in this moment, darkness bathing you as the silence stretched on, the sinking feeling in your stomach and the way your heart still hadn’t stopped aching since you’d woken up told you otherwise.

Furiously wiping the tears that had fallen from your eyes, you tried to do your best not to sniffle, lest you wake your girlfriend up.

You already had a dream about her cheating- you didn’t want to go and make your night worse by waking her when she so desperately needed her rest.

Doing your best to take deep breaths, you tried to regulate your shaky breathing.

Slowly inhaling and exhaling, you paid keen attention to how much noise you were making with each gasp.

You needed to be quiet- had to be quiet.

She couldn’t see you like this.

No, you wouldn’t let her.

Taking a chance, you slowly turned your head to the side, eyes tracing the faint outline of the striker’s face as you wiped another round of tears on your hands.

Every single fibre in you wanted so desperately to reach out, to be in her hold, to let her soft murmur comfort you like countless times before.

But you couldn’t.

You’d get through this night eventually.

Closing your eyes in frustration at the impending headache you knew was coming, you pressed the heel of your palms harshly to your eyes.

You’d be okay. You’d be okay. You’d be okay.

Repeating the words to yourself, you whined in frustration, unable to find yourself to believe the words.

It was only when your eyes stung due to brute force did you realize what you had just done, freezing as you heard shuffling beside you.

Holding your breath, you felt Alessia’s arm reach out blindly towards you, sleepily patting around, trying to find your body, her even in her sleep ready to take care of you.

You couldn’t have her wake up for you, not again. Not when it’s been multiple nights of her waking up, holding you till the dawn breaks, treating you ever so carefully, so delicately,

Letting go of the breath you were holding as you heard the movement stop, you closed your eyes as more tears of frustration escaped.

How many times- how many fucking times were you going to wake up each night? Why, why for the love of god, could your mind not be normal?

Flexing your jaw as you tried to force your emotions away, you didn’t see the way Alessia sleepily awoke from beside you.

Mind preoccupied by not waking up the Gunner, you didn’t realize that she had long since been awake, trying to give you the time to collect yourself like she knew you wanted.

In all honesty, the blonde had been up before you had been.

Recent days had oddly trained her to sleep a bit lighter. The combined with hearing your mumbling during your dreams had easily woken her up.

She’d let you be though, well aware that you hated that she woke up each time.

So she laid in silence, doing her best to continue her sleepy state, hoping that the night didn’t get too horrible, that she didn’t have to step in, for your sake.

She stayed awake though, lethargically alert, ready to jump in if needed.

Throat tightening up when she heard your sniffles, the furious movement of your hands as you wiped your tears away quietly pulling at her heart strings, the blonde quietly laid there as you dealt with the storm in your mind.

A stalemate of sorts, an inevitable cycle of hurt.

Slowly but surely though, your sniffles died down, movement slowing as you calmed, initial stabbing pain at the nightmare slowing until it became a dull ache.

It’s then that Alessia chose to take her chances, knowing you were easier to talk to after you had ridden your wave of emotions.

“You think you’re hurting me each time you wake me up, but I don’t think you realize how much it pains me to see you like this…”

The words a near whisper into the darkness, Alessia waited a beat before slowly turning to face you, head resting on her arm as she faced you.

Please let me help you.

The plea went unsaid.

Continuing, the whispered words brought on another round of damp eyes.

“You think you’re protecting me, but if it’s just hurting you more and I care for you, are you really succeeding?”

Let me be there to comfort you.

Feeling her heart start to pound at your silence, Alessia wondered if you’d fallen asleep.

Raising her head to try and decipher whether you were awake, she waited as a beat passed, and then another, both without an inch of movement from you.

Shaking her head at the cruel timing between her speaking and your presumably sleeping state, the blonde opened her mouth to sigh, only to be cut off by your timid voice.

“I hate it enough that I have to go through this…it’s not fair to make you go through it too…”

The shaky admission had the blonde’s breath catching in her throat.

She never once felt forced to be there for you. Never.

The fact that being a burden to her had you holding back so significantly pained her to hear.

If the constricting of her heart at your quiet sobs had hurt, then the admission nearly felt like being stabbed.

You weren’t a burden- not to her. Not now, not ever. She just needed to make sure you knew that. Believed it.

“You’re not making me go through anything. I want to be there for you. I want to be able to hold you through the good nights and the bad. Especially the bad. You aren’t a burden to me…”

Swallowing lightly at the prolonged silence that followed her words, Alessia continued, shuffling closer to you until she was nearly pressed up against your side, only a sliver of space between the two of you.

“You make it seem like me loving you is a burden. That I can love you only when you’re perfect...when you’ve got it all together and don’t need a shoulder to cry on.

I don’t want that though. I don’t want to love you when you’re pristine. I want to love you when the days are dark and it’s raining so hard that you’re confined inside. I want to love you when it’s four pm and you didn’t sleep the night before and you’re grumpy because your coffee’s too cold. I want to love you when you can’t remember what it’s like to be loved. When it’s nearly three am and you’re having a nightmare and you don’t know who to turn to. That’s when I want to love you- when you need it most.”

A silence blanketed the room at the end of Alessia’s admission, only the quiet hum of the electrical wiring to be heard.

Feeling her cheeks heat up but not finding it in herself to care- to be embarrassed- the blonde took her chances.

Slowly letting her arm come to wrap around your midsection, she pulled you close.

With you still laid on your back, the side of your torso pressed up against the striker’s front, your hands gently intertwined as she found where it rested under the sheets, she continued.

“Not waking me won’t do either of us good. Yes, you could deal with it on your own, but you don’t have to, okay? I want to be there for you. I want to hold you when things get tough. I want to love you. You just need to let me do that…”

Feeling you nod in response, she moved to place a gentle kiss on your forehead.

Moving to lay on her back as she felt you turn towards her, the Gunner opened her arms in an easy welcome, gathering you in her embrace as you sank into her comfort.

Whispering a quiet ‘thank you’ at your understanding, she wondered out loud if you wanted to talk about it.

A quiet but firm ‘no’ escaping your lips, she nodded her head in understanding as ran her hand through your hair.

If you didn’t want to talk, so be it- as long as you let her love you, take care of you, hold you, it didn’t matter.

As long as you felt loved, because you very much were if Alessia had anything to say about it.

Hands coming to wrap strongly around you, you sighing contently at the warmth as you felt the tiredness of the past hour catch up with you, the pair of you drifted off into a dreamless sleep, Alessia’s last tiredly whispered sentence ringing reassuringly, protectively in your mind as the tension in your shoulder eased.

"It's easy to love you on your good days, but I want to love you on your worst. On the days you don't believe in love and don't think you deserve it, it's when I want to love you most. 'Cause I'll love you through all of them, now and forever, if you let me."

'If I could change the way that you see yourself, you wouldn’t wonder why you hear ‘they don’t deserve you'"

#this one gets dark- sorry guys #not proofread because we don't do that here #alessia russo #alessia russo x reader #alessia russo imagine #woso fanfics #woso one shot #woso imagine #woso x reader #woso community #woso #my writing #fic req #hurt/comfort #fic #alaih

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beatcroc · 2 months

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a year!!! as of today i have now been drawing these funny little pizza freaks, to the exclusion of almost everything else, for!!! an entire year!!! i wanted to do a nice group shot/lineup of everybody to compare to when i first started trying to draw them because oh boy were they bad. i never even posted most of them anywhere because they were so bad. but im posting them here, now, to see how everything's changed/evolved.

this is probably the hardest time i've ever had trying to figure out how to work with a style, but we got there eventually; i'm pretty happy with the handle i've got on everybody now...dont let ur memes be dreams. lots of unimportant journaling and idle thoughts abt it below.

older pics

the first one is the VERY first time i drew them, before i thought i was going to actually have any interest in drawing them [lmao]; it was just the one isolated image, for my friendserver, to illustrate the funney message, so there was no attempt to make it Good or actually understand anything going on w/ the designs or style.

second is the original run of practices sketches to start trying to figure them out for real; done after i started having ideas for the comics and such and realized oh god maybe i am actually gonna draw fanart for this. [again, lol, and lmao.]

third one is the first pt art thing i posted on here. there were a couple weeks of sprite studies between this one and the previous image. the one on the top right wasn't part of that post i just threw it on as space filler; i'd intended to shift to doing Sprite Redraws But Stylized to explore tings more, but that was the only one i did. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

individual characters

peppino: by far the hardest dear god. bro what ARE your shapes how DOES your face work. jesus christ. everything i have trouble with this style for, peppino has it in excess. i draw in polygons! i need consistency! and that is the last thing this kind of style is concerned with. they are made of squarshy clay and i do not understand how to mold them. i was really hoping trying to learn this game's style would GIVE me that kind of flexibility for fun exaggerated facial expression but i don't think much came of it in the end 😔. anyway on the bright side all this means once i got peppino figured out a little bit everybody else clicked way easier.

fake peppino: honestly i never did anything with him on purpose except for how his eyes work + the perma-smile thing. i figured ok hes supposed to look weird and off model so whatever happens with him happens. and it did. and it kept happening. it is still, in fact, happening.

noise/ette: somehow, for every bit that peppino was the least natural thing i've ever tried, these two worked pretty much right off the bat. i still don't understand it, seeing as pretty much all the things at play for peppino are also at work for them. i think the new sketches are actually a little worse than older ones but not enough that i care.

gustavo: really funny bc i drew him on model twice and just went 'okay, cool nice, easy, um. he doesn't have any fucking legs?' fortunately he was the only one i had a strong idea for how to stylize him [square] and it worked exactly as i was hoping so wahoo.

brick: is an animal and therefore 5000x easier and more natural for me to draw/stylize than anything else in the cast. that is Just a rat bro. i can draw a rat.

gerome: i think the funniest one here. the most drastic and least necessary change imo. i was gonna have him be really small at first, like smaller than the noises, but then i just... didn't. he's just peppino-sized now. also i gave him like. actual human facial structure, which is funny bc in most cases i'd do anything to avoid, but it works well for his being A Rock to give him some angles and definition like that+ to differentiate his vibe from the rest of the cast who are all very squishy. also since he is essentially Just A Head it's good to emphasize that too ig.

john: i only drew john a couple times but he gets to be here because i like him. and because most of the stuff i applied to gerome was readily applicable to john, though i did try to keep him a little more uncanny because he is a Huge And Lanky Freak. i hate that he is barefoot btw but idk how to make his color balance look right with shoes.

pizzahead: i did not want to put him on here honestly but i Have drawn him a handful of times and more importantly i didn't know what i was gonna do with john's pose if i didn't have him there to be glared at. the only thing that's different with him is giving him wider-bottomed pants, which i got from when i tried to draw these guys in clone high style [i never posted that one either][i will eventually]

snick: he gets to be here because 1. he's like 6 lines 2. i like him and 3. ive scribbled him a few times offhand and it went pretty well

misc

there are some guys missing because those are guys i didn't draw enough [or at all] to have gotten comfortable with them. sorry

i would have Liked to shade these but for the time being i have accepted that my grasp of light/shadow has decayed to the point im not going to be happy with anything i try there, so For Now i am working on my presentation with flats i guess. gerome has a shadow only because he's shaded like that ingame and looks naked without it

anyway if you are still reading [hi?] i get to shamelessly plug now. i'm over the hill of my pizza run now, and while i still have plenty of things i want to make here, most of the bigger more in-depth ones have passed. pizza tower was the first thing in THREE YEARS to get me out of my oc groove to doing fanart, and once i am done with my ideas here i will be going right back to it. if you like my art or how i write characters/interactions you should check out my oc/webcomic blog @jamverse . i can't promise people who like pizza stuff will be terribly into my designs, but i can guarantee i treat my guys with the exact same sort of tone i handle the pt guys with. and hell, i've mentioned it a few times before, but like 70% of my characterization for fake pep is just copied off one of my characters, so if u are going to miss him... he will still be there in spirit >;p

and if you dont care about any of that and are still reading thank you anyway. actually making these comics + seeing how shockingly well-received they've been has done a lot for my confidence, and for seeing that my kind of stuff IS something people enjoy :')

#pizza tower #peppino spaghetti #fake peppino #gustavo and brick #the noise #noisette #pizzahead #arting #pizzaposting

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imisscherryboy-blog · 7 months

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running back 2 u

enemies to lovers - football player! ajax x sports med! gn reader

part 1 part 3

spotify playlist (it’s good i swear)

3k words…………….💀

story: you and ajax have known each other since elementary school. those years haven't been always the best, as you both parted ways due to your differences in personality. that is, until one hot august night, where the stadium lights illuminate the turf, you find yourself running back to him again.

notes: !mature themes! (no smut) enemies to lovers, modern au, gender neutral reader, childe is referred to as ajax, last name tartaglia, american football, all characters are 18+ as seniors, highschool setting, part 2/3, gn reader, ajax is bi (since it’s gn), alhaitham and kaveh are gay, tbh kaveh kinda ooc imo, ajax is a bad boy ⛓️🥀 california coded

side characters featured: kaveh, alhaitham (alhaitham x kaveh), mona, albedo

warnings: mature themes, themes of sexual harassment (not described), reader almost gets kidnapped, drugs, alcohol, smoking, swearing, reader tells childe to kys (satire we in love w him)

★ part 2 of an ongoing series ★

ajax and his mom’s car drove further and further from the empty school. it was 11pm now, and you made your way back to the field to help clean up. the walk to the football field among the poorly lit school lights filled you with a sense of nostalgia—akin to how you first felt when you met ajax. you were snapped out of your thoughts as you saw kaveh jogging toward you.

“hey—you okay? what took so long?”

“oh boy.” this was gonna be a long night.

you drove kaveh and yourself to a nearby denny’s to debrief. you ordered pancakes and kaveh ordered probably the most, intricate, dish on the menu. over sharing food, you two both explained what happened while separated. you went first in retelling the events of taping him up to meeting his mom.

“he’s definitely not over you.” kaveh said taking a sip of his hot chocolate.

“dude, i feel like that’s such a mom thing to say though.” you argued.

“oh yeah my son talks about you 24/7 even though you haven’t talked in years!! let’s be serious y/n.” kaveh always knew had to make you laugh.

“i’ll think about it… but i wanna know what happened with you and alhaitham.” you tried to move the conversation away from yourself.

“you will never in a million years guess what happened.” kaveh said, loudly whispering.

“okay, so i won’t guess. what happened?”

“he gave me his number.” he said as his hands flew up to his face. “i’m still in shock.”

“oh my god.” you said, almost in disbelief.

“and that’s not all.. he invited me.. to a party. his party.” at this point, kaveh was practically standing up.

“don’t even lie..” you said.

“oh i’m not lying.” he took out his phone and showed an imessage thread of alhaitham sending kaveh a date and time, along with an address. your hands covered your mouth. he was serious. “and you’re coming with me.”

“yeah right.”

“oh, you’ll be there alright.”

you were there alright. the two of you stood outside the large house, viewing the students and strangers scattered across the lawn. it had been two weeks since the incident with ajax. not a word had been exchanged since then. but you cared more about kaveh, who has always been there for you, than some now stranger that presumably hates you. so you decided to accompany him. ajax and alhaitham were close, so you knew damn well you’d be in for a long night.

“well.. my future boyfriend is waiting inside. let’s go.” kaveh said as you both walked inside. it was a big house to say the least. alhaitham’s parents were some high ranking officials for the state school board, so they had money—and the ability to pull strings at any school they pleased.

“these high ceilings… and oh my god these exposed beams..” kaveh started to ramble on about the architecture of the house. he was into that stuff. you just nodded your head and pretended like you understood. you two walked to the drink table, and you both took a shot of pink whitney (it was disgusting) and a hard seltzer as a chaser.

“’m glad you guys made it.” an unfamiliar voice could be heard behind the two of you before you turned around. it was alhaitham.

“hi alhaitham!” kaveh sounded a little too happy. you also said hi and let the two of them go. you didn’t want to third wheel so you talked to some friends that were also at the party.

you couldn’t find ajax, though.

you hated that he was the first person you wanted to look for in this crowded room.

you figured he was off with someone, but nonetheless continued to keep and eye out for him, to steer clear of him, of course.

“and i just knew off the bat he was a scorpio.” your friend in your government class, mona, said as she took a sip of her drink.

“you’re so talented.” another friend of your’s, albedo added.

“if he was a cancer, it’d be a whole other story. everyone likes cancers..” she trailed off.

ajax was a cancer.

“hey y/n, let’s go take another shot.” mona suggested. “you down?”

“sure.” you figured saying no would leave you alone. albedo followed the two of you. after a couple of shots, mona kept talking.

“weren’t you the one that went with ajax after his last game?” mona’s question snapped you out of your daze.

“oh, yeah. that was me.” you explained.

“you didn’t hear it from me, but ajax’s fan club kinda hates you now..” well that was great. you didn’t even do anything.

“oh for real?”

“mhm, i even heard you two go way back.” albedo added. how would anyone know that..? let alone care that much? you thought to yourself.

“who’d you hear it from?” you asked.

“i heard two girls talking about it in econ.” albedo nonchalantly said.

“oh.”

in that moment, you felt a pair of eyes staring at you. you looked to the right of albedo’s head and saw ajax leaning against the wall, beside another guy. the guy was looking at him and talking, but it seemed like the only thing he was focused on was you. he took a sip from his red solo cup as you both held contact for maybe a second, before he looked away. it seemed he was already staring at you.

“y/n?” mona said.

“oh, sorry. why don’t we take another shot?” you suggested. something in you wanted to forget about him for a little bit to relieve yourself of the jealousy you felt. you knew that guy was his next victim, and it made you upset that that’s the person he’s become.

you, albedo, and mona took more shots after that. mona was gone by that point, and you were pretty sure you were drunk. luckily for you, you weren’t too much of a talker when you got drunk, you just felt dizzy and tired.

“i think we should go, mona. you need to sleep.” albedo said as he ushered a tipsy mona out of the door. you said your byes and stood at the steps of the house, watching them leave. you shouted a small “text me when you’re home” to which albedo nodded. you checked your phone for the time. it was 11pm now. you figured you should go find kaveh.

you walked along the twisty halls of alhaitham’s house. it felt like everything was spinning. you just wanted to sleep. you couldn’t go home unless you found kaveh. you didn’t want to leave him, and he’d understand if you wanted to go home. you recalled you didn’t see ajax after only seeing him for a second. maybe it was just the alcohol talking, but you felt as if you were being watched. you didn’t know by who, though.

you ended up in the living room again. you sat down on the large couch next to a couple making out, keeping your distance. you put your hands on your face, rubbing your eyes and trying to stay awake. you kept telling yourself that you needed to find kaveh, but every passing second made you feel more and more tired. a short nap wouldn’t hurt, right?

and just like that, you fell asleep on the end of the couch. you would admit it’d be kinda embarrassing to fall asleep at a party like a little kid, but you couldn’t help it. you were in a daze, half asleep and half awake. you could still hear the loud music, but your body was asleep. you saw two blurry figures in front of you.

“let’s take them …”

“my house? …”

“let’s go …”

what we’re they talking about? maybe they were talking to each other. why were they looking at you though? all of a sudden, you felt yourself being lifted up by the two guys. you honestly thought it was kaveh trying to get you back home, but he wasn’t that big. you felt yourself leaning against one of the guy’s arms, as the other one held you up. you felt yourself heading for the door before another guy stopped you.

“fuck are you guys doing?” a familiar voice said.

“oh—they’re our friend. they had a little too much to drink.” the two guys laughed. that was when you realized those two men were indeed not your friends but probably two low lifes trying to take advantage of you.

“y/n you know these guys?” the voice asked you. you nodded your head ‘no’ in response. you felt yourself being pried off by the person in front of you.

“who do you think you are? huh?” the guy that was trying to kidnap you said loudly. you had a headache now. all you could feel was a warm arm around you, and your head resting on.. ajax?

“who even are you two?” you heard alhaitham’s voice now. when those two guys carried you, they felt way too big to be high schoolers, college students?

“that’s none of your fucking business. get the fuck out of our way.” one of the two guys said. you felt a hand grab for you before ajax pulled you away from them.

“it is my business dipshit, i’m the owner of this house.” alhaitham retorted. by now, there was a small crowd around the five of you.

“alhaitham take y/n upstairs, i’ll deal with them.” ajax said as you felt alhaitham after a couple seconds pick you up with ease. usually, you’d be up and well awake by now, but that pink whitney had you paralyzed. you wanted to just say you could walk, but if you did, you’d probably collapse on the spot. contrary to some beliefs, alhaitham wasn’t a bad guy. kaveh liked him for a reason. he wouldn’t jump from girl to boy like ajax did. he carried you up the stairs and stopped in front of a room, before muttering something to himself.. about kaveh? then walking to another room and placing you on a bed, before immediately leaving, shutting the door behind him. you looked around the room before falling asleep. needless to say, it was a really nice room. it had a balcony and a big tv. it was a good size and the bed was pretty comfortable. there was a sports duffel bag on a chair that had your school’s logo on it. there wasn’t any equipment in it, just clothes. were you in alhaitham’s room? you looked a little closer and saw a hoodie laid out on the edge of the bed. it had your school’s name and the number 11 on it.

number 11?

why would ajax’s hoodie be here?

your headache only got worse, especially after almost getting kidnapped. you could heard the commotion downstairs, most likely ajax trying to get those two college guys out of the party. you slowly drifted to sleep.

after what felt like a couple hours, you woke up. you felt severely hungover but you tried to ignore it. it was still dark outside, and the room was cold. too cold. you picked up your phone that was on the charger and saw the time, 4:00 am. you had a couple of notifications but none of them were from kaveh. wait, you didn’t plug your phone in before going to sleep? who plugged it in?

“sleep well?” a voice could be heard from the balcony. the door was wide open, and you looked over. ajax stood at the door to the balcony with a cigarette in his hand, wearing that same hoodie you saw before going to sleep.

“no—what’re you doing here?” you said as you rubbed your eyes, slowly getting up.

“alhaitham had the bright idea to put you in my room.”

oh.

you were in ajax’s room.

“sorry.” you said. it went quiet for a minute. “you shouldn’t be smoking.” you pointed out.

“it’s either this or the oxycontin they prescribed me.” you’d much rather have him smoking a cigarette then.

you were sitting on up on the bed now. you needed to get kaveh and go home. you still were processing the events from last—a couple hours ago.

“you kept saying my name in your sleep..” ajax said blowing a puff of smoke outside.

there was absolutely no way. you felt your face heating up, were you actually??

“just kidding.” he ghosted the smoke.

“genuinely kill yourself.” why’d you believe him so easily? that would’ve been the worst thing to happen to you that night. after almost getting kidnapped. “where’s kaveh?” you asked.

“he’s out, alhaitham’s room.”

oh my god.

you’d need to debrief again with kaveh later.

“where’s alhaitham’s room? i’m taking him and going home.” you stated as you began to look for your belongings.

“how’re you getting home?” ajax asked.

“uber.” you said.

“like an uber’s gonna accept your ride at four in the morning.”

“you gonna drive me then?”

“if it comes down to it, yeah.” why was he being.. nice?

“you shouldn’t be coming to these kind of things if you leave yourself this vulnerable.” ajax said, taking a drag of his cigarette. “you haven’t changed, y/n.”

“well you sure have.” you said under your breath.

“grow up, y/n. just because you’re stuck in the past doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing that i’ve changed.” he had a point, but you’d never say that. “we’ll never be those kids again.”

you chuckled, “at least i can stick to one person. it doesn’t seem like you’re very good at that.”

“who? you can stick to who?”

you. that’s what you wanted to say. that’s what he wanted to say, too.

“nobody—just tell me where alhaitham’s room is.” you wanted to leave. remember how you thought he was being nice?

“down the hall on your right.” ajax said, walking back to the balcony. it felt like talking to a stranger.

you followed his instructions and arrived at the door. should you knock? or just go in really slowly? you put your ear against the door, trying to listen for any, sounds you wouldn’t exactly want to hear. it sounded quiet. you reached for the door handle and slowly pushed down, but it stopped there. it was locked. you cursed kaveh in your head, once again that night. you heard ajax’s agitating, grating voice down the hall, laughing. you just rolled your eyes and tried texting kaveh.

“y/n, it’s not gonna work. just wait until morning and you guys can uber back together.” he had a point. what was a couple more hours? at least you wouldn’t be leaving kaveh either, but you’d be stuck with ajax. that’s not something you really wanted, but it was for kaveh.

“do you have any food?”

you and ajax ended up in the kitchen, eating cereal. you pushed the cinnamon toast crunch around in your bowl as you sat at the island. ajax was in front of you, pouring himself out more cereal. it was quiet for the most part. one thing about the two of you was that you’d both be too scared to be the first to do anything. but that was a long time ago.

“how’s your knee?” you made some attempt at making conversation.

“recovering. what’s it to you?” of course he just had to say something that would piss you off.

“absolutely nothing.” you responded, taking a bite of the cereal. “did you fight those college guys?”

“oh yeah the ones that tried to abduct you and you just let them?”

that pissed you off. it wasn’t your fault, if anything, it was whoever let them in.

“if you did fight them i hope they beat the shit out of you.”

“maybe you should learn how to be more careful at parties. also another reason why you shouldn’t even be here.” he retorted.

“you’re such a bitch, you know that? i came with kaveh because i’m actually a good friend. it’s not like you ever were.”

“don’t start with that shit y/n.” he looked angry now. “i saved your ass and i don’t even get a thank you?”

“thank you. happy?” ajax’s phone started buzzing, it was closer to you than to him, so you saw the text messages.

myqb😘: kaveh’s w me

myqb😘: you should talk to y/n while you have the chance 🤑

myqb😘: and help me clean my goddamn house

that’s all you saw before he took his phone back. what the fuck was with the emoji? and the name?? ajax texted him and laid his phone screen down now. he didn’t see you reading the messages. you and ajax have argued twice in one night, you started to remember why you two aren’t friends anymore. you put your hands on your head, rubbing your forehead. you felt your headache coming back.

“what’s wrong with you?” his look softened a little when he saw your face.

“nothing. just hungover.” you responded.

“you need painkillers?” it was like he read your mind.

“i’ll take some if you have any.” you admitted.

“i got opioids, cigarettes, and tylenol. your pick.” you couldn’t help but laugh a little.

“tylenol.” you said.

“you sure?” he asked. you nodded your head in response. he went upstairs to go get your pain killers. why was he doing this? his face when he saw you in pain made your heart melt. why did it seem like he still gave a fuck about you? more like you two both gave a fuck about each other. you started thinking. you helped him out, and he’s helping you. your headache only got worse.

tag list - lmk if you would like to be added :)

@zamorazz

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beeoftheanxieties · 9 months

Text

So, @da-proti-toku-grem kind of inspired me to make a lengthy post, sharing some positive vibes across the fandom, listing the reasons why I love each member of Joker Out and why I would go full mom-mode on them and cook for them and bake them gluten-free cookies.

Anyway:

A Joker Out, brain-rot, appreciation post

(members listed in alphabetical order)

Bojan

First up - as someone who had the chance to see them live, he is an insane performer

His ability to enchant the crowd is insane and you can tell really well that he has great acting abilities too

Watched him in Gospod Profesor too, spot on for someone who is a so-called amateur

His singing voice is... amazing to say the least, it feels really unique

Also, the way he talks, the sound of his voice, the words he uses, his pronunciation, if there were awards for talking he would get one

The languages he speaks, I want to study him, linguistically, he is truly a phenomenon

We of course love a bilingual king

He looks like he has his priorities straight

I also respect him so much for how open he is about his mental illness

I might relate to him a bit too much at times whoops

And the fact that he can somehow befriend literally anyone??? Love that

His friendship with Jere is the main one of course

Oh yeah and the fact that he literally helped people who collapsed at their gigs a few times

Bless him, he deserves all the rest he is hopefully getting

Jan

First things first, I have a soft spot for math guys

And the way he talks about math is fascinating (but you still won't get me to like it Jan)

Cat dad???? We absolutely adore Igor and a man loving cats is such a green flag

I know people say he mumbles a bit and it's hard to understand him at times, but idk, he talks nice and slowly, so it's still really easy to understand him

He comes from my home region, so I am very biased haha

Also, every band needs a guitarist with luscious locks

He absolutely owns the colour red, that colour was invented specifically for him

The nose ring suits him so well too, this man KNOWS what fits him

And if that ends up being jackets with nothing underneath when he performs, THEN SO BE IT

I know people call Kris the lesbian icon, but from what I've seen lesbians are very drawn to Jan as well

Oh, and he gives me Klaus from the Umbrella Academy vibes (I blame the hair and the pink boa)

Jure

Holy shit, sunshine in human form????

The most underappreciated one in the band imo

His surname literally means 'cat' and I am so normal that Jan has called him 'muca'

He also comes from my region haha, bias again

He's really good at filming, he actually shot a few things for RTV (national TV station) and edited them as well, god, talent

Also playing drums... I have sang, I have played guitar, played bass, but drums is something I feel like I could NEVER do, so hats off to you

As @da-proti-toku-grem pointed out, THE MOLE ON HIS LIP? weak knees, yes

He also reminds me of a good friend of mine and I vibe with him so much, I feel like I would vibe with Jure as well

I really don't like the fact that drummers tend to get ignored and I just wish there was more Jure performing content

Though I love it how every time, during Novi Val, he comes to the front and hangs with the others

His hair also looks so soft and fluffy aaaaaa

Again, biased but he resembles my bf the most out of everyone so hmmmm

Kris

The baby of the band! (and the only one in the band I could actually call 'mulc')

In case you didn't know yet, he's half Dutch

And he speaks Dutch, which, as someone who speaks Dutch (in theory, not in practice) makes me really happy

I wish to study him linguistically as well

Also his parents' story feels very close to me, as I'm dating outside of my culture as well

According to him he was menace as a kid and I think we should normalise the fact that you can become a better person as you grow up

But pls don't honk at me on the road Kris, pls, I will cry

The songs he wrote??? NGVOT and Vse kar vem??? Oh boy, I love them, adore them

His holey sweaters are also a vibe

Dutch fans, if you don't shower him and the rest of the band with gifts at their Dutch concerts, I will be mad

Also gotta honorably mention Maks

They gotta be my fav nepo-but-not-really babies out there

Kinda like Maya Hawke?

I am ranting

He also looks like the only member of the band that I would fight, and idk why

Also, I must know if he supports Max Verstappen haha

Minus points for chemistry though, I cannot with that

Nace

Okay everyone

Here we go

We have reached my beloved

I love all of them, but Nace just a bit more

It was love at first sight, I cannot lie

I have a soft spot for bassists and he might actually convince me to try and play bass again

He has been playing it for so long too??? like wow

Oh and of course; THE TATTOOS, BLESSETH BE THE TATTOOS

I will always go feral about his tattoos

At every concert

I know he was the last to join the band but it looks like he fits in so nicely, it's beautiful

Strong mom-codded dad friend vibes

He kinda is the dad of the band haha

And he looks like he gives amazing hugs (lucky all of you who had managed to get one already)

A nice addition to the band

Oh and he's apparently shit at sports which is like... felt

Plus the fact that he wanted to be a vet?

Me too boo, me too, but neither of us is there now

Anway, I'll stop now. In conclusion, this band has my whole heart and they deserve every good thing that happens to them and so much more.

#joker out #nace jordan #jan peteh #bojan cvjetićanin #kris guštin #kris gustin #bojan cvjeticanin #jure maček #jure macek #bee's rants #this probably makes me sound so delulu but I swear I am not #though i will admit #i have yet to have gone outside today #anyway let me know what y'all think about our boys

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petermorwood · 7 months

Text

YA or not YA, that is the question...

This started out as a response to Diane’s post here about YA literature and its long history prior to what some people think inspired it, but got longer (Oh! What a surprise!) and wandered far enough from the initial subject that I decided to post separately.

So here it is.

*****

Many years ago my town library (in Northern Ireland, so following UK library practice, I suppose) had just two sections, Adult and Children. There was no YA section, and the Children’s section covered everything from large-format picture books through to hardback novels and the usual amount of non-fiction.

(Library books were almost always bought in hardback for better wear, and even the softback picture books were rebound with heavy card inserts.)

There were classics like “Treasure Island”, “Kidnapped”, “King Solomon’s Mines” “Under the Red Robe” and “The Jungle Books”.

There were standalone titles like “The Otterbury Incident”, “The Silver Sword”, “The Sword in the Stone” and “The Stone Cage”.

There were series about characters like William, Biggles, Jennings and his counterpart Molesworth, the Moomins, Narnia and Uncle.

There were authors like Alan Garner, Nicholas Stuart Grey, Rosemary Sutcliffe, Henry Treece, Ronald Welch… And of course there was J.R.R. Tolkien.

The first time I got "The Hobbit", "Farmer Giles of Ham" and "Smith of Wootton Major" they were shelved in the Children's section. This was about 1968-69.

In the early 1970s the library moved to larger premises, which allowed room for Very Young Children (where the picture books now lived) and Children (everything else), still with no YA section, though with more advanced picture books like “Tintin” and “Asterix” * in a sort of no-man’s-land between them.

( * These included editions in the original French, which turned out very useful for making language lessons at school a bit more fun and gaining extra marks in exams through judiciously enhanced vocabulary.)

“The Hobbit” et cetera were still on the Children shelves, but now that the library was larger and more open-plan, volumes of "The Lord of The Rings", normally in the Adult section, occasionally got shelved there as well by well-meaning non-staff people.

I never saw “The Hobbit” mis-shelved alongside “Lord of the Rings” among the Adults, but Farmer Giles” and “Smith” sometimes turned up there, courtesy of those same well-meaning hands.

It’s probably because the first, with its sometimes complex wordplay and mock-heroic plot, reads like a humorous parody of more serious works, while the second, if read in the right frame of mind, can seem quite adult in the style of Sylvia Townsend Warner’s “Kingdoms of Elfin” - which is in fact a good deal more adult than “Smith of Wootton Major”, even if you squint.

*****

This “Hobbit” / “Rings” confusion is a lightweight version of assuming a particular author writes every book for the same age-group. This is very much not the case.

Sometimes the thickness of the book is a giveaway. Compare, for instance, @neil-gaiman’s “American Gods” with “Coraline” or indeed “Fortunately, The Milk”.

Sometimes the cover is a hint, for example the difference between “Live and Let Die” by Ian Fleming...

...and “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang”, also by Ian Fleming...

...although the original James Bond novels are – apart from some extremely dated attitudes – a lot more weaksauce than many YA books nowadays.

(More weaksauce still now that Fleming, like Roald Dahl and Agatha Christie, has been censored to conceal the extent to which - let's call them Certain Attitudes - were a standard feature in British popular fiction. Apparently (I haven't read any Newspeak Bond so can't confirm) the redaction was done in a curiously slapdash way, removing some things while leaving others.

These novels have become, IMO anyway, period pieces as much as Kipling, Doyle, Dickens and Austen, and erasure probably has less to do with sensitivity - maybe with some "brush it under the rug and they'll forget about it" involved - than with keeping them marketable, so Fleming doesn't go the way of other once-bestselling writers like "Sapper" and Sydney Horler.)

It would also be a mistake, despite advisory wizards Tom and Carl, to think that @dduane’s “Young Wizards” books are meant for the same age-group as her “Middle Kingdoms” series – although, once again, the later YW books and all of the MK slot into what a modern YA audience expects from its fiction.

But sometimes there’s absolutely no doubt that This Book by This Author is not meant for the readership of That Book by The Same Author. I’m thinking of one example which caused a certain amount of amusement.

“Bee Hunter” by Robert Nye is a retelling of the Beowulf story for children, though IIRC occasional bloody episodes as Grendel takes Hrothgar’s housecarls apart make it more suited to older children.

I’d brought home a copy from the library when much younger, and borrowed it again years later in company with another Nye novel, “Falstaff”...

...which was poetic, historic, melancholic, often bawdy, frequently funny and at all times most emphatically NOT for children, as indicated by some of these chapter headings - I draw your attention to XX, XXII, XXXII and especially XL... ;->

Yes. Quite... :->

*****

I was familiar with card index systems from quite early in my life, because my grandfather’s grocer’s shop had a fairly simple one for keeping track of customers, suppliers, stock and so forth, and since the library’s index card system cross-referenced in the same way, I was already home and dry.

If I could remember a title, I'd find the author, and once found I could track down other titles by that author (which, as shown above, can be educational...) Even if I could only remember the subject - historical, adventure, comedy - I'd still have narrowed my search window more than somewhat.

(This from-here-to-there mindset later became virtual train travel by way of the electronic timetables which SBB – Swiss Railways – used to issue on CD, and which let me “travel” anywhere in Europe, complete with a map. Those CDs are long discontinued, but I can still do virtual travel courtesy of the SBB website. Complete with a map…)

This is the last one we got, kept for sentimental reasons and occasional outdated train-travel on an equally outdated XP netbook.

As you do.

Or as I do, anyway. :->

*****

I also knew about title request cards and interlibrary loans, and was a frequent user - never more so than when I started reading “The Lord of the Rings” for the first time.

The town library didn’t have all three volumes, just “The Fellowship of the Ring” and “The Two Towers”, so I checked them out on a Friday to read over the weekend.

You can already see where this is going… :->

I finished “Fellowship” late on Saturday afternoon, went straight into “Towers” and by Sunday evening was all of a twitter (no, not that one) or as my mum would have said, up to high Doh, as I fretted about Not Knowing What Happened Next.

Fortunately school was no more than a brisk bike ride from the library, so I devoted my Monday morning break to zooming down and filling in one of the most urgent title requests I’ve ever made, then spent the rest of the week on tenterhooks, looking in every lunchtime and each afternoon on my way home.

Just In Case.

Some kindly librarian must have pulled strings or stamped the request "Expedite Soonest", because when I went back to school after Thursday lunch, I had “The Return of the King” burning a hole in my saddlebag.

I wanted to start reading it at once, but good sense prevailed; imagine getting caught between chapters at the back of a boring Geography lesson and Having The Book Confiscated…

I didn’t pay much attention in class on Friday, due to being half-asleep after starting “Return” in the evening after prep and finishing it in the wee hours of the morning.

But being tired didn’t prevent me from starting with “Fellowship” again on Friday night, and this time being able to read right through to the end without needing to stop.

It Was Great…

#YA books #library age categories #library use #don't judge a book by its cover #don't judge an age group by author #anecdotage

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gretchensinister · 1 month

Text

Babylon 5 rewatch, S1 E8: And the Sky Full of Stars

IDK if it's how I'm watching it or what, but the lighting on B5 seems dimmer than I would expect in public spaces

Okay okay plot: guy needs money for shady reasons, other guys have Sinclair as a target for who knows what

Oh, it's not notable shady reasons, it's just a gambling problem

The guy with the longish gray hair that's going to do Something to Sinclair has a very 90s energy, I can't define it but it's so notable

I like Dr. Franklin and Delenn's scene here with the practicality of getting information about other species brought up.

Yeah Delenn what DID you do during the war?

The design of that weird chair is good, I definitely believe that they built it out of smuggled in pieces and that it's going to be used for nefarious purposes

Ignoring the plot to wonder about Sinclair's kitchen area not appearing to have a sink or any appliances (I know it's just a set but I think about trying to redesign my tiny apartment kitchen a lot)

Sinclair is in the Torment Nexus

At least it's hard for the commander of an entire space station to disappear without notice

Of course it's a simulation that's what happens to guys in charge of space stations/starships, other weird guys show up to fuck with your head. Notable employment hazard.

Sinclair's Mysterious Day! Yesss let's find out about it (shame the exposition has to come through the Torment Nexus)

Sinclair is 39...I guess that makes sense. (Maybe I just know so many people in that age group with so much less responsibility.)

The angelfish-looking Minbari ships <3

If you believe in yourself you can punch your way out of the mind prison (I mean...it didn't work yet, but it might)

I think B5 as a show does well with naming things. I mean, maybe it's just familiarity at his point, but the Battle of the Line is simple, evocative, and IMO gives you an idea of what it was about

Goodbye Benson we hardly knew ye

Yeah where exactly are these "Knights" from?

I think the guy playing the interrogator would be great to see on stage.

Another human supremacist conspiracy theorist, boooo

"Maybe the universe blinked" I do like that line

"There is a hole in your mind" that was from the pilot movie we missed on the rewatch schedule, wasn't it?

:D :D :D (my reaction to the triluminary [did I remember that correctly?] appearing)

I know who that waaaaaaaas

YES you CAN punch your way out of the mind prison if you love your station enough

Delenn we (the audience) still want MANY more answers about what you were doing during the war

I have a feeling this guy is going to be interrogated by psycops as soon as he gets back to Earth

Secrettsssssss I love this dynamic though

It's an interesting 90s thing that Sinclair is comfortable making a electronic/digital recording of this EXTREMELY sensitive information, these days my perspective is if you want it to be secret it's on paper hidden in your mattress or something

#babylon 5 #b5-rewatch #b5 rewatch

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steveisagay · 1 year

Note

Could you maybe write a fluff fic about m!reader x Eddie? Where the reader has had a shitty day but Eddie is there(so it’s immediately better imo). Eddie asks the reader what’s wrong and all the reader does is just face plant into Eddie’s chest and mumbles something about someone at work being awful. Ends in sappy cute cuddles and Eddie making terrible(yet funny) dad jokes to cheer up his boy, with kisses included.

"It's okay, you did good today,"

Eddie Munson x M!reader

Thank you so much for your request! Whenever you show up in my notifications it reminds me that people actually like my writing

Warnings: swearing as always, slight homophobia, slight allusions to a car crash, I accidentally made it more angsty than needed, other than that it's fluff, also a mention of kids

Today was shit. Y/N's work was shit, and so was having to deal with people all day long. Normally he would have no problem with a few needy or bitchy customers, but not when they just came in over and over and over. It took almost everything in him not to walk out or hide in the back until he could go home.

Going home made everything worth it. Not only could he sink into the blankets covering his bed, but he could always sink into the arms of his lover as well. While Y/N had to work the standard 9 to 5, Eddie was out selling different types of drugs to the same dickheads he condemned, well, and the typical loser.

Driving home was tense, he was gripping at the steering wheel, trying to keep it all together. He didn't bother to turn on the radio, as he was already driving 10 over the limit. His fingers loosely played with the keys, but making sure to keep his eyes on the road so he could at least still get home to Eddie.

His hands shook as he fiddled the key into the knob. He already heard the faint sounds of the tv. When he finally got the door open he didn't bother hanging up his keys, instead tossing them on the counter without looking where they actually landed.

"Hi baby!" Eddie practically yelled throwing his hands up in the air, his words muffled by whatever he was snacking on. Y/N took quick steps until he found himself hidden in Eddie's neck. "Baby, what's wrong?" He ran his hands down his boyfriend's back as Y/N finally relaxed after his long day.

When Y/N answered it came out as a mumbled mess where the only coherent words were 'work' and 'people'. "Yeah baby, people suck," Eddie felt as he grabbed onto his shirt harder, moving his hand to stroke their hair, "it's okay, you did good today," his eyes grew wider when he started to feel his lovely boyfriend start to shake. He gave a quick squeeze before saying anything else.

"Baby,"

His heart ached when when he heard the small 'yeah..' that came from the crook of his neck.

"Wanna hear a joke?" His smile gleamed when he felt the small nod against his skin. "Okay so, how do cows stay up to date?"

"I don't know, how Eds?"

"They read the moos-paper" he replied with a small chuckle, "Next," he paused, for dramatic effect of course, "Where do pirates get their hooks?"

Finally, Y/N looked up, eyes glistening as he made contact with his adorable boyfriend. "Where Eddie?"

"The second hand store." He snickered

"Oh my god, that was terrible."

"Why thank you," he was just happy to make him feel better, "Now, what's blue and not heavy?"

Y/N giggled, "I don't know, a bucket?"

"No! Light blue!"

Then he hurled a pillow from the end of the couch, "Oh my god Eddie, when did you become a dad?"

There was a small pause, "Whenever you're ready."

Y/N was stunned, they'd been together for almost a year, but they'd never talked about kids. "Eddie..." A sense of sorrow overtook his eyes again, "We can't..."

Eddie made sure to press a kiss to his forehead, then to his lips. "I'm sure we can figure things out," he pressed another kiss to his lips, then his nose, "I know the system isn't exactly in our favor, but we can figure something out."

His eyes had started to glisten again, they'd never talked about having kids because, well, they're two men.

Eddie pressed three more kisses along his cheeks and back to his forehead. "What's brown and sticky?"

He laughed again, "I don't know Eddie, what is brown and sticky?"

"A stick," he pressed a kiss to his lips once again.

Y/N chuckled, "you are horrible, I hope you're proud of yourself."

Eddie let out a laugh of his own. "Actually I am quite proud of myself."

#stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie stranger things #eddie x reader #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson x male reader #eddie munson fluff

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duckchu · 6 months

Text

Under The Weather SDV Sebastian x reader

Reader isn't the farm, pre established relationship (Sebastian is your boyfriend), jealous Sebastian, reader is a baker since imo Pelican Town deservers a bakery

It was a week since the farmer moved in. She looked like a nice gal, although very silent. She sometimes stopped by your bakery and listened to your rants about Joja putting your shop out of business. She would even sometimes gift you your favourite items. You really grew to like her, even sometimes allowing her to hang out in the back and visiting her farm for garnishes for your dishes, unfortunately that meant you had practically no time for your boyfriend, Sebastian. Due to the nature of his job, you would usually hang out in his basement, with him doing some last fixes for his latest code and watching a movie later. You were sad that you haven't seen him in more than a week. Maybe you should stop by Robin's, especially since you needed to fix one of the displays, as the wood on it started cracking.

Next day you closed shop early to go visit your future mother in law and after giving her the money for the display fix up, the farmer walked in. You wanted to go to your boyfriends room, but she stopped you, handing you a really pretty crocus, one of your favourites.

- Oh my...Thank you - you gave her a big smile and put the flower into your bag, going down stairs into the basement. Sebastian was sitting in his chair, eyes fixed on his computer. You walked up to him and gave him a peck on the cheek, alerting him to your presence. He nodded to greet you, busy with his work while you sat down on his bed and took out your tablet, looking for movies to watch this evening. You felt good about returning to your usual routine. That was until Seb finished his work, getting up and looking at you, noticing the crocus.

- Did she give this to you again?- He didn't look mad or hurt or even upset, but you knew deep down he was mad at the farmer. Sebastian wasn't usually a jealous guy, but he felt like he was only with you due to the fact that he got lucky. He was sure everyone in town thought you would be better off with someone with an actual life. Like Alex, Hayley or even Sam. Now that the farmer has appeared, he was sure you would have preferred to be with her...No matter what you told him, he kept on deluding himself to stay in his misery. It pained you to see him like this. You couldn't come up with a good answer to his question so you just pulled him into a hug to at least try to reassure him that you aren't planning to leave him anytime soon.

Ah, Spring, the new plants, the air getting warm...You couldn't help but to enjoy the season. The 24th approached quickly so you dusted off the old white dress and went to the field. Looking for Sebastian, you ran into the farmer. She seemed to be enamoured by your looks in the dress. It was...flattering to have this kind of attention. You knew Sebastian tried his best to show you affection, but he was bad at it...You were sure he loved you, but he couldn't show it...You looked for Sebastian again, but it seemed like he didn't show up...You sighed, then the farmer asked you to dance. Well if Seb wasn't going to come anyways...You decided to agree and go back to socialising when you saw him. You felt shame engulf you as he approached, knowing that you're gonna have to deny him.

- Y/N, would you like to dance with me? - he asked, a light smile on his face, how unlikely of him. It felt even more crushing to deny him

- I would love to, but I didn't think you'd come and then the farmer asked me...- the sudden change in his expression hurt you, his smile disappearing

- I understand - he said, as much as he didn't want to show, his hurt apparent in his eyes. You felt so disappointed in yourself for making him feel that way. You went up to the farmer and the dance begun, you looked sadly at Sebastian standing in the corner, not wanting to participate even with Abigail, his best friend...You decided to make it up to him.

As the days of spring went by, you finally caught a rainy one. You went to the pier, with hopes of seeing your beloved there.

You were really lucky, finding him in the exact spot he always was. You walked up to him.

- Sebastian? - he looked at you, his cigarette hanging from his mouth

- I'm sorry about the flower dance...I thought you wouldn't come and...the farmer asked me and...-

- I understand. - he cut you off

- No, Seb, I love you...- He looked surprised, almost like he was expecting you to say something different. He looked at you, soaked wet and almost... desperate to prove that you really love him, even though you risked being sick. He looked back at all the moments you've spent with him and finally realised just how sincere you were when you said those words.

×-----------------------------------------------×

Please don't mind me sucking at endings thank you

~ Dukchu

#sebastian x reader #sdv sebastian #stardew valley x reader #stardew valley #sdv sebastian x reader #sdv #x reader

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readbyred · 1 year

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i've been looking for someone who writes for Tangled the Series for a while and i'm oh so glad that i found your blog! so...if you're still up to write for Varian...i don't know if you know who Nilou from Genshin is, esentially she's a dancer (i think persian style dancing specifically) so...may i request some headcanons for Varian with a fem!reader who's like Nilou, a really delicate and elegant dancer who's also a sweetheart off-stage? sorry if this request it's a bit too specific though

I’m glad you like my blog! To be fair, i have no idea about anything genshin related, but this is what we have Google for

As soon as he sees you perform he gets a tiny puppy crush on you

He notes how elegantly you move and how deliberate all your movements are

Still, he’s not head over hills for you just yet, not until he properly meets you

Because imo it’s kind of clear that he catches feelings for people that are just nice to him

Like, if you are decent and polite he will think you are the one

And you are a total sweetheart

Ngl he will be overwhelming the first few times you meet but he has good intentions

After he grows on you (it’s not hard, he’s kind and cute, just very… intense in his feelings) the path to a relationship is not a log one

You’re the gentle, sweet soul he needs

Makes you so many gifts that could help you with your art (not that you need to improve it, but if you want to try something new he’s all in)

Constant jokes that Ruddiger likes you more (he does)

Brings you snacks after practice

Every time you show your skills in front of people, he reiterated to everyone that you are his girlfriend his awesome super talented girlfriend

When he gets too intense about something you help get him to think clearly

This goes to every type of fem!reader tbh but he definitely calls you M’lady

It’s a threat or a promise, you choose

If you ever agreed to be his assistant in lab or during science shows he’s be ELATED

You work well in the setting too, since you are so agile and careful

And even if people don’t take kindly to his inventions, you’re always there to provide comfort and support

You just care for each other so damn much is so sweet

#tts #rta #rta varian #tts varian #tts varian x reader #varian x reader #fem!reader #tangled x reader #tts x reader #rta x reader #tangled the series #tangled the series x reader

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sh0tanzz · 14 days

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Hii! Who in riize has the most difficulties in managing anger?

+ you really send a lot of Libra and Taurus energies, but IDK

oh babes I WISH I had that much venusian influence.

but for anger difficulty if I was to rank them based on anger management I'd say

Sungchan - Hes pretty sensitive and has a hard time holding in his feelings so that can lead to becoming very irritated very fast and he can take offense quicker than others but on top of that he doesn’t speak or express himself well so he becomes super conflicted. It’s very obvious when he’s upset but he’ll never admit or talk about it due to his pride.

Sohee - he isn’t quick to get angry at all and prefers to be on the more chill positive side but when he is angry he could speak pretty reckless and practically word vomit and accidentally say something pretty mean or rude (only if he felt criticized and wrongly spoken about imo)

Eunseok - surprise surprise ik how can stoic eunseok have emotional management problems but the thing is Eunseok can hold his anger in or not express it but that isn’t -controlling- your anger it’s suppressing it. He has a tendency to suppress and bury his feelings and this can be good for the sake of self control..BUT it leads to it slowly building up and then bam a random outburst about something from months ago.

Honorable Mention:

Anton - he’s a special case because I wouldn’t say he struggles with his anger because he’s relatively mellow and hashes everything out when he gets a moment to sit down and think but if something is really eating at him and kills his mood super badly he can be pretty cruel and insensitive when he’s extremely upset but he rarely ever reaches that point

#sh0tanzz

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ejundo · 10 months

Text

- 𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐒𝐖𝐀𝐍 -

ᴀᴏᴍɪɴᴇ ᴅᴀɪᴋɪ x ᴍ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

FEM ALIGNED PLEASE DNI! THIS STORY IS MADE FOR MALE READERS ONLY!! PLEASE AND THANK YOU FOR COOPARATING!! ٩(｡•́‿•̀｡)۶

warnings!; ice skater male reader | MALE reader | reader is a boy. | this won't have NSFW aomine is still a high schooler.... popular reader .. more to be added? slight of enemies to friends to lovers? most likely out of character

﹟ - ⌜𝐘𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠.. ⌝ ⌞𝐀𝐰𝐰.. 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭.. ⌟ \ 𝐓𝐨 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚 𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐩𝐨𝐩𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡 𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐲 𝐀𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐃𝐚𝐢𝐤𝐢. 𝐖𝐡𝐨 𝐞𝐱𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐫? 𝐖𝐞𝐥𝐥.. 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐥𝐚𝐳𝐲 𝐛𝐮𝐦. .

this was copy and pasted off of my wattpad and onto my tumblr because i honestly really like this story imo its more me!!! [ i dont know what this writing style is called but..] ANYWAY ENJOYYYYYY ★ one - ur in it. - ★two

— — — — — — — ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ — — — — — — —

the sounds of chatter filled the air. gossip. boys fawning over female genitals and being overall.. disrespectful

well? seems like a normal day for M/n L/n.

well obviously , m/n l/n was apart of these cliques. socializing and gossiping with his friend. he's a popular one.. and this caught the attention of many..

he heard his name everywhere. everyone knew his name 'm/n! ' ' ohh m/n! ' he was slightly tired of it. but, he enjoyed the attention how everyone knew his name how popular he was he loved. it.

but one didn't he found it annoying.. so annoying... that was aomine daiki. he was tired of having to hear the name m/n constantly even his own teammates had said it.

' yo , did u see m/n today? ' ' that clip m/n posted on his ig was funny as hell ' ' i wonder if m/n wants to try out basketball we could teach him? ' > <

?? that's funny..

— — — — — — — ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ — — — — — — —

aomine grumbled as he jumped onto the small platform placed on the roof top. he was tired. no not because of basketball , how would thee aomine daiki get tired over basketball? exactly. he never did. never..

infact he was tired of m/n l/n and his stupid name. what was so special about this.. nobody?

he ice skates? so? i play basketball..

aomine though wasn't aware that he was exactly the same. let's move to m/n's point of view shall we?

stupid fucking aomine.. him and his name everywhere.. whats so special about him?

it seems the two have mutual feelings? and the same thoughts about each other.. woah

enemies.

how silly...

★

M/n was heading to the ice rink he goes to , to practice. He carefully made his way on roller skates. humming a random tune. He had finally arrived at the skate rink stepping inside quickly making his way towards the lockers.

After doing his usual routine , he glanced around. Usually his skating partner would arrive earlier but it seemed that they were absent... He didn't think to much of it but had a slight ping of worry , it was unusual for his colleague to never show up for practice. M/n was now finished with his routine , stepping out of the locker room and slowly making his way towards the rink.

★

'hm? oh momoi-san! hii! ' the figure skater halted as he saw a familiar pair of pink hair enter the rink. a smile on his face as he made his way towards her , though it had slowly faded as he saw the also very familiar dark blue hair alongside her.

aomine daiki was picking his nose. ' eugh... ' m/n shivered in disgust though finally arriving infront of momoi. she was grinnning happily and both aomine and m/n knew what she was gonna say wasn't going to be a good idea.

'n/n! dai-chan and i need your help!' she exclaimed though aomine shook his head ' i beg to differ.. though i have no idea to what you are trying to do...'

he sniffed his nose after finally NOT stuffing it with his finger flicking it somewhere...

' well! i was thinking that maybeee you m/n could help dai-chan study! he really needs it and you both are basically the same though specialize in different athletics and you on the other hand are really smart n/n! dai-chan really needs it... '

momoi quickly explained the ice skater could barely keep up with what she was saying...

' i mean i guess though i don't think me and aomine get along well.. at. all. ' m/n shrugged stepping off of the ice carefully slipping them off.

his feet were stinging from the previous moves he was doing though he was used to it.

'hahh.. i mean it can be a way of bonding trust me! ' momoi grinned looking towards the tanned basketball player. 'well? what do you say! it could really help you... '

aomine only shrugged ' i don't care if i get kicked off for my grades.. their loss.. '

momoi didn't take that nicely. smacking the back of aomine head , m/n only watched mentally laughing at the basketball player as he winced.

' fine..! good god... i guess this nerd can tutor me. ' m/n kicked the basketball players leg with his barefoot. well.. not bare but you get what i mean.. hopefully.

aomine grunted smacking the back of m/n's head exactly how momoi did it. which earned a punch to HIS and M/N's head from momoi curled up fist.

'QUIT IT YOU TWO!! '

★

..hm those two are interesting.. but those two were in a room studying like momoi wanted them too.. more specifically m/ns room. It was simple , clean , and very neat a nice satisfying smell of something.. fresh? filled the room, it fit m/n perfectly.

' i cant believe im doing this... what's your grade in english hm? ' m/n had muttered the first part though it was loud enough for aomine to hear. he rolled his eyes ignoring the comment ' D ' he answered. simple and dry. that ticked the skater off though he kept his cool. ' and whats your lowest grade and your highest grade. '

' my lowest is D which is english. and highest is A in gym. ' obviously... m/n only rolled his eyes of course this hunk had an A in gym.. though its quite surprising.. this thing? having a good grade.. what a joke..

' I suppose we can start off with english.. ' ★

pov . m [ a short time skip. ]

it's warm. thats.. weird. I slowly cracked open my eyes as my vision was blurred. the room was dark , and i tried remembering what had happened. well . from what I recalled...

! ★ fb ★ !

' were done for today.. you can head home now. ' i mumbled my eyes were heavy and head was banging from how absolutely stupid this fucker was.. he can't even understand a simple equation?

'oh? that's some way to treat your guest.. its 1 am n/n. ' i scoffed. who let him called me n/n? i definitely didn't.. ' don't call me that or i'll start calling you dai from now on. get it.. because dai sounds like "die" hah... ' now I am truly losing it.

he only rolled his eyes and started.. stripping? out of his clothes only leaving his undergarments on ' DUDE WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? ' I had finally realized the situation throwing a notebook at the boy. and of course he had dodged it ' well. im sleeping over considering it's 1 am.. ' he plopped down onto my bed and I could only roll my eyes. I grabbed a pair of sleepwear heading for the showers..

as I made it to the bathroom I turned the shower on stepping into it satisfied as the steaming water hit my body.. refreshing... I reached out for the bottle of shampoo putting a small glob onto my hand lathering it onto my hair.. the smell of roses calmed me. rinsing the shampoo out I had moved onto conditioner. and then body wash. and that is to when my shower ended.

I slowly stepped out with a towel drying myself , wrapping it around my waist afterwards. I had then moved to brushing my teeth and doing skincare.

after doing such i made it to my room quietly making sure to not wake up those who slept in the other rooms. stupidly unaware of the "sleeping" basketball player who was reading porn on his phone.. disgusting. turning on the light i stared at the blue haired man who was reading a porno.. he only stared back. ' nice body.. though these bodies are nicer.. ' he flipped his phone showing me, i immediately panicked ' YOU IDIOT! ' I threw the clothes I had in hand at him .

realizing what i had done i quickly made it to him grabbing the pair of clothes and his phone shutting it off slamming it onto the desk.

proceeding to change into my clothes WITH the light off. my hair now slightly dry though still wet. ' move over or sleep on the floor. ' muttering i could hear shifting and i put my hand down guiding myself only for my hand to touch the warm skin of aomine. ' I said move over you stupid fuck.. ' I could sense him rolling his eyes and smack his arm and he lazily rolled over.

atlas I laid down on the bed getting comfortable drifting off into a deep slumber..

★

so.. that's what happenedthat's embarrassing... where is he anyway...

lifting myself up i had realized i was laying on top of the stupid basketball player..

— — — — — — — ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ — — — — — — —

𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐒𝐖𝐀𝐍

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the--highlanders · 2 months

Note

I hope you don't mind me asking but what are your favourite Jamie EU stories?

oh my god not at all, I never mind being asked about my favourite little guy <33

I'm gonna break this down by media type, but there's some parts of the eu like comics that I'm not super familiar with, so if anyone wants to add some of those on (or any other eu stories) then go ahead!!

putting this under a cut because it got LONG rip

big finish

the jigsaw war

jamie is trapped inside a puzzle, experiencing events out of order, and has to figure out how to escape. this is THE audio for me in terms of like. recognising that jamie isn't stupid just because he comes from the eighteenth century. he really gets to shine on his own rather than being relegated to 'dumb exposition prompter' (which I feel like some audios can be kinda guilty of.....) also the fact that two and jamie canonically have a strong enough connection to form a psychic link over long distances makes me chew through glass. this audio GETS it in a way some others just don't.

the glorious revolution

two, jamie, and zoe travel back to the time of the glorious revolution, the event that set the jacobite cause in motion, and jamie grapples with not being able to change the past. if you saw that audio snippet going around a couple days ago you'll have an idea of why I'm reccing this one. it has been a while since I've listened to it & I do really want to relisten and check it out for historical accuracy. but regardless it's another one that gives jamie some of the depth he deserves, this time in terms of emotional depth and his feelings about his backstory.

the selachian gambit

two, jamie, ben, and polly get caught in the middle of an alien bank heist. this one is pretty focused on ben, polly, and jamie as a trio - they're largely taking on the action while two keeps the detective work of the plot chugging along. jamie doesn't hugely stand out here in terms of the audio really adding something to his character, but it does show his dynamic with ben and polly pretty well. in particular there's some great scenes with him and ben working together, and I love their friendship a lot so that's always a good time.

honourable mentions: helicon prime (I do feel this one underutilises jamie a bit and undersells him in some weird ways, but if you're looking for two/jamie content you can't get much gayer than this. plus it's the origin of the whole 'jamie and kirsty get married' thing which I hate on principle & am obsessed with in practice), the phantom piper (it's got so much more potential than it gives imo but the tidbits that we get are so good. jamie's relationship with his grandparents.... his best friend taking a bullet for him and dying in his arms...... I just wish I could explain to the author that there's no such thing as a bedroom door in a blackhouse)

novels

the roundheads

two, jamie, ben, and polly travel back to the 1600s, and get largely split up by events unfolding around them. this is a pure historical and it delights in that. if you're after ben and polly content, the roundheads delivers on that too - but it really is some great early twojamie content. (whatever way you choose to read them - it's definitely a shippable book if you're into that). they spend the majority of the book together, both for plot reasons and just hanging out (they go to a frost fair!! two buys jamie treats and then makes himself a flower crown!!) and you get a great sense of jamie figuring two out early into his travels, and how he's far more interested in the doctor as a person than some other companions - he's the only one to show interest in susan when the doctor namedrops her, for instance. this is the best two-era book to me.

the wheel of ice

two, jamie, and zoe visit a space station built a little before zoe's time, and find that not everything is as it seems. again, this is a great one for zoe content as well as anything else, and for some very sweet moments with zoe and two. I don't necessarily feel this one always nails two and jamie's dynamic, but they don't spend a massive amount of time together here, so it's not too jarring. really I'm reccing this because of the scenes where jamie falls in with a bunch of teenagers from the space station, and finds himself kind of responsible for them. it's just nicely done and gives a good sense of jamie as a caretaker character and someone who feels a drive to be responsible for other people.

honourable mention: the episode novelisations (these are a lot of fun, especially if you have particular episodes you enjoy. they often add in extra details, background for side characters, or just little things from the episodes that were cut from the script. I really like them for adding a bit more depth and life to existing stories, and just little things that make you go 'yeah I'll add that to my belief system').

short stories

the time eater/across silent seas

two and jamie give a massive time-eating creature a funeral, and save a space whale from being turned into a weapon. both from the compilation destination prague. literally nobody gets me like the destination prague stories get me I'm not even kidding. these are THE eu two stories to me. both of these are arguably 6b, and they really work in that position - both in showing two and jamie with a very settled, devoted dynamic and in their themes and subject matter. the time eater is a story with no villain, and even the incidental threat of the dying creature causing havoc in time is secondary to the emotional keystone of jamie helping two accept death rather than running away. across silent seas has jamie nearly being aged to death and two absolutely losing it. they're both really about age and death and loss, which hits hard for 6b, with jamie's determination to stay with two forever and two's growing realisation that even if jamie doesn't choose to leave or survives their adventures, his lifespan is still going to be far shorter.

the age of ambition

two, jamie, and victoria land at the house of one of victoria's father's friends, only to find he has been trying to reanimate the dead. from the compilation life sciences. this is really a victoria story, probably the defining victoria story for me. it's got backstory, it's got gothic horror/victorian scientific ambition vibes in a similar way to evil of the daleks, it's got victoria character moments. but it's also a really crucial story for jamie, to me. as a character, I don't think jamie never quite forms into the brawny action man stereotype he was originally drafted as - and that's one of the things I love most about him. again he's too much of a caretaker, he's a piper rather than a soldier. he's rarely truly angry, even when he fights he never seems out to cause much actual harm, and you get the sense his protectiveness over his friends wars with this almost inability to do harm. the age of ambition GETS that and pushes it to the extreme, with jamie being unable to fire a killing shot to save his friends, to the point where victoria has to do it herself. it's such a compelling character moment for both of them and their dynamic.

on a pedestal

two, jamie, and victoria travel back to meet william wallace, who jamie idolises. from the compilation the quality of leadership. this is another one that really gets and hones in on a particular nuance of jamie's character - in this case, the strength and rigidity of his morals and sense of responsibility, and his dislike of people who fall short of that. he's faced with the fact that someone he admires was once careless, lax about taking responsibility for their actions even when other people are at risk, and just a bit childish. it shakes him, and he spends much of the story grappling with that. it's such a good look into the qualities that jamie admires versus the ones that he can't stand. but that's balanced out with some very sweet moments (the whole scene with two, jamie, and william wallace going fishing is very fun and again gives a nice little snapshot of two and jamie having this very settled, secure dynamic). AND jamie gets recognised as a basically supernaturally gifted piper which. love to see jamie actually getting to be a musician, love to see him piping without it being the butt of a 'bagpipes suck and everyone hates them' joke.

honourable mentions: that which went away (this is the 'jamie turns into a bear' story I'm always talking about. I do think it has some major issues in terms of weird primitivism, both in terms of the side characters and how it treats jamie, but also. jamie turns into a bear. and two begging him to come back to him is just *chefs kiss*), undercurrents (two vanishes from the tardis and another man mysteriously appears. jamie believes this newcomer has done something to harm two, and very nearly kills him for it. this is one of the few moments where jamie gets really, properly angry and is willing to actually cause harm and I LOVE to see him pushed past the breaking point of his usual moral code), the slave war (two, jamie, ben, and polly in the roman empire. also really good for ben and polly content, but there's some interesting stuff with jamie grappling with the idea of becoming involved in another rebellion, but ending up getting involved anyway)

#replies #anonymous #the tl;dr of this is that there's a lot out there!#but not all of it uses jamie's character well or understands that he's nuanced and not just stupid/the brawn of the team/etc etc etc #anything that DOES understand he's an interesting character in his own right is probably going to pique my interest #& as you can tell the short stories are my favourite bit of eu media gkjfd. probably because they're so character-focused #and many of them do give jamie the interest and dimension he deserves

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glassprism · 2 months

Note

I'm asking this as someone who absolutely ADORES Lucy St. Louis as Christine, do you think Lucy would have been cast as Christine if Covid never happened?

Kelly Mathieson did say at the time that she was going to be leaving at the 2020 Cast Change, so we would have been getting a new Christine regardless

But, I have always had this feeling, due to the other circumstances that occurred in Phantom London at the time, that Lucy St. Louis' casting as Christine was a bit of a "Consolation Prize"/"Compensation?"

Am I alone in this mindset?

I think she would have been cast, but it would have been very different circumstances from how it happened in 2020.

For one thing, IMO COVID-19 and the subsequent shutdown provided a perfect excuse for CamMack and co. to shutter the original West End production and push in their modified version. So had COVID-19 not occurred, the original West End production might very well still be going, albeit with some changes regardless (I know that even before the shutdown, the Golden Angel had stopped working and the technology for it was too old for them to fix, so something might have changed there). So Lucy St Louis might very well have been cast as Christine, and there would probably still have been huge fanfare for her as the first black Christine in Phantom on West End if she was indeed the first, but it would have been as a replacement Christine, perhaps even an alternate, not as the original principal Christine of the West End revival.

But additionally... I do agree with you that Lucy St Louis's casting, right when it was announced that the original West End production had been shut down and they were opening a new, modified version... yeah, it was something of a diversionary marketing practice. I know some people don't like that argument, for understandable reasons, as it seems to downplay Lucy St Louis's considerable talents, her deserved fame now, and all the work it took her to get to where she is now.

But ignoring that most every actor gets where they are through a combination of talent, work, and plain good luck and connections (see, for an extreme example, Katie Knight Adams being cast as Christine because CamMack wanted her in the role), I also don't see this a a knock against Lucy St Louis at all. Rather, it's pointing out what should be obvious now: companies and corporations will use diversity as a marketing tactic. They will! They know it's something people want to see, they know it gives them "virtuous corporation" points or whatever you want to call it, and they know if they do it, people will sigh and go, "Okay, they did so-and-so sucky things, but on the other hand they are trying to be more inclusive and representative of minorities, so I guess they're okay..."

And I think that was exactly what CamMack and co. were doing here: "Okay, the phans are going to be mad at us for doing this, but what if we did this..." It's a case of being mad at the higher-ups for their cynical use of diversity as a marketing ploy and sop to fans, not to downgrade Lucy St Louis (who is also one of my favorite Christines!) or say she was "only" cast because she's black. None of this is on Lucy St Louis, it's on the people in charge of the show, and it just sucks because, just like the circumstances of the West End revival, it creates this pall on her casting which she does not deserve.

And yet... and yet... IMO had the COVID shutdown not happened, I don't think Lucy St Louis would have been cast in 2020; I think hers or similar casting would have occurred far, far later down the line, because as much as ALW and co. were talking a big talk about diversity, it sure wasn't happening that much in Phantom pre-COVID. (Like, whoo, we got Ali Ewoldt, Jordan Donica, and Rodney Ingram in 2016-2017, but do we get anyone else after? Nope. Oh boy, we got our first Asian Raoul in the West End in the year of our Lord 2019 and he's an understudy, let's celebrate guys.)

And I know this is all speculation, I don't know anything about this alternate timeline other than guesses... but it brings up that conundrum of what are we willing to accept. When is casting diversely okay? Is it all right even when it's being done to make money? Should we expect corporations to do it "out of the goodness of their heart"? When are the benefits of representation and helping minorities feel seen outweighed by the fact that this was done for purely marketing practices? It's something I think a lot of people are grappling with in this era. And I don't have an answer for you on that.

#GP gets asks #anonymous

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