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#or gray ace i guess
plantanarchy · 2 years
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happy pride, lads. I've spent years and years trying to parse the weird mess of intersection between my gender, sexuality, and neurotype and at this point it's just like. Queer. But anyway, also asexual, which is a new one.
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My sexual, romantic, and gender identities could all be honestly summarised as "absolutely not, but maybe, in this very extremely specific way that barely makes sense to anyone"
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hauntingjasper · 2 months
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(Headcanon!) Do they know something he doesn't
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vivirrins · 4 months
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My silly tavless BG3 shipping tree that I refuse to elaborate upon
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purple-petrichor · 11 months
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Asexual Gero Masterpost
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Okay so hear me out. I love this series and all of the wacky moments and fun characters within it. And the story of someone trying to find a partner even though they struggle is so, so, so good. And just like many fans, I’m super curious to see how the story will develop, and who Gero will end up with (if anyone). 
But there’s a big point that I’m not sure even the authors are aware of:  Gero is Asexual.
–Evidence below–
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The base definition of Asexuality is when a person experiences little to no sexual attraction. This means that even if a person has libido, fantasies, and positive views on intimate relationships, their natural orientation is little to no sexual attraction to any gender. They may be capable of finding people romantically attractive, and may even desire partnership, however, the mechanisms for finding other people “hot” and experiencing desire for them based off of looks and sexual signals simply aren't there. However, due to how strongly society pushes the idea of instant attraction, and the heteronormative world we all live in, this can be extremely difficult to recognize within oneself. Many asexuals say they didn’t realize their orientation for many years because it wasn’t even known as a possible option. 
In line with this, here are many common Asexual traits and experiences that can be seen with Gero:
>>comfort with singleness
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In the very first chapter, during a conversation with Bug User, Gero states that he’s not really interested in marriage or partnerships. Despite everyone around him naturally pursuing intimacy (his sister with her girlfriend, Bug User with his fiancee), Gero just…doesn’t. His natural conception of self is to be single. He even states that this is a comfortable thought for him, being ‘easier’. It’s possible the manga seems to imply that we should view this as ‘giving up’, but Gero doesn’t seem otherwise depressed or discouraged in his daily life aside from his job. The idea of being unpartnered isn’t one that feels ‘unfulfilling’ for him. It’s only when Gero is given no choice that he makes the decision to actively seek out a partner.
Of course there are many asexuals who do want romantic relationships, and strongly desire companionship, which is why...
>>basing relationships more on emotional bond and other factors than physical attraction
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This emotional outburst is heartbreaking. It’s also very similar to how asexual people tend to talk.
All of these things, all of these ‘desires’ from Gero, all of what he values… are emotional. Not physical. There’s no depiction of sensual actions, not even hugging or kissing. Hell, they’re not even touching in bed! Gero’s face in the imagined scene looks confused, surprised that he’s even there to begin with, rather than the happiness of someone who’s next to their object of desire. 
His natural ‘fantasy’ (if you could call it that) has some random woman essentially act as a placeholder. She doesn’t even have eyes! This is consistent with the fact that many aspec people report finding it difficult to fantasize about people, and if they do, it may occur as vague nebulous scenes, disembodied body parts, or faceless people. A ‘faceless stand-in’ is exactly what Gero is picturing here.
Everything Gero talks about could be provided by a close friend or queer-platonic-partner, not explicitly romantic or sexual in nature. He just wants companionship. He wants someone to care about him. And his way of picturing that doesn’t involve sexual or sensual affection as a base.
>>turning down opportunities
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Here we see Gero literally pushing women off of him. Even when someone is offering sex, it appears to have no interest or temptation. There’s no blush on his cheeks. No sense of ‘that’s appealing but not right now’. Instead, his reaction is a brusque and clear refusal. He’s portrayed as somewhat flustered, and is even so upset that after this he immediately walks right into a glass wall. A professional hitman, not noticing a pane of glass? It must have really thrown him off. 
Now, this refusal could be due to awkwardness, or a commitment to professionalism while on the job. Or, it could be that Gero is just truly not interested. And his flustered reaction comes from being forced into close proximity with something that deep down really isn’t comfortable for him.
>>not experiencing sexual attraction This is the big one! Let’s review that one accidental-grab moment:
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I CANNOT GET OVER THIS PANEL IT LITERALLY SAYS “RELUCTANT”
HIT EM WITH THAT AGAIN GERO
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RELUCTANT
ACCIDENT
NO BIG DEAL
Are those the words of a man who secretly wants to be physical with women?
The world instructs men to brag about and exaggerate their sexual interactions with women. Why? For the sake of ‘cool’ points: to be seen as popular, desirable, masculine. And yet, when Gero touches a woman here, instead of getting an ego-boost, his immediate instinct is to *minimize what’s happening*. All of his thoughts are about how uncomfortable he is, and trying to escape the significance of the situation. Downplay (it’s just the back of my hand), distance (A total accident, no big deal). The word that stands out here is UNWILLING. There’s not any psychological reward in this. Only psychological stress.
And sure, you could make the argument that he’s just inexperienced and self-conscious, but still. This…isn’t the reaction of someone who ‘could’ enjoy it in another circumstance. This is the inner dialogue of a person who is hyper-aware of what the world would say about this situation, and about him, and is immediately turned off, nervous, self-conscious, and negative towards that idea. This lack of reaction from Gero is further highlighted here:
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Bro that’s not arousal, that’s awkwardness. He literally turns away a woman flirting and directs her towards another man instead. This isn’t inexperienced fumbling. This is feeling cornered and turning to panic. You don't exactly get any sense that Gero’s enjoying the pictures. Not even a passing comment like ‘nice’ or something.
For asexual people, there can be this weird ‘layered’ viewing of the world sometimes. You’re aware of what narratives the world has, how things work. You know what situations, phrases, and body parts tend to get strong reactions from people. You become hyper-aware of how you’re expected to act, and what actions you’re expected to enjoy, as a person of your assigned gender. Not to mention how certain actions around sex will raise or lower your status in the eyes of others.
And yet, when you realize more and more that your internal reactions are…not according to those pre-established lines….you can get really flustered and nervous. It’s not appreciation that Gero demonstrates here. This is pressure and embarrassment.
He follows the accidental-touch by asking Kinosaki what to do, because maybe he genuinely doesn’t have any internal desire about what to do next. So he defaults to someone with stronger instincts. Just as he ends up doing a second time with the swimsuit pics.
>>feeling like you’re ’broken’ or different from other people
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Gero repeatedly seems to set himself aside from ‘normal people’. In his case, his excuse is that he’s ‘too damaged’, traumatized and manipulated since childhood to kill others and view the world through a rotten lens. And while that may be true (and questions about trauma or past experiences are sometimes relevant to asexuals in real life!), that’s hardly enough. Gero feels different, ‘seperate’ from others. “What makes you think I can”? I “could never do that”? There’s some kind of baseline rift that Gero feels; something related to him processing love and partnership differently than the norm. (And sure, within the series’ universe, this is done under the excuse of his hitman-upbringing. But did Gero “avoid love and women”, or was the draw never quite big enough to go after? )
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(Side note: technically this has notes of being Aromantic, not Asexual. But in a society which pushes the narrative that both those attractions are the same thing, it’s easy to mistake lack of urge towards one with lack of interest in all. Or, like Gero, you may come to believe you aren’t good at relationships as a whole.)
>>not picking up on signals from others
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Yup, Arashiyama was not shy about her feelings for Gero. And she was obviously designed to have looks that strike the audience as “sexy”. So it was a very interesting point of the series when neither her body nor her clothing were commented on in any way. Most notably, they didn’t seem to have any effect on Gero at all. 
Look at that reaction panel: Truly he doesn’t care. We don’t see a ‘blushing but hold it down and ignore it’ reaction; he’s not drawn with any blush at all. Gero is not portrayed as holding anything back around Arashiyama. He just truly doesn't feel any reaction to her signals.
In addition, this:
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OH THE GLASSES
OH ITS THE GLASSES YOU’RE MAD ABOUT
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SO HE DID HAVE A POINT OF VIEW THAT INCLUDED ALL THIS
SO HE DID SEE THAT 
BUT GERO DOESN’T REACT AT ALL
DOESN’T EVEN BRING IT UP
Honestly I don’t believe women and female bodies have any natural effect on Gero at all at this point, haha, he might be black stripe. That’s the thing about asexuals–we’re not stupid or unable to understand common flirting methods. They just doesn't usually trigger much of a reaction.
>>being confused or out of place in the world
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As early as chapter 1, we watch Gero staring at Kinosaki while walking down the street, as they kiss and seduce another man.
One of the most common asexual experiences is a sense of wondering why people act the way they do. Why do people make such silly decisions? Why are they all so intense about sex? What is this hivemind they all share? Many asexuals report believing that people were “faking it” for most of their lives. Either they were broken, or the asexual person had to be. 
This stare from Gero, enough to walk into a wall and break his glasses with the force of it, seems to me like that kind of asexual fascination. A kind of non-understanding, a kind of calculated curiosity about the world. What are they doing? I mean he knows what, but why? Why doesn’t he feel that way- (SMACK)
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>>genuinely believing it’s not that important to people
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In early chapters, Gero doesn’t seem to grant coupling the same sort of ‘weight’ that others do. He seems to have no instinctual discomfort with ‘missing out’ on common life markers. As shown here, he acknowledges and honors his sister’s relationship. But for himself, he views being single without children as an equally legitimate path in life. Even his younger sister picks up on the unspoken demand–that the family expects them to have children, once they reach marriageable age. But Gero just…doesn’t. Or doesn’t take the possibility seriously. He really seems to assume the world will just relax and accept him being unpartnered. His entire bloodline will die out. And that’s fine, right? After all, it's not like reproducing and seeking intimacy are deep-seated desires in most peoples’ basic instincts, right?
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I mean come on. This is basically a common ace joke.
>>assuming you do feel attraction because XYZ
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In the absence of strong attraction, it is very common to mistake other feelings in its place. For example, many asexuals spend years assuming they do have sexual feelings for people, when in actuality it was factors such as aesthetic attraction (admiring a person’s looks) or romantic attraction (feeling romantically drawn to a person) all along. People have also reported ‘overanalysis’ of their own reactions–this person is kind to me, and they look nice, and I care about them, so that means I’m madly attracted to them, right?
Here we see Gero fall into the same trap of overanalysis. He felt a rapid heartbeat, and some physical reaction, that must mean this is love, right? Throughout the entire series, Gero seems to be assuming he’s straight because, after all, he gets nervous around women. 
Of course you get nervous, you’re new to social situations, bro. Of course you get nervous, she’s placing expectations on you and you desperately want to meet them. Of course you get nervous, this is a lot of emotion suddenly thrown at you. Of course you get nervous, you’ve been put under pressure to view all women as potential wife material. But is this good-arousal nervousness, or negative-stress-response nervousness? Signs point to the latter.
>>proximity to queerness
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This is a more subtle point, but important nonetheless. 
We know that Gero appears supportive of queerness in general. He has a sister who is wlw, and actively supports their relationship. Furthermore, he shows no hate towards Kinosaki for his gender and gender expression, after an initial adjustment period.
It is very common for ace-spec people to feel vaguely aligned with LGBT+ issues, even if they don’t feel like they have “enough” solid evidence to identify as queer themselves. Often ace people report assuming that they were simply a highly-invested supportive ally. It’s possible that Gero is in the same situation–comfortable with queerness, accepting of different ways of life, but because of marginal interest in women and needing to find a partner, he doesn’t recognize the ways in which he himself stands markedly outside the straight norm.
>>But most importantly this date:
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DEMI???
DEMI???
MY BOY YOU ARE DEMI!!!
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Demisexual. A subset of asexuality. A sexual orientation in which a person cannot feel sexual attraction to others unless a strong emotional bond is formed. Forming an emotional bond is not a guarantee of attraction developing, however, it is necessary for the person to even begin to feel sexual interest in the first place.
This is…I’m still stunned by this scene. Honestly this is the most direct example of a demisexual/demiromantic male character that I’ve ever witnessed, and it may not have even been intentional. I probably couldn’t write something this direct or skilled about it, and I’m close to demi myself!! It’s truly astounding. I remember reading this chapter the first time and my jaw dropped, totally stunned, in recognition. This is how I think. This is how my mind tends to naturally think about relationships. This is almost on-the-nose textbook demisexuality. 
Gero you are demi!! Please realize!!
– – – – – 
So yeah this is what I think. Given all the evidence at hand, and how consistently Gero has been portrayed so far, his actions and tendencies would match being on the asexual spectrum. If it were canon, that would be incredible–these moments alone would make him one of the most stunning examples of a male asexual character in manga, hell, in all of fiction today.
Given the strong similarities, I wonder if the author/artist are possibly aware of this. They do have queer characters in terms of Gero’s sister (and arguably Kinosaki). So there’s a chance they may have heard of asexuality or aromanticism as well. …But also the chances seem low. A mainstream shonen publication? How much more queer content can they push. A battle manga based around romance? Wouldn't help much to make your main character incapable of certain kinds of attraction. And yet…god I wish. The more time goes on and the more chapters stay within these bounds, I keep wondering if there could be a chance.
Anyway each chapter that we’ve seen so far has only reinforced and continued these traits, so. <3 Asexual Gero is canon to me now thanks y’all can jump onboard!
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intersexshez · 1 year
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ageusia pride flag set
please reblog & credit to use!
in order: lesbian, gay, bi / trans, intersex, nonbinary / ace, aro, agender
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not completely allosexual, not completely asexual, but a secret third thing (bro neither of these make sense to me)
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blissfulanguish · 10 months
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“I want to make you feel good.”
If there was anyone that occupied his mind even more than his Lord and Light did, regrettably, it was his brother. Even when he wanted nothing but to fill his restless, calculating mind with pleasurable fantasies of finally dying at the hands of his Angel- Somehow the other blonde managed to completely sour those moments. The fact that he even existed set his teeth on edge, made his shoulders tight with astriction, heated the pit of his chest with a hellish resentment he'd never once tasted so bitterly before.
No matter how many times Vash refused him, even bringing his God Almighty to the verge of death itself, His Eternal Radiance would always favor his twin- Would always love him more than he even passingly spared a thought for Legato. He'd once thought himself special, he wasn't like the others due to lacking any kind of number. He was entrusted to see that his Lord's will was carried out come what may, hinged upon his every word and offer of wisdom, truly and deeply cared for him with an ardor unmatched. Where fools like the Punisher saw blind loyalty, he knew where he stood with Lord Knives'.
Once.
Bluesummers never feels things with only half of his heart. When there is love, it is as vast and terrifyingly deep as the oceans that once covered the Earth. When there is hatred, it is as fierce and exuberant as the very fires of Hell itself. When and where did the line of distinction between the two begin to blur? How is it that he finds himself locked in an intimate embrace with the very person who possesses everything that he yearns and pines for, yet appreciates none of it?
He wanted to strangle the life out of that pale, pretty throat with both of his trembling hands, instead his tongue laves a wet stripe from the join of clavicles to the underside of his willing prey's chin. His incisors bite down against a hammering pulse point, fingers rending clothes and clawing possessively at bare flesh, flushed pink and bruising reddish-purple beneath his grip.
There is a moment where steely hands close over his wrists and his stomach flips on itself, a brief shot of pure animal panic coursing through his veins. He's being shushed with muffled, open-mouthed kisses- Peppering his lips, chin, jaw, the apple of each cheek. Legato's frenzied hunger and instinctual fear of being bound is quieted with gentle touches and slower exploration of his own body, fingers pressing into the natural centerline of his sternum, skirting over the broadness of his chest.
The admission spoken between them in hushed, reverent whispers somehow makes him hyperaware of their closeness, the way Vash laces their long, slender fingers together and rubs the pad of his thumb against Legato's lower lip with featherlight strokes. He's unsure how to answer at first, so accustomed to others simply taking what they wanted, his own desperation and need for control subsiding in the moment. His golden eyes widen slightly, searching his partner's expression and finding nothing along the lines of cruelty or possessiveness, nor the desire to humiliate or hurt him. Nothing, save for a tender kind of warmth to his features, an earnest desire to make his intentions known to Bluesummers before proceeding.
Taking a slow, deep breath into his expanding lungs, he closes his eyes and dares to place himself in Vash's attentive care- Leaning into the hand cupping his chin and nodding faintly.
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jacqcrisis · 5 months
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Why is it is, despite not being cis or het or strictly a man, my first thought when I see a 'cishet men DNI' is 'oh no that me I g2g'
My second thought of 'that's an annoying t3rf adjacent thing to have on your DNI list' is more understandable but I don't understand why the first one happens Every. Time.
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fuckin-sick-bih · 5 months
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zenith is on spotify i'm screaming
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givehimthemedicine · 1 year
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off your post about el's cuddling can you write abot how you do see adult elmax would handle the sexual part of a relationship when max is allo and el is asexual. i have faith you could explore that tactfully.
thanks for the vote of confidence. I've actually kinda been chewing on a future-set ficlet broaching this, but I just don't know if we wanna go there at all (I'm not looking to write anything spicy even if they're adults, but just exploring a potential dynamic). gotta give it some thought
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Anyone else disturbed and annoyed when your one (1) Random Attraction to a bodypart per year comes around?
I turned my head to follow a 'dorito-shaped back on a person shorter than me' before I even realized they were a whole-ass person and now I feel like a giant perv.
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iveleveledup · 11 months
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anyone else flopping between am I grayace or demisexual because on one hand yes on the other absolutely not and then again maybe if it was that particular person an absolutely not could turn into a maybe
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paintedlight · 2 years
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not me realizing I’m on the aro spectrum randomly just now
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hauntingblue · 4 months
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Watching the opening and I am not crying this is progress
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bergamotmandarin · 6 months
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holy shit, not being on here for a few weeks and coming back really does feel like getting back to your bedroom after being on a long vacation
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