#or isolation i guess

[silentalltheseyearsnomore]

Loneliness may be the worst of feelings.

#or isolation i guess #i know i have friends #i just #cant talk to anyone #and nothing makes it better #it needs to be someone in our heart properly #which is so rare #or at least someone who gets it #and no one in our life gets it #no one has DID or knows about RA or really knows most of us #except k and we know shes been wildly abusive #and i know the only way to change it is to.... meet new people #people who live close by #and for people who get it i guess it has to be online #but then you have to build those connections and i need someone now #like right nkw #i dont want to be alone in the world anymore

[sterekcraptrash]

it’s that time of the year (sketch dump time)

stiles is talking nonsense and derek’s amused

#sterek #derek hale #stiles stilinski #teen wolf #eternalsterek #ive been feeling like shit lately #and i keep isolating myself #miss my cats #sorry the last time i was here was like 3 months ago #my art #cant wait for down by contact part 4 bitches i noticed siand saying in the comments it’s happening rn #i guess i have a reason to keep living

[f1shart]

normaltown pt 2 also HOW HAS IT ALREADY BEEN 1 YEAR

IT HAS BEEN. SO LONG SINCE I LAST DREW THESE TWO. and it's barely even them tbh WHATEVER

i had the brilliant idea to combine the personality swaps with my anniversary post, so bam. the ship that got me playing the sims 2 in the first place and instead here i am frolicking the fields with tanmeric and tycutio every single day 😭 sighhhh i have tarnished their name, their reputation... how will they ever recover... i'm sorry pasnerv nervscal pavorious anxious-curiosity pascal x nervous i love you i love you

neways. it's been a rocky 2023 irl, but on here everyone was literally so damn kind. there was such COOL inspiring art i saw (i literally would not have improved as much as i did without it) and i ended up making the bestest buds ever and met other awesome people too ^_^!! so thank you to everyone in this gay ass fandom 💝💘💗

here's the og art btw OMG DON'T LOOK!!!!!! 🤢🤢😬😓

who gave this old man the camera smh

HE'S SO 😞😞💓💓💓💓

#ts2 fanart #<- throwback to when i used to tag my art this. i became so lazy 🥱 #nervous subject #pascal curious #tycho curious #strangetown #shart #sims 2 #i don't think it's really registered in my mind that it's ACTUALLY BEEN A YEAR. THAT'S INSANE #i remember checking my phone a while after posting my og fanart and seeing those first 4 notifications... legendary feeling #coming from twitter where 0 people gave a SHIT and it was so isolating 😢 (plus there barely was/is a sims 2 fandom there anyway) #just realized nerv's left arm is in the exact same position in both pieces #art imitates art i guess

[foli-vora]

hi—

so i’ll be saying farewell to foli this year. as much as i’m proud and so in love with what i’ve created here, she’s starting to give me major stress headaches and i simply can’t deal. this started out fun and sweet, but it has increasingly created bigger and bigger issues for me and it’s no longer a space i find comfort and peace in, so i think it’s time for me to move on.

i thought about deleting this blog, or slowly morphing away from what i’ve been doing here, but it didn’t feel right. i know it’s just a blog, but it still means something to me.

should you still wish to visit/follow little ol’ me, i’ll now be living over here. i’ll still be the normal unhinged foli that loves talking filth, just now under a different name with a shiny new corner of the internet/main blog.

this blog will stay up so you can still read my organised pile of trash that i know some of you enjoy, and i’ll probably still continue to write because i do love it, but it won’t be promised or often, and it’ll mostly be ao3 focused in other fandoms, and not so much surrounding the pedro fandom anymore.

i will be wrapping everything up here, so don’t worry about any unfinished series’—i wouldn’t do that to you lmao. thank you for the good times here, angels. i appreciate each and every one of you. hope to see you over on the new side. ily 💖

#a long time coming i think #my brain just doesn’t have what it used to #and i’m sorry for disappointing you for so long #i know i promised so much and delivered so little #the love was there #the mentality wasn’t i guess? #it’s lonely and isolating being a fic writer now #but things change and it’s okay #it was good while it lasted

[furiousgoldfish]

I know scientifically, and reasonably, that isolation is a form of torture, but it's so hard to conceptualize it when it's so familiar and I've reached for it over and over again as a form of relief from the torture. Why am I longing for what others consider intolerable.

#trauma symptoms #trauma aftermath #isolation #neglect #there's 1 person in my vicinity today and i can't handle it #i wanna go back to not speaking to anyone for months #that felt more normal to me #and i guess my isolation is self imposed so it's not a punishment #and it cannot be called torture #and it's not a rest either because in isolation the alters will start throwing big tantrums #but there's no judgment to fret #no danger to be wary of #no fear of being additionally hurt #and i need that

[casstars]

late night calls from Kurain village

#I KINDA DONT LIKE THIS cause I was tryin out another style but. ah well #my art #ace attorney #Aa #Aa trilogy #Ace attorney trilogy #phoenix wright ace attorney #maya fey #Maya ace attorney #ace attorney fanart #gyakuten saiban #kinda experimental but I needed practice with a....tamer colour scheme I guess #Anyway. thinking about all the time Maya spends isolated in Kurain without Mia or Phoenix or her mother

[finisnihil]

I hate when characters I don’t like grow on me like fungus because if I extend even a moment of analysis toward them they just latch onto my brain and infect it. Like no Aventurine I don’t care how much pathetic wet cat energy you have I’m warding you off with a steel chair stop being more interesting the more I think about the implications of your lore

#honkai star rail #aventurine #I automatically don’t trust characters that work for the IPC directly #And I guess I was expecting him to be like Topaz #Who works for them voluntarily and thinks they’re the best thing ever #But Aventurine seems to be very isolated and his working for the IPC doesn’t seem to be of his own volition #I might do an analysis on him some time when we know more #But he’s growing on me

[catadromously]

here. go listen to body to flame by lucy dacus.

#I keep looking for someone who’s uploaded it on tumblr. guess I must take matters into my own hands now #top 10 songs that eviscerate you in public #it’s about having a History its about defying definition its about the blurred edge between intimacy and isolation #and whether it’s even possible to know another person! it’s ABOUT when you’d do anything for someone and how terrible that really is #fellas I am clawing at the walls #cata fm

[candyheartedchy]

Feeling disconnected again…

#im trying not to isolate myself but I been finding myself pulling away from folks again #maybe I’m just tired but idk #like I been feeling fine and drawing helps as an outlet #but when I go a day without drawing I end up feeling terrible #and I been noticing I haven’t been engaging a lot lately either which I’m mad about #like I’ll scroll a bit maybe post art and asks and then disappear #but also I been feeling like I’m gonna embarrass myself around people again #so if y’all have noticed me interacting less in servers or not as talkative in dms that’s why #vent #I guess??? #I mean it’s more of just me noticing this lately and wanted to let y’all know that I just been feeling off lately #ventish #💬 chy chatter 💬

[orionsangel86]

.

#I know this is gonna come across as a bit pathetic #but I was already feeling a bit untethered today #wondering if I actually have a purpose here #ever since I came back to tumblr after my 4 month break I've felt very alone here #it feels a bit like everyone moved on without me #and I dunno i guess I hoped I'd be able to dive right back in again and just start engaging and enjoying it #but honestly I have been plagued with anxiety and intrusive thoughts about not being wanted #and the last thing I needed was some asshole anon #I'm already wondering if people are finding my event annoying #like maybe i should just shut up and quit #but I really fucking like doing this stuff I just wish I didn't feel so isolated #I'm being stupid i know #you should never trust how you feel about yourself after 9pm #but bleurgh its a horrible feeling #shut up saz

[savemygrades]

Uni is meant to be the best years of your life? Well fuck me do I have a shitty life then.

#like this is the best?? #you're telling me it'll go lower than this #that it CAN go lower than this #constant breakdowns #crying on a weekly basis #breakdown after breakdown #it's so isolating #guess it's my fault that i feel that way #ive isolated myself #anyways #fuck this #uni #university #college #student

[kumapillow]

Someone finally said it (sorry Fujiwara 😅😭)

Kurono is way, way worse than a jealous boyfriend though

#my new boss is goofy #atarashii joushi wa do tennen #atarashii joushi wa dotennen #spoilers #dotennen spoilers #do tennen #anime #episode 11 #just how powerful is kurono in that company though? #if momose did get along with some colleagues there and even they weren’t able to help him? #I guess kurono isolated momose so much that momose thought asking for help is fruitless…? #I apologize if this comes off as insensitive of me

[obscenity]

on love and isolation

greta gerwig and florence welch for w magazine / all i know about gertrude stein, jeanette winterson / the jacaranda years, yiwei chai / excuses for why we failed at love, warsan shire / maybe you should talk to someone: a therapist, her therapist, and our lives revealed, lori gottlieb / you’re not making the most of your 20s, ryan o’connell /  a little devil in america: notes in praise of black performance, hanif abdurraqib

#another one because im insane. #main theme isnt about szpd but it is very much related 2 my own experience as a schizoid so take it as you will i guess #web weaving #parallels #words #schizoid personality disorder #schizoid #szpd #scpd #isolation #love #☔ #mine

[haunted-xander]

Girls when they are irreperably shaped by their circumstances

+ the sketch bc I liked it :3

#i will never be normal about ryne ever. i am physically incapable of being normal about her #like she has ALL the things that Get Me in a character #a shitty isolated childhood. family issues. identity issues. guilt and grief. is Special in a way that hurts her more than anything #she has trouble getting that sense of belonging and shes never know how to 'fit in' #be it in society as a whole or even just the little found family shes been integrated to #and also the dichotomy of her being a sweet passive girl who is also badass and uses sick ass daggers #i loooove her so so much #OH ALSO. venat shiva ysayle & minfilias arms are cradling her :) bc she is following in their steps but ALSO is doing it as HERSELF #she is doing it as RYNE and RYNE ONLY #very important #ryne waters #uuum how the FUCK do i tag eden shiva #uh well #shiva #i GUESS #um #eden shiva #???? #final fantasy #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv #ff14 #ffxiv #art #my art #xanders art #digital art #fan art #xander being insane about ryne

[ride-a-dromedary]

the darkest of nights, in truth, still dazzles.

a halsin fanmix  [listen]

01. Heart of Spring - david arkenstone | 02. Cé Hé Mise Le Ulaingt? / The Two Trees - loreena mckennit | 03. Pussywillows, Cat-tails - gordon lightfoot | 04. Maybe Tomorrow - f&m | 05. Don't Stop Me Now - queen | 06. I Was Born Under a Wand'rin' Star  - bryn terfel  | 07. A Tenuous Bond - derek duke | 08. Closer - nine inch nails | 09.  Into the Darkness - jeremy soule  | 10.  Colorblind - counting crows | 11. Natural Light - ludovico einaudi | 12. Under the Greenwood Tree - royal shakespeare company | 13. The Grove - bear mccreary | 14. Blood Upon the Snow - hozier & bear mccreary | 15. A Quiet Darkness - houses | 16. Spellplague - alderfall | 17. Empty Chairs at Empty Tables - jonathan antoine | 18. Only Everyone Can Judge Me - crywank | 19. Blue Skies - kathryn calder | 20. The Buzzard - old blind dogs | 21. Constant Craving - k.d. lang | 22. The Cave - mumford and sons | 23. Jim Cain - bill callahan | 24. I Won't Back Down - johnny cash | 25. The Ash Grove - laura wright | 26. The Wind - yusuf/cat stevens | 27. To Someone From A Warm Climate (Uiscefhuarithe) - hozier | 28. The Logical Song - supertramp | 29. Tapestry - don mclean | 30. Big Yellow Taxi - joni mitchell | 31. Eat Your Young (Bekon's Choral Version) - hozier | 32. The Flock - david maxxim micic | 33. Changes - david bowie | 34. Ri Na Cruinne - clanaad | 35. The Moments of Happiness - ken page | 36. My Back Pages - the byrds | 37. If This Journey - tom hanford | 38. Turn! Turn! Turn! (To Everything There is a Season) - Live - pete seeger

#BG3 Musing #BG3 Fanmix #Halsin BG3 #Halsin #Halsin Posting #my fanmix #i give up this is about as done as it will ever be - i've been talking about this enough i need to get it away from me #i could have made at least one or two other playlists with the number of songs i cut from this #there were some things that hurt me to cut but i figured others had them in their playlists so they're out there #(the impossible dream you will always be famous i am so sorry :(() #i had three goals with this 1. make it more of a timeline in that it follows a narrative order (which hopefully is easy enough to follow) #(it makes sense to me about as much as it is ever going to lol) #2. try to avoid using songs that other individuals have used in their playlists (with a handful of exceptions - i highly encourage you also #take a listen to the others around! lots of good stuff and i figured if you were missing it from this one you can find another with it) #(and if i did use one the context might be different #'closer here is being used in a different way than i usually see it - it's putting more emphasis on the 'you can have my isolation' bit use #in context of the matron and patron for example) #and 3. focus as much as possible on non-romance path elements of halsin's character - i.e. again that's a topic that is highly explored #in other fanmixes to great success - this one is about the childhood he references and the adventures and the capture in the underdark #and the shadow curse and the burying of people he loved and the uptaking of the archdruid position and the healing he did #and possibly did not do #and the radicalization he comes into when his goals are met and he's faced with injustices #and the struggle he has of redefining himself and figuring out who he is after all of it #hopefully the 'eras' are clearly defined but hey it's all gravy from here #honestly if there is one song to listen to that encapsulates halsin for me it's tapestry - highly recommend that #anyway i am blabbing - let the lyrics and such talk for themselves jemi please #but if fanmixes aren't your speed have a kinda nice edit i guess #edit: now with bonus song i just had to add after shamefully forgetting it

[diegohargreeves1989]

You know, the umbrella academy did not have to go as hard as it did for the character introductions

Like Viktor Hargreeves playing the phantom of the opera medley on violin as each sibling gets a minute of focus whilst informing us exactly what kind of people they are? Unrivaled

#we get to see Diego as bargain Batman for the first time #Luther isolated on the moon honestly did tell us a lot about his character #Klaus getting out of rehab only to get back in and holy shit he dies in the ambulance too #Allison just taking pictures I guess on the red carpet??? it’s too late for me to properly analyze that #the umbrella academy #tua #umbrella academy