#or like. Are Nonbinary People Actually Nonbinary

[spitblaze]

Okay I've witnessed it happening enough in Queer Internet Circles that I think I can confidently say something about it.

Can we PLEASE stop picking arbitrary lgbt+ demographics out of a hat and having entire conversations about how they 'aren't actually queer' and 'taking valuable resources' for the crimes of 'some of them are cringe' or 'some of them are assholes' or 'they have a nebulous privilege over the rest of us so they're the oppressor, actually'.

Like look, some conversations are absolutely worth having. There's a lot of transmasc shitheads who latch on to toxic masculinity or seem to completely forget what it's like to navigate a world that considers you a woman, or completely fail to realize that being transgender yourself doesn't suddenly mean you don't have to examine yourself for internalized transphobia or transmisogyny. And that should be addressed, every community has its issues, no community is a monolith, no demographic is made up of entirely good smart righteous people or evil bad oppressive abusers. Obviously.

But I'm not talking about that!

I'm talking about people bringing up the same tired rhetoric they used when they tried to claim that nonbinary people are clout-chasing attention seekers who will keep cishet society from taking the rest of us seriously, that people used when they decided asexuals were actually cishets who co-opted our movement for their own personal gain, which was recycled from when people tried to claim that bisexuals are het-passing fakers and if a REAL queer has sex with one they'll be left for a cishet because that's what bisexuals do, which is the same as the shit they spewed at whoever the target was before that! It's paranoid nonsense all the way down, people looking for an acceptable target to take their shit put on!

Can we stop doing this, please?? Can we stop picking demographics within our own community that people arbitrarily decide are fine to bully and mock and kick out of the spaces they helped create because you think that they're cringe or that speaking about the issues they face is privileged whining? Can we stop giving bigoted cishets free reign on already vulnerable communities because someone arbitrarily decided that THESE queers are evil and cringe so its okay to make shitty comments and jokes about them? Can we PLEASE stop the cycle in its tracks while we can still see the crosshairs moving onto tranfems and trans women? We can stop this now before it starts getting uglier and deadlier, but we HAVE to be aware and do more than complaining about it online.

#spitblaze says things #and im ESPECIALLY worried because i have an extremely bad feeling that the next target is gonna be transfems and trans women #so KNOCK THAT SHIT OFF! ALL OF YOU!!! #long post #i have been wrong before! i will be wrong again! im not a spokesperson or an authority im just noticing trends #THAT HAVE ME VERY FUCKING CONCERNED #ugh. i feel like i should stop making posts about queer community stuff. i probably should for my mental health #but mostly it feels like i dont have any place to talk. unsure if thats true or anxiety brainworms but. #its never brought me anything except frustration and anguish anyway so. dont expect more original posts on the subject

[your-queer-dad]

Can you be a trans man and not trans masc? Sorry if this is a stupid question, I’m just feeling a little confused about my identity. In a lot of ways I dress kinda androgynously but definitely more masculine than ever feminine. I don’t feel like a super binary man, but I still feel like I am a MAN. It seems like for nonbinary men, transmasc is often used? But I’m not sure how much I actually identify with the label, bc I don’t really feel like I am super super masculine?? I feel more like a man who just likes more androgynous things? I also like a lot of things generally associated with femininity liek long hair and painting my nails. But idk. Maybe I’m just getting confused and this is just semantics but I’m feeling very uncertain rn I don’t even know if this ask makes sense I’m sorry

Hey kiddo, thank you for reaching out, it's a really good question and I'll try and explain how I see it from my own perspective as a transmasc myself. Labels and words that we use to describe ourselves are there to describe our own personal experience of the world and our identities to others without a fifty page essay on how we feel. Sometimes not every one fits, even if others think it's supposed to, and that's okay.

Transmasc is an umbrella term for genderqueer people who feel connected to masculinity, so it's really up to the person whether they chose to use it or not. You can 100% be a trans guy and not be transmasc. Only you can control how you identify and you should go with what feels most comfortable and most like you.

I'm so proud of you, I love you and I hope you have an amazing day.

- dad x

#lgbt #finch rambles #lgbtq #lgbtqia #queer positivity #trans #transgender #trans joy #ask a finch!

[bottlecapsandotherthings]

YOU KNOW WHAT??!! Enough is enough.

I am horrified at the amount of TERFS on this site who actually HATE men. Tags like "men are the worst", "it's okay to hate men", "men dont deserve anything", and "all men are the problem" are tags that actually exist.

I am a transmasc AFAB they/them nonbinary ace lesbian.

I fucking hate these TERFS.

I literally have so many men in my life that I love. My grandpa, my uncle, my cousins. The random guy who headpats me everytime he sees me. Always makes me smile. My badass teacher. And of course, all of my male fictional blorbos.

Do these fuckers not understand that hating men literally makes them no better than the misogynists of the sixteen-hundreds? All they are doing is reversing the genders.

Men are awesome. Platonically, I think that they are easier to get along with then women. My school bros do not be judgemental. They give me fistbumps and smile at me and know what my ace pride pin means without making a big deal out of it in front of others.

If I ever came out as nonbinary to anyone besides my grandparents, it would be to one of my male schoolmates. Again, they are my bros.

Men are awesome. If you think that I am a misogynist for saying that, then you are "probably" a TERF. Fuck off. Take one look at my school bros and tell me that you still hate men. I dare you. Stop believing in stupid stereotypes like TERFS do and respect men.

And women.

And enbies.

And any other gender.

Do not be a misandrist. Love men. They are humans, too, you know, and they deserve love and respect, you know, as humans. Because people of any gender are still lovable humans.

#tw misandry #tw terfs #vent post #hugs to all of my bros because men are awesome!

[castielfucks]

theres actually no rules to transitioning and youre allowed to want contradictory things for your transition. it's fine if you only want some of the changes that come with hrt and take preventative measures for the rest (like wanting bottom growth but not body hair or vice versa). you can want to have vagina AND a dick. you can be a woman and want top surgery, or wear a packer. you can be a man and want to have a pussy. you can change your transition goals one or a million times or not have any goals at all and just take things as they come or as they feel right.

there are no rules.

#the whole point of transitioning is to finally feel like yourself and do what feels good and authentic #and actually same for cis people #you can do whatever you want even if its not what other people expect of you or consider normal for you #transmasc #transgender #trans man #genderfluid #nonbinary #agender #multigender #bigender #transfem #trans woman #hrt #queer #genderqueer #lgbt #lgbtqia #neos #xenogender #trans #just trans things #advice #1k #2k #3k #4k #5k #trans pride #6k

[nothorses]

after having an entire hour long conversation with my coworkers about what "degendering" is, and the importance of using trans people's pronouns when you know them- rather than always defaulting to "they/them" no matter what- and still getting "they/them"ed by people I trusted not to fucking do that to me, I have decided that the name and pronouns circle of introductions for new additions to the group will now include the very clearly stated boundary that they do not use "they/them" pronouns for me.

your move, cowards!

#the positive end of this is that i happened to be the first non-cis person to introduce myself in the circle #and two nonbinary(?) people after me both followed suit & elaborated on like #which pronouns were okay AND which pronouns they actually preferred people use for them/how they use them #which was really cool!! #usually they've just given the list of which ones were okay #so it was nice to have the detailed insight and also nice to see them asset boundaries

[uncanny-tranny]

A few tips for young trans men/boys, transmascs, anybody who wants tips:

If somebody makes you insecure about your masculinity or manhood, 9/10 times, they're trying to sell you something (and the "something" won't be worth you fretting about)

Wash your face before shaving and use a good shaving cream. Always make sure your razors are sharp

Your body doesn't need to look like a Hollywood star's body. They are most certainly dehydrated, and they are not a realistic depiction of a masculine or male form

Dress in whatever way is most comfortable, including dressing like Adam Sandler

Military-grade is often used as a marketing scheme, save your money

If you aren't happy right now, one day you will be. This is a threat and a promise

Your emotions are not "good" or "bad," they are emotions. Let yourself feel them even if they are uncomfortable

Masculinity and/or being a man are yours to define, and I cannot stress how important it is to have a relationship with your masculinity and/or manhood that is defined by you

You're allowed to have any relationship with your pre-coming out self that you want or makes the most sense with your realization that you're trans

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #nonbinary #trans advice #am i the only one who actually appreciates the Adam Sandler Drip #i feel like trans people absolutely kill that look ☝️👍

[thehealingsystem]

It's so wild to me that as a community we're still so hostile to multigender and genderfluid people existing in gay and lesbian spaces.

You...are aware that people who are both men and women are allowed to be gay, right? And lesbian? Their other genders doesn't cancel their connection to womanhood, or manhood, or whatever else they id with. They are allowed to be gay despite their fem-alignment, and they are allowed to be lesbian despite their masc-alignment.

It comes from these weird online spaces that the standard to be gay or lesbian is to be a "non-woman" or a "non-man," which is inherently transmultiphobic and...extremely ahistorical. And completely misunderstands nonbinary identity. So if you're both then you just don't belong anywhere I suppose.

#they treat these people as abnormal when really shoving anyone into categories of non-women and non-men is fucking #completely out of touch with how identity works #like i saw a demiboy lesbian flag and the comments are just FILLED with teenage queers getting so mad for no reason #saying shit like im in your walls or your father left you or whatever #please this is so CHILDISH grow UP #multigender #genderfluid #gay #lesbian #lesboy #turigirl #queer #lgbtq #just a he/they transmasc nonbinary boydyke lesbian VERY tired of this nonsense #actually erasure of multigender experience and that one of our genders will cancel out the other #made me very resistant to the fact that i may still be connected to feminity and girlhood #even though i am undoubtedly am #transmultiphobia

[waterghostype]

i thought this was a beautiful nonbinary lesbian but it’s just morro from ninjago

#still a nonbinary lesbian i just wasnt expecting it to be him #ninjago #lego ninjago #ninjago morro #morro ninjago #morro wu #is that really what the people call him #ninjago euphrasia #euphrasia ninjago #i realize this has p much the exact same composition as my movie pixal art so sorryyyy…. #ive been totally busy lately but i procrastinated by drawinf this so eh #no but actually i have finals in like a week im not gonna make it #design is super totally simplified bc once again #you could hold me at gunpoint and tell me to try and understand how to interpret minifigures #and i would ask you to shoot #though this was heavily inspired by a morro design i saw once upon a time BUT IDK WHERE IT WENT!!!! #aphid artisms #i like morro but i dont like his haircut so i gave him the filipino lesbian semblance #yay for morro

[weaver-z]

That one post going around that says something like "The line between attraction to femboys and attraction to trans girls is thin!" makes me so uncomfortable. Like. No it's not. That's a very solid line, actually. I can confirm this as a certified lesbian who very much likes trans women.

#the line is pretty solid for most people actually #just clarifying: this post is not about nonbinary transfemmes or genderfluid transfemmes but specifically about binary trans women #(like my pal who was upset about the post in the added screenshot in the reblog)

[deoidesign]

A frustrating development with the growing lack of reading comprehension I've personally noticed is an emerging fervor of insisting things aren't canon unless they are explicitly stated beyond all reasonable doubt.

I can not emphasize enough how harmful a mindset this is to have. Yes, it's wonderful to have characters outright say "I'm trans," but to deny a character's identity for not saying that is dangerous.

Plenty of real people prefer not to use specific labels. Historically, people didn't have our modern terms or modes of expression. Many modern cultures don't use these terms, either, and plenty of people within those that do can't safely openly identify.

If the only representation you accept as canon is within modern (and let's be honest, wealthy white able-bodied American) standards, then you are denying yourself and others a huge amount of representation and seriously limiting the media around you.

#remembering how people were like hmm its not actually canon that Steve is trans and adam is nonbinary... #steve doesnt fucking know what 'trans' is hes an unhoused time traveling cowboy like!!! #after an arc. about werewolves. and how people become werewolves because theyre unhappy with their lives. #especially specifically regarding their body/gender #and how adam explicitly says 'your family never saw you as a man' #AND THEN FOLLOWS IT UP. with referring to Steve as 'the man who chose' #like for fucks sake #you are being deliberately and willfully ignorant if you say its not canon. #your ideas of transness are extremely extremely limited if it doesnt include people who dont use the word. #god. ugh. ive been annoyed by this since that episode came out #dont even get me started on how people barely noticed adam is nonbinary.mm #they said they dont wanna be called a boyfriend. come on!!! come on!!!! #how can i make it clearer without them saying shit they woildnt say and have no context for!!!! #scream. #anyways. #delete later lol im just frustrated again. #im not even sure i worded this how i wanted to

[yfere]

not me making the mistake of clicking on too many clove videos on youtube --

#valorant #clove #nonbinary #I was like - so cool! an agent who is a fusion of some of my favorite agents to play! #oh look! they're nonbinary just like me! #oh! oh wait! people hate them and people who like them for that! #people are advocating to bully anyone who uses the character's actual pronouns off the game! #so fun! #clove valorant

[honiemun]

congrats on the transition

#acht #side order #splatoon #nonbinary #pride #i love sploon team they were like “oh shit people really think shiver is nb huh” #and they just went ahead and introduced an actual nb character afterwards

[puppyeared]

Its really freeing when “gender is just a construct” really sinks in and you dont see yourself identifying with any pre-existing gender that the answer is “wait I can just make my own gender lol.” So. Hello everyone. Im pupgender now

#I still use he/she/they and if someone asks I’ll probably still say nonbinary unless its someone I trust this information with #I just. wanted something made just for me. thats it lol #I get that its important to some people to belong and I think if they really want to find a community who shares the way they feel #about themselves thats actually so wholesome and beautiful #its just that im tired of saying im not really sure what I am whenever it comes up in conversation #because I DO know what I am its just that its not exactly something u would call a gender. except u can and I just did it #this also doesnt mean I use pup/pups pronouns even if it fits the neopronoun naming scheme. I just need something to call myself that #feels like me I guess #Ive never been good at staying self contained in terms of identity so might as well #yapping #diary

[justablah56]

hey guys reminder that there are more gender identities than just cis and trans . if you're making a poll that depends on how you identify gender wise include at the absolute bare minimum intersex and nonbinary people . not everyone is cis or trans .

#just blahs #ik that i personally am so sick of having to pick to identify myself with one of two labels that i dont identify with #i dont care if you dont think it matters that much bcs this is a thing that happens often enough that it actually bugs me #i think I've literally only seen one poll like that that included nonbinary people let alone intersex people #nonbinary #intersex #genderqueer

[rebellum]

I feel like... Perhaps... Arguing that transphobia is defined by murder and that anything other than murder doesn't even matter... May NOT be conducive to fighting for trans rights.

Like... people want the right to exist as they are. They want to have access to hrt and surgeries and prosthetics. People want access to clothes that fit them and reflect how they want to be seen. People want access to medical care (eg. Getting screened and treated for sex-based forms of cancer can be impossible if you have the "wrong" sex listed to receive those tests). People want to be respected and treated well. People want to not be sexually assaulted and beaten and abused. People want to have access to housing and jobs, and the protection to not lose those things for being trans. People want access to shelters for homeless people or survivors of domestic abuse. People want name changes.

Acting like all of those things don't matter because at least they weren't murderered by an individual (and instead die of suicide or state violence, or survive and suffer) isn't okay.

#'hey people are forcibly detransitioning you and raping and beating you and you lost your job and are going to be homeless and #probably die of infection from being stabbed for trying to go to the bathroom. but at least you arent part of a demographic that has a #higher murder victim rate! shhh just ignore that we dont actually have data on the murder rate of your group.' #do ppl like. forget state based violence exists. and that thats most violence minorities face. #idk man im just. mad about people on here acting like youre only oppressed if youre a perisex trans woman who was AMAB. #cause i exist at the intersection of multiple minorities and being told hey u experience violence but at least you wont be murdered by an #individual feels like a slap in the face. #like it doesnt matter if i have to mask my neurodivergent behaviour bc if people see they could assume im on drugs and call the police and #i could potentially be really hurt but not die but hey at least i wont die just be horrifically traumatized by police brutality! #there are millions of people with mental illnesses similar to my own around the world who are institutionalized and forcibly medicated or #living on the streets or dependant on horrifically abusive caregivers #but hey at least they arent being murdered! #like. the way the transphobia discussion on tumblr rn discusses (and doesnt discuss) race and ability and class and health makes me #feel very invisible. #like if people had to choose who to believe about my experiences between listening to me a black/mixed mentally ill maybe disabled (used to #be disabled) hella nd trans nonbinary person #or listen to a white middle class trans woman's take on my experiences that theyd choose her. its such a weird weird microcosm. #its like a monkeys paw like people are finally listening to trans fems and finally recognising the violence they experience and finally #actually caring about them but for some reason decide that in order to do that its necessary to throw every other minority under the bus #like fuck man have you seen how 'anti transandrophobia truthers' discuss race? its NOT okay #we all matter we all are so similar and are part of the same groups and same communities we need to stick together #stop using trans fems as a battering ram to hurt other minorities challenge #cause like. yes its some trans fems. but its mostly NOT? #like its non trans fems telling other non trans fems that they arent oppressed #and even when many trans fems are like what the fuck dude of course other trans ppl matter whats wrong with you #the group of like 80% non trans fems 20% trans fems are like 'hmm if you are defending other trans people you must not really be trans fem' #like. denying trans fems their identity bc they disagree with them?? dude someone doesnt stop being a trans fem cause they recognise #people other than trans fems matter and exist #its just all so WEIRD its a weird little tumblr microcosm #i wanna stress. for those of you who dont have access to other lgbtq+ communities. how much it seems to be primarily a tumblr thing. to

[uncanny-tranny]

The Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) is planning on changing their regulations for telehealth prescriptions of controlled substances. However, they have opened comments up for people to voice their opinions. You can submit a formal anonymous comment HERE. The comment period ends on March 31st, 2023.

This is an important issue for those who are prescribed controlled substances (e.g., testosterone or ADHD medication) through telehealth, which means it can and will impact trans people on testosterone and a ton of others if this goes through.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #nonbinary #this will affect other people like those with ADHD who are prescribed medication which is also a controlled substance #it astounds me that professionals aren't trusted by the DEA to be able to do their jobs #you all already know i hate the DEA so i'm biased personally #you can also browse comments left by many people #i've been perusing some comments and they are *not* happy ones. i guess i'm glad i'm not the only disgruntled USian #again - mfw the dea isn't a plotpoint of brba and it actually affects my life negatively 😔🤕🤬