#or maybe i just can't see it on my end

[kazz-matazz]

and what if we were scar crossed lovers forever. what if we traded baby blues for wide eyed browns. what if we knew it was a strange way of saying we were supposed to love each other. what if i slept on every piece of fuzz and stuffing that came out of you. what if you were too good to be true. what if you were gold plated. what if love was in the air and we didn't care. what if we found a window to break out. what if we snuck into the cheap seats, honey. what if i remembered photographed kisses so well. what if we mauled the world like a carnival bear set free. what if we loved each other in the same way there's a chapel in a hospital. what if seasons changed but we didn't. what if i was half doomed and you were semi sweet. what if you were a loose bolt and i was a complete machine. what if we were america's suitehearts. what if we met in the purgatory of your hips and got well. what if we showed the world the thunder. what if it was me and you, setting in a honeymoon. what if we had it all. what if we thought we had it all. what if you were the sunshine of my lifetime. what if i remembered the way i held your hand under the lamppost. what if i wasn't your intended dose. what if we rolled the highlights. what if we had a "got too high" life. what if we were on the bright side. what if we had the wrong insides. what if the house you grew up in broke my heart. what if i felt you at the beginning but needed you at the end. what if you didn't know me anymore. what if i wanted to scream "i love you" from the top of my lungs. what if it was all a fake out

#felt normal about fall out boy tonight #fall out boy #kaz's posts #this. isnt a ramble i dont think #the kintsugi kid has been. um. hitting hard lately #and marvel's barking at the end. i dont know it just. man . i. man #sitting here with the tightness in my chest. i can't wait to see them again #maybe i will send the letter

[strangersteddierthings]

No Regrets - Part Three

This one got longer than I expected, so it's only about Spring Break. We return to the apocalypse next part.

Part One🦇 Part Two🦇Part Three🦇Part Four🦇Part Five🦇Part Six

"-eve?"

Waking up again is disorienting. His head aches like the beginning of a migraine. There was something he was thinking about but it's fading quickly. A conversation in a boathouse...? That's not right. The boathouse was empty. The police had beat them there.

"Steve?"

No. No conversation in a boathouse. But there was a phone call. He knows he remembers that. Joyce had called last night. Her and Murray sharing a phone between them as Steve- Oh! Right. Steve told them he knew about Hopper in Russia.

"You have to go, though. Hopper is alive and waiting. And there's a demogorgon. Demodogs, too. You have to kill them all. Any connection to the Upside Down left alive helps Vecna. It's like having a tether to here makes him stronger."

"I can't just abandon El," Joyce sounds conflicted, and Steve gets it. He does.

"You aren't. You're going to be giving her back her dad. She's got Jonathan and Will and Mike. Argyle, too, if he wants to be there. Just. Just get them on the road and back here as soon as you can. If they don't leave soon than Brenner will-"

"Brenner? What do you mean Brenner? He's dead. Right? He's supposed to be dead."

"Yeah, well, he's not. He- I don't know the full details, just. I was just given an overview because, y'know, other shit was going down. But he makes El relive a lot of traumatic shit from her past and yeah, it gets her back her powers, but she's just a kid. She's just a kid."

"Her abilities, they aren't gone?" It's Murray who asks.

"No. She's just traumatized, in a different way. It was... it was Jonathan who said this, actually, to me. I mean, he hasn't said it yet, and if everything goes the way I want, he won't need to say it ever, but that's- sorry, that's not important. He said he thinks El blocked her abilities because she lost Hopper. An internal block, you know? 'Cause she couldn't save him with them, so what was the point of having them?"

"And you think bringing Hopper back will free her of that block?" Murray asks.

Steve can't help it. He laughs. "Hell no. I think years of therapy might, but having her dad will help. There's no way it hurts, right? Also, uh, you're the parent here, Joyce, so I'll let you decide what to tell her, but the big, awful thing that Brenner made her relive? It was a massacre. At the lab, when she was there. Another guy, another number, killed a bunch of the people there. It was El who saved the remainder. She stopped him from killing anyone else by opening the first gate to the Upside Down. She tossed him in and closed it. She's not a monster. Oh, that part you have to tell her. She's not a monster."

"Steve!"

There's more to the phone call, Steve knows he knows that but there's yelling and it's distracting.

"Steve!!"

"What?" Steve snaps, both with his shout and back into himself. He's sitting at the picnic in Forest Hills. Everyone is looking at him with varying degrees of concern.

"You okay?" Robin asks, "we've been trying to get your attention for a while now."

"What? Yeah, sorry," Steve says, distracted, standing up and looking around. Eddie's trailer is right there, and Wayne's truck is parked in front. He knows Wayne. Knew Wayne? He's in charge of the gardens at home base. A real green thumb, not that you can tell by looking at the trailer now. "You think that with Fred's death, they'll stop suspecting Eddie?"

"What? We don't know that they suspect Eddie," Dustin is quick to say, "I know he didn't do it, and so do you so-"

"Yeah, I know! I do know that, but Chrissy died in his home and then he ran. Of course, he's a suspect. But he was in jail last night. So. They can't suspect him still, right?"

Nancy purses her lips, giving Steve a look he knows isn't good. "Well, it will depend on when they apprehended Eddie, which we don't even know they did. How do you know he was in jail last night?"

"Good point. I don't, not for sure. But Wayne might," Steve says as he starts walking away. He can hear everyone at the picnic table shouting for him and scrambling to follow. Steve picks up speed, dashing up the steps and pounding on the door before anyone catches up.

"Steve, what are you doing," Max hisses, because she's the fastest and therefore the closest.

"I just gotta-"

"Can I help you?" Wayne Munson greets, voice even. Steve watches as his eyes sweep the group, pausing on Nancy before coming back to Steve.

"Hopefully. Uh, I'm a friend of- well, no that's a lie. I don't want to lie to you. I'm not Eddie's friend, but I want to be, and Dustin here is, so we just wanted to know if you could tell us if Eddie's okay?" Steve says. "You already talked to Nancy yesterday, but she didn't know that we, like, knew him. Have you heard from Eddie?"

Wayne eyes him with suspicion, which is fair, "I ain't heard from him."

"Please," Steve says, because he's got to try one more time. Either Wayne doesn't know for real, or he's lying because he doesn't trust Steve. He's not sure he'll be able to tell which is which, but he has to ask again, "I swear that we just want to help Eddie. Whatever happened to Chrissy wasn't his fault, I know that. I just need. I need to know he's not- not out there, alone and scared. Please."

Wayne stares him down and Steve refuses to look away. Wayne's eyes flick away from him to the single police cruiser still stationed nearby, then back. "Get in here."

He doesn't need told twice. Wayne retreats into the trailer and Steve follows. Immediately his eyes jump to where the gate will form. Currently it just looks like water damage on the ceiling, but Steve knows. No gate yet, but it'll be there tomorrow. Probably fully formed by the time Vecna tries to take Max.

Robin, the last one in, shuts the door behind her gently.

"I told her yesterday that Eddie didn't do this," Wayne nods his head towards Nancy but he never takes his eyes off Steve. "Didn't stop them from arresting him."

"Thank God," Steve breaths out, which is the wrong thing to say, given how quickly Wayne's face morphs to anger, so he quickly adds, "shit, I mean, that means, he was in police custody when they found another victim last night, right? That'll prove he's innocent."

Wayne doesn't respond right away. Instead, he takes his time looking at each and every one of them, lingering on Nancy before settling on Max. "You live 'cross the way, don't ya?"

Max looks surprised to be recognized. "Yeah."

"Did you see anything?"

"I saw..." she trails off, brows furrowing as she thinks. She looks from Wayne to Steve. He doesn't know what she sees on his face, but he watches as she steels herself, a decidion made, before looking back to Wayne and saying, "What I saw is whatever I'll need to have seen to help Eddie."

"You'd lie to the police for Eddie?"

Max and Wayne have a silent conversation following the question, judging by their stare down and raising and following brow lines. When Max does speak, she says, "I've lied to police for worse people."

"Huh," is all Wayne says as he settles back against the counter behind him.

"Thank you," Steve says, even as his mind starts to calculate. They'll probably keep him the full 48 hours, since there isn't evidence enough to charge him. Right? There isn't really any evidence. Except, perhaps, what Eddie might have told them. Shit. Would Eddie say anything? "Can you let me know when they release him? Whatever happened, whatever he saw, probably freaked him out. I don't want him to feel alone. I mean, we don't."

Dustin is looking at him now like he's grown a second head but Wayne. Wayne is looking at him like he's made a realization. Drawn some unknown conclusion that he must approve of because he nods. "Sure, son."

"You got pen and paper? I'll write down my number."

The silence from his friends is deafening and does not bode well for Steve. He just knows they're going to bombard him as soon as they leave the trailer.

Which is exactly what happens. They wait until they're back by their cars before starting in, though.

"Steve, what the fuck was that?" Dustin says.

"How did you know he got arrested?" Max demands.

"Steve, you are acting so strange right now," Robin says, worry painted across her face.

"Explain," is all Nancy says, crossing her arms.

Should he? Does he even know what's happening? No. Not really. He's got memories of a future that's bleak and dark and terrible and he doesn't want it to come true. Are they even memories? Did those events even happen? He doesn't know for sure. All he does know if he wants to do everything in his power to prevent it from happening though. He doesn't want to have regrets about.... about something.

"We don't win," he says. "We don't win this one. Or, we didn't? We might now. Things are different this time."

"What?" Robin asks.

Steve ignores the question, giving instead more of the information he knows, "Hopper's alive. Joyce and Murray are on their way to Russia to save him."

"WHAT?" he's not sure who asked. Maybe all of them.

"And El is- I don't know. On her way, I hope. But she won't have her powers when she gets here. Or maybe she will? If she believes she's not a monster and really is the hero."

"Steve, you are not making any sense!"

"I know!" Steve shouts and drops into a squat. "I know! I'm not the- the figure it out guy, or the plans guy, or whatever. I'm just the guy who knows things he shouldn't, and I can't tell if it's because I actually lived it, or if I was just given knowledge about it somehow. I know the Upside Down has a red storm that never ends, more democreatures that just gorgons or dogs, and that Vecna slash Henry slash One is a goddamn monster who opens a giant hell gate and causes the apocalypse."

"Whoa, whoa," Dustin sooths, and when Steve looks up, Dustin's got both hands up and approaching like Steve's a wild animal. He kind of feels like one right now. "Slow down and explain."

There's a lot Steve could say. Should say. Steve is kind and soft, even in the face of the end of the world, but he's also learning that he's a little ruthless. Not heartless, but enough that he can see where they are, where they need to be, and how to get there in the easiest way possible. His eyes flick to Max. "Chrissy and Fred. They were both seeing the guidance counselor. You've seen them both there, right Max?"

"I- yeah. Yeah, I have."

"And Nancy, you've got a hunch, right? You need to go to the library to check it out?"

She narrows her eyes at him but nods.

"Okay. So, uh, let's use that as proof. You and Robin go check out your hunch, and I'll stick with Dustin and Max. Take Max to see Ms. Kelley and see if she'll tell Max anything that connects them?"

"You already know what we'll find, don't you?" Nancy asks, and Steve shrugs. "You're right. I won't believe you. Not without this proof. So, we'll go, Robin and me. And when we meet up, I expect you to tell me what we learned."

Max is completely silent the entire drive, an exact opposite of Dustin who shoots off so many questions in a row that Steve can barely remember the first by the time he's onto the next. Not that it would matter, because Dustin doesn't pause between any of his questions or comments to let Steve answer anyway.

Max launches herself from car almost as soon as Steve pulls up to the curb with a loudly groaned, "finally" before she slams the door and bounds across the street.

"Steve! Are you even listening to me!?" Dustin has finally lost steam or ran out of breath or something.

"Are you done yelling at me?" Steve retorts.

Dustin lets out a really big sigh then says, "For now. I just- Let's start with this. How do you know that Hopper's alive?"

"Joyce and Murray confirmed it when I talked to them on the phone. They're supposed to be getting El and crew heading back this way while they go to rescue him, but I don't really know how that's going."

Dustin squints at him. "I thought you could see the future now."

"No. I saw the future, so like, lived it or something. And it's like... You watch Back to the Future yet?"

"Yes."

"Okay, so like, the part where his family starts to vanish from the picture? Because he made his mom want to bang him-?"

"That is a disgusting oversimplification of the plotline, Steve."

"-it's like that. Except I want to change the events because we definitely end up in the bad timeline."

"Okay. Say I believe you. You said we don't win this time. Explain that."

Steve sighs. "Can that wait for like, everyone? Explain it all at once?"

"What made it so bad you have to alter the course of all of human existence?" Dustin demands.

"The Upside Down breaks through, man," Steve says, "Like, toxic air and no more sunlight or blue skies kinda bad. Full on, end of the world apocalypse type shit."

"Shit. We, like, lose lose," Dustin says in a small voice Steve doesn't think he's ever heard Dustin use before he huffs and falls out of view with a click and the sound of squeaking leather. Steve watches as Dustin reclines his seat back so he can stare up at the ceiling of the BMW.

"Yeah," Steve says before they fall into silence until Max sprints back, screaming for him to drive before she's even got the door closed behind her and certainly isn't wearing her seatbelt yet.

They all converge at the school, and Steve tells them what Nancy and Robin learned at the library, then Max puts together the thread that connected Chrissy and Fred, and he has to watch, again, as she accepts she's going to die. She even looks to him, as if he'll confirm that with a shake of his head or a nod.

He just blinks back at her until she looks away.

They want answers he isn't ready to give. Not until tomorrow, after Vecna tries to take Max. Given how today has gone, tomorrow shouldn't be much of a change. Nancy and Robin will still go the Pennhurst, and Steve will take Max everywhere she wants to go, but this time he'll be ready. It's not too late, so the little music store down from Melvald's will still be open. Hopefully they have Kate Bush handy. He'll make sure Lucas has a backup cassette player and-

"Wait. Lucas should be told. He should be here. Why isn't he..." Steve trails off, trying to remember why Lucas would be here. He went to party with the basketball team and- and what? There's something he's missing. Something changed. His head hurts and the white noise is back, and it hits him so suddenly he sways and stumbles backwards until he hits a wall.

"Steve!" Robin gasps his name and rushes to hold him up. Dustin is at his other side just as quick.

"I'm ok," Steve says with eyes closed. He can't explain it, but he's changed something. He knows he has. Lucas is with them tomorrow, he remembers that, and there's this feeling that he should be here now. That he should have shown up at the school, but the reason eludes him. Slips from his grasp like he's trying to hold water. "It's- there was something that was supposed to happen. Something that made Lucas find us here at the school. I remember that. I- I almost hit him with a lamp. But he's not here. He didn't- something's changed. Whatever happened before didn't happen again."

"What, like, you changed the past?" Dustin asks.

The laugh Steve lets out is manic, even to his own ears. "I don't know! I can't remember! It's there, the why, but I can't reach it. It's faded, man, like the picture. It's faded."

"Okay, I think it's time we get some rest," Nancy says. "Dustin, you'll radio Lucas tonight and fill him in. Tell him Steve or I will pick him up tomorrow morning to join us. Let's go everyone, before someone does show up."

Nancy takes Dustin and Max, and Robin sticks with Steve. She doesn't even question his detour to the music store, just helps him find the Kate Bush tape. Doesn't even raise an eyebrow when he buys two cassette players, five blank tapes, and a tape recorder.

"Who is the mix tape for?" Robin asks him only once they're at Steve's house and settled in for the night in front of the fancy stereo in Steve's living room. Robin's called her parents already and told them she was staying with a friend, and they had leftovers for dinner from.

"Just in case. Now, shh," Steve says, and once Robin has properly quieted, he pressed record on the tape recorder and play on the stereo. He's already found the track he wants, so it's just a matter of waiting the song out, pausing the tape recorder quickly, then rewinding the tape. He goes too far back, so his finger just hovers over the record button until Running Up That Hill comes back on, and he repeats the process. Over and over again, until the hour long tape is filled with nothing but one song.

Robin watches him do it in complete silence. She doesn't move or shuffle until after he's paused the recording, stilling again once he hits record. He knows she doesn't understand why, but also that she doesn't need to understand. He knows that she knows he'll explain as soon as he's able.

He's just afraid to say too much right now. He can remember tomorrow; the Pennhurst plan, how it is supposed to go based on what remembers Nancy and Robin saying. Max will bully him into driving her around, and they'll end up at Billy's grave. He'll be ready this time, he already knows the answers they're seeking but he doesn't want to risk too much.

He has a plan. And it'll work. It has too.

Because he can't remember what happens after. Patrick dies, and there's... water? A lake? But why is Patrick at a lake in the dark? He isn't, is the thing. It's like there are two memories overlapping in Steve's mind and he doesn't know which is real. Or if either of them are.

There's a memory of... of Eddie? Eddie talking about Patrick floating but there's also a memory of hearing it on the news, Patrick found dead in his room, murdered the same way as Chrissy and Fred with no sign of forced entry in his house. Both memories feel real, but Steve doesn't know, can't tell, which is.

Robin and he falls sleep wrapped around each other that night.

-

@i-less-than-three-you @nburkhardt @afewproblems @skepsiss @apomaro-mellow @eddie-munsons-lunchbox @sirsnacksalot @livelifeliketheresnotomorrow @sageclipse @schnukiputz @mbloggotdeletedsothisismybackup @lumoschildextra @juleswashere3 @yet-still-more-banched @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @yearningagain @starlight-archer @chaosgremlinmunson @aol19 @goodolefashionedloverboi @gutterflower77 @moomkin77 @wonderland-girl143-blog @krazyperson @sevenmerrymagpies

#steddie #my fic #time travel au #apocalypse au #butterfly effect au #what was the conclusion wayne came to i hear you ask? #he can see how desperate steve is to help eddie and maybe thinks steves got a crush on his nephew #also where is lucas you might also be asking #Jason cant go on a dangerous manhunt if the man hes hunting is already caged so Lucas doesnt get roped into that #also i see yall questioning the steddie and trust me that it is. will be #just hes in yknow jail for now so steve can't exactly be climbing him like a tree yet. in the spring break parts. #next part however? well. youll see how the end of the world is going

[zishuge]

Mysterious Lotus Casebook (2023) | Ep. 19

#mysterious lotus casebook #莲花楼 #li lianhua #fang duobing #cheng yi #zeng shunxi #cdramaedit #mlcedit #*gifs:mine #remember when llh tells fdb “we can't always live up to the expectations of others – maybe li xiangyi never expected so much from you” #first time i saw it i was like TAKE YOUR OWN ADVICE! but then i realized that for li xiangyi it wasn't simply “others” #it was “the whole world and everyone he knew including himself”* #because no one's expectations of li xiangyi were ever higher than li xiangyi's #and of course we all know that the second something went wrong most of sigu sect immediately laid the blame at his feet #but fdb is saying that no... everyone's expectations of li xiangyi were bullshit actually #the standards were simply unattainable #li lianhua told fang duobing “maybe li xiangyi never expected so much from you” #and this is fang duobing telling him “maybe li xiangyi should never have expected so much from himself” #and you can see li lianhua's entire worldview shifting just a little to the right (gifs 3+5) #and that soft smile at the end. which of course leads into “to my new friend. my best friend.” lsakjfdsldfkjasldk #it's not enough to change his mind really – it's too little and much too late to drown out a decade of self-loathing and guilt #but i wonder – if fang duobing had been able to be by his side for those ten years #telling him this again and again and again #you weren't perfect. you didn't need to be. you were young. you were trying. you were good. you were so good. #if li lianhua might have been able to heal that terrible rift inside himself #aughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #translation notes: it made me chuckle that iqiyi's translation for gif 6 was: “they're just a bunch of selfish posers” very succinct. #also this lighting was so difficult to color ack i never really know what to do with a super green bg #*shifu as the only exception and thus shifu remains forever the best.

[fourteenthz]

VIERAPRIL 15 - SPARK

In the end all I hope for is to be a bit of warmth for you When there's not a lot of warmth left.

#wall of post sorry. crying too much to care rn. #viera ffxiv #vierapril #vierapril 2024 #ffxiv oc #ffxiv viera #wol posting #6.0 spoilers #hydaelyn #pls click the link listen to the most venat + wol song ever. #i've been meaning to use it somewhere and i'll probably use it again but i just couldn't skip it this time #as much as it sounds like venat i hear the wol's voice in it tbh... since hydaelyn has been 'dying' for a little while #so when the one thing you believe the most gives you everything you must try search everywhere to give something back #and then i like to imagine thesa settle for this. maybe she can't do much besides do hydaelyn's will but she hopes this brings her somethin #warmth. if you will. this song is one of the most thesa songs ever bc its just someone keeping herself busy and trying to be useful #the setting fire to your your own hair part IS SOOO HER. #and when the chorus comes with 'promise me you will start were I end' is SO hydaelyn's voice coded. literally venat core. #and thesa answering with 'yeah. i will. and in the end i hope I was something more to you too. some comfort' YOU GET ME????? #they love each other so very much. that's her mother guys. #i like to translate how /i/ never doubted hydaelyn to thesa lol girl is hopeful and loyal to her core. anyway. gushing my heart out here #had more screenshots but well guess 9 is enough. and a bunch of tags for this song bc i love it a lot. ilu 4 winds albuns. #the scions seeing this and some of them seeing thesa cry for the first time....... yeah. get her (emotional) (real) (i love her) #also the lowest you will ever see her ears <3

[skymantle]

not shipping something subtextual? alright whatever

not shipping it because a wildly popular INACCURATE fan theory says the characters are related? annoying.

not shipping it because you believe (falsely) that they're related + claiming there's no subtext when the crux of the series is the relationship? DIE.

#i need to write my thesis on portal as a feminist story it's been brewing in my head for years and every time #someone says something stupid about caroline or chell or glados it bubbles up and i become exponentially more evil #maybe writing it will inspire less rage within my heart when I see a godawful take in the wild #even if you don't like chelldos. and I get that. you can't deny that the chell and glados' situationship is the heart of both games #the first game ends with them trying to kill each other. the second one ends with them saving each other #logs #portal #chelldos #I swear some people opened the game and absorbed nothing but british men and glowing hole #I think of the GLaDOS line ''I'm being serious I think there's something really wrong with me'' every fucking day #the delivery and context of it. also she's just like me

[enjoltrwolfstar]

I don't know how to explain this but Peter Capaldi and Swann Arlaud are the same man in different fonts

#Different fonts or maybe just different years but still #Like my brain just connected them and I can't undo this connection idk #Peter Capaldi #swann arlaud #Doctor who #the anatomy of a fall #Swann Arlaud also reminds me of Thomas Brodie Sangster #And also somehow I see something of Hugh Laurie too somewhere but maybe more in Peter Capaldi #idk my brain is weird #They're all very beautiful men at the end of the day #in my opinion

[eliashirsch]

i have something to admit that i'm not proud of...

i genuinely can't write hangster😭😭 like i've tried so many times. SO MANY TIMES!! i always get the a few thousand words in and then all my motivation just falls of. i'm seriously trying to finish a story about them, even a one shot! but i just can't do it!!

and i know i shouldn't force myself but it'd be nice to write LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE OTHER THAN ICEMAV

#idk how to do it guys... #i have so many unfinished/abandoned WIPs of them... #shame #icemav has rooted themselves into my brain too much i can't even write my own personal stories because i end up turning them to their story #help #maybe i just don't find them interesting??? #it was hard for me to see their appeal at first too... #idk maybe i'm just destined to write about icemav for the 1000th time #top gun maverick #writing #icemav #hangster #please if anyone wanna give me some tips i'd be glad to receive it #confession

[icewindandboringhorror]

................ he 

#i feel like I posted this already but I also can't find it in any recent posts so... #......he #cats #EVEN if I did post it.. why not poast himb again? it's he #I'm like halfway through actually editing aforementioned costumes and stuff and i WANT to work on sculptures again and I have video #s and that worldbuilding slideshow and all of these things so hopefully like.. more usual stuff soon maybe.. to be posted #for now though yeah.. just cats #The end of the year is also when I panic about the passage of time and how little I've gotten done and how I will never actually be a #sucessful game maker slash author slash cat cafe owner slash set designer slash costume designer slash psychologist #who lives in like Scotland or somehting and also owns my own candle company or something ghbjhb #and will probably just be a mentally ill hermit recluse all my life who dies early of mysterious health issues with 5000 projects left #undone and blah blah the crushing weight of chronic illness and capitalism and so on and so forth #So then I scramble to get projects done to try and meet some goals but usually that means I scatter between projects #so it takes longer to finish all of them. Like instead of dedicating 8 hours to one thing and finishing it one sitting. I'll do 2 hours on #this then 2 hours on that then 2 hours on another things. so they all get done slower even though I'm still technically making progress on #them all. This is also a very poo poo pee pee stink brain way to work and is not like. the most efficent thing but it's just how my brain #organizes tasks sometimes lol #*** #(<ignore this its part of an OCD compulsion lol. anytime you see me type three asterisks I'm not bleeping out a curse word #it's just a Special Secret Foolish Thing I Have To Do At Specific Uncontrolable Times When Brain Says So gbjhhj) #ANYWAY... eeeee #Still haven't resolved my mystery chest injury though so being at te computer for too long is also kind of achey-inducing #Better get over it though because I have like 30+ hours of slideshow vidoe to edit hahaha hee hee hoo!!!!!

[brookheimer]

the one thing i feel pretty certain about for this episode is that america will not decide the election. a decision will be made, a president will be elected, but america will not be the deciding factor.

succession can’t mimic 2016 or 2020 point blank, that would be boring and have nothing to say. it can’t try to outdo trump because it’ll go too whacky and fall flat like veep’s last season (sorry conheads, no way he’s winning). but what it CAN do is illustrate the immensely corrupt, often arbitrary, and hugely influential nature of news media and conglomerations on political processes. i think probably jimenez will be in the lead, then atn/waystar does something to, i don’t know, discount votes or cast suspicion on jimenez or call the election for mencken early, and the tide will shift, even though the votes are already in. the votes don’t actually matter. the actual result doesn’t actually matter. that’s the power logan (and as an extension, billionaires and CEOs in general) hold. shiv says it herself to logan in s4e2: “just cause you say it’s true doesn’t make it true. everyone just fucking agrees with you and believes you, so it becomes true and then you can turn around and say like, 'oh, you see? see? i was right.'” but it doesn’t matter that logan’s “a human fucking gaslight,” everything he says comes true anyways. not because he was right, but because that’s how it works. he says things and then they happen, regardless of what the truth is or what should actually come to pass. that’s been one of the key throughlines since the very first episode of the entire show when, in response to kendall calling logan out of touch because times are changing and logan isn't changing with them, logan hisses that everyone always says you’re wrong until you do it and prove you were right: “you make your own reality.” you can't miss the bus if you're the one driving it. the election, the votes, the political process? none of that matters. it was always going to come down to the roys and their ilk (allies or enemies, just the top 1%) — that was the whole point of “what it takes” (the mencken episode) last season, after all.

i’ve seen lots of theories about what america will choose and how the candidates will respond and all that and i just don’t think that’s the show’s focus; i think the whole point is to demonstrate the lack of agency, the illusion of democracy. because, i mean, we’ve already seen the fall of democracy via fascist election and fascist election-denial, both in real life and in the countless (usually mid) satires created afterwards. it would be disappointing to see succession use the election to reiterate that same point of 'ohhh alt-right ahhhhh!!!' i don’t think it’ll be about ‘fascism’ at all — at least, not ‘trump-y’ fascism. it’ll be about fascism in the broader sense, the kind that doesn't sport a KKK hood (even when it keeps one tucked away in the attic). it's the fascism that every single roy (very much including shiv and kendall) aid and abet -- the fascism that so many succession fans don't seem to regard as fascism, despite it quite literally being the definition of fascism. trump wasn’t the entrance of fascism into our political process. he wasn’t the lone sign of the failing of american democracy. democracy in america has long been illusory, trump just made it more blatantly evident with his particular brand of hate-speech-ridden masculinist in-your-face fascism.

so i think that’s what this episode will hopefully focus on — america will not decide. corporations, news media, and the roys will. thus, the president will most likely become president not because the country supports his policies the most, but because he’s likely to agree to help block a business deal for a major media empire, and the other candidate is unlikely to. and this will likely come to pass due to said major media empire's interference and influence: they create their own reality. they say it, and everyone agrees with them and believes them, so it becomes true.

#WOOF okay here's my unnecessary ~thematic prediction~ for this episode #i have some more like random thoughts ab what'll happen but those r less thought out and more throwing shit at the wall etc #but i've been thinking a lot ab this ep n idk i just can't see any other way it could be done satisfyingly -- they can't just do 2016/2020 #again. the focus has to be elsewhere. i have some specifics thoughts on details but again those r kinda random n will be in another post #after bizarrely getting a lot of things right this szn i know a lot of people are looking to me to see what i'll say for this ep and let me #remind yall that I AM LITERALLY JUST GUESSING BASED ON MY UNDERSTANDING OF THE SHOW AND HOW NARRATIVES #TEND TO WORK PARTICULARLY IN SUCCESSION! if i am wrong which i very well might be please do not crucify me. i know literally #nothing more than anyone else i'm just a random english/gov major who likes speculating about media ! that said if i end up right again #somehow then yes i am a prophet i am jesse armstrong i have never been wrong about anything in my life. etc #watch this age so poorly tho. #LOL #also fwiw i dont think the Shock etc is going to come from the election results - maybe possibly from the way things happen (i could see a #line of miscommunication resulting in fucked up outcomes etc which i can get into in another post) or a roy sibs moment but i just #don't think there's any way the results themselves cld be surprising. it's jimenez or mencken. it's not gonna be connor guys. #succession #succession spoilers #except not really. just succession speculation more than anything else #long post #succession speculation #100

[uncanny-tranny]

I was told by someone that I couldn’t call myself a transsexual because I had to go off T for health reasons and I haven’t had any gender affirming surgeries yet since I’m poor and disabled. Is this true? What are like, the requirements to be a transsexual? /gen

The requirements to be transsexual: to identify as transsexual

This might seem too... straightforward, but genuinely, medical transition is so complex and individual that it's worthless to make it so ridged. There are so many reasons you have to stop some aspect(s) of transition, even if you didn't want to! That doesn't mean you never transitioned or that it's "lesser" now that you stopped.

Genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, I, for one, couldn't care less if you call yourself a transsexual. To my mind, it is as political as it is an identity. Being a transsexual isn't just about your identity but also your place in this world. "Transsexual menace" isn't just a cutesy little slogan but a political battle cry. It can be an attitude about changing sex, about the lucid and plastic nature of people, and so much more.

The word transsexual was made and popularized, honestly, with the idea that we are separate from others. I think we can take this back and make it ours. We can start by actually making it our own, not the cis world's own.

#ask #anon #trans #transsexual #transsexual FAQs #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #it seems extra shitty to me when somebody goes 'oh you can't transition in the ways you might want to for outside reasons? fuck you anyway! #like how awful do you have to be to see that a trans person is in multiple positions of marginalization... #...and make it about how YOU feel about THEIR labels? #maybe that's an uncharitable read on my end but. i just hate when you have justify your OWN damn identity. #like this isn't debate club and if you are bothered by it then that genuinely is not their problem? #(sorry for ranting anon. this is just something that alwaysssss grinds my gears and isn't directed at you but them) #inuded the bit about 'transsexual menace' because people forget that transness can be just as political as it is an identity #it is the scathing reminded that we are here and we're *going* to fucking stay no matter what. we live in the bones of society #we live in the corners you think are empty. we are the reminder that humanity is sacred and divine... #...and to forget this means we will remind you. we are *going* to fucking stay on this earth with or without approval or understanding #THAT is why i think it isn't solely an identity. my political stance is transsexual. my blade is my manhood. #basically transsexualism is: i'm not afraid to keep on living; i'm not afraid to walk this world alone.

[crownedwille]

I've come to the conclusion that loving young royals doesn't mean I can't be critical about it, maybe especially bc I love the show so much I have such strong feelings about it, good and bad and I can love parts of canon and agree with it and appreciate it but I don't have to love it all. I have accepted that it's okay if I don't accept the ending and I don't have to force myself to support it. It's okay to not agree with all of canon and it's okay to not side with all of the creators' intentions/views. Loving a show doesn't mean you have to take everything the writers say on face value and that's the only version that is allowed to exist. Canon isn't everything and fandom is about curating your own experience that makes you happy and not miserable. You don't have to dismiss canon in every aspect and ignore it entirely, that's certainly not what I want but there is a fine line between being canon respectful, allowing some parts to exist and sometimes, yes, you just have to say "fuck canon" and move on for your own sanity and wellbeing

#especically in the first two weeks of a new release everyone is feelings lots of intense emotions ranging from ecstatic to angry #everything in between is a part of it and i know i'm also feeling very strongly about it right now #i always try to stay levelheaded and rational and see things from an objective pov and be diplomatic about discourse #i don't want any of what i say drift off too much into meaningless hate instead of the constructive criticism it's supposed to be #but when you feel so strongly about something and sometimes you really just wanna say yeah i fucking hate it lol #but i always try to explain why and give understandable arguments and not just blindly hate on something #for example - I'm aware there are fans who have some problems with s2 and don't love the season whereas i do and it's my fave #and there is a difference between expressing some criticism and justified concerns which you can understand where it comes from #and those who are just like 'oh it's a horrible season. it was so shitty and we should get rid of it' which is dumb hate and just not true #and i can't support people like that and take them seriously #i can have my own issues with s3 from a subjective pov which can also include some justified criticism as well #but also still acknowledge it as a truly good piece of tv media and the quality is top notch #and that's why you have such high expectations and have critique because it is so good and sets such a high standard #yrtalk #with that being said i understand ppl not wanting to see any critic about it if they are riding the high of happy wilmon endgame #but that doesn't mean that i can't express my own opinions on my own blog and i will continue to do so #and maybe one day i will feel differently and accept or even like the ending who knows #but it doesn't have to happen. it's fine if it does but it's also fine if it doesn't

[chronicowboy]

okay calling it now the body builder call is the catalyst for eddie to start dating again but not in the way you'd think. its a normal call, eddie's a little flustered he wonders why but at the end of the day he can lock it down to do his job, and so nothing really comes of it until they're doing their final checks and eddie gets talking to just a normal looking guy in the bg (depending on what the call is, he might have a little scratch or be shaken up or eddie's just talking to him whilst hen and chim finish up and buck and bobby deal with the equipment) and then they're about to leave and the guy gives eddie his number like "sorry ik ur working and its really inappropriate but i just had to try" and eddie takes it, a little confused, because cap's calling him and everyone's teasing him about it in the enegine/back at the firehouse (but not buck for the jealousy points) and the episode is my dear beloved queer eddie arc

#sami rambles #i can see it unfolding before my eyes #eddie going to hen or karen or both of them asking about it #maybe a frank reappearance #him struggling with it throughout the whole episode but not talking to buck like the sperm donor arc #not as payback just bc there's something telling him he can't talk to buck about this #and then buck proves him right by being grumpy and weirdly distant #and the ep ends with eddie giving the guy a call and next ep is his date and he's a little freaked out but it goes okay #but then he comes home to buck and he's like oh. oh okay. #911 spoilers #911 show #911 fox #eddie diaz #buddie #buck x eddie #evan buckley #911 spec #911 speculation #queer eddie diaz

[bylertruther]

society if the duffers had gone through with their original plan to have mike go to the upside down in s1 to find will

#byler #it's enough for me to know that he WOULD but i still would have liked to see it........ but i guess there's still s5..... sniffles n cries #when will's ankle gets caught in a vine n vecna goes YOINK n u just see mike's eyes go crazy wide as he starts sprinting after him faster #than he ever has tripping stumbling falling in a very mike fashion but he keeps going n he doesn't make it in time but it doesn't matter #it doesn't matter bc he's NOT going to lose will again he's NOT going to lose him on HIS watch a-fucking-gain he won't he CAN'T #and maybe it's a party affair so he looks back at lucas n dustin who are almost there and they're screaming after #him BECAUSE MIKE WAIT STOP MIKE WE DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT WEAPONS but mike just furrows his brow and goes in #bc he's the heart he's the paladin he's going to lead them and he's going to save will because will needs him but also he needs will #and. and um. well. then i fucking die of course #OR COULD U IMAGINE IF will goes on a solo mission and he thinks he's managed to sneak away but mike pops up like 'what are you doing? 🤨' #bc he always sees will and he always knows when something is up and it's a crazy plan but they did say crazy together and that they'd be a #team no matter what and that they would kill vecna so liek. do u see what im saying are u seeing my visions are u feeling my insanity rn . #they get surrounded or trapped somewhere and will casts fog cloud n saves the party like he did in a previous campaign. etc etc #dustin is their bard who has snacks n keeps things lighthearted mike leads the way n will is at his side n lucas is their eyes n ears n it' #almost like one of their campaigns bc the show started with that and those were their roles when will was missing and now it'll end #like that and so on n so forth. nods mhm mhm #takes deep breath ok back 2 studying i go byeeee

[piningprecussionist]

Template by @juni38

Im going to be completely frank with you all... and admit that I read these options and wasn't sure how to take this chart,,, so uh. Under the cut is Another Version. I'd apologize but I've given you the option to keep scrolling ¯\_(･･)_/¯

(If you notice characters missing on Kim's side, I probably figured she doesn't know who they are lol)

For the record,,, if they *wanted* me to pull their hair-- *is shot several times before I can continue*

Uhh Matthew is here because I have been converted fully on he/him or enby lesbian Matthew I think. He lives in my brain rent free now, very gender. I'd pull his hair but also I think he mostly just deserves to have it played with nicely.

And Scott's here because 1) I enjoy trans Scott, 2) Kim Pine Brain Rot possibly, 3) idk he's like,, the exception. God damnit, I've fallen for the inexplicable Scott Pilgrim Effect. What the fuck--

I did think about doing this chart like everyone was actually applicable to my tastes, but even if they were I think the ones I didn't put up would have to fall on the caress side bc I just don't feel that way abt them lol.

Again, not to say that's the case for the gals over on that side,,, I just think I would want to be gentle w them shxkdjsdhbd with the exception for Lynette who probably deserves to have her hair pulled, but again I fear she would Hurt Me,,, but maybe in a fun way,,,

Anyway No One Look At Me....

(,, also,,, Ramona is so far over bc I think she would enjoy it,, otherwise she'd be closer to Kim in that section. Same thing w Roxie)

If anyone actually looks at this version, I'm not opposed to doing a version like this for Kim btw! Just ask for it so I feel like I'm not just Dropping This and scurrying away

#sp comic #meme #kim pine #id tag more people but i Do Not Have The Strength.... #also i like Living and I think the idea of more people seeing the suggestively taken one makes me want to Die a little #(not to say you cant reblog this or whatever im just being dramatic shdjejsdhdhgdd I am generally a fairly Reserved person) #for the kim chart- i based my other scott placement on the interaction theyve had here! i think if they interacted for real or more often + #+ he'd end up definitively in the Pull Roughly suggestion with most people #ooc #he maybe if i finish edits for everyone i could try this w the au stuff. kit's thoughts might be different here... #hey* #also let me know if i forgot anyone??? i thought abt including the robots but. no hair. and gideon the cat has Fur so. on technicality- #but like barring parents and peter i think i got most people #i guess if lainey was here she'd go somewhere in the middle or right? w/out knowing what she'd be like #FUCK I DIDNT MEAN TO POST THIS. I MEAN IT'S HERE NOW SO IM NOT REMOVING IT BUT I AM S C R E A M I N G I WASNT READY #ah i forgot crash and the boys actually. thats why i wasnt supposed to post this yet #uhhhh Pull Roughly for like all of them. except trasha. trasha gets head pats and a juice box #except for on Kim's chart. on Kim's chart she's in the pull roughly section I can't lie to myself. she hates that kid 😭 also on that note + #+ knives should probably be in the middle section. like she wants to pull it for her having copped her style and being stupid abt scott. #but I didn't put her there bc I feel like even if she wants to she wouldn't ya know? knives is a Precious Angel after all

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Adorned by stars | Changing States

When he hits the I-70, Jeremiah slots George Michael’s Faith into his ’98 Accord and drives with the windows down. His mother would chide him for two reasons: a) he’s wasting fuel and b) it’s begun to storm. But he likes the way the wind shears through his hair like a nail breaking drywall and he likes the way spats of rain settle on his skin like constellations because on the road, he isn’t just a hand for someone else to hold, a body to handle, a man who looks at another man and fears how much of himself he’s lost in his reflection. No. On the road he is the sky, adorned by stars of his own making, relentless in his abundance, blinking in the absence of any other light.

A little Changing States aesthetic & excerpt!

i'm so normal about him i'm so normal i'm so normal i'm so-

#i can't wait to explain more about this project when I actually get into it #like there's no plot rn but the vibes are impeccable #BUT I DO HAVE A LOGLINE: after a whirlwind romance devastatingly ends #jeremiah moves back to his hometown in maryland for support #only to receive word there’s been a death in the family the day he's set to arrive. #“WHIRLWIND ROMANCE DEVASTATINGLY ENDS” YEAHHH BYEEE #harrison fucked this man up i'm MADDDDDD #you know that scene in BB where harrison's pissed off at the congregation and turns and goes DO ANY OF YOU WANT PITCHFORKS??? #the answer rn should be yes BECAUSE WE'RE HUNTING HIM FOR SPORT (quoting That Post) anyway let me be serious #CW: death/grief talk #like i said this is a little autofiction-y in the sense that last yr my family had a maryland trip planned and right before we left #there was a death in the family (I didn't know the person well but it affected my parents/grandparents/uncles a lot) #so what was a trip to just see family was a trip to go to a funeral #anyway I was thinking about those circumstances and what that's like (like packing funeral clothes when they weren't originally in the plan #and what that funeral was like/how interesting it is that times of grief are also times where family reuintes #as I saw people who wouldn't have ever met me or last met me when I was very little #it was also joyous in ways etc while also being incredibly sad to witness the grief anyway so I was drawn to write about that #because I think about that trip a LOT (I was getting back into SV at the time) #and that was the first time I'd been in MD in a long time (just like this is the first time Jeremiah's been in MD in a long time) #for me it was 4 years so maybe I'll make it a similar timeline for him! #anyway Jeremiah means so much to me ughhhh I’m so grateful I created him #changing states

[jinxofthedesert]

I recently got out of a toxic and unhealthy friendship on here. I had to be the one to end it; hopefully the other party decides to leave it be and not smear my name due to realizing it wasn't healthy and that I had to end it because of it.

Basically, if someone makes you start feeling like shit, from your life, to your goals, passion, and everything else, then it's not a rewarding friendship. And it's hard to sometimes see it in the moment. Because you want to think the best of peeps, especially ones you care about.

But sometimes the healthiest thing for You is to know when to put your foot down and end it, even if it hurts you and them. At the end of the day, you matter and what you're doing matters and no one has the right to make you feel shit for who you are when you're just living your life. Life is hard enough without adding peeps who make you feel that way or question how you live when, prior to them showing up, you were happy with all of it.

To anyone in a relationship or friendship like that, I hope, like me, you are able to take a stand and realize you deserve better.

I knew I was being manipulated but not how much until I talked to others close to me. I pray you all never have to experience such a thing because damn, you know you did the right thing, but feel so fucking guilty at the same time.

But your happiness matters. You matter. Please remember that.

#personal #me #had to make a post. it's been eating at me since I ended it #you feel so fucking guilty but know it was the right decision. #i feel happier and lighter #its weird cause I've met my closet friends on here who are so incredible and supportive and respectful and I am in return #so to have one spiral into....that....was hard. and hard to realize despite my stomach aching day after day trying to tell me that #this was a shit situation and I deserved better #if someone makes you feel like shit and makes you believe you deserve to feel that way: leave #just leave #block them #life is to damn short to share it with people who will only make it worse and and make you feel bad as a person #i have more self respect than that #and sometimes it's hard to tell cause I want peeps to get along and have a good time when I care for them #i like making peeps happy. it brings me joy. and I tend to do it naturally without thinking. #so it's hard to sometimes see when it's not healthy #i pray for anyone in a relationship/friendship like this #know you are worth it and no one has the right to make you feel like that. #when someone doesn't respect that you have a life and can't be there 24/7 and take it Personally when you can't....like no #I've had so many friendships on here that respect your time and realize messaging comes second maybe even third or fourth #and it sucks when the opposite happens and it just gets worse and worse. #And them using 'i used to be a therapist so I know you better then yourself' should never be an excuse for them putting you down EVER.