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#papa i x reader
trophyclown · 6 months
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Please stop using AFAB if you just mean cis female.
I’ve noticed more and more writers are misusing the term AFAB and using it as a shorthand to say the reader is a cis women. This is a bit disheartening to see as the term was coined specifically to include trans and nonbinary people. AFAB is purely a physical description and has no bearing on the gender of the reader. It’s a gender neutral term. So please tag accordingly. Continuing to use it like this just further alienates trans people from a word made to include us. Please, just tag female if that’s what you mean.
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crowberry62 · 11 months
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Caregiver Primo with a little who calls him Nonno? (Italian for grandpa)
Primo being called Nonno
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He loves it
He’s never really had the chance to have many relationships since he was so busy being papa
Before he met you and found out about your age regression he never thought about being any sort of paternal figure
He definitely fits grandpa more then dad
He only responds to that now
Also loves hearing you speak other languages when you’re tiny
He would want to teach you other Italian and maybe some Latin
Rubs it into the face of the other papas
Calls you his grand baby
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ghuleh-recs · 6 months
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It's @leezlelatch's birthday!! To celebrate, I put together a list of some of her greatest hits (in my humble opinion). I need to point out that it is taking every ounce of self-control I have not to just recommend everything she has ever written. If you want to read about sexy papas with FEELINGS, look no further. She writes some of the best Copia (emotional) hurt/comfort I have ever read. Her writing never fails to have me kicking my feet and blushing (and sometimes crying lol). Happy Birthday Leez!! Thank you for sharing your gorgeous words with us!
recs under the cut.
Brightness at the Heart of My Love - Copia x Reader
Nervous about your first time together, Cardinal Copia invites you to dinner.
Copia is quiet for several seconds, prompting you to look back up at him from your plate. He’s smiling very softly, cheeks tinted pink. There’s a sweetness to his gaze that halts your every thought, dazzled by him. There is something about Copia that is so…lovely. His features are harsh at times, stern and shadowed. Like a wraith, he passes through the hallways of the Ministry at twilight, swathed in the black of his cassock. When he dons the crimson cassock, he looks more like red death stalking abroad than the temperate Cardinal you’ve come to cherish. Little does the congregation know that he enjoys the serenity of the gardens before dark. That he often sneaks off to the kitchens for a sweet or to “borrow” some blueberries for his rats. That he’s never seen the movie Titanic because he knows he’ll bawl his eyes out. When he smiles, you understand what love is. Copia is the most beautiful man you have ever seen.
The World We Knew - Terzo x Reader
You spend your evenings writing at the old diner in town, looking for your next great story idea. And then Terzo Emeritus walks through the door.
As he lifts the mug to his lips, his eyes catch yours. His left eye isn’t milky, the iris is entirely white, pupil like a pinprick. God, you just wanna fling your laptop across the room. You are so goddamn nosy, and look what happened. Embarrassed, and thoroughly blushing, you look away for a moment before compelled, you return his odd gaze. He smiles at you and tips his mug in greeting before taking that first sip which prompts a satisfied sigh to escape that perfect mouth and you want to die. 
Nave of Hearts - Secondo x Reader
Do you believe in love at first sight? Secondo didn't, until he saw you.
Sitting at the very end of a pew, several rows back, you catch his cold stare, nod your head, and smile. Secondo’s fingers dig into the arm of his chair to prevent them from clasping at his chest as his heart begins a frenetic beat against his ribs. His eyes widen, his jaw clenches, and he stares at you so intently, Secondo is sure that you’ll be frightened away by the madness of his expression. Would the Brother sitting next to you catch the menacing glare of the former Papa and warn you away? Away from the angry, bitter old man who stalks the halls in his retirement.  You tilt your head slightly and widen your eyes in a similar manner, a playful smirk on your lips, and Secondo must have made a noise because Terzo glances over at him with a raised brow. The chapel is so bright suddenly, color exploding across the dark paraments and pews. The sun winks off the silver chalice on the altar, watering Secondo’s eyes. The air is clear, and he breathes deeply, overcome by the sudden and desperate need to know everything about you.
Alyssum - Primo x Reader
Life with Primo is a beautiful story told through flowers.
“Alyssum,” Primo’s warmly accented voice sends a butterfly fluttering about your stomach, and you turn to watch as he takes off his soil-stained gloves, laying them casually to the side. “Worth beyond beauty. And you, my petal, are worth far more than any flower I have ever grown.” His lips twitch with a smile. “Sì, you are beautiful as well. Perhaps tomorrow will be purple heather.”
Just a Nibble - Secondo x Reader
Nights with Papa Emeritus II are always interesting.
“Just there, amore,” Secondo sighs, relaxing into the heating pad with a soft groan. You ensure the warmth is placed right along his lower back comfortably so he can rest against the pillows in the shared afterglow of your lovemaking. “Grazie, grazie. Now come to your Papa.” “Come to your Papa, come for your Papa,” you muse with a teasing grin. “So demanding these days, Secondo.” You slide under the covers next to him and squeak with surprise as he hooks an arm around your waist and drags you across the sheets to nestle against his side.
Lust in Your Eyes - Copia x Reader
The Cardinal waits for you in your room…but sometimes, he's impatient.
Abandoning the shelf of records, he sits down on your bed, running his hand across the comforter. With a sigh, Copia falls back, closing his eyes as your scent envelopes him. He turns on his side and follows the pattern of the bedspread with a single finger, a crooked smile on his lips as he thinks about the very naughty things the two of you have gotten up to in this very bed.  He turns his nose into the soft material, taking a deep breath, his mouth falling open slightly. He turns onto his stomach, drawing his legs up as he skims the tip of his nose across the length of the bed, crawling forward until he reaches your pillow. 
𖤐 you know the drill--bookmark, read, and leave kudos/comments!
(I think it would be such a nice birthday gift for you to leave a comment on any of these, don't you?)
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Kinktober Day 8: Aphrodisiacs (Primo x Fem! Reader SMUT)
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ITS FINALLY PRIMO TIME!! I've been wanting to write a fic for him for so long now but whenever I try it doesn't come out right. So, since I don't have time to obsess over every single detail of the fics I publish this month being perfect, due to the sheer volume of them, I figured this would be a good time to give it a shot. We fuckin this old man tonight, strap in guys, gals, and non-binary pals.
WARNINGS: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, MDNI, 18+, mostly fluff because Primo makes me soft, confessed feelings, weed smoking, consumption of natural aphrodisiacs, reader rides Primo (we gotta be nice to his joints), blowjob, creampie, slight praise, just some good ol' love making, nothing too crazy, they just end up not being able to keep their hands off each other
My Masterlist! ~ AO3 Link!
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"My dear, is everything alright? You've barely touched your tea." You were ripped from your thoughts at the feeling of Primo's warm hand coming to rest on top of yours. You blushed, giving him a small nod.
"Yes Papa, sorry, I was just thinking." You admit with a bashful chuckle. He slowly pulls his hand back, satisfied with your answer despite the fact he knew you weren't telling him the complete truth. You had planned this afternoon in hope of finally confessing your feelings for Primo. But, you would be lying if you said you weren't a little distracted by his mere presence. Despite his age and constant declarations that he no longer possessed the same vigor he used to, Primo was still a consummate flirt. His slow and careful movements had you aching for him to touch you; the way his finger would slowly trace around the rim of his tea cup as he listened attentively to you speak, when he would guide you into the greenhouse his hand would hover over the small of your back, his intense gaze trained on your smallest movements left you feeling more aroused with every passing second. When you would spend time with Primo he wouldn't allow you to even lift a finger, despite the fact that it was you who asked for his company. He poured your tea, he had arranged the charcuterie board, anything you needed during your time together he would take care of. You take a small sip of the tea Primo had prepared for you, an herbal blend he had made himself. The drink left you feeling warm from head to toe as you tried to not let your mind wander, despite your excited state, time alone with your Papa was something that should be cherished. You looked over the small board of snacks he had prepared for you; fresh figs drizzled with honey, the finest chocolates you had ever tasted, a small bowl of pomegranate seeds.
"Did you know," he starts with a groan, "that some believe that it was a pomegranate the snake offered Eve in the garden of Eden, not an apple?" You shake your head with a giggle.
"I didn't. Did you know that all of these foods are considered aphrodisiacs?" You rebuttal.
"Maybe I did." He responds casually, shitting you a sly wink that instantly gets you flustered. He motions for you to wait a moment, he stands and makes his way into a back room within his greenhouse. He returns a few moments later with an ornate pipe and small jar of marijuana. He returns to his seat with a sigh, meticulously pinching a good sized amount for him to smoke. He lights the bowl with ease, no doubt from years of practice. The soft haze of smoke fills your vision as he exhales. "Would you like some?" He offers.
"Please." You were hoping this could help dissolve your nerves, leaving you with no space to think of anything else besides the unbridled emotions for the man who sat across from you. You take the piece in your hands, locking eyes with Primo as you bring the end to your mouth. He lights the bow for you, waiting for your signal to stop. You inhaled deeply, the musky, earthy flavor and scent of the herb dominating your senses. Your eyes instantly grew heavy as the smoke filled your lungs, you leaned back in your chair as you slowly exhaled. Primo looks at you with a satisfied smile, watching as your high quelled your nervous fidgeting.
"Now, not that I don't enjoy your company my dear, but surely there's a reason you asked me to join you this afternoon." You could tell by the time in his voice that he had you exactly where he wanted you. You shouldn't have been surprised, he had stayed himself in the past that he's had Siblings fall for him over the years, you were sure that you were no different than any previous admirers. "Surely it wasn't to try and catch the attention of this old man." You can't help but involuntarily wince as he hit the nail right in the head. "Sorella…" he coos, your eyes trailing over to his features at the sound of his gentle tone. "Come here, little one." He pats his lap. As you step closer to him, he takes your hand, guiding you to a comfortable position perched across his thighs. "Tell your Papa what's on your mind, hm?"
"I… have a bit of a confession to make." You chuckle awkwardly. "Papa… Primo," you correct, feeling this wasn't the place for honorifics, "over the time that I've known you I've found myself falling for you. I'm sure you've had plenty of confessions from other Siblings, I know I'm not special, but I can't keep going around pretending that I don't feel this way about you."
"(Y/N)," his finger trails across your jaw, prompting your eyes to meet his. "I never want you to feel like you're not special in my eyes, fiore." He takes your hand in his, it felt as if sparks were dancing across your skin at his gentle touch. "I'm the one who should be grateful for receiving even a fraction of your affection."
"Papa, I…"
"Primo." It was his turn to correct you, shooting you a playful smile.
"Primo," you giggle. "I… I'm not really sure what to say." He pushes some stray hair behind your ear before his arm wraps around your waist.
"You don't have to say anything, my dear." He gives your waist a gentle squeeze. "We were already having a fantastic evening together. I don't see the harm in continuing that… maybe seeing where the night takes us from there." You can't help but squeeze your legs together at the thought. Being so close to Primo like this already had your body going haywire, the aphrodisiacs you had consumed definitely weren't helping either. He smirks at you suggestively as he realizes your ruffled state. Primo packed you another bowl doing what he could to try and ease your nerves. You spent the rest of the evening cuddled up in Primo's lap, the two of you laughing and smoking the night away until you made the mutual decision that your company would be greatly appreciated in his quarters. Primo had one of his Ghouls prepare a fire, the two of you getting nice and cozy on his couch. A little joint was passed between you as Primo hand fed you small squares of chocolate. You wanted to melt into him, the feeling of being fully relaxed paired with your accepted confession clouding your mind with thoughts of only your Papa. "You look absolutely divine in the firelight, my darling." Primo purrs. His arm snakes around your waist, pulling you into his chest. Your face lands in the crook of his neck, allowing you to revel in the smell of sweet incense, damp earth, and herb. You dared to glance up at him, his mismatched gaze finding yours as he felt your eyes land on him.
"Primo," you whisper softly, "can I kiss you?"
"I would love nothing more, cara mia." A smile ghosts over his lips as he leans into you. Primo was so gentle as he held you in his arms, scared as if you would break like a china doll. You let out a satisfied sigh as his lips finally met yours, finally experiencing something you had been dreaming about for a long time. He squeezes your waist, his free hand coming up to cup your cheek. The bitterness of his papal paint mixed in with the sweetness of the chocolate you had been previously eating, the kiss quickly becoming more heated. Primo guides you to his lap, your knees sinking into the plush couch cushions as you straddle him. He groans softly as you sink your full weight onto him, you can't help but smirk slightly as you feel him start to grow hard beneath you. He places his hands on your thighs, allowing them to slowly push up the hem of your sundress. He shivers at the feeling of your bare skin under his fingertips.
"Forgive me for being so blunt," he starts with a chuckle, "but you seem to have gotten me a little, eh, excited." He hissed through his teeth as you shift your hips. Despite the fact you could feel his reaction pressing into your clothed heat he was still trying to be somewhat of a gentleman.
"Is there any way I can help, Papa?" You ask coyly. You feel him twitch slightly at the sweet sound of your voice.
"Is it alright if I touch you, fiore?" His fingers squeeze against your thighs.
"Please." You respond breathlessly before his lips crash back into yours. His hands slide under your dress and over the curve of your ass, pulling you as close to him as he could manage. His lips trail over your jaw as he slowly works you out of your dress, groaning in arousal at your mostly naked form.
"You're so beautiful, fiore." He places kisses across your collarbones, holding you firmly by the hips as he listens to every soft mewl and gasp he can pull from you.
“Papa,” You sigh softly, “can I taste you?” He nods, keeping his sultry gaze on you as you lower yourself to your knees. He assists you in pulling off his ceremonial robes to reveal his bare form underneath. He lets out a low growl as you slowly stroke his member in your hand. You tentatively wrap your lips around his sensitive tip. His fingers lace into your hair, his hips bucking slightly as you eased yourself down his shaft. You allowed him to set the pace, moaning around him as you looked up to see the expression of pure pleasure on his face. You pushed yourself down, feeling his cock hit the back of your throat.
“Bene, fiore. So good for your Papa.” He groans as you continue to bob your head. He beckons you back into his lap, you moan with anticipation as you feel him swipe the head of his cock over your entrance. You whine as you slowly lower yourself onto him, your thighs shaking slightly as you fully sit on his cock. You grip tightly onto his shoulders, bouncing yourself at a steady pace. Primo rested his hands on your waist, your arousal dripping down his erection with every thrust. You felt incredible on top of him; the way your ass would jiggle with every bounce, your sweet moans filling his ear, your warm body pressed tightly to his, Primo believed you were a gift from the Dark Lord himself.
“You feel so good.” You groan in his ear. Your moans turn to screams as Primo begins to fuck up int your. His fingers grabbing tightly on your hips, he slammed you down repeatedly on his cock like you were his own personal fleshlight. You felt his thrusts begin to grow sloppy, the moans from his mouth quickly becoming more breathy and almost desperate as he chased his climax. His hips stuttered as his hot cum shot into you. His fingers find your clit, expertly rubbing against the sensitive bundle of nerves that sent your own climax crashing over you. You collapse against his chest, the room filled with the sound of your labored breathing.
“Mi fiore.” He whispers, you hum in response as you nuzzle your face against his neck. “Would you like to spend the night?”
“I would love to, Primo.”
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Tag List: @spookyghostjelly @ramblingoak @kissingghouls @mustluvecho @herripinkle @the-hole-in-terzos-shoe @sodomiser @belnovacaine @iamsarahsaysso @ghuleh-recs (I think that's everyone, if I missed you or you would like to be added let me know!)
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noisy-v · 1 year
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Primo's enjoying greatly the Ministry's secret bathrooms 👀
Full vers. on my twitter as usual
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youwouldntlietopapa · 6 months
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When Everything's Dark
This all started here and is really for @bethbroomwrites Contains: Primo x Reader, fluff, domestic fluff, insomnia, family worries, anxiety, etc. No smut in this one, just Peepaw getting some affection and care.
Also available on AO3
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The ache in Primo’s back had started to spread. One more telltale sign he’d been awake too long. Pacing or fidgeting in his seat or sat at his desk trying to find solutions to the mountain of problems that he could feel looming over him. All the things that he was supposed to be finished with when he retired. Budgets and Siblings and Ghouls and Ministry bullshit. Instead, it was obviously going to be another sleepless night. Up worrying himself sick. Again.
Even if he could forget the Ministry business, his brothers were still at the forefront of his mind. Secondo, still grieving the loss of his title. Terzo, overwhelmed by the onslaught of responsibility. And Primo was left to try and keep the whole thing from falling apart. Maybe it should have felt routine after a lifetime of playing parent to them both. But, he was ashamed to admit, even after all this time there was a part of him that was angry at how long he’d been expected to pick up after their father, how much of his own life had been set aside to protect them from his negligence. Another night burned at the altar of that man’s selfishness. Another headache blooming behind his eyes. Another barely contained urge to scream.
...
“Please, my love, come to bed.” You’d asked half a dozen times and you’d keep on asking, begging, pleading, whatever it takes to get him to rest. But, again, he shakes his head and gently shoos you back toward the bedroom.
“Don’t worry, fiore mio.” He sighs, patting your hand. His smiles, small and forced. The weight of his troubles and the drag of his exhaustion stoops his shoulders and threatens to crush him. “Rest will come when it comes. For now, it is too loud to sleep.” Primo tapped his temple.
But your grip on his hand is insistent and the gentle tug for him to follow unmistakable. “You know I can’t sleep without you.” In all the time you’ve known him, he’s never been any good at denying you when you look at him with those big, sad eyes. Stepping closer again to tease your fingers through the chest hair poking up past the collar of his bathrobe. “Will you, at least, take me to bed and stay with me until I fall asleep? Please?”
You can see it in his eyes and in the twitch at the corner of his mouth. Both of you know that he is too clever and sees too clearly to fall for such a thin attempt at tricking him into sleeping. What matters, however, is less the attempt than the reason behind it. You’ve asked before and you’ll ask again, because you worry and you care. Because that’s what you do for the people you love most. He can stay up pacing, worrying over his brothers, but he can’t do that without knowing you’ll be awake with your own worries over him. His forehead rests against yours and his eyes slide closed.
“Until you fall asleep.” Primo nods, all too aware that it will be just that. He’ll wait until you are fast asleep and then slip back out, away from where he might disturb you. “Anything for Angelo mio.”
Relinquishing control, he lets you lead him without resistance back to the big, warm bed that you’ve been sharing for a little more than a year already. Routines that had been established even before you’d given up your own quarters entirely made the shift from spending the night to staying forever an easy one, and once Primo sits on the edge of the bed, you fall into the comfort of those routines without giving him much of a chance to protest.
“Sleep or not, will you let me take care of you? You’ll already be exhausted in the morning, why be in pain as well?” You press up against his back, hugging him from behind, and kiss his neck. Your fingers find the end of the tie holding his robe closed, carefully pulling the tie loose.
His warm hands rest softly on yours and he leans back into the pressure of your body behind him. “Ti prendi sempre cura di me.” Primo says softly, lifting one of your hands and kissing your fingers. “Besides, only a fool would try to stop you when you are determined.”
The robe slides off his freckled shoulders without any resistance, and he tosses it onto the chair next to the window. The glass pot of muscle balm he made himself is still sitting on the bedside table where you left it and you scoop out a dollop with one finger. It smells of herbs from the garden, an undertone of lavender, and beeswax. Warming it between your hands, the short wait is filled with soft kisses to the back of his neck and across his shoulders.
“Will you tell me what has you so upset?” It never feels right to pry. Not with him. Primo is and had always been open and honest about most things. Too much experience with silence to care for keeping it any longer. When there were things he kept to himself, it was simpler and typically correct to think he had his reasons. But this had become disruptive beyond the typical.
He lets out a deep breath and the faintest moan when your hands work the balm into his shoulders and down his back. Massaging the balm into his tight muscles. The ache radiating from his lower back finally starts to let go. “The same things as many times before, fiore mio.” He says with a dry smile. “Work, the Ministry, family. But I don’t want you to worry, si? It will pass.”
“Your usual worries don’t keep you up night after night.”
Primo glances back at you over his shoulder, trying to decide if it’s better to accept the truth of that statement or to deny it. “… My usual worries are for my brothers. Not a former Papa and the new Papa.” His shoulders droop and he shakes his head slowly.
“You do know a little something about being both, my love. More than most others ever will.” You offer gently.
“I didn’t take the position from my brother, and I left on my own terms. They are both… così lontano da dove mi trovavo. Ed entrambi troppo testardi per il loro bene.”
“But you do have experience, with more than a little, and with both of them. You have always had their best interests at heart, and they both love and respect you. Perhaps that’s what they really need, just to know that you’re here and that you love them both dearly. That they are always welcome to talk to you.” With the balm worked in, you take a minute to try and loosen the knots in his neck. “You don’t have to have all of the answers, all of the time, you know.”
“No?” He chuckles humourlessly. “Perhaps you tell everyone this. I don’t think they hear the news.”
Any other time, in any other mood, you would have teased him and tried to make him smile. But, right then, all you can think is... he’s right. It’s not just his brothers, it’s everyone. The overwhelming assumption that he will have the answer, that he can fix things, that he will handle it all. It isn’t fair and it isn’t right. If anyone ever deserved a peaceful retirement, it’s him.
“They are both still your brothers. Papa or otherwise. Just as they were when you were Papa. Still Primo. Still Secondo and Terzo.” You lean in close and kiss just below his ear. “That’s who they need, my love. You. That’s all.”
“You’re telling me I overthink too much.” He turns his head just enough to see you.
“It is something you’re very good at.”
He huffs a laugh and tips his head to rest against yours. “Sii gentile con questo vecchio, dolcezza. È da molto tempo che mi preoccupo in questo modo.”
“Allora sembra che sia giunto il momento di lasciare che qualcun altro aiuti a portare quel peso, no?”
Slipping your nightshirt over your head, you toss it past him, on to the chair with his robe. For a long moment, Primo stares at it, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Marvelling at having someone who gives him such consideration, such care, and such gentleness. Up half the night and listening to his troubles. Still using every little trick short of physically dragging him to get him to rest. When he turns to look at you, you’ve already scooted back onto your side of the bed, propped up on an elbow and holding the covers back for him.
“Hai paura che non mantenga la mia promessa?” He teases, sliding into the bed beside you and pulling you closer.
Not that there is any resistance from you, already pressing closer. From the beginning, it had been a habit to settle against his chest. Letting the steady rhythm of his heart lull you to sleep. To hear his voice rumbling in his chest like distant thunder. Safe and warm, wrapped in his arms. But, on nights like this, when his thoughts are raging and his body is tense, you shift up higher. Pressing a soft kiss to his forehead and wrapping your arms around his shoulders to hold him protectively. His arms circling your waist with silent understanding and his own private appreciation for the efforts to let him keep his pride.
“You always keep your word, my heart.” You keep your voice soft, stretching to turn off the bedside lamp and letting the darkness envelope you both. “But the bed feels empty without you here beside me. Sometimes I think about the days when you were still touring. I don’t think I could have faced it. Months without you.”
His head tilts just so, pressing kisses against your warm skin. “I take you with me, amore, or I don’t go at all.”
Your leg hooks over his hip, not looking for anything more. Just the comfortable, uncomplicated closeness that you share. A way to keep him grounded while his thoughts are trying to carry him away. The silent mantra behind everything between you. I’m here. I have you. You are safe. You are loved. You are not alone. One hand trails down his back, tracing meaningless shapes, and the other slides up into his hair. Silver and gold spun into the finest silk. Slipping through your fingers like a whisper. Your nails scratching softly over his scalp. Your own personal magic trick to put him to sleep. Primo practically purrs, melting into your touch.
“Once things are more settled, maybe we should go, hmm?” You whisper softly, lips brushing against his forehead before kissing him again.
“On tour?” Even in the dark, you can still hear the smirk in his tone.
“On vacation.”
“Mmmmm… Somewhere warm, si?” Primo’s slow, gentle kisses trail along your collarbone. “With a beach maybe?”
You can’t help laughing quietly. “Is that your way of saying you’d like to see me in the swimsuit you got me?”
“Or less, tesoro.” He holds you a little closer, running his hands over your back, one stopping to rest on your backside. His words coming slower, half slurred as he finally lets himself relax. “A private beach. Just for us.”
“I’d like that.” The soft sound of your nails scratching gently through his hair follows the rhythm of his breath. Even as it slows and deepens as sleep finally comes to drag him under. The rumble in his chest turns into a soft snore and you’re glad he can’t see the smug look on your face at your victory over his insomnia and anxieties.
He stirs lightly, mumbling, not fully awake. “Don’t worry, amore. I stay until you fall asleep.”
You smile to yourself and say a silent prayer of thanks to the Old One for everything you’ve been blessed with. Holding Primo a little tighter, pressing a kiss to his brow, you close your eyes and let yourself follow him into the peaceful embrace of sleep.
“Dormi bene, mio principe. Ti amo con tutto il cuore. Sei il mio tutto.”
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Fiore Mio = my flower
Angelo mio = my angel
Ti prendi sempre cura di me. = You always take care of me.
così lontano da dove mi trovavo. Ed entrambi troppo testardi per il loro bene. = so far from where I was. And both too stubborn for their own good.
Sii gentile con questo vecchio, dolcezza. È da molto tempo che mi preoccupo in questo modo. = Be nice to this old man, sweetness. I've been worrying like this for a long time.
Allora sembra che sia giunto il momento di lasciare che qualcun altro aiuti a portare quel peso, no? = So it seems like it's time to let someone else help carry that burden, no?
Hai paura che non mantenga la mia promessa? = Are you afraid that I won't keep my promise?
Dormi bene, mio principe. Ti amo con tutto il cuore. Sei il mio tutto. = Sleep well, my prince. I love you with all my heart. You are my Everything.
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honeyynymphh · 1 year
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alright, I couldn't stop thinking about this so I just quickly wrote something out. you can imagine it as whichever Papa you prefer listening to Papa read excerpts from an old text while you lie in his lap it is written with a fem!reader in mind no warnings 600 words
Shifting on your side, you let out a contented sigh. The flames in the grate twist as you watch them, hypnotising you as they dance. The room is softly quiet, the popping of the logs and tick of the old clock helping to lull you into that blissful daze. Your head is in Papa’s lap, his soft voice the only other sound as he reads through an old Satanic text he found in the library just before Unholy Mass this evening. He’s still in his vestments, the slide of cool silk against your cheek is heaven while his free hand idly plays with your hair.
"'Annon in luce stamus ut umbras nostras eiciamus?'" Papa says, and you feel the vibration of his words against your back as he speaks.
As he has been reading passages out to you, he occasionally leans over to the little side table to take notes for his next sermon. You’ve barely registered a word he has said, too busy staring into the fire and basking in the feel of his steady breaths as he speaks. You didn't care if he decided to read the phonebook to you, as long as he kept speaking in that same low tone you would listen to him read just about anything.
“Yes, Papa.” 
Your words are whispered and full of sleep. Perhaps you should have paid more attention during your Latin lessons but you feel him nod. So far you haven’t been wrong in your responses.
“Brava.” 
You smile and rub your cheek against him, trying to bury in deeper. He smells delightful; the incense used during Mass clings to him along with the heady smoke of the fire. But this close you can smell what can only be described as him and that makes you feel more comfort than anything else. It smells like home.
“'Lumen gubernat sed non docet nos sentire. In tenebris confidere debemus aliis sensibus nostris. Oculos nostros in tenebris relinquimus, ut viam nostram clarius sentiamus et veritatem obcaeatam videamus.'” He pauses, hand running down the nape of your neck and making you shiver. “What do you think, dolce?”
Your eyes are closed now, too busy enjoying the feel of him around you. His low voice is lulling you to sleep and so you merely hum noncommittally as his fingers return to your hair.
“You are meant to be helping your Papa,” he admonishes gently. “Instead you are…” His thumb idly traces the soft patch of skin behind your ear and you sigh in pleasure.”...comportandosi come un gatto!”
Papa shifts beneath you as you hear him close the book and place it on the little side table. One hand is still in your hair and the other comes to gently rest on your hip, his fingers idly fidgeting with the fabric of your habit.
"It is not written that 'Dominus tenebrosus dabit voluptatem petentibus', sorella?" You nuzzle against him, too content to notice the teasing edge to his voice. "I think you have not been paying attention during your studies, dolce"
"No, sorry, Papa." A smile pulls at your lips as you shake your head. His hands are still aimlessly tracing patterns against you, though the hand at your hip has since snuck under the hem of your dress to tickle the back of your thigh. ”Latin is very difficult, my tongue has trouble with pronouncing the words.”
“Hmm.” He gets you to sit up, dragging you into his lap and pushing your mussed hair out of your face. Those mismatched eyes regarding you with a smile. “Perhaps you need a private lesson with Papa, si? I can help with wrangling your tongue, sorella.”
------ am feeling some type of way. Annon in luce stamus ut umbras nostras eiciamus - Do we not stand in the light so that we may cast our own shadows? Lumen gubernat sed non docet nos sentire. In tenebris confidere debemus aliis sensibus nostris. Oculos nostros in tenebris relinquimus, ut viam nostram clarius sentiamus et veritatem obcaeatam videamus - The light is guiding but it does not teach us how to feel. In the darkness we must trust in our other senses. We leave our eyes in darkness so that we can feel our way more clearly and see the truth unblinded comportandosi come un gatto! - behaving like a cat! Dominus tenebrosus dabit voluptatem petentibus - The dark lord will give pleasure to those who ask
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ohimsummer · 4 months
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✎ . . .❝ PUSSY PRIVILEGES ARE GONE ❞
— talking about pussy + one mention of “dick privileges”, whiny satoru, poly! satosugu x afab! reader, serial manspreader + sassy man Suguru, black reader in mind :3
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“You can’t do this to me.” Silence. “Baby, pleaseee!”
“Nah.,” you scoff. “Over with, pussy privileges are gone, and that’s final.”
“All because I don’t like the nickname?,” Suguru asks besides you, head cocked like a puppy.
You tug at Satoru’s strong hold around your waist. “Yep. Can’t get a kiss, can’t give my boyfriend a nickname. You two don’t love me anymore.”
Suguru crosses his arms over his chest, sinking further into the couch, traces of a pout falling over his face. He sighs. “What’s wrong with just calling me Sugu?”
You fight helplessly against Satoru, ignoring his continuous whining as he pulls you back into his lap. “What’s wrong with calling you ‘Papa Sugs’?”
“You can’t be serious.”
Huffing, with Satoru’s overdramatic and agonized moaning in the background. “Pft. Imma show you some damn serious.”
Suguru’s chuckle, exasperation creeping up the edges. “Sure. You’re gonna ban us from your pussy for…?”
“Indefinitely.,” you grunt, finally prying yourself from Satoru’s grip in his shock at your response.
“Baby!,” he whines, blinking shiny blue eyes at you beneath white lashes. “Baby, I-“
“Ohhh, so now I’m baby?”, you tease, rolling your eyes. “I wasn’t baby when you weren’t kissing me back, loser.”
“It was a joke!” Gojo puffs out his cheeks. “I’m a changed man, I promise.”
“Oh, okay.,” you smile at the knit of his brows. “You’re gonna be a changed man, alright.”
Satoru falls over into Suguru’s lap, stuffing his face into aforementioned man’s shirt and whining a muffled ,”You sooo hate us.”
“Whatever.,” you brush them off with a wave of your hand, heading to the kitchen. “Consider it a lesson in punishment.”
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Six days. Just shy of a week before Suguru shows signs of cracking, because Satoru couldn’t withstand this whole thing to begin with. He’d tried everything from begging to gifts to taking your ‘dick privileges’, and then being immediately thwarted with a flick of your vibrator.
“That thing’s gonna replace us?,” Suguru snorts, nibbling the inside of his cheeks.
“It’ll do for now.,” you giggle with a raise of your chin. In truth, it didn’t even come close, but you’re far too petty to admit that.
“Can’t believe that is gonna get more action than me.,” Satoru groans into the pillows. “I’m gonna die at this rate.”
“Good.,” and he jolts up with wide eyes at your response. “I’ll make an example out of you for Geto.”
Satoru drags himself up to pout in your direction. "You could at least call me Satoru, he's the one you're upset with about names."
"No, first names are for boyfriends only."
Suguru lays sprawled out on the bed, legs spread open in retaliation, tapping around on his phone. "Oh? And when did we lose boyfriend privileges?"
"Since just then."
Both men narrow their eyes at you, glancing at eachother before Suguru massages a temple, lids fluttering as his eyes roll to the back of his head. "Fine, we're terrible boyfriends. Happy now?"
You adjust the towel around your chest, and disappear into the bathroom for a shower. "Nope, but I'm glad y'all know."
Ever dramatic, Satoru points an accusatory finger at Suguru. "This is your fault, she didn't take these privileges until you and that whole Papa Sug nonsense!"
"Well, you started it."
Their bickering raises bouts of giggles in your throat. Water spouts from the shower head when you turn the knob, and you tinker for a few minutes to get it to a temperature of your liking. At the sound of your 'ahem', both men go silent.
"First one to join me in the shower gets pussy privileges ba–“
There's a sound of rapid scuffling, Satoru's 'ow!', and then a flash of dark hair as Suguru slams and locks the door behind him.
"Not fair, I fell!," Satoru whines from the other side, jiggling the knob.
"Desperate are we?," you flash your tongue at Suguru as he strips bare.
"Mm." comes his quiet response, not wanting to fully admit this little game of yours was a lot more painstaking than he let on.
"Does that mean I get to call you Papa Sugs now?" Before he can open his mouth, you add, "If not then you gotta get out."
"Yes, kick him out!," Satoru pipes in, door now wide open and you notice the knob is not as attached as it was before.
Suguru sighs, throwing his shirt in Satoru's face before pinching your waist, and he smirks when you give a small yelp. "Fine."
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hecateslore · 4 months
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based off of this little thought I had in the am.
TW: mentions of death and dying
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Simon sat in the living room alone, his baby girl swaddled tightly in his arms. He watched her soft resting face, her little brow twitches and soft sleepy smiles. Only home for a week, he was so used to his little girl. Her sleep interrupted by a kiss on the cheek from her father, she let out a soft mewl, “‘m sorry baby” he says smiling down at the newborn. 
“Such a pretty baby” running his finger over her soft hair. “You’re a big girl, hurt mummy” he said adjusting her position, big brown eyes staring back up at him.  He watches her closely, hoping he could stay like this forever. Bringing her closer to his face to smell her, Baby soap and milk.  
You enter the living room, bottle in hand watching as he holds the baby. 
She looks so small in his arms, He looks so at peace, touching her little ears, trying to remember every detail of her. “You wanna feed her?” you ask, taking a seat next to him. He nods, taking the four ounce bottle, placing the nipple in your daughter's mouth. He chuckles at the baby's grunts. “'I'm leavin' in a bit.” Now it was your turn to nod, speechless. 
A heavy feeling sat in Simon's chest, would this be the last time? His hold on the baby became a bit tighter as his mind drifted. Simon never feared death, he wasn’t afraid of dying.There’d been multiple occasions where death seemed like the only option. But when it came to leaving the two of you behind? He was terrified. Your daughter's wail of discomfort snapped him out of his thoughts. Pulling the bottle away from her mouth, he takes the neatly swaddled blanket off her ( He paid really close attention in the hospital, now it’s the only way she sleeps:( ) holding her tummy to tummy, staring at those brown eyes. “I probably have to get goin’ ” he frowns at the baby, rubbing her tiny back. “Be a good girl for papa” he whispers then smells her one last time, kissing the crown of her head for a moment. 
Simon stands, baby still in arms, “Come walk me out.” He walks towards the front door and you follow behind.  He holds her tight, swaying back and forth, kissing the crown of her head, rubbing his fingertips on her back. Praying to whatever and whomever, Just get me there and bring me back. Just get me there and Bring me back home. 
need a domesticated Simon BAADDDD
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hanafubukki · 1 month
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One of the funny twst headcanons that’s been stuck in my head lately is the appetite of diasomnia and how it might differ from the humans in their lives.
We all know about Sebek’s appetite. It’s mentioned over and over again and he’s always surprised at how little MC eats. Added with the fact he’s training to be a knight.
But I also like to think that the other three eats more than the average do too.
Malleus and his constant use of magic and any training he might need to go through would need the nutrients. He is magic itself so I imagine his consumption of food especially sugar related items are high.
There’s Lilia who’s always keeping in tip top shape and training the boys. Who does push ups everyday. Who’s able to keep up with Malleus even now. Who might have had food insecurity before but doesn’t now is able to eat more.
Silver, while a human, is stupidly strong. The constant being squished mentions in book 7 clearly emphasizes that. Along with the fact that he’s also a knight in training.
So I can imagine them all having at least 3-4 plates of food on the table for each.
And then we have our very normal human Papa Zigvolt and our MC eating their meals. Maybe 1 or 2 plates at most while all the fae around them eats enough for a crowd.
I just find the idea very endearing and cute 😂💞
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do2faj · 17 days
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I found this in the depths of my Ipad
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ghuleh-recs · 8 months
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In honor of her birthday, I made us a ramblingoak mixtape. A Greatest Hits Vol. I, if you will. Oak is a gift and our fandom is incredibly lucky to have her. I could wax poetic about her work all day. It's often actually laugh-out-loud hilarious, scorchingly hot, and/or achingly beautiful. Not only is her writing immaculate, she is also an incredibly kind and funny human. Happy Birthday, Oak! Thank you for sharing your words with us!!
(rec list of absolute bangers under the cut)
The Cardinal's Bride (Cardinal Copia x Female Reader) A Romantic Adventure in the Old West: After being forced into a marriage with Mr. Saltarian by your father you are sent west to his estate in Nevada. Along the way you end up meeting one of the cowboys you have always fantasized about… (full rec here)
The Morningstar (Terzo x Female Reader) Stealing from cowboys was easy, but you might have met your match in The Morningstar… (set in the same AU as The Cardinal’s Bride)
Sap (Secondo x GN Reader) Prep for a ritual has kept you away from your Papa and you both are feeling the strain
Falling (Cardinal Copia x Female Reader) How long can casual sex with Cardinal Copia stay casual?
What You See (Primo x GN Reader) Primo needs you to tell him what you see when you look at him.
One Dance (Terzo x Female Reader) Duca (Duke) Terzo Emeritus was too charming for his own good (part 2 here)
Yay Satan Day (Cardinal Copia x Female Reader) Copia does his best to distract you from your job
The Sexy Adventures of Cardinal Terzo (Terzo x Female Reader) A series of stories featuring Cardinal Terzo and the many sexy adventures he has at the Abbey.
Play Ball (Copia x Female Reader) You weren’t the only one that loved that baseball uniform…
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ventique18 · 15 days
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Ravens, crows, or corvids in general choose a mate once and live with them for the rest of their lives. The pair would take to the skies for synchronized flying as a form of love bonding.
So Meleanor and Levan would probably often go out together to flirt-fly. Whenever they'd fly out as adults, they'd probably remember sneaking out as children and trying to lose a very worried, panicking Lilia hot on their heels. Levan would try to sneak Meleanor back in before the sun rises, but they'd get busted by a chillingly calm Maleficia already sitting by her daughter's bedside.
I like to think Malleus inherits this trait from his father. He'd pass by Lilia's room to make sure he's asleep before quietly heading out to take you on a midnight flight. With a chuckle, Lilia would rise and sit by his window; deep in reminiscence as he watches two shadows gracefully gliding through the moon's glow. The boy may have unmistakably inherited most of his mother, but the quiet romantic in his heart is most certainly his father's.
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pocoyo-yo · 1 year
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'𝐈 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐂𝐫𝐲, 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐈 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐈𝐭'
SUMMARY: you guys heard me loud and clear so here's part two of '8ft blue dilf fucks you like he's young again'
WARNINGS: smut, size kink, avatar/na'vi!jake, dilf!jake, fem!bodied reader, omaticaya!reader, creampie, unprotected, breeding kink, praise, degradtion, manhandling, overstimulation, whole makeout session, mating press (pos.), missionary (pos.), pet names (baby, whore just a lil bit, ...babygirl)
PART ONE
your mind was nothing but fog at this point— you could hear your own heartbeat due to almost every other sound being muted.
your blurred eyes stared at the now slightly open entrance to the hut— jake had covered it after who knows how long.
you could see, just barely see, shadows of other na'vi scurrying quickly past the hut. you knew they heard you two— but your brain was too fucked out to care. it's not like jake gave a damn either— who was bold enough to tell the olo'eykan to keep it down when it came to pleasuring his mate?
"s'too much— s'too much, ma jake.."
you left a soft kiss on his arm— that was wrapped around you. the mucles flexed as he held you close him— you back pressed firmly against his chest.
"you pass out— then we're done," he grunted, hips snapping into your ass while he cock continued to numb your velvety walls. ".. just let me fuck my girl to sleep and I'll stop."
"the k— kids," you reminded him, mind only focused on his cock but your motherly ways still found a way to stay a float through it all. ".. what if—"
"— shh.. I'm giving you another one right now— the hell," jake groaned in fustration at the feeling of his cock slipping out of your folds. his grip on you loosened and you gasped as he laid you on your back— his body now nestled in between your open thighs. ".. what is this— the third time?"
you whimpered, "ma jake.."
he rubbed the tip of his cock over your cunt— it was glistening with your wetness and his cum. even as you laid before him— just a few seconds without his cock stuffing your hold dribbles of his cum from previous rounds rolled down your ass on onto the mat where you both slept.
"don't look at me like that," jake clicked his tongue at the sight of your puffy eyes that were filled with another round of tears, and your swollen lips that were stuck in a pout. "you tryin to make me feel bad? you asked for this— been doing so good too— takin' this dick with a smile. what happened, babygirl?"
he pushed himself back inside of you with ease and you whined— your mouth forming an 'o' shape.
"I dunno," you sniffled, legs shaking as the heat and pressure in between your thighs grew unbearable. "I dunno just please— please move.."
"now you want me to move? after making that sad face— what are you? an actor now," jake thrusted into you quickly— cock drilling into your gaping pussy like he hadn't been doing this for hours already. ".. I saw the way your hole was grasping at straws when I wasn't inside of you— so desperate for a good dickin' down.."
jake gripped your thighs and let your legs rest on his shoulders— almost folding you in half to reach even deeper (like it was possible at that point).
"ma j— jake," you sobbed— eyes hooded as you stared at his wet abdomen. it continously slammed into your sensitive clit— giving it the attention it was craving. ".. s'deep— you are so deep.."
"..fuck— give me one more," he bit down on his bottom lip— eyes only focused on your expression. "cum one more time f'me.. just one more and black out— then I'm done, yeah?"
you traced your finger tips down jakes chest while his brows furrowed. his tongue swiped over his lips— sweat dripped off of the tip of his flat nose.
his hips rolled against your skin— thigh muscles sore from all the positions he had you in. your golden eyes flickered back in your head— soft, broken moans floating from your throat as his cock fucked into that gummy spot in your walls.
".. r— right there!" you begged, nails sinking into his skin with a hiss.
"damn," he hissed, the fat tip slamming harder into your g-spot. "right there, baby?"
"yes.. yes.. oh great mother," you shivered as jakes rough hand traced over your belly— stopping to feel the slight buldge in your skin when he hit that certain spot. "please— ma jake, kiss me please.."
"kiss you," he scoffed. "what whore gets a kiss? fuck— well, the kinda kiss you're thinkin' of.."
you felt tears fall down your cheeks and you pouted, "but.."
he frowned and his hand left your stomach, now gripping your jaw, "but?"
"tsaheylu," you reminded him with a whimper. "we committed tsaheylu.."
jake glanced at your connected queue's before he looked back at you— your body jolting upward slightly with each snap of his hips. a long, shakey sigh left his lips as your deep emotions for a kiss coursed throughout every neuron in his brain.
"you want it that bad, huh?" he chuckled.
you nodded with a sniffles, "yes.. kiss me please.."
jake pressed his forehead against yours before his lips found your own. you clawed at his chest— moaning desperately into jakes mouth. his tongue swipped over your lips before venturing into your mouth, meeting your own. the kiss was so tender— after each drawback for a short breath of air jake kissed the corners of your mouth before diving back in. he was sort of shocked he went that long without genuinely kissing you— he didn't want to separate, only doing so, so that you could breathe.
"you're so pretty, baby," he mumbled, breathing harshly through his nose. "so damn perfect.."
you asked to be used— to be treated as a play-thing and you both were enjoying the hell out of it, shit— jake was still fucking you like a slut while kissing you like he hadn't kissed you in years, but he could only go so long without a bit of praise for you.
I mean, back when you both were young, he wasn't an asshole when you two had sex— just very, very rough.
"ma jake.. fuck— jake.." you hiccuped on whines, pulling back for air.
"you're already doing that, pretty thing." jake teased— hooded eyes only staring at your wet lips.
tears clung to your lashes as you murmured, "you— you are pretty.. ma jake, you are so pretty.."
"don't steal my compliments," he rolled his eyes before he kissed your jaw. "also I'm not pretty— I fucked you that dumb..?"
he pulled back, hovering over you while you tried form a sentence, honestly, just anything slightly coherent.
"you are pretty," you repeated— hands shakily grazing jakes stomach. you traced your thumb over his two beauty marks and glanced up at him. "these are pretty.."
jake clicked his tongue, "don't say shit like that," he snuck his hand in betwen your thigh and rubbed dramatic circles on your clit with his thumb. "and give me that look.."
you gasped, your tongue on the verge of loling out of your mouth. jake's deep blue cheeks were flushed darker— a slight gulp leaving him as your deadly doe eyes grew wide.
"I can feel you clampin' down on me, babygirl," he groaned— cock twitching in the warmth and tightness of your walls. "fuck— you're tight.. you gonna cum?"
his dick poked at your belly more and more, and it was a sight. you knew he was deep but actually seeing the tip of his cock make your belly buldge made you somewhat embarassed.
"jake— 'can't do it!" you cried out.
"answer the question.." he grunted.
your toes curled— your dazed gaze meeting jakes as the knot in your stomach grew painfully tight. your breaths were uneven and your ears perked up at the lewd nouses that came from below— each wet slap and airy thrust.
you whimpered, "y— yes! m'gonna cum— yes!"
jakes let his hand slide to your belly, and he lifted his hips, heavy balls now slapping against your clit everytime he sunk back inside you.
"give me one more, babygirl," he rested his forehead against yours once again as he pressed down on your stomach (the spot where he would hit). "and I'll.. give you one more.."
your thighs pressed against your breasts and that did it for you. the pressure was too much to the point where you couldn't speak— cumming was all you could think about.
a broken sob escaped your throat— your entire body shook (legs shaking the most), the intensity of your orgasm made your eyes roll back in your head.
jake moaned, "holy fuck, baby—"
you creamed around his cock and jake could only get a few more thrusts in before your overstimulation became too much for him to handle. his jaw hung agape while a mixture of curse words and whimpers filled the air.
you panted heavily while his cum stuffed you full for the however many time.
you whined as jake lifted himself up and let your weak legs fall to his sides. he held your hand and kissed each of your knuckles gently.
"I'm right here," he huffed. "..fuck, you did so good, babygirl— I love you so much," jake could see you were barely clinging onto consiousness and he chuckled, "I'll clean you up— rest for me.."
you shivered as he pulled out his softened cock and separated your queues, giving your forehead a gentle kiss before your heavy eyelids fluttered shut.
"and there she goes.." he sighed.
jake resisted the urge to just collaspe beside you and take you in his arms— the kids would be returning home soon (it was almost Eclipse).
he wiped you down the best he could and tried not to wake you while he dressed you up again. he put your loincloth on first— not wanting all his hardwork to just spill out like that. he then threw a thin blanket over you— even though na'vi didn't use them he didn't want the kids seeing you covered in his kiss marks and bruises until they faded a little.
jake then fixed himself up, jumping a bit as three rowdy kids (not even in double digits) stormed into the hut like they owned the place. all of them calling for you— of course.
"mama guess what!"
"mama I didn't do it—"
"mama m'hungry!"
"shh," jake placed his finger over his lips and nodded towards your sleeping frame. "mama's asleep.. she's— she's not feeling well, so," he stroked his daughters bangs and suggested in a soft tone. "how about you go eat dinner with grandma and stay for a little bit. tell her daddy sent you, alright..?"
the three children blinked slowly before they gave jake a quick nod and left just as quickly as they busted in.
"it's fine.." jake sighed and laid down next to you, pulling you in close.
your head rested against his chest as he stroked your hair while he stared up at the ceiling with hooded eyes.
"..four will be fine."
- so I just hit 500+ followers.. wtf you guys??? like ion even know what to say— thank you so much!! think of this as a potential 500 follower special since I usually disappear off of the face of the planet for like three weeks -
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heich0e · 2 months
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single dad!osamu and his toddler son who refers to you as his 'babe'—because that's what his papa calls you
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youwouldntlietopapa · 8 months
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24- with Primo. Please and thank you.
First, I was hoping for some Primo prompts. I feel like I don't get a lot of chances to write him and I'd like more.
Second, HOW DARE???? I HAVE A HEADACHE NOW FROM CRYING??? WHY??? WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME YOU MONSTER??????
Third, I'm not even sorry.
No real warnings on this one except for maybe emotional pain over yet another old man I love. Please refer any complaints to the account above. It's all on them.
Also available on AO3
ahem @the-cardinale just... if you're interested.
_____________________________________________________________
It had always been something when it came to Primo over the years. A few false starts. A few missed opportunities. Always the wrong time, the wrong place. The Ministry, duties, family, Papa, all of it. The stars simply hadn’t aligned. Not like you’d wanted. Not like you’d prayed. And, Satan help you, you had prayed. Each morning and night, before the great altar and alone in your room. Everything you did for the Abbey you offered up as a prayer.
But, instead, you had watched him, year after year. Rising in power, basking in his unholy glory, becoming the man you knew he was meant to be. His radiant beauty and his noble bearing only shining brighter each day. Even as you watched his silken hair of spun gold shift to silver and his taught, perfect skin begin to loosen and droop. Like the finest wine, grown nearly priceless with the passage of time.
If only time had been so kind to us both, you thought, looking into the mirror with a heavy sigh. Pulling your hair back tightly, winding it into a practiced bun at your crown. Trying valiently to put such thoughts out of your mind. The same thoughts you’d been trying to set aside for years… decades.
Fool. It’s too late now. Best to just let him go.
You shake your head and sigh, duty calls and you haven’t risen so high in the ranks to loose your footing now. Just forget it and get on with your day.
You manage it, reasonably well, as you do most every day. Assigning duties to the new Sisters, overseeing others, paperwork, emails, prep for lectures and seminars, making calls about bookings, sceduling meetings. The list is endless. Endless enough to keep you occupied with other things. The way you like it. The way that keeps you sane. Head down, nose to the grindstone.
Right up until you look up and find yourself standing in front of the greenhouse.
You could have sworn you only came out to get a little fresh air, to enjoy the warm early days of fall before the winter chill takes hold. Lost in your own thoughts, a million miles away. While your treacherous feet have betrayed you once more and carried you here, quite against your will. They know the path too well, walked too many times, years ago and all the time in between. Slowly spacing out the visists when it hurt too much to be there. Finding excuses and other places and busy work and anything else that didn’t remind you of the smell of fresh turned earth and the humid heat and sun warmed skin…
“Been a while, Sorella.” His voice catches you off guard. Still low and soft as a summer breeze. The gravel just beneathe is more pronounced than it used to be, but it’s the most beautiful sound in the world as far as you’re concerned.
One hard swallow is hardly enough to clear the decades of desire and regret caught in your throat and threatening to choke you. But it’s all you have before you turn to face him. “… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to… to interrupt… I should go.”
But his hand grabs your arm and roots you to the spot. You don’t want to look, too afraid of what you’ll see. Anger, hatred… Lucifer preserve me, indifference. Still his hand holds you firmly.
“Please… look at me.”
And how could you say no? How could you ever say no? Even if it hurts. Especially when it hurts. You turn back and his eyes lock on to yours while the world around you crumbles to dust and the once solid ground falls away while you drop into the pit desperately trying to cling on to him just for a moment. Just for one precious, perfect moment where he might actually be yours. The man that he was, that he is, that he will be. Not the nothing it’s been for so long, too long, so painfully, foolishly, hopelessly long.
“I miss you, mia rosa.” His fingers loosen, sliding down your arm to catch your hand. The sensible part of you is desperate to pull away. You know this pain too well. How it will cut the heart out of you again. Again and again. Like every time before. “Please… please… don’t go. For me.”
“Papa, I…”
“No.” He says firmly. Not angry, just final. “No. Not here. Not from you. Non quando ho aspettato così a lungo che tu tornassi di nuovo qui, amore. Non sono quell'uomo, non per te, non posso esserlo. Preferirei morire.”
There’s a desperation in his eyes you don’t know that you’ve ever seen before and his hand holds on to yours like you might drift away.
“You know my name. You know who I am.”
“Primo... please.”
He’s already closer, so close you have to look up at him. So close you can feel his warmth and smell the lingering scents of the garden clinging to his clothes. His warm, gentle hand cups your cheek and he stares at you until you’re sure he can see right into your soul.
“How long are you going to hide from me? If you won’t stay… tell me how long is my punishment? I need to know. Please. So I can, at least, see an end. Tell me and I will wait, without complaint. But don’t just leave me here. I beg you.”
“Primo…” Decades. Decades upon decades. Still he steals the breath from your lungs and the sense from your head. Just being close is enough to drive you to madness. Every wall you’ve built around yourself to keep yourself safe feels as solid and secure as damp tissue. “The punishment isn’t yours. You know that. You know that. How many times have I told you? I know. I understand. It’s all right. I don’t begrudge you one ounce. But it hurts and it will keep on hurting. It’s no one’s fault… but, Satanas… It hurts until I can’t breathe.”
“Amore…”
“Please… it… it’s never forever, Primo. And I can’t do for now. It’s too late for that. Much too late.” It feels like a betrayal. Like an attack he doesn’t deserve. Just to say it out loud. That the tiny spark of hope that refuses to go out isn’t really enough to sustain you after so long.
For half a second you think he might let go, half a second that drags out into eternity where you are terrified he will let go. It’s one thing to say the words, to insist that it’s what’s best. But your stomach lurches dangerously and your throat tightens painfully at the terror that you might be right. That it really is just… done. And when his fingers slip free of yours, it’s all you can do not to scream until you shatter.
Instead it joins the other, cupping your cheeks tenderly. The warmth of his palms seeping deep into your skin and setting that tiny, dying ember back alight. “Not for now, angelo mio.” He says quietly, gently. His work callused thumb brushes a tear from your cheek. “No more for now. I am done with stolen days. With lost time. No more.”
His lips brush against yours, so softly it’s more like a memory.
“No more puppet pretending to be king. No more smiling court jester.” His brow furrows and his eyes glisten with tears barely contained. “Ho dato loro una vita, amore mio. Non ho mai avuto intenzione di dargli anche il tuo. E sono fauci spalancate e insaziabili. Ma non più. Ho finito. Hanno tutto ciò che otterranno da me. Non permetterò loro di avere anche questo.”
Primo’s forehead presses against yours and you can feel him fighting to control his breathing. Shaking from the effort of holding together. “It can’t be too late. Please. Tell me it’s not too late.”
“Look at me, Primo… really look at me. I’m not a girl anymore. Whoever she was was worn down with time and this is all that’s left. You… you deserve better. More. That girl got old, my love. And there are too many pretty young things here who would make you happy. Give you a son.”
“I am looking at you. You think I am so blind?�� He says with a hint of a smile, tracing your bottom lip with his thumb. “It’s not them I want. And I raised three sons already. I don’t need another. What would I do with a baby, amore? I have my children here.” Primo waves to the garden. “They are enough.”
“It’s you I don’t have and you I want. Always you. Only you.”
“Hell’s teeth, you are stubborn as ever.” You huff.
Primo finally smiles, chuckling softly. His arms wrapping you in his warm embrace. “Si, I am. More maybe. You know how old men get.”
Your hand reaches up and cups his cheek as he did yours. Noting all the subtle changes and all the things that are still the same. Drifting along his jaw and around behind his sun baked neck. Letting your fingers run through his hair. Thinner now, more silver than gold, and still like the finest silk. His eyes slide closed and the hum of pleasure that rumbles in his chest still echoes through your soul.
His lips are on yours again. Tentative at first, waiting for you to pull away, and claiming your mouth deeply, desperately, passionately when you don’t. His strong hand cradling the back of your head, holding you steady. You’re vaguely aware of moving and the sound of the greenhouse door. But none of it matters. Nothing else matters outside of his embrace, the taste of his lips, and the familiar press of his body. When you drop into his old chair, the years fall away and you’re curled in his lap once more. Hands buried in his hair. His own hand deftly loosening yours from the bun, letting it spill down your back. Combing his fingers through with a soft moan.
“Amore mio…” He breathes against your lips. His grip on your hair holding you close. “Forgive me. Forgive me, please. Ask of me anything. I will burn the greenhouse. I will tear up the garden. I will give you the world if you ask. Only forgive me.”
“Anything?”
“Si.”
One hand slips from his hair. Tracing the lines of his face, all the victories and defeats, all the loves and heartache, the joys and sorrow mapped out over the face that’s been in every one of your dreams from the first time you laid eyes on him. Staring back into his mismatched eyes that have seen even the darkest coners of your mind and never once flinched away.
“All I want is all I’ve ever wanted.” Your hand finds his and you lace your fingers together. “You.”
A rosy blush blooms across his cheeks and he smiles a little sheepishly, dropping his head. “Sono tuo, dolcezza. Come lo sono sempre stato. Completamente, interamente, irrimediabilmente tuo.”
“I forgive you. I have always forgiven you.” You lift his chin and smile gently.
“Now kiss me, you fool.”
_____________________________________________________________
Sorella = Sister
mia rosa = my rose
Non quando ho aspettato così a lungo che tu tornassi di nuovo qui, amore. Non sono quell'uomo, non per te, non posso esserlo. Preferirei morire. = Not when I've waited so long for you to come back here again, amore. I'm not that man, not for you, I can't be. I'd rather die.
Ho dato loro una vita, amore mio. Non ho mai avuto intenzione di dargli anche il tuo. E sono fauci spalancate e insaziabili. Ma non più. Ho finito. Hanno tutto ciò che otterranno da me. Non permetterò loro di avere anche questo. = I gave them a lifetime, my love. I never intended to give them yours too. And they are gaping and insatiable maw. But not anymore. I finished. They have all they will get from me. I won't let them have this too.
Sono tuo, dolcezza. Come lo sono sempre stato. Completamente, interamente, irrimediabilmente tuo. = I'm yours, sweetness. As I always have been. Completely, entirely, hopelessly yours.
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