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batskulldrag · 4 years

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Phoenix by Fallout Boy

Here’s chapter Two

Trigger warnings for abuse, this story has a lot of abuse mentions in it.

Chapter Two: Let It Burn by RED

The trio watched in stunned silence as Payton argued with the receptionist over something and stormed past her. Just to look at him or be near him made their collective blood run cold. Something came off him, something untrustworthy. This was a man who could bend and break people, and he used to practice on them.

He moved past them without so much as a glance in their direction. Good. And stormed directly towards a single room. A doctor took everyone by surprise and blocked his path.

The doctor in question was a tiny morsel of a person with bright red hair and glasses that framed their face. That this of anyone would stand up to the literal worst was amazing.

“I’m sorry, but no one in allowed in this room right now.” The doctor said, all five feet of them standing confidently.

“I’ll have you know that my son is in that room! And you have no right to forbid me to see him!” Payton seethed.

“Your son,” The doctor spat the words back at him. “Has been sedated and is now sleeping. And I have every right to keep you from charging in there and waking him up!”

“I could sue you for malpractice as easy as I could snap my fingers!”

“Oh, on what grounds?” They mocked in return.

“Operating on a minor without parental consent! And denying access to the legal guardian.”

“We did no such thing. And all I asked was that you don’t charge in there and wake up a child who had just been through considerable trauma.”

“Do you have any idea who I am in this city?” He hissed.

“I don’t care if you’re Jesus, you stay out here until the doctor decides that our patient is ok to have visitors.”

“Let me through or I will have no choice but to report your insubordination to an actual doctor!” Many people looked over at him as he yelled.

“You think you can get up in my face ‘cause I’m TINY?!” The doctor snapped right back at him, not moving an inch. “Because if I call security right now only one of us is getting thrown out for causing a disturbance! I’ll let you guess who!”

“You- you should be arrested for impersonating a doctor!” He fumbled the insult as he backed down.

Roman walked up to the doctor as if he were in a western.

“Is this guy giving you trouble?”

“No, I took care of him.” The doctor said smugly.

“It seems like you’re suddenly everywhere, Roman.” Payton sneered.

“And it seems you weren’t home when I pulled your son from a burning building.”

“Well if you were so conveniently there, I think that would make you a suspect.”

A tired, disgruntled police officer came between them. Roman knew them.

“So, you’re the kid’s dad?” The cop, Officer Joan asked.

“I am, and it was my house that’s been burnt to ashes.” He rubbed his temples. “I feel like the world is testing me.”

“Where were you at the time of the fire?” Joan didn’t care about his problems.

“I was meeting with my campaign manager from ten o clock until twenty minutes ago, when I was called and told that my son was in the hospital.”

“Can they verify that?”

“Am I a suspect in this? Why would I destroy my own home, or endanger my son?”

“I have to ask everybody these questions, I asked crazy twin guy the same things.” Joan rolled their eyes, pointing backwards at Roman. “Do you have any enemies?”

“Yes, and more keep coming out of the woodwork.” He shot a glare at Roman. “I’m a very successful prosecuting attorney, I’ve put plenty of criminals in prison and angered even more defense lawyers. I’m also running for mayor, on the platform of clearing the city of immorality, which gives my opponents a motive. And my brother and his friends have started a smear campaign against me. Which I suppose makes them suspect, especially when you consider who was at the scene of the crime first.”

“Crazy twin guy has an alibi that can be verified by about two hundred people. Save your bullshit for your day job.” Joan made a few notes. “If you don’t mind, I’d like for you to accompany me to the station so I can ask you a few more questions.”

“About what? You can’t honestly believe I started that fire!”

“No, this is about a few things we found odd about your house layout and son’s condition.”

“I beg your pardon!” He said through gritted teeth.

“That’s what you say to a judge, not a cop. You gonna come quietly or do I need to put the cuffs on you?”

“What has Virgil been saying!? I demand to speak to him immediately!”

“He’s been passed out for the past hour. And he was barely conscious when he got here.” The doctor chimed in. “He hasn’t said anything. Why? What were you expecting him to say?”

“I invoke my right to speak to my accuser.” Payton hissed, rapidly losing control of the entire situation.

“Me bitch.” Joan said, pulling out handcuffs. “Let’s talk in the car.”

“Payton Foster, I’m arresting under suspicion of domestic abuse, child endangerment, disturbing the peace and arson.” Joan slapped the cuffs on. “You have the right to remain silent…”

The sound of Joan reciting the Miranda bill faded as the two walked down the hallway and outside.

“Doctor,” Patton asked timidly raising a hand. “Can you point me to the bathroom? I think I need to throw up.”

“Right down that way.” They pointed.

Patton darted off and only just made it to the toilet before everything came out. Had Payton really… could he? Sure, supposedly anyone could but, how could they?

# # #

So many memories of Payton just walking out and leaving him or their mother with the baby. Because he knew they weren’t going to leave a newborn to fend for himself. He never once thought to test of Payton would still walk out if he refused. But part of him always knew the answer.

A tornado of his brother’s cruelty hit him upside the head with a tree.

“Another ‘D’?” The taunting voice of his sibling echoed through. “Why do you even try? You should just quit school and see if someone will hire you as a janitor.”

“If only we still had a class system so that people of your skill level could still find work.”

“The only good thing about you being gay is that you won’t be able to have kids to raise to be gay.”

“Your retard called, he realized he was too good for you after all.”

“Patton does that retard know you were held back. That you literally couldn’t keep up with things the rest of us find easy?”

“If you ask me, the retard’s parents had the right ideas.”

And the ever present “What are you going to do cry about it?”

And a lifetime later, alone in a bathroom stall Patton cried about it. After some time, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He didn’t need to turn around or say anything to know that it was Logan. Wordlessly he slid his own hand on to his husband’s and squeezed it as if it were the only thing tethering him to reality.

“Child protective services just came in.” Logan said trying to mimic a soothing tone. “They’re going to be looking for next of kin, I think we should talk to them.”

“Is this my fault?” The words came out barely audible.

“No. It’s not.”

“Maybe, but I didn’t help. I may have made things worse.”

“Patton,” Logan stooped down to his level. “It doesn’t make sense to dwell on that. We’re here and we can’t change anything. The important thing is that Virgil is safe tonight, and his father may end up losing custody of him.”

“To who? What if it’s someone worse?”

“That’s why we’re talking to CPS right now. Come on.”

Patton pulled himself together and joined Logan back in the land of the standing. He stopped to splash some water in his face so it wouldn’t look like he had been crying and the pair went out together.

The social worker was a short man who was composed mainly of muscle. He looked like he could punch a hole in the wall, granted the hole wouldn’t be very close to the ceiling, but still. Patton couldn’t say anything about what this guy would do, but he was certain that this one could tackle somebody to the ground. But he had a kind face, and Patton could read him from across the room. He looked so sad as he listened to the doctor tell him about the case. And just a bit angry.

“Boy am I glad he’s not mad at us.” Patton whispered to Logan as they got closer.

Cobra Bubbles sighed and rubbed his face with both hands as if he were trying to wash the information off. They stopped in front of him and he looked them over.

“I’m Patton Foster.” Patton held his hand out uncomfortably while trying to pull his hoodie down over his sleep shorts. “I normally wear pants I swear.”

It wasn’t until this moment that he realized that he was criminally underdressed for any kind of interview. He wished hell would go ahead and eat him as he stood there in just his cat hoodie, with no shirt, and Blue’s Clues shorts (normally made for women, but he got an extra-large pair) that were just barely longer than his boxers, which he just realized were inside out. He looked at his feet to escape eye contact and saw that he was wearing one shoe and one sandal. Never mind hell eating him, he was already there.

Logan didn’t look any better, sure he was wearing longer pants but they were white with unicorn print. And you could totally see his underwear through them. He had tried to cover that by dawning a long coat, but that just made him look like a school shooter. And the coat was unbuttoned anyway. Patton dared a glance at Logan’s feet and saw that he had his unicorn slippers on instead of shoes. But the worst part, oh the worst part was that Logan wore a powder blue t-shirt that had “Paw-ton” written in block letters across the chest with a big old heart. It was Patton’s shirt, and now everyone knew it was his shirt. And they knew what it implied, Logan wearing Patton’s shirt.

Their eyes met in a glance of mutual horror as Logan pulled his coat closed with inhuman speed. They shared the same hope that maybe no one saw. Patton quickly sniffed the air, he couldn’t smell anything coming off them, maybe they were in the clear, at least in that instance.

“It’s one in the morning.” The social worked cracked a smile. “I didn’t think you’d look presentable just now.” He shook Patton’s hand. “I’m Thomas.”

“Oh, ok.” Patton retracted his other hand and kept trying to pull his hoodie down. “I’m Virgil’s uncle. Payton is my older brother.”

“Why are you both down here? We haven’t even started calling the next of kin yet.”

“Our friend broke his arm getting Virgil out of the fire. He called us to get him.”

“Hi.” Roman waved his cast.

“Hi.” Thomas nodded.

“I’m Logan Berry,” Logan stepped up. “I’m Patton’s husband.”

“So, I take it that you two are ok with taking care of Virgil?” Thomas said, shaking Logan’s hand. “At least until we hunt down his mother.”

“She immigrated to Italy after Virgil was born.” Patton stared at the floor. “I-if she wants custody of him, I won’t keep him from her. But I don’t know if she does.”

“Poor kid.” Thomas looked back to the room. “Well, his mom still has parental rights, so we need to talk to her. But if she left the country and left her baby behind, I’ve got a pretty good guess on how that’s gonna go.”

“Then it comes back to us.” Logan finished the idea. “And we’d be glad to take him.”

“Yeah, and we’re all teachers. So, we’re great with kids.” Patton added.

“It’s nice to finally hear some good news.” Thomas sighed. “Virgil’s not allowed any visitors tonight, so you can go. Come back in the morning and we’ll get everything sorted.”

“Ok, I’ll be back in the morning.” Patton agreed. “I’ll be here with pants on.”

His attempt at a joke seemed to fall flat, but Thomas gave him a good-natured smile. Patton and Logan backed away awkwardly before turning around and walking like normal people. Roman joined them and they all got into the car in silence. As soon as the doors were closed, Roman broke the silence by laughing.

“What’s so funny?” Logan asked tonelessly from the front seat.

“You two and the social worker.” He choked. “And dressed like that!”

“We came down here at one A.M to get you from the emergency room.” Logan protested. “We were in a hurry!”

“It would have been weird if we were dressed!” Patton added. “This actually proves that we’d be good parents, because our priorities are in order! When you get called from the emergency room you throw clothes on in the dark and come down!”

“Must have been a good night if you didn’t have clothes on when I called.” Roman snickered.

“FALSEHOOD!!!!!!!” Logan screeched, his entire body turning red.

“I meant to say shoes! You throw shoes on in the dark! Because you already have clothes on!” Patton fumbled an explanation.

“So, Logan has a shirt with your name on it because he belongs to you?” Roman teased.

“You noticed?” Patton whimpered, turning red as well. “Do you think the social worker noticed too?”

“Ok. No one is allowed to talk until the sun is up.” Logan ordered.

When the sun did come up, and it came up rather soon especially for a Saturday, the three had other things to talk about anyway.

“Ok, Patton and I are in one room, and you occupy one room.” Logan began.

“I knew that SIRI.” Roman sighed. “What are you getting at?”

“Well, there’s still Remus’s old room, Virgil can stay in there.”

“We turned that room into a storage closet after Remus went to grad school.” Roman groaned. “I suppose I’ll start moving boxes.”

“I believe that I’ll be doing most of the moving today, given your injury.”

“I can still move things!” Roman protested.

“No.”

“Can I help arrange the stuff in the attic? That just requires me to slid stuff across the floor.”

“I will allow that. And we may find something in storage that we can use.”

“Kill two birds with one stone.” Roman nodded.

“That’s cruel and has nothing to do with-… oh. Right, a metaphor.”

# # #

Patton walked timidly into the hospital whishing he had stayed behind to get the room ready and sent Logan to deal with the paperwork. But as the legal next of kin, he had to be the one to sign everything. He wondered if he might get to meet Virgil while he was there. But what if Virgil didn’t like him?

“I see you’re alone this morning.” Thomas startled him. “But at least you remembered your pants.”

“Logan and Roman are getting the house ready.” Patton said quickly. Why did he feel so guilty, he hadn’t done anything? “They’re clearing out a room and all that stuff.”

“You seem to be adapting to all this pretty well.” Thomas smiled warmly.

“I guess, but we haven’t done any of the actual parenting.”

“What, are you worried about what you’ll do if he comes out as straight?” Thomas joked. “You won’t have time to mess up, you’ll have me breathing down your necks.”

Patton smiled back, temporarily relieved. At least this guy was friendly, he couldn’t handle a jaded, world weary social worker.

“Let’s go over the paperwork and the background checks and afterwards we’ll see if the doctors will let him have visitors.” Thomas offered.

Patton nodded and followed him to administration.

�� # # #

Logan finished organizing the attic and walked down the stairs only to meet Roman in the middle, dragging up a large wooden object. He used one hand and his elbow to grip it. Tell Roman he can’t do one thing and that’s all he wants to do.

“What is that?” Logan pointed stunned. “And I told you not to lift things!”

“A portion of my own bed from when I was in my teens. I got it from my parents’ attic. Now move, this thing is heavy.” Roman disregarded him.

Logan ran up the stairs, propped the emptied room’s door open and ran down to help Roman with the rest of the bed frame. After three trips, and a good deal of swearing they got all of it into the room. It was then that the truth about this bed came out.

“Roman, this is the skeleton of a futon isn’t it?” Logan asked, ready to face palm.

“Remus set my actual bed on fire! This was all they could do! And he set this one on fire as well!”

“So. There’s no mattress either?” Logan completed the face palm.

“No.” Roman looked at the ground.

“Ok, this will have to do until we get him a proper bed, and we will get him a proper bed.” Logan sighed. “Let’s just put it together, where are the instructions?”

“In the past, no one has seen them in over a decade.” Roman answered hesitantly. “But I helped put it together, I should be able to manage it.”

# # #

Logan felt a migraine setting in and Roman had exhausted his vocabulary of insults from screaming at the futon. An hour had passed, Patton would be home any minute to see what a pair of failures they were. He was at his breaking point.

“Of course!” Roman yelled triumphantly. “We can google futons like this one and use their instructions.”

“Why didn’t we think of that an hour ago?” Logan said in a strained whisper.

After that putting it together only took twenty minutes. This only added to their fury.

“Ok,” Logan sighed. “I’m going to go scream into a pillow, then we’re going to get a mattress for this monstrosity.”

“I’ve been thinking about that. We could get a normal mattress and put it on this, so then it’ll just be a normal bed.”

“Roman, you’re a genius.”

“Wow, you are out of it.”

# # #

The paperwork took longer than Patton had thought it would, and the background check took forever. Which was especially annoying because he didn’t have any criminal record. But all that was finally over, he was now prolonging the inevitable as one of the doctors explained everything that was wrong with Virgil.

“So, Virgil is a good deal underweight and he currently has strep throat. And according to his records, he’s been sick a lot both this year and last year. And there were more than a few injuries. We haven’t had anyone analyze him yet, but we suspect that he has severe anxiety.”

“Ok.” Patton nodded.

I hate my brother.

“He has a few burns from last night, mostly on the palms of his hands and the bottom of his feet. He inhaled a good deal of smoke, but there doesn’t seem to be any damage to his lungs. He also got a few scrapes and bruises from falling off the landing, and he broke his foot when he hit the ground.”

“Poor baby.” Patton exclaimed automatically.

“And the last thing is,” The doctor sighed. “He has a few older bruises on his back, torso, arms and legs. They all seem to very in age.”

Payton if you don’t go to hell, I will petition all the saints to send you there!

“Is-is that why you suspected Payton of… of hurting him?”

“Yes.” They sighed as if the weight of the world was on top of them. “One of the bruises is in the perfect shape of a belt buckle. There’s no explanation for that.”

Patton felt his heart racing, and everything turned red. All he could think of was the innocent little baby that he and his mother had taken care of because Payton wasn’t going to. It didn’t look like they were living in a kind universe, but he really hoped it was a just one.

# # #

Roman and Logan pulled into the driveway with a mattress strapped to the roof and an old dresser shoved into the back. The dresser had belonged to Remus, and for some reason he spray-painted it black, but that was ok. They could paint over that. At least it didn’t have any bodily fluids on it. Hopefully.

Roman jumped out and ran to open the door, only to trip on a medium sized box someone had left there. There was a note on the obstruction.

Crazy twin guy, dude’s going to jail for a while. Cleaned my closet out last month and was too lazy to get rid of this stuff. It’s your problem now. -Joan.

“We have a benefactor Logan!” Roman said happily. “Officer Joan has given us some old clothes and a message of encouragement.”

“What encouragement?” Logan asked, untying one of the ropes.

“Dude’s going to jail for a while.” Roman recited as if it were Shakespeare.

“That is good news.” Logan smiled. “Should we bring up the mattress first or the dresser?”

“Mattress, it should be easier. And there is not a doubt in my mind that my brother put his penis on that dresser at some point.”

“Sometimes I really feel like Remus needs to be sedated and institutionalized.”

They both pulled down the mattress and hauled it inside.

“I can’t believe we’re supposed to be identical twins. That means we have one hundred percent the same DNA! How does that make sense?”

“Only one of you got brain damage.” Logan shrugged. “Besides, Patton’s brother turned out to be a narcissist, do you know how rare that is?”

They fought the mattress up the stairs.

“Sure, but it’s not like everyone in Florida is one, just Payton. Seems pretty rare to me.”

With that they threw the mattress onto the frame.

“There.” Logan said proudly, “A bed and Payton’s old desk, now all we need to do is haul up that dresser.”

“Let’s just get that over with.” Roman sighed.

The two drudged down the stairs and found one of their neighbors standing in the driveway. This one was a particularly annoying middle-aged woman. Single and childless, yet somehow a self-proclaimed expert on both relationships and child rearing. Logan turned right back around and went back inside when he saw her. Roman reluctantly went up to talk to her, it was the only way to make her leave.

“Can I help you?” He asked flatly, hoping he couldn’t.

“What are you three doing? I heard you leave at one in the morning last night, and now you’re going back and forth bringing furniture into the house. Are you getting another roommate?”

“Yes.” A satisfactory lie of omission.

“Where’s Patton? I saw him leave this morning, and he’s not back yet.”

“He has a day job.”

“But he’s not there, I already checked.”

Roman rolled his eyes. Why couldn’t this one be a sweet old lady? Or I nice couple? Or a cute single guy, gay of course?

“I don’t know then.” None of her business anyway.

“You know what I think,”

You forgot to ask if I cared.

“I think it has something to do with his brother, you know the one who’s running for mayor, his house burned down last night. It was all over the news.”

“If you don’t mind Logan and I still have a lot of work to do.”

“Is it true what he said? You know about his and Patton’s mother?”

“No, it is a blatant lie Patton already submitted proof of that.” Roman swung the trunk open and dragged the dresser to the door one handed. “Good day.”

# # #

Patton bit his lip as he listened to the phone ring on the other end.

“Hello Patton,” Logan answered in his usual manor. “Is something the matter?”

“No, I just need some advice.” Patton sighed.

“Well, what is it?”

“Virgil’s awake, the doctors are taking care of him now. And I get to meet him when they’re done. But should I wait and introduce us all at once or do it one at a time?”

He was answered by a brief silence, then Roman.

“Hey Patton,” Roman said quickly. “Logan and I are just dealing with nothing going on right now.”

“Logan! Did you just punch me!?” Roman suddenly yelled. “You just did it again, you friggin book germ! Why are you signaling me to shut- oh.”

“Roman?” Patton asked, now very suspicious.

“Never mind all that. What do you need to know?”

“Well, I’m gonna meet Virgil, but I don’t know if I should have us all meet him at once or do in in little bits.”

“Ok, you’re already there, so I think you should just meet him as you. But you should definitely tell him that we exist.”

“Ok.” Patton smiled for no one’s benefit. “What’s going on with you two?”

“Nothing, good luck with the kid. Bye.”

With that Roman hung up on him.

“Ok, love you, bye.” Patton said to the dead phone.

Patton returned the phone to his pocket and took a deep breath to steel himself. He glanced down at the stuffed bear he had bought from the gift shop, it had a little hive that said ‘Bee Well’ across it. That was the perfect dad joke to break the ice, and a cute animal to boot. He could do this.

He looked through the window and saw several doctors and Thomas talking to a teenage boy. Patton paused. He didn’t recognize him. The baby face had been replaced with Payton’s jawline and Virgil had no baby fat left. In fact, he had almost no body fat at all. That can’t be good. In place of his little blond tufts of hair was long black hair, well long in the front any way. His bangs swept over his face like a curtain. The only things that were the same were his eyes. The same amazing violet eyes. Worry was reflected in them now, but they were still beautiful.

Right now, he was biting his lip and pulling his knees to his chest. Thomas said something and he started chewing on the bandages that covered his hands rather than his lip, the news was out now. Thomas sat down next to him and said something else, at that Virgil put his head on his knees and covered his head with his arms. With his messed-up hands, he fruitlessly pulled at his hair. Thomas talked to him for a minute more then walked to the door to let Patton in.

Never mind. I can’t do this. Patton walked in quietly.

Virgil didn’t look up.

I can’t do this!

“Virgil,” Thomas said trying to sound upbeat. “This is your uncle, Patton. And he’s going to be taking care of you for a while.”

Virgil shuddered, and though he was trying to hide it he was visibly shaking.

Ok, natural greeting. Neutral.

“Hey kiddo.” Patton said softly.

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!!!

“I know this is a lot to take in, and that you’ve been having a rough time.” Patton paused, where was he going with this? “So, uh… I’m not gonna press you to do anything you’re not comfortable with. And… I would like you to come stay with me, but you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“I mean.” Virgil finally spoke, his voice was strained. “I don’t wanna live on the street, and that’s kind of the only other option.”

Patton walked up to the bed. He knew what to do, it was as if his instincts kicked in.

“Can I sit down?” He asked. Pointing to a spot besides Virgil.

“Do whatever you want.” Virgil mumbled into his blanket.

Patton sat next to him and gingerly placed a hand on the younger man’s shoulder. Virgil flinched. He flinched and made a kind of whimpering sound in his throat. Patton felt a rage burn inside his chest. He feared that if he tried to talk, he would breath fire.

“It’s ok,” He soothed. No fire, good. “I’m not gonna hurt you.”

“Isn’t that the bare minimum?”

“I said we’d take baby steps. Nothing you’re not comfortable with.”

“Yeah?” Virgil looked up at him, his eyes red with tears.

“Of course.” Patton smiled reassuringly and ran a hand through his nephew’s hair.

Virgil closed his eyes and sighed almost euphorically at the contact. Patton bit back bile at the thought that this poor, innocent kid was so completely starved for affection that he would all but melt for the first person to show him basic human kindness. If Payton didn’t go to hell…

Virgil slid his head down and rested it on Patton’s shoulder. He had stopped shaking and was just at rest. Patton wished he had brought a camera, but he knew he’d remember this moment even without pictures. This one was going in the vault.

#logicality #parental moxiety #parental anological #platonic lamp #sanders side fic #sanders sides

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moonlightdancer26 · 3 years

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You wanna know what gives me so much joy. Just imagining the snapes (like Tobias snape and eillen snape) literally bullying the mauruaders parents. (yes it's trauma Olympics but God it's also insanely funny to see the comparison between the parents and their children).

So in order for this to work snapes parents didn't want their kid. Like it's a very I don't like you but you're my responsibility. Like eillen sort of has the mentality of 'indifference is better than hatred, hatred gets you kicked out of the house, indifference let's you stay in the house', while Tobias is well a darker morally Grey person. Like he's not dumb to put have blood on his hands but it's not like he's completely clean.

The potters (yes here we accept sirius, James) the Pettigrew VS the snapes. And I know for a fact they would choose the fact severus does dark magic.

The counter arguement by let me mind my own business eileen and hardened by life because he probs served in the army or some shit tobias would be : your sons don't even know that the world moves on after they are dead and guess what both of our kids are going to die and are pawns in this little chess game of war. Yes good people fight and go to war. No good person comes out of a war unscathed to tell their story. And if your asking them to be good even after seeing all of that horror then you are the bad person.

Then I know the snapes would actually bully the fact they are rich and like 'don't know struggle'(and I love it when we bully rich people so I'm okay with it).

This might be a niche arguement but I think eillen would jab on magical genetics like 'everyone here in magical society is dieing and like that's your kids (James) trauma'. For sirius I think Tobias is capable of mentally fucking him up, idk why but I always saw Tobias as the type of man to let you know the type of person you are at the barest sense and tell you that you're wrong for it.

Listen the lupin and the snapes. I know for a fact eileen would make so much fun of lupin dad she would have had a field day.

I think the lupins arguement would be : our sons a werewolf. ( Eileen : because of you., you literally were asking for a fight and you got it but at the expense of your son.) and I think they'd go on how both kids are like sort of having to find their place in the world but their son chose better company.( And Tobias entire response would be : listen your kid hasn't struggled yet, you know why I'm telling you this because my son is in a school house that hates your existence and where he has to be tactile to survive, because yay your son has lovely friends and great have a jolly great time but he will not know struggle and realize the world in unfair until one of his friends die in a stupid magical war and when he looses that pillar and sees the odds are stacked against him he will realize that nobody cares if he's good there's only struggle.

(insert anology on being a veteran and seeing someone die and knowing you just have to get through the day,,, , it's basically the same arguement of yours kids are going to die in a war with some other top leader and you can't even protect them).

,,,

Could you like imagine if the kids were in the room. Like I know they all would be like shit they are right and at the same time to severus : dude you are like so nice a bit feral and socially awkward but you're not them.

Or like even if just severus was in the room watching the parents of the mauruaders realize these two feral fuchers from coke worth have made solid arguements and there's really nothing they can argue them back with.

PLS THAT WOULD BE HILARIOUS!😂😂

#Siriusly tho💀💀#I would love that!#aw😂❤️❤️#mommy and daddy protecting their little baby🥺🥺#harry potter #severus snape #pro snape #snape #pro severus snape #anti snaters #hp #professor severus snape

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papers4me · 3 years

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Fruits Basket, Se3, ep11 (part 2)

The Zodiac myth or the curse lore wasn’t presented to explain the curse or its history. These things aren’t needed in a story were ppl turning to animals was a gimmick that long stopped being used on screen. The curse is an anology of abuse. The Curse Lore was used to be the best “lesson summary” of Fruits Basket story. It is the best way the author can talk to us directly & teach us the lessons without being too direct or using endless voice-overs.

Since furuba started in se01, I have always complained that tohru’s “momma said” lessons were too direct, then se02, yuki’s voice-overs spoke on behalf of other “silenced characters” giving the season a still, audio-book feel rather than taking advantage of the dynamic interactive ability that anime/moving pictures provide. It also felt like the audience weren’t trusted to reach the eps conclusions by themselves & hence we needed yuki’s guidance & sometimes shigure to get it. It is one of the reasons se03 was better in this regard despite the packed content, but at least all characters whose arc was explored had personal agency to tell their own stories & allow us to interact with them & learn the “lesson” by ourselves.

Here I’ll list a summary of the themes that I think the zodiac lore is meant to teach us:

1. “ ppl, bonds, feelings change, that’s okay & natural”:

The Zodisc Ruler wanted the bond to stay fervor, nothing does & it got twisted. Shigure wanted Akito to get it lesson. This theme connects tohru & Akito. Akito wanted the “love bond” between her & the zodiacs to stay forever, didnt feel the need to participate in making them love her. They should love her by default & that’s it. It is a kin a parent/child love. You’d think that bond is natural, granted & expected, right? No. There are parents in this world who don’t love/want their kids. It happened many times. There are kids who refuse their parents, too. Not because something is natural, this means it must happen. Change is part of nature. Akito’s mom hated her before birth. Tohru’s mom, despite being best mom, neglected her when her husband died. Did kyoko hate her daughter? Kyoko simply only saw her pain at that time. I duno how she came back to her senses but she did & tried to compensate tohru. Conclusion: parents are ppl, capable of love, hate, mistakes, & redemption. Living thinking they’re angels is wrong.

2. “ mistakes can be fixed sometimes, Just be brave & try” :

We make mistakes cuz we’re human. Sometimes we take too long to see the light, & it is okay.

Kazuma’s “ it is okay to take twice as long as the others” Dont be ashamed cuz others made it before you did.

Yuki” I wish I could've lived my life without missteps” Don’t we all, but we can’t. So, accept that.

Kyo’s “ I should have known that if I repeat my mistake, it’s no better than not knowing” We repeat our mistakes over & over. We all do. It’s human but learning from them is human too!

The Zodiac Ruler made a mistake of reviving the cat despite its will. The result was ugly feelings for years, now, they came to say thank you & end the banquet for good. akito is mending her ways as much as she can. Kyo tried his best to cut his bond with tohru to save her from himself, only to realize this hurt her even more, he came back & fixed it. He made the decision to stop running. No one can fix your mistake for you. Others might tell you (kazuma), beat you (yuki), even hurt you (shigure). But Only YOU can take the 1st step towards a healthier path. Raise your head, be determind & walk towards the future.

3. “So simple but difficult as hell”.

The Zodisc Ruler only needed to go down the mountain to meet ppl. Then he wont be lonely anymore. He needs to find another cat after the one that died & make new friendships, doesnt need to retrieve the same cat. So simple but difficult as hell. Kyo tried over & over to face his dad & stop hating himself. Do you think he never thought to himself, Oh there’s no way I caused all those deaths? He did. But For this fleeting feeling to become a reality, that’s hard as hell! To stop blaming for good. To stop restoring back to old comforting coping tactics, is so goddamn hard! how many times addicts tried? victims struggled? psychologists gave you an answer & a method? how many times it failed? Many times. it IS hard. but not impossible. Take the first step. Healing doesnt come once. Do you think kyo is simply healed cuz he faced his dad & confessed to tohru? No. He’ll still carry the scars. He even doubted himself walking towards the hospital. Even made sure to remind tohru that their love-life wont be normal. It is his doubts speaking & it is OKAY. Doubting is okay. Tohru assured him, gave him strength. we need the strength from those around us. You cant wait to love yourself then be loved like yuki said in se1, ep 18. Those who love you give you strength! Accept it & keep trying despite the difficult. Above all, never be ashamed of those difficult times. Treasure them, like kyo said in se03, e010. They made the current YOU.

4. Accept that Life simply ends ( grief).

This is a strong theme with tohru. She wanted to keep her mom alive in her heart any way possible. The pain of loosing her is too big that she cant face it & went into the toxic path of creating an endless bond with a dead picture. Always living for this bond. Alive but not living. Tohru will face problems that her mom never told her about simply cuz she died too young. Kyoko never got the chance to teach tohru about being in love, or dedicing a future. kyoko died while tohru was first year high schooler 16 years old. With only few worries in life: study & handle house chores to help her mom in the mom’s long hour work. Tohru had to face that alone. She was scared & lonely~ didnt know what to do! kyo in se02. ep2 asked her, what do you want to do now that your mom died? what do you plan for the future & her answer: “ stop making me see what I’m trying to ignore” If you continue to ignore it, you ’arent alive. Life ends. It is scary. But it is the ultimate fact of life. Do you wanna die before your time comes like kyo was? locked into endless psychological horror, with only the sweet memories of tohru to sustain his days? Do you wanna spend your life lying to yourself like tohru? crying all by myself when the door is locked, tricking everybody that “ i;m okay” that “ oh I’m just helping you, I need nothing” While deep down “ i want someone/ sth & it is killing me”. Exactly like the Zodiasc Ruler did. Accept the shortness of life & live it as best as you can, with all it has.

Side Notes:

How long is this day? Tohru discharges in the afternoon like yuki said. It is not a school day, since we saw shigure/yuki/ haru all morning. So the day started around 9 or 10,am where yuki & shigure go bring breakfast from the supermarket? Then yuki/kyo fight happens right away or around noon. Kyo leaves meets his dad & talks in the early afternoon? leaves to see tohru, the chase & talk & all afternoon. They go to Kazuma’s house at sunset!

The day isnt finished yet cuz yuki is still running to machi before the afternoon! yuki went to machi around the time kyo went to tohru. So, are we gonna see the whole day from yuki’s perspective? or just that missing afternoon piece?

I just realized there is NO WAY, shigure’s scar happened from a night with akito. He was scar-less on morning talking to haru & yuki. He got the scar at the afternoon!! Before kyoru’s hug!!!

Is this afternoon, the afternoon of love & confessions??!! XD Kyo/tohru= done, yuki/machi = pending, shigure/akito= speculated! but if akito & shigure’s afternoon is love confession, they why the scar? Steamy love confession? XD. but scar looks nasty...

Also, in ep 9, while kyo was talking to his dad, akito decided to go to him, too, did she meet the dad, then met shigure?

Haru ate his pizza in the morning & around afternoon, went to his girl at kazuma’s. another love afternoon! XD

Kyo’s confession mirrors tohru true form confession. “ I wanbt us to be togther”!!

Everything abt kyo’s confession screams Marriage proposal! lol. Him on his knees, him asking her to live with him, kiss, hug, then relaxed body mannerism~ married couples & you cant change my mind! XD

“you are the only one i want”. direct explicit desire. no more subtlety.

kyo thinks akito is a guy in love with tohru! XD. He knows tohru loves only him & all, but C’mon! tohru has too many men/woman in love with her! kyo must be thinking~ man~ I waited 3 years of longing & pining, now I gotta share my time with her with many ppl just when I’m miraculously able to hug her! his “gimme a break” face is epic!! XD

kyo being a guy comfortably vulnerable in front of tohru & confessing his concerns abt his body. No toxic facade! relationship goals~

body language: kyo’s unclenched fist represent relaxation & ease. Also, his eye brows were mostly drawn thicker & more expressive with how he expresses emotions. Tohru’s hands changed from her default-tohru-stand, with both hands in front of her, into putting her hands behind her conveying openness, she leaned forward a bit & teased him with confession with utter joy, openness & feminine giggle. Her proud face after her confession is love!

Kyoru were so relaxed, at ease, open, physically & verbally expressive after the confession is over, there is NO WAY they’ll spend their dates blushing, stuttering, or holding hands while looking away anime-trope. Nope! I dont sense this vibe from them at all. Neither kyo nor tohru. I see them so lovey dovey with occasional teasing & direct communication.

Thank you for giving tohru clear upper eyelashes in her love-scenes with kyo! it adds emotions & convey feminine tenderness & playfulness. Part of tohru becoming confidant woman in love.

Saying Tohru is a good person cuz she never made mistakes is wrong. Putting her at a pedestal for that is wrong. It is a toxic mindset that is opposite to feeling excessive guilt. Akito’s guit is good, but her seeing tohru as a high moral person is wrong. ppl are ppl. We are no angels.

Ayame is smooth~ Mine needs to try more costumes~

Why did dr. hatori come to kazuma’s dojo after his curse broke!!! lol.

Ritsu got an appearance... Ritsu exists.

Akito’s tears broke me. I felt her this ep more than I ever did. I still need to see her fix lots of things regarding the sohma traditions. such as stop making the sohma hospital cover their crimes. Isuzu’s parents got away with child abuse altho the child was admitted in the hospital. Akito should stop this tradition that cleans the family name.

Isuzu’s first instinct is to check on haru.. T_T. You guys made it togther. You can rest now Isuzu.

#Anime Only #Fruits Basket #happy paper #part 2 #final season

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secretkingdomjellyfish · 4 years

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Another day, another penny...

Here we are again. Life has become even harder with COVID doing the rounds and offing every poor sod and his granny. I actually thought I had already witnessed or experienced the worst of what humanity had to offer but no, life and society continued to surprise me. From the hypocritical ‘clap for our carers’ movement (The same people who clapped where the same people in the supermarket the next day sneezing on your eyeballs - two meter rule, people!!) to our world leaders and celebrities telling the world ‘we are all in it together’ whilst they lounged in their 20 room mansions. It was all a bit...shallow. Every month is like opening the world’s shittiest advent calender only rather than getting a nice little piece of chocolate behind each window, we get some new unseen horror unleashed on us.

Then came the BLM riots. Another black man was killed by corrupt cops who gave absolutely zero fucks about him or anyone else. People were, entirely and justifiably, angry and the protests began but then something else happened. I had already seen this phenomenon slowly creeping it’s way in with COVID making the rounds but I just put it down to me being bitter and angry at life, therefore my perception of people (I had already set the bar WAAAAAY low) was skewed.

I saw people take advantage of an entire society’s grief. I saw the vultures circle to loot and hate or to share their idiologies of hate and pain and recruit more angry, tired teenagers to do their twisted bidding.

I saw both extremes of the coin take advantage of the situation to spread that same hate and lash out at the other side. ‘Don’t look at us, look at what the other side are doing!’ I heard them cry. ‘The people protesting are just violent thugs, look at them causing all this damage, how else are the police meant to act?!’. ‘It’s not us, we are just so tired of the police taking advantage of us and I REALLY need these new Nikes’.

But then there were the people in the middle. The people who just wanted real change. The people who just wanted the hate, the pain and the injustice to stop. Those people marched and protested and wanted their voices heard. Who were seeing what I and many others were seeing and wanted to restore the balance. Unfortunately they were quickly drowned out by the screeching of the two extremes and it became a game of ‘who could sling the most mud to deflect from their own actions’.

To say I’m sickened is an understatement. I’m embarrassed and I’m ashamed. I’m ashamed to even call myself a human being. My heart is utterly breaking at how broken we really are, how much trauma has been ignored and how easily we are influenced by shiny, new things. How the media continually drives us, like the herd animals we are, to consume, to buy, to hate others that are different to us. To make us think that our little tribe, family, race are the best and everyone else is wrong.

Do me a favour. Find a story. Any major story and then go read/watch/listen to several different news outlets (on both sides of the coin - you know who they are) and see how they report it. I can assure you, it will be like watching a different story altogether. Don’t get me wrong, they all have the very basic facts but they simply cater to their audience. No wonder people think they are right, they are surrounded by others who think the same way. They feel a kinship in a really scary world. The leaders (not the real movements, not the real game changers) take with one had and point with the other.

Plato had it right with his cave anology. Those shadows that the people can see are just that. Shadows. Boogymen. Nothing more than smoke and mirrors. I get that the world is scary, I get that we don’t understand even a fraction of how the world works and I understand so SO well that it feels good to find others who think the same way as you and even if you ‘see the light’ and see the world for what it really is, there are few who will listen to you. Most of us took the blue pill because the truth is just too painful to bear.

However, a new pattern has emerged here. A much more dangerous way of thinking. We just don’t allow ourselves to be wrong, it physically hurts! Everything we do is so emotional today. Everyone just wants to think emotionally rather than taking all of three seconds to think about something logically and rationally.

Society is full of adult toddlers who have a tantrum when they are challenged. Rather than giving them our time, we should be giving them a sippy cup with chocolate milk and a nap. I get it, it feels bloody good to scream and be angry. To blame someone other than yourself or your leaders for the life you have lived. All those missed chances? Not your fault, not your parents or your leaders fault. It was those pesky (insert blameless minority here)

Now I can already hear many of you shouting ‘I hear you lamenting but I don’t hear you coming up with any answers’ but the solution is simple. The implementation is incredibly complex and difficult and (unfortunately I believe it is also impossible but I’m praying I’m wrong) will require everyone to do their part but the answer is so SO simple. Equality.

I don’t mean the bullshit ‘everyone should be treated the same’ that’s not equality. I’m saying EVERYONE should be given the same chances regardless of their race, gender, sexuality, sex, wealth. Instead, the world is incredibly unbalanced and unequal and I have strong feeling that mother nature is about to shift it back into balance because she is a bad bitch who is fed up with us just taking but not giving back.

In my teens I went through a phase (I can hear the sniggering in the back). I found wicca (I can now hear louder sniggering). Now this phase lasted about 6 months and generally involved me wearing a lot of black, buying some coloured candles and generally trying out some cool spells because I could now do motherfucking magic biatches! But, soon enough, it fissled out and I got bored and moved onto something else (mainly the grunge scene - they, just, like...got me, you know?). But, I took one of my very core beliefs away from it. As at the heart of this beautiful religion it was all about balance. Whatever you took, you had to give back and EVERYTHING came back threefold - you had pay the dammed ferryman (you always have to pay eventually and not always in the ways you expect) . So, you sent out good vibes? You got those good vibes magnified right back atcha! Kind of a witchy butterfly effect.

Furthermore (check me out with the academic phrasing..eh? eh?!) many of followers of Wicca believed that their main deity was simply like a multi faceted diamond with many faces and each aspect simply reflected a different religion, deity or belief system and that she was always with them no matter what deity they believed in. (disclaimer - It’s been a long time since I was involved in this so if I’m wrong, please accept my deepest and most sincere apologies) but, again, it kinda made sense to me at the time (and still does). When I first started, it was new, it was different and it gave me purpose but then the glamor kinda got scraped off and I actually had to do some hard work and, being a teenager, I was just not into that.

Now I know many of you are asking ‘what the hell has this got to do with the price of cheese’ but bear with me because the answer is, again, relatively simple.

It’s all about balance. We have taken but not given back for so long. As a society we think that being successful is hoarding as much wealth as possible, drinking champagne and eating caviar whenever we feel like it, occasionally giving a few quid to charity to show that ‘we’re in this together’ because that is what the media have us believe. That it’s the ULTIMATE goal to have your own private jet and generally just whittle your life away doing nothing but pamper yourself.

We think the only way to achieve this is to take it by force. To be ruthless and cutthroat and step on as many heads as we can to get to the top, right?! That’s always been the way it was done!

However, that might have worked for a while but, as a society we have kinda went full circle and are right back at the start - openly rejecting facts and evidence for emotion (well it feels better to believe in x therefore it must be x) and anecdotal evidence (if you crack an egg at the fulll moon whilst hopping on one foot, you will totally get rid of that cancer - it totally worked for a friend of a friend so it must be true).

Right now the world is a giant carnival game and we all know those carnival games are rigged as shit. Step right up, Steeeep right up! Come along, try your luck! Why you look like an amazingly (add appropriate adjective here) individual, I bet YOU could win - not like any of these other chumps. The whole thing is rigged in favour of the wealthy and powerful and, in all honesty, I completely understand. It’s in our very nature.

It’s been so insidiuous and we have been bombarded so much with this message that we now have an entire generation of very broken and exhausted individuals who think that surviving and living are the same thing. News flash. They’re not.

This is why we are in the situation we are in. We have simply been sleep walking and ignoring what is right in front of us. In order to move on, we need to accept some really hard truth and take a long, good look at who we are as both individuals and as a society. Honestly? I don’t think we are ready for that yet the other two options are to continue the way we are going and let mother nature do her thing or simply destroy ourselves in the process. We are quickly running out of options and I REALLY don’t want to be the guy who said ‘I told you so’.

Now before anyone starts with the whole ‘you’re so wrong because (insert appropriate defense here) just stop and think for three seconds. Let that knee jerk reaction go and give it time to sink in. Even read it again if you have the attention span to do so and then think. Is he really wrong? Maybe the truth just hurts.

TL;DR - society is really broken and there’s no easy fix.

#wtf #covid #blm #hardchoice #depression #anxiety #currentaffairs

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wings-of-indigo · 5 years

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A Note on Relationships (that shouldn't be controversial but probably will be)

At work the other day, I got asked by one of my coworkers if I was single. On this particular occasion, that coworker was male. However, before everyone thinks this is another post about misogyny and the assumptions men make about women's availability in the workplace, let me note that I have been asked this question before by several female coworkers of various ages, but all near or over thirty.

And Everytime, when I reply that I am currently single and generally happy to be so(and go on to explain my reasons for this rare state of single happiness) I've gotten a combination of Looks.

There's the 'ooookaaaay' Look, the 'you're weird' Look, the 'You're wasting your youth' Look, and the 'You'll regret that later' Look. (Just to name a few). I've gotten used to it.

In the interests of full and unbragging disclosure, I know that I can be considered 'attractive' for a female (And wow that was hard to say outside my head. But the difficulties female assertiveness about appearance will be saved for another date). Dancing all the time keeps my relatively skinny by non dance world standards (I'm 5'3.5", usually within 5lbs of 130 lbs and I generally wear an upscale size 4), and while I'm definitely not the archetypal model thin ballerina, the fact that I fit a small size 4 (occasionally cursing and swearing) states my point quite neatly. I fit into conventional standards of female beauty.

Here's the thing though, about those Looks I mentioned earlier. I didn't date in high school, and I generally don't date now. Sure, if I get lonely or drunk enough I'll window shop OkCupid at one in the morning, but rarely do I have the inclination to follow through once recovered. And for a lot of people my age, that seems to be weird. In our society Single people arent supposed to be happy about it. Especially women.

And that's just stupid.

Most people agree that a single-by-choice man, even a confirmed I-dont-ever-want-romance man, batts no eyes in any context. A woman of the same, however, is immediately assumed to have something wrong with her. Either she is traumatized from some past experience, or she is simply defective and frigid. Even a woman who has previously proved her 'correctness' with marriage, even children, is not immune. If that woman does not want to enter another romantic relationship (and I'm including the full spectrum of queer identities as possible partners whenever I say marriage, partner, or romantic) after a time, then she is Wrong and Broken. Even if she has been abused by her partner and doesn't feel comfortable or capable of exposing herself like that again. Even if she has lost her long term 'soul mate' and does not want anything or anyone else after their loss. One of our media's favorite romantic tropes is The Woman who Learns to Overcome her Tragic Past and find Happiness in the (99% male) Protagonist's Romantic and Sexual Intrest. Little girls are brought up to dream and plan their future wedding from the time they know what a wedding IS (which, spoiler alert: is pretty damn young. I first remember playing 'wedding' when I was about five and got a box of dress up costumes for Christmas).

So, it makes sense that a woman or girl, especially young not engaging or desiring to engage in Romantic Ventures hits some socially ingrained trigger points. It's still stupid.

Here's some reasons why (for me, y'all night have your own valid reasons). While not at intensive like I am now, I am holding down a full time job while doing anywhere from 15-20 hours of dance classes in studio, not counting any supplemental physical training and gym time I put in outside of class, while finishing an unrelated Bachelors Degree online, trying to shop for and cook dance supporting meals on a strict budget, do laundry, get a healthy amount of sleep, go to acting and singing coaching, and find funding for an upcoming dance program should pass auditions. I really, really don't have the time or emotional availability for a relationship.

And that is key here. People seem to underestimate the importance of emotional labor on both sides in a healthy relationship- you can't just show up to date night or activities together and make small talk. There's a reason people talk about 'emotional avaliabilty', and in most traditional 1950s style relationships it's the woman's job to avaliable for whichever man she's involved with. Unfortunately, the vast majority of men still seem to carry an unconscious bias towards this kind of relationship.

And, I'm sorry (not), but Im really not interested in That. I'm reminded of a tumblr post about cat ladies, and why men seem to think that's an insult to woman rather than themselves- that they're so unappealing they can't get a man. Leaving aside the sexist assumption a womans ambition ahould be to 'get a man'- Dude, if I wanted a man, I could get one. Any girl off the street could get one easier than ordering takeout when she's too tired to cook.

The problem lies not in the getting, but with the shopping. While I identify as bisexual and happily enjoy fun times of the erotic bent, one of my personal quirks is that I Can't Do One Nights. This is not misplaced slut shaming- I am fully aware and bear no disapproval towards pursuing casual sexual attraction. Your body, your choice. I just know myself, and that any sexual interaction with a stranger would be exceedingly unpleasant for me in an emotional sense.

I tend to be extroverted, and I love people. But I also grew up in an alcoholic household with a very dysfunctional and fraught marriage. My mother never beat us, but she's still controlling and can still make me feel like shit, and my dad still tends to be an emotional leech with terrifyingly destructive rages. (Yes, those are mental health issues, and I still love them-distantly- but it's not my job as their child to fix them or get them help.)

As a result, It takes me a while to trust someone, especially emotionally. And, as a female, sex is a huge act of trust and emotional investment.

I would love to create the loving marriages and relationships I see my friends having. It's one of my future fantasies- creating a home with a life partner, sharing dinner and cuddles and movies and giving each other good sex.

But here's the thing. I can give myself satisfying sex. And I, quite frankly, have other dreams too, ones that are going to demand a superhuman level of work. Getting back to the 'shopping' anology- the sad fact is that it is going to be very difficult to find a man who doesn't expect his partner to place him and his dreams above her own, and just as difficult to train one out of that mindset. (And girlfriends for girls are about as common as rainbow unicorns).

Having grown up as I did, I might have ridiculously high standards for romance. But I made a vow to never be my parents, and frankly I see no point in taking time away from what I want more than anything in order to appease an archaic societal preference.

Love does not mean the surrendering of self, and I am not going to devote myself anything less than something extraordinary.

So that's why I'm single, and I'm fine with that. Suck it.

#why we need feminism #feninism #relationship #dreams #romantic relationships #misogony #misogny #societal norms #societal standards

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pornosophical · 5 years

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I love all of you and your support, but I’m so sorry because it’s not enough

I need help outside the computer. I need people to talk to me and sometimes touch me and for my fucking body to stop leaking all the god damn time

I am so tired. I’m not going to kill myself tonight or tomorrow or even the day after that. This is just prep work because I know for a fact my parents cannot handle this shit if it means they don’t get to vacation in Hawaii

But thank you. As an anology, you’re the painkillers while I’m in figurative hospice

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mars-the-4th-planet · 5 years

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Martian Poetry season 2, 4#

My father

The America to my Britain

(ironic anology, yes I know)

Protectorate and supplier

Of food and shelter for me and mum

And the first one to let me know

That I have screwed up again

Stern and autocratic

In the ogliarchy I call my parents

He is the more strict of the two

Even though he loves me too

I understand I am deserving

Of discipline and of scolding

But I am trying to be better

So if he could kinda chill?

That would be pretty nice.

#A lovely poem game with a friend #Father

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webventures · 3 years

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Enjoying the simplicity of Morten Rand-Hendriksen explaining the difference between categories and tags in wordpress using a wardrobe anology. Also clear is the hierarchical or parent child structure of categories, not present for tags. You’ll find it all on linked in learning-

WordPress 5 Essential Training

#taxonomytags

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richmarc · 7 years

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Update on paper #100117

So seeing that i never really admit my problems i tend to write my facts on paper but never all in the same breath or at the sametime, ill let my guard down for this second cause i simply need to clear my mind

Dear Tumblr,

I apologize that i have returned in a moments notice and i know I've been gone for a while. A bunch of controversial drafted post sitting in my file to never see the light of day and fears....excuses as to why i stuck with you so long. I remember when you were as private as a joke carved into a bathroom stall door, now your like the gossip newsletter flying around campus streets. I got dicouraged, knowing i was writing what I considered at the time "blue magic" and my product wasn't reaching the customers in mass quantity.

Lately i have been soul searchimg and quite frankly I didn't find what i was looking for from the moment i left, but i confide in you cause beneath the codes and backgrounds of what you are and the freedom I believe you give me, i feel as if though i have the power to make my stream line of data you keep my world. Ive changed in so many ways and have yet to dound a way to be satisfied by you, so like a battered relationship i guess for now I'll stick with you cause you and I are misunderstood and "I know you love me... i know you do <movie quote "

So ill share how shitty I feel and see what you or the universe will have to say about my open letter to you..

I have been wasting my time with females that i deemed to be a fit for me, just to be dissapointed at the end that they be on some bullshit.

I had a beautiful daughter that i don't have the honor nor the pleasure to be around, because we live in different places and I dedicate my life and time to working and making sure she has a future when she grows up and its not possible where she currently resides. Upon visits their always arguments and fucking ridicule from family begging me to sink everything thats for my daughter down the drain and restart because the memories are more important.

My daughters mother i love with all My heart and never thought I'll see the day we gotta be like this... madd some decisions that wasnt keen as to why we are where we are...on top of the fact that its been years now and forgiveness lesson i still haven't learned. I've told this woman my greatest fears of never wanting my daughter to wake up without me there and etc... and its not easy scraping the plate completely fucking clean to someone who ACCIDENTALLY made you live out that nightmare

So.....suicide would be pointless and selfish now cause you dont live for you cause the moment i seen my daughter and she seen me...I've glady destroyed my world and soley been working to build hers...cause despite the situation im first and foremost a fucking proud parent.

Not eveyone knows she exists, the world is becoming a encyclopedia of open information. Google face recognizing this mf been in multiple pics with you, that you took a shit in this Macy's and their reviews are 4.5, or you spent the weekend in Birmingham's motel 6 and you didn't state how you like your stay.... so due to the confusion i just state needless to say something thats so near and dear to me i don't post, comment, hashtag on cause the world doesn't need to join in that aspect of my life right now. I wanted to take it like it was when I was a kid, you know no twitters and ig's, summers actually spent outside maybe 2 people on the block with a Nintendo but yall all shared games... it funny some people cant remember what they wrote a year ago yet... a memory like that can never be clouded nor replaced..

I work 17hrs out of 24hr days for people who use me like an ox pulling A plough through a fucking field....

Lol... trynna be nice and not simply state its like being what african american always considers on topics pointed to racism... but you get the jist. Knowing everyday your mind wonders off and consider you better, knowing you can do better than this hoping and wishing the boss will shown you some love for a meal ticket to eat and thats no anology js......

To a man who appears to have the comparison of a marshmallow but not in wieght and stature, but color and feelings... dexterities very bleek and immobile. The kind of guy my father say look out for cause they can never look you in your eyes.

Trying to move up in the company and do something i consider something that'll be worth missing my daughters 1st etcs..... had the interviews a month's ago. A flood hits florida and somehow that had something to do with mu fucking response to advancing or not cause some asswipe want to go down and volunteer knowing he's going for the same postion I am and we gotta wait for this non relevant mf to come back to have a "fair shot" are you fucking kidding me? There's 2 slots open and im staring at what I want just fucking sitting there dusting... ok...

My bestfriend that I've loved since I was 15, come to find out basically been lying to me the past couple of years sending me mixed signals about what our relationship is and what it could be and all along she thought lying to me about being happy with the mf she's with and randomly coming up pregnant with twins with the mf was gonna hurt my feelings if she just kept it honest and told me i never had a shot to begin with, meanwhile leaving me looking like the thrist-bucket who's been chasing her and she never looked as like she wronged me...hmmm then to turn around and find another mf you know whos near and dear done the same thing and hid a pregnancy cause they didnt know how you'll feel

Friends are becoming distance from multiple sides of the globe,with the exception of the 3 goats you always keep, love....? Ummm next,

The new company who bought your apt complex decides to waltz they ass in ya spot to call bullshit and try to charge you $300 for something

Uhhhh you get the picture

I say all thst to say it's been a rough little min, thats for those who actually noticed my absence... I'm trying to contain the balst radius for when imma lose it, but this 2'5 9month tape recorder keeps me in check from losing it all and making me retain humbleness, even in my worst of times.....

Consider this a memoir for when I actually get to the sweetspot of life ,the scallops and stallions for breakfast portion

But fuck it we all human I just don't have a problem admitting the shits thats been killing me...

Until I need you again Tum tum

Sincerely yours,

Hypno Umbrella

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batskulldrag · 4 years

Text

Phoenix by Fallout Boy

I’m gonna post chapter three wicked early. I’ll make a chapter list and link tehm alll together as soon as I figure out how.

Abuse mentions.

Chapter Three: Young Volcanos by Fall Out Boy

What are you doing!? Don’t show weakness! Virgil’s thoughts screamed at him.

No, I’m warm and safe. A different thought argued.

You don’t know him! What if everybody is like Dad!?

Then I’m already screwed!

He’ll use this against you!

How?

You think I know? I don’t think like them!

Maybe he doesn’t either!

You put your guard back up this instant!

Let me enjoy this…

Virgil ignored his louder instincts for the time being and pressed his head further into Patton’s shoulder. It was a nice feeling, and sure he probably couldn’t trust this guy, but he was going to enjoy feeling like this while he could. Patton seemed like a nice guy, and he smelled like butter. And everything else smelled like hand sanitizer, and it was cold because it was a hospital. But Patton was all warm.

Besides, even if he was going to do anything, he couldn’t with witnesses hanging around and security cameras everywhere. Maybe this was ok. Maybe this was normal. Virgil let himself slide down lower and rested his head on Patton’s lap.

“Ya getting sleepy there, kiddo?” Patton cooed, still stroking his hair.

“No, I’m ok.” Virgil mumbled. This was nice. He wanted to stay here.

“Ok.”

Virgil became aware of Patton’s heartbeat it was going fast. Was he nervous too? That was weird. Why was he worried?

Virgil sighed. Both Patton and Thomas were probably waiting for him to say something. Hell, they were probably expecting him start belting songs from Annie or jump up and click his heels. It’s not everyday someone gets pulled out of hell and sent somewhere better, so they were probably looking for a more mood fitting reaction than lying down and taking a nap. One more minute.

“So, what happens now?” Virgil asked, keeping his head on Patton’s lap. One more minute.

“Well, Patton has already signed all the forms and the background check should be coming back tomorrow.” Thomas answered, for whatever reason he looked really content. “So, as soon as you’re discharged you can go home with him.”

“When can I be discharged?” He was trying not to sound too eager. If they knew he wanted something they could probably use that to toy with him.

“I’m afraid that’s up to your doctors.”

“Ok.” That made sense.

“But when you do get out, we’ll have your room all ready.” Patton chirped at him. “And you’ll need to tell me what all your favorite foods are so I can make them.”

What an odd thing to say. I guess I should get up. One more minute.

“Ok.” He mumbled.

“Oh, and do you have any allergies or eating restrictions. Like vegetarian or vegan and the like?”

“No.” One more minute.

“As for right now.” Thomas sounded hesitant, was he going to kick Patton out? “Your doctors and I need to document your bruises. And if you want to you can make a statement for prosecution.”

“Right now?” Virgil sighed, no more hitting reality’s snooze bar. He slowly pulled himself back up.

“It is better we do it sooner rather than later.” Thomas sighed. ��Patton can stay if you’d like him to.”

“Good idea, I was hoping for an even bigger group of people to see me in my underwear.” Virgil sneered, rubbing his arm. Despite his will he also felt his face going red. Damnit.

“I know it’s uncomfortable, but it’s kind of a necessary evil.”

Virgil sighed and glanced at Patton. He might as well stay. This was as good a test to see if he was weird as any. Right? Yeah, he could be a serial killer, or this could be his kink or something like that. Best to know what he was going to get himself into. Just that. That and no other reason.

“I mean, he can stay if he wants to.” Virgil mumbled impassively. “It’s a free country, he can do whatever.”

“I’ll give you your privacy.” Patton replied, ruffling his hair. “I’ll come back in when they’re done kiddo.”

Patton stood up and took a few steps towards the door. Virgil’s heart sank. Patton abruptly stopped and turned around.

Are you gonna stay?

“I almost forgot to give you this.” Patton said happily. “this should help you ‘bear’ your stay here.”

Patton gleefully produced a stuffed bear and gently set in his mummified hands. As the toy stared derpilly up at him he got the joke and impulsively smiled. Then he saw the pun written across the bear and let out a laugh. Double whammy with the dad jokes. He glanced at Patton and saw that the older man was beaming (bee-ming?), clearly enthralled that Virgil liked the joke.

“He’s cool.” Virgil tried to play it off. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” Patton turned back to the door. “I’ll be right out here if you need me. Ok?”

“Ok.”

Patton closed the door behind him only to reappear in the window and wave enthusiastically at him. He mouthed out the words I’ll be right here and gave a thumbs up. Virgil waved in return and fought back another smile. Patton was a funny guy and so far, he seemed pretty cool.

# # #

Patton shook his arms to get the relief tinglies to calm down. Everything seemed to go well. Virgil didn’t hate him, and he even liked dad jokes. And he liked the bear. So far things were going well.

He saw them close the blinds in Virgil’s room so that no one in the hallway could peep in on him. They must have started cataloging his bruises. Patton hoped his brother had a mean cellmate. He made a mental note to look up a few legal things when he got home.

While waiting Patton sent Logan a quick text to let him know everything was going ok on his end and to ask what was going on in the outside world.

# # #

Logan set another casserole dish on top of the stove. He had to shove aside the other three dishes, the two pies and the pot of soup. Both Patton’s library friends and all their neighbors had been at it for hours.

“How many friends does Patton have?” Roman exclaimed, walking into the kitchen with a Tupperware of pasta. “And why are they all old ladies?”

“Some of them are just parents whose kids were in his class.” Logan sighed. “He’s a lot of kids’ favorite teacher.”

“Is the fridge full?”

“Yes, just set the pasta on the table.”

“Any updates on the news?” Roman set the dish down exhaustedly.

“No, not yet.” Logan looked at his phone. “Patton texted. He says that Virgil’s fine, and seems excited to come live with us. And of course, he wants to know how we are.”

“Drowning in food and tired of small talk.” Roman switched into a frail voice. “It was so brave of you to rescue that boy. It’s so good of you three to take that boy in like this. It’s about time Patton and Logan adopted a kid.” He changed back. “I never thought I would get sick of praise. I feel like Jack Skellington.”

“Minus the kidnapping I hope.”

“You’re the one with the kid now.” Roman jabbed, eating the pasta straight from the dish with his hands.

“Roman, get a plate.” Logan began.

They were interrupted by a knock at the door.

“If that’s Barbra from next door I’m calling the police.” Roman stood up dramatically.

“It’s my turn to deal with callers,” Logan walked towards the hallway. “But if it is her, I’m getting you.”

“Let’s set her up with my brother the next time we know where he is.” Roman laughed. “She’ll never speak to us again.”

“Neither will Remus.”

Logan could still hear Roman laughing when he got to the front door. He glanced through the peephole to see if it was indeed well-wishers. He instead saw several smartly dressed people bearing cameras and tape recorders rather than food. With few other options he turned out the lights in the front room and went back into the kitchen.

Roman was taking inventory when he got back.

“Say Lo-bot, how much of this could we take to the homeless shelter?” He asked casually. “I don’t want to be disrespectful or ungrateful, but this is a lot. The freezer is full, the refrigerator is full, and the oven is full. It would be more disrespectful to let this go to waste when the less fortunate could have it.”

“We will discuss that later,” Logan took the car keys off the rack. “But it is a good idea.”

“Where are you going?” Roman squinted at him.

“I’m going to pick Patton up from the hospital.”

“Who was at the door?”

“Reporters have found us. I’m all for the first amendment, but I do not wasn’t to be harassed in my own home. So, I’m leaving.”

“But won’t they go away if we talk to them?”

“Yes, but then they, and all others will think it’s okay to show up at people’s houses.”

Roman looked around.

“We could ask them in for dinner.” He laughed.

“But we won’t.”

# # #

Patton sat at the foot of the bed while Virgil sat across from him at the head. Virgil was sitting cross-legged with his casted foot poking out from under the blanket and the bear in his lap. Patton clicked his heels together; it was very quiet.

“You’re not much of a talker.” Patton teased.

“My throat hurts.” Virgil answered.

“Oh, right. Sorry.”

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!!!!!

“So, you’re really my dad’s brother?” Virgil asked skeptically.

“Yeah, he’s about three years older than me.”

“And you’re related?”

“Yep, people used to mistake us for twins. Until I had to get glasses.”

Virgil coughed and tapped the bear on the nose a few times.

“This isn’t actually my first time meeting you.” Patton started. “My mom and I kind of did a lot of the raising when you were a baby.”

“Is that stuff dad said true?”

“No.” Patton dropped his shoulders. “It’s not. Our mother was wonderful and supportive. She even took Logan in after-” He stopped himself. “No, it’s not true. He was the homophobe.”

“Yeah, I never really believed the pseudo-rape story.” Virgil shifted his feet. “Dad always seemed more like a predatory animal. And maybe that was a front, but if it was it was flawless.”

“I think Payton said something about being with her for posterity.” Patton rubbed his arm. “She was really pretty and was a cheer leader in high school. And a lot of guys wanted to be with her. So, it was like a triumph for him.”

“He told you?” Virgil coughed.

“No. I just kind of figured. He did say he was gonna marry her, you know when we found out about you.”

“Why?”

“Because.” Patton mimicked his brother’s tone. “Children need a mommy and a daddy. And I have to accept my mistakes.” Patton switched back. “I never really believed him.”

Virgil shivered and looked down into his lap. Through his bangs Patton could see him biting his lip.

“I’m sorry.” Patton said quickly, but softly. “I shouldn’t have brought that up. I should have known that would hit too close to home for you. I’m sorry.”

Virgil looked at him quizzically and his eyes darted around the room. He seemed utterly baffled. Still looking like the world had just flipped over Virgil crawled over and put his head back into Patton’s lap.

“Are you ok, Kiddo?”

“Yeah,” He sounded stunned. “I’m fine. I-I just need to pull my thoughts together.”

“I get what you mean.” Patton tried to lighten the mood. “I never think straight, just ask my husband.”

Virgil laughed very softly.

“We’re gonna have to get that laugh stronger.” Patton teased, stroking his hair. “As soon as your throat is better, we’ll have you practice.”

“Practice?”

“Practice laughing, ya goof!”

“I’m dreaming, aren’t I?” Virgil said in a strained voice.

“No, you’re wide awake.” Patton soothed. “And I can prove it. Your throat hurts, doesn’t it?”

“Like I swallowed a bag of razors.”

“Well, you can’t feel pain in dreams. And you can only feel one emotion at a time in them.”

“Really?”

“Yeppers, if you’re having a happy dream, you’re happy in the dream and nothing else. Same for all the other types of dreams. And they’re never this elaborate.”

“I guess not.” Virgil yawned.

“And you can’t get tired in a dream, now can you?” Patton asked, booping the younger man on the nose. “And you can’t learn something you don’t know in a dream, because it’s in your mind. And you don’t know what you don’t know.”

“So, this is real?” He yawned again. “It’s not a dream or an act or something.”

“Nope, it’s as real as that sore throat of yours.”

“Ok.” Virgil sighed, his eyes fluttering closed. “You can keep talking if you want.”

“Maybe I’d better go until you’re feeling better.” Patton brushed his fingers through Virgil’s hair. It was starting to feel like he hadn’t showered, which was fair.

“Can you stay until I fall asleep?” Virgil mumbled, halfway asleep already.

“Of course, I can.”

# # #

Patton paced into the waiting room. Logan had texted him saying he was coming to pick him up. He thought that was a bit unnecessary, but it would be nice to not have to take the bus.

“Maybe Logan missed me.” Patton said to himself with a coy smile. “I guess we’ll have to pick up dinner on the way back.”

Patton slid into one of the uncomfortable chairs that normally furnished all waiting rooms. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. Maybe he’d just tune out for a minute.

“In other news we have conformation that the destruction of former mayoral candidate Payton Foster’s home last night was in fact arson. Traces of accelerant were found inside the house, leaving Mr. Foster himself as the prime suspect. Police believe he was attempting to destroy evidence of previous crimes for which he had been accused. His teenage son is reported to have escaped the fire with minor injury thanks to the actions of a heroic stranger. That’s quite the Disney convince, eh, Garbo?”

Patton glanced wearily at the TV as the reporter’s counterpart took over.

“But he’s not so strange anymore now Malloy. We did figure who he is. Seems that drama teacher slash community theater star Roman Lupine has gotten tired of the stage and is out there looking for drama in real life. That may suit Mr. Lupine, but I think here on Garbo and Malloy we would just stick to playing fictional heroes.”

Patton started looking for a remote to change the channel or just flat out turn this thing off. The publicity was bad enough, but he hated these guys’ banter. How did they even get this job?

“And of course, we all recognize Mr. Lupine from his press infiltration over a week ago.” Malloy droned.

“Speaking of the ShareBook incident, most of our sources believe that Foster’s brother will be taking custody of his son.” Garbo, who was aptly named countered. “But so far no one has been able to get a hold of any of them.”

“Well let’s hope Mr. Foster and his husband are prepared for their new son coming out as straight.” Malloy swung for the obvious joke.

The two trash goblins laughed like they were those guys from the Muppets and they mercifully changed the subject.

“Next up on Garbo and Malloy, Garbo and Malloy go dumpster diving.”

“Don’t come back.” Patton pleaded as he finally found the remote and shut the TV off. “And Thomas already told that joke.”

He slid back into a chair and sighed hard. How could anyone joke or bant about this? It was a little like saying Anne Frank was bad at hide and seek, it wasn’t funny. It was just tasteless. And were they making fun of Roman?

“Excuse me, I’m looking for a patient by the name of Foster.” Someone interrupted his brooding and worsened his mood.

“Are you family?” The receptionist countered.

“No, I’m with the press, I’d like to see if he or his current guardians are willing to do an interview.”

“Come back tomorrow.”

Not willing to do that, Patton his behind a chair until he was sure this man was gone.

# # #

The car ride home was saturated in a tense quiet for the first few minutes. With a look they all communicated exactly what they knew to one another. Unfortunately, they all knew a lot of the same things. Both Patton and Logan had at least fifty unchecked messages on their phones and Roman was in the back seat agitatedly sending out explanations to every single person in his contact list.

“How has everyone in Florida found out about this so quickly?” Roman sighed from his spot on the back. “One of my students texted me somehow knowing that I was in the hospital last night. I have never been so fed up with the age of information.”

“They were talking about you on Garbo and Malloy.” Patton added in a barely audible mumble.

“Were they reviewing the play?”

“No, they were talking about the fire.”

“Those two discuss current events?” Logan interrupted, sounding absolutely dumbfounded.

“Not very well.” Patton sighed. “They were making fun of Roman.”

“Oh, of course that were!” Roman barked. He then slid into a mimic of one of the reporters. “Next up on Garbage and Malloy, Garbage and Malloy let a child burn to death in a fire, ‘cause people who try to help are just attention seekers. hA ha Ha HA.”

“Several of your friends from work brought us food and expressions of good luck.” Logan added, evidently trying to change the subject.

“Aww, that’s sweet.” Patton melted into his seat. “All this talk of my brother was starting to make me doubt humanity.”

“Well,” Logan sighed. “I certainly hope you’re hungry.”

A question bounced back and forth between Logan and Roman. Well, more like the question. And the question took turns resting in their brains and mouths but remained unspoken.

“Patton,” Logan sighed, tightening his grip on the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. “Did Payton actually…” He couldn’t say it.

“Yes.” Patton gagged on the words, they tasted vile. “He did.”

With that the silence returned.

#logicality #parental moxiety #parental anological #platonic LAMP #sanserssides #sanderssidesfic #Romile #hugs and cuddles

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batskulldrag · 4 years

Text

Phoenix by Fallout Boy

chapter nine. no oc’s background dudes are either youtubers or characters from 2017′s dream daddy a dad dating simulator. abuse mention trigger warnings, there will be one warning in every chapter

Chapter Nine: Who We Are by Imagine Dragons. I know it’s not about fire, but it always made me think about the heroes around a bonfire singing. So, there.

Patton sat in the back seat with Virgil’s head on his lap. He had settled down for the most part.

“I’m sorry I had a meltdown in there.” Virgil said for what was now the sixth time.

“It’s ok.” Patton rubbed his back. “You had all that bottled up for a while.”

“But I still made a scene like a dumb crying baby.”

“Well, was the thrift store an ideal place for that? No. But, like I said you had that bottled up for a while.”

“I made an idiot out of myself. And I embarrassed you three.”

“I’m not embarrassed. Sometimes you just get hit in the right nerve and it all comes out. That’s why you shouldn’t repress things. If you do you can’t control when it breaks free.”

“I’m really sorry.”

“I understand. After Mom died, I fought off my feelings for a long time. Then I went to get groceries and ended up sobbing over a box of cornflakes. I just kinda fell to my knees in the middle of the aisle and cried my eyes out, holding a box of corn flakes.”

“That makes me shiver just to hear it.”

“Well, it’s hard to control when or how we feel things. Or when we feel things loudly.”

“Or when we break down like a dumb crying baby. Again, might I add.”

“Well, we can’t exactly press undo. So, we just have to move on.”

“I guess you want details.” Virgil pulled his hoodie over his face.

“Not if you don’t want to talk about it.” Patton kept rubbing his back. “But how do know what your dad was up to?”

“I snooped around his stuff while he wasn’t home. And I’m not as stupid as he thinks I am, so I knew what everything meant.”

“That might have been dangerous to do kiddo.”

“He didn’t catch me. Thank God. But yeah, that probably could have been how my entire being would die.”

“Do you think that’s why he started that fire?”

“That certainly seems like something you’d wanna burn.”

“Well, we’ll make an appointment so you can tell the police what you know.”

“They won’t believe me.”

“You don’t know that.”

“No, I guess not. I can’t prove anything though.”

“Let’s not worry about that right now.”

“Is it true? That I can stay?” Virgil looked up at him.

“Yes. We want you to stay with us and we’re going to do anything we can to make sure of that.”

“Why? I mean, that sounds awesome. But why? What do you care?”

“Well, first of all, you’re family. And to me at least that means something. Secondly, even if you weren’t, I’d still wanna help you. Because no one deserves to be treated the way my brother treated you.”

Virgil sat up and wiped his face with his sleeve.

“Do you wanna keep going or have you had enough fun for today?” Patton reached over and pet his head.

“We can keep going.” Virgil pushed his head into Patton’s hand like a kitten. “I’ve been trapped indoors for like two weeks now, and you guys have been isolated since I showed up.”

“Ok, we’ll tell the others when they come back out here” Patton scratched the kiddo’s head lightly.

“I am sorry about that scene I caused back there.”

“I don’t think anyone noticed.” Patton smiled.

“Don’t lie to me.” Virgil sighed.

Logan and Roman came in with only the sound of the car doors closing. They both paused for a minute.

“Are you alright Virgil?” Logan was the first to break the silence.

“Yeah,” He looked at the floor. “I’m sorry about causing a scene.”

“I just told everyone that your leg started swelling up,” Roman said with a shrug. “Very painful experience.”

“Did they buy it?” Virgil winced.

Roman shrugged.

“I am sorry about making a scene.” Virgil wrapped his arms around himself.

“Well, hopefully this is the start of you being able to process everything.” Logan adjusted his glasses. “So, would you like to continue our excursion, or are you ready to go home?”

“I’m ok to keep going.” Virgil sighed. “I usually try to limit my public humiliation to once per day.”

“Sometimes you just need to have your dramatic breakdown and cause a scene.” Roman said calmly.

Virgil squinted skeptically at the back of Roman’s seat and sneered. Patton had to repress a laugh at this display of disgust.

“Virgil.” Logan broke the silence as they started driving. “Roman tells me that you’re quite the avid reader. Do you have any books that you prefer?”

“Uhh…” Virgil looked at Patton in confusion. “I like Henry James. His take on ghosts was always pretty cool.”

“He also had novel, at the time, ideals about woman’s place in society.”

“Yeah, that too.”

“Which ghost story is your favorite?” Patton perked up. Maybe if they kept him talking, he wouldn’t have another attack.

“Well, he has this one about a couple of older ladies who are kind of haunted by one of their dead relatives. But they really see him as a buddy more than a threat.”

“Aww. That’s sweet.”

# # #

Logan and Roman caught on to Patton’s idea and both made an effort to keep Virgil talking. Talking about anything really, anything but Payton. Logan had the rules of chess reiterated to him and now knew every strategy that Virgil was aware of. Roman asked about every book he could think of and requested a synopsis of most titles. He had attended a year’s worth of book clubs in one hour. And Patton had brought up music, he learned about a lot of emo bands. He didn’t know that many emo bands existed.

“And their guitarist is actually married to Gerard Way.” Virgil happily finished a monologue as he looked at socks. “They’re still together and everything.” He looked off to the side. “Glad to see that not everything of his breaks up.”

“That’s nice.” Patton smiled. He had no clue what this kid was talking about, but he was so excited.

“I know you probably don’t care.” Virgil looked at the ground. “But I’m glad you were listening.”

Is this a naturally occurring hug moment?

Patton risked it and stepped in for a hug. Virgil saw him, shrugged and stepped into his arms.

“So, you’re just like this then?” Virgil was muffled by Patton’s shoulder.

“Yes, prepare to get so many hugs.”

“I can be ok with that.” He fell into his arms and almost went limp.

Oh, you poor anxious little touch starved baby.

“I really can’t wrap my head around the idea that you’re my dad’s brother.” Virgil laughed half-heartedly as he slid out of the hug.

“We don’t have to talk about him.” Patton said softly.

Virgil smiled at him in response. It was his usual tiny smile with his lips only parted about a centimeter. His stunning eyes, which normally looked aged beyond his years lit up slightly. All in all, Virgil looked pleasantly surprised. And it was adorable.

Patton beamed back at him.

“So, who’s your favorite band?” Patton went on, afraid of another opportunity for his baby to have an attack.

“You can’t just ask me to choose like that.” Virgil placed a hand on his heart and feigned hurt. “That’s like asking someone what their favorite dog is.”

“Oh.” Patton played along. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked you that.”

“It’s ok.” Virgil tossed a package of black socks into their basket. “You didn’t know.”

“You know, you never did tell me what foods you like the best.”

“No, I guess not.” He looked at the floor. “I haven’t really had much of an appetite these last couple of months.”

“Well, we can work on that.” Patton grabbed his shoulder. “Did you like any of the casseroles that we’re drowning in?”

“That eggplant thing was pretty good. And I like a couple of the tuna ones.”

“Do you like pasta?” Patton pointed at him.

“Of course.”

“How about desserts? Everyone likes desserts.”

“You’re gonna get mad at this…” Virgil looked at the floor. “But I wasn’t really allowed to have desserts. You know because of calories and sugar and cavities. And bullshit.”

While Patton processed that body blow, Logan showed up and added a container of multi vitamins to their haul. He looked between Patton and Virgil.

“Patton are you alright?” He sounded like he was talking to a bomb.

“I’m ok.”

Logan and Virgil exchanged terrified looks. Logan’s because he had seen Patton mad before and it was haunting, Virgil’s because he had no idea what was going on, but in his line of logic when an adult got mad, he got hit.

“Virgil, sweetie.” Patton rubbed his temples. “I promise I won’t ask you anything else after this. And I won’t get upset with you no matter what you say. But I have to know, are you just not eating out of stress or are there other reasons for this?”

“I just started getting sick whenever I ate.” Virgil wrapped his arms around himself to hold himself together. “I guess it was anxiety. I don’t think there were other reasons.”

“Ok. I’m sorry I had to ask you that.” He sighed. “And like I promised, we won’t talk about it anymore.”

“Did you miss me?” Roman announced dramatically.

“Who are you?” Virgil squinted at him.

Roman made a series of offended squeaks and held one hand against his heart while flailing his casted arm in front of him. Logan looked on, his eyes glimmering and a smiled forming across his face. A soft laugh escaped his mouth.

“Well,” Roman laid the indignation on thick. “I was going to buy you a dress for prom but forget it.”

“I can’t get a date anyway.” Virgil shrugged.

“The boys are probably intimidated by your looks.” Roman continued. “I think you should try asking one of them out.”

“Oh no.” Logan suddenly broke in, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“What? Prom isn’t until high school, if you think I’m too young to date you can say so.”

“It’s not you Virgil.” Logan sighed. “One of our neighbors is here as well.”

“Oh no, who?” Roman looked around frantically.

“Howdy neighbors.” As if on cue the voice of Brian rattled them.

Brian approached and Virgil immediately stepped closer to Patton. Seems he feared the sheer amount of man that approached. Which was odd, Brian’s bear like appearance normally didn’t intimidate people. But of course, Virgil was, well Virgil.

“Salutations.” Roman said blankly.

“Hi Brian.” Patton forced a smile.

“Hi.” Logan didn’t even look at him.

“You three out shopping for more lawn flamingos?” Brian teased.

“No.” Logan said without any cadence.

“We are actually helping our nephew rebuild his wardrobe after a fire.” Roman with his usual tendency to act like he was reciting lines on stage. “You’ve probably heard about our taking him in.”

“I did hear that. Most of us are wondering when we get to meet the new member.” Brian led them into a false sense of security. “You two almost ended up being the last couple to take the plunge and start a family.” He gestured to the slim figure clinging to Patton’s arm. “This must be Virgil.”

“Well,” Patton ruffled the kiddo’s hair. “It’d be kind of weird if he were a stranger.”

“Hi.” Virgil said quietly, as he pulled away from Patton’s side. “Nice to meet you.”

“Virgil was in chess club and on the debate team back in his old school.” Roman announced contently. “And he does advanced reading.”

“Really.” Brian looked impressed. “Maybe he’d like to play Daisy sometime, she’s running out of people who can match her.”

“I am not going to be a part of this, and neither are you.” Logan picked up their basket and put his arm around Virgil. “Let’s finish off the list, they can catch up.”

# # #

“I’m sorry for dragging you away like that.” He explained, now out of earshot. “But I do not want to engage in a one-upping competition. Especially about our children.”

“That’s what that was turning into, huh?” Virgil looked back in that direction.

“Brian is a notorious one-upper. And I can’t stand him.” He sighed. “And if I’m honest I think he’s putting too much pressure on his daughter. I know he means well and he proud of her, but the constant bragging is going to set her standards to impossible levels of up-keep. Overachievers like her are difficult to deal with. Too much input, positive or negative can be catastrophic. Positive reinforcement is great, but the way he does it makes me feel like Daisy is going to associate achievement with affection and burn herself out.”

Virgil looked at him impressed.

“And I’m definitely not putting you through that.” Logan looked away. “I’m not completely dense. I know you weren’t in any of those things because you wanted to be.”

“Were your parents like that too?” Virgil’s voice was soft and hesitant.

“People with Asperger’s are occasionally incredibly intelligent, so yes I was an overachiever when I was in school. My parents enjoyed the vicarious limelight, so yes, they put a good deal of pressure on me.” He clenched his fists. “I was diagnosed when I was eight. Sometimes I still dream about that moment, their reactions. You would have thought somebody died, or that I had murdered someone. I didn’t understand why they were mad at me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright. I’m far better off without their influence in my life.”

“I almost won a spelling bee.” Virgil added. “I got all the way to state.”

“That’s very impressive, you should be proud.” Logan smiled.

“I lost.”

“You still made it to state championships, that’s quite an achievement.”

“Dad grabbed my arm and he jerked me, and he dislocated my elbow. It hurt.”

Logan knelt and hugged him.

“My parents broke and dislocated more bones than I care to recall. And I say this, not because I’m trying to compete. But so that you know I mean it when I say I understand.”

“I know we’re not competing.” Virgil hugged him back. “You win because your parents aren’t in jail.”

“Now, how did you puzzle that out?” Logan pulled back to look at him.

“You said you were done with them, but you didn’t sound very satisfied.”

“You could tell all that from my tone of voice?”

“No, I was eavesdropping on you and Uncle Patton when you told him to stop sending them stuff.” Virgil smiled.

“Patton doesn’t let things go easily.” Logan scoffed. “And he doesn’t forgive them.”

“Do you?”

“Never think you should forgive someone who isn’t sorry.” He said flatly.

“Even family?”

“Familial bonds shouldn’t be a bargaining chip to force someone to tolerate abuse. Nothing justifies that. I thought that my parents had a right to do what they did because of how I am, I’m sure Payton gave you excuses. But those are just hollow manipulative tactics. You don’t owe anything to someone who mistreats you. All they deserve is a swift kick out of your life.”

“Ok.” Virgil seemed relieved to have heard that. “So, is there some sort of contest on who is gonna go the longest without having kids in your neighborhood. Because I think we just proved that not everyone should be a parent.”

“That mostly consists of people asking Patton and me when we’re going to adopt. Or asking Jenna and Julian when they’re going to have kids. Or bothering Lily about when she’s going to settle down and start a family. And I suppose now that Dan and Phil are both out, they’re going to be harassed too.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I don’t understand their investment in all of our lives.”

“Sounds like a fun place. I can’t wait to meet everyone.” Virgil was completely deadpan.

“It’s not as bad as it seems.” He reassured.

Patton and Roman caught up to them, Roman looked ecstatic.

“I told Brian about how I rescued Virgil!” Roman clapped happily. “He’ll never one-up that one.”

“It was pretty cool.” Virgil tossed a package of boxer briefs into the basket. “He broke through the window with his fist, like a superhero or something.”

Patton was silent, he had an annoyed look on his face.

“You ok Uncle Patton?”

“I wouldn’t mind the fact that I once knocked over our charcoal grill and set our yard on fire so much if Brian would stop bringing it up.” Patton said sternly. “Just for that, he’s getting a book of grilling tips for Christmas.”

“Not again.” Logan sighed. “How many would that make? Five?”

“He’s right.” Roman put a hand on Logan’s shoulder. “Get him a book on gardening instead.”

“Just get him a yard gnome and say, ‘I saw this and thought of you’ that’ll bother him.” Virgil suggested from the floor, not looking up from the vitamin bottle he was reading.

“Aww,” Patton said giddily. “He takes after me.”

“By the way Roman,” Logan turned to his roommate. “I noticed that you introduced Virgil as our nephew. As in all three of ours.”

“Well, calculator watch,” Roman began. “My brother is a maniac. Patton’s brother is the worst. So, why not pretend that Padre and I are brothers, that way we can get good siblings. And I babysat Virgil a lot towards the end, and I wrote at least seven essays in character as Patton and no one noticed. So, I think I know him pretty well.”

“You wrote those?” Patton was shocked and confused. “I thought I just sleep wrote them. Like how I kept doing the dishes in my sleep.”

“Well, you did kinda sleep write them.” Roman shrugged timidly. “I just made them legible.”

“Are there any other parts of my college life that are a lie?”

“I bought groceries with my own money and put the money your mother gave me back into her account.” Logan offered. “Which was more than fair because I was living with you rent free.”

“And I bought a bottle of laundry detergent and kept topping off yours so you wouldn’t run out. I went through about twenty bottles doing this.” Roman submitted sheepishly.

“That’s why the soap was always half full? I thought I was losing my mind!”

“And whenever I cooked, I put ground up moths in Payton’s food.” Logan didn’t even look at him.

“Why?!”

“I just really don’t like your brother.”

This entire discussion took place over the sound of Virgil laughing. Once they got to the moth part, he completely lost it and was on the floor in a ball, laughing so hard he was crying.

“That’s…” Virgil wheezed, wiping tears with his sleeve. “That’s just evil. Where did you get the moths?”

“Ok, Logan,” Patton pointed at him. “Your parents are getting a Christmas card this year.”

“You said you’d stop.”

“That was before I found out you fed Payton moths for months. Is that why you always offered to cook?”

“If we’re ok with poisoning Payton,” Roman held up his hand. “Then I used to spit in his water bottle whenever he left it unattended.”

Patton sat down on the floor with his head in his hands. Virgil continued laughing. And Logan and Roman just stood there guiltily. Virgil’s laughter died down and turned to coughing and hiccupping as he tried to get his breath back. At least one of them was having fun. Patton pulled him into his lap like he was a stuffed animal.

“How did we get here?” Patton whimpered.

“I don’t know, but I am thrilled that I was a part of it.” Virgil beamed at him.

“Might I add that he left his baby unattended more than he left his water bottle.” Roman tried to defend himself. “And was next to useless when it came to literally everything that was going on. Some nights he didn’t even come home.”

“In his defense,” Patton buried his face in Virgil’s shoulder. “If I could have just walked away and not have had to see what happened, I would have. Maybe he just couldn’t take it.”

“What about Virgil?” Roman raised an eyebrow. “He left you to raise his baby and tend to your dying mother.”

Patton kissed Virgil on the top on his head and sunk back down.

“I can’t defend that. I just, I understand why he didn’t want to be around then. Mom would have liked to see him though.”

“I’ll be an advocate really quick,” Virgil added, looking at the floor. “At least Payton kept me. He didn’t leave the country and dump me off with an abusive father.”

“That doesn’t matter anymore either.” Patton wrapped his arms around him tightly. “Because we actually want you. And we want you to stay with us.”

“So, I can stay?” Virgil blinked in disbelief.

“We’re suing your father for custody.” Logan said quickly. “And not to get your hopes up, but we have a pretty solid case. I think our chances are good.”

Virgil quietly leaned back against Patton.

“So, are we just gonna have all our big moments in the middle of a store?” He asked blankly.

#sanders sides human au #logicality #parental moxiety #parental anological #famILY #sanders sides fic #roman sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders

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batskulldrag · 4 years

Text

Phoenix by Fallout Boy

Ok, last chapter was labled in text as chapter three, it is in fact chapter four. I only had one brain cell left when I was sorting that. anyway, chapter five. trigger warnings for abuse.

Chapter Five: Light ‘em Up By Fallout Boy

This was it. It was time. D-day, final boss, no not final boss. This was just the beginning. Today was the day they brought Virgil home. This was absolute next level stuff.

Patton frantically washed the dishes from breakfast. And having run out a long time ago was now just washing the same plate over and over.

“Logan! What do we do?” Patton looked over to his husband in desperation. “What if he doesn’t like it here? What if he doesn’t like us? We only met him a couple of times! I want him to like us! What if I’m a bad parent?”

“I’m sure you’re worrying over nothing.” Logan was installing outlet plugs. “You’ll be an excellent dad. And Virgil has already taken to you quite a bit.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course.” Logan looked up at him. Patton could see the terror in his eyes.

Duh! Patton cursed himself. How could he not see how scared Logan was of all this. Logan was the one who everyone accused of not being empathetic. And he was the one who everyone called a robot. Of course, he’d be afraid of parenting. And of course, he wouldn’t say that.

“Hon,” Patton knelt to eye level with Logan. “I know you’re gonna be a fantastic dad. You already have been. Every time I started freaking out you grounded me back to reality. And not just this past week with Virgil either. Always. And you listened to the doctor without going all out of sorts, you got Virgil to talk about himself and you knew when we were overwhelming him.”

Logan sighed and stared at the outlet. All that energy now inaccessible just because of a piece of plastic. Stopped up. Ineffective. No good.

“I-” Logan started and was instantly cut off.

“You’re not bad at emotions.” Patton embraced him. “You’re better at them than anyone I know. The Logan right here is the best Logan there is. And I would know. I married him, on purpose.”

“I love you.” Logan sighed, tensely hugging Patton back. “I want you to know that.”

“I know. I’ve always known. And I love you too. With all my heart.”

“I never had to wonder that.”

“And I never once had to wonder if you loved me.”

Logan pulled away and smiled.

“Well, then.” He rubbed his neck nervously. “Let’s go get our son.”

“That sounds nice.” Patton sighed. “Our son.”

# # #

“You ok now sweetie?” Patton asked dabbing Virgil’s mouth with a wetted down paper towel. “Do you need to throw up again?”

Both of them were sitting on the floor of Virgil’s hospital room. Virgil was doubled over holding his stomach and breathing heavily. The transition was not helping his anxiety.

“No, I think I’m empty now.” He said shakily, shooting Patton a suspicious glance. “Let’s just go.”

Patton stood up and pulled Virgil off the floor. He guided him to the bed and sat him down carefully.

“We brought you these.” Patton handed him a grocery bag. “One of our friends gave us some old clothes that might fit you. Since, well you know, the fire.”

Virgil fell backwards onto the bed and groaned.

“What is it? Are you gonna throw up again?” Patton darted over to him.

“I’m not gonna be able to dress myself for another couple of days.” He hissed, completely red. “Not without help. I didn’t think of that.”

“I guess this is a pretty bad week for you.” Patton said blankly, but the awkwardness wasn’t lost on him.

# # #

Virgil limped into the lobby with one crutch to support him and Patton hovering over him like a linebacker to stabilize him if anything happened. Patton isn’t exactly doctor supported medical equipment, but if you can get one it helps. Virgil’s free hand occasionally fluttered up to check on a bulge in his hoodie, where he had stashed the bear. He was more or less constantly making sure it was still zipped up in there.

Logan and Roman stood anxiously in the lobby with Virgil’s medication in hand. The four met in silence and turned towards the door. Everything was working out without a hitch. But the hitch was waiting for them outside.

A title wave of reporters came crashing down on them and they were consumed by camera flashes while being beaten with microphones, tape recorders and video cameras. Working like predators the press worked between the four of them and forced them apart. Patton looked frantically for Virgil, thinking that the reporters must have trampled him like Black Friday shoppers. He saw Logan, who was also on the brink of panic. He caught a glimpse of Roman, who was shoving people back like a bouncer. And lastly, he saw Virgil, looking panicked as one reported bounced around him like a birthday clown on crack.

He started wading towards him to get rid of the goon when he saw said goon knock Virgil’s crutch out of his hand. Virgil stumbled back and fell to the ground, and the bear fell out of his jacket. The goon stepped back a bit while Virgil started having a panic attack. Most of the press backed off when they saw him, but some of them got even closer. Oh, hell no. They would not hurt his baby.

“EVERYBODY BACK OFF!!!” Patton screamed in a voice that would defeat Goliath.

They all looked to him, utterly stunned.

“I AM GOING TO COUNT TO THREE AND THEN I AM CALLING THE POLICE! ANYONE STILL HERE WHEN I GET TO THREE IS GETTING ARRESTED! GOT THAT!? ONE!... TWO...”

They all scattered as professionally as they could.

“AND IF I SEE ANY OF THIS ON THE NEWS TONIGHT EVERY STATION IS GETTING SLAPPED WITH A LAWSUITE!” He shouted after them.

He rushed over to Virgil, who was still on the concrete, Logan and Roman at his side.

“It’s ok sweetie.” Patton soothed. “They’re gone now. It’s ok.”

“Did that freak hurt you in any way?” Roman asked softly.

“N-No.” Virgil wheezed. “I-I- I’m o-o-kay.”

“Virgil,” Logan said gently, “This is going to sound strange, but I want you to list all the prime numbers you can.”

“W-why?” Virgil gasped, face wet with tears and going very pale.

“Just trust me.” Logan squeezed his shoulder. “Can you do that?”

“O-k-k-ay.” He coughed. “T-two, three, f-ive, se-seven, eleven, thirt-thirteen.” His tone became steadier. “Seventeen… nineteen, twenty-three,” He took a deep breath. “twenty-nine.” He stopped abruptly. “That-that worked!” He smiled slightly. “What kind of black magic was that?”

“It’s just left brain/right brain science.” Logan explained. “Fear and anxiety are controlled by the right brain, so those feelings can be reduced by doing left brain activities.”

“Cool.” Virgil whispered. “I’ll have to remember that one.”

Patton stood up and pulled Virgil to his feet, foot.

“Logan knows all kinds of things.” He beamed. “He’s the smart one.”

“Say padre,” Roman said picking Virgil’s crutch up off the ground. “I haven’t heard your Zeus voice since senior prom. Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.” He gently stroked Virgil’s hair. “I just got upset when that guy knocked Virgil over.”

“Well, we shouldn’t have to worry about any of them again.” Logan smiled, handing the stuffed animal back to Virgil, who immediately socked it away back into his hoodie.

“Yeah, I about peed myself and you weren’t even mad at me.” Virgil added. “That was some intense stuff, Uncle Patton.”

Patton felt the excitement tinglies ripple through him. He was Uncle Patton! And Virgil called him it! What a rollercoaster of a day.

“You should have seen him at prom.” Roman added teasingly before lapsing into a tense voice. “Have any of you ever thought about how it feels to be treated like dirt just because you think differently?! Have you!? Have you ever considered that?! No, and why should you?! You don’t actually think at all! You want to talk about incapable of empathy? How about a room full of monsters who torture somebody and laugh while they are screaming for help!?! Have you ever considered how horrible it is to be the outlier who has the misfortune to cross your socio-paths? No! of course not! You only see things from your point of view! And everyone else must be broken! Well fuck every last one of you! And if you don’t all descend to hell when everything is over then I’m going to petition god to send you there himself!” Roman finished. “It was glorious.”

“I didn’t say the “f-word” did I?” Patton slumped his shoulders.

“You don’t remember?” Roman laughed. “I almost made that my yearbook quote. It was a soliloquy to rival ‘to be or not to be,’ someone put it on a poster in the library.”

“I seriously considered making it my valedictorian speech.” Logan added. “And if I had been in a better state of mind during your speech, I would have gotten down on one knee and proposed to you then and there.”

Patton blushed and looked at the ground.

“We should go.” He whispered.

“I call bullshit!” Virgil objected. “No way Uncle Patton said that.”

“We’ll tell you all about it on the ride home.” Roman said gleefully.

“No, we won’t.” Patton mumbled.

“Let’s be on our way.” Roman ignored him. “I’ll drive.”

Roman did tell the story on the ride home. And no matter how many times Patton tried to change the subject, Roman went back to his story unfazed.

“And so, we finally arrived, an hour late and very tired.” Roman continued his retelling. “En route I stepped in a puddle that was about knee deep and ruined my pants.”

“Virgil, what’s your favorite color?” Patton interrupted.

“Purple.” He answered, gazing into the front seat. “Then what happened?”

“Well, we missed the photographer because we were late. Which worked out, because we weren’t exactly looking our best. During the slow dance my date was asked by a girl to dance, and he danced with her the entire night. He later told me it was because he wasn’t out yet. But he went as my date to prom, not my friend, my date. And everyone knew.”

“What a bitch.” Virgil agreed. “Did you get back at him?”

“Later.” Roman smiled. “Now Logan was actually not out yet, so he and Patton did just go as friends, as far as everyone else knew. Neither of them really danced, they just kind of hung out.”

“And some idiots crept up behind us and emptied the entire punch bowl over our heads.” Logan added.

“Why?”

“They didn’t like me.” Logan shrugged. “And the feeling was mutual.”

“Virge, do you have a girlfriend?” Patton tried again.

“No. Then what happened?”

This kid liked gossip.

“Well the idiots harassed Logan for a longer while, then Patton had his glorious monologue. And the shame that filled the room was tangible. A few girls ran out crying. And one dude just left.”

“How come the teachers didn’t step in for any of this?” Virgil asked.

“Virgil, you’re in school, right?” Roman countered.

“I mean, it’s summer but yeah.”

“Do your teachers do much to stop harassment?”

“That answers that question,” Virgil looked out the window. “Then what happened?”

“Patton and Logan went outside. Leaving everyone to sit in their guilt.”

“Our first kiss.” Patton mumbled dreamily. Something good came from all that.

“And I was elected prom queen.” Roman finished.

“Don’t you mean king?” Virgil asked, looking back at Roman. “I mean sounds like you’re a dude and that you were a dude then too.”

“Yes, but they thought it would be a great joke to vote for me as queen. You know because gay. But since they all voted for me, I won.”

“What did you do?” Virgil looked mortified at the idea.

“I marched myself up to that stage, blowing kisses to everyone. And when I got up there, I kissed the prom king right on the lips. It was one of those romantic kisses where you dip the other one back. Then I hammed it up like it was the Oscars. I gave a speech about how proud I was of their acceptance and how humbled I was by their kindness. And how they were so beautiful that they all deserved crowns. Then, I danced out while singing ‘I’m still standing’ by Elton John.”

“No!” Virgil objected eagerly.

“I did.”

“Did he?” Virgil beamed at Patton.

“He did, everyone was talking about it when we got back to school.” Patton answered. “That and me yelling at everyone.”

“I think you did the right thing.” Virgil said, turning back to the window. “I don’t get why you’re embarrassed; all you did was call them out for being dicks.”

“There are a lot of feelings about that night.” Patton looked away. “It’s complicated.”

“No, it’s not.” Logan looked back at him. “What’s complicated?”

“I don’t wanna have this talk in front of Virgil, ok hon?”

“Are you still upset about…”

“Yes. Please. Not now.” Patton cut him off.

“Ok. We will discuss it later.” Logan held up his hands in a peace-making gesture.

Virgil looked back and forth between them then went back to the window.

“Virgil,” Logan changed the subject. “I forgot to ask what grade you’re in now.”

“I- eighth grade.” He said quickly. “Just like all the other kids my age.”

“So, you’re starting high school in the fall?” Logan continued.

“Yes?” Virgil squeaked, now turning red.

“No one wants to talk about school in May.” Roman interrupted, sounding flustered. “He just got out a couple of weeks ago, don’t remind him he needs to go back.” Roman changed the subject. “Tell us more about the inferno, I may want to do a showing of it at the college. Or adapt a version of it. I think it would be nifty to set it during the civil war.”

“It takes place in hell,” Virgil interrupted. “The time period doesn’t really matter.”

“You, my dear who’s who of the damned, have a lot to learn about theater.”

Logan gave them the footnotes of the inferno until they arrived home.

“Right, first things first.” Patton said, helping Virgil out of the car. “It’s lunch time. I hope you’re hungry kiddo. People have been sending us food like we were planning on bringing home an entire orphanage.”

“Ok.” Virgil responded blankly.

“And once you’re settled in, we’ll introduce to the miracle that is the life work of Walt Disney.” Roman added with his usual flare.

After both lunch and a tour of the house Virgil sat on the couch curled up in a little ball and holding his stomach. Oddly enough, he hadn’t even eaten that much. He kind of picked a bit at some solid food and ate a bowl of soup. Nothing that would normally upset someone’s stomach. Patton sat down next to him and rubbed his back gently. Virgil loosened up and tensed again.

“Is your belly giving you trouble again kiddo?” Patton asked softly.

“No, I’m ok.” Virgil was quick to answer. “I just ate too fast I guess.”

“Ok then.” Patton continued to pet him.

Logan walked over and sat down on Patton’s other side. They both shared a parental look.

“As promised.” Roman strutted in holding a DVD case. “Glorious entertainment. And fair warning, I will sing along with every musical interlude.”

“How do you manage to remember every Disney song in existence, yet still forget your keys at least twice a week?” Logan teased.

“Some memories are more important than others.” Roman sat down dramatically.

“Is that why you’re so good at breaking windows?” Virgil said suddenly. “Lots of practice?”

They all looked at him stunned, and he mirrored their expressions exactly. Maybe even better. Virgil’s eyes darted back and forth, never settling on any one of them for too long. His breathing got visibly quicker and he tried to shrink into himself.

Instinctively Patton pulled the boy closer and held him as if he were using his own body as a shield. Virgil sank into him, tense enough to turn into a diamond.

“Well, then it’s a good thing I forgot my keys all those times.” Roman broke the tension and laughed. “Things work out!”

“You’re not mad?” Virgil’s voice was muffled by Patton’s hoodie.

“No, it was a brilliantly timed joke.”

“And the implications that Roman would have to damage property to get into his own house were amusing.” Logan added, reaching over to pet Virgil as well.

Virgil jerked back away from Patton and gagged a few times. He clamped his hands over his mouth and slowly took them away. He paused for a solid minute, and they could see him mouthing out numbers. He stopped and looked at the three of them. Then silently leaned back onto Patton’s shoulder.

“OK.” He said still sounding stunned. “Let’s just watch the movie.”

Roman did indeed sing along the entire time, and Virgil seemed to enjoy both the movie and Roman’s one man show. Virgil got all quiet during Sally’s song and Patton could have sworn that he heard him sniffle a few times. Naturally, he gently ran a hand through the younger man’s hair to console him.

During Oogie Boogie’s song Roman jumped up to dance with it, and gingerly pulled Virgil up to join him. Patton and Logan stared in shock as the scene unfolded. There was their son, happily being spun and dipped as Roman did the motions along with the soundtrack. Roman did a great job making sure to keep weight off Virgil’s cast, and when the song ended, gently set him back in his place.

��Remind me to teach you how to dance when your foot heals.” Roman said joyously.

“But don’t feet heel all the time?” Patton added.

Virgil smiled; Logan groaned. And they went back to the movie. Virgil became intensely interested when Sally came in to rescue Santa. He leaned forwards, almost off the couch and chewed his bandages eagerly. Patton saw him mouthing out the words ‘come on, come on’. Then it happened, Oogie Boogie caught on to the rouse.

“No!” Virgil yelped, this time falling off the couch.

Virgil sat on the floor looking more embarrassed than hurt. His face slowly shaded itself in a pink glow as he gaped up at them mortified. He cleared his throat and stared at the floor.

“I…” He started but gave up.

“She’s gonna be ok.” Patton ruffled his hair. “Jack’s gonna rescue them.”

“He’d better, he started this whole mess.” Virgil sniped.

“See, it isn’t just me!” Logan suddenly shouted. “He sees it too!”

“Two of them! Now there’s two!” Roman threw his hands in the air.

“Santa wouldn’t be in this mess if Jack hadn’t kidnapped him and stole his holiday!” Logan protested.

“They do this a lot.” Patton smiled down at Virgil.

“He told those three not to involve the boogie man!”

“Which wouldn’t have even been an option if he hadn’t kidnapped Santa in the first place.”

“And he really shouldn’t have trusted those three morons.” Virgil added. “I think we can all agree to that.”

“Yay, common ground!” Patton interrupted. “Let’s just finish the movie.”

“Patton,” Roman stated. “You’re the tie breaker, what do you think?”

“I don’t care who’s fault it is! I just want everyone to get along!”

Virgil disinterestedly slid his upper body into Patton’s lap.

“Well, you’re definitely a parent.” Roman sighed. “We’ll stop.”

They finished the movie in silence. As the credits rolled Roman slid off the couch to retrieve another movie from the collection. That brought up a new crop of problems.

Where to find a Disney movie without abusive parents? He analyzed the collection slowly and picked out all the contenders. Lilo and Stich, perfect. Aladdin? Can’t have abusive parents if you’re an orphan. Mulan, that works. He drummed his finger on Beauty and the Beast, no. better not.

He pulled out his first three options and strolled back to the others. This was a good enough start.

“Now for our viewing pleasure, we have options.” He declared. “First contender…”

He was cut off by a knock on the door.

“Shoot me.” He finished.

“I’ll get it.” Patton offered. “It might be Thomas doing another inspection, or here to see Virgil.”

Virgil slid his head off Patton’s lap and draped himself onto the couch instead.

“Virgil, don’t sit on the floor.” Logan said stiffly.

“Let’s see what news stations want to make us mad while he’s gone.” Roman said chipperly, grabbing the remote.

“It’s just gonna be an artist rendering of me flat on my ass sobbing like a two-year-old.” Virgil hissed, pulling himself onto the couch.

Patton glared through the peephole. Barbra had brought them a pie as an excuse to see if this newcomer was weird. Wishing for a garage that they could park in so no one could tell if they were home or not, Patton opened the door.

“Heyya,” He greeted cheerfully. “What brings you to our neck of the ‘hoods?”

“Well, I saw you arrive this afternoon with a guest.” She laid it on thick. “So, I thought I’d bring over a pie. Sort of as a welcome to the neighborhood gift.”

She was moving from side and standing on her toes trying to see past him. Patton sighed, he wanted to like her, but she was so insinuating. And one time he saw her in a restaurant, and she was rude to the waiter. If you want to be mean to minimum wage employees, then you shouldn’t get to benefit off them.

“That’s so sweet.” Patton continued he didn’t have the heart to be mean to her. “It looks… unique!”

“It’s a new recipe,” Oh no, now she was into it. “It’s sugar free, gluten free, vegan and non-GMO.”

“Wow. What flavor?”

“It’s Brussel sprout pie. You wouldn’t believe how many plants are made with those mutated poisons.”

Ok, well that makes it a casserole. And not a pie.

“Thank you so much.” Patton took the pie.

She didn’t go away. He looked from side to side. He looked at her, she looked at him. Was she really going to do this?

“Is it true about your brother?” She finally asked, she looked annoyed. Did she just expect him to tell her?

“Which part?”

“That he tried to murder his son! Is there any other part?”

“I don’t know about any murder.” Patton said slowly. “But my nephew is staying with us for a while, while everything gets sorted out.”

“Ok, but just be careful, we don’t know who started that fire, it might have been the boy. You know what teenagers are like.”

“Thanks for being on the lookout.” He smiled. “Now if you don’t mind, I need to be going.”

She was about to say something else, but he stepped back quickly and closed the door. He walked past the other three and straight into the kitchen. He then dumped the casserole into the garbage disposal and disintegrated it. Pleased, he strolled back into the living room.

“It was Barbra.” He explained, sitting back on the couch. “She brought us a thing.”

“I see, did you give it a merciful death?”

“Yep.”

“What did I miss?” Virgil looked up at them, hanging upside down on the couch.

“One of our neighbors is quite annoying and nosey. And opinionated.” Roman explained. “We put up with it at first, but then she told us she wished Logan was dead.”

“That’s a blatant lie.” Logan objected.

“It is not, it’s a different point of view.”

“She told you she wanted Uncle Logan dead?” Virgil squeaked, scrambling back to normal sitting position. “Why?”

“She didn’t say that.” Patton rolled his eyes. “She just adamantly believes that vaccines cause autism.”

“And can’t use google.” Virgil agreed. “What’s this got to do with Uncle Logan?”

“I have Asperger’s syndrome, which puts me on the autistic spectrum.” Logan explained. “Barbra did not tell me she wanted me dead.”

“Let’s pretend that she’s right though,” Roman interrupted. “She’s not, but if she was that would mean that she hates autistic people so much that she would rather have people die of curable illnesses than be that way. In conclusion, she wishes Logan was dead.”

“She doesn’t like Logan though; she acts weird around him.” Patton wrapped himself around Logan like a blanket. “And if you have a problem with my soul mate then you have a problem with me.”

“I hate her already.” Virgil nodded. “Are all your neighbors like that?”

“No, everyone else is cool.” Patton sighed contentedly. “You’ll probably meet them later. But we’ll wait until you’re feeling better.”

“We also need to get you a new wardrobe.” Roman slapped him on the shoulder. “Joan’s donations, while generous, can only do so much for you.”

“And you need underwear, we’re not getting that used.” Patton added.

Virgil turned bright red in response and just gawked at him in utter shame.

“Don’t look like that.” Patton teased. “We all have undies on. It’d be embarrassing if you didn’t.”

Virgil silently cocooned himself into his hoodie.

“What?” Patton, genuinely confused, asked.

“Just stop.” Logan put a hand on his shoulder.

“Right,” Roman added. “We’re watching Lilo and Stich. Virgil needs to understand what we mean when we call Thomas Cobra Bubbles.”

#logan sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #logan x patton #logicallity #parental anological #parental moxiety #platonic lamp #famILY #sanders sides fic

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batskulldrag · 4 years

Text

Phoenix by Fallout Boy

Chapter Ten: Ready Aim Fire by Imagine Dragons

once more I will state that I have no OC’. s everyone is either a youtuber or a character from 2017′s dream daddy. I will ask that you check out Jenna Marbles’ video ‘making corn on the cob but instead of the corn bone it’s a hotdog’ it’s not nessarry, but it is funny.

Patton squeezed Logan’s hand as he looked around the room. It was nice, it looked like every kid’s dream room. But the idea of being evaluated was crushing the air out of his lungs. Granted, E. S. had suggested a psych evaluation for them to boost their chances in court, and he did want some parenting advice. So, there they were in Picani’s office, waiting.

He stole a glance at Logan. His husband’s once stoic expression now a thin veil to mask resentment. Patton could almost see every memory of every doctor he was dragged to so his parents could cure him. Logan squeezed the arm rest until his knuckles were white and the bones threatened to pop out.

“It’s ok.” Patton rubbed his shoulder gently. “This time is going to be different. No one wants to cure you. We’re just gonna talk to him. There’s nothing wrong with you. Remember that.”

Logan silently slid his arm around Patton and held him close. Patton rested his head on Logan’s shoulder and listened to his heartbeat. It was slowing down and his own heart started mimicking the calmer rhythm.

The door opened and a cheerful man with curly blond hair and a tan cardigan danced in vocalizing the Loony Toon’s theme song. Ok, so Picani was definitely not a stuffed shirt. This would be nice.

“So, you’re Patton and Logan.” Emile smiled. “We met a few times before.”

“Virgil’s doing a lot better.” Patton chirped. “They’re taking the bandages off soon.”

“That’s good. Has he adjusted any since last week?”

“A little. He’s not as skittish.” Patton smiled. “I’ve been taking him to work with me since I had to go back to the library.”

“That should be a good way to keep his mind off things.” Emile pondered. “Maybe they’ll let him volunteer there. It’s good to keep busy.”

“Today, he read to the kids.” Logan added. “I think some interaction with people closer to his peer group is doing him good.”

“That is awesome news.” Emile smiled and put his hands together. “But now I think it’s time to talk about you two. ‘Sup?’”

“Our lawyer said that it would help us if we had psychological evaluations.” Logan responded. “We all suspect that Payton might try to use certain things against us.”

“Such as…” Emile led.

“For starters I have Asperger’s syndrome. One might argue that it would make me unfit to raise a child.”

“The usual ‘they can’t feel empathy’ song and dance?”

“No, there hasn’t been any singing.”

“It’s a metaphor sweetie.” Patton rubbed his hand.

“Oh.” Logan looked away. “Right.”

“So, where on the spectrum are you?” Emile asked. “You seem really high functioning.”

“I am high functioning. Mainly, I can’t read emotions, I don’t understand metaphors or sarcasm, flashing lights give me migraines, I have a noise sensitivity and I get intensely nervous around people. And I don’t like most sweet foods. They hurt my mouth.”

“How about routines?” Emile continued.

“I have routines, but I don’t impose them on other people. I like to stick to a schedule; to do things in a certain order. But I don’t have an episode if the schedule is disrupted.”

“What normally triggers one?”

“Usually things build up. My most recent episode was a two weeks ago when Roman and I were trying to build a futon without instructions.”

“Why without instructions?”

“They were lost long ago. It was maddening.”

“That.” Emile pointed at them. “Would drive anyone crazy. So, I don’t really see any reason why you can’t adopt Virgil with Patton. Asperger’s isn’t exactly the life ruining hinderance that everyone thinks it is.”

Patton nuzzled up to Logan.

“See. It’s fine.”

Emile smiled at them.

“It’s nice to see a happy couple in here.” He sighed. “I do a lot of couple’s therapy.”

“Logan and I are happy.” Patton confirmed. “We’re almost to out ten-year anniversary.”

“That’s quite the milestone. How’d you two meet?” he leaned forward.

“I had to go to him for tutoring, and we just clicked. Logan proposed while we were in college and we’ve been inseparable ever since.”

“We were more or less inseparable before that.” Logan interjected. “I just decided to make it official.”

“You’re a Garnet.” Emile clasped his hands to his heart.

“Like from Steven Universe?” Patton asked excitedly.

“Exactly, you two have found your balance and have a solid relationship.”

“That is fair.” Logan looked up. “Most of our arguments did consist of the fact that I can be stoic, and Patton can be over passionate. Exactly like Ruby and Sapphire.”

“That is awesome.” Emile smiled. “And having a stable marriage is usually important if you want to adopt.”

Patton squeezed Logan’s hand and beamed up at him from his shoulder. Logan returned a smile.

“So, what other things are on your minds?” Emile pointed his folded hands at them. “We’re in the judgement free zone here.”

“Well,” Patton rubbed his arm and looked at Logan. “I was on antidepressants for a while after my mom died. And I kind of still am on the medication. I was really out of it.”

“How old were you when she passed away?”

“I had to be about nineteen or twenty.”

“What happened to her?” He asked gently.

“She had ALS.” Patton looked at the floor to hide his tears, why was he still crying after all these years? “She lasted eight months.”

Eight months? That was it? He could have sworn that it was longer.

“I’m so sorry to hear that.” He handed them a box of tissues.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know I still did this.” Patton dabbed his eyes. “It’s been twelve years.”

“If they put you on antidepressants that means that it must have hit you pretty hard. Watching family die, especially from something that awful can really take its toll. There’s nothing wrong with how you feel, or how long you feel it. And moms are important, losing one is a blow no matter how old they are.”

“It hit me really hard.” Patton pressed himself into Logan, who started petting his hair. “I was sleepwalking, one night I woke up in the parking lot of the hospital because I thought I was taking mom to the doctor. I used to do the dishes in my sleep.”

“Was it just you, taking care of her?” Emile squinted. “What about your brother?”

“Payton was in college too. He didn’t want anything to do with it.” Logan answered, still petting Patton.

“I told you I get why he didn’t want to be there.”

“Don’t make excuses for him, you know that’s not why he avoided the house.”

“Hey, don’t unfuse over this.” Emile offered hesitantly.

“Logan and Roman helped a lot during all that. With Mom and Virgil.”

“Virgil was with you?”

“He was just a baby. Mom was diagnosed a few months before his first birthday.”

“And Payton left him with you? Just like that? Just like Pink leaving Spinel in the garden?”

“If Payton was a good father, we wouldn’t be here.” Patton pulled out another tissue. “I don’t wanna talk about my brother.”

“Alright, we’ll just zap those thoughts with the memory eraser.” Emile pretended to zap himself with a ray gun. “Go on with your story.”

“Well, I still walked in my sleep even after mom died. And I lost my appetite and I lost interest in my job and all my classes. It was like I was dead. I went numb.”

“Do you know why?”

“I…” Patton clenched his fists against his knees. “I was relieved when she died, and I couldn’t handle feeling like that. Am I a terrible person?”

“That’s a normal reaction.” Emile said plainly. He said it as if it were a fact that he just knew. Like there was no doubt about its validity.

“What?” Patton looked up at him reeling from the whiplash that comment gave him.

“Your mother, someone you loved died in front of you. And you already said that it took a long time. Anyone would be relieved for that to be over. Like when they bubbled the cluster, they were relieved that the shards weren’t suffering anymore. And that’s normal. That, and the stress it was putting on you was over, and I know you think that sounds awful but it’s natural to be relieved. It doesn’t make you a bad person.”

“No?”

“No.”

Patton nestled closer to Logan. Logan hid it well, but Patton knew that he had just been vindicated and was thrilled. Patton accepted defeat contentedly and with guilt free relief.

“Logan was there the whole time.” Patton sighed. “All through it. He even got me to go to therapy.”

“Was Logan living with you at the time?” Emile asked. “There’s nothing wrong with that, Ruby and Sapphire were fused for a few thousand years before they got married. I was just wondering if he moved in to help with your mom.”

“My parents threw me out of the house after they found out I was gay.” Logan said blankly, but he was squeezing the couch arm again. His bones turned back up to say hello. “After they.” He sighed. “After they beat me severely.”

“Oh.” Emile said sadly. “I’m so sorry. Were they always like that?”

“The statistics of autistic children who are abused by their parents would break you.” Logan looked up at the ceiling.

“Yes then?”

“Yes.”

“Did you ever get help after you left your parents?”

“Yes, I’ve worked through my issues with them. And I don’t plan on letting them back into my life any time soon.”

“That’s fair.” Emile nodded. “They sound like a toxic influence.”

“I will consider forgiving them if they apologize.” Logan still looked at the ceiling. “And on no other conditions do I hold them any loyalty.”

“Well, last thing you need is your own abusive parents showing up when you’re trying to adopt.” Emile agreed. “And you shouldn’t forgive people who are going to continue to be a bad influence on your life.”

“I thought there was going to be more, I don’t know,” Logan looked back down. “More appeals for us to change our ways. Some form of judgement or a quote unquote cure.”

“Nah, you guys are good.” Emile smiled. “You can keep up therapy if you just wanna talk, but I don’t really have anything new to tell you.”

“This is it?” Logan gestured vaguely at the room.

“You’ve been on that couch before, haven’t you?”

“My parents wanted a cure. I’ve seen psychologists, psychiatrists, doctors, holistic physicians, herb peddlers, and a neurosurgeon.”

“Wow,” Emile nodded. “That is one expensive wild goose chase. How do you feel about your Asperger’s now?”

“It’s a part of who I am. It took me a long time to realize it wasn’t a horrible disease. And my parents dragging me to a new doctor every week didn’t help. They didn’t help.”

Patton put his arms around him and just hung there silently.

“Is any of this going to keep us from getting custody of Virgil?” Logan sighed.

“Well, your parents being abusive could bring up a ‘cycle of abuse’ argument, but I don’t think it’ll go anywhere. Aside from that, Asperger’s and situational depression shouldn’t stop you. Neither of you are violent or incapable of taking care of yourselves or a child. And you’ve already done a great job with Virgil so far. You’re made of love, and it’s stronger than him.”

“I wanna introduce you to our roommate sometime.” Patton said happily. “I think you’d be friends.”

# # #

The day of the barbeque rolled around and Patton, Logan and Roman were eagerly getting ready.

“Let’s see him one-up this.” Roman said sternly, holding up a watermelon sculpture.

The rind had been picked clean and gently sculpted into a frog with melon balls filling up his body and coming out of his mouth. Impressive was an understatement.

“Right.” Logan sighed. “Remember what I said about competing with Brian. Leave Virgil out of it. He’s had enough pressure in his life as it is.”

“I would never do anything to hurt our emo nightmare.” Roman was dead serious. “From now on Brian has to step to me. And anyone who wants our emo has to step to me as well.”

“And me.” Patton clenched his fist.

“We’re doing Lord of The Rings now?” Logan was not amused. “And me.”

With that said a loud thud came from upstairs. All three of them had the same thought and ran upstairs. Reaching the door first, Logan knocked. But Patton had different ideas and burst into the room like a firefighter. Virgil was pulling himself off the floor with his jeans tangled up around his ankles and his cast shoved through one of the holes in the knee. The shock of Patton and Co’s sudden arrival knocked him back down.

“Can I help you?” Virgil asked flatly, pulling his t-shirt down over his boxers.

“Sorry,” Patton backed out of the room quickly. “We heard you fall and wanted to make sure you were ok.”

“I’m ok. My stupid cast got stuck is all.”

“Do you need help?”

“Nope, I’m good.”

“Ok, we’re ready as soon as you are.”

“Cool, just let me get my pants on.”

“Ok.” Patton closed the door and turned to the other two. “Am I a helicopter parent?”

“No, I don’t think so.” Logan squinted as he thought. “Just be sure of boundaries. Don’t make a habit of bursting into his room. That is his space, and we want him to know we won’t violate it.”

“And I want you to know that it isn’t soundproof.” Virgil opened the door and walked out, smiling at his own joke.

# # #

Patton had his arm around Virgil the entire walk over. Admittedly, Virgil was happy both for the attention and the extra help walking. He wasn’t quite used to this walking cast, and he was still upset that he couldn’t keep the painted one. Sure, it smelled like an old band aid that crawled out of a sewer full of dead possums, but it was still cool on the outside. Maybe they could paint this one.

Patton led him over to the food table and gingerly set down a tray of peanut blossoms. He pulled two off the plate with a flourish, handed one to Virgil and kept the other.

“Clinkies.” He beamed, holding his cookie to Virgil’s.

“Clinkies.” Virgil agreed, tapping the cookies together and shoving his entire cookie in his mouth.

Roman set his melon frog down on the table and whispered to it.

“Ok melon frog, this is what you trained for. This is your time. You don’t be scared. I trained you better than that. I love you, melon frog.”

“You two need a moment alone?” Virgil smiled.

“No.” Roman turned quickly, holding his forearm to his forehead. “it’s better this way. Long goodbyes would only make me weep.”

“Dude, extra is a word they made up just so they could describe you.”

“It is.” Roman ruffled his hair. Were they all just going to do that from now on?

“Jenna!” Patton yipped, holding out his arms.

A short woman with blond hair that showed dark brown at the roots ran over and hugged him. Two Italian grey hounds were at her heels keeping up surprisingly well. Virgil lost all interest in people and sat down to play with the dogs. They immediately started licking him and climbing him for food.

“Where were you, beech?” Jenna asked. “I haven’t seen you in forever.”

“Family stuff.” Patton smiled and tiled his head towards Virgil. He turned his attention. “Virgil, this is our friend Jenna.”

“Hi, I love your dogs.” Virgil chirped, strangely comforted by the mini dogs who were stomping the hell out of his every lower extremity.

In response the grey dog started whining as if he were being tortured.

“I didn’t do anything!” Virgil panicked.

“Kermit, shut up.” Jenna scolded her dog, “He just does that.” She dismissed.

Patton looked around with a look of concerned horror.

“No Marble?” He said fearfully.

“What? Beech am I mourning?” Jenna pointed to herself. “No, Marble is inside. He didn’t want to come out and mingle.”

“What’s this one’s name?” Virgil asked, giving the tan doggo vigorous scratches as she wagged her tail at a mile a minute.

“That one’s Peach-y girl.” Jenna baby talked at the dog, who somehow wagged her tail faster.

Peach bolted off his lap, ran in a wide, happy circle and trampled back onto him.

“So, how do you like the neighborhood so far?” Jenna asked.

“It’s nice.” Virgil moved his head to keep Peach from licking the inside of his mouth. “I haven’t met too many people though.”

“Well.” She gestured at the crowded yard. “That’s gonna change.”

Jenna darted off to greet more guests and the dogs followed her. Darn. Virgil looked around tensely. There were a lot of people. Did they know? Were they going to bring it up? Were they going to ask? Were they going to take sides? Whose side would they be on?

Slowly it became reality that he couldn’t just sit here until someone needed a prop and then just go back to his seat. What was he supposed to do? How did people act at things like this? He’d never been to anything so casual. Was he supposed to play with the other kids? Talk to the adults? Eat? Was he supposed to eat? Was it time to eat? Where were the dogs? Where was Patton? Where was he?

“Ok kiddo,” Patton, it was really Patton, he was back. “Jenna and Julian are vegans, so there’s a lot of vegetables. But they’re good. Both of them are awesome cooks.”

Patton set a paper plate full of food on his lap and sat down next to him.

“She didn’t say she was a vegan while I was talking to her.” Virgil looked for Jenna in the crowd.

“They’re not preachy about it.”

“Cool.”

“And plenty of other people brought meat.”

Virgil took a bite of what he thought was pulled pork and spit it out immediately.

“Is this?” He rubbed the seasoning off and saw that it was yellow. “This is a banana peel!”

“What?” Patton took a taste and grimaced. “That is! Barbra must have brought it.”

“Is she a raccoon?”

“Wait here.” Patton stood up and walked over to the ‘pulled pork’ dish.

He looked around and quickly set the dish on the grass. He made a few beckoning gestures and a mastiff ran at him and started inhaling the banana abomination. He pet the bear sized creature contentedly and strolled back to their spot.

Having run out of food, Bear Dog lumbered over to them. Virgil tried to react in time but before he could, Bear Dog had his entire plate in its mouth. Plate and all, it ate everything.

“Countess, no.” Patton ordered. “That wasn’t for you!”

Countess smacked her lips and started licking Virgil’s face. He silently accepted that he would die by dog smothering and decided that was indeed how he wanted to go.

“No.” Logan showed up out of nowhere and tried to nervously shoo the dog away. “No, shoo. Get away from him.”

“I’m ok Uncle Logan.” Virgil wrapped his arms around the dog’s neck.

Logan stared anxiously. His every muscle was tensed at the dog’s presence.

So, Uncle Logan is afraid of dogs. I wonder why.

“OK friend.” Virgil ruffled the dog’s fur. “Go play with someone else! Go play!”

Countess zoomed away, no doubt measuring on the Richter scale. She would cause tidal waves in her wake. Tidal waves of drool.

“I’ll get you a new plate.” Patton pushed himself off the ground. He paused and suddenly lit up. “Dodie!” He waved happily in someone’s direction. “Come meet the baby!”

“Does he mean me?” Virgil looked to Logan for help.

“I believe you’re about to experience an equivalent to women passing a newborn around for everyone to hold.” Logan raised an eyebrow. “Patton is very excited.”

Patton scampered over with the tiniest morsel of a woman. This girl, who Virgil assumed was an adult had long brown hair and a young face. She could probably fit in a backpack.

“This is Virgil.” Patton gestured eagerly. “Virgil, this is our friend, Dodie.”

“Hello.” She chirped with an equally tiny voice nestled in an English accent.

“Hi.” Virgil looked between the three adults.

“I trust you’re adjusting to all the Patton hugs?” Dodie smiled. “It’s sometimes hard if you don’t like cuddles.”

“I’m getting used to it.” Virgil smiled back. There was no way she’d hurt him, right?

“Who doesn’t like cuddles?” Patton asked in surprise. “Cuddles are the best!”

Dodie and Logan both laughed.

“Virgil, they’re laughing at me.” Patton protested. “They’re making fun of my Patton-ted hugs.”

“Did you just make a pun with your name?” Logan sighed.

“Yeppers. You deserve a Patton the back for guessing that one.”

“This is what my life has become.” Logan rubbed his temples.

“Your name is a pun, Logan.” Patton put a hand on his shoulder.

“Falsehood.” Logan snapped quickly.

“It’s true honey, your name is Logan Berry. Like loganberries.”

“I may scream.”

“But can’t.” Patton added. “Your volume is too low-gun.”

“You’re dead to me.”

“I love you.” Patton wrapped his arms around him.

Logan sighed and grabbed one of Patton’s hands.

“Why are you like this?” Logan looked back at him.

“God owed me a favor.” Patton pressed his cheek to Logan’s.

Virgil couldn’t help but laugh at that. The sheer amount of confidence in that phrase was a power move for the ages. No one could top that.

“You call yourself a catholic.” Logan said harshly.

“No, I call myself Patton.”

“That one’s on me.”

“Uncle Patton never said he was catholic.” Virgil looked up at them.

Could this be it? The explanation. Could a stern religious upbringing have warped his father into a cruel person? And could that same life have also turned Patton into a soft puppy dog of a person?

“Yeah, we were raised catholic.” Patton shrugged. “But mom was never too strict with it. She even ended up getting divorced, so, I guess we weren’t that religious. We didn’t even eat fish that often.”

Virgil deflated. The explanation that he wanted, that he needed. The explanation that he deserved! Once again, it had slipped through his fingers. He saw red for a second. What made a monster? What made his father? Had a loving, supportive home really churned out that bastard? What the hell happened? It didn’t fit!

He looked up at his uncles. Logan had come from the sort of home that Payton described to his voters, and he was a stand-up guy. Happily married despite his homophobic parents and willing to pull some strange kid off the streets and let him live in his house. And all in all, Logan would be a great dad. Were Logan and Payton just products of their environments in a different way? Did each of them just choose to defy their own upbringing? What made Payton decide to turn the other way? Hell, for that matter what made Logan?

“Virgil, we can get you a chair if you don’t want to sit on the grass.” Logan shattered his concentration.

“I’m good.” Virgil answered once the shock wore off.

This! This is exactly what I am talking about!

“Here you go.” Patton put another paper plate in his hands and kissed him on the forehead. “And this is for you, not the puppers.”

“I tried to keep it away from her.” Virgil took the plate. “She was just too fast.”

“I know.” Patton ruffled his hair. “Once you’ve eaten why don’t you go introduce yourself to the other kiddos? Maybe you can make some friends.”

“Sure.” Virgil shoved an entire brownie in his mouth. For some ungodly reason it was spicy.

Now beginning to think that no one in this cul-de-sac could cook, and not wanting to look rude Virgil swallowed the brownie. His eyes watered and his mouth tasted like a used napkin from an Italian restaurant. He ran his tongue across his teeth and found what was left of dried leaves stuck to his gums. He spat them out on the grass.

Virgil glanced up at Patton, who also had a brownie. Maybe it was just him, maybe he just didn’t like sweets. He observed Patton intensely. Patton took a bite out of his pastry and a look of confused disappointment swept over his face. He reluctantly swallowed and set the remaining brownie on the grass.

“I think someone put oregano in those.” Patton coughed.

“Barbra again?” Logan questioned.

“No, she doesn’t use sugar.” Patton rubbed his chin. “Let’s search out the culprit.”

“Sure, why not?” Logan shrugged.

“Ok, Virgil, if you need us, we’ll be nearby.” Patton patted him on the head.

“I didn’t think you were gonna abandon me.”

“Ok, just yell for us or Roman if you need us.”

“Cool.” Virgil chanced a corncob. Surely plain vegetables couldn’t surprise him.

There was a hotdog in it.

As soon as his uncles were out of sight Virgil set his plate on the ground. The dogs could have it. Desperately confused, he lay down on his side and thought. The pork was a banana peel, the brownies were made with oregano and the corn, which he couldn’t for the life of him figure out how, had a hotdog in the center instead of a corn cob.

“If this is weird, I swear to god…” Virgil picked up one of Roman’s watermelon balls.

Sweet rapture, it was just watermelon. He all but wept tears of relief. And had his foot not been in a cast he would have danced.

“So,” A disinterested voice interrupted him. “You’re the new kid.”

Virgil looked up and saw the single coolest person in the known universe. There before him was a man of about thirteen clad in baggy jeans that were held up by one belt and adorned with two more. A chain hung from one belt that trailed down into his pocket. He wore a legion of black rubber and leather bracelets that accented his MSI t-shirt. His judgmental look was emphasized by two eyebrow piercings and three small hoop earrings in his ear cartilage. He tilted his head to show off the half-shaved half long look his dyed grey hair had been styled in. It was notably uneven, he must have done it himself. What a legend.

“Maybe.” Virgil tried to play it cool as he wiped watermelon juice off his chin. “I’m new here, but in other places I’ve live many lifetimes.”

“Cool.” The legend accepted him. This was a glorious day. “My dad wanted me to introduce myself to you.”

Man, doesn’t that just figure? I should’ve known that this icon wouldn’t just talk to me for the hell of it.

“Cool, I’m Virgil.” He tried to sound like he wasn’t drooling over this guy’s look. “I’m named after hell’s tour guide.”

“I’m Lucian.” He bested him with a way cooler name. “So, you’re living with Patton and Logan?”

Wait, I can just call adults by their first names?

“Yeah, they’re cool.”

I think.

Lucian scoffed. Evidently Patton and Logan weren’t cool. Virgil looked around a single idea was creeping up on him. And that was the idea that this dude may be here to torture him. He looked around for Patton, maybe he was within earshot. But if he yelled for Patton he’d be ‘that kid’ and so far, that was one of the few things he hadn’t been yet.

No, mostly he was just that idiot who still wet the bed, and wasn’t that so fucking funny? He had also had a few panic attacks, one on stage. There weren’t many people in his corner.

“Anyway…” Virgil said awkwardly, still trying to gauge if this guy wanted to attack him or not. “Are there any other cool guys here or is it just you?”

“I’m pretty much the only cool guy in the neighborhood. And, like the only other dude.”

At that Virgil looked around the yard. Lucian was right, most of the people had daughters. From the looks of things, they were they only guys there. Another observation was that a lot of the parents seemed to be single. That or they were all in gay relationships like his uncles were. Was this a gay community? A gay-borhood?

“Wanna see my scars?” Virgil offered blankly.

“Sure.” Lucian seemed taken aback.

Virgil’s hands weren’t in as bad shape as before. But they were still messed up. The skin had stiffened up, making it difficult to open and close his hands still. And his palms currently looked like melted plastic with massive blisters jutting up out of them. He had band aids on both thumbs and his left index finger to cover up the missing nails. And finally, there was a very faint ribbing pattern in the center of his palms. Left over from the desk lamp he had tried to bust his window with.

Lucian stared at his hands with a dismayed look of revolution and terror.

“Geeze dude.” He gagged. “How long were you trapped in there?”

“I don’t know. I left my stopwatch behind.” Virgil shrugged.

Lucian gave a respectful scoff at the joke.

“So, do a lot of people know about the…” Virgil struggled to do air quotes. “Fire?”

“Yeah, my dad told me. Then he told me not to bring it up. I mean, like, why tell me if I have to act like I don’t know?”

Virgil chewed on one of his bandages, he was debating running away from this conversation. The god of coolness knew that he used to be his dad’s punching bag and that wasn’t exactly ideal. He’d prefer for that not to have happened. Fight or flight was kicking in, but he couldn’t exactly fight a topic.

“Whatever.” He tried to play it off. “So, do you go to school nearby?”

“Yeah.”

Ok, let’s try something that will get me a better answer.

“Did you eat any of the food yet?”

“No.”

“Ok, because it’s all not what it’s supposed to be.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lucian squinted.

“It means I ate corn of the cob and found a hotdog in it.” Virgil held up the offending vegetable as proof. “Exhibit A.”

“What the fuck?” Lucian snatched it away and looked at it closely. “What the hell? There’s a hot dog in here! How? Why? The fuck?”

“I know right? And there was pulled pork that turned out to be a banana peel, and someone made brownies with oregano in them.”

“Geeze, these cookouts get weirder every time.” Lucian sneered.

“Do you have a lot of these around here?”

“Sure, Jenna and Julian love to do weird things like this. And Brain is always ready to show off. And my dad likes to throw dinner parties.” He made a face and did air quotes. “Like the Victorians.”

“Well, I guess I have to socialize now.” Virgil sighed.

Speaking of that particular hell, Roman emerged out of nowhere with a tall, dark woman in tow. Roman’s friend had waist length hair that flowed down her back like liquid ebony and walked with an air of confidence that almost rivaled him.

“Hi Virgil.” Roman greeted happily. “I see you’ve met Lucian.”

“I have.” Virgil nodded. In his past life this would be the point where he was forbidden to talk to this guy under whatever pretext.

“That’s nice. We all figured you two would get along.” Roman beamed and gestured towards his guest. “This is our friend Lily.”

“What’s up?” Lily asked excitedly.

“Uhh… we were talking about food?” Virgil looked at the grass, intimidated by this massive presence.

“You shouldn’t talk about the food behind its back like that.” Lily answered. “You have to insult it to its face.”

Virgil looked at Roman for help. Roman just smiled at him. But Lily saw him and laughed.

“I’m just teasing.” She waved a hand dismissively. “I’m just here to observe how deep Patton and Logan’s betrayal runs.”

“What?” Virgil sunk into himself.

“Now that they’re adopting, every single person and childless couple is gonna get twice the flack about…” She did a higher voice. “Settling down and starting a family.” She returned to her normal voice. “When ya girl wants to do that, she will. And it is none of your business. I’m a brown woman, so I already get nagged about that by my family. I don’t need my neighbors to start.”

“Yes mam.” Virgil uttered in awestruck terror.

“Anyway.” She ruffled his hair, like Patton had done hundreds of times already. “It was nice meeting you. I won’t cramp your style anymore.”

With that she left, and Virgil was convinced he had just met the god of yore or some other deity.

“She’s fun, isn’t she?” Roman smiled.

“Yeah.”

“Well, I came over to make sure Barbra doesn’t get a chance to talk to you.” He continued. “She probably wishes you were dead as well.”

“I’ll keep Karen away from him.” Lucian said disinterestedly.

“Good. Don’t even let her look over here.” Roman said backing away.

Roman tripped over a sprinkler but recovered himself with surprising grace and walked away. As he left a new figure emerged. A dude roughly the same age as them wearing an orange hoodie with the hood up. The hood half concealed dark curly hair and cast a shadow on his sort of mustache that he was trying to grow. You know the kind, it’s like six hairs and they’re all different lengths.

“My dad told me to introduce myself to you.” Hood man sneered at him.

I wonder if anyone can talk to me without being told first. But I’m two for two in pity friends.

“Cool.” Virgil said blankly. “I’m Virgil.”

“I’m Ernest.” Hood man returned.

Virgil tried to think of anything he would have in common with people his own age. And unless these two were chess club members, which they obviously weren’t because they weren’t losers, he was going to come up short. His dad was in prison and he was still screwing him over. He really was all powerful.

“Did either of you eat any of the brownies?” Ernest asked in a hushed voice.

“Yeah, there was oregano in them for some ungodly reason.” Virgil answered.

“What?” Ernest looked confused. “They’re pot brownies, they’re not made with Italian spices.”

“I don’t feel high.” Virgil shrugged. “You sure you didn’t get ripped off?”

“Lucian.” Ernest glared daggers at their third member. “What did you sell me?”

“Oregano leaves.” Lucian scoffed. “And apparently that’s a good thing, because you were planning on drugging the entire neighborhood!”

“You scammed me! I want my ten bucks back!”

“No way! You paid me ten bucks to learn a valuable lesson.”

Virgil pulled the draw strings on his hoodie and started chewing on them.

“What lesson?!”

“Not to be an idiot! What would have happened if one of the little kids ate your roofied crap?”

“Weed is less unhealthy than chocolate!”

“Not if you don’t know you’re getting high! What if someone gave River a brownie?! You would have drugged a baby!”

“So, you just threw whole ass leaves in some brownie mix?” Virgil interrupted. “And what, hoped that no one would notice?”

“What?” Lucian walked over to the table and came back with a brownie. “You idiot! You’re supposed to make it into butter first!”

�� “How the hell was I supposed to know that!” Ernest threw his hands up. “I can’t just google how to make pot brownies!”

Virgil limped over to the table and came back with a lemonade. He drank it contentedly as the scene unfolded.

“What if someone ate one of them and went in the pool you jackass?!”

“You can’t swim after eating! No one would have!”

“Ok, but they were whole leaves.” Virgil said probably to himself. “Even if it was real drugs anyone would have just spat them out after one bite.”

“You can’t just drug people! You’re describing the thought process of a rapist!” Lucian crescendo-ed.

“Ok. I’m calling my dog over, so your head explodes.” Ernest said sternly.

“Careful not to drug her!”

Virgil left and came back with a plate of chips. The argument was going great. Clearly Lucian was winning, but Ernest whistled, and bear dog came bounding over. Bear dog gave Lucian a quick lick on the hand before he could react and then she went for Virgil’s chips.

“This isn’t over you dick.” Lucian said before storming off.

Ernest stood victorious. Bear dog ate Virgil’s entire plate, plate and all.

“The brownie thing was stupid though.” Virgil commented, petting the massive dog. “Like, that was poorly planned at best.”

“I know that now.” Ernest rolled his eyes. “But it’ll be a cold day in hell before I admit that to Lucian.”

“I admire your resolve.”

Virgil counted that event as a success. No one died, nothing caught on fire and no one got arrested. He even made a couple of friends. Granted they were pity friends, but he would take what he could get. And they made hamburgers towards the end that didn’t have any weird stuff in them. Great success.

#sanders sides #sanders sides human au #logicallity #parental moxiety #parental anological #platonic lamp #pattonsanders #logansanders #romansanders #virgilsanders #famILY

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