#process your trauma dammit

[thirstydiglett]

How the straw hats comfort you on bad mental health days

Here, have something shamelessly self-indulgent.

LUFFY

Hugs, hugs, hugs, and more hugs. The second he finds out you’re struggling, the dude will not let go of you. He keeps telling you how you’re his close friend, how important to the crew you are, etc until you finally start to feel better. You know how utterly safe you are in Luffy’s arms, and it calms you down.

ZORO

Zoro has a hard time expressing himself, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to see you having a rough time and do nothing about it. He’ll likely offer to train with you—Zoro knows the power of exercise to help mental health, and he’ll guide you through some workouts that will really help you feel stronger and happier.

USOPP

We know Usopp loves to tell stories, and he’ll regale you with one of his best—even if you can’t muster up the energy to respond much. He knows you’re listening, and he knows his silly adventure tale is warming you up inside. He just loves making you happy god dammit 😭

SANJI

Not only will Sanji cook you all your favorite dishes, he’ll simply…stay by your side as much as you need it all day long. He’s there at your service for anything you need, of course, but he also knows the value in simply making you feel safe and protected. He’ll chat softly with you, distracting you from the negative thoughts, and if you let him he’ll put a gentle arm around you.

NAMI AND ROBIN

I think our lovely ladies would offer to take a bath in the bathhouse together—not as anything sexual, just a bonding activity. You all sit in the warm water, enjoy the spa treatment and talk about shared trauma and steps you’ve taken to improve things. They’re proud of you, and they want you to know it.

CHOPPER

Chopper would not only find the perfect balance of medicinal herbs to soothe your symptoms, he’d also take you out for chocolate sundaes and cotton candy! Chopper knows the value in a little something sweet to help heal the heart. He just listens to you as you both eat your ice cream, offering therapeutic advice where you ask for it.

FRANKY

Franky is the type to distract you from the mental health issues by drawing you into a project. Maybe he suddenly needs your help designing a new workbench, or maybe he just wants to do your hair. He draws you into something new and interesting and watches your anxiety fade as you work together.

BROOK

Brook, obviously, writes you a song!! It’d something warm and cheerful, but still acknowledging your strength and bravery as you fight through your mental illness. If you play a musical instrument, maybe the two of you jam together, writing something entirely new and your own.

JINBEI

He’s a meditator. He’ll instruct you to lay in the shade of Nami’s trees and breathe deeply. He’ll slowly launch into a gentle guided meditation, reminding you how safe and unconditionally loved you are. By the time he finishes, you feel as if you are melting into the grass—safe and sound.

BONUS

LAW

At first, Law tries to ignore the problem—he figures it might go away by itself, even though the worry bites in the back of his head. By the time he realizes something is truly wrong, he is the most sweet and attentive man in the world. He listens to you, he holds you close to him, he helps you do the things you’re unable to. He is unbelievably protective of you, not letting the crew get close unless you say it’s ok.

ACE

Ace is the type to try and cheer you up by bringing you along with him on some sort of ridiculous adventure. His goal is to make you see the world from a new angle, to reset your brain by giving it something new to process. If that doesn’t work, he’s happy to light a fire in the hearth, wrap an arm around you, and keep you nice and warm while he regales you with stories from other adventures (and he’s had many, many adventures).

SABO

Man, Sabo GETS. IT. You can’t look me in the eye and tell me this man doesn’t have some kind of disorder. He’s gonna slowly talk you through your symptoms and work on healing you one at a time. I have a feeling he’d be very affectionate with you as well, no matter what your relationship is like. Oh, and he’ll offer to fight anything that could have possibly triggered you. He’ll fucking do it too. Burn down half the island for you if he has to.

CORAZON

If you’re on Doflamingo’s crew, this man’s number one priority is keeping you safe so Doffy doesn’t see your “weakness”. He’ll come up with some excuse to keep you confined to an extra-safe space, then he’ll throw on his silent and put on your favorite bad TV show to watch together. You two will be howling by the end of it, and eventually you’ll fall asleep snuggled on his chest, feeling very safe and loved.

#one piece #straw hats #Nico Robin #luffy #zoro #sanji #nami #tony tony chopper #usopp #soul king Brook #jinbei #la #trafalgar d Law #portgas d ace #Sabo #Corazon

[honeygrahambitch]

Do you think, when Hannibal tells Will about Mischa and his trauma around food prepared by other people, that Will has a very sudden realisation that’s he’s hurt Hannibal in ways he hasn’t actually realised until now? And now Hannibal is working through this trauma, and refuses to blame Will for it.

Will lied about who they were eating together in Nako-Choko, arguably the closest Hannibal can get to reliving his trauma in that situation, and Will is also (indirectly) responsible for Hannibal giving up his control over what he eats for three years (and autonomy in other areas of his life).

Maybe Hannibal makes it clear that Will is forgiven, Will didn’t know, and it’s not the worst thing they’ve done to each other, but Will still feels so guilty about it, he resolves to help Hannibal through this.

Thank you, anon, I can't believe I have been so blind to this perspective which makes me want to eat my bed sheets and scream at my neighbor's door like a lunatic.

I have never realized Will's more or less direct involvement in Hannibal's food trauma dammit. The thought that Hannibal had to eat that horrendous food prepared by strangers in the hospital for three damn years is making me throw up honestly. Cause I am not sure how much that experience has helped him. He was basically forced into dealing with his trauma, it wasn't part of a normal healing process, it was extreme and he just accepted it. I would give an arm and a leg to find out what was going on in his mind.

Now sorry, I know your ask was about something else but i had to scream over this concept.

Yeah, I think Will would feel guilty for it cause as much as they hurt each other Will wouldn't go as far as to mess up with his childhood trauma on purpose. I have many headcanons where Will accidentally fucks up by triggering him unintentionally, it's one of my favorite trope I guess.

Also now that you mentioned Naka-choko, you are very right to say that Will must have felt very guilty about lying about the piece of meat he brought BUT imagine the moment Hannibal realized that Will (his dear Will!) has done exactly what those people have done to him many years ago. Served him food and later told him what it actually was. His own sister.

Will is not aware of how much he jad actually hurt Hannibal along the episodes. He just doesn't know about it cause for more than half of the series he is unaware of how much Hannibal loves him.

But indeed, when they start talking about it post-fall, I believe each of them learn a lot about the other and about how much each of their actions have impacted the other.

#im kissing you anon #chef's kiss #hannibal #hannigram #hannibal lecter #will graham #hannibal nbc #hannibal series

[alltheyearsblog]

What’s your opinion on 07 Raph?

Buckle up for a long one, my dudes, I have FEELINGS about 2007.

07 Raph irritates me as much as 07 Leo does. Again, I feel like they nuke parts of his characters and just make him “the angry one”.

And look, the writers were obviously trying to highlight that Leo is feeling massive shame for not meeting whatever goal Splinter had set for him (put a pin in that thought, we’ll come right back to it), and Raph is feeling HUGE angry because he feels abandoned by his big brother. The family is feeling lost because it’s been out of balance for two years. And people who watch it and are big fans of the series can come to it and write fix it fics that fill in the gaps (taizi just wrote this beautiful piece for the @turtlestogetherzine that was recently release on their ao3 that makes me cry). But if you have never ever seen anything turtles before and this is your intro? I feel like people walk away thinking they’re total assholes. I dragged my now husband out on a date to go see it when it came out and he had to listen to me angry whisper “OH YOU HUGE ASSHOLE” when Leo tells Raph “Because I’m better than you.”

LIKE BITCH WHY ARE YOU BEING PETTY AF.

But, again, fan fiction writers have saved them and remind me that these are boys who have some significant trauma that is manifesting in ways that make them bearish and prickly and they still have cool ass things going on like I love Raph as the Nightwatcher and Leo saving innocences in South America? Swoon. I do want to point out some positives.

But let’s get back to that pin, shall we? Because I actually think most of this irritation can be traced back to Splinter. It’s wild to send Leo away, but hey, sure, training exercises can be good, but for a whole YEAR? With little direction? A teenage child who has spent his entire life together with his three brothers, his father, and later his human sister and brother off to solitude for a year? In a whole other country when he hasn’t even left New York for longer than a freaky space and time excursion and even then he was with his family? Then your son stops writing and your sad about it but that’s cool, he’s ok and just needs time? Nary a concern? Because I would be freaking out that my son why dead, but maybe that’s me overreacting.

Then he doesn’t do anything back at home with Raph, Don, and Mikey. He leaves them to their own devices, doesn’t seem to continue training, doesn’t intervene when there are obvious tensions and hurts building between his children. Then when Leo does come back he just shoves them together and says “you can’t go back to fighting until you figure out how to work as a team” but then doesn’t do anything to help that process either? Maybe I’m being unfair, but also we have 03 Splinter who would have had NONE of this shit and while he did send Leo away it was a last resort type thing and he sent him to therapy with his great grandfather. And he frigging hike from New York to Japan when his sons did go missing. And 07 had that material to refer to.

Again, I think the writers were trying to simplify a lot of things for a 90 minute movie and that is hard to do and I haven’t had to write and produce a major film but dammit, guys, why you gotta do my boys dirty like that?

#teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt #tmnt 2007 #2007 raph #2007 leo #raph tmnt #tmnt leo

[romanarose]

My Hero

Steven Grant x Fem!Reader

Reader is just me. What can I say.

Summary: You work at the coffee shop of the London Museum, and you're used to guys being a bit weird, but when one gets a bit handsy, your work crush steps in to help you

Warnings: Guy being creepy, inappropriate touching (just the shoulder) slight aggressive behavior (grip on arm), anxiety attack, references to past trauma but I promise this fic is pretty light, mostly about Steven being a sweety. Breif refernce to Linkin Park and Chester Bennington's suicide, just a fair warning.

A/N: Like most of my fics, this is based off of something that happened to me while working at a cafe in San Diego, except I didn't have a Steven Grant to save me, I had to try and override my freeze response to get out of it, and cry outside alone. Like everything in my life, I process it though writing, to allow myself control over the situation. I was pretty proud of myself for being able to get out of it without help, when for years, I would just freeze.

Italics are Marc, bold is steven, red is jake.

****************

Christ, he was handsome. Disarmingly so. Steven Grant, your coworker at the gift shop, was just the right kind of dorky. You didn't mean dorky as an insult, ooohhhh no. You were a huge dork. You had a baby Yoda Shirt on right now, and a Simple Plan tattoo from your emo phase that you never quit grew out of.

'It's not a phase mum! This is who I am now!'

And it wasn't a phase! It was who you were!

And Steven seemed to enjoy it, although he may not fully understand it. He came to your register one day, looking absolutely dead tired, not looking at you as he said hello and mumbled something about 'Whatever has caffeine' You gently explain that since this is a coffee shop, almost everything has caffeine. He looked up at you like he was about to break down crying if he had to make a single choice.

"Okay! Okay uuuhhh do you like drinks more sweet, or earthy taste?"

"Er, sweet I supposse. But I'm vegan" He perked up a bit at your bright, patient smile. Get it Steven

"Yeah no problem! We have a vegan caramel, it's a $0.50 upcharge, so are the milk subs, is that okay?"

Cheapest date we've ever had

"Right, of course, no problem there, do you have oat?"

"Absolutely!" There was no line, so you went ahead and made his drink, vegan caramel macchiato two double espresso. "Here, try it!"

Steven, this isn't coffee this is sugar

The man took a drink, and looked almost relieved. "Oh it's wonderful, love! How much do I owe you?" You finally smiled at you, and you felt like your heart would fly out your chest.

God dammit, she's trouble.

You shake your head. "No charge today, call it a taste test"

Okay, now this is the cheapest date we've ever been on

"Oh no! No, I can pay! I don't want to get you in trouble"

You reassure him. "You won't, I'm the morning manager, just come back for more sometime, yeah?"

Damn right we'll be back.

Steven put 5 quid in your tip jar before promising he'd be back. And he was. Every morning for coffee, and usually again in the afternoons for tea. You had taken to visiting him in the gift shop if he was too busy to come to your side, which eventually turned to you bringing him a tea every afternoon, to which he'd respond shock every single time you handed him the cup. He'd take it with a "Oh love, you shouldn't have!" Every single time, as if he was surprised someone was continuously showing him kindness.

In turn, Steven would listen to you talk about your music interests. Even though he had never heard of the music you talked about, he kept a mental cataloged of everything you mentioned and actively participated in the conversation. "What? My Chemical Romance released a new song?! How long was that hiatus, 10 years? How they kept that a secret, I'll never know"

You had to admit your little work crush was turning into something deeper, as the months drew on with him, and yet you couldn't make a move. You weren't afraid of asking men out, much to your traditional parents' horror, but Steven was different. You had a friendship you cared deeply about, how could you risk that. What would you do if you didn't see his face int he morning, disheveled but smiling? What else did you have going on after work, other than to wonder the museum with him as he explained the niche facts he knew? Who would sit with you on your lunch break and tell you about the bullshit things Donna would say to him about his autism, and then insist you not report her because he doesn't want to cause problems? Sweet Steven meant the world to you. And you knew damn well that shy man wouldn't ask you out if he even was interested.

So here you were, waiting for him to come see you for his morning coffee where you never upcharged him, so you can show him the video's your friend took of Matty Heely at the concert they went too.

The playlist in the coffee shop right now was yours. You were allowed to play your music as long as there wasn't swearing or too much screaming, so you have found a playlist of lighter emo/rock songs. However, you had failed to check it all the way through, and Leave Out All the Rest by Linkin Park came on, a song that you could no longer listen to after Chester Bennington's death on your birthday. You set down the latter you were working on as the espresso dripped into the cup, going to go skip the song.

But this slight detour in making coffee in order to prevent you from crying at 8 am on a Tuesday was simply too much for the man who was waiting on his stupid overpriced latte as you reached for your phone.

"Ma'am" He stepped into your work area behind the counter as you walked past, grabbing your arm. "How much longer on the coffee?" He asked.

Your entire world focused in on the man's grip on you, and the music playing overhead threatening to take your back to the place you had been in when he died. His grip was light, so you tried to take a step back, muttering 'excuse me', but his grip tightened harsh enough to cause bruises as his fingers dug painfully into your skin. "You should take care of customers before playing on your phone"

You froze, as he started yelling about needing his coffee, but not letting you move. The music was too much and the emotions the song brought mixed with the memories the man's grip on you triggered, you found yourself unable to move, your young coworker standing by in shock, unsure what to do.

The next thing you register is slightly being yanked forward as the man was pulled away from you, and Steven Grant stepping between your near-hyperventilating form. You have enough thought to turn off that godforsaken song with the phone in your hand, realizing then that Steven hand his arm out beside you, in case the man tried anything further. "Alright mate, lets back away, yeah?"

"She's supposed to be making my coffee" He argued, taking another step to move behind the counter, but Steven's other hand pushed him back, his body blocking the man's accesssto you and the 18-year-old you were working with.

"You'll get your bloody coffee, one more step and it'll be on your face instead."

You couldn't imagine you're sweet Steven throwing hot coffee on someone, but something told you that even if he didn't follow through with that threat, the man wouldn't touch you again, nor poor McKenna, who was just trying to pay for college.

The man stared at Steven like he was assessing the situation. Steven wasn't tall by any means, and it wasn't like he was jacked, but he was deceptively strong, and you had a itching feeling the passive man would go absolutely unhinged if the need arose. There was spark in his eyes, a passion that said he knew right from wrong and he would defend it if he could.

The man must've seen it too, because he took a few steps back, raising his hands in defeat and suddenly acted all innocent. "Alright mate, no trying to start anything, just want me coffee"

"Here" McKenna handed him the coffee and he left.

Steven watched him leave. The absolute nerve of him, thinking he can go around harassing girls just trying to do their jobs. Everyone complains about a lack of service workers, but Christ can you blame them? I wouldn't want to do this shite either with twits like that hanging about!

Steven, he's leaving, go check on her Marc reminded him, knowing how Steven can get distracted

Oh! Right, thanks mate What Steven saw broke his heart.

You were staring off into space, shaking as your coworker tried to comfort you, but you looked like you were about to cry. Steven rushed over, careful not to touch you lest he overwhelm you right now. "Hey love, you would like to step outside? Or maybe walk around for a bit?" He turned to McKenna "You can handle it here for a bit, yeah?"

She nodded. "Yeah, go take a breather"

You nod in return, gaze not focusing on him yet. "Uh, yeah, yeah can we step outside" you grab your purse.

You took Steven's hand, not caring if it was too bold. You had been really scared, and he made you feel safe.

"Stevie!" Donna had bellowed as he guided you past the gift shop. "Just where do you think you're going?"

"Having a smoke break, Donna!" He called out.

"You don't smoke!"

"Let me have this, or I'll start" He threatened, looking at Donna challengingly. When she didn't argue, he continued "Right then, cheers" and took you outside to breath. "Hey there, are you-" But he was cut off with a strong hug and quit cries. He wrapped his arms around you, feeling your chest rise and fall in his arms. He didn't speak, merely opting to rub your back appropriately high and allow you to cry to out.

When you pulled back, sniffling, you realized how gross and wet his t-shirt sleeve had gotten. "oh god, I'm sorry Steven" You said, looking defeated in a way he had never seen you, usually so alight with excitement and in love with life.

"Huh?" He looked at the tear covered sleep that may or may have snot on it. "Oh, please, don't worry about that, I didn't even like this shirt" it was his favorite, but that didn't matter.

You were mumbling fuck and shit and goddammit into your purse as you dug through, getting tissues and blowing your nose before using the clean ones to wipe off his shirt as best you could. "Bloody hell, I'm fucking disgusting" you say to yourself more than anything as you frantically try to clean him.

Steven grabs your hand "Darling, no, you aren't disgusting" He catches and holds your gaze for the first time that day. "You just had a scary time, that man was horrible, and I hope he forgets to put his seat down on the toilet, then wakes up in the middle of the night to shit and falls in."

Finally, you laugh and grace him with the smile he loved so much. "That's... a bit out of pocket"

"Yeah" He breaths out a laugh, shrugging a bit, nervously.

"Here" You take off your oversized jacket and hand it to him.

"Oh! No love, it's fine-"

"Steven, my snot is on your sleeve, please allow me this little bit of dignity"

Steven graciously accepts the jacket, and you can help smile at how cute he looks with Baby Yoda on the breast pocket. Having felt pain in your arm when you took the jacket off, you pull up the sleeve to find bruises forming on your arm, and wince.

Steven took your arm in a carful hold, frowning deeply as he examined it Hijo de puta I'll fucking kill him "Bastard's banned, I'll have JB pull up the security camera footage, he won't be allowed back after this"

You wipe tears from your eyes with your arm, and try to explain yourself. "I... know that was a bit of a, erm, an overreaction" you sniffle. "There's been guys who... well I've been in some scary situations... um..." you hesitate to open up about that part of your life.

Steven sensed your discomfort. "It's okay, you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to" You smile. You weren't ready for that yet, but you knew he'd listen if you were. He continues, justifying your reaction for you. "I would be scared too, if someone did that too me. He hurt you, love. And the song that was playing, that was Linkin Park, yeah? That song that always upsets you? I'm certain that didn't help"

You pause at that. "Since when do you listen to Linkin Park? Since when do you even listen to music?"

Steven looked like he had been caught. "Oh... uh... Well, since you told me they were your favorite band, I suppose. Can't say I understand all the appeal, but I've found some I liked." He said shyly, knowing he was letting the cat out of the bag.

You blink at him, eye wide with disbelief. "You... you listened to my favorite band?"

Steven cocked his head to the side a bit. "Bands. I've listened to several you mentioned. I've found I rather like Panic! At the Disco, which I didn't see coming"

You burst out in a laugh and wide grin. "Steven, do you have any plans tonight?" You ask, taking his hand.

Say something smooth, this is your chance.

"Um... yeah, I'm cooking dinner for my pretty coworker" Steven smiled nervously, brown curls falling in his face.

You beam at him, leaning into his shoulder as you walk back inside. As you walk through the doors, you clarify. "The coworker is me, right?"

"There's no one else I'd rather spend the evening with"

***************

I know this was incredibly self-indulgent but I hope ya'll liked it anyway. When this happened, I had to deal with it alone, but after work I walked home with this coworker I had a crush on (he lived a block away so he always walked me home) and he saw I was upset after what happened so he asked me to explain star wars to him.

me "uh, like, what about it?"

him "I know the basics of the origenals, tell me the plot of the movies"

"which ones?"

"all of them"

"theres nine movies"

"and i wanna hear about all of them"

Even after we got to my apartment he sat outside with me as I finished explaining 8 and 9, and he activily participated and pretended to be invested, which significantly distracted me from the triggering even of the man at work grabbing me. I wanted to marry him so bad but I had to move out of that living situation XD so i left the state

Also: my birthday is July 20th. linkin park is my favorite band, which means on July 20, 2017 I woke up to the news that Chester Bennington had died on the birthday I shared with chesters friend and another artist i loved, chris cornell, who had killed himself earlier that year. it took years before I was able to properly celebrate my birthdy instead of mourning. I always find a way to remember chester and chris every year thought, an honor their memories.

anyway, hope you Steven girlies liked this! I think Ima drop another super short drabble tonight too, bc im going through it right now lol.

@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @welcometostayingawake @in-between-the-cafes @lucianadraven32 @milkymoon2483 @ahookedheroespureheart

#steven grant fluff #protective steven grant #marc spector is a wingman #marc spector #jake lockley #steven grant reader #steven grant x reader #steven grant angst #fluff #moon knight fluff #steven grant x fem!reader #moon knight

[the-ninja-legacy-whip]

sorry if this has been asked before, but since it's halloween, is there any chance you can talk about some of your plans for dotd in legacy whip?

It's been asked about a little bit, but I've never gone into full detail!! And you tricky little anon, asking me just the right question when I'm in just the right mood *boops your nose*

So the "Day of the Departed" is getting it's own story! It's not quite expanded out into a "full season", but it's getting the treatment it deserves, darn it!

It takes places during the DotD of 20X3, which is when the Yin Yang Eclipse happens (and Mystake alluded to during DotD in Book 2, so like...two years from the current time)

The main focus is, of course, that Cole's starting to fade away, and being hurt that everyone's literally forgetting about him (which has already been one of his greatest insecurities). Enraged, and thinking that this might be his last chance to make an impact on anything, he goes to Yang's Temple to confront Yang (and make things worse; that much hasn't changed haha)

The other Ninja, however, are just extremely distracted trying to process all the traumas and losses they've gone through the past few years (Zane and his death/family/robotness...Jay's Skybound situation...Kai and Nya still not knowing the truth of their parents amongst other things...Wu and all his debts/regrets/mistakes...and Lloyd in general...) Soooo yeah Cole's kind of the last thing from their minds during the holiday, and it is horrible timing because oops if they all forget about him during this eclipse he is gone

Jesse, meanwhile, is at the big DotD performance in the city (cuz he's a big shot entertainer now, woo!) with Lou, Mystake, Dareth, and Ronin. Lou wonders where Cole is (as he was supposed to be here supporting his boyfriend hours ago), along with Ronin lowkey-highkey worrying about Harleigh. Mystake warns them that the eclipse has a chance to amplify both Cole's and Harleigh's ghost curses, meaning that there's a chance they could lose them both forever—or that both of them may already be departed.

Of course, Jesse vows to go after Cole before it's too late (using Miranda -who also forgot Cole, dammit Mira- to track Cole's Elemental signature) while Dareth and Ronin use Ronin's ghost hunting tech to find Harleigh (who, unlike Cole, has simply accepted that this is probably gonna be how her life ends)

(And now you see why Harleigh's tarot card is DotD themed heyo)

In the meantime the Ninja all have much more meaningful showdowns with the villains of the past that Cole unleashed (that I am VERY excited for) while also subsequently freaking out about nearly losing Cole and Harleigh

And then Cole/Jesse and Ronin+Harleigh+Dareth have some very turbulent emotional moments with each other that I have been waiting my whole life to write (not really but that's what it feels like ;w;)/ )

#ninjago #day of the departed #legacyverse #the ninja legacy whip #info tag #legacy spoilers #cole brookstone #oc: jesse marvell #oc: harleigh kognito #ronin kognito #sensei dareth #and that's about all i can reveal without too much context reveal #harumi might gets some scenes in here too if i'm feeling spicy

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

I really hope in advance none of this comes off as like. Strange. But I want to say thank you for your blog and your postings about Angel Dust. As someone who was into Hazbin back when the pilot first came out, I've always kept a soft spot for the lil' weirdo, despite everything and my growing resentment the more I'm made aware of Vizie and her. Numerous Issues.

It just feels nice to see this character that, at one point in my life Did genuinely help my younger self process and understand some aspects of my trauma, be treated with the respect and care he was denied in his canon show. I watched through Hazbin (in the most totally legit Legal way possible, mmm yup totally) and went in Knowing about episode 4 and poison, and still felt so so crushed when I got to it. Because god fucking dammit. This could have been something and Wasn't. and it sucks.

I've personally taken to stealing Angel and turning him into a remixed fursona/oc, but seeing how you handle him in the context of the world he was made for just warms my heart. Thank you for what you do. I hope you have a good day!

Oh my god this made me tear up so bad thbnsddhddhhhggghhhbhoiuguggguuhh piuggguuk ouuughhhEEEEEEE💕💕🩷🩷💕💕🩷🩷🩷

💕💕🩷🩷🩷🩷💕💕🩷💕🩷🩷💕💕

I AM SO HAPPY TO HEAR THIS…

Im so glad I can help other people be happy with my writing and portrayals imsoougghhh 💕💕🩷

Angel is such an important character to me, he helps me process my way through so many things I’ve gone through and started to process and knowing I can do that kind of thing for other people makes me unbelievably happy. Seeing how he’s treated in his own media along with everyone else makes me so upset but seeing so much love for my stuff makes me so happy I’m so glad I can help people see the character they want!! I have a very long personal-ish rant about Angel and the fandom in the future so I hope you can enjoy that as well and if not that I hope you can enjoy my random dumb doodles of him!!!

Again im so happy to hear this tysm for this ask!!! Please anyone never feel worried to send me asks abt anything like this or just playfully indulging yourselves I love to see people having fun and being happy tysm again🩷💕💕🩷🙏🙏🙏🙏 I hope you also have a wonderful day/night/afternoon!!!!!! 🩷

[darknessawaits28]

What if? V (female) x Johnny Silverhand

Hey yall, here's a bit of a story of Female V and Johnny where they have a happy ending with each other! Hope you enjoy my lovies! Thank you all for your support, I love chu all! you are awesome! Don't forget to like, follow, and obey! :3 :P

"Johnny......I won't be able to see you again if we do this." "Why don't I just wait it out, I'm going to die anyway and I've done all I could."

"It's okay V, this body was yours to begin with, I'm just a passenger."

"Dammit Johnny, I can't lose you!" V held back her tears, not wanting to appear weak.

"It's time" Alt spoke to both of them, V slamming her fists onto the holographic table in anger, not wanting to go yet.

"Hey, we had a good run and.....if I had another chance at life.....I would never leave you" Johnny cooed, his metal hand caressing her cheek softly.

"You were such a fucking asshole when I first met you, but.....overtime I got used to your stubborn rocker boy self" V chuckled, holding onto his hand that was on her cheek.

"I guess I could say the same about you." "Waking up in a female body, and having tits was fucking amazing." "And having a vagina too, it was like fucking paradise." "I also remember when you told me that you wanted to fucking kill me, and look at you now, clinging to me and begging me not to go" he laughed.

"Shut up you dick bag" V shook her head, giving him a small chuckle.

"I'm going to miss you Valerie" was the last thing Johnny said as V got into the tub and closed her eyes.

"Beginning extraction" Alt said as she began to disentangle Johnny's engram from V's nervous system. "When you wake up V, you will feel your synapses tingling, it'll go away in a few weeks" Alt told her, the sight before V disappearing.

"Argh!" V screamed as she woke up in Mikoshi, the alarms blaring everywhere. "Johnny....Johnny!!" V screamed, not hearing or seeing him. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" V growled as she got out of the water and rushed past the guards, using every last bit of strength she had to survive.

"Ma'am, you alright?" A trauma team medic asked as he looked at V's wounds.

"I'm fine, leave me the fuck alone!" she growled, pushing the man away as he tried to patch up her head wounds.

"If I don't patch you up, you'll bleed out" the medic growled.

"V?" familiar voices could be heard around V, her eyes glancing up to find her friends surrounding her.

"What happened?" "You alright?" River asked, kneeling down beside her.

"Yeah, it looks like a whole fucking can of beans exploded in your face" Judy chuckled.

"What happened to Johnny?" Kerry questioned worriedly, not really caring much about V's well-being.

"I'm fine guys, thanks....and Johnny's gone Kerry" V sighed sadly, standing up on her own two feet and allowed the tears to drip down her cheeks. "I'm going home."

As V pushed past her friends, she headed home to her Megabuilding apartment, heading inside and walking over to her bathroom mirror to see her face covered in cuts and bruises, "Ahh!" she screamed loudly, punching the glass violently, cutting her fingers in the process. "Fuck....Johnny...." She cried, washing her hands and deciding to head to bed to forget the whole ordeal she had to go through. "Johnny.....".

_Two Months later_

"Hey Misty, what's up?" V chuckled, walking into her store with a happy strut.

"Hi V, how are you feeling?" Misty smiled, pulling her into a hug.

"I'm fine, just taking a bit of a break and thinking about moving out of the city to another state" V shrugged, accepting the hug from Misty.

"I'm glad you're doing fine, but before you think about moving to another state, Vik and I have a surprise for you."

"Misty you know I hate surprises."

"I know, but trust me you'll love this!" Misty smiled cutely, grabbing a hold of V's hand and began to drag her out to the back to Vik's clinic.

Obliging, V followed Misty, hating that she had to be dragged to this 'surprise.' "Please tell me that it's a unicorn."

"Oh ha, ha V, no it isn't but....it's something even better" Misty chuckled, letting go of V's hand and pointing down to the clinic.

"Okay, I guess I'll go down myself" V huffed, slowly walking down the stairs, opened the door, and stopped in her tracks hearing a familiar voice.

"Are you sure I'm going to be able to look like my old self?"

"Yes, but don't be doing any unnecessary upgrades to your new body okay?" Vik chuckled, pouring a glass of whiskey and handed it to the man that was in front of him.

V slowly continued down the stairs, her heart racing, her hands reaching the metal gate and opened it quickly.

"Hey V, look who's here" Vik smiled softly.

The mysterious man that was in front of Vik turned around slowly, a big smirk plastered onto his face, "Valerie, do I still look like a rocker boy?" Johnny chuckled, downing the glass of whiskey Vik had given him.

"Johnny!" V screamed, running towards him and nearly jumping on him as she hugged him.

Johnny gasped when he got bear hugged by her, but ultimately hugged her back, taking a deep breathe in. "I told you that I would never leave you" He hummed, pulling her chin up and then pressing a deep kiss against her lips.

#cyberpunk2077 v #Female v #johnny silverhand #love story

[dragonwritersblog]

Just How Fast The Night Changes (Does it Ever Drive You Crazy?)

Chapter 1/Chapter 2/Chapter 3

Read on AO3

Trigger warning, this chapter does describe panic attacks and flashbacks of childhood trauma so again, always feel free to skip this fic. Again, this was written and posted on ao3 before the Mario Movie came out. Other than that, enjoy and feel free to leave constructive criticism!

.

.

.

Present

Well, this was fantastic.

One minute, Luigi was just doing his job, fixing the pipes at an abandoned factory with Mario, their business had taken off ever since…Anyways, he was there one minute and then the next he was being chased down by some type of dinosaur skeletons, before hiding in an abandoned castle, then being tied up by some hooded figures and dragged along to someone that they were calling ‘King Bowser’.

When Luigi finally had a moment to process everything, he was then met face to face with the most terrifying thing he had even seen. Sitting of a throne was some sort of reptilian beast, he was absolutely large with sharp teeth that would devour Luigi within seconds. Luigi gulped; he really did not want that to happen.

Once the hooded figures untied him, the king slowly descended down the steps of his throne and made his way towards the green clad man. Before Luigi could even think about running, a blue aura wrapped around him and pushed him towards the beast, who was much larger up close. From what the beast told him, he was King Bowser of the Koopas, he wanted to rule the world and apparently was also looking for his brother. He had pulled at his moustache hairs, demanding if Luigi know about his whereabouts, to which Luigi replied pathetically with Mario’s exact description thinking that he could throw this king of his brother’s track…then his moustache got ripped out.

He had screamed at the top of his lungs, stopping when the little men in red hoods dragged him down to the dungeon. And now he was here, in a cage hovering above lava, next to a star who couldn’t stop talking about death and no doubt was going to be interrogated about his brother again soon.

Despite this being a bizarre situation, Luigi wasn’t surprised that it happened to him. Out of the two brothers, of course it was going to be him to end up in some type of hellish land. Maybe he deserved it after everything he did. Who was he kidding, he did, he just hoped Mario was safe.

.........

Luigi couldn’t tell how long it had been, he couldn’t see the sky, so he had no way of knowing how much time had passed. All he knew that the guards had brought him a few meals and that he did sleep a couple of times, but that was it. He was about to fall asleep again when his cage shook and vaulted him up in front of a koopa guard.

He unlocked Luigi’s cage as the plumber nervously walked out. “Is this yours?” the guard asked as he flung a bag to the ground. It was Luigi’s plumbing tools! “How did you know this was mine?”

“I didn’t,” the guard said, “You just told me yourself.”

“Oh,” dammit Luigi, you and your stupid mouth.

“Follow me,” the guard ordered, turning on his heel and away from the dungeons, Luigi following. The less he was near that cage, the better.

While he was led hallway to hallway, Luigi took the time to observe his surroundings. The ground was a polished red marble covered with soft red carpet, and the hallways had beautiful matching wallpaper embroidered with gold. Despite his circumstances, the place was quite lovely.

Finally, they had arrived at some type of shower room. “This shower over here isn’t working,” the guard informed him, “Since those tools are made to deal with these sorts of things, you can work on this.”

“Uh, why me?” Luigi asked.

“You’re a plumber, right?” the guard queried.

“Well, yeah but-”

“That you have the abilities to fix these,” he finished, “If you do a good job of this, then we’ll find more work for you to do around the castle. Its better than being in that cell of yours, isn’t it?”

Was this Bowser’s idea of interrogation, get one of his soldiers to make Luigi due free labour? “Did your King tell you to do this?”

The guard was silent for a second, seeming as though he wasn’t expecting for that to be asked of him. “Get to work,” he replied bluntly and turned away as he kept watch of the door.

Luigi shrugged, whether Bowser ordered it or not, he was just glad to be out of that cage. The shower was an easy fix, despite this being a magical land it still had the same pipes as the ones in his home. He did look over his shoulder once in a while to check that the guard was still there, though as he checked one more time before he finished the pipe, he saw that guard was shyly waving at someone. He looked to the door and saw another koopa guard waving back with the same shyness before walking away. The soldier sighed longingly as the other departed, like he was in…oh.

“So, who was that?” Luigi asked.

The guard jumped and turned to Luigi, his face beet red. “I beg your pardon?!” they squawked.

“Sorry, sorry!��� Luigi giggled, “It just seemed that you knew them, that was all.

“Th-they’re no one,” said the koopa, “Just one of my companions.”

“Well, they seem to really like you,” Luigi smiled.

“Y-you’re in no way shape or form to make those statements! Get back to work!” the koopa yelled.

“Of course,” Luigi sighed, “Sorry,” He went back to the pipe, just a few more adjustments and he was done. Why did he even do that? It wasn’t like he knew the koopa, why was he talking like they were friends? That was so stupid, just so stu-

“What gave you the indication that they like me?”

Luigi whipped round, “Come again?”

“You said that they might like me, right?” said the koopa, blushing, “If courting is the same back at your world, do you think they might like me back?”

Luigi wasn’t really an expert in relationships, that was more Mario’s thing. Every time he tried to for romance, it always ended up in embarrassment, heartbreak, or someone expecting more than he could ever give. But he was a romantic and did see how Mario wooed the ladies.

“Well, seeing as they reacted the same way you did when you waved at them, something tells me that you might have a chance with them,” said Luigi.

“Really?” asked the guard, “Do you think that’s possible.”

“I can’t say for certain,” Luigi told him, “But I have a feeling that you should give it a shot, and if it doesn’t go well, you can blame me.”

“I’ll…keep that in mind,” the koopa straightened him back, “Are you finished?”

“Yup,” Luigi nodded, “Should be right as rain now.”

He turned the knob and just as he predicted, water came out of the head and onto the ground. “Perfect,” said the koopa, “Now that you’ve proven yourself, I suppose you-”

“What is the prisoner doing out of his cell?!” a loud voice rumbled throughout the ground, spooking the guard and Luigi.

“King Bowser!” the guard gasped and bowed as the king towered over him, “Forgive me your highness but I found tools belonging to the prisoner and found an opportunity to fix the showers. Forgive me my king, I should’ve informed you first, but my enthusiasm got the better of me.”

Bowser looked to the guard and then to Luigi. The man gulped, the king’s stare piercing right through him and making him sweat that he doubted was from the heat.

The king grumbled under his breath before turning to the guard. “You’re dismissed,” said Bowser, “But if you don’t inform me next time then there will be consequences, do I make myself clear?”

“Of course, your highness,” the guard agreed, “Shall I take the prisoner back to his cell?”

“No,” the king replied without hesitation, “I want to speak to him myself.”

Luigi felt like he was going to vomit, while he was glad the koopa didn’t get into trouble, he was definitely more worried about what was so important to the king that he wanted to speak alone with him.

The guard hurried out the room, giving Luigi one more glance before disappearing.

The king stared at Luigi, who in return tried to hold his gaze. While the king still looked abnormal to the plumber, there was something else to him that Luigi couldn’t explain, something that gave him a sense of warmth despite how startled he felt at the moment.

“So,” the king finally spoke, making Luigi jump, “You managed to fix the pipes,”

“Y-yes,” damn his stutter, “Y-your g-guard just w-wanted it f-fixed.”

“I see,” the king mused, looking at the pipes, “What else can you do?”

Oh, no one else asked Luigi that before, expect for Mario. All anyone really expected from him was plumbing or as a gateway to his brother, but that was fine, it was like Luigi had anything of value to offer like his brother, he wasn’t brave or outgoing or-

“Are you going to make me wait all day?” Bowser growled.

Luigi nearly jumped three feet into the air, “O-of course not! I-I-I-…. I can bake!”

“…you can bake?” the king raised an eyebrow.

Honestly, that was the first thing Luigi can think of. He felt embarrassed it out loud now, Mario always told him about how much he loved Luigi’s baking, but it never meant everyone else did, especially terrifying royalty.

“I see,” Bowser hummed as a smile curved on his lips, however it wasn’t full of malice or cruelty, more like amusement or curiosity. “Follow me,”

Since the king bigger than Luigi, really big, his steps were much larger, so Luigi had to run in order to keep up with him. It seemed that the king had noticed this however and stopped abruptly, making Luigi skid to a stop and slamming into the king’s leg. Now it was his turn to turn red as the king looked down at him. Luigi thought that he was going to be eaten until Bowser scooped him up and carried him with one arm. If it wasn’t for the situation at hand, this was almost quite nice, he kind of missed being held.

They had passed a dining hall with a long table with a massive chair at the end, presumably for Bowser, and the king led Luigi into a kitchen. He gently placed Luigi into the floor as Luigi looked around. “Since you proven that you can be useful, you can bake for myself and the other inhabitants in this castle,” Bowser announced.

“R-really?” Luigi asked, someone actually wanted him to bake?

Your baking is amazing weegee, you need to let others see that!

No, no! Spike’s right, it’s dumb. Besides, they’re not even that good anyway.

“Make something while I’m gone and I’ll try it when I’m back,” said Bowser, “Just to make sure it’s edible.”

“O-oh,” Luigi fidgeted with his hands a little bit, “S-sure.”

The king huffed and turned to go out the door but stopped and turned to Luigi one more time, “Make sure you don’t burn the place down Greenie.”

As soon as he left and Luigi was left alone, all he could do was think about what he could possibly make. What would the king even like? Chocolate cake, apple pie, cookies? Luigi rubbed a hand down his face, he had to focus, maybe he could start somewhere simple. In the end he gathered up the ingredients and assembled a fluffy vanilla sponge cake, complete with a delicious buttercream frosting.

The king came back into the kitchen as Luigi finished piping the frosting. “Looks nice,” he murmured.

“Oh, you think?”

“First we need to make sure it tastes good as well,” said Bowser, grabbing a knife and cut a slice for himself and lifted it onto a plate.

Luigi held his breath as the king took a bite. Bowser paused mid-bite, his eyes widening. Oh no, he hated it, Mario was wrong he was a terrible baker, he should’ve listened to Spike and now he was going to be roasted alive and never see his brother again, all because he baked a stupid cake!

“This is amazing,” Bowser finally replied.

“W-what?” Luigi needed to hear that again, did the koopa king like his cake?

“This is the best thing I ever tasted!” The king beamed, taking another bite, “Its incredible, how did you learn to bake this this?!”

Luigi couldn’t believe it, someone liked…no…loved his baking. No one ever wanted to try his baking before, Spike had always told his that he shouldn’t bother with something so ‘mundane’ but yet here he was, standing in front of someone loved his simple dish. “Thank you,” Luigi whispered.

Bowser looked at him again, as Luigi’s eyes filled with so much joy and happiness that even he started to feel a bit affected by it. Bowser cleared his throat, “Since you’ll be helping out a bit more often there no point in sending you back to the dungeon. I’ll tell Kamek to set up your living quarters, while you wait the kitchen is free for you to use.”

Bowser turned and walked out the kitchen, cake in hand, leaving Luigi alone. Well, not fully alone, another guard was stationed outside the kitchen. Luigi didn’t focus on that though, instead he ran on the spot and squealed excitedly, what else could he make!? Oh, maybe he could make snickerdoodle cookies, Mario always…Mario. Was he betraying his brother by doing this for someone who wanted to destroy him? He was being stupid again, his brother was being hunted down by the king and all Luigi could focus on was making pretty cakes for that king, so fucking stupid!

Luigi sighed, getting out the ingredients anyway, he didn’t want to get on anyone’s bad side, but he also didn’t want to betray Mario. Snickerdoodle it is, after all, no one here would know…right?

.........

Crack!

Boom!

“Mama!”

Crack!

“She didn’t deserve to die that night! It should’ve been you! Why wasn’t it you?!”

Luigi awoke with a cold sweat, another nightmare. He still had nightmares of that night when his parents died, but now his uncle had made his way into them as well. He could still remember the kicks, the punches, but most of all, he could never forget what he said the day when he finally left him.

His heart began beating faster as another ripple of sweat rolled down his face. He started panting heavier and heavier. He deserved to feel like this, he should’ve died that night, he was supposed to die that night, he wished he died that night, why didn’t he die that night?!

He was so wrapped up in his mind that he didn’t notice that light flicking on and a hand gripping his as another rubbed his back. “Breathe,” an old yet wise voice told him. Luigi found himself squeezing the hand and he looked around the room, eyes finally landing on a koopa with a blue robe and glasses. That was the one that did the magic on him, when he first met Bowser.

“Breathe,” he told Luigi again, “In for one, two three for and out, two, three, four.”

Luigi tried to repeat the breathing as best he could, even when he fumbled a little bit the koopa was incredibly patient and soothed him while they continued the breathing. Luigi felt his breathing become steadier, the koopa gently placed a glass of water into his hands, still rubbing his back as Luigi gulped down the water. He placed the glass on the dresser next to his bed as he rubbed sleep away from his eyes.

“How did you know I was having a panic attack?” Luigi asked.

“My job is to make sure that everyone in the castle is taken care of,” the koopa explained, “Including prisoners.”

Luigi slowly nodded, “I’m sorry.”

“There’s no need to be sorry dear boy,” the koopa explained, “Perhaps its better if I introduced myself, I am Kamek, and you are Luigi, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” Luigi blinked.

Kamek hummed, “If you’re comfortable, would you mind telling me what triggered this panic attack?”

“Just a dumb nightmare,” Luigi mumbled.

“Dumb or not if it made you react this way then there is something worth discussing,” said Kamek, “And even if it isn’t worth it, I do believe a discussion may help relieve some of the tension that’s there.”

“W-well,” Luigi looked to his sheets, back to Kamek and back down again, “I was having a nightmare about the night my parents died and…how my uncle told me that I should’ve died instead of my mom.”

Kamek’s face fell slightly “Oh.”

“But it’s fine, I have nightmares all the time and this happens a lot, I’m used to it,” Luigi tried to plaster a fake smile, but it doesn’t seem to fool the old koopa.

“I don’t think this is something you should be used to dear boy,” Kamek said, “Whoever informed you that this is something you should normalise is frankly very wrong.”

“I appreciate the concern but really, I’m fine!” Luigi’s smile was beginning to falter, “I’m fine, it’s fine, I’m fine…I…”

Tears rolled down his cheeks as his fake grin finally faltered. He bit his lip, trying to stifle his sniffles, but when Kamek wrapped his arms around him - in a familiar familial like that Mario would do for him – a loud cry tore from his throat as Kamek gently rocked him, shushing him as sobs wracked the small man’s body.

As his cries calmed down to whimpers, Luigi could fell sleep creep up on him again. Kamek laid the man back down onto his pillows and used the sleeves oh his robe to wipe away the remaining tears. With a wave of his wand, he refilled the glass of water on Luigi’s bedside and quietly made his way of the room.

When he shut the door with the upmost gentleness, he was met face to face with Bowser. “What happened?” the king queried softly, Kamek swore he heard concern with laced with his tone.

“A nightmare, although unfortunately for him, it seemed to be the ones where he's forced to relive the most tragic memories,” Kamek explained, his heart sinking a little as he recalled how Luigi stared up at him, like a frightened child.

“I see,” Bowser pondered, “He did seem a bit more nervous that the other prisoners.”

“You would be a fool not to notice,” Kamek nodded, “I fear that this poor boy might’ve been hurt in his past. Really, really hurt.”

Bowser’s eyes suddenly hardened, the only other family member that he knew that the man had was his brother, if was the one who did this to him-

“I can tell where your mind is,” Kamek spoke up, “Don’t go rushing into assumptions, from what our spies have told us I have a feeling that his brother isn’t behind that boy’s fears. I understand that you want to win this war, but I heavily suggest that you don’t do it at that boy’s expense. From what I’ve seen, he’s gone through enough.”

“What! Of course not!” Bowser bellowed, “Of course I want to win but I’m not sick enough to ever do that do someone!”

“Good,” Kamek nodded and smiled at his surrogate son, “And I hope you stick by that.” With that, Kamek made his way down the hall, leaving Bowser alone.

A million thoughts were rushing through the king’s head. What happened to the green man that made him react to a nightmare like that? Who was the one who made him react like that? His brother better hope he wasn’t the one who did, otherwise taking him down would be more deadly than he intended. Wait a minute, why was he thinking about the plumber this way? Sure, he felt bad for him but surely not to this extent, right? However, as he imagined those eyes, how they nearly filled with tears after he complimented his cake, and the excited squeals he heard once he left the kitchen, no one ever really gave that to him before, didn’t they? He knew that from this moment on that no one else was going to take that happiness away from the plumber ever again. He would make sure of it.

.........

Luigi awoke the next morning, feeling completely drained from the night before. It was to be expected though, it happened every time when he had nightmares. He stretched and swung his feet over the side of the bed and tucked his feet into the slippers on the floor. He felt quite flattered that Kamek had went out of his way to make him pyjamas and footwear his size, even though it was mostly done with magic, he still felt flattered.

There was a knock at the door and the koopa guard that guided him to the shower rooms the other day entered the room. “King Bowser requests your presence for breakfast,” said the guard.

“Oh, did he say why?” Luigi asked, curious as to why the king wanted a prisoner to join him.

“He only informed me to take you to breakfast,” the koopa replied, “Please follow me.”

The koopa turned and walked out, Luigi following behind. The walk so far was silent, both not really knowing what to say since the king found out that the guard disobeyed him, he just hoped that Bowser wasn’t too hard on the koopa afterwards.

“S-so,” The koopa finally spoke up, “I took your advice the other day and…we both plan on sitting with each other during lunch later.”

“Really?!” a massive grin broke onto Luigi’s face, “That’s amazing!”

“I just, well, I wanted to thank you,” the koopa nervously rubbed the back of his neck, “If it wasn’t for you, I don’t think I would’ve been brave enough to ask them.”

Luigi’s steps faltered slightly before keeping back up with the guard again. He didn’t really think that his advice would help someone, all he wanted was to help someone with their own romantic plights but for someone to be happy with his help, it was a new feeling to experience on its own. “You’re welcome,” Luigi smiled, “If it’s alright, would you like to tell me your name?”

The koopa turned to him, looking up and down before finally answering, “Sam…my name is Sam.”

“It’s nice to mee you Sam,” Luigi replied, “I’m Luigi, oh wait, you already knew that.”

“Yeah, I did…we’ve arrived,” Sam stated, the two finally stopping at the dining hall. Sam opened the door for Luigi, where King Bowser and a smaller version of him were waiting, seated at the top of the table. “Enjoy your breakfast.”

“Thank you,” Luigi nodded, “Oh and one more thing!”

The koopa looked back one more time.

“Good luck with lunch later!” Luigi gave him a thumbs up.

Sam smiled a little bit, before shutting the door, leaving Luigi with the king and the small koopa that looked remarkably similar to the larger koopa. He was going to take a set at the opposite end of the table, away from the two, when the king suddenly said, “No, no, you’ll be eating beside me.”

Sit beside him? Why? Was this another interrogation? Did he want Luigi closer to him in order to scare him enough to get the information that he needed on Mario? Or maybe Kamek told him about the nightmare he had last night and wanted to punish him for it?! Great, his nightmares managed to upset the king and now he was going to get angry for him, why can’t he just deal with his nightmares like a normal person!

“Hey, Greenie, can you hear me?” Bowser’s voice broke him out of his internal rambling, “You’re gonna be sitting next to me and Junior.”

“J-Junior?” Luigi said aloud, was that the name of the smaller koopa?

“My son,” Bowser said proudly, ruffling the hair on top of the young boy’s head, “Hurry up, you’re gonna like what we have in store for you.”

Luigi nervously made his way up to the chair beside Bowser, across from Junior. Maybe it would be alright? Surely, he wouldn’t do anything brash in front of his child? As soon as he sat down the king pushed in his seat with ease, Luigi nearly blushed at the sudden closeness.

“I hope you’re hungry, cause I’ll bet that you’ve never had anything like this before!” Bowser boasted and a crowd of goombas wearing little chef hats poured into the room, while balancing trays on top of their heads before setting them down on the table.  Luigi’s mouth watered when they lifted the lids off, revealing many kinds of different breakfast foods. From pancakes to waffles, pouched to fried eggs and bacon to the many colours of fruits. There was more trays but the hunger that Luigi felt was starting to overpower him.

“Alright! I’m starving!” the young koopa cheered when the goombas left, immediately scooping up a portion of food from each tray and piling it onto his plate.

“Oh Junior, careful!” Bowser chuckled as his son started to make a mess with the butters and jams, he put on his meal, “I apologise, we were waiting for you to arrive before we could eat.”

Luigi paused for a moment and looked up towards the king, “Waiting for me? Why?”

“Well, Kamek told me about how you had trouble sleeping last night,” Bowser began to explain, sheepishly looking down at his plate, “And while I do want information about your brother, I don’t want you to feel like how you were that night. I’m not that much of a monster. So, I hoped that having breakfast with us could help you out a little bit.”

“You did this…for me?” Luigi’s heart fluttered a bit.

Bowser blushed, the little man was making those eyes again, those beautiful mesmerising eyes. He cleared his throat and smirked, leaning on his arm and he moved a bit closer to the plumber, “Yeah, why? Is it not enough for you little man?”

Luigi’s face had turned into the exact shade of a ripe tomato, covering in with his hands as he sank into his chair. “No, no its fantastic and I’m really glad that you had me in my mind while planning this!” he muffled into his hands.

“Your friend is strange Papa,” Junior stated, munching on some pancakes.

“Junior-”

“It’s fine,” Luigi uncovered his face, the heat slowly leaving his cheeks, “Yeah, I get that sometimes.”

“Oh…are you the red guy’s brother?” Junior asked, “Papa is planning on fighting him soon,”

Bowser froze. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to have Junior here, but he didn’t want his son to feel excluded from eating with him, he hardly spent enough time with him due to the war with the mushroom kingdom.

Luigi sighed, not at the boy’s question, but rather at the acknowledgement that yes, he was here for one reason and one reason only, knowledge about his brother. “Yes, I am,” Luigi nodded.

Junior seemed to have realised the error in his words, looking down at his food with guilt, “Sorry, sometimes I’m not that great with my words.”

“That’s okay,” Luigi gave the boy a reassuring smile, “I’m not good with my words either. In fact, when I was a kid, I had a really bad stutter whenever I spoke.”

“You did?” The kid looked up at him.

“Yeah, I still get it sometimes when I’m nervous but not as much as I did back then,” Luigi admitted, “But you’re pretty brave about speaking your mind, that’s something that I still struggle to do.”

“You think?!” Junior marvelled at the man’s words, his little tail wagging behind him.

“Yeah!” Luigi grinned back.

Bowser smiled at the two, it was nice that Junior was able to make a companion during all of this. Sometimes Bowser felt guilty about having his son here, instead of keeping him back home with his friends, but he didn’t want to take any risks with Junior’s safety, he never knew who could be lurking. Yet when he saw how Luigi interacted with his child, how he spoke with his son instead of down to him, nothing else filled with chest with the pride that he felt at that moment at seeing how happy the moustached man treated his boy.

“So, you plan on eating soon Greenie?” Bowser joked, interrupting the conversation.

“Oh, right, sorry,” Luigi giggled, taking a waffle and covering it with some powdered sugar before taking a bite, humming at the taste, “This is really good, thank you.”

He was making the eyes again, but this time instead of brushing it away, Bowser returned the soft look with one of his own, “You’re welcome.”

.........

A few days after the breakfast with Bowser and Junior, Luigi had formed his own little routine at the castle. He would wake up, join the king and prince for breakfast (as well as lunch and dinner), do a bit of baking with Sam as his assigned guard, if there was some plumbing to be done then he would immediately take up the job, spend a little bit of time with Junior the two of them played before Bowser joined them, maybe have a bit of quiet time, a stroll with Bowser before getting ready for bed. Though he did have those expected nightmares, Kamek immediately rushed in to help him through it until he was able to fall back to sleep.

However, there was one day when that routine was rudely interrupted. Luigi was just taking some cookies out of the oven as Sam watched, curious as to how Luigi’s delicious treats were made, until another koopa guard burst through the door of the kitchen with a worried look on his face. “The boos have gone rogue!” he shouted, “Take the prisoner and keep him in this room until they’re detained.”

Sam nodded, pushing Luigi in front of him as they made their way to his bedroom. “Wait, what’s going on?” Luigi started to panic.

“Have you ever noticed those ghosts floating round the castle sometimes?” Sam inquired.

Luigi nodded; he remembered those creatures whenever he was being led throughout the castle. He also remembered how they all looked at him with disdain, like dirt on a pair of shoes.

“Well, they only go against us if their king commands it,” Sam told him.

Luigi raised an eyebrow, “But I thought Bowser was their king.”

“Bowser’s just borrowing them, their true leader is King Boo. I’m not sure why he’s doing this, but we need to keep this place on lockdown until we’re able to handle the situation,” Sam responded, finally reaching Luigi’s room and led the man inside, “Wait here until I get back.”

Sam shut the door behind him, leaving Luigi alone. His stomach churned while his hands kept making fists, in order to help calm the rise of anxiety building within him. He was going to lay and try the breathing exercises that Kamek taught him when he heard a scream from outside. Rushing to the window, he saw Junior running from a group of boos, taunting the poor child.

“Look at how pathetic he is!”

“He knows that he’s just an unlovable bastard!”

“It’s a good thing his parents are dead, who would want a miserable sack of shit like this!”

If Luigi was able to recognize anything, it was a bully. He knows the types of targets they go for, small, scared, weak. That was how he always found himself being chased by those who saw those traits in him, and now, those boos could see in the child that they were harassing. He couldn’t stand up for himself back then, but here, now, he could try for Junior.

He knew that the window was locked (he tried to open it before, but it wouldn’t budge) so taking a chair next to a vanity and threw it towards the window. Glass shattered into millions of little pieces, spraying across the floor. Luigi looked over the edge, trying to estimate how to get down. Thinking quickly, he pulled off the curtains and grabbed the bedsheets, tying the together into a makeshift rope and tied one end to the leg of his bed. He grabbed a wrench from his tool bag, sliding it into his overalls and carefully scaled down the hot wall, mindful of the lava pouring next to him.

Finally, he reached the ground, scanning the area until he found the young koopa trying to back away from the boos.

Luigi began running, running faster than he ever did in his life, faster than he did when he ran away from Wario and Waluigi. His only focus was helping that young boy and though he felt nothing but dread every time he saw those boos, Junior’s safety was his top priority.

As soon he reached them, he raised the wrench and slammed it against one of the ghosts, knocking it off balance and sending it flying backwards. Taking the opportunity while he had it, Luigi picked up Junior, placing him on his hip before running away again. He only got a few feet before the boos stopped him in his tracks. Luigi counted four as they circled around him and Junior, his protective grip tightened on the boy as he held his wrench out in front of him. “S-stay back!”

“Aww, look here fellas!” one of the boos jeered, “Little Bowser Junior’s found himself a little bodyguard!”

A second boo cackled, “He looks like someone picked a twig out of the woods!”

Luigi gulped, he would not let those words get to him, not when Junior needed him. “G-go a-away!” he yelled, “I-I’m n-not a-afraid o-of y-you!”

“W-w-what w-was t-that?” The third boo imitated the man’s stutter, “I c-couldn’t h-hear t-that!”

The fourth boo roared with laughter, the other three joining in. Luigi didn’t know if this was confidence or cowardice, but he lifted his wrench again and slammed it against the third boo’s face. “G-get o-out o-of m-my w-way!”

All four boos eyes darkened, creeping closer towards the man and koopa.” You shouldn’t have done that,” the first boo growled.

Luigi placed Junior down behind him, “R-run J-Junior, g-go f-find y-your d-ad!”

“What about you?” Junior wailed, his legs shaking.

Luigi heart panged for the poor boy, “D-don’t w-worry a-about-t m-me, j-just-t r-run!”

Junior glanced to the boos, then back to Luigi and nodded, turning on his heel and running as fast as he could towards the castle. The boos attempted to follow Junior again, but Luigi hit them with his wrench again. “L-leave h-him-m o-out o-of-f t-this!”

“Oh, is that how you wanna play then?” the second boo cooed, sarcasm dripping from its done, “Fine, you’re all ours,”

The next thing he knew, his wrench out slapped out of his hand. His raised his fist in an attempt to defend himself, but the boos knocked him to the ground before a could get a hit in, his head hitting a rock behind him. His head started pounding, and he could feel something warm dripping from his hair.

The boys started their attack, kicking him in the stomach, punching him repeatedly, screaming in his face. It kept going on and on to the point Luigi could feel it all blending together.

Punch

Kick

Crack!

“Mama!”

Punch

Kick

“Papa!”

Crack!

The rubble falling on top of him.

Punch

He couldn’t move.

Kick

Crack!

“Someone like you was born to take a beating.”

Punch

Kick

“Every second of your existence made my life a fucking hell!”

Crack!

“She didn’t deserve to die that night! It should’ve been you! Why wasn’t it you?!”

“GET AWAY FROM HIM!”

A roar pierced through the air, making the boos stop. Luigi couldn’t open his eyes, two swollen from the boos attacks and his ears were ringing a bit. What he did hear were the cries of the boos, loud thuds the something warm, like fire. The cries of the boos stopped, then the thuds were coming towards him, and a warm hand cupped the back of his head.

“Luigi, can you hear me?”

He was getting quite tired.

“Talk to me Luigi, please!”

Surely, he could close his eyes for a bit.

“Luigi, try to focus on me!”

Yeah, just for a bit.

“Luigi!”

.

.

.

Bowser nearly tore up the place when he saw that his son was missing, if anyone was going to touch one hair on his head, he was going to tear them apart. The relief he felt when he saw his son run to him was unlike anything he ever felt before, but panic rose again when he saw his son crying, and when asked all he could manage to say between tears was, “Luigi…boos...help!”

He kept him with Kamek, took a few guard with him and stormed out of the castle. His stomach sank when he saw Luigi, bleeding and helpless to the boos attack.

All he could see was red, he could barely remember what he did to the boos, only that whatever he did made them cower in front of the koopa king.

Once they were taken away, Bowser immediately ran towards the bleeding man, begging for him to hang on as he slipped in unconsciousness, before carrying him back into the castle.

Kamek and Junior gasped when they saw Luigi, Junior had burst into tears again while Kamek waved his wand and transported them into Bowser’s chambers. Kamek had recommended Bowser to take Junior, help him calm down while he focused on healing Luigi. While Bowser was hesitant with leaving him there, he knew Kamek was right, he wouldn’t be able to help Luigi enough if the room as too crowed and Junior desperately needed comfort.

He scooped up his son and walked out the room, sparing one last glance at the injured plumber before Kamek shut the door.

Bowser carried Junior to his room, cradling him and humming lullabies to him until the child had cried himself to sleep. He stayed with him for a few more minutes, then wrapped his blanket around him and tucked him into bed. He quietly closed the door behind him and made his way back to his own chambers.

Once he entered, Luigi was covered in bandages, from his head to his arms and across his chest, his eyes were swollen shut and bruised, his lip split and his chest was heaving heavily with laboured breath. “I did the most I could with my magic,” Kamek informed Bowser, “What he needs now is rest and for his own strength to help heal the rest of him.”

“Thank you Kamek,” Bowser whispered, not wanting to wake Luigi, “I can take it from here.”

“Are you sure?” Kamek asked, “I’m happy to stay and watch him, go get some rest my king.”

“No, its fine,” Bowser told him, “If his brother’s coming for him, it’s my responsibility to keep Greenie here in one piece.”

Kamek hummed, analysing the king for a moment, “Alright, just make sure to inform me if he’s getting worse.”

“Will do Kamek,” Bowser nodded.

When Kamek left the room, Bowser circled round the bed and gently climbed onto the other side, laying down gently next to Luigi and curled his tail around him. “I’m sorry,” he sighed, placing on of his fingers atop of the man’s small hand, “This wasn’t supposed to happen.”

Bowser took comfort in the fact that the man was still breathing, he listened to the soft breaths and let them lull him to sleep, hopefully in the morning the man’s health would progress a little bit.

.

.

.

Luigi stirred a little bit, his head pounding when he tried to open his eyes and his limbs were screaming in agony. His eyes scanned the room he as in, the small differences within it making him wonder if he wasn’t in his room anymore, it was confirmed when his eyes landed on the king laying next to him, snoring softly. He couldn’t move, not only due to his bruised body but at the fact that he was in the king’s room, sleeping in the king’s bed and was right next to him in close proximity.

He was about to open his mouth to speak when…

Crack!

No…no, no, no, no, no, please don’t let this happen right now!

Boom!

He turned his eyes towards the window and sure enough, there was a storm right outside.

Crack!

Please no, he can’t do this, not right now!

Boom!

He was in the rubble again, he wanted to scream for Mario, Mario, where’s Mario! He wanted to get out, please help him get out, he couldn’t breathe! It hurts, it hurts so much please help!

“Breathe Luigi,”

He felt his upper body being lifted and placed against some pillows in a seated position.

He just wanted to move, to see if his Mama and Papa were okay!

A large hand encased his own, “Breath in two, three, four and out two, three, four.”

Let him breathe! Let him breathe! Let him…

“In two, three, four and out, two, three, four.”

He did was the voice told him, his breathing, while shaking, was trying to copy the voice’s.

“You’re doing great, just keep going,” said the voice again, deep, commanding yet so gentle.

Luigi’s vision came back into focus, a noticed that a lamp was turned on, he was in the king’s room and was still next to Bowser as well. It was still storming outside, he hated storms, he hated thinking about-

Crack!

Luigi yelped, trembling from head to toe.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” the voice murmured softly, stroking the man’s hands, “I’m here, it’s okay, I’m right here.”

He looked up…Bowser. Bowser helped him out of that panic attack, he was being so patient, especially with the one thing that Luigi hated most. Tears welled up in his eyes, how could someone be so kind, so comforting, so-

Boom!

Luigi jumped again, this time, Bowser had wrapped him up into a hug, a safe warm hug. The damns broke and Luigi let out the ugliest sobs he ever made in his life, tears no doubt were staining his face and was making a mess. But the king wasn’t put off by it, instead, he pulled Luigi in tighter.

“I’ve got you, don’t worry,” the king rocked him, “Give your pain to me, I can handle it.”

Luigi let out another cry at his words, weeping for what seemed to be hours, yet the king never loosened his protective hold, both of them falling asleep in each other’s arms.

.........

Two weeks had passed since then, Bowser had let Luigi heal in his chambers, even after Luigi said that he could go back into his room when his window was replaced (despite not really wanting to internally.) But the king had insisted, saying that he wanted to make up for what happened to him. And so, the king helped him with his meals if his arms were a bit too weak, he listened as Luigi gushed about baking and his other hobbies (he learnt that the plumber also liked to do some gardening in his spare time), he would let Junior see him, the child apologizing profusely and Luigi telling him that he didn’t need to before the two would start coloring together, Bowser watching with fondness, and with everything else the two of them would just talk about anything and fall asleep together cuddled up on the same bed.

Soon, Luigi found the strength to walk again, and Bowser had suggested that the two take a stroll together, to help Luigi get used to his legs again. They were just strolling past the gardens, Luigi letting his fingers graze the flowers and he mumbled about each type that he saw. All of a sudden, he stopped in his tracks, making Bowser worry a bit. Was he still sore? Did he need to rest for a minute?

“I wanted to thank you for all that you did for me,” Luigi nervously gripped his wrist with his left hand, “You’ve treated me with nothing but kindness for these past few days, more than anyone ever did in my entire life.”

“Well, you deserve it,” Bowser grinned, “You’re kind to my people, Junior and Kamek adore you and you’re all around an amazing person. I hope that you can see that yourself one day.”

Luigi blushed, taking a few more steps towards the king and looked up at the king.

He was looking at him with those eyes again, only this time there was something a bit deeper, something that made Bowser’s insides turn into goo. He placed Luigi into his arms, the man gasping a little as he stared at the king. Bowser’s eyes flickered to Luigi’s lips, his eyes, then his lips again. Luigi leaned in with Bowser meeting him halfway as their lips were gently pressed together. Bowser lifted his other hand to cup Luigi’s cheek as their kiss deepened a little bit more.

They pulled away, their hearts beating loudly as they shared a giggle together.

“No one’s ever kissed me like that before,” Luigi admitted.

“Their loss,” Bowser tucked a brown lock of hair out of Luigi’s face, “They have no idea what they’re missing.”

Luigi squirmed slightly, making Bowser chuckled as he leaned in for another kiss. Luigi was about to do the same when a moment of clarity hit him and pressed his fingers against Bowser’s lips. “Wait!”

Bowser froze, his eyes inspecting Luigi for any damage, “What happened, are you okay?!”

“I’m fine it’s just…” Luigi sighed, fidgeting with his fingers, “You still want to rule the world, don’t you?”

Realisation dawned on Bowser, letting out a sad grumble as he looked away from Luigi, “Yes.”

“And you’re still after my brother, aren’t you?” Luigi asked.

Bowser nodded numbly as he placed Luigi onto the ground.

“I wish we could have this,” Luigi reassured him, “I wish that we could hold each other, bake together, have fun with Junior, sleep in the same bed, share kisses…love each other. But if there’s one thing I can’t do, it’s betray Mario. Ever since I’ve been here, you and everyone else here have been helping me realise that I have more worth than I could ever possibly think that I would have. But although I’m starting to see it now, Mario was the first one who truly saw me for me, I just never fully believed him until now. So as much as I want this, I am never, ever going against my brother, I can’t do that…I’m sorry.”

Bowser let his head drop, of course it wasn’t going to be that simple, but it wasn’t Luigi’s fault, it would never be Luigi’s fault. He suddenly found himself wishing that he didn’t start this war, he wished that he didn’t desire the stars to complete his mission, he wished that he met Luigi within another context that didn’t force him to choose.

Bowser didn’t want to become someone else that was going to hurt Luigi…and he wouldn’t. “I’m going to have my guards drop you near the borders of the mushroom kingdom. Mario will be there.”

“W-what?” Luigi gasped, his head snapping up, the force of it making it ache a little bit.

“I shouldn’t have kept you hear longer than I did,” Bowser admitted, “I won’t make you choose between your brother or me, and I certainly won’t keep you here against your own will. I want you to love me, selflessly and unconditionally, without feeling guilty for it, and I know you can’t do it like this. Sam will take you to the border, tell one of the residents of the kingdom that you’re a brother of Mario, surely, they’ll take you to him.”

Luigi’s breath hitched…he was free, he was going to see Mario again, he…he was going to leave Bowser. He felt conflicted, he loved Bowser, but he also knew he was right, if they wanted to love each other, it couldn’t be like this. “And you won’t follow me?”

“I don’t plan on breaking your trust any time soon,” Bowser told him, taking Luigi’s hand into his own, “You deserve to put your faith into someone without them tearing it apart, I won’t do that to you, not now, not ever.” He kissed the top of Luigi’s hand and pressed his forehead against his.

“I will never forget you,” said Luigi.

“Neither will I,” Bowser agreed. They stayed like that for a few more second before pulling away.

They held hands as Bowser led him into the throne room, Sam waiting with some more guards. Bowser gave the koopa his instructions, the guard seeming dazzled for a moment before saluting his king. A bag with essentials for his journey was then given to Luigi from Kamek, as well as a drawing from Junior that featured the child, Luigi and Bowser, with messing handwriting at the bottom of the page saying.

‘My Family’

Luigi let a tear slip from his eye, wiping it away and he gave everyone a final goodbye, sharing one more glance with Bowser before making his way with Sam for his journey to the mushroom kingdom.

As soon as the heard the castle doors slam shut, Bowser turned his head away, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to prevent tears from leaking out. He felt Kamek’s hand on his arm and looked down at him.

“For what it’s worth your majesty,” he started, “I have never been more proud of you in this moment.”

Bowser smiled and looked back to where Luigi once stood. Maybe one day, once this battle was over, he could see him again. He didn’t care if he would win or lose, as long as he got to see those eyes again, that mattered to him more than anything.

#tw: panic attack #tw: flashbacks #tw: childhood trauma #bowuigi #super mario bros #mario bros #mario movie #hurt/comfort #luigi #bowser #bowser junior #kamek #random koopa oc #my writing #fanfic #fanfiction #luigi brain rot

[jessepinwheel]

🕯️🍉🌈

hi sorry for taking so long to respond to these asks I hate using the new tumblr interface

🕯️was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn't think it would take you?

I think of all my fics, probably the one that went most off the rails from my original intention was probably dielectric breakdown. I think I've said this before, but initially it was meant to be more of a story about how obi-wan left and everyone realizes they'd taken him for granted, and to that end it was meant to be more of a multi-POV affair centering on obi-wan who was no longer there

but then I wrote the first few sections from cody's pov and I was like, fuck it, I'm just gonna do cody all the way through now. this is cody's story now. so that's kind of how it pivoted towards cody character study and all the other things going on with the clones, because dammit the clones deserve to have their own culture and endings that aren't just stapled to mandalorians

🍉in what ways has writing helped you process trauma and/or navigate through your own life?

idk man I just write fun stories on the internet where fucked up things happen to people because that's what I like doing. I guess it's kind of organizational because I spend a good amount of time articulating things that I think about in my stories but that's really about it

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

I mean to be clear I work really hard on all my stories. my plots are really tightly written and organized and that's not accidental, that's a lot of work behind the black (and a lot of pages in my notebook). but also...when I'm done writing a story I'm not really thinking about that so much anymore. I honestly don't feel like any of my stories are especially more difficult to write than any of the others, some of them are just more work. if you break it down into small enough steps it's all about the same difficulty.

of the stories I've published, I guess asynchronous circuit and runner are probably the ones I've had to do the most work on, just because of the intricacy of the plot and the different moving parts. but also, like. I wrote most of asynchronous circuit in about two months and the writing felt fairly straightforward.

I don't know. I don't really find writing stories difficult. it just sometimes takes more time and work.

send me fic writer asks

#ask jesse

[angstintensifer]

Some wolf family and Twyleen incorrect quotes for y’all and my heart 💞

Twyla: Valentine’s Day is a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than driving people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

Howleen: I wrote you a poem.

Twyla, already crying: you did?

***

Howleen: Good morning. As you begin your day, remember that violence is always an option and often the answer.

Twyla :

Howleen:

Twyla : ...Please, go back to bed.

***

Twyla : I need a long word.

Howleen: T-rex but the long one.

***

Twyla: Why are you on the floor?

Howleen: I'm depressed.

Howleen: Also I was stabbed, can you get Clawdeen, please.

***

Twyla : How would you like your coffee?

Howleen: As dark as my soul.

Twyla : Got it, one cup of milk coming right up!

***

Twyla : You use humor to deflect your trauma.

Howleen: Awww, thanks-

Twyla : That’s not a good thing.

Howleen: All I’m hearing is that you think I’m funny.

***

Howleen: I want to kiss you.

Twyla , not paying attention: What?

Howleen: I said if you die, I wont miss you.

Twyla, hearing exactly what she said: I won't miss you either

***

Twyla : Damn, the power went out.

Howleen: Don’t worry, I got this.

Howleen: *stomps foot*

Twyla : What-?

Howleen: *Sketchers light up*

Twyla: babe, why are you like this?

***

Howleen: Twyla , do you love me?

Twyla : Of course I do.

Howleen: Would you still love me if I did something bad?

Twyla : Well, of course I… would…

Howleen: I mean something really, really—

Twyla : Howleen, what did you do?

***

Clawdeen: I know you snuck out last night, Howleen.

Twyla: Play dumb!

Howleen: Who's Howleen?

Twyla: NOT THAT DUMB!!!

***

Howleen: *Screams*

Clawdeen : *Screams louder to assert dominance*

Clawdia: Should we do something?!

Clawd, observing: No, I want to see who wins this.

***

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.

Clawdeen: Shit.

Clawdia: Wait, three?

Cop: Yeah?

Clawd: OH MY GHOUL HOWLEEN FELL OFF!!!

***

Clawdia: You know those things will kill you, right?

Clawdeen, pouring another glass of whiskey: That’s the point.

Clawd, smoking a cigarette: We’re trying to speed up the process.

Howleen: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*

***

Clawdia, about Howleen: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the group.

Clawd: Are we stealing them?

Clawdeen: New or used?

Clawdia: Wonderful responses, both of you.

***

Clawdeen: Dammit, Clawd!

Clawd: What?! It wasn’t me!

Clawdeen: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Clawdia!

Clawdia: Not me either.

Clawdeen: Oh...Then who set the house on fire?

Howleen: *whistles*

#monster high #clawdeen wolf #clawd wolf #howleen wolf #twyla #howleen x twyla #twyleen #clawdia wolf #the wolf family monster high #cuties #Clawdeen and Howleen #they’re mh bbys lads #monster high incorrect quotes #yes that first one is from the cleuce one #BUT I LOVE IT AND IT WORKS FOR TWYLEEN TOO #source: incorrect quotes generator

[deathsweetblossoms]

Alright, dammit, Jessa Hastings got me with Magnolia Parks 3: Into the Dark.

The character growth. The commentary on mortality and psychology. The therapy sessions. The love between BJ and Magnolia. The processing of grief and trauma together.

I wish I had read this the week after my grandma died and I got dumped (because the boyfriend BJ turns into is actually the boyfriend I needed at the time; but it’s okay because I found Rhys during that time instead), but I couldn’t have made it through the first book anyway because *it is toxic as hell*. I really wish she had written the first book moreso in the style of Happy Place or Love & Other Words.

That being said, I really grew attached to these characters and this story, and I’m surprised by it. Book 1 does not reflect well on the series, but it reflects on the type of author Jessa Hastings is, I suppose. Just from peeking into her other work (Daisy Haites & the Peter Pan remake with awful reviews), she likes the toxic dynamics and the hyped up angst.

Would I recommend this series? To be honest, I don’t know. I’m not sure that I would because you really have to go into it prepared; check the trigger warnings. It’s high on ED, cheating, death of a family member, drug use, depression, etc. I think you have to avert your eyes to a LOT of things to put up with any of the characters because the “found family” friendship group is actually terrible in the first book. Unfortunately, the first book is a Sisphyean hell to get through where nobody learns or communicates and everyone is disgusting. I would argue that it’s just too much, which is why I don’t recommend it, but I had a feeling I needed to read it (sometimes I get these feelings that draw me to specific books and I usually have some profound healing or learning from it) and I’m glad I pushed through.

#magnolia parks #this is a pointless post but idk who else to talk to about it

[jakekiszkasleftnutsack]

Pain Without A Place To Go

A Jake Kiszka blurb

۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵

Warnings: angst, depictions of emotional trauma

W/c: 560

A/n: I tried my hand at writing some angst to process some feelings and ended up with this. It’s totally unedited so let me know if you’d like to see this as a fully fleshed out story. If not, that’s too bad cause I already have an idea.

۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵

Jake is the kind of person that won’t stop until he gets what he wants. He’s determined, ambitious, to a fault even. I’ve seen too many people get hurt by his hand, too many questionable decisions that were made, too many lives put at risk in pursuit of the things he wants. All in the name of a better future for us, so he says, but I know better now than to question him after all we’ve been through.

“Look at me dammit!” He grabs your jaw jerking it in his direction, forcing your tired glossy eyes to meet his hollow ones. Your silent tears flow over his fingers now that he’s obstructed their path.

That being said, Jake would never hurt me. Ever. He once told me he’d burn down the world for me. I think that could be romantic if it wasn’t so realistic. I’m no stranger to the way he conducts business, I’ve gotten my hands dirty a few times, and he always makes sure I’m good and taken care of. Still, I know it’s been eating him on the inside to have to leave something this big to me, but even though it's out of his control he has to have his way.

“Please, I love you so much.. please.” He moves his grip on your face to your shoulders and rests his forehead against yours, bringing himself closer still.

Jake never begs for anything, not from anyone. Not until he begged me to clean up his mess. If I could, I’d rip my heart out and serve it to him on a platter to keep in a little locked box to have always. The proverbial key hangs around his neck anyway, regardless of where my heart lives. He didn’t need to beg. I know what rides on this for him, but he knows how it will break me.

“I’ll fix it.”

He nods against you, and smiles a weak sad smile, accepting your answer for what it is. The best you can do. There is no better answer, not in this case, just a vague promise that you’ll take care of it exactly as he would.

In exchange for his love I’ve given him everything.

۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵

The words hit you like a bus. Like a fifty pound weight was just dropped on your chest. Every ounce of willpower you can summon works its hardest to keep your emotions at bay.

Control yourself.

I can handle this. It’s fine, I knew this was a possibility, I prepared for it.

I’m not weak.

And you’re not. Weak, that is. There was a time in your life when all you knew was numbness, during those times you hoped and prayed to anything that would listen for it to end, to feel something again, anything. Now, as your veins turn to rivers of ice and broken glass you want nothing more than to return to that unfeeling place of nothingness.

The doctor continues to speak nothing but white noise falling on deaf ears. She could be not speaking at all, it’s irrelevant that she’s even present because you can’t hear her over your own wail. You didn’t expect it but it’s here, echoing past your lips like a tortured sirens song, forced from your lungs mixed with white hot tears by an unseen puppet master. You wail over and over, taking stabbing breath after stabbing breath until you’re utterly depleted, your volume lapsing, sobbing, gasping. Filling the four walls with pain. Pain without a place to go.

۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵♡۵

thank you for reading

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[cult-of-dollbabies]

Alright here's some thoughts on s2 ep5, spoiler warning

I had to rewatch/skim through it this morning bc the fight scene gave me such secondhand embarrassment that it literally fucked up my processing and the whole time I was like 😀 is this real.

Watching it again was fine but dear god the puppetry.. Anywho, the moments with Lexi and Nadine were my favorite by far, Nadine drawing a relation to assure Lexi she's safe to come to,, "you know how moms are, they do their best to make you happy, right?" And this is what made Lexi come out, she knows some things about neglectful mothers, and losing a parent, I think that in a way she wanted to be there for Nadine, too. They're there for each other despite hardly knowing one another, and yes Lexi seems to still have bully tendencies but I think Nadine will influence her development in being better, and especially her recovery. Nadine lightening the mood, helping her collect the pills and flush them was so tender and a huge step, if I'm being honest I shed a few tears, I love them sm (also Nadine autism real)

Love how hard it is to tell if Scout (or good chucky.. since thats rlly the name theyre settled on) is faking or not. Hes raised some red flags, he still has impeccable aim w/ blades, saying sum creepy shit in a suspiciously childlike manner, (i know this is the same as the last ep but this time it almost feels emphatic) Chucky is known for his manipulation and hiding in plain sight tactics, if it turns out it was all an act, can't say I'd be too surprised, "like I finally figured out what I'm for" was actually quite eery.

...that being said I am NOT immune to chucky manipulation this was fucking CUTE

Cant wait for Father Bryce to die, sister Catherine's the only one with sense clearly, that's all I have to say about that

I'm on Devon and lexis side but on the other hand I don't think Chucky could even pretend to be nice, let alone admit to finding god or something behind a closed door ( I fuckin lost it when he held the Bible up, ain't no way, and where'd he pull that from??) and also be willing to get baptized , personally i don't think hes faking but more like the brainwashing is wearing off.. like a ticking time bomb. I thought Jake baptizing him was strange at first but watching again it feels like he was only trying to help Scout feel better, like with a child, and we all know by now Jake is attached and using him to cope with losing his foster brother, (another scout-might-be-faking-and-manipulating-jake bit, the joker line) it's understandable, but dammit Jake please stop disregarding your boyfriends very real concerns! And Nadine definitely doesn't know what Chuckys capable of, yet, but I feel like she'll find out very soon.

the series feels more shocking than scary, and some of the humor between serious parts just feels too silly for me, I want to take it seriously but I can't

...now. About the end, boy oh boy, this is where I'm sour

Seen and had a couple ideas for who the hell Cornell was and its.. bald.. Russian chucky? Tf is that? I think they were trying to do a twist but it's .. so underwhelming. And as if he hasn't been through enough we come to find Andy's been.. getting tortured, for what we can assume to be a year, hes gotta be so broken, he doesn't know Kyle's alive, either. That is.. it's such a letdown, I'm so tired of seeing Andy be tormented, I'm not watching this to get sad, I prefer the theory that he was maiming those chuckys, at least that way he'd have some kind of payback and not another year worth of trauma. Im assuming Kyle, Glenda and Nica will try to find him and it cant happen soon enough. I actually lost sleep over this.. I'm serious, not in a fear or disturbed way either in a for the love of god just let him be happy for more than five seconds please kinda way :(

Hopefully it gets better, now I just want to see Andy be saved, not very ready to see the state he's in though..

#ill make other posts but writing this took me all. day. #chucky series #chucky spoilers #as always id love to hear you guys thoughts

[darkkitty1208]

Thinking about what it would be like if Stephen meets Shuri. Wakanda Forever spoilers ahead.

I mean, they both share the trauma of losing siblings (like most in the MCU are lmao). To make it even better, (or worse. Depends on your definition of better and worse XD) there's also the fact that Ramonda died drowning like Donna did, too... As always I thought of scenarios and now I can't stop thinking about what it'd be like if they had a heart-to-heart and bonded through their grief.

What if one day an interdimensional attack happened in Wakanda and the sorcerers insisted to help as they were more experienced in dealing with the sort? Shuri doesn't strike me as the type to easily trust someone after what she's been through, so I guess it would make sense if she would refuse at first. Stephen could somehow convince her, or maybe Okoye would, or both of them. Point is, she would give in at the end and accept their offer.

Talokans could be involved but their presence doesn't change the whole idea. Although I think it will be inevitable anyway as the battle, in my imagination, will be in a body of water or wherever in Wakanda where water is present. You can sort of see where I'm going with this *wiggles eyesbrows*.

Stephen could bond with Shuri through their planning stage of the battle. Maybe he thinks that Shuri is incredibly talented for someone her age and grows respect for her. Shuri in turn sees a reflection of T'challa in Stephen at some point. Don't get me wrong, Stephen and T'challa are both incredibly different and complex characters, but what reminds you most of your sibling if not playful banter?

Okay. So then when the time comes, the creature breaches through the water, their defenses are up and everyone knows what they're doing. Everything goes according to plan for while, before at some point Shuri fell into the water, preferably injured or something so that she is mostly incapable of swimming back up, but before Namor or any of the other Talokans could save her, Stephen panics, drops whatever he was dealing with, and immediately dives in to save her.

He would mutter something like 'Oh god, Donna, you're safe, you're okay' in a small, panicked voice when he brings Shuri back to land, and Shuri would be conscious enough to half-hear it, half-process it, but is probably too busy trying to get her breath back to ask.

When the battle ends and the creature's successfully banished back to its realm, what's left is to fix the collateral damage and heal the wounded.

Shuri approaches Stephen as he tends to his own injuries, formally thanking him and the sorcerers for assisting them and help protect her people, and then just takes a moment to converse with him or something. At some point she brings up 'Donna', and something about her, something about that moment, just makes Stephen feel like it's safe to share to her about that. Maybe it's because he knew she wouldn't respond with pity but, in turn, with understanding. Maybe it's because of the tiredness after the battle that makes him feel more vulnerable. Maybe it's because he sees Donna in her, too.

So Stephen tells her about Donna, maybe even about Victor too. Shuri just looks at him for a moment and then asks him to come with her, and then bring him to the lake where she and her mother had sat that night in front of the fire.

Since burning funeral garments is out of the question here, she could just tell him to sit down and reminisce his time with his sibling(s). She could share about her own experience in grieving over her mother and brother, and Stephen would respond in kind -- with understanding.

So yeah. I think I sort of got carried away with the scenario a bit too much. XD Now that I think about it, MCU!Stephen lost Donna when she fell into ice, dammit, but ugh. Too late for that thought now.

#thank you for coming to my ridiculous ted talk #long post #this is just for fun and i likely wouldnt write it #doesnt mean nobody could! so feel free to use the idea if anyone wants to. although it is an admittedly shitty one so probably nobody would #i think id be delighted if anyone did though #prompt #mcu prompt #black panther #doctor strange #stephen strange #shuri #mcu shuri #kitty makes up scenarios #wakanda forever spoilers #wakanda forever

[bdigfreakingwooper]

69. what’s one secret they don’t want getting out?

17. they’re crying—what did it take to make them cry?

48. do they relate to anyone in their group? conversely, which person do they relate to the least?

Just Aaron now bc I know his answers for them

69. Probably that he was complicit in covering up a murder of an innocent man. Not exactly a great debut for an upcoming superman wannabe.

17. He's thought about the fact that due to their difference in lifespans, his friends are almost guaranteed to go on without him. Either that, or his ice cream just fell on the floor right after he bought it.

48. Oddly enough, I think Aaron relates to Hope the most. Both of them put on a persona to perform with confidence, both of them have experienced leaving a family member behind despite misgivings. Plus, there's the wings.

As for the least... I came to Malina just by process of elimination; he's been getting closer to Kai. But then I realized there were more reasons. Being a rich girl rather than a street kid for one. For two, who thinks "wipe your own memories" is a good response to trauma? And three, let the guy have his drinks dammit.

I think my last ask got eaten? Or maybe it was accidently sent privately or something, its not in my queue or inbox or drafts.

#ask game #askmeanything #askgame tag #ask meme #answered #response #my asks

[peekingpursuit]

A glance of who I was, 8 years ago.

You know that hot feeling you get in your core when you miss something or someone so badly? And your heart starts to race, memories flood in, and your arms ache to just hold and be held by them?

I've never experienced such feelings towards myself and towards my life in the past. It is really something to process. But then again, I haven't allowed myself to look back for fear of want.

Through trauma, abuse, heartache, addiction, loss, love, more loss, and finally....growth. I just blocked out everything in my past that brought me ANY type of feeling because I KNEW I would've run back to it all, with no certainty of that life embracing me in return. I ran from cherished friends, shyed away from memories spent under the sun with someone I would've gone all in for, I began to disassociate myself with the abuse my brothers and I suffered, and God dammit, I CLUNG to the ideation that I was fine, it happens to everyone, and I needed to live my "best life". Lol. But what else was I meant to do? I had no tools in my emotional toolbox to handle what life was for me during those years. So I ran.

Now though..I've kicked addictions ass, lost both of my parents who were the primary abusers in my childhood and adolescent life, broken ties with one brother, and miss the other who finds solace in the mountains and cliffs far away.

I've ran and hid for so long, I forgot what it felt like to FEEL at all. I've settled for a life and love where I have to beg to be touched, while the inner freak in me screams to be let out. Lol. I eat because of emptiness in me, and gradually have come to gate my body. And what's crazy, I used to hate my body back then also, I never saw me for me because I was so busy trying to appear normal and fine, and naively poured what remained in my cup into hearts of boys and men who saw me and wanted me. So I gave it all.

I want to be adored, seduced, roughed up before the come down and connection afterwards. I want to feel wonder again, with the earth and my surroundings, I want to know I'm worthy of being given everything I've begged for, without even asking.

I want to continue getting older and get back to the version of me that absorbed poetry for sustenance, soaked in rays of light for recharge, and gave without hesitancy from my much more full cup.

I want to be loved like I was 10-12 years ago and love life the way my soul aches to.