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snailsagere · 3 months

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Please read my dni in my bio before interacting

I made a computer games to play when regressed so here's phone games to play when regressed!

Phone games to play when regressed!

All of these games are free unless stated otherwise and I will give content warnings if needed! If I miss anything and you think I should include it then feel free to tell me!

🌸= personal favourites

Monster girl maker 1 and 2

Description- it's a cute dress up game where you design monster girls, it's really really cute!

CW- I think it's got some medically stuff and general stuff that may be scary

My little pony pocket ponies

Description- it's a game where you get through enemies using the mlp characters it's quite tricky so I recommend this more for anyone who regresses to older ages but it's still really fun!

CW- none :3

🌸My little pony colour by magic

Description- it's a colour by number game where you colour in scenes and decorate a friendship museum!

CW- none :3

🌸My little pony magic princess

Description- you rebuild equestria and complete quests as well as little in game competitions!

CW- none :3

🌸My little pony celebration

Description- you celebrate loads of different parties hosted by the my little pony characters!

CW- none :3

Toca world

Description- pretty much like a doll house but on your phone, make characters, make them a house and explore the world etc, there are also dlc's you can pay for which add stuff like new locations etc

CW- none :3

Toca hair salon 3

Description- this is a paid game where you cut and style different people's hair!

CW- cartoon scissors, hair cutting equipment etc

🌸Hello kitty around the world

Description- you travel to different countries as hello kitty, learn facts about them and where they are in world! you also earn traditional outfits and food to dress hello kitty and feed her!

CW- none! :3

Hello kitty educational games

Description- play a variety of different games to earn outfits and furniture for hello kitty!

CW- none! :3

🌸Hello kitty fashion star

Description- dress up girls in sanrio clothes!

CW- none! :3

Hello kitty cafe

Description- own a cafe! And play as sanrio characters! This games a bit tricky so I recommend it for older kids! Aswell as that there used to be in app purchases to make it easier but they do not work anymore so keep that in mind!

CW- none! :3

Hello kitty goodnight

Description- you play little mini games to get the hello kitty family to sleep!

CW- none! :3

🌸Littlest pet shop your world

Description- play loads and loads of littlest pet shop mini games and if you have the lps with the rubbery heads you can even scan them into the game!

CW- none! (I haven't played every mini game but it seems fine)

Cats and soup

Description- this is a clicky game where you unlock cats for them to make soup

CW- drawings of cartoony knives (to cut veggies)

Bunnybuns

Description- you play as a bunny making food for customers based on hints they give you

CW- none (I don't remember if they use kitchen equipment but I think they don't, not certain though!)

My talking Angela 2

Description- look after a cat called angela, play mini games etc

CW- none! :3

🌸Virtual families 3

Description- I grew up play virtual families 2!this is the same premise we're you look after a family on your phone!

CW- none! :3

Tsuki odyssey

Description- similar to tsuki adventure but now you're in a new location, you can fish, buy things, decorate your house and see what tsuki gets up to

CW- I think burglary is mentioned at the start

Cats are cute

Description- expand a town of cats, pet them, feed them and play with them!

CW- none! :3

Adorable home

Description- play as a couple and adopt loads and loads of cats, look after them and decorate and expand your house!

CW- none! :3

Any papa's game

Description- cook food for customers! All the papa's games are paid for but they're only £1-£3! My personal recommendation is papa's pancakeria!

CW- some of the games have knives in them

🌸Pokemon playhouse

Description- you collect pokemon and play cute mini games with them! This is a good game for little kids who like pokemon!

CW- none! :3

Pokemon smile

Description- brush your teeth to catch pokemon!

CW- none! :3

Pokemon go

Description- walk around outside and catch pokemon! Definitely recommend doing this when it's less cold hehe

CW- none! :3

Pokemon cafe

Description- a match three gand where you make food and drinks fir pokemon customers!

CW- cartoony knife+kitchen equipment maybe

🌸Egg!

Description- raise eggs until they hatch into cute creatures! I loved this game when I was little

CW- none! :3

🌸My school-learning game

Description- be a teacher in a school and teach characters basic maths and English (it has a few different language options depending on where you're from) you can unlock things but you have to pay for them but what is free is fun

CW- none! :3

Colouring games

Description- colour in pictures!

CW- none! :3

🌸Jungle floof

Description- raise jungle animals and play mini games!

CW- none! :3

🌸Applaydu

Description- a kinder egg toy game! Loads of different activities to do and you can unlock characters by scanning your kinder toys!

CW- none! :3

🌸Duo abc

Description- learn the alphabet and basic words (only English), disclaimer? Maybe? not the same as duolingo, this app is made for children

CW- none! :3

Extras! (games I found while making this list)

Plants vs Zombies 1, 2 and 3

Description- fight zombies by setting up plants with different abilities! I recommend this for older kids, I had pvz 1 and 2 when I was younger and I was very bad at it haha

CW- zombies, ungorey violence (no blood etc)

Sundae picnic

Description- make ice cream for cats and dogs! (please don't actually give cats or dogs ice cream)

CW- none! :3

Pokemon sleep

Description- collect pokemon by sleeping (sometimes the app doesn't record your sleep properly but usually it's ok, still fun either way)

CW- none! :3

Khan kids

Description- I haven't played it yet but it looks like it has little mini games for younger kids on it!

CW- idk :c

#agere #age dreaming #age regression #age regressor #sfw agere #agere blog #sfw littlespace #sfw smolspace #agere activities #agere games #snailsagere

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i23kazu · 1 year

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GENSHIN MEN AND BAKING WITH THEM .

characters. xiao zhongli kaeya diluc childe alhaitham kaveh x reader genre. romantic fluff an. please reblog!! im getting back into writing and reblogs with tags and comments will make me want to write more :D

xiao

very meticulous. he's just like zhongli in the way that he does things – probably with a little less love and care, but that's because he doesn't see baking as a love language. xiao just wants your cupcakes after. please hug him as the two of you bake and bring out his slightly more playful side!

zhongli

he likes baking! as long as he doesn't pay for it ( butter and eggs are expensive nowadays... ), zhongli is more than happy to don a kiss-the-cook apron and sift flour with you. he does this thing where he presses a dent in the cookies into a diamond shape, then fills them with orange jam. geo cookies, anyone?

kaeya

kaeya just enjoys spending time with you! he hates cleaning up the mess in the kitchen, but because you're there, he'd happy to dance around the island while spinning you around, watching your flour-stained cheeks lift up a smile. did i mention that he hates cleaning up? somehow, a stomach ache always comes about when its time to clean...

diluc

unlike his brother, diluc enjoys the cleaning more than the baking itself... he doesn't particularly like getting his hands sticky with a slurry mixture and would rather help you clean it off. diluc is often seen walking around the kitchen cleaning up any messes or spills, to keep your environment and mood happy. he's also just glad to help you eat the goods.

childe

childe loves to bake with you! growing up, he always took his siblings to bake with him in the kitchen, constantly creating a plethora of different colourful goods, ranging from cookies to macarons to small cakes and such. childe is also very entertaining in the kitchen... just watch out for fingers constantly poking you when you're trying to make your sweets.

al-haitham

doesn't enjoy baking, prefers eating it instead. al-haitham would only bake when you really need help or if you force him to bake with you! it's quite funny watching him bake – he always ends up making a bigger mess than you do, and truth be told.. al-haitham doesn't have hands gifted for baking. those cookies did end up a bit rubbery...

kaveh

he's the definition of uncontrolled, unadulterated chaos! childish fun of flinging flour at each other always seems to weave its way into your simple plan of baking muffins, and the two of you commemorate the occasion by taking selfies of your flour-stained faces... and is that bits of egg on your hand? either way, he always has fun with you and vice versa. bake more.

taglist: @tiredsleep @loptido @raincxtter @his-kikufuku @ladyadii @soulsanta @sheiiy @genshinparty @eowinthetraveler @moonbyunniee @lemonswriting @legitnoi @lemontum @manager-of-the-pudding-bank @yzeniko (send ask to be added to taglist)

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billiedeansbitch · 10 months

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𝐕𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 (𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟐) - 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐡

(𝐋𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐚 𝐖𝐞𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)

a/n: sorry this took longer than expected whew (I had a flu) i'm fine now tho. also i had to dump the first two drafts because i didn't like it :>

warning/s: NSFW. SMUT. SMUT. SMUT

<— prequel

What occurred in the Principal’s office stayed in the Principal’s office.

Larissa didn’t dare bring that piece of memory back to the Principal's residence or into her bed. It was wrong enough for her to say a few things she shouldn’t have, that may have suggested frowned upon ideas and acted clearly on a whim. She later blamed that on the Cabernet Sauvignon that she indulged in during late afternoon after an impromptu meeting with the Mayor.

But then as though the Gods above were testing her, you both almost kissed in her study while overseeing a few papers regarding the Academy’s finances from last year. Subconsciously, her body leaned closer to you and you unexpectedly turned, the way she caught your waist to stop the collision of your bodies made your cheeks flushed, your lips were mere inches away from hers, breaths fanning across each other’s faces.

As brief as it was, it was enough to light a fire in her stomach to last her the entire day. If

She then abruptly dismissed you by the afternoon saying she could handle the final papers alone and you didn’t say anything to disagree with her and left as per instructed.

Finally, when you were out of earshot, Larissa let out a big, fat sigh. She then poured herself a fresh glass of wine, the colour almost matching the red on her face. She dropped on a velvet settee with a little less elegance, rubbed her temples as she removed her black rimmed spectacles. After that her hand wandered off to remove her heels.

She was damned as the wetness rubbed in between her thighs further soaking up her underwear. Her cunt ached and she knew, if she were ever to give you the chance, your mouth would serve her well.

It was so wrong to be thinking about your mouth suckling on the skin in between her legs, your tongue teasing her plump, sodden folds and licking her clit. Larissa attempted to drown these filthy thoughts with wine however it seemed like it wasn’t the best of ideas. She didn’t care. She kept going with her imagination while her fingers crawled between her legs, her skirt hiked up around her hips. She kept seeing your eyes from an angle she knew all too well and then she–

The tips of her fingers were soaked, juices smeared all over the thin patch of hair and the insides of her thighs, her nipples rubbed on her blouse and her underwear–where was her underwear? Larissa was displeased to have been interrupted, she sat back and saw her white, cotton underwear a bit further away from the settee.

Then there it was again, the knocking from the other side of her study.

The sky was dark with brooding storm clouds when you stepped out of her threshold. On your way to the parking area, you had your hand in your bag blindly searching for the messy bunch of keys. You stopped, feeling your fingers touched a rubbery surface. When you took it out it was the duck keychain attached to two different keys and they weren’t yours.

Halfway back, rain started to fall painting wet splotches all over the concrete. You made it to her front door, thrusted the spare key in and went inside. It was so quiet that you could hear the thumps of your heart in your ears.

Slowly, you approached her private study knowing she would be there and as you got closer the faint noise from the other side became a lot more audible for you. The door was not completely shut, you noticed.

Larissa had her hand in between her legs just like in your visions. She was whispering your name. Calling your name. She was…she was coming on your mouth. Absentmindedly, your tongue darted to lick the corners of your lips, tasting the imaginary cum of the woman.

You pulled yourself away from the door, panting and sweating.

–

The woman rose to her full, intimidating height, and forgone the notion of wearing the underwear and tucked it in her skirt pocket and went straight to the door and found out it was ajar.

It was you staring back at her with those striking eyes, your lips offering her a small smile, “I forgot to give you these.” your skin was flushed, a coat of sweat on your forehead. Larissa took the sight in.

“I know I should have returned them the other day after you asked me to fetch a couple of documents but I forgot.” hanging from your finger were two of her spare keys, one for the main door and one for her private study dangle together with a little duck keychain. She let you in, opening the door a little wider.

Larissa took the keys and set them on her table.

There had never been so much silence like this one apart from earlier when you both froze with an unwavering gaze for one another, your lips only mere centimetres apart. Then you decided to part, ignoring the glints of longing in your eyes.

“I heard you. I heard you saying my name.” Larissa momentarily closed her eyes, she then turned her head toward you, arching her brow urging you to continue.

You took a step forward, your heart racing in your chest. Something was telling you, you shouldn’t do it. “You want me.” she scoffed, but by no means did anything to counter what you said. It fueled your confidence, you took another step closer. She was trapped in between you and the desk.

“Is that why you told me my visions are safe with you?” it was breathy, your chest was heaving. Your eyes were looking more hopeful. Larissa took in the softness of the blush on your cheeks, how your lips tremble every time you speak to her, your gaze wanting to falter but you held it steady with every ounce of will you had.

What happened before in her office didn’t let you sleep. You kept thinking about it. About her. The things she told you, the way she grabbed your face and made you look straight into her eyes and when you whimpered her name

“Miss Weems”

Then you saw her eyes darkening with desire, the deepest, darkest and most carnal of them all.

“Your nipples are hard and you’re wet.” the gap closed from your bodies, you stood on your toes and your lips brushed against hers but never quite enough. Her lips twitched. Larissa stayed planted in front of you. “You want me.” you mouthed against her. You weren’t guessing. It was true.

There was a flash of mischief in the woman’s eyes and before you knew it, it was Larissa’s turn, her lips hovering over your lips and breathing in the faint smell of rain water and lipstick, “I want you.” she said, looking into your eyes. She sounded dark and vicious although her eyes were warm, enchanting blues persuading you to lean more and taste those lips.

You surged forward meeting her lips at last. Weems’ hand instinctively found purchase on your waist, holding you up against her while the other cupped your cheek before they weaved through your hair and settled on the back of your head.

Her mouth tasted of wine with a hint of toothpaste. Her scent was fascinating, attracting you to roam with your mouth against the skin of her neck, smelling every inch and tasting it as you went. Lavishing each freckle you saw and god there was a lot and you happily showed love to each one of them.

Larissa felt her stomach drop, everything else she expected and imagined was incomparable to this. It was so much better and more.

“I want you, too.” you murmured in between the kiss. Larissa hummed, her chest clenching. “I want you so much.” followed by the most brutally breathtaking liplocking and hands wandering all over each other’s faces, buttons popping out and zipper being undone.

Her desk was cleared in a heartbeat, papers flung around and though this one was smaller compared to the one in her office in the main building it was just as sturdy. Larissa held your face in her hands. “I want to be so gentle with you.” she planted soft, tender pecks on both of your eyelids, and you felt her smiling all the way through until she tucked a piece of hair behind you ear and whispered something filthy, “But we both know your cunt craves a hard fucking right now.”

Larissa didn’t mind how damp she was. This moment was about you and your pussy. Your sweet, and tight, little hole. The woman didn’t wait for you to recover from her words, she lifted you up on the desk, “Lie down, darling.” it was all finally becoming true.

What started out as languid flicks of her tongue turned to sadistic thrusts of her fingers, while her mouth kept wrapped around your clit, stimulating the hard, pink bundle of nerves and it had you fisting her hair, your toes curling from how good it felt.

“More. More, please. Don’t stop.” You begged her as you felt the heat pooling in your lower belly. Her hand cupped you breast and squeezed.

“Don’t stop. Fuck me however you want just please don’t stop. You feel so good inside me. Fuck!”

Larissa was incredibly enjoying it as she smirked while adding the third finger, your walls immediately clenching tight around her fingers.

“Yes, yes, yes, fuck.” It burned, it burned so bad like your walls were tearing apart but fuck she felt so good inside you and her fingers weren’t fully inside yet. “Larissa, fuck me.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you I—“

“You won’t. You won’t. It feels so good. You feel amazing.”

Larissa fucked you continuously until you were bent over her desk and she was fucking you from behind, her mouth clamped on your shoulder sucking pretty bruises around your body while her other hand was busy fondling your breasts, loving how firm your nipples were.

“You look so pretty like this. So pretty with my fingers in your cunt.”

Weems was undeniably great and knew how to fuck best because after your third orgasm, you were spent and sore but you asked her to keep her fingers in and she watched as your cum dripped down her wrist. You looked down and saw the mess you made.

When your face relaxed and your cheeks cooled, you looked at her with a wide-eyed gaze, your tears threatening to spill. Larissa kissed your forehead and pulled you toward her body, bringing your face to her chest and cooing at you.

“Did I hurt you?”

You sniffled, shaking your head “No. No, you didn’t. I’m okay. I feel good.”

You pressed your palm on her naked chest, feeling the erratic pounding of her heart. “You made me feel the best.” You assured her, wrapping your arms around her and kissing her shoulder, tasting sweat.

Larissa smiled, feeling better herself.

—

Later, you both ended up on the rag near the fireplace, the rainstorm hadn’t stopped, it kept pouring but neither of you cared. The thunders were loud but it was no match to the pitch of her cries, her legs were splayed and you were in between, lapping her cunt like it was your very last meal.

“Fuck yes, mhmm, yes that’s it—keep doing that, baby.” She was rolling her hips and fucking your face, spreading her legs even wider. You knew what you had to do.

You shifted her leg over your shoulder and extended your tongue deeper into her as much as you could, curling and then sucking until her legs quiver. “I’m coming. Fuck, I’m coming, (y/n).”

You buried your tongue even farther inside, tasting the sweetness of her pussy and feeling her walls contract, her juices leaking straight to your mouth. You suckled on her clit and felt her legs jolt, her hand pushing your shoulder but you didn’t stop, you kept going and fucked her some more with your fingers. The room was filled with wet noises as your knuckles drove deep inside again and again, curling them while your mouth was busy taunting her nipples.

Her cunt was wet, the wettest you’ve ever had, she was plump and pink and very, very alluring, you couldn’t stop yourself. You wanted her. She was fucking delicious.

Larissa chuckled seeing your face smeared with her juices once you pulled away from her, your eyes still fixated on cunt. You frowned at her. “What?” you asked, utterly oblivious to how messy you look.

“Come here, darling.” she beckoned you to come. You obliged, crawling toward her. She propped herself up with her elbow, cleaning your mouth and chin with the back of her hand before kissing you lightly on the lips. Your cheeks warmed at the gesture.

You licked your thumb seeing there was a smudge of mascara just right below her left eye, “You got somethin’ here, too.” Larissa leaned and let you touch her face. “There you’re all pretty again.”

Larissa chuckled her chest vibrating on your ears. “I like it when you laugh.” you were now pressed right on top her, your head on her chest.

“Why?” she asked, staring aimlessly on the ceiling, her fingers combing your hair.

“Because it tickles my brain or something.”

Or something, you thought feeling all explosive things in your chest. Or something…

#larissa weems x reader #larissa weems #larissa weems imagine #larissa x reader #principal larissa weems #gwendoline christie imagines #gwendoline christie #larissa weems smut #this is so fucking filthy y'all

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digoload · 4 months

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More Voltron AU!

Alien fugitive Fit who frequently steals/scavenges from Galra ships and settlements (and usually causes some mayhem too) frees human Pac from a work camp and takes him under his wing. Fitpac ensues, followed by relentless teasing from Tubbo, who went into space searching for Pac.

Fit used to be a gladiator for blood sport on a Galra cruiser before he found Ramon and they broke free together. Turns out Ramon's pretty handy with a fighter jet!

Ramon also engineered his arm and trident with the use of a balmera crystal shard they stole off a Galra encampment. He only wears it when necessary.

(version without notes, and extras on Fit's species below the cut)

Fit's species come in many different colours. They are vaguely humanoid, and are known for their height and bulk, much like the Galra. Unlike the Galra, they have much less fur, usually only some hair at the very back of the head (Fit is fully bald though lmfao). Their skin is fairly smooth, but rubbery and thick like a whale's.

His species is a fairly new one, all things considered. Most have very short tails at the base of their spines as a holdover from when they lived in their planet's oceans, but they are usually almost unnoticeable.

They have several antler-like growths on the tops of their heads that drop off seasonally, which are often used for making tools or weapons. In the past, they were made into arrowheads, used to carve clay tablets, or embedded into clubs or other blunt weapons. They are also used as reminders of the fallen.

Their planet had no prior knowledge of aliens before they were invaded by the Galra. Following their planet's capture, they became a popular species for gladiators due to their size and build.

#qsmp fitmc #qsmp fanart #fitmc fanart #my art #fitpac #morning crew #qsmp morning crew #qsmp fitpac #qsmp pactw #qsmp tubbo #qsmp ramon #qsmp au #qsmp vld au #<- gonna start tagging my vld au posts with this from now on

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professorcalculusstanaccount · 1 year

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i absolutely lost my mind discovering your blog this morning. i absolutely adore your style and your story/concept ideas SO MUCH. i love your love for chang and i adore how you draw him and just the love and care you have for the characters and their stories, their history-just everything. oh my god your art and animations are incredible thank you so much you made me so happy this morning 😭😭😭

Thank you very much! I just feel like the Tintin universe has a lot of potential for deep dives. Herge often drew inspiration from the real world so that naturally brings a lot of richness - I'm just lucky to have the privilege of having nearly a century of hindsight and an Internet connection for my research!

also fun fact, I draw Chang the way I do for multiple reasons. I ramble so here's a Read More:

The first is just to update how Chinese people are depicted in this style - I'm Chinese myself (British Chinese) and while I do appreciate Chang's original appearance was basically modelled off a real guy and Herge really did try his best with depicting Chinese people sensitively I wouldn't be comfortable sticking exactly to those original portrayals (tbh it’s mostly the eyes and the skin colour I have an issue with, I liked the weird rubberiness of early Herge!). I also would like to update how the Japanese characters were portrayed too as man those designs are viscerally uncomfortable (like those characters were villainous because they were doing imperialism, not because they're Japanese man come on)

The second is - Chang is a fucking shapeshifter. I swear he looks different in every appearance he makes in official materials. You're telling me these are all the same guy??

From left to right: Chang from a postage stamp that uses artwork from The Blue Lotus, the middle is from the 90s cartoon and the one on the right is from a... cheese sticker??? His nose, hair and face shapes change quite a bit

To get his design I mixed together the 90s cartoon version with the original. People have mentioned The Cheekbones Chang has in the 90s cartoon but I actually like how they give him a distinct shape, it helps differentiate his shape language from Tintin who's all round and soft.

For his young adult design I initially thought to reference Tintin in Tibet but he's so malnourished and close to death his portrayal there probably wasn't intended to represent what he's normally like. I just took my design for Chang and pushed the shapes more. I thought it would be cool for him to look pretty different when he grows up as a contrast to how static Tintin is as a character.

The third (and funniest) reason why I draw Chang the way I do is I actually look a lot like Blue Lotus Chang to a frightening degree, like to the point where it looks like my likeness was stolen 70 years before I even existed. I do not like thinking about my physical existence! I do not want to draw myself! No thank you!! my self insert is haddock if we’re being real

#asks #fanart #animation #2d animation #tintin #adventures of tintin #chang #gif #well that was a ride #ive got a bunch of asks i am working through #there's a lot in my drafts!

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adobe-outdesign · 3 months

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Could you review the ixi?

Briefly limited edition for a very short period after their release, Ixi are mostly just goats, and there's really nothing fancy about them beyond being goats (unless you want to count the collars). They are pretty nicely designed goats though, with distinct eye shapes, lots of black accents on the hooves, eyebrows, and horns, and some nice markings around the face and muzzle that really help to break up the body.

I also like the personality Ixis have, being mischievous and sort of sassy. This was more obvious in their old circle art, but you still get it a bit from the converted version as well. It's fun and helps make them stand out.

This might be a controversial Hot Take(TM), but I'd argue that Ixis mostly benefited from customization. The old art was just a bit janky all around—the circle pose mostly looks good, but the default happy poses could look kind of off. The converted version cleans up a lot of that, removing things like the second fur tuft on the head that's too close to the horn to be noticeable, the unpleasant lines around the mouth, the shaggy fur lines, etc.

It also refines some aspects, like giving the lighter tail tip an outline to match the rest of the lighter areas and fixing the hind torso, which was all kinds of screwed up on the original art. It also improves the eyes so they're closer to being the same size (it still looks a smidge off to me, but it's at least better). The shading is also less messy (what was up with that pink reflective light on the tail?), the eyebrows have been thickened to match the other black areas more, and it's easier to make out aspects of the design.

Another benefit is that the collars can be removed. I do think Ixi collars look better than Aisha collars (mostly because they can be interpreted as chokers when anthropomorphized, and they at least match the color of the eyes), but it's nice to have the option to remove it if one wants to.

However, there were a few things that don't look as good—namely, the head is both a bit too big and too wide compared to the original, giving it a weird rectangle shape that doesn't quite feel right. Here's a super quick edit of the converted version to try to get the point across:

Also, for some reason the chest fur also stops below the collar instead of under it, and the red Ixi's mouth is no longer the lighter shade like it is on every other Ixi. The sideways hair ruffle at the top is also weird due to them adding a line underneath. So overall an improvement—but not perfect.

Favorite Colours:

Mutant: What a great color! It's just messed up enough to look properly mutant-y, with the fangs, mismatched horns and ears, bipedal stance, spots, and a long, drooping tail. The color palette is subtle and muted, and it's detailed but still completely coherent as a whole. This design also didn't change with customization at all, so it's still as enjoyable as it ever was.

Grey: I already covered this one a bit in my grey color review so I won't get into it much here, but this color is great. The customized version is so-so (good as a neutral base, but the eyes look a bit weird due to lack of top lids), but the UC version is beautiful with its forlorned expression, huge droppy ears, and pretty dull red accents. Even the collar is drooping!

Robot: Converted robot Ixis unfortunately aren't very good—yes, they have to proportionally match the default base, but the chunky round legs, overly large head ridge, and completely botched shading look pretty bad. It looks weirdly rubbery in a really unpleasant way. On the plus side, the unclothed version is terrifying, so it has that much going for it.

However, the UC version is fantastic! It has a super sleek design that manages to look unusually elegant and cute for a robot pet, with a subtle dark green and black palette and high-contrast red eyes. There are lots of good details in there too, like how the neck matches the legs and ears.

#I didn't. realize I had so many opinions on Ixis before writing this #neopets #neotag #ixi #neopet reviews

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thylacines-toybox · 1 year

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i love love love love the chimera character in your icon!! did you make them? if you did, do youve detail pics and/or wip pictures? i really want to make / modify a sensory plush for myself so i love the addition of things like the teether tail and would love to see all the little beastie's features and learn more about them if youre ok with sharing!! and in general, do you ever post WIPs or tips abt sewing?? thanks for your time and sharing your amazing work with us!

First off, yes I do have a few bits and pieces of sewing advice in my plushie advice tag! There could always be more, though…

I’m glad you enjoy my chimera, I love him too! He was such fun to make and come up with all the babyish details for, and I’m very proud of him.

I don’t really have wip pics of the chimera (since I was kind of in The Zone making him) but I can take you on a, uh, short tour of his features, that sounds fun!

The baby boy himself… lots of pictures and words under the cut!

Here are the first doodles of him as I came up with his design! I was trying to make a cute lion/lamb (the meanings of the two parts of my irl name!) which is basically a chimera already, and the combination of primary colours, rainbows, and a cloud-like wool mane made the weather theme just happen.

Obviously I just had to sew this! He already looked just like a colourful baby toy.

Here is his lovely little face. I took style inspiration from a lion toy I had already, and to keep him accurate to a baby-toy style, I used embroidery stitches to make his face rather than any “choking hazards” like plastic eyes. I’ve not really used embroidery before so it was pretty hard to do neatly!

He’s also got ribbon loops for whiskers (or are they sun rays?) and you can also see a bit of star-textured minky fabric on his face and ears. Fun textures are important!

His mane is made with a super soft and fluffy fur fabric. Maybe not strictly “baby safe” since it can slightly shed fibres, but it’s very nice, and I’m not exactly a real baby lol. His horns have a nice ridged texture, you’ll see what those were made from in a moment…

Oh, I also added a banana scent chip from Build-a-Bear into his little head, because I love that smell. He’s a multi-sensory plush alright.

His front paws have some noises in them! In the red one is a squeaker, and the blue one is a rattle. You can buy these especially for putting in toys, but the rattle I used in him was actually just a little plastic capsule with a few beads inside like pictured!

All four paws have a bumpy rubbery texture on them. Rather appropriately, they are made from actual baby socks! I found a multipack of different colours that matched my planned colours perfectly by sheer luck.

The ridged horn material came from the top of the red sock!

Here is the tummy, also made with a star textured fabric. It has a cylindrical chime inside which makes a lovely musical jingling sound when he’s tipped around.

While bean filling probably isn’t baby safe either, I did put a beanbag in his bottom because I like a bit of weight and it helps him sit nice.

The wings have matching dimple textured minky on one side and smooth minky on the other. I feel like dimple minky is a must if you want to make a babyish toy!

Inside the wings are some pieces of (clean) cereal packet to give them a light crinkle sound. You can buy crinkly material especially for this too, which can be a lot noisier! He’s actually very quiet as crinkly toys go, but I’m okay with this.

He’s got some little raindrop patches made from dotty cotton, with more embroidered edges which I recall having a lot of difficulty with… looks good though! As well as textures, you gotta include some fun visual patterns in a baby toy too.

And finally, the tail! A thick rainbow ribbon holding a cloud shaped teether - another lucky find in a baby shop! It came attached to a squeaky sun and crinkly rainbow, currently held by another toy.

Originally I’d simply stitched the end of the ribbon in place around the teether, but then I got some plastic snaps (for making bandanas with!) and found they gave it a much nicer finish.

And that’s about it! Hope you enjoyed getting to know the little chimera and his features!

#plushie advice #baby toy #sensory toy #thyl-ask-ine #chimera

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unityrain24 · 4 months

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❅Jotun Loki Design❅

my submissions for @jotun-design-party, though i don't know if it's too late (deadline was december 17th, and it it still dec 17 for me {by less than an hour} but idk if it is for it). If i missed the deadline, i'm sorry.

I had been looking forward to this for several months (and even started a separate jotun loki design months ago in preparation/excitement), but i just haven't been able to do much as of late. Which is sad. And while i had been planning to enter the contest for months, as it drew nearer i realized i probably wouldn't be able to. Which was very sad, because this is one of the only things i've actually looked forward to in forever :(.

As such, though, i really didn't want this oppurtunity to go to waste, like so many others i've had to, and especially in light of magpiemurder going to leave its account soon, i just decided i'd have to push though and do it. I spent pretty much all of today just drawing drawing drawing. Traditional sketched, and then "quickly" added colour digitally (it took several hours as well).

also. all the designs are supposed to be symmetrical (save design 四 and the nails in designs 三&四), so if you see any mistakes... sshhh

More on designs:

一: average battle outfit made from thick, rubbery frost beast leather

二: ceremonial battle armour, used in head shaving ceremony and first battle of a war. Made from thick and (some) thin leather, as well as some mercury metal rings, beads, and bone

三: average every-day wear (inside the city). made of fur, cloth woven from fur, thin leather mercury and bone.

四: average every-day wear (inside city). Likely for around-city wear, not relaxing indoors, due to the uncomfortableness of the beads. Made of fur fabric, fur, thin leather, beads, some bone.

五: average everyday wear (inside city). By far my favourite. For the loincloth, i tried making it look like celtic knots that start right at the top, then sort of get looser and "fade-out" at the end. Thin leather, fur fabric, bone, beads, possibly mercury metal rings.

六: everyday travel wear (outside of city). Not made for warmth, but for protection agains the elements (sharp stone, cutting blizzards, etc). Thick leather, mercury rings. Since loki is royalty, the under layer on theirs is made of black fish scale (the rarest) (also it's supposed to be slightly iridescent but i couldn't do that). For less lavish options, under layers could be made of simply thinner leather, fabric, or a nothing. The nothing option has the jotun wearing it craft an under layer out of ice, and allows for more skin avaliable to make ice for other uses. Also notice how lokis gloves leave the palm bear; this is to allow for the ability to still make ice.

also wanted to say pretty much any of these outfits could be worn with cloaks (save design 一) but i didn't draw them

also: i wanted to do another outfit, a traditional wedding attire. I imagine the jotnar wouldn't actually wear clothes for a wedding, but rather make their own covering out of their own ice. Being their own design, it shows their partner "who they are", and the transparency of the ice represents vulnerability and transparency (in communication; honesty).

jotun headcanons

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mychlapci · 3 months

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I have a big brain that is smooooth, an obsession with Megatron being 100% breedable and mother material (i have a picture somewhere in my memories of WHY megatron is so breedable.) and im sorry for spamming your inbox out but I need to indulge myself in like 2000000 different things, i promise im sorry ;-;

Megaratch is the hill i am going to die on. Because now we need Ratchet sheepishly admitting to Optimus, who’s 100% ready to kill himself or the closest bot, that he was the crazy mech to spike Megatron multiple times.

Yeah Prowl definitely bluescreens, and doesnt re-online for a couple days because his stress-meter blew out the roof.

Meanwhile with the cons, everyone’s 100% sure its Optimus, despite how he swore it wasnt him. But that changes the moment Megatron pops out the next batch of babies, clearly used to birthing out lil bitties by now. And one of them comes out with. Sirens. TINY LITTLE SIRENS, rocking white and red plating, 100% ambulance sirens, their armour still a rubbery consistency , and red optics. And then everyone realises ‘oh god the autobot medic’

I will also die on the hill of that medics are perfect stud material, strong in multiple ways, sturdy and well built, He could pump Megatron full of transfluid for hours, not stopping until Megatron asks or he’s empty of transfluid.

Annd…who is Megatron to say No to an offer like that?

Okay but like. Hell breaks loose AGAIN in both factions, everyone’s confused as fuck because WHERE has Megatron gone, WHY the autobot medic, WHEN did they start fucking on the weekly and HOW have they gotten away with this?!

- Chase anon :3 , Thank you for feeding into everyones addictions, i’ll try not to go crazy on your inbox i promise <3

Megatron is breedable. He's powerful, strong, has the body and the hips for it, and a carrier capable of protecting his litter is a good carrier. Also 100% medics are perfect studs, which is probably why it all started. You have a perfect, capable carrier, and a very capable sire, both of which really hate each other, but… the sex is fucking great, and the breeding drive just makes it so much better. And Megatron wants heirs. And Ratchet is just… living out some rage fantasies and blowing off steam.

Ratchet probably gets away with it for a long time. However long it takes for Prowl to stop yelling at Optimus. Which is a long time, indeed. But then there's a lot of doubt circling through the autobot ranks, distrust in their leader, so he ends up having to admit that he ended up fucking Megatron. He has to say it in front of the whole high command too, just really rip off the bandaid and let everyone know that no, it wasn't Optimus who knocked up Megatron, it was him (and maybe Optimus is a little jealous…)

The proof is Megatron's next batch of bitties, which come out significantly more ambulance coloured. My bet is there were a few decepticons who had a bet on the autobot medic, but only a few, and they end up loaded for sticking to their guns even though everyone told them they're being stupid.

You think they share custody? You think one day Ratchet's just got a couple bitties in his arms the entire day. A couple big, fat, red-eyed bitties. Prowl probably suggests, not so subtly, that they should get rid of them, but that idea is immediately shushed by everyone with half a spark because…just look at them. The bitlets are, somehow, so cute.

#valveplug #kind of #pregnancy mention #megaratch evening

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punk-in-docs · 2 years

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Hi love! I’m not sure if I requested this here or not (so if I did please ignore this and know I’m terribly sorry for asking again, I have a garbage memory) but if I didn’t, can I request an Eddie x reader fic where they’ve been in an established relationship (maybe like a year or 2). How do you think they would celebrate their anniversary? Like how do you think Eddie would be in particular, cuz I can see that lovable goofball being an anxious mess because he wants to do so much. But I’m interested to see what you think would happen in this sort of scenario, cuz you write Eddie so damn good ;)

Ok ok hear me out on this one cause I can so picture something: and it goes a little like this-

🍁love is kinda crazy with a spooky little boy like you🍁

Eddie yowled in front of you like a startled cat. You’d swear if he could, he’d raise his spiky hackles on end.

Does that thing with his arms, where he goes all shrivelled and squirrely. Mouth wide and shaped like a kidney bean as he shrieks.

Bravely though, batting the stuffed clowns cackling head, that just sprang out the shredded walls at you.

You’re lost wandering deep within the twisted seedy belly of the haunted house maze.

He punched his fist into the soft squish of the dummies head. Tufts of coarse blueberry coloured hair. Bulging chilli red eyes popping out at the pair of you. Grin all macabre on its stupid rubbery painted face.

He hates clowns. Doesn’t even like the one in that Bowie video.

“Fucker.” He hissed as he swiped at it again. Heart racing hummingbird fast in his throat.

Crushed his metal rings into it again, just because. Grits his teeth. He’s on edge.

Why did he agree to this scare jumping, spine chilling fuckery again-

Cause it’s stupid and fun. Get in the Halloween spirit. You’d said.

Then gave him a deep, beautiful kiss that was all toffee apple and pink pink cotton candy. Your tongue furred with sugar and, damn, how he suddenly forgot why he was ever mad. Haunted what? Scared, who?

“I do not like this.” He tells you.

Kept telling you, actually. His eyes go darting around corners. Gaze scanning ahead like you were tiptoeing enemies in a live war-zone.

“You’ve said that already.”

“And you apparently didn’t want to listen. So I’ll say it, once more, with feeling- I DON’T like this.” He repeats. Voice rising to a pitchy squeak.

He jiggles on the spot. Cagey. Jesus H Christ.

“Never again. I promise.” You smooth a hand to his chest and pat him on his Judas Priest shirt. Leaves warmth where you touch him that he’s too scared to enjoy right now.

“I mean what’s so wrong with the fucking bumper cars, honey? They don’t have dead fake mangled things everywhere with stuff popping out the walls- shit.”

He backs away sidewards, whimpers, edges away sudden, the wall next to him is broken wood slats and nails, with stubby zombie hands now poking through. Black rotting nails all split, half eaten flesh all green, yellow dirty bones exposed. Grunts of the undead leak through from the other side. Searching for your living juicy meat.

“I ain’t got any brains for you to eat. Morons. Go swivel.” He defends. It makes you smile.

“You like horror movies, Eddie, I thought you’d find it cool.” You try to offer in your own defence for getting you both in here.

His hand squeezes yours. Tight. Clammy with sweat.

“You can turn a movie off. Princess. You can press pause or take the video out, leave the room. It’s a small screen you can manage. I didn’t say ‘yeah sure, honey, drop me onto the fucking set of Night of the living dead. I don’t mind’.” He snaps quickly in parody. He doesn’t mean it nastily.

Despite everything, you can’t help it. You chuckle. He looks at you with a very specific look in his eyes.

You feel his hands grip for your hips in your pretty dress. He comes up right close behind you. You feel his hair brushing dry at the back of your neck. His lips skate against the crown of your head.

“Oh you’re so in for it if we make it out of here alive.”

“Theres optimism.” You rib at him. Reaching back to cup your hand over his cheekbone.

“Vamonos.” He encourages. Sneaking down and patting your ass softly.

You pass along a section of hallway where the lights blink, maniacal Vincent Price-esque laughs bubble up all around you. Rolling through the maze and snatching at your running heels.

Ghosts in jangling dragging chains with arms outstretched. Apple green eyes glowing under the white sheet. Groans and wails. The lilac purple gothic room full of creepy eyeless dolls, a chirpy lullaby from a demented music box tinkling away.

‘Help’ crudely scrawled on the walls in sticky fingertip blood, hand smears too, in the mouldy white tiles of the crazy surgeons dungeon. Screams pierce. Fake amputated limbs scattered across the operating table. Blood tinged saws and knives.

Now. He goes into his famous Munson defence mode. Scurrying along and keeping you pulled behind him. Arms braced out with you bracketed between them. Pulling you into his back and offering his own front as your shield.

The Dio vested Knight he was, all chivalry and manners, putting himself at risk for love of you. His maiden. His one. Maid Marian to his Robin Hood. Or more likely, as he liked to think of it, Marianne Faithfull to his Mick Jagger. Much cooler.

You looped your fingers through his. Pulling him back to your side.

“Don’t worry. I’ll always protect you, big boy.” You wink at him. Makes his heart squeeze and flash faster when you do that. You lean in and nuzzle a kiss onto his jaw.

He pulls you in closer. Your chest brushing into his. A twitchy sort of frenzy on his face.

“I just want you to know. If we weren’t in this hellscape. I would be making out with you so hard right now.”

“Noted.” You beam. Pulling him along again, shadows roll and flick over a movement down the corridor in your peripheral. You strong arm him away before the chain saw guy with the peeling rubber face and “human skin” mask could catch you.

That split cherry soft of your grin. He’s so soft for it. Lips pink from that watermelon balm you use that he never lets linger for too long. He would be lying if he said he didn’t like the silky taste.

You laugh and shriek when a guy in a skeleton costume, comes bursting cunningly out the slanted shadows of a corner.

“Leaving so soon?” He snarls.

“Eat shit, bonehead.” Eddie fairly screeches, and tugs you along with him. Body blocking you. Reeling you along to, hopefully, the fucking exit of this creepy hell hole.

Halle-fucking-lujah. It’s up ahead on the right. The lovely big green arrows pointing to the exit. Salvation. Freedom.

He yanks on your wrist and you run full speed towards it. Ghoul hands painted blue make one last attempt to rip at your clothes. Eddie bats them away.

Not today fuckers. Me and my lady getting out of here-

It’s definitely a relief when you come to the cooling wash of night air outside. It was stuffy inside. The cramped space choking with the smell of warm tacky plastic, and stale air lining the horror laden walls. The night air is so thick and blue out here you could drink it. Sticky opium of a bruising fall night.

The air is throbbing deep with autumnal scents. Warm bubbling cider. Fried funnel cakes. Buttery caramel popcorn and soft pretzels studded with salt. That definable gooey orange scent that comes gouged out the insides of pumpkins, pitted with seeds.

The wind isn’t threaded with a biting cold yet, but it promises too, as the treacly night drags on. Leaves, the colour of gold and apricot, crunch and snap under your feet.

Your favourite time of year. The best. The slice of the cold that has you reaching for chunky sweaters. Cold knifing rain on grey dour windows and gloomy days. Splashing your boots into autumn puddles mucked with leaves.

Horror movies, carving pumpkins, and baking orange and black sprinkle cookies with Eddie in the trailer.

He always went full tilt overkill and added way way too many sprinkles. More sprinkles than cookie, really. Lacing the place with the scents of sugar and vanilla dough. And home. Sitting out on the porch with a warm cider in your hands chatting to Wayne as he smokes. Laughing at Eddie whining about washing the dishes- getting excited that the cookies were rising too.

Eddie takes a deep breath. Scanning up at the haunted house maze you’d just stumbled through. His hand still very much clutched on yours. He meant what he said. He’d never let go. Eddie keeps his word.

Although the truth be told, he made you promise you wouldn’t let his hand go the second you stepped inside that maze.

You hadn’t let go of this hand for two years. You weren’t planning to start now.

And yes, the full fact of being here again is crashing into your gut. Making you all mushy swooning and sentimental. It was your tradition after all-

“Come on. Handsome. Let’s go. I’ll buy you a corn dog as a reward for being so tough back in there. Protecting me.” You nudge his arm to bring him in.

He steps towards you and curls you into them. Rubbing his arms along your sides. Looping hands around the back of your waist. He doesn’t say anything but he’s definitely smiling down at you. His belly pressed to you. Tilts his head. Pensive look on his face.

You’re touching in so many places. All tangled and wrapped up in leather and denim like you usually are around him.

“What is it?” You ask him. Scanning that maniacal face and those deep puddles of oozing chocolate eyes for an answer.

“It’s been two years. To the exact day.” He says softly. His thumbs smoothing over the backs of your hips.

You smile at his recounting it. “Believe me. Munson. I remember.”

“We were arguing. On top of that very Ferris wheel. Two years ago. When I first asked you out.” He points behind your hip with his finger.

Up towards the huge circular ride studded with yellow and red bulbs all the way around. A huge golden eye of dragging slow metal brushed against the navy sky.

“I was winning the argument by the way.”

“You always do. Cause I’m such a peach. I let you.” He winks. Grins all big. Shiny teeth.

Mainly he loses cause he just skips up to you like a jester, spins you around, and kisses you until you’re smiling again.

“…And it was the fourth time you asked me out. To which I finally relented, and said yes. Only if I can pick the movie and we can get cotton candy afterwards.” You beamed.

“You didn’t tell me you very vehemently hated heights.” He teased.

“I went on that ride for the excuse of being sat next to you for ten minutes, you dope.” You tell him.

It rips a chuckle out that pillowy lovely mouth. You slip your arms around the back of his neck. Sway into him. Narrow your eyes when he laughed.

“It worked. I got to kiss you and I got a date. Even if you did break all the bones in my hand you squeezed it so hard.” He recalled. He had blue knuckles for three weeks. Swollen sore. He couldn’t play guitar for a month.

He drags one curled knuckle over your cheek. Those eyes of yours he loves - the eyes he’s a servant too - are brimming golden, bursting with the fairground lights glimmering all around you. Threaded chilli red in your hair too.

“And you bought me the most huge pink cotton candy I’d ever seen.”

“Shaped like a fucking heart.” He smiled.“You feral little thing. Ate it all in ten minutes.”

“You helped.” You pointed out.

He leaned in and brushed his nose across your cheek. Into the nest of your hair. Kisses your jaw. You chuckled and slipped your arm up his back.

“Kissed most of it off your lips.” He remembers in a soft mumble, with a waggle of those brows. Lips planted against your cheek. Tone dipping naughtily into flirt.

Kissed and kissed until the sugar made him feel sick. Now he knew what the term lovesick meant. His metal and thorn wrapped rocker heart you had cupped safely in your hands. He’d never have it any other way.

You yank your hand into the back of his wild hair. Hold him still as you devour his lips with yours. Taste the Marlboro smoke that lived at a permanent address on his tongue. Pipped with the sweet toffee from the apple you’d both pecked at earlier. He’d kissed and bitten his pieces of apple right out your offered mouth.

Tasty as fuck, he’d said. He hadn’t even meant the apple.

He moans and you feel it shoot and slice to your belly. Gut punch love. His moans- they are better than music.

He cups you and keeps you yanked firm against his front as he kisses you back. Sneaks his tongue into your mouth, and the way it brushes yours makes your knees whirl all useless.

Damn his tongue should be criminal to be that good-

You don’t care that crowds of people are cutting around where you’re making out with your boyfriend. It was a carnival. High schoolers were dating and kissing horny all over the damn place.

What was one more star studded couple with hearts lodged in their eyes?

You cross your arms around the back of his neck. He tips into you. Skims his big warm hands up the backs of your smooth thighs. Resists cupping your ass in public- he should really get a medal for that. C’mon-

When you pull back, he chases after your mouth. Greedy and always so. Not ready for it to be over yet. He’s never ready to stop kissing you.

“Kettle corn. A pink lemonade. And a corn dog. Final offer.” You smile at him. An effective bargaining chip you kept in your pocket. Plying him with food as persuasion.

The way into Eddie Munson’s heart was occasionally via a funky reroute to his stomach.

You’re shameless and it works.

“Sold.” He grins. Enjoying the hell out of the way your tits are crushed to his chest right now.

“…Then the Ferris Wheel, honey.” He smirks with a pure maniacal grin of evil. “You can break my fingers again. I’ll let you.”

“This is you getting your own back for the haunted maze isn’t it.” You wilfully decide. That stubborn jut of your chin. Unimpressed eyes scratching daggers at him.

“My hand hasn’t left yours for two years. Sweet cheeks. Not gonna start now.” He beams.

He loops an arm over your shoulder. Steers you towards the corn dog stand. You tangle your steps alongside his. Slide your arm across his trim waist. His leather arm cold around your shoulder.

“Then after the food and the Ferris wheel. I’m gonna take you back to the van. And do filthy filthy things to you, whilst the firework show bursts across the sky.” The way his lips brush the shell of your ear makes your thighs wobble and shoot with sensation.

“Filthy you say?” You ask with hot blood gathering up in your cheeks. Gold lights bloom in his dark eyes like round petals. Dazzling.

“Yep.” He pops the p.

“Gonna lick you real slow. Make you yelp. Then just gonna slide my tongue right in, far as I can, I’m not gonna be stopping until you melt. Right into my mouth.” He decides with a playful little kiss to your jaw.

Goddamn it this boy knows how to make your pussy throb and clench.

“Is this all part of your grand revenge plan?” You seek.

“No. Baby. Just a damn good way to spend a Friday night with my favourite chick.”

Your heart is all melty. Slipping down the insides of your butter soft ribs. You do so love this man with every single tiny atom of your being.

“I thought your guitar was your favourite chick?” You play.

He grins. Chucked all sweet. “Nah. You feed me. You win hands down babe.”

Tagging some Munson babes; @indouloureux @youaremyfamiliar @fujiihime @groupie-love-71 @stiegasaw @thelyingpierrot @munsonquinns @captain-tch @ramona-thorns @starbxcks @morganamoonstone

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juniper-c · 3 months

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Folks from the US getting condescending about people not from the states has to be my least favourite genre of posts. Like, i swear every other week I see some shit written in half baked (british) english slang about baked beans or jellied eels or rotten teeth and it drives me up the wall. Just a bunch of fundamental misunderstandings about a place they've never been too with little to no curiosity about what life might actually be like there.

Im only coming at this from a UK angle so cant speak for anywhere else but a quick rundown on all this shit states side people get wrong about our food specifically because thats what winds me up the most.

Beans on toast is a cheap staple breakfast food, not the cornerstone of our cullinary tradition.

In most urban city centers you get a complex mix of diaspora informed food stuffs, primarily indian and east asian because of all that colonialism we did. Relatively large muslim populations also bring in middle eastern influences.

Even what you might think of as a classic british pub will sell you a basic curry unless you're in the arse end of nowhere. This is not niche shit. Our whole food culture is shaped by this.

What you could call 'classic' british cooking like full roast dinners with Yorkshire puddings, propery gravy, sruffung, and all the other fixings are fucking great actually. Bit of lamb with mint, bit of pork with apple sauce, cut of beef with mustard. It goes hard.

Even if you are in the arse end of nowhere stuff like pasties, proper pies, stews with dumplings, fish and chips, and other sea side holiday basics that make you think of little coves in north devon are also good, actually. Yes its not spiced to all hell and back, but they incoperate herbs and vegatables and stocks in ways that give it a unique depth of flavour distinct from cultures informed by a more spice heavy tradition.

Say what you will about our shit (complimentary) chicken shops and rubbery high street donner in years of nights out blind drunk in student bits of the city they've never once given me the gastric distress y'all describe post taco bell.

Of course our mexican food isn't particularly authentic, the countries half a planet away and we dont have a large mexican diaspora. What we do have is tuned for mass market appeal by largish chains or sold out of artisinal taco food trucks that we all find a bit wanky tbh.

Spicy food exists, and we quite like it. Yes even pasty white tony who turns the colour of jam when he eats a medium hot vindaloo. Indian food is a cornerstone of our national diet of course we know what chilli powder is.

And finally nobody eats fucking jellied eels it was a victorian era poverty food and even then only in london.

Also our chocolate is better than yours because we dont put the weird chemical in it that makes it taste like sick. Eat a kit kat and die mad about it.

#Had to get this rant out of my heart #Dungeon Meshi got me amped about food clearly #there is a reason our chefs go on your telly to yell at your guys #please dont break containment though spare me the disk horse

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honourablejester · 7 months

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A couple of random fantasy foods/street foods/condiments, since we’re on the topic:

Wrad rocks. These are little bluish seed pods that look a little bit like hard, marble-sized blueberries, usually sold in little paper packets of about six or so. If you put one in your mouth and bite down, they pop and explode the bitterest taste you’ve ever experienced all over the inside of your mouth. Seriously. Incredibly bitter. They’re vile. But once the initial hit fades, the aftertaste is a sort of pleasant, warm, sweetish flavour, and they make you feel buzzed. Wide, wide awake. The effect doesn’t last long, but for about ten to fifteen minutes after popping one of these, you are aggressively awake and aware. The effect is not cumulative, and if you eat more than about three or so at once, or more than about ten or so consecutively every fifteen minutes, it does bad things to your taste buds, your stomach lining, and your ability to think complex thoughts, but wrad rocks are still extremely popular with night watchmen, college students, and the sort of kids who like to test who has the strongest taste buds or who can keep the straightest face under extreme provocation.

Durril/Lethifar/Blacktongue. A widespread condiment made primarily from the secretions of a particular subterranean fungus, blacktongue is, as one of the common names suggests, a very thick blackish sauce that sticks and coats to whatever it comes in contact with. It has a very strong, pungent, earthy taste, and it coats the back of your throat from smelling it, never mind tasting it. Very, very popular with dwarves, goblins, gnomes, and other subterranean peoples, it has long since made it onto the surface as well, and is very … not necessarily popular but well known among sailors, soldiers, explorers, and other people who spend long stretches of time stationed or exploring places where fresh food is problematic. This is because if you put a couple of drops of this stuff on anything, no matter how rancid, the blacktongue will still be all you can taste. So once you’re used to blacktongue, and you have some, you can eat pretty much anything. It also does stain your teeth and tongue over time, so ‘soldier’s blacktongue’ or ‘sailor’s blacktongue’ can be used to identify someone who’s subsisted on it for some time. Several variations on the recipe do exist, and various families, vendors and peoples have added other ingredients to alter the flavour profile a bit. This is usually accepted cheerfully enough, but most dwarves in particular strongly disapprove of several surface variations that have attempted to make the condiment sweeter, on the grounds that that taste is going to stick for some time, and there’s nothing worse than having coated the back of your teeth in black, fungal honey for the next four days of your life. Blacktongue is usually sold in little earthen jars that hold about four ounces or so. Trust us, a little bit goes a long way.

Rainbow Fry. A well-known coastal delicacy, rainbow fry are a specialty of street vendors, as their preparation is as much entertainment as food supply. A delicate white-fleshed fish, they are primarily known for the odd quirk that the meat of the fish will spectacularly change colours when heated. Roadside carts where vendors fry large pans full of thinly cut strips are a common sight in many coastal areas, where audiences can watch in fascination as the slivers go from white to emerald green to turquoise blue to shocking purple in the pan. It is generally considered, though, that carts which keep the fish in the pan as it goes through purple into more red and orange hues are there primarily as entertainment, as keeping the fish in the heat past the purple stage makes the flesh very tough and rubbery, and loses much of the quite delicate flavour. The ruby tones are very beautiful, and are often used in noble houses for more ornamental dishes, but eating red rainbow fry is not unlike chewing gristle in both taste and texture.

#fantasy #worldbuilding #street food #off the top of my head #honestly this sort of thing is so fun

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