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themadlu · 4 months

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What Is It In You I Cannot See?

Astarion fails to sneak on Zelie, but somehow he still ends up with a full belly. Nothing asked of him. He is scared of her and angry at her at the same time. He is also happy. He is in uncharted territory. He doesn't understand if she'll be his salvation or his doom.

He also hates dogs.

TW: references to past SA (nothing graphic), mentions of animal cruelty (if him wanting to eat Scratch counts).

This is a oneshot from a longer fic idea. Zelie is my named Tav OC, but here there is no physical description, aside from eye colour.

Tagging @spacebarbarianweird because she's so talented and kind!

“Remind me again, darling, what are we doing in these godsforsaken woods?”

Astarion had woken up…happy—with a full stomach (He had forgotten what that felt like) and a clear head (He can hear the stern cadence of her sweet, precious blood being pumped through her heart).

His restless reverie made bearable by the life essence he took last night.

No, not took. He was too pathetically weak even for the basic functions of a vampire. It was a gift.

This is a gift—I won’t forget it.

He said as much, head tilted towards her, looking, but not seeing; he couldn’t bear to actually stare at the person he was indebted to now.

She doesn’t call it debt. There are enough ill-guided, wretched ideas floating in that head of hers, all about justice and fairness and respect, that she hasn’t asked anything in return for her donation.

Yet.

She will. If he thinks too long about it, it terrifies him.

No one hands their life blood over to anyone (to a monster) without a sizeable payback in mind. Either that, or he’ll have to start believing all her ideals (Her actions) are not an elaborate set of masks to trick him into trust (She’d be more idiotic than he thought, in that case).

Still, her confounding attitude worked in his favour. Not only he wasn’t left to starve the night before (a novelty in and of itself), but he’ll get future access to his dinner for the foreseeable future.

She said so (“You can feed on me again, IF you swear you won’t hurt others and stick to animals when I’m not around”). Her face carved in stone, unmovable as she always is when establishing her rules. Her boundaries.

(No one ever cared for his boundaries. An object of pleasure doesn't need any.)

But she looked at him like he would actually understand, as if the concept couldn’t be so foreign to him. Something in the world shifted.

Truth be told, you were my first.

Something changes in her eyes too and her expression softens, but doesn’t relent.

“Let’s keep me as the only for now. If you wish to tell the others and any of them are willing to donate their blood too, then you can expand your culinary options.”

What?

He knows she didn’t spill his secret to their companions (Gods forbid, someone as noble as their leader did that), but he assumed she would push him to reveal himself. Why wouldn’t she? She made such a fuss about how wrong lying is, and honesty this and fuck him that, and now she is willfully withholding information from the rest of the group.

Why?

You nearly got us killed at the Grove. Couldn’t keep your little mouth shut with that useless healer about the tadpoles. Foolish idiot, you’ll be our doom.

Was it a test? See what the hungry spawn does and punish him if he makes a mistake?

Astarion has an inkling of what she would like him to do, because it tends to be the total opposite of what he would do. He would continue their little arrangement in private, for as long as possible. He may have been a slave for centuries, but he’s not so daft. Why would a vampire willingly oust himself to a group that includes a literal monster hunter in their midst.

It would be suicidal and he has wished for death more times he can recount—often masked as sensual whimpers and pleas in brothels and alleys—but he doesn’t wish it now.

He won’t let a presumptuous, sheltered human kill him with her righteousness when decades of torture didn’t.

Not now he’s finally out of his grasp.

Not now he can exist in the sun.

Not now that he’s stuck in the mud chatting to a mutt.

Wait, what?

The scene in front of him is dreamlike: their stoic leader is knee deep in the dirt, shiny eyes coaxing a clearly aggressive dog closer, Karlach talking to it as if it were worthy of conversation.

Zélie stares at the mutt as if in a trance. Astarion asks her why they were in the woods in the first place to see if the dog isn’t actually a hypnotising hag.

The mutt snarls at him and he snarls back. Filthy beast.

“Hush, Astarion!” Zélie whispers, “he’s scared. You’ll only scare him more”

He takes notice of the corpse near the dog. Clearly dead. Filthy and stupid beast.

“Sweet thing you are, worrying about it,” he coos.

Hells below, you idiot.

“But may I remind you we are trying to get to a den of vicious goblins to find the blasted druid who can fix our wiggly issue?”

He points at his temple and she gives him the look. They’ve been travelling together for no more than a tenday and he already earned a signature look from her.

All piercing, hardened eyes and the disapproving tilt of the head a mother would give to her child before a good dressing down.

He wonders what his punishment will be, and his scars burn, his hands shake.

He quickly fists them behind his back to hide the tremors (A broken toy is worthless), strikes a casual figure, and something in her gaze mellows. Before it could have stricken down a dragon from the skies, now it would only manage a bear.

It certainly won’t manage a vampire.

He scowls at her, but her attention is already back on the mutt now within arm’s reach.

“You know, Astarion,” she murmurs, petting its fur with a care that had to be an act (Tenderness has no place in any realm), “dogs are beautiful creatures. They feel as much as us.”

Another stroke behind its ears, soft and barely there. Astarion’s own ears twitch.

“They accept our love, our mistakes, our pain, and still stay by our side. Sometimes they even see past our cruelty, so strong is their loyalty. I think you won’t find a more worthy companion.”

Another caress on its muzzle. The hint at complete loyalty to another would normally tear through him ('Remember thou art mine, useless boy'), but Astarion is transfixed by her hands on white fur (Would they touch his own white hair like that?) and his fangs are dangerously close to peeking through his lips.

(Two centuries of utter shit, but the mutt runs across her bare moments after his owner’s died.)

If I was alone, I’d bleed you dry. Animals only, so she said.

Fucking dog befriended, Astarion is ripped from his thoughts as Zélie stops her ministrations and stands up. She bows her head at—

“Scratch. Meet Astarion. Astarion, meet Scratch.”

The dog eyes him for a moment, then barks. Astarion almost hisses back. It’s his dear leader standing in front of him that stops him.

“I know he may look slightly ruffled, Scratch, but I like to think that you can trust him.”

Excuse me?!

She cannot speak with animals, so why the hells is she making polite conversation with it?!

“And you,” eyes on his, he hates how he has to prove that he can hold her look without squirming. She has the gaze of someone used to having a certain level of authority, and it disgusts him. His hands tremble more, nails now digging in his palms.

('You're nothing but a scared, little boy').

The others have moved further along the path, but she whispers it nonetheless, “When I say you should feed on animals, this is clearly not what I mean. Dogs are out of your food chain. Please, Astarion”

He doesn’t remember when it was the last time anyone ever said please to him, when someone kept a secret for him, and it’s enough to shock him into compliance.

“Thank you,” she says, a little smile on her thin lips (it looks foreign on her stone-like face).

She heads along the path without realising what she’s done. As if people handed thank yous around like nothing. He’s seen her thanking others, occasionally: Gale for his food, Shadowheart for the healing, even Lae’zel for not disembowelling a tiefling (How disappointing). But to him?

(He hasn’t done anything, besides taking her blood and her temporary alliance)

He kills and maims what enemies they encounter because he revels in the violence. In the control over another’s life—in not him being the pitiful wretch for once. If she thinks he’s doing it out of some sense of morality, then she’s even more idiotic than he thought.

She could simply be a pathetic moron with a noble soul. One who follows her way even when she doesn’t want to. Even when they do her more harm than good (Shouting a speech on interracial cooperation from a high rock to stop a vicious group of goblins and humans from killing each other was a terrible idea. Surprisingly, she only got scraps from all the arrows flying at her).

No. She isn’t. No one is like that.

Phantom touches on his body remind him of this shit world every second of every day and they will do so for as long as he lives. They all have their motives. She just hides hers beside a very put-together mask. An impressive one, if he can say so.

He falls into step with her as usual (Because he needs to make sure she doesn’t drag them to an unwilling death, because he needs to keep himself in her good graces now she knows his secret) and she acknowledges him with a nod.

The smile is still there—odd. She looks a moment away from giggling, a sound that he didn't think her mouth could form.

Now he needs to know.

“Copper for your thoughts, darling?” he drawls.

What’s going on in that confusing head of yours?

“I just thought—when Scratch said he’d join us at camp. I pictured Withers and him,” a corner of her mouth lifts, “playing catch. ‘Cometh here, oh chosen canine, and followeth thy ball along its rightful path.’”

Her eyes tear up from contained laughter (Have they always been so blue? He just realises one is more of a grey colour), then she coughs a little and her entire face resettles on its usual assessing expression.

"You're a bad influence, Astarion. I don't usually tease my elders, especially not millennia-old ones."

Astarion blinks (So she does have a sense of humour, even if it’s terrible).

He finds himself leaning into her, testing the boundaries. His sultry voice in her ear. "Darling, as your elder, you can tease me all you like. You have my permission." He is rewarded not with a whimper of excitement, but with the look again.

He finds himself suppressing a stray giggle and his hands stop shaking.

#astarion #astarion x tav #astarion x oc #named tav #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 tav #astarion ancunin #baldurs gate astarion #astarion fanfiction #astarion angst #bg3 astarion #save scratch

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mias-back-from-the-dead · 5 months

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this was jangling around in my brain and i had to put it on the internet lest i never know peace (apologies for the spelling mistakes)

#yes i recreated this from scratch and ran it through jpeg saves to smear some artefacts on there #hbomberguy #plagarism and you(tube)

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catpriciousmarjara · 2 months

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Every single day I'm grateful for that time I stumbled on the SVSSS headcanon that while Bingqiu is considered highkey confusing and lowkey cringe in the demon realm, Moshang is known as the Power Couple™. They're the demonic love story. The 'It Couple'.

Just generations of demons sighing over the dramatic and bloody love story of the Northern King and his right hand man plus spymaster, yearning for one of their own filled with such glorious violence and betrayal! A classic childhood friends to lovers narrative filled with ups and downs and copious murder and gore! Love at first sight! The story of the loyal spy who rose up the ranks of the brutal Northern Court, culling his competition while providing vital intel to his liege, all the while infiltrating the most powerful cultivation sect in the world and eventually even becoming a Peak Lord! The slow burn of all slow burns! All kinds of spicy complicated power imbalances! Sexy, unexpected age gaps! Years of heavy plot! Decades of passionate courting! The pinnacle of inter-species forbidden romance! The tale of a man who swore eternal loyalty after falling violently in love at the very first meeting, calling a mere Prince His King in his desire and determination to see his beloved's ascension to the throne that was his birthright, and the Demon Prince who was unexpectedly presented with fierce loyalty in a life that had until then been rife with treachery and grabbed it with both hands and never looked back!

...and there's Junshan and the weird human he keeps around. Somewhat interesting if you're into that teacher-student thing I guess. There were very few deaths. Some bland murders. The trial arc and the self destruct thing plus corpse hoarding was interesting but overall very vanilla. Unseasoned. Not even a proper decade of drama. Kinda boring. And Junshan's half human so they're like Walmart version inter-species romance. But whatever the Emperor's into I guess. His dad was kinda weird too but at least his relationship with that human woman had some kick to it. The new generation just doesn't appreciate a long drawn out painful romance tsk tsk...

Like infinitely grateful to whoever first spawned that headcanon. Never fails to make me laugh. Honestly the most hilarious thing I've ever seen in this fandom. Hope your pillow is always cold and you never stub your toe.

#Also equally funny is how Bingqiu is the peak of romance in the human realm ala Resentment of Chunshan #And any human who heard of Moshang's story would be horrified but also very intrigued by the clusterfuck #Moshang is probably the equivalent of Hannigram across Jianghu #minus the cannibalism #scratch that there was probably cannibalism there somewhere #Shang Qinghua #Mobei Jun #Moshang #Luo Binghe #Shen Qingqiu #Shen Yuan #Bingqiu #Scum Villain's Self Saving System #SVSSS #Renzha Fanpai Zijiu Xitong #RZFZX #Canon Moshang is wild so I know in-universe fanon Moshang is wilder

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felidaefatigue · 2 months

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We find no rest for our weary bones unless we cling to the word of grace. Also on Etsy.

#cat scratches #the locked tomb #harrow the ninth #htn #tlt #harrowhark nonagesimus #i was gunna put a bunch of skeletons but i ran out of disc space and it refused to save anymore so alas #tlt scratches

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chimaerakitten · 2 months

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This year’s ides of March cake! Left more space on top for the writing this year by moving the knives to the sides 😆

I’m bringing it in to work tomorrow, because what is this holiday about, if not accomplishing a big task with your coworkers?

#ides of march #julius caesar #the store bought frosting I got to save time is less shiny and nice than the glaze I made last year but I was busy this week so #cake itself is still from scratch—King Arthur flour devil’s food has got my back always #cake #chocolate cake

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royalarchivist · 4 months

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Pepito: fofoca???

Pac: Fofoca? You know, uh, me and Fit are dating, that's the - like, the last fofoca I can tell you

Mike: YOU STARTED DATING?!

Mike and Pepito react to Pac's news about dating Fit.

[ Subtitle Transcript continued ↓ ]

Pac: Yeah, right? Like, I said to you - [stammers] Y- you - you cut my hair, man!

Mike: No no no no– You said- you said that you- you had met, but you didn't said you were dating, bro! What the fck.

Pepito: QUEEEEEEEEEEEE CUENTAME (WHATTTTT TELL ME)

Pac: Yeah, like, I think after like the first date, I think I'm dating, it's not how that- the things work, right?

Mike: I'm gonna- I'm gonna ask- I'm gonna ask Fit.

Pac: Ask Fit, ask Fit.

[Mike runs off to question Fit]

Pac: Fit like, invited me to... to dinner yesterday, Pepito.

Pepito: mi primera boda :-D (My first wedding :-D)

Pac: Cal- calma, calma, calma, calma- You know? We are– we are baby steps. [Laughs]

Pepito: PASITO A PASITO COMO PEPITO. (Little by little, steps like Pepito)*

Pac: Yes! [Laughs] "Little by little, steps like Pepito." [Starts singing "Despacito" then laughs again.]

* "Pasito a pasito" can also be translated as "little by little" or "step by step," but given the context of what Pepito's saying, "Little by little, steps like Pepito" is a closer translation to what Pepito's actually trying to say.

#Pactw #Mikethelink #Hideduo #FitPac #QSMP #Pepito #Tazercraft #<- Oh my beloved Tazercraft tag how I've missed you #January 10 2024 #Edited #Subtitles #Mike #Pac #Anyways. This was the video I threw a tantrum over yesterday because it got saved over #I just redid the whole thing from scratch #the original was a bit fancier but it's whatever #Something about Mike saying ''I'm gonna ask Fit!'' and running off is so funny to me #Mike cubito's eyes were perfect for this scene at least lol #Portfolio

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umbrvx · 1 year

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a villain’s journey

#scum villain's self saving system #svsss #luo binghe #shen qingqiu #shen yuan #finally read through the official localization.... it sent me right back to where i was when i first got into mxtx in 2019 #back then my art was kind of in a transitional period so even though mxtx had me making art like crazy i didnt like much of it #and nowadays my mxtx tl on twt has all but vanished... but once again these books have rejuvenated me creatively #and i feel like ive progressed enough to do justice for how these stories make me feel. and properly scratch that creative itch #anyways. i hardly ever ramble in tags like this but im so emo about these books and i finally feel creative again #so i hope this is able to spread that joy...! sort of. ehe

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pocket-dragon · 3 months

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Happy Valentines Patch 6 to one Miss Cliffgate (featuring my Tav and Durge making out)

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ohnoitsnoma · 2 months

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angrily drawn ron glenn ship art as promised😡

#so ooc they just become ocs #i don’t know guys i just #they scratch my brain so nice #bouta make a collection of glenn kissing all the dads #scratch that #bouta make a collection of glenn kissing ME #GLENN SAVE ME GLENN #glenn close #ron stampler #dndads #dungeons and daddies #fanart #my art

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incorrectly-quoting-mxtx · 5 months

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So I have theory about Luo Binghe’s fake jade pendant.

(Major spoilers if you haven’t finished the book btw)

I was just reading a fic and author pointed out something about Luo Binghe’s pendant and how it’s a metaphor for Shen Yuan.

Looking back at the book, there are a lot of parallels between Shen Yuan and the necklace.

The pendant is a counterfeit jade carving of the god Guanyin.

Shen Yuan is a counterfeit of Shen Qingqiu, a powerful Peak Lord who dresses in jade colored robes.

Guanyin is noted to be associated with compassion, and Shen Yuan changes the entire fate of the world of Proud Immortal Demon Way by being compassionate.

Luo Bingmei ends his story with his one fake jade pendant while the extras specifically note that Luo Bingge has several real jade necklaces in his possession. Those necklaces are even called out to be fine grade and best money can buy.

Obviously the real jades are a metaphor for Bingge’s harem of peerlessly beautiful women while the fake jade, which has infinitely more value to him, represents Shen Yuan, aka Luo Bingmei’s one and only true love.

However I think there’s more to it than that.

If you track the pendant throughout the book, you’ll notice that Luo Binghe is only ever in possession of the pendant when Shen Yuan isn’t there. In fact, he actually loses the pendant shortly after Shen Yuan transmigrates into Shen Qingqiu. For the rest of the book, the pendant is in Shen Yuan’s possession, only returning to Luo Binghe at the climax.

But here’s the thing that’s strange about that scene: for whatever reason the System could not load the pendant when SQQ tried to summon it. At no other point in the book has the System have a problem loading things in.

So why is it when it does load in, it’s right as Shen Yuan dies for the third time?

My theory is that Shen Yuan is the pendant itself.

Now obviously Shen Yuan comes back and Binghe still has the pendant, but in the last couple scenes of the book, Shen Yuan is always right by Luo Binghe’s side.

Now I know that Shen Yuan was an actual person before dying and becoming Shen Qingqiu, so therefore he isn’t the necklace given human form. So how can Shen Yuan and the pendant be one and the same?

Well let’s go back to the aforementioned climax scene where the System cannot physically summon the pendant until Shen Yuan dies.

Seeing as how the System is essentially an AI and/or a computer program, this kind of issue reminds me of how a computer cannot open a file if another of the exact same file is already running.

I think, that when inserting Shen Yuan into PIDW, the System needed a way to tie his soul into its program and Shen Yuan’s fate to the protagonist. The System needed a physical entity to tie him down so it linked his code/soul to the fake jade pendant. That’s why Luo Binghe loses the pendant so soon after Shen Yuan transmigrates and why the System couldn’t load it in until Shen Yuan’s soul left his body because they’re part of the same file.

This is also evidenced by how when Shen Yuan dies the second time, out of all of his items, only the Jade pendant is kept in his inventory when he wakes up in the Sun and Dew Mushroom body.

Not to mention that Shen Yuan and the pendant have the same effect on Luo Binghe! The pendant has the ability to essientially shock Luo Binghe out of a qi deviation, but is only a one time use. But during Luo Binghe’s first qi deviation, Shen Yuan is able to do the exact same thing but doing so kills him. The pendant reduces Luo Binghe’s anger, and Shen Yuan is the only person in the world Luo Binghe will ever be soft and submittable to.

Tl’dr; The System tied Shen Yuan’s soul to the fake Guanyin pendant.

#I can’t write I’m so sorry #but hey thats just a theory #A SCUM VILLIAN THEORY #thanks for reading #svsss #sorry had to get the Game Theory reference out it was scratching at my brain #Luo binghe #Shen Qingqiu #bingqiu #scum villian’s self saving system #theory #Long post

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