#shut the fuck up old man lmao he's so funny

[inanthesis]

This is a man who 100% looked at Cloud Retainer's mechanisms and had no fucking clue what they did but he trusted her enough to just ramble on about aesthetics to help her sell her old crap off for mora.

#literally he was like 'one may not immediately perceive its purpose but it looks nice' #shut the fuck up old man lmao he's so funny #also him and xianyun both at different times being just like “oh you're not happy?? k bye” #that poor merchant... he didn't need TWO geriatric baddies ganging up on him like that #|| ooc

[matrixbearer2024]

okay hear me out

vox accidentally slips and talks about angel dust like super indirectly he goes like:

Blah blah blah I had a super bad day blah blah blah fuck my life blah blah blah cause val is pissed cause one of his whores- angel I think tried to stand up to him and blah blah blah

and reader is like

wait wait wait ‘tried to stand up to him’? What do u mean? and vox is like trying to make the situation seem not as bad as it looks (he fails epically) and reader gets mad cause how could vox just let his coworker hit his employees??

Muddled Morality

Vox x CollegeStudent!Reader

A/N: Vox ranting and Reader nearly tearing him a new one- I love their dynamic and it's actually really funny for me to write our dear (Y/N)'s on-off confused attraction to the bipedal flatscreen. Like it's so evident that they love this man, but at the same time he does something so stupid it totally shatters the rose-tinted filter he'd got going on. They're already running around in circles at this point with Mr TV head's hesitation to act on his emotions and Reader's absolute obliviousness.

A/N: It gets a little angsty towards the end but they'll be okay soon- I feel like this was just another reality check Vox needed to hear from Reader who wasn't really gonna let his shit slide lmao- anyway, I hope you guys enjoy! As always, happy reading!

Providing the tech overlord with some much needed care was one thing-

But you didn't ever pin him to be a heavy sleeper.

Until now that is.

"Vox. Vox. Wake up. Vox."

You sighed when he made a noise similar to a whine and his arms tightened around you slightly.

You'd be lucky to get out of this now without prying him off you.

Your cuddling session was going extremely well and dandy compared to what you had expected.

It just so happened that after a while, your legs were predictably going numb for staying in the same position for too long.

Not to mention that you were hungry.

"Vooooox. Get uuuuup."

You started to poke at his screen repeatedly when he still didn't react, not caring if it left fingerprints or any marks on the glass.

He deserved it for being so difficult to wake up-

When his screen finally lit up once again to show his face, it kind of took a moment for the overlord to process what was happening.

Especially when he just stared at you wide-eyed and confused before all of a sudden tactlessly shoving you off his lap.

"HEY- WHAT THE HELL DUDE!"

So say he'd gone completely autopilot was probably the understatement of the century.

Vox could barely piece any coherent thoughts together when he noticed what position the both of you were in.

It was way too intimate to merely be friendly in his opinion.

And he didn't even know for how long you both were cuddled up like that.

God could his heart just calm the fuck down?!

You gave up yelling at the overlord when you realized he was kind of spacing out.

He refused to even look at you, just pointedly staring at the floor which for whatever reason seemed more interesting at the time.

What the hell was his problem?!

"A freakin 'thank you' would've been enough you know. Either way, I'm gonna go get something to eat. Do you want anything?"

You rolled your eyes when the overlord just shook his head, you'll bring up some food later for him anyway just in case.

When the door finally shut and you had left-

Vox quickly got up from where he was sitting and started pacing around the room.

He just fell asleep on you right?

It was that and nothing else.

You just comforted him after a stressful day-

That was it.

Just very close and very platonic and friendly cuddling-

"Why, I didn't think you would simply sneak in old chap! That's quite improper of you!"

"YOU MOTHERFUCKING-"

Alastor simply laughed when his rival nearly jumped a foot in the air from his arrival.

It was entertaining seeing the ridiculous picturebox struggle with emotions, all the more when it seemed you were involved in it!

He could easily manipulate you both for entertainment and none would be the wiser.

Besides, struggling with feelings?

They weren't children anymore.

How immature!

"What do you want?"

"Oh I was just checking around the hotel as per usual. By the way, (Y/N) didn't seem to be in the bestest of moods during dinner today. Did you perchance have any part to play in that?"

The radio demon only grinned wider when he saw Vox's expression falter slightly.

Was all that irritation towards him simply for bravado?

This was quite an entertaining exchange indeed!

"Oh fuck off, that's none of your business."

"But it is old friend! I try to ensure the happiness of everyone in the hotel, including your darling dear!"

The flatscreen overlord could see through the bullshit already, but his irritation was already bubbling over into rage.

Alastor just had to get on his nerves as always.

"Don't call them that!"

Vox didn't know why he yelled that retort of all things.

True, he called you a multitude of similar petnames anyway-

But to call you his?

That was just a flat out lie.

And he didn't dare to fool himself into believing it.

"Call them what? Don't tell me a simple nickname is winding you up."

"Quit it Al. I didn't leave Vox alone just so you could come in and antagonize him."

Both overlords suddenly looked to you leaning against the doorframe of your room.

They hadn't noticed your presence in their increasingly heated back and forth.

While you were still a little irritated with your techno companion for ignoring you earlier, you found bigger issues with Alastor just snooping in your room.

Who knows what he could've been doing.

"Charlie's looking for you. So could you kindly get the hell out of my room?"

Alastor merely laughed at your grumpiness, waving you off with his signature grin as he melted back into the shadows.

He had enough playing with you both today, maybe another time.

"Little princess Morningstar isn't really looking for him is she?"

"Nope. But he's definitely one creepy fucker and I wanted him out.

Vox would've laughed at your response if he still didn't feel so awkward.

He just couldn't stop thinking too deeply into the situation you were both in earlier.

"Wanna talk about what happened today? You just zonked out on me a while ago. I didn't think you'd be that tired."

You didn't seem to find any issue with anything though, sitting atop your bed and patting a spot next to you.

And people say he's dense-

"It's been an eventful day, in all the worst possible ways."

Your flatscreen companion eventually sat down next to you and sighed.

He was just overthinking everything.

Might as well try and stay distracted.

"Ah. Valentino again?"

"Hah, if only."

You simply listened to Vox as he went on and ranted about his day.

You were astounded to hear about so many things going wrong in quick succession.

It's like Murphy's law had somehow slapped your techno friend in the face.

'Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.'

Yeah, that seemed pretty accurate.

"Then he stormed my earlier broadcast throwing a fit and bitching about Angel trying to stand up to him-"

Okay, wait.

Hold the fucking phone.

"What do you mean 'trying'?"

Vox's ranting immediately hit the brakes at your question.

He really shouldn't have mentioned that-

Or at least worded it a little differently.

How was he going to explain this to you???

"Doll, you know I mentioned Val doesn't like it when his employees dish out some attitude-"

"And you also mentioned he can be a huge piece of shit. Angel wouldn't lash out unless he was provoked."

You practically had the overlord cornered, your serious gaze was making him squirm.

It was totally different from the gentleness you'd graced him with earlier.

"Vox."

He'd never heard you mention his name that sternly before.

In fact, you were even starting to look a little angry.

Shit.

"(Y/N), what ever happens in the studio is none of my concern-"

"So Angel can't even save himself if Valentino decides to be an abhorrent bastard for the day?! Don't you have fucking cameras everywhere?!"

It was either your words or your pained tone struck a cord in the overlord.

You knew, it was in the way his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes narrowed.

He was attempting to do damage control, and you were just not having it.

"You know, he comes back covered in bruises after those shoots sometimes. As far as I'm concerned despite being a pornstar he's really not supposed to!"

Vox didn't know what was genuinely worse.

The fact he'd unintentionally upset you because of his actions-

Or the fact you cared so much about Angel Dust.

He'd never felt any remorse towards the spider back then, only growing annoyed with him for taking so much of Valentino's attention away.

Even now, despite visiting the hotel and getting to know the others better because of you-

He still didn't bother understanding or even sympathizing with anyone's situation aside from you or himself.

He didn't need to.

Then again, was there even a need to at the start with you?

"Why- just- FUCK! Why can't you fucking care Vox?! Why is it just me?!"

It's because I love you.

The overlord merely scowled at you lecturing him.

Those few words he couldn't bring himself to say.

The courage had quickly evaporated when you grew upset at his nonchalance.

Right.

He didn't care.

And still you were the exception.

His guilt only grew when seeing the pain in your eyes.

Vox knew you made friends with most of the hotel's residents.

Save a certain radio demon-

But he wasn't aware to what extent you cared.

You really were too good for him.

Too good to be down here in hell even.

You only grew more irritated at your companion's silence.

Returning his glare with your own as your hands were furiously balled at your sides.

It took all your focus not to start hitting and swinging at his flatscreen head.

Well, he deserved it-

And still you chose not to.

It wasn't like you hated the special treatment from Vox-

Hell, it was flattering and even outright cute sometimes.

But the fact he could so easily turn a blind eye to some issues he had the power to stop-

You wanted to beat some common sense and human decency into this idiot.

The two of you sat in silence for a while until Vox suddenly got up and headed to the window.

You were about to scoff at him running away from the situation until he spoke.

"I'll see what I can do. But I make no promises."

You didn't see his face but his voice was barely above a whisper.

The overlord's tone wavering and uncertain but masked with irritation.

Not that you had any time to reply when your friend was abruptly gone in a bolt of blue electricity.

Possibly already well on his way back to the tower to care for his hellish empire.

Neither of you ever had an argument this explosive since you were alive.

And even then it was because of something stupid you couldn't remember.

But it wasn't so different compared to now.

So why was your heart aching unbearably-?

You shook your head and stormed out of your room.

Fuck it.

You needed a drink.

#hazbin hotel #vox x reader #vox #get off my screen series #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin vox #vox x you #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin vox x reader #hazbin hotel vox x reader

[whyse7vn]

FUCK MARRY KILL -

[ot7 x reader]

GOLDEN OUT SOON

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

jin: just googled what champagne confetti means and wtf????

jimin: the fact that you had to google that 💀

namjoon: it’s been how long since the song came out?

y/n: wow jin ur really old as hell

💀💀💀💀💀

jin: IM NOT

hobi: bro had to google champagne confetti 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

jin: A LOT of people don’t know what that means

tae: a lot of old people 💀💀💀

jin: can you stop with the skulls

jimin: 💀💀💀💀

jin: i bet jungkook doesn’t even know what that means

jk: i do

why would i say it if i didn’t know it stupid

hobi: jungkook just called u stupid 💀

jin: bye

y/n: i’m turning evil

hobi: yesss feminism 💞💞

jin: how?

y/n: i just am

stay out of women’s business

jk: no guys it’s true she didn’t make me breakfast today 😰😰😰😰😰

yoongi: are you 5? why does she make u breakfast

jk: love

you wouldn’t get it

tae: i love an evil woman

they get me going

if you know what i mean

wink wink

y/n tell them what me you and namjoon did yesterday lol

namjoon: shut up

y/n: if you keep talking i’m going to block

you

tae: baby 💔

she doesn’t mean that guys

jimin: what did you guys do?

y/n: nothing important

hobi: i’ve decided that enhypen are my biggest enemies in life

I HATE THEM

jk: i love jikjin ❤️

namjoon: that was treasure

jk: no

namjoon: ok

jimin: what did enhypen do to you

hobi: exist

i’m not fucking with them

the vibes are off

and there are too many australians

y/n: isn’t it jake the only australian one?

yoongi: why do you know his name

y/n: because i’m nice and remember people’s names

hobi: i’ll literally kill jake like wdym oh naur??? like only i can say that

fucking bitch

UGH

i hate him

jimin: wow ok

namjoon: hoseok be the bigger person here they are kids

hobi: i’m skinny

bigger person?? absolutely not!

jimin: he kinda real for that idk

y/n: LMAO

jin: i’m saying fuck enhypen AND newjeans

hobi: literally

y/n: haters

jimin: NO FUCK NEWJEANS FOR REAL HAD ME DANCING TO ETA

LIKE I’M A MAN

jin: ha

jimin: what’s funny?

jin: 😚

jimin: i literally agreed with you idk why ur trying to fight me rn

jin: i didn’t even say anything

jimin: you didn’t have to

namjoon: ok both of you stop

jk: what if i was a giant meatball

yoongi: that’s nasty

tae: no cuz i get it

are you the meatball or is the meatball you

if you know what i mean

jk: i know

tae: no bro

we know

yoongi: ur sick

both of you are extremely sick

hobi: wish enhypen was sick

with the plague or something

y/n: that’s not nice :(

hobi: i would say i’m sorry

but i’m not

and i don’t lie

i just don’t

jk: guys can we cook rocks

y/n: no

jk: why not

y/n: they are rocks

jk: ok but have you tried

y/n: shut up

jk: yes

hobi: i could so play alexander hamilton

jimin: isn’t that the guy who drives the fast car?

jk: the fast and furious man?

tae: vin diesel????

yoongi: lewis hamilton you fucking idiots

hobi: i’m talking about the founding father

jk: what did ur father find???

namjoon: isn’t that an american thing?

jimin: finding fathers?

y/n: i can find mine

jin: so can i

and last time i’m checked i’m not american

tae: does america think koreans are fatherless?

yoongi: you act like u are don’t blame them tbh

hobi: no guys don’t you know the musical??

jin: about fatherless koreans?

jk: or the car man?

i thought that was a normal movie

did i miss the singing part???

y/n: omg didn’t jimin do a song for fast and furious??

jimin: OMG I DID

namjoon: wait i’m confused

hobi: lin-manuel miranda???

tae: wtf is that

jin: a sauce?

y/n: is that not the lip bite guy

hobi: YES

yoongi: give up hoseok

hobi: i have faith in them

yoongi: don’t

hobi: ur right…

jimin: anyways

tae: thinking hard rn

namjoon: i’m impressed

tae: thank you its the first time i’ve ever done this

i’m fucking with it lowkey

yoongi: go away

tae: can someone ask me what i’m thinking about

jimin: no

tae: since you asked i’ve got a really important question

jk: i’ll answer

tae: no you won’t

hobi: y/n do you want cookies?

y/n: PLEASE

jin: can i have some

hobi: no

jin: :/

tae: y/n

y/n: what

jk: 😍

tae: fuck marry kill

like out of us

rn

this shouldn’t be hard

y/n: ur right it’s not

fuck jin marry hobi kill jimin

tae: just fell to my knees

jimin: kinkyyyy

hobi: 🥺

jin: real!!!!!!!

jk: wait what

yoongi: lol

tae: clutching my chest

namjoon: would you all get a grip

tae: i have a grip on my heart

i’m having a heart attack

ohmygod

it’s fading to black

help me

beep beep beeeeeeeeeeeppp

(i’m dead)

yoongi: thank god

jk: y/n you can kill me yk?

won’t even be mad i swear

like fr

as long as ur thinking of me ha

idm!!!

y/n: but i picked jimin to kill

jk: oh lmao yeah!

you picked jimin

silly me lol

yeah

ur right lol

ha

jimin

yeah

jin: you wanna fuck rn lol?

yoongi: shut up

jin: ur mad

yoongi: i’m not

it’s just a stupid game 😂

jin: EWWW YOONGI JUST USED “😂”

i could throw up

someone kick him

jimin: when you kill me can you do it by strangling me

i feel like that would be the best way to go

namjoon: gross?

hobi: i think we should have a spring wedding that would be SAURRRR cute

y/n: NAURRRR ur so right

jk: ha ha

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

jimin: wow he’s insane

jk: i could die better than you

i would die instantly

i wouldn’t fight back

i wouldn’t struggle

i would just die

jimin: the struggling is the best part

namjoon: stop

yoongi: fucking freaks

tae: she’s in love with me i know it

y/n: did you not just have a heart attack?

tae: can you kiss me like yesterday

y/n: absolutely not!

tae: wow u want me so fucking bad

jin: yesterday?

jimin: let’s a have threesome

hobi: bro can’t count

jimin: no

i just don’t vibe with jin fr

jin: ur such a hater it’s crazy this is why she’s killing you

and fucking ME

jk: LOL

LOOOOOOOOOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLLLLLLLLLL

y/n: guys can we talk about rn gojo pls I’m feeling sentimental

namjoon: who is that?

y/n: sighs looks out window

yoongi: don’t let her start

y/n: gojo was a hero to many a enemy to some a teacher to a few but to me

to me gojo was everything

jin: already don’t care can you come over lol

y/n: you want an in person gojo explanation???

jin: if that is what people are calling head now absolutely!!!!!!!!!!!!

y/n: jin i could cry

i’ll be there 😭🙏🏽

tae: me and joon are here

well like more me than joon but he can come if you want

i’m here babe

pls

don’t go to jin

jimin: wtf are you talking about 💀

jk: she didn’t even kill me guys

wow

like

wow

she didn’t even kill me….

hobi: she married me

jimin: ur clearly not on her mind bro

jk: no ur right

why would i even be on her mind anyways

i’m just a stupid idiot that no one loves

or wants to kill

y/n: get a grip

jk: grip gotten

yoongi: ur all dumb as hell

y/n: don’t be mad i didn’t pick you

yoongi: i’m not

jimin: iM nOt

yoongi: she literally killed you stfu

jimin: so?? at least i was on her mind

jk: WHY DIDNT YOU PICK ME OHMYGODDDDDIDJDJJDJJz nxbsjsh

tae: ok but be fr did you forget how to spell my name y/n be honest

tae: my name is tae

y/n: i know!

jk: i thought it was taehyung?

tae: CAN YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP RN WE HAVE BIGGER ISSUES

jk: i’m sorry ur right

no one loves me

hit me in the head with a shovel

tae: ok LOOOOLLL but out of the remaining people who would you fuck?

y/n: joonie 🙏🏽

yoongi: u think ur so funny

y/n: ?

sorry for speaking my truth

jin: literally

tae: NAMJOON FR????

AFTER ALL I DID

and you pick the man that basically sat behind you the whole time

jin: wait

namjoon: taehyung

tae: WHATEVER

jin: waittttttttttttttttttttt

y/n: let’s not wait actually

jk: y/n are you sure you don’t want to kill me

jimin: shut the hell up

tae: AHHHHHHHZHSHSHSUDUDH

UGHHHHSYSZHSSBDBDN

YOU WANT ME

i hate life

you want me so bad

i know it

FUCK YOU

tae left “GOLDEN OUT SOON”

yoongi: wtf

jimin: wow

hobi: didn’t know it was that srs

jin: i have a theory

namjoon: you don’t

jin: no i definitely do

y/n: shut the fuck up

jin: wow u guys are nasty

yoongi: ????

jk: y/n did you change ur mind?

jimin kicked jk from “ GOLDEN OUT SOON”

—

tags: @piw6n @jvmisvu @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @indigobsessed @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @yojaschill @k4ngelz @junghoseokshusband

#bts crack #bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts imagines #bts fic #bts text #bts × reader #bts x y/n #bts x you #namjoon × reader #jin × reader #yoongi > reader #hoseok × reader #jimin x reader #taehyung × reader #jungkook × reader #bts texts #rm x reader #suga x reader #v × reader #hope × reader #hobi x reader #bts fake chats #bts incorrect texts

[itoshi-s]

i'm sorry i'm sorry i saw your tag about older brother's best friend aiku and i actually SCREAMED because that's such a thought inducing idea . . . he does have that vibe, and he pulls it off so well !! i feel like he fits the trope of someone you've known your whole life but who was always just a bit too old for you to actually spend time with — until you eventually get a bit older too and start getting closer with him and that's when the fun starts yk lmao

i'm- babes i am looking so respectfully this is SO right 🤕

˚୨୧⋆ 𝑛𝑜𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑔𝑖𝑎

wc: 1.3k. cw: slightly suggestive, reader is referred to as sister/might be femcoded, this started as a drabble and well.. we're here now, could be dc potential, could just be some pining ꒰ minors/ageless blogs dni ꒱

you've known aiku since what feels like forever, and he's always had this confident, slightly intimidating aura to him, even back when all three of you were just kids. the age gap between you two wasn't anything crazy, at least not by the time you were both grown adults, but the four years seemed to pose more of a problem back when you were still in school. you were always a bit timid around your brothers friends, palms growing clammy when you'd have to come into his room and call them for dinner or fetch something - but they were only ever nice to you anyway. you were just there, your brother's little sister, perhaps a bit too young to fully understand their jokes or why they're so clumsy when stumbling up the stairs at 3 am. but hey, it's not like you felt bad about it, really.

your brother and his friends were good kids, however - oliver included. never got into too much trouble, always so respectful when coming over and talking to your parents. by the time your brother dropped soccer somewhere in the middle of high school, aiku was already considered a national gem and proudly carried the weight of being japan's hope.

finally about to step into the lifestyle you saw your brother and all his friends engage in for the past few years, you weren't surprised at all to only ever see aiku, the nicest one of the group (the most handsome, too) on the tv screen anymore. he's left for some kind of soccer project, then got scouted by the ubers back in italy, and you truly felt so happy for the boy after everything you've seen him go through. the two of you wasn't exactly close, not at all, but he's always been so kind to you, told you sincere words on how you should never give up your dreams no matter how silly they felt; helped you with the stupid physics project that your brother couldn't figure out for the life of him, either (it runs by blood, after all).

you don't keep in touch with any of the guys, but stumble upon some of them on the streets of your hometown ever so often. you exchange smiles, familiarize each other with what you're up to now, then go off with your day as usual.

(you don't know each of them teases your brother on how well you've grown. he tells them to shut the fuck up every time cause, fuck, the thought alone is gross, and he'd rather kill them than allow you to get involved with either of 'em.)

oliver's the one you see the rarest. it's only natural with his field of work, busier than anything any of you could ever put your minds to. it is kind of funny to see his face on gossip sites, though, so if there's ever any disappointment threatening to build up on you, it works just well to ease it.

the first time you properly meet him again after three or four years is when you just happen to be going through the worst shift you've had in ages, and he's the one most annoying client, casually stepping into the store mere minutes away from closing.

"aiku-kun?" you sound surprised when you make out the familiar features, sharp yet warm eyes flickering under the bright lights when he grins.

he sets the ramune bottle down, pushing it in your direction.

"in the flesh", he chuckles, "you doing night shifts now?" the man asks, almost sounding just as taken aback (one thing he remembers about you is that you've never liked to stay up late, and hated being out when it got dark).

you just give a shrug.

oliver learns you're not silent because you're busy ringing him up or still shocked to see him - you sniff and wipe at your eyes haphazardly and only then does he realize that you're feeling down, and probably cried at the back minutes before he came in.

"they're paying me better for these," you mumble, manicured nail tapping on the register. you don't look up when speaking, too embarrassed to let him see you this messed up when he looks so stupidly handsome. italy treated him well- time, too. "is that a-"

you glance up upon the sound of clinking glass. there's another bottle of soda standing next to his, and it just happens to be your favorite flavor, too.

(he remembered, and as sweet as it is, it's not a big deal. then why are you blushing? why are your palms suddenly clammy, like back in the old times?)

"wrap it up, i'll be waiting outside." oliver offers, thick lashes fluttering as he blinks. almost expectantly, but it's not like he wants to pressure you into agreeing. (it'd be nice, though. and you just happen to be as meek as always, and crumble under the intensity of his gaze instantly - as if that's what his true motive was all along.) "unless you're busy?"

you shake your head, wiping your hands on the back of your jeans. "no, not at all."

you join oliver on a quiet drive down the streets of your neighbourhood, eventually reaching the local view spot that you've spent all too many late nights at - both of you. the only difference's that it's all nostalgia to him, and it's still your very present, a weekly way to hang out - perhaps just following what your older siblings did.

and even though it's your very first time sitting in a car so expensive, the defender's presence is oddly comforting. familiar, in a way, and you only ever realize how much you've missed it when he wordlessly encourages you to open yourself up before him. he's always been so effortlessly charming, inviting in a way - and he still is, even though your heart wants to leap out of your chest when his fingers brush along yours as he helps you push the round marble down.

"so," the brunette clears his throat, "he dumped you over a text?" he knocks the bottle neck of his drink with yours, bicolored gaze seemingly burning through you as he watches you nod.

you hum, taking a sip of the bubbly beverage and looking out the city's panorama. oliver rolls his eyes, rubbing at the nape of his neck and leaning back in his seat.

"that's a real dick move, you know?" he states matter-of-factly, to which you snort, "guys like that don't deserve your tears, kid."

"says who," you quip. from your peripheral, you notice him turn his head back to you. "i've seen the articles, loverboy. m'not sure if you're the best advisor." you tease, cheek resting on top of your bare shoulder as you grin at him.

the man bites back a laugh, canines on show when he smiles to himself and frankly, the sight's making your tummy flutter with an unknown, fairly new feeling, no matter how much you try to ward the butterflies off.

you don't know it yet, and aiku's quite sure of it, actually - there's the exact same sensation bubbling somewhere in his chest, too, when he shamelessly, ravenously takes in the soft glow of your skin, decolletage on show thanks to the tiny spaghetti strap top you're wearing. your eyes are as wide as ever, despite all the burdens and daily struggles simmering behind your affection and interest-blown pupils, and there's this almost dreamy, captivating smile, one that beautifully compliments your now more womanly-like, refined features.

perhaps it's better you don't ever become familiar with the thoughts that start to simmer in his head - you, moaning into his mouth as he steals kisses from those taunting, plush lips of yours, that he's sure currently taste of the artificial sweet pineapple you're sipping on; you, down on your knees in front of him, giving him the same soft, gullible look, on the verge of pleading for all the attention he forwent in the past.

and fuck, he's aware of it - annoyingly so - but oliver has agreed to let go of a few too many things in life already.

you're not about to be one of them, too.

© itoshi-s. do not plagiarize, repost as your own or mention on other sm platforms.

#✧.* zaria writes #oliver aiku x reader #blue lock x reader #aiku oliver x reader #bllk x reader #blue lock x you #bllk x you #blue lock imagines #i got way too into it omg iM SORRY #i promise it was supposed to b just a little silly drabble.. i got carried away:3 he's just so !!!!! UGH #couldn't be helped i guess

[shankschewtoy]

a/n - @countingsheepboi had the idea and now I’m gonna do a part two bec these are funny >:)

Warnings ⚠️ - chaotic g/n reader, crack-ish

Opposites attract p2

- he’s never wanted to cry from stress until now

- he could be just talking to one of his siblings for one second, and when he turns around, you’re gone

- you enjoy messing with him by hanging onto his back so he can never find you until he either uses haki or you scare the absolute shit out of him

- will go to brulee for advice

- he’s the only thing keeping you alive, and you’re singlehandedly shortening his lifespan

- “KURI! Look at this cute mushroom! It’s so small-!” You said, poking the spotted little plant

- it was so squishy and adorable that you decided to stick the whole thing in your mouth to see if it tasted good

- tasted like shit mixed with tree sap

- you choked on it lmao 😭

- “Y/n did you swallow it??”

- whats the ginormous mochi man wearing platform boots with spurs gonna do-?! (as you can see I love his boots a lot lmao)

- he doesn’t want to hurt you but he also doesn’t want you to keep choking so he’s trying to pat your back with two of his fingers gently

- it still hurt

- he swore he could’ve fainted at some point from anxiety

- you’ve unfortunately introduced him to panic attacks

- cannot sleep without knowing you’re in bed, ok, not eating poisonous things, and that you’re not hurt

- yes he’s stressed now, but you’re the only thing that makes him happy

- and so fucking stressed at the same time

- joins therapy with smoker

- he’s already stressed, and now he’s more stressed

- requires screaming into a pillow every once in a while to blow off some steam

- will make bepo or shachi or even Penguin watch over you

- almost every time you manage to magically disappear

- “CAPTAIN Y/N’S GONE-!”

- the amount of energy and effort it’s taking him not to scream is amazing

- he needs to get you a rope for you to hold onto like a kindergartner lmao

- before he even gets to say a word about his plan you’re already beating people’s asses with no second thoughts

- a little part of him becomes more depressed every single time you rush on ahead

- spends all his time on these plans 😭

- inside he secretly appreciates it when you bring over a marine that’s been beaten up by you with a smile

- makes him happy :)

- you’re so thoughtful and he loves that 🙃

- he’s clumsy enough already 💀

- he ends up setting you on fire as well sometimes

- nooo but his devilfruit with your abilities is so overpowered 😭

- no sound is made when you literally rush in and beat every single person up inside the room while Corazon throws a grenade inside when you’re done

- y’all have the epic moment of walking away from the explosion

- and then his coat catches on fire

- will be by your side whenever you need

- you’re the one who’s dragging him along by his coat into danger because he can’t run a single minute without falling

- imagine seeing a 9’7 man getting dragged by someone half his size 💀

- doffy will always be confused as to how you two got together

- 10 year old law is even more stressed now

- poor kid is surrounded by clumsy reckless people lol

- Cora is the type of guy who would run into danger without thinking just because you were right next to him :)

- he didn’t know wtf to do when you ate something poisonous

- “Y/N-! OH GOD- UH- CAN YOU THROW UP?! LAW WHAT DO I DO-?!”

- he is freaking out

- started sobbing thinking you were gonna die, “Y/N I LOVE YOU SO MUCH-“

- “CORA-SAN Y/N’S FINE SHUT UP!”

- he’s now crying out of happiness while suffocating law in a hug

- I think he sobbed for a solid hour straight into poor law’s ears

a/n - poor katakuri :’)

#one piece #one piece x reader #one piece hcs #anime hcs #trafalgar d water law #law x reader #law one piece #law x y/n #corazon x reader #corazon x y/n #corazon one piece #rosinante x reader #donquixote rosinante #katakuri x reader #katakuri x y/n #charlotte katakuri

[queenofallimagines]

oh good gods pls your luciferian hcs made me YELL they’re so good lmao i was side eyeing my altar and space for lucifer the WHOLE TIME

do you think you could do a part two? and if possible, nsfw? if not thats more than okay!! thank you and i hope you’re doing so good!!!

🕷️anon

Absolutely 🕷anon! AND LMAO YEAH I COULD FEEL HIM SIDE EYEING ME ACROSS THE ROOM AS I WROTE THESESGSHSJS asking the old man “why are you like this” whenever lucifer in game does something corny😭 ik he’s sick of me

Lucifer:

- Okay so since part 1 was when you arrived this will be more about day to day life in the next term

- Right off the bat I’m imagining minor petty spats that the other brothers are like…. Wtf is going on here

- Like y’all have been glaring across the table at one another for 30 mins and haven’t spoken a word

- WAY more picky w offerings lmao

- Is literally going to be super extra about it for no reason other than to bother you

- For example! When you give an offering to oshun( African orisha they’re like the HR in the heaven department just above the angel hierarchy) you have to eat a little first bc she was poisoned once so it’s like to show you’re in good faith

- Lucifer will ask you to do that w food you don’t like

- “Eat some”

- “I got this for you-“

- “And I want you to taste some😌”

- “….. do I really I have to???”

- “Are you telling me what to do w MY offering🤨”

- MAKE FUN OF HIM PLEASE ITS SO FUNNY!!

- A lot of people ( white peoples I fear😔) be talking about he only accepts blood offerings and you have to sell your soul or whatever and stuff but literally this man will be giddy over a red candle w gold glitter

- Write all your assignments in sparky pen so when he looks at them he can’t hold back a smile

- As a joke you leave crystals associated with him in his coat pockets but he will never take them out

- Congratulations you played ya self

- You doing the stuff you do for him out of habit will fluster him if you say it

- “Why are you waking up so early to get ready?”

- “Hm? For Lucifer”

- “No im not gunna drink this tea it’s an offering🙄”

- Please don’t tell his brothers he will lock himself in his office💀

- Whenever you google “what can I do for Lucifer” 9/10 the first thing will be taking care of yourself

- So when your self caring w asmo and you go “oh I do this bc Lucifer likes it”

- The house will expose in chaos

- Mammon demanding you tell him your card numbers “for him” LMAO

- They’re all super jealous

- Gotta tell em its nothing personal he’s just always been there for you

- Whew if he reached out to YOU?

- The silence in the house REAL LOUD😭

- Belphegor waking up and going “ik you fucking lying!!!”

- You’re all confused like???

- “…..you said Lucifer… reached out to YOU?”

- “??????yeah????”

- “As in… he ASKED you to work with him?”

- “Yeah, I couldn’t stop thinking about his name and he showed up on my door one day”

- Lmao belphie and mammon are the LOUDEST FR

- “YOU CHOSE A HUMAN?? MR I HATE HUMANS BECAUSE THEYRE WEAK??📸”

- OH SO THERES MORE THAN ONE FAKE BITCH IN THIS HOUSE HUH?”

- lmao he’s sitting there red faced clenching his fist like

- “Listen I can explain”

- He cannot explain😭

- Can’t even say he did it on a whim

- “He really picked me up like a wet cat lmao”

- “Mc I am literally begging you to shut the FUCK up”

- Oh maaaaan diavolo will get a Kick out of this!!

- Solomon is very salty

- “But I can’t get a pact😒😒”

- He’s literally going to double down and bother him more

- “Lucifer you never told me you were taking on disciples🥺”

- “I didn’t think it was that important lord diavolo simply to pass the time”

- Simeon is laughing but internally having the feels bc he’s like 🥹 “even after all this time you still choose to be a guardian angel”

- Will tell you embarrassing stories about him he is now super close to you

- “Lucifer being the lords favorite was also the best one at singing👀 he loved music”

- That’s tru btw lmao Lucifer was like one of the angels who liked singing the most thats what makes humans and angels so alike- love for music and dancing-

- Call him your morning star and he MELTS

- Back to why were really here😌

- Call him that during sex or when you first wake up and he’s on cloud nine

- FUCK HIM DURING GOLDEN HOUR🗣🗣

- He’s literally he rises in the morning for a reason!!

- He will deadass purpose bc imagine riding him as the sun stars peaking over the horizon

- He’s under you moaning looking up at you w the most glazed over love struck eyes

- The sun filtering through the window and hitting him juuuuuuuust right

- That it looks like he has a halo again

- Breathlessly calling your name as you grind down on him

- He barely manages to get out that he’s close before you caress some of his hair out of his face

- “Cum for me then my Morningstar”

- Time freezes for like 16 seconds and his eyes are getting teary

- He hugs you close as he starts rutting his hips into you harder

- Will cum and keep going until he’s about to pass out

- Holding you like a lifeline

- When you can finally breathe and think straight he pulls you in for a kiss

- Literally stealing your breath away

- Will say I love you in the most honest voice ever while smiling at you with teary eyes

- probably won’t stop touching you all day might as well just spend it in bed

-is embarrassed by body worship calling it now

- be HE can do that but if YOU sink to your knees behind his desk and hold eye contact he’s getting nervous

-“just showing my devout gratitude💕”

- embarrassed how fast he finishes

- if you keep doing to overstimulate him he’s putty in your hands

- this man is very soft he will crack at the slightest sign of domestic romance

- bring him coffee when he wakes up?

- he’s already selected a wedding venue

- I always thought it would be cute if he gave you his ring

- HILARIOUS IF HE DOSENT TELL YOU LMAO

- You swing by the celestial realm and it’s crickets and you’re like ??? Fuck is y’all starring at??🤨

- Simeon hums and says that nobody expected lucifer to get married much less to a human. How he was never one to put anything above his responsibilities

- Excuse me?

- “You’re wearing the right of light,yes? He doesn’t just give that to anyone dear. You two are bonded for life now🥰”

- “HELLO????”

#🕷️ anon #my writing #obey me #x black reader #obey me x black reader #x black!reader #lucifer obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #om lucifer #lucifer avatar of pride #lucifer smut #lucifer x reader #obey me nightbringer #obey me scenarios #om lucifer x reader #lucifer x mc #witchy reader #hehehe #love thinking about soft sex w him sometimes #bc he’s so full of emotions and locks that shit away so much #but you’re able to get him to drop the act #catch me crying in the club

[ayyy-pee]

You saying Kishibe call me is so fucking funny LMAO - thought I’d also hop in your inbox and let you know that your writing is great! It’s really impressive how you’re able to write so much consistently and have it just be that good I really don’t know how you do it. And if you’re taking requests I have a general drabble request for anything that has to do with Kishibe + squirting and an age gap - no worries if you aren’t though! :)

LMFAOOOOOOO no because i mean it. i need him to hit my line EXPEDITIOUSLY!!! thank you so much for reading and supporting and enjoying my work! that makes me so glad to hear!

i've literally never written squirting before. like i don't think yall understand. i've written smut like six times ever dlfkjdsk i'm a pretty new writer LMFAO so i hope this is ok!

** Reader is an adult but Kishibe is an ancient annoying grumpy old man!

This fucking old piece of shit. He was going to kill you. He was going to take everything from you and leave you limp and boneless across his desk.

“Shhhhh, I told you to keep it down,” his rough voice commands.

You bite down on your tongue hard, the sharp metallic taste of blood invading your senses. It’s quiet in the office, the end of the workday having sent everyone home…you hope. Somehow, a quick visit to Kishibe’s office ended with you on the edge of his desk with your legs spread wide, knuckles white with your tight grip and your superior hovering over you with his hand between your thighs.

You’ve been going at it for a while now, Kishibe continuously bringing you to your peak only to snatch it away when he feels your legs begin to shake around his hand, feels your walls clamp down on his fingers. He won’t let you cum until he’s ready. Until you’re a writhing puddle beneath him.

“Kishibe…please,” you beg, tears streaming down your face as he’s yanked yet another orgasm out of reach. “Please, please. I want to cum so bad, Kishibe. I need to cum.”

He hums quietly, pressing a kiss to your ear, the smell of liquor hot on his breath. “And that’s the problem with you up and coming devil hunters. So entitled,” he breathes against your skin.

Your eyes flutter closed as he curls his fingers inside of you, a quiet whimper leaving your lips.

“Should I let you cum?”

“Because…” you groan, half from pleasure and half from irritation because it doesn’t fucking matter. No answer is going to be the right one. He’s so damn frustrating…But the reward is worth the suffering.

It’s always like this with you and this old bastard. He’s such an asshole, scares everyone off when he comes stumbling down the halls at work. Drives you crazy when he orders you to do something you hate just so he can see you scowl and tell him to go fuck himself. Then when the halls are empty and it’s quiet in the building, you meet him in his office where he presses you against the floor to ceiling glass window that overlooks the Tokyo skyline…yanks your pants down and makes you cum so hard you see stars.

A sharp curl of Kishibe’s thick fingers makes you gasp loudly, his free hand coming up to shove three fingers past your lips. “Suck,” he orders. And you do as you’re told. He pumps his digits in and out of your hole, the lewd squelching sounds and your rapid breaths the only thing that can be heard. Kishibe presses a tender kiss to your forehead as you squeeze your eyes shut, the sudden display of affection making your heart race, making the coil in your stomach grow tighter.

“I keep telling you to be quiet and you just…” he curls the fingers in your cunt, making you whimper softly as they brush a particularly sensitive spot, “...don’t…” he pumps his digits in and out, in and out, “...listen.”

Kishibe sighs, pressing the fingers in your mouth down on your tongue and you inhale sharply, trying to fight off the urge to gag against his hand. Tears roll freely down your cheeks. His dark eyes stare down at you with no sympathy as you writhe against his hand. You close your eyes, biting back any moans that threaten to escape as Kishibe works his fingers inside of you.

“You want to cum?”

“Mhmm, please,” you hum, your begging muffled against his fingers as you nod enthusiastically. He angles his fingers so that they’re grazing against your g-spot and your muffled moan only makes Kishibe tap against that spot over and over again.

The coil gets tighter, the pooling in your belly gets hotter, your breathing gets harder. You feel your body shuddering. Your brows knit together, you’re almost there. As long as he doesn’t stop.

Eyes still closed, you feel Kishibe pull his thick fingers from the cavern of your mouth and you take a deep breath before you feel his large hand then wrap around your neck, pulling you towards him.

“Look at me,” Kishibe tells you. And you listen. Through watery eyes, you peer up at him. You’re not sure what you expect to see. Maybe his dead eyes still looking at you as though you’re worthless. Or maybe he’ll gaze at you lovingly like you sometimes hope he’ll do when he has you like this; give you something to show he cares about you as more than just his fuck buddy. 

But it’s neither of those. It’s a simple, sly smirk curling at the end of his lips that has you panting, has your thighs shaking, has you falling over the edge. Kishibe leans down, presses his forehead to yours as he fucks his fingers into your pussy and utters the words you’ve been dying to hear all night…“Cum.”

The coil in your belly snaps, your soft walls squeezing and clenching around Kishibe’s fingers as your release oozes from your cunt. And he’s still pumping, still curling, still abusing your g-spot. He has you shaking, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as Kishibe watches you come undone before him. 

“Give me everything,” he grunts, pumping his digits into you faster, the obnoxious smacking sounds of his soaked palm slapping against your drenched cunt filling the space. And then your legs are shaking again, your mouth falling open in a silent scream as yet another orgasm washes over you.

“Good girl,” he whispers, eyes drifting down to your pussy. He curls his fingers inside of you. “Another,” he demands.

You shake your head, panting, gasping for air as you try to catch your breath from back to back releases. You’re so sensitive. You can’t possibly cum again. 

“You can,” Kishibe tells you, as though he’s read your mind. “You can give me one more. I know you can.”

Then he gives you a taste of what you’ve always been looking for from him. He tightens his grip around your neck just a little, pulling you to him as he places a sweet, soft kiss to your lips. And you’re going over the edge again.

“Kishi–ohh–fuck, Kishibe I’m–”

Your walls clamp down on Kishibe’s fingers once more and this time you can’t stop the loud cry that rushes past your lips and straight into Kishibe’s mouth. You can’t stop the way your body convulses on the desk as your third orgasm tears through you and you definitely can’t stop the rush of liquid that shoots from your core, drenching the paperwork beneath your ass on the desk, Kishibe’s hand and the front of his pants.

There’s a momentary silence, save for your harsh breathing.

“Oh?” Is all Kishibe can muster as he stares down at the mess between you two. He looks just as surprised as you do, brows raised high on his forehead. He pulls his fingers from inside of you, a long string of your slick connecting you to each other until he wipes it off on his pants. He steps back, his gaze now examining the puddle on the floor and between your legs.

“Well…I guess it’s good the cleaning crew hasn’t come through yet.”

You can’t do anything but laugh, caught off guard by his sudden humor, but still too frazzled to do much more.

Kishibe hums, unbothered as he reaches into his pocket to take out his flask. He pops it open and throws his head back to take a swig…only to realize it’s empty. Grumbling, he puts it away and glances over at you, still spread wide for him on his desk.

“Fix yourself up while I get changed,” he says as he makes to leave. “I’ll wait for you downstairs. We can go for drinks.”

#kishibe x reader #kishibe hcs #old kishibe x reader #kishibe x you #kishibe smut #this kishibe brainrot will kill me one day #i need him so bad #they didn't have to animate him that way #KISHIBEEEEEE CALL MEEEEEEEEEE #csm kishibe x reader #kishibe x y/n #kishibe x black reader #x black reader #x reader #anime x black reader #anime x reader #kishibe i cannot stop thinking about you #kishibe i'm literally begging #on my knees begging for you to call me

[crgasmpuppet]

penn badgley (circa 2015) x female!reader.

warnings: smut. lmao.

hi i don't know if people even read penn badgley/joe goldberg fics at this point but i am obsessed with this man and wanting to swallow his kidz so. lmk how u like it lol.

-wulf hailey

————

laying on my floor and listening to music louder than most humans should physically be able to withstand is probably one of my favorite past times.

especially with my eyes closed, which might not really be a good idea. there could be a murderer waiting in the shadows at any given moment.

yeah, oka-

"holy shit!"

something knocks at my window and i scramble up and backwards looking for a weapon and end up with a shoe. i mean, at least my reflexes are fast. ish.

i hear a deep laugh come from the window and realize who and what scared the absolute shit out of me. my best friend in the whole world, penn. not to mention my crush for the past 11 years since him and his family moved in next door. another boy-next-door cliche, huh?

i turn down the music to a normal volume and walk to the window, shoe still in hand.

"penn dayton badgley, you scared me half to death!" i scream, smacking him in the arms with every word. he giggles maniacally.

"you should've seen your face! holy shit that was the best thing i've ever seen!"

“you aren't funny." i say, my cheeks burning . i roll my eyes and pull him inside. he falls through the window and lands on his ass, springing to his feet in the blink of an eye.

he's wearing my old, triple sized, brooklyn nets sweater (we have jointly never watched one basketball game in our lives) and a pair of grey sweats. classic.

"cat like reflexes. unlike you." he laughs, grabbing the shoe from my hand. "really?"

"you cant blame me! what weapons would a teenage girl have in her bedroom?"

he gives me a blank stare.

"hey, i wasn't near any of them!"

i sit back on the floor, while penn flicks through my records. he picks a few out and shows them to me. childish gambino, chance the rapper, and the cure.

"what a spread." i say sarcastically.

"whatever, you big bully. pick one."

"definitely the cure. you already knew before you asked."

"i know i just wanted to be cute." he fake pouts as he puts the record on and sits down by my side. plainsong starts to play, and i nod my head to the melody.

"yeah, it's too bad you suck too hard to be cute." i reach up to push his head of scruffy brown hair and he fake dies with his hand over chest.

“how could you say that? now i’m doomed to an eternity aloooooone…”

"get up, hamlet. this isn't theatre." i laugh. "you're so dramatic, it's almost cute."

"you think i'm cuuute." he snickers and pushes me over slightly.

i bob back up. "i said almost."

"yeah, whatever." he says, getting up to turn up the music. i get up to go and sit on my bed, "the grounds really hurting my ass.".

he turns to me and turns back to the record player. "boohoo, how do you want me to fix it for you?"

i cross my arms and pout. "maybe i wanted you to kiss it for me."

"ew, gross. you have cooties." he chuckles as he sits down on my bed, pushing me over to get more room.

"it's not my fault you're so long." i laugh. "maybe you should lose a few inches."

"you know what? you're right. i think some parts of me are too big. i think people might get jealous." he says, cockily.

lovesong starts, and it makes me forget whatever he's talking about. "shut up and let me listen to my music, you fucking nerd. you know this is my favorite!"

he realizes and closes his mouth in the middle of his "hey!". i close my eyes and he does the same.

whenever i'm alone with you

you make me feel like i am home again

whenever i'm alone with you

you make me feel like i am whole again

i feel a thumb brush my cheek, and i open my eyes slowly to see penn's deep brown eyes staring down at me. they almost look black.

"what are you doing?" i choke out, wishing i had never said them in the first place. my cheeks are red hot, and i wish his hand wasn't on it so he couldn't physically feel my embarrassment.

"are you nervous?" he asks, his big brown eyes searching for an answer in the cast expanse of mine.

whenever i'm alone with you

you make me feel like i am young again

i loosen my shoulders, that i didn't even know were tense, and look up at him fully.

"no."

whenever i'm alone with you

you make me feel like i am fun again

as soon as the last ounce of word comes out of my mouth, his mouth has replaced it. his full lips press into mine and i see fireworks going off behind my closed eyes. i squeeze them shut and push into him harder, taking his bottom lip into my teeth and biting it, maybe a little bit hard.

his big eyes open and look at me. i can feel them and i look at him, too. i let go of his lip softly, seeing it pull back to his teeth. it feels like a fucking eternity until he nods and pulls my leg over his till i'm on his lap.

he presses his raw lips into mine, his hands on my hips, squeezing them and leading them slowly onto the bulge in his sweatpants. i can't help but let out a breathy moan, immediately clapping a hand over my mouth.

penn looks up at me with those gorgeous puppy eyes and i forget my fucking middle name. he takes my hand down from my mouth and puts it to his, putting my thumb into it and letting it rest on his bottom teeth. the sight makes me melt into a puddle, and i fall back into his kiss again.

however far away

i will always love you

we both let out little pants, both of our mouths constantly open like we were scared that if we closed them, we would never be able to open them again.

however long i stay

i will always love you

i felt his hand slip down the back of my pants, stopping for a second to grip my ass in the nicest way possible, before his two middle fingers reached my clit. he twirled his fingers around and then slid them up.

"you're so fucking wet." he moans, barely getting the words out. "are you always like this?"

i nod slowly. "it's kind of embarrassing."

he grabs me by the bottom of my chin, pulling me back to his mouth. he slowly circles and teases me, while putting a hand up my shirt to play with my nipple.

he pauses, and pulls back. he puts his thumb up to my mouth, and slides it in. he looks at me with those deep brown eyes, and my mouth closes around his thumb, sucking on it.

he takes it out and rubs the cold wetness on my nipple, making me yelp a little before clapping a hand to my mouth once again.

penn takes my hand down again, looking at me.

"don't cover your mouth. i want to hear all the little things you say when i'm not here."

"penn- holy fuuuck." i squeak out, before he flips me back over to my back and climbs on top of me. he grinds on top of me, his hard dick sliding up to my clit perfectly.

"oh my fucking god, i need to be inside you." he almost whines, his teeth gritted and eyes closed in euphoria.

“please, penn. i need you so bad..” i trail off into sweet nonsense.

he looks at me with a sweet smile. "i've always seen the way you look at me. those pretty eyes. i've always wanted to see them like this."

"like what?" i hesitantly ask.

"hungry for me."

i'm genuinely speechless, and i guess he can tell, so he kisses me with so much animality that i can barely breathe. his lips lead down to my jaw, down my neck until i finally sit up and take my shirt off.

"wow, how smooth." he snickers, planting kisses down and around my chest.

"shut up, penn." i say, breathily. my mind is going a million miles an hour, yet i cant point out a single thought.

in a swift second, my pants are off, with no help to penn, of course. i cant believe this boy can tie his own shoes sometimes.

"what did you say?" he asks, his voice calm and collected.

"i said shut up, penn." i laugh. "you don't scare me."

"i don't wanna scare you." penn whispers, his hand slipping down into my panties. i automatically feel his fingers at my clit, and i feel another hand at my throat.

"i just wanna touch you." he smiles, going down my stomach again and littering it with kisses.

"i wanna feel you." he says kissing my thighs, softly. i buck my hips up with every kiss, a white hot fire between my legs. well, actually 2.

"i wanna love you." he says, looking up at me. his eyelashes tickle my thighs, and i look down at him, my eyes wide.

"and i wanna fucking ravage you."

"p-please." is the only word i can get out before he pushes a long, slender finger inside me.

"oh my fucking god." he moans, his head falling onto my thigh while he pushes his finger in again. "i cant believe you can get this wet."

"it's all f-for you. goddd, it's all for you."

he smiles up at me. "i know. do you know how long i've been waiting for this? god, you're so fucking perfect." he says, sliding his tongue from his fingers up to to my clit and i shudder.

"holy fuck, penn." i moan, running my hands through his long brown hair, gripping onto it and bucking my hips up.

he moans against my pussy, the vibrations shooting up my body, making explosions go off in my mind. he pushes his fingers in and out, sucking on my clit with ease.

he comes back up to kiss me, adding another finger inside me.

"are you ready, baby?" he asks me, sweetly. i nod, a little too aggressively and he chuckles, unbuckling his belt and shucking his pants off and throwing them somewhere to the floor.

he kisses me, his tongue sliding inside my mouth. i suck on it, making him moan into my mouth. he grabs his dick, teasing me with it by sliding it up and down, looking me in the eyes.

he slides it in, slowly, gritting his teeth and breathing out a moan. "you are so fucking beautiful. god, you're so beautiful." he chokes out.

"mmmph, penn. fuck, you're so good- "

"a-ah, fuck baby. you feel so fucking good. i don't ever want to fucking l-leave, fuck, babe." he brings my leg up above my head, going as deep as he can. the headboard is smacking the wall so hard it's nearly chipping at the drywall.

“p-penn, im gonna c-"

"it's okay, baby, i've got you. i-im going to, too, fuck-"

penn's eyes damn near roll back into his head, as he groans out the most guttural and gorgeous moan ever known to man as we both cum at the same time.

"holy fuck, baby, you're gripping me s-so fucking h-hard." he says, his eyes squeezed shut, leaning on top of me and biting my shoulder.

i take a sharp inhale, the pain subsiding to pleasure as i buck my hips up, making penn shudder and moan before he pulls out and lays next to me.

i take time to catch my breath before i feel a pair of arms wrap around me. i look over to see penn looking at me with those big brown doe eyes, and i look away, embarrassed.

he turns my face towards him, closing his eyes and pressing his lips onto mine. i smile into his mouth, our tongues fitting together perfectly.

we pull away at the same time, and he's already smiling at me. he's almost laughing.

"what are you laughing about?" i start laughing because he's laughing.

"nothing, nothing. i just-" he hesitates. "i've been waiting for that for so fucking long." he kisses the top of my head.

"me, too. that was perfect." i respond. i literally cant stop smiling.

it's silent for a little bit. it's a beautiful, comfortable silence.

"would you want to be my girlfriend?" he finally asks.

my eyes widen, and i look back up at him.

“are you serious?" i ask. "i cant tell if you're joking."

he looks at me, his eyebrows furrowed. "are you crazy? i've wanted you since i've moved here. it's definitely fate."

"you're such a fucking nerd." i say, giggling. i kiss him on the forehead.

he gets up to pull on his pants, and walks over to the records he picked out.

"because the internet. of course." i roll my eyes at him.

"you don't get it. donald glover is a musical fucking genius, baby."

he comes back and lays down, pulling me into his arms and resting his head on mine.

no matter what you say or what you do

when i'm alone i'd rather be with you

fuck these other niggas, i'll be right by your side

till 3005

hold up.

#penn badgley #joe goldberg #you

[blackstarchanx3new]

I'm gonna rant about shit I love from my own comic like the cringelord I am:

Mr. "I want a hug" but not from Red. X'D (I ship them too Blue's just a tsundere)

Yes he is more than fine Green, he found a new home in titty's ville.

Green learned shit from Vio lmfao, I love Vaati so much I wanna beat him senseless. (I swear Vaati also comes back through this comic)

Blue's entire existence brings me joy he's so fucking stupid.

Vio's so offended to the point of blushing but just shuts the hell up because he knows it's 100% true- X'D

Shadow link is fun, I referenced Dark Link from Twilight Princess for this expression lol. (He's got some WEIRD faces. X'D) Making him smile like that after was so funny. Like, such a bitch vibes. Dude has no chill. (Referenced Power from Chainsaw man for him sometimes too.)

Continuity from the OG manga: He laughs at them fighting because he's a sadistic creature of darkness and it's genuinely hilarious to him. (I really want Shadow Link to come off as "Still himself" While keeping his character development from the manga. The others haven't gotten a chance to show that they still have theirs cause they're all so frazzled rn.)

Vio's "Wtf are you on" face too.

Shadow Link flexing on the other 3 by just, passing through the door instead of opening it is so funny to me and idk if it's even funny to anyone else. He's such a childish asshole.

I promise Red does stuff later lmao there's this ONE scene I'm so excited about. But he's got ~DEPRESSION~

Before he cracked in pages 45-48 and cried Shadow Link almost broke a few times lmao. My boy's so overwhelmed.

I wanted them to have fun on their date before I slammed them with the reality of their situation lmao. The smashing pots idea was from that old Zelda joke about Link smashing pots but ALSO those rooms you smash shit in to get out anger. (They're venting~)

Cause Vio has a LOT of hair in FSR I like to have Shadow Link mess with it, specifically brushing it out of Vio's face so he can see it.

Mans was crying off and on this entire night. X'D

Lmao. Yes Vio. He's hurt. But not physically. X'D

This is one of my fave panels because he's just THINKING about everything.

Haha was there RELIEF to knowing you wouldn't see him again Vio?~ BECAUSE OF YOUR CRUSHING GUILT!?

This AU has a lot of love. I wish I could make it faster MGHHGhgh TTuTT

#four swords adventures #four swords manga #four swords #loz fsr au #fsr au #loz fsr #zelda four swords #vio link #shadow link #four swords returns #green link #vaati #loz vaati #vaati the wind mage

[hwalyn]

ateez social media au !

summary ! seeing cute boys at work was always a plus but when one of them just so happens to be your partner for your midterm project and add in the fact he thinks you’re a raging bitch to his friends. disaster has to be brewing

pairing ! student!yeosang x fem!oc

genre ! non idol au, university au, angst, enemies to lovers kinda, fluff

feat ! the rest of ateez, maybe some other idols

warnings ! cursing like a lot of it, i’m not that funny lmao, mentions of bullying but it’s v v untrue. . . tba

START ! 06/19/22

END ! . . . 09/10/23

join the taglist here

profiles ! fantastic four the boys™

prologue fr saw an angel

01 don’t be a p*ssy

02 it’s always money

03 bi*ch has 10 a day

04 i will kindly pass away

05 moon best girl

06 stop gatekeeping your coworkers

07 press send

08 credit card numbers </3

09 yeah san ! do better !!

10 please please please pray for me

11 bro….

12 we gottem boys

13 two and a half men

14 star retrograde

15 drogas?

16 i hate you i really do

17 bless up 🙏

18 AYO TWO ???

19 okay ignore me ig

20 i’m just a little dumb

21 vibes are not vibin

22 she was REALLY staring

23 san care me <3

24 i will b word at you

25 as a pisces…. ouch

26 crickets

27 what team

28 stay away rat

29 WOOYOUNG IS HERE

30 good luck exercising

31 rob a bank

32 wooyoung you’re the man

33 shut up loser

34 might be a typo tbh

35 heart been broke

36 betrayal feels like

37 absolutely foul

38 what a fucking bitch

39 timeout

40 WHERE IS SHE GOING ????

41 where have you been, loca

42 off your phone

43 oh….

44 #kqbestperformance

45 six seconds ✎(written)

46 that was tragic

47 WHY DID SHE PUNCH HIM ????

48 so i was right

49 a HUGE dick

50 i might cry

51 pancake, waffle twitter meme

52 how the tables have turned

53 kicked out

54 attempt one

55 pathetic

56 don’t you dare

57 fine rainy day

58 um we….

59 life’s motto

59.5 classic katie

60 she misses me

61 IM SORRY ✎(written)

62 the bean bags

63 2:57

64 good mood :)

65 too soon

66 more than once ???

67 pause the music

68 been dumped

69 shooting stars ✎(written)

70 gossip girls :(

71 birds…..

72 five years old

73 nasty rat

74 sit and stare

75 FEELINGS

76 hey girlie

77 juiciest tea

78 not funny didn’t laugh !

79 kitkats

#is tagging normally this hard????? #ateez smau #ateez x oc #ateez fanfic #ateez scenarios #ateez x reader #ateez imagines #yeosang x oc #yeosang smau #college student yeosang #socmed au #ateez fluff #ateez yeosang #kang yeosang #ateez college au #yeosang #ateez social media au #kpop social media au #kpop smau #ateez socmed au #sweeter than candy !

[futurecorps3]

♡ 𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐄𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐌𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐧 ♡

Masterlist <3 ⚠️ASKS ARE OPEN!!! ⚠️(Check masterlist to see which fandoms I write for and if what you want isn't there, submit it anyway! I'm looking for some new fictional ppl to fall in love with hehe)

A/N: I am utterly in love with my beautiful, beautiful boy. Have this.

𝙳𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝙴𝚍𝚍𝚒𝚎 𝙼𝚞𝚗𝚜𝚘𝚗:

𖤐 Hear me the fuck out 𖤐 F O R E H E A D K I S S E S 𖤐 From both parts, really. 𖤐 It's kind of your thing; your way of saying goodbye and hello. 𖤐 Listen, my man is 5'10 which means he totally wraps an arm around your arms/head and kisses you on the forehead then keeps it draped around you to hug you and have you close and- 𖤐 He'd totally sneak you out of your house late at night. 𖤐 And then proceed to sneak you back in, maybe even staying the night if he's feeling riskier than usual 𖤐 Of course, seeing Corroded Coffin play most weeks 𖤐 Teaching. You. How. To. Play. Guitar. 𖤐 I KNOW IT'S A VERY COMMON AND USED HC BUT IT WOULD SOOOOO HAPPEN 𖤐 Now, if you know how to play an instrument or sing 𖤐 He's going to have you up in that "stage" every single week. 𖤐 Maybe not for the entire show but he'd have you play/sing one or two songs <3 𖤐 "How can you be this fucking hot?" -Him after literally any display of your musical abilities 𖤐 The best worst part is that he does become way more clingy after a performance 𖤐 When his uncle has to work upstate or isn't home too often you live in the trailer. 𖤐 Eddie lives for it 𖤐 He lives for you cooking breakfast with him while blasting music from his old radio 𖤐 He lives for morning cuddles 𖤐 He lives for seeing you walk around in his shirts and underwear, crumbs of the pizza you ordered all over your clothes 𖤐 He lives for the naps you take on the couch with your body pressed against his while you were are watching a movie 𖤐 He's a simple man who loves the simple things yk 𖤐 Dancing around with him when cleaning up after the kids on hellfire club days 𖤐 Him trying to explain to you how to play Dnd 𖤐 You trying to understand 𖤐 If you succeed, well, hellfire afternoons just became even more interesting 𖤐 If you fail, it's okay, he'll explain again if you want to or leave it if you just don't feel like it 𖤐 He's okay because either way you'll be sitting on his lap while he terrorises those children 𖤐 Lots of dates in places you aren't really supposed to be in hehe 𖤐 Swimming pools at night, empty parking lots or anything you two can think of that isn't too dangerous/scary 𖤐 The type of guy who'd sneak a hand in your jeans' back pocket <3 𖤐 Or holding you by the waist 𖤐 Or an arm draped around your shoulders 𖤐 Always carrying extra hair-ties for you 𖤐 OH MY GOD 𖤐 Letting you do his hair. 𖤐 I think he wouldn't like crazy up-dos but definitely a ponytail or bun to keep his hair out of the way in the daily 𖤐 Studying together because '86 is the year baby 𖤐 Eddie is not dumb, it's just the educational system's way of teaching isn't made for him 𖤐 So when you find how to explain things to him in a way that's crystal clear, he'll catch on pretty quickly 𖤐 Passing notes back on forth all class 𖤐 You've gotten in trouble for it more than once 𖤐 And that's just because if you're not professing undying love for each other, you're making fun of teachers 𖤐 Except they don't find your jokes funny, lmao 𖤐 You totally own a hellfire shirt and match it up with one of his jackets whenever you wear it 𖤐 And yes, wearing his band shirts. 𖤐 Cheesy pickup lines even when you're already dating 𖤐 "So, aside from taking my breath away, what do you do for a living?" 𖤐  "I’ve heard it said that kissing is the ‘language of love.’ Would you care to have a conversation with me sometime?" 𖤐  Yk that type of shit 𖤐  You'd be lying if you said you hate them, they always make you smile and with a need to shut him up with kisses 𖤐  I don't know how to explain it, but your love is like this song. 𖤐 Dating Eddie Munson is like having your soul warmly cuddled 𖤐 Dating Eddie Munson is having a boy who worships the ground you walk on 𖤐 Dating Eddie Munson is late night conversations and long walks through Hawkings when you're feeling down 𖤐 Dating Eddie Munson is being loved 𖤐 And that's all we need sometimes. <3

#eddie munson drabble #Eddie munson x reader #Eddie Munson #Eddie Munson hcs #Eddie Munson headcannons #Eddie Munson fluff #Dating Eddie Munson #dating headcanons #Eddie Munson stranger things #stranger things #st4 volume 2 #eddie munson blurb #Stranger things ff #Eddie Munson ff #Joseph Quinn x reader #joseph quinn x you #Eddie Munson x you #eddie munson my beloved #Eddie Munson fanfiction #Eddie Munson fanfic #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x y/n

[lollytea]

Okay but consider the following: Hunter becoming fandom-famous takes place in the same timeline as Movie.

People don’t really notice who this is at first. His account takes a bit to really get off the ground, and the overlap of people who could recognize the actors in Movie and cosmic frontier cosplayers is not that big but eventually, someone points it out in the comments of his latest pics with Willow. They’re mostly ignored beyond a few comments like hahaha weird or a plain lmao by someone, but the thought is out there now. It’s started.

Someone else notices too. Someone puts a screencap from Movie next to one of their group cosplay pics. More people notice the resemblance. It’s a small group, granted but they sure as hell do exist. Someone even dm’s keikos_husband like “Hey, look at what i found! [Image attached]”. They never get a conclusive response.

The scar thing is the one everyone keeps debating about because spaghetti guy doesn’t have them to the same extent that keikos_husband does. Until hunter posts that pic of his first cosplay. Which, if he’s really that age, matches up perfectly with the timeline of Movie.

Hunter just watches this whole thing like, gus, get over here it’s your fucked up movie again. He’d clarify, but Luz keeps insisting that he not and she thinks it’s really funny, so he doesn’t say anything.

Gus's Fucked Up Movie haunting the narrative more more persistently than Caleb Wittebane is extremely funny to me. Especially considering that these are two different semi-niche Internet corners.

YouTube essayists are like "After years of dormant activity, we've gotten a new lead in the Gus13 case in the form of a micocelebrity in a 90s sci fi book series fandom. Many have theorized that popular cosplayer/writer/prominent voice in the Cosmic Frontier community, Hunter Noceda, also known by his URL Keikos_husband, is the infamous "Spaghetti Guy" in the even more infamous "Movie" But does this theory hold any water? Let's dive in. But first, let's talk about today's sponsor, Hellofresh,"

Gus definitely cosplays a lot too and him and Hunter have done a few O'Bailey and Avery shoots. So Gus has a good chunk of Internet fame of his own. However he probably uses an alias so suspicion is initially nonexistent. Until somebody digs up an old reel Willow posted of their behind-the-scenes process (cleverly editing out the whole part with illusion magic). There's this one bit where the camera focuses on Hunter and Gus in an immature squabble as Willow's voiceover speaks to the viewer. It's hard to decipher and nobody has really cared until now. But now, with the new Gus13 buzz, that little moment has been studied under a microscope and people are now theorizing that Hunter says something along the lines of "Shut up, Gus,"

GUS??

The guy who does the insanely realistic special effects is named Gus???

Hmmmmmmmm.....

The conspiracy boards go crazy. Craft stores all over America are running low on yarn.

Luz keeps reblogging Gus13/Spaghetti Guy is Keikos_husband memes on tumblr and its driving people insane. Like is it a joke or not girl, is it a joke or not??

Willow makes it a million times worse when she posts a selfie of to her story, with Hunter eating dinner in the background, which she captions as "Made my man some spaghetti 🍝 💀"

#Gus's Fucked Up Movie

[leon-on-the-froggy-chair]

this is just a leon on the froggy chair lore post. not a vent at all, just a silly story i felt like sharing. feel free to ignore.

cw: mentions of homophobia/transphobia, that kinda stuff

So lemme set the stage, i was still in school and it was the start of the 2nd semester. And we come out of the school to old men with megaphones in our faces screaming at us calling us homphobic and transphobic slurs. Parading signs littered with radicalist religious propaganda. Essentially shaming those with mental health issues, disabilities, anyone LGBTQ+, women, non white people, "good people"??? (Idk it was on their sign that said BEWARE HELL AWAITS), and anyone not Christian. Quickly figured out they were literal cultists and their main guy was some ugly ass old man with a megaphone.

Law enforcement show up as with school security and school officials. Guess what they do? Thats right. Nothing. See technically it was public property and law permitted these people to yell in the face of minors, condemn them for their identity and threaten them with Hell. And they did nothing and anyone making attempts to counteract them was quickly shut down.

Now this just sounds awful. Because it frankly was. And what could I do about it?

Let me preface with saying this behavior was incredibly stupid esp since i live in a conservative area and I am visibly queer and bROWN. And I wouldn't encourage it. I was not in the best place mentally and frankly didnt give a shit LMAO.

So.

Naturally. With security in my face telling me off for what I was doing and a multitude of white men screaming bigoted rhetoric at me and my friends. I made a sign out of stapled papers in my bag. With a huuuuuuge PP on it. I made several small ones for those who saw and wished to accompany my effort. And I set up right across from them. Because the law that protected them technically protected me.

And see, thanks to my theater kid background, i have MAAAAD vocal projection. And law prohibits ceetain volumes on megaphones. So I preached very loudly, over the megaphone, about how I would clap their God's cheeks so hard they'd hear it through the thunderclaps. And then proceeded to go on about what I would commit upon their holy saints in great explicit detail for an hour. The absurdity of my behavior interrupted their script and they could not get their message out whatsoever. And I know this because when outlets and other students tried to report on what propaganda they were yelling about, no one knew. This routine proceeded for the next week. And quickly their main guy started specifically targetting me. Naturally. My response is to flame him on his clothing choices every time he tries to shame me and shout the lyrics to the big time rush theme. Until I was eventually pulled away because he showed signs of aggression to my statements but yeah. Over the course of 2 weeks and persistent trolling I had discouraged them rather noticeably. Their faces of visible annoyance upon seeing me set up right across from them with my infamous penis sign was truly a treat. And the time they spent in front of the school got shorter and shorter each time they showed up.

Was it annoying? Yeah.

Was it funny as fuck?

Yeah.

This of course. Reached the mayor. And this brings me to why I'm even typing this up. I came back across this video of my local mayor talking shit about me and remarking upon my behavior as crude LMAO. Stating: "back in my day i wasnt even a good kid but i wouldve never talked to an adult that way." In reference to police recording of me being "highly disrespectful" to the main guy when he got in my face. However our mayor made no statement of concern about his aggression or about the cultists being there in general. Only complaint about the behavior of the "kids". Or in other words. Me.

I however was not discouraged and continued until the school finally stepped in under order of the guidance counselor (whomst i was close with from another protest at our school i was involved in. Lore for another time).

I didnt know this would be the last day they showed up. But after days of figuring out the timing to the song. I got in the car with my dAd (who was quite unaware of everything) and blasted 4 big guys. Timing it so they would be subjected to the beat drop and first verse.

But yeah. Funny shit. Most memorable moment of my highschool career. Havent seen em since.

Eventually after things cleared up, a smaller christian community group made their own protest that was supportive of lgbtq+ kids and gave out free hot chocolate. So the community is not all bad.

#leon on the froggy chair lore #i do not encourage anyone to replicate my behavior but i support you if you do LMAO #i am recognized for doing this lmao #not exposing the name of the cult for safety but they were originally based in LA apparently and i am very much not in LA lmao

[whyse7vn]

FOREVER 24 -

[ot7 x reader]

NAMKOOK MONTH!!

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

jin: namjoon be honest are you bald by choice?

namjoon: yes

yoongi: pretty shit choice

jk: namjoons bald?

tae: cancer :/

jk: OMG???

y/n: that’s not funny tae

tae: not cancer

jk: oh…

jimin: why do you sound disappointed

namjoon: why wouldn’t it be by choice

yoongi: cuz it’s a shit choice idk

jin: was wondering if tae shaved ur hair off by accident or something

namjoon: why would that ever happen

jk: why would you choose to be bald?

namjoon: it’s hot

y/n: hot as HELL

hobi: drop it like hot

namjoon: i hate summer

y/n: wait

jimin: we’re talking about temperature btw

hobi: not the seventeen song?

y/n: not namjoon?

tae: i’d get him pregnant if i could

y/n: 🙏🏽

jin: what

tae: i’m a man full of love

yoongi: full of shit

tae: some say i over love actually

i overlove

i overthink

i overfeel

❤️

jimin: you underbathe

jk: i love to bathe

hobi: it doesn’t show

y/n: i have to dress jungkook everyday so he doesn’t embarrass me

jin: that’s sad

yoongi: why would the way he dress effect you

y/n: we live in the same house if i let him dress himself some people might suspect child neglect

jk: neglect

namjoon: the worst part about it is that you let her jungkook

tae: what have i told you about standing up for yourself kookie

jk: i enjoy it actually

tae: stop talking

you can’t keep embarrassing me like this

jk: i’m sorry

tae: if you were sorry you would change

jk: i will change

for you i’ll always change

jimin: get a room?

hobi: is it not jungkooks birthday today?

jk: happy birthday 🎂 💜

oh that’s me lmao

jin: idiot

y/n: it’s tomorrow

jk: when she knows ur birthday 😍

tae: when’s mine lol

namjoon: are we having a party?

yoongi: not coming

jimin: let’s have it at yoongi’s place

yoongi: what

can you not read??

y/n: we can have a sleepover party!!!!

that would be so cute

tae: super cute!!

it would also be cute if you told me when my birthday was loool

jin: give up

i’ll bring drinks

namjoon: i can do snacks

jimin: NO YOU WONT

last time you were on snacks you brought us a whole load of plant based crackers

hobi: i can be snack man

y/n: i can decorate yoongi’s place a bit before

yoongi: wtf is wrong with you all

when i don’t open the door to any of you

y/n: i have a key?

yoongi: you do?

y/n: don’t act like you didn’t know

yoongi: idk what ur talking about

that’s pretty scary actually

jimin: get a room pt 2?

tae: let me in the room lol

when was i born @y/n

jk: all of this for me 🥺🥺

jimin: don’t flatter urself i just want to drink

hobi: what about a cake??

namjoon: i can get one

tae: you can just say the month i was born forget the date lmao

jin: how old is he turning?

jk: 26

jimin: 25???

hobi: i thought he was 23?

namjoon: i think it’s 24

yoongi: 1

y/n: he’s been 24 for like 5 years in a row

jin: somone google it

actually nvm i don’t care enough

namjoon just gonna put 24 on the cake

jk: is it a surprise party?

yoongi: are you stupid?

jimin: yes now close ur eyes ok?

jk: ok

hobi: there’s no way

y/n: jungkook…

yoongi: he is stupid

tae: i’ll give you a hint it ends in ember

namjoon: tae shut up

y/n go tell jungkook to open his eyes

jimin: here comes the fun police guys

y/n: sir yes sir 🫡

tae: lol i’m into that

hobi: tae got a really round head

tae: WTF NO I DONT

my head is perfect

jin: no because i was thinking the same thing it’s BIG as hell too

tae: ur wrong

if anything

yoongi’s head is CRAZY ngl

yoongi: why the fuck did you word it like that

y/n: yoongi and tae fucking omg???

jk: plot twist

jin: look who opened his eyes

jk: it’s me lol

he’s talking about me

cuz my eyes were closed

jimin: we know

hobi: open your eyes - 7th sense nct u

y/n: neo got my back 💚

tae: whose neo why is he touching ur back

is this consensual???

can he fight??

namjoon: you all are getting to old to be acting like this still

hobi: wdym jungkook is only 24?

jimin: maybe he’s talking about jin

jin: BACK OFF NAMJOON UR BALD

namjoon: i’m so tried

jk: i bet ironman is tired rn

yoongi: didn’t he die??

jk: you can be tired in heaven as well yoongi

jimin: beyoncé probably tired rn but she still looks pretty what’s ur excuse namjoon

hobi: bald people can’t be pretty

tae: about to cook guys wish me luck

yoongi: kys

tae: what

jk: keep yourself safe?

yoongi: kill yourself

tae: i’m gonna ignore you

y/n: jungkook shake ass on tiktok

jimin: ew

jk: ok

jin: you literally have no backbone jungkook

jk: ummm yes i do

i am no worm

namjoon: 😕

hobi: if she told you to jump off a cliff would you

yoongi: pls

jk: who

y/n: jungkook jump off a cliff

jk: what cliff

where is it

i’ll do it

jimin: not surprised

hobi: i think every year he decreases in age

jin: that makes a lot of sense

tae: i just deep fired an apple

y/n: why

tae: stay tf out my business

y/n: i hope you never see happiness

namjoon: what time is the party btw?

yoongi: never

jk: happy birthday 💜

hobi: we ride out at dawn

tae: should i bring deep fired apples

jin: i don’t even fuck with you all i won’t lie

y/n: do you think nct will perform for us

tae: sausage fest woah

yoongi: there is something really fucking wrong with you

tae: me and ur mother be fucking lol

yoongi: he’s not invited

someone kick him

nvm i’ll do it

yoongi kicked tae from "namkook month!!"

jk: do you think fish get lonely when they’re alone

jin: you think fish have kinks?

hobi: what if fish were behind the titanic crash

jk: what if they were in front of it

y/n: wow that’s insane

jk: ikr sometimes you have to think outside the box

jimin: you think outside the box constantly!

hobi: bro thinks outside the triangle 💀💀

jin: what does that even mean

jk: thanks guys!!!

namjoon: i asked a question

y/n: are we in school rn?

jin: yk i love a good bit of role play 🙈

yoongi: isn’t it better without him

jin: who’s him?

yoongi: exactly

jimin: i’m him

y/n: i could throw up

jk: do you know the muffin man?

namjoon: can we decide on a time pls

jk: OMG

what if we all just show up and see if we’re all in sync with each other

namjoon: that’s stupid

yoongi: i agree i’m not mentally connected to you guys in anyway shape or form

y/n: yoongi’s lying we talk telepathically all the time

jk: YOU DO???

jimin: ….

hobi: i agree with jungkooks idea

wow

never thought i would say that

wow…

sorry give me a minute guys

jk: take all the time you need bro

yoongi: he just insulted you

jk: WHO?????

jimin: i’ll be there at 6

PM btw

jk: i don’t think you understand what we are doing jimin

ur not supposed to tell us

jimin: stop talking to me

namjoon: 6 ok

fucking finally

y/n: dw jk jimin’s a bit yk…

jk: ohhhhh ok

i’m sorry jimin

6 sounds like a plan wink wink lol

jimin: never fucking wink wink lol at me again you rat

hobi added tae to "namkook month!!"

yoongi: do you hate me

hobi: sorry he wouldn’t stop calling me

i don’t like being harassed

tae: hiii guys did you miss me

yoongi: no

yoongi left "namkook month!!"

jin: if i was to ever pass out it would go like this

heLLLLOOOPPPP

HELPPPP ME PLSS

ITS ALL FADING TO BLACK

HELPPPPP 😩😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😨

GASP

HELP

🫨🙄😵‍💫😵 (that’s my eyes rolling to the back of my head btw)

now i’m passed out £2!2£2&:&&;&;&;&;&;&,&;&;;;8;&&:&&:8:88;87,7,7,£,£,£;&;&;&,7,7,7,77,7,8;&:,&,&&,&,&,&,&,?&,&&?&&&,&,&,&:7,7,7,7;77;£,£;7££;£,,£,7,7,7,&&,&,,’cmnnmmmm98828:&,&,&,&,&:&,&,&,&,£,£,£,£,

and scene

jk: wow that was really good

it really felt like you passed out

jimin: wish you would pass out for real

jimin left “namkook month!!”

hobi: i don’t think it’s healthy that after one conversation everyone just ends up leaving the gc…

namjoon left “namkook month!!”

tae: no but fr who is namkook and why is it their month what a selfish bitch

y/n left “namkook month!!”

hobi: nvm i get it

hobi left “namkook month!!”

tae: lowkey i think you might be the problem jungkook…

jk: you think so?

tae: yeah lol

jk: why can’t you be the problem?

tae: why would i be the problem?

jk: i can’t always be the problem

tae: you seem to make it work

jk: ur not invited anymore

tae: what

jk: to the party

don’t come

ur uninvited

tae: don’t say things you’ll regret jungkook

whose gonna bring the deep fired apples if i don’t come??

jk: i’ll make it work

like i always do

this is goodbye taehyung

bye

jk left “namkook month!!”

tae: what the fuck

—

happy jk day !! clearly this was written yesterday lmao

#bts crack #bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts imagines #bts fic #bts text #bts x reader #bts x y/n #bts x you #namjoon x reader #jin x reader #yoongi x reader #hoseok x reader #jimin x reader #taehyung x reader #jungkook x reader #bts texts #rm x reader #suga x reader #v x reader #jhope x reader #hobi x reader #bts fake chats #bts incorrect texts

[autisticbokutoenthusiast]

pit babe ep 12 stray thoughts

- kentapeteway here we goooo. oh OH??? i need so much more of them you dont understand

- peteway really hitting like pete just wants to help them get out 😕

- this sad ass guitar plucking

- PETE CAN READ MINDS HIM AND WAY ARE LIKE FUCJING FOILS

- peteway really hitting might have to pop over to ao3

- WHO IS TONY GONNA SELL

- jeff’s “aww you’re not too old to give it your all” mdmdjentjrj

- does x hunter have no money cause alan lives alone in a mansion, be honest

- the way north looks at sonic makes me want to eat my computer. he’s constantly shooting his shot good for him

- these absolute clowns. throwing apples at him then bringing up charlie like do you want him to be miserable lmao

- babe’s having kitty thoughts rn isn’t he

- kim being dragged around like the distant cousin who came to see is taking me out i love this lil group NOT THE CHASE

- i’m obsessed with the piano track playing during this conversation does anyone know if they released which instrumentals they use in the soundtrack

- jeff getting kidnapped AGAIN is wild

- idk how i feel about the zipper on kenta’s outfit it looks uncomfy. oh is he having a change of heart? kenta growth moment?? oh no tony saw. his desperate ass is calling winner isnt he....

- pete and way trying their hardest to convince babe kenta can change vs kenta walking in and vowing not to change lol

- will not be commenting on kenta and how he was raised or the cycle or the way he looks at tony or or or or

- he got kenta on the floor crying TONY YOU WILL CRUMBLE

- not the “i’ve never seen you as a son i raised you as a dog” ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

- winners cringe ass is here, someone needed to show him kindness or maybe have gay sex with him and let him have control in a safe environment idk i just know he’s not gonna make it more than a few hours god it’s getting desperate for these guys

- i’m really loving way after losing everything, like this man has changed at a fundamental level i dont know what he'll do next i dont know if he knows what he'll do next he has lost himself he has found the person he thought was gone forever....

- DID WINNER MAKE YHR NOISE OF THE CAR DOOR OPENING HELPP DJEJDJJKEKSK

- and he’s a bulls fan ekejjrjriekek

- why is way just standing there watching babe get his ass kicked go mind control

- kim off to the side sadly staring in space while everyone else talks is so funny to me

- babe and pete in sweats for their heist vs way in his fashion jacket

- winner shut up tony is gonna throttle you

- babe rotting from the inside over missing charlie:

way and his loafers: what are we

- i love tony’s little baby hairs im sorry but they’re kinda hot….

- if Pete and way try hard enough can they explode tony with their minds, like if they work as a team

- babe always getting his head smashed like he should just wear his raceing helmet all the time

ahhhh things are going down next ep!!!!!

#abe watches #pit babe the series

[ragnarokhound]

jaytim dog fic my beloved woof woof

any mention of that fic has me going back and staring at the summary with the same intensity that my cats use while eyeing their bag of treats xD i know i tell you all the time how much i love it but man it feels like an understatement considering you hit so many of my faves with it

:DDD ehehehe I'm always so thrilled to hear it though! I'm forever staring at sit, stay, speak and smh because how the fuck did my silly crackfic grow legs and sprint away from me like it did?? It was supposed to be a pretty short and silly thing I worked on while despairing over other WIPs, and instead it became...what it is lmao. 20k of egregious dramatic irony, introspection and dog shenanigans + 2k of self-indulgent smut, and somehow the longest thing I've written to date skdjfnksl

werewolf fic might outstrip it tho🐺

Eventually, Tim scrapes himself off the catwalk of the abandoned warehouse. It takes him longer than he’d like to admit.

Stephanie doesn’t comment on how long he’d been missing his comm, except to make a terrible Big Bad Wolf joke. 

“Get lost on your way to granny’s house, Red? I hope you didn’t talk to any strangers.”

Tim scowls, grateful that his cowl hides the reddening tips of his ears. “The Little Red Riding Hood jokes stopped being funny about five minutes after they started.”

“No, they’ve always been funny, you’re just too close to the situation.”

His brain assaults him with helpful flashbacks to half an hour ago, demonstrating in technicolor surround-sound just how close to the situation he’s become, and he stifles a hysterical laugh. He ends up sounding a little strangled, and tries to pass it off as irritation. “I am not.”

Thankfully, she doesn’t bother looking at him, occupied with a small assortment of phones on the desk in front of her. “You’re just mad because it means being associated with Red Hood— which, I mean, come on, it’s right there. He did it on purpose, right? There’s no way he didn’t do it on purpose. He wants us to make these jokes.”

He settles easily into the old argument. “First of all, it doesn’t even make sense. How is he the Big Bad Wolf and Little Red Riding Hood at the same time? Second, it’s too easy. Low hanging fruit.”

“‘First of all,’” she says, her voice dipped low and mocking in a shitty imitation of him, “it’s versatile. He could fill either role depending on the situation. You’re the one wearing red and getting chased when you go out all the time, have you tried not being a walking stereotype, maybe? Not to victim-blame here, but it’s like you want to be eaten by the Big Bad Wolf. And second, you’re just mad you didn’t say it first.”

He’d come up with an intelligent rebuttal to that, but he’s busy short-circuiting over eaten by the Big Bad Wolf.

“You’re just shut up.”

“You know I’m right,” she sing-songs triumphantly. “Now get over here and help me crack these guys’ phones.”

#gehehe #jaytim #felinemotif #YOU CHANGED YOUR USERNAME AND I JUST NOTICED #asked and answered #my writing