So I checked AO3 this morning after a couple of days and was greeted by this sight:
I got very excited, this is a huge number! Right now I have one ongoing longfic and a oneshot I posted a couple of days ago that I was very proud of, so I thought some more readers had found them.
Well, I was pretty dismayed to discover that SEVEN of these comments were from someone who proceeded to go through my 182k word longfic and told me all the things they didn't like about it and personally disagreed with.
They started off as maybe a little bit judgmental, but nothing too personal, before culminating in this lovely little comment:
(blocked out potentially triggering content that was properly tagged on AO3)
It seemed to me as though they were disappointed that my fic wasn't what they wanted to read. Which is fine, but that's not the author's problem. It's on you as a reader to curate your own internet experience.
It is so unbelievably rude to go into the comment section of a fic and write something like this. Guess what: I had a beta at the time! I do not need one now. I also don't want to know what you don't like about the fic, nor do I want to be compared to other writers. Fanfic is a hobby, I do this because I love it and I post it online FOR FREE. I do not want unsolicited criticism in any of my comment sections.
Anyway, I wrote this particular 182,000 word fic in 2 months and I'd like to see them try to do the same, perhaps then they could judge others. Do I think I could do a better job now? Yes. Am I still proud of it though? Hell yes! It's my baby and got me back into writing, it proved my own capabilities when it comes to writing.
I've had far more lovely comments than horrible ones and I won't let this one keep me down. But I won't lie and say that it didn't take me aback and wasn't kind of difficult to process. Please don't do this to fanfic authors, we are fans and hobbyists, not professional writers.
Finally, I thought I'd write this handy guide for people who think like this particular commenter:
What To Do If You Don't Like a Fanfic:
Stop reading the fic
Close the fic
Go on with your life
Hope this helps! :)
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My Personal Weatherman Ep 1 Subtitle Corrections
So I've been analysing the way MPW uses language to showcase the dynamic between Segasaki and Yoh - something that I suspect is not quite coming through with the English subs - and decided to watch Ep 1-3 again, with Eng subs this time. I am now going to complain about some of the subtitle and translation choices and edit them way too literally because I'm nerdy like that.
Disclaimer: Everyone translates differently for different audiences. This is not meant to disrespect the official translation team in any way because they are subbing for a more general audience and have different pressures, so don't come at me or them for our different priorities. I'm talking to the particular group of viewers who like this show and/or like Japanese and want to go a step further in interacting with the characters. That said, I'm happy to discuss MY translation choices so please feel free to drop in about any line.
Under cut because this GOT REALLY LONG.
I'm translating directly from the Jp, so sometimes my subs differ only slightly - I will lean towards a more literal translation here because that will allow me to explain my language analysis better in a follow up post so some phrasing may be awkward. Big changes/missing info have been italicised and bolded. Explanations of nuances/connotations have been added where I feel they add to the understanding of the character/scene, and the relevant phrase is marked with * in my translation and the Jp.
Ep 1
[S: だから、漫画つずけりゃいいじゃんって 衣食住の金は保証してやるから おれんとこに来い。んで、その代わり *俺の言うこと全部聞け]
Original: I said, just keep drawing manga. I’ll take care of your food and lodging *expenses, so come to my place. And in return, you’ll do everything I say.
Mine: I said, *it's fine (for you) to continue (being a) manga (artist). I'll take care of the expenses for your *food, clothing and lodging so, come (live) at my place. And, in exchange for that, (you must) *listen to everything I say.
*This whole paragraph is extremely blunt and direct. Every sentence is worded as an order, and this last line especially - the word "listen" is used here to mean "obey" - so this line really translates to, "in exchange for that, (I want you) to obey my every word". The reason it's not been translated this way is that it sounds so strong it borders on corny in English. In Jp though, the connotation of "obey" comes across not in the words but in the extremely strong/direct delivery of the line (contrasted with the extremely nonchalent tone), so it sounds more shocking/overbearing than it does corny. The original translation here works very well actually.
Technically Segasaki introduces himself here as 気象解説員 (weather forecaster) as opposed to 気象予報士 (meteorologist), but in the show's character bios, and when Man-san talks about him later, he's called a meteorologist anyway, so this difference is of absolutely no importance (I'm just anal like that). FYI, in Japan, all qualified meteorologists (who must pass a national exam) can be forecasters, but not all forecasters have this qualification.
[Y: 明日も雨…か*]
Original: More rain tomorrow
Mine: There'll be rain again tomorrow, huh?
*Said with a falling tone, the "huh" here hints that Yoh is likely a little down/disappointed about the rain continuing, and lays the ground for his reaction later about the rainy season.
[M: 人を沼に召喚しといて 何なの?その態度
S: いや むしろ 万さんがかなり能動的に突っ込んできた印象しかないんだけど
M: ごちゃごちゃうるさい ややこしいオタクめ
S: ごめん ややこしくて]
Original:
M: Why summon someone into your otaku pit and act like that?
Y: No, it’s more like you actively intrude into my life
M: You’re being noisy and complicated, you complicated otaku
Y: Sorry for being complicated…
Mine:
M: (You’re the one who) dragged me into this fandom, (so) what’s with that attitude?
Y: No, on the contrary, I have the distinct impression that it was you, Man-san, who pretty much jumped right in of your own volition
M: (You’re) babbling nonsense (you) troublesome otaku
Y: Sorry for being troublesome
[S: めし なに?
Y: あ、しょーしょうがやき]
Original:
S: What do you want for dinner?
Y: Stir-fried ginger
Mine:
S: What's for dinner?
Y: Sho-shogayaki
Shogayaki is a style of cooking meat, usually pork, where you stir fry the meat with ginger. Unless the type of meat is specified, it refers to Pork Stir Fried with Ginger, or Ginger Pork Stir Fry. Very common home cooked dish.
[S: あ、そ] (A, so?)
S: Oh, is that so?
"I see" is a totally ok translation too. "A, so" can mean "Oh I see" or "Oh is that right" or "Oh is that so" etcetc but it has the air of a really bored "Oh, really?/Sure/If you say so" This is why Yoh's reaction after this is "if you aren't interested then don't ask!". This is the first of many times that Segasaki will use this phrase, as we will see in the following episodes, so I'm highlighting it here for now.
No translation issues here - but I just want to point out that it's reeaaally difficult to make tasteless shogayaki hahaha If you've had ginger stir fried in anything you'll know - it's not a meek herb at all. Canonically, Yoh is apparently a really bad cook. This will be pointed out again later, when he makes curry, because again, it's gotta be some kind of talent to make bland japanese curry; it's r*eeeeaally *easy. Anyway, the sauce that Segasaki asks for here is Soy Sauce, which is different from the sauce that he asks for later! Seems like a few people think they're the same thing (also pay attention to the sauce rack position here - Yoh'll will move it closer to himself by their next dinner hahaha)
[Y: ちかいんだよ、いちいち*]
Y: He (leans in) so close, every (damn) time*!
*Not sure if this comes across, but the word for "every time" here is usually associated with slight annoyance, but the way "close" is said here implies Yoh's a little bashful about it.
[Y: 雨、多いな*] (ame, ooi *na...)
Y: Rain...so much of it*
*This has the same feel as the "there'll be rain again tomorrow...huh" that we first saw earlier this episode. The ending particle "~na" bakes in a sigh and a sense of disappointment here (if you didn't notice the utter depression on Yoh's face lol)
[S: めし、まだ?]
S: Food's not ready yet?
See, you don't notice it with the Eng translations because even the most basic Eng grammar will form a complete sentence. In Jp though, Segasaki is once again taking "man of a few words" to the extreme. He has taken out every single part of the sentence he possibly can whilst still keeping it grammatically complete. So this line is literally just "Food, not yet?". He's done this throughout the episode btw - it's why he comes across as so cold/distant.
[Y: やっぱ わかんねえよな]
Mine: As I thought, he doesn't understand...
[Y: 結局 従ってしまう自分の従順さが憎い*]
Original: I hate my obedience, always giving in
Mine: In the end, the obedient part of me that always ends up following his orders - I hate* it
*the word used for "hate" here is "nikui" which is different from the word Yoh uses when he says he "hates (dai kirai)" Segasaki. "dai kirai" is simply the opposite of "dai suki" - to really like, so is more accurately "really dislike" than it is "hate" (even though it is frequently translated as such). "Nikui", which is much stronger word, bringing to mind the idea of a "strong rejection of/detest/disgust for" something.
If you didn't already know, the word "embrace" aka "抱く" here is a euphemism for "to sleep with (somebody).
Shoyu = Soy Sauce. Sauce = worcestershire sauce, unless you're in a tonkatsu shop. Then sauce = tonkatsu sauce (which is a slightly different variation). Don't look at me, I don't make the rules.
(This is very long but I'm going to write the whole monologue here)
[Y: 晴れ予報の度に抱かれて
晴れ なんて単語は 暗いなかで湿っぽく行われる それとは ちぐはぐなイメージなのに。。。
まるでやらしい言葉みたいに 頭に刷り込まれていって
わかってんのか? あんたの口から 予報をきいて どんな気持ちになるか
わかんないんだろうな 一生考えもしないだろうな
だってあんたは 恋人でもない俺に 平気でこんなことができる]
Original:
Every time there’s a sunny forecast, he does it with me
The word sunny
feels out of place for such activity
in a dark and damp room
It’s as if it’s such a lewd word being forced into my mind
Do you understand, how I feel when I hear that word from your mouth?
You probably won’t understand or even think about it for your entire life
You have no problem sleeping with someone you’re not even going out with
Mine:
(He) embraces (me) every time the forecast is sunny
A word like “sunny” … (brings up) a completely different image
from that damp, humid activity taking place in the dark
And yet (to me) it seems like a lewd, obscene word, searing (the image of) itself into my brain
Do you understand? How exactly I feel when I hear the forecast from your mouth?
You probably don't understand, do you? Probably won't ever think about it your entire life, right?
Because you're able to do this with me, (someone)who isn't even your lover, without any issues at all
This line was ad-libbed btw, if you didn't already know (link leads to Kouhei's 16th Aug IG livestream, and his explanation starts around 07:20 mark) They've talked about this a few times on both their IG lives, and Kouhei seems to get prouder about it each time hahaha. In the linked IG, Kouhei said:
(reading a fan comment) "More" was an ad-lib?? I'm gonna die
Kouhei: Yea it was…ah that was…um, Mashiko-kun… Acchan (his nickname for Atsuki) gave me a really good expression so…somehow, (by the time) I realised (what I had done), yes, (by the time) I realised it,I had said it. Well probably saying "by the time I realised it" is weird but… yes. By the time I realised it... "even more"…(I'd wanted him) to open his mouth more so. Yes. That's all.
[S: そこそこ高給取りになる予定*だから]
Original: I'm planning to *become a high earner
Mine: It's likely* that I'm gonna be drawing a pretty decent salary so...
*The exact wording here is actually "(it has been) planned that (I will) become (someone) drawing a pretty decent salary so" - the way this is phrased indicates that this conversation probably happened in Segasaki's last year of university, probably right before he graduated when he already had a job lined up for himself. In Japan, your final year of university is spent interning at companies and if they like you, you'll stay on as a salaried worker, so most graduates will have something lined up before they officially leave university.
[Y: 流されるな]
Y: Don't get swept away (by this)
This phrase is usually used to warn people not to let themselves be swept away/caught up by the latest trends/public perception/societal expectations/their own emotions/panic etc Here, together with his insistence that he's just Segasaki's slave and so obeying him is a natural consequence, and so is sleeping with him (as opposed to Yoh doing it because he likes/wants to) - Yoh is basically telling himself "don't get swept away" by the situation/his feelings because their relationship doesn't mean anything.
[Y: じゃあ、しばらく…ないのか。*slaps face*
しばらくしなくていいんだ!]
Original:
So, it won't be happening, for a while huh? *slaps face*
I'm fine without it for a while, right?
Mine:
So then... there won't be... for a while, huh... *slaps face*
(It should be) "I don't have to do it for a while!"
Again, you can see, Yoh's literally spent this entire episode trying to convince himself that he's not actually in love with Segasaki, and everything he does for Segasaki, be it listening to him, or sleeping with him etc, he does simply because he is fulfilling his end of the bargain as "a slave".
OMFG I FINISHED THAT WAS TOO DAMN LONG.
I will finish Ep 2 & 3 before I do the language analysis post. But first... I need a break....
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Will enby Helsknight/trans Tanguish/top surgery scars/stubborn avoidant Welsknight in a gender crisis make it into the main story of RnS? Like, a full acknowledgment of it? Because yes, us on tumblr are aware (and happily bully RnS Wels for it) but I’m curious to how it may be brought up in the main storyline instead of rambles and drabbles. (Don’t get me wrong, those rambles and drabbles are what get me through the day. But my best friend, who isn’t in the MCYT fandom whatsoever, just caught up with RnS and doesn’t use tumblr, and besides spamming her with tumblr posts I wanna know how much I can revel in the glory of the skrunkles with her!)
That is a great question, actually. And the answer is I don't really know.
So this is one of the downsides to writing things chapter by chapter. If I had gone into this going "oh heck yeah they're trans", this would've come up in the plot way sooner. It's nice information 1) for all the trans folks reading and 2) because it has the potential to inform the themes in the narrative. This whole story is about two chief things I think: death [the inevitability of] and identity [what defines you and why]. Why should you care if literally no one else (including the universe) does? That would be so cool to speak about in terms of a trans allegory! Why do you care about gender when it's just one thing in a world of crazy things? Or at the very least, how does it inform your identity? But this is a change I made on a whim suddenly, and I know Exactly Where I Want This Plot To Go, so trans topics and allegories as Plot Points probably won't happen.
On the more technical side of introducing trans characters -- how do you do that without just dropping "oh btw they're trans" in? Like, how do you make it a relevant thing to talk about, that doesn't feel forced or shoehorned in, especially this late in the story? Probably me overthinking, but I read it done wrong so often. It gets tired. And if I ever work on my original stories, there are trans characters in there! If I can figure out how to Do It Well in a fanfic, then I can figure out how to do it in original fiction someday maybe. So I kinda wanna take the introduction seriously? I've actually been thinking about it so much I've thought about rewriting the intro to the next chapter ahaha [it already needs rewritten in general, there's a lot going on, but the intro was going to be Helsknight waking up from something, and he sleeps shirtless, and not addressing top surgery scars then would be kinda silly I think.]
I can say at the very least, Gender Avoidant Wels probably won't factor in the story much. He is a character, but I don't think he'll become Enough of a character to faithfully address something like a trans self discovery arc. At best his issues with gender might be mentioned in passing.
Sorry! I know you probably want a better answer! My answer is basically: I don't know I'm still working on it. I want it to be there, but the capacity it's there is undecided.
That being said, I've been sitting on this glorious ask since the shenanigans started and the temptation to just Do That grows every time I read it:
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