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#sir im not your strongest soldier
mondverde · 2 months
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god bless lee chan
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lunaticamic · 19 days
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“they clearly favour sainz” my man didn’t get the seat for 2025. why would they favour him??? “so he can go and have options for other top teams” (something i read with my fucking eyes on this hellsite) i don’t know how to explain it to you that ferrari doesn’t care😭 it’s not like they owe sainz something. he was faster and he went for the gap. y’all wouldn’t have survived f1 pre 2000
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lebrookestore · 2 years
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everyone else posted baby pictures but he makes me suffer
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cyancherub · 2 years
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My first time having anal sex was with a nine and a half inch white boy 🫢 it was pass around dick but I do still yearn for it on occasion, I will admit ✊😔
NO BECAUSE WHAT R THEY FEEDING THE YT BOYS WHY ARE THEY SO BIG
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im-yn-suckers · 1 month
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riki bf habits?
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yes yes
teases abt ur height bc bro is shaq
so we know that hes a personn who loves to play with hair and loves to have his hair played with but did you know he loves washing ur hair and having his hair washed
his prescence is extremely calming and he can say the same about you
has cute nicknames for the plushies you guys adopted and call your children
'i saw this at the mall with jake and i thought it was cute like u!!' IMAGINE WIHT A BIG SMILE
'babe what do you wanna do?' 'idk alsong as im wit u' :(
ALWAYS makes sure u eat bc why would u starve ur bootiful body 'baby!! i ate today!!!' 'really?? Im so proud of you princess!!'
remembers everything abt u. u met three years ago and brought up u like the scent of vanilla?? three years laterbuys you a vanilla scented perfume
THE PETNAMES WUTH THIS MAN "angel, can u pass the salt?" ''princess can you hand me my phone'' ''cutie do u have lip balm'' ''baby/babe what time is it'' now the following only come out when hes sleepy or when no one else is around; ''love stay here its still early'' ''no, my love, we cant make cake right now' 'but its cake and no ones here to stop us' 'ITS THREE AM'
sends u texts w memes that say shit ilke 'this apple is yellow, if u see pink i fine asf mami' to annoy you
grabs ur waist. his arms are a belt. his personal hand warmer. sticks his hand underur shirt 4 shore!
has a soft spot for u and only u
imaginecuddling w the human koala and he whispers 'kiss me loser' wtv u say gorgeous
sends u reels and tiktoks of spiderman and hellokitty saying us
TV GIRL BRACELETS ARGUE W THE WALL
has matvhing promise rings for sure
unlike some ppl, i think hes def the type to write little notes for u
'shut up riki' 'make me bitch' sassy sassy sassy sassy sassy sassy
(over text) y/n; babe can u bring me wayer on ur wayback from taking shit pls?? riki; WAYER 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩 riki; sure angel
ur doing ur work likr a responsible student (manifesting) and 'TALK TO MEEEEEE' 'im studying love' 'idc kiss me l/n y/n'
'cmere pretty girl' while checking u out. laening againsgt the counter trying to distract you from baking
BACKHUGS AND NECK KISSES STFU
'babe' 'hm?' you stare at your phone, not lookint at him 'look at me' you look 'good girl' SIR SIR SIR IM NOT UR STRONGEST SOLDIER
buys u wtv u want bc y shld u suffer w/o 3+ prada bags, a matchcing bulgari serpenti bracelt and ring, dior and chanel makeup etc.
loves u to the end of the world.
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hanniluvi · 10 months
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💭 — ENHYPEN WHEN YOU CALL THEM BRO !
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tysm for requesting anon!! i hope you enjoy <3
warnings : mentions of pet names (like once or twice?), mentions of kissing
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🖇️ — HEESEUNG
— at first he’s chill and thinks it was just a slip up
— cause he knows you’ve been hanging out with riki and jungwon too much lately so he lets it slide at first
— but like once he hears it again hes like okay something is up . so like he automatically stops everything he’s doing and just stares at you.
— “why do you keep calling me bro?” and you’re like 🤨 cause you thought nothing was wrong about it
— he fr goes on a full rant about why you shouldn’t be calling him bro and only his members could and how you’re only allowed to call the rest bro 😭
— ofc u don’t take him seriously cause he looks cute complaining about it. and he’s like “are you listening.” and you js go “yeah bro i am” and he falls onto his knees SO DRAMATIC FR .
— and you have to apologize millions of times and give him a bunch of kisses which he gladly accepts as a payment <3
— now you know not to do so ! you do it sometimes for fun tho
🖇️ — JAY
— he’s gonna be so quick to spot it out, he just won’t let it slide.
— “bro? really?” automatically raises his eyebrow and starts questioning you . imagine a cartoon character js angrily tapping their foot on the ground , hes like that LMAO
— you just wanted to tease him more so you’re like “what’s wrong with that?”
— “im not your bro, im your boyfriend.” he’s so straightforward with it , it just makes u fall for him again.
— he feels happy when he manages to convince you to stop doing it doesn’t tell you how relieved he felt LMFAO
— and without you knowing he goes onto scolding heeseung bc you’ve been hanging around him lately LMAO
— “heeseung they been saying bro a lot.” “okayyy jay what does this have to do with me..” “you’re the problem in our relationship.” “WHAT?” save heeseung
🖇️ — JAKE
— gets real pouty and confused real quick after hearing it more than once. like he’s sure that bro is in his vocabulary BUT hearing you call him bro ??? its just a no no.
— “okay i think that’s enough.” and ure like enough of what .. and hes going on a rant for real BUT hes shy about it … like sir spit it out !!!
— you were understanding untillll it started slipping out again. he’s like devastated and goes on saying “layla would never call me bro” LIKE AS IF HIS DOG HAD ANY PART TO THIS??
— now you only call him bro for fun or like when he gets u mad on purpose .. it became an advantage bc he switches up SO FAST just for you to not call him that anymore. love him <3
— starts using more pet names with you so that you’re reminded that he’s your lover and not some bro </3
— “love you snookums” “okay that’s even worse than your other nickname.” “can’t help it.”
🖇️ — SUNGHOON
— nope he does not take it!! he does not want his own lover to be calling him bro ??
— “do bros do this?” bye he would go to you and kiss you , maybe bring you onto your lap too and js look at you .. or just wrap his arms around your waist .. “i don’t think bros do that.” sir stop this im not ur strongest soldier
— after seeing ur flustered face , he’d grin feeling proud .
— every time you do that, he’s just gonna start becoming really clingy and just touchy
— andddd you can say you call him bro on purpose 😊 he knows
— but he doesn’t care cause that just gives him a reason to just shower you with kisses 😊
🖇️ — SUNOO
— if he’s busy w something and hears you call him bro, he’s whipping his head around so fast when he hears that from you
— literally this emoji 😧 and is like “what did you just say?”
— and you repeat it again and he’s like okay … this is a problem. he racks up ideas on why you would call him that…he thinks real hard as if your relationship with him is falling apart???
— you have to explain how when you’re comfortable w/ someone you call them that. as much as he’s glad you’re comfy with him, he still refuses it
— “i’m glad you feel comfortable with me, but i rather for you to call me something sweet. like love or baby or something. just not bro.”
— gen feels proud that you listened and called something else . smiles like an idiot whenever you called him something sweet! your reward? lots of love from sunoo <3 as if he doesn’t shower you with love everyday
🖇️ — JUNGWON
— oh you already know he’s just gonna laugh it off awkwardly. LIKE REAL AWKWARD
— ha. ha. ha. it’s literally him and funny to imagine
— and you’re like 🤨 cause why tf is he acting like that
— “oh nothing 😊” he’s lying and he’s glad you picked up on it, hoping you’d catch on
— and he starts double taking, maybe he wasn’t being so affectionate as a bf which he is stop and just starts trying to do more physical touch w/ you or any of the love languages you love </3
— you calling him bro got him asking jay for help 😭
— literally only feels better until you call him something else than bro. like he feels like he’s doing well and is proud of it ! like once you call him smth else hes all giggly and like oh 🤭please don’t call him bro in the future </3
🖇️ — NIKI
— okay okay, he knows you and him joke around a lot, but you’re getting a LITTLE too comfortable
— like the person he loves ??? besides his other members ??? calling him bro ???
— like he wouldn’t be too vocal on it until you’ve said it to him too much . he would try to show you how he doesn’t like it as much but you don’t seem to pick up on it.
— so what does he do? hold your hand / ask for a hug after you do! surely you’ll get it 😊 and trust me you do.
— “ki why the hell are you holding onto my hand so tight?” “ i dunno, why am i?”
— once you find out, you tease him sm, leaving him with a red face and telling you to shut up.
— but once you stop, he feels relieved <3 love him lots please
— just starts becoming very clingy to you now :)
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💭 — i love my boyfriends 😊
ENHA PERM TAGLIST — @flwoie @ixomiyu @yenavrse @shinsou-rii @bearseulgs @ilovewonyo @yenqa @dimplewonie @bubblytaetae @wtfhyuck @ineedaherosavemeenow @starcubes @starikizs @wonioml @chirokookie @xiaoderrrr @neozon3nha @en-chantedtomeetyou @millksea @enhaz1 @eundiarys @woon2u @ja4hyvn @judeduartewannabe @j-wyoung @thia-aep @vampcharxter @softpia @officiallyjaehyuns @itsactuallylina @hsheart @sweetjaemss @ahnneyong @hanienie @jwnghyuns @kpoplover718 @jiawji @rikizm @haknom @yeokii @wvnkoi @tnyhees @teddywonss @shinunoga-iie-wa @flwrshee
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bunnakit · 9 months
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OH SHIT ITS LAWS OF ATTRACTION 4 TODAY
just spewing my thoughts about the ep under the read more
tinn literally eating ice cream in front of his daughter when shes in trouble LMAO i love dad tinn so much
"dont do anything that goes against this" and points to his heart OH I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT SENTIMENT LATER SIR TINN FIGHT SCENE TINN FIGHT SCENE TINN FIGHT SCEEN IM SO FERAL
god thee youre so in love with tanthai and i love you so much, you hopelessly devoted fool
HNNNGNS CHARN SCOLDING TINN ALMOST THE SAME WAY TINN SCOLDED CHARN ABOUT THE FIRE YESSSS THE TENSION WHY DONT YOU TWO KISS ABOUT IT
HOLY SHIT CHARN - CHARN YOU BEAUTIFUL BITCH YOU TOLD THE TRUTH IM SO PROUD OF YOU BABY BOY
tinn im so mad at you for getting defensive, we could've had homoerotic patching up scene with charn, get him grandma
WHOO PROTECTIVE CHARN YESSSS PROTECT TINN - but also you fucked up bc now thattep knows and that's not good at all
THE GIRLS ARE COMMUNICATINGGG YESSS
i love the slow mo "this idiot is flapping his hands over my soup, i think i love him"
OH IS THIS GONNA BE THE SHIRT TIE SCENE PLEASEPRETTY PLEASE BE THE SHIRT TIE SCENE
OH IT IS AAAAAAAAA I SWEAR TO GOD when these two finally kiss i will explode into a thousand pieces
TINN I WILL FUCKING GRAB YOU AND SHAKE YOU LIKE A RAGDOLL BUT ALSO WHAT A BOSS MOVE MY BOY KNOWS HES HOT AF
oh mommies hello ive missed you very much AND THEYRE MATCHING
OHH TINN OH YES AAAHHH LIKE IM SURE THIS WAS PLANNED BUT STILL AAAAA SEXY BEAUTIFUL MAN
i like beer was dtf tho, he was like TWO CAKES YAY
GOD THEYRE FLIRTING SO MUCH HHHGGGGG PLEASE I AM NOT GOD'S STRONGEST SOLDIER THE PINKY TOUCH
clawing my own face off THEYRE SO CUTE YOUR HONOR
OH AND THE AND THE PARALLELS OH IM GONNA CRY THEE IM ROOTING FOR YOU BABY
AND CALLING HIM BC HE SAW THE LIGHT ON MY BOY HHHGHGHGH SOBBING
askldjglkajs they both looked back aughguhguhg
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v-anrouge · 1 year
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SIR PLEASE ONE CHANCE 🫶🫶
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JWJDJEJAJDQUWJWHDHDW GOD I AM NOT YOUR STRONGEST SOLDIER IM ON MY KNEES
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bye-bye-firefly · 10 months
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Hello good sir! Nice to see you on this misty moisty morning when foggy was the weather! What’re your favorite DR ships (platonic and romantic)?
okay top ship ever saiouma. SORRY i am a sucker for narrative foils its like the best. and then theres celesgiri we love lesbians and theyre awesome. fuyupeko theyre lovely theyre really truly lovely. komahina is for sure one. as for platonic stuff for sure the training trio they are the best EVER!!!! miu kokichi and keebo are the best. sakura and aoi are worth everything. i for sure see chiaki and hajime as best friends. chiaki hajime and komaeda are like a friend group to me. one thing i never considered until i entered fandom and like consumed art was an ot3 going between kirigiri byakuya and makoto and i was like Actually. Actually. it may not be my favourite but i just wanted to give it a little mention because it is fun to me
if theres something anyone needs to know about me its that i dont generally have a lot of crack ships and it takes a lot for me to write something about a ship. because you will see i have only ever written for saiouma but lets be fucking clear any day if something came to me in my head i would drop everything i would get to work on doing another giant character study like i did for drv3 and then just start writing. however i havent gotten any ideas for my favourite ships other than saiouma and so i have no need to do character studies. in fact i probably wouldnt enjoy going through the entirety of danganronpa or sdr2 without a reason like that where im just doing a character study or something. and i am a SUCKER for popular ships i do go mainstream daily. the thing is that with crack ships i cannot see it like at all so it immediately makes me less likely to ship it. if i cant see it because neither of them interact or neither of them are in the same piece of media im going to be so confused and im probably not going to ship it. im going to see art of it and go what? huh ? okay and move on. that being said crack shippers are our strongest soldiers let it be known they may also be the most deranged of our soldiers. theyre like. the pyro class of fandoms i think. if we are talking in terms of tf2 lore
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hyunverse · 1 year
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yep yep yep ! i feel like that mv was such a turn for skz’s usual stuff like it was just DIFFERENT
samsung ad changbin brought out a side of me that i wish to keep in 😇 the ending part where he was pretty much scolding us in the suit had me all 🤭🤭🤭🤭
AHH THATS COOL AND YAYYYY !! i cannot find oddinary anywhere 😩 hopefully one day tho ! what were ur pulls ??
I LOVE IT SMMMMM ITS SO CUTEEEE !!!! the hyunlix pic 🥲 so soft. i think i’m seeing some lee know on there too 😏😏
kisses for u my love <333 i’m taking a day off from life tmrw LOL i’m rly excited to just do absolutely nothing for once 😎 you up to anything fun ??
- 🐈‍⬛
talking abt god's menu era be making me daydream abt long-haired blonde hyune god... god I am not your strongest soldier i need to stop!!! i just wanna play with his hair </3 his cute blonde coconut hair for maxident was so short lived too :( he looks like vanilla ice cream with that hair, i miss it sm. i miss blonde hyune.
they spiked that ad with something man... i'm thinking it's the fitted black shirt. i would let him absolutely demolish me with insults. like yes! insult me in that tight fitted black shirt! i will listen to u sir!
can we also talk abt superboard minho doe? please... please let's talk abt it. let's talk abt the messy hair and the lazy look and the way he was staring at the camera ONCE AGAIN GOD I AM NOT YOUR STRONGEST SOLDIER! I AM WEAK! WEAKENED BY THE LOOKS OF THESE MEN 🤌i want superboard minho so badly like b my Skater Boyfriend pls i am BEGGING.
I PULLED THE AUSSIE LINE FOR MY POB, AND A MINI FELIX POSTER AND AND CHANGBIN AND CHAN!! the trading pcs i got mainly the ones with han in it lol. i will show u a pic tmr maybe!!! too lazy to get my binder out zzzZZzz. i'm planning to buy another album with my bff too! i'm thinking maybe go live or another version of noeasy.
hehe yep there's lee know there!!! love that man with my heart and soul (if u cant tell already) i swear the hyunlix pic is my luckiest pull. i love it sm!!!
THATS SO GOOD URE TAKING A BREAK!! im thinking i need one too but too busy </3 i have absolutely nothing fun planned T__T maybe i'm gonna online shop LOL i wanna buy a rare beauty blusher so bad!!!!
how's ur day off from life going? hugs 4 u my love!!
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definitelynotcesia · 3 years
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PLEASE SOOBIN'S LOOK TODAY ON MUBANK IS LIKE A PUNISHMENT TO ME COZ I'VE BEEN CRYING ABOUT BEOMGYU HIGHLIGHTS SINCE YESTERDAY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
no sir, im not going to swerve lanes. just peeking, i promise 😭
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pochitastan · 4 years
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Do I Wanna Know?
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songfic based on Do I Wanna Know? by Arctic Monkeys
pairing: levi ackerman x fem!reader
AN: this is my first posted fic so i'm sorry if it's shit. i try to make my fics inclusive and i know not all races blush or show red on their face but the song lyrics start that way so i'm sorry in advance. the effort i put into this is extraordinary im surprised i finished it.-
WARNINGS: LANGUAGE, slow burn, angst (not rlly), SMUT, unprotected sex, biting, overstimulation, light degradation, some choking, light bondage, he makes you cry lol, FLUFF- like wholesome shit? i really made myself feel even lonelier than i already do writing this.
word count- about 10k (this a whole ass book sorry) i don't have caps on purpose
i hope you guys enjoy this mess <3
"have you got color in your cheeks?"
"what?"you turn away from where- who - you were looking at and look at christa, meeting her worried gaze. She puts her hand on your forehead and sighs "are you feeling well y/n? you're burning up." you were completely fine physically, its your emotions making you heated. a foreign feeling was in your chest as you watched a new recruit sucking up to captain levi a little too obviously. "i'm fine christa, i'll be better once i get food in my system." she purses her lips and sighs "atleast let me get you a cool towel, i could use one myself." you curtly nod and turn back towards the scene before you.
do you ever get that fear that you can’t shift the type that sticks around like summat in your teeth?
the new girl, sienna, stands on a chair that she claimed was "wobbly" and "dangerous" so she asked the captain to "keep a hand on her" so she could be steady as she dusts off the top of the bookshelves she was in front of. what an airhead. she was using levi's annual cleaning day to her advantage alright. you lazily mop the floor as you watch how his hand stays on her leg, the bottom half of his face covered with his go to white bandana. his usual bored expression is apparent in his eyes as they trail around his surroundings, meeting yours from a room away. you try to correct your glare and immediately look back down at your mop on the floor. you missed the way his lip quirks up, hidden beneath the mask. 
are there some aces up your sleeve? You weren't jealous, just pissed because of how unnecessarily loud sienna was being. you weren't thinking about what you would do if you were in her place-imagining his hand on your leg. no, you hate him because of how he holds himself with untouchable pride, acting like everyone is beneath him, how all the new recruits practically fan girl over "humanity's strongest." he's not all that. although he's older than you your kill count is quickly catching up to his, not to mention your untouchable skill when it comes to operating your ODM gear. although you two are at each other's necks, you have saved each other's lives on the battle field on multiple occasions- him saying something along the lines of "get your ass back up brat!" and you scolding him with "don't get lazy on me now asshole." no one dared speak to him like that- but when his life had almost ended seconds before, your words helped him snap back into battle mode. this "relationship" began when you first joined the scouts and sought out for him after your first exhibition outside of the walls. of course, this was before you knew how much of a douche the man really is. when you found him your conversation went something like this. "captain, i was wondering if you could teach me how to fight the way you do." "did you not pay attention in training?" "sir, i've seen some of the most dedicated soldiers i know have their limbs severed and be devoured before me. did they not pay attention in training, or were they just not as talented and gifted as you?" truthfully you thought he would smack you away right then and there due to the venom in your voice and blatant disrespect towards him. instead he narrows his eyes slightly "same time tomorrow, you better not be late, brat." you may not know it, but he took an interest in your bold personality, even though he knew it would end up pissing him off. have you no idea that you’re in deep? i’ve dreamt about you nearly every night this week, how many secrets can you keep? your mind wonders to a week ago when the corps returned from a scouting mission in which countless lives were lost. you had seen a titan grab levi by the leg before you swiftly cut the giant baby down. he hid it well, but you saw his limp before he flew off. when you returned to base you couldn't find him anywhere "armin!" you ran towards the boy and he looked at you with wide eyes "y/n you're hurt!" he wasn't wrong. you had gotten your left forearm caught in a titan's jaw, luckily you were able to cut free before your limb was severed or broken- but your limb was still torn open from the titan's large teeth.  armin takes the towel used to wipe his sweat and wraps it around your arm "you need medical-"you interrupt him "armin wheres captain levi?" you needed to remind him of how you saved his life once again, you weren't going to check up on him. no, you didn't want to see how badly his leg was hurt or make sure he really made it back alive. the boy looks around and points to the base "he went inside i- i think he was injur-" "thank you!" you sprint inside finding him in an unused room wrapping his injured leg with gauze. "captain!" now that you're alone with him you don't really know what to do or say, so you settle on standing in the doorway. he abruptly turns to see you standing at the door holding a stained red towel on your injured arm. "shit- you need to go to the medical tent for that dumbass!" god you were pale- your y/e/c eyes were dull from blood loss and you were practically swaying in front of him. he stands- wincing as he puts weight on his bad leg- and pulls you inside closing the door behind him. he sits you on the bed and gets down on his good knee before you. "you don't have time to get back out there- you can barely stand" he pulls the towel from you and throws it on the floor behind him. "shit- what a mess" he curses as he gently grabs your arm- ripping the gauze with his teeth and wrapping your wound. you could hear his deep breathing as you watch him and you start to relax, slightly leaning forward as tiredness starts to overtake you. he finishes his wrapping- the gauze strategically put around your elbow to the palm of your hand. "levi." you can barely keep your eyes open due to the amount of blood you lost. he meets your gaze, his face so close your noses are practically touching. a foreign feeling blooms in your chest as you look at him, his face betraying his usual disinterested expression, instead his brows are furrowed, his usually downcast gaze now upturned in worry. he clenches his jaw, looking to the side, and his expression returns to it's normal calm state. you hesitantly bring your uninjured hand to his cheek and lean your forehead into his, closing your eyes. "i saved your ass once again." you hear him hum a deep chuckle and you feel his rough hand come over yours, pushing your cold touch into his face. he brings his other hand to your chin pulling you away to look at him. god his clothes were stained with your blood and guilt courses through you. your usual resolve falls as your eyes tear up. how embarrassing. you've never dropped your composure like this, years of emotional abuse allowing you to hide what you feel from your face easily. you're definitely suffering from severe blood loss. "still a pain in my ass even when i'm the one taking care of you." "you love it." you retort as you look away, trying to hide your tears and your face heats from his words. "why did you come here y/n?" his deep voice was monotone as usual, but his expression was soft. "i-" you look at him again and suddenly the two of you were leaning in. you closed your eyes and his lips were on yours. they were soft, softer than you had imagined. his hand stayed on yours while the other tangled in your hair. if you thought you were lightheaded before- what you were feeling now was on a whole new level. he pulls away, trailing his thumb over your bottom lip, his eyes following his finger's movements. god you were practically floating, your heartbeat was pumping rapidly in your chest, heat spreading all throughout your body and settling between your legs. your vision gets hazy and you blink struggling to maintain consciousness. levis eyes go wide and your vision goes black. you woke up the next day in the medical tent, levi no where in sight. cause there’s this tune i found that makes me think of you somehow and i play it on repeat until i fall asleep you snap back to reality. you hold up your injured arm. you had been avoiding him since then, trying(and failing) to convince yourself it was a dream you had due to the dangerous blood loss you experienced. even if it did happen it was only because the two of you were injured and not thinking straight. he would never be interested in you. suddenly you hear sienna yelp and fall back. you look back up and see levi holding her bridal style effortlessly. "oh captain! thank you you're so strong- oh" levi sets her down and rolls his eyes with a scowl, grabbing the duster from her hand and walking straight towards you. quickly, you look back at your mopping suddenly very interested in how shiny the wet floor looks. "cadet." his deep voice sends chills down your body and you subconsciously squeeze your thighs together to relieve the sudden heat in your core. you look up at him and see he's already looking down at you with an amused look in his eyes. "last i checked your assignment was to mop the floors correct?" duh. you fight the urge to roll your eyes. "correct sir." he pulls down his bandana and leans closer to you. in a voice just above a whisper he says "so why are you so distracted from your task?" you can't take your eyes away from his and your body flushes at his close proximity. he takes the mop from your hand, his calloused fingers grazing yours, and hands you the duster. "from now on you're in charge of dusting the underside of the tables and wiping down the trimming on the walls. maybe when you're on your knees you can learn a thing or two about finishing tasks."
spillin’ drinks on my settee
asshole! you swallow as anger blooms in your chest. how dare he tempt and tease you like this,first leading you on with a kiss and now making you get on your knees before him. you didn't know if you wanted to smack him or suck him off. a distant voice in the back of your head said imagine doing both. you know he's looking for a reaction. if he wants to tease you and push your limits, two can play at that game. you slowly get down on your knees before him, maintaining eye contact the whole way down. your heart beats rapidly in your chest and you try to ignore the fact that his cock is merely inches away from your mouth. "yes sir." you ignore the strong urge to look away from his eyes and down his body as he stares you down, his lips slightly parted. he lets out a breath and pulls his mask back up, leaving with the mop and moving upstairs. you let out the breath you were holding and sit back on your feet, running your hand through your hair. "here you go y/n! sorry it took me so long, eren and jean were arguing." christa hands you the wet towel and her eyes go wide "oh you really look dazed now, are you sure you're alright?" you bring the towel to your head "i guess i really am feeling a bit shaky." you can't stand him. 
do i wanna know if this feeling flows both ways?
you lazily chew your bread, pretending to be interested in the conversation your friends were carrying on at the table. tensions were high after a long day of cleaning and being critiqued by the captain. eren and jean were going on about something once again. you swear the two are always at each others necks, no doubt because of jean's jealousy towards eren due to how close he is with mikasa. "you're all talk! i don't care if you're a titan- i'll kick your scrawny ass right now!" jean yells and stands causing eren to reciprocate "oh i'd love to see you try horse face" things were getting ugly fast. "come on guys let's calm down now" reiner stands with them "back off reiner i don't need your help!" eren practically growls. this is serious if reiner can't stop their advances. you stand and move between the pair "that's enough. you two need to set your differences aside and learn when to quit." you put your arm against eren's chest and look at him. "fine." he huffs. you sigh and jean grumbles under his breath "pussy, i knew you wouldn't do shit, no wonder you let your mother get killed." ... oh no. eren snaps and charges, causing jean to swing. eren quickly grabs your injured forearm, and roughly pulls you out of the way from jean's blow. you fall to the floor and chaos ensues with everyone rushing in between the two. you wince in pain as your gauze starts turning red from your now opened wound. you stand as you hear steps rapidly coming down the stairs towards the group. "guys please- the captains coming" your pleads fall on deaf ears and you mentally curse yourself for not doing more to stop this. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" levi's cold voice booms through the room and everyone freezes.
sad to see you go, was sorta hopin’ that you’d stay
eren and jean abruptly pull away from each other and everyone takes a step back. levi stands with hange behind him. the captain's voice is rough as he growls "have you two sons of bitches got any intelligence in those nonexistent brains of yours? not only did you shitheads ruin a meal you also decided to fuck up a perfectly clean room." he glances over everyone but his eyes fall on you. "cadet, why is your arm hidden?" shit... shit! you freeze. taking a deep breath you glare back at him, trying to telepathically curse him for pointing it out and tell him that it's not a big deal. wordlessly you pull your arm out from behind you. all eyes look at the gauze on your arm stained red with blood, which was now dripping on the floor. the captain takes a breath. then two. "its fine, it's not as bad as it looks-"gods your arm is throbbing "i was too rough on it and i should've let it heal more, this is my doing." the lie falls smoothly from your lips and you try not to wince at the silence. "no y/n, i won't let you cover for me." eren steps forward and you mentally scold him. "sir i was the one who hurt her. i must've grabbed her injured arm when i pushed her out of the way." you know what's about to happen and it appears your comrades do too. a moment of silence passes before levi steps towards eren and you pray mikasa won't try to kill the captain. eren's eyes go wide with fear and he steps back, stumbling into the now flipped table, causing him to fall to the ground. he crawls backwards, his eyes never leaving the captain's. it's almost as if you can read his thoughts, his mind replaying one phrase: not again. mikasa takes a step forward and you know that if you don't act now things will take a turn for the worse. just as levi raises his good leg to deliver a blow and mikasa reaches for her blades, you're next to the captain with your good hand on his shoulder. "if eren hadn't moved me i would've gotten hit. because of him i didn't have to kick jean's ass myself."you quirk a brow and glance over to jean, who currently looks like he's about to vomit "and you know his injuries would be far worse than mine." a moment passes before levi puts his leg down, redirecting his glare to the rest of the group. "fix it or i will." and just like that he leaves, hange shrugging at us before following behind him. 
baby we both know that the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can’t say tomorrow day
eren stands and cant meet your eye "im sorry y/n" you shake your head with a chuckle and give him a closed eye smile, causing him to look at you in confusion. "you did nothing wrong eren." the boy clenches his jaw and gives you a curt nod before moving to set the table back up. mikasa nods at you and you pray eren will one day realize how much this girl cares for him. "yeah, next time you guys fight we're not stepping in." connie says with a smirk "i kinda wanna see who'd win anyway." you and a few others laugh with him. you grab a towel from the cabinet and wrap it tightly around your arm to stop the bleeding as you lean against the counter and look at your blood on the floor. no wonder levi reacted the way he did, that clean freak must've been pissed about the mess your blood made. he didn't even spare you a look when you were next to him, he had no reaction to your touch on his shoulder. you curse under your breath, gods why did you care so much? just being near the guy pisses you off. you pinch the bridge of your nose and close your eyes. "he didn't look at the floor." armin stands in front of you. "what?" "he didn't notice the blood, he just looked at you." the boy seemed to be as surprised as you. you keep your face blank "what are you talking about?" armin ignores you and walks back to the others, leaving you alone once again.
crawlin’ back to you
it had been a few weeks since eren and jean's fight, each day dully passing as you sat out of the front lines due to your injury. since then your arm had healed enough to the point where you could use it again, in moderation of course. it is starting to scar and you can tell it will leave a gruesome mark behind, but you don't mind. although you were injured levi didn't go easy on you, giving you extra assignments like cleaning the stables or staying up late to re-mop the floors after your first attempt was "pathetic". yet even after ordering you around or ignoring you completely, he would always gently pull your arm to him and look it over before letting you do your tasks. what the hell is up with him? he was being unnecessarily cold and rude to you one minute then checking on your recovery the next. he never showed any inclination that he really cared- yet his touch was so soft and warm. you figured he was bitter towards you because of how you stopped him from hurting eren, maybe he saw your actions as disrespectful. you silence your thoughts as you sit at the table at which the scouts have their meetings. everyone was waiting for levi, eren, and hange to show. as if on cue the three come into the room, hange sitting at the head of the table and eren sitting at the opposite head. wait... why is eren sitting where levi usually sits? the only open seat was the one right next to you, to the right of eren. levi sits next to you and you give eren a confused look. levi didn't seem to mind where eren was sitting... weird. even reiner seemed to notice the seat change, raising a brow to you from his spot beside you. the meeting must be about the experiments hange has been using eren for, why else would levi trade his spot?
ever thought of callin’ when you’ve had a few? cause i always do
the meeting went as usual, levi briefing us on the newest plan for returning to the walls and others offering up various information and ideas. levi passed the discussion over to hange and she started talking about her latest experiments on her titans and eren. after updating us she went into her usual rant on how she was inspired for these experiments and of course everyone knew this information already. usually levi was the one to suggest we change the topic or simply leaving the table, allowing us to follow, yet he sat to the left of you leaning his head against his hand, mirroring your position. you glance over to him and see he's already looking at you, his expression remains the same but he raises a brow when you make eye contact. he then turns his attention back to hange. you ignore how good he looks and turn your attention to the table, lazily tracing circles on the surface of the wood. you're caught up in your thoughts, zoning out into your own world when a finger lightly caresses your thigh. your hand freezes and you blink. did levi just touch your thigh? almost as if in response you feel him lazily trace his finger in circles leading to your upper thigh, mirroring what you did to the table moments before. you look around at everyone else at the table wondering if they could tell what was happening yet none of them were looking over to you, they're bored expressions showing no suspicion. you quickly glance to levi and see he looks stoic as ever, his attention appearing to still be on hange. how can he sit here and look so calm? his feather light touch moves further up your leg and you turn your head down to the table again, your cheeks heating up. how was no one else seeing this? damn this large ass table covering everything- even reiner couldn't see a thing. levi's touch was sending electricity all over your body, your core practically gushing at his teasing. he keeps on moving up your thigh, his circles dangerously close to your center, and you subconsciously part your legs, giving him more access. you don't notice how he wets his lips with his tongue, fighting off a small smirk. you swallow and as you do his finger runs over your clothed clit. you fight back a gasp causing your spit to go down the wrong pipe and you're sent into an embarrassing coughing fit, everyone's attention turning to you as you wave them off stuttering "sorry"'s and "i'm fine" in between coughs. for the first time in a while levi wants to laugh, he loves seeing you get worked up over his little teases, it amuses him. a selfish part of him wants to be the only one to get these reactions out of you, wanting to be the only one to have this affect on you. he'll think about those thoughts later. you finally get a hold of yourself and hange continues after you apologize for interrupting her. levis finger returned to your upper thigh and you mentally crossed your fingers hoping you would be able to control yourself if he tried that again. your mind was racing, imagining what you would do if no one else was here. oh how you wanted him to bend you over this table and pound you until you were crying- "are you ok y/n?"reiner whispers. levi's hand freezes and you immediately snap out of your thoughts. reiner was looking at you with his hand over yours on the table, his thumb lightly running over your knuckles. maybe i’m too busy being yours to fall for somebody knew, now i’ve thought it through it was no secret to levi, the looks the other men would give you and the many conversations your name and appearance were brought up in made him quickly realize how sought after you really are. your beauty was apparent to him, he often caught himself thinking of your smile or the cute way your eyebrows raise when you try not to laugh at the other cadets being stupid. your laugh is what he enjoys the most, it reminds him of his old friend isabel and the days he spent with farlan in the underground. regardless, he knew he'd be a fool to think he was the only one who thought this way about you, it was nearly impossible not to. you're brilliant but you were clueless when it came to other's attraction towards you. he'd often watch as you would laugh with other guys, your innocent touches and jokes easily being mistaken for flirting, ignoring the anger and jealousy he would feel as he wished he could drag you away from their lustful eyes. of course even reiner was apart of the y/n fan club. he takes his hand away from you and clenches his jaw, trying, and failing, to ignore reiner's hand on yours. you nod and pull both of your hands into your lap "i'm fine, thanks reiner." you chew the inside of your cheek hating how much you miss the captain's touch. your heart skips a beat when you replay how soft and sensual his touches were in your mind. no matter how hard you try you can't seem to shake him from your thoughts, even when other guys enter the picture he's always there. you need a damn break. the meeting finally ends and you abruptly get up, ignoring reiner's attempts at walking you to your room, and you don't notice how levi glares at reiner as you leave. crawlin back to you "alright! you should be good to go. i'm sorry i can't help the scarring-" "it's fine don't worry about it hanj! if anything it just makes me look bad ass." the woman laughs at the nickname you gave her and crosses her arms "you don't need a scar to do that, everyone remembers how you kicked bertolt's ass in your sparring match with him." you roll your eyes and the two of you laugh. you move your arm around freely for the first time in what feels like a while. you thank hange for watching over your recovery and leave her office, heading over to the girl's rooms for the night. "you're cleared already?" levi's voice freezes you in place. it's been a week since you last saw the captain one on one, him ignoring you completely unless he was assigning more trivial cleaning tasks. you let out an annoyed sigh and turn around. "yes, hange just gave the all clear." he's holding a small stack of papers in one hand and gestures for you to come closer with the other "let me see." 
so have you got the guts?
your frown deepens and you walk up to him, ignoring how his eyes follow you as you approach. you stand two feet away for good measure and hold your arm out in front of him. he gently grabs your wrist, pulling you closer, and turns his attention to your now scarred arm. you can't help but keep your eyes on his as his finger lightly traces the markings. he looks up at your face and you immediately turn your head away to the floor, hating the way your heart skips a beat. "it's healed up better than i thought it would." what the hell is wrong with you? it's like your whole body is set ablaze just from the tip of his finger. "y/n look at me." your eyes go wide and you face him. his mouth moves and your eyes are trained on his lips, not registering anything he's saying. been wonderin’ if your heart’s still open and if so i wanna know what time it shuts "good girl." the words send electricity straight to your core and an audible gasp slips from your lips. your eyes go wide and your face feels so hot you swear you could cook an egg on it. you pull your arm away step back "w-what?" you stutter out. the captain looks at you with a confused and frankly judgemental look "i said relax, you look like you could hurl." you swallow and nod, a giggle slipping out. levi watches you as your giggles turn into a short coughing fit and he raises a brow in amusement. you really need to learn how to not choke on your spit. "sorry, i thought you said something else." this is so humiliating. you need to pull yourself together. why can't you keep your usual stone-faced facade around the captain? his eyes narrow and it's almost like you can see the gears turning in his head. your embarrassment shows on your face and you watch his eyebrows raise as he registers what you heard. "you thought i said good girl." he says taking a step forward. simmer down and pucker up, i’m sorry to interrupt its just i’m constantly on the cusp of trying to kiss you you struggle to keep your composure as the man before you looks down at you, now so close you can feel his breath fan over your face. you cross your arms over your chest and roll your eyes "tch, so what if i did." your usual poker face has returned, yet your heart pounds rapidly in your chest. the captain brushes a lose strand of your hair behind your ear and leans down right next to your face. "can i try something?" your head nods on its own and your lips part as his eyes glance over them. you don't have time to react as his hand comes to the back of your head and massages your scalp before pulling your head to the side by your hair, giving himself access to your neck. you gasp and grip the front his dress shirt as he licks up your neck, biting into your sensitive skin. you stifle a moan and just like that he pulls away. your hand comes up to your neck, shock evident on your face. "wha-what was that?" the captain's lip twitches in an almost smirk, a deep hum rumbling his chest. "just as i thought." your skin is softer than he imagined. but i dont know if you feel the same as i do "oi there you are levi! i've been waiting for sawney's files for forever." levi turns around to face the section commander with his usual stone faced expression, as if he wasn't just sucking on your neck a few seconds before. he walks over to her, handing over the papers he's been holding. "don't go complaining now, you're lucky i even got them for you." hange looks over to you and raises a brow "cadet l/n what are you still doing here? i thought i dismissed you ages ago." as your superior you know you should be intimidated, scared even, from her questioning, but over the past month and a half you two have gotten pretty close from how often you would have to see her for your routine check ups. your hands come to your hips and you tease "captain levi wanted to check over my arm himself. Apparently he doubts your ability to oversee my recovery." to anyone else her movements would be undetectable but your keen observation skills easily spot how her eyes quickly dart to your neck, swiftly following over to levi's wrinkled button up and watch as he wipes his lips with the back of his hand. if she put the dots together she didn't show it, instead going along with your joke. she lets out an exaggerated gasp and turns to levi "how dare you underestimate my healing abilities! i'll have you know i was top-" levi rolls his eyes "tch, i just wanted to make sure you weren't experimenting on her, four eyes. let's not forget about the blood test incident with mikasa." this makes you and hange laugh, levi letting a rare soft smile grace his lips as he watches you. "alright i'll leave you two, the girls are no doubt looking for me at this point." you and hange exchange a wave and levi watches your hips sway as you leave, mentally noting how good your uniform slacks make your ass look. he hears hange clear her throat and meets her gaze. his eyes slightly go wide as she gives him a knowing look and he looks away letting a "tch" out under his breath. "so i see you're finally going for it." levi glares at the woman and she smirks "i've seen you looking at her, and how protective you get with her-" levi glares "enough" he mumbles, looking like a pouting child as a rosy tint covers his cheeks. hange just continues her teasing "i heard her bunk is the cleanest out of all the girls'-" "shut up." hange just laughs and levi walks back to his office, avoiding further torment from the woman. but we could be together if you wanted to he was beginning to get pissed off. he expected you to cover the mark he left on you yesterday, you'd be a fool not to, but that's not what was bothering him. he watches from across the mess hall as reiner walks with you to get tea with his hand on your lower back. he knows reiner is using this as an excuse to make a move, as you are the only other person besides him and ymir who enjoys tea. how pathetic. he also notices how the other cadets are watching the two of you, excluding sasha who is too busy stuffing her face to notice anything. it was painfully obvious he was pining after you, yet your demeanor remained the same as always. with a grunt he focuses back on the conversation hange and erwin are having, subconsciously gripping the rim of his teacup tighter. do i wanna know if this feeling flows both ways? you laugh along with reiner as you pour your tea, trying to ignore how unnecessarily touchy he is today. you don't mind, his innocent touches never made you uncomfortable or made you feel anything really. reiner is a sweet guy, a lot of the other cadets look up to him and you respect that, but another man was occupying your thoughts. you sip your tea and tune in to what reiner is saying "-if i could i would build a cottage in the middle of nowhere with my own farm. it'd be perfect for my woman and i to start a family, and we wouldn't have to worry about the neighbors hearing us." he says the last part with a smirk and your face heats from his suggestive tone. "what about you gorgeous?" you take another sip and contemplate your answer. "well, if i could live beyond the walls i would probably explore. there has to be another civilization somewhere, we can't possibly be the last of the human race, there's no way i'm believing that bullshit." something in reiner's demeanor changes at your words. his face darkens and he steps closer to you, invading your space. the way he looks at you is unrecognizable, almost as if a different person stands before you. "how interesting." his hands come to your hips and he pulls you closer to him, his face hovering over yours, "who told you you could be this smart?" your eyes widen and you nervously laugh "my teachers i guess?" his grip on you tightens as you try to pull away. you really don't want to fight him and fear courses through you as he looks down at your neck. "oh? what's this?" one of his hands pull away to touch your neck and you use the opportunity to put a great distance between the two of you. your back hits someone's hard chest and their hand lightly rests against your lower back to steady you."i didn't know making women uncomfortable was something you enjoyed doing reiner." sad to see you go, was sorta hopin’ that you’d stay the captain's voice sounds from behind you and your shoulders visibly relax. levi cooly steps around you and casually refills his teacup. reiner's eyes stay on him with a glare that would've sent anyone running if not directed at the captain. levi calmly sips his tea, "oi, what are you still standing there for? i know i'm a sight but you don't need to stare." levi doesn't even spare reiner a glance as he grunts and walks off. you begin to turn around until his deep voice stops you "not you. you're coming with me." baby we both know that the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can’t say tomorrow day after levi finished his tea he silently lead you out of the mess hall toward his office. he walks in front of you, knowing you're following closely behind him. you don't speak until he opens the door to his office, walking in and gesturing for you to close the door. "you wanted to speak with me?" your voice comes out stronger than you thought it would due to the nerves coursing through you. you're alone with the captain in his office and it's just like you imagined. his desk is neatly organized with a few stacks of paper sitting in a straight line next to the edge. you notice a light ring the size of a teacup on the wood and a small smile rests on your face. "i didn't know i'd have to babysit you when you joined the scout regiment, if i had i wouldn't have let you." your smile is long forgotten. did you hear that right? "excuse me?" a look of disbelief graces your features and your head tilts to the side as you look at him. he couldn't help but find it endearing. "you heard me." though he knows it doesn't show on his face, he's pissed. he's sick of seeing all the other men openly lust over you as if you don't belong to him. no, he's done waiting around for you to realize how he feels. he crosses his arms and takes a step closer to you "you leading all the men on doesn't help your case either." your eyebrow twitches yet your face remains calm. is he trying to piss you off? "or are you so clueless that you can't see what you're doing to them?" he takes another step closer "to me?" you take a deep breath. "what is the point of this conversation, sir?" the title comes out harsher than you intended and the captain's eyebrow raises. "because if you're just going to shame me i'll be on my way." contrary to your words you don't make any move to leave his office. "no, i intend on doing other things." he lightly grabs ahold of one of your wrists and pulls you closer to him. "i cant have you acting like a slut now can i?" arousal courses through you and you gasp in shock as your other wrist moves to slap him before he gently grabs your hand, stopping it just before it hits him. "fuck you-" your voice catches in your throat as he traces his tongue up your wrist. your whole body heats and you forget to breathe as you watch him. he pulls away before kissing the area underneath your thumb, making eye contact as he lightly bites into your skin. crawlin back to you he relishes in the way your lips part, how intense and shocked your eyes look as they stay on his mouth. well that's one way to shut you up, but he doesn't want you to be quiet right now. he pulls away and a line of saliva connects your skin to his lips for a second. "cursing at your superior now are we?" you swallow and look back up into his eyes. oh how you regret doing that. the look he gives you sends heat straight to your core and you're sure your panties will be soaked soon."or-" he starts walking you backwards towards the door "does this little girl enjoy being a brat?" you don't even know how to respond. the man before you wears a small smirk "answer me." before your back can hit the door he turns you around, pulling your arms behind you and shoving your face against the cool wood. his chest is against your back and his scent fills your senses, making you dizzy with the pleasant smell of his cologne with a faint hint of soap and cleaning products. "asshole." your voice comes out in a quiet croak but he hears you clearly. he roughly pushes into you harder, causing his clothed cock to connect with your heat. a whimper falls from your lips from the contact and he feels you clench through his pants. his lips lightly caress your cheek as he speaks "how filthy, your cunt is already begging for me to fill you with my cock." your eyes widen at his words. you knew he had a foul mouth but this takes you by surprise. your heart is beating so loudly in your chest you're worried he can feel it against him. you push back into him, desperately searching for any kind of friction to relieve the pressure between your legs, and you thank the gods when he lets you grind against his hardening cock. he lets out a hiss and his hips start to grind with yours while his free hand unbuttons your pants and moves to rub circles on your aching clit. he mumbles against you "already so wet for me." before biting into your exposed shoulder. your breaths come out in light gasps, your movements becoming more desperate. you were already getting close and he could tell, but he doesn't want you cumming yet. your legs begin to shake as your release nears, small "yes"'s and "levi"'s falling from your lips. levi wants to hear those soft sounds on repeat, and he makes a mental note to find out how loud they can get. just as you're about to cum levi turns you around and pulls down your pants. your annoyance comes out in a huff as you step out of the slacks before he pushes you against the door again. your hands immediately move to touch him, and he lets you pull his shirt off, using your hands to feel the smooth muscles on his chest and run through his hair. he starts nibbling and sucking on your neck and you remember the warmth of his kiss, how soft and sensual his lips were and pray he'll let you feel them again. he looks at you, enjoying how beautifully fucked out you look already, before moving to connect your lips, yet he barely touches you before pulling away again. you try to lean forward to capture a real kiss from him but his hold on you doesn't budge. he's such a tease. a groan escapes you and levi tsks "now now y/n" they way he says your name makes you close your eyes and rest your head back against the door, trying to ground yourself and keep your composer. "you've made me wait this long-" his kisses trail down your neck before he gets on his knee before you. his calloused hands rub up your thighs and pull your panties off before he pulls one of your legs onto his shoulder. he lightly trails his index finger along your slit and you visibly shudder at the sensation. "you're going to cum on my mouth, understand?" ever thought of callin’ when you’ve had a few? cause i always do your body's so hot you're surprised you haven't passed out by now. he looks up at you expectantly and you wordlessly nod, not trusting your voice at the moment. a harsh slap lands on your ass and you jump with a moan. "use your words cadet." his voice sends vibrations into your core due to his close proximity and you close your eyes, putting your pride and dignity aside. "yes sir, please levi, please, please, please" your words are soft and levi's cock twitches at your begging. you're making him uncomfortably hard but he ignores it in favor of seeing you squirm above him. he can get his dick wet later. he brings his index finger up and lightly teases your clit, watching for your body's reactions to his touch. "have you ever been touched like this before?" he wants to ruin you, to have you crying and begging for him. he wants to make you forget all that isn't his name, but more importantly he wants you to be comfortable. right now he's focused on making you feel good, but not only out of selflessness. he wants to see how many orgasms he can pull from you before you're an incoherent mess from his touch. truthfully he wants to ruin any future sexual escapades with any other lover for you, him being the only one to make your body feel this good. he's selfish and he knows it. he licks along your slit, delicately tasting your folds and he feels your whole body react. you let out a high pitched whine and your hands grip onto his hair tightly. well there's his answer. levi groans into you, sending vibrations throughout your body, and digs in. maybe i’m too busy being yours to fall for somebody knew, now i’ve it through his tongue's languid strokes have you arching into him, your leg struggling to keep you standing. his movements have you quickly approaching the high you so desperately need. you throw your head back and a particularly loud moan slips out when he flicks his tongue over your clit just right. "levi-" he grunts in response and you have to grip the door handle to keep your knee from buckling. "s-sir im- so close" his hands roughly grip your ass and he harshly sucks your clit, sending you tumbling over the edge. your mouth falls open in a silent cry as your orgasm washes over you and levi swears he could cum just from the sight. he laps up your juices and your body jolts every time he runs his tongue over your sensitive clit. one of his hands squeezes your ass as the other trails up under your shirt and kneads your breast over your bra. with a kiss on your pelvic bone he stands and pulls you toward his desk. "sit." he orders. you sit on the edge of his desk and he immediately goes back in between your legs "levi i- ah- what are you doing?" his tongue makes your body jolt due to how sensitive your clit is. he stands and pulls your shirt off of you, your bra coming off soon after. he mumbles "so perfect." as he takes your breasts in his hands, sucking and flicking your nipple with his tongue while his fingers pinch and tease the other. your body is gorgeous, shit, you're gorgeous. his thoughts surround your beauty as he pleases you, enjoying the soft gasps you let out. he pulls away and looks at you while he slips a finger into your tight cunt and curls it causing you to lurch forward into him. his other hand grabs your face and forces you to look at him "take it." your moans only increase at the command and you feel yourself approaching another orgasm. he adds another finger, using his whole arm to perfectly hit a spot deep within you while he swirls his thumb on your clit. you hold onto him for dear life, finger nails leaving red marks across his back as you cum on his fingers. do i wanna know if this feeling flows both ways? suddenly he dips his face between your legs and harshly sucks onto your clit. "ah- fuck levi!" you practically scream as your body shakes from the overstimulation. your cunt clenches his fingers so well throughout your orgasm and he roughly holds your legs open, hard enough to leave bruises. the pain only fuels you more, and although you try to hold back your moans he knows anyone nearby can tell what the two of you are doing. you can barely keep yourself sitting up as you lean back on one arm while the other tugs your captain's hair between your legs. you've never felt this good before. sure, a few of your past partners made you finish but not like this. you don't have it in you to be embarrassed about the noises you're making, your mind only focusing on the man bringing you this pleasure. levi pulls his fingers out of you and you watch with half lidded eyes as he sucks your slick off of them. he's eating you as if you're the best thing he's ever tasted, and to him you are. his fingers move to your clit, harshly rubbing back and forth on your already too sensitive bud and your whole body reacts. levi watches in awe as your head falls back and you arch closer to him, your hips subconsciously moving in time with his fingers. your eyes go wide as you feel his tongue enter you, your hand tightening in his hair as you cry out. the groan he lets into you is pornographic and it's enough to send you over the edge a third time. sad to see you go, was sorta hopin’ that you’d stay if only you could see how beautiful you look right now, he thinks as he stands before you once again. his hand comes around your throat, pulling you to face him before he roughly connects his lips to yours. his tongue explores your mouth and you can taste yourself on him as you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. his clothed (extremely hard) cock rubs against your aching center, no doubt ruining his pants with your slick, and he grunts into your mouth. you pull away from the heated make out session, a trail of saliva connecting your lips "please let me touch you" you would give anything to get a taste of him. he doesn't respond, instead he pulls you down and bends you over his desk, fully exposing your soaked pussy and ass to him. you hear clothes rustling behind you and he pulls your wrists behind your back using his belt to tie them in place. you feel the head of his cock run through your folds and you can't help the shaky breath you release. a sudden smack lands on your ass and you gasp, the pain causing your eyes to tear up. "how pathetic." he lands another blow onto your other cheek, harsh enough to make you jump, and you moan. "you would do anything for my cock wouldn't you? what a perfect little slut i found." he continues his harsh assault on your ass and you can feel your juices run down your legs, the hot stinging on your skin only fueling your arousal. "do you know how long i've waited for this? i've wanted to fuck that pretty mouth of yours ever since your smart ass asked me to train you." his hands rub over your cheeks, parting them for a second. "but i'll have to save that for next time." next time. "right now you need to be put in your place." his tip stretches you open and you whimper when he stills, his cock barely in you. his hand harshly grips your hair and he pulls, making your head up come up off his desk while the other grips tightly onto your hip, no doubt leaving a bruise. "beg." the command sends heat to your face and you're embarrassed by how turned on it makes you, but at this point you don't care. "please levi, please fuck me-"he grunts "good girl". he roughly slams into you and due to the position your neck is in you can't help but let out a strangled moan. you can't hold back your cries as his hips set a steady pace. it feels like his fat cock is splitting you open and tears stream down your face as the pain and pleasure overwhelm you. you're a sobbing moaning mess beneath him, and he picks up the pace, roughly fucking your abused cunt. your strangled cries have him concerned until he feels how deliciously you pulse around his large cock. he can't seem to focus on anything else as he repeatedly slams into you, his cock hitting all the right places. in the back of his mind a voice tells him he should probably shut you up considering erwin's office is right next door, and dinner is no doubt long over by now. but he can't help it, your voice sounds so good like this, the repeated "unh"'s and occasional curses are a symphony to his music loving ears. erwin will just have to deal with it for now. he feels you flutter around him and he can't help but grunt. you feel so good he considers kicking you from the scouts and keeping you to himself. "l-levi" his name comes out in a choked sob and he can tell you're close again. "go ahead and cum on my cock, brat." he lands a particularly hard slap on your ass and you come undone around him. you grip him so tightly he can't help but to cum with you, gods your cunt is squeezing around him so deliciously. his hips stutter and a long growl rumbles in his chest as he fills you. baby we both know that the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can’t say tomorrow day "i'm not done with you yet." you let out a sob as he grabs onto your bound wrists, pulling your shoulders flush against his chest so that you're standing against him with one leg bent on the table. contrary to your cries your pussy gushes around his still hard cock. your leg shakes, barely able to support your own weight, and his strong hold keeps you against him. his hand wraps around your throat and rubs circles into your skin with his thumb while his other hand brushes your hair out of your face and traces along your curves to rest on your hip. he lightly kisses across your shoulder blade. "one more y/n, you think you can do that for me?" your tears mix with the sweat on his chest and you lay your head back against his shoulder, struggling to catch your breath. you nod and he connects your lips in a tender kiss as his hips return to their thrusting. you are in heaven surely, levi must have killed you for cursing at him earlier and your sick fantasies must be playing out in your mind before you take your final breath. you can't even think properly, your mind producing only one clear thought "levi-". his name falls from your lips like a mantra and he decides that your moans are his favorite song. his hand tightens around your throat, your mind blanking as your oxygen is restricted. your pussy flutters around him and the small grunts and curses he lets out into your ear make your head spin. "p-please levi-" you can barely form the words as his cock reduces you to a blabbering mess. he loosens his hold on your throat and his other hand starts rubbing your clit. you yelp and tightly squeeze your eyes closed "please let me touch you." too busy bein’ yours to fall his thrusts slow and his hand stills, as if he's contemplating your request. he answers you by slowly pulling out of you, catching you when you nearly fall over. he removes the belt from your wrists and gently massages them with his hands. "c'mere" he mumbles. he helps you around his desk, choosing to ignore the papers spread on the floor, and sits in his chair. he helps you onto his lap and you slowly sink onto him, causing both of you to release an airy moan. you start to set a pace, your hands bracing yourself on his chest as you use his cock to get off. levi's breath catches in his throat as he watches you, mesmerized by how captivating you look like this. he silently tries to commit this moment to memory as vividly as possible. his fingertips lightly trace over your nipples and down the marks he's left over your body. he gently squeezes your hip when goosebumps appear across your skin from his touch. you ever thought of callin’ darlin’? you look at him and see him wearing a small smile and you can't fight back the smile that overtakes your features, he's perfect. levi curses under his breath at the sight, swearing that your smile is the most beautiful thing he's ever seen in his painful existence. he feels tears threaten to brim his eyes and he quickly pulls you into him, crashing his lips against yours. your arms come around his neck as the passion in his kiss makes you breathless. he never wants to stop kissing you, the taste of your lips is intoxicating to him and he thanks whatever is listening for bringing you into his life. you feel him twitch in you and you can tell he's close, yet he makes no move to control your pace. you smile against him and you pull away, resting your forehead against his, closing your eyes as you put your hand on his cheek. a familiar feeling floods into your chest along with a sense of deja vu. levi puts his hand over yours and brings the other to rub your clit as a warmth he's grown accustomed to feeling around you blooms in his chest. he pulls your hand away from his face, interlacing your fingers together as he feels you approaching your climax. you squeeze his hand as you cum, your head falling to his shoulder and biting the crook of his neck to silence your cries. after a few seconds your name falls from his lips, his hand squeezing yours as he comes undone.
do you want me crawlin’ back to you?
——————————————————————————
"i can see why they say you're the best humanity has to offer." he chuckles at your comment and kisses your hand interlaced with his before his arms wrap around you, causing you to arch into him as you sit on his lap. his head rests in the crook of your neck and he responds with a gruff "not funny" into your skin. the vibrations tickle you and you laugh at his comment. you feel him smile against you. "you love it." your voice comes out just above a whisper. your hand runs through his hair as the other traces languid circles on his shoulder. he pulls you into him tighter, if that's even possible, and plants a light kiss on your cheek. "we need to clean." "levi i can't walk." "i know dumbass, by we i meant me. you can sit there and look pretty." "ok."
——————————————————————————
bro this shit is so hard to write
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Text
Responses from the Opera Screencaps Captioning Quiz
Hello, everyone, and thank you for taking my quiz! I had SO MUCH fun reading your captions-- there were several times I literally started crying from laughing so hard at the amazingness of your work! With that in mind, the captions (which I will continue to add onto as more people take it):
(also, thank you to @dichterfuerstin​ for translating the German captions I got)
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originally taken from: the Wiener Staatsoper’s 2020 production of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s Die Entführung aus dem Serail, featuring Regula Mühlemann (center) as Blonde, Michael Laurenz (right) as Pedrillo, and an unnamed extra (left) as the Grim Reaper
Responses:
(Backstage warm-up) “ok so someone dropped the pulse”
me and my friends watching the fire burn after doing arson
Introducing the polycule to the parents
*boom* ... did...you guys hear that too?
Ma Signor !
Knight in whinging armour gone wrong, look at how he holds the egg. Polyamory with weird knight and death.
the father, son and the holy ghost are very gay
the gays meeting for brunch, 2021, colorized
chicken lady forces death and a very flamboyantly homosexual anthropomorphized pink bird to be parents of her egg (they dont want to be)
That’s just me and my friends on our night out (before covid rip)-- closest
A Good Friday night
good omens (2019)
["the pocket guide to boy/girl/mischief" meme] who's the boy and who's the mischief though????
Papageno and Papagena take their first-born egg trick-or-treating
Angry Birds - The Musical. A pig stole an egg and the bird unites with death to take revenge.
I love my bird wife
Someone got murdered during the funky chicken dance
throuple murders child and steals sibling of said child
When you and your friends have widely different tastes in literature
angel leading twink to his rightful place (hell)
draco malfoy from a very potter musical and a death eater are very much in the wrong show
What have I gotten myself into
Mlm/wlw solidarity but I’m not telling who is who
A woman stands with a pink dipshit with an egg and a reaper.
A bird-couple makes a pact with Death, sacrificing their first-born bird-child in order to bring good luck upon their unborn bird-baby
There are three types of people on Halloween:
Uh oh, I don’t think the mother hen is very happy about this...
oh god, they’ve invented seussical. It’s too early!
gay brunch
Three little maids from school are we
guys maybe if we dress gay enough we can distract everyone from the dead flapper bee in the back
those three killed a duck for her egg and are facing the conswquences.
Duck has egg with human, shocked and upset due to biological impossibility
When you bout to make a banging omelet so you invite your fellow queers
"No mortal man could pass that egg, but heaven shall repair your rectum."
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originally taken from: the Salzburg Festival’s 2007 production of Hector Berlioz’s Benvenuto Cellini, featuring Maija Kovalevska (left) as Teresa Balducci, Laurent Naouri (center, in chimney) as Fieramosca, and Burkhard Fritz (right) as Benvenuto Cellini
Responses:
“In this same interlude it doth befall That I, one Snout by name, present a wall; And such a wall, as I would have you think, That had in it a crannied hole or chink, Through which the lovers, Pyramus and Thisby, Did whisper often very secretly. This loam, this rough-cast and this stone doth show That I am that same wall; the truth is so: And this the cranny is, right and sinister, Through which the fearful lovers are to whisper.” - a midsummer night’s dream, act v scene 1
"ah yes a prime specimen. see here, right in this box is our one of a kind hob goblin that can be all yours for the low low price of your soul"
what, YOU don't have a special eavesdropping chimney window?
Hänsel und Gretel plotting against the witch
man takes a wrong turn and ends up in a chimney, catches his girlfriend cheating-- closest
when you end up third wheeling the straight couple
lady cheats on her leather jacket wearing scummy boyfriend and when he unexpectedly comes home she hides the lover in the chimney
A straight girl and her gay best friend gossip about stuff idk
Idk Shakespeare?
experimental couples therapy feat. the chimney mf from mary poppins
Area Couple Inadvertently Traps Santa-in-Training in Chimney as they Attempt Rooftop Flirting
Landlords laugh over student renter's misfortune
I never asked for this
Ay yo lil mama lemme whisper in your ear
voyeurist listens to sandy and Danny from grease
Psssst! Did you hear about Susan? You won’t believe it!
lady and the tramp meets beauty and the beast?
human trafficking
And for just $30 you too could have your own tiny brick cage!
Psst I’m wearing assless chaps under this dress
A couple tortures a man in a box.
It's all fun and games being stuck in a chimney until your greasy uncle steals your crush from right above you-- okay ngl this could actually be a great Don Pasquale concept
Taking eavesdropping to the next level
Will you two stop being lovey dovey and let me out? SUMMER LOVIN, HAPPENED SO FAST— 
overhearing how people talk about you when they think they're alone puts you in the shithouse 
Does he know we can see him?
dear god, i am so fucking hungry, yall please just do whatever heterosexuals do so i can go eat a popsicle 
the human version of the trash man from sesame street is realizing that those two are going to fuck on his trash can 
Tmw you capture an angry short dude and start trashtalking him where he can hear 
Omg what if we kissed but we actually kissed the lil goblin man under us
"Remember, don't feed him after midnight"
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originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Leonardo Estevez (right, on fake horse) as Le Comte d’Oberthal
Responses:
“When I said we needed to drain the swamp I didn’t think there were people actually living there”
horse? what horse? no sir i dont know what horse youre referring to.
definitely don't have a napoleon complex going on
King stole La Scala‘s Lohengrin set
king breaks all his horses, has to use statue dragged by servants as transportation because he’s too kingly too walk
Emperor Söder and his subjects on a carnival procession
man on horse makes a big deal out of being on a horse
That’s not Zeffirelli because the horse is not alive
Who the fuck put a horse on the stage
isn't this that picture of napoleon on the horse
Area Count Thinks Citizens will be Intimidated by his Extremely Fake-looking Horse Statue-- closest
Everyone wants their turn on the giant plaster horse. Police are there to make sure everyone waits their turn.
Night out with the lads
Local royalty horrified at the state of his own damn kingdom
gay army fights different gay aesthetics-- hi author how does it feel to be the funniest fucking person on this quiz
Well at least I LOOK badass
ceasar if he hadn't gotten stabbed (colourised)
some soldiers jumped out of my kindergarten fairytale collection book to burn the don carlos flemish deputies at the stake
It’s just a model
Is that how you feel pulling up in your Honda Civic, Madge?
Someone rides a horse statue in public.
Just a normal party with the bros.
what is this, some kind of crossover episode? 
Terribly sorry for all the fuss, it’s just, that is, my horse is afraid of neck ruffles. I’ve tried to talk to him about it, but he’s—whoaaa there—he said he was a french courtier in a past life and he’s allergic to English fashion 
Horse seller, listen to me! I am riding into battle. I need your strongest horse. - We have horses at home. - The horses at home: 
All hail Incitatus the king 
we are not ripping off shakespeare’s henry viii. what the fuck. this is about lenny xi you uncultured swine, go drown in a pit of your own farts 
oh god is that hamilton 
Guy Removed From Art Museum For Sitting On Statue, more at eleven 
Gay <3
Officer: This horse... is a virgin! Crowd: *cheers*
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originally taken from: the Parma Verdi Festival’s 2017 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Stiffelio, featuring Maria Katzarava (left) as Lina and Luciano Ganci (right) as Stiffelio
Responses:
That One kid in class
its a mEntAL BreAkDowN *final countdown but kazoo*
*record scratch* yeah, that's me. you're probably wondering how I got here-- closest
Dad keeps monologuing, teenager is done
left: all of my concerned friends, right: my emo ass having a very public mental breakdown
the demons in the corner of my room when im just trying to sleep
lady gets mansplained to (do i need to say more, we've all been there)
It’s probably an area baritone telling off an area soprano-- sorry; it’s a tenor. soprano is right though.
That was a fake horse in the last photo right?
child comes out as gay to father at a particularly bad time
dissociation solves everything
I can't believe it's not butter
Honey we talked about this
My sleep paralysis demon is Crowley from supernatural
child has nightmare of boring job
When you start dating a singer but he won’t stop practicing at night
just an average day in a hetero marriage
what do i do my wife's having period cramps again
Stop having an existential crisis. It’s time to sing!
“No son of mine will kin Gomez Addams under MY roof”
Crowley stares into space while a teen has post nut clarity.
When he wont stop reciting jordan peterson monologues!!
Do you realize how effed you are?
Ugh, not this lecture again! Dad’s Practicing For His Experimental Indie Band Again 
asking your parents for help with your own personal situation and them just ranting off about what they went through instead of helping in any way 
Will he shut up already!
no one tell him he’s yelling in the wrong direction, no one tell him plnsbdjddhdj 
this kid is tired of his dad listening to rush limbaugh (a man who claimed to be pro life but died anyway) 
Me internally vs externally 
Daddy issues
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originally taken from: the Grand Théâtre de Genève’s 2020 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Les Huguenots, featuring several chorus members
Responses:
It’s the deadly eye Of Poogley-pie. Look away, look away, As you walk by, ‘Cause whoever looks right at it Surely will die. It’s a good thing you didn’t … You did? … Good-bye. - shel Silverstein
why the fuckith? my good sir, i beg of you to put your pants back on
I hate this itchy hat
Titanic Extras hear that they have to do extra hours
people waiting to board the titanic watch someone fall off the plank
pov: you’re a time traveler
guy in the flatcap is embarrassed by patriotism and pathos
No idea. For some reason Le Marseillaise comes to mind
Is this from Harry Potter?
disneyland main street usa workers on strike
local tries to hide behind Newsies cap to avoid unpleasant but inevitable conversations. meanwhile, some very fashionable ladies look on.
"Thank fuck, 2020 was just a dream after all"
“We gather here today because this bitch got exactly what she deserved” “heaven!” “Stfu Stephanie she’s going to hell and we all know it”-- not quite but this basically happens later on in the opera (and act) so yeah (except the person in question very much Did Not Deserve It)
dc movie filter on bridgerton
america?
looks like my history teacher paused the prohibition documentary again
Who still wears page boy hats bro?
Coming out to a room of people who Already Knew That
Bitches are relieved at some party.
Several drunk people exiting getting off the subway attempting to seem sober and rational but realizing they have somehow lost all of their possessions
How tf do I act natural in this situation-- closest
“do you think any of them noticed that I don’t know the pledge of allegiance” 
It's too fucking hot outside for this outfit 
?
when hyyh yoonkook ending just hits different 
pedestrians watch in horror as the triangle shirtwaist factory burns and the workers throw themselves out of the windows from a dozen stories up 
Starting the pledge of allegiance be like 
He's having a heart attack oh no oh god oh fuck
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originally taken from: if I remember correctly, the Semperoper Dresden’s 2018 semi-staging of Johann Strauss II’s Die Fledermaus, with Jonas Kaufmann as Gabriel von Eisenstein
Responses:
“William Shakespeare wrote: "To thine own self be true And it must follow, as the night the day Thou canst not then be false to any man" I believe this wise statement best applies to a woman A blonde woman Over the past three years she taught me And showed us all That being true to yourself never goes out of style Ladies and gentlemen Our valedictorian: Elle Woods!” - legally blonde the musical
eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs
woooooorrrrd
Finally Jonas has graduated! It’s about time, considering he’s an international star.
what my professors think they look like
Prof. Dr. Dr. When someone tells him there are more than two genders
'and since you've now graduated high school, you'll be entering college etc. blablabla' .........meanwhile, there's a whole row of graduates daring each other to chug the cheap vodka one of them has brought in gallons (yes that happened at my graduation, lol)
Jonas darling baby <3-- can’t argue with that
I just realized I have no idea what the actual fuck happens in an opera
ok this one is just what jonas kaufmann always wears you can't fool me.
"as valedictorian i will share with you the importance of loving the floor"
"Yes, mother, my art degree will make me money!"
Graduation speakers are out, singers are in
Senior year takes a new meaninbg
mansplainer professor explains the concept of feminism to women
Your Prof when you finally turn in that missing assignment be like
younger boris johnson (derogatory)
jonas kaufmann retires from opera and takes up motivational speaking
What a fine graduation evening we’re having today
-70 points for slytherin you all have no swag
A man with a college hat sings.
An obviously greying actor trying to play a university student in a low-budget porn parody
How it feels to graduate high school after being held back for years
East High is a place where teachers encouraged us to break the status quo and define ourselves as we choose. Where a jock can cook up a mean crème brûlée, and a brainiac can break it down on the dance floor-
I may not have been "cool" in high school, but in ten years you will all be working for me!
I finally got my GED!
that one guy in ur intro to cultural anthropology class who mansplains to the professor somehow fucking graduated
he;s just graduating and taking his speech too serously idk
Graduation speeches with that one dude who got held back 3 times
Smrt
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originally taken from: the Metropolitan Opera’s 2011 staging of Gioachino Rossini’s Le Comte Ory with Joyce DiDonato (left) as Isolier, Diana Damrau (center) as Countess Adèle, and Juan Diego Florez (right) as Le Comte Ory (disguised as a hermit)
Responses:
There is something very [disturbing grunts] About polyamorous couples - polyamorous, Chris Fleming
jinkies
femme fatale (including to herself)
I’ll have a threesome soon !
Hot guy walks by, everyone swoons.
thirdwheeling friend does not realize the other two are having sex
When your girlfriend had „just two beers“ again
jesus is exasperated about having to drag the two ladies towards doing what he needs them to do instead of purple dramatically declaring suicidal intent over the smallest trivial matters and red being equally dramatic about declaring that it's not the way! stay alive! i love you!!
The throuple is thriving
Get off the milf
orgy
my last three braincells because im a horny slut
countess receives too much love and is confused on how to react
Rasputin's lesser known romp with a much older czarina of russia
Woman's soul leaves body
Jesus and co. are worried after another woman gets pregnant without having sex
bisexual looks at photos of celebrity couples
When you go to the party to socialize with new people but your weirdo friend group starts getting clingy
Jesus cumming
one of those weird church christmas pageants but everybody's drunk
What have I done
Hozier??????????
Jesus assfucks some purple lady being hugged.
This time, the chick IS the magnet
An affair/threesome gone awry (2019 colorized)
What do you mean they canceled GLOW?
“I TOLD you it was cashmere!”
Are you wearing the - - The Gucci dress? Yes I am.
It's not what it looks like!
jesus is fucking that one cheerleader who grew up to be a suburban mom with one (1) super cool dress she stole from her kid who is desperately hugging her middle begging for it back because the spring fling is coming up and jason might actually make eye contact with her for more than three seconds.
jesus and mary magdaline and some other bitch
I’m at a bar and these drunk girls are flirting with me, do I lOOK GAY?!
Shrek 5, jesus's return
c. 2025 First attempt of an Officer and his Wife with a Handmaiden (colourized)
just about all of these are close lol
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originally taken from: the Bolshoi Theater’s 1993 staging of Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s The Maid of Orléans, featuring Nina Rautio (left) as Joan of Arc and Vyacheslav Pochapsky (right) as Thibaut d’Arc
Responses:
Don’t look, I’m still pooping
yall, the audacity of this man. he fuckin talked to me
*i can't even tell you how wrong you are* *it would be insulting to ME*-- closest
Cospeto!
„No I’m not talking to you, you keep cracking bad jokes!“ - „But I got another!“
when you’re mad at him but he says he’ll buy you food if you cheer up
When I’m wallowing in self-pity but my friends won’t comfort me
right: wanna fuck ;) left: yeah, fuck OFF lmao
Her face is screaming “don’t tell me what to do”
Yeah I got nothing
gay man tries to hit on a lesbian bc he thinks she's a twink. she's not amused but she's watching this happen anyway
me tired of MET's bullshit and them organising a Netrebko, known blackface apologist, a recital during Black History Month. (sorry im still fucking salty lol)
"stop smiling at me like that I'm trying to pout over here"
"I got fleas, you got fleas... wanna fuck?"
I have the best idea!
Haha nooooo don’t hit me with that bat you’re so sexxyy
lesbian is bothered by dilf
Me trying to flirt
if call me by your name was hetero and set in america
how many more dad jokes can i take before i explode
So. You’ve gotten yourself in a little pickle again.
What if we fought in the Russian revolution together ✨???????... unless??
Two people flirt in a poor place of town/
"If you ask me what I've got under this dirty, shapeless tunic one more time I swear to god I will kick your rotting teeth in"
You look like ur gonna kill me but ok
Really? You again?
Okay, I’ve been sitting here for 20 minutes, do you think it’s safe to—oh god, he’s still there.
Have you seen Godot?
she is tired of everyone’s shit. she has done so many derivatives it physically pains her to see a variable. dont test her. ur icarus rn.
idk pick better pictures-- I HAVE DIED THE SHEER AUDACITY AND HUBRIS I LOVE THIS
200% done with your crap 
Homeless man has fucking legs of steel n is gonna show off his Russian dance moves
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originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2019 staging of Paul Dukas’ Ariane et Barbe-bleue, featuring Sophie Koch (right) as Ariane and I don’t remember who the person on the left is rip me
Responses:
The knight who wore this into battle sure was swaggy
dear god its hiddeous
Capitalism
Knight in shining armour gone even more wrong.
ghost contemplates the safety of spiky motorcycle helmet
„Stop! He feels bullied!“
'this is my newest take for jesus's crucifixion crown ...... what do you mean they already put him up'
That’s probably a really expensive magic helmet idk. IDK-- closest
Omg I love the adventure zone!
minesweeper (windows xp)
"Okay whatever you do don't touch the shiny spiky ball" "It's so shiny I wanna touch it"
Taking down the trash way too late
IT'S NOT A PHASE MOM
Darth Vader got stuck in the freezer.... again. Leia isn’t happy
Star Wars 2030
“And here is the very latest in motorcycle helmet trends” “Look, I only came to the mall for a pair of socks “
futuristic kkk
long-suffering jewelry store attendant really wants to retire
Put it down put it down put it down
“Hmm no you should see a doctor about that”
A weird ass crown is presented
The creation of sars-cov-2: an experimental Eurotrance nightclub art piece gone horribly wrong
How it feels to want something that u cant have
AND WE WILL CALL IT—SPIKE MAN actually do you think that’s too obvious?? Because of the—yeah, because of the spikes?? See, that’s what I’m worried about. I want it to be SCARY
I know it's risky but... lube me up
?
use the force luke.
that is a weird fleshlight
When you get an ugly gift and need to find a way to get rid of it, so your family member/friend offers to smash it
Touch the orb
Tumblr media
originally taken from: the Opera Vlaanderen’s 2019 staging of Fromental Halévy’s La Juive, with Nicole Chevalier (left, with bottle) as Princess Eudoxie, Enea Scala (center, under table) as Prince Léopold, and Roy Cornelius Smith (right) as Éléazar
Responses:
When no one comes to your birthday party :(
fantastic, day 487 of mischief and they have yet to find my masterful hiding spot
i really wonder who he thinks he's playing footsie with
Marriage crisis. Reason sits under the table-- closest but not in the way you think (after all, the man under the table IS a tenor).
the last supper afterparty after jesus left
When you order the last supper on wish
espionage at the Politischer Rosenmontag
Probably the wrong opera but is that Leporello under the table
Now THIS is a Good Friday night
this was every birthday party i went to between the ages of 5 and 11
that awkward moment when you drop your fork under the table but when you re-emerge everyone else has left except one drunk lady and the guy trying to deal with her
After the last supper
Tfw you arrive to the dinner party too early and have to hide until a more fashionable hour
When the cishets aren’t home
waiter hides from customers
Nobody: My dog every time I’m eating:
what's left of the homies Jesus had dinner with
university chem lab experiment gone terribly wrong
I’ve been under the table FOR 30 MINUTES
Set your friends up by tossing them off under the table, they’ll think it’s each other n fall in luv
Someone hids under a table
"You're about to see an surreptitious-under-the-table-dick-sucking master at work"
5 yr old me trying to eat the desert under the table without my parents finding out be like:
They never invite me to their parties!
Just another girl’s night in
Oops! Didn’t notice you the table.
dionysus - bts (2019, colorized)
just a normal episode of eric andre (eric is the one under the table)
Just a normal day with the boys
Thievery
Tumblr media
originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Kate Aldrich (left, surrounded by women in white) as Fidès and John Osborn (center, looking like a Jesus doppelganger) as Jean de Leyde
Responses:
Hold up, is that Eggman above Jesus?
holy disco
Looks like Tannhäuser. Our lord and saviour Richard Wagner. Now I need to be saved from that.
catholicism
me defending pineapple on pizza (THANK YOU)
jesus but hes about to be abducted by the alien ufo above him
Emmmmmmm Heaven? Idk
Lord of the rings?
ewww christianity gross
"behold, I am Important"
"Seriously?? It's not ACTUALLY pyjama day? Fuck you guys!"
Jesus at the Disco
Jesus Finds The Molerat People Who Live Under Bethlehem
disco is heaven
Want to join my new religion?
the kkk
church christmas pageant where everyone's sober but it's based on the director's fever dream
Am I the only one who sees the giant demon? Just me? Okay...
“Oh god I think I’m starting my period”
A party is held with a priest in the middle
"Let's get this secret Vatican sex party rolling!"
The new avengers endgame set is looking great!!
You know, guys, I try not to be a bother but...I can’t help but feel like I missed a dress code memo for this wedding??? It’s cocktail, right??”
Jesus visits Hogwarts
I must really stink if no one will even come close to me
the extra ass funeral i DESERVE
star wars life day
A cult at it’s best-- closest
Shrek 5, Jesus is still there I guess
Tumblr media
originally taken from: the Royal Opera House, Covent Garden’s 2013 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Les vêpres siciliennes, featuring Bryan Hymel (left, standing) as Henri, Lianna Haroutounian (center, kneeling in the black gown) as Duchess Hélène, and Erwin Schrott (kneeling to her right) as Jean Procida
Responses:
When the director’s like “great rehearsal guys, just a few notes before I let you go” but it’s already 9:13 and your mom’s waiting in the parking lot
loyalist of subjects
bow before your queen
They forgot to take down the stage boxes after the Vienna opera ball but the show must go on.
somebody forgot to book chairs for this funeral
Me sharing God’s (Hayley koyoko) word on the discord server
mass execution bc the oboe solo sucked ass-- closest
That’s too many black suits I can’t see shit
I can’t even tell what’s going on here
8th grade school assembly about how it's uncool to shit on the walls at school
let's all get fancy so we can go to the opera and sit on the stage (idk this one's hard lol)
"Yes i am a time traveller, now don't freak out"
Tfw you forget to pay your lighting bills
White guys make decisions that will benefit them and screw someone that’s not a white guy over-- OUCH but that is too real (although not really in context here)
dead man gives speech at his own funeral
brotus and the boys ??? last meeting before the stabbing
high society social function ends in mass murder-- right opera, wrong scene
Someone walks into the talent show stage with a dog
Black-dressed bitches worship a man.
Worst school assembly of all time
POV:You're the window in the classroom and someone said "its snowing"
When the conductor shows up fashionably late to the orchestra concert
That's what you get for choosing the cheapest ticket option, get back in the mud where you belong
?
theyre just trying to jump into a grave at a funeral leabe them alone this is normal
oh my god he really whipped his dick out in front of everyone, this is just like in 1776 guys, except some women are actually in the room this time,
A funeral, stop wearing so much black
I want to slap their bald heads like rice
Tumblr media
originally taken from: the Teatro Real Madrid’s 2018 staging of Gaetano Donizetti’s Lucia di Lammermoor, featuring Roberto Tagliavini (right) as Raimondo
Responses:
Crowd “haha!! Looks like someone missed the all-black memo!! Now it’s laugh-in-your-face time! / Guy on the floor (whispering to guy against wall): go, save yourself! I’ll hold them off...”
if i leave now i wont be a witness and can tell the police i had no idea
it was the best of times, it was the worst of times
Guy in the back pretends to help but is to far away to even know what’s going on.
priest walks in on beginning of an orgy, contemplated joining but is too scared-
when someone brings up capitalism but you’re just trying to play minecraft
lol lets trample this guy while the judge isnt looking
Again. Too many black costumes
Loved this Dostoevsky novel
i would know if opera directors were more creative with clothing choices ngl
me on parties lol
"imma just sneak out of here while everyone else is distracted"
"Where did he get this flooring!? Amazing!"
Everyone act normal!
The tell tale heart but they got REALLY drunk
man tposes to ward off vampires after being caught undercover
boys ???? night
the priest really shouldn't have visited the insane asylum-- closest
He’s FINE everyone’s been hit by a car before
Something happens in a room.
Perks of being a wallflower
There's always that one person in the fight whos trying not to get involved when they really wanna
Oh good, they’re all posing for a Rembrandt painting, I can just sneeeeaaak out the back here...
The gamer livestreaming Resident Evil + everyone watching the stream ? waiting for him to open the door just knowing it will trigger a chase scene
Quick!
the guy t posing in the back is regretting his every decision.-- also accurate
the us senate jumps ted cruz, some other wack ass gop senator is trying to sneak away
...I spoke too soon, however this is a James Bond mission
Queers help fellow queer do math but it's a struggle
33 notes · View notes
ayma-nidiot · 3 years
Text
“Don’t Speak Their Names” - Shrimpshipping fic Chapter 27
This chapter can be found here on AO3.
Chapter 27 - I Challenge My Fate
~07 November 2005~ 
“President Phuckdis! Reporting in, sir!” A Buster Blader saluted his general. 
“Proceed, Captain.”
“Several enemies calling themselves ‘Earthbound Gods’ started attacking Joey and his friends. Apparently, Joey lost a duel, and last I checked, he was engaged in battle with a snake-like monster. There are now hundreds of enemy soldiers coming this way! It’s only a matter of time before-”
“Th-They’re here!” shouted a few guards who stood watch at the door. “Aaaaaaargh!”
“Hah!” Watda led the charge, showing no mercy in cutting down the guards. He aggressively attacked Joey and showed little interest in anything else. “How kind of you to show me where you lowlifes camp out! Now, give me Uru or else!”
“Never!” Joey swiped at Watda’s feet with his Salamandra sword, “summoned” from his Duel Disk.
“Oh?” Watda smirked as he jumped over the sword like a jump rope. “Why would you want to protect that ‘dung beetle…’ or whatever it is you called him?”
“Hahaha…” cackled a voice from behind Joey. “I wonder that, too. Well, no matter, since that will be your first and last mistake!”
“Weevil!” William growled at the half-shifted Weevil. “Dammit, he escaped!”
“What do you mean, ‘escaped?’” Joey wanted to know.
“William, you moron!” Phuckdis bopped his brother with the blunt end of his sword.
“Hey, Joey!” Weevil’s arms hardened, glowing blood-red. “Think fast!”
“Wh-What?” Joey darted around for the agile bug duelist. Before he could really process what was going on, Weevil found him first, stabbing his non-sword arm with a sharp spider arm. “Aaaah! You… You mosquito…”
“A mosquito, am I?” Weevil continued to assault Joey, who had to parry the attacks with a shaky arm. “Hah! A mosquito is but a caterpillar compared to the monster I’ve become, compliments of my fellow Earthbound Gods!” 
“You’ve gone absolutely batshit, Weevil! Open your eyes, why don’t you!”
“Nah, how about no.” Weevil stabbed Joey’s sword hand so hard that the Salamandra sword went flying. “But I’ll gladly open a giant wound in your belly and let the maggots have at you. I’ll make you suffer for what you’ve done in the past…”
“G-Ggh…” Joey looked up at his former Battle City rival, knowing his life was as good as done.
“The only one who will be suffering here is you, Weevil! Amazoness Empress, get ‘im!” exclaimed a debilitated Mai. 
“Ah…” All of the excitement of battle left Weevil in an instant, and he knelt to the ground in pain. 
“Bind Weevil at once!” Phuckdis ordered. “And be quick about it!”
“Yes, sir!” Several Magician Girl monsters got to work right away.
“Mai…” Joey got up, hoping to help the woman he loved - that was until Watda got in his path. 
“Going somewhere, Wheeler?” Watda slashed down a few Club members who got between him and Joey. “Not that it would do you any good, since your pretty little girlfriend is history!”
“Get off her, you thug!” Seeing Watda’s snake arms slither around Mai’s face pissed the hell out of Joey.
“Yeah, you’re probably right. I want to hear her scream in agony after I take your life away!”
“Ggh…!” Joey tried to pick up the Salamandra. “Rex… Where the hell are… you…”
“Dammit, get out of our way!” Though the enemies Amber fought on the way to the Club meeting room were weak, their numbers were enough to overwhelm her.
“Need some help?” Rex asked before transforming himself, felling most of the enemies and weakening the rest.
“Papa! You shouldn’t be-” Amber would have scolded her mother if she hadn’t noticed what Rex’s transformation had done.
“Hehe!” Rex remained in rabbit form as he ran with Amber. “I might not be a strong monster, but I’ve got one heck of a special ability. Surprised?”
“Yeah, at the fact that your baby bump is still intact when you switch forms. Shapeshifter physiology is a weird thing, isn’t it?”
“It shouldn’t be for a girl genius like you.” 
“Papa… I know the circumstances are grave, but I don’t want you to push yourself. Let your strong daughter do the fighting.”
Rex’s endurance barely held on long enough to reach the Tabletop Gaming Club’s meeting room. As soon as he turned back into a human, his ankles swelled badly, and held onto Amber as a crutch.
“I got you, Papa. Oh?” No sooner had Rex reverted forms when Amber saw a fight going on well inside their meeting room, in the health/recreation center.
Unlike Amber, Rex recognized Watda instantly - as well as the captive he held by the neck. “That’s the guy who captured me! And he’s got Joey! Ugh!” Rex strained to transform.
“Papa, are you nuts? That man is the Crimson Devil, the strongest of the Earthbound Gods! Even I’m not match for him! H-Hey, get back here!” Amber couldn’t stop her mother from running to Watda in human form.
“Hehehe…” Watda cackled as he raised Joey above the gathering crowd - most of whom were weak monsters that didn’t dare to raise a hand against Watda. “My Earthbound Gods have lost to your friends… It’s too bad that you really lucked out and ended up dueling me ! Although I have to commend your bravery, Mr. Wheeler. It’s too bad you’re not as smart or strong as you are reckless.”
“Joey!” As much as Mai wanted to rescue the man she loved, enemies restrained her. “No! Take me instead, please!”
“D-Damn… you… Watda…” Having lost against Watda himself, Phuckdis barely had the strength to crawl on the floor, let alone fight back.
“Y-You’ll never… have… Urk!” Joey howled in pain as Watda’s nails dug into his neck, drawing blood.
“You’re trying to protect the man who tried to steal your soul, and the one whom you call a ‘duelin’ disgrace?’ Hah!” Watda used his free hand to grab Joey’s head, with the intent to twist it off. “I’ll show you the consequences of being a nice guy, you bleeding-heart filth! You don’t even deserve the honour of final words!”
“And I’ll show you the consequences of messing with my friends!” Rex thundered as he quickly shifted and latched onto one of Watda’s arms.
“Wh-What? Yeowch!” Thanks to Rex’s special effect, Watda could feel his strength draining. “You damned rabbit! How did you escape?”
“Not gonna tell you! But you best think how you’re going to escape!”
“What do you- Argh!” Before Watda could even turn around, an arrow from Amber pierced his shoulder.
“You’re… gonna pay!” Amber continued to shoot a flurry of arrows, chasing Watda out of the building. “Wait! ...Dammit, he got away! Let me-”
From an all-fours position, Rex grabbed one of Amber’s ankles. “Amber, not now… Just look around you.”
“Papa…” Amber noticed that in this battle, many Club members have already died, the vast majority of them killed by Watda.
“At least we know who are enemies are now.”
“...Fine.” Amber turned back into a human and glanced at Joey. “Just so you know, I still hate you. I didn’t do what I did because I consider you a friend.”
“Hehe, I know you do. You just won’t admit it!” Joey’s tone turned serious when he looked down at Rex. “That was a bold thing you did, man. Not only are you super pregnant, but you got beat to a pulp for gods know how long. I’m… I’m sorry for all that I said about you in the past. I take it all back.”
“It’s cool, dude…” Rex decided he couldn’t move anymore, and leaned against a giant wooden table for rest.
“Ugh.” Amber instead turned her attention to her incapacitated allies, Phuckdis and William. “Guys, are you okay?”
“Barely…” Phuckdis managed to stand on his feet, and helped his brother stand up too. “More importantly, Lady Amber… We’ve finally done it. We can now complete our mission.”
“Oh?” Amber looked to the smaller crowd, gathered around… something.
“‘Lady’ Amber? Come to think of it, I think I’ve heard her called that before…” Rex couldn’t see what was going on, even though he wasn’t very far.
“...Stay where you are, Rex.” Amber didn’t allow Rex to move one more inch forward.
“Amber?” Rex’s heart broke a little when Amber called him by his name. “Let me see what’s the ruckus over there!”
“Oh, I will.” Amber gestured for her soldiers to move out of the way, and when they dispersed, Rex could see Weevil - bound at the ankles, weak, and completely void of emotion.
“Weevil! You’re okay…” Rex attempted to crawl over to where Weevil was, but the ankle pain held him back.
“Rex… I don’t think you realize what kind of enemies we’re up against.”
“I’ve learned enough when I was captured. They want Weevil to join them because he’s an almighty god. And who wouldn’t?”
“They don’t want him for just any reason… He’s an Earthbound God, destined to cause ruin.”
Rex remembered what Dip told him, but tried to deny it. “Th-That’s not true! I thought you knew better than anyone that he can use his powers for good!”
“For now, yes… But in time… In time…” Amber walked towards Weevil and stared him down. “Their minds will become so corrupt that they have no choice but to fulfill their destiny. And when they’re with their own kind, they’ll cause unspeakable destruction.”
“Amber, that’s nonsense!”
Amber’s body and voice shook. “After seeing this destruction myself, I can hardly call it nonsense! The Earthbound Gods are what ruined my future! It was them… They were the ones who…”
“You’re not serious…?” Rex hugged himself to stop trembling.
“I saw it with my own eyes! Weevil was the one who killed my baby brother… My boyfriend…” Amber looked at the members of the “Dweeb Patrol,” who were even more confused than Rex. “All of you… And… you, Rex. Weevil killed you right in front of me.”
“Oh… my gods…” Rex wanted to throw up just from hearing this awful story.
“This… has been my mission… all along…” Amber half-shifted and pointed her arrow at Weevil, who looked up at her without a gleam in his eyes.
“Amber!” Rex couldn’t stop crying. “Do you mean to tell me you were duping me this whole time? That all along, your only real goal was to kill Weevil?”
“That’s right.  This overgrown spider is the only thing standing between our future and complete freedom!”
“Amber…” Rex cried. “I… I can’t believe what I’m hearing… No, I won’t believe it!”
“And now… I challenge my fate!” Amber’s arrow glowed brightly.
“Do it, Lady Amber.” Phuckdis ordered. “Your mother is already pregnant with your present self, so you can still live. And Francis… He never deserved to live in such a terrible future. Do this, and his soul will be appeased.”
“Haha…” Amber’s eyes hardened on Weevil. “I’m going to free everyone… I’m going to save the world! All I have to do is kill one bloody Earthbound God! And I’m going to do it in front of your very eyes, Rex!”
“Amber… Argh!” No matter how much it hurt, no matter how much Phuckdis and William pulled his legs, Rex crawled forward. 
“Don’t you dare interfere in our mission, Rex!” Phuckdis threatened to stab Rex’s legs with his sword. “I don’t care if you’re pregnant! I won’t hesitate to hurt you!”
“Amber… I know you don’t want to do this. The bonds your father and I have forged with you over the past few months are real. They’re not something you want to end with a stupid, puny arrow. Even though you’re barely younger than us, Weevil and I really love you as our daughter. Isn’t there any room in your heart for the father who raised you? The father who taught you everything there is to know about insects and dueling? The father would would take all the pain and suffering in the world just to make you happy?”
“Shut… up…” Amber started to tear up.
“Amber… I want us to live and bond as a family. There’s got to be another way. Let’s put all this behind us and go on another mall trip, or walk in the park. But whatever you do… please, don’t do this.”
“Shut up, Rex! You’re just making it harder!” Amber’s aim at Weevil’s heart began to waver. 
“But you can save him! We’ve done it before!”
“No. Look at him! He’s too far gone now... He doesn’t even remember who the fuck you are, Rex! This is the only way I can save the world - and Weevil’s soul. I… I don’t want to see this man suffer in the soulless shell that was once Weevil Underwood. I’d… rather… Sniff…”
“Rex… Weevil…” Even the normally-proud Joey, the Joey that once despised Rex and Weevil with everything he had, couldn’t help but shed tears of his own.
“Weevil…” Amber choked on her own breath, and she pulled her bowstring as far back as she could. “Sorry, not sorry.”
So were Amber’s final words as she tearfully let her arrow fly at Weevil full speed.
2 notes · View notes
superemeralds · 6 years
Note
I never understood this about Shadow, why does he even work with GUN?
*rubs my gay little hands together*
Finally it’s time for my analysis of GUN, the current GUN commander, Shadow’s relationship with both of them and speculations on the future…………..
warning: it’s actually gonna get……….. really wild. This turned out to be mainly an analysis of the GUN commander because he is the main factor that influences shadows decision but im… hoooo boy.
TLDR;
The commander is a Robotnik and the character development he went through, paired with Shadows acceptance of his judgement + forgiveness of his actions, as well as their friendly bond by the end of the game, gave Shadow the feeling that it is a good idea to join forces with GUN to keep his promise to Maria in keeping the planet safe.
( +3k words; all referenced videos and audio files are transcribed for accessibility; sources/references at the bottom)
If you have any questions or comments feel free to shoot me an ask! If you have anything to add or critique (because I’m 49320% sure i forgot half of the things i wanted to address again), feel free to add to my post!
Okay so before we can make out why Shadow would join GUN, we should establish why people think he wouldn’t.
As you said, you can’t understand his decision (very understandably so), therefor let’s sum up why you feel like this, and then I’ll try to explain how all that can actually lead to him joining in the end.
We all know GUN is responsible for Maria’s death, so why would Shadow want to join them? It doesn’t make sense!
Well, you see, it doesn’t. Things don’t always make sense. Not on first sight anyways.
First thing we should note is that the current GUN commander (I’ll talk abt him a lot now) and his family were aboard the ARK during the time that Shadow was created. We don’t know why, as there are no hints towards his parents’ jobs. There are also little hints to GUN actually having employees up there.
It is confirmed that GUN was funding the ARK project and all scientists abroad, they probably had agents up there that would live among the scientists to make sure to report back to the base frequently and keep HQ up-to-date about new findings and development of the experiments.
If the future commander was aware of that, or his parents were part of GUN, is not clear.
Speculative it is to say that he probably saw the GUN soldiers in the big invasion that killed his family (his parents either were scientists that were exterminated so they wouldn’t talk, or they were GUN agents that chose to defend the scientists, or they were killed by the artificial chaos that went on a rampage*) as heroes, since he canonically blames Shadow for everything.
He did have a deep and strong fear of Shadow since the very beginning because he happened to see Gerald and Black doom in a room with Shadow together at one point in time and associated Shadow with the alien ever since. It’s possible he didn’t know about Maria being very close to him, or he tolerated it because it was her.
Actually. 
Actually hold your fucking horses everyone I’m onto something.
Okay so… You know how the commander is super inconsistent with the whole family and Maria dying deal right?
SHADOW: Damn it! What does it all mean? These memories… thedoctor’s actions and words… nothing makes sense! Wasit real?
* - The GUN Commander walks up to Shadow, and points a handgun athim.
GUN COMMANDER: It’s been a long time… Shadow.
SHADOW: Who are you?! And how do you know my name?
GUN COMMANDER: I know you… Shadow the Hedgehog. You killedeveryone I loved… myfamily… Maria. I’ve been waiting all my life for this day!
SHADOW: What?! Me… and Maria?
* - A younger GUN Commander and Maria are running in a hall on theARK. He hits his ass to taunt Maria, and she catches up to him.She holds him in place, but he starts running again.
GUN COMMANDER (voiceover): Maria was like a sister to me. She wasthe only family I knew! And because of you… she waskilled!
* - The younger GUN-C gets to the door to Geral’d lab, and looksin the glass. Inside, Gerald and Black Doom are talking nearShadow’s pod.
GUN COMMANDER (voiceover): Witnessing it all… the plan to createthat horrifying evil creature... that black creature, and that insane professor who unleashed it all!
* - As the pod starts to move, the young GUN-C starts screaming.The pod sits upright, and Shadow opens his eyes.
SHADOW: So… the professor created me… with Black Doom?
GUN COMMANDER: You don’t fool me! It’s not just about Maria.Thanks to you, everyone I knewand loved was killed when the ARK was destroyed. Worst of all, myfamily! Finally… justice is served!
I bolded everything that is important to my analysis,,,,
ANYWAYS AS I WAS SAYING.
The Commanders words about his family and Maria being killed are all jumbled. One moment Maria is the only family he had, the next everyone he knew and loved was killed. Among those people Maria and his family.
We have no canon confirmation as to who his family was and why they were killed on the ARK. (Read speculation above again if needed, marked with an *)So what if Maria was his family? What if he was a Robotnik himself?
Who says that he knew about Ivo’s parents?
He might be blood related, or adopted by Gerald.
How else would a kid end up on a Space Station that is primarily for scientific research? Maria and the future commander should logically be the only children up there, because Gerald brought them with him. 
The commander witnessed Shadow’s creation and knows that Gerald was involved in it. He felt a deep hatred for Shadow, aswell as Gerald, for what happened. He mainly blames Shadow for the incident on ARK, but he also holds resentment towards Gerald for having created Shadow in the first place. (”The insane professor that unleashed it all!”)
This would imply that the commander refuses to see Gerald as part of his family anymore after that had happened, which would figuratively make Gerald “dead to him.” Maria would be the only family he had left after that, and she was killed on the ARK.
He was not there when it happened, he was escorted by GUN back to earth while Maria tried to defend Shadow and help him escape. He never got told how she died, he just, presumably, saw her on the list of victims.
This event shaped the commander into wanting to become someone who can protect the innocent from harm and prevent needless death.
We see his compassion in other cutscenes!
* - The Presiden’t helicopter touches down on the landing pad andseveral GUN soldiers run over to it. Slightly later, the GUNCommander helps the President walk to the control room. The Presidentsits down in a chair.
GUN COMMANDER: Sir, are you all right?
PRESIDENT: Never mind me… What about the people of Central City?
GUN COMMANDER: No need to worry, sir. Orders were issuedyesterday, and  everyone hasbeen evacuated to the safe zone.
[…]
GUN COMMANDER: So he’s finally decided to show himself. Attentionall command units! Mobilizeall Mech battle sections! Prepare all weapons to strikeincoming vessels! Mobilize “Diablon”!
GUN SOLDIR: But sir! It’s not ready yet!
GUN COMMANDER: I don’t care!! We have NO other option!! We MUSTprotect the President, andthe Chaos Emeralds, at all costs.
* - In the White House, the President is looking at Westopolisfrom the balcony. The sky is dark red/orange. The GUNCommander and two other soldiers come in through the door.
GUN COMMANDER: Sir, your transport is ready. We must go now! Sir,please!
PRESIDENT: Once again… I have failed my duty to protect ournation.
GUN COMMANDER: Sir, it’s not over! We can continue to fight. Theblack aliens may haverendered us unable for now, but we will rally, sir. You  must keep yournation strong and together.
PRESIDENT: Yes, keep the nation united. No matter what happens,we’ll never surrender to these creatures.*looks at the picture of Sonic and Shadow* This much I learnedfrom them.
GUN COMMANDER: Sir, please hurry.
PRESIDENT: Okay.
* - The President and the two soldiers start to leave. The GUNCommander looks at the picture the President keeps on his desk before leavinghimself.
GUN COMMANDER: The black creatures will feel their own bloodyHell!
Again, bold lines are important!
The commander made sure to evacuate the entire population of a major city that is based off the Washington metropolitan area with a populus of over 6 Million people within just one single day.
For reference I researched how long it normally takes to evacuate big cities in real life.
“At around 10 am on August 28, Mayor Ray Nagin declared a mandatory evacuation of the city, after Hurricane Katrina was updated to a Category 5, the strongest possible hurricane. By the time the hurricane hit, at around 7 AM on August 29, later studies revealed that around 90% of the New Orleans population left. That’s around one million people within 21 hours.
Preparations for Hurricane Katrina - Wikipedia
This is important, as we can guestimate just how long an evacuation could take, if we assume that the cities can evacuate at a similar rate to New Orleans. Doing the math, this means that New York City takes around 8 days to clear out, and Tokyo needs around two weeks or so.
Thing is, however, evacuation procedures will likely suffer because these cities are much larger than New Orleans, so you might need to add a few days to them.
So, it’s more likely that NYC and Tokyo would need at least two weeks before the cities could be cleared.”
source
So he really did something really amazing.
He prioritizes to keep the President and the chaos emeralds safe above anything else and risks unleashing a new and unreliable weapon; and against what you might think- that he’s selfish/doesn’t care about the citizens- the reason he prioritizes the emeralds over people….. 1) They’ve already been evacuated.2) If Black Doom gets all of the Chaos Emeralds there won’t be an Earth anymore. No Humanity. He can think critically and in advance yall.
Also consider how he gives the President hope, not to give up. He’s confident in his abilities as commander, and his his soldiers, to do whatever they can to keep the people of their country, and the entire world, save. And he also emphasizes that the nation themselves should not loose hope, that the President should be a positive influence and stand up against the intruders (the aliens).
He also says he’ll return “their bloody hell” to the aliens, which 1) references his association of Shadow with those aliens and his firm belief that Shadow killed Maria (and by extend his (grand?)father Gerald ?).2) references the fact that the aliens have taken countless of soldiers lives already and that he wishes to return that favour to their kind.
The commander is generally a justice loving person who will do anything in his power to do the right thing. When it comes to Shadow, though, he seems to not have his personal grudge towards him under control and he gets a little extreme with his idea of justice.
GUN COMMANDER: Shadow? Deploy the troops, NOW! And if you findShadow with the black aliens…then kill them all.
GUN SOLDIER: But sir, isn’t Shadow on our side–
GUN COMMANDER: I gave you an order, soldier! He’s evil and he’sthe enemy!
//
GUN COMMANDER: Alert all field commanders in Sector B. I’mauthorizing full use of alltactical weapons. I want both black aliens and Shadow stopped andburied. Failure, is not an option.
//
GUN COMMANDER: Hm-hm… It’s over, Shadow. You’ll finally beexposed and eradicated forthe evil that you are.
//
GUN COMMANDER (radio): Come in, Eclipse Cannon! He must be stoppedat all costs! Take him out... that’s an order!
//
GUN COMMANDER: Shadow! Damn you! It’s been fifty years… justicewill finally be served.*cocks handgun*
This emotional side of him is a great flaw in a man of his position, but also a great strength.
As we know he confronted Shadow about his hatred and literally attempted to personally kill him.
* - He fires his gun, but Shadow’s now standing behind theCommander, faced away from him, with his eyes closed.
SHADOW: If what you say is true, then I will respectfully acceptmy fate.
GUN COMMANDER: You mean to tell me that, you really don’t remembera thing?
SHADOW: But I just need some time… to uncover the real truth.
* - As Shadow walks off, the Commander looks at his gun and fallsto his knees.
Shadow admits to not remembering any of what he is saying, but that he will take responsibility for those things if it’s true (WHILE NOT EVEN REMEMBERING ANY OF IT). This means that Shadow accepts the justice the commander wanted to serve. And also that he forgives him for being so bitter about it, for being so incredibly angry.
You might think it is because he knows what it’s like to hate someone for killing your loved one and then doing everything to avenge them but…. he doesn’t remember. He doesn’t remember SA2. All he knows is the empty feeling of rage and sorrow, that he can’t really put any context on. (He remembered that Maria died and that he wasn’t able to save her, but he never remembered how she died. This had to be told to him by someone else. Either it was directly shown to him by Black Doom when he uses chaos control to show Shadow the past, or by Doom’s Eye in a cutscene before a boss fight. (iirc anyways because I’ve gone through so much cutscene and script material now that I might mix some stuff up, please correct me if I’m wrong).
Once the commander learns that Shadow doesn’t remember anything and fucking accepts his plans to kill him, he is SHOCKED.
He looks at his gun, as if he’s realizing just what the fuck he was doing, threatening and literally trying to kill Shadow in an attempt to serve “justice”. He falls to his knees in shame for his misguided behaviour. He realized how foolish and childish is obsessive pursuit of Shadow was.
Later in The Last Way when Gerald tells the truth about Shadow and Black Dooms relation and Shadow saves the world….
* - All of the members are cheering and yelling.
GUN COMMANDER: *sigh*
* - The President pats the Commander’s back.
PRESIDENT: How ironic… After the way we all treated him, hesaved us all i the end. We were all wrong about the professor. Let us pay homageto Professor Gerald. Let’s work to ensure peace and prosperity for a brighter future! What do you say, Commander?
GUN COMMANDER: Excellent idea, Mister President.
They feel guilty for holding Shadow accountable for the destruction the aliens caused, aswell as for what happened to Gerald. They plan to reform the way they act in homage of Gerald Robotnik (and Shadow the hedgehog).
Now, it’s not confirmed when exactly in the timeline it is, but the commander does say this, but in Space Gadget (after completing the game I assume) during the training gameplay it is possible to get a random call from the commander which says:
“Shadow, do you read me? First… I want to apologize, for the other day. Actually, I just became a grandfather last week and I was thinking of maybe having you over. I know that training is tough, but try and do your best.”
(here’s the voice file in case you want to hear it)
This confirms that the commander is trying to build a friendly relationship with Shadow now and wants him to be part of his family (again. Since they are both Robotniks.). It could either be an invitation after Shadow already had joined GUN, or, and I think that’s more likely, he wants to discuss that matter when Shadow pays him a visit and they can talk about it in person.
Now Shadow does forgive the commander for his actions, and he accepts that what happened to Maria lies in the past and that it is not the fault of anyone else but the person that shot her, so he can’t be angry at the entire human race for it. He understands it now.
The commander makes a genuine effort to keep the country, and the planet, save; and GUN is an organization that focuses on keeping the world save. Shadow knows that it is impossible for one person alone to do it, so he likely sees this as a good option for help since he’s willing to cooperate with this commander. Due to his old age he would have to retire soon, though, so Shadow would also likely want to be inside that system to have influence on the new leaders in the future, so that GUN does not stray the wrong path again. (Be it shady experiments or useless killing.)
He likely agreed upon the request under the condition that OMEGA could join along with him, as well as the condition that he, OMEGA and Rouge are an inseparable Team that will work together from this day forth.
This is how I think it went.
Yes I got lazy towards the end because it’s super hot and I’m sweaty and my laptop is literally wet from my sweaty hands its disgusting akjsfhka
If you have any questions or comments feel free to shoot me an ask! If you have anything to add or critique (because I’m 49320% sure i forgot half of the things i wanted to address again), feel free to add to my post!
sources: (take the wiki ones with a grain of salt i only referred to the stuff that is absolute fact (sourced trivia, quotes and plot line); not personality descriptions or anything interpretative stuff since the wiki is also fan made and i disagree with some of that)
http://sonic.wikia.com/wiki/Shadow_the_Hedgehog_(game)
http://sonic.wikia.com/wiki/Commander
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/ps2/926671-shadow-the-hedgehog/faqs/39966
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mh7b_eml0EU (i used all 4 of those videos aswell as this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBisWZ8eKV0
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nefelibatally · 3 years
Text
5th String Receiver
They say to “leave it in Gods hands” but lately God been fumbling the ball... even if We don’t have the same God or beliefs, if you wanna pray for me then by all means I’m gonna bow my head with you. In hopes that your God listens to you in that moment unlike mine who’s voicemail box always seems to be full. Hopes that when your guardian angel calls mine they’re not put on hold like I usually am, I feel neglected. Like a child who’s parents are too busy and forgot to pay the babysitter, like their day job stresses them out too much leaving no love left for when they come home, so I get the short end of the stick, and act out to receive love that I am not given, then to get mad when I make small mistakes, so I am afraid to move at all now. During my worst and best moments in life I prayed to God, and I understand you give your toughest battles to your strongest soldiers... but sir I am tired. It seems like everyday I hit a new PR with all this weight on my shoulders. And when I hit a plateau, it kills me, my soul feels uncomfortable in my body ready to flee, the sunlight beaming thru my window waking me up every morning is like a preworkout I have to dry scoop as you hold my nose and force it down my throat to give me the energy I need through the day. I’d just like to know, Why do I pray to him if I’m the one in control of all my situations and if I’m not in control I can control my response to it, and things that are out of my control I leave to you... but I guess it wasn’t meant for me anyways huh, I guess I wasn’t meant to love that man, I guess my homie was meant to come to me cs he knew I wouldn’t judge him the night he killed himself, I guess that choice I made and struggled to chose wasn’t made for me, i guess living and existing is the only proper thing I can do now adays but even then your “followers” make me feel like that isn’t even enough, I feel likelike the church doesn’t except me because my love for women, because I like to sin... because I enjoy the free will I am given, it’s hard to be in control of something when I feel like a puppet with strings in a lifelong play walking around as the main character everyday living my life for myself yet being pulled around by somebody I give hope and faith to, Im at center stage with the spotlight on me, and it seems like God forgets his lines a lot. I feel like God turns his back on me a lot because he knows I’ll be okay regardless, he knows I overthink and he knows like a beat dog I’ll come back in hopes of being treated correctly; I feel like God gives me more lessons than blessings and even my blessings turn into lessons, I am constantly learning I am constantly hurting I am constantly lifting all this weight and sure it becomes easier but muscles only get bigger and stronger when they relax and the body takes in what is necessary, I haven’t eaten in 3 days. I sleep most the day away, I ask I ask for the energy, and the strength to get through this, to get through life, God please ask what the next line is man because i don’t know where do I go from here. I didn’t think we were gonna make it this far. I realized “praying to God” was manifestation of myself, I wasn’t praying to God to make my Life easier I was begging myself to change. I am the reason I am what I am, I gave myself the strength and the power to get through my toughest days. It is hard to maintain composure when I “let go and let God” because if he truly was in my corner why does he allow me to struggle so much. If he really was in my corner why do I still feel so alone, why does my soul feel like it’s bouncing around all inside this temple that is my earth bound body, I ask for a sign to say I am thirsty and I feel like you give me oasis water and say “at least it’s something work with it” sure Matthews 2820 for I am with you always up until the very end of age. But Please God if you are really with me. Answer the Gat Damn Phone for once.
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