#something does not want me alive and every day i'm here is my way of giving whatever the fuck that is the middle finger

[dimonds456]

sorry if i've been quiet, the anxieties have me.

but I have therapy tomorrow :) so hopefully things only go up from here.

#vent (kinda- happy ending) in the tags #filling in spaaace filling in spaaace #uh when i say “quiet” i mean like. in general over the past year #this time last year i was convinced i was going to die- among other things #the fact i'm still here is something i'm thankful for every day #something does not want me alive and every day i'm here is my way of giving whatever the fuck that is the middle finger #i'm here and i'm alive so fucking deal with it #that said; my mental state has been fuuuuuuuucked #also this time last year i was trying to recover from a really traumatic experience that lasted for 9 months #i'm still not recovered from it actually not even fucking close #i'm finally getting to a place where i feel that i can start talking about it (not to randos online tho sorry) but it took ages #but just knowing that the anniversary of it being “over” is coming up is like. doing something to me. #i still have a month- that anniversary is in August but like. shit. #this is why i haven't been uploading art like i used to when i was in the su fandom #i've been drawing slower and less frequently #and the art i do draw i don't always post (which was true even back then i probably only posted half of what I drew) #so i know that- at least back then- people have been worried about my sudden slowing down of artwork. this is why. #that said i've slowly been getting back into it. i actually got the urge to write today while i was at work (tho it faded when i got home) #which is a huge improvement #i am doing better! #the askblog has been helping a lot actually #even if it... does remind me of a different time (before everything went to shit). but like i think that's *why* it helps y'know? #but it also gives me a lot of anxiety so i can't do it all the time #my anxiety in general has gotten really fucking bad over the last month and a half and i'm not sure why. like it's always been there but. #but now it's like a hunched beast and literally appears out of nowhere #at least before i was always pretty sure what was causing it but now i have no idea #but thats what the therapy is for. that and the trauma fdgshajk #no doubt the two are linked probably #but soon i'll be better. soon i'll be able to move forward on all the projects i wanna work on #soon i'll be free y'know?

[verysium]

some thought on us/reader/yn (i don’t know how to address it lol 😭) and seeing ex-boyfriend, who preferably myb cheated and now is dump struck how we got a new boyfriend/it’s been some time since last seeing ex)

um.....i'm assuming the bllk boys are the new boyfriend for this. hopefully, that's what you meant, but here you go anon:

kaiser absolutely thrives off this situation. this is the perfect chance to stroke his ego, so he's going to take full advantage of it. definitely notices your ex before you do and tugs you closer, arm wrapped around your waist, nose buried in your hair. obviously, you can't see his facial expression, but you can tell by the way he's smirking that he's definitely up to no good. when your ex finally realizes that your new boyfriend is THE michael kaiser, he's like... 😏 that's right bitch. keep ogling. y/n's doing so much better without you. even better if your ex is actually a fan of kaiser. his sadistic ass will not let that go. you want my autograph or something? oh wait...sorry i don't give out autographs to losers. deliberately sets out on a mission to make your ex's day an absolute hell, and he's smug about it too. once your ex is gone, he looks back and asks...so did i do good? no, you don't need to thank me. i'm already thanking myself. (he's so stupid....i love him.)

sae's reaction is encapsulated in one word. side-eye. he won't actually say anything, but the judgmental aura leeching off him is already enough to send your ex running in the opposite direction. i don't even think your interaction is going to last more than one minute because sae is just so intimidating. the entirety of japan already knows who he is, and compared to him, your ex is an absolute nobody. poor guy will probably never recover especially after seeing you and sae on the front of every tabloid, magazine, and news channel. his ego is broken, masculinity in ruins, reputation in tatters. and honestly.....serves him right.

rin holds an even stronger grudge than you do. he never lets any personal slight go without consequence. probably still holding every single mistake your ex has made in the past five years over his head. what did you even see in him? he's a lukewarm piece of shit. again....like sae, i don't think you would even need to say anything because rin's death glare already says enough.

shidou needs a restraining order because i don't think your ex is going to make it out alive. probably goes straight for the throat too. he genuinely enjoys seeing other people in pain whether physically or emotionally. will probably make out with you right in front of your ex just to fuck with his mind a little bit. hand placement is key. he places one hand behind your head and the other one grasps your ass. uses a lot of tongue. leaves you winded with starry eyes and swollen lips before he maniacally grins at your ex. he definitely enjoyed that a little too much.

barou has a quiet but menacing aura. he's very tall, so i think he would likely tower over your ex. and uh...have you seen his physique? he would probably cross his arms, and his biceps would bulge, and he would whisper in the lowest, most chilling tone: you got a fucking problem? and that's about all it takes because your ex may be a wimp but at least he has enough self-preservation to know you don't mess with someone like barou. probably kisses you on the forehead after that and his voice softens just tad...you okay, baby? (dfhkjsdhf i just blushed)

nagi wouldn't really care. nothing fazes him, especially not your ex because he's in the past now and that makes him irrelevant. but he definitely does not back down from subtly throwing some insults. oh...him? he's just y/n's ex. a weak guy not worth the hassle. don't bother. if your ex is stupid enough to actually confront him though....he's not going to hold back. shut up. you sure bark a lot for someone with no bite. pet store's two blocks away. maybe you should check out a new collar. lmao nagi can be painfully rude when he wants to be.

#asks #blue lock #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #michael kaiser #michael kaiser x you #kaiser x reader #sae itoshi #sae itoshi x reader #rin itoshi #rin itoshi x reader #shidou x reader #shidou ryusei #shidou ryuusei x reader #barou shouei #barou shoei x reader #bllk fluff #nagi seishiro #nagi x reader #nagi x you #nagi x y/n #rin itoshi x y/n #rin itoshi x you #sae itoshi x y/n #sae itoshi x you #michael kaiser x reader #michael kaiser x y/n

[spicysix]

📖 + "I think... I'm in love with (Name)" || "Congrats on being the last one to find out" prompt w eddie omgomgomg💗 also congrats on 400 angel <33

thank you my loveee 💖💖💖

here comes, hope you like it! (a little dialogue heavy, sorry for that!)

join the celebration!

every day for us, something new

"Gonna make some more popcorn, guys! Get the next one ready," you said, getting up from the couch where you were sitting between Eddie and Argyle.

"Get me another coke, please!" Robin, from the floor, asked.

"Oh, get me another beer, sweetums, will 'ya?" Eddie joined in.

"No one else ask me anything, I don't have hands for more!" you exclaimed before leaving for the kitchen.

Movie nights were routine at this point. After all the trauma and the babysitting and the saving the world, the least you all deserved were some fun nights chilling with your friends. Steve or Nancy would host, you'd all take turns choosing movies for the week, and you'd get together to watch and gossip and just be around each other in non-threatening ways. There was no bond like the one created between life-or-death situations.

Eddie's eyes followed you as you walked out of Steve's living room. Jonathan chuckled.

"What?" Eddie asked and Nancy and Robin groaned in unison.

"You are. So. Dense," Nancy complained.

"I don't think he's dense, I think he's just stupid," Robin completed. Eddie hated how she and Nancy came to sharing a single braincell lately.

"C'mon, let's take it easy on our brochacho. The matters of the heart aren't easy," Argyle said, words all considerate but his smirk was nothing but teasing, and Eddie wanted them all to just shut the fuck up.

There was a loud noise from the kitchen, and Eddie was up on his feet in an instant.

"Don't worry, I'm okay!" you called out before anyone could even say anything, to Eddie's relief, and he sat down again.

All of his friends were looking at him funny. What was this plot against him, honestly?

"What's going on?" he asked, waving his arms around in annoyance.

"Dude. Use a single neuron. You'll understand," Steve advised, letting out a dramatically exhausted sigh.

Eddie just stared back at them, one at a time, for several minutes. Trying to find the answers in one of his friends' eyes, or just hoping to be scary enough to make them tell him at once.

"I can't do this, he's the dumbest man alive," Jonathan said after a long while in silence.

What were you even doing in the kitchen for such a long time? Popcorn gets ready in like, five minutes.

"He's never been in love before, maybe he just doesn't recognize it," Steve pitched in, and he knew that information because Eddie had told him once.

What did it have to do with anything?

"What does being in love has anything to do with this? Who's in love here? No one's in lov-" he started, and then he stopped.

Thought about your smile, and that funny little laugh you saved only for his stupid jokes. The way you'd hug him tighter and longer than everyone else. The way you and Robin shared perfumes, a fragrance he didn't really like much, but on you he'd love - something about the way it'd interact with your natural skin smell, and it intoxicated him in the best of ways. He thought about how soft your skin was, and how he loved when you ran your fingers through his hair. He thought about how he thought about you first thing when he woke up, and he thought about you last thing before sleeping. How he thought about you even when asleep - how he'd dream of you, and him, your hands clasped together, your lips on his.

"Oh my god, I think I'm in love," he muttered.

"Congrats on being the last one to find out," Nancy answered. He just looked at her, freezing, hands trembling a little. "What are you thinking about so much, just go!" She nodded at the kitchen and, once again, Eddie was up on his feet in an instant.

He practically ran to the other room.

"Steve, your cabinets are a nightmare," you said, back turned to the door as you heard steps.

"Not Steve," he said, and you turned to face him. That smile, the one reserved just for him, on your lips.

"Eddie! Here to help me? Does anyone want something else?"

He just shook his head and walked closer to you. Took your hand on his, and your skin was just as soft as he thought about constantly.

"Is everything okay?" you asked.

He nodded, "Yeah, just came to a realization."

"Care to share with the class?" your words all teasing but your smile was nothing but sweet. He wanted to kiss you.

"I want to kiss you," he said out loud.

Your smile grew wider, "Well, do it, then."

And he did. And it was so much better than in his dreams. Yous lips were soft and tasted of whatever soda you were drinking, and your hands craddled his neck and you sure could feel his pulse going a million miles per second. But he didn't care, because you seemed eager for more, tongue poking at his lips and he let you in, and it was like fireworks exploding inside his head. He feelt fuzzy, and warm all over, and the happiest he's ever been. Because he's in love with you, he realized, and he was kissing you and you were kissing him back.

It felt like years before you separated, both panting a little.

"Oh, man, I like you so much," you mumbled, lips still almost pressed to his so he feelt every vibration in each of your words. It tingled him, head to toe, in and out.

"That's my realization," he responded, and you gave him another peck, and another one, and you were kissing him again when you heard steps behind you.

"C'mon, slow lovebirds, where's my damn popcorn? I wanna watch the sequel!" Robin showed up, picked up the popcorn bowl and her coke before leaving again.

You and Eddie laughed, and you gave him another peck, and another one, and you were kissing him again.

Neither of you got to watch much of the sequel.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson ficlet #stranger things #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fic #stranger things ficlet #lui's strange celebration #lsc 📖 #lui writes

[poweringthroughthis]

birthday cake | lee sangyeon

nsfw, mature content, minors DNI!

ship: lee sangyeon x male reader

desc: (name) isn't a big fan of his birthdays, so his friends decide to cheer him up with a particularly handsome gift this year.

Birthdays are no easy feat for (name). Between corporate slavery, a horrendous economy and a dead love life, there really isn't much to celebrate. Well, maybe except for his friends. With New constantly reprimanding him for his bad decisions, Changmin being the sweetest guy ever, Juyeon raising his standards in men and Kevin teaching him all the naughty things of the world, (name) appreciated those little troublemakers deeply.

So, despite not being the biggest self-lover on birthdays, the male did expect his friends would, at the very least, come over to his place, watch horror movies and build pillow forts as they bitch about anyone and everyone. Being far away from family made (name) cherish the boys' efforts all the more.

However, with no one even replying to his texts, let alone showing up at his apartment, he was more than a bit confused. The male was just about to call New and demand the reason behind their sudden silence when the doorbell rang.

(name) was more than relieved to hear the chime and was quick to open the door, not wanting the person to ring it again. The man's mouth opened, a bright smile already on his lips but before any words could leave him, a cake was shoved into his face and his vision was obstructed by the sugary mess.

The male was still blinking in surprise when the candles were blown off and someone clapped happily, a voice exclaiming, "Happy birthday!"

(name) finally managed to pry the cake away from his eyes, looking at the group of four that stood before him. They were all holding gifts and smiling widely at him.

"You're here," he mumbled, not even bothering to hide the happiness in his voice.

"Of course," Kevin exclaimed, stepping inside the house and taking off his shoes. "Why wouldn't we be?"

"I'm surprised you guys are here, to be honest," the birthday boy mumbled, still wiping the icing from his eyes and nose.

"And why is that?" Changmin asked.

"You weren't answering your phones."

"Oh, those..." Juyeon mumbled, looking at the other three for a brief second before continuing. "We left them in the car. You know how the signal sucks here."

(name) nodded. He didn't believe a word of it. "And who brought the cake?"

"Me," the black-haired male replied. "You said you loved that cheesecake so I decided to surprise you."

"Thank you, Chanhee." (name) smiled.

"No problem, dude. Now let's go and open your gifts!"

"Yes, please. I have a present too and I've been dying to give it to you!" Juyeon added excitedly, pushing past his friends and into the house.

The others followed him, leaving their shoes at the door.

(name) was feeling like the happiest person alive. His friends came to visit, brought him gifts and baked a cake for him. They didn't have to, but they did it anyway.

Chanhee noticed (name) and gave him a small smile. "It was a pretty last minute decision. Sorry, we couldn't do better."

"I think this is already amazing," the male replied, mirroring the other's smile.

"Hey! Stop flirting and get your asses in here," Juyeon called out.

Chanhee rolled his eyes. "We should go and stop him before he does something stupid."

The younger one nodded, following his friend into the living room.

They did all that (name) had envisioned. Watching horror movies(The Amityville franchise this year), eating the cake Chanhee baked and talking smack. Like clockwork. The smile didn't leave (name)'s face the entire night. A few drinks in and the guys were still sober, but way more relaxed.

"Guys, I have to say something." (name) began, the boys turning around to look at him with fond smiles on their faces.

"Thank you. Thank you for doing this every year. And on days when it's not even my birthday. Life is a lot less shittier because I have you all."

Perhaps it was the soju talking, but (name) felt like he needed to make it known how grateful he was for his boys.

"Aww you cutie, c'mere.." Kevin cooed at the male, making kissy faces as he tackled him into a hug, the birthday boy yelling for him to get away.

"Ewww cringe!" Chanhee fake-gagged as he made a disgusted expression.

"Shut up, Chanhee. We know you're the biggest crybaby deep down" Changmin shushed him.

"I think it's time to give you your gift," Juyeon whispered into (name)'s ear, his hot breath sending shivers down (name)'s spine.

"O-okay."

Juyeon smiled, standing up and walking towards the door, leaving (name) confused. Why didn't Juyeon bring the gift inside with him initially? He glanced over at the others who were looking into space, avoiding his gaze. Alert number 1.

"I swear to god y'all if this is something stupid like last ti-"

"Hello."

(name) stopped dead in his tracks as a deep, matured voice interrupted him. He turned around to see: Lee Sangyeon. His very attractive, very charming and very well-spoken neighbor, though (name) had barely exchanged anything past normal greetings with the man.

"So, remember how we were late? We were hastily searching for a good gift shop as the old one recently closed, and ran into this guy who was kind enough to help us navigate to a new one. Guess who it was?" Juyeon explained the last bit in a sing-song voice. "Exactly! Sangyeon hyung."

"And when we left for the same way, we talked a little more and realized he's your neighbor! What a small world." Changmin added.

Hyung? Damn Juyeon and his extroverted nature. And yes, Changmin, (name) is well aware of his hot neighbor. Thank yew. He's been purposely treading carefully around him in order to NOT make a fool of himself, which you've kinda defeated the whole point of?!

"Happy birthday! I hope you don't mind me. I was free and your friends insisted I join." Sangyeon offered a charming grin.

"Thank you. And ,N-no, no, not at all! I don't mind. Please, feel free to join anytime you'd like. I mean-" (name) rambled.

"Oh boy. I knew he was gonna shit himself" New sighed.

"I didn't say it was a bad thing. It's kinda cute. YOU'RE kinda cute." Sangyeon chuckled, and if the sound of it didn't send an electric jolt down (name)'s spine.

"So are we done yet or..?" Kevin yawned, leaning onto the couch. Everyone scurried off back to their places in the living room, continuing the movie they'd paused to drink. For a while, the boys made small talk with Sangyeon, (name) getting to know the man better. As time passed, they all became increasingly sleepy, but (name) and Sangyeon hardly ceased talking to each other, now cuddled up with each other. They clicked rather well.

"So, I think there's one last gift left. For both of you." Chanhee smirked.

"I agree," Sangyeon whispered.

Before (name) could blink, he was pulled into a warm embrace and his lips met Sangyeon's. It was gentle, yet firm, and (name) felt like he could die and be satisfied. The latter tasted of sweet wine, and the older's scent filled his senses as he pulled him closer, a soft sigh escaping him. Sangyeon's lips were soft and warm, and his tongue moved confidently against his own, making (name)'s toes curl.

As Sangyeon pulled back, a smile appeared on his face. (name) had been crushing over him for 2 weeks now. So is it safe to assume his feelings are somewhat reciprocated?

"How was that?" Sangyeon asked, his fingers stroking (name)'s hair.

"Amazing.." the latter breathed.

"I'm glad." The elder smiled, a soft chuckle escaping him. "Well, I hope you had a good birthday."

"Yes, and I have you to thank for it."

"Then perhaps we should do this again?"

"Definitely."

And (name) was sure his heart was about to burst with joy.

"Ahem."

New's voice caught their attention.

"Sorry for the interruption but it's getting late and we should leave," he announced, gesturing at the other 3 who were already gathering their belongings.

"Alright. You guys have fun and behave yourselves." Kevin grinned, bidding them a goodbye.

(name)'s eyes widened. "Yeah, bye Kevin!" he offered a tight-lipped smile, mouthing "I.will.Kill.You", knowing fully well it must have been the Canadian's idea to pull this stunt. "You needed this babe" Kevin whispered in the other's ear. "Thank me later", he left after blowing (name) a kiss, Chanhee and Changmin dragging him.

"Sangyeon, we hope we can see you around soon." Juyeon said.

"Definitely."

The birthday boy's eyes met with Sangyeon's, and (name) didn't miss the way the man's pupils dilated. He wasn't alone in his feelings.

"Happy birthday, again." The eldest of the 4 leaned forward and placed a tender kiss on (name)'s cheek, the gesture sending warmth throughout his body.

The moment the 4 left, (name) plopped onto the couch, still dazed from what had transpired.

"They really thought of everything."

"It seems so."

"Are you happy?"

"Yes, very."

"Good, that's what matters."

"Can I...can I kiss you again?"

"Of course."

Sangyeon cupped his cheeks, bringing their lips together. It was gentle and slow, yet there was a hint of hunger behind it.

"I've been thinking about this for a long time," Sangyeon admitted, his thumb brushing over (name)'s bottom lip.

"So have I."

"That's good to know."

The eldest captured (name)'s lips again, this time with more urgency. He sucked on his bottom lip, drawing a low moan from him. The sound spurred Sangyeon on, and his tongue slipped into the younger's mouth, eliciting another moan.

"I'm not quite finished yet. There are many other things I'd like to do to you."

"Such as?"

"You'll just have to wait and see."

The next thing (name) knew, he was being lifted up, the male's legs instinctively wrapping around his waist. Sangyeon carried him to his room, and the two fell onto the bed in a heap of tangled limbs. Their lips met again, the kiss becoming more passionate and urgent.

"Do you want me to keep going?" Sangyeon whispered against his lips, his fingers brushing the younger's cheek.

"Yes, please," (name) whined.

The older one wasted no time and started undressing the male beneath him. After he had stripped him down, the two kissed some more, their hands roaming each other's bodies.

"I'm going to make you feel good," Sangyeon breathed against his ear, his fingers trailing down his abdomen, causing him to shiver.

(name)'s eyes widened as the elder stood up and stripped down his lower half, his thick member on full display. The birthday boy swallowed nervously, his cock throbbing at the sight.

"You're already so hard." (name) breathed.

The latter was about to apologize, but his words were caught in his throat when he felt a wet heat envelope his length. He couldn't hold back a moan as he threw his head back.

(name) continued to suck on his length, eliciting a chorus of moans from the elder.

After a few minutes, Sangyeon hurriedly pulled (name)'s mouth away, biting his lips to stop himself from cumming.

"Mmh, I think you're ready," Sangyeon mumbled, and (name) let go of his member, wiping his mouth with his hand.

He reached the hem of the birthday boy's underwear, tugging it down. The cool air of the room caused the latter's member to twitch, and Sangyeon smiled. He laid (name) down face first on the bed, spread out. Kneeling between the younger's legs, he leaned down and spread his ass cheeks apart using his hands, licking his lips at the sight of the male's pink, puckered hole.

(name) gasped as he felt the wet heat of the elder's tongue circling his entrance. He gripped the sheets tightly as he felt the sensation of being stretched.

The younger male could only moan in response, the feeling of being penetrated by the elder's tongue was intoxicating. He could feel his orgasm approaching, and he arched his back, pressing his hips against Sangyeon's face.

"It's your birthday, but i'm the one eating the cake," the elder chuckled, and (name) whimpered, feeling the latter's tongue slide in deeper.

"Oh fuck," he moaned, his eyes rolling back in pleasure.

Sangyeon continued to fuck (name) with his tongue, and the younger male couldn't help but cry out in pleasure.

"I-I'm gonna cum," (name) whined.

"Go ahead, baby," the elder encouraged, and the younger male could only gasp and shudder as his orgasm ripped through him.

Sangyeon sat up and grabbed the bottle of lube on the bedside table. He squirted a generous amount onto his palm and spread it over his length.

"Ready, baby?"

"Yes, please," (name) nodded, spreading his legs wider.

Sangyeon lined himself up with the younger's entrance and pushed inside, eliciting a loud moan from the younger.

"F-fuck, you're so tight," the elder moaned, his eyes fluttering shut.

"Feels so good," (name) panted.

The elder started to thrust in and out of the younger male, and the latter could only moan in response.

"You feel so good around me," Sangyeon moaned, and (name) could only whine in response, his eyes rolling back in pleasure.

The older one leaned over, capturing his lips in a heated kiss.

The elder started thrusting faster, the sound of their skin slapping filling the room.

"Fuck, I'm close," the elder moaned, his eyes screwed shut.

"M-me too," (name) gasped.

Sangyeon gripped the younger's hips tighter and increased his pace, causing the latter to moan loudly.

"Fuck, I'm cumming," the elder growled, and he spilled inside the birthday boy.

"Holy shit," (name) breathed, his orgasm rippling through him.

The elder pulled out, the latter's cum coating the tip of his cock.

"Happy birthday to you," Sangyeon breathed, leaning down to kiss the birthday boy.

(name) sighed contently. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Making my birthday special."

"I'll make every birthday special, if you'll let me," the elder smiled, and the two kissed once more.

When the 4 were far away, New's voice broke the silence.

"Hey Juyeon.."

"Yes?"

"Do you think he'll actually thank us for setting him up with his crush?"

"Probably not.." Juyeon answered.

"Should we start running?"

"Yup."

"We're doomed."

"Well, it was worth it."

"Definitely."

"Happy Birthday, (name)." Kevin yelled into the night, wishing nothing but happiness for their friend, as the 4 walked home.

#kpop male idol #kpop x male reader #kpop x male reader smut #male idol x male reader #tbz x male reader #the boyz x male reader #the boyz x male reader smut #tbz x male reader smut #sangyeon x male reader #sangyeon x male reader smut #male reader insert #x male reader

[jasntodds]

Alive | J.T.

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Reader

Request: yes, here

Summary: Red Hood shows up at your apartment only to reveal he's your not-so-dead boyfriend

Warnings: Swearing, 18+, smut, some fluff, mentions of death, mentions of canon drug use (he's not actually high in this but it's mentioned)

Words: 3,412

A/n: A huge thank you to @tenpintsof-sundrop for the idea 😭 please go check them out if you haven't already!! This kept turning into angst (why can't I just write fluff and smut ffs) which is why it took forever I'm so sorry to the anon who requested this lol but there's no angst!! If you wanna be tagged in my fics, you can click the link below, send me an ask/comment, or follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary and turn on notifications if you prefer that!!

masterlist | request info | tag list

Gotham’s city lights are the only thing illuminating parts of your room where your curtains don’t quite close all of the way. The sounds of distant sirens and passing cars echo into your room as you’re finally getting some much-needed sleep. Bruce called you three days ago with the news about Jason. Nothing really seems worth the energy anymore, including sleep but tonight it’s as if your body finally caved under the pressure of grief. But, you’re not asleep long before something wakes you up.

You stir awake to the sound of creaking near the window. Your eyes shoot open as you keep on your side, facing the opposite direction. Your heart starts to thunder and you swear you locked that window. It’s Crime Alley in Gotham City, you always lock your door and window. Jason even got you good locks for your window and your door. Someone can’t possibly be breaking in but that’s the only explanation. 

You reach to the side of the bed, slowly, careful not to make quick and harsh movements so whoever is in your home doesn’t realize you’re awake. The metal of the baseball is cold against the palm of your hand as your fingers curl around the handle. It’s not a knife or a gun, but a metal baseball can kill and incapacitate all the same. All you need is one really good swing and you’re good to go. So, you suck on a deep breath, gripping the handle as hard as you can before you sit up quickly, turning around on your knees to face the intruder.

“Get out of my apartment!” You yell, baseball bat swung over your shoulder with your arms ready to swing the second he comes close enough.

He takes a step forward into the light coming from your window and your heart drops. 

Red Hood.

Why the fuck is Red Hood, Gotham’s newest crime lord, standing in your apartment?

“Don’t freak out.” He says, the voice modulator disguising his voice.

You almost laugh at the request. He’s killing people out there and is ruthless but he doesn’t want you to freak out when he’s standing in your bedroom? That makes perfect sense. And why does it have to be your apartment? There are so many other ones he could have picked but it just had to be yours.

Jason is careful as he takes the helmet off, revealing himself to you. Your eyes grow wide as your jaw starts to fall open. Jason can see your grip on the bat start to loosen as his chest starts to swell. He always questioned your choice of a baseball bat, thinking you'd never wake up with enough time to grab it and defend yourself. He's happy he was clearly very wrong.

“You…you died…?” You question, almost certain you’re dreaming.

Bruce Wayne himself called you and told you Jason had been killed. You knew he was Robin and it was all over Gotham City News. Robin had been killed by the Joker. But, Jason Todd is currently standing in front of you, his chest moving with every breath which means he's alive.

He's desperately trying not to think about dying. That's not why he came here anyway. It wasn't to discuss the gorey details of a deranged clown with a bloody crowbar. It was just to see you and let you know he was alive. That is it. No more reminders of dying, not tonight. Not when he isn't high enough to numb the panic or pain of the thoughts. All he wants to do is see you and exist in a moment with just you and him.

“Didn’t stick.” Jason chuckles softly, holding the helmet on his hip.

There’s something Jason would describe as a chortle escapes your lips. “Didn’t stick?”

Jason shrugs his shoulder easily but there’s still some tension wrapped around his bones. “Yeah.” Jason clears his throat, looking to the floor and then back to you, thinking you probably don't believe him. Who would?

“How though?” You ask and you’re not sure how this is real.

Maybe you think you’re actually hallucinating now. Maybe grief has sucked you into insanity. But he sounds just as you remember and he looks the exact same. Jason dying and coming back as Red Hood, still fighting crime in some way, does sound like a very Jason Todd thing to do.

“Gotham.” Jason scoffs. “It’s a long story.” Jason skimps on the details, partially because he doesn’t really know how it works and also just to keep you out of it. He didn’t really like that you knew he was Robin anyway. Too dangerous.

Jason takes a step forward as you watch him closely. Maybe it’s a dream. But, it’s Gotham City and the weirdest and most unbelievable shit tends to happen here.  Jason being resurrected isn’t actually the most insane thing you’ve heard of happening. It's just one of those things that's hard to believe because losing him hurt so bad you swore you'd never recover. You want to be positive it's him before you let your hopes up even if they're rising like a steady tide. Jason can see the hesitance the way your brows are still creased and the bat still hanging over your shoulder.

“Not convinced?” He asks through a shallow breath, his own hopes falling.

He didn't really think of what he'd do if you didn't believe him.

“In my defense, this is insane.” You state as your grip tightens on the bat. "I mean, resurrection or being zombified, kind of insane."

Jason lets out a sigh as he starts listing things only he would know about you and only things you would know about him. He tells you about your first date which wasn’t anything fancy but was yours. He told you about how he has his half of a photobooth picture you two took on your third date as a bookmark. And he tells you about Alred teaching him how to make chocolate chip cookies his first week at Wayne Manor because Jason couldn’t sleep. It was too quiet in the manor.

“I also told you the bat was a shitty idea because you’d never wake up in time to grab it.” Jason offers a smirk.

“Guess you were wrong.” You point out with a teasing look.

“Yeah,” Jason scoffs. “But you didn’t take a swing so…” Jason shrugs his shoulders, a grin splitting his face.

“Haha.” You scrunch your nose with the sarcastic remark. "I'm not gonna just hit someone with a bat." You shake your head dramatically.

"I broke into your apartment?" Jason lets out a chortle "I mean, don't fucking hit me now but someone breaks in, do something, babe."

"Oh, it must really be you because only Jason Todd would criticize my weapon of choice and then criticize what I do about someone breaking in my own apartment." You quip right back as you place a hand on your hip, the bat now hanging loosely over your shoulder being held with just one hand.

Jason's smirk turns softer, a gentle smile pulling at his lips as he looks to the floor and then back to you. "Yeah, it's me." His shoulders move forward as he sucks in a breath, letting it out slowly as if the very act of breathing too hard might make all of this disappear.

Your face softens and as hard as it may be to believe, it has to be him. Everything he listed is all stuff only the two of you would know and the quick quips, Jason never missed a beat. You don't know how or even why he's alive, but it's him. So, you drop the bat to the side of your bed, quickly getting up from your bed. You don't notice how cold the floor is as you run up to Jason, colliding into him with a force study enough to make him step back just so neither of you wall.

Your arms wrap around his neck as you bury your face into his shoulder. He smells different than before but somehow the same. He smells like gunmetal with a mix of the minty shampoo he always used. But, his arms come and wrap tightly around your middle and it all feels the same. His arms are still as sturdy as always and warm. He still feels like home and you do for him, too.

His chest erupts in warmth like a dormant volcano erupting for the time in decades. Every piece of him starts to be encompassed in warmth and a sense of comfort. It's been the longest three days of his life but that doesn't really matter, not right now. It just feels safe here. Between coming back, the drug, and Crane, it's been busy and hectic and heavy. But, he's standing here with you and all he wants to do is focus on this moment because it's not so heavy or loud anymore. You always let him just exist in a way no one else ever did.

Jason's the one that pulls away first but only until you look back at him. The corner of his mouth perks up before he collides his lips with yours. The kiss nearly sucks the breath out of your lungs as your eyes close and your hands tangle in his hair. Jason's grip tightens around you as if he's afraid you'll fall away from him if he lets go.

You can feel him smile against your mouth and it's something that always sent your stomach swirling. Jason Todd genuinely happy is something irreplaceable. And he is always happy to be anywhere near you.

The kiss starts to grow sloppy and desperate, teeth clacking against each other. The happiness of being reunited starts to collide into relief and desperation to never let go again.

Jason's arms loosen just enough to go to your hips, his fingertips sliding under your shirt and digging into your flesh. He's missed the feeling of your skin against his. It's been three days but dying really has made it seem like it's been years and he doesn't want to waste the time he gets anymore. All he wants to do is be with you and you slide his jacket, then hoodie off of the armor.

"Miss me?" Jason asks against your lips and you can feel the devilish smirk that's splitting his face.

"Always." You mutter before Jason tugs your shirt over your head and tosses it to the floor.

In a heartbeat, Jason has you backing up until your knees hit the edge of your bed. The two of you fall onto the soft mattress, Jason bracing the fall for the both you and his lips never leave yours. He slides his leg onto the bed, slotting his knee between your legs right until his thigh meets your wetting slit.

You almost groan at the contact and Jason feels the tremble of your lips against his. And he fucking smirks again.

"Seems like you missed something else, too, huh?" His voice is low but easy with the teasing remark.

"Shut up." You bite back.

It's something about the way he says it that you almost want to bite him and melt under his touch at the same time. Jason has never been one to just let things flow and meet in the middle, he always had to have some sort of comment about it with the corner of his mouth perking upwards. He just can't help himself and maybe you always found it a little bit endearing, even when he's annoying.

Jason pushes his thigh against your slit again and this time he's successful in getting a quiet moan from the back of your throat. The pressure is hot and thick as your underwear start to stick to your pussy. You grind yourself on his thigh and Jason knows he has you exactly where he wants you, not that you would rather be anywhere else right now.

You help Jason tug the armor off and onto the floor, leaving his chest bare and every toned muscle on display. Your mouth practically waters before you yank him back down to you.

He keeps his leg slotted between yours as you slide your hands over the muscles of his back, feeling every raised piece of skin where his back is tensed. His skin is always warm under your fingers. You can't help but glide your fingertips along the skin before digging your nails in.

Jason arches his back, a snarl leaving his throat before his eyes lock with yours. His pupils are blown, black consuming almost every trace of green. So, you do it again as a smirk tugs at your lips because you know that'll get him going. The look he gives you turns feral and hungry as if he hasn't eaten in weeks.

His thigh is pushed harder against your slit, earning him a whimper before he takes it away entirely. There's a triumphant smile on his lips as he raises his brow.

"I can still play the game better than you, babe." Jason teases before he kisses your cheek and moves down to your neck.

"Up for debate." You quip back as his teeth graze your pulse point.

Your heart jumps and you know he can feel it. A snicker falls from his lip before he nips down and starts sucking a purple mark into your skin. A reminder that you're his.

Jason slides his leg back between yours and as if connected by a magnetic force, you don't miss a beat in grinding yourself back on him. Jason scatters just a few more marks across your chest as your breathing becomes quicker, a warm and static pit growing in the pit of your stomach.

"Could just leave now." Jason huffs as he comes back to your lips, sliding a hand between your bodies.

"Don't you dare." Your threat is weak and almost pitiful.

Jason tugs the elastic of your underwear up, exposing your pussy to some of the cool air in the room. You wiggle against him, desperate to feel more than just his thigh. But, then he snaps the elastic back, making you jerk forward and let out a displeased whimper.

"Jay." You scold, a hollowed glare on your face as his face fills with amusement. "Come on." You whine, pushing yourself against his thigh as your hands trail from his back and to the zipper of his pants.

"Since you asked nicely." Jason offers you a toothy grin before he sits up.

Jason reaches for a condom from your nightstand before tugging his pants down and sliding it on. His hands come to your thighs, pulling you to the edge where he can position himself right up to your leaking slit. He nearly licks his lips as he slides a finger through your folds.

"All for me?" Jason asks with a confidence that makes you want to burn from the inside out.

You almost tease him back but you know if you do, he might just plop down next to you and get himself off.

"I missed you." You stick out your bottom lip, offering him a pout.

A rumble comes through his chest as he moves his finger to your clit. You lose all bite and snark from your words as the rest of the room melts away. It's been the longest three days of his life and he's missed you, too.

It's more than this that he misses. You always had a way of making any place feel like home. You always got him to feel comfortable in his own skin even when his own mind was running away with damaged versions of himself. And he's missed the way you go back and forth with him. A lot of people find him obnoxious and sure, you do, too sometimes but you still go back and forth. He's missed the way you always smile at him, with something like warm and kind. It's a relief being alive again, but it's also a relief getting to see you again.

"I missed, you, too." Jason finally says and he pulls his finger away.

Jason grabs his throbbing length in his fist, pumping himself a few times before he lines himself up with your pussy. He pushes forward, slow and steady as he rests a hand beside your head, holding his weight up. You turn your head, offering his forearm a kiss and the feral look in his eyes softens.

As he bottoms out, Jason places his other hand on the other side of your head, bending down to offer a soft kiss to your lips. His chest is heaving, moving rapidly but his lips are gentle against yours.

You slide your hands into his hair and instead of tugging, you wrap your fingers around the messy strands gently, as if happy to have him near you. Jason pulls out and then pushes back in, keeping up a steady rhythm as the two of you seem to savor the moment with each other.

He showed up as Red Hood. In the back of your head, you know he'll probably leave after this. He's not injured and he didn't seem upset. It's not really late which means he probably has something to do after this. Maybe that raises a lump in your throat for a split second because he's Red Hood.

It's not that Jason Todd magically came back from the dead and he's here again. It's that Jason Todd was murdered as Robin and then came back from the dead to be Red Hood, pick up being a vigilante just a more brutal and ruthless version of one. Being a vigilante is dangerous, as was proven just this week but Jaon comes back to go right back in the game. That part is scary.

Your heart skips as you kiss him back and you'll always be worried as he goes out there. Knowing it'll happen again. But, there is a part of you that admires him for it. He gets murdered and instead of quitting, he comes back to fight harder. Maybe that's completely insane but it is admirable. And you're proud of him for it. Worried, sure, but proud of him. So, you savor the way his lips are chapped against yours and the way his thrusts start to become a little quicker and desperate.

"Missed you." Jason mutters against your lips, his voice raspy and staggered.

"I missed you, too." Your voice is caught between a whimper and a whine.

Jason slides his hand between the two of you, finding your clit. His finger is gentle against the bud as your eyes roll back. He quickens his movements, matching the speed of his thrusts. A pit grows deeper in his own stomach as he nips your lip between his teeth.

He gets a low moan from you and he nearly finishes right then and there, his hips almost stalling. But, he recovers quickly, moving his finger in the way that always got you to unravel.

Your hands move to his back, nails digging in as the pressure feeling grows, echoing into your legs and down to your feet. He's pistoning out of you, the sound of skin on skin mixing with your moans and his groans fill the room. You tug him closer to you as you wrap your legs around his waist.

"Jay." You manage to get out as your throat feels like it's closing.

The room spins and Jason is relentless, knowing you're close. You can feel yourself pulsing around his length and you think your head might explode while your heart shoots out of your chest.

"Gonna cum over my cock for me, princess?" Jason drawls, his breath hot against your lips before he moves back to your neck.

"Uh-huh." You sputter out feeling the stars start in the back of your head.

His name falls from your lips loudly and sharply as everything around you explodes into static and stars. Your toes curl as everything starts to shake and convulse against Jason's length. The squeezing of his length sends him falling right off the edge with you, biting down on your neck as the orgasm rips through his body.

Jason works you both through your highs, slowly sitting up but keeping himself inside of you once your legs fall from his waist. He gives you this smile that's a contrast between cheeky and gentle. He bends down and presses a kiss to your forehead, earning a tired but loving smile from you.

"Thanks for stopping by, Jay." Your voice is hoarse but soft.

"Can make it a habit." Jason's grin turns into a smirk, but there's a softness in his eyes.

"Uh-huh, okay, Jay." You roll your eyes, kissing him back.

masterlist | request info | tag list

Tag list: @fairyofshampoo // @jasontoddsmentaldisorders // @purplerose291 // @lovelessamai  // @makaelaseresin // @lenidaslenchen // @ghostkingblake // @dgraysonss // @im-done-with-this-im-out // @velvetskies // @vivian-555 // @kebonita // @deyja-the-duck // @jasontoddslover // @captainmarvels-blog // @totallynotkaibiased // @scarlovesyou // @whydoyoucare866 // @littlemeowmeow1000 // @septixtrash // @kplatzman

#jason todd x reader #jason todd x you #red hood x reader #red hood x you #jason todd smut #red hood smut #jason todd fanfic #jason todd fanfiction #red hood fanfic #red hood fanfiction #titans fanfic #titans fanfiction #dc fanfic #dc fanfiction

[can-i-see-your-passport-please]

Okay so here's everything I know about TF2. Please no one elaborate on anything I know about, because I think it's so much funnier if I have no context to anything. I have absorbed all of this through Tumblr osmosis

Emesis Blue is an excellent film

Soldier apparently was never an actual soldier, he just loves America and really wanted to kill Nazis (the second one i respect greatly)

Medic would probably give you a lobotomy for fun (i don't think this guy's even a doctor)

Two really old guys are fighting bloody wars over gravel I think and their father is named Grey Mann which was most definitely meant to make Gman enjoyers lose it but to be fair his name could also be Gary Man.

What am I on

Heavy and Medic are apparently gay but idk if this is a fandom seeing two men next to each other and going "gay" thing or a "all but confirmed gay" thing but TVTropes referred to them as "Heterosexual Life Partners" which is very funny

emesis blue is so fucking good oh my godddddd the respawn machine is horrifying just from the concept it turned scout into soup

Scout is half French and loves his mother (who is not french) and does not love his father (spy i think)

Medic presumably died went to hell and told the devil "oh I'm like a cat I have nine souls actually. So I should get to go back to being alive" and it fucking worked??????

THE FUCKING SCENE IN?? IN EMESIS BLUE??? WHERE. WHERE SOLDIER TELLS MEDIC "YOU'RE GONNA MAKE IT OUT" AND MEDIC SAYS "i KNOW" BEFORE HE JUST FUCKING DIES AND HE'S THE PROTAGONIST SO YOU'D EXPECT HIM TO LIVE RIGHT??? AND THEN HE JUST DIES AND DOESN'T APPEAR AGAIN FOR SO SO LONG

Pyro is an any pronouns warrior and it commits great atrocities while also having so much sillyness in his heart. I love her

I think Engineer blowed up his arm. I think

Spy is a cunt and also French. I do not think this I know this. I look at him and I sense his cuntery. It radiates off him. I can feel it.

SOMETHING ABOUT THE LETTER M BEING BRANDED ONTO MEDIC'S FACE BEING A REFERENCE TO THE MOVIE SCOUT WAS WATCHING WHERE THE LETTER M IS USED TO MARK A MURDERER. HE'S LITERALLY MARKED AS A MURDERER BY PYRO. SOMETHING ABOUT THE SCENE WITH DEMOMAN AND DELL'S BAR BEING A REFERENCE TO A SCENE IN THE SHINING WHERE THE MAIN CHARACTER IS LITERALLY TALKING TO A GHOST. SOMETHING ABOUT SCOUT'S MOTHER'S HEAD BEING HELD AROUND A CORNER AND DROPPED PARALLELING PYRO'S HEAD BEING HELD AROUND A CORNER AND DROPPED. SOMETHING ABOUT SCOUT'S "IF THEY EVER HIT YOU WITH SOMETHING, YOU HIT BACK TWICE AS HARD" WITH MEDIC SHOOTING SPY TWICE IN THE HEAD AFTER BEING SHOT ONCE IN THE GAME OF RUSSIAN ROULETTE WHY IS EMESIS BLUE SO GOOD

TF2 is in an eternal war with Overwatch for some reason

I was doing a poll a few days ago and the tags psychic blasted me with the information of "by the way people pay like fifty dollars to see medic's tiddies in game." I have gotten varying answers between ninety dollars to three hundred fucking dollars but the constant remains that people will pay Valve comically high amounts of money to see Medic's boobs. What

Scout almost got Earth exploded because he died a virgin???? But then God was like "Okay go back down to earth I'm giving them one last chance to all have sex with you" I'm so confused what does any of this mean none of this makes any sense but it's hilarious

Scout might be legitimately named after Jerma and bears a frightening resemblance to him (though to be fair scout is every white boy in one)

You should watch Emesis Blue it's free on youtube

Demoman's eye is sentient even though he doesn't have it????

I can't decide who's my favorite the white boy the unethical scientist or the silly nonbiney war criminal

Conclusion: What the fuck is team fortress the second one about

#cassie rambles #please don't tell me what it's about it's so much funnier if i am confused forever #tf2 #emesis blue

[munchmemes]

hozier lyrics, unreal unearth edition

❛  your reflection can't offer a word to the bliss of not knowing yourself. ❜

❛  no closer could i be to god or why he would do what he's done. ❜

❛  what you live in, it finds a way to live in you. ❜

❛  your heart has such darkness. ❜

❛  i wanna be gone. i wanna run so far, i'd beat the morning. ❜

❛  before the dawn has come, i'd block the sun if you want it done. ❜

❛  let all time slow. let all light go. ❜

❛  i don't need to know where we begin and end. ❜

❛  i'd still know you, not being shown you. ❜

❛  the first time that you kissed me, i drank dry the river lethe. the liffey would have been softer on my stomach all the same. ❜

❛  some part of me must have died the first time that you called me baby. ❜

❛  some part of me came alive the first time that you called me baby. ❜

❛  these days, i think, i owe my life to flowers that were left here by my mother. ain't that like them? gifting life to you again. ❜

❛  oh, to share the space with simple living things infinitely suffering but fighting off, like all creation, the absence of itself ... but anyway. ❜

❛  some part of me stayed alive each time that you called. ❜

❛  whatever keeps you around, it keeps you around. ❜

❛  when i was young i used to guess, are there limits to any emptiness? ❜

❛  how could you think i'd scare so easily? ❜

❛  my life was a storm since i was born. how could i fear any hurricane? ❜

❛  i would do it again if i could hold you for a minute. ❜

❛  what good would it be on the far side of things? ❜

❛  i would not change it each time. ❜

❛  heaven is not fit to house a love like you and i. ❜

❛  i feel lighter than i have in so much time. ❜

❛  how could i fall when i am lifted by every word you say to me? ❜

❛  if anything could fall at all, it's the world that falls away from me. ❜

❛  if you need to, lean your weight to me. ❜

❛  if we fall, i only pray, don't fall away from me. ❜

❛  i'm starving, darling. let me put my lips to something. ❜

❛  you can't buy this fineness. ❜

❛  we can celebrate the good that we've done. ❜

❛  we had nowhere to go and every desire for going there. ❜

❛  i heard once, it's the comforts that make us feel numb. ❜

❛  it was just our turn being blamed for a world we had no power in. ❜

❛  i haven't felt it since then. i don't know how the feeling ended. ❜

❛  i know being reckless and young is not how the damage gets done. ❜

❛  we knew what our love was worth when we had nothing. ❜

❛  i miss when we did not need much. ❜

❛  you were steering my heart like a wheel in your hands. ❜

❛  all i needed was someone when the whole wide world felt young. ❜

❛  hold me like water or hold me like a knife. ❜

❛  you and i burned out our steam chasing someone else's dream. ❜

❛  how can something be so much heavier but so much less than what it seems? ❜

❛  you only feel it when it's lost. getting through still has its cost. ❜

❛  if there was anyone to ever get through this life with their heart still intact, they didn't do it right. ❜

❛  we didn't get it right but we did our best. ❜

❛  knowing that everything will end should not change our plans. ❜

❛  all things end. ❜

❛  there are some things that no one teaches you that come natural as a dream you didn't know that you were in. ❜

❛  the awful things we do to make the head go quiet. ❜

❛  you may never know your fortune until the distance has been shown between what is lost forever and what can still be known. ❜

❛  i don't wanna be anything but i would do anything just to run away. ❜

❛  go look another way. ❜

❛  look, i wanna be loud. so loud, i'm talking seismic. ❜

❛  i will not be great but i'm grateful to get through. ❜

❛  the memory hurts but does me no harm. ❜

❛  the moment i knew i'd no choice but to love you. ❜

❛  there's a part of me, i'm afraid will always be trapped within an abstract from a moment of my life. ❜

❛  you know, the distance never made a difference to me. ❜

❛  so, i thought you were like an angel to me. ❜

❛  it ain't the being alone. it ain't the empty home. you know i'm good on my own. ❜

❛  so much of the living is the being unknown. ❜

❛  do you know i could break beneath the weight of the goodness i still carry for you? ❜

❛  there are some people who are better unknown. ❜

❛  darkness always finds you either way. ❜

❛  after this, i'm never gonna be the same and i am never going back again. ❜

#lyrics rp starters #rp starters #rp meme #roleplay meme #sentence starters #lyrics rp meme

[wooahaes]

on repeat

pairing: non-idol!dk x gn!reader

prompt: soulmate au series. 12/13

word count: ~7.0k

warnings: mentions of food. time loop au. some angst concerning not having a soulmate. also mentioned angst for other member (hao).

daisy’s notes: i feel like this one could have been longer but i didnt want it to get Too long compared to the other fics, yknow?

summary: What started as a day of making deliveries ended in Seokmin waking up on the same day. And then again, and then again… So, wherever you are, he needs to find you if he wants to see Saturday again.

Seokmin had been living his life on schedule ever since he turned ten. Before that, truly, because his parents had always set something for him (school, play, dinner, bath time, bedtime), but he knew that it became a little different after he turned ten. He had doctors appointments configured into that schedule, and every appointment had his dad holding his hand as the doctor tried yet again to work out what Seokmin's sign could be. Some of them would always be subtle and hard to detect, but there were plenty of things they could figure out.

And then when that list was exhausted, the afternoon doctor's appointments turned into Wednesday afternoon appointments with Dr. Jeon. She'd spoken to Seokmin for their first appointment with his mother sitting next to him, gauging how he truly felt about the fact he might not have a soulmate. He didn't tell her at first that it hurt to be different. Not with his mother next to him, rubbing soothing circles onto his back. He needed to smile for his mom, to be the bubbly boy she knew and loved.

Wednesday afternoon, Seokmin went back alone starting with that second visit. "My classmates made fun of me again for not having a soulmate."

Dr. Jeon had adjusted her bright pink glasses, and frowned at him. "How do you feel about that?"

That they're right, so it shouldn't hurt to hear the truth. "Bad." He'd curled into himself a little more, tugging his jacket closer to himself. Maybe he could disappear if he tried. "I can't help it."

Dr. Jeon's room was lit only by lamps and whatever light made it through the blinds and curtains. She hated the overhead lights (they buzzed loudly and she could never hear herself think, she said), and Seokmin never minded that they were off. The orange glow made things feel oddly safer. So did the fake sunflowers on her desk, tucked away behind her behemoth of a computer (Dr. Jeon said she could never keep them alive if they were real). As much as he wanted to disappear, he felt safe here. Dr. Jeon wasn't his mom. He didn't have to pretend for Dr. Jeon.

"I wish I had a soulmate," his voice was quieter that time. "Some of my classmates think something's wrong with me. That..."

She looked up from where she's been jotting something down. "That?" She prodded in that inquisitive way she did last time they spoke alone for a few minutes, and Seokmin knew he couldn't drop it without feeling guilty. "It's okay, Seokmin. You can take all the time you need."

He didn't meet her gaze. "They think that I'm never gonna be loved."

Dr. Jeon frowned again at his words. "Do your parents love you?"

His head shot up. "Yes! Of course they love me!"

"Do your friends?"

He nodded furiously. "And—And I love my friends. But what does that have to do with my soulmate?"

Dr. Jeon shook her head. "Love comes in many forms, Seokmin. A soulmate's love isn't guaranteed to be romantic, but even if it was, you aren't guaranteed to be with your soulmate. Love takes effort. My husband is a relationship counselor," she twisted her wedding ring around her finger, "and he sees plenty of couples who assume being soulmates is the only thing they need to make it work."

"But..." He furrowed his brow. "I thought soulmates were forever."

"They can be." Dr. Jeon paused. "You're so young, Seokmin, but you'll understand one day. A soulmate represents the possibility of that love, not the only existence of it." She chuckled. "Besides... You're too young to worry about romantic love. But for now, we can work on acceptance."

Acceptance...?

"Whether you have a soulmate or not, Seokmin," she said, the big beads of her earrings clinking together as she set aside her pad of notes, "you're still a person capable of loving others and being loved. It's hard for kids your age to separate out love like this, but you'll realize it as you grow up. There is nothing wrong with not having a soulmate."

Seokmin hadn't been able to accept her words for a while. Every day, he saw something new in the world about soulmates. A new drama based around them, or a new discount to those who can prove they're with their soulmate, or a new magazine with childish quizzes that pretend to predict your soulmate's traits. Every Wednesday, he found himself back on that plush couch and talking about something new. A new thing he's eliminated. Another classmate discovered their sign. News of an intern at his dad's work that found his soulmate (this one Seokmin wasn't supposed to hear). And every week, he left Dr. Jeon's sessions with those words said at the end:

There was nothing wrong with not having a soulmate... So why did Seokmin want one so badly?

Seokmin grew up. He started college, and he met Minghao through it. Eventually his routine changed as he began to balance work and school and a social life, all while living in a cozy little apartment with Minghao. Make breakfast, go to class, go to work, find time to shove food into his face, deal with more customers... It became a schedule he pretty much lived by with his social life a little less present. He'd get it back one day, hopefully. But he always made time for dinner with Minghao on Friday nights: their one day a week where they’ve completely slowed down together.

Minghao seemed more tired this week. "I'm tired of blue."

Seokmin looked up from his dinner. "Which blue?"

"Calm blue. Not sad. They're fine, wherever they are, and I should be glad for it, but I'm not." Minghao scowled.

Seokmin frowned as he watched Minghao. Their vision is filled with red now, he wanted to say. Are you okay with that? But he didn't, instead reaching out to ruffle his hair. "It'll be okay," he said. "At least they're calm now."

Minghao said nothing. He just sat there, staring, brows drawing together more and more.

"What?"

"It's darker."

His soulmate was upset by something. Seokmin averted his gaze. He kept his thoughts to himself. No doubt Minghao already had them himself: his frustration upset his soulmate. He couldn't help but wonder if that was the kind of person Minghao's soulmate was: someone who empathized even though they had no idea where their own soulmate's feelings were coming from. No doubt their vision would be clouded by those same blues. Minghao could be sharp-tongued and snarky at times, but he wasn't a monster. He worried for them whenever his vision was lit up with fiery reds and deep blues and nauseating green.

"I used to be angry, too, you know." Seokmin kept his focus on his own dinner now. "That I don't have one."

"You know I don't believe that." Minghao had always been one of the ones who, for some reason, believed Seokmin did have a soulmate. His sign just wasn't one of the obvious ones like his or Seungkwan's. But Minghao was reasonable about it, too: Seokmin was the kind of person who could forge his own soulmate if things felt right enough.

Seokmin waved it off. "But I understand being angry. It's something outside of your control, and it's hard to let that... be."

Humans, in Seokmin's experience, liked having control over themselves. He saw it in himself as a child, always wanting to have some choice in what he wore, in the foods he ate. He saw it now, too, in children when he went shopping and saw patient mothers holding up two options for their child to pick from. But he always saw it the most with his friends. The frustration that etched itself into Minghao's brows whenever the colors changed, the subtle annoyance before his thanks when someone pushed Seungcheol toward the right object, the way Seungkwan would flinch from pain sometime and wave off any concern. All things that stemmed from depending entirely upon another person in one way or another. And Seokmin felt it, too, in not having. A soulmate was never a guarantee to have love in your life, after all. Yet Seokmin didn't get to choose whether he would want this person at all. Would he? If he had a soulmate, would he fall for them? He had plenty of love in his heart to give... but would they even want it from him, too?

"You're right," Minghao's voice was softer now. "I think... I want to meet them someday."

Seokmin smiled. "I think you should."

“I’m scared they’ll hate me.” Minghao let out a sigh, staring down at his food for a moment. “So what if they do?”

“Then you’ll figure it out.” Seokmin reached across the table, squeezing Minghao’s hand gently. “If they’re your soulmate… Then they’ll try to understand you. You’ll do the same, right?”

Minghao met his gaze, but said nothing. Today wasn’t a day that he could agree with Seokmin, already too inside his own head. In time, he’d accept it: Seokmin knew he would. He just needed time, and Seokmin was more than happy to give him that and whatever space he needed. He could believe in Minghao’s soulmate enough for the both of them. 

And the day he met them face to face, Seokmin knew he’d been right: Minghao’s soulmate was patient in the way he needed them to be. Understanding, too, without any hidden malice toward him. Exactly what Minghao needed.

There was a text from Seungcheol in the group chat: dinner at jun's? i'm paying :)

Not everyone was able to make it, of course. It was horribly last minute, but Seokmin figured it had to be important since it was. A few people had their reasons to not be there (work, other things that needed doing). Seokmin, on the other hand, was free from his usual job. All he had was the option to make some deliveries for extra money, and he'd probably spend the day doing that to get some exercise in. He rolled out of bed, got ready for the day, and stepped out of his bedroom to see where Minghao was asleep on the couch. Seokmin paused, brows drawing together until he saw that he was clutching his phone still. Ah. He must have come back late last night and fell asleep while on the phone with his soulmate as they made their way home. Seokmin left him with a blanket draped over him before he headed out for the day. Maybe next time, Minghao would end up asleep in his own room.

He checked the app while waiting for the elevator. Sure enough, there were already delivery orders made. Groceries (he only ever accepted the small orders), food deliveries, flowers... Seokmin scrolled through for the closest pickup to start. He wouldn't mind the long ride to wherever he was delivering to, but there was a flower shop just down the street that Seokmin always loved making deliveries for. Flowers made people happy, after all. One popped up from someone named Minho for someone named Jinki ("a 'thank you' gift for my hyung"), and Seokmin accepted it without another thought. Soon enough he'd taken the elevator down and set out for the day, pedaling his way to the flower shop.

Jinki had been caught off-guard when Seokmin showed up to his workplace with a vase of sunflowers he'd protected with his life. He passed the message onto the man, and made his way out for the next delivery, bumping into an intern on his way out. He'd apologized to her quickly, and started out for another delivery. A grocery delivery for a single dad who was taking care of a sick kid, another run to a store for cat food for a man who'd run low and couldn't leave his apartment easily with a broken leg, a lunch delivery for a young woman at work... Seokmin went about his day like any other, always greeting people with a smile before moving onto the next thing. By the end of the day, he was exhausted, and immediately went to Jun's restaurant to rest.

Jun wordlessly set a cup of water in front of him. "Push these tables together after you wipe them down," he said. "Cheol will be here soon."

Seokmin had waved him off after agreeing, just enjoying a few minutes of downtime. It wasn't even his job—Where the hell was Mingyu?—but Seungcheol had insisted that it was important. He didn't mind helping out if it made things move a little smoother. He made his way to the back to grab the things he needed, and put himself back to work. The tables were wiped down thoroughly, and Seokmin pushed them together before straightening up. The next time the door chimed, Seungcheol had come in with the brightest smile on his face that Seokmin had ever seen.

"What happened?" He asked, pushing a final chair into place. "Minghao texted to say his soulmate had something come up. I'll let him know the good news tonight, okay?"

Seungcheol made his way over, shedding the light jacket he was wearing. "I should wait until the others get here, but..." He paused, and then shook his head. "No—I'll wait. It's important."

Seokmin stood still for a moment, mind already thrumming with possibilities. "It is good news... Right?"

He nodded. "It's..." His gaze softened a little as his smile fell a little. His happiness was still warm and welcoming, but now felt akin to the tenderness of a warm embrace than the crackling fire it had been before. "It's really good news, Seokmin."

The possibilities dwindled by tens and hundreds. No bad news... Which meant this had to be big. A promotion, or maybe he finally heard back from the graduate program he was trying to get into? Seokmin drummed his fingers along the chair he'd been clutching, before tearing him away from it. People began to file in over the next twenty minutes: Jeonghan and Joshua arriving together, Mingyu bursting into the room loudly (yes, Jun, he saw the restaurant was empty—and yes, he enjoyed resting after work) with Soonyoung coming in just a few minutes later, and eventually Vernon and Chan had joined the table while bemoaning a late bus. Mingyu helped Jun serve food as they caught up on life.

“Seungcheol,” Jeonghan called out from the other end of the table, a knowing look on his face. “You wanted to tell them something.”

Seungcheol fought back a smile. “I found them.” 

Immediately, the room went silent. Vernon was staring at him with wide-eyes, mouth agape. Jeonghan was just smiling, clearly having been informed ahead of time—and the same could be said of Joshua, who had this shit-eating grin on his face.

“Well?” Seungcheol pouted. “You aren’t going to say anything?”

“That’s great!” Seokmin decided to say quickly, and he saw the way Seungcheol then smiled. “Do you want us to keep it a secret, or can I tell Minghao?”

“You can tell him,” Seungcheol waved him off. “I just wanted to tell the rest of you. I told Seungkwan—” He then paused, “Speaking of—All of you are terrible!” He scowled a little. “I told him first and he immediately started sending me pictures of myself in ugly outfits you all swore went together!”

Jeonghan snorted, typing something out on his phone. “We didn’t do it all the time, you know.”

Seokmin chuckled, glancing over to where Jun had settled in the chair next to him. “Remember the shirt he wore to this place’s opening?”

Seungcheol let out another whine. “I didn’t know it was neon! Joshua said it wasn’t that bad!”

“It wasn’t!” 

If looks could kill, Joshua would be ash. But Seungcheol had started bickering with him about it (apparently that shirt had been a gift from Joshua… on April fools…), and Seokmin took his chance to steal another dumpling. His phone buzzed, and he glanced down at it to see it was the app he delivered for—there was someone for a restaurant not that far away. He dismissed it. He could use the money, sure, but… He’d stay at least a little longer. Just to see Seungcheol happy.

Fed up with his debate with Joshua (an immovable object against Seungcheol’s unstoppable force), Seungcheol let the topic go for now. “We’re going out on Tuesday, actually,” he said. “I think you guys will like them. We ended up shopping together for a while and talking—they’re really nice, and…”

Seokmin let his mind drift for a moment as he listened, his own heart sinking in his chest. Everyone seemed to be finding their soulmate over this past year. He looked at Jun for a moment. That meant he was the only one who hadn’t found his soulmate yet, right? He couldn’t imagine being the last person, but Jun seemed to be taking it well. Soonyoung, just as Seokmin did, went out on the occasional date—hell, both of them had dated a bit recently before deciding to prioritize other things for a bit. But it was weird knowing that he was going to be on his own now. Even Vernon and Jihoon ended up having soulmates. Seokmin had wanted to hold out hope that maybe that meant he had one, too, but…

The door opened, and in walked someone who looked at the group with wide-eyes. “Sorry—I thought this was still open—”

“It is!” Jun said, getting up and making his way toward the counter. “Sorry, how can I help you?”

The customer had started rambling about their friend, Minho, having been here a few days ago. Seokmin listened as they explained their own soulmate sign—the same as Jun’s—and he felt his feelings swirl inside of him. The computer chirped, and Seokmin moved to see that it was a takeout request. With permission from Jun, Seokmin accepted it and immediately went to snag the delivery request himself. He’d be back before the hour was over, and it’d give him some time to clear his mind. The customer had gone to an empty table, and Jun disappeared into the back to start cooking both their food and the order that Seokmin left hanging on the line.

“Hey.” Vernon had made his way over to the counter, voice lower, “Everything okay?”

Seokmin nodded, quietly sliding a fortune cookie across the counter. “I’m going to make a delivery,” he said. “Just to get some air.”

Vernon slowly nodded, immediately getting it. He’d stepped out when his own struggles were getting to him before he found his own soulmate, after all. “Gotcha. Is it a good tip?”

Seokmin glanced at the screen. Not really, but he didn’t mind: it was a small order and he wasn’t going far. It was better than no tip, at least. “Yeah,” he lied. “I could use the extra money.”

Vernon knew he was lying. But he nodded again, tucking the cookie into his hoodie pocket. “Travel safe, dude.”

All too quickly, Jun had plated the food. Mingyu had dipped into the back, delivering the dishes to the customer that sat alone, and Jun sat next to Seokmin. He’d uncapped a sharpie with his teeth, drawing a little cat onto the corner of the plate alongside a flower. Above it, he’d written some message of encouragement—all a part of the order’s request. 

“Someone else could pick up the order,” Jun capped the marker again. “If you don’t want to go.” 

Seokmin shrugged it off. “It isn’t far.” He paused, “Plus my bike is outside. I’ll be back soon, okay?”

Jun hadn’t responded, brows drawing together. He looked over to the customer in the room, watching as they ate for a moment.

“Jun?”

He took a step away, realization spreading over his features. “Sorry, I just—” He walked away, quietly greeting the customer. Seokmin watched as he rounded the other chair, hands curling around the top of it as he said something… and soon Seokmin knew. 

So he packed away the meal, tying the bag, and confirmed that the order was on its way. He’d congratulate Jun later on finding his soulmate. But now, he just needed to get out before the heat and smell of spice suffocated him. He grabbed his bike, unlocked it, and took off toward the towering building not that far into the city. It was all too easy to get into the building and get pointed toward the right floor. Normally, he’d leave it here, but he decided to waste a few minutes heading upstairs.

A young man had greeted him, breaking away from where his coworkers were gathered around pizza. One of them had already heckled him for being the one person to order something out, but it all seemed to be in good faith. The guy—Soobin, according to the app—had thanked him, quickly enough. Someone bumped into Seokmin as he was waiting for Soobin to hand him a cash tip (something he’d insisted upon), and Seokmin felt his heart leap. Maybe he’d text Jun and apologize and head home instead. Things were… off. 

Jun didn’t hold it against him when he did. All he did was wish him a good night, and Seokmin was thankful for it. 

There was a text from Seungcheol in the group chat: dinner at jun's? i'm paying :)

Which was odd. Seungcheol had already treated them out last night, so why invite them out again? What was he going to announce—a marriage proposal? Seokmin was still half asleep as he pushed himself out of bed. He'd agree to be there after he ate breakfast. He skipped it yesterday and soon regretted it. Yet the moment he stepped out of his bedroom, he saw Minghao asleep on the couch again. He sighed, rubbing his eyes as he made his way over.

"Minghao, your bed is more comfortable," he nudged him awake. "Two nights in a row? Really?"

Minghao had furrowed his brow upon waking up, staring up at him. "Two...? What are you talking about?"

Seokmin walked away, stretching as he went. "Didn't you fall asleep here the other night?"

With a confused look, he shook his head, running a hand through his hair. He stretched before reaching for his phone, looking down to see the new message on it. "What does Cheol want...? It's short notice and he knows it."

Seokmin looked up, already growing more confused. "He found his soulmate. Don't you remember? I told you when I got back last night."

"You were asleep when I got in." Minghao frowned at him. "When did he tell you?"

"Last night when we..." He trailed off, looking at his phone more clearly now. It was Friday, but yesterday had been Friday. He knew it, because he'd lived it. "We had dinner with a couple of the others, and..."

Minghao folded his jacket over his arms, and it was now that Seokmin realized this had been what he'd seen Minghao wearing on Thursday night. "You must be psychic or something," he made his way toward his room. "Don't ruin the surprise. Cheol will never let you hear the end of it if you do."

Yesterday was Friday. Seokmin knew that yesterday was Friday. So why the hell was it Friday again? Maybe he'd dreamed the entire thing. Was that a sign? He'd look into it later. Food and work would come first. He'd start looking into it when he showed up to Jun's restaurant tonight.

Sure enough, every single order he'd filled yesterday was right there today. Seokmin accepted those, too: maybe his dream meant something.

Sure enough, the night played out the same. Seungcheol announced having a soulmate. The others teased him over the past outfits he’d worn. Joshua poked fun at a neon shirt. Jun’s soulmate came into the restaurant. And Seokmin accepted that same takeout order. This time he had almost avoided the person coming in, and he’d given them a strange look when they turned back to acknowledge him this time. Again, they apologized to him after a moment before going on, checking their phone.

And then he went to sleep, and, again, it was Friday.

Around the fifth Friday he lived through, Seokmin realized a few things. He’d already figured out that he both met his soulmate and missed them (he Googled a lot that third Friday), and that he just needed to find them to break the loop. Every single day, he tried to fill the same delivery orders. He tried to go to the same places at the same time. He met the same people most of the time—he’d already missed that final order twice now, snatched up by someone else while he was trying to figure out what was wrong. 

But that was… beyond several Fridays ago. This was Friday number fifteen, and he’d managed to exact a few things. Minghao had given him something to say to prove that, yes, Seokmin was trapped in a time loop (details of his date the night before, followed by a quick enough explanation that Minghao knew wasn’t bullshit by the panic in his voice), and it’d given him an ally in every repeat day. He’d slipped up and spoiled Seungcheol’s surprise during one of the loops and given up on finding his soulmate that time. It didn’t feel fair to potentially let that be the day. 

Minghao filled a cup with ice and water. “You’re not trying to make the day perfect though, right? Because you’re going to just prolong it if you do.”

“I’m not.” Seokmin had stretched out across their couch, arms resting over his stomach. He didn’t have to leave for another few minutes. “I just didn’t want to find them after I ruined Seungcheol’s surprise.”

“He doesn’t remember now, though,” he shrugged. “Try to find them soon, though. You seem tired.”

“I am.” 

Minghao came over to him, extending the glass to him. “Then get out there and keep looking.”

“I have to stick to the schedule, though,” Seokmin accepted the glass as he sat up. “Otherwise I’ll keep missing them.” 

“Remember what we all said?” Minghao crossed his arms. “You’ll know them when you see them.”

Seokmin moved over, giving Minghao space to sit next to him. “I don’t know what that means.”

“When I saw my soulmate, I…” He pressed his lips together, looking toward the windows for a moment. “I felt like I was at peace.” Again, he paused, thinking over his words. “Like… I was ready to try to love them. To learn more about them and see why they were my soulmate.” 

That night, Seokmin posed the question of how they all knew while sitting at dinner with the others. He mouthed an apology to Soonyoung for asking a question neither of them (to his knowledge) would ever understand, but he didn’t seem all too bothered by it. The group had gone quiet, all thinking about their individual answers. And as Seokmin expected, Seungcheol had his the soonest.

“I didn’t feel anything special until I caught them,” he admitted, looking at Seokmin. “But when I did… It felt like everything was right. Like… Everything had been leading to that moment. I was where I needed to be, I think. As much as I wanted to meet them sooner, I think we found each other at the right time.”

Jeonghan nodded along to it, a soft hum sounding from him as he agreed with every sentence. “Right. I know I’m different because I’ve always known mine, but… I felt like I’d found the missing piece in my life. I know that’s sappy to say,” he laughed softly, “but it’s true. I’ve loved them this long, you know?”

Vernon had pressed his lips together. And a moment later, he nodded, too. “Right. I’d liked them for a while, but I think realizing that our sign had been right there the entire time… It all just made sense—”

“You literally made out with them immediately, don’t act all sentimental,” Chan rolled his eyes. “But… I felt this pull when I met them. Their friend had caught me, but it still felt like something was pulling me toward them.”

“Right, right…” Mingyu nodded along to that. “It felt like things were right in this way I can’t describe.”

Joshua hummed to himself, the sole person without an answer yet. He raked his fingers through his hair before meeting Seokmin’s gaze. “Maybe I’m just weird, but I didn’t really have anything like that. Like… I knew I was about to meet them since we’d agreed to meet up at a coffee shop, but the most I felt was this comfortable warmth. Like, we’d grown up sharing this experience together. It just felt like I met someone who understood me in some way.”

Seokmin noted down everything in his mind. A feeling of things being right, or a pull toward someone, or even that he’d found something he’d always been missing (although maybe without realizing it, if it were to apply to him). 

Yet he went to bed that night, woke up to another Friday, and wondered if he had broken something along the way.

Online forums helped plenty. He made and remade an account and the same post since around Friday number eight, always getting the same people chiming in and believing in him. You’ll find them soon! He’d always say how many Fridays he’d repeated, and yet there was always the same encouragement. Today was Friday number seventeen. Every single day, Seokmin woke up to the same situation. A new account, a new post. Seungcheol’s text. The same deliveries, the same thanks. The same breaks for lunch, including texting Mingyu about meeting up for coffee sometime (he hadn’t made it yet, but he was determined to). The people on the forums had told him the same thing his friends did: he would know his soulmate when he saw them.

So why was he so antsy today?

He’d shown up to Jun’s restaurant at the same time, wiping down the tables in record speed before relaxing with his cup of ice water. He listened to the clamor of pans in the back as Jun cooked for another table, eyes fluttering shut as he sighed. Friday number seventeen, and he wasn’t getting any closer, was he? Over two weeks and he’d found little ways to break up the monotony when he could. No one he delivered to was his soulmate. No one in that Jinki guy’s office had faced a repeat day (he’d done the stupid thing and stood up during day twelve and asked out loud, and he was thankful no one would remember it by midnight). No one in any of the stores he went to, either (again, day fourteen he did the same as he did with Jinki’s work). And he’d delivered to Soobin faster than ever before, only to receive no answer when he asked yesterday. 

So where was his soulmate?

Seungcheol arrived soon enough, smiling as brightly as ever. The others filed in over time, too. Jeonghan and Joshua arrived together once more, always talking about some movie they were still debating about the real meaning of. Mingyu made a big deal stretching and bragging about his short break at home with his soulmate—he’d bring the back takeout afterward. Soonyoung burst into the restaurant soon enough, always talking about how he was tired of his office being short on staff. Then Vernon and Chan, bemoaning their late bus as always, joined the table soon enough. Seokmin had known the following conversation by heart: Seungcheol announcing that he found his soulmate, followed by him pouting when no one immediately said anything. Seokmin always found himself being the first to congratulate him, saying he’d pass word along to Minghao if he wanted. Seungkwan sent Seungcheol all of the ugly outfits they’d lovingly tricked him into wearing over the years (never for serious events—always for a stupid get-together with the full group). The neon shirt. Jun’s soulmate would be there soon. They always came in at the exact same time…

Jun reached out, fingers brushing against Seokmin’s bicep and tearing his eyes away from his watch. “Are you okay?” His voice was soft enough to not alert the others, and Seokmin barely paid him any mind at first.

“Just waiting for something.” He paused, then realized that he was the only person present who knew of his situation. He looked up, shaking his head as he turned to Jun. “Sorry! Sorry, I’m fine. Just…” He glanced at the door for a moment. Any moment now. “Waiting.”

Seungcheol spoke up again about his soulmate, and Seokmin was thankful for the change in topic. He’d explain it all in due time. Hopefully today would give him another do-over and he wouldn’t worry Jun. Soon enough, the door jingled, and Seokmin rose up out of his chair. Jun’s soulmate was here, which meant the order from Soobin would be coming in soon. He’d made his way over to the computer, tapping at the edge of it as he waited impatiently. Soon. Soon. Jun had stood up, excusing himself from the group to unknowingly speak to his soulmate.

“Sorry,” Jun’s soulmate had said to him, and he slid them a menu without much thought. “My friend, Minho, came here with a couple of friends…”

Seconds passed with each tap of Seokmin’s finger. Soobin’s order. Always steamed pork buns and fried rice and some sort of beef or pork (the only thing that might change—the tiniest change that didn’t affect anything). He pressed his lips tighter together. Tomorrow, he’d start from the top. He’d ask everyone. He’d tell everyone that he was stuck in a time loop. Minghao would help him convince them all. If they knew that Seokmin was looking for his soulmate, they would help. 

The computer chimed. Seokmin tapped the order, reading over it. Steamed pork buns. Fried rice. Beef. And…

And more?

He hesitated to accept it, glancing over to Jun and his soulmate.  “Jun. There’s a request for takeout.” He paused for just a second, “I’m gonna confirm it, alright?”

Jun waved him on, and Seokmin felt his heart hammering in his chest as the ticket printed out. He made his way to the kitchen, clipping it to the line for Jun to refer to. This had to be a sign. You were there. You had to be there, right? No one ever changed their order like this. His brows knit together. Had he done something to set off some sort of butterfly effect? Was he just giving himself false hope now? He wanted out of this loop, soulmate or no soulmate. He’d lived this Friday seventeen times now, and all he wanted was to wake up on Saturday morning and go get coffee with Mingyu because Mingyu was offering. Mingyu would pay for a slice of cake or whatever dessert he wanted, too. And at this point, Seokmin had earned the same thing.

“Is everything okay?” Jun had approached him, keeping his voice low—again, mindful of what little privacy they had with so many of their friends present. “You seem… different.”

He shook his head. No need to worry him yet. “The ticket’s on the line,” he couldn’t stop staring at the screen now. An extra order. For what? For who? Jun hadn’t budged. Seokmin decided to lie: “Just… thought I recognized the name.”

Thankfully, Jun shrugged it off. Mingyu had made his way to the kitchens to help, and Seokmin held himself together. He would not get his hopes up. Not too high. This could be it, or it could be some sort of butterfly effect. He took a different way to the store earlier, after all. Wasn’t that what the whole thing was based around? Small actions having bigger impacts? Wonwoo would know. He was smart, he’d probably read about it. Maybe he’d ask Wonwoo about it on Friday number eighteen, if he woke up on Friday again. 

The food was made and plated before Seokmin knew, and he watched as Jun uncapped a sharpie with his teeth. He’d drawn a little cat onto the corner of one of the lids—the unfamiliar order, Seokmin realized—and then drew a little flower next to it. He’d always done it for Soobin’s order. Would that change things, too…?

“Someone else could pick up the order,” Jun said as he re-capped the marker. “If you don’t want to go.”

“No!” Seokmin paused. When did he get so desperate? He waved a hand, trying to act casual again. “I mean—The money is good, and my bike is outside.” Please don’t push. “I’ll try to be back to help clean up.” But if this is it, I won’t. I can’t. Please understand. Seokmin tied the bag tight after throwing in a few sets of utensils and more than enough fortune cookies. He picked up the bag, stopping to turn back to Jun. 

His soulmate was right there, and Jun hadn’t realized it yet. Maybe…

“Jun?”

Jun looked up from where he’d begun to tidy up behind the counter, that same earnest look on his face. Seokmin always wondered what he looked like when he realized that person was his soulmate. Even when he missed being able to deliver Soobin’s order, he tried to go out, to retrace his steps and hopefully run into his soulmate. Then again… Would telling him throw things off even further? Or would Jun even want for him to tell him? 

Seokmin opened his mouth, then closed it a moment later. He turned, looking at Jun’s soulmate. They were sitting alone, about to break into their meal. Jun would know soon enough. And… if it were him, Seokmin wouldn’t want to have the moment given to him like this. He turned back to Jun one last time. “Actually… Don’t worry about it. I’ll be back later.”

He could see the concern on Jun’s face, clear as day. No doubt he would be calling him come morning. Seokmin made his way out of the restaurant, waving to the others and saying he’d try to be back as soon as he could. Soon enough, he’d unlocked the bike lock and tucked it into his bag, strapping on his helmet. He’d biked this path so many times he knew it by heart, no need to keep track of his location through his phone’s map. He left his bike near the doors in the lobby, the way he always did when the secretary let him into the building. The elevator ride felt shorter than normal, and Seokmin found himself hesitating. He could hear Soobin and his coworkers talking in the other room. 

He shut his eyes, took a deep breath, and made his way forward. Soobin lit up when he saw him. Again, he was heckled by another coworker for ordering something else, and Soobin waved them off.

“I’m not the only one,” he’d said this time. “They’re—” He paused, looking around, only to roll his eyes. “They’re in the bathroom still—”

“I’m here!”

Your shoulder bumped against Seokmin as you rushed in, and Seokmin felt his heart leap. It was you. You’d bumped into him that first day while Soobin was giving him the cash tip he’d insisted on. And now you were pulling out your own wallet, insisting on covering a cash tip since Soobin hadn’t tipped enough on the app. You’d been rambling about how today you felt like something other than pizza, and…

“It’s you.” 

You looked up, blinking as you stared at Seokmin. “Me…?” And then it clicked, those pretty eyes lighting up with realization. “You—” You had gasped, eyes already growing teary. “You’re—”

Seokmin could kiss you now, relief flooding every single cell in his body. He’d dropped the bag onto Soobin’s desk, ignoring the way the guy dove to make sure nothing spilled, and stepped forward. You had immediately wrapped your arms around him, squeezing him tight. Something felt right about it all, like his life had come together in a way he never knew it could have. The rest of your coworkers had gone quiet, and Seokmin had let himself cry a little. 

“I’ve been looking for you,” he said, voice wavering. He held you tighter, “I—I almost thought I wouldn’t find you.”

You said nothing and just let yourself cry out of relief. 

When you finally pulled away, it was to tell your coworkers that you needed to leave soon. You knew just as well as he did that the two of you needed to be together when midnight struck, and you weren’t going to work through the entire night. Not with Seokmin right there with you. It seemed to renew the energy in your team as all of you got to work. You pulled a chair over for Seokmin to sit near you while he waited, and he took the chance to text a few things out:

To Minghao: I’ll see you saturday

To Jun: I’ll explain tomorrow :) don’t worry about me. I’m okay now.

And to Seungcheol: I found them. 

You had paused for a moment, looking at Seokmin curiously. After a moment, you caught yourself staring, and grew flustered. “Sorry. Just… What do you want to do? We've got some time to kill until midnight, so...”

Seokmin had been living his life adhering to routine. From childhood to adulthood to the past seventeen Fridays, everything had a time and place for him to be. So he just smiled at you, rolling his chair a little closer to you: “Whatever you want to do.” He paused, deciding to go all in on being cheesy. “Let’s follow our hearts this time, okay?”

And you, who had found routine over and over in your own life, smiled and made living on repeat worth it with that smile.

taglist: @twancingyunhao @wonuziex @synthetickitsune @staranghae @porridgesblog @weird-bookworm @bangchansbae @laylasbunbunny @bewoyewo

#wooahaes.fic #seventeen imagine #seventeen x reader #seventeen x you #svt x reader #svt imagine #svt x you #seventeen fluff #seokmin fluff #dk fluff #dokyeom fluff #dk x reader #seokmin x reader #dokyeom x reader #happy april fools! (posts a real fic completely seriously)

[multific]

My Darling Dark

Astarion x Vampire!Reader

Warnings: Torture, blood, sad themes (with happy end)

Summary: Being born as a vampire was completely different from becoming one. You, a born trueblood vampire, fall in love with a man your father kept torturing.

When you first saw him, he was only an elf. Your father took him in with the false promise and hope of a new life. 

A better life.

But your father was a liar.

Soon, the charming man you knew was turned into a tool. A tool to gather more and more men and women.

Much like you, his life was never truly his.

Astarion Ancunin. 

You heard his name the day after the poem was scratched into his back.

A poem so cruel.

Then you heard the news that he tried to run.

He tried and failed.

He was thrown into a cell, the darkest chamber in the entire dungeon.

This is when you first spoke with him.

"We are not so different," you said as you knelt in front of him. Your heart broke seeing him like this. 

He laughed.

"Not so different? I don't see you chained to a wall! Tortured and starved."

"You might not see it, but I do have chains." your tone was even, calm.

"You are Cazador's little daughter. I highly doubt you have any chains. If anything he sent you to further torture me." his eyes were filled with anger.

"I'm simply a product of his cruelty. My mother died giving birth to me, and he took me. I'm simply one of his... poems if you will. Another proof of his cruelty." the story of your birth... filled with blood, screams and death. You doubt your mother died the way Cazarod claimed.

"Is that why you are walking around in fancy dresses? Dripped in gold and jewels?" 

"It is but the surface. He keeps me locked away at night, bound by a curse so I wouldn't leave. So that I can't leave. You must be mistaken, he doesn't love me nor does he care for me. I'm what you might call his backup plan in case he was attacked. I'm nothing but a walking immunity potion to him." 

This is when he noticed, his eyes held anger, while yours held nothing but pain.

"Why are you here?" he asked, not much calmer.

"I came in hopes of freedom, in hopes of escape from this Hell. You are the only one who dared defy him and yet you are still alive."

"What do you want from me?"

"I want you to kill me when the time comes. Promise me, Astarion, please. Please you must kill me and then kill him."

"How could I kill you?"

"A knife to the heart." your answer was simple, yet you failed to realise he didn't ask for the how, no, he rather refused to kill something so beautiful and kind.

The exact opposite of Cazador. 

He didn't promise, he didn't swear. But he did make a promise that night, if he was to ever escape, he would take you with him.

---

You tried to visit him often, behind your father's back you two met and talked.

Astarion was an interesting man.

You tried to visit him as often as you could.

Your father didn't exactly keep a close eye on you when he knew you couldn't leave his palace.

And he truly didn't care what you were doing.

"Today, I brought you a gift." you said as you pulled out a vile from under your dress. 

The glass, filled with blood, immediately caught his attention.

"Thank you, Darling." he said, eyes glued to the liquid.

You spend countless days trying to figure out if his kindness was simply to charm you into bringing him food and keeping him company.

You would have thought he was kind because he liked you.

But you were often reminded of the opposite every moment your father mentioned him.

Yet your heart was not easy to discourage.  

You have grown to love him during the months of conversations and stolen moments.

It finally gave you a purpose.

Something you truly didn't have before.

---

The day Astarion escaped was the day the light went out in your life. 

"You thought he loved you?" Cazador asked as he laughed at you. His dark laughter bounced off the stone walls. "Child, he is but a charmer, a tool, and a coward." you wanted to argue, you wanted to yell and scream, but instead you just turned, walked away and locked yourself into your room.

You blamed yourself.

You were a fool.

You believed his smiles and gentle touches.

You cursed yourself for it.

Yet, you still loved him. You hoped he was safe and happy.

---

Years have passed. 

A decade even and yet, you never stopped hoping he would return for you.

A fruitless dream it was.

Yet it was the only last remaining light in your otherwise dark life.

Locked away in the dark for years. Astarion is your only hope for escape, whether it is death or not.

It was when Cazador found you in the bath, bathing in blood when he smiled.

"With each passing day, you become more and more like me." he said.

And you couldn't doubt it.

You craved blood like never before, it got to a point where your father had locked you into your room because you were killing too many of his slaves.

But soon, he let you out, not even for a full day did he lock you away.

He got you new gowns, dark ones.

"For my daughter." he said. He never said that before, he called you Child, but he never looked this happy when saying it. 

Dark gowns, more and more blood.

A decade of blood had turned you into something you never wanted to be.

And yet, there you were, his daughter.

Even if you looked nothing like him.

You could recall the day you changed. The day you realized Astarion was not coming for you. The day you realized he just used you and escaped.

Was the day people started to call you the Scarlet Lady.

The brutal vampire who loved to bathe in blood and watch people suffer.

Yet, none of them knew the truth. No one knew your pain and suffering.

---

The day he came back, you could smell the blood. You heard the cries of death and then, his own cries.

Relief, freedom.

And yet, he found you locked in your room.

"My Darling Dark, what has happened to you?" you turned to the man, your face held no emotion, and yet your heart was just about ready to burst out of your chest.

"Astarion." you looked into his eyes. "Why are you here?"

You knew exactly why, he came to kill your father... possibly even you.

"I came to fulfil my promise to you, My Love."

"You do not have to fool me with your sweet words anymore. You killed my father already."

"I'm not fooling you, Darling. I came to kill him and set you free."

"You left me here. You left me to rot here alone."

"Darling, please." he sounded desperate. "I came to save you."

"I don't know if there is anything to save."

"Don't speak nonsense! You know exactly how afraid I was of Kazador. You know exactly the things he was capable of."

"I know! It is why it pains me that you left me with him!" now you raised your voice, tears began to run down your face. "I know exactly what he is capable of! He punished me for your escape! He threw me into a chamber and left me there for two whole years! He drained my blood and fed it to the spawn... And then, when he got me out of that hole, he said, 'I hope it was worth it.'" 

"I'm so sorry. I am a coward, I ran and I was too afraid to return to save you. Then I heard the news of you, people fear you, bathing in blood, murdering many."

"I was hungry." 

"I know how that feels, My Darling. I'm so sorry."

"I missed you." he took a step closer to you, as if he was testing the water to see if you would flee or not. 

You didn't. You didn't run away, instead, you moved towards him and hugged him as he hugged you back.

"I am so sorry for leaving you, but I was so scared."

"I understand although it will take some time for me to forgive you."

"Will you come with me?"

"Yes." you pulled back and looked into his eyes.

"And for now, that is more than enough for me." he placed a kiss on your forehead before he grabbed your hand and walked out of the palace with you, leaving behind all the bad memories, blood and pain.

From now on, it was only you and Astarion.

Taglist: @castellandiangelo @imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl @manduse @jacalineiscomingforyou  @mandoloriancookie @il0vebeingdelulu @deliciousfestsalad @groovyqueer @lilliumrorum

~Masterlist~

ˇAO3ˇ

/YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO TRANSLATE OR REUPLOAD ANY OF MY WORKS TO THIS OR OTHER PLATFORMS/

#x reader #fanfiction #x female reader #astarion x reader #astarion x you #astarion imagine #astarion imagines #astarion x oc #astarion ancunin #astarion bg3 #astarion romance #baldurs gate 3 #baldurs gate #bg3 fanfic #baldurs gate x reader #baldurs gate imagine #baldurs gate imagines #astarion ancunin x reader #astarion ancunin imagine #astarion ancunin imagines #astarion ancunin x you #astarion ancunin x vampire reader #astarion ancunin fanfiction #astarion ancunin fluff #bladur's gate 3 #baldur's gate fanfic #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate astarion #baldur's gate iii #bg3 romance

[javierpena-inatacvest]

Chapter 10, Pt. 2- Happy Birthday, Javi

Summary: Javi is convinced that after the perfect morning you've given him, his birthday can't get any better. Little does he know, his birthday still has a few more surprises left.

Word Count: 11.7K (Told you it'd be 20K if i put these two parts together)

Warnings: SMUT (18+), unprotected p in v sex (pls be safe), semi-public sex (and kind of getting caught?), vaginal fingering, creampie, praise kink, breeding kink (are we surprised, cause I'm sure not), mentions of death/loss (but it's really sweet), mentions of alcohol and drinking, mentions of food, Steve Murphy not letting Javi have a moment of peace, Javi holding a baby (please don't mind as I scream into the abyss), if you've made it this far, you already know the sickening amount of fluff there's gonna be (hehehehe)

A/N: Our favorite birthday boy is back!!! I'm excited for this one cause it's CUTE. But when are these two idiots not like, the most adorable couple alive. Enjoy the rest of our sweet Javi's birthday!! Also please someone understand my self indulgent Foo Fighters/Blink-182 references

Series Masterlist Next Chapter Previous Chapter

“So you’re telling me I don’t get to know anything about the rest of the day? Coming from the person who hates surprises more than anyone I know?” Javi chuckled to himself, wrapping his towel around his waist as he stepped out of the shower, handing you yours as you followed behind him. 

“Okay, just because I hate being on the receiving end of a surprise doesn’t mean I don’t like to be a part of planning a surprise. So no, you don’t get to know. Although, I will say what happened this morning and the way you just pressed me against the wall and fucked me in the shower are two surprises I’m not upset about at all.” You smirked at Javi as you watched him run a towel over the damp curls of his hair, seeing his satisfied grin from underneath the fabric. “Now go get ready, birthday boy, you’ve got a big day ahead of you.” Javi pressed a gentle kiss onto your bare shoulder as you organized your things on the bathroom counter, rolling your eyes as you watched him look you up and down in the mirror. 

“If we didn’t have places to be, I’d bend you over this counter and fuck you right here.” The kiss on your shoulder being replaced by a nip, making you giggle and swat at his broad body standing behind you. 

“Javier Peña, you are a goddamn menace to society, go change!” The two of you laughed as Javi gave you a wink and a quick smack on the ass as he left you in the bathroom to start getting ready. 

A menace to society in-fucking-deed. 

You made sure to get ready as quickly as you could, wanting to make sure that you stayed on time for the rest of Javi’s birthday festivities. You had plenty planned to keep him busy until 4:00, the time you told Chucho you’d arrive at the ranch, giving your guests an hour to show up beforehand without ruining the surprise. After changing into a new, cute peachy dress with little white flowers, you met Javi in the living room, sitting on the couch watching TV, looking handsome as ever in the dark wash jeans and cream colored short sleeved button down. 

“The watch looks good with your outfit.” You teased, noticing that Javi was already wearing one of his birthday gifts that he had insisted on giving you a hard time about after finding out about its cost. 

“I love it, Osita. I’ll wear it every fucking day. And it actually tells time, which is helpful.” He laughed before turning his head around over the top of the couch to see you in your dress, jaw going slack as he watched you move about the kitchen, gathering things for the next part of your day. “Fuck me. Is that new?” he asked, taking an extra moment to appreciate how well the peach colored fabric hugged your body in all the right places, particularly as you bent down to pick something up out of the fridge. 

“Mmmhhmmm.” You hummed, trying your best to hide the pozole de pollo you had made for Javi the day before in your travel sized cooler. “Same shopping trip as this morning’s outfit.” You looked up at Javi, giggling, as he ran a hand through his hair, knowing he was using every ounce of self control in his body to let you keep working on whatever you were doing. “Alright, I think everything is packed and should be good to go. You ready, roomie?” You smiled, grabbing the bag you had packed in preparation for the next part of your birthday plans. That one made Javi grin from ear to ear, still processing the fact that you had asked him to move in with you. He had practically already been living there, but something about knowing you wanted him to be the first thing you saw in the morning, and the last thing you saw before you fell asleep at night every damn day filled his heart in a way he didn’t know was possible. 

“Ready. Sure I don’t get to know where we’re going?” He chuckled to himself as he got up, putting on his shoes and grabbing his keys, including the newest one to your shared apartment that he had already slipped onto the key ring while you were getting ready. 

“You’re starting to sound like me. C’mon, let’s go.” 

Walking down the stairs of your apartment, you grabbed Javi’s hand, knowing that he was going to lead you to his truck. Before he could lead you any further across the parking lot, you tugged him in the opposite direction, leading you towards your car. “Nope, I’m driving today. How were you supposed to drive if you didn’t know where we were going?” 

“You could still drive my truck, if you wanted. You’re always complaining about how shitty your car is.” 

He wasn’t wrong. After getting stationed in Oregon after his deployment, your oldest brother, Charlie, had offered to let you have his 1985 Jeep Wrangler. In reality, the car was only a decade-ish old, but the way he had treated it before he gave it to you had it barely hanging on by a thread. After your drive to Texas, Woodstock (the name you had given the car, given its obnoxious bright yellow color) was in rough shape, but, like most things in life, you were too stubborn to give it up and get a new one until you ran it into the ground. 

“Every ounce of feminism in my body evaporates if I even think about driving that truck. It’s huge, and I’m terrified I’m gonna crash into something, and at least one of us needs a car that isn’t an absolute piece of shit.” You sighed, throwing your bag in the trunk before hopping into the driver’s seat, Javi taking his spot next to you as a passenger. “Please, please, please.” You mumbled to yourself, twisting the key back and forth in the ignition before turning the car over, praying it would start. “Yes! She lives to see another day.” You nodded your head in satisfaction as Woodstock’s engine rumbled. Javi shook his head, laughing to himself at your antics you had convinced him were the key to getting your car to start. “Alright,” You said, backing out of your spot and pulling on to the road, “you’re in charge of music today. Sorry I don’t have the Grease soundtrack in my car, but I do have some ABBA which I feel like could be a good replacement if that’s what you’re in the mood for.”

Javi rolled his eyes at you as he reached up to pull down the visor in front of him, lined with the CD’s in its sleeve. Since the two of you normally didn’t drive in your car, Javi wasn’t used to your music selection. Flipping through the discs, he found some overlaps, Fleetwood Mac’s “Rumors”, Queen’s Greatest Hits, AC/DC’s “High Voltage”, along with some CD mixes that your brothers had probably given you, but he was surprised to find a few CD’s of bands that he had never even heard of before. “Blink-182?” He asked, holding up the disc with a picture of a bull with the band’s logo branded into its ass. 

“David really likes them. They’re okay, there’s a few songs on there that I like, but some of them are really weird. I’m pretty sure there’s a song on there called “Dick Lips”.” You snickered, peeking over at the other CD’s Javi was shuffling through. “Oh, oh, that album is amazing.” You pointed at the dark blue disc Javi was now reaching up to grab. “David and Charlie both love these guys. You know the band Nirvana? The guy who was the drummer for them made his own band after Kurt Cobain died. I’ve been listening to this album every time I drive.” 

“I don’t think I’ve heard you play it around the apartment. The Foo Fighters? Literally never heard of ‘em.” He shrugged, pressing the disc into your car radio. 

“I think you’d probably would’ve remembered if I played them around the house.” You huffed under your breath sheepishly. “They’re a little more… intense than what I normally listen to at home, so no judgment, okay? Skip to the second song, it’s the best one.” 

“Now I’m intrigued.” Javi responded, placing his hand on your leg after skipping to track 2, his face scrunching in surprise at the intensity of the guitar and drums now blaring through your speakers. It didn’t take long for you to start drumming against your steering wheel, nodding your head to the beat, as you sang along to the words. 

“Don’t wanna be your monkey wrench. One more indecent accident. I’d rather leave than suffer this. I’ll never be your monkey wrench.”  

Javi watched as you lost yourself in the song, belting the lyrics as you banged against the steering wheel, practically out of breath as the CD moved on to the next track from singing. Javi always loved watching you sing along to whatever music you had playing, but something about watching you now was different, like there was intention behind every word that you sang along to, like you were letting something out that had been weighing on your chest with every thud of your palm against the steering wheel. 

“Sorry.” You sighed, lowering the volume of the next track as you caught your breath. “It’s a great song, but this is my angry screaming in the car song if I’ve had a shitty day.” You tried to play off your comment jokingly, Javi sensing that you had more you wanted to say, but you weren’t telling him. 

“What’s the song called?” Javi asked, trying to pry more out of you. 

“Monkey Wrench.” 

“Like the tool?” He laughed, making sure he understood you correctly. 

“Yes, like the tool.” You half smiled back. “The song’s not actually about the tool… Well, I guess it kind of is. It’s about someone who gets pushed around and used because they’ve always tried to be flexible and adjust to make someone else happy, but eventually they realize they can’t take it anymore, and are done putting up with that person’s shit before it breaks them. You finally come to terms with what a fucking waste of time it was being with someone who couldn’t have gave a shit about you.” 

You sat there in silence for a moment, embarrassed by your last sentence, realizing your comment had definitely become a lot more personal than you had intended it to be. “Sorry, I don’t- I don’t know why I’m talking to you about this, I shouldn’t have said anything about the CD, this is supposed to be fun, it’s your birthday, and now I’m ruining it and-” You stopped to look down as you felt Javi squeeze your leg, like he was trying to stop the apology that was flowing from your mouth with his grasp around your thigh. “Sorry.” You whispered, your voice shaky as you tried to hold back the tears welling in your eyes. “I know I always joke about Paul being an asshole and try to play it off like it’s not a big deal, but I think it fucked with me a lot more than I’d like to admit.” You took a long breath in before exhaling, shaking your head to clear your thoughts. “Okay, that’s all I have to say about that dickhead. He doesn’t even deserve the time of day to take up any space in my head. He’s a piece of shit, and I have you, and that’s all that matters. He can go… He can go… eat… rocks.” The both of you snorted at your terrible attempt at comeback, easing the tension in the car. 

“You’re not ruining anything, Osita. I promise. I can understand why the song makes you mad. Makes me fucking pissed for you. I swear, if I ever meet that motherfucker, I’ll kick him in the dick ‘till he can’t fucking walk.” Javi snarled, the idea of someone treating you like how your ex did practically making his blood boil. 

“I’d pay money to see that. Okay, no more Foo Fighters. Pick whatever you want and don’t listen to any of my suggestions because I am 0 for 1 today on birthday music.” 

Shuffling through the rest of the CD’s ejected the Foo Fighters album to replace it with one he knew would make you smile. As soon as the keyboard riff to “Rich Girl'' by Hall and Oats started, your mood instantly shifted, wondering how Javi always knew exactly how to make you feel better. “Listen, Javi, you don’t have to use the song, you can just tell me that you’re in this relationship for the enormous salary I’m raking in from teaching, it’s okay.” Javi reached down to grab your hand as you giggled, giving it a gentle squeeze as he watched you sing along, dancing in your seat, with a smile on your face. Truth be told, Javier Peña was a simple man, and knowing you were happy with him was the best birthday gift he could ask for. 

“Okay, we’re here!” You beamed, pulling up to the first stop of your surprise destinations for the day. Javi had lived in Laredo his entire life- he knew the city like the back of his own hand. That’s why when you pulled up to the small park entrance, Javi was perplexed as to where he was, or why you had taken him there. 

“Have I had it wrong this whole time, Osita? Are you the one that’s really the serial killer and you’re taking me out to some park I’ve never heard of to get rid of me?” Javi mocked as you playfully punched him before the two of you got out of the Jeep, grabbing the bag you had stored in the trunk. 

“Oh, shut up. Believe it or not, your dad is actually the one who told me about this place. C’mon, let’s go.” You hoisted the bag up onto your shoulder, making your way down the gravel path through the trees that lined the trail. Javi followed behind you, interlocking his hand with yours as you led him through the brush. The path opened up, revealing a small area overlooking Lake Casa Blanca, tucked away in its own corner, surrounded by trees and tall grass that swayed in the gentle summer breeze. It took Javi a moment to realize where you were, having been to the lake every summer since he could remember, but never once had he been here, shocked to find how quiet and peaceful the secluded patch by the water was. 

“Lake Casa Blanca?” He asked softly as you started pulling things out of your bag, laying down a big blanket, followed by a variety of containers and thermoses. 

“Mmmhmmm.” You nodded, fixing the edges of the blanket as you sat down, Javi joining you as you rustled around for the bowls and spoons at the bottom of the tote. “Your dad said you used to love coming here as a kid. So much that you would cry every time you had to leave. But he said there was a secret place hidden away on the opposite side of the lake where he always used to take your mom when they first started dating. They would be all cute and watch the sunset together before he had to take her home for the night. I know it’s not the sunset, and I know it’s definitely not your mom’s but um, I wanted to try and make you something for your birthday. I got her recipe from your dad. I know it’ll never be the same as hers, but your dad told me how much you loved it, and I-I hope that’s okay.” Carefully, you poured the pozole into one of the bowls, grateful that it still looked hot before you grabbed some of the garnishes out of the plastic containers and sprinkled them on top of the stew. 

“Is this… Is this her pozole?” He looked down at the bowl in shock, like he couldn’t even comprehend that the dish was really in front of him. He hadn’t seen the sight of his mom’s pozole de pollo in over a decade. He refused to eat anyone else’s, knowing it could never compare to his mamá’s. The memory of his mother lovingly feeding him bowls of the stew filled him with a comfort and heartache he wasn’t quite sure how to describe. He had never even bothered to ask his dad to make it, figuring like most of the things that brought him pain, it was easier just to avoid it all together. But then, there was you. How had you figured out this was his favorite? You must have gone out of your way to ask his dad? You made this just for him? You cared about him that much? He picked up the bowl and one of the spoons, realizing how nervous you looked as he scooped some up, bringing the spoonful of vegetables, chicken and broth to his mouth. 

You were practically holding your breath as he took a bite, praying to whatever higher power there was that he just didn’t hate it, or worse, that he was upset with you for even trying to attempt it in the first place. You watched hesitantly, over-analyzing every twitch of his face as he chewed and swallowed, looking up at you, tears welling behind his eyes. 

“Baby…” He paused for a moment, setting the pozole down. 

Fuck, was it so bad that you made him cry? Oh please, God, please not let it be terrible. 

He brought his hand to your cheek, caressing your jaw, his lips drawn in a soft sweet smile. His voice trembled, barley above a whisper. “It tastes just like hers. I-I never thought I’d get to taste that again. Thank you, Osita. You- You have no idea how much this means to me. It means everything. Thank you. Thank you so much.” A tear gently rolled down his cheek as he pulled you into his chest, cradling the back of your head as he brought you closer to him. He sat there for a moment, looking out at the lake then back down at you as he held you in his arms, the sweet scent of the pozole lingering in the peaceful silence. He wasn’t quite sure how you did it, but he swore he fell more and more in love with you by the second. 

“So, it’s okay? You’re not mad?”  

“Mad? Baby, how could I possibly be mad? I couldn’t be fucking happier. I love you so much.” He pressed a soft kiss on the top of your head, savoring the sweet scent of you as he buried his nose in your hair. 

“Well if it was really awful, it would be very fair if you were upset.” You let out a small huff of laughter, relief washing over your body, feeling like you could finally breathe again. “Like I said, I know it can never replace your mom’s, but it’s your birthday, and you deserve everything in the world- today and every other day. I love you too, Javi.” 

You were glad you had made as much pozole as you did, watching Javi practically inhale every last drop you had made. When you told him that there was still more in the fridge at home, his face lit up like a little boy on Christmas day. He was equally excited for the cupcakes you had made him, gobbling several of them down almost as quickly as the pozole. You sat at the edge of the water after finishing your food, listening to Javi tell you stories of his favorite memories at the lake, particularly enjoying the one where his older cousin had convinced him that you were allowed to take fish from the lake home as pets, and somehow managed to bring a full bucket back to the car with him before his parents found out. 

“Did you ever have any real pets as a kid?” You asked, finishing the last bite of your cupcake, still giggling from Javi’s story. 

“Besides all the cows and sheep and horses?” He laughed, face palming yourself for forgetting that Javi had literally grown up on a farm. “Yes in that sense, but never anything that lived in the house, besides that bucket of fish I almost got away with if my cousin wouldn’t have ratted me out.” 

“My house was a goddamn zoo growing up. I think by the time I was born, my parents already knew it was going to be chaos, so they figured, what were a few more animals going to do? I’m pretty sure at one point we had 3 dogs, a cat, Charlie had a rat and a snake which did not end well, and one day, Patrick and David came home from the pet store with an iguana, which only lived in the house for one day before escaping out the bedroom window at night, never to be seen again. Rumor is, that iguana is still roaming through the suburbs of Chicago to this day.” The both of you laughed, Javi raising an eyebrow, picturing you with all your brothers and animals running around the house. “After all of that, I am more than happy with just a dog, singular, not plural. I was close to adopting one when I moved down here, Paul hated animals- another red flag, despite how much I told him I wanted one, but it wouldn’t have been fair with me living in the apartment. I wanted to get a house when I moved down here so I could have a yard, but again, the giant teacher salary wasn’t doing me any favors, unless I wanted to live in a box by the side of the highway.” 

“I’ve always wanted a dog. I’d love to have one when we get a house.” 

We. When we get a house. That one put butterflies in your stomach. 

“When we get a house, huh?” You put a little emphasis on the word, the both of you blushing, quietly laughing to yourselves. 

“I mean, I love your apartment. I couldn’t be more fucking excited to live with you. But I mean- I don’t know, correct me if I’m wrong, I’m guessing you don’t wanna live there forever?” He traced his fingers along the small of you back as he sat propped up next to you. 

“I mean no, but again, not really rolling in cash over here in the money department, Jav.” You rolled your eyes, a part of you feeling guilty that your career choice always made you feel like a financial burden, despite how good you were with saving your money. 

“Listen…I don’t wanna sound like an asshole. I already know how much you hate the “I’m a man so I have to provide for you” stereotype, believe me. I’ve got a good amount of money saved up, and my job now pays better than the DEA even did. I just- I don’t want you to worry about it. I know how much you love teaching, and it’s un-fucking-fair how little teachers make, but I don’t ever want you to think you’re a burden because of it. I’d support you if you wanted to have 6 jobs, because if there’s anyone who could do it, it would fucking be you. But, I- I know you said that you wanted kids, and- and if you ever wanted to not work and stay at home with them, I’d support that too. I just want you to be happy, Osita. You deserve the world and I’d fucking give it to you if I could.” 

Those sweet chocolate eyes went straight to your heart. The way he looked at you made you feel like you were the only person on the face of this earth. He was right, you loathed the idea of a man telling how to live your life because he was the breadwinner, but you knew that’s not what Javi wanted. He cared about you. He cared about you so fucking much that almost hurt. He wanted to look after you because you were the only person in the world he ever wanted to treat this way. All he cared about was your happiness. And God, would more than gladly spend the rest of your life doing the same for him. 

“You trying to tell me you want me to stay at home and run the Peña household zoo while you’re at work?” You teased, giving him a little nudge as you smiled at him. 

“If that’s what you want, it’s what I want too. Although I may have to draw the line at having a fucking iguana in our house.” The two of you snorted, resting your head on Javi’s shoulder as he leaned down to kiss your head, placing a soft peck on your temple. 

“No iguanas is fine by me. Like I said, A dog is plenty. Maybe less kids than 4, but I could also be jaded from the 3 older brothers. But I mean- I guess, have you thought about how many kids you’d want?” You should have been embarrassed by how easily the question slipped out. There are lots of things you should have felt uncomfortable bringing up as you talked about your future together at this point in your relationship. You should of, but both of you seemed to agree that those should of’s flew out the window a long time ago. 

“Osita…” He paused, laughing to himself, shaking his head as he and those puppy dog eyes glanced over at you. “Baby, I’ll give you however many kids you want. I’ll give you a fucking football team if that’s what makes you happy.” Fuck, he’d give you a baby today if that’s what you wanted- but that’s one he still had enough willpower to keep as a should of, for now. Little did he know, you would have had as many babies as Javi wanted to give you right this very second. But that was a should of you could keep to yourself a little longer too. 

The two of you spent a little more time enjoying the warm Texas sun by the edge of the water, Javi bruising your competitive pride in your rock skipping competition, as you tried to persuade him that you only let him win because it was his birthday. Glad that Javi had decided to wear his new watch, you were able to keep a close eye on the time, gathering your things and ushering him to your last pit stop before the Peña ranch. 

“Alright, stop number two!” You smiled as you pulled up to Eva’s Dairy Barn. “Wouldn’t be a good birthday if I didn’t take you for ice cream.” 

“I was hoping this would be part of the surprise.” He grinned at you as the two of you exited your car, grabbing your hand as you stood in line. 

“Of course, Mr. Sweet Tooth. What’s today’s choice? They have a flavor that’s called birthday cake! Or does that not have enough sprinkles for you?” You stuck your tongue out at him as he wrapped you in a bear hug, shaking you as you both laughed. 

“Even on my birthday, you’re not gonna let me have a moment of peace, are you?” 

“Never. Where’s the fun in that?” 

You had never been more thankful for Javi’s incredibly fast eating skills, the impressive speed that he consumed his ice cream at keeping you on time for his last surprise. 

“You sure my dad really wants to see me that badly? I told him I was spending the day with you and that we could celebrate a different time.” Javi asked as the two of you got in your car to begin your journey to the Peña ranch. 

“Uh, yeah, he called the other day while you were at work, and said that he had something at the house he really wanted to give you today since it’s your actual birthday.” You replied, trying your best to make your lie as convincing as possible. It wasn’t until just now that you began to feel the nerves building in your belly. The day had already been so perfect, you hadn’t stopped to think about the surprise party until now. What if Javi hated it? What if he was mad at you for inviting all of these people? What if you had ruined what had already been such an amazing birthday for him? Javi could clearly sense that your mood had shifted, noticing how tightly you were now gripping the steering wheel of your car as you drove. 

“You okay, Hermosa?” He questioned, looking over at you with concern. 

C’mon, pull it together, you literally have like 20 more minutes, don’t ruin it now. 

“Me? Oh yeah, I’m fine, my head just kind of hurts. Probably didn’t drink enough water today.” You shrugged, turning up the radio volume, your answer seeming to satisfy Javi enough to keep him from pressing anymore. You tried your best to keep your cool for the rest of the trip, singing along to one of the Rolling Stones albums Javi had found tucked behind one of your other CD’s. By the time you were pulling down the driveway, you could feel how sweaty your palms were, relieved to see that Javi hadn’t noticed any of the guests’ cars peeking out from behind the other side of the barn as you approached the house. He reached over the center console to give you a quick kiss before the two of you exited, taking a few deep breaths and frantically wiping your clammy hands on your dress before Javi interlaced his fingers with yours to walk up to the house. 

“Hey Pops, we’re here!” Javi announced, opening the door for the both of you. He stepped a little further into the living room, a concerned look now growing across his face at the lack of response. “Dad?” He called out again to the sound of silence. Javi wandered a little deeper into the home, peeking his head into the kitchen and down the hallway as he looked back at you in confusion. “That’s weird, he’s normally done working by now.” He looked around, placing his hands on his hips before looking down at you, crossing your arms and biting your lip. 

“You promise you love me and you’re not gonna be mad at me?” You asked, scrunching your brow. 

“Baby, what is going on?” His face now even more puzzled. 

“You promise?” 

“Of course I promise, Osita, what is happening, why are you being so weird?” He now mirrored your stance, crossing his arms over his chest, trying his best not to panic. You grabbed his hand, leading him towards the door of the backyard patio, letting out one last little gulp before you spoke. 

“I love you more than anything in the world, Jav. I know you said you don’t think that anyone cares about you or your birthday, but there are so many people who love you, me included, who think that you deserve to have the most amazing day ever. I know you don’t believe it, but I do, and so does everyone else.” You pressed up on your toes to give him one last kiss before opening the sliding glass door, watching him walk out to the back porch. He looked around to see the balloons, streamers and string lights hanging from the deck as you stood behind him, giving a thumbs up to Chucho, who had all of the party guests hidden on the side of the house. He turned back around to face towards you, completely bewildered. 

“Osita, what’s going-” 

“SURPRISE!” 

Javi spun around to see not one, not ten, but a crowd of people now standing at the bottom of the deck, smiles stretched across their faces as they looked up at him. At first, he thought it was a joke. He looked back at you, nodding your head in reassurance, like you could read his mind. 

Yes, these people are all really here for you, pendejo. 

He looked back out into the sea of people standing in the backyard, now realizing just how many people had shown up just to celebrate him. His whole family- Aunts, uncles, cousins, and their children, his family friends, your 3rd grade co-workers, Carter and Miller, fucking Steve Murphy? And Connie? He turned around to face you one more time, tears welling in his eyes, truly in disbelief. “Baby… Did you… Did you do this all for me?” He cupped your face, cradling your cheek. 

“Yes, well me and your dad. Just about killed me to try and keep it a secret this long, I think I was gonna spontaneously combust if I had to tell you another lie.” Your gaze was soft and tender as you stared up at him, letting out a little laugh at the state of disbelief Javi was still in. “Happy Birthday, Javi. Te amo.” 

Taking his hands and grasping both sides of your face, Javi pulled you in closer, his mouth meeting yours with a passion that made your heart flutter, his kiss was deep and intense. It was almost enough to drown out the hooting and hollering of the crowd you forgot was watching you from the yard, Javi pulling away in laughter as he heard, who he assumed to be Steve’s loud “OW OWWWWW!” as the two of you found yourselves dangerously close to making out in front of Javi’s friends and family. Chucho joined you on the deck, his grunt from each step of the stairs giving away his presence as you ran over to give him a hug. 

“Lo hicimos, Chucho. Buen trabajo, Chiflado.” (We did it, Chucho. Nice work, crazy.) 

“Lo hicimos, Mija. Ven aquí, Javier. (We did it, mija. Come here, Javier).” Chucho held out his arm, motioning for Javi to join them in their group hug. 

“Feliz cumpleaños!” (Happy birthday!) you both beamed up at Javi, wrapping your arms around him. At that moment, Javi didn’t care how tough of a man he thought he was. He didn’t care that he was in front of almost everyone he knew. He didn’t care what anyone thought. The sight of the two of you wrapped around his waist, laughing and smiling together as you held him brought him to tears. You were the two people he cared about more than anything in this world, and the fact that you both cared about him just as much made him weak in the knees. For a very long time, Javi had convinced himself that he wasn’t worth caring for. Sure, people would say they cared, but words were really nothing but- They were just words. But then there was you. Your words, your actions, your kindness, your sweet heart. You. Everything about you. You cared about him. You loved him. For the first time in a very long time, Javier Peña could feel himself finally starting to believe that maybe, just maybe, he really was worth caring for. 

Chucho grabbed his son by the arm, giving him a firm grasp, as he too, wiped the tears rolling down his cheeks. “Te amo, hijo. Me enorgullece el hombre que eres. Yo se tu madre estaría tambien. Feliz cumpleaños, Javier.” (I love you, son. I am so proud of the man you've become. I know your mother would be, too. Happy birthday, Javier). You watched as the two of them embraced, Chucho patting Javi on the back, squeezing him tightly before pulling away and pointing at you. “She’s a good one. You better marry this girl, Javier. And not just because I want my nietos (grandkids).”  That one had both your faces turning an embarrassing shade of red as Chucho pulled you both back in for a hug before letting you go to address the crowd. 

“Vamos de fiesta!” (Let’s party!) 

As the upbeat music began to play in the background, Javi grabbed you by the hand, leading you down the deck into the crowd below. It was no surprise to either of you that the first voice that greeted you was one you hadn’t heard since the beginning of june. 

“MIJAAAAAAAAA!” Maria screeched as she wrapped her arms around the two of you, squeezing you in for a hug before pulling away with a staunch frown on her face. “Why have neither of you called?! Apparently you two are in love and I have to hear it from Chucho?! Dios Mio, I cannot believe it!” You and Javi laughed as she swatted at the both of you, the two of you grimacing between your giggles. 

“Sorry, Maria.” Javi replied, leaning back down to kiss her on the cheek, easing some of her theatrics.

“Fine, I will forgive you. Only because it is your birthday. As long as I am invited to the wedding, I won’t complain.” She pointed a finger at Javi as he pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath. 

“Maria… Please?” He looked down at her, giving your hand a little squeeze as you quickly caught him smirk in your direction. 

“Oh, pshhhhhh.” She waved her hand at him again, rolling her eyes. “I already know it will happen, so just keep me on the guest list. I really am glad to see you both so happy. Feliz cumpleaños, Javier.” This time, she ended her sentence with a genuine smile, bringing you back for one last hug before giving a wave and heading back into the crowd. 

“Well… This school year’s gonna be fun.” You raised an eyebrow at Javi, the both of you knowing Maria  was about to be a relentless investigator in your relationship once September rolled around. “I’m gonna go check on something inside really quick, are you gonna be okay if I leave you to fend for yourself?” You smiled at him, telling that as thankful as he was, Javi was still feeling a little overwhelmed by all the attention. He nodded, giving you a quick kiss on the head as you disappeared to make sure everything had made it to its proper place before the party kicked into full swing.  

Javi took a deep breath, relieved to find his dad approaching him, already holding out a beer in his hand for his son to take. “Figured you might need a little liquid courage.” Chucho chuckled, patting Javi on the back. Javi quickly took the can, cracking it open and holding it up to cheers with his dad, taking an extra long sip before holding it by his side. 

“She really planned all this?” Javi grinned at his dad in disbelief, looking out at the crowd around him. 

“Sure did, hijo. She’s been planning it for weeks, been over here more times than I can count while you’ve been at work. She wanted to make sure everything was perfect for you. That girl loves you so much, Javier. I hope you know how lucky you are.” 

Javi watched as you made your way back down from the deck, awestruck by every inch of you as you made your way back to him. Looking at you was like looking at a fucking dream. He was the luckiest man on the face of the earth. He knew that for damn sure. Before Javi could respond to his dad, he felt two hands grab him by the shoulders and shake him from behind, already knowing exactly who it was from the moment he heard his voice. 

“Happy birthday, you grumpy old bastard.” 

Never in his life did Javi think that he would be so excited to see Steve Murphy. 

“Hey, Murph.” Javi chuckled, grabbing Steve in a tight embrace, the two patting each other's backs before pulling away. 

“Fuck, you look old. What’d ya turn this year, 76?” 

“Fuck off, Murphy. Could say the same for you.” It had been years since the two had seen each other, but the way Javi and Steve picked right back up where they had left off made it feel like not even a day had passed between them. 

“Havin’ kids will do that to ya. Sure it won’t be long ‘till you find that out. Speakin’ of which, where’s the girlfriend?” Steve winked, taking a sip of his beer as Javi took an over exaggerated sigh, raising his own beer up to his mouth, relieved to find you walking up to the two of them. 

“Oh, you already got a drink? Okay, two for me then, I guess.” You shrugged, setting one of your beers down in the grass as Javi wrapped his hand around your hip, planting a kiss on your temple. “You must be Steve?” You asked, outstretching your hand toward his tall, lanky frame. 

“You must be the girlfriend?” He replied mischievously. 

“I wish. He’s just paying me to walk around with him all night to make him look good. Felt bad for the guy with it being his birthday and everything. What’d you say your name was again? Julio?” You snorted as you looked up at Javi, shaking his head as you nudged his side. 

“Fuck, she’s funny. I like her, Jav.” Steve grinned at Javi, raising an eyebrow. 

“You two are both the biggest pain in my ass I think I’ve ever met.” Javi retorted, smirking at you as he gave you a little nudge back. 

“Well, at least he’s got a type.” You held up your drink up to Steve’s, the both of you laughing as a petite blonde haired woman approached with 2 little girls behind her and one in her arms. 

“Hi Javi.” She smiled warmly, passing the baby off to Steve as she gave Javi a hug. “It’s so good to see you. Hope Steve isn’t already giving you too much of a hard time.” 

“Thanks, Connie. Good to see you too. Con, this is my girlfr-” 

“Girlfriend? I had a feeling. Steve told me all about you. It’s really nice to meet you.” Connie reached her arms out towards you, pulling you in for a hug. 

“It’s really nice to meet you too, thank you so much for coming.” You smiled at her, looking over at the two girls behind her. “Are these your daughters?” 

“Oh yes, this is Olivia and Abby, and the little one is Madison. Can you say hi, girls? Javi used to work with your dad a long time ago!” Connie cooed at the girls, playing with each other behind their mom. 

“Hi!” The girls waved shyly before darting behind Connie’s legs, giggling to one another. 

You and Javi both waved back as you crouched down on your knees to talk with them. “So Olivia and Abby, how old are you?” 

“10!” Olivia responded, trying to pull her sister away from Connie to get a better look at you. “Abby’s 6 but she’s really shy.” 

“I am not!” Abby demanded, stomping her foot at her sister. “I’m almost 7, so I won’t be 6 for much longer.” 

“Well it looks like we have two birthdays to celebrate!” You smiled as Abby peeked a little further from out behind her mom. “So let me guess, you girls are going into 5th grade and 1st grade? I teach 3rd grade, so I’m right in between you two!” The girls' faces lit up instantly as you told them about your profession.   

“I wanna be a teacher when I’m a grown up!” Olivia beamed, tugging at Connie’s sleeve. “Mommy, do you think she’ll play unicorns with us?” Abby now bouncing up and down in excitement next to her. 

“Oh sweetie, I don’t-” 

“No it’s okay!” You interjected, cutting off Connie. “Of course I can play. Just for a little bit though. I’m sure playing with you is way more fun than talking with grownups, but I promised Javi I’d spend time with him tonight because it’s his birthday, okay?” You stood up, now facing Javi looking like he hadn’t heard a single word you had just said. “Jav?” 

“Uh yeah, sorry, what’d you say?” He shook his head, trying to clear the strangely comforting feeling he had growing in his chest with how sweetly you had talked to the girls. 

“You okay if I go hang with these two cuties for a little while? Unless you’re also dying to go play unicorns, in which case I'm sure the girls will let you join since it’s your birthday.” You gestured back over to Olivia and Abby, laughing as you watched them already pretending to gallop around the backyard.

“I’m good on the unicorns, thanks Osita.” He chuckled as you pressed up on your tiptoes to give him a kiss before heading off to join the girls. 

“THERE’S NO KISSING IN UNICORNS!” Olivia shouted from across the yard making you, Connie, Steve and Javi burst out into hysterics, holding up your arms like you had been caught, turning around to point at Javi and give him a playful stank face as you walked away. 

“Goddamn, Jav. When you puttin’ a ring on that girl’s finger?” Steve and Connie both smirked as he passed baby Madison back over to her, Connie carrying her over to watch where the girls were playing.

“Murph, c’mon-” Javi tried to stop him from getting any further before he knew how much shit Steve was about to throw his way, regardless of what his answer was. 

“I’m bein’ serious, Javi. She’s a fuckin’ catch. Happiest I’ve ever seen you, that’s for sure. What the hell you waitin’ for, man?” Javi could tell Steve was being genuinely serious, something that didn’t happen often. Javi took another sip of his near empty drink as he rested his hands on his hips, staring back at Steve’s impatient glare. 

“I don’t know, Steve. I- She’s perfect. Fuck, I don’t know, it’s only been 3 months, I don’t wanna rush things or scare her off, I- I didn’t know you could love someone this much, Murph. I’m scared I’m gonna fuck it up somehow.” Javi’s gaze shot down to the ground, running his hands through the dark curls of his hair before setting his can down in the grass. 

“Listen, I’ll say one more thing and then I’ll shut up about it, I promise.” Steve held his hands up in defense as Javi nodded, waiting for what Steve had to say. “I dated someone before Con for 3 fuckin’ years and it blew up in my face because it just wasn’t it. I met Connie two weeks later, and I knew from the moment I met her I wanted to spend the rest of my fuckin’ life with her. Got married 10 months later. When ya know, ya know, Jav. And if there’s one thing I can tell for certain is that you’re fuckin’ lovesick fool for her, and she sure as hell loves you too. You won’t mess anything up, Peña. Now c’mon, I got a lotta birthday whiskey I need to give you.” 

Looking over Steve’s shoulder, Javi watched as you ran around with Olivia and Abby, that bright beautiful smile stretched across your face, his heart bursting as he watched you laugh and giggle with the girls in the grass. He hated to admit that Steve was right about anything, but there wasn’t a doubt in Javi’s mind that he wasn’t. He’d marry you tomorrow. He would have married you yesterday. Fuck, he would have married you 2 months ago. God, the only thing stopping him at this point was not wanting to hear the 10 pounds of shit Steve was going to give him during the best man speech at his wedding. 

Despite getting roped into playing Unicorns for a little longer than you had intended, the party seemed to be going off without a hitch. People were having fun, the food Chucho had grilled was delicious, and more important than anything else, Javi was happy. Genuinely happy. You were worried that with the amount of people who had come, Javi would be overwhelmed by the attention, counting down the minutes until the night was over. It had shocked you how many times Javi had thanked you not only for everything you had done for him that day, but for inviting so many people that he had barely seen since his mom had passed. He was so excited to introduce you to the rest of his family that you hadn’t met yet, and found himself on the brink of tears as you tried to converse with them in Spanish, finding out that part of the reason you had spent so much time with Chucho was to learn more so you could talk to the people he cared about the most in their native language. It made him burst with pride how each friend and family member he introduced you to couldn't express enough how much they loved you, and how happy they were for him. Truth be told, the only thing that Javi had to even try to complain about was the fact that you still made everyone sing him Happy Birthday and blow out the candles on the cake you had made. Even when he told you that you were mad about it, Javi knew that you could see right through him, and that he couldn’t have been more thankful for every single thing you had done for him that day. 

Long after the sun had set below the horizon of the Peña ranch, the party was still in full swing, the string lights you and Chucho had hung along the deck now lighting up the boisterous dance floor the patio had become. Despite his genuine happiness, you were more than convinced that Steve’s birthday whiskey definitely had something to do with the fact that Javi asked you to go dance with him, but wasn’t quite enough liquid courage to keep him on the dance floor as you tried to drag him back out to do the Macarena with you and his tías. After a few of his cousins had dragged him inside for another beer, Javi found himself sitting at the kitchen table, still getting a good view of you on the porch as you sang and danced away. Javi took a sip of his drink, letting out a content sigh as he leaned back in the chair and watched Steve fumble his way into the kitchen, holding Madison with a desperate look in his eyes.

“Thank God, there you are. Can you watch her, please?” Steve outstretched the baby girl out to Javi, panting like he had sprinted to come find him. 

“Steve, what? Are you sure that-?” Javi looked back at Steve suspiciously, leaving Madison dangling between the two of them as Steve practically set her in Javi’s lap. 

“Listen, I got two little girls out in the backyard fightin’ over who the hell gets to be the purple mermaid, Con’s out at the car tryin’ to get the girl’s pajamas, so either you take the baby, or go help Olivia and Abby decide who the goddamn purple mermaid is cause I can’t do both.” Sensing the desperation in his tone, Javi took Madison in his arms as Steve went as quickly as he came through the kitchen. “Word of advice, Jav?” Steve yelled across the room as he moved towards the door. 

“Yeah, Murph?” 

“Don’t let the kids outnumber you.” 

Javi chuckled to himself as he looked down at the baby now sitting in his lap. “Guess it’s just you and me, huh?” Javi shrugged as Maidson as he bounced her in his lap. Javi had never really understood why people were so obsessed with babies, considering that they didn’t really do much. But as Javi listened to Madison babble and squeal as he rocked her up and down, he found himself with a grin stretched across his face that he was definitely not expecting. Now on a mission to get another cute reaction out of her, Javi held Madison in his arms, making goofy faces at her as her happy shrieks and coos continued. 

Realizing that Javi had been gone for a good amount of time, you looked around the yard, finding that Javi was nowhere in sight. Chucho mentioned something to you about seeing Javi head into the house with his primos (cousins) not too long ago, so you decided to make your way through the crowd to see if you could find him. 

“Oh hey, there you are, Hermosa!” you heard Javi’s voice greet you, your back still turned to him as you closed the door behind you. 

“Hi, birthday boy! I was looking for-” 

Oh. 

Oh, dear lord. 

The sight you had stumbled upon was nothing that you could have mentally prepared yourself for. It hadn’t helped that for some reason, Javi seemed to be a kid magnet- every child at the party wanting to come up and talk to him or wish him happy birthday. That in itself would have been fine. But what really sent you over the edge was the fact that he was so goddam sweet with every single one of them. Like when you had watched as he crouched down to talk with one of his youngest cousins, listening intently as he told Javi all about his soccer team, or hug one of Estelle’s granddaughters who had made him a birthday card, Javi thanking her in that same sweet voice you had heard him use with animals. It practically melted to the ground as you watched him wrap his arms around her, telling her “Que hermosa! Muchos gracias! (So pretty! Thank you so much!)  As she handed him the card. That alone was enough to turn you into a puddle. But now, here you were, looking at Javier Peña, making the sweetest silly faces to the baby he had sitting on his lap. You were ready to run home and toss your birth control out the fucking window. 

“You okay, Osita?” Javi asked, waiting for you to finish the rest of your sentence. 

“Yup. I am great. I am doing perfectly fine. I am feeling SUUUUPER normal about what’s happening right now.” You gestured to Javi, now propping Madison against his shoulder as he stood up. 

Oh my GOD, is he broad. That man could easily fit 3 more babies in his arms. I’m about to get him to put 3 more babies in- NO. STOP. STOP THIS RIGHT NOW. You aren’t even close to being engaged yet, let alone married, you idiot. You cannot have this man’s babies right now. Well, I meannnnn, I guess I- NO. Self control. Pull it together, you hormonal monster. Jesus Christ. 

Javi shook his head as he laughed to himself, almost as if he could hear the internal monologue going on in your head as you watched him carry Madison over to you. “What?” He smirked at you, bouncing the baby girl in his arms. 

“Don’t you what me, Javier Jesús Peña. You expect me to walk in on you holding a baby and just be normal about it? Here, let me hold her before I look at you any longer and my ovaries burst.” You reached up as Javi passed Madison over to you, holding her only for a brief moment before Steve came rushing back in, snatching her out of your arms. 

“If Connie asks, I had her the whole time and the girls didn’t have two extra pieces of cake to stop the mermaid argument.” 

Before either of you could say another word, Steve was back out of the kitchen, rushing through the patio door. His swift entrance and exit left you and Javi alone, standing dangerously close to one another, the sexual tension between the two of you so thick, a chainsaw wouldn’t have been able to cut through it. You were using any and all self control you had to not pounce on Javi after watching him hold that baby, but he clearly seemed to have even less restraint than you. 

“C’mere.” Javi rasped, his mouth moving faster than his brain as he grabbed your wrist to pull you down the hallway into his room, frantically closing and locking the door behind him. In seconds, your lips crashed into each other, moans escaping from your mouths in between each breath, as your hands grasped at tight fistfuls of the other’s clothing. Javi’s tongue swept into your mouth, kissing you like his life depended on it, the both of you becoming so needy and desperate in each other's arms. Javi’s hands hiked up the hem of your dress, sliding against your thighs before wrapping his arms under your legs, hoisting you up and carrying you into the ensuite attached to his room, using his back to push open the door. He set you down on the counter, quickly pressing the lock to the bathroom before he was back to nipping at your neck, the palms of his hands pressing against every inch of your body as he slid the straps of your dress off your shoulders. 

“Javiiii…” You whined in between his frantic kisses. “Javi, we can’t do this here, all your friends and family are outside, this is a bad idea.” Your words were less convincing than ever as you ran your hands through Javi’s hair, tugging at the ends of his thick, brown locks, wrapping your legs around the small of his back to pull him closer to you. 

“I don’t care. Fuck, I need you right now.” He planted hot, wet kisses along your neck and chest, pushing down the top of your dress, leaving your breasts exposed, your nipples pebbling against the cool air and Javi’s touch. He swiped his tongue against each, flicking and swirling them in his mouth as he dug his fingers into your hips, making it harder and harder to keep your moans quiet. 

“Javi, we can’t. What if someone finds us? I want your family to like me, and I’m pretty sure one of them walking in on us isn’t gonna help my case very much.” You couldn’t even bother trying to convince yourself at this point. You could already feel how wet the fabric of your underwear was, slick pooling along your thighs as you and Javi practically clawed at each other, feverishly desperate and worked up.  

Javi smirked, shaking his head as hooked his fingers around the waistband of your panties, letting them fall to the floor as they slid down your legs. “You don’t have to worry about that, baby. They fucking love you. You know what everyone keeps asking me, huh?” He took his hand, placing it under your chin, forcing your gaze to meet with the dark, lustful pools of his eyes, the other sliding up your bare thigh, his fingers sliding through your wet folds, collecting the arousal already dripping from them. “They keep asking me when I’m gonna marry you.” 

He pushed his thick fingers into your heat, making you shutter as your hands white knuckled the edge of the marbled countertop. “Couldn’t stop thinking about it all fucking day. How fucking perfect you are, what good wife you’d be.” The calloused pad of his thumb pressed against your clit, the motion of him rubbing back and forth and his fingers pulsing in and out of you making you scrunch your face, your jaw hinged open, trying everything you could to keep quiet. 

Javi would have loved to do nothing more than spend the rest of the night making you cum over and over again, but the both of you knew now wasn’t the time or place to keep things drawn out. He pulled his fingers out of you, making you bite down on your tongue to keep from whimpering as Javi worked at his belt, hearing the buckle clink as he pushed his pants and boxers down his thighs. His cock sprang free as it flung out from under the waistband of his underwear, already throbbing and leaking precum from its tip. Javi spitting on his hand to stroke himself before collecting the slick around your entrance and pushing deep inside your heat. Javi held his hand up over your mouth, trying to keep from screaming into his palm as the sweet stretch of his length felt like it was splitting you open. “Shhhhh, I know baby.” He mewled, reaching his free hand down to once again rub against your throbbing bundle of nerves. “Gotta be a good girl and keep quiet for me, okay?” You nodded frantically as he took his hand off your mouth, biting down on your lip as his thrusts became quicker, pounding into you with a desperate intensity. “Jesus you’re so fucking wet. Does it turn you on, Osita? Thinking about me being your husband?” The way Javi punched against your walls had you writhing, squeezing your legs tighter around his waist and burying your face in the crook of his neck, toes curling with each satisfying thrust. You were practically incoherent- the way his hips snapped ferociously against you, fingers circling against your clit, talking about being his fucking wife? You let your words babble from your brain straight to your mouth, unfiltered, as they fell from your lips. 

“Fuck- oh my god - Yes, fuck, it turns me on so much. I think about it all the time. Fuck, I wanna marry you so bad, have your kids, I want all of it Javi. I want- Oh shit- I want all of it.” You could feel the tingle creeping from the base of your spine into your belly, digging your fingertips into the shirt stretched across the muscles of Javi’s broad back, crying out silently into his shoulder. The sounds that filled the air between you were wanton, hearing how wet you were as Javi slid in and out of you, his grunts strained against his gritted teeth, thrusting deeper and harder as he felt your pussy begin to flutter around him. 

“Jesus- fuck me - Makes me so fucking hard thinking about it. Making you my fucking wife, putting a ring on your finger, fucking a baby into you. I’ll give it all to you, Osita.” You balled  your fists around the fabric of his shirt, nearly ripping it off his back as you sobbed into his neck feeling how close you were. His free hand reached back up against your face, cupping over your mouth to muffle your moans, feeling you clench tighter and tighter around his cock. “That’s it baby. Let go. Soak my dick before I fuck you full of me.” The coil in your belly snapped as you whimpered into his palm, your orgasm overtaking you, body erupting with pleasure. 

Hi Javi’s thrusts became sloppy and sporadic, frantically chasing his own high, desperate to fuck every last drop of himself into you. “Fuck, Hermosa, you’re so good to me, giving me the best fucking birthday- mierda - you’re fucking perfect. All fucking mine. Oh shit, fuck, baby, I’m- ahhhhhh.” With one last pulse, his seed spilled against the heat of your walls, his cock throbbing inside you, pushing every last drop of himself into your cunt. He slumped his forehead against your shoulder, feeling the sweaty curls of his hair stick to your skin as your chests rose and fell in sync. Javi hissed as he pulled out, feeling the mixture of the two of you drip down your legs. Running his two fingers along the inside of your still trembling thighs, he collected your spend, bringing it back to your entrance before pushing his thick digits back into your heat, making you gasp. “Gonna keep you full of me all fucking night, pretty girl.” He leaned down to kiss along the trail he had swiped up before traveling his lips up your body, stopping at your mouth. He reached down to grab your panties, pulling them back over your legs as he helped you down off of the counter, shuffling them over your ass as he gave it a quick smack before pulling your dress back down to its rightful position. You leaned against the counter as Javi brought his pants and boxers back around his waist, fastening his belt buckle, looking up to see you grinning at him. 

“Did you mean what you said? About- about all that stuff?” You asked, biting down on your lip, heat building in your face as your heart pounded in your chest. 

“Every fucking word, baby.” He cradled your cheek, running his thumb along your jaw, his face radiating with joy and content. “Osita, this has been the best fucking birthday I’ve ever had. Never in a million fucking years did I think someone would even care enough to remember my birthday, let alone do all this shit for me. I never wanna have another goddamn birthday without you. Today has been perfect. I’m ready to go and take you home to our apartment. Tú y yo, Osita. Para el restoro de mi vida (Me and you, Osita. For the rest of my life.) I love you so much.”

 Before Javi could lean down to kiss you again, your bodies both froze in fear as you heard the doorknob to the bedroom rattling. “Fuck…” Javi muttered to himself. “Wait right here, okay? I promise I’ll make sure no one finds out you’re in here. Fuck, I’m so sorry.” He gave you a quick kiss on the head before carefully closing the ensuite door, trying his best to fix his hair and shirt as he heard knocking on the other end. 

“Jav! It’s Steve. I know you’re in there, you sneaky son of a bitch.” 

Javi groaned as he opened the door, stepping out of his room to find Steve smirking as he crossed his arms against his chest. “Whatchya doin’ in there, buddy?” 

“Fuck off, Murphy, I just- I had to go get something really quick.” Javi’s eyes darted up and down the hallway to make sure no one else was around. 

“Whatever ya say man. Hey listen, all the girls are cashed out in the car so we’re gonna hit the road. I just wanted to say it was so good to see you, Peña. The two of you need to come by sometime now that we’re close. I know I’ve given you a lot of shit over the years, but I mean it when I say I’m really fucking happy for you. Happy birthday, ya grumpy old bastard.” Steve pulled in Javi for a hug, giving him one last pat on the back before pulling away. “And Jav?” 

“Yeah, Murph?” 

“Your fly’s undone.” 

“Oh, fuck…” Javi muttered, quickly reaching down to zip up his pants while Steve was trying to keep himself from cackling. 

You snuck out of the bathroom to press against the doorway, trying to figure out who had almost caught you and Javi. Not realizing that Javi hadn’t closed the door all the way, you leaned just a little too hard, forcing it open as you sheepishly peeked your head out behind Javi. 

“Bye, sweetheart.” Steve winked at you before heading down the hallway and disappearing around the corner, your face beet red knowing you had completely blown your cover. 

“Bye Steve.” You muffled through the hand now completely covering your face in embarrassment before looking back up at Javi. “Better him than your dad, I guess? Or God forbid, Maria?” You both grimaced, the idea of either of those two finding you in the state Steve had making you shutter. 

“Jesus, I can’t even think about that.” You both laughed as Javi snaked his hand around your waist, pulling you flush with his chest. “Whaddya say we head home, roomie?” The name making you grin as you hugged your arms around his hips, laying his head against the soft fabric of his shirt. 

“Sounds good to me, birthday boy.” 

The two of you made your way back out to the party, the number of guests dwindling from the late hours of the night the party had extended to. You said your goodbyes to the friends and family still lingering, making sure to give an extra long hug to Chucho, thanking him again for everything he had done to help make sure the party had gone perfectly. 

“I can come over tomorrow if you need help cleaning up okay? Don’t need you complaining about your knees anymore than you already are.” You smiled, Chucho pulling you in for one last squeeze. 

“Cabrón. Mis viejas rodillas están bien.  (Asshole. My old knees are just fine). But if you wanted to come over tomorrow morning to help, I wouldn’t complain. I’m sure this one wants to come get the rest of his things and get out his old man’s hair once and for all.” He chuckled as he grinned at Javi, shaking his head at the two of you. 

“Sounds good, we’ll see you tomorrow, Chucho. Thank you again. You’re the best. You ready, Jav?” You squeezed his hand, giving him a little nudge. 

“Yeah, I just gotta ask Pops something real quick, I’ll meet you out by the car, okay?” He replied, giving you a kiss on the head as you gave Chucho one last wave before making your way back to the driveway. 

“Qué necesitas, hijo?” (What do you need, son?). Chucho raised an eyebrow at Javi, watching his son fidget with his fingers, leg bouncing anxiously. Making sure you had disappeared from his sight, Javi looked around the crowd one more time before taking a shaky breath. 

“I uh- I don’t need it now, but, I mean I’m still gonna give it some time- I um, I just wanted to know if, fuck, if um, I could- I could have mom’s ring?” 

Chucho’s eye’s glistened, beaming at Javi as he wrapped his arm around his son. “Javier. That ring has been sitting on my nightstand since I got home from Maria’s party all those months ago. I’m just glad you finally asked and I didn’t have to put it in your pocket for you.” 

Taglist: @cool-iguana @rhoorl @whyjuliaaa @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24 @3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85 @partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #narcos #narcos fanfiction #pedro pascal character fanfic #narcos fic #javier pena imagine #javier pena fic #javi peña x reader #javi pena #javier pena #javier pena fanfiction #javier pena fluff #javier pena narcos #javier pena smut #javier pena x f!reader #javier pena x female reader #javier pena x reader #javier pena x you #javier peña #javier peña fanfiction #javier peña smut #javier peña x f!reader #javier peña x female reader #javier peña x reader #javier peña x you #pedro pascal narcos #pedro pascal character #pedrohub

[jester089]

.

What would happen if, having appeared at the circus, the reader looked around and said animatedly. “Wow...this place has changed so much. You did a good job, Kane!” - instead of the usual panics. It was as if they were already here. And how do they know his name is Kane?

everything is very simple. The reader has already been to the circus once (back when the queener was alive), but was able to escape. The reader decided to come back, because they felt sorry for the people in the circus, but when they came again, all the old characters had long since disappeared, and instead they saw the main cast. They had to explain everything again: what the world looks like from the outside, how much it has changed, and most importantly, that there is a way out and they are helping them.

They know how to find a way out, remember their past and true name, and have decided to came back to help others escape. It would be cool if Kinder remembered the reader, because he was the first

Back so soon?

So their is what you asked. But it made me think of something. What if reader was someone who created Caine/the circus. And they check in like every 6 months or so just to see how everything is going, and to make sure nothing is going horribly wrong. But they can't get the others out. So they just do their best to make the place comfortable. I'll still write your request but my idea will probably be written soon. Maybe. I honestly don't know. But you didn't specify on if you wanted the crew sperate or not so I'm just going to do a one shot.

TADC crew x Reader who visits the circus

You pop in on digital circus every now and again just to check in on everything and see how Caine is. Your a coder and stumbled upon it by chance. That is actually how you found a way out, and help everyone with their memories. Those x'ed out doors are people you've gotten out, or ones who abstracted before you could help them. You sometimes use it as a vacation too. Life is stressful and that place is full of a childlike fun and relaxing atmosphere when you aren't worried about escape. I mean you don't have to eat, drink, or sleep. And you get to go on silly adventures. 10/10 vacation spot if that's your thing. You pop into the colorful main room and look around. It's about the same as last time, that isn't a bad thing though. "Caine! I'm back!" No response. huh. Eh he's a busy guy you can't really blame him. You start walking towards the rooms hoping to meet everyone new. ~~~~~

You get there and skim over the doors different pictures. "Ok so looks like we gottt. A comedy masked ribbon person. A mismatch of colors and pieces poor them. A chess piece. Oh no, their was a queen version. Oh geez now I feel awful. Maybe I should stop by more... Ok uhh, a ragdoll. A periwinkle bunny. And a Jester. Alright not a bad line up." You ring each rooms door bell getting no response each time. "Wonder where everyone is. I hope they're ok." You start wandering around calling out for Caine every now and again. ~~~~~ After around 20 minutes of wandering you find Caine and the group of people that the rooms belong to at the carnival. You jog up to them waving. "Caine! I'm back!" He does an over the top spin and hold the sides of his head like. "Y/N!!! What a pleasure to see you again! Back so soon too! We were having a day at the carnival! Seeing as how it wasn't used for a long time I made some changes! Their is now more rides! And an arcade! How about I introduce you to everyone!" "Yeah I would love that! Also I can't wait to try out the new rides. I had been on the old ones more times then I can count." He directs you towards the crowd of people some are looking at you confused as to how you know Caine, and aren't freaking out. Some just look like they don't wanna be there. ~~~~~

Around 5 minutes later you know everyone by name (Sorry I didn't write that. But you already know who they are and that would have taken me longer then I'm willing to take) so you introduce yourself and how you know Caine. "It's lovely to meet you all! I'm Y/N L/N, but you can just call me Y/N. I'm a coder who can get in and out of the digital circus so I visit sometimes." The short Jester who you now know as Pomni snaps her head in your direction. "You have a way out?!" "Uhh yeah. That's actually the main reason I visit so often. To help people out and get them out. It doesn't really work without me here so I try and visit whenever I can." "Get. Me. OUT OF HERE!" "Ok, ok geez. The rest of you want out too?" You receive only positive reactions so you take that as a yes. You motion for all of them to follow but before you walk off you turn to Caine. "Be back soon! Just gotta get these people home." "But of course. I feel their should be a way for me to be able to get people out. You'd think I would me being the controller of everything their would be. But at least their is a way for everyone to get out. See you soon Y/N and thank you again for all your help!" You wave then lead the group back to the main room and to the stage. "You can do this just about anywhere but this is the place that I've found is the best. My best guess is because it's always where people pop in when they first arrive." You walk up to a seeming specific wall and do something (?) to it. You move off to the side and motion for them to walk into the wall. Pomni essentially sprints into it not even thinking that you could be joking. And she goes straight through. The others soon following. After everyone's out you stretch and start walking back towards the carnival. "Some digital cotton candy sound pretty good right now. And I wanna try out those new rides Caine talked about."

(If I'm being honest I didn't really like how this turned out. But I digress. Sorry it took so long. And sorry only really Pomni talked. Still I hope you enjoyed it! I'm going to give this a special tag cause I feel like I'm going to continue it someday.)

xoxo, Jester

#tadc x reader #the amazing digital circus x reader #caine x reader #pomni x reader #noob author #not beta'd #A way out

[stedefxckingbonnet]

If you're doing izzy x reader requests I'd love to see something along the lines of reader killing someone for the first time either to keep Izzy safe or because someone threatened to kill him. With izzy just being shocked/honored that someone would do that for him and it makes him a little bit starry-eyed. Obviously if you're not vibing with this feel free to just use parts or ignore it all together 🖤 thanks for keeping the izzy x reader fics alive

Firstly, thank you so much for that last sentence—words like those motivate me so much more, and bring me so much joy! Thank you to all of you who have welcomed me with open arms, as I sorta feel like I arrived here out of nowhere!! I hope this one does your request justice; how could I ignore it, it's absolutely amazing! Enjoy the rest of your day or night, lovely stranger, and I hope you enjoy this as well! it brought me joy to write and I hope it brings you even more joy to read ♡

P.S. More longer fics coming soon, I promise! I'm still just dipping my toes back in to writing these, and I hope the lengths have been okay thus far! I may even revisit some of these first ones I'm writing down the line and elaborate upon them, if that's something you'd all be interested in.

Eternity | Izzy Hands x Reader

Warnings: death (not of a major character or reader!), mentions of blood, mentions of choking, brief violence beginning and escalating quickly, some language, kissing

Word count: 2755

There was one thing you absolutely dreaded that just seemed to come with the price of being a pirate, almost like a rite of passage—murder. You were lucky enough to have crew mates beside you with the exact opposite opinion to do your biddings for you because, let's face it, even if you didn't want the blood directly upon your hands, there were still people you thought deserved to die, for the safety of yourself and the crew. But the thought of seeing the life escape a person at your own discretion was a thought that absolutely haunted you. Even while sailing with Blackbeard on the Queen Anne you had managed to avoid such a situation. Still, you had always promised yourself that if it were absolutely necessary, you wouldn't hold it against yourself too much. You sighed at that thought, your face slumping into the palm of your hand as you finished your breakfast. Certain mornings, you preferred to rise earlier in order to avoid eating with the crew as much as you absolutely loved them, and Roach understood this, thankfully. Every night before you retreated to your quarters after Stede wove his bedtime tales, he would always discreetly pull you aside and ask whether you would be joining them in the morning and he was always prepared for either response, setting your meal at your usual spot at the table. This had been going on for quite awhile, and you always worried the crew would find out and then take it personally. But, no one ever had.

Though, you were confused as to why there was a second meal beside yours. You tried to eat as quickly as you possibly could in order to avoid whoever it was that might be joining you but of course, you were a smidge too late. Luckily for you, it was none other than Izzy Hands—for others, this would be an unlucky thing, but not for you. Never for you. You almost allowed yourself to smile at his appearance.

"What are you doing awake at this hour?"

"I could ask you the same thing," you shrugged as he sat beside you.

"Just haven't been liking starting my day with twats," he shrugged back, which earned a laugh from you.

"Am I included in that lot?" You couldn't help but tease him. He always acted annoyed when you did, but you saw right through his act.

"Fuck off," Izzy laughed quietly.

"Aww, I don't get the special treatment?"

"Why should you?" Anyone else would have thought Izzy was pissed off, but you knew better than that. He knew he was teasing you back, or at least, you hoped so. But you knew for a fact he wasn't really annoyed with you.

"Well, we go way back—don't we, Israel?"

Izzy chuckled. It seemed half-hearted, but you knew it was actually genuine, which warmed your heart that you could bring such sweet melodies out of him. "I suppose we do, yes."

"And I do all my chores before you even ask me to, and I get them done fast and still do a good job," you added, only sort of faux smugly.

"You want a sticker for that?" Izzy retorted.

"Wouldn't mind it," you laughed, sighing of relief as you did so. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a smile almost spread across Izzy's usually stone-cold visage, like one of a marble statue. You couldn't help but smile yourself. "Sorry if I kind of rained on your desirably lonesome parade this morning."

"You didn't," Izzy replied nonchalantly, but you knew this was his way of saying he enjoyed your company. You knew him long enough to know that. "I'm glad it's you and not Stede fucking Bonnet."

You chuckled, your eyes rolling in addition. "Yeah. Could've been a lot worse. But, a word of advice—if you don't want to be stampeded by a starving group of "twats", we'd better get going in the next minute or so."

Izzy's eyes widened and he quickly downed the rest of his meal before disposing properly of whatever leftovers you both had. You protested for a moment, claiming you could toss your own remains away, but he insisted, only on behalf that it would make escaping a lot quicker. Once again you saw right through this. You had always found Izzy's funny ways of showing you that he cared about you endearing. You wouldn't trade any of it for the world, as ecstatic as you would be to really hear or see him express appreciation for you. You giggled as the two of you rushed out onto the deck—the sun had just risen, painting the sky a sort of orange and pink hue and birds could be heard singing from a distance, if you listened hard enough. It was breathtaking. it made waking up this early in the morning worthwhile. You looked over at Izzy, who seemed to be somewhat taken by such a sight, until his lips curled into an intentional frown.

"Izzy?" you asked, trying to snap him out of his thoughts. "What is it?"

"Oh," Izzy laughed breathlessly. "Nothing. Don't worry about it."

You didn't buy that for a second, but you also knew it wasn't worth your time or energy to press him. You knew how stubborn Izzy could be, and how because of this, he never wanted anyone else's help in any capacity. But he was more pensive than usual; something seemed to be plaguing him, and it plagued you knowing you would most likely never know what it could have been. Without another word, Izzy was out of your sight before you even noticed he left your side. You sighed, almost slumping against the railing. Cheering could be heard from the dining room, but you knew you would catch wind of whatever the excitement was in just moments. Before you could wonder any further, Olu and Black Pete rushed onto the deck to announce the day would be spent on land. You smiled to yourself, thinking perhaps you could get Izzy to join you on an endeavor or two. You rushed over to him with a hopeful glint in your eyes.

"Did you hear? We get a day off!"

"Oh, joy," Izzy mumbled sarcastically. "I should stay behind, watch the ship. Someone has to do it."

"But you did that last time," you pouted. "Come on, Iz. It could be—

"—What? Fun? I doubt it."

You sighed for what felt like a millionth time. You were almost out of breath, but you weren't going to give up this easily. If only you could show Izzy that the world held more wonders to behold, despite all that he had claimed to already have seen in all his years. Or maybe, just maybe, if he saw how much it would mean to you.

"Today is too beautiful a day to waste," you claimed, hoping so much that he would take the hint.

Izzy paused to ponder it. He craned his neck over to meet your eyes. "I suppose I could spare an hour or two."

You almost jumped for joy right there and then, but you only nodded in his line of sight, then allowing for a grin to dominate your expression as you walked away, ready to get off of the ship. Izzy followed behind, and the crew knew better than to follow just yet. Once the two of you stepped onto the dock, then everyone followed suit.

"Don't tell me we're going into some trashy tavern," Izzy grumbled quietly. This sort of surprised you—all these years, did Izzy fake enjoying all of the drinks he would get for himself, talking with others for hours at these establishments? You didn't necessarily adore it either, but Izzy never complained about it.

"I was thinking the pawnshop first, if that's alright with you?" you proposed. "I have a few things I want to get off my hands but don't want in the hands of just anyone."

"Better than what everyone else has going on," he shrugged. You led the way, seeming to know this place like the back of your hand even though to Izzy's knowledge, you had never been here before. But, what did he know of your life before the Queen Anne? He wished he knew more, but he didn't even know where to begin. Flat out asking you didn't seem like it was on the table, as happy as you would be to reveal anything he asked of you, and even happier to hear of his own life that existed prior. Without another thought of this, you led Izzy down a few winding paths until finally, you reached your first stop, not knowing it would actually be the last for the day. You rushed up to the door to hold it open for Izzy, a grin making its way onto your face once again, unknowingly.

"What do ya know, chivalry isn't dead," Izzy muttered but you saw the corners of his mouth rise. With this, you followed behind him, making sure to gently shut the door behind you. You reached into your pocket, revealing a small red velvet sachet. You waltzed right over to the oak countertop, revealing a few shining silver and gold rings and chains, the same smile still existing upon you.

"I can offer you quite a bit for these," the shopkeeper started. "But something your friend over there has interests me far more."

He pointed at Izzy's neck, which only made him self consciously clutch his cravat.

"I'm only offering you what's in front of you," you told the shopkeeper.

"And he isn't right in front of me?" he retaliated.

"You're saying you don't want any of this?"

"No," he sounded as if he were about to snap. "I want all this, and your friend's necktie."

"Well, you aren't getting it, I'm sorry," you spoke sincerely. "But I am happy to offer you any and all of this."

Before you knew it, the shop owner barged out from behind the countertop and planted himself right in front of Izzy's face. He began to undo Izzy's cravat himself while Izzy tried to swat him away, but you weren't going to allow this to happen. You made your way over and tried to pry him off of Izzy, to which you were slapped for trying to do so. You clutched your cheek, almost shouting in pain. Izzy and the owner's struggle was beginning to grow more violent and much more personal than it should have been, and you had never felt more helpless in your entire life. The shop owner had Izzy on the ground and began to choke him, and before you could think it through, you were on the floor, viciously grabbing this stranger by the collar, turning him to face you. You already had your dagger in your other hand and stabbed him right in the heart, wincing as you did so, as the blood spilled out onto his white shirt, and bits of it splattered across your own face. As soon as you were sure he was a goner, you released his body onto the ground. Your dagger slipped out of your hands as you rushed over to your Izzy to help him up. He wasn't ready to stand, you quickly realized, so you sat beside him and rubbed his back as he coughed and tried to regain oxygen.

"You're okay," you cooed, attempting to soothe the man before you. He couldn't muster a word, but he immediately locked eyes with you and his breath seemed to return to him. "You're okay," you repeated for the sake of no one but yourself this time, tears welling in your eyes and streaming down your cheeks.

Izzy looked at you with such a disbelief written all over his face. You, who used to shrivel into yourself at the mere mention of blood. You, who declared to never take someone's life unless absolutely necessary—oh yes, he recalled such a proclamation, loud and clear in the early days of the Queen Anne, and he remembered thinking it absolutely ridiculous. He remembered thinking you wouldn't survive a day bearing that mindset. Yet, you still persisted, and sailed the seas beside him for what felt like an eternity. Normally, Izzy would describe an eternity in such a way that it felt dreary and undesirable, but with you, an eternity was nowhere near enough. If he could, he would spend multiple eternities with you and it still wouldn't be enough. He looked at you as if you were the only other person in the world. Sometimes, he wished you were. Sometimes, he wished it could just be the two of you. Death had never been this close to meeting him, but now that it had, his mortality felt far too real, and his feelings towards you felt far too hidden. Even before this moment, every time the two of you were in close proximity to one another, his heart felt heavy with all of the tenderness he held onto for you, barely being able to contain it and his heart being warm almost felt concerning to him if it hadn't been such a pleasant experience. And it was a bit concerning to him that it felt nice. Especially in this moment, he knew he couldn't conceal himself much longer, not after you had been so willing to sacrifice someone else's life for his. He was honored that you went against your own word for him, of all people.

"Izzy, are you alri—"

Before you could finish your question, and perhaps say anything else in addition, Izzy's lips were on yours. He tried to wipe the blood off of you with his gloved hand the best he could as you kissed him back with such fervor, such longing. You had wanted this for what felt like an eternity. This was what you thought of every time Izzy walked into a room, and even anytime he wasn't close by. There were some moments you couldn't even be around him in fear that you would embarrass yourself and accidentally pour out your heart to him. You never thought this would be happening, you never thought Izzy would even fathom half of what you possibly felt for him, nor even feel any of the same ways. But with all the discreetly exchanged glances, the "accidental" brushes against one another, the excessive lingering while you did your tasks some days, the following your lead whenever you had those scarce days on land, even finding out from Roach the night before that you would be eating your breakfast alone the following morning, there was simply no way Izzy didn't return your sentiments, even if he wasn't quick to show it. Eventually, Izzy had to disconnect his lips from yours, almost gasping for air again. A giggle escaped your lips as he gently tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, and he showed a smile that you had never before seen. You could have sworn your heart somehow gained a mind of its own and began doing backflips—how did it learn to do such a trick?

"I can't believe you did that for me," Izzy beamed, reminiscent of some sort of beacon or lighthouse.

You smiled sheepishly. "Are you mad?"

"The opposite, actually. I know your feelings about killing, and yet—"

"—It was worth it," you assured him, tracing patterns along the small of his back. "You are worth it."

Without another word as you both stood up, your fingers intertwined with his, the ungloved hand, and you slowly made your way back to the ship together, knowing no one else would be there to entice you into any antics. For a moment, it could and it would feel like you and your Izzy were the only two people in the world. You knew this moment wouldn't last forever, but it would already be one to cherish for the rest of eternity, and you hoped that now, you and Izzy could spend the rest of whatever that looked like together, thought it felt like you already have been. Only now, you could look over at him like he was your world, because he is, and not worry about what he would think. Now, he could hold you close to him and whisper everything he's dreamed of ever sharing with you since knowing you. Now, the two of you could truly share your love for one another beyond the end of time.

#our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd season 2 #izzy hands x reader #izzy hands #israel hands #ofmd izzy #ofmd izzy hands #ofmd season one #x reader #fluff #izzy hands my beloved #requests open #i just love my pirates so much #first request yay!

[fuckstheonott]

I Got My Eyes On You // T. Nott [Part 1]

Theodore Nott x girl!reader

!! ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE !!

Summary: Y/n Bones is part of one of the richest families in the wizarding world. She and Theodore grew up together, and for all these years, Nott watched her in silence, fascinated by every facet of her.

The two began a strange friendship after an incident and now, they meet frequently in the room of need.

“Hello, Nott" Y/n greets the boy from Slytherin "You’ve been coming here a lot lately"

The dark one goes in.

"It’s to make sure you’re still alive," Theodore replies, serene.

Y/n smiles.

“Come see what I found!”

And, of course, Theodore approaches.

The witch makes a grimace.

“By Salazar! What is this? Some kinda of muggle weaponry?”

The girl from Ravenclaw laughs.

“It’s called dry-er” She spells “Do you know what he does?”

“Does it dry things out?”

“It dries the moisture out of your hair! Isn’t that amazing?! It’s kind of noisy, but the technology is admirable. I mean, we can dry our hair with a swivel of the wand and the muggles invented an instrument that does it for them! They are really interesting little creatures"

Theodore laughs weakly.

Y/n blinks.

“You find literally anything amazing”

“And you have a limited brain, typical of a Slytherin” The youngest rolls her eyes.

“I like to explore, but I'm more into spells and potions, herbs, spices. Things that actually add something, because they are part of my reality”

Y/n looks at the brunette as if to say “Seriously?”

“That is, limited”

Theodore shrugs.

"Comes! I got more stuff!” And she pulls the Slytherin boy to the other corner of the room, without caring about personal space “Woow! Guess what it is!”

Nott looks at it strangely.

“This is definitely a weapon”

Y/n laughs.

“It’s a fan!” It spells “Speak! Fan!”

“Fan”

“Your Italian accent is really cute, so I’ll let that one slide”

Theodore rolls his eyes.

“And what does this thing do?”

“It refreshes the environment to alleviate the heat. See those propellers? They rotate counterclockwise and generate wind.”

Theodore blinks.

“Ok, this is cool”

“It is not?!!” She exclaims, exited.

For some inexplicable reason, Theodore likes being with the girl.

In a way, they grew up together. The brunette remembers that Y/n was always quirky. While the brothers ran up and down exploring the giant Bones mansion, Y/n spent time in the garden, looking for insects.

Theodore observed all his phases: The insect phase, the instrument phase, the color phase, the painting phase, the stars and aliens phase and marine animals...

Without the youngest noticing, Nott's eyes have always been on her.

He tried hard, condemned and fucked several girls... But it was no use, because the more Y/n grew, the more interesting and unique she became.

And beautiful.

Soon the others began to notice this fact, and Theodore wanted to smash the face of every boy who approached her with flowers or chocolate. To make matters worse, Y/n is a social virus, she smiles at everyone and is kind to the entire Hogwarts.

Finally, Theodore came to grips with her reality…

He would forever be an observer.

Until that day.

The day Y/n ran him over with a skateboard on summer vacation and they both broke their arms. She just burst into tears, but they weren't tears of pain, they were tears of guilt.

Somehow, after that moment, a strange and singularity friendship began between the two. They started to meet in the room of need and that was when Y/n introduced Nott to her new phase:

Explore Muggle Objects

“Why did you decide to be my friend after so long?” She asks suddenly, walking over to the sofa and throwing herself on it anyway “They say you’re not friends with girls, you only fuck them”

And suddenly, Bones sits down with everything.

“Merlim! Have you ever eaten Parkinson's ?!"

Theodore can’t stand it, laughing.

“Parkinson’s?! Do you swear? She’s not my type”

“Your type is blondes, from what Emma told me. That girl spends her whole day taking care of other people’s lives, there’s nothing she doesn’t know.”

“In fact, I like blondes… But she’s not my favorite type”

"And which one is it?" And Y/n blinks those little eyes, without malice in her question.

You – He wanted to respond.

"Next time we meet here, I'll tell you"

This is just something silly that I wrote, it's not good, but I still wanted to publish it because

I don't know, I thought it was cute? Who knows, maybe I'll continue

#theodore nott #slytherin boys #theodore x reader #harry potter #harry potter universe #theo nott #theo nott fanfiction #theodore nott x y/n #theo nott x y/n #slytherin

[navybrat817]

Valentine's Day Tradition

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Summary: Bucky wants to get you the perfect Valentine's Day gift. Word Count: Over 1.4k Warnings: Fluff, mix of nerves and confidence, slight feels (it's me), canon divergent, Bucky Barnes (he’s a warning, okay?). A/N: For @the-slumberparty 's Blast From the Past challenge, I went with A New Tradition Bucky. ❤️ Beta read by the wonderful @whisperlullaby, but any and all mistakes are my own. Moodboard by yours truly, banner by the lovely @sgt-seabass, and divider by the amazing @firefly-graphics. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

As Bucky circled the shop for the umpteenth time, he felt like the worst boyfriend alive. Valentine's Day was almost here and he had no idea what to get you. Even though you assured him that he didn't have to get you anything, he refused to turn up at your place empty-handed. He also knew he wanted your gift to be something special, especially since it was the first holiday the two of you were celebrating together as a couple.

Why is this so difficult?

He knew well enough that you didn't want anything extravagant, like an over the top fancy dinner. The traditional route of flowers and chocolate didn't sound like a bad idea, but any guy could do that for you. What could he do to make it unforgettable? How could he make this Valentine's Day stand out?

"You're overthinking again, aren't you?" Steve asked.

"Steve, this is hopeless and I'm not overthinking," Bucky replied into the phone as his friend chuckled. "Okay, maybe a little, but why can't I figure this out?"

"Because you're overthinking."

"Like you didn't overthink with your gift," he argued.

"We're not talking about me. We're talking about you," Steve said.

"I used to be good with women," Bucky sighed.

"You still are, otherwise you wouldn't be in a relationship."

Fair.

"The jury is still out on whether she made the right choice by choosing me as her man," he said.

"She's good for you and you know it," he said.

Steve was happy that Bucky started dating you. God knows he had to hear enough about you before you got together. It was only fair since he got to hear all about his writer girlfriend. He wondered when his best friend would pop the question.

Hopefully soon.

"So you really don't have any ideas?" Steve asked.

Bucky stopped in front of one of the displays where a few other guys stood. "No, but she did jokingly request no jewelry."

"Well, she does make jewelry," Steve teased.

A small smile touched his lips. You put so much thought and care into every piece you made. As nice as it was to maybe get you more tools and supplies, he could do that any day of the week. It wasn't romantic enough.

"Buck, I can practically hear you overthinking again," Steve sighed.

"Because I'm stuck!" he said, wincing once he realized he raised his voice and ignoring some of the funny looks he got. "I just want it to be special, you know?"

"Then get her something from the heart."

"That's your advice?" he scoffed as he walked away from the jewelry. "This is for the beautiful woman who made me personalized dog tags. I'm just an old science nerd who likes to read and…"

Bucky trailed off as he stopped at another display. The answer was so simple. Why hadn't he thought of it sooner?

"You figured it out, didn't you?"

"I did," he answered, smiling as he looked back at the jewelry. "And I may have even come up with a new holiday tradition."

"That's it. I can't eat another bite," you said, dropping your fork on your plate and rubbing your stomach. "You've outdone yourself."

Bucky's cheeks warmed as he smiled. He expected to be nervous tonight, but he felt good. Confident. It was nice to be comfortable in his skin.

He knew he wouldn't feel that way every day, but your smiling face made a huge difference.

"You helped me make the meal," he reminded you, reaching over to brush the corner of your mouth with his thumb. "But keep stroking my ego. I like it."

You grabbed his wrist before he could pull his hand away and teasingly nibbled the tip of his thumb. "Play your cards right and I'll stroke something else, Jamie."

This woman might be the death of me. What a way to go.

"So, you're telling me you want dessert," he smirked, purposely deepening his voice and licking his bottom lip.

You inhaled sharply as you released his wrist. Even though the two of you decided not to go out to dinner, he dressed nicely for you. The short dress you picked even matched the color of his top.

Proof that we fit together.

"I very much want dessert," you said, leaning forward on the table to give him a generous view of your chest. Was it impolite to stare? "I also want to give you your gift before we watch a movie."

Homemade meal, gifts, and a movie. It was the perfect, low-key evening. As long as you liked what he picked out for you.

If you hate it, I'm blaming Steve for the advice he gave me.

After clearing the table, because no way in hell was he making you clean, he joined you in the living room. The blanket and pillows were already set up on the couch and he wondered how far you two would make it through the film. Would you prefer for him to be a gentleman or an animal?

Maybe a bit of both.

"Since I didn't have your gift ready in December, I think it's only fair that you open your gift first," he said, setting the box on the coffee table.

"If you insist," you smiled.

The confidence Bucky felt earlier began to slip away as you examined the box and began to unwrap it. Maybe he should've picked prettier wrapping paper, even though it was going to end up in the trash. No, he had no reason to be nervous. You were going to love your gift.

I hope.

"Oh, my God," you gasped, smiling as you lifted up your present and looked it over.

The flower inside the glass case was unique and beautiful. The gold leaves shined as you spun it in your hand, along with the rainbow colored petals. The additional LED lights would bring an extra layer of brightness to your gift.

"I did some research after I saw a Beauty and the Beast display at a shop. It's called a galaxy rose. I know flowers are traditional for Valentine's Day, but I wanted something that would last," he explained, wiping his palm on his pants as you lifted the gift from the carton. When did he start sweating? "So I got you a rose that will never fade away."

Is that romantic or lame?

"It's perfect," you said, your eyes shining as you set it down and shifted on the cushion to face him completely. He let out a breath as you placed your hand on his cheek. The happiness that radiated from you was worth every moment he agonized over your gift. "I love it."

"I know it isn't the Beauty and the Beast rose, but it'll do," he smiled, placing his hand over yours.

"I'm clearly the Beast since I would gift you with a library if I could," you giggled.

We can build a library together.

"You're Beauty and you know it," he smiled, reaching into his pocket. "But there's still one more thing."

"There's more?" you asked as he pulled his hand out of his pocket and opened his fist.

In the palm of his hand sat a heart shaped rose quartz with the word "heart" etched in the middle.

"The science nerd in me and the jeweler in you. I mean, I'm not a geologist, but I thought this was fitting," he said, placing the stone in your hand. "You said you wanted to start new traditions. And for every holiday I spend with you, I want to give you a new stone with a new word. Something small, but meaningful for both of us."

Something from my heart.

Your eyes watered as you closed your hand around the quartz and for a moment you didn't speak.

God, you hate it. So much for new traditions.

"Jamie," you sniffled as a tear slid down your cheek. You opened your mouth to speak again, but instead pressed your lips against his. Heat rushed through him as he tenderly returned the kiss. "Thank you for making tonight so special. I won't forget it."

Mission success.

"The night isn't over yet," he whispered, unable to resist teasing you with his next statement. "I still have my gift to open."

You giggled, the quartz still in your hand as you pulled him back in for another kiss.

Best Valentine's Day ever.

New tradition in the books! Wonder what the next holiday will be. ❤️ Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

#navybrat writes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes au #navy and roo's sleepover #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x female reader #sebastian stan x you

[statisticallymorelikely]

00Q au edit for @ironpe: pre-MI6 relationship

AU where Q and James had a relationship before James was recruited to MI6. After a hasty recruitment, James disappears suddenly, ordered not to contact anyone from his past life, including his lover, the man who would become Q. He's pronounced dead from a botched Naval mission that never happened, and Q goes on to search for him tirelessly for years. Until, one day, they finally meet again, as agent and quartermaster.

---

After one particularly close call, James decides enough is enough. If he can die at any moment, he'd rather do it without any more regrets adding to the pile. So when he goes to return his equipment, he ignores R completely, marches into Q's office and stands right there, locking the door behind him.

Q's mouth opens, but James beats him to it. "I'm not leaving."

"007," Q sighs. "Unless the world is actively imploding, I have nothing to say to you. Kindly return your equipment to your designated handler."

"Alright, Q, you don't need to talk. I only need you to listen to me."

Q stands up, arms folded. Though his demeanor seems guarded, James notes the excessive blinking and the clench in his jaw. "I don't want to listen to any of your excuses, 007."

"No excuses, Q. I'm here to apologize." James lets out a rumbling breath. He can practically hear the grief and regret rattling in his bones, he's tired. "I shouldn't have left like I did. I've broken rules before, could've easily snuck away to contact you. Truth is, by the time I could, I had so much blood on my hands, I couldn't risk staining you. Every day since I've hated myself for hurting you. I'm sorry."

The moments stretch out between them silently, until it's suffocating. When Q finally does break the silence, it's with a whisper. "I thought you died. I've committed treason several times over, hacking into government records just to find you. I didn't want to accept you were dead."

Q looks up at him for the first time, eyes wet. "I grieved you, James, and to find out that you've been alive this whole time--"

James moves closer, but Q holds his hand up to keep him at bay.

"-- and not only that, but to find out you've moved on." Q swallows thickly. "I know about Vesper, James. Do you know what it says in your file?"

He does.

"You almost retired for her. So I suppose I never mattered enough for you to give all this up."

James sighs, defeated. "What can I do to earn back your trust?"

"I don't know if you can." Q hugs himself tightly. "And if you could, this is not the way to do it. You can't just barge in here and ask for things to go back the way they were! This isn't something you can fix with an apology!"

"I know that. I'm not trying for a quick fix, Q, I'm in this for the long run. Whatever it takes, however long it takes, I want to earn your forgiveness, please."

The last word softens Q, the fight dissipating from his posture. "I'll think about it. For now, put what's left of your kit on the table and fuck off."

James nods once, taking the small leather case from his suit pocket and placing it on the desk. "Thank you, Q."

With that, he leaves.

Q opens the case to reveal a gun, radio and electronic lock pick, all fully intact. Despite his better judgment, his battered heart skips a beat.

#00Q #007 #quartermaster #james bond #00Qedit #happy momf bebby #buzzer beater lmao #au edit tag #snippet lifted almost fully from the one we wrote together #except the shitty ending because once again i ran out of steam

[boredflautist]

quotes that keep me alive

"all the people are fake, they're made out of metal. But I like you, and that is not fake" -young royals

"I could recognize him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world." -song of achilles

"No one ever says goodbye unless they want to see you again." -turtles all the way down

"I want to be with you. If we have to keep it a secret then... So be it, if thats the only way... But no more secrets between us. I love you" -young royals

"Why does the word 'love' from you hurt me so damn much?" -Only Friends

"I've always thought Ray was my 25th hour, my extra hour. But the truth is, everyone has the same 24 hours in a day. And within Ray's 24 hours, I'm not part of it. I'm not that special." -Only Friends

"If I'm gone, I won't be anyone's burden anymore, right?" -Only Friends

"You were wearing corduroy, acting like a poster boy" -poster boy by Lyn Lapid

"I would recognize you in total darkness, were you mute and I deaf. I would recognize you in another lifetime entirely, in different bodies, different times. And I would love you in all of this, until the very last star in the sky burnt out into oblivion" -song of achilles

"Tell me every terrible thing that you ever did, and let me love you anyway" -edgar allan poe

"The closer I get to you, the worse it gets. The thought of not being with you... I can't breathe. I'm haunted by the kiss that you should never have given me. My heart is beating, hoping that that kiss will not become a scar. You are in my very soul, tormenting me... What can I do? I will do anything that you ask." -anakin skywalker

"If changin' my clothes would make you like me more, if changing my hair would make you care, then I'd grab the kitchen scissors and cut myself to slivers" -jigsaw by conan gray

"'Sorry' doesn't make up for everything you did to me." -heartstopper

"You were my brother Anakin. I loved you." -revenge of the sith

"The truth is what I make it. I could set the world on fire, and call it rain." -red queen

" But isn't it also that on some fundamental level we find it difficult to understand that other people are human beings in the same way that we are? We idolize them as gods or dismiss them as animals." -paper towns

"And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like 'I love you'" -somethin' stupid by frank sinatra

"Tell me it isn't true. Tell me I'm wrong. Tell me I'm blind. Tell me you love me. " -shatter me

"I do want to be your friend. I want to be the friend you fall hopelessly in love with. The one you take into your arms and into your bed and into the private world you keep trapped in your head. I want to be that kind of friend." -shatter me

"The truth is a painful reminder of why I prefer to live among the lies" -shatter me

"'Don't ask me questions you already know the answers to. Twice I've laid myself bare for you and all it's gotten me was a bullet wound and a broken heart. Don't torture me,' He says, meeting my eyes again. 'It's a cruel thing to do, even to someone like me.'" -shatter me

"Everything's a game, Avery Grambs. The only thing we get to decide in this life is if we play to win." -inheritance games

"The world was collapsing, and the only thing that really mattered to me was that she was alive." -the last olympian "You think I didn't fight the same fight? I halfway convinced myself that as long as Avery was just a riddle or a puzzle, as long as I was just playing, I'd be fine. Well, joke's on me, because somewhere along the way, I stopped playing." -the Hawthorne legacy

"When you're ready, if you're ever ready, if it's going to be me - just flip that disk. Heads, I kiss you." His voice broke slightly. "Tails, you kiss me. And either way, it means something." -the Hawthorne legacy

"Hell is empty, and all the devils are here" -william shakespeare

"But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all" -10 things I hate about you

"It's just like the novels, side characters end up alone" -footnote by conan gray

"You made us past tense," I said, my voice cracking, "not me." -betting on you

"Because when they write the history of my life, I want it to include you" -red white and royal blue

"My life is the crown, and yours is just politics, and I will not trade one prison for another" -red white and royal blue

"Or maybe it was when I realized the bruises on your neck were fingerprints and wanted to kill them all over again just so I could do it slowly. Maybe it was the first time I recklessly kissed you or when I realized I'm fucked because I can't stop thinking about doing more than just kissing you. Does it even matter when, as long as it changed between us?" -fourth wing

"Oh darling all of the cities lights, never shined as bright as your eyes" -car's outside by james arthur

"I would rather lose this entire war than live without you, and if that means I have to prove myself over and over again, then I'll do it. You gave me your heart and I'm keeping it." -iron flame

"Because pain in the body quiets the pain in your head. It feels good - like a kill switch for your brain" -kill switch

"Then take your punishment like the pathetic creature that you are" -cruel prince

"Most of all, I hate you because I think of you. Often. It's disgusting, and I can't stop." -cruel prince

"If you're the sickness, I suppose you can't also be the cure." -the wicked king

"I hate you. I hate you so much that sometimes I can't think of anything else." -the wicked king

"Yes, my sweet villain, my darling god. I will be as sober as a stone carving, just as soon as I can." -the wicked king

"She is my wife," Cardan says, his voice carrying over the crowd. "The rightful High Queen of Elfhame. And most definitely not in exile." -the queen of nothing

"By you, I am forever undone." -the queen of nothing

"Come home and shout at me. Come home and fight with me. Come home and break my heart, if you just. Just come home." -the queen of nothing

"I wasted all those yesterdays and am completely out of tomorrows" -they both die at the end

"For what it's worth, I doubt I will ever like anyone else in the world as much as I like you." -book lovers

"I'd never thought about my favorite color before. It never seemed important. Not until I looked into a pair of ocean-blue eyes and realized that perhaps drowning was a beautiful thing" -powerless

<3

if you've made it to the end good god please get some sleep

#young royals #simon and wille #song of achilles #turtles all the way down #only friends the series #lyn lapid #edgar allan poe #edgar allan ravens #anakin skywalker #attack of the clones #conan gray #jigsaw #charlie spring #heartstopper #obi wan kenobi #revenge of the sith #aaron warner #shatter me #the inheritance games #the hawthorne legacy #jameson hawthorne #10 things i hate about you #lynn painter #red white and royal blue #fourth wing #xaden riorson #the cruel prince #jurdan #cardan greenbriar #the wicked king