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inkskinned · 1 year

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it is all love.

sometimes you will see something saying what if it is all worth it or it gets better, doesn't it and in the little heart of you - you feel a darkness.

was it love, the way i was hurt? some things don't have a lesson in them. no silver lining. they were bad things, and they shouldn't have happened. i'm sorry they did. i am sorry they warp the space they hold in you. we tightrope walk around an ever-present grave. we carry that ache for so long it becomes smooth, overworn. i worry that i'll bore my therapist - despite all of my attempts, the pain persists the same, as sharp as it always was.

but it was all love.

every ugly moment after. every bad night. every time you drank too much and cried on the bathroom floor. every time you threw up from anxiety, every time you panicked in the grocery store. everything you ruined, and everything you walked away from.

some small part of you loved you enough. made you get up. made you wash your face and clean your teeth and call home. made you try again, even from the bottom. even when you were so tired of it; of restarting, of having to do-it-all-again. some part of you reached out. some part of you reached up. even there, in the bad spot - you somehow got up.

love will so rarely be big. it will so rarely be a moment like a dawn. love is shy, i think. she keeps her hands in front of her cheeks. she waits to peek out. and if you're not looking, she will look - normal.

but it will all be love. the way you pour yourself a glass of water. the little rabbit outside your window. your friend pushing your hair behind your ear. the way your dog greets you at the door. "put on a seatbelt". "text me when you get home safe". "oh, i started watching that show you love." "have you been okay?" "let's go for a walk" "whatcha doin?" "what should i make for dinner?"

oh, my life is so different these days. i don't have a partner. i call my friends a lot. i keep falling in love with the little tender moments; the glittering ones. you know, the bird in a puddle and the shush of a newly-lit candle. the movie-moments.

i am also learning to love the ugly. every moment i spent belly-flat to the floor, anxious and panting. every hour i stared at nothing, losing time to my adhd. every missed opportunity and bad memory. i am not doing well. i am spiralling.

but somewhere in there, while i am reduced to ashes. some part of me is an ever-burning ember. her little thankless job, her shy and croaking voice. she holds me to my body. she doesn't let me go. stay, she whispers. out of love. my love. wherever it goes.

some of the bad things that happened to me will always be bad. they did not make me a better person. they made me worse. i only learned what i can endure. and i did endure it. and love wasn't just the perfumed moments. love was just ... staying. while it's ugly and hard and horrible. love was just saying:

okay. i will keep trying. keep going. i owe it to the version of myself who brought me here. i owe it to my future. i owe it to the small loves i have found since - the music and the new recipes and the new books and the new hobbies. i owe it to myself to wait for the next best thing. this wall we have hit - love says keep walking. maybe one day we will find a door.

always, always: just one try more.

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electrosair · 8 months

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hiiii! hope ur doing well ❤️I'm joining in on the matchup bandwagon as well yippeee

to give you a tiny bit of an idea about my personality, i'm an INFJ 9w1. I tend to be extremely shy, and closed off from people when it comes to talking about myself, as my main focus is on the people themselves and the world around me in general. I like to maintain peace and quiet and help the others around me - but also escape in other worlds through books, video games or fiction.

I'm very emotionally sensitive. I am also prone to overthinking and getting really anxious. It's easy to make me embarrassed too!

generally I don't bother people with my problems because I'd feel really selfish, but I am always willing to help those in need - hell people even come to me for advice, comfort or just to be heard. I kind of tend to neglect myself sometimes, when it comes to my physical energy or emotional well-being.

being social isn't very easy for me and I run out of energy quickly.

I have only a few friends. when I'm around them I tend to have a very positive and pleasant disposition! I actually tend to be a little louder than I normally am, and I've been told that it brings people at ease. also my optimism is seemingly infectious, or so I've been told. the thing is that I'm very optimistic around people, but negative with myself - I'm my own worst critic, I'm very harsh on myself.

I value honesty and I prefer for people to tell me things at face value. I can be blunt most of the time, but I usually read the emotional atmosphere and go easier with my words (sugarcoating most of the time), so I don't hurt the others around me (I tend to gently scold people sometimes). it's hard to make me angry, and also I forgive easily.

I am able to predict outcomes of situations most of the time, and it's helped me a lot (legit feel like I'm able to avoid any dangers fhsjfhd).

my favourite nation is Fontaine! lovely story, music, landscape and characters, and exploration is so fun. as for my favorite element, it has to be anemo!

during my free time I am usually reading about psychology stuff (I love understanding the human mind and people around me in general), playing video games, watching vtubers, watching documentaries (from nature to crime ones), or creating my own artwork, characters and generally just. creating things in my head and living in my own little world when things get too tough for me (its a good way for me to cope).

some fun facts as the cherry on top! I'm a very organized person. my entire room is SUPER organized, neat, super clean. some plushies, manga and books here and there.

I am good in academics, I'm hardworking, and I love animals. cats especially. I'm a sucker for cute things, and I kinda know how to cook. I don't have a lot of physical strength, I'm really weak.

I dedicate myself to those close to me a lot, at this point some people would call a sister figure or a "mom friend" lol.

🙏I hope this isn't a lot. if it is I'm super sorry I tend to ramble plenty;;; anyway make sure to take real good care of urself! sending love ~ ꒰⁠⑅⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠꒱⁠˖⁠♡

you can ramble all you want in my requests 😭

Lyney!

After getting to know you a little better he would make sure to ask you every so often how you've been feeling since he knows that if he doesn't ask you, you won't tell him anything.

He loves when you to start to open up little by little with him, he would try everything so that you can become closer and gain trust with him. One of the things he does is to invite you to the new shows he does, always in the front row so he can surprise you more.

He might even ask you what you would like to see in magic tricks or if you know any, he also wants ideas and would be willing to listen to you and figure out afterwards how he can do it. Lyney would also tell you about some of his own, but always in a discreet way so as not to ruin the moment of the performance for you.

He's probably a person who really appreciates order to have everything go according to plan, so I think you would also be pretty compatible in terms of little personality things like that as well. And the fact that you like cats so much just makes it even better.

#genshin impact #genshin impact fluff #fluff #genshin impact blurb #genshin impact headcanons #genshinimpact #genshin #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin matchups #air matches you up #lyney #lyney fluff #lyney x reader

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seongminiz · 9 months

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camboy!taeyoung thoughts !!

minors dni ; camboy roommate!taeyoung x afab!reader ; word count: ~770

warnings : not very detailed smut ; masturbation ; dont know how but this mighttt count as dubcon since both taeyoung n reader r doing everything behind each others back ? ; kind of exhibitionism idk ; i overuse the („• ᴗ •„) emoticon bc im insane

based on that one taeyoung video , might be- no its definitely all over the place , not proof read , was supposed to post this last night but i fell asleep , pls guys dont make fun of me idk how long i can still pull the autistic aroace lesbian card to defend myself from the shitty writer allegations , im very sleepy rn :3 , might post a part 2 if anyone is interested bc im not done with the thoughts („• ᴗ •„)

camboy taeyo- GETS RAN OVER BY A TRAIN

my god my god my god

he'd sometimes use fleshlights n stuff like that but nothinggg would beat when hes fucking his hand n cums all over his toned abs („• ᴗ •„) n he'd tease his audience sooo much ! being all cocky n mostly in a dom mood ,, but the most fun streams of his r the ones where hes more subby :( begging n whining n trying sooo hard not to come too early bc being this vulnerable in front of an audience makes him more sensitive n turned on •v• camboy tyoungie i fucking love u thats it

and and and and

roommate!taeyoung who also works as a camboy to have some extra money to spend on himself . u dont know abt it , u just assume hes rlly loud n horny all the time - which, hey, u cant rlly blame him for it - but u do question if hes that loud bc he wants u to hear him ,, if only u knew how ur guess isn't that far fetched , taeyoung having to keep himself from moaning ur name everytime he streams, touching himself to the thought of u - on top of him or under him , anywhere , he doesn't care , just thinking abt u is enough . and if only he knew how u took an habit of touching urself at the same time, ur bed being conveniently against the wall confining with his room .. u dont even worry abt taeyoung hearing u , you pride yourself in being on the quieter side - you really aren't and taeyoung anxiously checks if his mic is picking up on ur sounds every single time he hears u . until one eventful day - while taeyoung is out at the gym or something - u realize oh shit , u r unbelievably horny n ur personal jerk off material isn't home ,, u r so desperate , nothing you find on twitter or even those shitty porn sites seems to do the job , it's almost like you've conditioned yourself to only feel good bc of taeyoung </3 at some point , doom scrolling ur twitter tl u come across an account u follow promoting their ,, streaming channel on some obscure website that sounds like a scam . no its definitely a scam . you've never had that much of an interest in this kind of content , but you figure at this point u could try anything to get rid of how unbearably horny u r . again, nothing of what you're seeing piques your interest, until u see the thumbnail of a specific vod from a few days prior. despite being darker, you can still realize the room looks eerily similar to yours - to taeyoung's. u shake ur head, giving yourself a few slaps for good measure and whispering to yourself to 'fucking snap out of it', there's no way you're so down bad for ur roommate u r starting to imagine him as one of these camboys. no way. but u still cant fight the urge to click on the video, maybe the resemblance to taeyoung is what can get u to finally feel good . you hurriedly put your oh so beloved noise canceling headphones on and turn the volume up. that's when your heart sinks and u freeze, hand stopping halfway inside your shorts bc holy shit that sounds a little too much like taeyoung, n u r now a hundred percent sure u saw those same bedsheets in his room four days ago - coincidentally the same day this was streamed, and yes thats his shirt, the one that always drives u insane bc he looks a little too good in it .... before u know it , you're on ur third vod of his , basically binge watching all of his past streams and on the verge of tears with how much you've been overstimulating yourself . you're so lost in it u dont realize taeyoung has come back home around the midst of 2nd video or so , and knows exactly what ur up to when he hears u moaning his name . poor boy is fighting the urge to just burst into your room , telling himself it wouldn't be morally right to do so - as if jerking off to the thought of his roommate while streaming or standing right by their door as he starts to slowly palm himself over his pants while listening to you getting off is any more decent ,,

this might stay ur little secret , both too shy to confront each other abt it ,, or maybe taeyoung will just have to wait for a repeat of that day to catch you red handed and finally get what he's been craving for weeks („• ᴗ •„)

#🍰 seongminiz !#🧇 crvt !#cravity hard hours #cravity smut #taeyoung smut #btw op on twitter deleted the video i feel miserable #(i literally downloaded it on my phone)

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draculagerard · 9 months

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unacceptable. i ADORE talking to you and seeing your on my dash/in my inbox

You're SOOO funny. like a broad range of humor imo. you're sometimes a silly goofy little guy, sometimes you're my friend teasing me (in a way that's never hurt my feelings!), sometimes you're a tired babysitter (cough, cough, randy's sticks). you get the beat that goes with humor and ur jokes always at the very least make me smile

you're SOOOOOO nice. not just to me. it makes me SOOOO happy to see you interact with other mutuals (or ur mutuals sometimes) because you're always super fun and sweet. and then when i'm in that seat i'm always super at eas because yeah this guy's not gonna like. be a dick :3. he's super nice actually! also this is like, normal and expected, but i feel like i can talk to you and change the subject when talking to you (which why is this important? it's just one of my insecurities and my irls aren't the best at letting me talk so that fact i feel alright with talking to you is rlly nice :3)

small mention that you're like super creative and skilled and you get colors and pacing and all that super well. ur art, ur amvs, hell ur theme rn are always BANGERS and i'm so happy to see them

i love when you ramble to me about any of your interests! even if you're telling me something that isn't particularity wild. maybe it's just be i adore listening in general but your way of talking (well, typing but. blah specifies don't matter) keeps my attention well and makes me happy to see you in my dms. and while i may bully you a bit for your interests they're always pretty uhmmmm enthralling? feels weird to use "interesting" to describe and interest because like yeah that's the point

as far as i know you're such a good person!!! not only because i like..agree w/ u about everything. but just bringing back the point of "sweet" with this but you just seem so kind!!! and very smart! i think you can be very media literate but also have fun with fanon and shit which i admire (i wonder why.......[looks at block list])

uhmm i don't mean to like. repeat myself but really the fact that i don't feel judged by you is fantastic. i rlly struggle with the idea that i'm annoying or like. "cringe" but like even if i didn't think you were like. also weird i think i still wouldn't feel judged uhm. in summary ur rlly nice and kind and funny and smart and i love seeing you on my dash and there's plenty of other things i can list if i gave myself more time to think but i've been ignoring the fact i'm hungry rn so cutting it short to eat. yadda yadda your great and i think you deserve a lot more in this world and so stop being mean to urself that's my friend that i'm fond of. blah. uhmm uhh derri already claimed kuromi so this is us

also other ppl are fond of u btw. i find it hard to believe that you don't make a lot of other people smile. also a tip!! try looking at yourself like you're not yourself y'know? i'm under the belief we're all always so mean to ourselves because it's easy to not feel guilty about it. but like if you were someone else and you called that person a friendless burden then you'd feel bad because nobody's a friendless burden y did you do that. y'know??????? also this is rambley because i'm hunger personified rn, bye bye :3

LOVE YOU HAZ…..

#I would give a long thoughtful response but this is like. so genuinely nice I’m rendered speechless….#read this three times I’m… aurghigh ….#god…. you’re so nicey this is so nice I’m emotional #haz #moose asks

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psycheterminal · 2 months

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Calliope and Roxy, possible post-canon discussion

Non-explicit discussion of intimacy and intercourse below and brief mention of alcohol addiction. Cut for length.

I haven't read any of their dialogues for quite some time, so apologies if their characterizations are a bit off!

CALLIOPE: does it ever bother yoU that well. we'll never be intimate? ROXY: what do u even mean haha ROXY: we like ROXY: cuddle every single day!! it is COMPLETELY wonderful. CALLIOPE: bUt that isn't hUman intimacy. we'll never... yoU know... do the deed? ROXY: oh, that. you mean. sex? CALLIOPE: yes, i mean that! well. we do roleplay it... ROXY: hmmmmm. so, let me make sure i understand what youre worried about: ROXY: youre worried that roleplay and cuddling ROXY: which is the most awesome thing ever ROXY: isn't enough for me? CALLIOPE: oh, i sUppose it soUnds silly now. nevermind, i'm jUst being stUpid.... U_U ROXY: u are wonderful and not even a little bit dumb at ALL ROXY: you remember how i mentioned that i grew up in another 'timezone' from jake and jane right CALLIOPE: oh yes, yoU did! yoU were raised separately from the rest of yoUr kind! ROXY: yep yep ROXY: the only other person in the WORLD was dirk and he was busy with jake stuff. ROXY: that and lots of troll robots who would have been a huge problem if they found me CALLIOPE: yoU mentioned that yoU are rather glad to not be in that sitUation anymore, many times! i am, too! ROXY: u are and always have been so so sweet ROXY: so i know that you consider yourself a girl but that gender for ur species is uh ROXY: negotiable and stuff on gender. CALLIOPE: close enoUgh! ^U^ ROXY: i find ever1 cute ROXY: *every1 ROXY: every time i see u again after being apart u take my breath away ROXY: with how much u amaze me just by being you ROXY: ur shy, ur not what my people call feminine but like ROXY: i only care about that to the extent that those things make u YOU ROXY: now prepare for this mind blowing revelation ROXY: i love cuddles. no surprise right? ROXY: but the idea of like. ROXY: being intimate with another human being makes me go like ROXY: mehhhhhhhhhhhhhh ROXY: maybe that doesn't make sense but like ROXY: i totally don't think about it 90% of the time CALLIOPE: bUt the other 10%? what about that? how does it coloUr your experiences? ROXY: i had to rely on old records of humans to understand how it worked ROXY: bcuz I'd never experienced those things and never met my mom ROXY: she died so long before we could even meet ROXY: so I couldn't ask her abt shit i was curious about ROXY: it's part of why i am such a badass hacker lol ROXY: but one thing from before the end was something called bambi lesbians ROXY: i don't think i need a label because they are LE DUMB ROXY: but they weren't interested in sex ROXY: my intimacy is my feelings! and the awesome cuddles ROXY: i think about it sometimes but like ROXY: its more that i am not opposed if i had the opportunity with a friend or partner so long as all involved were ok with it! ROXY: i am not repulsed just disinterested ROXY: you are enough calliope! CALLIOPE: i am enoUgh....? ROXY: yeah!!! we're two rad people enjoying our lives ROXY: that's all i really need ROXY: you talk to me and you treat me right ROXY: you came to me when you were feeling insecure and that is so amazing ROXY: my addiction was something i felt terrible abt sometimes and ROXY: it was HARD ROXY: not to get down on myself about it!!! ROXY: so i can understand feeling like shit about urself ROXY: so i am telling u ROXY: u are enough and i am enough ROXY: so long as we keep working at our relationship! CALLIOPE: thank you, roxy. i always appreciate yoU and what we have. i am so glad we finally got to meet. ROXY: so am i!!! let's get some more cuddling in bcuz you are the best cuddle partner a bambi bisexual lesbean can have!

#sorry I'm a homestuck #homestuck #calliope #hs calliope #roxy lalonde #fanfic #drabble #script #I was inspired by some real conversations and comments I've seen online

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revasserium · 5 months

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as a response to this ask: https://revasserium.tumblr.com/post/729580466551799808/but-in-the-meantime-i-love-love-love-childhood

(omg sorry this is so messy ahahah)

i get what you mean about reading being one of the biggest inspirations for writing. whenever i'm in a writing slump, i just pull out a fanfic or a book and i'll suddenly feel the urge to write again XD

and our planning process is surprisingly rather similar? i still like planning bc i like to be specific for foreshadowing and symbolism, but i agree that the story is sometimes... a thing of its own. i'll plan for things to be this way and while writing it just gets snatched out of my hands to become it's own things. it's struggle for me i suppose there's a lot of back and forth: i like my plans, but i can't deny that the story just wants to go elsewhere.

i also normally always start at the start of the story! just like you, i have the words play out in my head word for word, but i normally don't pen down these thoughts because i feel they're not refined. i will repeat them though, and when i sit down i use them as reference or a guide on the angle of my story. it's really nice to compare and see similarities in writing processes! i guess the charm of your work is the story's flow, and that is from how you write unrestrained by a plan. i like that style! >:3c

-- @anonymilk

in response to this ask: https://www.tumblr.com/revasserium/732542620437463040/how-have-you-been-anonymilk i’m doing fine!! i have gotten busier because of work. the most festive the holiday season, the more work for me :/ hahaha. but it’s been good!! although i might not have lots of energy to keep track of replies and reply myself, i do enjoy seeing u on my dash uwu this is soooo overdue, but how was your travels? did you mention where you went? are u comfortable sharing? i would love to travel… but it costs a lot too so :’) gotta work more first ahahahh. — @anonymilk !

cutting for length! :)

i wish i could still write like i used to -- and a part of me thinks i can, bc if i rly tried to force myself, i could just pick a rando prompt and like... write it. but the thing is -- i've got so little mental energy left after most days at work that i can barely work on the fics i DO wanna write u know?

and it's strange bc for the first time in my life, i feel my work literally impeding upon the things i like to do to a degree that im like ??? bruh wut.

not to the point where i'm tryna quit, bc like work pays, and it pays decently well, and for all i complain about it, i actually do love what i do u__u and that's rare enough as it is. but yeah, i really do wish it weren't so mentally taxing so i could have a bit more energy to write.

but yes! :) it's always nice to find someone who has a similar-ish writing process!!! to be like yEAH OMG!!! I DO THAT TOO! :D

now!! for the travel q!! i went to australia and new zealand, about a week in each, and it was so, so lovely!!!! it was so breathtakingly beautiful -- like truly, i didn't know the sky could be that blue or the water could be that clear.

and the wedding that we went to attend was beautiful -- there was drama (bc isn't there always) but it was nothing compared to all the good things that happened :). i was just so fucking tired after i got back LOL i needed vacay from my vacay ukno????

next year, i promised myself that i would travel more for myself, bc this year, i ended up traveling for a bunch of different weddings and engagements, and not !!! that i don't love that and am super happy for my friends!!! but like. it's different traveling for JUST urself vs traveling for someone else's wedding/engagement, ykno? so yeah u__u i think im gonna plan a trip to italy w/ my bf, and maybe one to japan with my mom :D we'll see!!!!

#i love traveling and i wish i got to do more of it #literal dream is just to be an uber rich housewife who gets to write novels in her free time and travel the world #🌧 raindrops

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satanfemme · 1 year

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im really trying to find a place in my spirituality/religion/personal philosophy or whatever as an excatholique. idk. i get that it takes time and effort to find a new place in the world. but right now really i just wanna smoke a fat blunt with ol luci downstairs. any advice?

honestly? my advice is that if right now u wanna smoke a fat blunt with luci, you should literally go ahead and do that (u know, metaphorically speaking lol). try it out! see if it fits! it might, or it might not, or it might feel good now and then bad in a few weeks/months/years -- and if that happens you can just try something else out instead. nothing wrt ur personal spirituality needs to be inherent, permanent, or serious.

letting urself experiment with different beliefs/paths is hard when you're raised catholic, but ime it's the only way you're gonna find a comfortable niche! just keep it no-pressure, low-stakes. because it is. genuinely. I 100% promise. despite what the church sometimes teaches, an all loving g-d will always forgive you and welcome you back if you change your mind later or if you wanna go back at any point. and this is just my personal opinion: but most deities are like that in general too.

being a human is so hard and confusing if you get too focused on the big picture. so for now, focus on this moment. pursue however you feel in this exact moment. then stay mindful. and when the moment changes, you may notice the way you feel changes too, and then you should pursue that instead. this includes taking a break when you want to take a break, or analyzing your beliefs through a psychiatric lens if you ever notice a pattern of distress.

stay open, too. read and learn from as many varying sources as you can. different religions, sects, teachers, philosophers, etc. and be critical of those sources. ask yourself, "why do they believe this? why do they want others to believe this? who does this benefit? who might this hurt?", as well as "if I followed these teachings, who would I be? would I be the person I want to be? would I be someone else? how would I benefit? how would others benefit? could this hurt me in any way? could this hurt others in any way?" thirdly, pay attention to the other people involved in whatever you're looking at, and ask, "are these the kinds of people I want to surround myself with? are these the kinds of people I want my unaffiliated friends, s/o, or family to associate with? how do they treat people with different beliefs? how do they treat me? what do they have to gain or lose from me joining them? would they be ok if I left later on?"

and on a serious note: learn the BITE model. cults are real, and prey upon questioning people. scientology, mormonism, and jehovah's witnesses are all cults and dangerous. in the left hand path, joys of satan is a cult. the church of satan and satanic temple are not cults (afaik) but deeply flawed/harmful in fairly covert ways. individual churches/groups within an otherwise harmless religious sect can also be cults, so don't necessarily trust people based on the seemingly-safe labels they advertise. also, relatedly, please please go out of ur way to actively research antisemitism, dog whistles, and antisemitic appropriation. these prejudices are unavoidable no matter what path you look at (excluding judaism itself, I'm assuming), so you're inevitably going to encounter them again and again (and most likely already have). don't contribute to that harm.

anyways, that's a lot to process but I hope it helps. I understand how difficult this can be, myself being an excatholic occultist/devil worshiper (who still holds loose ties to catholicism anyway cause fr this shit isn't serious and it's fun to mix-n-match). and btw if ur ever really craving xtianity but don't wanna put up with the shittiness of most xtian churches, universal unitarianism is generally pretty ok and openly leftist (and not strictly xtian either, but that still kinda depends on the individual church imo).

wishing u the best of luck!

#Anonymous

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berylgrace · 2 years

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pride.

i love pride. i love queer history and making sure we remember the trailblazers who came before us, the lives we lost, the lucky ones who made it against all odds, the protests and riots and fights. i love the celebration of queer lives and queer happiness and queer art like drag.

but there are things i struggle with too. i started to think that maybe i wasn't straight when i was 13, in 2016. at the time i sort of thought to myself that i was just saying that bc it was cool at the time, everyone was gay or bi, it was trendy. i didn't think much more on it, especially since i had never had a crush on anyone and thus had no evidence for being gay or straight either way. i remembering being heartbroken and horrified after the pulse shooting but i didn't think much of it, or felt like i was forcing it. i didn't feel any connection or community with the lives we lost, i wondered if i was just pretending to.

i stopped thinking about sexuality completely and didn't address it at all, even in my own mind, for years. i think i was maybe 16 or 17, so 2019-20, when i realised. i was in this weird sort of relationship w another queer person that was never defined, so we were never dating, strictly just friends but flirty and romantic and basically all of it without a name (this is no longer happening - for the best jfc). i realised i would never be straight, and despite being involved in queer culture, community and art for years by this point, i had a complete emotional breakdown like i had never experienced before.

i never labelled myself. i still haven't. i probably could, but i hate the idea of it. i hate all of it - the concept of coming out, having to tell people, people needing to know something that has nothing to do with them. i understand how it forms people's identities and experiences and i celebrate that completely and wholeheartedly, but it never has been and probably never will be my way. i won't come out. i can't come out. and i don't fucking want to. even queer isn't really a term i want to use to describe myself, but there's this desperation from all corners that u have to know for urself, even if u don't tell people yet. with this assumption that one day u will.

my family aren't homophobic. my sister is gay and my parents support them. my best friend is gay and trans. most of my friends are queer. it's not fear of judgement, at least i don't think so. it's just privacy. i want to be left alone.

this is all well and good except for the fact that one of my friends seems intent on figuring me out. she was on her bullshit back in like 2020, trying to subtly press my best friend to see if he knew (he does, but ofc didn't tell anything). and she's also one of my best friends but i don't want people knowing. it means nothing. only recently she's started up again, saying how she loves my "disregard" for it and "she's gay and not and there are not", making assumptions about me to another person while at the same time acknowledging my desire for privacy. speculating about me. i have never ever given her a label, never dated anyone, never had any crushes, and yet she tries to anyway.

it's just exhausting. and sometimes it's hard to enjoy pride when shit like this is going on. like - i'm not upset. at all, actually. i genuinely don't feel anything other than like, mild annoyance at the analysing and scrutiny of myself that clearly goes on when i'm not around. it used to bother me more but now ig i'm just kinda tired, in an eye roll "whatever" kind of way.

idk what the point of this is. just sucks that all stories are dramatic coming outs with supportive or scarily homophobic reactions, or life in the closet tragedies. some people are just in the middle. some people struggle or "hide" (hate that but whatever) for no good reason. it's not the prettiest pov ig.

#i just needed to get this out #will delete tmrw lol #txt

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havoc-bloom · 2 years

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Hi! Could I get a cookie run match-up?

Appearances: I'm a girl, quite short for being an adult haha( 4'11''), curvy, as you can see, you could describe me as a womanlet lol. I've long brown curly hair and brown eyes. I usually dress vintage, with brownish and warm colors, my style is in between cottegecore and light academia.

Sign: Gemini

Sexuality: asexual heteroromantic, tho I'm not extremely sex repulsed

MBTI type: INTJ

Personality: I don't think I'm easily approachable, mostly because I always look annoyed, but I swear I'm extremely easy going, don't let my bitch rest face deceive you. I guess I can be fun to be around, I like cracking jokes and trying to lighten the atmosphere, I'm also down to do any kind of activity if that means everyone will have fun. I also like to consider myself as kind, generous, I just like to help people; honest but not rude about it, a bit awkward, but I don't mind being this way, makes me cool and sexy (half jk/). Now for the bad traits: I have trust issues to the point where I can get a little paranoid( even tho sometimes I'm right about what my gut tells me🙄) and I have to ground myself a lot of times; this brings me to self isolate from time to time. I also happen to have low self-esteem and, while I'm healing and being more positive about myself, the path to self love is still long, but I'm sure I'll eventually get there!

What I like: I like goofing around with friends; I like making art, 'specially character design, and cooking! (Not to brag but I'm quite good at both >:3c) I'm also down to learn anything trivial: the economics studies I've been doing for the past year? Hell no, I don't know crap, but I sure do know who's more similar between 2 clones and omozigote twins. I like to sunbathe till I'm fried like an egg

Love language: words of affirmation and quality time

What I would love in a relationship: I'm not quite sure honestly, I go well with different personalities, but one thing for sure would be being with someone who's quite open with me! I want to have clear communication, someone who knows their needs and isn't afraid to show'em; someone who's shamelessly themself! Also someone who doesn't easily give up on anything, wether on dreams, tasks or people.

Forgive me for writing so much, I kinda got carried away! Take you sweet time and most importantly have fun! Surprise me! (Also forgive me for any typos or mistakes, English isn't my first language)

Hey there! You want a surprise, huh? Well, based on the info you gave me, I pair you with...

Milk Cookie!

Surprised? This guy will never give up on you, no matter what! He isn't afraid to just be himself around others, and will stop at nothing to achieve his dreams!

Don't worry if you're short! Due to Milk's odd buffness and his height, he can carry you on his shoulders!

"See? Now you're tall, just like me!"

Total goofball-teddy-bear energy, loves making jokes! Finds you super funny too!

He's dabbled in cooking before, and though he's not too skilled, he's perfectly willing to learn! Give him some advice, and he can make a killer tres leches cake!

Also learned about both cooking and art from Latte Cookie! He helped make some designs on the top of her lattes. If you help him out a little, he could make some great art! It just takes a bit of practice, but thankfully he's up to the challenge!

"Well, you never know if you're good at something until you try! That's why I try as many things as possible; I might find something I like!"

THIS MAN IS SO ADORABLE LIKE- :'D

Of course, he loves learning new things! Tell him all sorts of fun facts pls, he has a journal full of random facts he's learned through his adventures!

HE WILL DO EVERYTHING HE CAN TO MAKE YOU FINALLY LOVE URSELF HOMIE, he's the most supportive guy ever (and is probably better than most real life people at giving advice lol)

All in all, he's just a nice, cuddly guy to be around! Hope you liked this! <3

#milk cookie #cookie run kingdom #cookie run #match-ups #crk #milk cookie run

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luvring · 2 years

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hiii so. I want to try writing for the last legacy #gang but. I’m afraid of messing up their characters hdjdfhbfb do you. have any advice on this🧍

OMGG....i am so honoured rn. that is so exciting ok,, ok ok ok i can give u. what i do and little notes i keep in my head

general

read other people's hcs if you're stuck !! even if it wasn't the same prompt it might help u get a better idea of the Energy Needed

also like,,, if they remind me of certain characters i'll even look at other hcs from different media. (haikyuu) rime works(ish?) when you look up tsukishima ,, sage works when i look up atsumu,, etc. in case there isn't enough/the right LL content for you

you can even like, look at memes,, if you just scroll the LL twt or ig. they might help too

i take screenshots of their dialogue so i can easily look back :]

looking at the dialogue choices might help bc they'll emphasize important parts of their character (and how they could diverge)

if Ur like Me and never remember what happened ever,, i fr just keep their wiki pages open. there isn't a lot of plot info on there (literally none for the m3) so i stare at the cgs/trivia/profiles and Hope For The Best.

if ur really stuck there's no harm in asking for someone else's opinion ! if u don't have anyone to ask u can ask Me :100: /srs

and tbh it's ok if u change ur mind about things,, i've said stuff and disagreed later because i saw someone else's hcs but that's just life sometimes. we accept (cringe) and move on

felix

more formal than usual. going > gonna , allow > let (sometimes) (my thing of him being 1/2 thesaurus searches away from casual)

he's easily flustered (he's whipped) but he Can tease,, just maybe after a few seconds of glitching

All of them would do whatever mc needs but i see felix as especially a comforter when they're upset (might panic at first)

route has a lot about growth and acceptance/forgiveness

for angst: isn't listened to, insecurities of his skills/interests, fear of being alone again

sage

tease,, obviously. innuendos, jokes, smirks, etc

ideas of protection/love have roots in him being dangerous + not being worth it (e.g. telling mc they should have stayed on earth)

distractor + eventual solver, one to threaten to fight

route has themes of allowing yourself to be vulnerable, choosing kindness in the face of rage/violence

for angst: not being able to protect mc, mc realizing that he was right in his fears before leaving, finally breaking down and being vulnerable

anisa

tbh. i'm still unsure of her characterization myself i speedran her route and need to go through it again But.

whenever i think i need to loosen up i remember rivath (running to touch things, eating soap </3, kissing in public, etc.)

>> her relationship with mc lets her do these things—they let her relax and be,, more chaotic,, than when she's on duty. girlboss

would be a comforter + listener i think

her route has a lot with learning to trust yourself and figuring out what you want/what you think is right

for angst: doing the wrong thing, not doing enough, fear and insecurities surrounding her father/what she did

rime

asshole /lh a lot of snarky/teasing replies and fighting

when you ask him to do something he's the guy who says no while doing it. he's going to help, just not (always) easily

redemption/lover arc rime is capable of being gentler/softer than he is now (e.g. him with felix in sage ch.13)

comforter/solver . a hot take? i don't know. i see him as listening and offering his opinion while reassuring, willing to hug/cuddle

no route. but ideas of choosing to be better, finding out who you are and where you fit

for angst: fear of being left behind, insecurities of his place with the M3 and MC, regret over his past and what he does to them, playing with the idea of him Not having a redemption

at the end of the day just trust urself !! even without actively recalling specific details, just playing the game and having a general Vibe gets u farther than u might think. I live/write off guesses and vibe checks alone. i am shocked to this day at people agreeing with and enjoying my posts 🤨

also. prioritize yourself and your own enjoyment . you are doing this for the 3 F's. fun, fantasies, Free. if you want to take a break then you Take A Break. i'm cheering u on i'm sure u will be great :muscle:

#🧾nia.answers #<3 anon

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smutty-ki113r · 3 years

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ok show u an emoji? hm ...( •̀ .̫ •́ )✧ that one maybe? he has a really goofy grin <3 omg u think he was serious?? 0w0 i am known for being oblivious when ppl like me... i didn't notice that a past classmate was trying to get with me for a whole year until another classmate pointed it out-

YEAH?! u don't feel that? i am a very big smell person. i connect alot of things with certain smells. i use at least 3 different smelling things on my body at all times cuz it makes me happy. but if i have a partner i love sorrounding myself with their smell so i smell like them :>

yeah if u two don't get together imma beat bens ass. i hope u r crying happy tears （︶^︶）

i did make him a sandwhich don't worry lol. i was making sandwhiches for toby cuz jeff and toby r trying to beat bens highscore at some game. they forget to eat and drink-

i am sorry what?? wife me up?0-0 uh not sure abt that...i would rather be his personal servant than his wife-

i usually shift everyday once or twice but sometimes only every second or third day. for me it's like five minutes here are like 20 or 30 minutes there but i know it's different for a lot of ppl. i shift pretty often cuz irl only my best friend knows abt my gender. i don't feel comfy with outing myself since some family members r really against lgbt+ and whenever i try to explain it to them they don't even wanna understand. i don't want ppl to fight because of me. and when i shift all of them accept and respect me for who i am and it feels so good.

dude i actually think i stopped simping for ben because i am like friends with him now and i realized we wouldn't make a good couple. we basically just don't have any chemistry in that sense. AND you'll be his number 1!! more confidence pls >:[ my otp!

yes i do read him the fics. yes i like doing it hehe. i mean he reads me the jeff and toby ones <3 just friends being friends. no but ben thinks it's interesting what ppl think he's like in bed-

smut fanfics abt urself? man that's dope :> if i had that i'd just think i am so hot!

also; my binder arrived yesterday :> i almost cried happy tears when i unpacked it! i and today my stick and poke set arrived which is also hella dope owo

this is a lil vent; if u don't care feel free to skip: i had a driving lesson today and my driving instructor was super mean today. basically she just told me i was doing everything to slow but she was personal abt it... she said stuff like "r u this codependend in every part of life? do i need to tell u everything u have to do?" i literally cried a tiny bit while driving. she didn't even notice. i hope she isn't this mean next time. this never happened before...maybe she just had a bad day?

anyways i love u <3

-🃏

Thats such a cute emoji- I DO in fact think he was being serious.

Don’t beat ben’s ass please- happy tears YES but like 5 minutes after they’re sad.

YOURE SO NICE TO THEM!! Adorable- PERSONAL SERVANT??!!! OML-OUGYHVBJUIGYU it’s so nice that you get to be yourself in your shifting world. Well i support you <3 and I think you’re wonderful regardless. OMNG AND a stick and poke set??!!1 you need to let me know what you do! Also im so happy you got a binder!!

No, absolutely unacceptable. I don’t think you should be treated in that way ever, you are not stupid and you are not slow. Thats rude and she should be fired. Don’t invalidate yourself and then validate those who abuse you, i used to do that a lot.

(Sort of tw: my emotions ew. You dont need to read this next part but i just do wanna get it out because if i dont i might fall down and die) like literally, its not important at all. Just skip this.

Well yeah. Sad tears i guess. Like I absolutely adore the thought of me and ben being together but oh Jesus here we go again. I dont see any reason as to why anyone would like me. Im sort of the person you stay with a couple months of your life at the most, and then leave because im too much, or just disgusting i guess. I don’t really know. Its so hard for me to see anyone liking me. I mean i like me but i feel like nobody else does. Ive been put in second place so many times in my life, because of my body, or who i am, or what i am. I dont know.

I hate devaluating myself like this because I know in less than a day it’ll go back to me thinking im the best person in the world. But when im alone, or when i realize that im alone I can’t help but feel this way.

Like., why would anyone like me when im like this? When there’s so many other people out there who are probably better than me. Ill never be the best at anything.

And i hate the thought of falling deeper in love because what then? What if i do end up falling for him so hard that being alone would kill me. And when he abandons me, because everybody eventually does. What happens then.

Fuck i hate my life so bad. It’s like I can never be happy and I try to tell myself that I do deserve happiness, especially after what ive gone through but then every time i think im getting happy it stops.

I want to love him so bad. But why, why would anyone ever love me?

Anyway. I love you!!!1

#🚹

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iraprince · 4 years

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do you have any tips for someone who's very codependent but not very successful in seeking out relationships? this isn't meant to be a "bloeey blooey tfw no gf" ask, it's more like, do you have dating tips, tips for dealing with touch starvation etc? I have a small group of friends but even if the situation wouldnt be what it was they're not very affectionate lol

tbh all my advice abt stuff like this kind of boils down to “be yourself” which sounds SO fucking trite but what i mean is like.......... i spent sooo much time in other relationships before my marriage feeling like i was holding myself hostage. like, feeling like i was walking on a tightrope above a pit of lava labeled “GETTING DUMPED” and if i made one single misstep everything would fall apart and i would plummet headfirst into the life-ending terror of Rejection, spending every waking moment feeling like “i have to be Perfect or else this person will Discover that i suck and throw me away”

if that’s how you view relationships it will not work! that’s not sustainable! a certain level of anxiety abt connecting with others is inevitable but i spent a long time conflating “normal, unavoidable anxiety that comes from dating while mentally ill” with “literally living every moment of a relationship in fear of fucking it up” and the latter isn’t normal or workable.

so when i say “be yourself” what i actually mean is you HAVE to be able to relax around anyone you’re trying to -- god this sounds so fucking stupid lmao but around anyone you’re trying to “court.” it cannot be a constant performance and i didn’t realize how MUCH i was performing until i met my wife and suddenly i was like oh my god i’m not constantly worried she’s going to dump me if i slip up and do something annoying. i don’t constantly worry that i like her more than she likes me. a serious relationship should be a space that feels like a retreat, where u feel safe and relaxed, and even a casual dating relationship should be a space where you’re having fun at the bare minimum. if you feel more geared up and tense and stressed around the person you’re trying to build a relationship with than u do elsewhere something needs to be worked out or rethought or shuffled around imo.

also like.... idk i hate shit like “u have to love urself before u can love others UwU” or other platitudes that basically sound like “stop being mentally ill before u start dating” or whatever, but i do think there’s measured, nuanced truth in the concept of needing to work on urself first. like obviously i’m not saying “everything has to be fixed first!!!!’ but if i had tried to date my wife right when i met her, i wouldn’t have been ready. i wouldn’t have been the kind of person who could have been a loving, supportive partner to her, and i couldn’t have been the kind of person who could accept love and support from her in a healthy way, either. i think sometimes if you’re struggling again and again to make stuff work or to view yourself as someone who can make things work that can be a sign that more needs to be done irt your relationship with yourself, bc when i improved my relationship with myself it became SO much easier to make romance work out.

unfortunately re touch starvation ive got nothing lol all my experiences w trying to deal w it have either been unhealthy/ill advised or have been just me gritting my teeth and dealing w it

#Anonymous

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kyunsies · 3 years

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madch madch <3 hello love!

how are you my love :D YAY I'M SO HAPPY YOUR COLD IS GONE OMG!! Do you feel properly better now? the sleep nose cloggs is the worst, i'm super glad it's gone for you.

YES for a whole month - like it makes me miss summer holidays when i was a kid and you could take the time off like that. do you ever feel like you didn't appreciate that stuff like when you were a kid? like being able to have long sleeps and stuff or just running about the mall with no consequence? we really do have the same situation going on! i just want to be able to buy my mum a better house and a better car and nicer holidays and stuff? like that small stuff which sounds a bit boring but like, idk that means more to me than the overly flashy stuff? like i'd love to be a mum one day but seeing how much my mum does sometimes i'm like... IDK if I could hack it you know?

ah wow ok! my school i really get what you say about catholic guilt as it's super similar from my cultural influences as well? YES like, it's bad to think too well of yourself, or just that you shouldn't do it? or you're gonna end up inviting bad things if you do think too much of yourself? i get really confused about it sometimes. like - almost like there's a difference between self love and thinking too well of yourself? and i can appreciate myself without ever thinking i'm too good at something etc? does that make sense? idk i'm worried about self love it if means it makes my ego bad and over arrogant and all that stuff? I GET YOU tho - it is that line between contentment and like feeling yourself to the point it's ... ick? it's hard isn't it?

THAT FACT STEALING TOILET PAPER WAS YOU USING BAD LANGUAGE omg do you see what i mean you are just so so so so pure of heart and sweet and thank you for being so kind <3 are you looking forward to going back to uni in some ways? or is it all general *internal screaming*? remember you're mega and amazing <3

omg we literally had a HUGE HEARTWAVE to the point where I have so many bites everywhere - i'm glad you've had a bunch of sun but YAY TINY TINY SQUAD!!!!!!! I AM 5'1" so yay to us being tiny together <3 I am always the tiny one too! i used to hate it but i like my height more now - and like the fact i can fit into kids stuff on sale? or like shoe sizes not being a problem? but then sometimes the sizing is a bit weird like you said before! YOU GET IT WITH THE BF JEANS. It is a neverending quest RN. I've figured out the size I can really get for them but so few stores make it :/ we will see how this saga unfolds. do you lampshade a lot with clothes? i find i always end up doing that even if i don't mean to haha XD

OKAY SO JO MALONE I like the smell of pomegrante noir but IDK if I'd wear it but the lime and basil is another fave of mine. I just really really don't like musky smells I'm with you with the citrus! like, stuff that reminds me of summer and fresh stuff? musk makes me feel like i'm walking into like a noughties teen clothing store i just can't hasjdakshd. like i hate lynx smells? WHY DO BOYS WEAR IT?

AHHHH OMG ok mutual blue moon love YES HELLO <3 <3 <3 I ADORE lofi jazz garage I honestly die/simp for that sound. like they dabbled a bit more with those vibes in OOAK and that's why I loved the new album so much I guess? just so so so beautiful. i just wanna drown in like the sounds of moonlight and suggestions of other things by candlelight or long city drives? does that make sense? ugh LOVE IT. getting up in my feels here hahahajsdkhasda

YAY HI TO YOUR MOM <3 I hope she's having a beautiful beautiful day too and that's getting rest as well! never worry about getting back to me late, I know you're so busy and that's always okay, love you lots and lots <3 <3 <3

-💥xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

MY BEST PAL <33 hello my sweet, how have u been doing these days? i know i must sound like a record on repeat, but i miss you all the days that i don't hear from you, i'm always thinking about how you are doing ;____;

but YES after like ,,,,,,2 and a half weeks of being sick with the cold i am FINALLY over it :') it's not so much the stuffy nose during the daytime that annoys me it was the freaking clogged nose at night for the love of GOD i hate breathing with my mouth open it's so gross ;___; and sore throats ......... honestly i wouldn't wish a sore throat on my worst enemy lol like i'd rather have the flu for 2 days than a sore throat for a whole week ldkfjsdkf i'm such a baby <3

about being on holiday as a kid LOL IT WAS !!!!! the absolute best time !!! i know at some point we need to be functioning human beings in society lol but honestly at the age of like 13 where ur too young to work but u can't drive yourself anywhere ?? it's the best time (besides the driving part lol) bc you literally do not have one ounce of responsibility it's so great ;____; it's good to work and help ppl but i miss that too ....... and about our experiences with our single moms !!! pls this is all i want for her lol ; like u said nothing overly flashy but once i'm established i would like for her to live comfortably without being at the hands of someone else so i wouldn't mind like buying her a nice apartment ;____; when she was younger she traveled all the time and once i was born she coudn't do that with me bc she simply didn't have the money so she's always telling me after i graduate we should take a little trip to europe or go out west :( i think that would be so great :(((

OH GOOD OLD CATHOLIC GUILT LOL listen ..... there are a lot of things that the catholic church has done in the past that i don't agree with at all and stuff but ;____; i'm still grateful in some aspects bc my moral compass is like . a super big part of my life and it guides me to lead me away from decisions that aren't the best for me lol and i'm really grateful again for my mom for sending me to catholic school all these years :') and i think it's good to have this sense of humbleness (i hate ppl that are so boastful about themselves like truly no one cares sdjfslkf) but i do agree that catholic guilt can sometimes be a hinderance like i keep on saying i wish i had at least one ounce of self dignity SDLKFJ idk like u said it's a fine line between being humble and having no self worth :') i guess at the end of the day u need ppl surrounding u who make u feel like u are worth something and that it's okay to think positively about urself <3

honestly babe no ,,,,,, i'm not looking forward to going back to my final year of uni at all ;____; i don't know when i got like this but nursing school has literally scarred me to the point where i'm so anxious to even finish this year :( the ICU, my preceptorship, exams, finding and landing a job successfully before i graduate ???? i want it to all be over with so quickly but i'm so nervous for the future ahead of me ;____; will i get to where i am meant to be ???? i'm going to sOB IM NOT READY FSKDJFDS .............................

YAY TINY SQUAD LOL SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS !!!!!!! everyone on here is like boo hoo i'm 5'3 and im like ?????? ur inching near normal height shut up ?? SDKFJ :') truly shopping is so hard literally u can kill pants every fitting u perfectly unless u hem them and omg ??? pls explain to me what lampshading is LOL I HAVE NEVER HEARD THAT TERM BEFORE ?? :o !!!!!!!!! but also yes almost all of my sneakers are kids shoes LOL JOKES ON TALL PPL WE CAN GET THEM FOR CHEAPER <3

and about jo malone !!!!!!!!!!! the lime and basil one i've had my eye on it omg !!!!!!! bc i love love the smell of basil :) i'm actually visiting my grandparents this weekend and we are going to the mall so i'm going to finally pick up a new scent !!! i've literally had the one i told u about for 2 years LOL but i also agree everyone loves musky scents for some reason but i don't lsdkfjs i feel like those heavy scents "weigh me down" ????? do u feel that way too? it's hard to explain :')

ALSO OMG OKAY you are my blue moon ride or die now <3 have never met a mbb yet who loves blue moon as much as i do LOL it's just *mwah* perfection ........... absolute perfection like it fits all moods its fresh its lowkey it's perfect and YES YES i felt heaven kinda had the same vibe ??? not so much the dark garage jazz sound but more of the light and airy garage jazz sound LKDFJS i know that sounds dumb but it's lighter and happier but has that same lofi sound i'm obsessed with <3

okay bubbie but YEAH mom and i are healthy now we are in good spirits and we are hanging in there !! again i'm sorry for getting back so late hun really i always want to respond right away but like i always say quality over any short answer hhhh <3 i hope u have a lovely rest of the week if i don't hear from u soon okay? always sending love and hugs xxxxxxxxx !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3

#asks #💥 anon

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manggaetteokkie · 4 years

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i mean honestly, i am a bit curious about your thoughts about jikook, but i don't think it's necessary or something u should be forced to do in order to be "approved" by nameless internet users. just say what u are comfortable with, if it's clearer clarification, then go for it, if u don't feel it is necessary, then don't feel pressured. remember that it's ur blog and that "proving urself" isn't something u have to do

First of all, whoever you are anon, I love you ❤️

While I’ve said the same words “it’s your blog/account, you don’t have to cater to others or prove anything” to others, it can be a lot harder to apply to myself sometimes. I’d like to minimize the amount of hate but I also know it’s pretty much wishful thinking given how passionate internet strangers can be lol

Tbh I can handle curiosity cause I understand the desire to just know about something, but I’ve gotten quite a few asks that were really quite pointed and it made me question if something was wrong.

Anyways, to get to the heart of the matter, no, I do not think Jikook are secretly married and are currently raising 2 kids and a dog and have really hot sexy times. The possibility of it being “real” isn’t the only aspect of their relationship that appeals to me, which I think I’ve made quite clear before, but I’m also not saying that the possibility is zero simply because they’ve never said anything so I’m not about to claim anything either. And no, I don’t just ship it as some kind of fucked up fetish.

And that’s pretty much it? I’m happy to satisfy any additional curiosities should you have any that I am able to answer.

#thanks for the ask!#bangtan #bts #jimin #jungkook #jeongguk #jikook #kookmin #anon #anonymous #answered #if you’re gonna be rude #don’t worry #I’ll just delete your ask so that it never sees the light of day #if my opinion personally offends you in any way #the best solution is to block me and forget my blog exists #don’t waste your time fighting me and take that time to go consume your preferred media #best solution for all involved

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earthangel · 5 years

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Devoshunn

devotion: how reliant are you on other people for your own happiness?

well given how unhappy i was last year when i had no friends & how happy, litcherally filled w happiness i am this year now that i not only have friends but best friends, i'd say a whole lot jshsjs

& yk what? i'm not gonna apologize for it! i see so many ppl say how u should b self-reliant for ur happiness, how u should b independent etc, & if u feel fulfilled on ur own, more power 2 u but relying on other ppl isn't a weakness for some, it's strength! opening urself up, allowing urself 2 b stripped down & analyzed in front of ppl so that u can have a chance at them saying "i not only see you, but i understand, accept, need & love you all the same" takes so much energy & courage! i don't like feeling or being alone, i need physical & emotional presence in my life & it's ok if ur the same! why should i distance myself from what gives me joy & courage 2 live my life? why should you? why is companionship seen as a proof of weakness, sometimes?

i think we should all just keep on being brave so that we all find the right people someday; the world is filled w soulmates & yours won't find u if u close urself off! this sounds more dramatic than it should be, but i'm going w it: if ur someone asking urself why ur so lonely, whether u try ur hardest or not 2 find ur soulmate family, this is ur sign 2 keep going. keep going, keep loving openly w/o shame, keep opening urself up bc i KNOW u will find what ur looking for. if i did, why can't u?

i was in ur place last year, & little did i know how much things could change in only a few months. i wish i'd read sth like this last year, or the years before that, for that matter, so i hope that this resonates w someone. i ❤️ u

thank u for the ask flower, & sorry for the long answer!! 🌸

send me asks abt love?

#asks #anon #long post #edit: also im not assuming ur the lonely person anon jshsj!! im just talking 2 whoever may feel that way!!#as u can see i kinda glt off track lol #got*

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starrysamu · 3 years

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i am!! i hope u are too <3 <3 nah wht you said totally makes sense. i was debating just reblogging and adding my thoughts but i was like hngnrng. bUT. you're right! we talked a lil about it about how it's hard to make a reader insert let anyone put themselves into it but how do you do that w/out making it bland and just boring. giving MC a personality + motivation makes it more appealing and makes u want to root for the MC yk? even if we dont agree w mc's decisions,,, (1/3)⭐️

+ but it's similar to how people relate to characters in tv shows or movies and that's why i know some of my friends read shipfics is cus they see themself in one of the characters anyway soooo. there's definitely 3rd person reader inserts out there. i have some for other fandoms but i looked at them and holy shit THEY'RE BAD. not cus it's in 3rd person (??? maybe???) they're just bad lol. but i keep my oc work/original work in 3rd just cus i def prefer writing it. (2/3)

+ as a reader myself too tho im fine with anything for the most part alsjdflsjf. BUT NO ur head isn't far up ur ass you are FINE. y/n's a character in and of themself and should be treated as such or else it's just not a character, or a "version of me" i want to read about yk? n e way. i realize now maybe i shouldve just uh. reblogged w my own comments cus i have more thoughts and also my asks on other blogs have been getting eaten ):<

+ ,,, next time im just gonan reblog cus i have more thoUGHTS. there are a few writers i like reading their reader inserts in 1st and a few others i like reading in 3rd. and a few others who give their MCs so much personality but i love them. i see myself in them but i still see them as their own character and it's just. ARGH. i think anything is possible but people are picky and they definitely have their preferences which is fine and understandable! but yeah

yeah i definitely think like an exciting mc is better than being able to put myself in their shoes. but that’s not to say like i don’t wanna make it as accessible as possible like that’s the point of reader-insert anyways. and it’s like fun sometimes to put urself in mc’s shoes too idk

omg u brave soul. i’m still trying to figure out a way to successfully pull off third person with a reader insert. i haven’t done too much thinking about it yet but the ideas i have right now would just lead me to making an oc i think ..... idk i still wanna figure out ways to make it self insert bc third pov is so much fun

and LMAOO omg if it’s not a hassle for u, this is definitely not a hassle for me. love talking to u either way!!! u always offer me opinions which is nice

and yeah like i definitely have pieces i like to read in all sorts of povs like idk ... it’s definitely personal preference at the end of the day for sure

#much to think about my now my brain is fully saturated i think #i keep repeating myself in all of these asks HSHHSHSJD #also do u want me to tag ur name now or would u prefer to stay on anon ?#⭐️ anon #remy cooks

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