#sorry for not making sense i literally slept all day and it's 5pm already

[whyissupernaturaltrending]

there are two kinds of people

#there's people who just want peace and revel in tye recent silence #and then there's the ones who never lose hope (or the fear) #sorry for not making sense i literally slept all day and it's 5pm already #spn trending asks #just wanted to share some asks because i love them

[felicityfiction]

i listened to taylor swift and wanted to write a thing. woosang from ateez because their friendship is so precious!! this was written in like an hour. the grammar is bad and the tenses are alll over the place and theres nothing even resembling STRUCTURE but it’s 3am and i needed catharsis!

Wooyoung realises. Maybe a little bit too late.

the classic childhood best friends trope that i love because i think that the best kind of love develops slowly, and not all at once.

“The last time you saw me is still burned in the back of your mind”

Wooyoung glared at his phone, desperately wringing his hands together. pick up, pick up. fuck

the call went to voicemail. wooyoung dropped his face into his hands, pressing his palms into his eyes as hard as he could, breathing turning ragged. where are you where are you come back

he knew he had no right to demand anything at this point. this was his fault. but an eerily silent group chat sent chills down the back of his spine and left regret clawing at the back of his throat. i didn’t mean it.

he waited for a moment, then picked up his phone from the table. he scrolled down to his latest chat, rereading the messages that had already imprinted themselves onto the back of his eyelids, haunting him, taunting him.

me: god, san, please. just tell me where he is, if he’s alright.

san: it’s not my place to say anything. i can’t speak for him.

me: that’s bullshit. he’s avoiding me, not you. not all of you.

san: not the point

me: none of you are on my side.

san: how can we be? did you hear yourself last night, woo?

me: i get it i fucking get it. i was an asshole. i’m trying to make it right

san: i don’t know that you can.

the scene blazed across wooyoung’s memory, hot and painful. it was all clenched fists, parted lips and wide eyes full of-

of what, he didn’t even know. a mix of sadness, disappointment and regret.

the worst part was the lack of anger. his best friend had a temper shorter than anyone else he had ever met, but anger was easy. anger could be dispelled with time, breathing, and wooyoung’s self proclaimed irresistible charm.

wooyoung got scared when he saw emotions he didn’t recognise, not even after 10 years of friendship.

and because wooyoung was a coward, he pretended that he couldn’t see, and let his best friend walk out his front door to god knows where. that was a week ago. and in the span of that week, wooyoung spiralled. he was grasping at straws, trying to fix the situation.

nothing worked. his best friend had wiped himself off social media and gone radio silent on every messaging app. the number that he memorised like the back of his hand went straight to voicemail, every single time. the worst part was his house. it felt cold and barren, without the familiar voice trailing from the living room when wooyoung woke up.

wooyoung was missing something that he didn’t know he had.

—

“you gave me all your love and all i gave you was goodbye”

love.

wooyoung believed in love just as much as the next person. he was a clingy extrovert who thrived off attention. he had grown up with hugs and kisses from his mom, the occasional girlfriend, and hoards of his classmates in school that vied for his attention. jung wooyoung was the epitome of lovable.

jung wooyoung didn’t know how to love.

rather, he didn’t understand that love came in different forms. love could come from the most withdrawn, silent individual. you just needed to know where to look, beyond the physical affection and vocal admiration.

jung wooyoung couldn’t sense it.

not in the “tell me about your day” that always popped up when he ended dance practice at 8pm, exhausted and cranky but always ready to complain about every single thing that had ticked him off.

not in the magical cups of coffee that appeared on his school desk the day of exams, sometimes with a little post it note. “you got this”

not in the silent presence that was by his side watching him play video games with someone else. the presence that worked mutely in his kitchen, greeting wooyoung with a dinner that he never asked for, but was somehow always what he wanted. the presence that never uttered anything to ask for wooyoung’s attention, seemingly content with just being next to him.

jung wooyoung was a fool.

buried under his covers, he clamped his hands against his ears, pressing as hard as he could,as if he could drown out his own voice sounding in his mind.

are you out of your mind? he heard himself say, over and over again. this isn’t a good prank, man.

then silence. the silence that was always comfortable and reliable, suddenly turned suffocating and tense. it was as if a barrier had erected itself between him and the person he thought he knew like the back of his hand

again, those eyes. the eyes that conveyed everything his impassive face didn’t. shining with mirth when wooyoung lost a game, dripping with fondness when wooyoung danced on stage,blazing with irritation as he shoved wooyoung away from him if he was disturbing his studying.

blank, distant eyes. wooyoung felt his stomach drop, the same sensation that he felt

at that very moment, like he lost something very important that he couldn’t get back.

—

“so this is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you saying i’m sorry for that night.”

wooyoung had had enough. all his friends wouldn’t give him a straight answer to a very simple where is he?

wooyoung was nothing if not stubborn. he was going to find him, and fix everything. he didn’t know how, but he was going to do it.

frankly, it was almost a miracle that they hadn’t seen each other in two weeks, not even by accident. it was like he was going out of his way to avoid the places in campus that he knew wooyoung was going to be at, as if he memorised wooyoung’s timetable and classes and oh

he memorised wooyoung’s timetable, classes and practices. wooyoung stilled, feet stopping beside an empty classroom as he stared blankly at the empty hallway in front of him. classes were starting, and wooyoung was supposed to be in his European History lecture, but he literally could not care less about world war 2 at this moment.

how had he never noticed?

he was always slouched against a locker when wooyoung ended a 6pm economics lecture, whining for food and sleep. always outside the dance practice room hidden in a far block on campus at 10pm on fridays and sundays, with a bottle of water and wooyoung’s favourite ice cream. he always knew when wooyoung’s exams were, and made it a point to appear after every paper, ready to take wooyoung out for chicken. as a celebration if he did well, as a consolation if wooyoung was ready to burst into tears.

always there,without fail. it was the perfect summary of their friendship for the past decade,really.

and wooyoung would be damned if he let that slip through his fingers.

walking with a flame of newfound determination, he wandered through the school until he arrived outside the science labs. as an Arts student, he was never here. perhaps because he was never the one waiting. never reciprocating.

but the large white doors of the biology labs seemed daunting to him, even as he came to a halt in front of one with a plaque reading “anatomy lab”.

anatomy practical, 5pm. block D, level 3.

that was what he found after searching up the timetable of the medical students in his year.

the clock ticked closer to 630pm, when the class would be released. wooyoung tried to use the remaining moments to compose himself. he wasn’t going to throw a tantrum, he was here to apologise. he couldn’t start with why the fuck have you not talked to me in two weeks you bastard.

he wasn’t the bastard. wooyoung was. he was prepared to start with hey, i’m sorry. can we please talk?

but then the doors swung open, and students in lab coats filed past him. some looked at him curiously, and some waved, asking about a party happening this weekend. wooyoung just nodded and smiled, chest tightening, body bracing, like he was ready to be slapped.

and a metaphorical slap had never hurt as much before.

black nike shoes screeched to a halt metres away from him. the same worn shoes that had a permanent place in the shoe rack in front of wooyoung’s door.

wooyoung was staring, and he forgot how to speak.

he couldn’t recognise the person with swollen eyes and messy hair standing in front of him. his best friend was always impeccably neat, something that wooyoung constantly teased him about.

now, he looked like he hadn’t slept in days. maybe two weeks. he looked at wooyoung as if he was going to lunge forward and sock him in the stomach.he looked at wooyoung with fear.

his lips clamped shut, while wooyoung struggled to get out the words he practiced. “i-“

he ran. wooyoung could only watch as his best friend bolted past him, barely grazing his shoulder as he fled. it still felt like a slap to the face. wooyoung was rooted to the spot, his blood felt like lead, he couldn’t move-

“if you don’t go after him, i will personally destroy you.” seonghwa glared at him, taking the place of the boy that ran, but substantially closer to wooyoung. he poked a finger into wooyoung’s chest, sighing loudly.

“he refuses to leave his house except for class. he won’t talk to anyone. he won’t go for his drone flying club or whatever the fuck he participates in. he’s broken, wooyoung, and we can’t fix him.” only you can

“fix him. fix the both of you.”

—

“if we loved again, i swear i’d love you right.”

wooyoung stood outside apartment number 4B, and his heart ached at how familiar it was. he was always welcome, but now it felt as if it was an impenetrable fortress that would swallow him whole.

he had nothing. no food, which he always used to appease his best friend’s anger. because this wasn’t anger. no prepared acts of acting cute, because this wasn’t irritation. just his heart in his hands, ready to be bared and presented. perhaps as a gift, more likely as a sacrifice. it was a sacrifice he was willing to give up.

“i know you’re in there.”

nothing

“i didn’t come here to hurt you.”

quiet.

“please.”

all he could hear was the ringing in his ears.

wooyoung breathed in once, deep. “fine. it’s okay, i’ll talk from here. i’m just banking on the fact that you’ll hear me out. it doesn’t matter if you don’t respond.”

this was the hardest thing wooyoung had ever done.

“i’m sorry. i know that’s the most useless thing to say right now, but i have to. i’m sorry i acted that way after what you said. i was being a complete idiot, and a jerk. you know i am that way, but that doesn’t excuse it. i’m really, really sorry”

breath two

“i miss you. it’s honestly been hell, these two weeks. my apartment’s a mess. all i’ve been eating is instant food, and honestly i couldn’t give a shit about all the tests we have right now. it’s always silent in there. i can’t blame all the guys for ignoring me, i deserve it, but it’s just- it’s just hard. i got used to you always being there. and it’s like i can’t function when you’re not.”

breath three

“i know i’m being selfish. i’m starting to think that i’m inherently a bad person, because even now i’m still thinking about myself. seonghwa said you haven’t left your house, that you won’t do anything. i’m sorry. fuck, i really am. you shouldn’t do all that. you shouldn’t have to suffer, you didn’t do anything wrong. i’m the one that made the mistake. so please, come back. you don’t have to come back to me, but the guys. they’re worried. so am I, but i’m past the point of deserving anything from you.”

breath 4

“i couldn’t stop thinking about that night.” wooyoung dropped his gaze, even though the door remained resolutely shut

“i know you can’t either. fuck, i messed up. i didn’t mean any of that shit, i honestly don’t know why i said that. but i’ve been thinking about it. about you. i think about you a lot.”

here goes nothing

“you’re important to me. you’ve always been, since we were dumb kids fighting over a soccer ball in the school playground. and i think i just finally realised how, how much i started to rely on you. i need you. it’s like i can’t breathe without you, and i just realised because you were always there,and i didn’t know to miss you. fuck, i miss you. “

“i’m pathetic. i don’t know how to understand you like you understand me. i don’t know why you put up with me, i’d probably get tired of myself. but you do. and i-“

wooyoung struggled to get his bearings through the shaky breaths that come through his lips, eyes blurry. there’s so much he wants to say.

like how he finally understands the meaning behind every little action that he took for granted. how his eyes have finally opened to another way of communicating, of expressing care and concern.

i know. i know it’s your language, and i must have been fucking blind my whole life to miss it but please don’t stop talking to me i’m just starting to understand.

how he realises just how much his best friend means to him, right when he’s on the brink of losing him

“i get it now. you’ve always been too good for me. and i’m sorry it took this for me to see what was always in front of me”

wooyoung can be brave for once. wooyoung can be the one giving.

—

“and if the chain is on your door, i understand.”

three words. just three words.

“i love you.”

wooyoung shuts his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose in a bid to stop the hot tears. the door is still shut, and the silence is threatening to overwhelm him.

“i don’t expect you to accept that. i know i hurt you. but i had to come and say it. maybe this is me being selfish again.”

one last breath.

“but i swear on everything we’ve ever promised over the past 10 years. i mean it. yeosang, if you can hear me, i love you. i should’ve said it back that night, i don’t know why i didn’t, because now i look back and i think i must have loved you from the start.”

wooyoung blinked rapidly, and tilts his head upright to start at the block of mahogany in front of him.

“if you’re out of your mind, then i am too.” a wry smile found its way onto his lips as his mind replays a decade of laughter and memories, bitterly juxtaposed against the crippling loneliness and fear he feels right now. he’s going to walk away, and his best friend isn’t going to chase him.

“i’m gonna go now. i’m sorry, yeo. i won’t blame you for not believing me.”

—

but apparently jung wooyoung still doesn’t understand kang yeosang.

kang yeosang has never been able to push wooyoung away. not when they were 10, and definitely not when they’re 20.

someone grabbed the hood of his sweatshirt and yanked him back harshly. wooyoung stumbled, and his heart flipped in his chest. before he can comprehend anything, he’s being pinned against the mahogany door, but on the other side.

wooyoung loves yeosang’s eyes, because they burn with an intensity that is incomparable to anything else. wooyoung is still crying.

“if there’s one thing i hate about myself, it’s that i don’t know how to not love you, jung wooyoung.”

wooyoung thinks that he finally, finally, comprehends everything as yeosang crushes their bodies together in a semblance of a hug. but it’s tinged with desperation, and years of unspoken words and hidden actions. it’s the physical representation of please don’t leave me.

jung wooyoung is a fool. but he’s starting to learn.

lesson number 1: he’s in love with kang yeosang.

#ateez #fanfiction #woosang #wooyoung #yeosang #college au #friends to lovers #kpop #fanfic #its a mess

[gwoongi]

acts of love

bts / reader, all members / reader genre: best friends au, fluff + crack rating: general words: 9.6k warnings: platonic relationships, smoking, so much fluff you might need to book an appointment with ur dentist for tomorrow morning ASAP a/n: if u want 2 be bts’ best friend, raise ur hand *thousands of hands raise*. this fic fuels my genuine need to be their bff. i saw this post last night + wrote this immediately. hope u love it like i do :D 

➸ As long as you’ve got a good group of friends, anything is possible. Thankfully, you’ve got the best group you could ever ask for.

(01) taking pics of ur friends without them asking u to bc they looked so pretty in that exact moment

“Well, at least the views not so bad. Honestly, I thought it would be a lot worse.”

Beside you, at the top of the bleachers that surround the large football pitch below, Taehyung huffs and kicks his feet up onto the empty row in front of him. It would be easy to just move rows, considering the game’s due to start in ten minutes time, and there’s plenty of empty seats closer. But, he’s bought these seats, and by the looks of things, Yoongi and Hoseok are already comfortable where they are, sharing a big bag of sticky popcorn between them. Casting a look to the right, you notice that Sana and Seunghee are making their way up, dressed in jerseys and caps, and you suddenly feel very out of place.

“Tell me why I came again?” you ask, not looking away from the pitch below. The grass is bright green, and every wandering body down on the pitch is just a small speck.

“Because,” Taehyung starts, unlocking his phone and checking his messages. You snoop- one missed text from Jeongguk and two off his Mom, which makes you smile. Taehyung’s always been a Mommy’s boy. “You love me, and you know that I worked my ass off for two whole months saving up for these tickets. And, since Jimin’s sick and couldn’t come, you decided to be a good friend and take his place.”

With a frown, you look back towards Taehyung. “I don’t know shit about football.”

“Cheer when we do,” Taehyung suggests honestly.

Yoongi perks up, patting your arm roughly. “Do what I do, and cheer for the team with the prettier uniform.”

“Don’t!” Taehyung hisses, grabbing you back. “The other team have a prettier uniform, but if you cheer for them on this side of the stadium, you’re going to get mobbed. Hey, Yoongi, don’t tell her that, she doesn’t know any better.”

“Just football,” Yoongi shrugs.

“Just football…” Taehyung scoffs and shrinks back down in his seat.

You laugh quietly, petting Taehyung’s leg with faux sympathy. As you move your body to glance around the stadium, strangely anticipating the start of the match, a flash out the corner of your eye makes you look over in Hoseok’s general direction. Hoseok holds his phone up, taking a photo, and then smiles as he checks it on the screen.

“Jung Hoseok, delete it now!” you gape, realising what he’s done. “Oh my God, I bet I look so ugly...you could have warned me.”

“Sorry,” he laughs sheepishly. He then shows you the screen, “you looked pretty! And it’s your first live match ever, we had to document it. Yoongi, look. Wow...I’m sending this to Jimin for proof that you’re having fun.”

“What if I’m not having fun?” you ask.

He glances up, “you are.”

Well. If he says so.

(02) randomly giving tiny gifts (a comic book that ur friend likes, a heart-shaped piece of paper with a sweet message on it)

“Can anybody here share the exact chemistry behind Elephant Toothpaste?”

Chemistry is the absolute bane of your life. It’s only been a few weeks, and you’re already regretting taking additional classes in it. Technically, it was Jimin’s fault you were here in the first place. If it wasn’t for the fact that Jimin was afraid of enrolling into classes alone and therefore had guilted you into taking advanced chemistry with him, then you wouldn’t be here. You sigh for the fourth time in the last ten minutes and shove your chin into the palm of your hand. The clock above Professor Han’s head seems to be still, taunting you with zero movements.

Can boredom kill you? You wonder about that, letting your mind wander as Professor Han continues to quiz the front two rows on the exact chemical formula of the affectionately named Elephant Toothpaste. You’re so close to finding the answer when you feel somebody poking your upper arm. The finger that pokes belongs to Jimin, and you angle your head to look at him with a questioning glare.

Jimin smiles, his hair falling into his face. Like you, he rolled out of bed this morning and tried his best to look semi-presentable; if you counted borderline pajama wear and a serious case of bed-head to be presentable and acceptable for a 9am lecture. Jimin says nothing, just smiles and pushes something towards you with two fingers. The sound of the paper sliding towards you brings your gaze down, and as you look away to stare at it, Jimin returns his attention to Professor Han. Bare in mind, his notebook is empty, save doodles of Yewon on the front row, occasionally losing focus and staring around the room for long periods of time.

What Jimin has pushed before you is a small little piece of paper, smoothly cut into a heart shape. Now the sound of scissors makes sense… It’s just scrap paper from the back of his notebook, decorated with tiny stars and circles, a pathetic hand drawn galaxy on the front like a book cover. You slowly pick it up, more interested in this than the lecture. You turn it over curiously, your heart thumping endearingly and a smile picking up on your face as you read what he’s written on the back.

you and me have some serious chemistry. love u

Jimin refuses to make eye contact again. He’ll say something along the lines of, “you’re taking it too seriously” when you’ll no doubt ask him about it later, but really, Jimin’s just a softie, with the sudden need to tell his friends that he loves them. You’re not complaining.

(03) handwritten letters with cute stickers

Something’s been left in your shared kitchen, something with your name on it and closed in an envelope with a small Gudetama sticker. You set your cup of tea to the side, sliding up onto a stool near the breakfast bar to read it. The front is in a bold font, in handwriting you don’t really recognise. Careful of the time and effort put into the appearance, you carefully open the envelope and take out the contents.

Y/N

Good morning. I hope you slept okay - when I came home last night after judo, you were actually passed out on the couch in the common room so I piggy backed you up to your room. Hehe, your room is so dirty though...I think I definitely tripped over a plug that connected your fairylights, so sorry if that doesn’t work anymore. Anyway. I left this morning and left you some nice tea and some tablets (Yoongi said that I should put them in your bathroom, so I literally just left them on your sink). I know you haven’t been having a fun time with midterms and you need to take care of yourself! If you get too sick and can’t do anything, then how will we eat?? You’re our uni mom!!! We need to live too!!!!! D:

I also rented out Harry Potter for later. I know you get really sad and lonely when you’re stressed out, and so we can watch it together when I’m home after my shift at work :D

Hehe, feel better <3 Just remember that Jeonggukie loves you!!!

Drink tea and stay warm :)

Lots of love, Jeongguk :D

The paper is signed with Jeongguk’s messy handwriting, like he ran out of time as he was writing it. The page is littered with tiny Gudetama stickers and the sight of it makes you smile. Along with other little notes Jeongguk’s left for you over the last few months, this one earns a spot on your cork board above your desk.

(04) remembering what ur friend likes or dislikes

You were so late.

Almost getting run over by a bus in the process, you sprint across the small road that separates your flat and the University central campus, missing a deep puddle as you step up off the road and onto the pavement. It pours, your hair soaked and makeup no doubt running and staining your cheeks. Holy fuck, you were so late.

Every Friday, without fail, Flat 6 (aka the large and slightly stinky flat you share with two of your best friends) host an annual movie night, inviting literally all of your extended friendship group which definitely is not allowed, but who cares? You noticed Namjoon’s car pulled up in the car park next door and curse again, knowing you’re the last one to arrive to a movie night you’re technically hosting.

You rush up the stairs, since the elevator is still down for maintenance, and burst into the flat with an announcing groan. From somewhere in the living room, Jeongguk looks up with happy surprise and jumps up off the couch, approaching the hall.

“Y/N! You made it.”

You wince, smiling as you hang up your coat to drip dry on the mat near the door. “Yep. I made it. To my own movie night. That I’m technically helping host.”

“No sweat,” Jeongguk shrugs. “It’s okay. Here, I’ll dump your bag in the closet. Get changed, I think Yoongi’s still preparing snacks, anyway.”

“Okay. Thanks, Jeonggukie.”

He gushes, smiling and raising his shoulders cutely. “It’s okay, Y/N.”

Jeongguk swiftly takes your bag from your clutches, faking the weight with the droop of his knees just to hear you laugh, and then he turns to shuffle down the hall to quite literally toss it into the shared storage closet. You’re not too worried; on days like today, in which you have one 1 hour seminar to attend at 5pm and nothing else, there’s nothing inside your bag worthy of being broken by Jeongguk throwing it to the ground. As he does this, you shudder out of your shoes and make your way to your bedroom, to change into something warm and comfortable for the movie.

The sound of laughter makes you hurry to change, one leg out of your damp and cold jeans whilst simultaneously fishing for some old jogging bottoms out of your bottom draw, a jumper from Yoongi that he thought he lost left for you to grab on your bed. What he doesn’t know and will find out in five minutes won’t hurt him. (Yoongi also doesn’t care, because he’s a whipped best friend who lets you do what you want, including steal clothes he actually needs and can’t really afford to replace. Oh well, sharing is caring!).

Your hair is still soaked, and you move towards the single bathroom squeezed between two bedrooms to ring it out in the sink. Once you’re done, and your hair is thrown up into a scrunchie-decorated pony, you pace back towards the kitchen where, rightly so, Yoongi stands with his back facing you, filling up a glass with Pepsi.

“I thought we threw that shit out,” you announce as you walk in. “You know this flat is Team Coca Cola, those are the rules.”

Yoongi sighs, not looking up. “Yeah, I know, but Namjoon is a monster.”

“He’s so annoying...why can’t he just admit that Coca Cola is better?” you sigh, moving towards Yoongi to see the small bowls of snacks he has ready to be taken into the living room. It’s full in there, people stuffed onto the sofas and the floor where a bed of blankets lies like a mattress.

Yoongi’s outdone himself; the bowls are neatly organised by colour and ingredient, and you smile. Yoongi was a lot of things, one of them a secret perfectionist. Even when it concerned bowls of snacks. God, you love to love him.

“Namjoon’s a man of unpopular opinions, I mean, he really thinks the live action of Attack on Titan is good, like, who actually thinks that?” Yoongi rants, and then he glances to the side towards you, is silent for a moment, and then asks, “is that my jumper?”

You look down at it with a smile. “Yep. It’s comfy.”

Yoongi hums, like he’s bored. “Whatever, looks better on you than it did on me. Who the fuck lied to me and told me dark green was my colour...?”

“Every colour is your colour,” you say, patting his back and reaching for the bowls. “Should I take these in?”

Yoongi then nods, humming again. “Yeah. Yellow bowl is for you, by the way.”

You look to it. “And why is that?”

“Cause I know you don’t like the barbeque flavour chips that are in the red bowl, but everyone else does, so I went out and got you the salty ones. Oh, and there’s a bar of Galaxy in the fridge. Don’t tell Jeongguk, cause he’ll get pissy about how I didn’t get him something.”

As Yoongi tells you this, your heart flutters. You had told him that when you first met, after he offered you some of his chips noticing you were the only person not eating.

“You remembered that?” you wonder, and Yoongi looks at you like you’ve lost your mind.

“I’m a good friend,” he states, as though it were obvious. “Don’t get it twisted, though. I only did it because I don’t want to hear you complaining about it all night.”

You’re sure that’s a lie, but if it makes him feel better, you’ll accept it. You’ll also ignore the embarrassed tinge of red on his cheeks.

(05) inside jokes

[15:16PM] jeongguk: alright fuckers 🔪😡 [15:16PM] jeongguk: who left the kitchen window open all damn night [15:17PM] jeongguk: there’s three spiders in the sink and it rained so the work surface is all wet [15:17PM] jeongguk: [1 Image Attached] not happy bois [15:23PM] jine: i dont even live with you why are you asking the gc this [15:24PM] jeongguk: yoongi has the flat gc muted and idk how else to yell at him [15:28PM] y/n: blame me,,,,i have failed u,,,,,,,im sowwy [15:29PM] jeongguk: hehe its ok ❣️💘💕💓 i’ll clean it up 🥰 [15:32PM] haseul: eye….. [15:39PM] jimin: YALL LMAOODIUGJFKDSLJ [15:39PM] jimin: guess what TF just happened in my maths class [15:41PM] jimin: i forgot that on one of my assignments me and y/n had drawn a camel in the library on the back and he saw and asked me 2 stay behind after class so he could have stern words with me or smthn…..anyway so i go to the front of the class at the end and he’s like “mr park what the hell is this camel doing here” [15:42PM] jimin: and i said sir thats not a camel [15:42PM] jimin: thats my WIFE [15:43PM] y/n: HA HA HA… [15:45PM] yoongi: IF YALL DONT STOP [15:47PM] taehyung: THIS IS THE THIRD TIME YOU’VE MADE THIS REFERENCE AND I DONT KNOW WHAT IT MEANS [15:47PM] taehyung: this inside joke stinks….someone explain to me please what this means 😭😭😭 [15:48PM] hoseok: i hate this damn gc

(06) long phone calls

[Incoming Facetime Call From: Seokjin 👪]

“Hey.”

“Hey. Y/N, are you sitting down because I have some major tea on Professor Kwon and Professor Kim and I’m not supposed to be saying anything and it’s killing me.”

“Oh shit.” Audio shuffles. “I’m lying down now, bitch. Tell me everything.”

“Okay. So…”

[Five Hours Later]

“I’m still in shock about Kwon and Kim.”

“Me too. What’s Kim gonna do, lie and say she had heat rash on her titties?”

“Hopefully she doesn’t get them out for people to see.”

“Literally. God, I hate how our life has resorted to teacher gossip. Are we those students?”

“Yup. Two students bitching about teachers at...like ...midnight?”

“Oh, shit, it’s midnight already??”

(07) facetiming while ur both doing something else (study dates like that are on another level of intimacy)

Jimin’s had the same cold for about two weeks now, and nobody knows what the hell’s up with it. He walks around his flat, according to Hoseok, wrapped up in a blanket and surrounded by a necklace of matted tissues. To be honest, it’s not as bad as he’s making it out to be, but he’s a guy, and so anything that involves a slight stomach pain and a blocked nose instantly translates to man flu, which is almost as bad as the plague.

That being said, Jimin’s set himself under “house arrest” and is therefore glued to his bed or desk chair, still managing to move his sore and aching joints to write a few words on his lab report. With the first round of finals creeping up, Jimin actually wants to go to the library, but, man, what with his man flu and everything, he just can’t seem to do it.

On the other hand, he has you to set the mood for him. After snagging a corner table in the library near the big windows, you make a barrier out of your bag and books to watch the sunset, Taehyung opposite using minimal space with his laptop and headphones, watching a documentary he’ll need to cite for his essay. Jeongguk naps next to you, having exhausted himself from his shift last night that ran into the early hours and Sana secretly paints her nails, blowing them dry as she takes a break from writing.

Once you’re settled and comfortable, you reluctantly peel away the slice of tape covering your webcam (because Black Mirror has forever scared you into thinking 4Chan are watching you and will hold your endless hours of Games2Girls dot com against you) and open up Facetime, ringing Jimin who waits patiently back home.

After a few rings, Jimin’s bright and tired face pops up on the screen and you both silently wave. Jimin has his mic muted, but yours is on, allowing the ambience of the library trick Jimin into believing he’s actually there. It’s not quite like an ordinary study date, but for now, it’ll do. He opens his textbook and starts to work, comfortable and happy now that he’s listening to his friends discuss work, like he’s there. He smiles, occasionally glancing up to see your face working or Jeongguk unintentionally leaning into frame. It’s comforting. He works well.

(08) cooking something for ur friend

“Merry Christmas, Tae. Oh, wait, I have something for you.”

Taehyung is hosting a Christmas party this year, in the apartment he shares with some of the girls in your group and Namjoon. His flat is lit up with lights, draining the electricity, the tree sparkling like diamonds in the front living room that looks out onto the Seoul city. The sound of Michael Bublé sings out festively and Taehyung leads you through to the kitchen, out of the loud madness of the party that’s getting into full swing. In one hand, you have a big bag of presents that both Jeongguk and Yoongi kindly left for you to haul all by yourself to Taehyung’s flat, and in the other, you balance a box across your arm, the corner sharp on your inner elbow.

“Cool. Your gift is under the tree,” Taehyung says.

“Oh, yeah. No, this is an early gift.”

“Just for me?” he asks.

You set down the box. “Well, you can share if you love us all a lot. But, it’s for you.”

Taehyung wastes no time in opening the box, a smile widening across his face as he reviews the contents. The box is stuffed full with cookies, baked big and crumbly for his tasty pleasures. They’re decorated too, because you love him so much and you know he liked them last year.

“Last year you ate nearly all of my batch, so I just decided to make you some of your own this year,” you tell him casually. It’s really no big deal, but Taehyung feels like he might actually cry because the thought is so sweet. You notice this, the glassiness of your eyes. “Ew, don’t cry.”

“I’m sorry, I’m touched!” he exclaims. Taehyung turns on his spot and wraps an arm around your neck, pulling you in for a hug. With your arms wrapped around his torso, Taehyung smiles with a thrilled sound and kisses the crown of your head. “Thanks, Y/N, you’re the best.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know.”

(09) sending texts when u randomly think abt them

[11:15AM] namjoon 👨🏼‍🚀: i stopped by at kyobo’s today and found a cards against humanity add on pack that was harry potter themed and i thought of u lol [11:15AM] namjoon 👨🏼‍🚀: i bought it for u btw 😊

(10) listening without judging

When the front door slams shut, you know that something’s wrong.

Having opted for sitting in the natural light of the living room to finish your lab report, the sound of the door echoes loudly throughout the empty house. It’s only you home, since Yoongi has volleyball practise until six this evening, which means it’s Jeongguk who’s home and apparently, not in a very good mood.

Jeongguk doesn’t realise you’re in the living room until he enters it, stopping suddenly in the doorway when he sees you cross-legged on the carpet near the coffee table. His eyes are red and swollen, his nose shiny from where he’s been crying and sniffling. The sight makes your stomach churn with an indescribable feeling, and you immediately rise to your feet.

“Jeongguk? What’s wrong- did something happen?” you ask him, not stepping forward until you know he’s okay. 

Jeongguk’s sensitive, the baby of the friendship group, and sometimes you forget to go easy on him. He sighs loudly and drops his backpack to the floor with a thud. His books curl inside loudly and he drags his feet across the floor to get to the couch. He moves as if he’s going to sit down and then stops, turning to you. His bottom lip curls like he’s about to cry, and then he opens his arms for a hug. You immediately move forward.

“Oh, Jeonggukkie,” you coo, stroking his hair and moving to sit on the sofa. Jeongguk comes down with you and you rest his head on top of your breasts, granting him this once in a lifetime opportunity and he doesn’t even register it. He just cries, loudly and comfortably, his arms around you as he sobs. “Oh, my baby. What happened?”

Jeongguk hiccups. “Do-Doesn’t matter. It’s dumb.”

“No, it’s not. Something hurt your feelings, and your feelings aren’t dumb,” you tell him seriously. Stroking the hair out of his face, you peer down at him. “Come on. Tell me, I won’t judge or tell anybody else. You can trust me.”

He sniffs loudly, but you don’t cringe. He blinks, tears falling and he embarrassingly wipes the tears away, nodding. “Okay.” And then the words come out like vomit.

“I just. You know how I liked Sooyoung, right? Well, we were talking- everyone knows we were, but still, we were talking, and I just really liked her and wanted her to like me. I did all this stuff for her, planned all these dates and got her flowers. I thought she liked flowers, girls like flowers. I know we joke that you’re one of the guys, but even you liked those flowers I got for you. So, I got her this pretty necklace with an S on it and was going to give it to her and so I went to her practise room. She does dance, you knew she does dance, right? Yeah. And so I went to the room and was in the room talking to her when the door opens and this guy comes in and he comes up to her and they kiss and I just. She. She told me she didn’t want to rush into dating and that she liked me, and then she suddenly started dating someone else and I’m just really hurt and confused. Did I do something wrong? Am I ugly? Am I annoying, I just...I don’t know what I did. I really liked her.”

You don’t say anything as he talks. You just listen intently, nodding against his head with a low hum and stroking his hair gently.

“I know it’s silly and stupid that I’m crying over a girl, it’s just…” He sighs. “It hurts.”

You sigh, too. “It’s not silly and stupid. What Sooyoung did was really shitty and it’s natural that it hurt your feelings. You did absolutely nothing wrong, though. The flowers were pretty, and you didn’t force her into anything, and you were so kind and patient. Any girl would be lucky enough to have you as a boyfriend. Sooyoung missed out! You’re so good, Jeongguk, one of the best guys I know. And you’re not ugly! That’s an insult to actual ugly people! If you’re ugly, then what are we?” He laughs shyly and you smile, “Huh? What are we?”

“Okay, sorry,” Jeongguk laughs, pressing his cheek into your torso with a wide smile. His hands loop together behind your back, meek and timid, and he sighs, this time less sadly. “Maybe I’m destined to be alone forever…”

“You’re being dramatic, now,” you sigh. “The right person is waiting for you. Just give it some time.”

Jeongguk thinks about that for a moment. “Wanna date me if I end up alone and single aged thirty?”

Loudly, you let out a laugh. “Yeah right. You know what, fine. Even though I know you won’t be, if we’re both single by thirty, I’ll marry you. How about that?”

Jeongguk hums. “Cool. Is it safe to have kids after thirty?”

You let out a wheeze, taken aback by Jeongguk’s question. “Woah there. I said I’d marry you, not birth your children! Besides, you’re acting like thirty is ancient! Lots of women have kids aged thirty.”

“Okay, sorry, I didn’t know! My Mom was only young.”

“I can’t believe you just asked me to have kids with you when we’re thirty…”

“Might as well make our marriage interesting,” Jeongguk shrugs.

You quite literally have nothing to say to that.

(11) making someone laugh so hard that their whole body shakes

“Ow- stop! I’m going to pee!”

You don’t think you’ve seen Seokjin laugh at a joke that’s not his own in quite some time. Tonight, across the table in the retro diner that’s been converted and opened in town, he has surprised you. The entire booth shakes with laughter, from all sides and directions. Seokjin leans up against the window, clutching his side with Jimin, Mina and Yoongi all stuffed next to him on the skinny one seater. Next to you, on either side, is Hoseok and Taehyung, with Jeongguk and Namjoon at the counter ordering more drinks.

“What?” you ask, laughing. You’re not laughing because it’s funny, but more so because you have no idea what it is you did to make him laugh so hard. “What did I say?”

Seokjin can hardly get his words out, choking halfway on air and having to reach for his drink which shakes in his hand. He sips and gasps for air: “Just-your...face!” Then he cracks up again, like it’s the literal joke of the century. You just don’t get it.

“What did I do?” you ask. “What’s so funny?”

Seokjin can’t breathe.

“Oh my God,” Yoongi comments, smiling with disbelief and covering his mouth as he laughs. Mina’s french fries are stone cold as she laughs and leans into Yoongi’s side for support.

“Fuck. Y/N, you’re so funny, I love you so much,” Seokjin cries. Cries, literally; there are tears pooling out of his eyes, and he wipes them, sighing loudly as he laughs a few more times.

You’re going to take the compliment happily, and move on. To this day, you never found out what was so funny…

(12) hanging out in furniture stores and testing every couch there is

“Take a picture of me so we can pretend this is our house for Instagram.”

You sigh, taking out your phone and snapping a photo of Taehyung, lounging his legs apart across a lime green sofa that looks like it’s been hauled out of a 70’s magazine. One of the best things about Taehyung is that he’s easy to please, eccentric and adventurous just like you. Taehyung could be taken to a junkyard for a first date and somehow he’d still find it fun. He didn’t watch Bottletop Bill and his best friend Corky and leave not taking some inspiration on what to do with scrap junk.

It slowly became a tradition to go to the weirdest places with Taehyung as your date. On weekends or free weekdays you shared, you’d text Taehyung and get him to come with you to somewhere new. On today’s list, IKEA. It’s not totally crazy, or weird or wacky, just something you don’t think you’d do with Yoongi for fun. Taehyung loved the idea.

Taehyung’s making it a mission to sit on every bit of furniture he can find. As he takes a ride up the elevator to the first and main starting point of IKEA, he immediately notices the display couches and stares at you excitedly: “Let’s pretend we’re about to buy our dream house and test all the couches.”

Your eyes light up. “Yes! We can pretend we’re on a TV show reviewing them.”

You don’t think you’ve ever seen Taehyung more excited. “Oh my God, yes!” Then he grabs your hand, tugging you towards a cream themed living display. “Let’s go, wifey! Time to review.”

(You very nearly leave IKEA with a bright red sofa that looks like it’s been handmade and the bottom pillows are patterned with tiny cherries. Sadly, you’re both broke and you don’t have a car to take it home.)

((Taehyung’s devastated.))

(13) deep conversations when it's deep in the night

Sometimes, Yoongi stays awake until the early hours in the living room and kitchen. On days where you can’t sleep, you can hear him pacing around, softly grunting as he walks, something he does without really realising and something you love about him. On occasion, you join him. Like tonight, for example.

Yoongi’s curled up on the kitchen counter when you wake up and leave your room to find him. He sits with his back up against the cupboards, the kitchen window open with a cigarette out the window. Catching your gaze wide-eyed, he moves as if he’s going to put the cigarette out but you stop him.

“I told Jeongguk I’d stop,” Yoongi explains. Inside, he’s just grateful you’re not Jeongguk tonight. The cigarette lets off steam. He doesn’t smoke as often as he used to, just when he needs to. Yoongi looks away from the window as you pick yourself up to sit on the cupboards parallel to him. A bottle of wine is out, and you quietly take off the top and take a large swig.

“You don’t have to explain anything to me,” you tell him honestly. “It’s okay. I won’t tell Jeongguk, too. There’s a new air freshener in the cupboard under the sink. Use that when you’re done.”

Yoongi nods. “Yeah. Thanks, Y/N.”

“Why’d you go back to smoking anyway? Didn’t you tell Jeongguk that you were stopping because you didn’t want to die, or something?” It’s a joke, Yoongi snorts in reply.

“You know how he feels about it. I do too, and I guess I just felt bad about it. It was bad enough for him growing up and at home, and he told me about his brothers asthma attacks because of it and how he almost died, and how his parents smoked religiously and it made them act a certain way.” Yoongi sucks in his breath, like he’s realising what lighting the cigarette means. “It’s not weed. Not what his parents did, but. Still, fuck.” He decides to put it out.

For a while, you don’t say anything to Yoongi. Staring at him is telling enough, and you watch as Yoongi regrets what he’s done so much that he pales, his eyes watering.

“I don’t want to let him down,” Yoongi admits truthfully. “He’s like my little brother. I don’t wanna hurt him, fuck.”

He rocks his head back, sighing into the night. Down below the window, over the small little cliffside that he can see from his window that looks down onto the freeway behind the flat, he watches the lines of traffic whiz by, like long white lights, the honks like ASMR in his ears.

“If you’re going back to bed, can you go in my room and take the rest of my cigs out? Don’t wanna feel tempted by them. Toss them out or something, will you?”

You nod immediately, taking another drink of wine. This gulp stings. “Course. Yeah, I’m gonna go now actually.” You hop down off the counter, handing the bottle and placing it next to Yoongi. “Don’t stay up too late, mkay?”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

You shrug in reply, Yoongi frowns. As you walk towards the doorway that separates the kitchen and the hall, you turn around and look back at Yoongi, calling his name. Yoongi looks over and raises his eyebrows expectantly.

“Love you,” you tell him. A smile follows, and Yoongi blinks tiredly.

“I love you too. Goodnight, Y/N.”

He watches as you disappear into the darkness of the hallway and then faces the nighttime again. The smell of cigarettes lingers, and his stomach churns. Yoongi reaches for the air freshener you mentioned and sprays it generously, sniffing and then turning off the lights to the kitchen. Jeongguk will wake up and complain about the window being open, and might even notice the ash on the windowsill, but, like you, he still loves his big brother regardless.

(14) holding hands while jaywalking so that u Both get hit by a car

“Now!”

A squeal leaves your mouth as Jeongguk grabs a hold of your hand and literally pulls you across the road. A car that speeds down the road presses the horn loud enough to turn a few heads and Jeongguk grins boyishly, raising his hand as if to say sorry even though you’re far enough away to not get hit. Jeongguk’s motto for jaywalking is We Hold Hands, Because We Go Together Or We Don’t Go Down At All, or something. You know he stole half of it from an All Time Low song, but it works, and the song slaps.

From across the road, on the side you and Jeongguk are running towards, Hoseok gapes at the both of you and his eyes bulge out of his head.

“You two have a death wish!” he yells.

“But we lived, bitch!” Jeongguk replies, raising a gang sign to which Hoseok pulls a face at.

“I literally cannot stand you,” Hoseok seethes, walking away even though he’s supposed to be going out for dinner with the both of you. You and Jeongguk share a look that ends in a burst of giggles and run after Hoseok, capturing each of his arms with your own. He complains all the way to the restaurant, even though he loves it.

(15) randomly buying a flower for someone

“Delivery.”

Namjoon’s voice lifts your head. He stands behind the reception desk of your flat complex with a small bunch of flowers in his left hand. If he didn’t already know that you were working your two hour shift today, then he’s lucky he caught you. The sight of a bouquet of wildflowers makes your heart soar curiously.

“For someone special?” you wonder. Maybe he’s delivering to someone in the complex. Namjoon’s a sweetie like that.

Namjoon blinks. “Yeah. You.” He holds the bouquet outwards, with a bright smile. “They were for sale outside as I got off my subway. Thought of you, again. Happy early birthday.”

“My birthday’s in, like, seven months,” you say.

“That’s why it’s for your early birthday,” Namjoon replies.

You don’t know what to say. “They’re so pretty, thank you. Hey - can you go up to my flat and put them in a vase? I’ve still got an hour here, they might dry out if they’re kept down here.”

Namjoon nods instantly. “Sure. Gimme your key?” You slide the key across the desk towards Namjoon and he takes it swiftly. “Cool. Glad you like them. Enjoy your shift, Y/N.”

“Unlikely,” you groan. “Thanks, Joonie!”

He smiles as he reaches the door, sticking his tongue out to you as he prepares to climb the stairs. That elevator needs fixing urgently, and all you can think about is how much you love your friends.

(16) letting ur friends taste ur food and also tasting theirs to the point where u basically ate a fair amount off of each plate on the table

“What do you mean you’ve never tried a steak before?” Yoongi sighs so loudly that it turns a few heads. “Okay. Take a bite, it’s called charity and I’m generous. Come on.”

Yoongi even cuts you a slice and leans over the table to let you taste it. Beside you, Namjoon cringes when you close your teeth around the fork and pull the steak off, taking several bites and widening your eyes with wonder a Yoongi. You have just unlocked a taste sensation!

“Like it?” Yoongi asks.

“Mhm! It’s so easy to eat,” you observe. You look at Namjoon, “try his.”

Yoongi sighs. He willingly shares his food out. You glance down at your own meal, a pretty pasta dish that Jeongguk looks at from next to Yoongi.

“What is that? It looks good,” Jeongguk asks.

“Spaghetti Al Pomodoro,” you quote from the menu. Jeongguk laughs, because who goes to a restaurant and orders spaghetti? “Stop, I don’t know the menu, I played it safe!”

“Lemme try,” Jeongguk invites himself to try the taste, twirling his fork around the pasta and sucking it up like a scene in Lady and the Tramp. This sets off a sequence around the table, something you can’t help but snigger at. Namjoon lets you try some of his curry and Yoongi tries Jeongguk’s burger. By the time everybody on the table has tried everybody elses meals, you finally look back at your plate and notice that literally half of the meal’s now gone. Yoongi has about one bite of steak left, and Jeongguk could easily finish his burger in one bite.

“I hope everyone enjoyed my meal,” Yoongi says sarcastically, and he angrily chews his last piece of steak.

Namjoon looks up with a bright smile. “Yeah I did. Thanks!”

(17) "give me that I'll carry it for u"

Sometimes, Hoseok stops by at the reception to help out, especially during finals or midterms when you could really use those two years of monitoring an empty email inbox to study. Today, one of the newer residents, Somi, is on the desk and is playing Club Penguin on the computer, and you’re shoved into the back storage room with Hoseok, filing everybody’s mail and parcels.

It’s so messy in here, and looks like it hasn’t had a good clean out since it was first built, which might sound ridiculous, but have you seen all of this dust?

“Can you guys take out the trash?” One of the other workers, Siwon, pokes his head into the back room.

“You only just asked us to do this, though,” Hoseok points out with his hands on his hips.

Siwon shrugs, “Okay. And? Get to work.”

He turns and leaves as Hoseok gives him the middle finger, groaning as he arches his back to relieve pain that’s developed from being hunched over for too long. The trash bags are enormous and bulky with weight, shoved into a single room that absolutely honks. Hoseok grimaces as he opens the door and drags some bags out, deliberately ignoring a suspicious juice leaving a trail behind one of the ones he’s just brought into the back room.

“That literally stinks,” you complain.

“Yep.”

While Hoseok continues to haul bags out of the trash room, you take it upon yourself to drag the bags out to the back, towards the giant tip that’s collected by the bin-men the following day. After two or three trips, Hoseok steps out of the room and notices you struggling to pick a big bag up off the floor over your shoulder, like Santa’s sack.

“Give me that, I’ll carry it for you,” Hoseok offers, already stepping forward.

“No!” you protest stubbornly. “I’ve got this.”

“You’re so full of bullshit,” Hoseok howls. He ignores you and snatches the bag out of your hands. You’ll never admit it, but it feels good to not have the twisty material burning your fingers. “Sit down. You’ve worked hard.”

“Don’t patronise me,” you scold.

He giggles, “sorry. You’re too cute. Keep filling in those forms, kill two birds with one stone?”

You wait until Hoseok’s out of the room to cradle your fingers. Fucking hell, that hurts.

(18) helping ur friend decide what to wear while also reminding them that they look amazing no matter what

“You’re not going to the Met Gala, Jimin. Just wear jeans, my dude.”

“No. No, no, ignore him.” You throw a glare in Jeongguk’s direction and shift on your stomach, watching Jimin frantically search through his wardrobe. “This is important. This is serious. He’s going to see a potential employer, Jeongguk.”

“Yeah,” Jimin taunts, “so go be jobless and broke somewhere else.”

Jeongguk snorts, “I have a job, though…”

“Okay, get out of my room. Y/N, help me.”

“You looked good in the last four outfits,” you say to him honestly. “What’s wrong with this one, hm?”

You stand up, moving to one of the outfits laid out on the floor. It’s a pretty combination of clothes; a patterned white shirt that’s both formal and casual, with black trousers and brown shoes.

“I don’t like the shoes,” Jimin mumbles, continuing to search.

“Okay...Why don’t we just…” You crouch, moving a pair of black shoes from outfit number three to outfit number two. Now the shoes are black, and the outfit looks great. “Do that? What do you think?”

Jimin looks down at it, biting his bottom lip. “Is it good?”

“Yeah, totally,” you nod with enthusiasm. “It shows your personality whilst also remaining professional. And you looked super handsome in it.” Jimin faces you with a shy smile, “Trust me. It’s the one.”

It takes some reluctance and convincing, but Jimin eventually settles on outfit number two. All it took was some convincing and abuse of his praise kink.

(And he got the job.)

(19) being involved in every bad hair decision (dyeing ur friend's hair grey in between playing with their switch)

Three games into Mario Kart, you realise that you urgently need to email Nintendo and play I’m-Karen-Let-Me-See-The-Manager. Nintendo Switches are so dangerously addictive that Seokjin has you watching him play as grey hair dye bleaches his scalp. You can’t help but watch as he wins race after race, a streak of ten to beat tonight with King Boo as his racer every damn time.

“Fuck, your hair!” You must have said that so many times that Seokjin’s bound to get sick of it. He glances up at his reflection and eyes the sight on his head.

“Looks fine,” he shrugs.

“Let me remind you that it looks fine because the colour’s okay at the front. It looks kinda...patchy at the back.” You reach for the dye, “We’re low. Seokjin, we’re in trouble.”

He shrugs again. “Whatever. We can make a new trend.”

“Hell no. If it looks shit, I’m paying for you to get it done professionally ...which, you should have just done in the first place. I'm not a hairdresser!”

“And thank fuck for that!” Jimin steps into the living room and laughs nervously. “That looks hideous!”

This time, Seokjin’s eyes raise icily.

“It’s not that bad…” you mutter. “It’s okay. I’ll fix it.”

“The only way to save your hair is to just sacrifice it all,” Jimin sighs. “You know what, I’ve got a razor in my cupboard, let’s bring forward bald Seokjin.”

“I’ll take the patchy scalp,” Seokjin threatens.

“It’s really not that bad,” you pout quietly, attempting to fix the mess at the back of his head.

Okay - you’re lying. It’s awful. It’s a total disaster. But when Seokjin gets a good look at it, and he does take a good long look, he just shrugs and puts down the mirror.

“It’s a trend,” he decides. Mario Kart resumes and you’re rendered absolutely speechless.

(20) paying attention

When forced into a group of friends outside of your own, you always had a tendency to stand out in the worst ways possible. It’s not as if you stood out for being different, or funny or pretty. No; outside of your close circle of friends, you were the obvious outsider. You stuck out like an imposter, like a red flower amongst white ones.

This get together hosted by one of Jeongguk’s other friends, Joshua, takes place in his crazy expensive lake house in the countryside, owned by his parents and left to him when he turned eighteen. It’s remarkable that you got invited, to be honest. But, when Jeongguk’s your best friend, you get vouched for, granted permission to stay for the weekend in the one of many rooms, with the exception of sharing a room with two other guys. Jeongguk doesn’t mind sharing a bed for the weekend with Jimin, as long as you’re comfortable in your own.

And you’re not blind - it’s not hard to figure out why a big group of girls who had managed invitations were clinging to your circle of friends. You had lucked out in a way that ensured your entire group were visuals, everybody stunning in their own unique way. Joshua and his friends are here too, obviously, but their eyes are only on a certain segment of the group. From this angle, one of the girls who made her way over to the sofas sits with her back in your general direction, and it sort of feels like primary school all over again where you were the odd one out.

You try not to let it bother you, though. As the guys play polite and laugh when needed and talk casually, something slips up in conversation: “Well, actually-” One of the girls is talking, blinking repetitively in Namjoon’s direction with a sweet smile, “I think I have more guy friends than girls. Girls are so hard to talk to sometimes.”

“Right?” one of the others says with a sigh. “I wish I had more male friends. I want to move in with some in the future.”

You inhale. This is a good conversation to jump into. “Same,” you say. The girl in front of you turns around slightly, perhaps only just remembering that you were there in the first place. “I’ve been friends with these guys forever now, and living with them is so…” You notice after a short ramble that the girls turned back around, and she’s not even listening. You trail off, looking bored, “who am I even talking to?”

But from across the coffee table on the other couch, Yoongi furrows his brows and sets his glass down. “Y/N’s right,” he announces, and you look up at the same time as the other girls. Like they’re confused, they look at the group and then back at you, as if wondering the connection. “You know, guys are always told being friends with girls is impossible, but Y/N’s the glue that keeps us together.”

Jeongguk nods, “Mhm, exactly! You know, they said that it would be hard being friends with girls because you’d catch feelings, but Y/N’s so repulsive that it’s not even that hard...”

You glare at him, “Ha-ha. Very funny.”

“Trust me,” Chaeyoung pops up, having been sat silently in between Taehyung and Mark for the past twenty six minutes, “it’s not all that.” The girls look at her, “Men are disgusting. I don’t know how Y/N does it. These guys are the repulsive ones...I was in their flat for five minutes and I think I caught three diseases.”

“Hey, don’t drag my apartment into this,” you pout. Yoongi shakes his head with a smile and watches you, happy that the frown that was once on your features had disappeared into a smile. Hey, in a weird way, this was a good conversation to jump into! 

The girls around you share glances, as though they’ve just clocked on to how important you are to these guys and how ignoring you won’t make them like them more, and eventually, you’re included in the conversation. You make a mental reminder to thank the fuck out of Yoongi for paying attention to you, even when you’re silently in the background.

(21) being aware and understanding of someone's financial situation ("dw I'll pay for u")

“We all need matching ones. Look, one each!”

Jeongguk excitedly crouches in front of one of the display cases, marvelling at the sight of tiny little charms on foam boxes, smiling up at you all. It makes you weak seeing how childlike Jeongguk actually is, how he gets excited over shiny things like a little magpie. Today is one of those rare afternoons where you’re all miraculously free, and it had been Namjoon’s idea to go out somewhere and hang out. Seoul is filled with beautiful and secret places to explore like a tourist and he takes up the opportunity.

This shop is dinky and in a weird place between an ice-cream shop and a fish market, probably scammy and has definitely seen better days. But Namjoon likes it, and Yoongi vouches for it because he’s been here before with Namjoon when they brought a watch for Jimin. Okay, yes, it was a designer watch, but it was way cheaper from this shop and, wait, who cares if it’s fake? Nobody noticed until now.

You stand behind Jeongguk, peering down at the charms. They’re all so cute and cartoon-like, each charm you view immediately reminding you of another friend. For Jeongguk, the rabbit. Taehyung could have the paintbrush or camera, Jimin definitely could have the apple because of the fact that his new favourite thing to say is An Apple A Day Keeps The Demons Away. It makes no sense, but he learns to roll with it.

“They’re cute,” Hoseok comments, smiling widely.

“They should be cute, for thirty dollars a charm!” you gape, pointing out the price. “I thought this was a shop that sold things cheaper?!”

“They’re usually around sixty,” Namjoon shrugs.

“For why?” you exclaim.

Nobody hears that, or if they do, they ignore it. With a sigh, you turn away from the case and start looking at something else. Thirty dollars for a small charm is insane, and you don’t have that kind of money. As Taehyung and Jeongguk start picking charms for everybody, your heart rate quickens. 

How can you tell them that you don’t want a charm because you can’t afford a charm without disappointing them and sounding like you’re asking one of them to buy you one? In your panic, Seokjin worms his way up behind you and rests his arm up on your head like an arm-rest.

“Have you picked a charm?” he asks, and you look away instantly. “Hey,” he says, noticing that, “what’s up, buttercup?”

You sigh reluctantly. “I can’t afford to get one of those…”

Seokjin blinks and frowns slightly. “Oh. Well, that’s okay. I’ll pay for you.”

“No way!” you hiss at him, poking a finger into his chest. “Kim Seokjin, don’t you dare-!”

“Hey, I owe you, it’s cool,” Seokjin assures you.

“Owing me because I paid for your McDonalds is not the same as spending thirty dollars on a tiny charm.”

“They’re friendship charms,” he explains. “It’s symbolic for our friendship. Look, stay silent and pretty and let me get you something nice. Please?”

In this one instance, Seokjin doesn’t take no for an answer and invites himself into the small huddle of guys around the charms and picks one out for you. Seokjin picks you a love heart, because he knows that no matter what, there’s a love between the guys and you that nothing can pull apart.

(22) looking stupid in public together (dancing in stores to overplayed pop songs)

You hear it at the same time as Jeongguk.

One thing you don’t mind that much about Korea is that the sound of random K-POP groups follows you around everywhere you go. You actually kind of like it, because the songs are catchy enough and Jimin and Hoseok like it for the dances. But, my God, if you have to hear Momoland’s Bboom Bboom one more time, you might explode.

Over the hum of the refrigerators in the small GS25, where you and Jeongguk are examining the surprisingly large collection of flavoured milks, you hear those guitar strums and just as the horns roll in, you and Jeongguk share a glance and immediately do The Thing.

The Thing is recreating the entire dance routine to the song, which you had both decided to learn when you were bored and procrastinating during midterms. Everybody else in your friendship group deems it the single most embarrassing thing that you and Jeongguk do in public next to jaywalking, and maybe you can see why. The chorus rolls by and you’re both shimmying, pointing finger hearts to each other, and it’s rolling to an end when one of the cashiers turns the corner with a big tray of iced coffee in her arms.

She pauses and so do the both of you, in an intense stare off until she cowers and scurries to put down the tray and carefully shelf the drinks. Jeongguk looks at you with the urge to laugh and picks a random milk off the shelf, urging you out of the aisle to pay. When you’re outside and free from the judgement of the cashier, Jeongguk laughs on the floor for about five straight minutes.

(23) looking stupid in public together (singing loudly in ur car)

“JUST GO AHEAD AND HATE ON ME AND RUN YOUR MOUTH!”

“So everyone can hear!”

“HIT ME WITH THE WORST YOU GOT AND KNOCK ME DOWN!”

“Oh, baby, I don’t care.”

“KEEP IT UP AND SOON ENOUGH, YOU’LL FIGURE OUT!”

Both of your voices: “You wanna be, you wanna be, A LOSER LIKE ME!”

In the backseat, Yoongi shrinks further down until his bum is hanging off the chair, in the footwell where his knees are. “Please kill me.”

(24) hugging people when u say hi and goodbye to them

Hoseok is one of the best friends you could ever ask for. One, he’s friendly. Two, he’s funny. Three, he’s cute. Four, he hugs you when you arrive somewhere and again when you leave, and you absolutely love it.

“Y/N, hi!” His voice is the first to call out to you when you walk into the Open Day fair at your Uni. You look awful, overslept and still half asleep, but he comes towards you with a smile and engulfs you in a hug. “You look cute. Sleep well?”

That’s not to say the other guys don’t hug you, because they definitely do. But, Hoseok’s always the first.

(25) being there for someone even if u can't help them

“Go ahead. Laugh at me like everybody else.”

Jimin and Jeongguk are the ones who are unfortunately tasked with dealing with a tragically grieving Y/N. It’s unfortunate to you, but they don’t mind one bit. The last thing they expected to see when they came back to Jeongguk’s apartment to watch more episodes of Mindhunter on Jeongguk’s TV, was you curled up on the window seat with red eyes and a runny nose.

“Why would we laugh at you, baby?” Jeongguk asks, rubbing your back. He’s sat next to you and Jimin is by your feet, rubbing them and your legs with his soft hands.

You sniff uglily, but none of them say anything. “Cause. Cause it’s just a fish, I guess.”

“It was still your pet,” Jimin points out sadly. “Susan was a great fish.”

You sniff again, crying some more. “I just feel like a bad owner. Maybe the bowl wasn’t big enough, and maybe I didn’t feed her enough...I don’t want her to have died because of me.”

“Hey, now,” Jeongguk assures softly, “I’m sure she died peacefully. You were the best fish Mom ever. Susan’s in a better place now.” He glances over at Jimin nervously, “Like, fish heaven?”

For a moment you don’t say anything, and Jeongguk thinks maybe that was too much. But then you turn to him with a hopeful expression. “You really think so?”

“Yeah, of course,” Jeongguk replies.

“Susan’s still with you in your heart,” Jimin adds. He’s not too great at the comforting thing. “You were so good to her. If I was a fish, I’d want you to be my Mom.”

Jeongguk looks at Jimin with a deadpan face. Maybe that was too much, but you smiled, and that’s something to Jimin. Even if he doesn’t know what to do to help, the least he can do is be there for you.

(26) "this reminded me of u"

[03:15AM] namjoon: hehe [03:15AM] namjoon: this reminded me of u ^__^ [03:16AM] namjoon: [1 Image Attached]

[03:20AM] y/n: there r no words….

(27) allowing people to be human, with everything that this entails

University truly has been the best years of your life. There’ve been rough spots financially and mentally, but your key support system has been the circle of friends you’re proud to love and live with. Even when they’re a little bit chaotic, sometimes really annoying and loud and tiring, you still love them, and every quality that comes along with loving them.

#yoonkooknetwork #ggukienet #btsguild #hyunglinenetwork #btswriterscollective #bangtanarmynet #kwritersworld #hehe #bts #bangtan #bts imagine #bts scenario #bts fluff #bangtan scenarios #bangtan imagine #seokjin #namjoon #hoseok #yoongi #jeongguk #jimin #taehyung #seokjin x reader #yoongi x reader #namjoon x reader #hoseok x reader #jimin x reader #taehyung x reader #jeongguk x reader #jungkook x reader

[naitiaclo960writings]

Day 14 - Fire

A rustle of blankets. A sigh in the dark. Dean slowly turned in his bed, entangled in the sheets to protect himself from the cold that was beginning to infiltrate the bunker this October. The man had taken a little nap in the afternoon in order to make up for his last nights of insomnia, it was not as if they had work to do anyway. The monsters and other psychopathic killers seemed to have decided to take a break and Dean had every intention of taking the opportunity to rest his sore body from the last hunt.

He couldn’t have slept more than a couple of hours, which meant he had to be around 5pm. Nevertheless, Dean had no plans to get up right away, with his sheets pleasantly warm against his skin and, for the first time in a long time, sleep finally being cooperative with him. He knelt more against his pillow and put up a piece of sheets on his shoulders. While he was finally getting ready to plunge back into a deep sleep, something came to disturb his tranquility.

He did not know immediately what had bothered him, so he frowned slightly without opening his eyes and pricked up his ears, the sleep gradually leaving him as he forced himself to become more alert. It was like a bad feeling slowly taking hold of him until he could no longer ignore this impression of wrongness. Dean tensed softly into his bed, but kept his eyes firmly closed. It was dark in the room anyway, what could he possibly have discerned? He relied on his other senses to inform him of what was going on, having learned to trust his instincts after all these years of hunting.

However, he opened wide panicked eyes when he finally understood what had brought him out of sleep. Fire. A smell of smoke was spreading through the bunker and had reached Dean.

Without thinking, Dean abruptly pushed the sheets and threw himself out of bed, his heartbeats accelerating singularly in his chest. The first thing he managed to get out of his throat was the most obvious thing.

- "SAM!" He shouted, rushing blindly to the door of his room.

The smell, however light in the air, seemed to take hold of him all and made him dizzy, as if he had already swallowed whole liters of smoke. He refused to surrender to the painful memories that were passing through his mind when he finally found the door handle. The smell of burnt flesh. Flames. Tears. Cries. Take your brother outside as you fast as you can. Don’t look back. Now, Dean, GO!

- "Sammy!" Dean called in the hallway, his eyes desperately looking for any clues that the bunker was indeed on fire, that they had to get out of here as quickly as possible.

He discerned a net of smoke building up in the corridor and wondered vaguely why the smoke detectors had not yet activated. You couldn’t trust a high-tech bunker that was over 60 years old. Dean coughed poorly although the smoke wasn’t even thick enough to crawl into his throat and burn his lungs. It was as if his whole body reacted automatically to the sight of the fumes and drove him back into the middle of a fire. Again.

The hunter desperately wanted to go in the opposite direction and run as far away as possible from this place, but not without Sam. Not without his baby brother. This mission, to protect his younger brother at all costs, was literally his reason for living — had always been— and he preferred to die in flames rather than abandon Sam in a damn underground furnace. As a result, Dean stopped breathing as if by reflex and ran towards the smoke, following the trail to the source.

There was a time when Dean wanted to be a firefighter. Saving people, preventing other families from experiencing what he had experienced… He would have loved it. However, he would have laughed at himself considering how traumatized he was when he smelled the slightest hint of smoke if he were not so busy shouting Sam’s name.

His footsteps led him into the kitchen. Here, his entire vision was blurred by the amount of smoke in the room, covering everything with a gray and smothering veil. He had seen no sign of flame in his frantic course, but nothing was able to silence the frantic beats of his heart. He allowed himself to release his breath only when he saw Sam crouching on the ground in front of what seemed to be the oven.

- "Sam! What the hell is going on?" Dean exclaimed, failing to mask his obvious panic and anxiety.

Sam immediately turned his head towards him, in the door frame, his face hidden in the hollow of his elbow to protect himself from the smoke that came out of the oven in large quantities. At the same time, Dean noticed more movement to the right in the kitchen and recognized Castiel, his eternal trench coat and costume jacket having left his shoulders and leaving him only in a white shirt, the sleeves rolled up. He tried as hard as he could to ignore the burning chills that rose up on his body, licking his ribs.

- "We have to get out of here." Dean says, categorical, and he stepped forward with determination towards the two other occupants of the room to help them advance to the exit.

- "No, it’s okay." Sam said immediately. "I reversed the air pumps, we’re safe, we just have to…"

He does not finish his sentence, concentrating completely on the contents of the oven. With one hand, he grabbed potholders and plunged into the furnace, coming out a few seconds later with the grate, burning and completely blackened. On it lay a large, formless, charred mass from which much of the smoke escaped. Without further ado, Sam got up and brought the grate into the sink, throwing it and its contents into the sink before turning on the cold water tap as much as possible.

Straight away, the thermal shock caused water vapor while the grate finally cooled to the bottom of the sink. Sam and Castiel breathed a sigh of relief.

- "What the hell is going on?" Dean asked, having followed all the action with panicked and lost eyes.

Immediately, his brother and the angel exchanged a guilty look before Castiel turned to him, his eyes avoiding his own.

- "I… believe I tried to cook. And I obviously forgot to come and get the chicken and potatoes before they burned to the ground." He admits in a very small voice. "I’m sorry, Dean…"

Dean frowned at me.

- "What?" he said because he was still having trouble getting the information into his brain.

- "Everything is fine, it just made a lot of smoke, but we managed to avoid the worst." Sam shrugged, looking at what was left of the chicken with a disgusted face. "Well, I think so…"

- "I swear to you that the recipe did not stipulate that the meal could try to kill us if we did not show it enough attention." Castiel lamented, shaking his head with a defeatist air.

Dean put one hand in his hair and turned his back on them. A freaking, motherfucker chicken. Holy shit. A goddamn chicken with potatoes. He exhaled slowly, forcing himself to calm down while Sam tried to reassure Castiel behind him. However, he remained silent long enough to draw attention to himself again, with Dean now pacing the kitchen to regain some semblance of control over himself.

- "Dean?" Called Sam, raising an eyebrow at him.

- "Don’t ever do that again!" Dean said, pointing an accusing finger at Castiel with a severe face.

The angel seemed wounded, but nodded in spite of everything, looking down again like a child being scolded.

Dean sighed and passed a hand on his face, clearly on edge. He softened slightly before resuming his speech.

- "Next time just… wait until I show you how to use the oven. Please."

Castiel looked at him and nodded again, observing him for a long time as if he were trying to understand something particularly difficult to get. He doesn’t say anything though.

Dean nodded as well and turned a blank look at the still smoking oven. Okay. All he had to do was find something else to eat for tonight. He wasn’t even hungry anyway, his stomach still too tied up in the idea of losing his little brother and his best friend in something as stupid as a house fire. Traumas suck…

* * *

@winchester-reload

Here you go :). I wasn’t very inspired with today’s word, so I’m not truly satisfied with this one, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway ^^. Also, thank you for all the kind comments on my other Suptober days, you are awesome! See you tomorrow ^^

You can check my masterlist for the Suptober 2019 here

Tagging peoples cause why not :

@echooz @aliceollormusic @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover@styggtroll@thanks-tacos@petrichoravellichor@iamcharliebradburylevelperfect@ladywaywarddsc@hellfire37 @didnt-survive-twist-and-shout @destiel-221b-sabriel @aloha-cowgirl@alexia-kline-winchester@destielhoneybee@mylifeisbrulette@dysfunctional-destiel@ozonecologne@doofcas@castielrisingabove@zoerayne2426@tibbinswrites@naomishamiga @vicmc624 @thegirlofstarlight @berrieseveryday @staycejo1 @certaindeanwinchesterforcastiel

#suptober 2019 #suptober #suptoberart2019 #inktober #inktober2019 #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fanfic #day 14 #fire #trauma #dean winchester #castiel #Sam Winchester #spn fanfic #SPN

[samanthasroberts]

‘Vanderpump Rules’ Recap: I Have No Recollection

Last week on we found out that Jax probably cheated on Brittany more than once, and nobody was surprised. Also let me just say, fuck Bravo for doing this shit to me on New Year’s Day, aka national hangover day. And by “doing this shit to me,” I mean “airing their regularly scheduled programming.” My hangover is not prepared for this. Then again, my shame hangover is setting in, so maybe some good old-fashioned judging people who are stupider and richer than me might do me some good.

We open at Brittany’s apartment, where all the girls slept. Stassi ordering Taco Bell and drinking a beer first thing in the morning is very relatable and definitely not at all how I started the new year (*whispers to self* think they bought it?). Scheana is taking a private jet to Vegas with Lala and her sugar daddy boyfriend.

The Toms go to Villa Rosa to talk to Lisa about the restaurant. Lisa is lounging on her roof with her dogs and can’t be bothered—how I aspire to handle all my future business deals. Lisa says to Ken that she’s “ready to call it quits,” which is definitely not at all just a fabricated angle by the producers to make us give a shit about this restaurant. Honestly, this shit is annoying. This fake back-and-forth doesn’t make me care any more about Tom Tom. Just saying. 

Bravo is really doing the most with these flashbacks and the slow-mo sequence of Tom and Tom walking up to Lisa’s door. This isn’t ; we don’t need any flashy effects. Just give us the drama straight-up.

Lisa wants Tom and Tom to pay $120,000 for a 10% stake in the company, which IMO seems a little unfair. Like, Lisa employs these people. She knows how much they make. Specifically, she OF ALL PEOPLE should know that these barely employed bartenders don’t have 120 grand.

Lisa is like, “This is the deal, I’m not negotiating” but she also said to the camera that she just pulled that figure out of her ass. So… ?? Actual picture of Lisa Vanderpump:

They settle on 50 grand each for a 5% stake. I’m no Mark Cuban (I do watch a lot of though), but that doesn’t seem like the best deal. Like, can you really call yourself a business owner when you own 5% in said business?

Lisa: All I’m asking for is enthusiasm and positivity.

…Yeah, and 50 thousand dollars they probably don’t have. 

Jax comes home when all the girls are face-first in Taco Bell, yelling and screaming that Brittany is being dramatic. He’s like “People are dying of cancer everyday, this is not a big deal.” Or in other words:

Well given that Jax’s dad just died of cancer, that’s very dark. (May he rest in peace.) So then Brittany…goes over and starts hitting him and pushes him out the door, basically. Yep. Ten minutes into the episode and we’re already witnessing physical assault. Cool. But like, I’m so glad Jax and Brittany were able to work out their problems and stay together in this very healthy and functional relationship.

Jax says to Brittany, “Everything was fine until you started talking to your friends about it,” aka, “Everything was fine until you went to that damn party and your friends went and talked some sense into you.”

I know, right? Isn’t it such a drag when women form their own opinions and stand up for themselves? Can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ’em, amiright?

Sandoval calls Ariana to tell her the good news about them being partners with Lisa, and her response is basically “k”.

Stassi is talking to Katie about planning Guillermo’s party and she literally said “I didn’t know I was OCD.” So you like, make one to-do list and think you have OCD? Girl, bye.

Scheana’s packing for her trip to Vegas, and her closet looks like the fucking Piper Lime accessory wall on .

All the girls are like “violence is wrong but Brittany you’re doing amazing sweetie by hitting Jax.” I have no further comment at this time.

Lala comes over to Scheana’s, where Ariana is also hanging out (sitting on like, the floor of Scheana’s closet because reasons) and is talking about how well-off her married boyfriend is. Can you really make that much money from a mid-level film you produced like, three years ago? Seriously, look at this guy’s IMDB. He’s done, like, three movies. If you can get private jet money off of three movies nobody’s ever heard of, I’m packing my bags and going to film school.

Anyway, apparently Katie talked shit about Lala’s married boyfriend, and by that I mean Katie merely stated that Lala is dating someone who, at the time, was very much in the eyes of the law still married. Which, according to my research, is true. Or at least, it was at the time of filming. Separated =/= divorced—a lesson for all you kids at home.

Lala: Are you gonna mention my man again? Are you tryna get popped?

Ugh, Lala, take off your Compton beanie. You are a white girl from Utah. Stop. Lala is every white girl who sees once.

Lala calling her boyfriend “very much not married” is very much fake news. The divorce was only finalized like, last week. We all have the receipts.

Ok so Lala tells Ariana and Scheana that Schwartz supposedly made out with Lala’s friend Allie. Tbh I’m probably going to stalk Lala’s Instagram to figure out who she is. Stay tuned for that follow-up article. Also I’d just like to say, fuck Lala for being like “If you come for my man I’m gonna come for your marriage.” That gives us two scenarios: Either Lala is making this up as retaliation because she’s salty, or she was going to sit on this information until Katie pissed her off. Both are bad, especially if you claim to be friends with Katie.

I’m not really going to entertain the “Stassi planning Guillermo’s party” storyline because it’s obvious that she doesn’t really have anything to do with it. You can’t plan an event with two days’ notice; it’s literally impossible. This event has ben planned for months, I’m not stupid.

Jax and Schwartz are at some restaurant that serves fried guacamole, and I need to know the name of this restaurant immediately.

Jax tells Schwartz that he’s not going to show up to Guillermo’s party, which means he’s definitely going to show up to Guillermo’s party. Schwartz brings up the possibility of having an open relationship, and like, FINALLY somebody brought it up.

Jax is like “I don’t want that.” Jax. Jax. JAX. You want the emotional benefits of a relationship, but you are incapable of being monogamous. I feel like an open relationship is exactly what you want. Know yourself.

Stassi is freaking out about running a couple of errands, like picking up a cake and flowers before 5pm. Yeah I guess having a real job for 35 seconds might be kind of hard.

Stassi has a bar mitzvah sign-in book at this grown-ass man’s birthday party. Shit, maybe I should get into event planning.

Kristen is at this party for reasons unknown and wastes no time bringing up to Brittany how shitty Jax is. Don’t you have your own relationship to worry about? Why is she so invested in Jax’s relationship? Theory: Kristen is in love with Jax. More on this at 7.

James and Jax are drinking together, which is something I never thought I’d see. They’re doing shots of absinthe—how all responsible nights start out.

Ariana goes to Schwartz like “Can I steal you for a sec?” Sorry, can you tell I’d rather be watching rn?

Ariana is like “Soooo I heard you drunkenly made out with somebody in January/February.” But she’s ALSO like “But don’t tell Katie about this now, wait until you’re home.” So why even bring it up at this party? I know, too much logic.

Schwartz is like, “January or February? What is the meaning of those words?” So Schwartz’s immediate excuse is “IDK I don’t remember.” In other words, “Yeah I definitely did that.” Or in other words:

Meanwhile James and Jax are me and all my coworkers, getting wasted and taking selfies.

James: Absinthe tastes like a little green fairy that goes down your throat and rips your balls out your throat.

That’s not a taste, but ok. I really love this montage of their drunken babbling and I could watch an hour of James playing “got your nose” with Jax.

Jax is talking to James about his and Brittany’s sex life (again, things I never thought I’d see) and he’s like “she’s hate-fucking me.” Jax is explaining the Madonna/Whore complex. Wowowowow this is really advanced shit for Jax. I’m, dare I say, impressed. New year, new Jax?

Schwartz decides to tell Katie that he cheated on her in the middle of a crowded party. Fuck Schwartz. You don’t do this. I hated Katie last season, but damn. Nobody deserves to be publicly humiliated like that.

If I had a nickel for every time Schwartz said, “I have zero recollection of this” I could pay off my New Year’s Eve Uber. Also, what a weak excuse. You’re not even gonna deny you cheated? You’re just like, “Yea I probably did that, shrug life.”

Katie doesn’t even really seem that upset. She’s like “What did I do? Is this some kind of karmic punishment?” Not really, you just married the wrong person.

And what does Schwartz say? “Bubba, I have no recollection of this.” Contrary to what I tell myself when I’m hungover, even if you don’t remember something, that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. However, I may start using this anyway.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/vanderpump-rules-recap-i-have-no-recollection/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2019/01/11/vanderpump-rules-recap-i-have-no-recollection/

[adambstingus]

‘Vanderpump Rules’ Recap: I Have No Recollection

Last week on we found out that Jax probably cheated on Brittany more than once, and nobody was surprised. Also let me just say, fuck Bravo for doing this shit to me on New Year’s Day, aka national hangover day. And by “doing this shit to me,” I mean “airing their regularly scheduled programming.” My hangover is not prepared for this. Then again, my shame hangover is setting in, so maybe some good old-fashioned judging people who are stupider and richer than me might do me some good.

We open at Brittany’s apartment, where all the girls slept. Stassi ordering Taco Bell and drinking a beer first thing in the morning is very relatable and definitely not at all how I started the new year (*whispers to self* think they bought it?). Scheana is taking a private jet to Vegas with Lala and her sugar daddy boyfriend.

The Toms go to Villa Rosa to talk to Lisa about the restaurant. Lisa is lounging on her roof with her dogs and can’t be bothered—how I aspire to handle all my future business deals. Lisa says to Ken that she’s “ready to call it quits,” which is definitely not at all just a fabricated angle by the producers to make us give a shit about this restaurant. Honestly, this shit is annoying. This fake back-and-forth doesn’t make me care any more about Tom Tom. Just saying. 

Bravo is really doing the most with these flashbacks and the slow-mo sequence of Tom and Tom walking up to Lisa’s door. This isn’t ; we don’t need any flashy effects. Just give us the drama straight-up.

Lisa wants Tom and Tom to pay $120,000 for a 10% stake in the company, which IMO seems a little unfair. Like, Lisa employs these people. She knows how much they make. Specifically, she OF ALL PEOPLE should know that these barely employed bartenders don’t have 120 grand.

Lisa is like, “This is the deal, I’m not negotiating” but she also said to the camera that she just pulled that figure out of her ass. So… ?? Actual picture of Lisa Vanderpump:

They settle on 50 grand each for a 5% stake. I’m no Mark Cuban (I do watch a lot of though), but that doesn’t seem like the best deal. Like, can you really call yourself a business owner when you own 5% in said business?

Lisa: All I’m asking for is enthusiasm and positivity.

…Yeah, and 50 thousand dollars they probably don’t have. 

Jax comes home when all the girls are face-first in Taco Bell, yelling and screaming that Brittany is being dramatic. He’s like “People are dying of cancer everyday, this is not a big deal.” Or in other words:

Well given that Jax’s dad just died of cancer, that’s very dark. (May he rest in peace.) So then Brittany…goes over and starts hitting him and pushes him out the door, basically. Yep. Ten minutes into the episode and we’re already witnessing physical assault. Cool. But like, I’m so glad Jax and Brittany were able to work out their problems and stay together in this very healthy and functional relationship.

Jax says to Brittany, “Everything was fine until you started talking to your friends about it,” aka, “Everything was fine until you went to that damn party and your friends went and talked some sense into you.”

I know, right? Isn’t it such a drag when women form their own opinions and stand up for themselves? Can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ’em, amiright?

Sandoval calls Ariana to tell her the good news about them being partners with Lisa, and her response is basically “k”.

Stassi is talking to Katie about planning Guillermo’s party and she literally said “I didn’t know I was OCD.” So you like, make one to-do list and think you have OCD? Girl, bye.

Scheana’s packing for her trip to Vegas, and her closet looks like the fucking Piper Lime accessory wall on .

All the girls are like “violence is wrong but Brittany you’re doing amazing sweetie by hitting Jax.” I have no further comment at this time.

Lala comes over to Scheana’s, where Ariana is also hanging out (sitting on like, the floor of Scheana’s closet because reasons) and is talking about how well-off her married boyfriend is. Can you really make that much money from a mid-level film you produced like, three years ago? Seriously, look at this guy’s IMDB. He’s done, like, three movies. If you can get private jet money off of three movies nobody’s ever heard of, I’m packing my bags and going to film school.

Anyway, apparently Katie talked shit about Lala’s married boyfriend, and by that I mean Katie merely stated that Lala is dating someone who, at the time, was very much in the eyes of the law still married. Which, according to my research, is true. Or at least, it was at the time of filming. Separated =/= divorced—a lesson for all you kids at home.

Lala: Are you gonna mention my man again? Are you tryna get popped?

Ugh, Lala, take off your Compton beanie. You are a white girl from Utah. Stop. Lala is every white girl who sees once.

Lala calling her boyfriend “very much not married” is very much fake news. The divorce was only finalized like, last week. We all have the receipts.

Ok so Lala tells Ariana and Scheana that Schwartz supposedly made out with Lala’s friend Allie. Tbh I’m probably going to stalk Lala’s Instagram to figure out who she is. Stay tuned for that follow-up article. Also I’d just like to say, fuck Lala for being like “If you come for my man I’m gonna come for your marriage.” That gives us two scenarios: Either Lala is making this up as retaliation because she’s salty, or she was going to sit on this information until Katie pissed her off. Both are bad, especially if you claim to be friends with Katie.

I’m not really going to entertain the “Stassi planning Guillermo’s party” storyline because it’s obvious that she doesn’t really have anything to do with it. You can’t plan an event with two days’ notice; it’s literally impossible. This event has ben planned for months, I’m not stupid.

Jax and Schwartz are at some restaurant that serves fried guacamole, and I need to know the name of this restaurant immediately.

Jax tells Schwartz that he’s not going to show up to Guillermo’s party, which means he’s definitely going to show up to Guillermo’s party. Schwartz brings up the possibility of having an open relationship, and like, FINALLY somebody brought it up.

Jax is like “I don’t want that.” Jax. Jax. JAX. You want the emotional benefits of a relationship, but you are incapable of being monogamous. I feel like an open relationship is exactly what you want. Know yourself.

Stassi is freaking out about running a couple of errands, like picking up a cake and flowers before 5pm. Yeah I guess having a real job for 35 seconds might be kind of hard.

Stassi has a bar mitzvah sign-in book at this grown-ass man’s birthday party. Shit, maybe I should get into event planning.

Kristen is at this party for reasons unknown and wastes no time bringing up to Brittany how shitty Jax is. Don’t you have your own relationship to worry about? Why is she so invested in Jax’s relationship? Theory: Kristen is in love with Jax. More on this at 7.

James and Jax are drinking together, which is something I never thought I’d see. They’re doing shots of absinthe—how all responsible nights start out.

Ariana goes to Schwartz like “Can I steal you for a sec?” Sorry, can you tell I’d rather be watching rn?

Ariana is like “Soooo I heard you drunkenly made out with somebody in January/February.” But she’s ALSO like “But don’t tell Katie about this now, wait until you’re home.” So why even bring it up at this party? I know, too much logic.

Schwartz is like, “January or February? What is the meaning of those words?” So Schwartz’s immediate excuse is “IDK I don’t remember.” In other words, “Yeah I definitely did that.” Or in other words:

Meanwhile James and Jax are me and all my coworkers, getting wasted and taking selfies.

James: Absinthe tastes like a little green fairy that goes down your throat and rips your balls out your throat.

That’s not a taste, but ok. I really love this montage of their drunken babbling and I could watch an hour of James playing “got your nose” with Jax.

Jax is talking to James about his and Brittany’s sex life (again, things I never thought I’d see) and he’s like “she’s hate-fucking me.” Jax is explaining the Madonna/Whore complex. Wowowowow this is really advanced shit for Jax. I’m, dare I say, impressed. New year, new Jax?

Schwartz decides to tell Katie that he cheated on her in the middle of a crowded party. Fuck Schwartz. You don’t do this. I hated Katie last season, but damn. Nobody deserves to be publicly humiliated like that.

If I had a nickel for every time Schwartz said, “I have zero recollection of this” I could pay off my New Year’s Eve Uber. Also, what a weak excuse. You’re not even gonna deny you cheated? You’re just like, “Yea I probably did that, shrug life.”

Katie doesn’t even really seem that upset. She’s like “What did I do? Is this some kind of karmic punishment?” Not really, you just married the wrong person.

And what does Schwartz say? “Bubba, I have no recollection of this.” Contrary to what I tell myself when I’m hungover, even if you don’t remember something, that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. However, I may start using this anyway.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/vanderpump-rules-recap-i-have-no-recollection/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/181934270367

[allofbeercom]

‘Vanderpump Rules’ Recap: I Have No Recollection

Last week on we found out that Jax probably cheated on Brittany more than once, and nobody was surprised. Also let me just say, fuck Bravo for doing this shit to me on New Year’s Day, aka national hangover day. And by “doing this shit to me,” I mean “airing their regularly scheduled programming.” My hangover is not prepared for this. Then again, my shame hangover is setting in, so maybe some good old-fashioned judging people who are stupider and richer than me might do me some good.

We open at Brittany’s apartment, where all the girls slept. Stassi ordering Taco Bell and drinking a beer first thing in the morning is very relatable and definitely not at all how I started the new year (*whispers to self* think they bought it?). Scheana is taking a private jet to Vegas with Lala and her sugar daddy boyfriend.

The Toms go to Villa Rosa to talk to Lisa about the restaurant. Lisa is lounging on her roof with her dogs and can’t be bothered—how I aspire to handle all my future business deals. Lisa says to Ken that she’s “ready to call it quits,” which is definitely not at all just a fabricated angle by the producers to make us give a shit about this restaurant. Honestly, this shit is annoying. This fake back-and-forth doesn’t make me care any more about Tom Tom. Just saying. 

Bravo is really doing the most with these flashbacks and the slow-mo sequence of Tom and Tom walking up to Lisa’s door. This isn’t ; we don’t need any flashy effects. Just give us the drama straight-up.

Lisa wants Tom and Tom to pay $120,000 for a 10% stake in the company, which IMO seems a little unfair. Like, Lisa employs these people. She knows how much they make. Specifically, she OF ALL PEOPLE should know that these barely employed bartenders don’t have 120 grand.

Lisa is like, “This is the deal, I’m not negotiating” but she also said to the camera that she just pulled that figure out of her ass. So… ?? Actual picture of Lisa Vanderpump:

They settle on 50 grand each for a 5% stake. I’m no Mark Cuban (I do watch a lot of though), but that doesn’t seem like the best deal. Like, can you really call yourself a business owner when you own 5% in said business?

Lisa: All I’m asking for is enthusiasm and positivity.

…Yeah, and 50 thousand dollars they probably don’t have. 

Jax comes home when all the girls are face-first in Taco Bell, yelling and screaming that Brittany is being dramatic. He’s like “People are dying of cancer everyday, this is not a big deal.” Or in other words:

Well given that Jax’s dad just died of cancer, that’s very dark. (May he rest in peace.) So then Brittany…goes over and starts hitting him and pushes him out the door, basically. Yep. Ten minutes into the episode and we’re already witnessing physical assault. Cool. But like, I’m so glad Jax and Brittany were able to work out their problems and stay together in this very healthy and functional relationship.

Jax says to Brittany, “Everything was fine until you started talking to your friends about it,” aka, “Everything was fine until you went to that damn party and your friends went and talked some sense into you.”

I know, right? Isn’t it such a drag when women form their own opinions and stand up for themselves? Can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ’em, amiright?

Sandoval calls Ariana to tell her the good news about them being partners with Lisa, and her response is basically “k”.

Stassi is talking to Katie about planning Guillermo’s party and she literally said “I didn’t know I was OCD.” So you like, make one to-do list and think you have OCD? Girl, bye.

Scheana’s packing for her trip to Vegas, and her closet looks like the fucking Piper Lime accessory wall on .

All the girls are like “violence is wrong but Brittany you’re doing amazing sweetie by hitting Jax.” I have no further comment at this time.

Lala comes over to Scheana’s, where Ariana is also hanging out (sitting on like, the floor of Scheana’s closet because reasons) and is talking about how well-off her married boyfriend is. Can you really make that much money from a mid-level film you produced like, three years ago? Seriously, look at this guy’s IMDB. He’s done, like, three movies. If you can get private jet money off of three movies nobody’s ever heard of, I’m packing my bags and going to film school.

Anyway, apparently Katie talked shit about Lala’s married boyfriend, and by that I mean Katie merely stated that Lala is dating someone who, at the time, was very much in the eyes of the law still married. Which, according to my research, is true. Or at least, it was at the time of filming. Separated =/= divorced—a lesson for all you kids at home.

Lala: Are you gonna mention my man again? Are you tryna get popped?

Ugh, Lala, take off your Compton beanie. You are a white girl from Utah. Stop. Lala is every white girl who sees once.

Lala calling her boyfriend “very much not married” is very much fake news. The divorce was only finalized like, last week. We all have the receipts.

Ok so Lala tells Ariana and Scheana that Schwartz supposedly made out with Lala’s friend Allie. Tbh I’m probably going to stalk Lala’s Instagram to figure out who she is. Stay tuned for that follow-up article. Also I’d just like to say, fuck Lala for being like “If you come for my man I’m gonna come for your marriage.” That gives us two scenarios: Either Lala is making this up as retaliation because she’s salty, or she was going to sit on this information until Katie pissed her off. Both are bad, especially if you claim to be friends with Katie.

I’m not really going to entertain the “Stassi planning Guillermo’s party” storyline because it’s obvious that she doesn’t really have anything to do with it. You can’t plan an event with two days’ notice; it’s literally impossible. This event has ben planned for months, I’m not stupid.

Jax and Schwartz are at some restaurant that serves fried guacamole, and I need to know the name of this restaurant immediately.

Jax tells Schwartz that he’s not going to show up to Guillermo’s party, which means he’s definitely going to show up to Guillermo’s party. Schwartz brings up the possibility of having an open relationship, and like, FINALLY somebody brought it up.

Jax is like “I don’t want that.” Jax. Jax. JAX. You want the emotional benefits of a relationship, but you are incapable of being monogamous. I feel like an open relationship is exactly what you want. Know yourself.

Stassi is freaking out about running a couple of errands, like picking up a cake and flowers before 5pm. Yeah I guess having a real job for 35 seconds might be kind of hard.

Stassi has a bar mitzvah sign-in book at this grown-ass man’s birthday party. Shit, maybe I should get into event planning.

Kristen is at this party for reasons unknown and wastes no time bringing up to Brittany how shitty Jax is. Don’t you have your own relationship to worry about? Why is she so invested in Jax’s relationship? Theory: Kristen is in love with Jax. More on this at 7.

James and Jax are drinking together, which is something I never thought I’d see. They’re doing shots of absinthe—how all responsible nights start out.

Ariana goes to Schwartz like “Can I steal you for a sec?” Sorry, can you tell I’d rather be watching rn?

Ariana is like “Soooo I heard you drunkenly made out with somebody in January/February.” But she’s ALSO like “But don’t tell Katie about this now, wait until you’re home.” So why even bring it up at this party? I know, too much logic.

Schwartz is like, “January or February? What is the meaning of those words?” So Schwartz’s immediate excuse is “IDK I don’t remember.” In other words, “Yeah I definitely did that.” Or in other words:

Meanwhile James and Jax are me and all my coworkers, getting wasted and taking selfies.

James: Absinthe tastes like a little green fairy that goes down your throat and rips your balls out your throat.

That’s not a taste, but ok. I really love this montage of their drunken babbling and I could watch an hour of James playing “got your nose” with Jax.

Jax is talking to James about his and Brittany’s sex life (again, things I never thought I’d see) and he’s like “she’s hate-fucking me.” Jax is explaining the Madonna/Whore complex. Wowowowow this is really advanced shit for Jax. I’m, dare I say, impressed. New year, new Jax?

Schwartz decides to tell Katie that he cheated on her in the middle of a crowded party. Fuck Schwartz. You don’t do this. I hated Katie last season, but damn. Nobody deserves to be publicly humiliated like that.

If I had a nickel for every time Schwartz said, “I have zero recollection of this” I could pay off my New Year’s Eve Uber. Also, what a weak excuse. You’re not even gonna deny you cheated? You’re just like, “Yea I probably did that, shrug life.”

Katie doesn’t even really seem that upset. She’s like “What did I do? Is this some kind of karmic punishment?” Not really, you just married the wrong person.

And what does Schwartz say? “Bubba, I have no recollection of this.” Contrary to what I tell myself when I’m hungover, even if you don’t remember something, that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. However, I may start using this anyway.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/vanderpump-rules-recap-i-have-no-recollection/