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soulrph · 10 months

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chaotic unhinged lines from 2022-2023 (prompt edition).

basically in 2021 i made a list of prompts inspired by lines in tiktok videos and instagram reels that made me laugh so hard i cried! and now i have returned with another list! these may provide an alarmingly clear image of what my sense of humor is (aka broken) but i figure a little levity is always a good thing! more prompts are forthcoming, but in the mean time: bon appetit!

knowledge has always chased you, but you've always been faster.

no... no, that was mango apathy juice. from the farmer's market.

of all these people, you are the one i understand the least. i want to get to know you better, but like, not that much better.

i-i will CHEW YOUR MEAT!! WHAT are you doing?!

ooooh god, no, you wouldn't be long getting frostbit!

you are evil. like a hobbit.

WHY MUST YOU FAIL ME SO OFTEN?!?!!?

i have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

AHEM!! fill my cup.

may god ignore you like you ignored my greetings.

i will avenge you mister van gogh.

call off work bestie, we need you to solve a murder. here's fifteen dollars.

you're not in love. you may think you are, you dumb fuck, but you're not.

go ahead and put the ranch away.

sadly, "hopefully" doth butter no parsnips.

forget school, i want to be an italian sandwich.

you shouldn't skip work, you are a lawyer and he is a hamster.

you can stop roleplaying now. you're free.

her coupon game was so fucking raw.

i'm sorry guys... he's making a salad.

you could get a straight guy here if you learned to make a good pasta. i'll teach you how to make a risotto that'll get you married and out of my basement.

hey, do you want me to get together a plate of roast beef and hide it in our room so we can have night meats?

it's not the most ethical thing in the world, but in a pinch you can hand off a cursed object to basically any baby.

no, children, you're wrong. once upon a time, there was a piece of wood.

and i'm not saying she deserved it, but i am saying that god's timing is always riiiiight.

hydrate or die-drate, ya DICK!

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was DEAD.

new york city is a fictional place written up by someone with a sinister mind and a knack for comedy.

this is grindr my guy.

wait, i didn't finish teaching you the difference between human and wolf anatomy.

it's time to tell your grandmother that she was wrong. do not be afraid.

vanilla vodka... you fucking child.

without ash to rise from, a phoenix would just be a bird getting up.

you are fucking alive. do what you want.

why are you cradling me like a baby, friend? this isn't how guys of my generation hang out.

i hope a hedgehog shits in your cereal, you difficult person.

you know, i am not as mean as i would like to be. and i think people should appreciate that more.

see, i am not a kangaroo.

well, i'd like to help, but... you see... not as much as i'd like not to.

rest in peace you fucking onion fairy.

when god sings with all his creations, will a turtle not be part of the choir?

i fight for a seat in heaven, every. single. day.

map maker? can you find me somewhere on the map where this big man thinks he's the king?

you bald-headed demon...

so... there are 24 million pigs in australia... and 24 million people... so if you ever feel lonely, there's like, a pig out there that's sort of your cosmic twin.

remember, alcohol is god's apology for making us self-aware.

i'm straight!! stop CONFUSING me!!!!!

you guys want something to eat? because... i know we'll die if we don't eat.

he is a BIBLICALLY gorgeous man. i wanna feed him grapes. i wanna fan him with the frond of a date palm from the forests of Lebanon. i wanna find the alabaster vial of perfume oil that one woman broke for jesus and comb it through his hair. like... he's stressing me OUT.

i'm not sad! i'm freaking HUNGRY!

maybe, if we wait a little bit longer, a fuck will fall into my hand, and i can give it to you.

it's not my fault you thought you lived in this IKEA.

let's leave my mother out of this.

jason may kill people but he's not bad enough to kick a dog.

i run for LUMP!

oh no, i'm all out of caring, baby!

you don't think it mcbe that way... but it mcdo.

what is this enticing bowl of white?

serious question, do his nipples sparkle?

what in the reese's peanut butter fuck is going on here?

if your parents don't buy it, stop loving them!

i just hope you know just how much you've decreased productivity today.

that was poetry at its FINEST.

and if you let that motherfucker shenan ONCE, you best believe they're gonna shenanIGAN!

may god bless the dinosaur that died to make the fossil fuel that was treated to become petrol in the car that took her mom to the hospital to give birth to her.

that's modern milk for ya. what a time to be alive.

you have attachment issues. please fix it.

remember when people had secrets? we should bring that back.

the moon landing was an elaborate marriage proposal.

i don't like the cobra chicken.

i didn't know eggs were this expensive? it's time to lay my own, i fear.

so you're saying the reason i don't have a girlfriend is because i'm not a big enough threat yet.

god gave him a top lip, that's why he's so powerful.

it's a common mistake, but frankenstein was actually the author.

i finally got a pocket-sized diary!!! also i don't get the concept of life.

if a beautiful woman disagrees with me, i will immediately change my view. i've no principles.

how did you all end up married to such boiled potatoes?

if so much as one tear drops from their eye... i will slap you back into your mum.

you are ringing a phone that does not like to be rung.

look how Dr. doofenschmirtz had a fucked up childhood but didn't project his trauma onto his teenage daughter. he projected it onto a platypus.

it is mathematically impossible for you to get a wedgie.

i'm breaking up with you. i love you, it's just... i don't think you could protect me from a mummy.

if you can't do fractions....... you will fucking die.

that's right; in the year 1791, all of our bottoms were killed in a Big Bottom Massacre.

people always assume i'm mean. like CAN you BELIEVE THAT CRAP?! like WHAT would make you think i'm MEAN?! I'M THE NICEST PERSON ON THE PLANET!

the chocolate milk is strikingly overpriced and at the same time very easy to steal; another of god's little tests.

someone's gotta tell the waiter that i ordered mashed 'taters and it sure as shit ain't gonna be me.

if i had a week i couldn't list all the reasons that wouldn't work.

#rp meme #roleplay meme #sentence starters #dialogue prompts #writing prompts

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straightplayshowdown · 3 months

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Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead: Rosencrantz and Guildenstern have been summoned to Elsinore by the king, Claudius. He and Queen Gertrude, wish for Rosencrantz and Guildenstern to glean what sudden sway of madness has affected Hamlet. The duo sets out to achieve their task, meeting a ragged troupe of players along the way. Brief glimpses of scenes from Hamlet show the trials and tribulations of the royals; our two heroes are largely left in a state of waiting. They pass the time playing games, posing questions, and tossing coins, until they gradually realize that their fates have been taken out of their own hands. They are merely characters in a larger story in which they have no say.

Hamlet: Hamlet is home to mourn the death of his father. He is disgusted by the marriage of his mother to his uncle, Claudius, who now has the throne. The ghost of his father reveals to Hamlet that Claudius poisoned him in the ear. Hamlet vows to avenge his father’s murder. Hamlet’s sanity begins to be questioned by all. He accidentally kills Polonius, thinking it was Cladius. Ophelia has gone mad with grief over the death of her father. Claudius suggests that Laertes duel with Hamlet. From there, the play ends in tragedy.

Propaganda under the cut!

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead:

what if we were both minor characters in Hamlet forced to die over and over again in a timeloop and we were both guys 😳. basically one of the only modern straight plays i know and its just so good!!!!!!!! Rosencratz's death monolouge gets me everytime

This play is for people that love Shakespeare, but also love weird shit. It somehow offers really insightful commentary on stories and fate and purpose while also feeling like a fever dream.

an existential and brilliant deconstruction of hamlet

it’s good

Hamlet fanfic involving the game of questions and frequently not being on boats.

No, I'm tired sorry

waiting for godot meets hamlet. best of both worlds

A heartbreaking examination of the archetype “tragedy” — the knowledge that, essentially, the characters are doomed from the beginning, and cannot escape their fates, the inescapable feeling that they’re simply characters in a story. RAGAD treats the genre with comedy and makes two seemingly meaningless characters into an everyone’s favorite duo.

what if we were doomed by the narrative and flipped coins and licked feet and hid in barrels and hung out with a suspicious actor troupe who eventually turns against us and also we have to figure out what's up with hamlet because claudius told us to? and we were both boys? just kidding! ....unless?

I know the whole thing off by heard and I’ve never been in it. Does that count. Also it deserves to win because of what the awful awful film did to it.

Hamlet:

its hamlet. do i need to say anything more?

i mean. it just is the best play of all time. like it almost sucks that we peaked 400 years ago but it is the best play ever written and there's nothing you or i can do about that

it’s THE play

ghosts! revenge! madness! murder most foul! how could you possibly ask for more?

What a heartbreaking exploration of grief…

#rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead #hamlet #hamlet prince of denmark #round 3 #the straight play showdown #polls

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kisses-for-you · 5 months

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Jealous - Dick Grayson

Dick Grayson x Fem!Reader

Summary: Hank flirts with you jokingly but Dick doesn't like that.

Word Count: 1,015

"Good morning, everyone," the husky voice broke the morning's light atmosphere. Hank, with tousled bed hair, lethargically snags a cup from the upper cabinet, his gaze locking onto you in an instant. "You look good today, Y/N," he blurts out, seemingly oblivious to Dick's sly gaze or maybe deliberately choosing to ignore it.

"Thank you, Hank!" you respond, gracefully shrugging off the compliment with a warm smile, all the while Dick's frown deepens, a silent undercurrent of tension in the room.

The daily flirtation routine was starting to get on Dick's nerves. It had started with just innocent little compliments but soon progressed to touches and suggestive jokes. Was he exaggerating? Maybe. But the whole scene was stupid and he didn't like it. It didn't matter to him if Hank was just trying to be funny or if you really didn't pay attention to it, he was about to throw hands with the king of comedy if he didn't stop this soon.

Observing Hank's amused gaze and the mischievous grin on his face, Dick couldn't help but feel a rising frustration. "You know," Hank said, taking a casual sip from his cup, his eyes locking onto Dick's, knowing what he was about to say would cause Dick to absolutely lose it. Hank continues, his words dripping with confidence, "We would make a great couple. I mean, you're a beautiful girl, and I'm pretty handsome. We'd be a power couple without a doubt."

Dick clenches his jaw, the muscles working overtime. He's about two seconds away from intervening and teaching Hank a lesson. The way you laughed at Hank's joke didn't make him feel any better.

You notice Dick's sudden change in behavior, his eyes narrowing with frustration, and realize he's about to start walking over to Hank. You have to ease the tension. "I'm sorry to tell you, but Dick and I are the ultimate power couple," you say, injecting a hint of playful confidence into your words. A small smile plays on your face, hoping to ease the building tension in the air.

Not even that managed to soothe his frayed nerves. Dick needed to step aside and cool down. This whole fiasco was really pissing him off and he wasn't sure what to do. Leaning in, he whispers in your ear that he needs to go finish some paperwork in your shared bedroom before leaving abruptly. Despite the urge to follow him, you decide not to. He probably needs some time to himself. Instead, you stay in the kitchen with Hank, joking around with one another.

Dick didn't like to label himself as the jealous type. He didn't mind you having guy friends, being nice to other men or anything like that. But that scene was just too much for him. Even after hours, Dick could still feel the rage bubbling in his chest, which seemed to refuse to be extinguished by mundane paperwork. Rubbing his weary eyes, the pronounced bags beneath them reveal the exhaustion that he's feeling.

You decide it's time to talk to Dick. You walk over to your bedroom, knocking on the door before entering. He turns around at the sound of the door opening. "You okay, Dick?" your sweet voice asks.

His sigh conveys a mix of weariness and frustration, and as you step into the room with genuine concern, he averts his eyes, grappling with unspoken emotions, knowing that his anger is aimed at Hank, not you. "Yeah, I'm fine," he says nonchalantly, trying to brush off the question.

You chew on your bottom lip, sensing that now might not be the ideal time to comfort Dick. "Really? Because it didn't seem like that when we were in the kitchen," you venture cautiously. Dick lets out an exasperated huff.

He takes a seat on the edge of the bed, running a frustrated hand through his tousled brown hair, already annoyed by how this conversation was going. "Well, maybe it's because Hank was flirting with you."

You sigh, knowing he's annoyed with you. "We're just friends, Dick. It's not a big deal-" But before you can continue, he cuts you off. "Don't start with that bullshit." His interruption is sharp. "I'm not comfortable seeing Hank touching you and talking to you as if he was your boyfriend, okay? It pisses me off. I'm fine if you two are friends, but that kind of shit just gets on my nerves."

"So you're jealous?" You respond, starting to walk over to him. Dick's stare intensifies, his expression serious. There were a few things that could trigger him, but you couldn't believe that something like this could put him in such a bad mood. "Hank just does that to mess with you. He told me himself." Dick stayed silent. That was still awful for him.

"Hey, don't be upset. You know you're the only one for me," you reassure, feeling the need to bridge the emotional gap. He lets out a small hum, wrapping an arm around your waist. "Dick, you're the man I love, alright?" You tilt your head, locking eyes with him and closing the distance. "I love you, flaws and all," you confess, your arms finding their place around his neck.

Dick's lips curl into a faint smile at your confession. "Yeah?" he asks in a gentle tone, allowing a subtle vulnerability to break through his serious demeanor.

"Of course," you respond. The air crackled with tension as Dick closed the distance between you with a heated kiss. His grip on your waist tightened, sending a rush of warmth through you.

The frustration that had gripped Dick seemed to melt away in that moment, replaced by the warmth of your reassurance. Breaking away, he rests his forehead against yours, a soft smile playing on his lips. "Sorry for being a bit of an ass back there," he says, his voice carrying a mixture of regret and relief.

You chuckle lightly, brushing a strand of hair from his forehead. "Apology accepted. Just remember, I'm all yours," you say, your words punctuated by a tender peck on his cheek.

#dick grayson x reader #titans!dick grayson #dick grayson #dc titans #imagine

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gojos-thot-patrol · 9 months

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Sukuna, funny, "You seem really thirsty, have you considered drinking water?"🌶️please🫶

Oh man, idk why but I really struggled with this one! I think it's cause I always get in my head and worry that you guys won't vibe with my comedy?? I don't know. BUT in the end, I'm happy with the result!

Now Presenting...

Starring: Ryomen Sukuna, and a reader that just wants to know peace

Sukuna leaned back in the natural hot springs, closing his eyes and letting the warm water relax his sore muscles. He hated it here. The hot water made the oppressive, muggy summer air even more suffocating, and the open nature of the hot springs left him vulnerable to attack. But supposedly, emphasis on supposedly, the water had a healing property. It was supposed to mend his wounds, give him more energy, a longer life, amazing head, or some shit like that. This water was supposed to be God's gift to man according to the village's religious radicals, but so far the only thing it was giving Sukuna was heat stroke.

"Oh, I'm sorry My Lord, I didn't think you'd be here," a familiar voice said. Sukuna slowly opened his eyes and let a grin slip. Before him stood his favorite concubine. Maybe this spring could do good on one of its promises after all. "May I join you?" You asked.

"You may." Ryomen said, his eyes burning into you as you dropped your robe. Sukuna had seen your naked form countless times before, and every time excited him more than the last. You were beautiful, more breathtaking than any mere mortal had any right to be. And you were all his. Who wouldn't be excited about that? He watched your every movement like a hawk: the way you slowly lowered yourself into the water, how your chest puffed out when you went to stretch your shoulders, and the glimmer in your eye when you caught him staring.

"Enjoying the show?" You asked.

"Isn't that joke a little over done?" He asked back, tilting his head like a lost puppy. You couldn’t help but giggle.

"Ok, fine then, be like that. I just won't banter with you anymore" you shrugged, playfully sticking your tongue out at him

"You should put that tongue back in your mouth before I give you something to do with it." Sukuna warned, raising an eyebrow to prove the point.

"I can't tell if that's a threat or an invention to be honest," you confessed, throwing his expression back at him. He shrugged in return.

"I'm waiting to find out which one it is myself." He admitted

"Well keep waiting." You scoffed, "I'm here to get clean, not harassed by a pervert."

"Why not do both?"

"Because I get enough of the latter at the temple I live at. The lord of the place is obsessed with me," you faux bragged, "every time he sees me he has to put his hands on me in some way, or his cock inside me."

"He sounds like a great guy." Sukuna grinned, "he has great taste in women, I bet he's smart too. And handsome and-"

"Deeply annoying." You cut him off before he could get too full of himself. "He's an arrogant bastard with zero control of his temper. Honestly, I'm shocked he hasn't killed me yet." To be fair, Sukuna was shocked he hadn't killed you yet too. He'd thought about it, countless times. Hell, he was thinking about it right now. But, something about you was too endearing to him for him to actually go through with the act.

“With a mouth like that, I’m shocked too. You must be a phenomenal lay.” In theory, that was Sukuna dolling out one of his rare compliments, though, the tone of voice had the edge of an insult to it. Not being really sure how to respond, you focused on your original goal: bathing and relaxing. You cupped your hands under the water, bringing it up and letting it flow over your head and limbs. You could feel scarlet eyes studying your body as you did so, watching the way spring trickled down the curves of your body. You looked over at the king of curses, and was positive that this is what a mouse felt like once an owl decided it was for dinner.

“You look thirsty!” You said, trying to take your nerve back, “Have you considered drinking any water?”

“No actually, I haven’t.” Sukuna said, swimming over to you. He brushed a lock of your wet hair behind your ear, sending cool shivers down your spine, “It’s a good idea though.”

“Thanks, I thought of it all by myself.” you beamed. He couldn’t help but smirk back as he took your hips in his hands, pulling you closer to him.

“Did you now?” he hummed, “Well in that case, I have to try it.” He picked you up under the water and rested you on his hips, prompting you to wrap your legs around him. You already weighed next to nothing to him, but thanks to the water you might as well have been made of air. His lips found your collar bone. He ran his tongue up your neck, lapping up the water that was dripping down it.

Which…was quite frankly unsanitary as hell, and definitely not recommended. But I mean, He was a curse so, what did he have to fear from doing that? Dying? Hardly. And besides, the little sounds you made as he left his mark on you made it worth it. You felt his teeth dig into you, right where your jaw met your neck, and felt the subsequent bruise bloom there. You tangled your fingers into his fluffy pink hair, tugging softly as you happily accepted his affections. He moved the two of you to the edge of the water, and laid you down on the bank, spreading your legs nice and pretty for him.

“It’s been awhile since we’ve been alone, “ Sukuna noted, placing a villainously gentle kiss to the inside of your thigh.

“I mean, we're technically not alone now,” You reminded him, never having been one to hold your tongue, “Anyone could walk up on us at any moment.”

“Good.” Sukuna chuckled, “I hope they do.” Before you could say anything smart, Ryomen ran his tongue along your slit and to your clit, sucking sharply at the bundle of nerves. You yelped in response, both hands finding his hair again as pleasure coursed through you. His mouth sent electric ripples of pleasure through you, turning you into putty in his hands.

“Fu-fuck me..” You muttered softly, only for annoyance to fill you as he removed his head from in between your thighs.

“Really, that fast?” He asked, attempting to move up your body. Key word, attempting as you very quickly pushed him back down.

“Oh no, you’re not done down there yet.”

“But you said-!”

“Get to work!” you demanded. Ryomen rolled his eyes, trying to hide his chuckle as he resettled in between your legs. Any other woman would have been slaughtered for such disrespect, but you knew you were special; and you had no intention of using that power for good. Ryomen worked quicker this time, licking his initials into your clit while two of his long fingers slipped inside you, quickly finding your g-spot. Molten heat pooled in your stomach with every movement from him, building up into an inferno of bliss and desire.

“Fuck Ryo-!” You tried to warn him, but pleasure overtook you before you could, a volcano erupting inside of you spreading hellfire and ecstasy through every corner of your body. Your legs clamped down around Ryomens head, locking him in place. Not that he was complaining, he gladly ate you out though your climax, feeling the way your thighs trembled around his temples. You gushed into his mouth, filling his senses with nothing but you. Yea, he couldn't really breath super well, but that was fine with him. Really, what better way to die than in between the legs of a beautiful woman?

Before he could make peace with whatever higher power he was about to meet though, your legs went limp. Jagged breaths raked through your body, leaving you shaking like a leaf. You looked adorable like that, vulnerable and dazed from pleasure. He pulled you back into the water with him, bracing you on his hips.

“Feel good, slut?” He asked, already positioning you over his cock.

“So good..” You muttered, bracing yourself for what you knew was next, “You did a good job, like eight outta ten.”

“Well, you- wait, only eight?!” He was so genuinely offended by the number you had to laugh at him.

“That’s what I said,” You shrugged, “You’ve done better.”

“I’ll show you better,” He growled, lowering you into his thick cock. Your body tensed at the feeling, and the tight sound you let out was a little more than embarrassing. “Let's go for a perfect score this time.” He chuckled. You dug your nails deep into his shoulders as he nestled himself inside of you, stretching you to your very brink. No matter how many times you took Sukuna, it always felt like the first, and it always made you feel dizzy with pleasure.

“You feel so fucking good,” He groaned, bucking his hips up into you, perfectly stroking your g-spot, “It’s almost like you were made to be my cocksleeve.” he set a punishing pace, using the water to help bounce you on him. It reawakened your previously fried nerves, making you feel alive with electricity. A coil started to quickly form in your stomach, your overly sensitive body treating every tingle it felt like an explosion. You moaned out his name. Or at least you were pretty sure you did. Honestly, your senses were kinda hazy right now, the only thing that felt real was the cock absolutely punishing your insides.

“You were a lot of talk before slut, what happened?” Sukuna mocked, “What happened? Nothing left to say.”

“Fuck you.” You moaned out.

“You are.” Sukuna noted. He could feel his own climax coming on fast. You were warm, and the way your cunt pulled him in made him feel feral. He had to do something quick, because he’d be damned if he came before you did. You screamed as you felt a warm tongue lap at your clit, the new stimulation sending you into overdrive. You looked down into the clear water to see he opened another mouth. It was an obscene display.

“Enjoying the show?” Sukuna laughed. You growled as you bit down on his neck, which only added fuel to his fire.

“You're gonna have to bite harder than that to leave a mark Y/n.” he said, punctuated with a particularly rough thrust. It sent you overboard, spiraling head first into bliss. Your head felt like it was filled with cotton and your blood felt like it was made of smoke. You felt light as wave after wave of euphoria overtook you, pulling you under the sea of endorphins.

Sukuna wasn’t far behind. The clenching of your cunt coupled with the way your teeth sank into him brought him over, cumming deep inside of you. He fucked you through both of your highs, drawing your pleasure out for every seconds he could. In the aftermath he leaned against the bank of the spring, holding you close to his chest while you regained the strength to walk back to the temple.

“So how was that?” Suluna asked, running his claws through your hair. You laughed a bit and nodded.

“Nine out of ten.”

“Nine?!”

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #ryomen sukuna #sukuna x reader #sukuna x reader smut #ryomen sukuna x reader smut #ryomen sukuna x reader #nobody likes you when you're 23 #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut

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gentlebeardsbarngrill · 25 days

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04/04/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Rhys/Rosie/Theo; Kristian Nairn; Nathan Foad; Jes Tom; Samba Schutte; Dominic Burgess; Watch parties; Glaad Awards Reminder; SaveOFMDCrew's Final Charity Donations; Fan Spotlight; Cast Cards; Big Gay Energy Podcast; OFMD Sightings; Articles; Love Notes; Daily Darby/Today's Taika

Hey all! Sorry for the late recap again, as a heads up I'm doing late night work for my day job (sometimes 8pm - 1 am) and also still trying to get my taxes done by the 15th, so the recaps may be delayed til the following morning depending on how late I have to work.

= Rhys & Rosie =

Rhys and Rosie's bday happened in AoNZ and some friends snapped some cute pics and videos!

Src: H.Miller's IG

Sneaky Rhys arm today! The Darby Family Influencer Era seems to be in full swing!

Edit: I felt kinda weird plastering Theo's face up so I left in Rhys' arm since people keep asking for it, lol

Src: Rosie's IG Stories

= Nathan Foad =

Src: Kennett Tanner's IG Nathan was also interviewed by British Comedy Guide!

= Dominic Burgess =

Our Jeffrey Fettering was interviewed by Variety! Check it out here! Src: Dominic's Twitter

= Kristian Nairn =

Kristian sent us some love notes!

"Looking forward to all the work / travel / meeting you guys stuff coming up this year. Have a good day y’all !!" SRC: Kristian's IG

= Samba Schutte =

Samba being a goofball Src: Samba's IG Stories

= Jes Tom =

Some sightings of Jes Tom! On their instagram! SRC: Jes Tom's IG Stories

== Watch Parties ==

Taskmaster NZ Series 1 Watch Party with @saveofmdcrewmates! When: April 3-12 (W,F, Su - 2 eps each) Time: 11 am PT/ 2pm ET/ 7pm BST Where to watch: YouTube, TVNZ, Channel 4

Twitter Hashtags:

#Quartermaster

#OurFlagMeansDeath

#Taskmaster

== GLAAD Awards ==

Apparently you can vote multiple times with the same email on the GLAAD awards! To vote: https://t.co/dEfZMncBfO Src: @adoptourcrew Twitter

== Save OFMD Crew Final Charity Donation Results ==

$1000 GBP to @Mermaids_Gender (UK) mermaidsuk.org.uk

$2,028 NZD to RainbowYouth (AoNZ) ry.org.nz

$1216 USD to Point Foundation (US) pointfoundation.org

== Fan Spotlight ==

= Cast Cards =

Our dear @melvisik spotlighted King George I today! Angus Sampson did such an excellent job making the kind unhinged! Check him out in his other work!

= Big Gay Energy Podcast =

New reaction video to Calypso's Birthday!

== Other ==

Thank you @oluwandesorange on twitter for pointing out the the OFMD billboards are STILL UP

== Articles ==

“I’m Scared”: Why It’s a Brutal Time to Be a TV Writer

Coyote versus Warner Bros: The fight to get a movie released

Hulu Just Canceled Another Show After One Season, And I'm Getting Really Tired Of It

== Love Notes ==

Hey lovelies! The week is almost over! Was it busy for you? Have you been hanging in there? I do want to know! I think about you all every day, even when I'm busy with work.

I know you've heard it all before, but please take some time to practice some self care today. It's been a long week for a lot of folks and you've been through the ringer from various life events. Please drink some water, grab a snack, stick your nose out the window (weather permitting) and take a deep breath of fresh air.

The weekend is coming, and the more self care you practice, the easier things will be. Ebbs and Flows babe, everything ebbs and flows, and sometimes we get longer ebbs, and longer flows -- but we can brave them better if we take care of ourselves.

You deserve to be taken care of. You deserve a break.

Love you crew, reach out if you wanna talk ok?

Pic Src: @gladyourehereco on IG

== Daily Darby / Today's Taika ==

Today's theme is these two goofballs expressive eyebrows.

Daily Darby: Courtesy of @ thunderwingdoomslayer

Today's Taika: Courtesy of @neverswungonswingingstars

#daily ofmd recap #ofmd daily recap #ofmd daily recaps #daily ofmd recaps #rhys darby #kristian nairn #samba schutte #jes tom #nathan foad #dominic burgess #ofmd #our flag means death #save ofmd #adopt our crew #charities #long live ofmd

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ktsumu · 4 months

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Hello Kit! I have been possessed by Takahiro Hanamaki brainrot for the past couple of days. He is my absolute favorite. Do you have any thoughts about him?

if it's involving the seijoh 4 i'm going to have thoughts about it.

most is under the cut because unlike suna’s, this is literally a mess of sfw and nsfw sorry friends

overall, trust fund baby!makki is my favourite. i feel like it's so funny and would explain how the motherfucker NEVER has a job. if anyone in that group is a dealer, it might just be him! (MR i hope you see this)

he’s such a dork too. you two play cards and losses are DEVASTATING. he loses go fish and slumps out of his chair and dramatically drops his cards on the table and

if matsukawa is the king of the deepstroke makki is the king of doggy overall. on the couch? doggy. on the bed? doggy. in the car? doggy. outside on the grass? doggy. in the doghouse? doggy

since he’s the group TFB, all of the seijoh 4 make puppy dog eyes at him when they go out to eat. they’ll have a six dollar sandwich and they’re like ughhhhh this is soooo expensiveeeee

he gives in every time

also makki is so good at aftercare too, sort of funny with it too. will make an ill timed joke when he’s cleaning you up with a towel and evilly laugh when he dodges the pillow you swing down at him

suck his dick and he’ll see god, he’s a blowjob man

favourite place to have sex is probably your bed BUT don’t disqualify him as a car sex guy because i firmly think he is. he takes pride in making you willing to fuck him in a car and the aspect of being in semi public

he has such good car sex playlists too like it’s his normal playlist but it works a little too well. everything is planned.

you pick your side of the bed. it doesn’t matter if he’s slept on that side for all four years he’s lived in his apartment, when you move in and choose that one it is YOURS

hogs the sheets though so now there’s an extra blanket at the bottom of the bed in case he does it again

also makki hasn’t read a book in 5 years so if you’re a bedtime reader, buy him one and he’ll actually read with you because he’s sweet like that

his favourite genre of movies is comedy but he fucks up a psych thriller (when you ask he says it’s whatever yours is but whatever)

he buys you flowers but they have absolutely RIDICULOUS cards in them. like “thanks for letting me cum inside” or “happy toaster-versary” (the year after you bought him a new toaster when you realized only one side of his was working)

he's very boyfriend but also really wants to be husband. ♡

#this took so long sorry violet mwah #i LOVE makki though like any of the seijoh 4 is good #makki x reader #nsfuu

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bthump · 6 months

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What are your thoughts or analyses on the phallic imagery in berserk? Less so the more obvious ones like seen in Casca’s nightmares which are obviously pointing to her sexual trauma, but like we see with the vagina-esque monsters and how Guts’ sword is alluded to being like a penis in some cases. Sorry if it’s a weird question lol

Sorry for the wait on this lol, I was on vacation for a while, and it's also a topic I wanted to spend some time on because I love it and I wanted to be relatively thorough. Thanks for the ask!

So yeah, disclaimers out of the way, Freudian analytical theory is very silly, very gender essentialist in ways that can often be transphobic and misogynist, and as far as I'm aware pretty much wholly unrelated to real psychology. Back in the 70s and 80s you had film theorists who took it seriously as a genuine glimpse into the subconsciousness of humanity or whatever, but now it's pretty much just a readily available source of sex and gender related symbolism that's easy to understand.

And in Berserk I do genuinely think it's a valid lens to view the story through because Miura is often quite heavy handed in utilizing it as symbolism. I mean, Guts literally gives someone an orgasm by stabbing her at one point. Some of this can definitely be a stretch, taking established symbols and running with them, but some of it is also almost certainly purposeful. I'll leave it to you to decide what you see as legit and what you see as stretching believability here.

This is very long lol

So yeah, it starts off strong in Berserk with Guts' oversized sword. Swords are dicks, ie sources of masculine power, especially in Berserk

and in the context of the story the dragonslayer is Guts overcompensating imo. And it's not compensating for a small dick lol, which would be more the purview of comedy, but for a loss of masculinity, ie Guts' childhood abuse from Gambino, and rape trauma. It's about his need to prove himself because he was made to feel like he had to, imo.

And it's not just the size of his sword, his obsession with it is also a major factor. He has a grandiose speech about how his sword is like a part of his body (hmm) and that it's been at his side through everything and he's always relied on it. The dream he lands on is to be the best and strongest sword fighter ever. He's currently having a breakdown over not being able to hit someone with his sword. He has a recurring tendency to break other guy's swords lol. At one point Casca screams at him that he essentially cares about his sword more than her. etc etc.

In the story dreams are at odds with emotionally healing human relationships, and dreams are represented by swords (Guts' sword obviously, Casca becoming Griffith's sword, Griffith calling the throne a sword while taunting the king in the dungeon as well as his vision of himself throwing him a sword and pointing to the castle in chapter 72).

So through a Freudian lens, Guts' sword can also be said to represent emotional isolation, positioning masculinity as emotionally isolating. Which, yk, fits with Griffith also equating dreams and masculinity in his Promrose Hall speech (a man must achieve a dream before he can have a family or lover) and, I suppose lol, Casca getting "softer" and more feminine as she falls for Guts, as femininity is therefore the opposite: emotional reliance on and support of others.

So if swords are dicks, then it follows that wounds are vaginas, ie yonic symbols. Also pretty obvious when you read some of the lines during the Guts and Casca sex scene lol. "I too want a wound I can say you gave me." These can represent weakness and victimization (I did warn for misogyny lol) and/or (often sexual) relationships and emotional openness.

So you have the relationships - "licking wounds" with Casca; Guts letting Casca stab him when he thinks about abandoning Griffith; the Beast of Darkness calling Casca the wound Griffith left so Guts can keep feeling the pain Griffith caused; Griffith scratching his own shoulder where Guts' sword pointedly didn't wound him; Griffith being out of reach of Guts' sword post-Eclipse; "let's give him a heap of raw iron;" and Farnese grinding on Guts' sword while possessed and Slan directly treating being stabbed as sexual penetration for the most obvious examples...

Also I'd argue that any time Guts gets his ass kicked in a fight it functions as an echo of his rape trauma symbolically and subconsciously to Guts. Both kinda obviously at times, like eg when Slan overpowers him and tears off his shirt while wounding his chest, and kisses him after the stabbing, causing Guts to feel a burst of fear

or when Rosine stabs Guts through the mouth as another enemy who flirts with Guts mid-fight. And of course the first duel with Griffith in which Guts unilaterally sets the stakes to sex slavery because he's projecting.

But also a little more subtlely, such as when Zodd is given the same position as Nightmare Donovan in Guts' concussion nightmare after he kills Adonis, or all this consistent imagery that rapists and apostles tend to get.

Or, interestingly, the way the Berserk armour functions as self-harm as Guts fights by penetrating Guts to "heal" him.

Something that solidifies its hold over Guts and makes him lose more and more of his positive humanity to his urge to kill.

So yeah, from a Freudian angle I'd suggest that Guts is driven to fight to reclaim the sense of masculine power he was stripped of when he was raped, and every fight can be said to be a repetition of his rape trauma in which he (usually) successfully fights back, but also continuously retraumatizes himself rather than healing.

I'm going to delve a little deeper into how phallic and yonic symbols intersect with the characters' relationships now that we've outlined some of the preliminary symbolism, starting from the Golden Age.

The first duel between Guts and Griffith is rife with Freudian symbolism, very overtly. Griffith stabs Guts and then Guts proceeds to have a nightmare about his rape trauma. Then he projects that trauma onto Griffith when he assumes Griffith wants to fuck him and adds sexual stakes to their duel. Then, yk, he takes Griffith's sword into his mouth lol.

Griffith winning by dislocating Guts' arm can be easily taken as a symbolic unmanning/castration, nicely introducing us into Guts' three years of growth towards prioritizing relationships instead of aimless sword-swinging to prove himself. It's also suggestive of penetration when you're primed to look for sexual symbolism (and if Guts offering Griffith his ass and then biting a sword doesn't prime you for it, what does?):

And the two of them losing their swords in the course of the fight and resorting to unarmed combat can also be taken as a telling symbol of the conflict between dreams and their relationship with each other. They lose the symbols of their dreams and contend only with each other, in a more positive contrast to the second duel that ends their relationship, in which they fight only with swords and never touch each other.

Wounds come into it when Griffith nearly gets killed rushing in against Zodd to save Guts, leading to the most impactful moment of their relationship, where Griffith admits he did it solely for Guts' sake and had no other reason. Griffith also points out how wounded Guts is after that fight, in what I'd call a nearly flirtatious way:

And if you follow these symbols completely strictly this scene suggests Guts retreating into his defensive masculinity in his sword exercises after being defeated/emasculated by Zodd and accused of not valuing his personal relationships by Casca, and finally finding a new, more constructive purpose for his sword after Griffith essentially confesses his devotion to him.

Dedicating his sword to Griffith in return for the wounds Griffith suffered for his sake, with, it has to be noted when the topic is freudian symbolism, his sword held at exactly crotch level.

In the second duel Guts destroys Griffith's sword before leaving, a symbolic castration which is most likely intended to represent and foreshadow Griffith's subsequent loss of power when he throws his life away and ends up tortured in a dungeon for a year. More interestingly imo, is Griffith tracing scratch-markes on his shoulder after sleeping with Charlotte and while crying over Guts - the same shoulder Guts' sword didn't quite hit when he won the duel, drawing attention to the lack of a wound by Guts' hand, a wound he created himself and traces in his devastation.

You have a nice... I don't know what the comic terminology is lol so I'm just going to call it a match-cut here, with Griffith and Casca both getting penetrated by the same number of arrows/skewers, to signify Griffith and the Hawks' fall from power, in contrast to Guts' growing phallic power as he pursues his sword swinging. Power which he demonstrates when he returns and saves the Hawks and Casca and Griffith by swinging his sword a lot and defeating a lot of powerful enemies and, if I'm gonna be crass, healing Casca's suicidal despair with his dick lol.

Interestingly though, before he does that he lets Casca stab him while experiencing the guilt of having driven Griffith into a torture chamber by leaving. It's a wound that highlights his emotional connection to Griffith and vulnerability to those emotions, even as he tries to deny them. He then manages to successfully deny them for a little while longer after having sex with Casca.

In this Freudian context, Guts and Casca's sex scene is an affirmation of a relationship, but one which is emotionally uneven, with Casca ready and willing to emotionally rely on and support Guts, but Guts still dedicated to his sword-swinging dream, inviting Casca with him but only as long as she doesn't get in the way of what he wants to do. This does fit with phallic symbols being associated with emotional distance and yonic symbols being associated with emotional closeness lol. (Also fittingly, the one way he does open up to her is about his rape trauma after a flashback.)

It's worth noting that in this disconnect Casca erroneously assumes Guts fought the hundred men and "bled" for her, making her want "a wound" from him in return. Guts fighting those hundred men is much more reminiscent of his fights against apostles, the fights that revolve around replaying his rape trauma to make himself feel better. Casca assumes they already have an emotional bond due to Guts' wounds, but she's wrong - Guts specifically thinks to himself during the hundred man fight that he's not doing it for Casca.

This is reflected in the Wyald fight when Guts insists on fighting Wyald, again as part of the whole reaffirmation of masculinity thing I outlined at the start of this, when Casca just wants him to run away. The Wyald fight is pretty overt about being about Guts' rape trauma imo, moreso than most fights in the story. Wyald's rapiness is made a point of from Guts' point of view when he sees him wielding the torso of a woman sexually impaled on a pike and gets extra angry, and when he literally cuts off Wyald's dick when he's about to rape Casca, and then has his pointed line about needing to "settle the score with him... with them... by his own sword."

SO ESSENTIALLY to sum up this subsection, I think you can argue that what prevents Guts and Casca from being an equal relationship is Guts stlil being hung up over needing to prove his masculine power through sword-swinging, rather than embracing his emasculation (which, remember, tends to signify positive relationships in this context) and coming to terms with it ("immersing himself in sorrow" as Godo says much later.)

Like, to return to Griffith, it's fitting that after Guts destroys his sword and he goes through a year of torture and is thoroughly emasculated, he's able to recognize his feelings for Guts and understand that Guts is more important to him than the dream, the "sword called the throne."

But he doesn't quite come to terms with his emasculation either. This symbolism is one explanation for the wagon scene where he propositions Casca - a desperate bid for some form of power. Not the strongest explanation imo, but since we're currently in the business of actively looking for this symbolism, it definitely fits. Casca's rejection and pity reinforce Griffith's emasculation, and overhearing her tell Guts to leave again is the final straw. Relationships are a bust, swords are now his only recourse, as we see when he has a vision of himself throwing him a sword and pointing to the castle.

You could take the nightmarish vision he has of a life with Casca as Griffith rejecting emasculation, but an alternate way of taking it is Griffith regaining a form of phallic power, and the emotional isolation that goes with it. After all, it's implied that he has a child with Casca, while totally withdrawn and emotionally isolated.

I once said in a different silly essay that Griffith choosing the dream is, in a way, Griffith choosing another version that nightmare, and that take also fits here.

And hey, it's another reason for Femto to rape Casca lol, if we want to ascribe meaning there, and of course we must in this kind of analysis. In the wagon Griffith essentially offers sex to Casca for the faint vestige of masculine power it could give him (emotional isolation and a child); in his nightmare he imagines that life and it drives him to suicide; and after becoming Femto he forces sex onto Casca and then continues on to embody emotional distance and masculine power.

This power is painfully demonstrated through the rape of Casca, but also subsequently through his pure untouchability (often in pointedly sexualized contexts); through his phony relationship with Charlotte and ascending to the ultimate patriarchal role of king/emperor and taking that sword called the throne; and I guess also through his actual sword lol which he still uses.

An example of sexualized untouchability - check out the positioning of that third thought bubble, in this scene where Griffith lords his invulnerability over Ganishka.

And look at all those pillars, I'm js.

And I'd be remiss not to point out the most recent confrontation with Guts where Guts tries many times to hit his naked body with his giant sword, completely fails, and then Griffith kidnaps Casca. More very on-point emasculation symbolism, it might as well be Guts trying to fuck him but unable to get hard lol. His breakdown afterwards doesn't do much to disabuse you of that notion either.

Anyway, back to post-Eclipse Guts. There's not much else to add that I didn't cover at the start, but in brief:

Guts has lost his arm during the Eclipse, which is an emasculation - he loses it while watching Femto rape ~his woman~ so it's like the most traditional symbolic castration there is lol. And of course he replaces it with a bigger, better, and more overt phallic symbol: a canon. And like the first thing we see him do with it is shove it into the mouth of a monster he's banging and blow her head off. So yk, there's that.

And there's Puck, who exists to help bridge Guts' emotional distance and essentially serves as the feminine counterpart to Guts' masculinity for a while. From his magical empathy, to his tiny size, to his lack of genitalia (note that in Freudian theory the lack of a penis is an indicator of femininity rather than specifically the presence of a vagina), to his connections with female characters Theresia and Jill, even arguably to his introduction where Guts saves him from a bunch of men throwing phallic knives at him by skewering them with his own (bigger) projectiles, this is consistent during the Black Swordsman/Conviction arc era.

Chestnut Puck is a lot more boyish, with his particular humour, his cameraderie with an annoying teenage boy, and now having his own feminine counterpart in Ivalera, but that's fine because his thematic job as a feminine influence on Guts is over after Guts starts collecting more friends.

And as far as the RPG group goes, there are a few notable instances of phallic symbolism for them too. Farnese and Serpico are an obvious example, with Farnese sexualizing the wounds Serpico voluntarily suffers for her, when she demands he duel for her honour a bunch of times.

Farnese brandishing the end of her whip at him doesn't hurt the freudian power dynamic symbolism either lol.

In the Conviction arc Farnese wielded a sword she was incapable of using, suggestive of her true femininity under a brash masculine surface, and when she softens in the Millenium Falcon arc she becomes a caretaker with only a small dagger for self-defense. That said, she does get that epic moment of stabbing a tiger in the eye with a long silver pole (candlestick) when she rejoins Guts' crew rather than becoming a housewife, so she still gets some badass phallic weapon imagery lol.

Serpico wields a thin rapier in the Conviction Arc, which Guts easily grabs in his hand, and in the Millenium Falcon arc he switches to a... limp feather duster lol. Serpico is very feminized compared to Guts and his weapons fit as part of that, but they're still effective weapons. You could maybe argue, within this Freudian lens, that this is indicative of Serpico's healthier relationship with masculinity. He's not compensating for anything, he's at peace with himself.

And god I gotta say something about Guts and Serpico's duels. In the first one you have Serpico delaying Guts while Farnese steals Casca from him, and part of that delay is to force Guts into a fight where he can't wield his sword, a parallel emasculation to Casca being kidnapped.

Then you have their confrontation after Farnese's no good very bad night, which is just incredibly suggestive lol.

You cannot tell me this isn't Guts getting blueballed when Serpico leaves after one quick exchange. Particularly coming in the same chapter featuring possessed Farnese grinding on Guts' sword (which Guts was much less interested in, incidentally). Also: wounds as sexual imagery again. Guts licking the blood off his cheek? Come on.

And finally you have their fight in Farnese's basement, in which Serpico attempts to hinder Guts by surrounding him with giant pillars, which Guts smashes through as he dodges around them. Another neat illustration of Guts' pure phallic power and Serpico's much more effeminate style.

One final note to address part of your ask, which didn't naturally fit into the rest of this lol: I would interpret vaginal imagery in monsters as mainly castration anxiety, yk, vagina dentata vibes, the fear of sticking your dick in a hole you can't see into. There's actually a lot of interesting stuff to consider in terms of the feminine as the unknowable other when it comes to Freudian theory, but that's like, not something I would expect Miura to lean into first of all, and also it would take another essay of explanation. If you're interested in that kind of Freudian analysis though I'd recommend the books Men, Women, and Chainsaws by Carol J. Clover and The Dread of Difference, edited by Barry Keith Grant. I took a course on women and horror films ages ago and read chunks of those, and it was very fun, and iirc both address Freudian imagery in horror.

Okay! So that's the rundown of like, all the examples of Freudian imagery that interest me at least lol. This isn't exhaustive ofc, Berserk is long and not stingy with this stuff, but this response is already so long and meandering lol, so I'm going to wrap it up here.

To sum up, phallic imagery often represents masculine power as well as masculine flaws (like emotional isolation) in Berserk, while yonic/vaginal imagery tends to represent feminine weakness as well as feminine virtues (like emotional connection and vulnerability). As a general rule, the more phallic imagery someone violently swings around, the more fucked up they are. Phallic violence is used to compensate for past trauma, but it only continues the cycle of violence. The way to break that violence is to accept one's wounds and focus on them, to heal, rather than trying to distract from them.

I don't think this is always the best way to interpret Berserk lol, but it adds another dimension that very often complements the surface meaning and thematic resonance of the story, sometimes purposefully, sometimes likely incidental. And either way it's a lot of fun to read into!

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roadkillremi · 1 year

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I want your video

Randy Meeks X Gn!Reader

MasterList

Warnings : Language, Jealous Randy, Stu "Jokingly" Threats Randy.

Summary : Randy has a big fat crush on his Co-Worker at the video rental store. Sadly, Stu also has a crush on that same person.

You ran into the video store quickly, "Where is he?". Randy looked up at you, "In the back.". You ran behind the counter where he was. You pulled your name tag out of your pocket placing it on your shirt.

"If he asks, I've been here this whole time." You stand up. Randy nodded, "Aye, Aye Captain.". You smiled at him, kissing his cheek.

"You're the best." You grabbed the cart of tapes to restock. Randy's face went pink, ever since you started working at Bradley Video store it's been different. You both talked more, you opened up to him more. He had no idea you were such a Stephen King Fan. But the sad part was, Stu obviously liked you.

He watched you restock the comedy section while ringing up a customer. Stu sneaked up on you making you jump. You hit him playfully, just like you did with Randy. Stu whispered in your ear making you laugh. The laugh that made Randy's heart flutter. Once he ran that one customer he started restocking in another aisle.

Billy noticed Randy staring at you. He went behind Randy, "It's rude to stare at people.". Randy jumped, "I'm not staring!" He said out of fear. Billy smirked, he liked seeing Randy afraid of him.

"Do you like them?" He whispered in Randy's ear as he stared. He watched Stu's hand slip down your lower back.

"Why don't you tell them?" Billy whispered. Randy shrugged continuing to restock the tapes. Billy watched Randy with disgust, "You better tell them before Stu takes them.". Billy roughly patted Randy's back making him squirm. Billy walked over to you and Stu, he's appearance made you jump a bit. Billy leaned close down to your face whispering something to you. Randy scoffed, anytime Randy liked anyone they had to get in the way.

You looked over to see Randy obviously uncomfortable. You walked over, "Hey, What'd Billy do? He said you needed to talk.". You leaned on the video rack tilting your head at him.

"Nothing. Go hang out with your boyfriend." Randy spat. You raised your eyebrow, "Boyfriend?". Randy stomped away ignoring you, he kept restocking.

"Randy Meeks!" You said walking after him. He still hasn't looked at you, "Are you implying Stu Macher is my boyfriend?" You laughed. He looked at you with a dead serious face.

"I have no interest in him. Besides why are you so... Protective?" You asked. Randy's face flushed, "Stu's not a good guy. That's all.". You nodded helping him restock, "Do you know any good guys to date then?". He shrugged, you looked at him studying his face closely. He seemed angry but not with you, just in general.

"I can leave you alone, Randy.." you walked away to go help a customer. Randy turned to look at you, he knew he blew it.

Billy tsked at Randy appearing from around the corner. Stu put his elbows on Randy's Shoulders scaring him. Stu chuckled, "Billy here told me a little secret.". Billy smiled, "You lay one finger on Y/N, I'll slit your throat" Stu whispered. Randy, terrified turned towards Stu his eyes wide with fear. Stu laughed loudly, "I'm just joking." Stu and Billy walked away from him.

It was around closing time and you were ringing up the cash register while Randy cleaned. You looked at the clock on the wall, 9:28pm is what it stated. You sighed, you couldn't take the last half hour of this. You went to help Randy clean up the mess a bunch of middle schoolers made.

"You don't have to help me." He mumbled. You sighed continuing to help him, "I know.". You both silently cleaned up the floor, "I don't like Stu like that..." You said breaking the silence. Randy looked up at you, you continued to clean the floor.

"Oh, sorry." He whispered. You shrugged, "It's fine. Just don't freak yourself out." You stood up gently rubbing his hair walking away. Randy took the trash back following you.

"Y/N..." Randy called out. You turned around to face him, "Hm?". He awkwardly scratched the back of his neck.

"I was wondering.. if after work you'd want to watch a movie?" He stumbled over his words. You smiled, "Is Randy Meeks asking me on a date?". His face turned pink he nodded.

"God! It took you forever! Of course!" You smiled. You went up to him taking the trash bag from his hand.

"Go pick out a movie, I'll throw this away." You smiled. He gazed into your eyes not believing what was happening.

"Can I kiss you?-" he blurted out. Your face turned a light pink, "Uh, Sure.". Randy gently kissed you. You leaned into him gently cupping his cheek. You smiled at him before taking the trash bag to the back. Randy stood there bewildered on how he pulled it all off. He quickly went to grab a movie to shove into his bookbag.

He heard a scream from the back, Randy's head popped up. He took off running remembering you were back there. He pushed the doors opened.

"Y/N?!" He called out opening the back ally door to the dumpster. You ran to Randy hugging his torso tightly.

"I saw the killer! He ran after me and the door was locked!" You sobbed, Randy dragged you into the video store locking the back door. He peaked in the front, no one was there. You wiped your tears off your face sniffling.

"Hey, we can go a bit early. I'll drive you to my place." He offered. You nodded, "Thank you.", He smiled softly kissing you. You melted into him softly, he wrapped his arm around your waist walking out of the building with you. You two got into his car and drove off.

Stu took off his Ghostface mask, "That fucking bitch.". Billy appeared from the shadows, "Don't worry, we'll ruin their little date.".

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metalandmagi · 3 months

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The Real Anime Awards of 2023 part 2

Every year, I become increasingly disappointed in the Crunchyroll Anime Awards, so I started making my own Anime Award lists THAT ARE FOR THE ACTUAL YEAR IN ANIME! IF CRUNCHYROLL WON'T INCLUDE FALL SHOWS THEN I WILL! I've already done my silly version for 2023, so now it's time for my serious picks. But it's still just for fun, so don't take any of my nominees too seriously or get offended that I didn't include your favorites. Even I can't watch everything.

Full disclosure, I don't include all the same categories that Crunchyroll does (just most of them). These are also only for television shows, so I didn't include any movies (and I really don't watch enough anime movies on a yearly basis to include a movie category).

Anime of the Year

Vinland Saga season 2

Zom 100 Bucket List of the Dead

Oshi no Ko

Frieren Beyond Journey’s End

Pluto

Scott Pilgrim Takes Off (I don’t care what MyAnimeList says. It’s made by Science Saru, so I'm counting it.)

Best Continuing Series

Vinland Saga season 2

Dr. Stone New World

Horimiya: The Missing Pieces

Jujutsu Kaisen season 2

Spy x Family season 2

Attack on Titan the final season (just assume I mean the last special from here on out)

Best New Series

Buddy Daddies

Oshi no Ko

Tengoku Daimakyou

Zom 100: Bucket List of the Dead

Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End

Migi to Dali

Best Animation

Tsurune season 2

Trigun Stampede

Demon Slayer: Swordsmith Village arc

My Happy Marriage

Jujutsu Kaisen season 2

Attack on Titan the final season

Best Character Design

Overtake!

Bleach Thousand Year Blood War part 2

Oshi no Ko

Blue Lock cour 2

Tokyo Revengers season 2

Mou Ippon! (Yes I'm 100% serious. I actually respect this show’s character design a lot, considering the artists were able to make realistic, distinct, varied female characters of all shapes and sizes without making them into moe blobs. So that's why this is on here instead of another shounen of the week.)

Best Romance

Tomo-chan Is A Girl

My Love Story With Yamada-kun at Lv999

Sacrificial Princess and the King of Beasts

Skip to Loafer

Insomniacs After School

Horimiya: The Missing Pieces

Best Comedy

Buddy Daddies

Cool Doji Danshi cour 2

Skip to Loafer

My Love Story with Yamada-kun at Lv999

My New Boss is Goofy

The Hundred Girlfriends Who Really Really Really Really Really Love You

Best Action

Trigun Stampede

Demon Slayer Swordsmith Village arc

Zom 100: Bucket List of the Dead

Jujutsu Kaisen season 2

Attack on Titan the final season

Hell’s Paradise

Honorable mention: Bleach Thousand Year Blood War season 2 (sorry, I just wasn’t as impressed with the action in this season, but it still deserves a shout out)

Best Fantasy

To Your Eternity season 2 cour 2 (is it cheating if it's only counting the last cour of the season 😅)

Ousama Ranking: Yuuki no Takarabako

Hell’s Paradise

Mononogatari season 2

Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End

Mushoku Tensei season 2

Honorable mention: Hikari no Ou (I never finished it but the vibe was there.)

Best Drama

Vinland Saga season 2

Oshi no Ko

Pluto

Ooku: The Inner Chambers

Tengoku Daimakyou

Migi and Dali

Honorable mention: Undead Girl Murder Farce- it's more of a mystery than a drama, but I still wanted to include it somewhere.

Best Slice of Life

Horimiya: The Missing Pieces

Kubo Won’t Let Me Be Invisible

Cool Doji Danshi cour 2

My New Boss is Goofy

Insomniacs After School

My Clueless First Friend

Best Protagonist

Thorfinn (Vinland Saga season 2)

Mitsumi Iwakura (Skip to Loafer)

Maomao (The Apothecary Diaries)

Arikoto Madenokoji (Ooku: The Inner Chambers)

Frieren (Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End)

Kouya Madoka (Overtake!)

Best Antagonist

Eisuke Nikaido (Tsurune season 2)

Canute (Vinland Saga season 2)

Millions Knives (Trigun Stampede)

Taiju (Tokyo Revengers season 2)

Ibara (Dr. Stone New World part 2)

Reiko Ichijou (Migi to Dali)

Honorable mention: *SPOILERS* The Bureau of Traditional Music (Mononogatari season 2). These guys were squad goals, not gonna lie.

Best Boy

Vash the Stampede (Trigun Stampede)

Every Single Boy from Cool Doji Danshi cour 2- THEY’RE ALL GOOD BOYS OKAY!?

Sousuke Shima (Skip to Loafer)

Taiyou Takada (My Clueless First Friend)

Einar (Vinland Saga)- Yes Einar instead of Snake. Snake is a lovable antihero, but Einar is best boy material

Yukichi (The Masterful Cat Is Depressed Again Today)

Best Girl

Tomo (Tomo-chan Is A Girl)

Runa Shirakawa (You Were Experienced, I Was Not: Our Dating Story)

Kana Arima (Oshi no Ko)

Amit (Niehime to Kemono no Ou)

Akane Kinoshita (My Love Story with Yamada-kun at Lv999)

Mitsuri Kanroji (Demon Slayer: Swordsmith Village arc)

Best Score

Trigun Stampede

Vinland Saga season 2

Insomniacs After School

Bleach Thousand Year Blood War part 2

Jujutsu Kaisen season 2

Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End

Best OP (yes there are 8 nominations, I couldn't decide 😭)

Jujutsu Kaisen season 2 (“Specialz” King Gnu)- I really think this season’s OPs should be taken as a pair, but when it comes down to which OP will stand the test of time, I think this one will be more iconic.

Vinland Saga season 2 OP2 (“Paradox” Survive Said the Prophet)

Oshi no Ko (“Idol” YOASOBI)

High Card (“Trickster” Five New Old)

Hell’s Paradise (“Work” Millennium Parade)

Tengoku Daimakyou (“Innocent Arrogance” BiSH)

Bleach Thousand Year Blood War part 2 (“Stars” w.o.d.)

The Legendary Hero is Dead (“Shinda” Masayoshi Ōishi)

Zom 100: Bucket List of the Dead (“Song of the Dead” Kana-Boon)

Honorable mention: Link Click season 2 (honestly this is probably the best OP of the year, but since the show isn’t Japanese, I have to exclude it 😣)

Best ED

Tengoku Daimakyou (“Dare mo Kare mo Doko mo Nani mo Shiranai” ASOBI Doumei)

Oshi no Ko (“Mephisto” Ziyoou-vachi)

Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End (“Anytime Anywhere” milet)

Dr. Stone New World part 2 (“Suki ni Shinayo” Anly)

Spy x Family season 2 (“Todome no Ichigeki” Vaundy ft. Cory Wong)

Migi to Dali (“Skyline” Nulbarich)

Best VA Performance Japanese

Uemura, Yuuto As Thorfinn (Vinland Saga season 2)

Takahashi, Rei as Tomo (Tomo-chan is a Girl)

Satao, Gen as Ganta Nakami (Insomniacs After School) His laugh is so pure and genuine, I could listen to it forever!

Inoue, Marina as Armin Arlert (Attack on Titan the final season)

Tanezaki, Atsumi as Anya Forger (Spy Family season 2)

Nakamura, Yuuichi as Satoru Gojo (Jujutsu Kaisen season 2)

So there you have it! My picks for the real anime awards of 2023. Like I said, don't take this seriously at all, it's just something fun I like to put together every year. I always try not to nominate the same things, but it's easy to end up playing favorites. It's so hard to try to include a variety!

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tokuxsenshi · 8 months

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Sentai Body Swap Episodes rank

Okay so I finally done I watched all the body swap episodes. My favorite trope in all media so im an expert so this is the true ranking of them anyone else opinon is WRONG. (Also sorry so bad at words)

King-Ohger Episode 28. Shuffle kings

this THIS RIGHT HERE is a MASTER PIECE OF BODY SWAP EPISODES full team no voice swaps and FULL of chaos. I love everything about it. I love that Gira Jeremy Hymeno and Kaguragi learned a lesson and Yanma and Rita just want to kill eachother. 100/10 episode ART in its purist form.

2. GOGO V Episode 37. The Beauty is a Saima Beast!?

I'm honestly very surprised that I loved this episode as much as I do like I don't even remember it from watching Gogo I remember the season being very serious but honestly forgot how funny it could be. I love that this monster didnt even plan to do body swap and him going on the marriage interveiw and acting all weird but the fact he did that in Tsugumi body and the parents didnt react make me think shes just like that normally. Tsugumi is such a girl boss as well true QUEEN. 10/10 episode

3. Magiranger Episode 39. Inverse Brother and Sister and Episode 40. The Gorgon's Garden

Honestly though this was gonna be my number 1 when I started this episode was one my favorites when I watched Magiranger (despite forgoring its a 2 parter) though RIP to Houka 15 man harem. And Kai sick burning his sister. this some great mid 2000s sentai. though it being a 2 parter kinda un imporant it could been done in one so the episode be counted as 1 and together their a 10/10

4. Gokaiger Episode 27. An Unusual Gokai Change.

This another one I forgor but its a great episode and choosing Doc an Luca for it was perfect. some great sentai body swap shannies in it with doc running around from guys who think want to attack luka and being scared to hurt her body pure boi. 10/10 love Gokai so much

5. Go-Onger Episode 12. Sosuke Banki!?

I just love Go on its one my favorite seasons and this episode some the best of how wacky this season is. even with a voice swap I actually genially love this episode. and the fact the monster couldnt even spend 10 mintunes with the team because their just to insane that they couldnt even tell that Sosuke was switched. only one bad thing its set before miu so for no miu I have to give it - 100 points so its a -90/10

6. Abaranger Episode 27. AbaRed is AbareBlue

Another favorite season and this episode is not a low point honestly love that most of it just Yukito trying to be a dad and failing like dont let this man take care of kids again. like I think the only thing that bring this episode down is the voice swap again. 10/10 episode

7. Lupat Episode 16.Because You're A Friend

Another BANGER. Choosing Touma to be the body swap for this as AMAZING dont think the comedy could been better with anyone else. and the fact the Patoranger saw the monster in Touma body and basically though he some kind of play boy peek comedy. and the way they trick the monster to switch back really good. 10/10

8.Zenkaiger Episode 32. kai! Sakasama Gets Angry! Is That a Monkey?

I want to start with that the sub I watched the name the epiosde was freaky friday or is it monkey monday and like THAT WHAT IT SHOULD BE! this episode pretty alright I like Kaito running around Tojitendo Palace and completely failing at pretending to be stacy loud boy in quite boy body peek comedy. also love we get t see Flint do the Twokaizer dance even if its a body swap. 10/10 Episode

9. Dekaranger Episode 19. Fake Blue

Alright this where my real opinion shine. I LOVE Dekarangr its one my top 10 seasons BUT this episode where it was good... WAS SO BORING compared to what I was watching like I like the epiosde but for what I was making thi slist for its just not that good. 6/10

10. Toqger Episode. 21. The Runaway Bride

Another season I love but this episode so MEH. like honestly this did not have to have the boys body swap it just seemed really unessary and didnt really effect anything. The Gritta stuff was really sweet though I always felt bad for her in the show she deserved better. 5/10

11. Kyoryuger Episode 37. Revenge! The Ghost Deboth Army

Honestly this episode so boring I could barely pay attention like this one 100% did NOT need to be a body swap epiosode like did that even effect anything. 4/10

12. Fiveman Episode 36. Super Twin Strategy

I wont really reveiw this one like I did watch it and its alright but I've never seen Fiveman so I feel like maybe when I do eventually watch it i'll have an actual opinon ?/10

13. Kiramager Episode 19. Partner

I'll start with saying the Juru and Fire stuff this episode ADORABLE I love that... but I CAN NEVER purely enjoy this episode because MACH IN IT IS FUCKING DIGUSTING. like the fact whoever wrote this thogh that was comedy A SHAME makes sense the same guy who wrote episode 11 of Lupat the worse epiosde of ANY sentai I hate this episode it makes me so uncomfortable even thinkig about it. fuck mach. -1000000000000000000000000000/10

an now here at the end I'll talk about my FAVORITE swap episode and episode in general that I just couldnt rank with this since I dont 100% think it counts but I love it so we talking about it.

Shinkenger Episode 27, Switched Lives

I LOVE this episode its so funny and crazy. like taking the switch body trope but with furniture is so good. and the fact Genta turned into sushi and was almost eaten actually turned into an epiosde where he couldnt morph because he was to scared is so funny. and also Ryuunosuke the show punching bag of course gotta turn into little piss baby statue since thats what he is. this episode just great like honestly this one I feel like you can watch without even seeing the rest of shinkenger (Though why would you its the BEST SEASON) and the fact its a Chaiki and Kotaha episode just makes it even better. 10000000000000/10

#super sentai #kingohger #gogo v #magiranger #gokaiger #go onger #abaranger #lupinranger vs patranger #lupat #zenkaiger #dekaranger #toqger #kyoryuger #fiveman #kiramager #shinkenger

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angelicsaiko · 3 months

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Movie Night ♥︎

Happy Chaos, and the reader decides to have a movie night, though it doesn't go as expected.

A/N: It's like 2 am rn but like, yes. Anyways I had fun writing this. I hope you guys like it!

TW: Oral (male receiving), Hair Pulling, lmk if I missed anything else!

It's been rather lonely for you lately, so you decided why not just have a movie night with a friend, and what other friend would you pick than the man obsessed with drama, Happy Chaos? You and him were good friends for a good year or so now. You two would constantly goof of and make jokes at each other or even just have debates on philosophy and history. Even though he was a huge smart-ass who was practically the king of sass, you always found him charming in a weird sense. He was definitely a weirdo, but he was fun to hang out with. He wasn't someone who would get upset easily, and he had a good sense of humor, too. Sure, he was crazy, but you LOVED his crazy. Maybe a little too much. You would never fully admit it to yourself, but you had formed a crush on the blue man but always told yourself that he wanted nothing like that to do with you, but you couldn't help yourself but get excited for occasions like this where you two could spend time together. Just the two of you.

It took only 20 minutes before you heard your doorbell ring, which had you immediately running to the door. You had enough time to clean your apartment, but you didn't have enough time to change your clothes, so you were standing at the door wearing only an oversized T-shirt and striped panties underneath. You immediately smiled, however, and tried to brush that fact off when you saw Chaos standing right in front of you.

"Come on in! Sorry I didn't have enough time to change into regular clothes, though if you don't mind waiting for a bit then I can go change now, ehe.."

Now Chaos was the one that was smiling, shaking his head as his dark brown eyes gazed down at you. "Oh, it's fine, you know I don't like sitting around doing nothing, you know." He scratched his neck and shoulder a bit, waiting for you to move a little so he could get into the apartment. He wore a simple band T-shirt with some goofy graphic on it along with his usual black leather pants accompanied by his orange X-shaped shaded glasses and a black jacket with the insides yellow. His hair is a mess as usual, though it looks like he at least tried to keep it down and not all over the place, though there are still some visible lone strands that wrapped around his twin horns that poked out and curled upwards on the edges of his forehead. His halo was a black circle that hovered over his head, which had spikes coming from four directions. You always wondered what exactly he was, but you were too shy to ask him, plus you don't even think he even knew what he was. With the way his eyes looked into yours, it made you feel a bit light on the ground, but you stopped yourself from thinking like that. This is a movie night. Don't make it weird, Y/N!!

You finally snapped yourself out of your thoughts and moved out of the doorway and into the living room. You plopped down onto the couch and turned on the TV using simple magic currents from a tiny little remote. Chaos wasn't that far off behind you, promptly sitting down beside you with his legs spread, having no manners whatsoever as usual. You held back a giggle at that as you tried to focus on the TV.

"Anything you feel like watching? I have some horror movies, or maybe we could watch a comedy movie. Though most of them are pretty damn old." You let off a soft giggle as you said that before turning to the man right beside you. He was apparently staring at you but immediately refocused when he heard your voice, then looking at the TV as he seemed to be thinking. You sighed as you stood up before turning back to him.

"Well, while you think on that, I'm gonna make us some popcorn alright? Don't mess with anything while I'm gone, I know you, mister." You spoke sternly at him with a playful smile. That seemed to get his attention as he simply scoffed and shook his head, saying a drawn out "Fiiiine." with a big grin on his face. That grin faded when you turned away from him and walked off to the kitchen. While you were walking away, your T-shirt was hanging above your back, so the back of your panties was completely visible to him. He tried to look away, but the sight of your panties, the outline of your waist, your plushy thighs, every little detail would not leave his mind now. It started to drive him crazy in more ways than one, feeling himself get aroused by the sight, but he did everything he could to ignore it and just focus on picking a movie. He ended up picking an old horror movie that he remembered watching once. Since he remembered it being decent, he decided to choose that one. The thought of you would not leave his mind and it didn't help when you came back with your shirt slightly lifted up thanks to your arms being up to hold the big bowl full of popcorn, exposing the front of your panties. He immediately looked towards the wall, pretending he's just taking his glasses off to set down on the side table, when really he was trying to hide his flushed face.

Chaos is not used to these thoughts, and neither is he used to this attachment he has to you. His heart is racing slightly every time you are around, and it overwhelms him every time he is alone after spending time with you. He even went as far as to avoid you for awhile to keep his mind straight, he already had enough racing through his mind, he didn't want to feel creepy for having some random obsession over and ordinary girl, but he missed talking to you so he decided to accept your invite, thinking he would be fine. He was already being proven wrong, biting his fist as he tried to distract himself. Once you sat back down beside him, he was brought back to reality. Chaos had to cross his legs to hide what was growing in his pants. Maybe if he didn't wear leather pants, then it would be easier to hide. This caught your attention, though, as you have never seen him do that all of the times you two have spent time together. You then noticed that his face was turning a slight red tone, but since he didn't say anything about it, then you decided to say nothing about it. He was your friend, after all. You aren't going to catch him lacking unless you two are playing a video game.

You turned the movie one and leaned back into the couch, watching the movie with him. Chaos tried to focus, but he kept peaking at you and noticing how nicely your thighs pressed together, or how your stomach looked like all folded together, showing off the chub you had in your belly. Chaos bit his lip for a second before catching himself and looking back at the TV. Usually, he wouldn't care this much about how others thought. He would be brutally honest about it, but you were different. You were the only one who made him feel this way, the only one that made him lose his mind even more than it already was. He rested his hand on his thigh, lightly clawing at it to keep himself in reality and just watch the movie. That was until a sex scene started. Chaos was staring at the screen wide eyed, peaking at you a little to see if you would skip forward, but you seemed too relaxed to wanna lean over, he gulped and tried to hold back a whimper. He was harder than ever right now, and you were starting to notice, too.

You had peaked at him a couple times, and immediately noticed the growing bulge that was caged behind his pants that he so desperately was trying to hide, you have a good idea of what got him riled up, but you wanted to tease him a little. It looked so tempting, but you waited patiently. First though, you decided to lean onto him, resting your head on his shoulder, and your right hand rested onto his lap above his hand. You could feel him tense up and twitch a bit, which made you chuckle a bit to yourself before averting your eyes at the screen. Your living room was full of the sound of lewd moans along with the sight of the girl pinned down onto the bed, getting railed by some big buff guy as they both panted in unison. While Chaos was trying to stay together, you snuck your other hand down to stroke the buldge in his pants, rubbing it up and down slowly as you watched his face. You don't know what's gotten into you, but you will happily thank any god up there for allowing you to tease this man. God, was it worth it, seeing his blue skin be flushed red on his face as he let out soft pants and whines, biting his lip as he rolled his head back, causing you to grin and bite your own lip at the sight of him falling apart from your hands.

"What's gotten into you, hm? You've never been like this before.~" You teased, gazing up at him, ignoring the movie that was playing behind you. All that mattered right now was that flustered face and those dark brown eyes that managed to get darker as they gazed back at you. He cursed under his breath as he felt you move your hands to the zipper of his pants before looking back up at him.

"Mind if I help?~"

It took everything in his willpower not to just grab you and pin you to the couch. Instead, all he did was nod and whine out a "Go for it.." which you happily obliged to. Slowly unzipping his pants and bringing them down to his ankles. You slid down his boxers as well, allowing something to spring out from underneath and finally out of its cage. You were now face to face with his member, and immediately, you finally snapped out of your gazed thoughts and back into reality as you saw it. Would you even be able to take all of it? It was blue just like his skin, but it was tall and thick, some veins sticking out as it twitched and throbbed from the feeling of your breath on it. You sighed and leaned down, softly kissing the tip of the head before swirling your tongue around it. Just that was enough to make Chaos jolt and moan, letting out a couple of grunts as well. You grinned and started to lick up all around his cock, keeping eye contact with him as you slowly slipped the head into your mouth, before sliding more into your warm and wet mouth. He moaned, looked down at you, returning the eye contact as his free hand rested onto the top of your head before grabbing a handful of your hair.

It was without question. Chaos was losing his mind, but it felt amazing, and he didn't want it to stop. You started to bob your head back and forth onto his length, going at a slow pace as you were still trying to take his size, even though it's not even all the way in yet. At this point, you both forgot about the movie. You finally started to take more of his length into your mouth, trying your best to take all of it, but once you got closer to the end, your gag reflex would start. This caused Chaos to smirk, looking down at you as his hand that was in your hair tightened it's hold, his other hand that was on his lap the grabbed another chunk of your hair, before pulling your hair to take all of his cock. He immediately moaned and panted, doing this repeatedly as you choked on his thick length. He was basically fucking your face without much care of what your neighbors would hear, using your face for his own pleasure. That's what you get for teasing him.

"How does that feel, huh?" He said between pants and grunts, looking back down at you as he tried to focus his eyesight. "Don't worry - fuCK! I'm close..~"

Chaos moved a bit to get a good angle, before pounding into your throat, panting like a needy dog as he did so. His cock was throbbing and twitching in your throat, the salty taste of his pre-cum staining the walls of your mouth and throat as you drooled all over him. Your face being a complete mess because of him. It didn't take him much longer until you felt his cock twitch in your mouth, before shooting his thick white ropes right into your mouth and down your throat. He pulled his member out of your mouth, shooting more of his semen directly onto your face. He panted, before grinning at the sight of your face covered in his cum, softly patting your head as you both took some time to recover.

"We should watch movies together more often.." He said before chuckling. You on the other hand was lapping up his cum off your face with your fingers, before licking it all up with ease. He just watched with his face turning red once again, before you noticed that he was still hard. He simply grinned at you and you returned that grin.

"How about a round two?~"

#Happy Chaos #guilty gear strive #guilty gear #smut #character x you #character x reader #character x reader smut #Happy Chaos x Reader #fanfiction

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izanori · 1 year

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just in time for their birthday! happy birthday testament <3 to celebrate, i have 8 new comics from Guilty Gear XX Yonkoma Kings translated

{part 1 / part 2}

how to read yonkoma + translation notes under the cut:

how to read yonkoma (aka 4-koma):

translation stuff (not even all about things you need to know, i just like to talk):

remember how i said this is my first time cleaning manga? yea, im still learning and using these comics to experiment with ways of handling sfx and stuff, so if you notice any inconsistencies there, thats why. for now, ive decided id rather not erase sound effects because theyre so prominent in manga theyre part of the art... and also because im lazy, and also because i'm no letterer and shouldn't try to redraw them in english

anyways

("im sorry, forgive me") i know nothing about sports and had to look up "wii sports announcer all voice lines" to figure out what someone says when a batter makes a good hit 😭

("this week's plagiarism") did you know patents are "abandoned" and not "canceled" or "annulled" or something? translation really does make you learn something new all the time

("love") napa cabbage? chinese cabbage? hakusai? i dont know. i dont cook. i just dont know. also, asazuke is a pickling method in japan that's real quick, where you put the vegetables in a sealed bag/container with salt or any other pickling solution and wait for 30 min - a few hours. yakiniku = grilled meat!

("all funny men...") so in the japanese, where i wrote "funny man" the text originally said "boke," and where i wrote "straight man," it originally said "tsukkomi." i'm not sure how familiar everyone here is with comedy routines, but in japan they have a traditional comedy duo thing where one guy (the boke) says something stupid, and the other guy (the tsukkomi) hits him with a fan or etc. very simplified explanation. in the west we have something similar, a double comedy act where one guy (the funny man) is very silly and the other guy (the straight man) must maintain his composure. youve probably seen this dynamic in many animanga and sitcoms

aaaaand... i have a ko-fi, if you feel somewhat inclined to give me $3 for being a nerd about testament and supporting other testament fans who can't read japanese. i'd be really thankful!

that's all! bye for now ^_^

#cici #testament guilty gear #if you can read jp you can find the original text on internet archive #and if you do so can you please tell me if i translated anything wrong #pleeeeease i wanna leeeeeeearn #esp that last comic w the psych burst #not sure if i did smth wrong or if the comic just isnt funny

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straightplayshowdown · 7 months

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Antigone: After Oedipus' self-exile, his sons Eteocles and Polynices engaged in a civil war for the Theban throne, which resulted in both brothers dying fighting each other. Oedipus' brother-in-law and new Theban ruler Creon ordered the public honoring of Eteocles and the public shaming of Thebes' traitor Polynices. The story follows the attempts of Antigone, the sister of Eteocles and Polynices, to bury Polynices, going against the decision of her uncle Creon and placing her relationship with her brother above human laws.

Arsenic and Old Lace: Mortimer Brewster goes to visit his sweet spinster aunts to announce his engagement. Mortimer always knew that his family had a bit of a mad gene - his brother believes himself to be Teddy Roosevelt - but his world is turned upside down when he realizes that his dear aunts have been poisoning lonely old men for years! When Mortimer’s maniacal brother, Jonathan, who strangely now resembles Boris Karloff, returns on the night that the aunts were planning to bury the newest victim, Mortimer must rally to help his aunts and protect his fiancé -- all while trying to keep his own sanity.

Propaganda under the cut!

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead:

This play is for people that love Shakespeare, but also love weird shit. It somehow offers really insightful commentary on stories and fate and purpose while also feeling like a fever dream.

an existential and brilliant deconstruction of hamlet

it’s good

Hamlet fanfic involving the game of questions and frequently not being on boats.

No, I'm tired sorry

waiting for godot meets hamlet. best of both worlds

I know the whole thing off by heard and I’ve never been in it. Does that count. Also it deserves to win because of what the awful awful film did to it.

Antigone:

Extremely seminal and powerful.

Play of all time. That is all.

A play from the 5th century BCE that’s still resonant today

something about the worst punishment not being death but rather being forced to live on in a world that has already spurned you. something about sisterhood. something about "too late, too late, you see what justice means"

Arsenic and Old Lace:

it's a "farcical black comedy" "Abby and Martha Brewster, who have taken to murdering lonely old men by poisoning them with a glass of home-made elderberry wine laced with arsenic, strychnine, and "just a pinch" of cyanide"(Wikipedia)

A man discovers that his little old aunts are killing people and having his one brother, who thinks he's Teddy Roosevelt, dig "the Panama Canal" in the basement so they can bury the bodies. Then his brother who's a murderer comes home after having botched plastic surgery that made him look like Boris Karloff (who played him in the original production). It's very silly and wonderful

#round 2 #polls #rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead #ragad #antigone #arsenic and old lace #the straight play showdown

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sleepdeprivedsimp234 · 11 months

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~incorrect quotes again~ (i need a nap and some coffee-)

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Cali, trying and failing to get York to open up: Why are you like this??  York: I used too much "No More Tears" shampoo as a kid and I haven't felt a single emotion since.

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Mass, making coffee: This is going to fix everything.

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Loui: You were wise to seek help from the world's most deadly weapon.  Loui: It's me.

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Tex: I think it’s time I get my life in order.  York, narrating: But he did not get his life in order. In fact, he got drunk last night and fought a raccoon.

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Gov: It’s funny how well you and Mass get along. Didn’t they hate you at first?  Loui: Mass hates everybody at first. It’s his way of reaching out to people.

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York: You’ve got to learn to love yourself.  Mass: But don't you hate yourself? York: Yeah, but this is about you. Stay focused.

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Mass: Please say words of encouragement to me so I don’t murder someone right now.  Tex: There are no books in prison.  Mass: *sighs* Thank you.

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York: I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

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Florida: You know what’s funny about Loui? They’re my best friend, and anyone who’d hurt them is someone I’d murder, probably.

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Loui: Everyone thinks I'm this soft cute person but I'm not!  Florida : Tex, you cried for an hour after stepping on a bug yesterday.  Loui: It had feelings! It was probably going home to dinner and I killed it!  Georgia: ...It was a bug.  Loui: It was a BEETLE, and its wife is definitely worried sick, wondering where it is, and I really don't get why you all think I'm so sentimental because I'm not!  Florida: ...  Georgia: ...  Loui: Stop looking at me like that!

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Connie: Why would you give a knife to Mass?!  York, shrugging: Mass felt unsafe.  Connie: Now I feel unsafe!  York: I’m sorry…  York: Would you like a knife?

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Jersey: You think you're smarter than everyone else.  Mass: I don't think I'm smarter than everyone else. I know I am.

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Mass: You are an absolute fucking dork.  York, singing: Yeah, but I'm your dork!  Mass: *sighs* Yeah, you're my dork.

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Florida , pointing a camera at Loui: There he is, our sweet baby.  Loui, holding a cigarette and a daiquiri: What-?

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Cali: I'm having problems with a guy...  York: Like his dead body won't fit into yer trunk kinda problems, or ya like him kind of problems?

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York: Guys, I have a question.  Mass: kys <3  York: I love you too.  Florida: Ah, yes. Siblings.

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Cali: Hey Loui, can you give me the opposite of these words?  Cali: Always, Coming, From, Take, Me, Down.  Loui: Never, Going, To, Give, You-  Loui: Da f(speaks New Orleans)in’ satisfaction.

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Loui, hungover: Please tell me I'm imagining that I claimed I was king of the ducks.  Tex: I would, but then I would be lying to the King of All Ducks.

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Loui: Look at the buns on that guy!  Florida: *lying on the floor, covered in hamburger buns*  Georgia: This is the comedy police! The joke's too funny!  Loui, pulling out a gun that Texas gave him: I'm not going back to jail!

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Jersey, texting in the group chat: I wonder what Apple shots would look like?  Loui: *Sends a picture of of a syringe with an apple slice shoddily edited inside*  Florida: *Sends a picture of a shot glass with an Apple poorly drawn inside*  Mass: *Sends picture of person dunking a Basketball into the hoop but replaced the basketball with a poorly resized apple*  Jersey: I hate all of you.

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Jersey: We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare.  Cali: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great.  Jersey: Not when you’re playing with Texas, it’s not. He put words like “ephemeral” and I put “dog.”

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York: *Pulls a glass a water from out of nowhere*  Gov: Where did you get that?  York: My pocket.  Gov: How do you keep a glass of water in your pocket?  York: Skills.

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#welcome to the statehouse #welcome to the table #wttt new york #wttt louisiana #wttt massachusetts #wttt texas #wttt florida #wttt gov #wttt new jersey #wttt california #ben brainard

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sherlokiness · 7 months

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been reading your Lyanna and Rhaegar posts and I very much agree with you about them having a wedding. If we assume that those Kingsguard's weren't false Kingsguards like Jaime and weren't lying about them keeping their "vow" then the most logical explanation would be that Jon is legitimate. When Aerys died, they should have gone to protect their new King Viserys yet they refused to do so. The reason for staying in the ToJ must have been because whatever they're guarding there takes higher priority than Viserys.

What do you think will be for the future of Sansa and Jon then? They will be the second Stark and Targaryen union in the current story we'll see. Since Sansa is a bastard just like Jon that means Jon isn't a bastard at all. They're made to pose as bastards by a father figure or else people would have their head. Stone and Snow. She's a Stark, he's a Targaryen.

Hi, anon! Thanks for the ask.

Great point about Sansa saying she's a bastard just like Jon. If we take that as a hint of RLJ then what she says is actually the truth. She was made a bastard exactly like Jon yet in reality they were not at all. We also have a clue to what Jon might feel once he learns of his heritage.

He is not my father. The thought leapt unbidden to Jon's mind. Lord Eddard Stark is my father. I will not forget him, no matter how many swords they give me.

They might offer him the IT(made up of many swords) and the allegiance of noble houses(my sword is yours.) He will never forget Ned and Rhaegar could just fuck off.💀💀

RLJ parallel for Jon and Sansa for me would probably them having a secret wedding. I mean, the books already teased Sansa having one with a cousin. But unlike RL, jonsa will have a public wedding too much like Jahaerys I and Alysanne. Next I would say is Sansa as the Girl in Grey. I very much believe the theory that Lyanna met Rhegar again at the Inn at the Crossroads which is where another iconic kidnapping took place- Cat seizing Tyrion. It resulted in hostilities between two major Houses where the Starks didn't know the inside story. It would have looked like a kidnapping specially if we have hostile forces against Lyanna there which were the King's men. So Sansa/Lyanna would be fleeing kidnappers only to end up with a Targaryen for safety. The elements involved would be a tourney, a crime, a wedding, and a rescue by a knight. Jon disdaining princesses in towers only to end up rescuing an actual one is peak comedy imo. 🤡🤡

As he walked toward the armory, Jon chanced to look up and saw Val standing in her tower window. I'm sorry, he thought. I'm not the man to steal you out of there.

This could be interpreted as it is or could be that Jon is not the man to steal Val because he will steal another princess later. Jon, Sansa's brother, might also give her a bastard's head - Ramsay's. She already has Janos but she doesn't know that.

After my name day feast, I'm going to raise a host and kill your brother myself. That's what I'll give you, Lady Sansa. Your brother's head."

A kind of madness took over her then, and she heard herself say, "Maybe my brother will give me your head."

Jon vs Ramsay has been foreshadowed by Ghost defending a prize from a yellow bitch three times his size. The most recent one would be Chett, a leech man's son with lordly ambitions, being defeated by "Snow and his pet pig." Lady Piggy is Jon Snow's lady love. There's only one notable guy in the story using leeches and it's Roose.

He will know me. How could he not? She considered throwing herself at his feet to beg for his protection. He never fought for Robb, why should he fight for me?

Sansa's already considered doing before what Alys did.

Alys knelt before him, clutching the black cloak. "You are my only hope, Lord Snow. In your father's name, I beg you. Protect me."

UndeadJon will know her and will fight for her. Jon has failed twice to fight for his family - Robb and Arya. He will succeed on the third one.

#idk anymore #jonsa #I'm tagging cause if the girl in grey mentions #sherlokiness ask

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jebewonmorelike · 1 year

Text

The Shirt (Happy Birthday Ricky!)

wc: 1.5k warnings: fluff, angst/ricky getting scared but its silly, some swearing, ricky admiring jiwoong, and a dash (heap) of crack summary: zb1 decides to pull a good old-fashioned hidden camera prank on ricky for his birthday... things go horribly wrong. ~masterlist~ ♡ ~kofi (no pressure at all)~ inspired by this tweet that accompanied the pap photo above^^ could not stop laughing about it. this started as a hidden camera prank idea (and it still is sort of) that i pitched to lex (bp-zb1fics) but as i kept writing it... it got sillier and sillier i'm so sorry. but yujin being like one of the twins from the shining to ricky is so hilarious. HAPPY RICKY DAY!! WE LOVE YOU SM ALREADY KING. WISHING NOTHING BUT HAPPINESS AND SUCCESS AND A HUG FROM JIWOONG FOR OUR CHARISMA BOSS LOVELICKY. hope y'all in joy this lil comedy piece lol.

Ricky smiles at himself in his dressing room mirror. Sure, he was working on his birthday, but at least he had the best job in the world. Having already had his hair styled and his makeup applied for ZB1's photoshoot today, he admires his specially curated appearance.

I wonder what our outfits will be like for today's shoot, Ricky thinks.

Just then, the door to his dressing room opens.

"Ricky," Jiwoong calls, walking over to where the blonde boy is sitting in front of the large vanity mirror. "Did you have that lint roller with you?"

"Oh, sure," Ricky says with a small, blushing smile; walking over to his bag and pulling out the lint remover. Just as he's about to hand the roller to Jiwoong, Ricky is stopped in his tracks when he notices something very peculiar about his hyung's outfit.

“Jiwoong hyung,” Ricky says, eyes wide with surprise as he takes in the sight of the oldest’s shirt. “Why are you wearing a t-shirt with my face on it…?”

“Oh, am I?" Jiwoong replies, brows furrowed curiously as he turns to view himself in the mirror. After a moment, he simply shrugs. "Huh, I guess I am."

Ricky stares at his oldest hyung confusedly, a million thoughts racing through his mind. Where had Jiwoong gotten that shirt? How had it found its way onto his body?

Was this Jiwoong's way of finally confessing his reciprocated feelings for him?

Before the thought spiral can continue, another member walks into his dressing room. Ricky turns around to see who it is, his eyes bulging in shock once more.

"Hey, have you guys seen one of my sun earrings lying around?" Gunwook asks, standing in the middle of Ricky and Jiwoong as he looks into the large vanity mirror. He turns his head from side to side, checking his hair from the different angles.

"Why--," Ricky falters, unable to believe his eyes as the image of his own face on Gunwook's black t-shirt stares back at him-- matching Jiwoong's exactly. "Why... Why are you both wearing shirts with my face on them!?"

"Oh, are we?” Gunwook responds with a frown. He takes the bottom of the t-shirt and stretches it out a bit so he can look down and examine it. "You think it looks like you? I think it's actually an old picture of Jiwoong hyung..."

"What!? It's not Jiwoong hyung!" Ricky exclaims, pointing to the image of his own face on the younger boy's t-shirt. Tapping his finger against the delicate, black neck tattoo that is clearly visible in the picture. "See, that's my tattoo!"

Gunwook squints. "Huh."

"It does kind of look like me now that you mention it," Jiwoong says suddenly, nodding in thought.

"You're not serious are you!? It's clearly me and no one has answered my question yet as to why you're--."

Ricky is steadily growing closer to losing his temper when another knock at the dressing room door cuts him off. In walk Hao and Matthew and, much to Ricky's relief, neither of the boys are wearing shirts with his face plastered on them.

"Hey, did you--," Matthew starts to ask before his eyes land on Gunwook and Jiwoong's t-shirts. He frowns, a little pout forming on his lips as he stares at them in confusion before asking, "Why are you guys wearing shirts with Jiwoon hyung's face on them?"

"OH COME ON!" Ricky shouts, hands flying wildly about as he gestures to the t-shirts. "It's my face!!"

Hao walks up to Jiwoong, examining the shirt for himself up close. After a few moments, he nods back at Ricky, "Yeah, I could see why you might think it's your face.”

"IT IS--," Ricky starts to yell before taking a deep breath to calm himself. "It is my face. Look, I can even show you where the picture is from."

Pulling out his phone and scrolling through his photos quickly, Ricky finds the paparazzi photo of himself that has been blown up on Gunwook and Jiwoong's t-shirts. Turning his phone towards the other boys, he waits eagerly with wide eyes for them to finally agree with him.

After several moments of silence, Gunwook says with a smirk, "You have paparazzi photos of yourself saved on your phone?"

"UGH!" Ricky huffs, marching towards the door and flinging it open in a fit of annoyance. He steps out into the hallway, ready to decompress for a long minute before finding a staff member and (politely) demanding some answers as to what was going on.

But Ricky's plans are foiled almost immediately as he turns the corner to find Taerae and Gyuvin sitting in folding chairs next to each other...

Wearing the shirt.

"NO!" Ricky shouts, causing the two boys to look up at him concernedly.

"Hey, Ricky," Taerae says with a broad smile. "What's up?"

"Why aren't you wearing your outfit yet?" Gyuvin asks, one eyebrow cocked curiously. "Wasn't it in your dressing room?"

"You should put it on."

A small voice suddenly rings out behind Ricky, who spins around as quickly as humanly possible to find Yujin staring back at him ominously from down the hallway... adorned in the shirt.

"Holy shit," Ricky whispers, darting off down the hallway in the opposite direction of the youngest member (whom he is now deathly afraid of).

Ricky runs through the hallways of the photoshoot location, finally ending up back at his original dressing room. Opening the door, he races inside only to be met by seven ZB1 members staring back at him: all now wearing the shirt.

"OH MY GOD!" Ricky yells as the door to the dressing room opens again.

"Ricky!" Hanbin calls, a dimpled smile lighting up his face.

"Thank god, Hanbin hyung," Ricky cries, sighing with relief. "Please, you have to help me, they're all wearing shirts with my face on them and I have no idea why and I'm so scared of Yujin now and--..."

Ricky's voice trails off as Hanbin unzips his jacket to reveal the shirt underneath. "HYUNG... YOU'RE ONE OF THEM!"

"How come you aren't wearing your Ricky shirt, Ricky?" Hao asks, holding out another identical shirt for the blonde boy to take. "It's the concept for our photoshoot!"

"The concept for the photoshoot..." Ricky repeats slowly, eyes glued open with panic and confusion. "Is this t-shirt with my face on it?"

All of the boys nod excitedly.

"But--... but... Why!?"

Hanbin tsks disapprovingly. "Our stylists worked hard to make these for us! Are you really going to insult them by questioning their vision?"

Ricky looks around at all of the boys around him, who are smiling back at him robotically. It sends a chill down his spine. "No... No of course not... But..."

"Then put on the shirt, Ricky," Gyuvin says, gesturing to the shirt.

"Yeah," Jiwoong repeats. "Put on the shirt, Ricky."

All of the boys now begin chanting in a monotone: "Put on the shirt, Ricky." They surround the tall, blonde boy, slowly closing in on him as Hao continues to push the shirt towards him.

Ricky starts to turn around, ready to bolt from his friends who have obviously been possessed by some demon with really good taste in men, but--.

"Put on the shirt, Ricky."

Yujin's blank, haunted smile stops the boy in his tracks and renders him immobile. Ricky falls to the ground, curling up into a ball on the floor as he attempts to make the members of ZB1 disappear by burying his head into his hands. He stays this way for awhile, paralyzed with his newfound fear of the boys he was supposed to conquer the world of K-Pop with.

"Has he really not caught on yet?" Ricky hears a voice he recognizes to be Matthew's after a few moments.

"I think we might've underestimated how dumb Ricky is," Hao says with a sigh. "Like, I knew he was dumb, but I didn't think he was 'believe our company would make us wear shirts with his face on them for an official photoshoot' dumb."

"I think the oversight might actually have been his vanity," Gunwook counters with a laugh. "He didn't even question that a shirt with his face on it existed. He just wanted to know why we were wearing them."

Ricky sits up now, staring untrustingly at his friends with wide eyes. "What... What's going on?"

Hanbin grimaces. "We were trying to play a prank on you where we pretended that our stylists had made these shirts with your face on them for our photoshoot, but... I think we let it go too far."

Ricky looks back and forth between his members, watching as they all smile awkwardly at him.

"Sorry," Taerae says first, prompting the rest of them to begin to mumble their apologies.

"We just wanted to do a fun prank for your birthday!" Gyuvin says, pulling a Go-Pro camera out from behind his back. "Say hi to the camera..."

Ricky frowns into the lens; unamused. "You guys suck."

"Well, if it makes a difference..." Matthew says with a sheepish smile. "We've got cake!"

"CAKE!" Gunwook, Taerae and Gyuvin exclaim, bouncing up and down together excitedly.

"The staff is setting it up in the hallway right now," Hanbin says as the three most energetic members run out of the room to devour their weight in cake. Hanbin, Hao and Matthew follow them out, leaving Ricky and Jiwoong alone in the dressing room.

"I'm sorry, Ricky," the oldest boy says, a lopsided smile on his face as he apologizes. He walks over to Ricky, placing a hand on his shoulder comfortingly. "If it makes you feel any better, I actually really like this shirt. I think I'm gonna keep it."

Ricky's oldest hyung winks as he, too, exits the dressing room.

A huge grin spreads across the boy's face. He might have just spent the last ten minutes fearing for his life, but the compliment from his hyung had made it all worth it to Ricky.

He sighs happily, fixing his hair in the mirror absentmindedly as he prepares to join the rest of his members for his impromptu birthday celebration but…

Suddenly, Yujin pops out from behind Ricky-- smiling at him through the mirror.

"Put on the shirt, Ricky."

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