#source: mock the week

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

Karkat, writing to an Agony Aunt: DEAR BITCH, I HAVE TROUBLE MAKING FRIENDS.  WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?!

#submission #source: Mock the Week #homestuck #incorrect homestuck quotes #karkat vantas #mod terezi #is an agony aunt like a alternian advice column or something? #if so that's brilliant

[verycorrectslugterraquotes]

So if I’m found not guilty, can I keep all the stuff I nicked?

Dana Por

#source: mock the week #slugterra #incorrect slugterra quotes #incorrect quotes #dana #dana por #mine

[incorrectoctopathtravelerquotes]

Primrose: Cyrus danced like nobody was watching.

Primrose: But someone was watching.

Primrose: And he looked like a twat.

#submission #source: mock the week #cyrus albright #primrose azelhart #incorrect octopath traveler quotes #octopath traveler #incorrect octopath traveler #incorrect quotes

[medjedrpresources]

Mock The Week: "Unlikely Things To Hear at Christmas Time" RP Starters

content warning; profanity, dark humour, sexual references

Feel free to adjust gendered terms as needed

"I went to Africa last year. They do know it's Christmas."

"Last year, for Christmas, to help my grandfather give up smoking, I bought him a petrol-infused cigarette. His face lit up."

"I've burnt the turkey and I'm shagging your brother! I'm joking, the turkey's fine!"

"I'm not saying you haven't made an effort, I'm just saying I didn't realize Pot Noodle did a turkey flavour."

"Awww, I knew they cared, they've sent me an eCard."

"This Christmas, why don't you spice up your festive sex life and give your partner a surprise. Put the fairy up yourself."

"D'yknow, I think this is the best stuffing I've ever had. Shall we put our clothes back on before your parents arrive?"

"It's Christmas? Today? Are you sure? The shops have kept that very quiet."

"We always have a goose here at Christmas. I don't know why really, its conversation's terrible and it shits all over the floor."

"A good tip for sprouts is to slice them very thinly, drizzle them in olive oil, throw them in the bin and drink a bottle of red wine."

"Aww, I just wish that Monopoly lasted longer…"

"What the fuck is eggnog?"

"Is that a candy cane in your pocket, or have you just got a really weird shaped penis?"

"I um… I know you didn't want diamonds and things, but you deserve something really expensive so… I've bought you some gas."

"Bit of oil, bit of salt, and finally you put a lemon up the bottom. Strangely, I quite enjoy it."

"Well, it's soaked in brandy, let's get it lit and we can pretend she fell asleep watching telly."

"Oh, we're under the mistletoe. I think you know what that means… I've locked us outside again, haven't I?"

"I'm afraid Santa wasn't able to bring you a toy train, so he's brought you a toy replacement bus service."

#rp starters #inbox starters #christmas starters #sentence starters #quote starters #source: mock the week

[incorrectdevilquotes]

Ella: After years and years, the greatest will they or won't they in LAPD history finally comes to an end, as Chloe Decker and Lucifer Morningstar... finally fuck.

Chloe, looks knowingly at Lucifer: Vigorously.

#chloe decker #ella lopez #lucifer netflix #lucifer morningstar #incorrect lucifer quotes #lucifer #deckerstar #source: mock the week

[amphorographia]

Hannibal: This isn't my fault. You asked me to reconstruct the crime, so I killed somebody

#hannibal #hannibal nbc #hannibal lecter #incorrect quotes #incorrect hannibal quotes #source: mock the week

[worlds-4th-best-dad]

Murmur: Unlikely lines from a children’s book! Reisuke: A string-fellow? What’s a string-fellow? Tsubaki: A string-fellow? Why, didn’t you know? It has pale leather skin, and a massive libido, a bald head of hair, and a grin like a pedo! Akise: Let’s learn the alphabet! Akise, to Yuno: A is for Adopted, like you. Kurou: “Who’s been sleeping in my bed?” said Daddy Bear. Rea: “Well,” said Mommy Bear. “It’s been our son’s homeroom teacher and he’s a much better partner than you are!” Deus: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. Or as I like to call them, the Capitoline Triad. Kosaka, to Yuki: If you’d been a nicer little boy, mommy and daddy would never have got divorced!

#someone get their publishing license revoked #incorrect quotes #incorrect mirai nikki quotes #incorrect future diary quotes #mirai nikki #future diary #murmur #reisuke houjou #tsubaki kasugano #aru akise #yuno gasai #kurou amano #rea amano #deus ex machina #ouji kosaka #yukiteru amano #source: mock the week

[totallycorrectjediorderquotes]

Mace: Who’s the Head of the Order here, me or you?!

Mace: ... It’s me.

Mace: ...Shit.

#doesnt matter who this is to #its just a vibe #Mace Windu #Star wars #star wars: the clone wars #star wars: the expanded universe #Star Wars the Prequel trilogy #incorrect star wars quotes #Source: Mock the Week

[ouatsqincorrect]

Snow, to Regina: To my new daughter-in-law, I would say this:

Snow: You have released me. This monster is yours now.

#snow white #regina mills #snow/regina #swan queen #once upon a time #ouat #incorrect quotes #incorrect ouat quotes #source: mock the week

[nicodemus-diangelo]

Percy: Who’s the Praetor here, me or you?!

Percy: it's me?

Percy: Shit

#source: mock the week #hoo #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo #toa #mine #percy jackson

[incorrect-malfoys]

*Bellatrix and Rodolphus' wedding*

Narcissa: To my new brother-in-law, I would say this:

Narcissa: You have released me. This monster is yours now

#incorrect harry potter quotes #incorrect malfoys #malfoyfamily #narcissa malfoy #bellatrix lestrange #rodolphus lestrange #source: mock the week #belladolphus #sorry for missing yesterday #HP Fandom

[incorrect-hololive]

Yagoo: Who’s the CEO here, me or you?!

Yagoo: …It’s me?

Yagoo: …Shit.

#source: mock the week #incorrect quotes #hololive #yagoo #submission #yagoo: hai....

[verycorrectslugterraquotes]

You’ve each been selected for this mission because you’re unknown to Dr Blakk and you each have a special skill: Stephen Hawking, Mitt Romney, Batman, One Direction, Prince William, Tony the Tiger and Leonardo DiCaprio! Welcome to Operation Mindfuck!

Eli

#source: mock the week #slugterra #incorrect slugterra quotes #incorrect quotes #eli #eli shane #dr. blakk #dr. thaddius blakk #thaddius blakk #shane gang #mine

[incorrectateam]

Murdock: The answer is 22, what is the question?

Face: Is it, 'at what age does life start to go downhill'?

#howling mad murdock #templeton face #source: mock the week

[incorrectsecretforest]

Wonchul, sadly: How much do you think Prosecutor-General Lee's funeral is going to cost?

Dongjae, pulling out a calculator: 300 million won.

Shimok, shaking his head: For 300 million won, we could buy the entire South Korean prosecution a shovel each, and we would dig a hole so deep that we could hand him over to Satan personally.

#secret forest #tvn stranger #park sung geun #lee joon hyuk #jo seung woo #source: mock the week

[incorrectoctopathtravelerquotes]

Esmeralda: When Miguel got down on one knee...

Esmeralda, standing over Miguel's coffin: I wish I'd known he was having a stroke.

#submission #source: mock the week #miguel #i was really bored when i thought of this crackship #esmeralda #incorrect Octopath Traveler #octopath traveler #incorrect quotes #incorrect octopath traveler quotes