#that's not gonna work

[gh05tb0y]

Stu: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- [translation: I’M SORRY] Billy: What's that? Stu: Remorse code. Billy: I'm even angrier now.

#remorse code #that's not gonna work #but good try #ig #stu macher #billy loomis #scream 1996 #scream #funny

[im-goin-mad]

metal bitches turning into lana del rey bitches when they're sad

#this is what i mean when i say #metal music #is my #happy music #like do you want me to head bang crying #that's not gonna work #i'm enjoying myself when some #black metal #is playing #(don't judge) #just kidding #but you know what i mean #melancholy is fun when it's metal #but yeah #exclusively crying to #lana del rey #or random boring sad playlists

[bjurnberg]

My work boots are the most expensive shoes I’ve ever owned.

Also the most comfortable. I chose them after trying on several different brands and comparing lifespan vs usage vs comfort - I needed them for a physically demanding job, not the weekend hiking trails. I could have easily chosen cheaper boots that would have lasted long enough to be worth their low price, but I know the Sam Vimes Boot Theory and knew weaker, less comfortable boots would make my life harder in the long run.

So when the outside edge of the heel started wearing down after three years of heavy use I went to the shop I got them from and said “hey this is a common problem for me with how I walk but now it’s affecting my ankles and knees and I don’t wanna have to buy a new pair, is there a way to fix this?”

The salesman at this very fancy upscale boot store said “oh yeah, there’s a shoe repair place that can give you some heel guards - it’ll keep the rubber from wearing out.”

So at 8am this morning right after my 9hr shift ends I went to the shoe repair shop and it is the most hole-in-the-wall, is-this-a-real-business-or-a-mafia-front, am-I-gonna-get-shot tiny cinder block cube I’ve ever seen in my life. I grew up plenty poor and love me a good hole-in-the-wall business, but going from upscale store to this cash-only repair shop gave me whiplash. Wasn’t expecting this when a guy who wears three piece suits to sell boots said it’s the best place to go.

The skinny kid behind the counter looks somehow 16 and 25 at the same time, but when I tell him this place was recommended he smiles and says to hand over my boots. I hand him the vaguely warm foot-smelling boots, and stand in my socks in the 3’ square entryway surrounded by every color leather polish you could buy and watch as he turns my boots around in his hands, sizes up a crescent moon bits of plastic, and unceremoniously hammers tiny nails through them before handing them back.

The heels are perfectly level again. I can walk without almost rolling my ankles. They don’t clack loudly on the pavement or feel different. This is gonna fix my knee pain. It cost $10.

This kid had every tool he needed within arms reach, worked fast and smoothly, I was in and out the door in less than 8 minutes, and it only cost $10.

I didn’t think anything could cost only $10 anymore. I’m so used to hyperinflation prices I was spiritually thrown back to the 1400’s visiting the cobbler in town square. This kid might have been that cobbler and just decided to never die.

I’m still reeling from the whiplash, and gobsmacked at the price, and thrilled I didn’t have to go buy new, worse work boots (cuz I don’t have that kind of money for a second pair, I’m expecting these ones to last a decade) and it feels like I just experienced one of the rare little chunks of magic that floats around our world.

#shoe repair #cobbler magic #good work boots are a necessary part of life #and finding a cobbler I can take other shoes to is gonna change my life #I love craftsmen #bjurnberg

[seenthisepisode]

no offence but the reason tumblr is “dying” is, well, yes, of course the cursed like/reblog ratio and the change in user behaviour (because of people being used to how instagram and tiktok work) BUT also the lack of weekly shows. i say it with my whole chest, they don't produce captivating and engaging stupid weekly tv shows anymore because streaming killed that so you have spikes of activity here when Something happens in general fandom or up to three days after a new season of whatever drops and then it's a wasteland. this is obviously an old woman yelling at a cloud missing supernatural and the vampire diaries and pretty little liars and all these other shows type of post but honestly give me back weekly tv shows where i have something to watch for 40 minutes almost every day of the week after work so then i can read and reblog it on tumblr give it back for the sake of my sanity

#we used to be a proper country #or something #this post is brought to you by me coming back from work and being like okay what now 🧍🏻‍♂️ #i mean obviously i have stuff to do but these are just chores and what i need what i have been programmed to need is a 40 minute long #episode of stupid cw show with a gay ship that's never gonna go canon... :((( #tumblr #fandom

[artkaninchenbau]

A h-heartfelt reunion..?

Bonus

#Sir Crocodile #Monkey D Dragon #Emporio Ivankov #Dragodile #Crocodad #My art #One Piece #We're not gonna talk about the work I should be doing rn I have Severe Procrastinitis and I'm doing my best okay #Alternative version where it was both Crocodile and Garp beating Dragon's ass before Iva-chan joined in but that was too much effort lmao #I'm a believer in Dragon being a Wind Logia so don't worry guys he is 100% taking this beating intentionally #He knows what he did and he's dealing with the concequences of his actions. With grace. #You know I realize Iva-chan should be two whole meters taller than Crocodile but we're just gonna ignore that #Look Iva-chan taking Crocodile's side and being like ''Crocoboy is right you fucked up bad Dragon'' brings me joy #And for real I've been wanting to draw this for months. But never did because I had other shit to do. Which I still do #But. You know. Sometimes you need to draw a shitpost. It's ✨ self-care ✨ #And appearently One Piece shitpost comics have become the thing I draw for myself on occassion

[feluka]

no matter how the media spins it remember that the US would rather watch the region burn than give up its little pet genocidal colonial ethnostate project

#US: we worked soooo hard to destabilize the region! we're not just gonna let all that work go to waste!

[stil-lindigo]

ARTISTS FOR PALESTINE 🇵🇸 - On the 6th and 9th of March, I'll be doing art requests on stream with other notable artists to raise money for Operation Olive Branch and the PCRF.

I'm incredibly lucky to be counting quite a few big names in the roster, including known Jesus and Odysseus enthusiast @wolfythewitch, the extraordinary fanartist @denimcatfish, and the incredibly talented @troubledminnesotan, as well as Lilypichu from OfflineTV.

You'll be able to watch the streams on the day of the event either on my twitch channel here, or via the links provided by the artists below.

Lilypichu

Cuptoast

Akairosu_

Sevvanto

Wolfythewitch

#we're all gonna be doing an aggie.io board together and taking requests #sort of like drawfee's charity streams if any of y'all know them #its my first time organising a fundraising event like this and i hope it all goes well #the stream on the 6th is gonna double as a practise stream for me since i wanna check if everything will work fine #fingers crossed!! #im honestly so lucky that these people agreed to this so short notice as well... #i promised wolfy id read the odyssey and the epic of gilgamesh so y'all better donate #palestine #free palestine #free gaza #free west bank #donations #pcrf #operation olive branch #donations for palestine #fundraiser #lilypichu #cuptoast #crumb #offlinetv #shamelessly trying to get as many eyes to see this as possible

[infinityhasbegun]

🥺🥺🥺

Hello????

#That's not gonna work #if that's what you're trying to do anyeay

[deancaskiss]

rb to have a super gay 2023

#this was a hit last year so lets do it again for 2023 #here’s to being even more gay next year #gonna make 2023 the gayest year yet #also my 2022 post worked for so many people. including me ;) #bex talks #lgbt #lgbtqia #gay #bisexual #lesbian #transgender #asexual #queer #intersex #pansexual #pride #txt #txt post #text post #text

[teaboot]

Was gonna ask my mom to rate my fit and she didn't even give me a chance

#Devastated #Gonna be thinking about this all day #My own flesh and blood #Wasn't even done typing #She had this one in the barrel #Locked and loaded #Ruthless #I'm dying squirtle #I'm at work I can't even go home and change

[ao3commentoftheday]

wanna boop your ao3?

Code for each colour of paw, on either red text or blue, as well as instructions for pairing with either light mode or Reversi - all can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54887380/

thank you @copperrust for sharing out the paw images I used to create these 😺

#site skins #I should literally be working right now #so I'm gonna go do that

[millipedegf]

roughs

#🥩 #mine #no more work for the night cause my ipads gonna die

[bulletsgirl]

ppl who werent changed forever by youre gonna go far kid by the offspring when they were like 11 and insanely impressionable you just cant understand me

#SLOWLY OUT OF LINE AND DRIFTING CLOSER IN YOUR SIGHTS #SO PLAY IT OUT IM WIDE AWAKE ITS A SCENE ABOUT ME #THERES SOMETHING IN YOUR WAY AND NOW SOMEONE IS GONNA PAY #AND IF YOU CANT GET WHAT YOU WANT WELL ITS ALL BECAUSE OF ME #NOW DANCE FUCKER DANCE MAN I NEVER HAD A CHANCE #AND NO ONE EVEN KNEW IT WAS REALLY ONLY YOU #AND NOW YOULL LEAD THE WAY #SHOW THE LIGHT OF DAY #NICE WORK YOU DID #YOURE GONNA GO FAR KID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[go-learn-esperanto]

I see so many people starting to use Threads as a way to escape Twitter and yes, it's owned by Facebook's CEO and giving Facebook the monopoly of social media is bad but I think we should also talk about the fact that, you know, Threads isn't avalibe in the EU for privacy reasons????? That should be concerning to EVERYONE

#twitter #threads #just so there's no confusion: Meta is the one that isn't gonna release Threads to the EU #This is because they're afraid it won't pass GDPR #You should probably be aware the Facebook has recently gotten a fine of $1‚2M+ for breaching GDPR #So Meta doesn't want to try their luck. Since they don't seem to want to change how their app works #they are gonna wait until the EU confirms this #although it's pretty clear they are getting more data than they should

[juniepops]

I’m immune to hypnosis actually. I just wanted to do all that gay shit anyway

#if you tag this anything like ‘this is just how hypnosis works’ I’m gonna start blocking you

[loktauri]

Local Archivist listens to his scary stories sitting like a teenage girl, more at 11

#my art #tma #jonathan sims #the magnus archives #gonna be posting some more old art as I work on c0mms #ah... remembering when I use to have free time #tma s3 #i think...?