#thats not really relevant but i thought id bring it up anyway

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

I haven't talked to a friend in a few months but I want to, so I just texted a picture of my dog in hopes that that will start a conversation. Cuz I miss her but don't know how to start conversations.

#i made this friend during one of the worst weeks of my life #it was a terrible training week for summer camp #i was surrounded by strangers and closeted and didnt know anything #long story #but then i saw her! a trans woman! and immediately needed to be friends #and we immediately hit it off #she's cool as fuck and i love her so much #no i dont know her last name or where she lives. why is that relevant. i still love her #i am reallybad at remembering people exist if i dont see them on a regular basis #sometimes i forget my best friend of six years exists if we havent talked in a few days #so the fact that i remembered her and got up the energy to text her means a lot #i am so tired #my puppy is sick to his tummy. and he wakes me up ever hour or two to make it my problem #and i have an ear infection that's causing immense immeasurable pain. so its hard to fall asleep through that #thats not really relevant but i thought id bring it up anyway #i ate a really good lemon bar today #i hope you all have a wonderful day and eat a delicious baked good of your choice

[psychewritesbs]

hi! i didnt have much success when looking through ur blog to see if uve addressed this alrdy so apologies if u have.

i was curious to know ur thoughts on jjk's portrayals of gender, esp women/femininity. if u have particular insight from a psych or philosophy bg, id be interested in hearing that (warning, i have a v feminist critique lens)

ik u love gege's writing 😅 but his handle on female characters/femininity has given me such a difficult relationship w jjk, and its v difficult to have discourse on it. on one hand, we're introduced to sm interesting realistic women, tbh i actually never stanned a woman in manga before jjk. but imo it cant be denied that gege is a sexist writer. despite how realistic jjk women r theyre all .. halfwritten? i cant think of a single one who isnt underwritten, not fully explored, not utilized substantially in the plot, etc. and there r sm ex's of extremely minor male characters in jjk who r given more thematic relevance than frequently recurring women that just underscores that gender gap imo

this isnt solely a gege problem ik but what bothers me in particular about jjk vs other mangas is how gege addresses strength, even in the light of nb/androgynous characters, and how it feels as if gege's def of strength is inherently masculine? even despite going so far as to give us a philosophical battle shonen w diverse reps of gender and emphasizing individuality that encompasses both femme/masc traits

how a reader interprets whether a jjk woman is strong or not is obv subjective. like, i think shoko is strong but shes not depicted as such bc she doesnt have a combative technique whereas yuki maki nobara or mei r depicted as "strong" bc of their battle abilities. but it also feels as if those women r strong bc they take on "masculine" traits/mindsets whereas there r no clear depictions of "femininity" making women or men stronger. even utahime who falls into v classic shoujo girl tropes is seen as weak despite teaching her students v proficientally in battle strategy (mechamaru v mahito is a good ex of that imo), as compared to how gojo teaches his (ie dumping them into missions for experience). but thats not what gege ever chooses to highlight

femininity also doesnt even seem to make men/nb characters stronger. the ex's i can think of r naoya as a vagina (lmao), geto as a mother to curses, yuta as highly attuned to his emotions, kenjaku as yuji's mother -- those r things that support these (mostly) men's strong sense of individuality but like, those arent really the things that lend those characters their "strength", u know? like geges just sprinkling in androgyny for the spice 🧐

what is feminine vs masculine, how an individual embodies those traits in their gender identity r already complex topics. im obv generalizing a lot here, but i just, idk despite how many other nuanced philosophies gege explores, what is strong/desirable in jjk still falls down to all-out fighting abilities/physical prowess, emotional detachment, isolation, extremism, etc -- all things we harp on toxic masculinity for. and even when he critiques that, theres no cogent counter solution/way to be strong that gege provides, much less one that incorporates "femininity" and women

maybe im just asking for too much from gege after having read so many great representations of women and gender by female (and male) mangakas/writers but.. i shouldnt be 🙄 he can utilize his female characters more imo, esp when he can clearly set them up so well. and im sure theres things ive misread about jjk and its portrayal of femininity, theres plenty of holes in my thoughts ^^ anyways, this is obv not a great topic to bring up in a fandom that is so polarized between dudebros and women w unaddressed internalized misogyny.. so i welcome any and all thoughts and interpretations on ur end! (also omg im rlly sorry this got so long)

I love you feminist anon, if I may call you that lol, I just always name my anons 😂. I am so grateful that you sent this.

I feel like you've very eloquently explained the deeper reason as to why I personally can't relate to the female characters in jjk. If I'm honest, I like them and think they are fun and good enough representations or attempts at depicting the archetypes that rule their personalities.

As you say, however, some of them remain rather superficial and underutilized... and please forgive me anyone who loves them, but some of them feel like they are basically dudes wearing skirts.

No offense to dudes who wear skirts or people who like men who wear skirts or anyone for that matter. It's just that, as a personal preference, I like female characters that wear skirts, pants, leggings, etc and have equal amounts of masculine and feminine energy.

So, even if I find they are good enough, I've never necessarily loved jjk female characters, because, as you also say, I've read/seen one too many amazing and iconic female characters by other authors...

And it's not like I think you're asking for too much from Gege in wanting better female characters, it's just that, as you also said, I like his writing and I read jjk precisely because of what it's doing for my masculine psyche. Like... quite literally.

So perhaps I'm more forgiving than you are because of it? Because in all reality, there are female character moments in other manga that I have to give the bombastic side eye to, and jjk isn't one of them.

Let's taco'bout it more under the cut.

So, that said, I have to admit that you might not find a lot of "feminist oriented" content in my blog because my feminist lens is reserved for dealing with lame dudebros in my real life, and also, I honestly do not know how to wear the lens on the same level of depth as you do.

Also, since my blog's lens is depth psych, I very much focus on femininity and masculinity as psychological qualities that exist on opposite ends of a continuum regardless of biological gender. You'll see me refer to femininity and masculinity like this throughout my answer.

So because of this, I'm coming at the whole issue from a slightly different angle than you are. The way I see it, I think the way the jjk female characters are written and thematically utilized (basically everything you said), ultimately comes back to how Gege's exploration of femininity is limited by his own sense of self, and very much likely biased by the sociocultural landscape he grew up in.

I don't know how much you know about Japan, but Japan has one foot in the future, and one foot in the past...

And like... ok I'm totally oversimplifying the whole thing. All I'm saying is... Gege is a man who grew up in a man's world, sharing his view of the world through jjk, which is a story about initiation of the male psyche that is published in a magazine for young boys.

Do you see the pattern there?

So If you feel like his female characters are underutilized and underexplored, and that thematically jjk focuses way too much on masculinity and masculine definitions of strength at the expense of the feminine archetypes he does present (like Naoya as a vagina LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL)... well... to me, we're basically looking at the limits of his own relationship to his femininity, which, this relationship is in turn an imperative precursor for psychospiritual development in depth psych. More of this in a bit.

Anyways, that's my anticlimactic reasoning for why I am more forgiving about the issue than you are. To be honest, I've been so consumed exploring my masculine psyche through jjk (because personally my feminine psyche is more developed in certain aspects) that I just never focus on the female characters (that is not to mention what I shared earlier).

ANYWAYS, I fucking love what you wrote about Gege's exploration on power from a masculine perspective because you're 100% spot on. What I'll say to that is that, to me, from a depth psych perspective, that's kind of the whole point.

I invite you to look at it from this other level of perspective (in addition to the whole "Gege's psych is a product of his upbringing"): the whole idea of individuality and focusing on the sense of self as a measure of "The Strongest" is being shown as an incomplete part of the equation...

... that leaves "the strongest" ultimately feeling dissatisfied.

This is a sentiment echoed by several characters because ego strength (masculine definitions of strength) is ultimately an unbalanced measure of strength precisely because it ignores feminine values and measures of strength.

Who knows where Gege is taking jjk at this point, but I will admit I am hoping he is going to explore this in more depth because, central to Jungian thought and depth psych is the idea of the Buddhist middle path and union of opposites.

In Jungian psych this means that, when you have an unbalanced ego attitude like that, something has to give so that the pendulum swings in the opposite direction, which gives the ego the experiences it needs to integrate the "opposite" attitude. This ultimately results in a more holistic and balanced perspective for the ego.

That to say that I'm wondering if Gege is going to make the pendulum swing in the opposite direction with the whole "individuality" idea since self-preservation is a "masculine" trait. Again, psychologically, it's all about balance, and right now, the story is out of balance in favor of the masculine traits you mention.

But... to bring it back to Gege's possible limitations around his perception of femininity and how developing a healthy relationship to his anima (femininity) is a precursor for psychospiritual development... what if, on a meta level, jjk is depicting part of Gege's journey towards integrating and deepening his relationship to his femininity and what you're seeing is the beginning of that journey?

Hint hint Tsumiki! maybe I'll write about it someday

This is the thing... In depth psychology, more specifically what is called "the psychology of fairy tales", fairy tales and myths are stories that depict the thinking patterns of a peoples through metaphor and symbol. The characters in these myths and stories are thus characters playing out dramas in our own psyches. So basically, think of jjk as an objective exploration of Gege's subjectiveness (psyche).

Admittedly, even if the pendulum swings in the other direction (more feminine definitions of strength), you might find that his exploration is rather shallow or that it falls short of your expectations for what you'd like to see from a feminist perspective. And you wouldn't be wrong for it, it's just that Gege is probably not on the same level of understanding that you have about femininity because he's, like you and I, a human on a journey of self understanding and growth reflecting on how his environment has shaped who he is.

The same goes for women with internalized misogyny. Sometimes you don't know what you don't know, and coming to an understanding of it is a process that doesn't take place overnight.

So I think the only part I'll disagree with is that Gege is a sexist writer. But that's perhaps because I'm being a bit too technical in what sexist means? i.e. masc supremacy or hating women and perpetuating stereotypes. I think that rather than being sexist, his unconscious biases are showing, which is why someone like you can pick them out.

I do understand where you're coming from though, and admittedly perhaps I am being too forgiving of him.

Last thing I'll say is that I've said a couple of times that wanting for jjk to have these iconic female characters feels like an exercise in futility. In retrospect, I now understand that it's not that anyone shouldn't want for jjk to have iconic female characters, but that doesn't change the fact that jjk will probably remain the wrong manga to look for them, and that's something to make peace with because it is what it is.

So, here's to hoping we get a chance to see a deeper representation of feminine values in jjk or Gege's next manga. Because, if he's done such beautiful work with the masculine psyche, like you, I'd be curious to see what he makes of a deeper exploration of the feminine psyche.

Between you and I, I'd actually love reading a proper battle bl from Gege. And I mean proper. Like... gays so canon that even the dudebros can't deny it.

ANYWAYS... giiiiiiiirl what an ask 😮‍💨. I don't think I've done it justice tbh. But hopefully I made sense? I really do love what you wrote. It was very eye opening to see this age-old argument spelled out the way you did it. So thank you again for sharing your thoughts!

If you over have any other thoughts on the topic I look forward to hearing from you!

I rambled too so... hopefully I made sense 🤣.

#ask the mental gymnastics anime girl

[spikeinthepunch]

ok so sonic prime season 2. time for me to be a sonic nerd, so spoilers ahead.

one thing tho! i have been watching to show in japanese dub because i wanted to hear the same VAs from the past, but i dont know japanese and if anyone does and is watching it in japanese, id love to know if there have been any noteworthy differences in the script. It seems pretty close to the english script though from the very little I knowledge (i imagine it is quite close due to the translation being english *to* japanese)

anyways. im gonna mostly cover the characterization, and bring up plot when its relevant. but first thing to establish- prime's characterization isnt inherently bad imo, and its okay to make changes for different kinds of media. i still have opinions of course, but i dont think those opinions affect the fact that i do think these changes work for what prime is generally.

some of this bounces off thoughts i and i know others voices in season 1.

sonic is very energetic, maybe a bit too much, but shows nowadays do tend to be very fast and snappy. and of course, VA do more work with implying the characterization, which is where my difference lies in impression. Jun'ichi Kanemaru has always been The Sonic for me, as much as i do have nostalgia over some english ones (my fave english sonic and shadow has always been Jason Griffith). And his work in prime sounds much like any sonic role before of ourse-- though the actual script is kinda where my opinion changes but that more has to do with the Hip language and present day quips found in many american english kid shows. its expected.

I love Jun'ichi still having his typical sonic quirks in prime because it does make me feel like sonic still Works the same. his energy may be a bit different but it does remind me of how things like Sonic X treated him for being paced for a tv show. Also i REALLY love that the japanese script had sonic speak english. if you listened to him in japanese in the past, you'd know that Jun'ichi gets to say english often- those are often his quips, to "americanize" him as sonic's intent was always to vibe like that. The main thing missing from sonic is that lazy/laid back energy he has, really. and i know others agree. but i get for a fast paced show that wouldnt work well. but sonic can be a bit careless and selfish even, and that doesnt seem to happen much or at all.

shadow is one i have more thoughts on, and its no surprise many others do because shadow is a very specific kind of character that isnt easy to get right. Even as i listen to Koji Yusa, the guy who's played shadow since the start, the way i see shadow act and the script makes him feel way more off than sonic despite that. Within the first episode of s2 (and maybe the first of s1? where they were raving n stuff?) shadow is aggressive, and i think thats a good descriptor for him in this show.... my main issue with him being aggressive is just the episode opening with shadow just beating the shit out of sonic lol. i get that he is mad but we see him just.. quietly fighting sonic and beating him into the ground?? and i just don't get that choice. What would i want then? for shadow to be more vocal at least, while beating him up lol. i would want him to angrily voice why hes mad. they get the "quiet" idea of shadow but took it the wrong way. and the reason why it feels even more out of place is that its sonic hes beating up with no voiced reason. that is not someone he casually fights so hard. so if he were too decide this, thats why id wanna hear shadow talking shit too, i would like to know why he's mad enough to do this to someone he doesnt do this to. it kinda means a lot for him to act that way towards sonic- he doesnt do this in the games at all, i think many would agree shadow isnt aggressive at all, not in the way of being outwardly violent. other wise i dont have any issues with his general dialog, or what choices he has made or his goals. they actually feel pretty in character. its just the way they have displayed shadow's aggression toward sonic that i just dont care for.

Much as I thought this abt the last season, I don't think I can say much about all the other characters from different dimensions... they're all their own thing, ya know? And they're fine. But I was always wishing that the main Eggman from Yoke was designed a bit more like our main Eggman. I don't hate his design. On the eggmans in general, theyre fine. theyre all supposed to be funny stereotypes but they just arent interesting as characters to the story, except for the main one i guess. also hate that fucking baby. i would maybe bear him if he was like, a 5 year old. you have the brooding/annoying teen and you could have the dumb whiny toddler. idk. but i hate that baby.

Next important think though- metal sonic. I think the new design isn't bad, it's a unique take and its neat. But there is something much more aggressive about the typical design that i wish they stuck to. :/ it's sharp. A little *too* close to sonic. You know? But his personality. Oh man. I get it's fitting the "modern" almost cute electronic emoticon face being flashy, and again the fast pacing. I thought I'd enjoy Jun's acting at least but the writing is just Not my thing and ruins it for me. I would have enjoyed something more akin to the metal Amy from that world? Deeper voice? More robotic? Maybe they could have leaned into that loose, almost reckless and impulsive side of sonic. i get they wanted to exaggerate his show personality but making him annoying as hell just made the interactions so overwhelming. Also this "metal sonic" is being called Chaos Sonic. Interestingly the English subs are calling him Super Sonic? Might just be an error.

anyways next onto some story details... in general i do like the plot. its good! has some nice drive for it to keep going. shadow finally coming in to explain more helped and now nine coming in to take control of the plot after shadow is a good lead for a new season. i hope shadow gets more screentime if they get a new season. maybe taking ONE key guy from the other dimensions and then shadow as the s3 "main cast" would be good. and then i would like to not see the dimensions much at all again, or you know. new ones?

but like. i gotta say it, i am a bit tired of some of some dimensions.. ESPECIALLY the fucking pirate one. get me OUT of that blue ass place please!!! they spent way too much time there and i do wonder if it was to have less of a load on rendering. good christ. i never want to see that place again.

i think the issue too with shadow not showing up was they really set up how he needs to help sonic. they were a team. and shadow should have really bugged sonic more about him fucking up. Nine got to communicate with sonic (and barely did for most of it) and i think shadow should have had that ability more. shadow REALLY should have seen sonic fucking up, it would give even more reason to be weary about him by the end, where they let nine do his thing. we couldve gotten an explosive angry shadow reacting like "what the fuck is wrong with you i knew you couldnt do this" or something.

the plot is just fine but the characterization and how the characters affect the plot can kind of be where things go wrong i think. considering season 2 is actually season 1, id hope maybe theyll improve on an actual next season.

#sonic prime #sonic prime spoilers

[unfortunatelyilikebnha]

iida for character opinion bingo!

[ID: a bingo board labeled “character opinion bingo”. It has a dark blue background with white text, and contains 25 squares, which are labeled as follows:

1) “everyone but me is wrong about them <3” 2) “im obsessed with their character arc” 3) “they got done dirty by the fans” 4) “they got done dirty by the creator/s” 5) “wasted potential” 6) “ADOPTION PAPERS ADOPTION PAPERS FILING THE ADOPTION PAPERS” 7) “I am constantly going insane rotating them in my brain like a fork in a microwave” 8) “they work better as part of a dynamic” 9) “the popular ships for this character suck” 10) “overrated” 11) “constantly listening to songs and mentally holding them up like a paint swatch” 12) “I WANT TO STUDY THEM LIKE A COCKROACH” 13) “FREE SPACE” 14) “whats wrong with them (affectionate)” 15) “whats wrong with them (derogatory)” 16) “not enough screen time” 17) “too much screen time” 18) “I would NEVER want to meet them” 19) “they’ve never done anything wrong in their life <3” 20) “my opinions would be received by most fans as akin to hitting a wasps nest with a baseball bat” 21) “this is the best character in the work.” 22) “I like them but I don’t really think about them much” 23) “I don’t really have much to say abt them” 24) “I actively dislike them” and 25) “BITING AND KILLING AND MAIMING THEM AND DEATH AND VIOLENCE”.

“I’m obsessed with their character arc”, “they got done dirty by the fans”, “they got done dirty by the creator/s”, “FREE SPACE”, “not enough screen time”, and “they’ve never done anything wrong I’m their life <3” are hi-lighted in yellow. End ID.]

IIDA MY BELOVED!!!!! I was also tempted to put “best character in the work” bc he’s definitely up there!! The fans like to boil him down to stereotypes and horikoshi wrote him out of the main trio (HOMOPHOBIC!!!! I MISS THE MIDO/IIDA/URARAKA MC TRIO! …todoroki can stay tho I like him. BUT THATS NOT RELEVANT! ANYWAYS!), but his character is so good, and though he’s confined to the background a lot of the time, his character development is very clear if you pay attention (& it’s great!!! You can SEE all the effort he puts into learning and growing, & how he pushes himself to be the best person and hero he can be!

It’s clear that he has preconceived notions about the way things are, but unlike many people Iida is always willing to listen to other people’s perspectives, and if they bring up a point he hadn’t considered/a way he was failing, he immediately apologizes and sets to reevaluating his worldview & correcting his behavior to match what he now knows!! It’s really honorable how willing he is to admit his own mistakes and work to overcome them. & yes I said he did nothing wrong fully aware of the stain murder attempt idc like obviously murder is wrong but 1) gotta respect his guts to go after a serial killer 2) he was coming from a place of grief and 3) after his unsuccessful murder attempt, he realized that he had been wrong and not acted in a heroic way, and not only changed the way he thought about heroics but also thought about stain’s motives from a more objective perspective, to the point where, after Kaminari called stain cool/apologized for thinking so, Iida admitted that he could see why Kaminari thought so. So while yes,his murder attempt was actually wrong, he has still done nothing wrong ever in his life <3

I also thought about putting “he works better as part of a dynamic”, since he is part of so many good dynamics (Uraraka & Iida & Midoriya & Todoroki & all 2 & 3 person groups within that group + him & tensei to name a few) but I also think he’s a neat guy on his own <3

Anyways this is long af but suffice it to say I LOVE Iida Tenya & he deserves more from both horikoshi & the fans (ESPECIALLY the fans 😑 some of the things ive seen people write about him…ohh boy. Hate.)!!

#bnha #iida tenya #asks #i Hope this is coherent it’s 7 am and I haven’t slept #i also thought abt putting ‘everyone is wrong abt this character but me’ but there r a few people who do Iida the justice he deserves so #Iida appreciators my beloveds <3 #anyways thanks for sending me this! i love talking about (& being so normal about) characters!! #& Iidas definitely in my top 10 bnha characters I love him sm <3 #people hate him bc of his autistic swag /hj #but not me. y’all stay safe tho

[wizisbored]

am currently lacking Thoughts, but this is such an incredible concept, so what are some of your Thoughts?

ok so some of this is not very fleshed out and theres some points where i have basically no idea how stuff goes down but heres the gist:

so first off, the maitlands' house is in hatchetfield now, edge of town near the woods. at first i did this so id have a way to bring in hatchetfield characters if i wanted them but now the witchwoods are kinda relevant too so thats fun.

so beetlejuice in this au is kinda a patient zero for the infection. why? no clue. dunno where he came from except out of the forest. is he connected to pokey? probably. maybe hes a prophet idk. but anyway hes lurkin, i think maybe hes visible from the start here, and after the maitlands die he infects them.

the infected in this au are pretty much the same level of 'just kinda chillin' as paulkins in igtlt. beetlejuice is the only one whos really interesting in killing and infecting, which he is annoyed about. hes techincally hive leader but the maitlands dont really listen to him, hes trying to teach them to be scary zombies like him but as with ghosting theyre just not very good at it. and as hive leader he could just take them over completely, but honestly hes too lonely for that.

the infected either hide in the attic or woods all through the process of the house being sold - theyre not strong enough (not entirely sure yet on the logic of why, probably because the maitlands wont back beetlejuice up) to start killing people for themselves to add to the hive but the maitlands refuse to outright leave. when the deetzs show up like in the show the maitlands want to get them out, beetlejuice tells them they need to get better at zombie-ing and kill them, but adam and barbra decide amongst themselves theyre just going to scare them out. they try to scare lydia, it doesnt work, they agree to try to scare charles. obviously this time charles can see the maitlands since theyre zombies rather than ghosts, but since theyre such ineffective zombies he ends up thinking theyre just random living people and ends up chasing them out of the house.

so lydia goes up to the roof and finds beetlejuice. with my current idea of how the scene goes i honestly have no idea why lydia doesnt jump, but ill come back to that. anyway, beetlejuice thinks 'great, a lone child, i can kill this one easily,' but she evades his attempts to sneak up on her so he can take her out quietly and he ends up realising he quite likes the kid. still wants to kill her for the hive, but starts to consider the idea that he could get her into it willingly. maybe that way shed be a bit more on-board with the whole thing than the maitlands were. they could be a team. he offers this to lydia, and like with invoking him in the show her response is pretty much a 'wtf no'. eventually he gives up for some reason, maybe she still shoves him off the roof idk, but before he goes he gives her a bit of the blue shit in a funky lil potion bottle (or, as my partner suggested, a monster can) and tells her if she ever changes her mind she has an open invitation to the hive. then he goes off to try to find the maitlands, who ran off somewhere into the woods.

the dinner party, i really need to think about more. i dont have the haunted house prospect to drive lydia to the edge, but something does. something makes her take out that lil potion bottle shes been carrying around and down it. im thinking that by virtue of her still being alive when she drinks it, shes only really half infected. not sure if ill keep that but thats a possibility. anyway, despite the fact that she goes semi-feral from the concentrated hit of blue shit and chases charles' business connections out of the house, the fact that shes maybe half-infected and also just one kid means that charles manages to grab her and shut her in her room till she calms down a bit.

thats where the 'i dont think youre going to life coach me out of the zombie hivemind' doodle comes in. charles, deep in denial as always, and delia, with way too much faith in her own methods, convince themselves that they can keep and 'tame' this zombie kid. goes about as well as youd expect. lydias not just stubborn now, shes dangerous, and tensions only rise. its not helped by the fact that shes linked up to the hivemind now, and that comes with an instinct to follow them. so one night, sick of this shit, she packs a bag and decides to follow the rest of the zombies into the woods.

for a while shes sort of lost out there, blindly following where she feels the others might be. but then she hears a wolf howl, and some instinct presses her to try it herself. so she makes this call that isn't quite a howl and not quite a note either, and after a moment hears another in reply. starts running towards it, and soon finds herself in barbra's arms.

so this starts the wierd situation of beetlejuice, the maitlands, and lydia being a little zombie hivemind in the witchwood. as ive said, beetlejuice is technically leader but nobody really respects his authority. he and lydia goof around together but if anything shes the one with the power there, still not quite on board with the whole 'killing to add to the hive' thing. as she sees it, the hive is fine as it is. where im thinking i can bring hatchetfield characters in, though, is the idea of the maitlands cleaning the goo off lydias face and taking her into town with them, trying to give her a hint of a normal life despite the fact that theres no plans for her ever leaving the hive.

thats where im up to currently, the zombies are vibin in the woods and occasionally wierding out townsfolk.

#hf/bj au

[ambered-glazed-sheep]

Please do go on about Doomslayer and his morals. I'm legit fascinated by him since starting the let's play I'm watching and I'd love to hear your take on him (I know literally nothing about the Doom franchise other than lots of blood and violence against demons and also badass music)

You know, a year ago when my friends asked me 'hey do you wanna play minecraft' and i said 'yeah sure' i would have never thought i would one day have a minecraft sideblog where i get questions about the personality of the main character of a shooter fps game (of all things!) that is known for its incredible violence.

But here you go:

(prepare yourself this has gotten way longer than i thought oh god, and also it has nothing to do with hermits whatsoever. warnings for language and descriptions of violence? and i assume the readmore won’t be working the way i want it to)

Ok so, Doom!

First of all, i know nothing about the old games, and i’ve only seen a minimal amount of Doom Eternal Letsplays. Most of this is based on Doom (2016). 

Ok so we all start out thinking Doomguy! It’s the guy you play in Doom. The hand that hold the gun YOU are shooting demons with. And sure, you can go trough the whole game with that mindset, but that’s boring and we are overthinking fictional characters in this house.

ID software actually managed to give Doomguy/Doomslayer a TON of personality despite him never saying a word, barely any cutscenes to show what he does when you don’t control him (at least in Doom 2016), and not a lot of other characters to interact with despite enemy monsters.

The game just leaves you little hints and snippets and that’s what makes Doomslayer so exciting to think about. Just the right levels between ‘cryptid half-god who never shows emotion and is a player-insert’ and ‘this dude’s got an AGENDA. he has PLACES TO BE’. You are him as you play, but sometimes he makes decisions on his own. But personally, i could never find myself to disagree.

First, you got the intro sequence. 

You got a unknown voice telling you: 

“They are rage. Brutal, without mercy. But you. You will be worse. Rip and Tear, until it is done.”

First of all, YO. WOW. HOLY SHIT.

The scene immediately shifts to Doomslayer waking up. He’s naked, he’s chained down somewhere, theresa SHIT TON of scars littering his arms and hands. First thing HE does, on his own behalf, is ripping off the chains by flexing a little (literal iron chains!!!), smashing a zombies head against the sarcophagus he lays in and completely obliterating said head into a bit of blood (mind you, three seconds after he woke up from a thousands of years long coma!! but we only learn that later), and then promptly gets up, picks up a pistol, and now it’s your, the players turn. This takes like 8 seconds in total. This man means BUSINESS. That’s the first thing we learn.

Second thing that strikes me is the interactions with Samuel Hayden. 

Doomslayer is patient when a computer voice tells him the status of the base. He is patient as he looks at the screens to see what is going on. (a demonic invasion, thats what). But then dear Dr. Samuel Hayden calls. 

Dr. Hayden says “Hi, i’m the boss here, i’m sure we can work together in a way that benefits us both uwu”. Doomslayer immediately grabs the PC screen and pushes it aside. His gesture says, i’m done with this. im sick of this dude. this guy is full of shit. And he’s right! And that after barely hearing two sentences from Hayden!

So the second thing we learn is that he has no time for people trying to exploit him. He hears Hayden, he has a gut feeling that this dude is a little fishy, maybe he just plain doesnt like higher ups and heads of facilities. But we learn that he IS. NOT. going to listen to this man, and his body language makes that very clear without being actually violent against the person (he doesnt destroy the Screen either! just pushes it aside very annoyed. He isn’t mindlessly destroying property here.)

This continues. 

Hayden goes ‘hey maybe don’t destroy that energy source!’ in the few seconds you dont control him, Doomslayer listens. He hesitates. He considers. Then he destroys the thing anyways. Hayden keeps telling him to stop, but Doomslayer doesnt listen. He’s got his own mind!

This was mostly about Haydens Company, the UAC, harvesting hell energy, and hurting people in the process. 

There’s a scene where Doomslayer rides an elevator. Hayden, over the comms, tells him that everyone that has died in the demon attack was a nacessary sacrifice that will bring a new future or some shit like that. the camera pans down to show some poor sods corpse at those very words. Doomslayer cracks his knuckles. he is NOT HAPPY about that, so we know he doesnt like it when human lifes are sacrificed. He destroys the communicator, so he doesnt have to listen to Haydens voice telling him lies and trying to sway him anymore. 

(then he takes out his shotgun, the doors open, metal starts playing and the doom logo is shown, but that’s more about making the player feel epic than showing doomslayers personality,,)

Now i would like to talk about VEGA, the AI that controls the mars facility. 

VEGA occasionally talks to us/the Slayer. He is very straightforward, tells us what to do and why to do it, and is generally very polite. In the story, Doomslayer listens to Vega. 

Now why does he listen to VEGA but not Hayden? 

I think it’s because Hayden tries to get him to do things that just benefit him, and Hayden is very manipulative in his words (or tries to be lol), while Vega just says (if you destroy this thing, that door will open. I think Doomslayer appreciates it when people are honest to him.

And in the end, Doomslayer on his own decides to save a backup of VEGA. VEGA didn’t ask him to, Doomslayer did that on his own. It’s not relevant to his mission, he doesnt need VEGA to go to hell to close portals and whatnot. But he does save him. Why? I think it’s because he cares. Because he’s come to like VEGA. Because Vega didn’t try to manipulate him and screw him over. 

Next up is the Slayers Testament. 

These are a bunch of writings/recordings that you find scattered in the hell levels. (i highly recommend listening to them/reading them, they are metal as fuck and give me such an immense feeling of power bc they are talking about me, the doomslayer)

These testaments were written by demons. They were genuinely afraid of the slayer. 

Quote:

Unbreakable, incorruptible, unyielding, the Doom Slayer sought to end the dominion of the dark realm.

As said, i don’t think these are purely talking about his physical strength. They are talking about his... well, mentality. His Codex. They see him as an unstoppable force. He is incorruptible. Let that sink in. Man walks trough hordes of demons and at no point ever thinks ‘yeah maybe this is a bit much’ or ‘they just keep coming this is pointless’. No. He’s unyielding. (Can you tell how much i love the words in these testaments? It’s just got such a nice ring to it.)

In battle, the Doomslayer is BRUTAL. He tears apart demons, rips their eyes out, all that. He stomps on heads like they’re water balloons and isn’t fazed at all. Nothing stops this man. (except players like me who fall off the map 5 consecutive times, but lets just imagine the doomslayer is actually like he would be if someone played the game perfectly. player skill shouldn’t be considered in my headcanons jahdjhgd) One could even argue he has fun at this, because there are some animations like ripping off a zombies arm and beating the Zombie with it, or feeding a demon it’s own heart.

I feel like that says a lot about his personality as well!

He doesn’t hesitate. He doesn’t doubt himself. He doesn’t question his cause! He fights to get rid of the demons, not just the ones in his way, but every. demon. He will go out of his way to kill more demons. You could either take this as him having fun, or him following his own moral codex to get rid of every demon, or him being a not-quite-human war machine, or wanting to protect humanity from them. 

I would say it’s a healthy mix of all that :D

In older games, there was this whole backstory snippet of him returning to earth, finding that the demons had invaded his planet but also killed his pet rabbit (Daisy), and he then goes onto a 2-game long revenge trip.Take that as you will.

The last thing i would like to mention is this post.

Please watch the video. Doomguy walks trough the rows of random human guards. This is the walk of a man who doesn’t owe them SHIT. Yes, he wants to save humanity. Yes, he cares. But he also knows who he is. He knows what he did, and what he will do. He doesn’t have to justify himself in front of these shady scientists and jerky guards.THEY owe HIM, in fact. This video emits the sheer CONFIDENCE of someone who has walked trough hell multiple times and knows none of these people could even touch him. Yes, he would never kill them. He would not harm humans. But he doesn’t care about making them uncomfortable with his presence, either. He doesnt ask for permission.

(i think by now i am using the exact same words they did in that post. really, its worth the read. i think there’s a lot of repeated things between this post and that post by now but i encourage you to watch that video. its worth it.)

Also, the impact he has on the people in this room! they trip. they walk backwards. they go quiet, stutter. they are intimidated. They know he’s technically here to help and save them, but now, standing in front of them.... just wow. it really puts things into perspective. it tells the player that all the demons that he’s killed, all that the doomslayer has done... its noted. it has an impact. 

I’m not really sure where i’m going with this anymore, but watching those NPCs react to the slayers presence just adds so much more to his character. it tells us how people see him, and boy.... do they see him. 

i think it also ties a lot into how the player is made feel, controlling doomguy. all these head stomping and limp tearing animations, the guns, people being scared, watching doomslayer destroy important equipment from first pirson or pushing open doors or whatever... it just gives me such an immense feeling of power! i can’t even describe it. (...it also has nothing to do anymore with the original question but holy shit did i love playing doom for the sheer atmosphere of it. despite me being horrible at playing.)

(at the end of this i’m realizing that all of this never addressed if doomslayer is happy and content murdering demons, or if he just wants his peace and quiet but can’t help himself every time he sees a demon. i would propose to leave that up to headcanons. mine is a mix of both but in a way that makes it not angsty. like he loves to have his calm moments, but is just as happy to rip some demon’s spine out. probably gets a little itchy and impatient if he hasn’t fought in a while.)

also if you’re interested in game design and way more professional people talking about why doom 2016 is great i reccomend this documentary

...anyways it’s past 1am and this has gotten way out of hand but

tl;dr: the doomslayer is metal as fuck, he has a lot of agenda he is following, and i love him so much

#amber talks #doom #where do i even begin with this? #i wanted to answer this in the morning but that was over an hour ago now #jdakjsdhasdjh i can't help myself theres so much to say about doom!!!! #you asked for this anon #it's just so... *clenches fist* #i forgot of course that the music is pretty much the best thing ever and i've been listening to it SO MUCH while writing litve #everything about this game is designed to make you feel powerful and HOLY SHIT is it working #id software did a great job #i watched a whole documentary on this it was great #...yeah i study 3d stuff this is pretty much in m #my field haha #i've just had all these feelings in me for months and now that someone showed the slightest hint of interest it's all coming out #sorry its so unorganized i tried to at least take one point after the other #now to write another essay on why the slayer and the mandalorian are very alike in some parts but mando is so much softer #(its because slayer has been trough hell and back while mando still has hope in the world) #(i mean mando is a jaded and tough bounty hunter but all that he is doomslayer is cranked up to eleven) #(shush now i said in another essay! go to bed) #(....its not gonna be an essay its gonna be a fanfic and its gonna be great) #(mando is such a softie......) #*pushes my mando/slayer agenda on my side blog as well* ah i see #long post #...very long post #hey i've hit 2k words with this! #....i've written litve chapters that are shorter #EDIT: WAIT FUCK I THINK I MIXED UP THE SECURITY GUARDS LINES WITH A FIC I READ ONCE #or did i gave EX that line in the last ask i answered???? #i'm??? im gonna go to sleep lol

[edge-lorde]

hp update: its ur favorite tumblr user back at it again with another great post. thats right, as promised here is a more in depth look at the recent dragon themed time sensitive event!

this event takes place in year 6. bill is graduated but has been coming back to the school periodically to teach us bootleg DADA just like harry did in the books. it is on one such occasion that bill lets it slip that his next job from gringotts involves him going to the dragon reserve that we know charlie will eventually work at. bill had not told charlie about this job prior to this discussion precisely because of what happens next, which is that charlie wants to go.

this brings me back to year 4 days with the first charlie focused sidequest, where we scrounged up money to by what may or may not have been a dragon egg (it was not) from a strange man who had been seen trying to approach other unaccompanied minors walking around hogsmeade. this pure of dragon centric heart, but dumb of dragon centric ass quality was what made me start liking charlies character in the game in the first place. he begins negging his older brother in a way that is very familiar to me as a younger sibling. i as the mc of course jump on the bandwagon with charlie immediately. 

bill sounds very defeated in this part because he knows the negging wont end, and/or knows that he will eventually cave to charlies demands. “no you cant come.” he says with a sigh.

but well see about that, because charlie and i go ambush bill at work to ask again. 

as stated previously bill works at gringotts bank, which is run by goblins. i already had access to the location diagon alley, but before this event gringotts itself was closed to me. newly unlocked, charlie and i walk inside. unlike the hogwarts kitchens, it does not feel like walking into hell for me to do this. unlike house elves which only have 1 basic model used for every elf except for the 1 named elf, there is some variety in the goblin designs. there appears to be one basic goblin face that i can tell, but its paired with several different outfits and hairstyles, giving them the illusion of originality typically spent on unnamed background characters. there are also 3 named goblin characters with all their own stuff.  

the first is obviously griphook, the only real goblin character from the books. hes bills supervisor. in the books hes a pretty unlikable guy but here, though hes not nice exactly, he seems at least kind of chill. he doesnt kick charlie or me out for barging in and says its ok for us go on the mission with bill. its nice to see him unstressed. 

the other 2 goblins are the perhaps, hopefully, cool ones. one is younger than the rest and has some friendly dialog with you and his other named goblin friend, who possibly exists so the first one has someone to banter with. they dont do anything else this event but gringotts stays open after the event is completed so hopefully they will come back again and get their own plotlines. 

anyway, charlie and i harass bill at work for a bit. his boss comes in, hears our plea, and doesnt immediately tell us to leave.  instead he tells us the rundown of bills mission: a long time ago a goblin boasted that he could craft a golden dragon egg that would be indistinguishable from the real thing. he did, and it was. so much so that a dragon destroyed his house and stole it, i think he died in the process. 

“so,” says griphook, “that is why we must send you, 18 year old we just hired, to go to a remote location filled with dragons by yourself to rifle through their nests and bring back what is rightfully ours. no we dont know which dragon took the egg or even the type. yes you can bring your little brother and his friends.” 

sounds legit. charlie and i convince bill to not only let us come with him, but also our other classmates from his DADA class due to scheduling mishaps. we go gather the rest of the class to tell them about this but only merula, penny, and barnaby show up and so only they get to go on the field trip, which is convenient because otherwise wed have half the school out there and that would be entirely too many characters for the devs to write at once. 

we borrow the same tent the canon characters will eventually use in all their camping shenanigans in the book from hagrid and get to the dragon reserve via portkey. the reserve now appears on the stairs screen as a permanent new location, not a fleeting one as i once thought. theres dragons flying all around, majestic as hell. 

its too late in the day to start searching so we set up camp and settle in, roast marshmallows, barnaby tells a story about a vampire broomstick. then we go inside the tent and play truth or dare. im asked to pick at one point which of my friends id most like to have with me if i were to get lost in the woods. i pick barnaby because hes the one who asked, but really id probably want merula there more. barnaby is supposed to be into dueling but ive never seen him in a real fight. ive seen merula take a Cruciatus curse and then get up and walk. pennys whole thing is potions too. i thought this choice would be relevant to something in the event but it was not. 

in the truth or dare game, merula gets bill to tell some embarrassing stories about charlie as a kid. he talks about charlie putting wings on their rat and a dragon mask on their owl, pretending that they are real dragons. everyone laughs.  this his a cord with charlie though and he storms out. we wrap up truth or dare and go to bed. 

the next day we begin the search.charlie has not come back yet. we realize this and begin freaking out, start looking for him instead. we scare a mother dragon off its nest for unfathomable reasons. eventually we hear charlies voice coming from inside a cave. we go in, charlie is alive and uneaten, but has a broken leg. he ran off to find the egg by himself in order to prove himself as teen boys are wont to do. bill and i then realize the other 3 didnt follow us into the cave, and a big ol dragon walks in. i gotta fight it singlehandedly while bill heals charlie in the back. 

the boss fight was actually pretty hard. it took me like 5-6 tries to beat the dang thing thing. much enjoyment many high stakes. i put a sleeping spell on it to stop its attack at the end, though i had the option to use the Cruciatus curse which seems a little intense, game. then the other 3 run in and are like cool your safe! sorry we couldnt help u fight the dragon, there was a dragon. im like “yes, understandable.”

bill had given up on finding the egg at this point, but then charlie finds it! its a gold egg. in retrospect this egg might have been the egg that will inspire the gold egg stealing challenge in hp book 4 but i forget if that was inspired by a story or not. 

then we have a cool down level with bill and charlie, where they both apologize, and charlie says what he did was stupid, but i insist its wasnt stupid it was cool and good even though that is factually wrong because thats what i would say in real life regardless. bill and charlie promise to never speak of this trip again, especially not to their mom. 

the last level is us going back to gringotts and regaling griphook with the tale of our journey, including the marshmallow and truth or dare bits. he says “great job, teens!” and then we all jump up in the air and the theme song plays as we freeze midair and the colors fade to black and white. we all learned some valuable dragon based lessons today friends. it took me 2 full hours to write this and i have to wake up at 6 tomorrow. 

#hp #sirius business #hphm #harry potter hogwarts mystery #hogwats mystery #dragon #charlie weasley #bill weasley #penny haywood #merula snyde #barnaby lee #goblins #goblin #griphook #rambling #Thoughts

[royaltealovingkookiness]

(Pt.1) *talks about meta you posted over 2 weeks ago because that's how I roll* I've recently been thinking about the pacing of Book 3, since that's one of the biggest issues people point out with the Book. And what you mentioned in this meta here (/ post / 182754515366 / emletish-fish-royaltealovingkookiness) gets to some of the issues I was thinking about. I'm wondering if B3 would have been less wobbly if "The Day of the Black Sun" hadn't happened at e10, but earlier in the season.

(pt. 2) Like, what if only the really plot-relevant episodes happened before TDotBS, while the character-exploration pieces like The Headband, The Runaway, and The Painted Lady happened later? That would give the Gaang more time with Zuko, and also give Zuko more time in the non-super-rich parts of the Fire Nation (also because I really wanted Zuko instituting reforms throughout the Fire Nation as part of his redemption arc in B3, but that’s just a personal preference). Anyway, thoughts?

Oh, that is a really good question. Here is the original meta. I think nobody would have complained if Zuko joined the Gaang a bit earlier, because it adds so much emotional energy to the group, the potential story-lines are endless, and those episodes are probably the most beloved by the fandom - for good reason. 

I think that definitely one way would have been to have the TDoBS a little bit earlier. I don’t know if it would have been possible to put The Painted Lady, or The Runaway after the invasion though - as once they are revealed to be alive, Team Avatar would be hunted by the Fire Nation, not to talk about Zuko, who certainly had a blood-price on his head once he walked away (and a very recognizable face to boot). But there was a lot of fat to cut, so 3A could have been shortened.

The other option would have been to leave 3A the same length, but put more focus on Zuko, Azula and the Fire Nation system itself (4 episodes have absolutely no Zuko or Azula in it, in an arc that’s supposed to be about the Fire Nation)

I think the main problem with 3A is the narrative. They should have decided what stories they wanted to tell  (the bored, privileged Fire Nation high school kids one didn’t work, because that’s not how the FN rolls, if we know one thing about both Zuko and Azula that they have a drive and work ethic of manic proportions) and then carry it through:

- On the Gaang side the story definitely should have been (and was more or less) about them discovering that the Fire Nation regular people are just that; regular people - no better or worse than other nations. There are kind ones and bad ones. It would have been also an opportunity for Aang to remember what the Fire Nation was like before the war, and how the war machine affected them too (and this is why the Kuzon-story would have been important to tell). 

- On Zuko’s side - and this is where the narrative focus was completely off - the story should have focused on three things to build the moment where he says - “this is not me”

1. how Zuko tries to be the “perfect prince” - the son of his father and how the tension grows between that image and who he has become in Book 2. We don’t even see the War Council until the finale, and there is really no story told on what are the expectations placed on him. I think he should have seen that if he stays as a cog in the war machine, he would have had to make soul-destroying compromises and still not have had much impact. Because the system as a whole is corrupt. It could have been an exploration of governance with no opposition, no checks and balances, based on fear and oppression and a nation fed by a propaganda machine (and Book 4 could have been him trying to change the system and show how hard it is). This story could have been inter-woven with the Gaang’s storyline the same way Book 2 did.

2. How the home he dreamed of during his banishment is an illusion - this doesn’t exist anymore and never will (and parts of this story they told with The Beach but very little) and how alienated Zuko feels because even the people closest to him cannot understand his experience (except Uncle, but he’s not talking to him). I think there could have been also more focus on Zuko and Azula’s relationship as they are both trying to adjust living together, trying to figure out the other’s true motivations, oscillating between wanting to be closer, but being unable to trust each other and perhaps clash their very different visions for the Fire Nation.

3. Zuko realizing slowly how everything Iroh taught him was true and how the love he gave him was real compared to Ozai’s self-serving vision of his children. This would lead to his anger at himself and the desire to reconcile with his Uncle. 

4. They should have decided what they wanted to do with Maiko. The lack of direction in the writing room really comes through and I can see at least 3 different types of Maiko (one which is a superficial teenage romance more about status than feelings, one where both sides try to support the other, but just are not emotionally equipped to do so and lack full trust, and a real love story). Since this ship was the main focus of Zuko’s home experience, the lack of clear narrative purpose made those scenes really frustrating (and I’m saying this as someone who loves both Mai and Zuko as characters and believes that this relationship could have been told really well, giving depth to both characters, whichever option you go for)

With this narrative you would have the contrasting arcs between 3A and 3B:

3A: Zuko tries to emulate Ozai  - 3B: Zuko emulates Iroh

3A: Zuko tries to make a difference from inside - 3B: Zuko knows the system is rotten and has to come down

3A: Zuko realizing his childhood home is gone for good - 3B: Zuko finding a new family with the Gaang and his Uncle

3A: Ozai’s conditional approval - 3B: Iroh’s unconditional love

But I’d definitely slide TDoBS 1-2 episodes earlier, so there is time for a field trip with Toph and I agree that either as part 3A or 3B, Zuko should have been confronted with the Fire Nation country-side and how his own people are affected and suffer from the war. After all, his entire arc started with wanting to stand up for the regular people. 

Imagine a storyline where he visits the families of his dead crew-members trying to bring them some money, or he is sent to oversee the capture or imprisonment of army defectors? Or he visits a school and hear the lies they teach to children?So many possibilities…

#atla #Book 3 #zuko #the Gaang #narrative decisions #atla meta #rtk

[bladekindeyewear]

Boots Reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 10 - Candy Part 1 again

I was told that finishing the epilogue MAY make me feel better by some with opinions, with some vague hints that the ridiculous start of Candy may have underlying reasons, so now that I’m awake again (though my stomach is roiling a bit again) I’m gonna take another crack at it.

Alright, so I was also hinted that this Candy part ends with a different cliffhanger, so maybe those two will cancel out?  That’s my hope anyway.

Reading page 1 again since I didn’t finish the very tail end of it... alright, so WHY IS ROXY CRYING again????  Was she just PRETENDING that she didn’t know it might turn out bad for John if he went at the end of the last one?  Was there some weird mind-rewriting going on?  Is the crying a symptom of this whole thing potentially being an our!Callie fanfic and she knows what’s being dodged??  Don’t know.

Alright, let’s have him save Gamzee and... is Vriska going to get saved in this version?  Or is that descent into the black hole without seeing what happens her well-deserved comeuppance while only the ghost version of Vriska truly figured out how to be happy?

==>

Dirk acknowledges him when he zaps back, but it’s YOUNG Dirk so hopefully there isn’t any stupid Meat stuff going on.

...Yeah, Gamzee immediately being repentant is weird as shit.  Maybe he Chucklevoodoo’d Callie into escaping him into this whole candied mess so he could start shit, I dunno.  That or this isn’t really Gamzee or someone’s manipulating him or etc etc etc.  The hint I got earlier was that if I thought Calliope wanting to bring Gamzee back and everyone just rolling with it was a little out of character, there are “reasons”, so I’m just going through all of this under the assumption that some emotion-manipulating weirdness is going on regardless.

Oh shit, Gamzee’s going to start recounting his character reasons for doing bad stuff in a surface-hope of justification and understanding.  All the characters immediately recognize how painfully groanworthy this is going to be.

GAMZEE: AnD sUcH iS wHy I’m GrAbBiNg HoLd Of My RePeNtAnCe As FiRm AnD sErIoUs As I wOuLd A wHoRe’S tItTy!

Yeah, that really encapsulates how “serious” all of this is.  And of course, John’s not having any of it.

Yeah, Terezi wouldn’t have any of it either, remotely.

Something feels different, but he can’t put his finger on it.

Hm.  The aforementioned manipulation-weirdness?

==>

Okay, so it’s kind of Dirk who notices something different and is cancelling his stupid villain plans, got it.

Volatility of causality, huh?

(I’m going to be going through these parts a little faster than the Meat section, unsurprisingly.)

==>

Okay, Rose and Kanaya, are we gonna cure her substance abuse or--

With all the distance between them lately,

God damnit, have Dirk’s manipulations extended that far OFFSCREEN or is this legitimate character distancing???? Because either is BAD.  >:(

Right, now that the plot and “relevance” has been sidelined over to a different timeline, Rose can now breathe easy free of her condition.  And whichever parts of her condition were, perhaps, IMPOSED on her.  Fuck.

I’m going to try my fucking best to cling to this, hope I can carry on a memory after this is over that DOESN’T imagine Rose trapped in a fucking existential dying villain coma with a hard fucking cutoff that promises nothing is ever coming to resolve it ever.  (Or Jade in a somewhat-similar sidelined situation, or Jane doomed to fuck herself over and everyone else too, or...)

What’s slipping away instead is the feeling that any of it mattered at all. Was she insane to be so consumed by such lofty concerns, and is she only beginning to experience clarity today, for the first time in ages?

Yeah, you’re no longer in a timeline of Light and relevance.  And that’s not so bad, which is something you never expected to be true given your derision of the concept.  Void is pretty goddamn alright.

--Oh right, the illness and substance abuse probably caused plenty of distance between them.

KANAYA: There Was A Feeling I Couldnt Shake That Something Terrible Was Going To Happen To Us KANAYA: Something That Neither Of Us Could Stop KANAYA: A Powerful Outside Force That Would Take You Away From Me KANAYA: And I Couldnt Stop Myself From Thinking That Maybe KANAYA: Maybe That It Would Be For The Best ROSE: Kanaya... KANAYA: I Can Now See That This Is Completely Ridiculous

For some reason, this doesn’t settle my stomach much?  It’s clear Andrew wove this in here so that if you read Meat first, you’d be able to acknowledge readily how this diverged in a way the characters kind of recognize, and... I’m not sure what I’m even saying.  It’s like there’s hope that this is TRYING to take the bad taste out of my mouth, but I don’t believe it overly much.

ROSE: What a relief, considering that we are both going to be young and magically fit literally forever.

Wait, so they DID find a way to extend their non-ascended friends’ lifespans to practical immortality?  Jane’s Life powers?  Something else?

==>

yay jade.  more extended dave metaphors.  calm down stomach.

JADE: i never thought id be thinking of you as my weird nerd friend by the time we were in our twenties

Heheheh.

DAVE: yeah well i never thought youd be like the premiere woo girl on the planet

Had to look up what a “woo girl” was.

Yes Jade go flirt them to death

What she’s planning isn’t a seduction. It’s a public service.

Pff

(And yeah, she’s being pushy but at least she doesn’t go DIRK FAR about it.)

DAVE: its incredible hes driven at least ten people off the site by creating thinly veiled parody accounts of their usernames

Oh my gosh, Karkat’s good enough to ANDREW HUSSIE them?!???  :D

That’s incredible.

Karkat knows damned well what a husband is. He’s been force-fed enough bad movies from Dave to pick up any human euphemism you could name. He still plays dumb sometimes, for comedic effect, to irritate his friends, or simply to avoid a topic of conversation altogether.

Yeah, it was always pretty clear that about HALF of the trolls pretended not to understand something human that they knew about just for comedic effect and they knew it.  :)

It would be pretty easy to mistake his reaction for arousal, so it’s understandable that Jade is extremely surprised when Karkat snaps his jaw shut and chomps down on her hand.

PFFFFHahahahah :D

And yep, Jane cancelled her run at Dirk’s direction.

DAVE: lets all just thank whichever christ was responsible for making whatever decision resulted in her deciding not to do that

*nod nod*

JADE: well i hope she gets a better hobby JADE: there are a lot of less ominous things she could do with her time KARKAT: WHAT, LIKE FUCKING HER WAY THROUGH HALF THE POPULATION OF EARTH C?

Jade pinches his ear and twists hard, smiling pleasantly.

JADE: get fucked karkat

Yeah, this is about the level of violence/threat I’d expect from Jade when anyone slut-shames her for perfectly acceptable behavior.

==>

There is almost no crime on Earth C, and so almost no one locks their door.

Huh.  I guess post-scarcity might do that.

Alright, we get to see Jane being less of a fuckass.

Dirk was the one person on Earth C who took the state of the locksmith industry with the seriousness it deserved.

Pffff

JAKE: Thats my theory at least. Maybe its tommyrot but i have faith that dirk will be back. After all where is he going to go?

Good question that wasn’t answered in Meat, so of course Jake says it here obliviously.

JAKE: I must admit i am rather half rats at the moment. JANE: You’re what? JAKE: Haha sorry that was a pretty obtuse way of putting it wasnt it. JAKE: What i mean to say is that ive been powdering my hair quite a bit today.

Andrew is SO good at making Jake sound completely incomprehensible.

...Ouch, Jane, don’t drink so hard! D:

The “morbs”??

JAKE: Dirk has that manner about him does he not? JAKE: A way about him that makes you feel like whatever you do as long as it does not involve him it doesnt count for dick.

Yeah, fuck Dirk.

Hm... is the absence of relevance affecting them, or some other manipulation? It’s not just the LACK of Dirk’s manipulation.

JAKE: Except of course for that time when you were under mind control and had me trussed up in your lair as you pontificated villainously about using me as a breeding stud to create a blood lineage for your incumbent corporate space empire.

A fate Dirk seems to agree with, judging by Meat.  Let’s sidestep that fucking entirely, thank you.

...yeah, I didn’t expect Jake’s response to be any less oblivious than exactly that.

==>

So why DID Callie bring Gamzee back, anyway?  Is there some secret use for him in mind?  Was she manipulated into it?  Maybe BY Gamzee?  Hm.

...alright, priestly with followings.  That ain’t good.  Is he aiming for Clown President MK2?

Everything Callie and Roxy have done and said in this Candy section so far seems creepily contrived, possibly by design.

...okay did they have some kind of weird agreement? Like, “okay John is gonna make his choice, and if he chooses to stay i try dating him instead of you, Callie”???  That’s... no that can’t be it.  Roxy’s NEVER acted THIS oblivious before.  What’s she playing at?

GAMZEE: mY fUcKiN *gUy*. :o) JOHN: ... GAMZEE: My DuDe AnD mY nInJa AlIkE. GAMZEE: mY *hOrN* dOoOoG. JOHN: ... GAMZEE: mY hOrN tO tHa MoThErFuCkIn DoG. ;o) JOHN: waiter! help!

I’m imagining Gamzee now as a sweaty and homeless, unkempt Guy Fieri.

Yeah, this doesn’t look like it’ll be fun.

==>

...Swifer Eggmop.  ¬_¬”

There’s a third member of their social group who definitely hasn’t arrived at the conclusion that his power and influence should be meted out responsibly either. Neither of them speak his name, however. For some reason, it feels like a shadow passing over the sun. A brief spike of pain flickers through Rose’s head, a bolt that strikes between her eyes and splinters out. There is color and light behind it. A vision that tears through the material reality in front of her and gives her a brief glimpse into a parallel reality where things are very different.

Yeah, fuck Dirk.

...Pff. Yeah, Rose WOULD mimic the record-scratch gesture.

Don’t invoke “never seeing Vriska again” like that, you’re really tempting fate.

Heh, Rose is finding some Light in the darkness, wanting to do something that’s meaningful on an expressive level with this Vriskgrub business.

Hm... why is my stomach a little less uneasy?

I sure hope it stays that way.

==>

KARKAT: OH MY GOD, ARE THE MECHANICAL GLUTES ON THAT BILLBOARD ACTUALLY PADDED WITH PLUSH TO MAKE THEM MORE LIFELIKE?

Heck Yes

...Yes, touch the butt, Karkat.

Jade, pouting a bit, glides in between them and uses her Space powers to teleport Dave’s phone out from the center of his traumatized palm and into the pocket of her sweater.

Hm!  So she still has teleportation abilities over a limited range even without her Green Sun boost, that’s nice.  :D

After all, where would these two pitiful beta boys be without her?

Oh my fucking god stop being Dirk, Jade.  And never use that narrative language again, even in your head.  Heck, even if Dirk’s the one WRITING this still, don’t even think CLOSE enough to think those words.

...yeah this sounds like an Active player class taking things slightly too far.

Thank you, Karkat, for drawing the consent-line in the sand.  Looks like Jade’s backing off a little.

--hold on, wait, Dave kissed him? He did, so why is-- let me read back up--

Dave doesn’t answer. She answers for him by leaning down and planting a dry, affectionate kiss on Karkat’s cheek.

Okay I misread this line earlier.  Jade kissed Karkat when neither of them were looking and is BLAMING Dave.  Hmm.

Alright, Dave ollies outie.  Karkat tumbles down some hillstairs.

Jade could probably catch him. Actually, she could easily do it, but it doesn’t seem like the kind of favor you should do in a fledgling kismesissitude.

Thaaaat’s a little presumptuous??

JADE: well i guess im eating grub spaghetti alone JADE: *again*!!!

:C

I’d be sadder if you didn’t bring it down hard upon yourself but

:C

==>

Yeah, John, better clear up this Callie business because it’s muddy as heck why Roxy would just drop everything to try things out with you.

Ah, we’re bringing up the gender identity thing on this side too, hm?

More serious talk, this is good, reading reading...

The glasses clink together clumsily, and water gets all over the complimentary breadsticks.

Oh no.  This had better not be Olive Garden.

ROXY: no one else has ever made me feel like this

--not Calliope???

What the heck is even going on.

Dave’s coming for some bro help it looks like.

==>

It’s hilarious how much Dave is freaking out about this, and how completely in-character it is.

JOHN: holy fucking shit. JOHN: there’s a gay snooze button? DAVE: yeah man theres a gay snooze button JOHN: wow.

I love these two’s conversations

......wait, Dave’s been holding off on kissing Karkat because of what he thinks JADE might think???? D:

JOHN: i almost managed to forget that she was trying to fuck you and karkat.

Pfffffffff  :D

Yep.  I love it being put so bluntly.

Reading on... yeah, for some reason I also always figured that the end result of a nice three-way relationship between those three people would be Jade and Dave essentially both just glomming onto Karkat more than each other?  Hm.

JOHN: i mean... it doesn’t sound... JOHN: *canon*?

...I hope you’re just talking about his coin flip explanation and not DaveKatJade.  >:(

John wonders when talking to Dirk has fixed anything for anyone.

Nod nod.

She grins up at John with shimmering, adoring eyes. They’re reflecting every star in the sky, all for him.

Seriously, what the hell.  Is Roxy hypnotized?  Putting on an act?  A voidy act??

I’m not doubting that Roxy COULD feel that way about John, I’m doubting the suddenness and the way Calliope is being deliberately ignored in the situation, which is so goddamn obvious that JOHN is uncomfortable about it.  There’s something seriously strange going on.

It itches at the back of his head, the idea that he might have just fucked up Dave’s entire life.

D:

Alright next post after a bit of breakfast.

#Homestuck #Homestuck Epilogue #Upd8 #Homestuck Liveblog #bladekindeyewear #BlastYoBoots

[missjackil]

My 14x10 Opinion

Nihilism 14x10

After that long stupid hiatus, I needed this episode!! Right away Ill tell you I enjoyed it thoroughly. Very few complaints and those are minor ones. Lets get them out of the way shall we?

The voice overs are TERRIBLE! Vamps and Werewolves never had huge teeth before so no need for them now, especially since the actors obviously cant talk with them in their mouth, so go back to smaller ones please! Cas’s was bad too, because he must have had his face stuffed with cotton to make it look swollen.

I love the tie ins and flash backs to old episodes, but the explaining them is annoying. Cas didnt need to tell Sam that Pamala was blinded by his true form, Sam didnt need to remind Cas that Pamala is dead either. Sure its been 10 years so it doesnt hurt to remind viewers, but a brief flashback is enough. I know the writer may feel the need to recap everything bring brought back from the past just in case, but just lessen them is all, or make them relevant, like Cas telling someone who doesnt know how Pamala was blinded would have worked better.

The episode could have used more Sam, but Ill say that for every episode so... thats just a gimme. His parts were great so Im not gonna whine about it. Now lets move on with the show!

I think the beginning was great at Rocky’s bar! I loved the squirrel holding the beer bottle, and the moose head. (Rocky and Bullwinkle) we get a shout out to Crowley and a sublte broment in the first 10 seconds :) Pamala looks fantastic!! She had to be coming up on 40 when we saw her 10 yrs ago, so whatever shes doing, shes doing it right! I do like to see old characters come back in dreams and such, more than them literally coming back to life for the most part. Some characters Im glad came back, some not so much, and maybe a few I hope will still come back. 

I loved the shout out to FBBC, and I saw a bunch of you whine about it, hating on it and saying its tacky... I dont know why so many of you hate J2 have businesses outside of the show, it means theyre trying to be smart with their money and have things they can pass down to their kids. I am SURE not a single one of you complained about the shout outs to Jared and Jensens TV/movie projects in the early seasons, so you all just look unnecessarily bitter now :P

Moving forward, the scene in the office with Michael was a bit chaotic but its ok, a mood was being set. I loved that Sam thought to call Jessica the Reaper, and I also think its cool only he and Michael could see her. I didnt know that was the case. So he got Violet instead, and it was funny that she said they need to have shifts now because they mess things up a LOT. I always found it endearing that my big bad heros save the world and break the world in the process. Its the whole “one step forward 2 steps back” trope, and I think it keeps them sympathetic, humble, and human. 

I loved “Put Michael in the trunk of the Impala” “Garth is in the trunk” “Its a big trunk” LOL Im glad they remembered Garth is in the trunk, and that was a fun exchange.  Lets ffwd to the meat. I knew there would be a time when Michael would expose whats it Dean’s head. What he thinks about the others and though I know he wasnt telling the whole truth, I believe they all started with an ounce of truth. He told Jack that Dean doesnt love, him, he doesnt hate him, he just really doesnt care. Hes not Sam or Cas, he’s a burden he never asked for. Im sure Dean actually does care about Jack, but its probably true that deep inside he feels like a burden. 

Michael really told Cas huh? The only reason Dean keeps him around is because he “raised him from perdition..... or whatever” (great Cas impression btw hehe) and though I know Dean cares about Cas, Ive always felt like he and Sam kept taking him back because he rescued both of them from Hell. 

Now we have Sam, and this is most important. I know Dean wasnt happy when Sam left hunting, but hes always felt like Sam would eventually leave him anyway. That right there, proves who he actually loves in this whole little family. He can live without Cas or Jack, even if he would be sad without them, but he just cant fathom being without Sam. I also believe that deep inside Dean just wants to die. I feel this is true for both Sam and Dean, thats why they’ll martyr themselves so easily, because both of them just want this all to be over. 

Now, I totally love when Sam and Cas were sifting through Deans memories that Sam was smart enough to figure Mike would keep him content so he wouldnt fight back, and, that when they listened to his good memories, most of what I could hear were good moments with Sam, and also Sam knew right away which one wasnt a memory. No one knows Dean better than Sam :) So Sam pushes Mike into the walk-in fridge and Dean locks him in. Go Team SWDW!! But the story isnt over. Billie shows up and tells Dean all the books have changed and now they all say that Michael breaks through and uses Dean to burn down the universe..... all but one  (dun dun dunnnnnn) So Im betting the only other option is either a) Dean has to kill himself or b) Sam has to kill him. Either works for the scenario, but the scenes from next week looks kinda like Dean is gonna try to kill himself.  Need I say this hug that he gives Sam, that makes Sam concerned enough to tell mom about it, has my little wincest feels all tingly! It looks like a stealthy, from behind hug Sam isnt expecting, and ALMOST looks like Dean may kiss his head? (OH MY CHUCK ID DIE!!) I can imagine that Dean feels bad about what Mike said about everyone, and also if he plans to kill himself, he might want to tell Sam he loves him. (maybe even vocally?? ) in any sense, it looks wonderfully different!

All in all I really liked this episode, it was suspenseful and kept me interested. Some interesting revelations and twists, I think they did 1000 times better than last seasons return, 

On a scale of Bloodlines to Who We Are Im gonna give this one a strong 8. A little more Sam would have pushed it to a 9 :) So looking fwd to next week!

#14x10 spoilers #my opinion #nihilism spoilers

[xz017]

.

oof. okay so imma do the latest tea???

got out of shower to hear my mum talkin to Agnes spillin the tea abt their friend/coworker

the one with that Kid my mum wanted to have a playdate with or whatever the annoyingly studious and clearskinned halfasian lookin girl i really envied.

her mum has a live in boyfriend who is basically like...an alcoholic mental case rip god i hate alcohol and i hate people who drink it like i only do it so i hate myself more and die but like this guy basically playin with knives n guns in the house and the kid who is like 19 idk why im callin her kid is so Over it like apparently she hasn’t been coming home and like

basically me in 2016 era when my mum was too generous n Helpful lettin ppl back into our lives and our House so i spent christmas morning 5am walkin in the cold n watchin 3 films until it got dark and stuff like that

girl be actin homeless---mood

so it came to a head today so Agnes is spillin the tea n her husband in the bg(omg it weird hearin him rip he was my military hs instructor wild) n my mUM is so selfrighteous n mad like

‘blablahblah well rosalie is being dumb she should put her daughter first she being sick in the head it her Choice’

n im like eavesdroppin havin warflashbacks of the dumb hypocrisy she has DOne lmao

‘has she no thought like what if Tyler gets raped/sexually abused by that man she’d let her daughter be in that environment???’

i mean it wouldnt be fair of me to be like...eyemoji on this cos she technically doesn’t know? but 19 may 2018 never4get lmao

anyway so my mum’s like our room is for rent and it’ll be far cheaper they dont even have to pay rn!!!

cue me being like...um...Money...generosity...i dont...LIke

i was conflicted here like idk i met the girl like 3-5 times im envious of her work ethic n her better asian disposition than mine cos she obviously prettier but she has better prospects and that’d suck if her life be like that

but also??? like...life be like that it was like that to me like who saved me????????????????????? 

um...no one

like why is that on me or US TO BE NICE n helpful im so tired like damn which is relevant to the next point anyway

cos earlier had a convo with my mum i was eyemojing healthcare profs i was like ‘pls stop bein on ye phone pls tell me info on ye opinion on respiratory therapists...what abt PA’

n deadass she be eyemojing me like STICK TO YOUR COURSE

n i was like...-ugly pleadin emoji eyes- n i was tryin to explain that i didn’t want to be so focused on one thing that if i decide this medical thing is what i want to pursue i’d need 1-2 years just for the PREREQS which is like 5 classes and 1000 clinical hours or minimum 6 month healthcare paid job. like if i decide i want to go to school for that i already have the Stuff and just Apply.

n she was like...you had your chance i bothered you to be a nurse a few years ago you were stubborn if you did as i said you’d be earning good money now but you wasted time

n i was like...oof i can’t say anything to that it’s tru. it real life tea it fax i wasted time n im old n im ruunnin out of time i hate myself alot i hate hate hate

and idk we got to talkin abt money n life cos she was like you have to find something you can learn to LOve

n i was like??? WHY I GOTTA SETTLE N FOOL MYSELF TO DO SO im super annoyed abt that mindset

cos the thing about a bloody Arts degree is there’s too fuckin many broad possibilities n they all aint even that good. like deadass if i was a STEM major ugh like if i was a Bio major prospects are so clear: forensics, research, premed,labtech. Meanwhile polsci for example: uhhh teacher? prelaw? politician? uhhh government work? n there’s like 111 different subdivisions of that n it’s like??? wat the fuck

deadass what am i gonna do with international security is that even gonna pay well like...the fuck do i know is it relevant ??? Doubts

n she was all like...PEOPLE JUST GOTTA DO WHAT THEY HAVE TO TO SURVIVE YOU GOTTA FIND YOURS N STICK WITH IT

n i was lowkey panique n frustrated cos i really REALLY hate being stuck in 1 ting n im like i HAD ACTING YOU SAID NO

n she was like pFF i wanted you to have something REAL cos if you dont make it in acting you’d be on the STREETS

n i was like...lmao lil did she know imma be on the streets next year smh this year actually

n she was like talkin abt the harsh reality of the workforce and how you gotta make do at how ppl treat you (patients) n how you might not even like your coworkers but you gotta deal with it because that’s what ppl do to survive

n she was talkin abt undeserving patients with no healthcare n i was like did you just hear yourself so you want them to die cos they dont got money and she was like 

no??? why get hooked up in the ICU when you’re braindead wasting government money taxes we payed for you don’t understand cos you dont have a job and dont get your salary cut cos of taxes and these people come in acting like they got something to give when they yell at your face acting like they know what they’re talking about they act entitled when they have nothing homeless ppl getting money and illegal immigrants are selfish bringing their kids to be hurt here

n im like...theyre life is ...shitty what are you talkin about n she was like so? why dont they stay and make it better??? one of my very first patients asked me why i was in america and i said i come from a poor country and they said why didn’t you stay and try to make it better? and i couldn’t say anything cos u know what they were right why dont illegal immigrants do that??? n im like...

cos theyre literally...RUNNIN and they want ppl they care abt i.e. children to be far away from that as soon as possible bruh ye think imma wait for change deadass there a reason why we suffer duterte he actually get shit done??? we dont have to wait for change the same way ppl who speak nice n are polite do but is stuck with bureaucracy and lowkey bein corrupt deadass stay in ye lane

n she’s like well i hope you’re right im done bein an idealist im a realist now i believed in good i wanted to help the world now no more

n im like...no you’re not a realist, you’ve just been hangin out with a republican

and she gave me a sideeye 

but deadass im ...scared like i really hate the empathy because when she was being serious n talkin n being honest abt things for once i started to unwillingly see things from her point of view i really felt it n i was scared i’ll be like that im scared she’s right

im scared i’ll end up Real n selfish like...i already am ? n bitter? like i care about so very few Personally and am willin to let others suffer to keep it safe n prioritised?

im scared.

like especially with racism all these years my mum’s been telling me it’s not that im racist just wait til you work with them they act so entitles and loud and make everything about race

n i almost told Her abt it earlier i skyped w her earlier we had a tea spillin moment about our ethnic relations bein racist but then idk we talked alot i guess the text got buried or unseen

like i said i was scared n didn’t get to unpack it like im scared because ive been livin with my roomate and like...ive been excusing it as a personality thing and that if it were anyone else different skin colour id still hate them just the same which i still maintain is true but like?

my RM is loud n she makes everything abt race like deadass me n my FM be just eating dinner and she passes by us and goes on a rant about harvard asians being a Blok to black ppl from getting There n im like...im tryna have dinner so i can get energy to deal with this stressful ass school

n she always talks like she knows what she’s talking about like ‘jewish ppl control the federal bank’ n im like...it 1am in the dark quiet of our shared room deadass i dont wanna tell the binch thats antisemitism cos she gonna be like im black how can i be racist smh

im!!! scared alright like i hate my roomate for proving my mum right when i try so hard to set things right like maybe that’s why i dont tell anyone about my situation other than Her. i never told my parents about the berkeley livin situation they already warn me enough to be careful n i just keep tellin them thats racist

i have so much........THOUGHTS n........DILEMMAS...n FEARS but like i just have this blog i cant trust anyone else to talk abt it n the only person i am willing to talk to abt it will be busy and im so ashamed abt these things but she was so sweet about givin me the heads up about her schedule 

like i hated that i had to get an ugly ass haircut today cos she came back to me n we couldve talked so i guess rip she was complacent n did stuff cos she replied late from then on like that dumbass haircut was 15 minutes ugh. our talkin pattern today was like...dashed lines timereply wise? i asked her if she packed earlier (pre haircut)n she said yes but rip a few hours later she was like...I need to pack 

wat is the truth rip

the tablet bein emo like...mood but my child rip.

my love be packin n spendin time with fam before leavin for london tomorrow

n even after that she doin...Stuff. rip.

which is ye know good for her rip.

i just hope she dont go iceskatin deadass one slip n she can crack her head open or break her neck or paralyse her spine like...??? why do humans wanna do dumb activities

like omg she admitted to me today she a serial jaywalker and WORSE with music n headphones like

binch thats why i didnt wanna enable you further by gettin ye airpods deadass bye

n she was like??? tryna equate it with my risky risk like ummm

mine is for science n validity

hers is just carelessness n chosin lazy convenience over idk...the responsibility of self vigilance like...

bruh ppl shouldnt promise someone 91 years if they be continuin to do dumb stuff consciously oof rip

but other than that like...im...really proud of this resolution she be undertakin officially on the 14th?

im nervous abt it cos i really want it for her too. i want her to get the proper sleep n i always hated her givin excuses like ‘IM FINE ON 4 HOURS OF SLEEP’ ‘I NAPPED 3 HOURS 38293820 HOURS AGO IM FINE I MADE UP FOR IT’ um...blokt. get proper sleep binch i love you tf???

prioritise work cos ye gonna regret not givin it yer all??? n ye payin for this???

what fun??? we capitalists now we want that money rip.

i see that shift you know rip i saw it comin a year ago.

that dont mean we republicans rip we still care about others n the inequality? but like i foresaw us getting acquainted with the harsh reality of the world n how difficult it is to get a job--which she experienced along the way.

n rip she wants many things bookmarkin them n honestly same rip

i want a stable warm home for this family n a shiny diamond to get disassociated by extra im a simple man

meanin im selfish n im ready to prioritise meanin im ready to make the choice for others to fall apart/behind if it means puttin This first rip

god pls dont make me a republican this so ugly

# 1 she’d hate me #2 i’d hate me

now im sad

im dead.

omg rip earlier too as she said goodbye i told her i loved her and she was like ‘i love you more’

DEADASS I WAS LIKE LMAO!!! girL i dont think you understand im literally Ready to put you and our possible future First like...im not messin around what skitrips with rich ppl what friends my love is potent n extreme n COncentrated like im sorry ik you feel love for me but you cant top This rip she not ready 

like the um ‘partially wanna make my life’s work abt knowin what might hurt n kill ye so i can kill it first or blok it well’ kinda love

the ‘im already savin for at least HALF a first month deposit in an overpriced london in case you wanna settle down wit me Mayhaps n im not touching it for ANYTHING’ kinda love

the ‘im thinking of a winter home in the tropics so you suffer less n im plannin the floorplans already rip just in case’ kinda extraness

but anyways the gall of this cute lovely human rip ‘i love you more’ ummm try Again smh

bruh i love her too much i bet that’s scary for her rip it might be a Burden tbh she so young rip 

meanwhile im old n ready to rot but like...

i wanna be mortal wit ye before i do

but ye know wat lads i saw myself in the mirror today like 5 times OOF. this meatform...keepin me...Humble. 

bitter but like...humble

‘like of course sHe not ready not only is my personality like dis but also...my outward form how could she introduce me as a Spouse’

‘wow i look like that oof it good i remembered i am undeservin of full intense love like in the films n fanfiction they always between attractive ppl after all it only 1/2 it not Equal’

‘wow bruh ye really upset she spendin time n resources elsewhere when you be lookin like That? ye dont have much to offer bro take the L’

oof so that’s the personal tea i can think of?

had a meghan marke talk rip i can’t believe i was right??? i had twin vibes!!! but i was hoping for like a variety situation rip im worried a lil abt the whole birthin Late ting but she can afford the highest care rip it fine she rich.

my love was talkin abt how pretty MM was n i was like rip is she triggerin Her a lil rip worrirooni

rip speakin of babies like she was showin me this smol gummybear n im like same das me heart n she was like :( n i was like it only fits you

n she was like so no children then:(

n i was like!!! rip if it Ours of course that Counts n i was a lil shook like rip she said she didn’t want them Really so i always get guilty when i talk abt the future or realise i mentioned kids or carelessly name drop Hyaline n Benzion like...im dead rn just typin that like what if she read this big shame bro

but ye know what this is already long n she gonna be busy maybe that’s the key. TOo Much puts ppl OFF so ye mayhaps we sneaky ! ?

anyway i was tryin to get her thoughts on it rip but like she was all iDK ASK ME IN 13 Yrs n i was like...

sighemoji + sandemoji + resignedemoji

rip we talked FAaC a lil. cos she Dared!!! to liken me to her brother just cos i showed her my cheap youth boy shoes smh

At first i was super offended n disgusted but then i was like rip eyemoji if ye into that

then she was like ew nO

then i was like um ye already play the ‘daddy u like me young huh’ card

which is like idk is like technically? joking but it’s like that post ye know abt ppl bein ‘whether or not im actually jokin or flirtin depends if you into it’ but also like schrodingers racism like ‘it was a joke bro!!!’ but they actually bigots.

so it DIFFICULT for my brain to Confirm rip like...eyemoji what is the truth

but like??? im rip. willin. rip. to. rip. Try. rip.?

really i am rip. it Her. bruh. im only hopin she dont have a golden shower kink but. trust i...Will follow thru.

nO IM REMEMBERIN THE DOO DOO POST DESPAIR

rip anyway that whole thing reminded me of FAaC origins which was porn n then somehow sHe was like imagine if egggsy was a singer he’d sing like ‘age is just a number’ shit n i SPILLED THE TEA ABOUT A TING IN PT 3 im so weak sand

i miss the gays

i wanna give them justice n happiness but the 2027 excuse is rl nice for my ugly procrastination issues oof but i wish them well

add: rip had another talk with my mum i really wanted her to understand my thought process about wanting to get the prereqs for medtraining done beforehand

n she was like...I UNderstand but Normal people--

n i was like ‘IM NOT NORMAL I DONT KNOW HOW TO CHOOSE I HAVE NO IDENTITY’

n she’s just like SHOOKE n mad n clearly dont understand that im fukt up in the head ‘...IC AN’T BELIEVE YOU!!! iF YOU’RE ABNORMAL YOU WONT GET HIRED N YOU WONT HAVE A NICE JOB’

n im like...well i mean what can i say to that it’s not like it’s not tru rip

Big sand honestly.

it gonna be a long few days imma do my best to leave her alone she needs her time rip i love her so much rip sand

i feel like a dumb ugly dog god fljækadfkøad h8

#personal tea #read more only #entry

[zed-36]

i was thinking about this a lot, and normally i wouldnt go so hard on headcanons related to where characters live because usually its not relevant (or usually its established in canon) but WR/Acceleracers leaves a lot vague and with everything centering around driving and the fact a few locations have been named, i got curious thinking about where the drivers all came from mostly during World Race because Tezla really just went a chose good drivers from around the world- so many people probably didnt even live in the states.

so, im just gonna ramble about......locations, more so focused on the state of everyone in Acceleracers. considering i live in LA i felt pretty comfy thinking about the real life locations bc i actually know where those places are and ive come up with some pretty specific ideas based on my experience in socal.

It didnt come to mind at first but we’d have to assume all the Teku members and Metal Maniac members are in California-- simply because Vert lives in cali, and he seems to be able to conveniently go home from where they are based through the movie. i can only guess Tezla’s new base was just placed somewhere else in Arizona, maybe more towards Nevada? but yeah, that sets up the “boundary” i feel is logical. they are probably within socal, Nevada and Arizona. maybe a little for some characters norcal.  thats not to say some of them didnt grow up somewhere else, though.

Teku guys first:

Vert, we obviously know lives near the beach in cali, and my first thought went to Ventura. Its not that far from LA and in Alec’s comic (issue 2) they are driving in LA in what i wanted to assume was on their way back to Tezla’s. i also feel they couldve been going for Long Beach but...i like Ventura more.

Kurt-- while i said everyone on Teku/MM is based in cali Kurt being in WR lets me assume he came from somewhere else and personally believe he lived in like... Chicago, or something. some sort of major city but probably not LA until he came out for WR and got to know Vert after. Though considering he was apparently in grand prix and did lots of racing before i imagine he likely traveled a lot. so id say he now just lives somewhere in LA- maybe like, west Hollywood coughs aka the gay place

Nolo+Tone i immediately felt for San Diego. i love it there and it always brings on such a good vibe- id say “chill” vibe but w how opposite Nolo is of chill for the whole series it wouldnt sound like it matches, but. ya know. 

ok, this one is oddly specific. but Shirako? ok so Shirako always comes off like one of those kids id see in highschool who was like really into their own zone- their super specific interest they had no shame in but everyone kinda always thought he was weird? him and his music and his insanely chill attitude would kinda stick out- probably seems kinda cool but hes just so...like that but no one else is really like that. so i cant help but imagine he lives in a sort of town that isnt very big but small enough that someone like him stands out (my ideas as to why hes in Teku even tho hes so quiet and introverted anyways). idk what town id name but i cant help but think of where i live but smaller so like, the out skirting towns of LA.

At first i had imagined Karma living in northern california or in the middle but i suddenly realized she’d fit in Burbank pretty well, so im goin with that tbh.

Metal Maniacs now..... which were a bit tougher to figure out

Markie...bit of an interesting one because immediately i was like “this guy is not capable of functioning enough to have an apartment or house” mostly considering he was in prison. so i like to imagine Kurt gave him the chance to live with him, but bc Markie is Markie he didnt want to and secretly lives w idk, their grandparents who live in Malibu. (and probably doesnt tell anyone that bc its embarrassing and makes sure no one visits his house) EDIT: reading the comics that came out before the World Race movie, Markie’s comic shows a flashback taking place in New Jersey- he’s racing with Kurt. something i hadnt mentioned or gone over was his very obvious New York accent- which i realize they never mention in relation to Kurt who is his brother... its obvious we can consider Markie lived in New York long enough to get that accent but... why doesnt  Kurt have it??? Mostly stating this to clear up my thoughts on Kurt’s location and Markie-- I’m imagining their parent split up and Kurt maybe moved out of state early in life? Who knows, Hot Wheels canon is a mess.

Tork i dont have much of an opinion on, but want to assume to he probably lives in San Diego, near Tone/Nolo. probably started a rivalry early on.

Porkchop...... took me a bit but i immediatly thought about the most country city/town i know which is Newhall. however i would assume he came from somewhere else and it would have to be Arizona- not sure where exactly.

Monkey. i dont have much to say on him either but probably Arizona, he knows Porkchop so they likely knew each other for a long time and moved to cali over time for whatever reasons. 

Taro is actually a tough one for me to pin down. i feel like Taro is so good he simply Exists.  ok but for real somewhere in downtown LA or maybe somewhere in Hollywood bc i feel like Taro and Kurt both kinda fit those vibes. (always kinda liked to imagine theyre good friends outside of their teams and wanted to live in the same general place)

after all this though the question may be “how do they all know each other? how would they meet if they dont like in the same place??” car meet ups are a thing in many places but they are definitely a thing in socal/LA. mostly modded street racing car meets. my best headcanon is they all met through going to meets and becoming friends and eventually grouping up and forming rivalries. 

#these are pretty specific but im curious if anyone has opinions as well #talks #this is so long oops #acceleracers #hot wheels acceleracers #hot wheels world race #ref #headcanon

[genngraymane]

America: Really THAT Bad? (spoilers btw)

BEFORE:

It’s been a while since I read anything Marvel in the last few years. I think I stopped reading around the time of Marvel Now! because I was too focused on DC’s New 52 at the time (plus I took a break from comics around that time shortly after). So aside from the few issues of Young Avengers I’ve read years ago, I know nothing about this character. Obviously, I’ve heard some polarizing things about this book, but I’m still pretty excited to see what the hubub’s all about. One thing I remember loving about Marvel was their teen heroes. Hopefully America rekindles the things I missed from Marvel.

AFTER:

Okay so I just finished the first 7 issues. Overall it wasn’t the horribly unbearable experience my buddies kept warning me about. No where near as offensively bad as they made it out to be. If anything my only gripe with the book is that it’s rather forgettable. With the exception of Kate, America’s supporting cast feel like they’re just background pieces with speech bubbles. Her girlfriend didn’t do anything aside from filling in a damsel in distress role. Her parents and Grandmother really only serve as plot-devices, and the rest the students of Sotomayor don’t really do anything except gush over America’s self-imposed greatness.

And it really is a shame, because Rivera introduces some really cool concepts like the interdimensional schooling of Sotomayor and the cosmic origins of Planeta Fuertona. There’s some really cool wacky Sci-Fi stuff in this book, and I’m pretty sure if that was the focus of the book then I would have enjoyed it a lot more. But unfortunately that’s not the case because the main focus of this book is also one of the things I can’t stand about it.

THE ROMANCE.

Oh my God is America an asshole to her girlfriend. If there is anything I can’t stand about romance, it’s needless drama. And holy shit, Rivera did not hold back from it. This is the first appearance of Lisa, one of America’s love interests.

I’m sorry, WHAT??? You’re not going to tell me jack about our MC’s love-interest and then break them off in just TWO PAGES? I’m generally used to teen drama bullshit like this from other teen hero books (I have Johns’ Teen Titans to thank for that), but this sequence here is just too much for me to ignore. We don’t know anything about Lisa aside from being America’s girlfriend, so that’s all she ends up being, and America just breaks things off and leaves before they even have a legitimate conversation? And America’s acting as if she’s in the right? This sets up every interaction we see between these two as needless melodrama. And that’s exactly what it becomes in later issues. There’s all but one scene of America showing remorse for dumping this chick, but then America acts like the victim again in a later issue with Storm.

Like, what is your damage, America? You’re the one who broke up with her and left in a fit but then you say shit like “SHE SENT ME AWAY” as if we’re supposed to sympathize with you throwing that necklace at her. And when Lisa finally shows up again, they act as if they spoke and came to terms, but this is the first and last time we ever see these two actually speaking to each other anyway, so what was the point?

America’s other love interest is an actual character this time around in the sense that she’s actually involved in the story, but when Magdalena is introduced, it’s almost as if Rivera forgot about the first love interest.

Either America has amnesia, or Lisa never gave America flowers, which probably puts America in the right for breaking up with her. I’d be pretty upset if my girlfriend never gave me flowers. What was the point of all this? Why didn’t Rivera just start with Magdalena as the badass action-girl love interest instead of having us deal with the damsel in distress bullshit from the non-character that was Lisa during the Chavez Guerrillas arc?

I think all of my gripes with the romance in here comes from a combination of two different things regarding this book. One is that nearly every character in this book has NOTHING going on with them. The other is that America is painfully unlikable in this.

I think the introduction of Sotomayor was pretty awesome. Rivera introduced us to a setting with a lot of potential for crazy, dimension hopping adventures while providing the framework of introducing new characters within a self contained story similar to that of Hero Academia or Avengers Academy. If America’s badly written relationships were at the background of the series while introducing a diverse, well-written cast that interacts almost exclusively with America through the school setting, then yes, I think this book would have won me over. But that’s not the case because nearly every student in Sotomayer doesn’t do anything meaningful to the story or help America progress as a character. How the hell do you have a character like freaking Prodigy on the sidelines with nothing insightful to say? They were on the same team before this! Even America’s parents, the main reason she became a hero, are constantly glossed over in this book until the reveal of her Grandmother. 

Speaking of this page here, why did Madrimar even wait to reveal herself to America until now? It’s not like anything was stopping her during all the time she spent at Sotomayor.

A lot of people I’ve talked to about this book says Rivera was trying too hard. In my opinion, she didn’t try hard enough. I know a bunch of people gave this writer shit for coming off as too preachy, but expressing positivity through diversity is a core part if America’s character and the reality we live in. The only problem I see with her writing regarding this is that it the way she portrays America makes it difficult. Rivera’s America just shouts out slogans and gets confrontational with anyone that challenges her way of thinking. America needs to be put in a situation where expressing her cultural and sexual identity isn’t accentuated through punching things while preaching about how awesome she is and getting constant validation from background characters (the prep-school cyborg fight is a jarring example). 

One of the only characters I actually liked in this book was Kate. She actually acts like she’s in the story. She talks to America about her problems, consoles her in times of need, and is generally a blast to have in this book.

With the exception of Magdalena, Kate is the only person in this book that America actually approaches like a civil human being. America doesn’t get all up in her face and throw snarky insults at her like she does with nearly everyone else. Kate is one of the only characters here that can actually get America to feel like a person instead of some impregnable brick wall. And Kate is actually involved in America’s story! She has presence! But the more I read about these two in here the more I notice Rivera was just queer-baiting them for no reason.

Like, we get Kate’s into her. But if Rivera had real control over this, why didn’t she just start things off with Kate as the friends with benefits into girlfriends angle? Why have us go through all the damsels in distress and generic femme fatale action girls in America’s life instead of a popular established character like Kate Bishop? They have a history together, so it wouldn’t be unbelievable at all. This book focuses so much on romance but never has its priorities straight on who these people are to America. It only seems to care who America is to them. And tbh I think that’s the core issue of Rivera’s America.

This is the first page of the book, and it got me super excited. I thought the approach Rivera was going to go was make America relevant not only as a hero but as a symbol. I thought this book would highlight the importance of expressing pride in diversity while expressing how America represents that pride and what that means to the people around her. I thought it would have been akin to All-Star Superman’s approach of finding the balance between the symbol and the person while struggling to understand what that might mean to the people of the world. But instead any concept of that constantly gets sidelined by the badly written melodrama bullshit all across this book. It just always stops me from getting into this.

Now if I’m not mistaken, this book is canceled at issue 12, so at some point I’ll go back and finish the last couple issues, but honestly I could see why this book got canceled. Rivera has some really cool concepts in this book, but falls short on the execution on multiple levels. Hopefully they bring America back with a new creative team because there is some cool stuff here and I don’t want it all to just disappear. Maybe even keep Rivera and give her a co-writer to help?

#marvel #all new all different marvel #marvel now #america chavez #mcu #teen heroes #America #young avengers

[deadmanzp]

aftg asks; questions by triquetrine

these are so interesting so i did all of them.. i want to come back after a year and see if id still answer the same! 

op is the post before this or also tagged “misc” 

neil josten: favorite/most iconic line?

first one that comes to mind I’m not sure is a favorite or iconic line? but it’s a line i think about a lot and it always hurts to read. it’s when they're at the cabin in TKM. 

“He didn’t care how much it hurt so long as he could pull Andrew closer, and he let Andrew take him apart until he couldn’t think anymore.”

that comes at the very end of Chapter 14 and gosh just the paragraph that line comes from and the paragraph before…. the fact neil thinks andrew doesnt care about him the way he cares/feels about andrew is like….. CMON MAN but also i just love the pining angst of it. i like this line especially because the line right before it mentions neil working his “bandaged fingers into Andrew’s hair”. so the “he didnt care how much it hurt” to me always carried a double meaning of 1. the physical pain he felt bc of his injuries but also 2. the pain of unfamiliarity abt his feelings towards andrew and thinking it was unreciprocal AND THAT HED HAVE TO “WARN” ANDREW like the implication.. of neil thinking abt their “relationship” possibly ending bc andrew doesnt feel the same and maybe wouldnt want to be entangled in whatever neil was feeling …… IM LIKE neil knows andrew so well and him being so sure abt this but hes like …. WRONG …. e

nathaniel wesninski: one thing you would change about the books? (plot, characters, etc)

there is very little id change about the books if at all. mainly bc while i know there are upsetting things that happen/the charas do, i think all of those things make the series really interesting to analyze and talk about. i will say a moment i hated was when neil touches andrews scars when andrew makes it clear he doesn't want neil to pry about them. i know neil offers his scars in turn when he's trying to convince andrew to let neil look over kevin but that was controlled. he let andrew touch them and find out about them of his own volition. neil touches something directly related to the trauma andrew had just experienced again when he had 0 permission to do so. while i always get mad at neil for this when i read it i still dont think id change it or get rid of it. im not really sure how id change it anyways and i think andrews relationship with his scars (and himself in general) is probably what allows him to brush it off(?)/never bring this up (plus maybe neil offering his scars was enough for andrew) but i havent thought too hard about this. but ya i remember i got rlly angry w neil the first time i read this scene and i still get mad abt it when i reread.

andrew minyard: if you could be friends with one of the characters, who would you pick?

i mean realistically i wouldnt be friends w jocks ILL BE REAL LOL and i think as much as i love the monsters, theres no way id be friends w them haha uhm but prob dan would be most realistic! maybe even katelyn tbh.. 

kevin day: if you played exy, what would your position be?

oh i think dealer! in sports i liked being able to do both defense and offense bc it made me feel i had more control over the field, like i could always do something if there were any holes

dan wilds: favorite moment/scene?

definitely the hotel reunion scene. theres so much to it; it drives me nuts!!!!! but honestly there are probably a lot of really good moments im forgetting. to me the whole series is really enjoyable and every scene has something i could say about it haha

matt boyd: song you would love to see in a live-action adaptation?

Oggghh this is so hard… esp since it takes place in 2007???? Idk.. iconic artists then i suppose ghfgkjhf BUT i think general vibes i think itd be so cool if paramore (time relevant), ptv (also time relevant), and mitski were on the soundtrack……. Ya…….. 

nicky hemmick: which made you more emotional, neil at evermore or neil in baltimore?

neil in baltimore for sure… neil at evermore i can't remember what i felt the first time i read it (maybe pain LOL bc he was doing it for andrew and i felt like riko wouldnt keep his promise) but in my latest reread i was unimpressed by it (mostly bc i think riko is boring and unimpressive). i think i mightve said evermore in the past though….. maybe... neil in baltimore is like … GOD neils emotions are so strong during all of that its really juicy haha. i think like him being angry bc he was on the cusp of having everything he couldve ever dreamed of; the desperation of wanting to fight back and get away; even just the fear of being in the same room as his father for the first time in so long... all really juicy 

aaron minyard: a character you will defend to your death?

defend…. im not sure is the word i would use and i dont think i really believe in defending any of these charas “to death” bc of how flawed and complex they are; id like to acknowledge when they did wrong. i think id “defend” any of the characters if i saw anyone misinterpreting or misunderstanding them.. theyre all really interesting even if they didnt get too much spotlight. except maybe riko. hes incredibly boring to me. and also nathan ig and any of his crew just bc there is Nothing abt them rlly...

katelyn: which minor character do you wish you could see more of?

uhhhmmmmmmmm hmmmmmm….. idk maybe… jeremy…. gjfjgkdngmdghs just bc him and kevin r so funny.. i was thinking maybe jean too but…… idk a diff kind of kevin relationship lol (yikes) (pain) but really im satisfied w jeans screen time. i think ichirou is interesting but again i think he didn't rlly need more. maybe erik actually. im interested to know what nicky is like with him :0

allison reynolds: favorite headcanon about the foxes?

actually something i recently thought abt was neil and photography. iirc? andrew gives neil a camera in the ec and i also imagine kevin eventually gets another camera too (i loved that detail when we saw his room at the nest) so i thought abt neil and kevin sharing/trading pics they take of (mainly) scenery. i imagine neil takes pics of anything he wants to remember/keep while kevin is more prone to taking pics of subjects related to some nerd history stuff (lol) so thats why they trade scenery pics mainly. but i like this small connection bc i want more to their relationship than their exy obsession and i imagine they have room for more now that riko is gone and i just like this other commonality btwn them. i think maybe they mail the developed pics to each other maybe w small descripts/notes but thats it. and i also imagine it kind of just is something that started happening.. neil and andrew r on a roadtrip and some building reminds neil of kevin so he snaps a pic and eventually sends it to kevin w some note. kevin replies 1. either a text being like that is nothing. > neil: shrugs brushes it off but figures he is welcome to send more when kevin sends his own picture back or 2. kevin simply replies back similarly w his own photo. i dont know.. maybe this goes beyond what their actual relationship would be like but i do like the idea of them just bein like… dude friends u know so i want them to have more than just exy and a traumatizing experience between them. 

as for common headcanons within the fanbase…. i do like the allison + neil haircuts thing.. although im not sure if i imagine it the same as most haha i feel neil would know how to cut his own hair from his life on the run (though theyre not Good or bad just like ok u know like passable generic w/e) i think hed definitely be tense the first couple times but he has experience w allison being close from needing to be covered up w make up after winter break so i think she would be allowed. 

renee walker: favorite non-canonical ship? (renison, jerejean, etc)

uhmm to be honest none really… im way too attached to canon to be able to dismiss any established relationships. i think kevemy (??? is that the name) is rlly amusing but i dont want them together necessarily haha i used to rlly like renison mainly bc im a lesbian and i want “main” chara wlw relationships lol but i recently read something abt how bi allison doesnt rlly sit well w some bc she outs andrew and neil during the hotel scene.. i also agree this is kinda :/ if she was bi Mainly bc i feel a lot of ppl (or at least this is what i gather from renison stuff ive seen) portray allison already being established bi? if this makes sense. i think if renison/allison realizing shes bi is a later development id feel better abt it but usually renison is already established so ya her outing them does bother me…. BUT aside from this, thinking about them as characters and what their partners (would) look like… im not sure if theyd rlly choose each other.. but i still enjoy seeing them together in art and in fic bc in the end…. im a sucker for women lol….

seth gordon: most underrated dynamic? (matt & neil, wymack & andrew, etc)

my first thought was wymack and andrew bc i rlllllyy like their dynamic especially after reading their ec stuff. i loved their first meeting (andrews terrible sandwich??!?fhdhfjd) and when andrew breaks into wymacks apartment BUT i think ppl mention them enough its not underrated. i Actually think renee and andrews dynamic/friendship is rlly underrated/overlooked!!! especially after reading the son nefes ec i love their dynamic a lot… 

some son nefes moments of them i liked:  tw // rape

renee convincing andrew to go with her to see matt after his trip to edens

how many knives do u carry / one more than u IS SO FUNNY and just andrews persistence abt fighting renee is also rlly funny to me

tw // rape : the moment when andrew asks renee if she killed her rapist/abuser that whole convo was good… 

their convo in the rain w their tea

i cant remember when this happens or rlly exaclty what was said but renee offers andrew something (some help??) and he says i dont need (w/e it was) and she says something along the lines of  i know but it wouldnt do any harm or SOMETHING like that.. i like this bc she acknowledges their abilities while showing shed still like to offer some help. im p sure she does this another time too (w neil???? or someone i cant remember maybe it was andrew again) and i remember liking it too. she has a way w words and talking (also seen in her convincing andrew to see matt)

BUT regardless of ec stuff i think their relationship/dynamic seen in the books is rlly good too. theres def enough to be intrigued by them and i always have been? so i'm reeeaallly happy son nefes exists i loved reading it..

david wymack: which ncaa team would you play for?

oh to be honest i dont rlly remember many of them but of the Three (ravens, foxes, trojans) prob trojans. i remember i even got them in a uquiz once… 

abby winfield: which character was the most realistically written?

first that came to mind was aaron actually.. i remember before when i didnt rlly like him or care abt him it was actually bc he was too “boring” to me. i always thought he had the most realistic reactions to things which is what made him boring to me amidst the ridiculousness of, well, everything in aftg lol… i still think he is really realistically written but now i dont think hes boring haha

besty dobson: how many times have you read the series?

fully i think…. only 3 times… i wish this were a higher count but i actually feel guilty everytime i try to reread it.

riko moriyama: coolest exy moment? (kevin’s last-minute point against the ravens, andrew shutting down the goal, etc)

uhhmm uhmm i def think kevin during the final game against the ravens…. hes so cool haha but i KNOW there were a lot of game moments that i thought were really cool so i cant rlly say…. oh also i love neil being defense in that game too rlly juicy wish i could pull up obscure moments bc i know i rlly enjoyed reading the games but terrible memory...

jeremy knox: which do you like reading more, domestic!foxes or chaotic!foxes?

uh i guess chaotic? not rlly sure exactly what that could entail but i do like… their chaos.. when they have fights and squabbles and stuff… this includes the high tension moments. ALTHOUGH i do like the tiny lines in the books when we see the monsters just doing like random basic everyday life stuff like playing video games or whatever. i like…. imagining them... fhdjfjshfjs… as for fic def chaos. i feel domestic is usually too softened….. 

jean moreau: favorite friendship?

oh i think this goes back to andrew and renee. but other than them… i do like neil and matts friendship.. though probably not the same as its typically portrayed 

#my own #misc

[theday]

I CAN'T REPLY BC I'M ON DESKTOP AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO REPLY ON DESKTOP (is that even an option??) but i agree!!! what are you thoughts, feel free to Discuss i will defend you from Bad

so the discussion here will be on people who dig stuff up from the past to use to shit on other people if that makes sense?? ill just be sharing my opinion and probably what caused me to share in the first place,,

first of all if anyone other than falen reads this id like to say that im all for discussing opinions so if you have one that differs from mine please do share as well! and if you think my opinion is wrong/incorrect let me know too!! id love to hear what others think honestly

next!! onto the actual topic of bringing up the past,, i understand that if whatever was done is relevant and if they havent apologised then it’d make sense to include it when “calling out” to add to the sources of whatever behaviour but if the person (whos being targeted) has shown visible remorse/changes/understanding then i feel like there’s no need to bring it up again? there’s also the thing where people don’t check the dates of sources so if let’s say a tweet was brought up and it was from 2015 people don’t bother to check and immediately assume that whatever said is true in present times 

in the event that whoever’s opinion hasn’t changed and they’re still quite clearly bad then bringing up the past is fine since, it helps to indicate how theyve been consistently racist, homophobic, etc. whatever the topic is then thats alright of course

however, in my opinion id rather if shit from the past wasnt brought up if the person has apologized for it,, i know it still doesnt change the fact that they used to be like such but at least theyve learnt from their mistake so theres no need to call them out for that?? if what youre calling them out for is e.g. racism then use something thats from the present and something thats accurate ensure that what youre using cannot be taken out of context. its always better to check multiple sources and see what others say first before jumping to conclusions - unless the cold hard truth is stated there then yeah. theyre problematic and are doing shit things. 

idk if this is a relevant example but you know. im sure because of the way we’re brought up, we were all homop/hobic at one point of our lives (usually when we were younger) thats because of how in media all we see are het relationships,, because everyone we know is in a straight relationship and being gay was “not normal” thats what everyone thought. its what i thought. if you dug shit up from me from the past youd probably be able to see me making fun of people who’re gay and yeah i admit i was probably against the idea of dating someone of the same gender because of the way everyone would put it 

but thats because of the environment i was put in, as soon as i started using tumblr it was evident that being gay was not wrong and that it was okay to be bisexual, asexual, whatever it is! so idk what i want to say i went off tangent its just that its better to fact check before anything else because,, throwing false information wont do anyone good. 

despite saying this i know that itll hurt seeing your faves do something you dont stan for,, and even if they have apologized for it itll really suck to see such behaviour coming from someone you love - feelings of anger/sadness are normal in such cases as long as you know that what theyre doing is wrong and want to educate them,, people who blindly defend their faves arent helping anyone especially not themselves,, thats what i think anyway!! 

i know its hard to accept when your fave does something wrong but i chose to see the good, and even if its been a few months, i wont forgive my fave for doing whatever wrong thing theyve done and thats fine! you dont have to force yourself to unstan because theyve done something problematic!! likewise, you dont have to force yourself to keep stanning because if they make you feel worse than happy then theres no point sticking around!! do whatever you think is best for yourself. 

#softshouyous #asks #went off topic as usual but #man i was reminded of j/ae #long post #discourse #? maybe #drama tw #sort of.. #ist pretty vague

[wyrddog]

so apparently the way i manipulated my ex into “not being themself” is by myself feeling like their posts they would tag their ocs in reminded me too much of me and so i tried seeing if we could just unfollow eachother from all social medias to avoid seeing eachothers posts (so they could keep oc posting and i dont hafta feel all fuckey in myself) which they didn’t want to happen and begged me not to do, so then i continue on, every other month, bringing up that i feel invalidated by seeing these things about their oc and them ignoring me or just saying “ i wont post about them anymore” which i kept saying?? i didn’t want them to do??? it was fairly clear to me that things werent wqorking out for so long but they would just convince me to stay-- anyways they randomly spring on me that they dont feel like this oc and this oc reminds them of their dad and the way their dad traumatized them making that oc militant or toxicly masc etc. and i’m like “okay sure, be whoever you wantg to be man” and then go on to say “tumblr demonized being feminine to me so now i want to be feminine” so like.... all of this shit about me trying to convince them to be feminine.... kinda smells of bullshit to me

esp since i actively let them imprint on pretty much whichever character they felt suited to at the time-- sometimes they were mj, other times they were tao-- taos not exactly what i would call feminine (neither is mj for that matter tbqh) though he can be? tao seems more masculine than me, at least traditionally.

so apparently what i end up doing is being their oc because in my mind i want to be the man of their dreams but at the same time i dont want to change so id say im their oc because if i was then anything ig whatever id be doing would already be natural for that oc, even though what im like and what this oc is like are different in various ways-- like this oc is really punk and thats kinda it but im like punk but also into psychedelic stoner shit so i’d be all of those things. and this point-- from reading all these tagged oc posts that i resonate with and hearing all these stories they tell me about this oc that i resonated with in my mind it sort of became that i just *was* that character because i keep seeing them tagged in things that remind me of myself-- so this character, in a way reminds me of me but i laos felt like i was more than just that but that being more than just that was threatening to them or that they wouldn’t like it.

so i find this [them talking about their inner voice that’s telling them to k/ themselves and that they’re worthless a series of messages but i picked this one out bc relevent];

so apparently they felt like they weren’t good enough to be with me? which quite honestly... after what they did to me, no they aren’t good enough for me, but this insecurity seems to be what was driving them to keep begging me to stay-- i just cant find any real evidence of me telling them they have to be different though-- what i suspect is going on, however, is they were expecting a lot of the same shit they went through with their ex friend/roommate who was abusive and manipulative in ways and thought i was manipulating them to be feminine the way he did????? i just dont find myself caring enough about extrenal people to control them, all i can control is my own experience and idc about what they did but i knew the kind of person i wanted to be with and sometimes they were that person ,its just when they would change and become someone else, and not just bc of mental illness or something just become an entirely different person i couldn’t handle it and i just wanted distance

-whatever-

either way, my ex is clearly to me insecure and has been insecure from the get go. i only became insecure when i realized i wasn’t what they wanted :/ its like they tricked me into thinking i was but then they slowly revealed what they truly wanted and it just wasnt fully what i am so :/

#i hate to say this but it almost feels like my ex would think of things #convince themselves of something #tell me about it #i'd be like do whatever you want man #and then when we broke up they decided i convinced them to be feminine bc idk?? i like women?? i lean more towards women?? #i have a preferrance??? but i never told them they had to be any of my girl characters #literally none at all #there were probably times i suggested that they reminded me of x character because of y reason #but i cant find anywhere of me telling them they have to be something #they just outright said this to me #they came to ME telling ME they wanted to be more fmeinien bc they felt like everything outside of them didn't want them to be #and listen idgaf about a lot of things but i do like a bit of consistency and stability? #heres the deal; i thought when we first started dating that they were a more feminine person #im someone who prefers women/feminine people #they said they were feminine and yeah #then we start dating and then they become masculine now #which i was like ok maybe i can learn to love this side of them #which i did #i did force myself to love every facet of them #then throughout the relationship they just keep changing and idk man #i cant keep up with that shit #im not someone whos capable of handling this many changes in personality #and i also do prefer feminine people so a lot of the time id find myself disengaging with them when they were more masc #not bc i didn't like them its just-- i couldn't see their masc side as someone i was sexually or romantically attracted to #their masc side felt like someone i go to play xbox with and smoke weed with and thats it #purely platonic #which i was ok w/ as far as how our relationship went #if they were gonna be masc then thats cool but i cant feel the same way about them idk #they just change so much when they become either masc or fem #like not just identity their personality