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celestialtarot11 · 9 days

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What do people underestimate about you when they meet you? 👀💐 PAC reading ☀️

Hi friends 💐☀️ it’s been a minute since I have made a post on here, but I am back! What do people underestimate about you when they meet you? Let me know below if it resonates with you, feel free to comment like and reblog ⬇️☺️

Pile 1: Hi there pile 1’s!☀️🧘‍♀️💐 I feel like people underestimate your intelligence when they meet you. I feel you are the kind of person who observes a lot and doesn’t say much, until its necessary. A lot of people hate on the quiet kids but they’re the most dangerous because they know everything 😂 thats the vibe I’m getting. You’re quick witted, you’re quick with your comebacks and people don’t expect that. People expect you to be quiet, small minded and naive. But then they have a deep conversation with you and all of a sudden its like, “i was wrong to assume that of my pile 1, damn” and it hits them! What you say resonates because its like you get to the root of the matter and pull it out. Like weeds. You pull the truth out and say it. You guys have a powerful throat chakra and it’s something to be proud of! You don’t like illusions, lies and dishonesty. You prefer honesty, openness, and integrity! And lots of people aren’t able to match that so they end up feeling attacked, which was never your intention. Thank you pile 1’s for coming by 💗 I hope this resonated with you!

Pile 2: Hi there pile 2’s! Welcome to your reading 💐🧘‍♀️😻 People underestimate your resilience and bravery. I feel that some people see you as someone who is incapable of fighting, standing up or defending yourself. But you are the opposite! And people don’t expect that. They underestimate your ability to take on a challenge. Especially if you’ve been through a lot in your childhood, I’m feeling like family members perceived you as weak, gullible and naive. But you got up and healed and it took a lot of time, and you are still healing, but here you are setting boundaries and putting your foot down. This is something people do not expect. But then again im hearing “what did you expect? Did you expect me to really sit and take your bullshit?” On point!! You guys are quick, to the point, and do not hesitate in saying no or setting boundaries. For a long time you struggled with speaking up and it still may be a thing, which is understandable, and now you are healing enough to say no. People also may not expect you to be financially well off is something I’m getting. Your efficiency at saving money is something people don’t expect, or your savvy mindset when it comes to making 💰! People underestimate your resilience and your ability to take on a challenge. A true phenix from the ashes 💗 thank you pile 2’s for coming by! I hope this resonated. Please like comment and reblog for the support 💐☀️

Pile 3: Hi there pile 3! 💃🏻 This ones gonna be interesting 😂 in the best way possible! I feel that people underestimate your ability to leave. To say goodbye. To end situations and walk away. And move to a better place than you were before. People think you’ll stay in the mud, but you are the kind of person where if it gets uncomfortable you have no problem taking yourself out the pot. If the situation isn’t working, remove yourself from the equation is what im understanding 😂 love it! You guys don’t hesitate in moving to where you need to be and where your soul calls you, and right away you’ll know if someone is meant for you, or situation. People underestimate your ability to create abundance and move into prosperous places, but you manifest fast-and you move on to where you need to be with little to no issue. I feel like you guys know how to pack it up and make your decision, and the other person is shocked you thought about this without them. And your response is something of “I wasn’t aware I needed you in the first place to make this choice” 😂💗 I love it! You guys really know how you make an entrance and say goodbye 😻 thats the vibe im getting. People underestimate your presence in their life. The absence is felt when you’re really gone. Thank you pile 3’s! Please feel free to like comment and reblog to help this blog grow ☀️💐💃🏻

Thank ya’ll so much for reading 💐💗 it meant a lot to me! Your support is greatly appreciated. Enjoy the Aries full moon 🧘‍♀️

Paid Readings ⬇️💅🏻

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theoccultz · 1 month

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Spiritual guides thats reaching out to you ?

Or is working with you in short , you can use this reading to find your guides from other realms

General reading , take what resonates leave what doesn't

Note: there was total of 6piles, i had to remove it because they didn't wanted to give a direct message meaning you'll have to figure it out so if you feel called to those numbers or is seeing 5 or 6 and you happened to stumble upon this reading then your guides are selene, leviathan and shezmu

Ignore any mistakes

This pac of mine is different and special, i didn't released it for a long time but i feel like i should now , the messages were direct and open to possibilities, its not my usual style of reading because I channeled from your guides perspective so you'll have to decode any messages , i put whatever i understood in orange ink as this reading was made a long time ago so yes .

My readings are inclusive, your comments, likes , reblogs are appreciated!! I read em all and i love it 💚

Note:Tarot should not be replaced with medical or professional advice , i'm here to provide you clarity and guidance please use your own discrement,any decision taken from your side is your responsibility thank you .

Pile l . Pile ll. Pile lll. Pile lV.

Pile l .

Baphomet

7ofcups, 8ofcups ,4ofcups, the sun x , the heirophant x,the chariot , 9of swords

I feel like in the upcoming months your workload will increase , you'll have a positive shift in your attitude, you'll be able to form new connections , be more outgoing and resilient , This is the change you invited or wished for , right now you could be feeling like things are moving slow or there's a lot of goals to complete taking up all your time and energy or you could be put in a period of relaxation but you still feel restless then you'll be out of this very very soon. Baphomet is also a knowledgeable guide .

I see a lot of new energy and new beginnings for you , you are prepared at this time , you are shedding your old skin , i see a period of abundance where you will be satisfied with where you are in your journey, baphomet is reaching out to you as a guide he wants you to focus on your work and make choices & decisions which are right for you , i feel like with all this abundance energy there will be some energy vampires , karmic soulmates or people with envious eyes who will also come into your life i feel like without baphomet you'll not be able to see the illusion that surrounds you , you'll feel as though finally things are on track or you're with right people making right choices but it'll be not the case , i highly feel that your blessings that are meant to stay for months or so will be envied , people will give you cold shoulder, you were letting go of your past and putting an end to things and it can turn upside down because there's a group which will be working in harmony to bring you down or cause little delays & troubles and this will be your own people doing it subconsciously( co-workers , family , friends) and your guide will be there to protect the work you'll be doing , he'll be working with you so you can succeed.

I feel like after a period of stillness, constant sadness , low energy , ill minded people, struggling days , humiliation, loss of power , disconnection, emptiness, overflowing emotions ,nightmares and past traumas which are haunting you for years you'll be able to let it go so this will be a big transformation you might have chiron-venus aspects or heavy chiron and mars energy , you'll need to direct your focus onto a steady path there will be new people entering your life , you need to have a better discernment as to who or what can drain your energy remember this includes romantic partners too not everyone is meant to stay in your life for good reasons , if you feel like you have people who dont appreciate you or behave rudely with you ,they will get their Karma because i feel like there's a lot built up of emotional baggage which is not yours and it will be sent back to who it belongs , i feel like channeling will help you a lot ...you can get a paper and write every single thing you encounter that wasn't pleasant and how it effected you growing up even the people who left you hurt , start with leaving the past in the past remember grieving is a natural process . Baphomet wants to help in balance your emotional state and be nurturing.

In short baphomet wants to help you reprganise your life , appreciate your studies/hobbies/work , redirect your purpose , bring a tower moment (shake things which are not build on solid ground) , cut of the distractions, reconnect with your inner self, manifest and establish new connections .

Things i heard: cleasing oil , marine , attire white silk , fan club , papers , z ? , railways (travelling) , accident, January -march-april , horror franchise, filmography, addictions , baneful magick , throat crown chakra , mandli? Lee? She's not your friend , good for nothing, energy vampires, its not your energy send it back (return to sender you can do ), ex , delivery ,black Violeta, Portuguese,spanish , libra 5-6th house , mars , scorpio energy , check sextiles, visit a planetarium, IGi o or ig ? Lamps , water ,panther, fosh , narration, a ? Soup , driver , dream , sani ? , cat , m ? , virgo placements, rally , lgbt friends or someone who's of same gender likes you romantically .

Pile ll.

Beleth hazel

The heirophant x , the sun x , five of wands , 6of wands, 8ofwands.

For manifestation i feel like he is very good in whatever abilities he posses he has taught multiple generations , he's very good with regulation of emotions , he really wants you to have a favourable outcome in whatever you're interested in or whoever you are interested in , i feel like he's specifically reaching out to you to make you aware of something or to teach you something like he wants to revive your reputation i feel like in the past and even today he was the magician , people would come to him with health issues , family issues and he would make a healing potion for them . yeah he's very sweet yet a little stern .

If you have talents or goals set for long term he wants to help you reach them ,you wont be confused or overwhelmed his guidance is smooth and doesn't take much effort for an individual to be adaptive. There's this energy of putting yourself on the top and creating a life for yourself here , i think he acknowledges you put in great effort for work , studies and helping others and now he wants to help you progress efficiently with your abilities. There's something about establishment of ideal sense be it regarding your personality or your fashion . Fashion is also many people are interested in or follows its also a form of creativity.you might be a fire or an earth sign with significant jupiter influence. Health issues seem very significant ,it could be acute stress you are experiencing.

In short he wants you to have confidence in the person you are , he wants you to put in great efforts in putting yourself out there , he wants you to shine amd let go of things , he wants to establish a reputation for you , he wants you to work with him because you share similiar traits and anilities , he reminds me of a photographer he bring the best in people and he knows what he's doing.

Higher level studies , stress , pluto9h , serial , repetition numbers: 333,1515 ,999,phonines, cut off , intense, pressure , bar , the weeknds, playing with fire , distressful people, closed off , forced. ,value traditions , atheists , red ,5 ,1 , science , demanding boss, Saturday Tuesday? 18 , 21.

Pile lll.

Barren samedi

The emperess x,justice , knight of swords , king of wands x , ten of cups eight of wands .

Barren samedia is already actively involved in your life and he has a message (channelled)

Okay you guys might be going through a crucial stage in your life or will be going through it soon i feel like its not a hard one but it'll make sure to remind you of your core strength. After this transformation you'll have a transformation , you'll push yourself you might be going out more , doing what interests you , meeting other people and even creating something in the public eye , in short youll be greatly recognised and appreciated by those around you .

There's something with communication and connections , i'm seeing old energy will be left behind it wont be retrived you'll have to leave a space which doesn't concern you anymore or people, i'm seeing someone turn 18 and moving out of the house by their own ..an independent step is always yours and you'll have to execute it NO ONE will do it for you so if you wanna have new beginnings you must take the first step . There's something about time management and saving your time? barren samedia is making more space for things to get aligned . You'll have to be honest with yourself if you feel like something's blocking you find out that blockage and work on it you are not a little kid anymore who's threatened by these issues . Learn to take your own responsibility but also be open to others and their energy not everyone is out to get you . The reason empress energy is reversed is you still have not utilised your best potential expect things to stabilise by the next full moon which is on 25th march for those who are reading in this month , it'll be an eventful one . And pls stop reacting to stupid criticism and dont be defensive you lose many opportunities.

In short , he's direct and wants you to step up and ask fir the things which are your right , dont stay stuck in not wanting bigger things , let go of old beliefs , start chanelling , ask what you want from your universe , foght your insecurities , he wants to prepare you for bigger and better things so you dont fall into the same ground which people want you to stay in , he wants you to be angry and wake up , he wants you to redirect your anger onto right things , get what you ask is his message.

Uranus 6h , saggitarius, martha , kenzas city , maribe , headache , lost of loved one's, cera ve? , k , hijacked movie , maroon5.

Pile lV.

Pazuzu fazuzu

The empress x, strength x , page of swords

I feel like there's a person in your life who's immature and rude they dont respect your boundaries and are constantly disrupting your life, you must be experiencing a period of stillness and loneliness because of them this could be a friend , family ,a partner or a lover who's not ready to sacrifice they are taking you for granted and isn't being appreciative of you .

They are hindering your growth and is constantly draining you , you could be feelin' sleepy , unmotivated and must be experiencing moodiness irritatible behaviours. Fazuzu wants to teach them a lesson they hate these kind of people who just take from others and doesn't value others as they should be valued . They lack a better judgement and is bitter , this could be very subliminally done as well like they could be hot and cold with you their actions are inconsistent and they're wanting to take your time more than you're ready to give them . Pazuzu is a fierce protector and can bring great happiness to one's life , he can encourage you he's Courages and help you regain control . You are advised to leave people and situation that doesn't serve you anymore as you'll keep repeating cycles which are only gonna put you in constant worry .

Idk that character from the police story juntao is very significant here you could be going through similiar situation or there could be a message in the film as well , i feel so . You could be seeing cats a lot and this is a sign.

In short , he wants to put things in order , whats not meant to be yours will be taken , you'll be provided with a period of healing , others will get their karma , you'll be working on your crown chakra .

Restaurant ,road trip , metal music , comeback , sick , latino , birthday , cool, your name , pisces moon , aries sun , sag placements , private show , job application, nausea , river side , blue red bag , pocket money ,purple , fix damage , fuzzy day ,

Thank you for reading!! Have a great day ahead .

#Spotify #pick a card #tarotblr #pick a pile #tarot reading #spirituality #intuiative reading #vd

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tildexart · 14 days

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Hello again! Please elaborate on why you don’t like Bram Stokers Dracula (1992) I love hearing people go off and I think I’ll agree with your conclusion since I don’t like it either haha

HI thanks for sending this as an ask!! Here's a very long, convoluted response. Warning: it is not proofread.

So, the main reason I don't like Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992) is because of accuracy. Now, I am completely fine when a book-to-film adaptation isn't a perfect recreation of the book (frankly thats impossible imo) but MAN does this adaptation do the original book injustice. The romance between Dracula and Mina?? The plot line about Dracula's dead wife? Renfield originally working with Harker?? MINA ATTEMPTING TO SEDUCE VAN HELSING???? Really, most of the injustice is done to Mina as a character. Book!Mina is such a strong, well written character. She is integral to the plot and to the book's structure (we would not have had all of the letters, newspaper clippings, and diary entries without her). The book itself states this with how often the Dude Squad (I think I got that title from an Overly Sarcastic Productions video, im going to keep using it) directly tell Mina that they could not have defeated Dracula without her. She is resilient, smart, and stands up for herself. 1992!Mina is not this. James V. Hart, who wrote the screenplay, took everything that made Mina Mina and created a stereotypical damsel character. It's a shame because I strongly believe that Winona Ryder could play a killer, book-accurate Mina Harker.

Speaking of who plays the characters... the cast is really hit or miss for me personally. I do think Winona Ryder and Anthony Hopkins are good picks (especially based off of the book portrayals) and I remember liking Cary Elwes as Arthur Holmwood. Tom Waits as Renfield is a pretty inspired choice ngl.

But. Keanu. Don't get me wrong, I love Keanu Reeves. I think he is great in Bill and Ted's and John Wick. But that's why it confuses me as to why he was cast in this film. He can't do the accent, he shows no emotion, and it sounds like he is remembering his lines as he says them. In fact, my family and I quote his lines in this film as a joke all the time ("Is the castle far?"). None of his former roles at the time implied that he would be a good Jonathan either.

I can't remember much of Gary Oldman's performance, I just know I didn't like it lmao. He made Dracula too suave when he's really just a Creature.

Note: in looking up the cast I was reminded that Richard E. Grant plays Seward and as a fan of Saltburn (2023) that is just. hilarious to me.

I only went into this movie because I was told I would like it because the production design was pretty. Honestly? It's not. The film is poorly lit and the costumes are questionably accurate. The few shots I can remember are for the wrong reasons- such as that One Scene with Lucy in the cemetery. I won't get into it much more, it makes me extremely uncomfortable, but its another instance of Bram Stoker's Dracula taking away everything that made the female characters interesting.

Honestly? The best thing I can say about this movie is that it included Quincey. He's my favorite and he usually doesn't make it to screen adaptations. I'm happy you're here buddy.

I think what infuriates me is the title. Bram Stoker's Dracula implies that this adaptation takes a lot from the book. It's not just Dracula, it's Bram Stoker's Dracula. It's like saying that this adaptation is the most faithful. But... it's not. Bram Stoker's Dracula takes more of it's inspiration from old Universal films and previous Dracula adaptations than it does from the actual book. Thats okay! I'm all for new interpretations of old stories. But if you're a new interpretation that changes half of the characters and plot, don't market said interpretation with the original authors name.

This is not Bram Stoker's Dracula, it's Francis Ford Coppola's Dracula.

Which, even then, this is weak for Coppola. I'm not a huge fan of his work (I've seen The Godfather and Apocalypse Now) but I can understand and appreciate why he is as influential as he is. I think his films are well written and beautifully shot. He has great casts who elevate the writing and make their characters memorable. This film goes against all of that and that bothers me so much. It feels like a cheap imitation of Coppola's work.

Anyway- that sums up my thoughts on Bram Stoker's Dracula. I reallt enjoyed writing this, as someone who wants to be a film historian but doesn't actually get to do film-deep dives this was pretty refreshing haha. Good reminder that this is a film blog, not a podcast one.

Feel free to ask me more about movies, especially if you like Dracula! I am of the opinion that there is no good adaptation of Dracula... but I have ideas on how to fix that so...

#i believe this film is my lowest rated film on letterboxd #tilda rambles #bram stocker's dracula #francis ford coppola #film ramble #dracula

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art-the-f-up · 4 months

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Hi, its the anon who talk about writing your Palestinian Hero AU. First, i wanna say thank you for your answer. I was really unsure about writing it bcs its a very serious topic. But like you said, we have our way to show solidarity, and i wanna show it through this fic based on your AU.

So id like to ask a few questions about the AU first for me to implement into the fic (since this is your AU after all, and id like to get it as close as possible to what you envision):

1. Does Laaiqa and Ahsan know each other as civilian, and do they know their identity.

2. What do they do as civilian. You dont have to answer this one if you feel like its sensitive or painful to answer

3. Do you mind if i add extra heroes? Don't worry, i won't use all the miracle box 😂 maybe just one or two. Im also gonna change how miraculous holder got chosen work so it will make sense why only so few miraculous were active during the G word.

Thank you for your time and words. I'll see to it that this fic get finished and may it brings Miraculers to also help stop this G word.

Hello! Best of luck to you, it's no pressure okay? I don't want you writing a fic thats got you all stressed instead of motivated or excited haha. The point of fanwork is representation and entertainment.

Laaiqa and Ahsan do know each other's identities, but they did not know each other as civilians before meeting as superheroes. They are mostly vigilant, so they don't come out in public as much. Which is why the public has, on their own, created the names Ladybird and Black Cat (in Arabic) for them. They call each other by their first names.

Laaiqa still lives with her mother in a small apartment in Jenin, and rarely gets to hear about how her father is doing in prison. Ahsan lives with one of his family friends in Gaza, working part time with his friend's dad in his shop after he lost his family and home. (I took this one simply out of one of our own tribal cultures. I realized many Palestinian values match that of our tribe and in our case when a single family member is left one of the families of the tribe take them in as their own. Most cases the child then tries to help in some chores/job even though he is not forced to but it is just a form of gratitude on his part. Pity on any individual is forbidden and is considered dishonorable but that's just me and I'd love to find out from a Palestinian if this is okay.)

Of course you can use whatever heroes you'd like haha. I didn't set this AU up in a specific timeline, I just took it out of what Palestinian life has been like these part 75 years. But yeah the basic message is just their resilience and strength no matter the situation.

#palestinian heroes AU #palestinian heroes #ml au #laaiqa OC #ahsan OC #headcanons #asksss

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ravenpureforever · 2 years

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So I know we all joke about Porchay living his best Wattpad life, myself included, but I think we all kind of ignore how Kim just never dissuaded him from that notion and how we find that genre dissonance between Porsche & Kim’s view (and often our audience view) of Chay and how he actually acts, and we’re all sleeping on the mini character arc he’s gotten over the course of the series.

Porsche and Kim don’t want Chay to get caught up in the mafia world, and they both seem to view him in the same lense: he’s innoncent, sweet, incorruptible.

But Chay has fucking balls man, and he’s a lot more resilient than people give him credit for. He also ignores red flags like he’s color blind. We don’t get to see much of him, but the glimpses we do get show there is so much more beneath the surface.

First:

Man grew up with Porsche & a dead beat Uncle, you telling me he didn’t see some shit growing up? No matter how well Porsche protected him, Chay is the one dressing his wounds when he comes back from fighting, Chay still hears the loan sharks coming for his Uncle, he’s growing up watching his older brother as really the only source of income for his household. And he can’t do anything about it. Watching episode 1, when Chay asks Porsche to let him get a job and help out, it feels like they’ve had this conversation before, it feels resigned, it feels like a final quiet plea of “we’ve talked about this before, but please, please, please just consider it.” But Porsche says no, I’m going to take care of it and I can’t help but think of the impact that has, of watching the person he loves most get beat down again and again and not being able to do anything about it. I feel like Chay probably grew up being the peacekeeper, the one trying to keep the waters calm. Its clear he knows he’s his brother��s world, that his brother has done so much to keep him sheltered and happy, and I can think of Porsche teaching Chay manners, teaching him ideals of being kind to others and Chay just internalizing it and deciding “ah yes, so this is my role in the family, this is how I can help my brother.” Chay probably felt a lot of pressure, no matter how unintentionally and how unconditionally Porsche loves him, to be a reason why his brother is doing all of this, he’s probably hyper aware of how he’s Porsche’s motivation, that everything his brother does is for him. That does things to your self-worth, to how you view yourself. I get the feeling hasn’t had any agency over his own life before, he’s always been the princess locked in the tower, aware of the war but not allowed to participate. His happily ever has been chosen and now he just has to see it through.

Then literally overnight, he wakes up and his Uncle has vanished, and his brother has left with just a fairly suspicious note about pursuing his dream that’ll completely be able to fully support Chay. His entire way of living has transformed, and now he’s completely alone. He went from princess locked in a tower as a war rages on to a Queen of a decimated kingdom. He can not grieve, he can only have faith and move forward.

This is also how I realized Chay has practically been designed to ignore all red flags and interpret them as something else.

Enter Kim, stage right. Enter Chay’s wattpad fantasy come to life, also stage right.

When Chay meets Kim, he is someone who has literally nothing to lose throwing himself out there. My boy literally just recites an encyclopedia knowledge of “Wik, sir, you are my hyper fixation” all in the hopes of getting that T-shirt. And it works! His idol signs his T-shirt, he gets to talk to his idol, he has been rewarded for putting himself out there!

So go big or go home right? He might as well try asking for a tutor when asked if there’s anything he wants. And he’s shot down. No big deal, he moves on and has merch thats going to be the envy of the Wik fandom.

But then his idol calls him, and says he’ll tutor him. Wik remembered him, remembered his request, and then proceeded to hunt down a way to get Chay’s phone number and call him personally in order to tell him he’s decided to he’s going to help him get into the his dream department that he himself is apart of.

Its easy to view Chay from Kim’s perspective, as an excitable fanboy with a crush, but we forget how Kim looks from Chay’s perspective. So lets look on how everything seems from Chay’s perspective.

Chay put himself out there, made a decision solely for himself and what he wants and now his idol wants to tutor him. He’s been actively rewarded twice now, by the same person, for asserting what he wants and trying to get it. He’s gotten his cake and is eating it too. He has a celebrity crush like most people get, only his celebrity crush is now making the effort to genuinely get to know him.

Wik tells Chay his name is Kim, he’s being open and vulnerable to Chay, and he’s trusting him with his identity. Kim asks about his brother, even though Chay didn’t tell him, red flag to any normal person citing he saw Chay’s screensaver and made an assumption. Kim is taking an interest in his life, he notices little details about him, and is asking to here more about the coolest person in the world, his brother and even noticed how much Chay loves Porsche that he wants Chay to write a song about it! He even trusts Chay enough to ask for his phone when Kim’s phone has died, even though that’ll mean there’s important numbers in Chay’s call history, and he trusts that Chay won’t take advantage of them!

And maybe Chay starts to fall a bit in love with Kim. Not Wik, but Kim, who’s a little bit insecure, a little bit awkward, but is making all this effort for Chay.

For Chay, it isn’t anything manipulative or suspicious, he’s becoming friends Kim, they’re sharing information about themselves, they’re bonding now, and he’s been shown that if he pushes, Kim will stay. Chay is all alone now, he has to take care of himself, but if he makes an effort and keeps putting himself out there, if he makes his wants known, Kim comes to him. Kim trusts him, and as long as Chay takes the initiative, he also makes the effort to bond with Chay.

Then Porsche comes back! Chay isn’t alone anymore, and they’re happy and safe and Porsche isn’t getting beat up! And then Porsche once again immediately leaves without a word and few days later you get the first call you’ve gotten from him since he left the first time and now he’s back at work and doesn’t know when he’ll be back again. He’s all alone, and his brother has seem to get a new life that once again Chay’s not allowed to be apart of.

But then Kim shows up at his house! And Chay immediately throws his brother under the bus in a desperate bid to keep Kim’s good opinion of him, once again, gotta admire the sheer balls and audacity of that move. Then Kim gifts him one of his guitars! Porsche do you understand how easily your brother could be taken advantage of do you? Sure he almost gets the heart attack of Kim discovering his shrine, but what teenager doesn’t have posters on the wall of his favorite singer? Maybe it’s weird that he wants Chay to go get the food for them both, but he could have an important phone call to make, he could be nervous going out in public where people could recognize him! Then when he gets back Kim asks him about his love life! Kim ruffles his hair! Kim tells him to write a love song!

Kim is checking off all the boxes of my crush likes me back.

So when Kim ghosts him a little, Chay makes the obvious conclusion. Show up at his house and sing him the love song he wrote! He’s been shown time, and time again that if he reaches out to Kim, Kim will eventually grab his hand. Kim has shown to be awkward and a little of unsure of himself around Chay, but relaxes when Chay takes the initiative. So Chay does what’s always worked. With literally no fear or anxiety whatsoever.

And with episode 13, we see how close they were getting. We see how they went out to places together, romantically or platonically, and they took pictures together! They were friends, they were close, they had a level of trust and bonding and vulnerability for Chay to take photos with Kim and leave them around his house for Kim to find!

So Chay once again has nothing left to lose, and shoots his final shot and confesses to Kim. And Kim kisses him! They hug! Kim may or may not have come home with him that night but at some point in they’re relationship post confession, they fall asleep cuddling on the couch.

And Chay and Porsche are very similar. They fall in love quickly, they become very devoted and loyal to that love, and they are honest about it. Chay and Porsche are both the first ones to say I love you, but while Porsche doesn’t ask for a reply, Chay does. Because Kim has shown time and time again that Chay needs to take the initiative. So he asks Kim: I love you, do you love me?

But he stops at that and lets Kim take his time. Because that’s the song and dance their courtship has been taking, Chay flirts, Chay pushes forward and then Kim comes to meet him the rest of the way.

Chay is living in a Wattpad fantasy: he meets his idol crush, his idol crush becomes fascinated with him, he sees the real human behind his idol crush’s persona and falls in love with the awkward, sweet person underneath, he confesses his love and the feeling is mutual! And all of this seems to be fate, like this perfect love story and the happy ending he actually wants. He’s practically gotten into his dream department with the boy of his dreams who loves him back.

He’s confirming it is all real, and letting Kim know that it’s all real on his end.

And then he gets fucking kidnapped. And then he gets indisputable proof that his brother has been lying to him this entire time, and he was kidnapped because of that secret life his brother was lying about it.

The ultimatum may seem harsh, but it makes sense when you see it from Chay’s perspective. He probably feels essentially abandoned by his brother for the past two months, and he’s understandably pissed about everything thats happened in the last 48 hours or so. His brother can be part of his life and they can go back to the way things were, but Chay can’t be a part of his life if his brother is in the mafia, and its true. Porsche has spent all this time telling Chay he wants him to get into a good school and get a good job and be surrounded by good people with a good social life. You can’t have that in the mafia, and Chay knows that. So from Chay’s perspective, his brother has basically just been a complete hypocrite to everything his brother taught him.

And while Porsche has been shown the type of person to be willing to throw away his morals and beliefs when it comes to the people he loves, Chay isn’t. His entire life has been surrounded on those ideals of being a good, kind person who lives a good life. And he’s understandably terrified of the thought of losing his brother and truly being on his own. He’s basically lost his only emotional support system for two months, and if his brother dies, he loses him for good.

So Chay says him or me, because in his mind either way he could lose his brother, but this is Chay making his own decision, this is Chay fighting back and reminding Porsche that see you hurt makes me hurt too. This ultimatum reminds Porsche that his actions have conquenses on Chay too, and it shows how Chay has grown up in his absence. Chay in episode one was willing to just bow his head and listen to what his brother, but Chay in episode 10 is willing to speak out, he’s no longer willing to be simply passive in his brother’s plans for him.

In the end, he and Porsche communicate, and we get a taste of how Chay is, like Porsche, willing to throw away his ideals because he loves someone. But now he’s been dragged into a completely unfamiliar world, he’s truly been into a different kingdom where he doesn’t have any of the power or agency he’s gotten used to having in Porsche’s absence.

And then its revealed the love of his life is part of the mafia, and he’s just gotta sit there and pretend like nothings wrong.

Side note: while it’s absolutely hilarious that absolutely nobody learned about the KimChay romance, it also makes a lot of sense. Rule number one of Wattpad romance: You NEVER tell your overprotective brother your in love or dating or got dumped. You NEVER let your big brother know about your love life. Rule number two of Wattpad romance: When dating a celebrity, you NEVER leave a hint that any fans could pick up on. You ALWAYS need to keep the relationship a secret for as long as humanly possible. Chay thinks he knows what genre he’s in, and he’s being smart about it.

So Chay goes to confront him. Like doesn’t even hesitate, just shows up like bitch you better explain yourself. Because that’s what he does, only this time he does it out of anger, not out of love.

And Kim tells him that his entire reality was a lie. When Chay breaks down crying, it’s not just because Kim dumped him, though that had to hurt, its because that means their entire friendship, all the kindness and effort Kim showed him, all the time they spent together, all the moments Chay thought were sweet, thought they were bonding and falling mutually in love was a complete and utter lie. He’s just been made a fool, and his entire life has been completely transformed and he has no control over any of it.

So he spirals and self destructs. Him ditching the interview may seem dumb and like he’s throwing everything Porsche worked for away, but think about it. Everything about this interview is going to reminder of Kim and how he betrayed Chay’s love and trust. This interview is a reminder of how his brother threw away his own life for Chay to have a future their parents would be proud of, despite his protests. This interview is an embodiment of Chay’s own lack of control in his own life, it has become a symbol of his pain.

Everything in Chay’s life has fallen apart and now he has to pick up the pieces and find his place in the new world he’s in.

So he tries to take back that lost control and ditches the interview. He does the stereotypical new haircut new me era. He goes out drinking with friends. Chay can’t talk to Porsche about any of this, he can’t be honest with friends about any of this. He doesn’t have any real support system in his life right now, and he’s falling apart. For the past two months he’s been in charge of his life for the first time, only for it to be yanked away and everything he knows to disappear. He wants to get that control back, but he has no clue how, and he has no one to help him. So he makes some dumbass decisions, but its not just because of Kim, it’s because desperately grappling for a sense of agency in a world that keeps stripping him of it.

And then Kim comes back into his life, and in Chay’s perspective, tries to take away his agency again and toy with his emotions. “You said you don’t care about me, but here you are caring about me,” and it makes him angry. So in episode 13, he tries to cut Kim off, he ignores his calls and blocks his number to assert his control of their relationship.

And then his agency and control is once again taken when Porsche wakes him up and (presumably) drops him off at Yok’s and (probably) doesn’t tell about anything that happens.

His Wattpad dream life romance has fallen apart, he’s had to leave his old life completely behind, and now he’s left in the ashes trying to figure put who he is and where he stands in this situation, trying to be his own person without anyone there to help him.

Conclusion: I think Chay is someone who strives to be kind and polite, and like Porsche wants to see the best in people, but he’s also incredibly brave and put into the position where he’s really making his own decisions for the first time in his life. He’s frustrated, he’s unsure, he’s making mistakes and fumbling around, but he’s a young adult finally trying to take control of his life after everything has been ripped out underneath him, and I think that side of him could be explored to.

I think Chay is the type of person who’s sweet and respectful, but when push comes to shove, he’s shown to be a no nonsense kind of person who isn’t afraid to backdown. He’ll listen, he’ll comprise, but Chay has a lot more of a spine and a no fear attitude than people give him credit for, but right now he’s desperately trying to assert his agency in a narrative that keeps taking it from him, and its causing him to self destruct.

I’m genuinely excited to see where his arc from passive princess in tower to living a self-insert life to currently self destructive extensional crisis ends up. We’ve only gotten a few scenes with him, but they’ve shown so much of a character arc that I feel people are sleeping on.

#kinnporsche the series #kinnporsche #kimchay #vegaspete #sorry I just want people to stop sleeping on Chay #kinnporsche meta #kinnporsche episode 13 #kinnporsche episode 12 #they we’re supposed to be the sweet ones admist the mafia drama #they’re all unhinged disasters #i’m obsessed #porsche my beloved #kinnporsche analysis #kimchay analysis #I’ve got a lot of feelings and thoughts about Chay okay #he’s got so much going on and such an interesting characterization #or maybe im just overthinking #but still

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footygirl114 · 2 years

Text

Casa (Aitana Bonmati x Reader)

This one is based on “I’ll be right here by your side” from @cneasai who's been wanting an Aitana fic for awhile

The only good thing about not making it out of the champions league group stage is that you were able to travel and watch the rest of your girlfriends games, when they didn’t conflict with your league games.

You had met Aitana years ago when you both played for the Barcelona B team. She had got signed on to the main squad, and you had ended up signing with Hoffenheim. It was tough being in a different country than your girlfriend, but you were from Spain and your family was there. You spent holidays and breaks back in Barcelona, you saw her a lot during those times.

You even helped her pick out her apartment in Barcelona, and pay a small bit of the rent so that you can live there when you come home. For all intents and purposes Barcelona was your home, more so she was your home. You always knew in your heart you would end up back with your love.

Watching the team cruise to the final was amazing, the hiccup in Wolfsburg being the only downside. The team was resilient and you knew they would be amazing.

Thats why watching them lose that final broke your heart. You knew a lot of players from your Barcelona days, but also from spending time with them when you were back for breaks. You couldn’t bear to watch any of them being so upset, but the fact that you were stuck in the stands while your love and her family were crushed on the field sparked something in you. You made the decision right then and there, that you would not be watching them from the stands anymore.

The following summer was one of the hardest ones of your life, keeping the fact that you were pushing to come back to Barca a secret was so difficult. It worked out in your favour, as much as it hurt the team that Leila was leaving, you were a left back, and she made your chance to come back a lot easier.

After a lot of begging and pleading, your agent finally convinced the Barca management to bring you back. There were a few conditions and you may not be making the same money but you knew at the end of the day being back home with your love was worth it.

Wanting the news to be a surprise, you reached out to Alexia to help you. You knew the captain could be trusted, but also you knew she would do anything to help the team overcome the defeat in the final. She never outright said it but she knows the team needs some better wingers to help with crossing, and you had wicked speed and a lethal left foot for crosses.

The whole off season, you could tell the defeat weighed heavy on a lot of their minds. The team spent a lot of time together, you could tell they needed each other and that they would be the best people to get each other back on track. It was nice that they included you in a lot of it, they didn’t know you signed with them but you knew it was the right fit.

The first day of training was always fitness training, Alexia organised it so that you would be able to do your testing with her prior to the team coming in so that your surprise wasn’t ruined. While the team was getting testing done you were working hard on your surprise on the field for when they were done training.

When the team came out of testing they were all so shocked to see the surprise. You had got the local animal shelter to come out and bring all the puppies they had to the field, you knew all the girls had a soft spot for them.

The squeals and laughter were enough to warm your heart. You knew that having this memory be one they could hold on to for the season and it was amazing to see. You were standing off on the side (dressed in Barca training gear they hadn’t noticed that with the puppies) when Aitana walked over to you.

“Hermosa, this is amazing, I cant believe you would do something like this for us” she said to you with a small smile, she was standing beside you and you couldn’t help but to reach out and wrap your arm around her waist and smile down at her.

“I would do anything to see you smile love” you tell her and press a kiss to her temple.

She turns to you and says “Anything?” with a smirk

You laugh and shake your head and reply “get your head out of the gutter”

She laughs at you and then looks at you with a confused expression “Why are you in Barca gear babe?”

You smile at her and say “Well I have to match my team right?”

She shakes her head and replies “I think you may have hit your head this morning”

“No, babe, I did this because I want MY team to have a happy memory to hold on to for the start of the season. Not the sour note the last season ended with. Think of is as my first offical act of being a good teammate” you tell her with a small smile, your still nervous cause you aren’t sure she will want you on her team after all.

She freezes and looks at you and asks “are you serious?”

“I am, but now I’m thinking I shouldn’t have kept it as a surprise. Im sorry babe, I can see if I can go get them to reverse-“ you don’t get to finish as she has surged forward and pressed her lips to yours in a deep kiss.

She breaks the kiss when she hears her teammate hooting and hollering behind you. She looks up at you and says “I cant believe this, I am so happy you won’t have to leave me again”

“I love you Aitana and I will always be right here, by your side ” you tell her.

“I love you too hermosa” she replies to you as she pulls you into her arms.

You feel the rest of the team come up and wrap you both in a group hug and everyone shouting that they love us too. You are so happy this is your new team.

#woso imagine #woso x reader #woso #aitana bonmati #aitana bonmati imagine #aitana bonmati x reader

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pettyprocrastination · 2 years

Note

Hey, big fan of your lady Baratheon posts :)

Someone wrote that one of the great tragedies and ironies of the Baratheon brothers is they each possess one quality of a great king.

Robert had strength, Stannis had leadership and Renly had the charisma.

If they could’ve ever put their issues aside, those three could’ve been a dominant trio that might have ensured a golden era of Baratheon rule for far longer than it did.

I think your OC actually comes close to having the best qualities of each.

It would be interesting that, in the end, it’s her who’ll have be the future of her house after it’s decline and near ruin during the war and long night, after everyone dismissed her for being a woman and married to a Dornishman.

Looking forward to more of your work, and regarding your aspersions as a writer, I’m positive you have a future. You have such a creative mind. It’s just a matter of keeping focus and consistent.

All the best :)

Hi! Thank you so much for your kind words and thats def an amazing way to look at her! I imagine her (you) to be the type who overall wants nothing to do with the iron throne and encapsulates that quote about how those most suited for power are those who do not hunger for it. (i know its a quote from something but i can't put a finger on what lmao)

youre the mediator of your family, trying to keep what is left of it together until Renly's death, to which you join stannis' side.

Thats what really makes the common folk turn toward you. You're a noble woman, a princess, whose fighting in the heat of battle side by side with them and able to hold your own. Much like Stannis, you beleive in honor and keeping to your word, and do not view yourself as better than others simply because you're of noble blood. And since you don't share Stannis' views on the lord of light and publicly disagree with burning innocent lives as sacrifices to him, they see you as a more sane and down-to-earth baratheon and begin to whisper that perhaps you ought to be on the throne.

In Dorne, its quite the same. While you vanished with a single letter, telling your husband that you've gone to travel essos and find yourself, everybody knows the truth. That the doe had gone to fight in her brother's foolish war. Some beleive you've gone off to your death and will crumple at the first sight of blood, but when the whispers travel that you're leading the ranks and fighting alongside your men they begin to think different of you.

Their princess, the dornish people think, going from attending court by her husband's side to slaughter lannister soldiers like a proper warrior queen.

When the word spread that the king lion ran from the battle of blackwater with his tail tucked between his legs, they all but sing your praise. Even more when you return home, wearing scars that prove your strength and resilience in battle.

Dorne still does not care for house baratheon, but if one were to take the throne, they should like it to be the one wearing the Martell sigil.

#ask #asks #people say nice things #baratheon wife tag #oberyn martell x reader #looooove talking about this thank you for this lovely ask!!!#ive been meaning to get to it #yeah after the battle of blackwater you return to dorne ebcause stannis' alleigance to the lord of light turns your stomach at the sight of #sacrifices. so you take shireen and go back to sunspear

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luna-is-lost · 7 months

Text

UnderWelcomed

Part FIVE

Heavy Angst…

Papyrus POV:

“Hhhnnnn….”, my head feels like it got hit by a truck than slammed into a wall… What happened?…. Opening my eyes I vaguely recall a human before passing out. Looking around, I notice the walls are dirty, but white. The single, uncovered light is dim and flickering. This causes yellowish shadows to form in the peeling paint. The whole room is awfully small and smell as bad as Sans’ room. “HELLO? IS ANYONE THERE? SPECIALLY SOMEONE THAT WILL LET ME OUT OF THIS MILDEW STAINED ISOLATION CHAMBER?” After a few minutes of silence the door opens. “OH, HELLO THERE, I’M THE GREAT PAPY-“ “Silence!” The man who opened the door snapped at me… “ THATS NO WAY TO APPROACH A NEW FRIEND! HAVE YOU NEVER HAD A FRIEND BEFORE?” Even though I only spoke the truth to him, he scowls and begins to yell at me. “Have you no respect?!”, he practically spits in my face,” Do you lack common sense?! Have you not realized the detrimental situation you are in? If all monsters are as foolish as you, why even have a war?!” Ow… I’m The Great Papyrus, no some dumb guy… I’m not foolish either. Maybe he didn’t get enough sleep…. Sans gets a bit crabby if a wake him up at four am making spaghetti for our new friends… Of course this was before the war. “M-MISTER HUMAN, I ASSURE YOU THAT WE MONSTERS ARE INELEGANT AND OBSERVANT.” “Lower your VOICE!“ He seems even more irritated. However, now is no time you be upset. He takes a deep breath, a wonder truly with how grimy and gross this place is. “I am going to ask you some questions. Answer them truthfully and you won’t have to face any consequences… for the most part.” “ALRIGHT! GO AHEAD HUMAN!” He glares at me before opening his mouth to speak and pulling out a clipboard. “ What exactly are you?” “EASIY, I’M A SKELETON!” “I know that!” He speaks through clenched teeth. “How Do You Work?!” What a strange way of asking about magic… “ WELL MAGIC IF COURSE! IT, AND HOPE MAKE UP A MONSTER SOUL! SKELETONS ARE MADE FROM THE SAME TYPE OF BONES HUMANS ARE, BUT MORE FLEXIBLE AND RESILIENT. OH, OUR BONES ARE HELD TOGETHER BY THE MAGIC THAT MAKE OUR SOUL!” I learned all of that from a random paper I found in Sans’ room. Or actually, it got stuck to my boot. Nevertheless, who knew such vital information about how Sans and I exist would be useful. “And WHAT exactly is a soul?” The human asks quite impatiently. “THE VERY CULMINATION OF YOUR BEING! WOWIE! I SAID IT RIGHT ON MY FIRST TRY! SANS WOULD SO PROUD OF ME!” Sans… If I had listen to him, I wouldn’t be here… “WHEN DO I GO HOME, HUMAN?“ “That is for the higher ups. Now quit talking.“ I miss Sans... “ Now where did you come from?“ “SNOWDIN TOWN! WELL, SANS AND I ORIGINALLY LIVED IN NEW HOME...“ “What about you other family members, assuming Sans is related to you.“ “ OH, YES! SANS IS MY OLDER BROTHER, HE’S TAKEN CARE OF ME FOR AS LONG AS I REMEMBER, SINCE OUR PARENTS DIED WHEN I WAS A BABYBONES.“ The human seem to really care about the details, but why... He seams so curious about me. Mad too, but I'll look past that. “Have you interacted with humans before reaching ’The Surface’? I immediently think of Frisk, we were meant to be friends, but The King... He wanted our freedom and DETERMINATION was the last SOUL needed to escape... It just hurts... I can't be upset with him either. Sans seemed almost relieved that the human was gone... Why did I have to befriend an ’enemy’... I feel a tear slip down my face. “I-... I WOULD RATHER NOT TALK ABOUT IT...“ The man’s hand comes towards my face, and hits me, hard. “OW!“ “You will speak!“ “ P-PLEASE,“ tears flow freely now, “I REALLY DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT...!“ The man stomps out of the room and two soldiers come in . Ingecting me with something that make the world go black.....

Part six tomorrow ...

#papyrus #undertale #underverse #angst #underwelcomed

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abeinginsand · 1 year

Note

Lark for the character asks if he hasn’t already been done : D

Hi serikyl and thanks for the ask!! :) I did do a little Lark bingo bundled in the Sparrow and Normal post but I have some more hcs so I'll share those (Thank you for the excuse to ramble more!) Lark Bingo Part 2:

Lark is a very strong and resilient person and that can be wonderful! But, those traits can be dangerous too. Because a very strong person may be prone to putting themselves in danger with reckless abandon. They can take the pain. Done it before and will do it again etc. Except, at some point there will be a force the person cannot brute strength past. Then what? What happens to the people that person was trying to protect? I feel like this is some of the logic that gets Lark into that survival/prepping mind set that you were mentioning to me in your hcs! Prepping constantly for different scenarios and struggling with an urge to shelter his family from the horrors. Being adamant about at least some basic self defense and weapon training too. While thats an older Lark, I could see how a younger him might have tried to do some of the same things? Maybe in smaller ways, stashing small hand-made weapons all around the house for everyone to grab if there's an intruder. And maybe nothing ever happens (or only happened once or twice...) but he sleeps a tiny bit better knowing that he put them there. He also always checks on everyone before sleeping too. I think he doesn't like the dark either but unsure if he has a night light necessarily. (Both being stuck under the rubble and inside that tree come to mind...). Probably something that Sparrow gets or makes for him one day. Seems likely that most of his dreams would be memory focused? As a reminder of his past regrets or the carefree life he misses. One day it may be him and Sparrow sitting on tree branches about to jump down and surprise their father. The next its trying to help a heavily wounded Walter in a panic. Sometimes I wonder if the kiddads kept up with Walter? I know Grant mentioned him to the teens but there wasn't a follow-up to that hm. More of a bit of a cute addition to the sad tone but for non-canon square, I think Lark would bond well with Autumn--and I hc as them being close. She teaches him how to knit and sew. Perhaps, one of the projects they work on is a little knitted version of Walter. I think it'd be something that the boys all borrow from time to time. Maybe adding stuff to it too (one of Nicky's pins or minecraft stickers from Grant...etc). Other squares, I think the different designs for Lark are cool looking! While I do draw him with small ear piercings and some dog tags, I think him not wearing any accessories makes a lot of sense too. Hadn't really thought much about that before until you mentioned how he might keep his hair short to prevent enemies grabbing it. In the same logic, less likely to wear necklaces unless its the type that can easily pull apart. The few accessories he does wear when not in a fight are from family and friends though. Woven friendship bracelet thats snug to his wrist, probably wears it on the same side the sparrow tattoo since its from him. Dog tags might have everyone's names carved into it...small pins that can hook onto his boots or belt. Overall, I think Lark is a fun character to think about, has an intenseness about him and that can be a shield but, if he allows a person close enough, he's got a softer side too. He seems to think a lot about how to reverse stuff so everyone else that he cares for can live comfortably. I hope at some point, he allows himself to be included in the everyone.

#abeinginsand talk tag #lark oak garcia #lark oak #dndads #dndads s2 #ask meme #dndads headcanon #a bit sleepy so hopefully it all still makes sense haha

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ofwindydays · 4 months

Text

[ apo nattawin | he/they ] Another face is seeking safety in New Orleans. Make sure to welcome JEERAWAT “JURI” WAITE to the home of the resilient. Rumor has it that they are an 29 year old WITCH, who is one of the SACRIFICED but we’ll keep that a secret. They are said to be SCORNFUL, but that’s all a façade to cover up their COURTEOUS nature. We’ve heard that they can be found listening to BAD APPLE by NOMICO, which sums them up pretty well. Let’s hope that they can find a way to survive this harsh new world.

Juri was the middle child of three of the waite kids, One older and one younger. Their parents never said much of the trio, minus how odd they had three.

Of the three, it was said Juri had the most potential with their magic. Being to learn spells as if they were clock work. But there was one catch. Being partially deaf did make him prone to mistakes-making him the one who was overprotected

Juri was finding himself wanting to know more than outside the coven. Juri wanted to be free to learn.His curiousity was racing to learn no ache for more

Maybe thats why he found himself going deeper in the town interacting less with his siblings and more with the others.

Even a cute guy named Asher who made his heart skip a beat

And while all good things must come to an end even he didn't expect the OEA at his doorstep. There was a look of fear before a hardened look of resilence when he heard his siblings name. It was in that moment Juri would rather sacrifice himself then his siblings.

It was painful but he couldn't care less, at least he'd be at peace

Or so he thought as he was resurrected, confused at his return

There was a frightened look as he was at a lost

Peronality + things to know

Juri is partially deaf due to a fever at 10 years old, by then he knew how to talk but had to adapt early on. it was just his family being overproctective.

In threads it should be assumed he's signing in ASL or writing if its italics and bold if hes talking, and if hes talking god help y/m

Not so happy about being resurrected because he thinks the OEA will just come back for him or his siblings and that would suck

Juri is kinda being a lowkey with his magic but is a florist and likes preserving plant life as all life is sacred to him

He might be a flower child but he does have a harsh tongue if you push your luck

Will give tea to customers and just likes being that metaphorical ear to listen to (lip reading) and give advice

Will shit sign you in MSTSL especially if you're an OEA agent (Thai Sign Language ) because he defintely will not talk to you nicely

Overall a nice if sassy guy just confused and angry and worried for everyone

Connections:

Witches that are aware of the Waite's situation or Juri running away early

Maybe OEA agents that are like "I thought they were dead"

Customers that buy his flowers and tea

People who put two and two together and realizes that Juri did date Asher these two might be private but someone might have figured it our

Friends

Anything really

#exitium.intro

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ifeltfree · 8 months

Note

Yeah, of course I'll talk with you about it. I'm sorry to hear you're recently diagnosed. I'd say it gets better, but I'd be lying. What does change is that you get tougher, more resilient. If you're lucky, you have people around you who understand and support you well. The seizures never stop being terrifying.

It's an awful disease and one that is extremely misunderstood. Isolating is the right word, for sure. I was diagnosed at 16, so I know how hard it can be to have it as a teenager/young person as well. It feels like it's stealing from you. It is. Don't let anyone tell you any different. Your feelings are justified.

As far as how I cope? Poorly, for a long time, but recently things have been looking up. I was seizure-free for about five years before a recent set of breakthrough seizures (I crashed my car too, lol what a time), so I'm relearning how to deal with the fear and paranoia.

Logistically, I've done a few things:

I was able to get my job to let me work from home 3/5 days of the week.

I sleep. A lot. I still hang out with people and I have a lot of friends, but I had to accept there are things I can't do.

I spend a lot of time in quiet. Overstimulation doesn't help. I found this out the long way - took me forever to realize shutting up one or a few of my senses cut down the brain activity (I'm dumb).

I don't drink. I used to drink - probably too much. Substance abuse and epilepsy don't mix. That wasn't the reason for my breakthroughs, but I do have a little sobriety app. Kinda fun, honestly.

I talk to my friends about it.

That last point is something that I'd never done before this year. It's hard, of course, but I think it's helped that my friends now know I'm having crises of sanity, faith, philosophy - whatever - every day of my goddamn life. It's impossible to live with this disease and not think about what's real, what's not, if I'm losing time, what exactly is a soul...you understand.

Also, seizures are impossible to describe, but I try. That helps as well. Horrifies my friends, but they've said it's ok to talk about.

Every seizure I've had (barring these last ones, or I'd have killed myself) has stolen my personhood from me. I'd wake up as a different person, and then I'd just...live in a stranger's apartment, wear a stranger's clothes, wake up in a stranger's bed. After about a week, the feeling starts to fade but nothing ever goes back to that first reality. That disorientation is, for me, one of the worst parts of epilepsy. It's fucking scary. And if you go through that, I am so, so sorry.

If you want to talk about this more, let me know. I'm much less serious than I seem, and I write like this because I'm overeducated after being scared shitless by my brain. So.

Anyway, feel free to publish this and I hope you feel better soon.

Also, tell your tattoo artist what happened - they'll thank you for not coming in, and they also need to know you're not a flake. Don't want to make them responsible for an unconscious body when they don't have to be! :)

thank you for talking to me more about this. you worded a lot of this really well and its reassuring to know its normal to feel that way that i do about it all. my family thinks im exaggerating it so sometimes i question if im blowing things out of proportion.

anyway, thats terrible that you crashed your car. thats such a huge fear of mine and i cant imagine going through that, im so sorry. its so unfortunate that you have to miss out on things, but im glad you figured out what works for you to keep you in better shape. im gonna try and be mindful about the things you mentioned and see if they make a difference for me, thank you

i dont have much of a support system, most of my friends stopped talking to me after college and i find it hard to meet new people where i live. its significantly harder to cope with shit like this when youre on your own. im sure you get it. and i totally understand what you mean by losing your sense of self. it feels like everything is foggy, all the time but even worse on days i have seizures. it almost makes me mad cause its not fair that after everything else that comes with it, i have to have a diluted watered down personality too.

again thank you for this. ill definitely reach out if the urge arises and you definitely can too. im always open to talk, about anything

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big-idiot-wolf-boys · 10 months

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Hi! I saw your tags on the poll and I was wondering if you could talk a little bit more about why you dislike living in the PNW? I've been trying to move there so want to get a local's opinion. Ty :)

Oh shit i don't want to do anything to shatter your dreams but be warned this is the one topic i am very bitter and jaded about. Please ask someone else too because while I hate living here other people DO love it and you should make an informed decision!

Being said.... here we go. I've lived in the Seattle adjacent area my whole life. In fact my family has been in the area for six generations and all of us hate it here more than the previous generation as we've watches the area develop. Maybe I just come from a bitter and jaded family. Maybe my specific town or county is the problem. I don't know. I'm not going to break this into bullet points or organize my thoughts or anything I'm just going to ramble.

But as the years go by, everything has gotten more expensive. But despite the raise in sales and property taxes, the area is less and less maintained. The roads are abysmal. The Public works projects such as maintaining shrubbery to ensure sidewalks follow ADA clearance and pedestrians can be seen, have been thrown to the wayside. The schools and other public buildings arent maintained and often just get replaced after they start falling apart. Every year there is less of a welcoming feeling to the area. Every year beloved businesses and entertainment venues are closing down and being replaced with churches and bars. Conservatives are creeping into the area and shutting down YMCAS, qanon maniacs are being voted into mayoral office. I have personally ripped down pro nazi flyers at the ELEMENTARY SCHOOL here. The drug problem is seemingly unstoppable. Regularly there are reports of millions of dollars of coke and fentynal being seized by the feds. People are dying every day in large quantities from the drugs. Ive watched a lot of people i love lose themselves to drug induced psychosis. Thefts and burglaries and violent crime related to drugs are rapidly on the rise. 1/3 of my hometown is unhoused and thats only people who have reported/admitted to it. Not counting couch hoppers and people trading work for housing at hotels. The schools are getting worse by the year. The elder of my two younger brothers graduated because they were giving out answers to end of year exams to boost their graduate stats, probably because of previous drop out rates. 23% of MY graduating class, including myself, dropped out because the quality of the education was so awful they just got GEDs instead. Violent crime is on the rise, especially around notable twilight locations such as Forks and Port Angeles. The numbers vary but in my specific town you need to make a minimum of 27/hour to afford a single bedroom apartment. If you can find a job that pays that much or an apartment. Good luck because it's not very likely. Last summer a woman asked a community page the same thing and specifically asked for info on what the area is like for teens. She ignored a lot of comments about the negatives from teens themselves and moved here anyway. This summer she posted her son has gotten into drugs and run away from home. I hate to say it, I know it's tasteless, but she should have listened. Cause and effect maybe. I hope her kid comes home safe. I also hope she learned a lesson about not ignoring advice when she asks for it.

I stay here because my family is here. My partner's family is here. Our jobs pay decent. But if I were single and impulsive, I'd bail the fuck out of this state as soon as I could.

Yes, it's beautiful here. Yes, there's cool festivals and parks and museums. But the PNW is not the land of dreams or opportunities unless you have a lot of money and resilience to facilitate it.

Make the choice that's best for you, anon. But please don't forget the negatives because you can easily get sucked into a life of drugs and poverty.

#not twilight #thanks for asking!#anonymous #v talks #i am so sorry about how angry and bitter this sounds #i am really trying to not spew negatives and trying to reframe my mindset about this place #i want to love it i really do #but i am also sick to death of seeing people act like the pnw is only good

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greyeyedmonster-18 · 2 years

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Dr. Grey hear me out!! Callie and Arizona and Sirius and Remus: okay so it might not go with the storyline if you have meredith as lily and derek as James, or the other way round, but like I see so many similarities in the characters themselves and their relationship. Callie and Sirius are both hardcore but softies lm the inside, not on very good terms with their families, loyal, and badass. Remus and Arizona are kind and patient, but also strong and resilient, and sometimes jealous and mean.

greys anatomy anon after my own heart!!!! thank you for taking the time to yeet this into my box, it made my day this morning! and i hope you don't mind if i respond to this ask with the longest answer ever because I've never heard of a brevity a day in my life.

-first, THANK YOU FOR RE-READING FAULT LINES???? you are brave.

-second, Arizona Robbins is one of my favorite characters on television ever written (and like, also just going to fully acknowledge that i know Greys is problematic media, and could write mini dissertation on it, and so many facets of Arizona/Callie were poor queer represation at best and major ick at worst). Because with Arizona, we finally got a doctor! who wore rollerskates and swinging ponytails and used her imagination in practice for her patients and it was never question ever. I love Addison for this reason, as well, though with Ms. Montgomery, we get a little bit more of the...sexist shit. ya know?

ANYWHO

-i love the time you took in comparing sirius and remus but I am...going to playfully argue with you a bit, and say Remus would never, ever, ever work in Peds. I actually think Remus-- who was a child and broke a bone every month-- would be better for Ortho!! Deceptively strong. Has seen every break under the sun--can come up with creative fixes like Callie. And I would give Sirius Alex Karevs story line--where babe was supposed to be doing something to Make His Parents Proud, only to find he loves Peds (big strong scary man, absolute softie in the Peds unit and they love him), and cue the if you don't choose a speciality we approve of, we will cut you off, conversation.

-also. and this is going to digress a bit, my greys anatomy AU is short (and i say that because Mark/Custody battle etc etc won't even be...a thing lol, so i hope that doesn't taint expectations).

And I might get some...hate for this but whatever-- as I am writing this AU, which is the first AU I have written based on Source Material, I am realizing how much...I want to deviate from the source material to make it my own. And that is partly because I read an AU very recently, based on another book, but it contained a certain ship from HP, and it....felt like such a cop out. It put such a bitter taste in my mouth, and I was reading that AU and realizing how much they took from the book and just tweaked it and if I'm being honest...that's...not....original writing? It didn't feel original. It felt like they typed with a book flat open on their lap and yeeted it into AO3. and all the comments, that were geeking out over certain lines written were taken from elsewhere. But...people can do what they want, you know?

Thats not to say I haven't read PLENTY of other AUs loosely based on Source Material (Dear Your Holiness by @mollymarymarie comes to mind) that are phenomenal.

And I say this because my...Greys AU is not..."take james and lily and substitute them in with Meredith and derek"

Because Lily is Derek first of all, like I was going to miss out on an opportunity to create a world with badass-women doctors? But Lily isn't....Derek, just his Head of X department Job Description.

when I say loosely based on Greys. I mean that. it's Loose.

A one night stand from a bar turns out to be her new intern at her hospital. Cue chaos and romance.

(but of course there is background wolfstar and shithead fancy pants intern gets put with Remus the first week and never wants to leave)

#asks #grey answers #on paging dr. evans #greys x hp

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mindsemiosis · 2 years

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22.08.2022 / note to myself

forget about her, she doesn't care about you as deeply as you care about her. it’s not your job to safe a person who don’t want to safe themself. she showed you with her behaviour. don’t waste your energy on people who don’t want to improve themselfs as hard as you do and don’t want to do the hard work in maturing you did all the years and still do. you‘re better off alone, having your peace, working on your purpose and your goals and focus on your family. don’t think that the ability to control your emotions and your actions is a weakness. not at all. it’s a great strength, you‘re able to don’t act out on others, you‘re able to control how you will respond, you’re most of the time not in reactive mode rather choose consciously how you will handle situations. she will party as always, soothe in her toxic distractions and find someone new easily, but you‘re the real one and you will use your experiences as fuel for further self improvement. control your hurtfulness, experience it, feel it and let fucking go of it. do the same with jealousy. you don’t want only love from a person, you want personal growth, you want commitment to improvement, you want respect and you want emotional maturity. build all of this for yourself. become the person you want to be with. no distractions, no partys, no sex, no drugs, no self-pity this time… you won’t speak badly about her with anyone and keep your sadness and anger as fuel for everyting. you learned better strategies for coping. you will not disrespect your self and you won’t let anyone else disrespect you anymore. you‘re not this person anymore. you know your worth. you will focus on your dream life and build it for yourself, you will stay consistent, not giving a fuck about what anybody else will do. you will train, work, eat well, sleep well, build more consistency in life. you will be a selfmade success without anyone you have to rely on. this will make you the strongest. every person in your life will only have access to you because you want it. you will need no one, only enjoy the companionship if you want to. this will be your satisfaction. this will be your glory after all the battles, after all the years, after all of the depression you will, for the first time in your life, be completly at peace. you will enjoy your own company. you suffered enough in your life. nobody will truly understand, because of the fact that they don‘t had your life and you hate that they feel sorry for you if they would know everything. they only see the person you are today, the success you achieve, but they don‘t saw your battles. they don’t know that you had to grow up really quickly. you overcame that shit and became a men of virtue. you made the best out of all the struggles and all the problems. yeah you had no money, no safety, no security, so you fucking started to gain that all on your own, because you had no one who provided this to you. you will stop hating yourself for everything which goes wrong, but is not your responsibility to fix. this will be the foundation for everything which comes in the future. don‘t lower your standards. live accordingly to your principles. thats all what matters. one day you will die and you will see that you don‘t abadonned yourself. you can say to yourself that you lived your truth. you stayed real and loyal to your core beliefs. let everyone bitch around and stay toxic. if you can‘t find anyone who is a real one, a fighter, a never-give-up-person, a truly caring person (regardless of which they gone through) who works on improving themself and by doing so, improving the world… then be one yourself. be your own role model. you‘re one of a kind. stay as kind and caring as you are, but also learn your place with people who take your kindness for weakness. you’re a lion in sheeps clothing. so be warned if you‘re mistreating him he will show his true strength and you will be shocked about his resiliency.

your subconcious thoughts become your reality. so don‘t feed your mind with negative self talk, doubt, worry and stress. instead, fill your mind with positive self talk and tell yourself that you will succeed all the time, and that you‘re going to get it no matter what you‘re going through. believe me. go out and get what is rightfully yours. you‘re born free and you can make your own decision to get the most out of this life which is yours.

#breakup #stayfocused #motivation #mindset

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