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robininthelabyrinth · 3 years

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I really like your takes on the Nie brothers! Could you maybe do something with NHS being a sneaky little badass (not that he isn't always) and NMJ being all "wait, you thought I was the brother you should be afraid of? I'll be over here laughing while NHS wrecks you in all ways but physically". I know that's not a lot to go off of so I understand if this doesn't click with you

In Here, With Me - ao3 (chapter 3/3)

People never seemed to understand, and Nie Mingjue was honestly tired of trying to explain it to them.

He’d never been especially good with words, or at least he wasn’t on a personal level. He apparently had a talent for speeches, especially wartime speeches made to soldiers in order to buck up their courage and build up their morale; that was easy enough, standing up in front of them and telling them the same sorts of things he’d been telling himself for years whenever the dreary endless sludge of politics and other people’s unwillingness to move themselves even in their own best interest started getting him down. He could use his height to his advantage there, towering over people, and couple that the strength of his voice – he suspected that half the time people didn’t even really listen to him, just looked at him and made conjectures for the rest, and that was just fine by him. Whatever worked.

But when it came to explaining complicated things like his brother…

Yeah, he had nothing.

Nie Huaisang had never been good at the things the Nie sect usually prized – he was a weak cultivator and bad at fighting, and at some point Nie Mingjue had more or less entirely given up on trying to teach him the fundamentals of saber fighting in favor of teaching him a much more narrowly targeted set of skills, designed to help keep him alive in a pinch. Even with that, he’d whined and complained, dragged his feet and resisted…he didn’t even have significant scholarly talents to make up for it, not really. Nie Mingjue had no taste for art, but those who did suggested (in however polite terms they could manage) that Nie Huaisang’s poetry was wretched, his composition barely serviceable, his attempts at philosophy convoluted and contraindicated, and as for his painting skills…

Well, he could draw birds pretty well.

But he could play a mean game of weiqi, even against Nie Mingjue, and he was lively and personable - nobody ever disliked him, assuming they bothered to pay him attention at all. He liked to barter with merchants whenever he went shopping, and shopping was the one thing he really did do with a passion; he could make the most grim-faced cynic on the street break out into a smile, and collected half a dozen or more free treats every time he went to the marketplace despite them all knowing he could afford their wares if he so wished.

Nie Huaisang, in short, was good for nothing, but he was fun to be around.

He was also – and this was the part Nie Mingjue could never explain to people – one of the most persistent and vindictive sonofabitches to have ever been born.

One would think, wrongly, that Nie Huaisang would have learned to be more forgiving on account of his personal weakness, but in fact, it just seemed to make him even more inclined to get vengeance on those who had wronged him. He bore grudges without ever feeling the weight, as immovable as the mountains – there would be times when something would blow up spectacularly in Nie Mingjue’s face and he’d turn around only to find Nie Huaisang there, smiling at him and reminding him of some grievance from years before.

And that was if he were lucky – if he were unlucky, he’d find himself in some blissful situation, given everything he’d ever wanted, and find Nie Huaisang patting himself on the back for arranging it.

When Nie Mingjue had been forced by the Wen sect’s overweening arrogance to send Nie Huaisang to them for reeducation and indoctrination, about nine-tenths of what he’d felt had been terror, thinking about all the things that the Wen sect could do to his weak little brother who had nothing but good humor to defend himself with. The last tenth, though, had been the lingering thought that he’d been unable to fully banish: I don’t think they know what they’re getting themselves into here.

Sure enough, they hadn’t.

Now, Nie Huaisang hadn’t personally delivered any of the finishing blows there, but then, he never did, preferring to use other people to do it for him - even in vengeance and spying, he was lazy as always. Wen Chao, who had mocked him, had been left to the vengeance of Wei Wuxian with his brand new demonic cultivation; it’d been an ugly sort of death. Wen Zhuliu, who’d threatened him, had ‘accidentally’ gotten his hand broken when Nie Huaisang’s saber had temporarily ‘gone out of control’ and pierced the key meridian of his wrist – those few months of forcing Nie Huaisang to take classes on medicine had clearly not gone to waste – and then been executed by Jiang Cheng with his steely-eyed hatred. Wen Ruohan, who had murdered their father and made Nie Mingjue’s life a living hell for years, had seen his sons murdered, his empire destroyed, his war lost, and in the end had been stabbed in the back by a trusted subordinate.

Throughout, no one had paid any attention to poor little Nie Huaisang, preserved only through the Wen sect's desire to humiliate the Nie sect by using him as a clown.

Even Lan Xichen, who ought to know better, had persisted in comforting Nie Mingjue throughout the war regarding Nie Huaisang’s health, as if Baxia wasn’t full up on all the complaints Nie Huaisang could possibly fit in given the size of his saber and the quantity of his qi. Meng Yao knew, Nie Mingjue supposed, but that was because he was himself another object of Nie Huaisang’s vengeance – he’d find himself with everything he’d ever wanted, the poor man, and in Nie Huaisang’s eternal debt to boot.

Poor, poor man.

It was a good thing for everyone, Nie Mingjue reflected, that he was too virtuous to sic Nie Huaisang on people.

Usually.

“You promised me that Jiang Cheng would be made Chief Cultivator instead of me,” he reminded Nie Huaisang, who sighed dramatically. “Huaisang. You promised.”

“I promised I’d try, da-ge!”

Nie Mingjue crossed his arms and glared.

“It’s a work in progress, all right? I’m going to have er-ge suggest it.”

Nie Mingjue’s eyebrows went up. “Xichen? How?”

“As a wedding present to his new in-law –”

Nie Mingjue held up a hand. “Stop right there. Who’s getting married?”

“Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji,” Nie Huaisang said obediently.

Nie Mingjue thought about their respective personalities and started to detect the start of a headache. “Which one are you punishing for some unremembered petty slight, this time?”

“Neither!”

Nie Mingjue gave him a look.

“…Wei-xiong screwed up helping me cheat on a test, and Lan Zhan bit me.”

“He bit you? How old was he, five?”

“Six! Old enough to know better!”

Nie Mingjue rolled his eyes. “And which one is going to think that they owe you their lives for arranging this?”

“Lan Zhan knows I’m working on it,” Nie Huaisang said promptly, and Nie Mingjue nodded. That made sense: Lan Wangji was honorable and dependable, and would be easy to extract things out of in the future if things went the way he wanted. “Also, Mistress Wen promised to give me anything I want if I can make Wei-xiong stop pining.”

“Mistress Wen? You mean Wen Qing?” Nie Mingjue’s eyes narrowed. “She’s a doctor, isn’t she?”

“Her brother Wen Ning helped poison a whole bunch of Wen sect soldiers one time, very impressive, you’ll like him,” Nie Huaisang said, not answering the question. “It’s the least I can do, really!”

“Huaisang…”

“Listen, if Wei-xiong and Lan Zhan are going to start their own sect up, they’re going to need some support first,” Nie Huaisang said with great dignity. “We’re not taking in the Wen sect, we’ll just be housing them for a little while, that’s all!”

“Huaisang…”

Nie Huaisang grinned at him.

Nie Mingjue threw his hands into the air. There was really no point in worrying any more about Nie Huaisang, he decided – ever since he’d found his talent for spying, and for managing other spies, Nie Huaisang had decided that he was going to rearrange the entire cultivation world to his liking in just the same way he’d rearranged the furniture in his quarters in the Unclean Realm.

No, really, there was no point in worrying for Nie Huaisang.

Now it was time to worry for everyone else.

#mdzs #nie huaisang #nie mingjue #my fic #my fics #in here with me

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ibijau · 2 years

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A second part for that fic where lxc died in seclusion and nhs, through mourning him, realised how much he felt for his Er-ge / Also on AO3

Warning for themes of suicide, depression, and self-hatred (but this is angst with a happy, or at least hopeful ending)

Lan Xichen had been staring at the ribbon in his hands for only a short while when his uncle entered the room and gently took it from him.

That was when he realised that many hours had passed, and night had fallen. Time, once again, had moved around him without touching him. His uncle felt his distress and said nothing, instead pushing a glass of cool tea in his hand and presenting some light food to him.

Eating was difficult some days, but Lan Xichen always made an effort for his uncle who would look so sad otherwise. After everything else, it would have been unbearable to cause Lan Qiren yet more pain. Of course if Lan Xichen hadn’t lost his nerve that morning, if he’d done what he intended to do instead of hesitating… If he'd succeeded it would have hurt his uncle, his brother as well, but only in the same way that removing a splinter always hurt, and then they would have been free and relieved of their burden.

“It cannot go on like this,” Lan Qiren said when Lan Xichen found himself unable to swallow anything more.

Lan Xichen dejectedly stared at the rice he could not finish. Do not waste food. But then, wasn’t it wasted too if someone as useless as him ate it?

“Seclusion is meant to be a cultivation tool,” his uncle continued, “or a way to reflect on one’s conduct. You cannot continue using it as a way to hurt yourself.”

An argument that would have held more weight, had their family not had a long history of doing exactly that.

“Xichen, you cannot stay in this house.”

Lan Xichen’s eyes snapped up from his bowl of rice to gaze at his uncle in terror. He thought he would find judgement, or anger, or worst of all disappointment on his uncle’s face, but instead saw only a pity so great it made him feel ashamed.

“Shufu, I cannot leave,” he said.

Not ‘do not want”, not ‘will not’, but ‘cannot’.

He knew his affliction, though he had never found a suitable name for it. He usually merely called it melancholy, so it wouldn’t worry those who did not already know the truth… which was to say, anyone besides his uncle and brother. He’d never dared to fully explain this to Nie Mingjue, whose own illness was so much more serious than his little bouts of misery, but he had thought sometimes with Jin Guangyao he might… yet he hadn’t wanted to seem weak in front of a man who had fought so hard for everything he had, and changed his mind about that confidence. One secret, against all those his sworn brother had kept from him.

Lan Xichen knew what he suffered from, and how he suffered from it. It had been a constant companion all his life, even before his mother’s death, though that had certainly been the first time it had become noticeable to others. He’d become quite good at functioning through minor attacks, at disguising major ones.

This one was something different. This one, he knew, he would not recover from.

“This house is not good for you,” Lan Qiren said. “The Cloud Recesses are not good for you. Not anymore. Perhaps they never were, but we all trained you too well, and we did not see what it had done to you. You need to rejoin the world”

“I cannot,” Lan Xichen whispered, lowering his eyes.

The mere thought was intolerable. To stand again in front of others, pretending that things were fine, that he could be strong, that he could lead, that there was any wisdom to be found in him…

A warm hand came to rest on his own, while Lan Qiren tried his best to smile at him, even when they both knew it did not come to him easily.

“I am not asking you to resume your position as sect leader,” Lan Qiren said, and his weak smile dropped. “It would kill you even quicker than staying here alone could. This should never have been your responsibility to bear in the first place, but with the Wens preparing for war…”

Guilt and shame flooded over Lan Xichen. He knew this already. They had discussed it, right after Qingheng-Jun had died. Lan Qiren had been of the opinion that his nephew was too young to bear the responsibility of an entire sect, while himself had age and experience on his side. Had times not been so desperate, Lan Xichen would gladly have let his uncle rise to the honour of sect leader. But there had been a war on the horizon, and while Lan Qiren would have been more competent, neither of them could have denied that Lan Xichen was the more charismatic of the two, and they’d needed a leader who would garner good will among potential allies.

It ought to have been a temporary situation. Lan Xichen was meant the abdicate in favour of his uncle once the crisis had passed… but the Sunshot Campaign’s aftermath had created a tense political situation that allowed no apparent weakness, then there had been the need to avoiding bringing attention to Lan Wangji’s seclusion after the death of Wei Wuxian, and later that new political mess between the Nie and the Jin, and… and the time had just never been right, with always something to make them fear their sect would suffer from a change in leadership. So Lan Qiren had waited and done his best to help, while his nephew endured and tried to ignore his ever declining health, until one last crisis broke him for good.

“I don’t think it will be enough,” Lan Xichen whispered. “Even if I’m no longer a sect leader, people will still want to ask about…”

He drew in a shaky breath, drowning in guilt so thick it nearly made him sick. The things he had done he could almost live with. But what he had allowed others to do, the crimes he had left unchecked, the accusations a dying Jin Guangyao had thrown at him, the cold hatred Nie Huaisang had spewed at his brother’s second funeral… This haunted him, and he could not bear to imagine how much worse it would get for him if he faced the world.

Lan Qiren said nothing for a long while, silently holding his hands while watching his face as if searching for something in it. What he hoped to find, Lan Xichen could not imagine. He had only grown more and more empty these past two years alone in his house, until nothing but a shell remained that he hoped to make disappear as well.

“Lying is forbidden,” Lan Qiren said at last, speaking in the slow manner he used to teach younger children. “And yet in certain circumstances, it will be excused. I hope you will forgive me for the lie I am about to suggest.”

“Shufu?”

“You cannot live hidden in this house,” Lan Qiren stated, his grip on Lan Xichen’s hands tightening. “You cannot live as a sect leader, either. And I agree that it would harm you just as much to merely retire and remain among cultivators.”

“So I must die,” Lan Xichen said, terrified and hopeful at once. He only lived because others had not allowed him to take his own life. If his uncle and brother promised they would no longer attempt to rescue him…

“You cannot live on like this, and I cannot allow you to die,” Lan Qiren replied, his grasp now painful. “But I am willing to let the world believe that you have, and to never see you again, if that might help you.”

Lan Xichen blinked, surprised by the emotion on his uncle’s usually stern face, the unspilled tears that made his eyes shine. More pain that he had caused, more guilt to weigh down his soul.

“I’m not sure I understand, shufu.”

“We are going to lie,” Lan Qiren explained. “And doing so, we are going to save you.”

Back when he was young and had time for idle purposes, Lan Xichen had sometimes paused for portraits. Lan Wangji had needed a model patient enough, and Nie Huaisang had never taken no for an answer when he had a caprice in mind.

This, however, was quite different from pausing for a painting.

“No, no, don’t look!” Wei Wuxian scolded. “Keep your eyes closed! And don’t breathe so deeply. You’re dead, remember?”

“Nobody will look that closely,” Lan Xichen mildly complained, even though he’d been informed a little earlier that he wasn’t allowed to speak either. He’d almost laughed. If there was one person who didn’t get to demand that the dead be silent, it was Wei Wuxian.

“The entire Lan sect is going to see what they need to think is your corpse,” Wei Wuxian said. “We need to fool them.”

“They haven’t seen me in two years, it will be fine.”

“Probably. But Nie Huaisang has sent word that he’s coming to your funeral, and we’ll need to fool him too.”

“Oh,” Lan Xichen just said, and fell silent.

He hadn’t thought Nie Huaisang would come at all, but of course he was too clever not to pay his respects, if only to maintain whatever alliance remained between Qinghe Nie and Gusu lan.

He wondered if Nie Huaisang would be fooled by this fake corpse Wei Wuxian was crafting. Wei Wuxian was a man of rare talent, but Nie Huaisang had proven to be quite good at seeing through lies. If he realised the truth, would he denounce the subterfuge? Or would he be too satisfied to find that the last of his brother’s murderer had died to even bother looking at his corpse?

He wondered if Nie Huaisang would cry for him. They had almost been friends, once. And if Nie Mingjue hadn’t died when he had, maybe they would have…

But Nie Mingjue had died, and the manner of his death could not be forgotten.

Lan Xichen knew that Nie Huaisang would not shed a single tear for him.

He hadn’t earned the right to be mourned by him.

Lan Xichen did not linger to see his own funeral, but heard later that it had been a very sober affair, and that people said many good things about him.

It would have comforted him about his own value, if he hadn’t remembered that people did the same at Jin Guangshan’s funeral.

It had not been Lan Xichen’s own choice to have Wen Ning as a travelling companion. His family, or at least the part of it that knew he wasn’t dead, had just decided that his current health wasn’t good enough to let him wander on his own. As Wei Wuxian so pragmatically put it, they hadn’t faked his suicide just so he could go kill himself ten li away, so he needed someone to keep an eye on him.

It couldn’t be Lan Qiren, who was under so much attention as a new sect leader. It also couldn’t be Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian, who were a little too noticeable everywhere they went. They’d thought about Lan Sizhui, but in the end the young man hadn’t even been told at all that his uncle still lived, because Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian felt it would be cruel to force him to keep that secret from his friends.

Meanwhile, Wen Ning had no official duties to conduct, and he was good at staying hidden. He had agreed to keeping an eye on Lan Xichen, even though they’d hardly exchanged two words in their lives. Not only that, but Lan Xichen had been there when Wen Qing’s ashes were scattered, he had been among those who swore to destroy the Wens who survived in the Burial Mounds of Yiling. Lan Xichen had thought then that the place had turned into a den of demonic cultivators, filled with an army of fierce corpses all as dangerous as Wen Ning, who had slaughtered so many already.

It was not the travel companion Lan Xichen would have preferred, not that he’d given the question much thought.

Yet when he thought of protesting, Wen Ning had looked at him and given him that odd grimace which passed as a smile for him.

“Two dead men, I think it’s fitting,” he’d said.

That had settled the issue. Lan Xichen just did not have the strength to object any further. In fact, he quickly decided that it might be for the best that Wen Ning, of all people, would be travelling with him. After the lies Lan Xichen had allowed himself to be fed about the Wens of the Burial Mounds, it was doubtful that Wen Ning would do too much to protect him from himself, next time that melancholy seized him.

The first few months of travel weren't unpleasant. Lan Xichen found himself thinking that his uncle had been right, that he had only needed a little change to allow for recovery. Most of the time he appeared to be alone, as Wen Ning was reluctant to show himself to common people. Well, nearly alone: he had been given a horse by his uncle, an even-tempered animal that matched his own personality, and proved to be quite enough company for him. During the day he travelled without clear goal except for the enjoyment of the journey itself, sometimes stopping to admire a beautiful landscape, once or twice even painting something quick that he might show to…

But there was no one left to admire his work, supposing there ever was. Perhaps Jin Guangyao had only ever been polite whenever he professed that he thought the world of Lan Xichen’s latest work. As for Nie Huaisang, whose taste had always been excellent, whose praise had been so hard to obtain… certainly he must have lied, whenever he said something pleasant about Lan Xichen’s paintings. Surely it must have cost him to praise the man who had failed to prevent his brother’s murder.

Surely he must have hated Lan Xichen as much as Lan Xichen hated himself.

His thoughts started spiralling on that subject one night. He’d done a quick sketch of some mountains that afternoon, only to be struck first by the thought that Nie Huaisang would have loved to see such a place, then by the remembrance that he actually did not know Nie Huaisang at all, that the only certainty he could have was the other man hated him, having said as much when they re-buried Nie Mingjue.

Normally, Lan Xichen never stayed alone for long at night. Whether he had to sleep in the wild or could find an inn, Wen Ning would join him and check on him. But for whatever reason Wen Ning was late that night. He never really had the chance to explain, either, because when Wen Ning finally made his way to the room Lan Xichen had paid for, it was to find him preparing a knot with his ribbon.

Wen Ning did not say anything. Lan Xichen just smoothed out that knot, and politely asked about the Ghost General’s day, as he always did. It was easy to fall into their normal routine and pretend nothing had happened. Lan Xichen had always been particularly good at that sort of deception. He had his dinner, did some meditation, and went to bed as if nothing were amiss.

All that time Wen Ning stared at him as only a dead man could stare, patient and unrelenting.

Even with his back turned to him, and in the darkness of that room, Lan Xichen could still feel the strength of that stare as sleep eluded him.

“You must despise me,” he said at last, his own eyes closed as if he still thought he would sleep that night.

There was silence for a while.

“Is that an order, or a conclusion you’ve reached?” Wen Ning asked.

More silence, as Lan Xichen considered that question.

“A conclusion. I have no rights to give you orders. I have allowed so much to happen… Your family in the Burial Mounds, and…”

“A-Yuan is a happy young man,” Wen Ning interrupted. “He is well adjusted, he has friends, he’s been taught well. He told me you often took care of him when he was very young.”

Lan Xichen hesitated.

“Do not think me kinder than I am. I just couldn’t let anyone… He’d been very sick and didn’t seem to remember his life before coming to us, but if his memories returned and he said something wrong…” Lan Xichen paused, and sighed deeply. “At the time, I thought he might have been the love child of your sister and Wei Wuxian. It seemed to make sense? Wei Wuxian had abandoned everything to protect your family.”

Wen Ning was silent.

And silent.

And silent so long that Lan Xichen feared he had offended him, especially when the fierce corpse started making an odd, wheezing sound.

Laughter, he then realised.

“Jiejie would be so insulted that anyone could think she had that relationship with Wei Wuxian,” Wen Ning said with surprising good humour, as if the idea delighted him. “I think uncle four suggested it once, and she scared him so bad he avoided her for a week. She said nobody should have such bad taste. No offence to your brother,” Wen Ning added after reflection.

"It's fine. I’ve also expressed doubts regarding his choices,” Lan Xichen said with a weak smile.

It had been such a long while since he’d smiled.

He was more grateful to Wen Ning for making him smile again than for saving his life.

When he’d left the Cloud Recesses, Lan Xichen hadn’t had any particular destination in mind. If he were honest, he hadn’t particularly expected his uncle’s plan to work, and had thought he’d just wander for a little while until his self-hatred became too strong and he took his own life. Since Wen Ning had now made it clear he would not allow this to happen, Lan Xichen was forced to start planning.

He tried, first of all, to ask Wen Ning if he had preferences. To this the fierce corpse replied that there was nowhere he wished to revisit that wouldn’t remind him of darker times, so while he had a list of places he’d rather avoid, he otherwise didn’t care where they went. Lan Xichen was thus left alone to decide where to go, when he still did not trust himself to make decisions of any sorts.

After a long, painful week of consideration, Lan Xichen settled for Baidi as a destination. It was a city that exiles had visited and immortalised in poetry, which he thought was fitting for his own situation, unlikely as he was to ever see his home again. On a more practical note, there was no longer a cultivation sect around Baidi, the old one having allied itself with Qishan Wen and been slaughtered during the course of the Sunshot Campaign. That meant it was less likely for anyone but rogue cultivators to be in that area, and only in case of crisis, so Lan Xichen would be in less danger to be recognised.

But there was also…

It was a very silly thing, all things considered. But Lan Xichen remembered talking about Baidi with Nie Huaisang once or twice, and how nice it would be to go there together. Back then, things had been easy. They’d been friends, and he’d thought he knew Nie Huaisang. He’d even thought sometimes that they shared a special bond, Nie Huaisang with his many fears, Lan Xichen with his deadly melancholy. Nie Huaisang had been the only person in whom he’d felt he could confide that particular weakness, the only person who seemed like he might have understood what it was like to be constantly betrayed by one’s own mind. He’d seemed very sympathetic to Lan Xichen’s plight at the time, and started writing to him out of the blue if they didn’t see for a while, just to get some news. Lan Xichen had taken to doing the same in return, and he’d thought, he’d truly thought…

But in the end, he hadn’t known Nie Huaisang as well as he’d thought, and there had probably never been any unspoken understanding of a shared plight, no secret affection that couldn’t be acted upon. Lan Xichen had been wrong about this, just as he was always wrong about everything.

He’d been wrong, and he was enough of a fool to still hold dear memories of a lie.

Wen Ning offered no objection to the prospect of going to Baidi. But when after a few days of travelling in that direction Lan Xichen wondered if he should warn his uncle of his decision, Wen Ning guiltily confessed that he’d already sent word about that, just as he’d made sure to keep Lan Qiren updated about most things they did.

“Even…” Lan Xichen started asking, before shame overcame him.

“I did not mention that you briefly relapsed,” Wen Ning replied, and Lan Xichen instantly relaxed. “It was only one time, and you haven’t tried again since. I saw no reason to worry him when you’re doing better.”

It felt odd to Lan Xichen that anyone might think his health improved. He wasn’t sure he felt any particular difference, save for the fact that he was now hiding among crowds instead of inside his house. Perhaps Wen Ning was just trying to be kind, then.

“I suppose it’s better if you’re the one writing to him,” Lan Xichen said. “After all, I’m supposed to be dead.”

“So am I,” Wen Ning reminded him. “It’d probably please him to have news directly from you.”

Lan Xichen doubted that anything he’d done since becoming sect leader had ever much pleased his uncle, even if he sometimes said otherwise.

But no, that was just the melancholy speaking. His uncle had always scolded him when he needed to be scolded, praised him when he deserved to be praised. It would be unfair to Lan Qiren to accuse him of insincerity, and so he had to mean those occasional compliments he’d given.

That night, when he stopped at an inn, Lan Xichen wrote a brief letter to his uncle, which Wen Ning promised would reach Lan Qiren in a discreet manner.

Some days later, Lan Qiren sent a letter. Even though his prose was as stern as ever, there was something joyful in that short missive, in his remarks that Baidi seemed like a wise hiding place. Perhaps he really was happy to have received news from his nephew. And perhaps Lan Xichen being able to acknowledge that he could give joy to those he loved was a sign that he really was improving.

A slow correspondence started between Lan Xichen and his uncle, which became a steadier one once he had reached Baidi. At first Lan Xichen had very little to talk about, save to say how much distance they’d travelled since the previous letter. But as time passed, he found more and more to say. He would describe the villages they’d passed through, the sights they’d seen. He shared some of the sketches he’d made, and a haunting he’d had to help with, once people of a certain manor near Baidi realised he was a cultivator, after which the master of the house had invited him to stay at another home he owned in Baidi as an honoured guest.

It had felt good to be useful, to be helpful, to deal with a situation where right and wrong were easy to distinguish.

It made it easier when Lan Qiren, in his own letters, started mentioning that Nie Huaisang had announced he would be stepping down as sect leader.

At first nothing more than that was known, and Lan Xichen could only wonder at how little he knew Nie Huaisang. He’d imagined that Nie Huaisang would now show his true colour, perhaps even that he would try to seize power and become Chief Cultivator. Why not? He was smart enough for it. Lan Xichen had long thought that Nie Huaisang’s problem arose from a lack of ambition and motivation rather than from being stupid as some would have said. Having proven he could be motivated after all, who knew if he hadn’t also hidden that he was power hungry? Even his stepping down could have been a mere part of a complicated plan.

When Lan Xichen expressed those thoughts in a letter, Lan Qiren replied that he did not think Nie Huaisang held such dark designs. On the contrary, it had been widely observed that he’d been growing depressed and indifferent in the past year, delegating more and more of his duties to his first disciple, now his future replacement, while he personally tried to amuse himself with other pursuits. If this was merely part of a scheme, then it had to be a very complex one indeed because one of the few topics on which Nie Huaisang could be bothered to take position was that a Chief Cultivator was not something anyone needed anymore.

That did sound more like the Nie Huaisang who Lan Xichen had thought he knew. It sounded like the man he’d been friends with for well over a decade, and gave him hope that not everything had been a lie, that he’d only been fooled at a few key moments rather than a majority of time. There was a comfort to be found in the thought that perhaps both Nie Huaisang and Jin Guangyao had truly liked him, that the affection and friendship had been genuine, regardless of the betrayal and the lies.

When more news filtered out, when Lan Qiren learned from Nie Huaisang himself that his intention was merely to withdraw from public life and wander to admire the beauty of the world, Lan Xichen only felt more peaceful. Being idle and aimless was exactly what Nie Huaisang had always dreamed of doing, before his brother’s untimely death had forced a different fate upon his shoulders.

In his next letter, Lan Xichen felt nostalgic enough to wonder if there was any chance that Nie Huaisang and him might meet again. He did not think that Nie Huaisang would ever forgive him his role in Nie Mingjue’s death, nor would he likely approve of Lan Xichen’s escape from his duties out of mere sadness, but for his part Lan Xichen couldn’t help but wish he could get a chance to find out what sort of a man Nie Huaisang truly was. He’d had so few friends in his life, and Nie Huaisang was the last one still alive.

It would have been pleasant if they could have had another chance to be friends, this time without any secrets left between them, his letter concluded.

After this Lan Qiren’s letters never mentioned Nie Huaisang again, except to mention that he’d stepped down as planned. Lan Xichen felt silly for having burdened his uncle with his regrets, and dropped the subject as well.

In truth, while Nie Huaisang, Jin Guangyao, and even Nie Mingjue were often in his thoughts, Lan Xichen also had much else to keep him busy.

Without quite meaning to, Lan Xichen had gathered around him some disciples, children of Baidi who were eager to learn cultivation and had shown some promise. First it had been only the daughter and the son of the man whose house he lived in, and that hadn’t been so bad. But of course the two children had told some of their friends, while their parents had boasted of their luck to a few relatives. Soon enough Lan Xichen had been forced to explain that he could only teach children who had the right disposition, and that he wouldn’t be able to go beyond a few basic principles since it was not his intention to establish himself there. Even like that, Lan Xichen found himself with a dozen students, mostly boys but a few girls as well, listening to his every words as if he were a well of wisdom.

It was terrifying at first. A few times, Lan Xichen thought of dying to escape this new responsibility he’d never asked for, but Wen Ning’s constant presence made that impossible. He still wanted to escape then, and one night even told Wen Ning about wishing to leave Baidi behind.

“It’s just teaching,” Wen Ning pointed out. “You like teaching, no?”

The question startled Lan Xichen out of his rising panic.

“I do. I did. But that was when I still thought I had a right to it. I’m not sure I’m fit to be a teacher anymore, considering…”

“Well, you probably shouldn’t be teaching children how to spot evil people in their lives,” Wen Ning agreed with a wry smile. “But what happened doesn’t change the fact you’re a good cultivator, and you know how to show others what they need to start cultivating, according to Sizhui. You like that part, right?”

“I do. I’m just not sure I’m the right person to do this.”

Wen Ning shrugged. “Maybe yes, maybe no. Sometimes, there’s no right person. There’s just the person who’s there when it’s needed.”

Lan Xichen fell silent for a moment. He wondered if that was what Nie Mingjue had thought when his father had died, Nie Huaisang when he’d lost his brother. If nobody else was left, someone had to do the job.

“Fine, I’m staying in Baidi,” Lan Xichen agreed. “But I think you should help me teach these children.”

Wen Ning grimaced, always a frightful sight on his stiff face. “That’s a terrible idea, for so many reasons I can’t list them all.”

"You were trained in the methods of Qishan Wen, and you are probably the last person to remember that training."

"That's one of the reasons why it'd be a terrible idea, yes."

Lan Xichen smiled weakly. "I meant that as a reason why you should do it," he corrected. "Qishan Wen was not always what it had become. Its knowledge should not be lost."

"I was a very poor cultivator when I was alive," Wen Ning countered. "I wouldn't be the right person to… ah. I can guess your next argument."

"Good. I don't want to do this alone. I think I don't like being on my own."

Two years with only himself for company had proven that. And the fact that he still missed Nie Huaisang and Jin Guangyao proved well enough that he craved friendship and closeness. Lan Xichen wasn't sure Wen Ning was his friend, but after nearly a year together, he wouldn't mind if the other man owned him as one.

In the end, Wen Ning agreed to help him teach.

The children were scared of him at first, not realising that he was equally terrified. But over time everyone relaxed, and Wen Ning appeared to find real joy in this new task. He seemed to really like children, perhaps because he'd not quite been an adult when he died, and he was clearly proud to share the knowledge he'd gotten from his sect with people who didn't instantly treat any Wen teachings with disgust.

How odd, to find pride in anything.

But as weeks passed, Lan Xichen realised that he too was proud of his work in Baidi, of his student's progress, of his own healing even. These days he rarely thought of dying more than once or twice a week, when it used to be a constant noise in the back of his mind. And unless he was having a truly awful day, it was getting easier to tell himself that death wouldn't really solve his problems.

Even bad days were a little easier to handle. Lan Xichen could not control his moods nor the speed at which small things made him take a turn for the worse, but he was starting to recognise it when those shifts happened, and so did Wen Ning. The fierce corpse would cancel lessons for the day, and let Lan Xichen rest, keeping him company in silence. Or if the dark mood lasted too long, he would convince Lan Xichen to leave the house and wander on the banks of the Yangtze River, to watch passing boats and diving birds, or just to meditate somewhere different. It usually worked in getting Lan Xichen out of his own head.

That particular day was a bad one almost from the start. Lan Xichen’s host had proudly announced over breakfast that another cultivator had just arrived in town, and instantly Lan Xichen’s mood had turned sour. Even when his host told him that the newcomer claimed no affiliation to any sect, and didn't appear to be anyone famous, dread settled deep inside Lan Xichen’s bones. Wen Ning noticed, as he always did, and immediately said that they had some business out of town that day which they could not delay. They might be gone a day or two, he said, before shoving a large bamboo hat on Lan Xichen's head and dragging him outside. They left the city behind, walking silently for a long while until they were perfectly alone on the road.

"It might not even be a real cultivator," Wen Ning quietly remarked. "There are plenty of people out there who lie to get gifts from those who don't know better. And if it's an impostor, he'll avoid us."

"But a real cultivator will seek our company," Lan Xichen replied. He looked around, admiring the river, and sighed. "I don't want to leave. I like this place. I like our students."

Wen Ning nodded. "I can scare away that person," he offered. "I am the terrifying Ghost General."

That remark got a weak smile out of Lan Xichen, and almost a chuckle as well. It surprised him sometimes that they’d all ever thought Wen Ning was a terrifying thing to be destroyed. It certainly was hard to remember that he’d done terrible things in the past to justify his reputation, when he was so gentle with the children they were teaching.

“Let’s not advertise your presence here more than necessary,” Lan Xichen said. “We’re lucky enough the people here could be convinced that you’re merely the victim of a curse. If cultivators hear that the Ghost General is here, it’ll draw them to Baidi rather than away from it.”

“Then what do we do? Just wait?”

“I’m not sure there’s anything else we can do,” Lan Xichen sighed, though the idea made him uncomfortable.

Waiting to see, waiting for proof, waiting in case things got better, that was how he’d gotten in this situation in the first place. He’d done so much waiting all his life. He’d done nothing but wait and hope that others would take action first, willing to react but never to act. Waiting hadn’t worked out so well for him this far, and yet he couldn’t push himself to do anything differently even after he should have learned better.

As every time he encountered a problem these days, death offered itself as a solution. It felt like a more tempting option than it had in a long while when faced with the threat of discovery. Everyone who'd been forced to pity him over his early death would be furious. His brother and his uncle would see their reputation tarnished for having been complicit in that lie. And Lan Xichen himself would have to face the consequences of his actions, or rather of his inaction. He would be made to explain why he never doubted Jin Guangyao's true intentions, why he never saw past Nie Huaisang's comedy, why he never suspected that the world could be so cruel, or that most of its cruelty came from the people he loved the most.

Death would be easier.

But Lan Xichen did not want to die.

That thought was so shocking that Lan Xichen felt guilty. After all the wrong he'd done, after causing so much trouble for his loved ones, what right did he have to live?

Still, he did not want to die, not even when life felt so terrifying.

After such an intense realisation, it was a relief when Wen Ning agreed that they should just wait and see what would come of that supposed cultivator's arrival. He also did not protest when Lan Xichen expressed the wish to go meditate in a quiet place he liked, by the river. It was what Lan Xichen often did when bad days struck, and he desperately needed that chance to calm his mind.

Lan Xichen's favourite place was a particularly picturesque one. There was a large tree by the river, which in that season was covered in pale flowers, while in its branches birds sang to their mates. Petals fell on Lan Xichen's hat like colourful snow. On the other side of the water, there was a clear view of high mountains, a peaceful and steady sight which never failed to make Lan Xichen feel a little more grounded. He sat there under the tree until the shadows grew long around him, until his heart could make peace with the fantastically novel idea that he might enjoy being alive, now that he was removed from the title of sect leader which had so weighed him down.

As darkness started to tint the horizon, Lan Xichen felt a presence near him and opened his eyes, expecting to see that Wen Ning had come back from wherever he went while Lan Xichen meditated. Instead, glancing from under his bamboo hat, he saw shoes and robes that belonged to a stranger.

“Please don’t be alarmed,” the stranger said in a voice less foreign than it should have been. “I hope you will forgive me for being so rude, but earlier as I was wandering alongside the river I saw you sitting here and was overcome with the need to paint you. It might seem odd, but something about you reminded me of a friend who passed away some months ago.”

For a brief moment, Lan Xichen felt breathless. Even if the hem of his hat hid the man’s face from him, and his own face from the man’s sight, that voice was so familiar that it made his heart ache. It had to be a coincidence, though, because while that sounded like Nie Huaisang, he would never have called Lan Xichen a friend, not after everything that had passed between them.

“As an apology for behaving this way, I actually made a second painting to give to you,” the stranger insisted, bending over to hand him a piece of paper. Lan Xichen lowered his head to keep his face hidden, but took the painting offered to him.

It was one thing to doubt a voice, but there was no doubting the skill in those brushstrokes. Every line was clear and precise, a few expert touches of colour bringing the scene to life. Lan Xichen had seen enough of Nie Huaisang’s art that he could have recognised his pieces anywhere.

“Thank you,” Lan Xichen said, which startled Nie Huaisang so badly that he took a step behind. “I am honoured that you would mistake me for a friend.”

In the silence that followed, Lan Xichen heard the doubt that had to cross Nie Huaisang’s mind, the disbelief that would be stronger than his own, having believed Lan Xichen to be dead.

“It was a very dear friend of mine,” Nie Huaisang said carefully, as if he feared to be mistaken. “Dearer than I realised when he was alive. I will always regret that I wasn’t able to tell him what he was to me before it was too late.”

“I’m sure he would have many things to tell you as well, if he could.”

Nie Huaisang took a step forward, then stepped back again.

“Please remove your hat,” he said in a tone that was both an order and a desperate plea.

Lan Xichen obeyed, lifting the hem of his hat and letting it fall behind him. Looking up, he saw emotions openly displayed on Nie Huaisang’s face. Shock first, then fear. Disbelief quickly followed, before he settled for a shining smile and happy tears and he fell to his knees, reaching out for Lan Xichen’s hands and holding them tight.

“Er-ge, I have so much to tell you,” Nie Huaisang sobbed, his smile growing wider.

Lan Xichen could only smile back, too choked up by emotion to say anything, clutching Nie Huaisang’s hands tightly.

Staying alive really wasn’t a bad thing, if he could get second chances like this.

#lan xichen #wen ning #nie huaisang #lan qiren #xisang #mo dao zu shi #mdzs #jau writes #this fic is the precise reason why I decided to challenge myself to write some fluff this december #bc I realise I'd written a lot of intensely sad lxc and maybe it'd be good to balance it out with something lighter

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nillegible · 3 years

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[ @marsdiogenes this one is for you! It’s only a piece of the fic I was trying to write you, but I think I’ve given up on it. I hope you like it! (It’s WangSang-ish?) ]

Zewu Jun always sends Hanguang Jun to Qinghe in his place, unless there’s a Cultivation Conference that necessitates the presence of Sect Leader Lan. And Nie Huaisang does not begrudge his Er-ge for being too much of a coward to return to the place where he had watched his brother die.

(Okay he does, a little. Huaisang still lives here. He still walks down the same corridors that Da-ge had run through, crazed and murderous. He sometimes stands in silence where Ma Ziyuan’s blood had pooled around his crumpled body, one of the several Nie cultivators who had died in da-ge’s rampage, mistaken for Jin Guangyao in Da-ge’s final moments. Huaisang still crosses the courtyard where his Da-ge had. Where he had…

So he does begrudge Er-ge, a little.)

But Lan Wangji comes in his place and truly there’s little difference between the Jades to set one above the other but age, so Hanguang Jun is welcomed with the courtesy owed a Sect Leader whenever he arrives on Lan business. It’s Huaisang’s own fault for knocking on Lan Wangji’s door after curfew, holding jars of wine.

That even the very first time he’d done this, Lan Wangji had just looked at him, really looked at him, then let him inside without protest is depressing. It implies that Nie Huaisang is more unravelled than he realized. But Nie Huaisang is grateful for the company, even if it’s out of pity.

Lan Wangji does not provide much conversation, and he’s not initially the best company, silently sipping his tea while Huaisang drinks his wine. It’s not an apathetic silence though, there’s a shared grief, a shared fury that’s so present that Nie Huaisang should probably bring it cups for its own share of the wine next time.

Maybe it was the wine, maybe it was the loneliness that is barely alleviated by these occasional meetings, maybe Nie Huaisang is just petty enough to want his guest to wallow in the same kind of grief that he is, so Nie Huaisang says, “Jiang-xiong refuses to even speak his name.”

If it works, Huaisang does not know because Lan Wangji’s face doesn’t change.

“Did you love him?” Lan Wangji asks, and Nie Huaisang nearly chokes. It wasn’t like that, it was the Second Jade of Lan that Nie Huaisang and Wei Wuxian had both ogled appreciatively, had crushed on from a distance, and yet.

He doesn’t know if Lan Wangji is so incredibly perceptive, or if he’s so much a fool that he cannot imagine anyone not being in love with Wei Wuxian.

Nie Huaisang remembers laughing grey eyes on a boy who was more alive than anyone else he had ever known, who would bring emperor’s smile into the Cloud Recesses defiantly, and spend the whole time he was drunk talking about a certain unsmiling Lan while Nie Huaisang giggled.

Yes, of course I loved him, he could say. Was it possible to meet him and not fall halfway in love?

No, he could say. If I loved him, I’d be broken like you.

Nie Huaisang regrets many things, but not checking in with his friends Jiang Wanyin and Wei Wuxian after the war is one of his greatest.

He doesn’t answer for the longest time, cannot, because Lan Wangji does not like lies, and Nie Huaisang does not know the truth himself. He takes another sip of wine.

“To watch with your own eyes your beloved be trampled and ridiculed, yet be unable to do anything,” Nie Huaisang recites instead. He knows that Lan Wangji knows the line. Nie Huaisang had lent him the books himself. Lan Wangji nods, accepting the not-answer. It’s not Wei Wuxian, but his brother’s dying, broken body that Nie Huaisang thinks of as he closes his eyes against the weight of memory. Of failure.

The soft lips that press against his are an acceptable distraction, though Nie Huaisang makes a poor substitute for Wei Wuxian.

The dead are gone though, and it’s up to them to take what solace they can, from whoever is left alive. Nie Huaisang blinks up at those liquid gold eyes as he’s pulled into Lan Wangji’s lap, reaches up to trace the familiar line of Lan Wangji’s jaw as he leans down for another kiss.

Nie Huaisang is not the man Lan Wangji wants, but he’s the one he gets. Isn’t this love? Nie Huaisang wonders, clinging to the warmth of him. I want you to stay forever, is that not enough?

#mars #wangsang #wangsangxian #i'm sorry wwx is just such a diva #I couldn't leave him out XD

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randomingoftherandomness · 3 years

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What I am hoping for from Winner is King ( 烽火流金)

Okay, so at this point, let’s just be reals here, Word of Honor has kinda set the bar for me in terms of standards to expect from the slew of danmei adaptations this year. Granted, I know that there are some who think the way it was adapted was not up to their standards and that it could have been done better, please don’t bring it on this post because this is not the post for it.

In this post, I’m going to talk about Winner is King (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑

Now, Sha Po Lang, the original novel, is for me one of the best things that I have read in a very long while. As such, I can be rather precious about what I am hoping to see come alive on the show and what I am hoping will be present in the portrayals I see. I know there are some concerns regarding the script and behind the scenes stuff - and they are very valid concerns that I feel too! - and with the recent announcement that instead of 45 episodes, we are only getting 40, I can foresee that there could be some rushed handlings of the very plotty nature of the source material and perhaps a sense that style can trump substance.

But as the actual show isn’t beaming right into our eyeballs just yet, here are some things I am looking forward to seeing in Winner is King and some things that I am crossing my fingers will make the final cut!

Warning for some novel spoilers ahead. I’ll keep it under the read more.

Tagging @zhongwans because I said I would haha...

Things I am looking forward to:

The Changgu dynamic. I think it goes without saying that if the chemistry between your leads is a dud, the show doesn’t need to even pass Go, it can just shuffle itself off the board because it will be dead in the water. The Changgu dynamic has to be nailed; I need to see that self-doubt, that caring for the other but coming at it from the wrong way, that awkwardness that comes with trying to hold back the burden of your love and care because you don’t want to overwhelm the other...

I need Gu Yun to be shamelessly sweet with his words and his coaxing of his Yan Wang from a sulk. I need Changgu saying “I hate you to death, Gu Yun” (pining)

Hu Ge Er. Let me just be clear here, I will cheer when she dies, but I hope that how they handle her characterisation will do her justice. There is no excusing the level of horrible that she is, but I hope that she isn’t written as a single dimension abusive piece of shit. Nuance, is what I am looking for. I need her to be the villain and the reason for Chang Geng.

I. NEED. THE. WOLF. ATTACK. SCENE. OUTSIDE. OF. YANHUI. TOWN. aka The First Time They Meet

There is legit no excuse for them to fuck this up, but the Steampunk elements. I would not know what else to say if they fuck this one thing up that is so integral and basic to the love of this IP. They cannot fuck this up. I am very sure I will join people in rioting if they do.

I need to see my Red Kites, my Heavy and Light Armours, my Dragons... I need to see the steam powered lamps, the iron puppets... I need them to get the Wind Slashers right. I need them to get this world-building right ok? I need to be dropped into this show and just swoon over just how accurate to imagination everything looks. Tencent does have the blessed ability to make very good looking productions, so on this note, I am assured.

I need them to get the human element right; I need to understand why Gu Yun is the way he is, I need to know why the members of the Lin Yuan Pavillion will back Chang Geng and why they won’t. I need to know why Liao Chi would betray the Emperor. I need them to make me feel; I want them to make my heart hurt when Chang Geng’s heart is hurting, I want them to make me cry when Gu Yun is at his lowest and feels like he can’t go on. I want them to make me laugh, I want to feel for Shen Yi and Miss Chen’s awkward courting.

On that note, I hope they get the Shen Yi and Gu Yun dynamic right too! These two are bros ok? Life and death, ride or die, best bros forever and I need, need them to nail just how integral these are to each other and how much they chose each other as family. I need the bickering, I need the protectiveness, I need the banter.

I also need Chang Geng conspiring to marry Shen Yi off quickly so that he can have Gu Yun all to himself lol but lbr here if we can get an ending for this show from Tencent that even breathes the same atmosphere of air as satisfactory I will praise the heavens

The Bone of Impurity. I don’t know to what extent they will cover this or if they would do it the way the book does it, but this being an element that is integral to Chang Geng, I would be surprised if they dropped it entirely. So yeah, I am looking forward to seeing Chang Geng fretting and worrying and getting Bone of Impurity attacks.

Just the way that Gu Yun allows himself to be cared for my Chang Geng and how Chang Geng lets Gu Yun care for him

I want one acupuncture hedgehog scene please and thank you

I do want to see how they handle Chang Geng and his elder half-brother; how that dynamic unfolds will be something to pay some attention to, I think

Oh! That moment when Chang Geng kneels down in front of his brother and tells him to please bury any talk of his marriage and revealing to his brother the scars that he carries from his time living under Hu Ge Er’s roof (this is one brand of Whump that I promise you will hurt you very badly and it will be very good)

The argument at Jiangnan is something I really think will also make the final cut. It wouldn’t make sense to drop it seeing as this is a pivotal shift in their relationship where Chang Geng is finally holding his ground and not bending over backwards and believing everything his Yi Fu says. And this was the catalyst for their four year separation so yeah. I hope they do this justice.

I am not a betting person, but I high key bet that the scene between Gu Yun and the previous Emperor where he tells the man, “If you go, then I won’t have anyone left” and this being the moment that softens the dying fucker’s heart enough to give him a bracelet of beads that will be a major plot point towards the end

THE. BATTLE. SCENES.

Things I am hoping will happen:

At this point, speculation is that the point that tripped Winner Is King up for a recheck was the politics. This year is the 100th anniversary of the founding of the Communist Party in China and rumour has it that shit be sieving thick and so a lot of shows are erring on the side of caution.

Politics is the highest likelihood of a recheck but I am hoping that it won’t be dumbed down or watered down too much because the politics and the way things played out in the book was absolutely divine and I really want to see that court intrigue and scheming and interplay unfold.

I’ve mentioned in my most recent podcast episode that I am banking on this show to scratch my itch for a Nirvana in Fire level of plottiness and infinite craftiness of the characters and I am crossing all fingers and toes for that to happen because All! The! Characters! Hold! Their! Own! And I need to see that play out please I am not asking for much...

The final sea battle with the Pope. I wouldn’t even know where they would even begin to shoot that scene but this is something I would love to see happen.

The Bone of Impurity attack after Gu Yun sneakily left the capital. That was the scene that caught me and hooked, lined and sinkered me for Chang Geng as a character. Listening to this scene be brought to life in the audio drama has really hammered it home that if they make this bit into the show, I will watch and weep if it is done right.

Cao Niangzi being Cao Niangzi. I am thinking it might not happen the way I want, but I just need them to get them right.

Ge Chen peeing on the enemy’s face. Please. I laughed so hard. I need this. It will be a balm to my soul.

Please, I need Gu Yun’s soul crushing flute playing like I need Gong Jun to always be absolutely horrible at singing because baby this is your niche and this is your charm own it work it

I also need Gu Yun stealing a bamboo flute from a 10 year old because he got jealous please and thank you

Any flashback of Chang Geng and Hu Ge Er before Yanhui Town

I want to see that moment that Gu Yun hears first hand from someone who had knowledge of what Hu Ge Er would do to a baby Chang Geng and the horrible abuse she inflicted on him, because up to that point, he only knew that something went on, but never to the extent that revelation wrought unto him

Any of the Bone of Impurity moments; any mention of it, any visual representation of it... Gosh, just the idea of having the Bone of Impurity made visual is just... Ugh. Yes. Please. The suffering.

[bonus] Things I wish will happen but will probably not:

The hot spring scene or a version of it

An implication that baby cannibalism was involved in the making of a Bone of Impurity

The scene where they get to the goddess doll (the description of it in the book was so bone chilling and if they do this I will have nightmares, I’m just warning you)

I really, really want a scene where, after being crowned Emperor, Chang Geng goes to the frontlines to reclaim the South and upon hearing that he was there, Gu Yun immediately panicked like he was about to be caught with his pants down doing something illegal when all he did was ordered his subordinates to keep news of his injuries from being reported back to the capital

Any flashback of Chang Geng and Hu Ge Er before Yanhui Town; especially when they were with the Barbarians

I want to see some version of Hu Ge Er realising what she has done to her own child and to Chang Geng

Okay this got super long but what are you guys looking forward to seeing when Winner is King hits our screens? I’m looking forward to creating content for this fandom when it hits ೕ(˃̵ᴗ˂̵ ๑) In the meantime, sound off on what you’re expecting and what you’re maybe wary about!

#winner is king #feng huo liu jin #烽火流金 #gab to watch #changgu #chang geng #gu yun #tencent #cdrama #sha po lang #杀破狼

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xiyao-feels · 3 years

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@hqfeels

Oh man, as someone who loves 3zun, and thinks the mess of intertwining relationships is what makes it interesting, I really should not have read this post - while I think you make some interesting points for a different interpretation of the Nielan relationship, I would also caution against basing your interpretation so closely to the words of what is a translation

e.g. when you discuss LXC not framing things in terms of the sworn brother relationship, you point to the use of “one of his sworn brothers” vs “my” or “our” - chinese doesn’t always use pronouns, so it could very well be the translator having to fill in

I make note of this, not as a nitpick, but bc I think it goes to the heart of the framing of the relationship. Because I think Xiyao is fundamentally framed within the 3zun context - after all, what does JGY call LXC to show they’re close? Er-ge. “2”, not just Ge. NMJ, as Da-ge eternally haunts their relationship. The point of rejection from LXC? You don’t have to call me Er-ge anymore.

So, hey! I appreciate that you said you shouldn't have read my post, but I thought your points were worth addressing, and since you left comments in the notes I figured it was reasonable to respond. If you don't want to read this post, I completely understand, and I've left a bunch of empty lines after this paragraph so you don't have to read it if you don't want to.

The point about relying too heavily on exact shades of meaning is definitely a good one. Reading over my post, however, I think there are only three places where I do that; the point identified, later for one point in my discussion of QHJ's teacher, and actually later in the temple when I talk about the "sob" of Liebing as some evidence for LXC's grief for NMJ.

I think it's worth asking: how much does any one of these points contribute to the argument? They're definitely not irrelevant, or I wouldn't have pointed them out, but even so there's only so much wiggle room. No matter what pronouns he uses, for example, LXC only spends one clause of that speech directly on JGY killing NMJ, and it's in the context of, well, a general lack of reaction of personal grief. If—not even if he actually said 'our sworn brother' or 'my sworn brother,' I do think that would be some evidence of personal betrayal, even if it has to be considered in light of the rest of his reactions and non-reactions. But if, in the original text, the Chinese simply didn't specify the pronouns such that "his" is the translator's best guess—I just don't see that as a serious blow to the argument, given the consistency of the pattern as a whole, and I think it's kind of cherry-picking to suggest that it is.

Second, I don't think the pronoun there is ambiguous as is suggested. Consider the phrasing; it's not just "his sworn brother," it's "one of his sworn brothers." Supposing that "his" wasn't present in the original text. "One of my sworn brothers"? "One of our sworn brothers"? Neither really makes sense. Of course, perhaps they might make more sense in Chinese; but that's a little further than "what if the translator had to pick a pronoun."

Now, I think the above points are worth considering on their own merits, which is why I brought them up first. However, I have to say: I did, actually, check the Chinese, for the "one of his sworn brothers" and indeed in multiple places. I didn't mention it in the post for the same reason I usually try not to rely on it in my posts: because I feel like I'd end up setting myself up as some kind of authority when I'm very much not, and because I'm frequently fairly confused XP I have, what, one term of Mandarin, some amount of self-study, and Pleco installed on my phone. But I do often look at the original text and try to work things out, and sometimes I learn stuff that's been lost in translation, and often I can go well, my best guess aligns with the translation. If you want to confirm for yourself, and I encourage you to do so!!, then you can look at the text here: https://www.kunnu.com/modaozushi/. It's in chapter 64.

This is the clause about JGY killing one of his sworn brothers: 他设计杀害了自己的一位义兄 ("that he planned to kill one of his sworn brothers"). The pronoun before "one of his sworn brothers" is 自己, which is a pronoun referring to the subject of the sentence—in this case 他, he, JGY. Now, could I be wrong? Of course! Should anyone rely on uncited statements from a total stranger? No! I strongly encourage people to check this out for themselves, and if someone who actually does speak Chinese wants to offer some guidance I'd be very grateful. But given that it matched the translation from people who do actually speak both Chinese and English, it seemed enough to allow me to rely on the translation.

On that note, actually, I'll admit I missed a trick. "我父亲的一位恩师", one of my father's teachers—"teacher" there is 恩师, which Pleco gives me as "mentor; one's kind and respected master (or teacher)." So it does have more of an emotional edge, and I'll edit the post to acknowledge this. Even so, I think it's worth remembering both that it's one word, he's not adding lots of adjectives about the teacher, and most importantly that the teacher simply isn't lingered on. The effects of his mother killing the teacher, yes, and the contrast between his memories of his mother and the fact that she did kill his father's teacher...but the teacher himself is just not dwelled on.

(For completion's sake, the "sob" of Liebing in ch 107 is "呜咽", which Pleco gives as 1) sob, whimper 2) (of water, wind, stringed instrument, etc) weep; wail; lament; mourn.)

But again, quibbling over phrasing is to some extent a distraction. The important thing is not so much any one incident as the pattern they form, considered together; this is why my original post was so long, because I was trying to consider the overall pattern, and I think the comment about framing is pointing at the same thing. So it's worth asking: are xi//yao framed in terms of the 3//zun relationship?

In fact, I think this divides into two questions. First: does the text frame xi//yao in terms of the 3//zun relationship? And second: do xi//yao understand their relationship fundamentally in terms of the 3//zun relationship? I think you could make more of an argument on the first one, or at least, xi//yao and NMJ are part of their own narrative in the text and often show up together. But in terms of the actual relationship, it's the second question I'm interested in here, and I think the answer is very much no.

First of all, a note on timelines. In MDZS, LXC and JGY knew each other for about seventeen years; they were sworn brothers with NMJ for about four. To put this another way, they were sworn brothers with NMJ for less than a quarter of their overall time together. Moreover, they had significant time without NMJ before they all became sworn brothers, as well as after his death. Now, much of their relationship is revealed to us through Empathy, which necessarily limits us to when NMJ was alive, and moreover shows us only those of their moments together that he happens to see, so it's understandable that these years dominate our view, but I do think it's important to remember.

Okay, now let's consider what we see of their relationship. Given how much of it we see through NMJ's eyes, it's in fact remarkable how much it isn't about him. In the first conversation we see them have together, LXC is proposing that MY stop being NMJ's deputy and go serve his father in Langya (though only after confirming that's still what MY wants, note—and which he knows MY had wanted because MY literally told him!). When MY says he does want it but he owes NMJ, LXC says he thinks NMJ will understand but volunteers to talk with NMJ himself if he doesn't. Neither of them have told NMJ they know each other; after NMJ comes in, when he seeks to find out how they do, asking LXC and then ordering MY to speak after LXC refuses, they don't tell him. I'm not saying either of them are unhappy with NMJ here—quite the contrary!—but there's no sign they see the other, or their relationship with each other, fundamentally in terms of him. (For a close reading of the scene, as ever, I recommend confusion-and-more's post here.)

Furthermore, in MDZS, after MY flees from NMJ in Langya and becomes a spy, he starts sending LXC letters with information, and LXC works out who it is. As with pretty much everything we see about them, this suggests a quite astonishing intimacy—that MY was able to trust that LXC would work it out, and that LXC did. Not only did NMJ not know who the spy was, in MDZS he didn't know there was a spy at all—LXC concealed it from him entirely. Now, this is obviously very solid practice for spies, but again—you have xiyao together, and NMJ apart. (I'll also note that in MDZS LXC is exchanging blows with NMJ sword to saber until the very end of the post-Sun Palace confrontation, even after MY steps forward; he definitely does not seem to think that NMJ has any sort of right, here.)

At the Phoenix Mountain Hunt, we see them together but, again, not with NMJ, and there's no suggestion that LXC had socialized with him particularly—JGY is aware of how much prey he's taken, but of course JGY is running the hunt. Then when they both go off at the end of the scene to expand the hunting grounds, LXC asks LWJ if he'd like to help, but there's zero suggestion that they're going to seek out NMJ, even though he's part of the reason JGY needs to expand the hunting grounds.

In chapter 73, LXC and JGY are talking after the conference. Then NMJ comes over and comments disapprovingly about JGY. Again, LXC doesn't actually speak a single word after NMJ joins them. This... really does not suggest perceiving him and JGY as fundamentally part of that triad, imho.

The guqin scene: LXC and JGY are very much focused on each other. Only LXC talks with NMJ at all, and only once, briefly, answering his objection. NMJ is described as looking up before his objection, which suggests to me that he/wasn't/ looking up before. Meanwhile LXC and JGY are complimenting each other's playing, LXC is offering to teach him exclusive teachings, and JGY is telling LXC about his mother. You could reasonably say LXC teaching JGY the Song of Clarity is or is partly about NMJ—his desire again for them to reconcile—but in their interactions they are focused on each other to an almost absurd extent, and not NMJ.

The discussion conference mentioned in chapter 30? We're told NMJ wasn't originally planning to go; it seems likely that we would have been told if the same was true of LXC, given that LWJ is the one telling us about it. So, again, we have JGY and LXC together, and NMJ only coming in for outside reasons.

At the beginning of the stairs conflict, when NMJ comes in and calls JGY out, we see that JGY and LXC are discussing something, with "notes of all colours" on the desk before them. WWX is later going to realize they're discussing the watchtowers, which even now, well before he's Jin-zongzhu, JGY is trying to convince his father to build; there's no sign, on the other hand, that NMJ even knows what they're working on.

Their last interaction before NMJ's death /is/ about NMJ, with JGY very upset and LXC defending the idea that NMJ hasn't rejected JGY completely. But again this doesn't suggest that they view their relationship fundamentally in terms of their relationship with NMJ, and as we've seen it's not what they're usually talking about.

I talk here about two patterns of 3//zun interaction in the Empathy chapters: broadly, MY/JGY and LXC talking privately and NMJ coming and interrupting them, and NMJ attacking MY/JGY, and LXC intervening.

Looking over their interactions, the text does not, to me, suggest that LXC and JGYview their relationship fundamentally in terms of NMJ or of 3//zun.

And again—LXC doesn't bring up NMJ in the temple, and he only reacts to NMJ-as-NMJ three brief times.

Now, it is of course true that JGY calls LXC er-ge as a sign of closeness, and that he's 'er-ge' because NMJ is the first brother. However, a few points.

First, I would argue that it's a recurring theme in MDZS (and /especially/ for JGY) that the form of a relationship doesn't necessarily match what the relationship actually is; the form, therefore, might be an interesting point to consider, but it must be considered in light of the evidence we have about their actual relationship.

Second, JGY calls LXC er-ge a full thirteen times in the temple chapters. Once in chapter 99, when he's responding to LXC about JL; twice in chapter 100, discussing NHS; in chapter 105, three times leading up to his explanation of the letter; six full times when answering LXC's questions in chapter 106; and then once in chapter 108 when he is literally asking LXC for protection from NMJ's fierce corpse.

Once and only once, on the last er-ge in chapter 105, does LXC respond to being called er-ge, though we're told he did so earlier off-page. And—well, look at the paragraph:

His tone was more than earnest. Ever since he captured Lan XiChen, he’d indeed been treating him with respect. At this point, Lan XiChen wasn’t able to turn against him yet. He could only sigh, “Sect Leader Jin, I have already said, when you went your own way to scheme such havoc at Burial Mound, that there was no longer the need to call me ‘Brother.’”

This is not only not framed as an essential rejection, it's framed as explicitly /not/ that: "Lan XiChen wasn't able to turn against him yet." And again, as I pointed out in my post, we're explicitly given a reason for it that has absolutely nothing to do with NMJ! 'Don't call me er-ge because you killed da-ge' would be very natural; the fact that it's explicitly not about that suggests strongly to me that they simply don't think of 'er-ge' in terms of its relation to NMJ, despite the form.

#ship negativity cw #that damn bingo post #a gentle warmth filling the deepest of needs #profound philosophical differences #we can't change places #anger burned in his heart #the best of men #more than one tag could contain #long meta

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hamaon · 3 years

Text

audio drama natterings

- i love hearing this voice-acted jin guangyao because there is often NO correlation between his tone of voice, actions, and intentions. he can be saying one thing and doing another and you just need to do the math, with the benefit of hindsight, to figure out what third thing he was actually thinking at the time

there are also many times he is just being genuine, but picking those up probably needs, again, the benefit of hindsight

- su minshan has an amazing voice. whiny nasal baby, i love him

- no comment on the audio drama actor, but there were some clips with interviews with the voice actors from the animation included in the files, and holy shit, lan xichen. a voice to make love to

- yi city is an interesting self-contained tragedy, but it’s slim enough that i doubt that there is any alternate reality where that’s the part of the story that caught my particular attention. but still, if that had happened, most likely i would have hatched into a xiao xingchen fan

- nie deputy meng yao singing a distressed abandoned baby to sleep before continuing to sort out a battlefield, is there anything this man can’t do

i’m losing my mind over this a little to be perfectly honest, there was never any doubt in my mind that “gentle dad” is one of jin guangyao’s most dominant personality traits, but to have it validated so

- meng yao finally, after years and years of abuse and dead ends, decides to take matters into his own hands, hard work isn’t getting him anywhere, and nie fucking mingjue, who lives several realms away, just happens to walk in on him the one time he kills a man for personal gain

what were the ODDS

i’m also trying to figure out the logistics of this:

like. how. i guess no one had quite as much faith in jin guangyao’s abilities as nie mingjue

(also love how in the audio drama meng yao just keeps getting shit from every direction, so it’s absolutely not a question of whether he’s just exaggerating how bad it is for him 24/7)

this is the drop in the relationship. up to this point nie mingjue has been one of the only people who don’t (seem to) care about his background, but this is where his own version of meng yao starts overwriting reality. the moment there’s a crack in the presentation, it’s over for good.

he still appears very considerate (and in his own mind he is definitely being extremely reasonable! for nie mingjue he IS being extremely reasonable!) about meng yao’s incoming punishment and will leave it to the jin, but meng yao’s own estimation of his situation is that he will be executed.

dude relax, he didn’t even hurt you.

it’s an interesting pattern though, jin guangyao’s primary motivation is almost never harming others, and he often goes out of his way to avoid it, too. this is the first time he could have killed nie mingjue easily, made it look like an attack from the wen like he was doing with the jin guy.

fun contrast with the temple, where things are looking dire until you start unpacking what’s actually going on

- one of nie mingjue’s most dominant personality traits is concerning himself with the quality of character of people who are not him

- it is very commendable of nie mingjue to not let corrupt people in charge keep getting away with this shit, and to continue hounding the jin about xue yang. the eternal question, though: why is he taking this up with jin guangyao instead of someone who, you know, is in charge

- lan xichen really, really, really wanting to be sworn brothers, c’mon mingjue-xiong aren’t you ready to be nicer to a-yao, please please please, and now that we’ve all agreed to it and don’t need an auspicious date, we can do it the first thing tomorrow (almost literally what he says)

- lan xichen fucks on the first date and gets married on the second

then stays married to that person for fifty years, perfectly monogamous

(- one of lan xichen’s most dominant personality traits is being the teacher you can actually talk to)

- i like how nie mingjue’s attitude toward jin guangyao varies even when their relationship is at its tensest point, he can be civil and almost light-hearted with him and then soon enough take a swing at him, it’s... uncomfortably realistic, honestly.

- corrupted cleansing, very good here also. rip nie mingjue before your time but it’s just a nice tune. though here the quality is partially improved by the fact that it actually sounds like the original cleansing, just a little off sideways

- the paperman extra, i’m in awe. jin guangyao has noticed lan xichen isn’t feeling too good, distracts nie huaisang (who is getting a lecture) from bothering er-ge and gets him to lavish er-ge’s paintings with praise instead. wow.

- there’s something sadly poetic about lan xichen being stressed mostly because of jin guangyao, who is also the one who notices and immediately starts working on alleviating that discomfort

- things jin guangyao feeds lan xichen: only the best perfectly selected tea for the lan, let’s try it wangji. his favorite fruits, already waiting for him inside. that peppy tone of voice when they meet in the present day for the first time. imagine being the man someone of jin guangyao’s caliber of caregiving gives his full devotion to. zewu-jun luckiest motherfucker in the world. (he deserves it)

- lan xichen getting that laser-focused intimate care his family is completely unable to provide

- the cl- the clothes washing extra. i genuinely think lan xichen is just inexperienced, if it was just lol lan muscle he couldn’t interact with the world without destroying everything around himself. he shows signs of being interested to learn. let him hone his house spouse skills. he deserves it

- i thought i was desensitized to this backstory, but the brothel flashback actually made me cry, what the hell

- scenarios where meng shi who has any choice chooses the same profession make me uncomfortable. this is a woman suffering in sex slavery who was destroyed and killed by it, and she always wanted out. for positive representation, how about sisi instead. or literally anyone else

- it’s almost funny looking at the temple scenes in hindsight, because. the sound direction, the sense of threat. and what is implied to be the source of that threat? the question of what jin guangyao is going to do, how dangerous is that thing he is digging for, what will he use it for

and the answers are: he was running away, it was his mom’s corpse he wanted to take with him because he adored her even when the rest of the world thought she was garbage. also, no one was ever in any danger besides jin guangyao himself and his sect and allies.

i will fight people about this btw, everyone comes out of the temple as unharmed as they were always intended to be. he has ample opportunities to kill every single one of them and he never acts in a way that shows he has the slightest inclination to actually do so. he threatens people into behaving and then tries to leave. and in every adaptation so far when he is leaving he's going to leave the captives behind, untouched.

#tägäämätön

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folderolsfollies · 3 years

Text

Sangyao Arranged Marriage.... III

[Part 1] [Part 2]

Word Count: 2.7k Rating: T Warnings: None to date (Besides discussion of canon events)

Nie Huaisang idly notes that it had taken three servants blanching and running through the halls of the Jinlintai at the sight of him freely wandering through its gilded passageways before he’s caught. He tears his gaze away from a beautiful and entirely inaccurate mural commemorating Jin victories during the Sunshot campaign. There’s Jin Zixuan and Jin Zixun in front of him, pieced out in larger-than-life gold. Jin Guangyao, the hero of the Sunshot campaign, is absent from the scene.

He fully turns when he recognizes a quiet but unmistakable pair of footsteps. Jin Guangyao, alone, moves with a leopard’s prowling grace.

“San-ge, thank god you’re here! I got so lost…” he lies hurriedly before Jin Guangyao can say anything, clasping onto his arm. This close, the warm, spicy smell of cloves curls towards him. “Oh! You smell nice,” he says, entranced into losing his train of thought, and leans forward, to where the scent is deepened by the heat radiating out from Jin Guangyao’s jugular. “Have you remembered my trick with the incense?” he says, remembering frozen nights in Qinghe carefully draping his long sleeves over the incense burners. At the time, Meng Yao had kept his sleeves sensibly bound to the wrist, but Nie Huaisang had noticed the hungry way that he had stilled to watch all these invisible tricks of the gentry from out of the corner of his eyes, even back then. It had been the first time anybody had wanted to imitate Nie Huaisang. It had been the first time Nie Huaisang had felt the urge to impress someone, stirring new and strange within him.

“I will always remember your kindnesses, Nie Huaisang,” Jin Guangyao replies in the present, polite to a fault, and admirably suppressing his clear desire to ask what exactly Nie Huaisang is doing in Koi Tower. His San-ge, always so thoughtful! “The Jinlintai welcomes you.”

Nie Huaisang finally remembers his twice-stated promise, and, releasing his arm, darts backwards from him like a startled fawn.

“Jin-er-gongzi, thank you for the hospitality,” he says formally, and bows as deeply and as properly as any Lan.

Strong hands catch him from beneath the elbows before the arc of his bow is complete, and he’s hauled back into a standing position. They stand there for a long moment, with Jin Guangyao’s hands wrapped tight around his forearms, and Nie Huaisang’s hands gently draped on his arms. For a moment, Jin Guangyao’s face is startled into openness, as he looks at Huaisang with his large deer-soft eyes, and Huaisang looks back at him.

There’s a lock of Nie Huaisang’s hair, braided for the dust of summer travel, curling around Jin Guangyao’s sleeve and tickling his wrist. Jin Guangyao swiftly tucks it behind Nie Huaisang’s ear, his thin, cold thumb briefly brushing over Huaisang’s cheekbone. His fingers flex against Nie Huaisang’s scalp, briefly, before he releases him, and Huaisang beats down the brief impulse to envelop those cold hands in his own warm ones.

“Let’s go to my office,” Jin Guangyao finally says, and smiles, a small, reflexive thing.

The room Jin Guangyao brings them to is bright and well appointed, and utterly impersonal. There are no decorations. It is the office of a bureaucrat. It is the office of someone who can leave it at any time. Nie Huaisang, kneeling across from Jin Guangyao at his plain desk, feels suddenly desolate at the idea of bright Jin Guangyao entombed in this dingy room. Even in Qinghe, stark as it was, Meng Yao’s office had a few scattered effects, even if it was mostly scraps given by Nie Huaisang. Huaisang wants to give him something beautiful, something that would chisel him into the very walls.

He’s been silent too long. “San-ge, if I get you a fan, would you hang it there?” Nie Huaisang says, pointing randomly at an alcove in the corner. He’s sure to make the words sound artless, casual. Nie Huaisang knows enough to spare Jin Guangyao the sensation of pity.

It must work well enough, because Jin Guangyao says indulgently, “Of course, Huaisang.”

“Don’t just agree with me! What if it’s awful?” Nie Huaisang says.

“I doubt you would ever choose anything that was not in exquisite taste,” Jin Guangyao demurs.

For some reason, at that, Nie Huaisang flops on his elbows and sighs heavily. He thinks he sees Jin Guangyao’s lips twitch up briefly from the corner of his eyes, but when he darts a glance up at him his face is smoothed into placidity once more.

A servant comes in, bearing a tray laden with the dainty little walnut cakes Nie Huaisang favors, placing them on the table to Jin Guangyao’s polite murmur of thanks.

When she leaves, Nie Huaisang leans in, hiding them both under his fan. “Ah, San-ge, what was her name?” he asks.

“Tang Zhu,” Jin Guangyao says in response, and doesn’t ask why Nie Huaisang was curious, sparing Nie Huaisang from having to answer that he simply wanted to see how quickly he would answer, plucking facts out of his well-ordered brain. Sometimes Nie Huaisang’s thoughts spin out from him, wild and untethered and frightening; at those times, Jin Guangyao’s straight-pathed mind settles something deep within him.

When Meng Yao had first entered the Unclean Realm, there had been a long stretch of months when Nie Huaisang had been anxious and sulky about this new addition to Qinghe’s roster, the slight figure at his brother’s right side who carried no saber and who had nevertheless earned such a large portion of his brother’s respect. It had lasted until the day Huaisang had trailed him silently through the secret passageways of the realm to see him pinching off crumbs of bread for one of the stray cats that jostled around the gates. He had felt an affection tinged with the bloody edge of loneliness. He’s like me, he had thought. He could be like me.

He had looked at him then. Jin Guangyao, only two years older than Huaisang, had seemed to have a steady presence that burned brightly within him, outshining any golden core. And Nie Huaisang never really stopped looking at him.

He spreads his fan in front of his face. He has a sudden hope that Meng Yao remembers how they’d use his fan as a silent method of communication with each other back in Qinghe, the way a brisk tap meant rescue me, a shift from hand to hand meaning, watch out! Da-ge coming. When he twists his wrist he thinks with each flutter: trust me, trust me, trust me. “Jin-er-gongzi, how are you settling in?”

Jin Guangyao looks trapped between exasperation and banked amusement, and Nie Huaisang feels such a rush of nostalgic affection that it makes his teeth hurt. “It would be best if you do not refer to me as such in Koi Tower,” he says instead of replying, lightly scolding. “Our positions are dissimilar.”

Nie Huaisang tilts his head unhappily, but smiles to cover it. “Then you’ll be my San-ge. What would you like to do while I’m in here distracting you?”

“I’d like to do my work , Huaisang,” Jin Guangyao says, pointedly, picking up a sheaf of papers on the table.

It gives him pause. In Qinghe, Meng Yao was as familiar to him as the downbeat of his own heart; Jin Guangyao in his Lanling gold has new expressions he doesn’t know how to read. Has he been presuming too much on a friendship grown stale through time? He doesn’t know. He has to know.

“Then forgive me for encroaching on your time, San-ge,” he says, penitently. He may have pulled the words from a drama. “I can see myself out.” He stirs to leave.

“Huaisang,” Jin Guangyao says, and stops. Hope blooms in Nie Huaisang’s chest like a rose, flowered but barbed. Jin Guangyao’s lies are quick and fluent, easy to surface. Deliberation means he’s close to the truth. His smile is a little sad at the edges. “I can spare some time,” is what he settles on. “What brings you to Lanling?”

“Mostly, just avoiding Da-ge,” Nie Huaisang says, shamelessly. He feels giddy, pricked all over with excitement at the familiar cadence of the conversation. “He’s been after me to keep to a training schedule.”

“He only worries for you, you know that,” Jin Guangyao says patiently.

“Ah, I know, I know that,” Nie Huaisang says, “but this is peacetime! Surely the point of the war was to actually enjoy the rewards of peace.”

“Sometimes leadership demands sacrifice, even if it is peacetime, Huaisang,” says Jin Guangyao, offhandedly. Nie Huaisang puts his fan on the table.

Are you happy? He thinks. But then again, when he knew him best, Jin Guangyao was many things, and happy wasn’t necessarily one of them. When he thinks that he feels such a melting tenderness towards his old friend he has to hold his own hands.

“You always work very hard,” Nie Huaisang agrees. “But San-ge, shouldn’t you enjoy some of the rewards of peace too?”

“Nie Huaisang, you are not subtle,” Jin Guangyao chides, but his smile has turned more fond.

Caught out, Nie Huaisang grins back at him. “I’ve badgered Da-ge into finally letting me host a yaji for the next full moon, you should come, if you can make the time.”

“If I can make the time,” Jin Guangyao echoes neutrally.

“San-ge,” Nie Huaisang, pouting, “I’ll even sweeten the pot; should I invite someone for you?” Jin Guangyao will suggest Lan Xichen, who will be a good buffer between Da-ge and San-ge; he waits for confirmation.

Jin Guangyao looks down at his papers. “It would be a good opportunity to strengthen your relationship with some of the tributary sects. Some of the smaller sects produce fine artisans, like Laoling or Dingtao,” he says, neutrally.

Nie Huaisang tosses his hair back in exasperation. Jin Guangyao looks up again, tracing the arc of its movement. “You know that’s not what I meant, San-ge - wait, since when does Laoling produce artisans?” Laoling, a minor city kissing Lanling’s borders, produces golden maize in the summer, sticky purple jujubes in winter; it does not, to Nie Huaisang’s knowledge, produce any scholars of the Great Arts. Jin Guangyao’s smile freezes; Nie Huaisang feels triumphant. “You’ve been holding out on me, San-ge! Who’s in Laoling?”

Jin Guangyao ducks his head, affecting a modesty Nie Huaisang is sure is feigned: “Lord Qin’s eldest daughter. Now that my brother’s engagement is secure, it’s time to start thinking about my own marital duties.”

“You wish to marry... Qin Su?” Nie Huaisang asks, astonished. Qin Su is sweet, Qin Su is pretty, in a delicate fashion, and Qin Su has a winsome manner that would, Nie Huaisang imagines, make a person who cares for such things want to sweep her up in their arms. Nie Huaisang would rather be swept up, but he is not blind to the appeal.

“She is a generous and loving woman, and she would make anyone a fine wife.” says Jin Guangyao, and there is an admonishment cloaked in his even tone. There’s Jin Guangyao’s protective streak again, and it sends warmth into Nie Huaisang’s chest even as it feels odd, to hear it directed on the behalf of someone else.

“No, I know that,” says Nie Huaisang, so blankly that it seems to mollify Jin Guangyao. “But I had thought… Zewu-Jun…” he trails off, suddenly aware that he is shown more of his hand than he had planned, but helpless against the rush of curiosity. Zewu-Jun is the top cultivator of the cultivation world, the pride of Gusu Lan. Nie Huaisang could never possibly strive to his heights - it exhausts him thinking of trying.

That would be the caliber of a suitor that he would find for Jin Guangyao. That was the caliber of a suitor he had thought he had found for Jin Guangyao.

Jin Guangyao’s eyes glint, and for a second Nie Huaisang is pinned under a piercing gaze. Jin Guangyao has not looked at him like that for a long time, and there is a small, hungry part of Nie Huaisang that would take the anger, if it means having the honesty. “You should be careful about what you think, and who you tell your thoughts to,” Jin Guangyao says. There you are, Nie Huaisang thinks.

Nie Huaisang makes his mouth twist. “Ah, I’ve upset you,” he says mournfully, “I only want you to be happy.” Jin Guangyao doesn’t smile, precisely, but his gaze softens slightly.

“I’m sure you do,” he says.

But something within Nie Huaisang thrums like a badly plucked qin. So that’s the type he likes, he thinks, without knowing why. Agitated, he taps blindly at his wrist with his fan. It’s then when he realizes that to many, a betrothal to Jin Guangyao would be seen as an insult. It feels like a betrayal to remember, but a greater betrayal to have forgotten.

(Once, Da-ge and him had overheard a chef say “What a pretty child the young master is, too bad about the mother.” Da-ge had her thrown out the next day.)

“I’ll set aside your usual room, Huaisang,” Jin Guangyao says, in lieu of asking how long Nie Huaisang is planning on staying, which is rather deft of him. Nie Huaisang squirrels the phrasing away for safekeeping and raises his hands placatingly.

“Ah, no need, no need, San-ge, I just stopped by to say hello before proceeding to Lanling! Between the two of us, it’s a little difficult going shopping in Qinghe, everybody knows Da-ge there,” he says, knowing that his face is steadily turning more flushed and batting cool air at his face with his fan.

Jin Guangyao’s face is as smooth and impassive as a creamy block of white jade. “And what would Nie-er-gongzi need in Lanling that you wouldn’t want your brother to know that you’re buying?” He tilts his head, smiling as serenely as ever.

Nie Huaisang squirms and points at him with his fan accusingly. “Ah, you’re teasing me! That’s so unfair, nobody would ever believe me if I tell them that you have a sense of humor.” He wrinkles his nose against the laughter that threatens to bubble out of him. Decorum, Huaisang.

Jin Guangyao raises his eyebrows. The dimples deepen. “And who would you plan on telling?”

Nie Huaisang grins back at him. “You know I can’t tell anyone, you’re the only person I can actually gossip with.”

“I don’t indulge in gossip, Huaisang,” Jin Guangyao says primly, which is an obvious lie, and has been since the day Nie Huaisang had first met him. “It’s frivolous, and detrimental to the spirit.”

“But San-ge, I’m very frivolous,” Nie Huaisang points out. “Spare a thought for us lost causes.”

“You’re not a lost cause,” Jin Guangyao says, and for a moment he looks almost angry, the raw emotion rippling across his features the way a shark fin breaches water. He calms, and smiles placatingly. “You’ve been raised to this, you and your brother both.”

Jin Guangyao lies. Huaisang knows this. But sometimes, he lies to craft the world into a better shape than it is.

Nie Huaisang smiles at him. “I’ll invite the Qin family at the end of the month; I want to help you.”

He watches Jin Guangyao come to a decision. “You’d be putting me in your debt,” he says, as if doubtful.

Nie Huaisang thrills. “No debts between us, San-ge, we’re brothers!” he says, full of innocence, and watches Jin Guangyao relax in increments - softening his brow, the corners of his eyes, the rigid line of his shoulders entombed in layers and layers of fine silk. That’s never been true, but what would the thoughtless Second Young Master know about obligation? The trick with trapping a wild animal is that you can’t let them know that you see them, or it gives the whole game away.

“I have to go now, there’s only so much time before Da-ge figures out I’m not actually at Lotus Pier,” Nie Huaisang explains, with a trace of regret. He places a hand on Jin Guangyao’s slim wrist as he moves to leave, silk and skin nearly indistinguishable to the touch. “But it was good to see you again, Yao-ge.”

Jin Guangyao blinks slowly down at the hand at his wrist, and then upwards at him. “The pleasure was mine entirely, Huaisang.”

#my fic #sangyao #we're back baby

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vespertineflora · 3 years

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Title: in my arms you’re safe and sound

Rating: Teen Summary: Jin Guangyao is a dhampir who is fully turned when his father accepts him into the family--but Jin Guangshan treats him terribly, and when Nie Mingjue begins to realize how far this mistreatment goes, he drags Jin Guangyao off for a conversation which quickly escalates into an emotional shouting match that results in Nie Mingjue deciding that Jin Guangyao needs to be removed from Carp Tower immediately. Lan Xichen finds them just in time for the three sworn brothers to head together back to Qinghe, where Lan Xichen personally discovers one of the many awful things Jin Guangshan has done to hurt Jin Guangyao. (2.9k vampire au!!!, hurt/comfort, blood drinking) I posted this late Sunday night, but wanted to share it here too! It was inspired by a vampire au in the 3zun discord server, this scene hurt my heart so I needed to write it. In this au, the Lan and Jin sects are vampires and the Nie Sect are werewolves. Though this scene is mostly about lxc and jgy, the au was constructed with 3zun in mind. Their sworn brotherhood also gives them all an empathetic bond that gets mentioned once at the beginning of this.\

~~~

Jin Guangyao was only half-conscious by the time they made it back to the Unclean Realm. Maybe it shouldn’t be surprising—Lan Xichen hadn’t gotten the full rundown of whatever argument Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao had had, but he felt the way Jin Guangyao had been hurting himself through their bond in his effort to prove whatever point he’d been making to Nie Mingjue, and when Lan Xichen had managed to find the two of them, both of their faces streaked with tears, their devastation had been so clear , even before Nie Mingjue had given him any details. After such an emotional exchange, it only made sense that Jin Guangyao would be exhausted.

When Nie Mingjue asserted that Jin Guangyao would not be returning to Lanling, that they were heading directly back to Qinghe, Lan Xichen hadn’t argued. He’d been skeptical of Jin Guangyao’s position in Carp Tower since his father had taken him in, he’d known something wasn’t quite right, he’d just trusted that Jin Guangyao would say something if he needed their help...

Lan Xichen cradled Jin Guangyao’s half-limp form close to his chest as he followed Nie Mingjue through the gates, as Nie Mingjue led him back to his own room, and even though Lan Xichen understood why Jin Guangyao would be tired... something still felt wrong. One glance at Jin Guangyao was enough for Lan Xichen to see the hazy look in his eyes, was enough to notice that his pale skin was too pale, nearly colorless, and Lan Xichen wondered sickly how he hadn’t noticed earlier how wrong the color was. Maybe he’d just gotten so used to the warmth in Jin Guangyao’s cheeks before he’d been turned that the lack of color had just always seemed off but... this degree of pallor was wrong, even for a vampire.

Continue Reading on AO3 or below the cut

Nie Mingjue left them in his room to go make arrangements for their unexpected permanent resident, and Lan Xichen took a seat on the edge of the bed. He let Jin Guangyao settle in his lap because he found himself quite unwilling to let go of him just yet, couldn’t quite bear the idea of lying him down in bed and leaving him alone when Jin Guangyao looked so small and tired, when he clearly still needed him.

“A-Yao,” Lan Xichen spoke softly, watching Jin Guangyao’s eyes... the sound of his name brought a bit of clarity to them, but not much, and Lan Xichen bit his lip worriedly, dreading the answer to a question he had to force himself to ask. “Are you hungry? How long has it been since you’ve fed?”

Jin Guangyao’s frowned, his brow furrowed in thought - immediately, Lan Xichen felt his stomach churn, hoping that Jin Guangyao was only thinking because he was trying to be exact and he couldn’t remember what time his meal earlier that evening was - and he seemed to struggle with both the mental timeline and the words when he finally tried to speak, “I... I don’t... remember, I... maybe five? Five or six...”

He trailed off, and Lan Xichen prompted, “Five or six hours ago?”

“No,” Jin Guangyao replied, shaking his head vaguely, “D-days. Five or six days.”

Lan Xichen felt his chest tightening as anguish flooded his thoughts. Five or six days? Jin Guangyao was... He’d only been turned a few months ago, he was still young, by every definition still a fledgling. He should be feeding a little every few hours or at least once a day, not once a week. He wasn’t strong enough yet to go so long without eating, no wonder he looked so awful, no wonder he was on the verge of passing out.

“A-Yao, why haven’t you been feeding?” Lan Xichen asked worriedly, reaching up to push a bit of Jin Guangyao’s hair behind his ear just to have some excuse to touch him.

“I could...” Jin Guangyao was clearly struggling, Lan Xichen could see how hard he was fighting to string the words together, when it was obvious his body was on the verge of forcing itself to shut down, to reserve its energy because it was working on so little fuel, “only eat when... when Father allowed me to. Only animals. Only... every few days.”

A surge of rage unlike Lan Xichen had ever experienced burned white hot in his chest, blinding him--for a split second, there was a very real danger of Lan Xichen putting Jin Guangyao down and flying at high speed back to Carp Tower, a moment when the sensation of snapping Jin Guangshan’s neck in his hands would have been the most satisfying feeling in the entire world, but he took a hard breath and forced the feeling away, even as the embers of the fire continued on. Jin Guangshan knew better. The Jin Clan was full of vampires, many of whom had been fledglings at some point or another, there was no way he didn’t know what he was doing to his son. Fledglings needed blood, ideally human blood, and there was no conceivable way that Jin Guangshan hadn’t known that he was starving Jin Guangyao, keeping him purposefully weakened while expecting Jin Guangyao to perform his tasks as well as a vampire who wasn’t still adjusting to his new senses and urges and appetites, and...

Lan Xichen took another shaking breath as he forced the anger away. He couldn’t do anything about it right now, he couldn’t actually kill Jin Guangshan without starting a war, there was no use in reveling in feelings of revenge because he wouldn’t be able to seek it, but... his energy could be useful here and now. The weight of Jin Guangyao in his arms was grounding, pulled him out of his head and forced his mind back to concern, because concern for Jin Guangyao was productive. This was a place that Lan Xichen could help.

“You need to feed , A-Yao,” Lan Xichen said firmly. What Jin Guangyao had been through today would have drained any vampire, much less a fledgling who was being starved. He took a second to adjust Jin Guangyao in his arms, enough so that he could extend his wrist, brushing it gently against Jin Guangyao’s lips. “Here, please, drink.”

Fresh human blood would be best, but Lan Xichen wasn’t sure where they would procure it at this time of night, and Jin Guangyao seemed so close to passing out that Lan Xichen didn’t want to wait for Nie Mingjue’s return in order to figure it out. His own blood was a close second option though, far better than animal blood and endlessly better than letting Jin Guangyao go without.

But Jin Guangyao... turned his head away, looking faintly distressed as he protested blearily, “No, Er-Ge, you don’t... I’m fine, I...”

“You’re not,” Lan Xichen countered, tone gentle, but insistent. “I mean it, you’re very weak right now. I need you to drink for me, okay? Here...”

Jin Guangyao had to be hungry, Lan Xichen was sure of it; even if he could refuse to bite him, Lan Xichen knew he couldn’t resist feeding if he was presented with an open vein. Without a second thought. Lan Xichen raised his wrist to his mouth and dug a tooth into it, suckling a little on the wound to get the blood flowing before he lowered it back to Jin Guangyao’s lips.

As soon as the blood touched them, Jin Guangyao shuddered in his grasp, and he seemed to try to resist the urge for just a second longer before the hunger, the need for survival, took over. Jin Guangyao’s lips parted and his mouth latched onto the wound, suckling at it tentatively, and even that much filled Lan Xichen with relief. He’d gladly let Jin Guangyao gorge himself, Lan Xichen had fed just today and he could safely let Jin Guangyao take what he needed, but any amount that Jin Guangyao drank was better than none.

He nudged his wrist a little more firmly against Jin Guangyao’s lips - while forcing himself not to think about Jin Guangyao’s lips - and clenched his hand into a fist to push the blood from the wound. He... felt Jin Guangyao’s tongue sweep across it as... the expression on his face melted into something new, something more desperate. Lan Xichen heard Jin Guangyao’s breathing catch, watched his eyes squeezing shut as his teeth glanced against the skin, as if fighting against the urge to press down...

“Go on, bite me if you want,” Lan Xichen told him sweetly. It’d feel more natural to Jin Guangyao’s instincts to drink from a wound he’d made himself, it would encourage him to drink more, to drink until the hunger was satisfied, which was exactly what Lan Xichen wanted.

Lan Xichen heard Jin Guangyao take in a shuddering breath, felt the tension in his back and shoulders because of how close he was holding him... before Jin Guangyao finally gave in and sunk his teeth into the wrist.

Jin Guangyao began to suckle at the wound, his tongue making a few more tentative sweeps around the skin--before he seemed to find his taste for it, before the instinct and hunger began to overwhelm any rationale thought that had been holding him back--his teeth pressed down harder, releasing more blood, and he began to drink in earnest as a tremble began working its way down his back.

“That’s right,” Lan Xichen soothed softly, rubbing his free hand over Jin Guangyao’s arm. “I know, I know you’re hungry.”

Lan Xichen had seen his own lean days. During the war there had been no shortage of blood shed--and yet so little of it suitable for drinking. Lan Xichen had gone days, weeks at time without feeding when he’d needed to push himself, and he knew too well what Jin Guangyao was feeling; the ache that seemed to consume your every thought no matter how hard you tried to push it aside and... feeding again, that first drop of blood when you’d gone ages without was... indescribable. It was more than just satisfying a hunger or a thirst, it was like... like consuming life itself. It was like being achingly numb only to have feeling slowly coming back to your limbs, like being burdened with a chronic pain only to suddenly have it lifted. Those periods of starvation were the bleakest of Lan Xichen’s life, he’d had to struggle to remember why he should even bother living when the worst of it hit him, but feeding again almost made him feel like a veil was being lifted, like he was finally allowed to see the beauty in the world for the very first time.

Though Lan Xichen couldn’t read Jin Guangyao’s thoughts, he could feel the way he was shaking almost violently in his arms, as if totally overwhelmed--he could see the tears wetting his eyelashes and could hear the choked little sounds that were almost certainly relieved sobs as the blood filled Jin Guangyao’s mouth and warmed his stomach, renewing him little by little. After just a moment more, Jin Guangyao found the strength to move his arms, and he used it to grab at Lan Xichen’s arm and hold it in place against his mouth, his desperation to keep feeding completely taking control of him.

Lan Xichen would do nothing but encourage it. His hand moved to stroke Jin Guangyao’s hair as he managed to keep himself upright, and he let Jin Guangyao grab onto his wrist as tightly as he needed to to feel safe. “Keep going,” he coaxed, his voice close enough to Jin Guangyao’s ear that he barely needed to do more than whisper it. “You won’t hurt me, A-Yao, I promise. Drink as much as you need.”

Lan Xichen felt Jin Guangyao nod slightly in acknowledgement and he smiled softly from his own relief. He kept his fingers running through Jin Guangyao’s hair, kept focusing on him so that his mind wouldn’t stray to the person responsible for doing this to Jin Guangyao in the first place--eventually, he gave in to his own urges to gently press his face to Jin Guangyao’s hair, telling himself that it was for the best, that letting Jin Guangyao’s scent filled his nose was the most effective way to push any other thoughts from his mind because he knew all too well from their days on the run together that that was the truth.

They sat huddled close together, until Jin Guangyao’s hunger finally tapered off. Slowly, his overwhelmed sobs quieted, and the tense tremors melted away from his back and shoulders. His grip on Lan Xichen’s arm loosened, his suckling grew fainter and fainter, and when he finally retracted his teeth from the skin... he fell, half-limp against Lan Xichen’s chest.

After sparing a single glance at his wrist - Jin Guangyao had licked all the blood free of the skin and it was already starting to stitch itself closed - Lan Xichen turned his focus back on Jin Guangyao, adjusting him in his arms enough to get a look at him--an easy feat, now that the hunger and the accompanying pain were gone. Jin Guangyao was loose, pliant in his arms in a way that was completely different from how the exhaustion had left him. Lan Xichen gently touched Jin Guangyao’s face, and he couldn’t help but find solace in the renewed color of his skin that was now the well-fed shade of a healthy vampire.

Jin Guangyao’s eyes were still closed, but he looked completely relaxed and he was giving off a distinct air of serenity that most certainly hadn’t been there before. He seemed quietly delighted to be in Lan Xichen’s lap now; he curled up against him and his face even turned to nuzzle gently against Lan Xichen’s hand, seeking out reassuring contact in the tipsy sort of way typical of a freshly fed fledgling.

Lan Xichen didn’t know why he hadn’t thought of it before, why he hadn’t realized that Jin Guangyao wasn’t being treated at all like the fledgling he was back at Carp Tower. Jin Guangyao had been working almost non-stop instead of being allowed time to cope with his new heightened senses, instead of being given comforting people or places to hideaway when he was struck with inevitable bouts of overstimulation. He hadn’t thought twice about it and if Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao hadn’t fought today, if Nie Mingjue hadn’t made the executive decision to immediately extract Jin Guangyao from that awful place that Lan Xichen wasn’t even sure how much longer it would have taken him to realize...

Whether or not Lan Xichen would forgive himself for that was a matter for him to debate at another time. Right here, right now, Jin Guangyao needed attention, and Lan Xichen was the only other vampire in a sect that was otherwise full of werewolves. He was the only one currently in the position to give Jin Guangyao what he needed.

Lan Xichen shifted Jin Guangyao a little bit more, helping him sit up more fully, until Jin Guangyao’s face found its way almost naturally to the side of his neck. He immediately pressed himself to the skin there, nuzzling against it before slumping in a state of total contentment against Lan Xichen’s chest.

As Lan Xichen waited for Nie Mingjue’s return, he gave Jin Guangyao the contact and comfort he needed; he held him close and touched his hair and Jin Guangyao soaked up every bit of the positive attention he’d been starved of for so long, only seeming to grow more and more comfortable against him with each passing moment, his hands eventually clinging lightly to Lan Xichen’s robes.

The sound of the door opening as Nie Mingjue came through it only made Jin Guangyao bury himself more completely against Lan Xichen. As soon as Nie Mingjue's eyes landed on them, he gave Lan Xichen an uncertain look... but Lan Xichen just shook his head. Morning was approaching, and they all needed sleep--and Jin Guangyao especially needed a room where he’d be safe from the sun during the day.

Nie Mingjue said they had a room ready, and Lan Xichen carried Jin Guangyao as he followed Nie Mingjue to the prepared place, though... as he tried to set Jin Guangyao down on the bed, Lan Xichen couldn’t even be surprised at the way Jin Guangyao clung to him, issued a faint whimper in his fledgling desire not to be left alone... and Lan Xichen decided quickly that any conversation he needed to have with Nie Mingjue could wait until nightfall, once they’d all managed to get some rest.

He told Nie Mingjue he’d stay with Jin Guangyao, and then settled down on the bed next to him. As Jin Guangyao cuddled close to his chest, Lan Xichen pushed aside his selfish feelings, and gave Jin Guangyao the closeness that any young vampire wanted and deserved.

There would be important things to discuss later that evening, about Jin Guangshan’s actions, about what the best course of action would be with Jin Guangyao now that they’d rescued him... but those were discussion topics for that evening. For now, Lan Xichen let himself bury his face in Jin Guangyao’s hair (because it was for Jin Guangyao’s sake, wasn’t it?), and drift off with Jin Guangyao into a deep sleep.

#xiyao #3zun #lan xichen #jin guangyao #meng yao #mdzs #cql #vampires #the untamed #mdzs fanfiction #the untamed fanfic #vesper posts #wrote a thing

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silverseedthings · 4 years

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Jin Ling is a little younger Fix-It AU

Alright, so I had a silly thought:

I’ve read a lot of fic where Jin Guangyao didn’t love Qin Su but wanted the political connections of marrying her (plus the appearence of respectability inherent in being a married man) and he seduced her in order to force her family’s hand since they wouldn’t let them marry.

So far, this makes sense. Jin Guangyao is an experienced manipulator, he has charm, he has dimples, he’s a war hero. A sheltered girl like Qin Su would probably be easy prey for him. Equally logically, Qin Su’s mother would be Extremely Against this marriage. But she’s not going to admit to having been raped when she has the handy excuse of “But he’s the son of a whore!”

Now, what if Qin Su’s maids heard about what their mistress and her suitor were planning? The scandal! The juicy gossip! The extremely hefty tips they could receive in Jinlintai for that piece of intelligence on one of Carp Tower’s most disliked inhabitants!

Qin Su and Jin Guangyao quietly cease their association. But the Jin Sect is really gross and sexist even beyond the standards of the really gross and sexist cultivation world. Who’s going to get the worst of the backlash? Qin Su.

And Jin Zixuan notices. Madam Jin makes SURE he notices, anyway, with how she rants about shamelessness and dishonorability, even if in her case it’s mostly so she can say that she didn’t expect any better from JGY.

Now, Jin Zixuan had been quietly hopeful that he could get some action before the wedding, but he has just gotten a brutal reminder of how insidious Carp Tower gossip is, and he’s humiliated Jiang Yanli enough for a lifetime. He would never even look at her nonconsensually -he’s not his father- but he rather thinks Jiang Cheng would still take him aside for a quiet conversation with Zidian if there was a blowup of this magnitude (probably worse considering their station) with his sister. So he keeps it in his pants.

(Do I know if the timeline works for this? No. Do I care? Also no)

Now, fast forward most of a year past the wedding. The situation is thus:

Wei Wuxian is quietly farming in the Burial Mounds. Nobody has heard of the Yiling Patriarch in months beyond vague rumour-mongering.

Jiang Yanli is only just starting to show a baby bump. No official announcements have been made.

Jiang Cheng absolutely refuses to commit to an attack on the remaining Wens. Without Jiang support for the Jin’s proposal, Lan Xichen feels comfortable mantaining neutrality. Nie Mingjue hates Wens and demonic cultivation, but he has his priorities mostly straight. He won’t launch an offensive unprovoked, and is considering retracting his support of the siege plans out of spite since he Really Fucking Hates both Jin Guangshan and Jin Guangyao.

Jin Guangshan’s patience is wearing thin.

Now, Jin Guangyao knows very well he’s disposable. It’s why he wanted to marry Qin Su in the first place: a bastard son can be quietly (or loudly, depending on what is most convenient) expelled from the Sect once he’s no longer useful. If he was married to a lady from a prominent family that could be taken as an insult to his in-laws. But that plan backfired.

The social capital from his heroic deeds in the war is drying up. The scandal has left him in an even more precarious position, and to the public it looks like not even his sworn brothers are supporting him.

(It legitimately cracks me up that the outside perspective is that Lan Xichen is quietly disapproving of his actions while Nie Mingjue still gives him the benefit of the doubt, based on who’s standing with his clan on the Yiling Patriarch issue)

His assets are: one (1) easily-manipulated, bitter and petty minor sect leader with a disturbing obsession with Lan Wangji and one (1) out of his myriad of siblings (sworn, recognized, unrecognized or otherwise) that still likes and trusts him.

He goes to talk to Lan Xichen.

Here’s when what I like to call “The Tea of Misunderstandings” happens.

JGY, with earnest eyes and a pitiful expression: “Er-ge, I really don’t know what to do about the issue of the Yiling Patriarch. My father is convinced he’s an evil man that is amassing an army, but I haven’t seen you agree with him. Do you think his opinion is unfounded? Do you know anyone who could give an accurate account of his character? Please advise”

LXC, who always errs on the side of thinking the best of everyone’s intentions: “Well, I never had many interactions with Young Master Wei. I really couldn’t say for sure what he’s thinking, even if his chosen cultivation method is deeply troubling. If you want to hear what someone that has fought with him in the past has to say, perhaps you could ask Wangji?”

JGY, internally: “Perfect. Everyone knows Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian can’t stand one another. Er-ge won’t want to risk a large battle unless he’s attacked when his sect suffered so much so recently, but it will be easy to get him onboard once I give him a good excuse”

LXC, internally: “It’s so nice of A-Yao to be worried about doing the right thing, even if it might not align with his sect leader’s opinion. So inspiring! I hope Young Master Wei really is the man Wangji thinks he is, and that Wangji can convince A-Yao to speak to Sect Leader Jin on his behalf. We might be able to solve this situation without bloodshed.”

Remember, at this point in time Lan Wangji is still an Extremely Repressed Gay, and he and Wei Wuxian have had many very public disagreements. You can forgive JGY for not realizing that everybody knows they hate each other in much the same way everybody knows the Yiling Patriarch is amassing a terrifying Wen army.

You may blame Lan Xichen for his word choice when he meant “Someone who fought beside Wei Wuxian in the Sunshot Campaign and other occasions”. Poor jiggy interpreted “Someone who fought AGAINST Wei Wuxian”.

Convincing Su She to curse Lan Wangji is easy. Convincing him that the Yiling Patriarch: 1) Will be pleased about this and welcome him with open arms; 2) Can and will get rid of the curse backlash; 3) Will be easy to fool into revealing his plans so Su She can access glory and reknown in the same way JGY did is easier.

Jin Guangyao is prepared for every outcome:

If WWX kills Su She on the spot (which seems unlikely), Lan Wangji will still have suffered a direct attack “from the Yiling Patriarch” and Lan Xichen will feel compelled to support Jin Guangshan’s agenda. The Jiang will have no choice but to bow to the other three sects’ will and join. The death of a minor sect leader will get the minor sects foaming at the mouth to mount his head on a pike. Win.

If WWX lets his grudge cloud his judgement and actually welcomes Su She into the Burial Mounds (possible), the movilization to eradicate him and his camp will be even faster. Win.

If WWX tries to get Su She to pass him information and push his own agenda on the cultivation world (most probable, since he’s in desperate need of both information and people speaking for him, even if they come with the ticking time-bomb of a curse), Su She will just report on his forces and condemn him for “forcing him” to curse LWJ, as planned. Win.

Even in the unlikely event that WWX actually can (and the even unlikelier scenario that he does) get rid of the curse mark, JGY can blame Su She for everything and present himself as the one who uncovered their sinister plots so as to not share the glory. Win.

....Or so he’d thought. WWX trussing up Su She like a turkey and presenting them both at the gates of Cloud Recesses in a very public show of concern for LWJ was not something he’d thought he’d need a contingency for.

When LWJ turns out to believe everything WWX tells him even after Su She shockingly doesn’t sell JGY out and they team up to uncover the mystery, jiggy is ready to just throw up his hands in disbelief. That’s just unfair.

(WWX would probably have killed Su She on the spot, because he Cannot Even at the idea of LWJ being the slightest at risk, but Wen Ning was the one who found him and got the spiel about joining them and having cursed LWJ as a mark of his sincerity. It didn’t particularly endear him to Wen Ning either, but WN is smart enough to realize that a moron incompetent enough to get lost on the way to the Burial Mounds, in such a way that they had to split up to find him after he tripped the wards because apparentely?? he can’t feel the strongest fucking focus of resentful energy EVER?? is probably not smart enough to figure out a way to curse Hanguang Jun. Much less through the GusuLan sect’s barriers. So WWX and LWJ investigate to find out who’s the mastermind)

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scottspack · 4 years

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My Wife Has An 18 Hour Drive Fic Rec Roundup

I wanted to make a fic rec post for the insane amount of Untamed fic ive been reading anyways, and Chi @got2ghost is driving halfway across the country tomorrow, so there’s no time like the present to put all of the really great fics ive read over the past couple of weeks in one location! Let’s get it poppin!

Ones That Chi Already Read:

A Lot of Edges Called Perhaps by hansbekhart (Wangxian, E, 21k)

The funny part is - and it is a little funny, even if Wei Wuxian has no one left to share the joke with - they never have. Not anything. He has never kissed any part of Lan Zhan besides his slim hands; never been even partially undressed with him anywhere besides a miserable, xuanwu-infested cave. It’s always been like this between them, this simmering need, this desperate understanding: a knowledge so deep that it lives somewhere in his bones, that if he wanted to have Lan Zhan he could have him, and if Lan Zhan wanted Wei Wuxian he could have that too. But they never have.

I found this fic on someone’s blog when they said that it was the definitive fic to read directly after finishing the series so i saved it, read it directly after finishing the series, and felt completely and wholly fulfilled by the resolution found in this fic. 10/10 cant recommend enough.

One Rouge Spark In My Direction by hansbekhart (Lan Wangji/Xiao Xingchen/Song Lan E, 5k)

He’d thought, in Yueyang, that they’d seen something in each other, something familiar. That maybe they’d recognized something in him. But it’s been many years, and many things have happened since, and he’s guessed wrongly at other people’s hearts before. Lan Wangji looks back down at the table, at his steaming, bitter tea. He’ll beg if he has to.

In “A Lot Of Edges Called Perhaps” Wangji mentions that he has had sex before and this is the in-universe story of that time and WHEW BABY!!!! AHHHHHH!!!

Gathered Herbs & Sweet Grasses by hansbekhart (Laz Sizhui & Lan Wangji, G, 19k)

Later, when he’s older, it’s this that A-Yuan will remember most: the stretch of silence, the two of them both dirty and shaking with fever, as he looked at Brother Rich, and Brother Rich looked back at him.

This is a fic about Lan Wangji raising Sizhui from when he brings him back from the Burial Mounds until they bring Wuxian back to Cloud Recesses after he’s resurrected. It made me cry about 18 times and I consider it fully canon in relation to the show. I reread this fic at LEAST once a week. *chefs kiss*

Seldom All They Seem by Fahye (Wangxian, E, 25k)

or, one hundred and thirty-three principles of the Gusu Lan, pertaining to the state of marriage

***

He bows to Wei Wuxian, sword in hand, sleeves falling properly. Wei Wuxian bows in return, and the sect leaders begin the opening courtesies, and for all of ten minutes Lan Wangji is under the impression that he is betrothed to a boy who is perfectly normal and acceptable apart from an unfortunate tendency to fidget with his clothes.

That impression does not last.

A canon-divergent fic exploring “what if Wangji and Wuxian were betrothed from when they were young like Yanli and the peacock?” It’s extremely good and very compelling and also made me cry multiple times. (The confrontation in the rain doesn’t get any easier even if they’re betrothed!)

Half Cloak & Half Dagger by Fahye (Lan Xichen/Meng Yao, E, 13k)

Jin Guangyao lifts his head and smiles. "I'm considering a problem."

"Can I be of any assistance with it?"

He drops a kiss on Lan Xichen's chest. With the nail of one finger he lightly traces the characters for irony on Lan Xichen's side. "Not this one, er-ge."

In the “Seldom All They Seem” universe but focused on xiyao. Has hands down the best written characterization of meng yao in any fic ive read so far. I continuously come back to this fic just to read the absolutely genius way this author writes the Head Bitch In Control of the cultivation world.

Hurricane by gdgdbaby (Wangxian, E, 6k)

"Haven't you heard?" Nie Huaisang replied, clicking his tongue, though he was clearly pleased that he could be the one to break the news. He leaned in to announce with a dramatic flourish: "Lan Wangji just took emergency family leave this past weekend."

WANGXIAN AS SPIRK STAR TREK PON FAR AU!!!!!!!!!!!!! WEEWOO WEEWOO WEEWOO!!!!!!!! This was actually recced to ME by CHI and I have not stopped thinking about this fic for a full month. It’s like author gdgdbaby sat down one day and was like “Tumblr user Liv Scottspack deserves everything she wants in this life.” and then wrote this fic. Thank you author gdgdbaby, I love you.

Ones That Chi Has Yet To Read:

My Age Has Never Made Me Wise by idrilka (Wangxian, E, 63k)

“We hear that His Excellency might be married by summer’s end,” the merchant’s wife says and Wei Wuxian freezes, his heart in his throat. “The Gusu Lan sect has been buying enough red silk and brocade that the merchants in Caiyi can’t satisfy the demand.”

He feels himself grow brittle inside, like a flick of a finger to his temple might make him shatter. His ears are ringing.

“Who’s the lucky bride?” he asks despite himself. His tongue sticks to the roof of his mouth.

Or: The story of a marriage.

I LOVE THIS FIC. The absolute best kind of slow burn and I think such an extremely accurate representation of the canon material. I’m always surprised by the authors in this fandom’s ability to write shit that is so concretely grounded in the universe. This could and should be a real companion novel. Amazing. I love it.

The Year of Drought by idrilka (Wangxian, E, 24k)

Wei Ying could not be contained by the walls of the Cloud Recesses, alive again and overflowing with it, bursting like a dam in spring with the force of two lives unspent. And so he had to go. Lan Wangji understands that—he understood it when Wei Ying told him of his plans, looking at Lan Wangji above the rim of his cup with an apologetic smile, like craving freedom was something to apologize for.

Wei Ying would go, and Lan Wangji would see him off; this has always been the only way it could be.

Or: In the absence of Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji waits.

The previous fic but from Wangji’s perspective. Absolutely required reading if you read the other one. Wangji baby.......i love you.....

A Civil Combpaign by Ariaste (Jin Ling/Lan Sizhui, T, 20k)

“And,” said one of the pompous ministers, “there’s the matter of a marriage to consider as well!”

Jin Ling, who at the beginning of that sentence had expected to slam into the very last wall of his patience and lose his temper entirely, paused. “A what?”

Thing was… it wasn’t such a bad idea.

Jin Ling gets it in his head that as sect leader he should get married and sets his sights on Lan Sizhui. I cannot stress enough how FUCKING CUTE this fic is!!! Sizhui being the best boy! Jin Ling having more uncles than he knows what to do with! Jiang Cheng being the worst at relationship advice! It’s so fucking good it love it so much.

Anyway, Here’s Wuji by kakikaeru (Lan Jingyi/Lan Sizhui, T, 18k)

The melody gets a little clearer when he breaks out of the trees, and Jingyi changes course with certainty, barreling down the back hill and through the Cloud Recesses, dodging scandalized disciples left and right. He throws open the doors to the Receiving Hall without announcement and bows nearly double, eyes on the floor instead of on the shocked faces of the Mei delegation and the impenetrable gaze of the Chief Cultivator.

"Forgive this disciple," Jingyi shouts, because he's going to get punished for rule breaking regardless. "From the back hill, Hanguang-jun, there is a song in the wind!"

Lan Jingyi comes of age.

A Jingyi-central fic about Jingyi growing up and falling in love and being a hero and being the second best boy of my heart right after Sizhui. Not only is this fic sweet and romantic but it’s another one that explores a lot of interesting things within canon and all of the supporting characters are written very well and are just as interesting as second best boy Jingyi.

Ok, JiuJiu by kakikaeru (Jin Ling/Ouyang Zizhen, T, 16k)

Uncle's jaw works in the way that suggests he's about to say something irredeemable. Jin Ling, in a move of diplomacy he hopes the Chief Cultivator appreciates, distracts him with spicy food and his favourite subject: the incompetence of his own officials.

"I hear the lakes in the south east are having drainage problems?" he asks nonchalantly, sticking three big slices of braised pork belly into his Uncle's bowl.

Jin Ling just wants to get through the Discussion Conference with his Sect, his dignity, and his heart intact.

A follow up fic to “Anyways, Here’s Wuji.” I LOVE the Jin Ling/Ouyang Zizhen dynamic of Jin Ling having been raised by Jiang “I keep all my emotions right here and then one day I’ll die” Cheng being hopelessly charmed and smitten with Ouyang “President of the I Love Love Romance Novel Book Club” Zizhen! I LOVE IT! EXTREMELY CUTE!

This Side of Paradise by greenfionn (Wei Wuxian/Wen Qing, E, 3k)

Wei Wuxian does some very quick math in his head that goes something like this: He is pretty sure he’s in love with Lan Zhan - Lan Zhan is not here and likely never will be here - Wen Qing is here, not to mention very hot and let us not forget, actually interested in sex with him - there’s a solid chance he goes genuinely crazy or dies, or both, in the next few months and really, who wants to die a virgin?

Listen.......the fic premise is “Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing, noted bisexuals, figure life sucks enough at the Burial Mounds, they might as well have any fun they can before they die” and........I Am Looking Directly At It. It features Wen Qing bossing Wei Wuxian around and Wei Wuxian’s canon he-wants-to-be-pregnant kink. It’s........I liked it.

To The Act of Making Noise by words-writ-in-starlight (Lan Sizhui & Lan Wangji, G, 19k)

His father in white plays the song late into the night, and when A-Yuan wakes up confused and afraid, the guqin lulls him back to sleep.

Lan Sizhui hears his father play the same song every night for his whole life, and never, ever get an answer.

Another very moving and heartwarming fic about Lan Wangji raising Sizhui and Sizhui figuring out Wangji’s past and then eventually reconnecting with Wei Wuxian. It’s cute and soft and Sizhui is my best boy!

History (Proud To Call Your Own) by words-writ-in-starlight (Wen Ning, G, 5k)

“A-Yuan? Um—Lan-gongzi,” Wen Ning corrects, trying to set a good example. The children are young, seven and eight, exactly a dozen of them lined up in two crisp lines of tiny blue and white robes. Wen Ning can feel them staring at him, even though most of them have already mastered that Lan trick of neutrality. The smallest, a little girl with liquid dark eyes, is clinging to her nearest shijie’s sleeve and half-hiding. “Can I—what can I do for you?”

Wen Ning gets himself recruited for services, while he and Sizhui are visiting Cloud Recesses. Wei Wuxian gets a fan club.

Set in the same universe as “To The Act of Making Noise,” a very cute fic about Wen Ning finding his place in the post-canon world and being proud of his cousin Sizhui and being the world’s best substitute teacher. As the official Wen Ning Fan Club President, I had to include this.

Lan Sizhui's Guide to Courtship by Kimblydot (Lan Sizhui/Lan Jingyi, T, 23k)

In which Jingyi is a little oblivious, Sizhui is patient (and should have said something in the beginning), and everyone else is resigned to watching them dance around each other for far longer than necessary.

(Or: five things Sizhui tries to do in his courtship, and the one time Jingyi realizes there was one happening in the first place.)

I’ll stop describing fics about the juniors as being “cute” when they stop being SO FUCKING CUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

Grow by cafecliche (Lan Sizhui & Wei Wuxian, T, 14k)

“Okay,” Jingyi says, as Sizhui puzzles this out aloud. “Okay! So the demon has been turning its victims into children.”

“I think so,” Sizhui says.

“To make them easier prey,” Jingyi says.

“Yes,” Sizhui says.

“So—” Jingyi’s voice cracks here, “this kid is Senior Wei.”

Wei Wuxian, still tangled in his own massive robes, blinks politely at them.

(Or: Wei Wuxian is cursed on a night-hunt, and the junior quartet rapidly finds themselves in over their heads.)

What I expected to be a goofy, silly fic turned out to be extremely emotional and made me FULLY CRY! It’s a very moving fic about Sizhui coming to understand himself and Wei Wuxian a lot better AND features all of the juniors arguing over who’s turn it is to hold 6 year old Wei Wuxian. A true win/win of a fic.

Your Name, Safe In Their Mouth by astrolesbian (Lan Sizhui & Wei Wuxian, G, 10k)

“You’ve got a fever,” Wei Wuxian says soothingly. “You just keep still as well as you can. We’ll have you fixed up soon.”

Lan Sizhui recognizes his tone—this is the voice that Wei Wuxian uses on hurt people and young children, a very calm and no-nonsense voice that has none of the mischief and cheer of the way he sounds the rest of the time. Lan Sizhui looks up and meets his eyes, and they are dark, stormy gray, muddled and concerned.

“I’m all right,” he croaks.

“Hush,” Wei Wuxian says, in a low croon, like someone quieting a baby. Then he blinks, and looks away, awkward. “I mean—you shouldn’t speak. You’re tired. Rest if you need to.”

or: lan sizhui gets sick on a night hunt. wei wuxian comforts him. they both have a lot of feelings about it.

The Wei Wuxian and Sizhui bonding fic that I so desperately desperately needed to read. Scratched the very particular itch of “but have they REALLY talked about what it means that they’re reunited after 16 years???”

Stainless by Fahye (Wangxian, E, 6k)

"I'm starting to feel," says Lan Xichen, "that this was a counterproductive suggestion."

Wei Wuxian looks down onto the pristine, tranquil cold springs of the Cloud Recesses. Sitting in the water, their bare shoulders rising like dumplings carefully spaced in a steaming-basket, are a large number of Lan disciples.

"They seem to be doing better," he says, encouragingly. "If they--oh, no, I see what you mean."

At the near bank, someone has pressed someone else against the rocks and is kissing them frantically.

It’s smut! What is getting into a new pairing if not an excuse to read sex pollen in new and exciting ways!

Sweet Night by thejillyfish (Wangxian, E, 10k)

It was like coming back to life again, like being restitched into existence, cell by cell, nerve by nerve. From the surface of his skin to the marrow of his bones, everything new and purposeful. Like being pulled back from oblivion into an embrace of pure light. A feeling of absolute asylum.

That’s what it felt like, to realize Lan Wangji was in love with him.

In-show au of “what if they just admitted they’re in love and fucked during episode 43?” Soft and romantic and hot!

Shadows In The Sun Rise by Yuu_chi (Wangxian, E, 25k)

“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji says, voice slow and a pitch too quiet. A second later Wei Wuxian understands why. “I cannot hear.”

Or; Lan Wangji is cursed into internal isolation. Their ability to understand one another remains as unwavering as ever.

OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD. I have been thinking about this fic nonstop since I read it. It is.....fucking incredible. One of the best qualities of wangxian is that they’re so in tune with each other and able to work so cohesively with little communication and this fic is like “what if we take that and DIAL IT UP TO ELEVEN” and i was like AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

WHEW OKAY that’s enough for right now!

I’m constantly reading new fics all the time so maybe eventually I’ll make a second one if Chi actually reads/likes any of these (they’re picky!), or if anyone else likes this list and wants updates.

TO CHI: Thank you for getting me into The Untamed! I love you! I had the best time texting you every thought that passed through my head while I watched it. I’ve loved all of the content you’ve sent me from the book and the comic. I’ve loved making fun of Yibo with you. I’ve loved being your fic taste tester. Life sucks right now but at least we have wangxian!

TO EVERYONE ELSE: If you read any of these fics please come to my DMs and talk to me about them! I have a lot of feelings and love to cry over fics! Thank you!

#the untamed #fic #WHEW BABY THIS IS A LOT #i did in fact just spend two full hours making this #i dont regret it at all bc im bad about bookmarking things so im glad this forced me to go back through my ao3 history #and actually make a record of the fics ive read and loved #theres SO MUCH talent in this fandom #just a crazy amount #from the fan artists to the fic writers to the gif makers #i forgot how fun being in a fandom is when the canon is good and the fans are creative!#i said it on my sideblog but this has been the first time ive EVER read fic for a fandom #where i wasnt exclusively reading fics about a certain pairing getting together #i literally just want to read any and everything about this universe #regardless of pairing or rating or whatever else #which is not at all my usual style #shout out to the untamed for being a good fucking show and for having like four other canon adaptions #theres just so much to work with and the fic writers absolutely kill it #ANYWAYS I LOVE YOU CHI #HAVE A SAFE TRIP TOMORROW

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omgkatsudonplease · 5 years

Note

恭喜发财!!! 3zun please😊

dark!lwj au has some fun 3zun dynamics, so

“Xiaodi,” says Lan Xichen, nodding as Jin Guangyao enters his chambers. “What brings you here today?”

“Am I not allowed to visit my dear brother for no reason?” wonders Jin Guangyao, as Lan Xichen watches him take his seat across from him with the wariness of stalked prey. “Of course, I had context. I brought Jingyi a birthday present.”

“I saw,” says Lan Xichen. “He thanks you for the calligraphy tools. They are exquisite.”

“The least I could do,” replies Jin Guangyao, stretching cat-like in his seat before pulling out a book from the folds of his robes. “I also brought something for you, too. Some old texts I found in the archives of Koi Tower. Thought they might be of interest to you, since...”

It’s an unspoken but practically carved rule to not mention the name of Lan Wangji in Lan Xichen’s presence. Sure enough, as he reads the title of the book, Lan Xichen’s eyes narrow considerably.

“What use do I have for this?” he wonders.

“Demonic inquiry,” says Jin Guangyao. “It helps you seek out concentrated amounts of demonic energy. You know, if you happen to be looking for that sort of thing.”

Lan Xichen hums, his lips thinning into a line. “Thank you,” he says after a moment. “I appreciate your kind present, xiaodi.”

“Xichen, it has been too long since your last visit,” says Nie Mingjue. “Pardon the mess; my good-for-nothing brother is rearranging the house again.”

“As long as he is occupied,” reasons Lan Xichen. “He is a good kid; he has the potential to form a core if he just focused.”

“He will not,” says Nie Mingjue, the eyeroll evident in his voice. “Perhaps Gusu Lan should take him back for remedial classes.”

Lan Xichen laughs at that. “It will come with time,” he says. “He has the potential, the drive, the passion for greatness. It just may not lie where the Nie Sect has traditionally prided itself.”

“He fishes and paints paper fans,” retorts Nie Mingjue, nearly tripping over a stool as they stride down the hallways. “But I did not invite you here to discuss my hopeless brother. You were not present at our last predetermined meeting with xiaodi. Is something the issue?”

Lan Xichen blinks, and then smiles, shaking his head. “I lost track of time on a hunt,” he replies.

Nie Mingjue raises an eyebrow. The jade of Lan, losing track of time. Likely story. “Did you catch the quarry?”

A shadow passes over Lan Xichen’s face. “No,” he states flatly. “But I have every reason to believe it will eventually tire of this game, and I will capture it.”

Hunting is not always about skill -- it is also about endurance and outlasting the prey. Nie Mingjue has some idea of what Lan Xichen may be talking about, but mentioning it may only sour his sworn brother’s mood. As it is, the scowl tugging at his lips is already quite unsettling. He sighs.

“I cannot believe I am the person to tell you this, Xichen, but too much resentful energy can result in a qi deviation.”

Lan Xichen’s eyes only narrow further. “It is not resentful energy that drives me, Mingjue-xiong,” he says calmly. “It is justice, cold and bright. For the crimes committed by my kin, I must seek justice.”

Nie Mingjue shakes his head. “The pursuit of justice can easily turn into festering resentment, when results are not swift,” he says. “Your head is too far in, Xichen, please. Consider this advice from someone who carries this same ailment in his blood: step back.”

Lan Xichen whirls around to face him, his hand flying to the hilt of his sword. “You dare tell me how I should best protect the interests of my sect?”

“No!” The anger boils deep inside Nie Mingjue, but for him it is old and familiar, and at this point he can calm it if necessary. Lan Xichen has never been so stymied before in his pursuit of what he thinks is right, and it is withering him from the inside. “I am telling you this for the sake of your qi, Xichen -- for your health!”

Lan Xichen takes a couple steps back, smoothing his brows, unclenching his hands. The saber at Nie Mingjue’s side twitches nonetheless, as Lan Xichen’s cold anger simmers at them from just below the surface.

“I find suddenly that I have urgent matters to attend to in Gusu,” says Lan Xichen stiffly, heading back towards the door. “I shall show myself out, Sect Leader Nie. I wish you a very good day.”

“Xichen --” begins Nie Mingjue, but Lan Xichen has already turned away.

“Er-ge isn’t here, again,” remarks Jin Guangyao, shaking his head. “What a pity. I even had the cooks prepare foods from Gusu.”

“Pity,” agrees Nie Mingjue, idly tracing the shapes of painted dragons along the rim of his teacup. “Any news of your brother?”

“Brother this, brother that.” Jin Guangyao sighs, putting his head in his hands. “I am looking. Everyone is looking. We are leaving no stone unturned.”

“And yet you appear to have even less success than the Lans in looking for their fallen jade,” snips Nie Mingjue. Jin Guangyao bristles at that, but he makes no further comment.

“Perhaps we should find lighter avenues of discussion,” he suggests. “Madam Jin, for one, is planning a magnificent party for the return of her shidi. The Twin Heroes of Yunmeng are back again. Hooray.”

“You don’t seem very happy about it,” says Nie Mingjue, his eyes narrowing.

“I’m tired, Da-ge, give me a break,” sniffs Jin Guangyao. “Madam Jin, bless her heart, has sent me running to all corners of the earth trying to find the right spices for her shidi’s feast. I have personally inspected five thousand lotus pods for the cauldron of lotus and rib soup that she is preparing for him. My fingers will fall off at the sight of the next lotus, mark my words.”

“It is good to see her in good spirits again,” replies Nie Mingjue. “She has suffered so ever since Sect Leader Jin vanished.”

“We’re all praying for his safe return,” replies Jin Guangyao, but there’s something too casual in his words, something too calm in his expression. Nie Mingjue is not as astute as either of his brothers, but he can trust his gut when he needs to.

And right now, his gut is telling him there is something rotten in the state of Lanling.

“Of course,” he says, a rough smile on his face as he finishes his tea. Across the table, Jin Guangyao fiddles at his own cup with a bored expression. “I have no doubt he will come home soon.”

Jin Guangyao says nothing, only drinks his tea, and Nie Mingjue thinks to the sight of two unfamiliar legs buried amid the bodies of his ancestor’s saber halls, wondering.

#魔道祖师 #mo dao zu shi #mdzs #3zun #red envelope ficlets #lily's dabbles #yiling patriarch lwj au #anonymous #ask

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robininthelabyrinth · 3 years

Note

I saw you mention this in one of your posts and this sounds like a swell idea! Something where JGY figures out that NHS is The Scary One before he touches a hair on NMJ’s head. :D

on ao3

When his father said that someone ought to get rid of Nie Mingjue, that he was in their way, that he would never stop, Jin Guangyao’s first thought was about the Song of Clarity that Lan Xichen was teaching him – and the Song of Turmoil, that he’d taught himself in one of his secret visits to the Lan sect library. He’d long ago noticed the similarities between the two tunes, one to help and the other to harm; it wasn’t similar enough to fool anyone skilled in music, of course, much less in musical cultivation, but Nie Mingjue rather infamously wasn’t.

His second thought was: let’s wait and see.

Perhaps it was only that it had been a very long day, and Jin Guangyao was tired, feeling unusually surly and dissatisfied. But it occurred to him that it wouldn’t do his father any harm to have to actually ask for something from him, rather than merely hint at it and have Jin Guangyao run to do it for him before he even finished the sentence – a rather unpleasant comparison had been made between Jin Guangyao and a poodle earlier that day, and he was still sore.

So yes.

Let’s wait and see.

Waiting was not, it seemed, paying off.

His father’s hinting had grown all the more intense, although he had not yet actually asked, and as for Nie Mingjue...

Nie Mingjue had promised to try to trust him again, Jin Guangyao thought to himself with a sigh, but most days it seemed that the only thing he trusted was that Jin Guangyao was up to something.

He scolded and he scowled and he questioned, always looking for loopholes and tricks hidden behind every word and gesture, never giving him the benefit of the doubt on a single thing. Jin Guangyao thought nostalgically back to the days when Nie Mingjue would simply present him with a problem that needed taking care of and tell him to deal with it as he saw fit, trusting not only in his competence in dealing with it but also in his judgment of how things ought to be resolved.

They said that trust was like a priceless porcelain vase: once shattered, it would never be whole again, even if it was repaired.

Jin Guangyao supposed that he deserved it for letting himself get caught like that. An amateur’s mistake, but you only needed one of those to ruin everything.

But if it couldn’t be fixed…

He was just contemplating the Song of Turmoil again as he walked through the halls of the Unclean Realm when Nie Huaisang unexpectedly tackled him around the waist, making him Jin Guangyao stagger back and nearly fall – poor cultivator or no, Nie Huaisang had some heft to him, and plenty of muscle from years of running from his brother’s attempts to make him train.

“You have to help me, san-ge!” Nie Huaisang said, eyes wide and pathetic in such a patently unauthentic way that Jin Guangyao had an immediate stabbing feeling of empathy, an affliction he almost never suffered from. What a little scoundrel you are, he thought, not without fondness. “Da-ge’s on my case again. Scolding and scowling and trying to catch me in some sort of trick – and I would never play a trick on him, never - not in a million years -”

It occurred to Jin Guangyao that perhaps Nie Mingjue really did treat him as a younger brother, and it was only that he’d incorrectly assumed that he’d be treated as being somewhat more capable than the man’s actual younger brother.

Who was, he conceded, probably equally untrustworthy when it came to the likelihood of playing tricks on his too-earnest older brother, even if the tricks Nie Huaisang generally played were significantly lower in both quality and importance than his own…

“Huaisang! Where are you – ah, Meng Yao. What are you doing here?” Nie Mingjue asked, blinking at him. “Anything urgent?”

“Ah – no?” Jin Guangyao said. “I came to play for you, da-ge, you remember – er-ge said –”

“Right, of course,” Nie Mingjue said, in the tones of a man who had completely forgotten. “Could I borrow you for something else while you’re here? Perhaps Huaisang will learn better if it’s not just me.”

“Of course, da-ge,” Jin Guangyao said. It was always better to do someone a favor than the other way around, to better use it later, and Nie Mingjue almost never asked him for anything. “What are you trying to teach him?”

“How to run a sect,” Nie Mingjue said, lifting Nie Huaisang by the waist. “No, Huaisang,” he added when the younger man whined. “You do not get a choice.”

With that said, he lifted the younger man above his head – Nie Huaisang, as mentioned, was not light, but Nie Mingjue didn’t seem to notice – and walked back towards his office.

Jin Guangyao followed, torn between wondering if this was the reason that the ceilings in the Unclean Realm were all so high and being unable to keep himself from doing the math: Nie Huaisang weighed more than Jin Guangyao did, being both heavier and thicker around the middle, so if it was Jin Guangyao that Nie Mingjue was holding, it could be estimated that he could hold him up for at least an hour, and even longer if he was braced against something convenient such as a wall –

He shook his head to rid himself of the useless thoughts. He would need all his cunning about him if he was going to embark on the difficult mission of trying to get Nie Huaisang to actually learn something, especially something as boring as sect management.

Questions of assassination were, comparatively, much easier.

The problem, Jin Guangyao discovered, was not, as he’d suspected, in keeping Nie Huaisang’s attention.

It was in everything else.

“ – and the sect leader is now requesting assistance,” Nie Mingjue concluded his summary of the situation behind the letter that they had received, laying out both the actual content of the letter, the implications behind it, and the background necessary to make a decision so efficiently that Jin Guangyao lost his head for a moment and imagined what life would be like if he could hire Nie Mingjue as his deputy. His life would be so much easier. “How do you respond?”

Nie Huaisang heaved a sigh. “That’s obvious!”

It was. The request was far more than this particular sect really deserved, given its past behavior (rather despicable) and the moderately high chance that they were simply trying to get the Nie sect to pay for benefits that would later go to themselves or, at best, the Jiang sect, but granting the request would not seriously damage the Nie sect’s coffers and would lay the groundwork for a better relationship in the future –

“We write a letter that heavily hints about what we know that the sect leader did in the past, expressing our concern and indicating that we received the information from the Jiang sect in a moment of indiscretion,” Nie Huaisang said happily. “He’ll be so distraught at the thought of potential blackmail from them that he’ll beg us for assistance, and we’ll be able to extract additional benefits before finally agreeing to –”

“No, Huaisang,” Nie Mingjue said, even as Jin Guangyao boggled at the sheer wretched cleverness of the idea. It would work perfectly to isolate the other party through their own paranoia, leaving them feeling that they had no other way out but to throw themselves on the Nie sect’s mercy – there wasn’t a limit to what could be extracted that way. “If he’s so untrustworthy as all that, we don’t actually want him, do we? He’ll just betray us next time he can. No, we write to him the way we would anyone who wasn’t our dependent and lay out our terms, free and clear; if he wants better ones, he knows what to do.”

“People don’t have to be trustworthy to be useful, da-ge,” Nie Huaisang whined, and the infantile tone of his voice very nearly disguised the fact that he was saying something incredibly insightful. Not at all something Jin Guangyao would have expected to come out of the mouth of one of the Nie sect, much less Nie Huaisang, the most useless of them all. “They don’t even have to know they’re being used to be useful! I can think of at least three ways we could use –”

“The answer is no. Besides, I thought you liked Sect Leader Jiang?”

“Yes, but he’s far too direct to be dealing with someone like this – think of it as us ridding him of a pest! We could –”

“Huaisang.”

Nie Huaisang sighed.

“ – but if you would only consider what we could achieve with just a little bit of bribery –”

“Huaisang.”

“But it’s such a small amount! I could do it with my own pocket money!”

“Huaisang.”

“Ugh, fine, have it your way, we’ll just ask, I guess…”

“Oh, wow, that’s a tough one. Uh…murder?”

“Huaisang!”

“What?! It was a reasonable guess!”

“It was not a reasonable guess!”

“We wouldn’t let anyone know that we were the ones that – I’m making it worse, aren’t I?”

“Yes, Huaisang. You’re making it worse.”

“I’m guessing the answer isn’t going to be blackmail?”

“That’s correct.”

“And not it’s bribery, either.”

“No.”

“Definitely not beating him up…”

“Huaisang, are you trying to get the answer by process of elimination?”

“It’s a valid strategy to figure out the answers to test questions!”

“This isn’t a test question, it’s real life!”

“No, it’s a test, because if it was real life, I could use blackmail.”

“…you know what,” Nie Huaisang said after a couple of moments of serious contemplation. “I actually have no idea what I’d do in that situation. San-ge? Can I have an assist?”

Jin Guangyao had managed, over the past shichen or so, to get ahold of himself. He shrugged apologetically. “I must admit that I’m at a loss myself. It seems like an especially tricky situation.”

The situation in question involved the crimes of an extremely well-connected individual, with interests from all over the cultivation world deep in his pockets; he would be a difficult man to cross. Moreover, he was well known for his perfidy, rendering blackmail useless, and well-off enough to make bribes pointless; mere intimidation was also out, given his connections – he’d already gone through a “trial”, if it could be described as such, and he’d only used it to cleanse himself. In such a situation, Jin Guangyao would probably hang back out of caution, seeking further information and hoping that an appropriate situation would appear that he could take advantage, but Nie Mingjue had specified that there was a time limit involved…

Nie Mingjue groaned. “You’re both overthinking it: for once, murder is the right answer.”

“Wait, it is?” Jin Guangyao asked, staring at him blankly. “I mean - what exactly do you mean, murder?”

“The man slaughtered children in broad daylight! The evidence is unquestionable and undeniable; he should be executed immediately.”

“But – his connections –”

“That’s why there’s a time limit,” Nie Mingjue said, rolling his eyes on both of them. “If you do it quickly enough, it gets attributed to the hair-trigger Nie temper going out of control and everyone treats it like a casualty in the face of a force of nature – the same way you’d shrug off the death of someone who got in the way of a hurricane or tsunami.”

“Oh,” Nie Huaisang said. “I see.”

Jin Guangyao envied him: he most certainly did not see. Since when was outright murder a possible weapon in the Nie sect’s diplomatic arsenal?

“Speaking of which, I’ve already delayed long enough, trying to teach you something,” Nie Mingjue added. “Huaisang, can you host Meng Yao for dinner? I’ll be back later this evening.”

“Of course, da-ge! Count on me!”

Nie Mingjue nodded at them both and strode out without another word.

“…where is he going?” Jin Guangyao asked.

“Presumably to go murder someone,” Nie Huaisang said, as if it were obvious, and then laughed, presumably at Jin Guangyao’s expression. “He always makes me practice with real questions, you know, though he does save them up if he can.”

“That wasn’t what I was surprised about,” Jin Guangyao admitted, because he’d already figured out – possibly for the first time – that Nie Huaisang almost certainly already knew what he was like under the smile. “It’s just…murder? Really? Da-ge?”

“Da-ge’s righteous, not kind,” Nie Huaisang said with a shrug. “Leave questions of mercy to the Lan sect! Here we believe that showing excess mercy to evildoers is itself committing a harm to their victims…ah, well, let’s not talk about it, shall we? If we do, I’ll just get another headache from trying to figure out the line between what I’m allowed to do and what I’m not allowed to do.”

“You know perfectly well what you’re allowed to do,” Jin Guangyao said, deliberately keeping his voice light rather than accusing. “You just want your brother to be a bit more open-minded.”

“He won’t be.” Nie Huaisang’s voice was fond. “He’s willing to pull those sorts of tricks when he has to – our exculpated murderer is an excellent example – but he’s never going to understand why anyone would pull a nasty trick if they had another choice…it’s just the way he is.”

He laughed, taking out his fan – a new one, Jin Guangyao observed – and lightly nudged Jin Guangyao in the side even as he hid his smile behind it.

“It’s fine, though,” he said. “Isn’t that why he has people like us?”

“Yes,” Jin Guangyao said, following Nie Huaisang to the dinner table, thoughts running through his mind. The Song of Turmoil – it would still work, more than likely, because Nie Mingjue would let him play it for him and him alone, and even Nie Huaisang needed clay to build bricks. But if he did it, and Nie Huaisang ever found out…

He thought that he might not like being Nie Huaisang’s opponent.

He wasn’t sure which one of them would win and which would lose, of course, and he rather thought he’d bet on himself, but in all honesty he wouldn’t like to try.

“In fact,” he said casually, “Huaisang, if you don’t mind, I have another situation that I’d be interested in hearing your thoughts on.”

“Not another one,” Nie Huaisang whined, but his eyes narrowed in blatant curiosity. “But all right, all right, just one more. Only for you, san-ge, and only because I like you so much.”

Jin Guangyao smiled. “I appreciate it. Now, for the situation: assume there are two sect leaders, and one of them wishes to eliminate the other through underhanded means…”

“Murder, I think,” Nie Huaisang said thoughtfully. “No – most definitely murder. There is no other path forward. The only question is, I suppose: how much do you want your father to suffer during the process?”

Jin Guangyao smiled.

It was so nice to work with people that understood.

#mdzs #meng yao #jin guangyao #nie mingjue #nie huaisang #my fic #my fics #under the smile #this one was fun #Anonymous

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ibijau · 3 years

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on AO3

Beta Nie Huaisang goes to check on omega Lan Xichen, since his lover hasn't gotten in touch in a few weeks. When he finds Lan Xichen nesting, he can only conclude that the child isn't his.

It had been a while since Nie Huaisang had last seen Lan Xichen, and longer still since he had come to the Cloud Recesses. Usually, for everyone’s convenience, it was simpler for the two of them to meet in the Unclean Realm, where people knew to mind their own business, and where Nie Huaisang’s failings as a sect leader gave them a good excuse to spend time together.

It had been over two months since they’d last met. In all that time, Lan Xichen had only written once, and about sect business too, so it hardly counted at all. And so Nie Huaisang, who was in the area for some other dealings of his, had decided that it would probably be fine to drop by and check on the omega.

The men watching the gate did not bat an eye upon seeing him, since it wasn’t so unusual for him to come unannounced, but one evasively warned him that Lan Xichen might be busy. That wasn’t a problem of course. Nie Huaisang had a permanent invitation to make himself at home in the Hanshi for those times Lan Xichen wasn’t free to deal with him right away.

So like always he headed right for the Hanshi, already wondering what tea he’d make for himself while Lan Xichen dealt with his own business. Only when he entered the Hanshi, Nie Huaisang was struck by an unexpected sight.

The Hanshi, usually so neat and tidy that one could have eaten off the floor, was an absolute mess . There were fabrics everywhere in all shades of white and blue as well as the occasional dash of green, plus a great number of cushions of many sizes that Lan Xichen was organising in some manner that must have made sense to him.

Nie Huaisang gaped at the sight.

Lan Xichen was nesting.

There was no other explanation. Although Nie Huaisang was a beta, as a sect leader he’d had to deal with that sort of things before. People were always surprised to hear about it, but Qinghe Nie was very welcoming to omega disciples, and of course alphas had to deal with their spouses. A whole portion of the sect’s budget was dedicated to this sort of things, just because Nie Huaisang had found that it spelled trouble to have a frustrated omega failing to build their nest exactly as they envisioned it. In fact, although he complained about the waste of money, Nie Huaisang found the process somewhat fascinating, and he’d always been happy to give his opinion whenever asked for it.

This nest, though, was instantly hateful to him.

It wasn’t as though Lan Xichen and him had made any clear promises to each other. They liked to fool around when they could, but being a beta he couldn’t mark the omega, and would have been unlikely to ever impregnate him. That was the whole reason why Lan Xichen allowed himself such liberties with Nie Huaisang: it was a safe way to scratch that itch without ruining his prospects for a proper match when the time came.

Still, even without promises, Nie Huaisang had thought they had a certain understanding. He had never taken other lovers since falling in bed with Lan Xichen, and not just because he was too busy for it. Compared to the esteemed Zewu-Jun, everyone else felt boring, no matter if they were alphas, omegas, or betas. But Nie Huaisang himself, by comparison… well, if Lan Xichen had found himself a proper mate, an alpha, he couldn’t be blamed for it of course.

Busy with the delicate task of constructing his nest, Lan Xichen didn’t realise that he had company until Nie Huaisang closed the door behind himself, a little more forcefully than he should have.

He hated the way Lan Xichen’s face illuminated upon seeing him, so pretty like this, kneeling in the middle of his half built nest.

“A-Sang!” he exclaimed,. “I was just about to write to you, as soon as I finished with this.”

He gestured at the mess around him, and Nie Huaisang couldn’t help a disdainful scoff.

“I think I’d have waited a long while before seeing that letter then,” he remarked. “Congratulations are in order it seems. And I suppose I’d better leave you to it, you seem very busy.”

“Nonsense, you simply have to help me,” Lan Xichen protested, picking up an embroidered cushion and looking around for the best place to put it. “I’m not too good at this, but you’ve said you’ve helped with that sort of things before, right? I need your expertise, A-Sang.”

If Nie Huaisang had been a reasonable person, if he’d had a little more pride, he would have left immediately. Hearing himself still being called A-Sang after this hurt too much, as did Lan Xichen’s casual attitude, as if he truly didn’t realise that it might pain Nie Huaisang to discover in such a brutal manner that he had been replaced. Above all, no self-respecting person should have had to help their lover help prepare a nest for someone else’s child.

But apparently, Lan Xichen really saw no wrong with that. Nie Huaisang, kindly, decided to blame it on nesting frenzy rather than on the omega’s tendency to close his eyes to anything he didn’t like thinking about.

Lan Xichen was the only person that Nie Huaisang could have allowed to be so cruel to him without hating him. His one weakness, now and always. So instead of leaving, he quickly untied his shoes and came to join Lan Xichen in the middle of his nest.

“Hold this,” Lan Xichen ordered when Nie Huaisang knelt next to him, handing him some delicate furs, a present from Nie Huaisang himself some years before. “And this, and…”

“Quite the luxurious nest you’re building here,” Nie Huaisang remarked as he started laying the furs and fabrics around so they would be both elegant to look at and comfortable to lay on. “Is that even allowed by your sect’s rules?”

“It’s my nest, I get to decide how I want it,” Lan Xichen replied in a playful tone. “For once in my life, nobody has the right to tell me how to do this. I will take full advantage of it.”

“Hm. And what about whoever sired your child? Don’t they also get a say? Maybe they’ll think this is too ostentatious.”

For some reason, that remark made Lan Xichen laugh. Nie Huaisang found himself increasingly curious as to the identity of whatever alpha had gotten his friend with child. It couldn’t be another Lan, or else Lan Xichen would not actually allow himself to be so extravagant. A Jin then? He really didn’t like the idea that it might be a Jin, because there was only one of them close enough to Lan Xichen for this to happen, and if Jin Guangyao had dared to touch the omega…

“He won’t mind,” Lan Xichen claimed with laughter still in his voice, before grabbing Nie Huaisang to kiss him.

Again, Nie Huaisang thought of protesting on account of his pride.

But what was the value of that pride when Lan Xichen's lips were on his, tender and demanding, when the omega's arms were wrapped around his waist to pull him closer.

Nie Huaisang had sacrificed his pride for less pleasant purposes before. He didn't mind doing it again, for one last tryst with the man he shouldn't have loved.

One of Nie Huaisang's hands grabbed the back of Lan Xichen's neck. This made him gasp, and gave Nie Huaisang the chance to deepen the kiss, licking into that willing mouth. Then, with his free hand he started pulling on the ties of Lan Xichen's clothes, eager to undress his lover.

Under layers and layers of pale silk, delicate skin became revealed. Nie Huaisang's fingers lazily danced over his lover's collarbone, over a firm chest, taking a moment to play with a nipple, just for the joy of seeing Lan Xichen's lips part for a soft gasp. His chest was still all muscle, but it would probably soon start to soften and prepare for the child’s arrival. The thought sent heat coursing through Nie Huaisang’s groin, for which he cursed himself. By the time such changes started appearing, everything would be over between them, Lan Xichen would certainly have married whatever lucky idiot had managed to breed him.

Enraged by that idea, Nie Huaisang tore off the rest of the omega’s robes, letting precious silk pool around them and adding to the mess of the half built nest. When Lan Xichen was left in nothing but pants, Nie Huaisang roughly pushed him down against the nearest pile of pillows.

Lan Xichen went down willingly, though could have resisted if he wanted. He was the stronger between them, and by far, but when they were alone he liked to pretend Nie Huaisang could push him around, to play the part of a delicate and submissive omega. Another game between them, another thing they didn’t talk about, and Nie Huaisang to this day didn't know if Lan Xichen did it for his own pleasure, or out of pity for his weak lover.

It had to be at least partly for pleasure, with the way Lan Xichen gasped when Nie Huaisang, having pulled down his pants pushed a finger into him to find him slick with arousal already.

“Zewu-Jun, how shameful of you to get in such a state while nesting,” Nie Huaisang teased, pressing in a second finger already, while his other hand pressed on Lan Xichen' s shoulder, pinning him against the side of his nest.

Lan Xichen writhed weakly, as if trying to escape but unable to.

“A-Sang don’t, ah, don’t call me that,” he complained, gasping when his lover’s fingers found the right places to tease. “It’s not…”

“Then what should I call you?” Nie Huaisang asked, trying to keep his tone casual even as he added another finger. “Er-ge? Lan-gege? Xichen-ge? A-Huan, perhaps?”

Lan Xichen, whose eyes had closed upon that most welcome assault, opened them again and whined at that last suggestion. Even though they had been doing this for some years now, Nie Huaisang had never really dared to use his lover’s personal name, fearing it would have been too intimate for the sort of relationship they had. Now though, if he was to lose all this, there was little point in not taking everything he could before it was over.

“You’re so wet, A-Huan,” he accused, removing his fingers from his lover’s hole and carelessly wiping them against the side of his naked thigh. “Isn’t it against your sect’s rules to be unrestrained?”

Lan Xichen pouted at feeling himself empty again, and shivered at Nie Huaisang’s words. As if suddenly remembering something, he quickly sat up in spite of the hand pushing down on his chest, proving that Nie Huaisang was only in control because it was granted to him. Nie Huaisang found it a more potent aphrodisiac than actually having the strength to subdue his lover could have been. He then saw Lan Xichen quickly reach behind his head, saw the white embroidered ribbon he wore be loosened and slide down, saw his lover smile at him with that spark of mischief Lan Xichen only ever showed when they were alone together.

“There, now I’m allowed to be unrestrained,” Lan Xichen said after dropping the ribbon out of the way and carefully laying down on the side of his nest again. “Let’s make the best of this, A-Sang.”

He opened his legs a little wider, shamelessly inviting Nie Huaisang to come enjoy his body. Nie Huaisang, in turn, pretended to ignore him and started undressing himself, taking care to fold everything neatly so it wouldn’t get lost in the luxurious mess of that nest around them. Lan Xichen observed him with hunger at first, which quickly turned to frustration.

“You’re teasing me,” he accused with a slight whine to his voice that made Nie Huaisang want to devour him.

“I’m just trying to be respectful,” Nie Huaisang retorted while fighting with his pants, the last item of clothing on him. “I believe your sect has a rule against undue haste, and against being careless with one’s possessions.”

“Then stop being careless with me,” Lan Xichen ordered.

Nie Huaisang froze, unsure whether to cry or laugh. Once again, he was stunned by how innocently cruel his lover was that day. He really should have put an end to this joke and gone home, leaving Lan Xichen to go get fucked by whatever alpha he’d found himself.

He should have.

He couldn’t.

Instead, Nie Huaisang quickly finished undressing, dropping his pants to the side without even pretending to fold them this time, and came to kneel between Lan Xichen’s legs. The omega smiled up at him, so radiant it hurt.

Without thinking, Nie Huaisang’s hand trailed down his lover’s chest, coming to rest on his stomach. Nothing was showing yet, not even the first signs of softness, though when he probed using spiritual energy, he definitely felt there was something there, a presence too small to have reached consciousness yet.

The pregnancy wasn’t very far along, three months perhaps, which would place its start rather close to the last time Nie Huaisang and Lan Xichen had been together. That would fit, of course. Last time, Lan Xichen had needed to leave the Unclean Realm in something of a hurry when his heat had surprised him, forcing him to rush home before it overcame him completely… or so Nie Huaisang had thought at the time.

Back then, he’d been disappointed that they’d barely managed to fool around at all. He’d been disappointed at himself, also, for still not finding the courage to ask Lan Xichen to stay, heat or not. With himself a beta there was so little risk of unwanted consequences, while surely it would have been more comfortable for Lan Xichen to go through this with a partner for once…

As it turned out, Lan Xichen hadn’t faced the discomfort of his heat alone. He just hadn’t wanted to spend it with Nie Huaisang either.

Suddenly, Nie Huaisang grabbed Lan Xichen's arm, forcing him to turn around. Lan Xichen willingly obeyed and got on his hands and knees, a spark of excitement in his eyes. He gasped when Nie Huaisang pressed into him faster than he normally did. But then, normally he wasn't so angry at the man he…

The man he didn't want to love, Nie Huaisang thought as he started moving without giving the omega time to adjust. The man he shouldn't have loved. The man who he should have known he'd never get to keep.

“A-Sang, be gentle,” Lan Xichen begged, before moaning when Nie Huaisang, instead, fucked him harder.

The beta soon fell into a punishing rhythm, skin slapping against skin. The only sounds leaving Nie Huaisang’s mouth were grunts, while Lan Xichen alternated between begging to be treated gently or more roughly, as if unable to make up his mind.

When Lan Xichen's pleasure cries became louder, his body tighter, Nie Huaisang found it in him to fuck even harder into that too willing body, until at last Lan Xichen tensed under him, coming undone with a silent gasp. Nie Huaisang kept going, enjoying that slick tightness for a few thrusts more until he felt he could hold on no longer.

Pressing inside as far as he could go, Nie Huaisang bent down and bit as hard as he could onto Lan Xichen while spilling his seed.

It was a vain effort, of course. Still, when Nie Huaisang’s senses returned to him and he saw the imprint of his teeth on the side of Lan Xichen's neck, almost deep enough to have broken the skin, he felt a twisted satisfaction. The mark would fade in a few days, a few hours even if Lan Xichen expended some energy to get rid of it. But now Nie Huaisang knew what the man he didn't want to love would have looked, had he been able to mark him and keep him.

A memory he would surely cherish in the future, when nothing else remained.

Nie Huaisang pulled out and sat up on his haunches, the better to look at Lan Xichen lying under him, beautiful in his contentment, pale skin decorated by the first signs of future bruises. If he hadn't just come, the sight of such perfection on display for him would have made him hard. Even like that he felt some new desire run through him.

Lan Xichen cracked open one eye. He smiled, turned around to rest his back against the now crumbling side of his nest, and opened his arms in a silent invitation. One that Nie Huaisang should have refused, the same as he should have refused all the rest. One he took, as he had taken all the rest.

It was comfortable to lay like this, his head on Lan Xichen's chest, cuddled against one side of that hateful nest. Nie Huaisang could have fallen asleep like this, sated and warm, with Lan Xichen's long fingers lazily tracing senseless patterns on his back.

Life didn't get better than this, and Nie Huaisang was selfish enough to take what wasn't his to enjoy.

"I was thinking what we should do, since both our sects need an heir," Lan Xichen said, just as Nie Huaisang was abput to fall asleep. "If it's a girl, let's raise it like a Nie. Your sect is more reasonable about letting women rule, so it'd be… you don't like that?"

Nie Huaisang shook his head, his body suddenly so tense he could barely breathe, let alone speak.

That child was his?

He would have assumed… betas weren't very fertile, and everyone said they had better chances of conceiving with a woman of any sort than a male omega. Nie Huaisang had made his peace with that, knowing he and Lan Xichen wouldn't… That there would only ever be a very low chance of...

But a low chance was still a chance.

"It's fine if you'd rather see a boy inherit Qinghe Nie as well," Lan Xichen said, his hand turned soothing on Nie Huaisang's back. "In that case if it's a girl, we'll get to spoil her."

"I don't mind seeing our daughter rule the Unclean Realm," Nie Huaisang weakly replied, still terrified he'd misunderstood somehow, that Lan Xichen had just been carelessly cruel again, that…

But Lan Xichen kissed the top of his head with affection, and took to running his fingers through Nie Huaisang’s hair.

"We'll see when the baby is there," Lan Xichen concluded. "I… you want this too, don't you?" he asked, suddenly sounding worried. "We never really spoke about… if you don't want to be involved, I'll… of course I won't force you. I can raise it alone if you're not interested."

Nie Huaisang rose on his elbows to look at the man he loved, who carried his child, and was shocked to find Lan Xichen looking truly worried. As if there were anyone in the world who wouldn't give everything to be in Nie Huaisang’s place. As if Nie Huaisang himself hadn't been ready to sacrifice any dignity he had left for what he thought were scraps of Lan Xichen’s attention.

"We're raising our child together," Nie Huaisang firmly stated. "I'll claim it if you let me, I'll marry you if you let me. Anything you want from me, just ask and it's yours."

Lan Xichen smiled brightly at him, happy beyond words. Nie Huaisang found it in him to smile back.

He would just have to get Mo Xuanyu to hurry up with that ritual, so that Jin Guangyao could be taken care of before the birth.

#xisang #nie huaisang #lan xichen #mo dao zu shi #mdzs #jau writes #for context I started writing this in october 2020 #I am not very good at sexy stuff ok

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