#the first two are vicious cycles i tell you | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

euovennia · 1 year

Note

headcanons for simon being the mom/dad friend to reader and her just eating that shit up? like yeah, that giant intimidating guy wearing a skull mask is my best friend. he’s really cute right? (he is)

anon your brain is huge and i love it, thank you for such a gorgeous request! just want you to know that your second request will be up sometime soon, i just wanted to split them! thank you again for requesting, i hope you enjoy <3

pt. 2

fair warning to anyone reading, this is my first time writing headcanons (more like a short story with bullet points because my oh my i got carried away) so please don't shoot! anyway, i've got some ideas rolling around in my head so just jump into it:

let's get one thing straight

becoming friends with a man like simon is not an easy task

while you may be somewhat quick consider him a friend because you're both skilled enough to have made to the 141, it takes a lot longer for him to also consider you a friend

the process of getting him to this point is an arduous journey and some people (probably gaz and rudy bc i can see these two being equally terrified of this man) will not hesitate to tell you to cut your losses and leave him alone

i reckon simon is the type to verbally tell you this himself

and maybe for a bit you do leave him alone

but then one day you see him sitting alone in the commons area with what you deem to be the saddest plate of dinner ever and you just crack

cue you sliding into the seat in front of him with your tupperware full of homecooked food you'd stashed away the night before

naturally he gets frustrated and a maybe a lil annoyed so he goes to leave

but then you slide your tupperware of food over to him and his movements just kinda stop as he stares at you with his typical ghost stare

think 👁️👁️

he'll push the container back toward you causing you to push it back toward him

it becomes an almost vicious cycle before he finally snaps and spits out something like, "what's your fuckin' problem?"

to most he's a scary man with an even scarier voice so that would've been where most people drew the line (let's face it though, most people probably wouldn't have sat with him in the first place)

but all you can focus on is the piss poor excuse of a meal he'd retrieved from the mess hall so you just push it back toward him one final time with a simple, "eat."

he'll narrow his eyes and straighten his posture in an attempt to scare you off but when that doesn't work he'll tell you something along the lines of, "i'm spitting it out if it's shite"

he does not spit it out

from that day on, you'll seek him out with two tupperware containers filled with whatever you'd cooked up the night before and offer it to him

the first few times he's hesitant to accept simply because he doesn't wanna get used to the unusually kind gesture but it eventually gets to a point where he just stops getting a plate from the mess hall and instead waits around for you to feed him

these small dinners you share make it nearly impossible for simon to avoid your talking

he almost debates getting up and leaving a few times but then he remembers he'd be eating soggy meat and vegetables if it weren't for you so he decides to entertain it

and to the surprise of absolutely no one he eventually starts warming up to you, even throwing in a few comments and sarcastic quips of his own

and after a long while of having these dinners with you, he decides he likes it – he likes hearing you talk, whether it be about how you and gaz hid price's hat somewhere on base and blamed it on soap or what the latest celebrity gossip is

so what does he do?

he tries to block you out

it doesn't work because you're a stubborn little shit and refuse to let him fall back into his bubble of solitude and self pity

and he eventually realizes this so he just kinda accepts it after a while (more like a week)

and the two of you become quite chummy

well

as chummy as one can be with a person as closed off as ghost

instead you always being the one to seek him out come dinner time, he'll be the one to start finding you

it's a surprise

a delightful one

but still a surprise

his short, clipped responses will morph into longer, more thought out ones as your friendship continues to develop and you can't help but notice just how smart he really is

despite his everything that's happened to him in the past, he's actually quite in tune with the emotions of other people; his observational skills are off the charts

so you'll eventually start asking him for advice on anything and everything, even if it's not something that pertains directly to you because his wisdom outside the battle field is something to truly behold

it's amazing what can be solved without heavy loads of artillery and violence!

anyway

simon quickly becomes very used to this dynamic

you two having dinner, talking about everything and nothing all at once and while he may never verbalize it, he truly does appreciate it

he'd convinced himself long ago that his life was just cursed and that the people he loved and held closest to him were always destined for terrible things so he just closed himself off

he put on the mask and became ghost whereas simon was kept tucked away in a place no one even bothered to try and discover

but then you stumbled your way into his heart with your homemade food and endless chatter and he can't help but indulge himself

maybe having a friend isn't all that bad

and so the dinners/mini therapy sessions continue

until one day you don't show up

while he is a bit disappointed, simon decides to let it go because you've had dinner with him for god knows how long now

you probably just wanted a day to yourself and he understands that so he doesn't pry

even when he barely force himself to finish the sludge smacked onto his plate from the mess hall – how was he so comfortable eating that for so long?

but you don't show up the next day

or the next

and by the fourth day simon is just downright angry

and a little sad and worried

but mostly angry

who do you think you are to waltz in his life, make yourself cozy in his extremely tight knit circle, and then just leave him high and dry with no goodbye? (wow that rhymed)

if you're gonna ditch him like this then he's gonna make sure you sit through the awkward pain of saying it to his face

he spends an embarrassing amount of time looking for you before he even thinks to check your room

he walks up to your door, fully prepared to slam that door open and confront you

but then he hears you fall into a particularly nasty coughing fit paired with a muffled groan of agony and suddenly it just clicks

you got yourself sick

tempted as he is to simply walk away, he knows deep in his heart he can't do that to you

which is why you open up your door to see ghost awkwardly standing there with a tray of hot soup, water, and some medicine

you nearly cry in your haze of sickness

you'd spend the past four days miserably rotting away in your bed and to suddenly have simon by your side offering you soup and medicine? it was almost too much

ever since that day there had been a gradual shift in your friendship

it started with you two coordinating who would bring dinner on which days

but then it turned into simon being the one to bring dinner nearly everyday

which then evolved into him finding you throughout the day and offering small snacks and drinks

but he's a busy man and he can't do this every day so he'll settle for sending a simple message of, "you doing ok?"

and most times you say yes

but on the off chance you say no he'll take a few minutes to message you back and forth until you feel at least a little better (no this is not achieved by him sending you bad dad jokes, he would never do such a thing!)

but eventually the man just gets so tired of constantly going around base trying to find you that he'll simply just start to linger around you whenever he's free

gruff words of assurance and friendly pats on the shoulder become a staple for the masked man

when the team becomes privy to the newly formed friendship between the two of you, it's almost scary

imagine this 6'4 beefy mountain of a man hanging around someone half his size just chilling

i reached the character block limit how awkward anyway

it's odd and you know it is so you'll play into it

like that time you loudly asked ghost to grab the blanket from your room while you two were sitting on the couch in the common area while the rest of the team filed in

and him immediately going to grab it while the team are completely gobsmacked when he promptly returns with your blanket in hand

cue soap asking ghost the same thing a few days later and only receiving a glare in return along with a stern, "i'm not your maid, johnny."

then he just walks away leaving soap to feel like an idiot

it becomes apparent very quickly that simon has a favorite and that favorite is you

especially when he's the one to sweep you up into a quick hug with a quick pat on your head after the team completes yet another mission

you make it a point to squeeze onto simon just a tad tighter when you see soap looking over in complete bewilderment

seriously, how did you tame the legendary ghost?

and honestly?

you're not quite sure yourself

you just soak it in because you'd be a fool not to

maybe one day you'll ask him yourself

maybe you won't

doesn't matter either way because at the end of the day you're the only one who can proudly call ghost your best friend

even if he doesn't refer to you as the same

he totally does he just never says it out loud because he's secretly terrified you don't feel the same

regardless

you two are very much attached at the hip

what with you constantly getting yourself into trouble all around base and ghost not wanting you piss off the wrong person

he is very much your guard dog and you make it everyone's problem

soap went too hard on you during your sparring session? ghost is already glaring at him

gaz won't stop bugging you when you're actually trying to get your work done? ghost is pushing him out the door

price is about to lecture you for something gaz and soap framed you for? ghost is quick to rat them out

it's sweet really, the friendship you have

it warms your heart thinking about it

and it warms his too

even if he won't admit it

he's just grateful you didn't give up on him even when he wanted you to

because he's found that, sometimes, it's nice to have a friend

and he's glad it's you

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in-my-feels-probably · 8 months

Note

hi!

I saw you were in desperate need of requests for our lovely Slytherin boys, so I figured I'd help haha.

Would you be inspired by "how the Slytherin boys would spend a rainy Sunday morning with you?" if not it's alright :)

love <3

How the Slytherin Boys Would Spend a Rainy Morning with You

Request: Would you be inspired by "how the Slytherin boys would spend a rainy Sunday morning with you?" if not it's alright :)

Hi! This is my first time doing one of these, so hopefully I do alright. Besides Regulus, I’ve never written for these characters, so please bear with me while I try and get the hang of it. Also, I’ve never read the fics Enzo and Mattheo are from, so this is just a little bit of research and a vibe I'm going with. If you think anything is out of character, please tell me, I’m happy getting any feedback to use in later work. Also, I’m ignoring that the boys' dorms are in the dungeons, since I wanted to put a window for some of them. Anyways, thank you so much for the request! I hope you like it :)

(Warnings: mentions of insomnia, insecurity, smoking, let me know if i missed anything)

—

Theodore Nott:

i think he’s definitely an insomniac. any amount of noise is going to wake him up, and then he’ll just be in his head till he finally forces himself out of bed.

i do think the sound of rain would make him tired too, but it would be so distracting that he couldn’t sleep through it. he’d be so frustrated, and maybe a little grumpy.

before you, he’d use the time to smoke outside under a covering undisturbed. but with you, he just wouldn’t be able to bring himself to get out of bed. he wants to go smoke, but he’s not about to wake you up. you’d ask him if he wants to go outside once you wake up, but he’d just shake his head.

you’re a much needed distraction, and he just wants to be close to you. i think he’s a bit touch starved, and he’d want you to hold him while he rests a little while longer.

nap time if he can fall asleep for sure. you’d be able to see how tired he was, and just gently try to coax him to rest for a little while longer till the rain passed.

Theo had been up for quite a while when you finally stirred. It was still quite early, and you had not intended on getting up until you felt the empty spot in the bed next to you. You found him sitting at the foot of the bed, a far off look in his eye. You furrowed your brows in confusion, sitting up to reach out to him. He nearly jumped up as he felt your hand on his shoulder, only relaxing when he turned around to see you gazing up at him.

“Are you alright?” You asked, running your thumb along the curve of his shoulder. “Can’t sleep?”

He just nodded his head to the window where you could see the rain breaching the wake of the Black Lake. “The rain. It woke me up a little bit ago.”

“A little bit?” You asked, trying to hide your frown when you saw the dark rings developing around and under his eyes.

He hadn’t slept well the past couple of nights, and you were hoping he was going to do better with you sleeping with him. But the weather had other plans.

He let out a frustrated sigh, having to take a calming breath. “Just maybe an hour or two.”

You could tell how aggravated not being able to sleep was making him. He couldn't sleep when he tried–and he couldn’t stay asleep once he finally managed to drift off. It was a vicious cycle, and you wished you could ease his pain. You looked over to the pack of cigarettes on his nightstand, seeing that one had been pulled out but not lit.

You gave his shoulder a squeeze, your voice soft. “Wanna go outside and smoke? I’ll come with you if you do, just let me–”.

Theo could feel embarrassment bubbling in his chest, feeling his skin heat. You knew him so well, even when neither of you had to say anything. You just understood how he ticked, and sometimes that frightened him.

He knew there was nothing about him that you judged or looked down on–he knew that. But sometimes, with how gentle and understanding you treated him, he’d begin to feel like a burden. Like he was something you convinced yourself you had to fix out of obligation, not because you wanted to. He couldn’t have been more wrong, but it was hard for him to see that. And when he saw you going out of your way to try and help him, he shut it down.

“No, pretty girl,” he interrupted, reaching up to cradle your cheek in his palm. “I’ll go later. Go back to sleep. You don’t need to be up for a while.”

You could feel your chest tighten. He needed your help, but he didn’t know how to ask for it–he didn’t know how to accept it. The day had barely started, and you could see how drained he was already. And with a full week of classes coming up?

He wasn't going to make it.

“Come here, sweet boy,” you pleaded, laying back down against the pillows and opening your arms. “Forget about the rain for a moment. Just lay with me for a bit. You don’t have to sleep–just close your eyes and breath.”

Theo almost said no.

He was so close to shaking his head and brushing you off, but he couldn’t ignore the look in your eyes. You wanted to hold him just as much as he needed to be held, and he was so exhausted that he didn’t have it in him to argue. He finally relented, crawling back into bed with you under the covers. He rested his head against your chest, letting his arms settle around your waist. You threaded your fingers through his hair, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. It was quiet for a moment as you stared up at the ceiling, his gaze set on the window.

“I can hear your heartbeat,” he murmured after a moment, pressing a kiss into your skin. “It’s nice.”

You smiled, knowing he could hear how your heart fluttered at his words. “Good. Focus on that, not the rain. Close your eyes, baby. Just rest.”

—

Lorenzo Berkshire:

this man is 100% the kind of guy that stomped in puddles as a little kid after it rained, even if his parents yelled at him for it.

he’d want to let you sleep, but he’d be so excited that—if you didn’t wake up fast enough—he’s easing you awake and begging you to come outside with him.

he wouldn’t want you getting wet tho, he doesn’t want you catching a cold or feeling uncomfortable. he just wants to be able to look at you while he enjoys his morning.

if you wanna splash in the puddles with him, he’ll get over himself and agree. but if you get sick, you’re getting a firm “i told you so,” but of course he’d take care of you anyways.

he’d think you look ADORABLE, even if you were soaked. once you get back inside to change, you better believe that man is throwing you one of his hoodies before you have a chance to put on something else.

You groaned as the bed shifted next to you, and a hand gently pulled at your shoulder. It was far too early for you to be up—Enzo especially, who loved nothing more than to sleep in—and you shrugged away as you buried your face in the pillows.

“Honey, please,” Enzo pleaded with you, a warm hand coming to cup your cheek. “I can’t wait any longer.”

You cracked one eye open, peering up at him with a huff of frustration. “What is it?”

“It’s raining!” He said excitedly, rolling out of bed to peer out the window.

You smiled, letting out an exasperated chuckle. You groaned as you pushed yourself up into a sitting position, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. Enzo was practically halfway out the window already, leaning over the rail to see the grounds below.

“It rains nearly every week, darling,” you said, the covers pooling around your waist.

“Not like this,” he rationalized, coming back over to the bed to put on his shoes. “The puddles down there are massive.”

You smiled wider, leaning down to the foot of the bed where he was sitting to wrap your arms around his waist. “You’re so adorable, sometimes. Still a kid at heart, I think. My life would be a lot happier if I could see it like how you see yours.”

“Actually, I’m adorable all the time,” he corrected, turning around to press a kiss to your cheek. “But you’re the reason my life is happy. Jumping in those puddles downstairs will just make me happier. Come with me?”

You nodded, throwing on some clothes before following him down the stairs to the ground below.

You winced as he slipped before steadying himself, letting out a laugh as he continued running. You internally urged him to be more careful, but you couldn’t help but smile from under the covered archway as he splashed around in the water, a dreamy glaze over his eyes. It must have been quite the sight to anyone looking out the windows above you.

One of the most popular Slytherins in the entire school–splashing around in puddles like a child.

After a moment, you stepped out into the rain with him. He held out a hand for you to steady yourself, before placing his hands on your waist to keep you from slipping. He smoothed your hair back to keep it from matting to your face when you stilled.

“Go back under the cover, sweetheart. It’s too cold. I don’t want you getting sick out here.”

You shook your head, letting your arms settle around his neck. “And why would I do that? You’re out here. You’re just as likely to get sick.”

“Yes, but I have you to take care of me. You’ll end up with Madam Pomfrey if you get sick, she’s a lot more capable of taking care of you than me.”

You shrugged, blinking the rain out of your eyes. “Poppy and I get along quite well.”

Enzo let you stay out with him another moment longer, before he was leading you both back inside. As soon as you got back up to his dorm, he was casting a Warming Charm on you and shoving you into the bathroom to change clothes. The second you stepped out, he was helping you pull one of his hoodies over your head.

“Better?” You asked, grinning when his cheeks flushed a rosy pink.

He nodded, pulling you close. “Better.

—

Mattheo Riddle:

rainy day? oh, you mean never come out from under the covers day?

he’d absolutely whine about being cold. expect cold feet touching your legs, even when you’re squirming and trying to push him away. he’s not letting go. you’re his personal heater.

he’s definitely using it as a day to just be close to you and talk. he hardly ever lets himself be completely vulnerable around you, but being this close to you makes him feel like he can. just listen as best you can, and he’ll value that time with you so much.

i do think he’d get a bit uncomfortable and restless after a while, but he’d still want to keep talking to you like this. so you’d come up with some excuse to bring him somewhere else secluded so he can still be open with you but more comfortably.

but getting wet? an absolute no from him. wherever you take him has to be dry, or you will be hearing about it from him for the rest of the day.

You woke up to ice cold feet rubbing against your shins, opening your eyes with a gasp. Mattheo had wrapped himself around you tightly, his arms trapping you in his hold.

“Mattheo!” You whined, trying to squirm away. “Matty, please get your feet off me. And, for Merlin’s sake, put on socks! I told you last time!”

“I can’t get out of bed in this weather! It’s too cold, darling.”

You could practically feel his teeth chattering. He nuzzled his head into your neck, but you could feel his grin when he slid his foot down your leg. You eventually relented, turning around in his hold to face him so he could pull you closer.

“Come here, you big baby,” you mused, making it a point to kick his foot away before you hooked your leg around his to warm him up.

You stayed like that for a long while, his head tucked up into your neck. Every once in a while, he’d murmur something into your skin, his voice low as he talked to you. You listened, muttering praises into his ear and coaxing him to continue every time there was a moment of silence. It was unusual to have him be this open with you, and you weren’t about to let him pull away.

After a while, Mattheo started to fidget. He’d stretch a limb one at a time before curling back into you, continuing to talk. You could see the strain on his face—you could hear it in his voice. Finally, you reached for your wand, casting a Warming Charm over you both. You stood up, pulling on a hoodie of his before passing another one to him.

“Come on, my love. Your bed is too tiny and the dungeons are too cold for us to both be cooped up in here all day. Let’s get you warm somewhere else.”

He grumbled as he pulled himself out of bed, but he eagerly took the hand you offered him. “If I get rained on I’m not talking to you for the rest of the day.”

“We both know that’s not true, darling,” you grinned, pressing a kiss to the back of his hand before pulling him out the door.

—

Regulus Black:

early riser for SURE.

like he’s definitely the type to wake up in the morning and just lay there and think. and with you there, he’d be more than content to just lay with you and listen to the rain.

he strikes me as the kind of person who likes an overcast sky. the sound of rain is calming, the sight of you is calming, and he wouldn’t feel like he needed to get up or do something productive. he’d just lay there and wait till you woke up to see what you wanted to do.

he really values his alone time, but he’d also appreciate sharing that time with you sometimes. you don’t have to talk, either. silence is good sometimes, and it brings him peace.

but he’s definitely the type that wants to stay in under the covers and just have the day with you. and if the rain stopped in the next ten minutes? he doesn’t care. he’s declared it a rainy day, and you can’t change his mind.

Regulus had been up for hours by the time you woke up. He had propped himself up against his headboard, and gently moved you to where your head was resting against his stomach. He had been absentmindedly smoothing his hand over your hair when you finally opened your eyes, looking up at him.

He felt you move your head, smiling down at you. “Morning, love.”

You took a deep breath, smiling as the fresh air from the open window gently wafted in. You reached for his free hand, intertwining your fingers with his.

“It’s finally raining,” you mused, peering out the window before dropping your head back down against his stomach. “I’ve been waiting all week for it to rain. Looks like it’s clearing up, though.”

“Is it? Well, we’ll ignore that, won’t we? I don’t feel like moving today. I’ll move tomorrow.”

You chuckled into his skin, tracing your fingertips just under the hem of his shirt. “I assume that means I’m not moving either, am I?”

Regulus just hummed, a warm feeling spreading through his chest as you settled yourself back into him. It was quiet for a moment as you both rested, feeling each other’s chests rise and fall. Regulus felt the worries of the day quite literally blow away, allowing himself this time with you. And with how relaxed you looked in his arms, he knew you felt the same way.

“Let me know if you’re getting hungry, alright?” He asked softly just as you were beginning to drift back off. “We can go down.”

You nodded, closing your eyes as you nuzzled closer to him. He smiled to himself, finally tearing his eyes away from you to look back out the window.

— A/N - Hi! I’m so sorry that some of these are a bit longer than others, I just find it easier writing for some of the boys. I have such a soft spot for Theo, and I got a little carried away. I promise to make the next one a little more even and fair. Thank you again for reading and submitting prompts, I’ll gladly take any more you have! I hope you enjoyed this :)

#harry potter #slytherin #slytherin boys react #slytherin boys #theodore nott x reader #theo nott x reader #enzo berkshire x reader #lorenzo berkshire #lorenzo berkshire x reader #theodore nott #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo riddle #regulus black #regulus black x reader

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storiesforthemoonchild · 1 month

Text

Mi Luna Llena | Aitana Bonmatí x Reader

wrote this like a week ago bc I was listening to Luna by Aitana on repeat, but then forgot to post it... enjoy!

“Please don’t cry. If you cry then I’ll cry,” you plead, using the pad of your thumb to wipe the lone tear falling down Aitana’s cheek. She gives you a pitifully sad forced smile, trying her best to keep herself together.

“I will miss you,” she chokes out, her voice laced with emotion. “Only two months?” She knew the answer, it had been the same routine for the last eight months you’d been touring, gone for two months and back for two weeks.

Still you nod, wishing you could comfort her and tell her that time would fly by this time but you can’t. Even one night felt like a lifetime when she wasn’t in your arms. “I’m always here,” you poke softly at her heart, a reminder that even far apart you were hers.

Aitana’s head falls to your shoulder, unable to keep the tears from flowing freely any longer, but she didn’t want you to see. She knew you would feel guilty and that’s not what she wanted. Leaving was always hard on both of you. It hadn’t been easy getting to this place in your relationship, and now that you were the constant distance was your biggest obstacle.

You met Aitana years ago through a mutual friend after coming to Barcelona for University. You were studying music and Aitana was just beginning to break into the Barcelona ranks. It was an unconventional friendship in the beginning, but she was focused, hungry, determined, and that’s exactly why you both got on so well, you shared the same level of passion for your dreams. Despite your late night insomnia that kept you up writing until the morning hours while she prioritized her sleep next to you, the bond you created couldn’t be broken.

The beginning of your adulthood was all spent with Aitana. It was always the two of you, for every label rejection and the smallest of injuries where she was convinced her career was over. You cheered the loudest in the stadium when she scored her first Barcelona goal. She was the first call you made when the record deal finally came, and she scrambled to prepare a celebration between her busy schedule. The beach was always the place you two would go together to regroup and escape reality, it made you fall in love with Barcelona, the people, the culture…Aitana.

However, Aitana hadn’t always been yours to love. Time was never your friend in that category. The moment you would get close to playing her the song she’d excitedly tell you about the new person she was seeing that you had no previous knowledge about. You’d go away for a while after the news, a need to explore in order to create your excuse each time. You’d find solace in the arms of another, but they weren’t as warm as Aitana and their smile not as bright. You’d come back convinced that as long as she was treated well and happy that you also were happy.

It was a vicious cycle that went on for years, one of you always accompanied by someone else. You found yourself away from Barcelona for an extended period, at a point that may have been your darkest. Your return only came by way of your first concert in the place that made your career, she promised to be there.

It wasn’t planned, but when you saw her… for the first time in months and amongst a sea of people, as usual she was brightest. You knew it was now or never for you, so in front of 18,000 people you sang to her. After years of friendship and hopeless pining on both sides, you didn’t have to tell her the song was about her, she knew. Your eyes not leaving hers for a single note as you watched the tear fall from her eye when she got the confirmation the song was indeed about her.

Mi luna llena, you sang, the nickname you gave her early in your friendship on one of your late night trips to the beach. A cheesy line about how she reminds you of the full moon because even when it’s dark she was your light. She called you cheesy and shoved you away but not before a deep blush stained her cheeks and that was enough for you to make sure the nickname stuck.

“I’ll be kissing you back in my dreams,” Aitana mumbles into your now damp shirt, referencing a line in the song she now deemed hers, and it certainly was. Her body pressed tightly in yours as you stroke her back to calm her still trembling frame. She leans back searching for your eyes when you remain quiet, and kisses at the silent tears you had let fall. “Lo siento, do not cry.”

You give her your best smile, “I don’t like to see you upset. This is the last one,” you say, trying to give a little hope in the fact that this was the last stretch of the tour.

“Until the next one,” she bluntly says from her place on top of you, scrunching her face in disappointment of something that’s not even close to being a thought let alone a plan. She buries her head into your neck this time, and you feel the fresh tears coating it.

You’re silent for a moment, allowing her words to sink in and giving you a chance to try and think of a reply. “Maybe not,” the announcement grabs all of her attention as her puffy eyes search for yours in the darkness once more. “Maybe I’ll quit music, follow you around everywhere, wear your name on my back and be the perfect little wag.”

It earns you a soft giggle and it feels like a win to you. Aitana connects your lips softly, “sí, that’s perfect. No me dejes más.”

“Even if I leave I will always come back. You are my light Aitana.” You trace the little freckles on her face, watching as the first genuine smile of the night graces her face.

“Say it,” she demands, shaking her body playfully against yours.

“I love you,” you whisper and she stares at you expectantly, wanting to hear the nickname she once called cheesy but now couldn’t live without hearing. “Mi luna llena.”

“I love when you say it,” she grins teasingly. You blush still a bit bashful about the fact you wrote the song about your friend years before confessing your love. "Only think of me when you sing it," she requests.

"I always only think of you," you half shrug like it's the most obvious thing, and to you it is. Aitana consumed your thoughts especially when you were apart.

Aitana chuckles, always amused by your quick affectionate responses. "Te amo mucho, mi vida," she whispers finally as the emotions settle and you both relax in one another's hold. Distance was hard, and there will always be tears before you separate, but you both knew you'd come back together soon enough.

#aitana bonmati #aitana bonmati x reader #woso fanfics #woso x reader #woso imagine #barca femeni x reader #aitana bonmati imagine

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dhampling · 3 months

Text

both free gn!reader, 2.1k

The first thing Astarion notes is that the blood scent weeping from every pore of your broken body is no longer familiar. It rots.

A burning stench, charred and sour as it licks the back of his nose.

A few moments of petrified silence before his feet carry him to you.

you reject bhaal's greatest gift and pay with your life. to this, your horrified love bears witness.

word count: 2,105

a massive THANK YOU to @scarstothepast for sending this request my way - i hope it does your idea justice <3

as always, read the tags and decide your fate!

Mutilation.

Reduced to nothing but a flaccid gasp of your former self; a marionette in your father’s horrid hand.

Mangled beyond recognition. Bhaal’s rotten plaything. His prodigal children, both dead.

Far past any conceivable beg for reconciliation.

Naught but a smack as your carcass plummets to stone.

The Bhaalist temple is ripe, unsurprisingly.

The smell of a weeping wound seeps from every porous surface. Infection in the mortar, decay in the miry ridges lining the floor; burning flesh amidst flame torches and wails in the middle distance akin to an abattoir.

Yet, Astarion finds comfort there solely in your confidence. Your conviction. Your will to want for better, to reject your savage bloodline. The power you command over that innate desire to harm.

You’ve prepared well for this encounter. You’re aware of the risks, you’ve scoped out the entrance to Orin’s rancid shrine; and you’ve gathered appropriate accomplices from your rooms in the Elfsong to assist you in rescuing the one of you held in her clutches.

He should be a little wary. A little skittish. Observant, always; but there should be a little rattle in his brain telling him to hold back from the rest of you.

The self-preservation instinct developed over two centuries in captivity simply isn’t there.

He’s free, because of you.

He wants to rip the windpipe from the changeling’s throat with his bare teeth.

Stalk her chanting cultists from the shadowy ledges surrounding their sacrificial altar and shoot off innumerable Arrows of Many Targets at their vile heads. He - personally - wants to eviscerate any Bhaalist visage presented to you with brutal slash upon brutal slash until he is positively covered in putrid god-guts and wailing in victory.

A twirl of his dagger. The easy click of his disarm tools. A wink in your direction.

Astarion will save you the way you saved him.

He remembers the way you looked at him with the most hells-bent fury during the Ritual of Profane Ascension, ripped from your side and thrown aloft by Cazador’s wicked pact magic. The resolute wrath with which you slashed your way through the monstrosities between you. Pulling him from Cazador’s circle, his daggers returned; a rage so formidable in your eyes he almost wanted to sink to his knees and propose to you there and then.

You wanted better for him. Better than perpetuating the vicious cycle of abuse starting all those centuries ago with Eravask the Forebear to his very own master.

Master.

He is better.

He is capable of so much more than the brief wavering moment in that foulest of Dungeons, in which he wanted the most grossly depraved of powers for himself. Every single moment of agony, terror; torment, hunger - the way with which you so effusively confronted his paralysing fears and talked him from the brink; from becoming that very same monster in his moment of sheer dread.

You hop with a determined gait down the towering stairs to the walkway. Entrance in sight. Astarion stalks ahead and moves to disarm the trapped plates in your path.

The two of you have spoken about this moment many times, sequestered away in a corner in the Elfsong by candlelight. A bottle of Firewine and tears threatening to brim in your eyes.

You once were a master. Your freak of a demon butler cast in role seemingly as your very own Godey. You have no recollection of it, those you killed in your father’s name, nor how you did it; but the weight of those souls indeterminate in number is abject torture. There is no forgiveness for you. No hope, no conclusion. Just a wide and wavering path to redemption you can never be sure you’ll justly earn.

That awful, plagued creature you were. The night you softly awoke with Scleritas above you and that primal urge to kill the one closest to you through your whole adventure so far. Holding back. Warning him.

The way he sat and spoke with you, smoothed your hair as you bit furiously at his wrists and spat his name with such evil spite. Unafraid of you, no matter the threat.

Two beasts in tandem.

Orin is horrifying in appearance. Pale, skin writhing with blue vein-like whips across her white flesh; armour of crimson jerky and eyes empty.

Lips smacking in wily delight. Bloodkin. Bloodkin.

Astarion watches your confrontation prior to the conflict he knows is to come. He’ll get his moment to brutalise every single one of these sadists, but this is yours.

The ritual sacrifice is spared through your recollection of Bhaal’s terms - you were the one challenged, not your accomplice.

These terms also mean your fight will be one on one. You versus her.

Astarion’s face falls.

Fuck.

However, he takes solace in the fact that he’s come to know your expressions well through your adventures together. Your innate ability to stay one step ahead is what has carried you so far in the first place.

She taunts you, yapping, pointing, aggrandizing; at one point even shifting into you. If the circumstances weren’t so dire he’d probably make a joke about what a fun evening could be had with such a skill.

You remain stoic, mapping out the environment and taking stock of what you can use as leverage. He simply watches you with a mixture of trepidation and admiration resting uneasy in his gut.

"Come to me, Father. Set my flesh to your unholy purpose."

The most grotesque monstrosity replaces Orin. The Slayer.

Astarion watches on as the duel begins.

In light of having prior defeated the undead Visage of Myrkul, Orin alone isn’t a formidable enemy. Your battle-strengthened dexterity is unmatched and with each attempt the current favoured of Bhaal makes to injure you, you simply strengthen your position and hit her harder.

It’s almost enjoyable to watch the two of you dance.

While not easy, it certainly isn’t difficult to gain the upper hand with each attack you make.

The Slayer is almost… clumsy?

Too large to aim her lunges with precision, you dodge her at most turns. Your party watches with baited breath, but small smiles begin to edge onto their weary faces.

The rabid dog and the acrobat.

Each hit you strike weakens her substantially. While she does get some vantage on you and causes a little damage by the sacrificial altar, her limbs in this form are too spindly and make for stupidly easy targets to focus your attacks.

Within minutes, the imposing figure is reduced to little but a pile of gore on the floor.

Among the foetid viscera that once was the changeling you immediately drop to search for her Netherstone-jewelled dagger. Bloodthirst. Hands heavy with still-warm organs as you retrieve your winnings, blood soaking every inch of exposed flesh on your arms. You throw your spoils to the side and hold the altar key to your chest.

A pair of arms wraps around you from behind, startling you for the briefest moment.

Astarion.

“Gods. You idiot! You are positively deranged! You knew that would happen, didn’t you? Did you bring us along just to watch?!” He grins.

Your own smile doesn’t quite reach your eyes. You turn to embrace him fully.

The rest of your party traipse across the tides of blood toward you.

“I had a feeling it might.”

You rest your head on his shoulder in the newborn silence of the temple, tossing the altar key in the vague direction of your party as your hands bloody his armour in a reverent grasp.

“I love you. I just - I love you! You insane thing. You did it!” He laughs loudly, ecstatic.

You see your friends behind him, your eyes meeting theirs in a downcast stare. A nod of understanding.

“I love you.’

You sigh into his chest, splaying your fingers as if to hold more of him.

‘It’s not over yet.”

He pulls away and looks at you, lifting your head softly so your eyes meet his. His neck juts a little.

“Hm?”

His brow quirks inquisitively. The wail of victory depletes into a quivering hum.

The first thing Astarion notes is that the blood scent weeping from every pore of your broken body is no longer familiar. It rots.

A burning stench, charred and sour as it licks the back of his nose.

A few moments of petrified silence before his feet carry him to you.

The Visage of Bhaal is gone.

Your flesh operates as little more than a bag of broken bones, skull cracked and limbs fractured almost beyond recognition. Eyes wide open but unmistakably dead.

He hears your two accomplices bicker in the background as the multiple Scrolls of Revivify retrieved from your pack fail to glow near your remains. They don’t make sense. This doesn’t make sense. Their shouts are crisp in the silence of the temple. Brash. Disturbing.

There should be more noise. There should be shouting, screaming, crying. Crowds of those you’ve saved should be here petitioning whatever God sickens of their stream of bitter tears to bring you back to them.

To him.

He can’t take his eyes off your own. Empty.

If he’d gone through with the ritual, maybe he could have saved you. Turned you. Revived you as his and kept you safe from a fate like this for the rest of eternity.

You’d have despised him for it, but it’d be ok. You’d be awake. You’d be capable of feeling with which to despise him.

No, he mutters. Not that. Not ever.

He is better than that.

He shifts to sit cross legged next to your corpse as your accomplices’ shouting turns to unbridled wailing. Toys with your hair gently so as not to disturb the broken skull below the flesh and whispers to you softly.

“You silly thing. I know you’re still in there, aren’t you? I hope you know how much I love you.’

A quiet, heavy wracked sob.

‘You are so magnificent, little dove. So smart. You did so, so well. I am so very proud of you.”

He doesn’t notice Withers, not until he speaks.

You’re fuzzy as you stand.

He’s frozen on the floor, cross legged and round-eyed. Sharp ears pinned back.

“No.” Astarion chokes.

Your eyes are heavy. They search for him in the blur and you stumble trying to feel for him.

“Astarion?’

Your companions are paralysed.

The stages of grief begin to unravel.

“Astar- Astarion, I can’t see. Where are you?” You sob, reaching out blindly in front of you to search for him in the fog.

“Oh. Oh, my love -’

He looks up at you and blinks away a flood of tears as they threaten to spill.

‘My love. I’m here. I’m here. I’ve got you.”

His feet carry his fraught body to you once again, mindless in their pursuit of you. You’re here. You’re warm, speaking; sobbing, and here.

Name stricken from the archives. Pulled gently into his arms the second he stepped within reach and wrapped the tightest within them you ever have been.

Your party swaddles you in the biggest hug you’ve had in your life.

Astarion doesn’t let go when they do. He buries one hand in your hair, keeps one tightly around your waist. Shakes with sobs.

“You scared me.” He mumbles, letting out a small laugh into the crook of your neck.

You neglect to mention the patch of snot and fresh wet tears now adorning his shoulder.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be.” He whispers, playing with a lock of your hair.

“No. I am. I am so, so sorry.”

“Seeing you like that ruined me, you know.’ He smiles shakily.

You sob once more.

‘I wondered why the whole of Toril wasn’t screaming for you at the moment of your death.’

He moves his head to look at you. Brings his forehead to yours. Kisses you so gently that you wonder if his lips have always felt this soft and his forlorn eyes glisten. Alive and in the arms of your lover.

‘They gave me nothing. Two hundred years of nothing. Useless wretches.’ He laughs and rolls his teary eyes. Sniffs. You smile at him with the dopiest eyes - you think - that have ever existed across the Sword Coast.

‘But the Gods listened to me this time because they knew.’

Astarion coughs.

He smells like home - warm, spiced; familiar. Your eyes meet his now, his grasp on you still firm.

‘You defied your father. You resisted your cruel destiny.’

Another kiss.

‘And now we’re both free.” He whispers.

Time stops for a few precious moments, a silent promise.

No more.

#astarion x reader #angst with a happy ending #my writing #one shot #request #requests open #gn reader #astarion x dark urge #durge

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httpswritings · 3 months

Text

endless cycle — Alexia Putellas x Reader

Warnings: smut, toxic non-relationship

Word count: 886

Summary: Facing reality after giving pleasure to Alexia.

A/N: Second part of vicious cycle.

You were right. That same night, Alexia ended up in your bed. You didn't have any training sessions tomorrow, so you knew it was going to be a very long night.

Her lips devoured every centimeter of your body as you grabbed her blonde hair with your hand.

“You love it when I grab your hair like this, don't you?” With a few bites on your collarbone, she said, “You already know the answer.”

Feeling the warmth her body exuded was something else.

Alexia had a thing for kissing you on the tip of your nose and on both of your cheeks. You usually wondered if she had been like this with her previous partners. If this was part of the way she made love or if you were lucky enough to be the first one to experience that, “I love your kisses, Ale.” You noticed her smile growing wider as she was focused on giving you a few pecks on your left cheek. “You're so adorable, amor. Just how I like it.” You wish she would've told you how much she loved you. You've never heard Alexia say those words, not even to her closest teammates.

“You know what I need, right, mi chica?” You did, so you proceeded to stabilize yourself on the bed with your back on the mattress. “Can I ask you why you like riding my face so much?”

Alexia blushed. Wait? Alexia blushed? “I don't know. You know how to make me enjoy being on top of your face.” You felt satisfied with her answer but still decided to push her a little more over the edge. “So it has to do with me and not because you enjoy the posture itself? Have you ever done it with other women?” Alexia sat down on the lower part of your stomach as she caressed that part of your body. She was fully naked on top of you, with her messy blonde hair falling over her breasts. “I have done it before, but you're the first one who has made me enjoy it to the fullest. I used to think that it was a posture that required a lot of effort, but with you, it's different. You know how to touch a woman overall.”

You tapped your lips with your left hand as a sign for her to sit down on them. Alexia placed both of her thighs on both sides of your head. You gave her thighs a few quick kisses, winning some giggles from Alexia. Every time she laughed during sex, it was more difficult to not tell her how much you loved her and how beautiful she looked. That intimacy you had been building over the months.

She pressed her body down on your lips as you began to move them across her folds. “See, this is what I'm talking about. You know exactly how to make me feel so good,” she said as she moved her hips slowly, grinding on your tongue.

After a while, she warned you, “Shit, I'm coming already, mi amor. Don't stop!” Alexia came right after, feeling her body tremble. She got off you and started kissing your neck, but you made her stop. “I don't feel like it, Ale. Maybe another day.” Alexia got worried, as it wasn't the first time that you had some trouble carrying on, especially after you had given her an orgasm. “Mi amor, is there something wrong? We aren't going to do anything if you don't want to, and you don't have to justify yourself. I just want to know what's happening and if you need something from me.”

You needed her. You had her sexually. She was everything you ever wanted sexually: caring, communicative, easy-going, etc. But you craved having her at home as you woke up. Looking at her after getting out of the shower. Making breakfast for her. Getting home and seeing her already there. You craved her as a girlfriend, not just as a sexual partner and as a teammate. “No, it's fine, Ale. You can leave now if you want to.” Alexia felt a little bit pushed back by your tone. She gave herself two seconds to breathe before she snapped. “No. I'm not leaving. Not until you tell me what's going on with you. It's not the first time this has happened, and I want you to enjoy it as much as I do. If you don't enjoy it anymore, please keep in mind that we can stop doing it.”

That last sentence made you close your eyes as if a knife had been stabbed in your stomach. You realized she could stop whatever this was whenever she wanted; you couldn't. You felt so captivated by Alexia; you'd made love to her every night, even if that implied losing her in the morning. Making love to her was the purest act of love you felt you could do for her. “Alexia, leave. I'm not really in the mood. That's it.” She knew you were lying, but she didn't want to force you with her presence. “Okay, I'll leave, but please know that I'll be there whenever you need me.”

You were head-over-heels for her. That comment made you soften a little bit, and you rushed to kiss her temple. “I know, silly.”

#alexia putellas imagine #alexia putellas #alexia putellas x reader #woso #woso imagine #woso x reader

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yan-lorkai · 21 days

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How about an undertaker with a fem Vampire s/o?

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ A/N: He is such a silly little guy, I love him. And I love this rq too since I absolutely adore vampires! Hope u like it too!

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Warnings: Yandere content, fem reader, very brief mention of the bizarre dolls, otherwise, this is just fluff <3

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Undertaker has seen thousands of immortal creatures, however, this is the first time he has seen a vampire. And even more so, one as beautiful as you. As they say in the legends, your skin is so soft to the touch, your eyes dangerous and treacherous, your beautiful smile showing your sharp fangs. And he feels enchanted by you. But what enchants him the most are your jokes, even if they aren't good, they make him laugh until his stomach hurts and he cries.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ As a Shinigami he knows how immoral it is to harvest a soul before its time, but if you want to kill some people to feed on them, Undertaker wouldn't stop you. Instead, he would cover your tracks so that no one would know who the killer was. Or, if you don't hunt people but animals, he would help you, even though he didn't have that much experience with traps.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Loves watching you hypnotize people to do something you want or just for funsies. You and Undertaker usually play with people as if they were your dolls, just another harmless play. But you two do get reckless sometimes.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ He buys the best dresses to accentuate your beauty. Then he praises you, he would praise you even if you were covered from head to toe with blood. He might even get down on one knee to propose.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Absolutely melts when you kiss his scar, he might or might not tell you the story about how he got it.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ He makes you skull bracelets and necklaces, so you know that he is never a part. And it's imbued with his own shinigami magic so he knows where you are. Is never a coincidence when he met you at alleyways or crowded places, he wasn't just passing by, he know you never would do something to spoil your relationship with him but he is a clingy Shinigami that likes to drap himself on top of you like a cat and to fill your face with kisses.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ On the surface level he is sweet and caring, and he truly is, he loves spoiling you and acting silly to make you laugh - your laugh makes him giggle so this turn into a vicious cycle. But he is just as possessive as much as he gentle with you. He'll do anything you asked, anything you wanted, but only if he can get you whole, only if you depend on him and think only of him. Even if you don't, Undertaker has his ways to do things.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ After a while, when you two get serious, he is much more open about his past with you. He even let's you hold his scythe and absolutely love the look on your face, it's so precious how you spin it around and carefully analyze the skull at the top. You ask him tons of questions on it and about shinigamis. If you're lucky he might even tell you his true name.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ To prevent anyone from speaking ill of you, Undertaker has you working on the mortuary as his assistant. Though he hates when that butler's stare lingers on you a little longer. You're his beloved, you're beautiful but people shouldn't look at you like this, even worse, that demon shouldn't even be near you. Undertakes gets impossibly jealous when he and the little brat are gone. And of course you have to be the one to placate his burning heart, to ease his worries or else you have to deal with a cranky god of death.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ You sometimes help him make his bizarre dolls and he loves it so much, guiding you to every step and explaining why he is creating them and for what purpose. It's a little strange but when you two are bonding over anything, it's bounded to be this way. Death surrounds you two daily and now it seems like a good ol' friend, welcoming.

#yandere black butler #yandere kuroshitsuji #yandere undertaker #yandere undertaker x reader #black butler #black butler undertaker #undertaker x reader #undertaker x y/n #undertaker x you #tw yandere #female reader #lorkai headcanons

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1989butcher · 5 months

Text

Apple Pie

dean winchester x reader

you try all day to bake a pie for dean

wc: 1.3k, complete and utter fluff

Wiping the sweat from your brow, you slid another pie crust into the oven. After shutting the oven door with your elbow, you turned to find Cas in the doorway. “Please, don’t make me try any more. I cannot taste it, Y/N.” you half-laugh and sigh. “I’m sorry. Honestly, if this one doesn’t turn out good, I am just going to toss everything and pretend it never happened.” Castiel looked at you, a confused look plastered on his face.

“Why would you throw it all away?” He asks, making his way towards the counter, his eyes going over the mess of cooking ingredients and cookware all over the place. His eyes make his way to you, your apron covered in flour, hair all tousled and falling out of the bun it was put in hours ago. You had clearly exerted loads of effort.

You begin to run the sink, bringing over some spoons and dishes that were covered in various flavors. “I don’t know, it’s embarrassing I guess. Like, how am I unable to bake a pie?” Cas almost cuts you off, “You’ve baked five pies, I think.” You shake your head, turning to him.

“I’ve tried to bake about five pies. And not one of them was good enough. I’m not asking for your pity, I’m just, saying I guess.” you reply wryly. He shrugs, now assisting you with cleaning the dishes. The two of you cleaned in silence, since he wasn’t sure how to comfort you or even wanted to be comforted.

He eventually excused himself to the war room to continue a case he had been working on, leaving you to stare at the pie, watching it slowly bake in the oven. You had placed a chair in front of the oven, just staring into the void, basking in your embarrassment and failure. Then, you began beating yourself up for being upset over not being able to bake. It was a vicious cycle.

Only to be broken by a warm laugh. “Now, now, now, what do we have here!” Dean exclaimed. He just about floated down the stairs and into the kitchen. Although those first few pies didn’t exactly taste good, they still smelled it. You blinked hard and turned around to see him. His hair is a bit flat, wearing a worn green flannel with a pair of blue jeans. But the largest smile was plastered across his face.

Dean’s arms were outstretched for you to fall into, pulling you into a deep hug. His hand instinctively went to the back of your head to cradle, kissing your forehead as you hummed. He breathed in your hair, to find it speckled with flour and something sticky. But you smelled good.

You smelled like pie.

He licked his lips and pulled you out of the hug, you whining a bit in retort. You look up to him with your doe eyes, his weakness. Dean gave a smug smile before pulling you in for a quick kiss. Your lips tasted of apple with a hint of cinnamon, making his heart soar.

Dean pulled back from the kiss, his hands on your shoulders. He gave them a slight squeeze, trying to come up with something clever to say. “Oh, please, Winchester. I know exactly what you’re thinking.”

He shook his head, laughing a bit and sliding his hands down your arms. The warm taste of apple from your lips still lingered. “You gonna tell me about this?” He nods his head to the rest of the room. The sink was filled with dishes, although cleaned. But the counter was still covered in crusts and apples, and tons of flour.

You felt your cheeks flushed red and your gaze hit the floor and his boots. You shook your head, laughing a bit. “No way.” your voice is light, trying to hide your frustration. The last thing you wanted was for him to walk in the door to this mess, not even knowing if what you were attempting to make was good enough.

Dean’s smile dropped a bit, his finger lifting your chin to meet his gaze again. “Come on, sweetheart. It’s not like you burned the place down.” his joke struck a nerve with you. He was an excellent cook, and all you wanted to do was repay the favor. He takes your hand as you walk over to the counter, covered in the mess.

“Ta da!” You exclaim sarcastically. Dean doesn’t look away from you, knowing you are seconds away from spilling out your guts. “Y/N-” he starts. “I’ve tried all day to bake one pie. One god damn pie. I have gone to the store twice today Dean. Twice! Are you aware we live in a small town? There’s like a couple hundred people so when you go to the store twice and buy the same things, the cashier is going to notice. Even better that it was the same person.

You would think as an adult, I would be able to bake a single apple pie for my boyfriend. But no. I can make rock hard crust,” you pick up and toss one of the burnt crusts on the counter down. “And mediocre filling. I honestly don’t think there’s enough apples in the world for me to be able to get this recipe right.”

As your rant continued, Dean looked at you with nothing but love. He had no idea he could feel this way. He loved you for trying so hard. You didn’t have to bake a pie. Honestly, you still have a pulse and wanting to be within 10 feet of him was enough. As you went on about your day and all your baking attempts, it made him realize how much you loved him.

And the word boyfriend rang through his ears. The two of you never defined anything. Sleeping together for years, living together, you had even convinced him to go on a weekend trip for fun once. But to his face, you had never called him your boyfriend. All those nights spent in each other’s arms, yet afraid to label anything to make the other run away.

But there you stood, what you would call a complete mess but he thinks you are prettiest this way.

Whatever you were saying at this point, something about the oven being your enemy, was in one ear and out the other. Dean pulled you in for a deep kiss, both hands on either side of your face, stopping you mid-sentence.

“I love you.” he said, breaking the kiss. You pulled back just enough to look into his green eyes, that somehow had a little more sparkle to them since you saw him this morning. “I love you, too.” you smiled, rubbing your thumb on his cheek. Staring into each other’s eyes, the words “my girl” slipped Dean’s lips. Heat rose in your chest as you pulled him in again, this time his tongue slipping in your mouth.

Right on time, the oven dings. The pie is done, and so is the moment. You slide out of his grasp and sigh. “Don’t get your hopes too high.” He watched you take the pie out, some apple oozing from the crust. The smell alone sent him over the edge.

“I can’t believe you went through all this trouble for me.” he said quietly, almost as if he didn’t want you to hear. You raise an eyebrow. “Dean, I’ve pretty much died for you, yet this is something you can’t believe.”

It was the mundaneness of it all. The normalcy. He felt there was no room in his life for it. That he didn’t deserve it no matter how badly he longed for it. He shrugged it off, not quite ready to dive into that. But more ready to dive into what laid in front of him.

“This one actually looks edible!” you sigh in relief, inspecting the pie closer. Dean scoots behind you, placing his hands on your hips.

“I’ll tell you what else looks edible.”

#dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x yn #dean x reader #supernatural #supernatural fanfic #dean winchester fanfic #dean winchester fluff #supernatural fluff #jensen ackles

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writingquestionsanswered · 25 days

Note

"Probably one of my biggest writing-related takeaways of 2023 was the brain science behind being overwhelmed by writing. So often, we put so much pressure on ourselves to meet goals, and get so frustrated with ourselves when we fail, that we end up making writing time something that fills us with anxiety. So our brains perceive that activity as a threat, which makes us want to avoid it."

I'd love to learn more about this cause it's my biggest problem when it comes to writing. The avoidance of the task, but it also manifests also as feeling overwhelmed by writing a long story/novel.

Some Brain Science Behind Avoidance

I encountered this idea of fear-based avoidance in a few workshops and summits over the past year, but I have to give a shout out to author/coach Monica Hay whose "Overcome Writer's Resistance Bootcamp" explained it the best. I can't find my notes so I'm going from memory here, but the gist of it was that our brains are hard-wired to avoid things that make us feel fearful or uneasy. This is an evolutionary throwback to when those instinctual feelings helped us steer clear from danger. As I remember Monica putting it, "Don't go that way, there are cheetahs there that will eat us."

So... how does this apply to avoidance of writing?

When we heap unreasonable goals and deadlines on ourselves, and berate ourselves for falling short of them, we inadvertently turn writing into a stressful activity. So, when we sit down to write, our brain picks up on that stress and says, "Don't go that way, cheetahs will eat us," and your gut instinct tells you to avoid this stressful activity at all cost. And then it becomes kind of a vicious cycle because you feel even worse because you're avoiding writing, and that makes you feel more overwhelmed and makes writing more stressful, and well... you can see the problem.

The solution? De-stress the writing process for yourself as much as you can. Start by de-stressing yourself when you sit down to write... take a relaxing walk first, do some yoga or a meditation exercise, or try some grounding techniques. See if you can do some things to make your writing environment more relaxing and inviting. Put on some soft lighting and relaxing music, use your favorite method to lightly scent the air, grab your favorite drink and snack. Then, just try to move the needle forward in any way you can.

My suggestions: try editing a sentence. Maybe see if you can add a paragraph or two. Don't think about deadlines or word count or what others are doing. Just focus on adding something to the page, even if it's changing a word or adding a sentence. Don't push yourself. Congratulate yourself on whatever progress you made. Ultimately, if you do this every day, the stress should start to melt away and writing becomes an activity that your brain no longer tells you to avoid.

Another suggestion: try to avoid setting arbitrary deadlines, or if you have to set a deadline, take a look at your schedule/calendar and be really honest about how much time you actually have to write. Because so often what happens is we say, "I want to finish this 80k word draft in eight weeks..." but the reality is we're not going to write all 56 of those days. In fact, when we take an honest look...

-3 days per week for days with both class and work = 32 days -5 days for a cruise next month = 27 days -1 day for bestie's birthday celebration = 26 days -Sundays because that's hiking day = 18 days Suddenly, that eight weeks is actually only 18 days... and that's not even taking account things that come up unexpectedly. But, let's say you do get to write all 18 days, and let's say you know you can commit three hours a day to writing but you'll probably take two ten-minute brakes... so 48 hours worth of writing. But here's the problem: you know on a good hour, you're probably only going to write 1200 words. And guess what: 1200 words per hour over 48 hours is only 57,600 words... far short of your 80k goal... and that's assuming you get to write all 18 days and hit 1200 words every hour you write. In other words... you've set yourself an impossible deadline, and when you fall short of it without understanding why, you're going to be disappointed in yourself. And that's why it's so, so important to be honest about the time you have and how much you can reasonably accomplish within that time. Also: just don't be hard on yourself. It will never make you write faster, more, or better.

I hope you can use this to overcome your own resistance to writing! ♥

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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seungmoonandstars · 23 days

Text

𝐼’𝓂 𝓈𝑜𝓇𝓇𝓎 𝐼 𝓌𝒶𝓈𝓃’𝓉 𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒

Kim Seungmin/female reader

wc: 1.8k

synopsis: someone is cheating // pt 1

rating: mature/angst ꩜ (contains: aggression, confrontation)

⤜ · · ♡ · · →

3pm

SM: I won’t be back until Sunday, love, but I’ll call you tonight before you fall asleep! Hopefully I can catch you before you do

YN: it’s okay, Min. I’ll be here, and I’ll be up for a while

SM: I’ll text first just in case

YN: ♥️

12:30am

SM: sleeping?

11am

SM: I’m sorry I missed you last night, we can try again today!

2pm

SM: babe, you know I hate double triple quadruple texting you. Are you okay?

· · ♡ · ·

Saturday, 10:30pm

Seungmin struggles for a moment with his key, but manages without dropping his bags. The door swings open, and he’s greeted by a dark foyer, a dark living room, and a single faint light coming from the kitchen. And it’s too quiet—no tv left on, no music playing to fill the silence, like usual. It’s a little warm inside, and it was a warm day, but Seungmin can feel a breeze coming in from one open window.

“I’m home,” he calls out softly, and his voice carries down the hall and into the open door of the bedroom. But the apartment is empty. You’re not here.

He looks down at his phone, opens his texts, and types. His face falls slowly as he figures out another message to send to you. Seungmin has been away a lot lately, and things have felt strained, but you always answer, eventually, even if it’s hours later. You’ve never been silent for more than a day, and now it’s going on two.

sm: hi love, I’m home early

After making sure you’re not just sound asleep in bed, he starts to type one more message. But he stops himself, and instead he starts to unpack his things.

A few minutes later, his phone buzzes.

yn: hey, I’m so sorry sweetie. I’ll be home soon. I went out with some friends and my phone died

He sighs, relieved to finally hear from you. But he doesn’t reply right away; he waits until he empties his bag, showers, get dressed, and makes himself tea.

The lock clicks and the door swings open just as he reaches for his phone.

“Minnie!” You run to him and he opens his arms to hold you against him. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here.”

He fights with questioning your absence—not from the house, but from answering his texts, and decides to wait. Right now, he wants to sit down with you and relax; talk; catch up. Maybe that will reveal the answers without him having to ask—he hopes it will, because it’s slowly starting to eat at him.

· · ♡ · ·

“We traveled all day today, a lot of driving, so it was a little hectic.” He curls up on the couch and hugs his knees tights to his chest. “I missed talking to you last night.”

“I guess I was more tired than I thought”

“But I’m here now”

Seungmin’s little nod, his hesitant smile…you missed him so much, and you’re not sure you can even begin to tell him just how much. You crawl across the couch and kneel in front of him. “You’re here”

The kiss you give him is returned, but it’s as hesitant as his smile.

“What’s wrong, Min?”

He shakes his head, “nothing…I’m okay, uhm…”

“You can tell me, you know that”

Yes, he can. The two of you tell each other everything, and as far as Seungmin knows, there are no secrets between you. So why does he suddenly feel so uneasy? “Just too tired to think straight. Maybe we should go to bed.”

“Yeah, let’s go to bed. Clean sheets and everything, all ready for you.”

· · ♡ · ·

Weeks pass, and eventually, Seungmin feels better—less worried, less unsure about things. It’s not completely gone, though. Every hour that passes without a reply from you makes his heart sink a little more. But then you do reply, and everything is fine for a while. Communication between you has changed…just a little bit, but enough.

It’s turning into a vicious cycle, and it’s not good for his head right now. He feels distracted from his work.

Seungmin video calls you on his way home a few days later. You don’t answer.

Coming home is like deja vu. Dark, though not quite as dark this time. The tv is on, and so is the bedroom light. Seungmin can hear the shower running when he closes the door. He’s relieved he doesn’t have to worry like last time, and for some reason, even though so much is still eating at him, being home feels good, and everything feels okay. You’re home and waiting for him, and maybe you haven’t been in much of a talking mood lately.

That’s all this is. Everything is good.

He hears his phone buzz and feels for it in his back pocket, but it’s not him. Yours is sitting on the kitchen counter, right next to the coffee you were drinking not long ago. It doesn’t seem out of place of him to look at the notification on your screen, because he’s done it before—you don’t hide anything from each other. But this time he isn’t sure of what he’s seeing. It’s not a text notif, or Instagram, or twitter. It’s not KakaoTalk, which he knows you use, just not much. This one is from Line, and the sender is a name you don’t recognize: 민수

Maybe it’s a coworker, or a client. You know so many people through your work, and Seungmin knows that. But the message is right there…two of them.

민수: I hope you had a good time...I did! I’ll see you again soon

The second message is a ❤️. The same red heart you always send to him. Seungmin feels every drop of blood drain from him, and he feels like he’s falling, but he’s not. His feet are somehow still flat on the floor, and his hand trembles as he touches your screen—he wants to see it and read it one more time, just in case he read it wrong.

The shower stops, and in the time it takes you to get yourself dressed, Seungmin doesn’t move. He’s rooted to this spot, and he’s sure if he takes a single step, he’ll crumble, and he won’t be able to put himself back together again.

“Minnie?”

Your voice echoes in his head.

“Seungmin, baby, you’re home…what—“

He sees your eyes move and glance at your phone on the counter, and then they’re back on his.

“What’s wrong?”

Why can’t he speak? His mouth drops open and nothing comes out, but inside he’s screaming, picking something up and throwing it against the wall, jumping on you and shaking you until you tell him…

“Why?” Is all he manages.

“Why what? Is everything okay? Seungmin, you look so pale…”

His fist clenches behind his back. “I know I haven’t been around much lately…more than lately. But I’m trying. I try so hard to be with you…when I’m away. I thought I was…” he stops and takes a stuttering breath, and his nails dig so hard into his palm, it feels like he’s breaking skin, “…doing okay.”

“Seungmin, you do better than okay”

“Where have you been? You never answer my calls anymore. You hardly text back, and when you do…it’s hours later.”

“You’re right, I’ve been really bad at this for the last few weeks”

“Who is Minsoo?”

There's silence for far longer than either of you intend, but breaking it is impossible. Seungmin said it out loud, he had to, and now things will play out exactly as they should.

But the silence is as much of an answer as he needs. He turns to your phone and picks it up, looks at the messages again. The heart was sent an hour ago, right after you left wherever you were, got home, made coffee, got in the shower. Seungmin wonders what clothes are lying on the bathroom floor right now, and his eyes sting with tears at what his mind creates.

The metal frame of the phone gives a little under his grip, and it gives in completely when it meets the wall between you. The sound is intense—the crunch of glass, the crumble of drywall. Seungmin is strong when he’s not angry, and right now he’s more than that. He’s pissed, and he’s confused.

“Why?” His hand runs through his hair and stays there as he stares at the remnants of your phone; one half of the lifeline between you when he’s gone. “Answer me.”

You jump again, despite the eerie softness of his voice. You have no answer for him, and even if you did, it wouldn’t change a thing right now. “Minnie, I love you.”

“You love me?”

He takes a few steps toward you, and you move back just as many. Seungmin has never given you any reason to fear him, and he’s never argued or fought. You don’t know anyone nearly as level-headed and calm as him, but you’ve also never done anything this stupid before.

“I do, more than anything.”

This time you stay put when he closes the gap, because something has to happen, and there’s nowhere else to go. It’s you, it’s Seungmin, and it’s the wall behind you.

His hands come up, close around your cheeks, and his thumbs run over them so sweetly, “you love me…but, you fucked someone else?”

“I didn’t. Seungmin, I didn’t. Please.”

“You've been ignoring me for another man. Pouring yourself out to him? Telling him things, telling him how you feel being all alone in bed all the time because your boyfriend is never here for you.”

“No. No, Seungmin.”

His touch on you tightens, just for a moment, as he matches the intensity of your gaze. And then he relaxes and lets go. You stay quiet as he grabs his bag and disappears into the bedroom, and you brace yourself for a slam that doesn’t come. There may be no coming back after this, and you know that. It didn’t cross your mind what might happen if a night like this came, because you weren’t sure if what you were doing, at least initially, was that wrong. But things spiraled, and you spiraled with them, and you let your isolation get the better of you.

You should have stopped when the messages got more frequent; when you felt guilty texting Seungmin at the same time as him; ignoring a phone call when you were with him.

Seungmin flies by you and heads for the door.

“Please don’t leave, Minnie, I need you”

“You need me?” He pulls his shoes on and takes his time re-lacing them. “I needed you, too. Every time I text you goodnight, or facetime you, I do it for a reason.”

“I know. I fucked up.”

“Because it’s lonely being away, even when I’m surrounded by people. Did I ever tell you that?”

“No”

“That much is my fault then, but I didn’t think I had to tell you.” He picks up both of his bags and opens the door.

“Where are you going?”

“My dorm,” he looks back once more with his hand on the doorknob, but says nothing.

“I love you…I love you, Min”

“Goodnight”

#kim seungmin x reader #seungmin x reader #kim seungmin x y/n #seungmin x y/n #kim seungmin fanfic #kim seungmin #seungmin fanfic #kim seungmin angst #seungmin angst #skz seungmin x reader #skz seungmin #skz x reader #skz angst #skz fanfic #stray kids seungmin #stray kids angst

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talaok · 7 months

Note

Hey, I have this huge exam next week, it’s the biggest exam of my life so far and I’m stressed af. I consider myself a chill person but I’m feeling beyond anxious all the time and I have never felt this stressed in my life. It’s so hard to take care of myself rn like I don’t feel like eating but I have to because I’m nauseous and then I can’t find anything I’d like to eat and it makes me more anxious IT’S A VICIOUS CYCLE I SWEAR AND APPARENTLY I HAVE TO EAT EVERY FOUR HOURS EVERY DAY BC I’M A HUMAN??

anyway, sorry for oversharing. I was gonna ask if you could write sth with pedro taking care of stressed reader, making sure she eats and is hydrated, filing up her coffee, cuddling with her when she has crying sessions wiping her tears and telling her everything’s gonna be okay and he’s gonna be there for her with every step no matter what. I literally crave comfort right now, and I’d be so grateful if you could write something 🥹

I love how caring and kind you are with asks, thank you so so so much for being here. Love you 💕💕💕💕

pairing: Pedro pascal x reader

a/n: Im so so sorry love, im one hundred percent sure youll do great, but in the meantime, i hope this will make you feel a little bit better, love you💗💗 (this ask did skip the line bc if i posted it two weeks from now it wouldn't have made any sense)

He didn't know how or when, but all of a sudden, all you did was study.

And at first, he didn't really think anything of it, you'd told him about the exam and about how important it was, so he understood, but what he didn't expect, was just how much you'd be studying.

You raised your head only to answer him, and even when you did, it was monosyllabic.

"Have you eaten anything?"

"no"

"did you drink any water today?"

"not really"

And no matter how many times he'd tell you how bad for you that was, the next time he asked, the answers were always the same. And that's exactly why by the second day, he had stopped asking and instead, started doing.

He had conceived a whole plan of attack.

For the days when he, unfortunately, had to go to work, he left two full water bottles and a glass on your desk, and an already cooked lunch in the fridge, so that all you needed to do was heat it up in the microwave.

But on the days when he didn't have to go to work, he took it upon himself to become your personal assistant, and your worst nightmare altogether.

No matter how much you complained, he forced you to take a break at least every two hours, he made sure you were drinking the water he poured into your glass, he made you coffee every time you asked, (always only after having reminded you that you didn't need more coffee but more sleep) and finally, he cooked or ordered all of your favorite foods in the hopes that it would make you feel more like eating (which never seemed to work).

Today, thankfully, he got to stay home, so for the thousand time, he walked into the studio to check in on you.

"hey there" he smiled, watching you half-heartedly wave at him before returning your full attention to your book "I brought you a snack," he said, placing the apple slices on your desk and making a soft laugh flee your mouth.

He had turned into a soccer mom, but god it felt good to hear you laugh again.

He got behind you to start gently massaging what he was sure must have been sore shoulders.

"how's it going?"

"bad" you grumbled, relaxing the tiniest bit at his touch

"I'm sorry" he murmured, leaning down to kiss the crown of your head "you wanna take a break?"

"It's not been two hours yet"

"I know, but I think it would be good for you" he explained "We could take a walk maybe"

You sighed, closing your eyes "I can't"

"sweetheart" he cooed, crouching down to be at your level and turning your chair towards him "you're gonna burn yourself out if you continue like this"

"I know but..." you glanced back at your notes "I can't fail this exam"

"and you're not gonna" he immediately reassured you

He watched something happen behind your eyes,

"not if I keep taking breaks"

"baby-" he murmured, taking your hand in his and watching as your mouth curved downwards for the quickest moment

"I just-I'm so anxious," you said, your voice breaking "I-I can't fail- I just can't"

"hey hey hey" he cooed, his eyes looking for yours "Sweetheart, it's ok"

And that was the moment you couldn't hold it anymore, all the stress and fear you'd been bottling up for days started spilling from your eyes.

"n-no it's not, I-I... I don't even know, I just..." you sobbed, and when you looked at him, he swore he heard his heart break " I feel like shit"

"sugar..." he murmured, wasting no time wrapping his arms around you "I'm so sorry baby," he spoke gently to your ear as his hands stroked your hair and back

You hid your face in his chest as you cried all you had to cry.

"it's all gonna be alright sweetheart, I promise"

But at that, for some reason, you only started to cry harder.

"ok this is it, hold onto me"

And you had just the time to frown, before he had picked you up and walked out of the room and into the living room.

"w-what are you doing?"

"forcing you to take a break"

"I could have walked" A small smile appeared on your lips, and with it, a small wave of relief washed over Pedro's body.

"You've done enough today" he explained, sitting down on the couch with you, and in less than a moment, your whole body had clung to his.

Your left leg was draped over his, and your head was on his chest, as he held you close with both his arms.

"y/n, you're not gonna fail" he started gently "You're the smartest person I've ever met"

"That's not true" you muttered, your words muffled by his body

"yes it is" he insisted "And baby I promise you, that everything is gonna be alright" he swore, slowly running a hand through your hair "and that no matter what, I'm gonna be here for you, ok?"

It took a moment for you to respond, but after a few beats of silence, a muffled "ok" made its way to Pedro's ears.

"yeah?" he asked, again, encouraging you to meet his gaze.

"yeah" you sniffled, as you finally looked up

"Feeling better?"

"yes" you nodded "Thank you"

He tightened his hug, as he bent down, to ghost your mouth "I love you baby" he kissed you "Whatever you need, I'm always gonna be here for you"

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dxmoness · 5 months

Text

♡ · SAFE AND SOUND · ♡

Funny how arguments start sometimes, don't you think? One minute you're talking, the next you are screaming at each other for a disagreement between both of your cherished opinions. Most time these things resolve quickly and people return being friends more.

But not even that kind of resolution could ever happen between you and your rival, Callisto Regulus.

The worst part is you always manage to be in the same place at the same time. An endless and vicious cycle. You two snapping at each other had been the coverage of the whole time you two are placed together.

It's obvious that he hates you, but you yourself like him in a more than friends sort of sense. You just didn't have the courage to tell him so. Especially when he seems to loathe you with all his being.

So you kept it in. No words spoken to each other about possible romance sparking in between or even marriage towards anyone at all really. No words at all.

Until there was another ball and being your family's favourite trophy to use, you were there. Your dress caught the eye of many of the guests. The reason? It was backless and looked almost inappropriate to be wearing in public.

You could hear the angered mutters and could feel the pressure of disapproving glances all around. Your dress had been tailored by your father for reasons unknown to you, but now you knew. It was to humiliate you.

Despite the gazes, you did your best to remain the way you normally are. Talking with your so-called friends who were making you uncomfortable with their many remarks, and conversing with the other nobles who spoke about being cautious with what you wore from now on.

With all the ruckus you caused, you were exhausted from continuously explaining. But the final blow was hit when you heard. “So, you're the reason why everyone's so argumentative today. I should've known.” Your eyes meet those smug crimson ones. He chuckles. “What’s with the face? Didn't expect me to be here to see your...dress?” A frown flits on your lips.

“Leave me alone, Your Highness. I am not in the mood.” You quickly hiss at him before he makes a ‘tsk’ noise.

“Is that a way to greet royalty, doll?” The doll nickname only did so much as wound you even more. “Greet me properly and I'll think about it.” His famous smirk appears on his lips. You felt a flutter in your stomach at that.

'Now’s not the time!' Your mind scolded your thoughts as you nod twice. “Greetings, Your Highness. It is an honour being blessed by your presence.” Your courteous tone transitions into an annoyed one at the nearest end of your almost convincing greeting.

Nonetheless it brings a laugh out of the crowned prince. He waves aside the merest thought of your annoyance and pulls you to him. On a normal basis, this would annoy you greatly and you'd push him away, but right now it is what you needed.

He pulls you close enough as he whispers to your ear. “Why are you wearing this like a pretty doll?” It makes you shudder when you're called a pretty doll.

“My father...bought the dress.” She says quietly, her frame remains frozen in his arm that was wrapped around her waist tightly.

“I see. I don't like it.” He mutters. “You look like an attention seeking whore, and that is what you are not.” His voice and words reassured her that she isn't.

“I don't either." Her admittance brings a grin on his lips. "What?"

"First time we've ever agreed on something. We should celebrate." His words bring a laugh out of your lips. It startles him, but only for a moment.

It feels nice...nice to laugh with someone about this mistake. Your body leans against his as he aided your weight. "You're so embarrassed you've practically agreed to come in my arms, hm?" He chuckles.

"That's alright, come here." He hugs you, but not too tightly. He is aware of your discomfort still. There's a silence.

Warmth...

⁺ 　　 ﹒　　thank you for reading , until next time ♡　　 ﹒　　 ⁺

☆◞ copyright﹕ dxmoness. do not copy or translate my work ! ⌕﹒disclaimer﹔i do not write for characters that i own (unless stated).

₊˚ taglist ⌗﹕@lethwal × . . .

#manhwa #manhwa x reader #manhwa x you #manhwa x female reader #x female reader #x female y/n #x afab reader #death is the only ending for the villainess #death is the only ending for the villainess x reader #ditoeftv #ditoeftv x reader #callisto regulus x reader #callisto x reader #callisto regulus #{ ♡ heartstrings — fics }

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musclefilia · 9 months

Text

Miguel O'Hara Headcanons (SFW/NSFW)

SFW

I honestly think the Miguel we see in ASTV is totally romantically constipated. yeah, he's probably dated a few women, but it never went too far with them.

He can flirt, but he isn't really sure how to settle down or get comfortable. He likes his solitude, it allows him to recharge and get his work done, but also hates being so alone, a vicious cycle really.

At some point, he would probably push aside the idea of any relationships, becoming too busy with his work and the spider-society. Despite being surrounded by others that he should connect with, he still feels so alienated. You'd have to be a bit pushy with him to actually get through, he's very hard headed.

Don't take his attitude too personally, he might try to shield himself off, but really he needs some support. He'll be grateful for it later, even if he doesn't know it now.

NSFW

Very hot take, but I also think he's a virgin. He's made out before yeah, but it's never really gotten to below the belt. It's not like he can't get laid, he just has never found "the one" he's willing to open up to.

Pretty vanilla in his favorite positions, prefers missionary/most positions like missionary. Doggy and such are sill on the table, but he prefers to be able to look at your face while you guys go at it.

Be prepared to be covered in bite marks/hickeys. Complain all you like about the obvious teeth prints he leaves behinds, he won't even pretend that he cares.

Blowing him is sorta awkward the first few times. It's hard to tell if you're doing a good job because all you hear from him are slight grunts. Gets more vocal the more comfortable he is, praising you and such.

Great at eating you out. Knows how to multitask with his fingers and tongue, which never fail to make you feel good. His smoldering eye contact often sends you over the edge. Looooves making you squirt, feels like an achievement to him.

Aftercare is generally quiet but sweet. He'll hold you against his chest, or start a bath for the two of you. No matter how many rounds you guys go, it always feels like you're exhausted and he's barely tired.

#miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara #female reader #x female reader #x reader

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perfectsunlight · 9 months

Text

(𝟔𝟔) - 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐮𝐧𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐫𝐲

𝗐𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌: none

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬: 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮

jimin knew she messed up badly.

she knew she was screwed the moment you walked out on her in the middle of your breakup argument. the ache in her chest was digging a hole straight into her heart, gnawing at her soul as she stood there, watching you disappear past the door.

the idol-to-be replayed the argument in her mind, dissecting every chance she had to tell you the truth and how she didn’t. she realized how thoughtlessly she had acted, driven by fear and frustration.

as the night went on, the gravity of her actions hit her like a ton of bricks, and a wave of remorse washed over her. the realization of the irreparable damage she had caused consumed her, and she felt an overwhelming sense of helplessness.

which is what led her to not being able to sleep that night. she tossed and turned, her mind a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. the weight of her mistakes pressed heavily upon her, suffocating any semblance of peace. her heart raced, and her breaths came in shallow gasps as she grappled with the consequences of her impulsive behavior.

every time she closed her eyes, vivid images of your pained expression and the sound of the slamming door replayed in her mind. she could almost taste the bitterness of her regret, like a poison spreading through her veins. the ache in her chest intensified, its persistent gnawing a constant reminder of the magnitude of her actions.

in the darkness of her room, jimin found herself trapped in a vicious cycle of self-condemnation. she questioned her own worthiness of love and doubted whether she could ever mend the shattered pieces of your relationship. her restless body tangled in the bedsheets mirrored the tangled mess of emotions within her, the very same sheets you once laid in yourself.

unable to find solace in sleep, jimin finally surrendered to the persistent thoughts that plagued her. she rose from her bed, her determination fueled by a desire to make things right with you, the girl she loved more than anything in this world.

which is what led to her heading straight to the farmers market at the first glimpse of daylight. with its bustling crowds and vibrant array of colors, offered the girl a brief respite from her troubled thoughts. the scent of fresh produce and the small chatter of vendors created a soothing ambiance that momentarily distracted her from the ache in her chest.

as she strolled along the aisles, her eyes scanned the vibrant fruits and vegetables on display. they were nice, but they were not what she was looking for. she knew exactly what she needed.

finally she found a vendor selling flowers. the older man smiled at her as he watched her pull out some bills to pay him. “do you know which ones you want?” he asked. jimin’s eyes met his with a half smile as she handed him the money, “i do. tulips please.”

“does the color matter?” he said aimlessly, hands moving to assemble the small bouquet. the raven haired girl hummed in thought before picking the white ones.

with the bouquet in hand, jimin thanked the vendor and left the farmers market, her steps lighter than before. the weight of her mistakes still lingered, but she clung to the belief that the flowers would serve as the start of building a bridge to mend the shattered bond between you two.

but as she walked, she felt herself wondering if this was enough. flowers were nice, but she needed something more.

a surge of determination coursed through her veins, pushing her to search for something more meaningful, something that would convey the depth of her remorse and her unwavering commitment to making amends. she knew she needed to put in the effort to rebuild the trust she had shattered.

fortunately, she knew exactly where to start. it was about a half an hour trip to the other side of the city, but jimin knew it was worth it.

you were worth it.

she stumbled across the store during one of her days off with you. you didn’t know it at the time, but ever since that day, jimin had been saving her allowances to buy you something from there.

once she arrived at the jewelry store, she quickly scanned the displays of jewels and metals. her eyes sparkled with a mix of determination and anticipation as she carefully examined the array of gleaming rings before her. she knew that within these precious pieces of jewelry, she could find a token that would express her sincerity and devotion.

her gaze lingered on a delicate golden band adorned with a single shimmering diamond. its simplicity spoke to her, and the hues of gold reminded her of you in every single way. it seemed to whisper to her, a silent assurance that it was the right choice.

with a sense of certainty, the idol-to-be requested to see the ring, her hands trembling slightly with excitement and nerves. as the jeweler gently placed it on a velvet tray, the diamond caught the light, casting a brilliant sparkle.

it was bright and beautiful, just like how you were.

she carefully picked up the ring, feeling its weight in her hand as she imagined it adorning your finger. with every touch, she envisioned the future they could create together—a future that encompassed forgiveness, growth, and a love stronger than ever before.

the decision made, jimin's heart swelled with a mixture of relief and determination. the tulips she had chosen earlier would serve as a symbol of her apology, while the ring would represent her unwavering commitment to you.

leaving the store, jimin cradled the ring and tulips with utmost care. she knew that these tokens alone would not erase the pain or instantly mend what had been broken, but they were tangible reminders of her dedication to the healing process of everything that was broken.

anticipation bubbled within her as she fidgeted with the jet black strands of her hair. her knee bounced up and down as she rode on the bus, each passing moment intensifying the mix of nervousness and excitement within her.

the bus journey felt like an eternity, the anticipation building with every stop and turn. as the familiar landmarks approached, the idol-to-be’s heart quickened its pace, the weight of her actions and the desire for reconciliation pressing upon her.

finally, the bus arrived at the familiar stop, and jimin stepped off, her footsteps filled with purpose. she navigated the streets with determination, her mind focused on the impending encounter with you. the wind gently tousled her raven-black hair, its movement mirroring the whirlwind of emotions within her.

as she approached your dorm room, she took a deep breath, trying to steady her racing heart. she clutched the bouquet of tulips tightly, their vibrant white petals a visual representation of her remorse and hope for forgiveness. in her other hand, the box rested securely.

it was now or never.

with trembling hands, she knocked on your door, her nerves tingling with anticipation. the sound of footsteps approaching sent a surge of both relief and anxiety through her veins. the door swung open and her heart skipped a beat once again.

“ning, are you okay? where’s y/n?”

the chinese girl glared at jimin, her eyes still puffy from crying after telling you goodbye this morning. it was all jimin’s fault. it was her fault y/n left.

her fists clenched tighter as she looked up at the older girl. she chose to ignore the flowers and small velvet box that were held in the older girl’s hands, focusing only on the fact that her soon-to-be leader was someone ningning would forever distrust from that day moving forward.

“she’s gone.”

—

“where’s minjeong?”

jimin looked over at giselle and ningning with a confused look. the chinese girl only pointed to the closed door across the hall, a knowing look in her eyes as she looked at the leader.

the older girl only gave a tight lipped smile before she sighed and sat in the chair next to the sofa. she ran a hand through her blonde hair and looked between the two girls.

giselle seemed interested in what she had to say. she didn’t seem upset in the slightest. it appeared as if the japanese girl was treating this situation like a tv drama.

on the other hand, ningning looked very off-put.

jimin could sense ningning's unease and concern, her normally bright and playful demeanor replaced by a furrowed brow and a slightly downturned mouth. sensing the tension in the room, jimin decided to break the silence and address the elephant in the room.

"ning, are you okay?" jimin asked gently, her voice filled with genuine concern.

“what do you mean she’s gone?”

ningning didn’t hesitate for even a moment before speaking. "i don't know. i mean, was y/n okay after you left her like she meant nothing?" she replied, her voice tinged with accusation.

“it’s all your fucking fault!”

giselle, ever the level-headed one, was quick to chime in and settle the tension brewing. "hey, we don’t know what happened yet. let’s just hear her out okay?" she said softly, putting a hand on the youngest girl’s shoulder.

jimin felt the pang in her chest at the dagger her member threw her way. the air felt heavy, as if it's suffocating beneath the weight of broken promises. every corner of the room seems to crackle with an invisible static, making even the simplest movements feel daunting.

“i’m sorry–” “sorry isn’t good enough!”

the silence that followed was only broken by the occasional sound of strained breaths or the gentle creaking of floorboards under the weight of the leader’s restless feet. each individual present seemed to be holding their breath, their guarded expressions etched with a mix of anxiety, anger, and anticipation.

glances are stolen, but quickly averted, as if afraid to delve too deeply into the eyes of others for fear of revealing vulnerabilities or stirring the simmering tension even further.

“why didn’t you tell us you were going to busan?”

giselle asked the long awaited question, but it was quickly followed by a fiery stare from ningning. jimin remembered that glare.

it was the same one ning had given her every day for 8 months straight.

“you promised her, you promised me!”

"i should have communicated better, and i apologize for not doing so," the leader’s voice was gentle yet firm. "but y/n and i needed space to breathe. the media was down our throats, and we just needed to find our own sense of clarity. we were seeking solace, not escaping from the responsibilities of our groups."

“why would she go with you?” ningning’s sharp tongue was quick to attack her leader, eyes full of a buried rage that had been slowly uncovered in the moment.

jimin's heart sank as she felt the weight of ningning's words piercing through the fragile atmosphere. the question echoed in her mind, leaving her momentarily speechless. she understood the pain and betrayal that lingered within the younger girl, and the words she had just spoken were a reflection of the years of deep-seated hurt.

taking a deep breath, karina met ning’s gaze, her eyes filled with a mix of remorse and determination. she knew that she had to address the underlying tension and have this uncomfortable conversation about you.

“i can’t speak for her about how she feels, but what i can tell you is that she said she still loved me.”

the blonde’s admission hung in the air, heavy with the weight of the unspoken implications. the room fell silent, the only sound heard being her heart pounding in her chest. the leader’s own gaze shifted from giselle to ningning, the two girls handling the news differently.

the chinese girl’s fiery stare softened, confusion flickering in her eyes. how could you still love her after everything jimin had done? how could you trust the girl who broke her promises to both you and her?

“you think i wanted to hurt her? i didn’t mean to!”

ning’s voice, laced with a mix of frustration and defiance, broke the silence. "and what about you? what do you feel?"

“bullshit, jimin! you destroyed the only good thing in your fucking life.”

the room held its breath, awaiting jimin’s response. she was used to searching for the right words to convey the complexity of her emotions.

but when it came to her feelings for you, there was always a simple answer.

“i love her, i just made a mistake!”

“i love her.” she confessed, her voice filled with a raw vulnerability. the weight of her words settled upon the room, and she could feel the eyes of her group mates fixed upon her, waiting for further explanation.

jimin took a pause to gather her thoughts, her gaze shifting from one face to another, her voice trembling but resolute. "i know my actions have caused immense pain and doubt, and i can't expect forgiveness or understanding easily. but amidst all the mistakes and regrets, my love for her remains unchanged. that i can't deny."

a small smile tugged on giselle’s lips as she listened to jimin's confession, the vulnerability in her voice resonating within her own heart. she, too, had witnessed the tumultuous journey of your relationship, the highs and lows that had shaped where you are now.

ningning's face displayed a mix of emotions—confusion, worry, and a tinge of unsureness. she was worried for you, especially since her leader had destroyed you once. she didn’t know what she would do if she did it again.

gathering her strength, ningning's voice quivered as she asked the question that weighed heavily upon her heart.

“are you going to hurt her again?”

jimin's eyes locked with the chinese girl’s, brimming with unshed tears. she understood the depth of the wounds she had caused, and she knew that rebuilding trust would not be easy. but she was determined to try.

“i would rather die than hurt her again.”

the room fell silent once again, the weight of her words hanging heavily in the air. ning and aeri knew that the leader's words were not empty promises, especially now. jimin seemed more determined than ever.

the chinese girl clenched her jaw as she stood up and faced the aespa leader. her breath hitched as she stared into her eyes, jimin’s own breathing ragged as she locked eyes with her.

“i swear to god,” ning’s voice wavered in vulnerable anger. “if you hurt her again, i will despise you. i can't bear to see her go through that pain once more.”

ningning's words hung in the air, charged with a mixture of fear, and protectiveness. the room was filled with the tension of uncertain trust, and the weight of the past hovered like a shadow over their fragile bond.

karina felt the weight of ningning's words seep into her being, understanding the depth of the younger girl's emotions. she knew that her past actions had caused immeasurable pain and shattered the trust they had once shared. but she was determined to prove herself, to show through her actions that she had changed.

"i know my words hold little value at this moment, but please understand that i am committed to changing, to becoming the person she deserves," jimin's voice trembled with a mix of remorse and dedication.

"i will do everything in my power to protect her, to cherish her, and to ensure that my previous mistakes are never repeated. i am dedicated to rebuilding what i had with her,” karina’s hand reached out and rested on ning’s shoulder. “and rebuilding the trust i had with you as well.”

“she loved you, unnie.” ningning whispered, her emotions still running high. she looked at her leader, searching for any signs of deception or insincerity. and while the wounds of the past were deep, she also knew that jimin wasn’t a bad person.

jimin just made a mistake. a foolish mistake in the name of love.

"i want to believe you," the youngest finally spoke, her voice still shaky but now laced with a hint of uncertainty. "but you have to understand that rebuilding trust takes time. i need to see consistent actions that show your love and commitment to her. i won't let her get hurt again, and i won't stand by if things go wrong."

karina nodded, her heart heavy with the weight of her past mistakes and the responsibility of proving herself. "i know. i won't rush you or her. i'm willing to do whatever it takes to make things right, even if it takes me forever.”

ningning's gaze softened, her eyes reflecting the conflict within her heart. aeri, who had been silently observing, finally spoke up.

“what about you and minjeong?”

at the mention of her fake relationship partner, jimin’s face changed into one of seriousness. it was time to tell the other two members about what happened.

without hesitation, the leader answered in a firm tone. “it was a fake relationship.”

ningning and aeri exchanged surprised glances. they had been unaware of the fake relationship between jimin and minjeong. their confusion was evident, and they waited for an explanation.

jimin took a deep breath before continuing, "when i saw y/n with yunjin that one night at the store, i realized that i still loved her and i panicked. i didn't know how to handle it, and i was afraid that she had moved on. so, in my foolishness, i agreed to a fake relationship with minjeong to show i moved on as well."

she paused, her voice laden with remorse. "it was a mistake, and i know that. but i never had any feelings for minjeong at all, and i ended the fake relationship as soon as i understood that i wanted to try again with y/n."

ningning listened carefully, trying to process everything. she understood that jimin had acted out of fear and confusion, but the pain of being kept in the dark was still present. it would take time to rebuild not only trust in her leader but also trust in their communication as a group.

giselle stepped forward, placing a hand on the leader’s shoulder in a comforting gesture. "we're a team, and that means that keeping secrets only creates more problems. we need to be open with each other if we want to move forward."

ningning nodded in approval, feeling the weight of the situation slowly settling. "she’s right." she turned her gaze back to jimin. "but you should probably talk to minjeong."

jimin nodded, acknowledging ningning's suggestion. "you're right. i owe minjeong an explanation too. i should have been honest with her from the beginning, and i'll make things right with her as well."

the leader was going to pick up the pieces of the mess she made, but that started with pointing out the shards left from the other girl first.

—

tears cascaded down jimin’s face as she sprinted down the hallway, rushing straight to minjeong’s dorm room and banging on the front door.

panic. that’s what this feeling was.

she was panicking because this wasn’t the way things were supposed to happen. you were supposed to stay.

when the front door opened, minjeong’s eyeballs nearly fell out of her skull from how wide they opened. the girl in front of her was distraught, and it was written all over her features. “y/n is gone.”

then it was minjeong’s turn to panic.

“gone? what do you mean gone?” she asked, the fear of the worst rising in her chest. “she is gone, minjeong. she left the company.”

minjeong's heart sank at jimin's words, her mind struggling to comprehend the gravity of the situation. "she left the company?" she repeated, her voice trembling with disbelief and fear. "but why? when did this happen?"

jimin's tears continued to flow as she tried to find the strength to explain. "i don't know all the details," she said, her voice shaky. "i got a call from the company just now, and they said y/n terminated her contract and left. she's no longer a part of the company."

the reality of your departure hit minjeong like a tidal wave, and she felt the ground shift beneath her. she had never imagined that things could come crashing down so quickly and so unexpectedly.

and it was all her fault. this was all her fault.

"we need to find her," minjeong said, her voice tinged with urgency. "we can't just let her go without talking to her."

the older girl nodded, understanding the importance of the matter. "you're right," she said. "but they didn't give me any information about where she went."

minjeong's mind raced, trying to think of any clue that could lead them to you. "does ning know anything?" she asked the taller girl, hoping that your roommate would have some insight into where you had gone.

jimin shook her head. "i already talked to ning," she replied, her voice catching in her throat. "i don’t think she wants to see me right now."

guilt washed over minjeong as she realized how distant she had been lately, preoccupied with her own emotions and the burden of trying to get you back into the lineup. she wished she had told you instead of doing this behind your back.

"can we call her sister?”

jimin’s neck nearly snapped from how hard she turned it, fear written all over her facial features. calling your sister was the last thing she wanted to do right now. she didn’t need to be in a casket before her debut.

“no. we can’t call her.” she hurriedly got out, watching as minjeong ran her hands through her own hair. minjeong was getting frustrated with both the situation, and herself.

the realization set in slowly, reality making itself known in that moment of panic. there was nothing left to do. you were gone, and nothing was going to bring you back.

“i’m sorry, jimin.” minjeong whispered, guilt and regret flooding her senses. it was overwhelming, suffocating even.

the older girl noticed the way the other was sinking to the floor, and the way her chest was rising and falling. jimin moved and gave her a hug, sobbing into her shoulder as minjeong cried into her chest.

minjeong felt like a failure. she failed as both your best friend and your member. and now, you were gone, and it was all her fault.

yu jimin lost the love of her life, and kim minjeong lost the only real friend she ever had.

—

minjeong’s nails dug into her palms as jimin sat on the edge of her bed. her icy stare focused on the pattern of her bedsheet’s stitches and the way the fabric rustled as her leg bounced. the room felt heavy with the weight of their unspoken conversation.

“why’d you do it?”

jimin’s voice was void of any emotion as she spoke, eyes glued to the other girl. she watched every micromovement winter made, from her knee bouncing to the way her eyebrow twitched, all giveaways to the state of mind her member was in.

minjeong's heart pounded in her chest, her anger warring within her. she clenched her jaw tightly, trying to suppress the flood of emotions that threatened to consume her. slowly, she raised her gaze, meeting jimin's eyes.

“i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

jimin frowned, her disappointment evident in her eyes. "don't pretend like you don't know. we both know what i'm talking about."

minjeong's defenses rose as she felt the weight of jimin's accusatory gaze. "it was yunjin who leaked them, not me." she retorted, her voice tinged with frustration.

"oh but she had to get those pictures from someone," jimin snapped, having had enough of the other girl’s evasion. “and the only person who had them was you.”

minjeong's shoulders tensed, her anger brewing as she saw the accusation in jimin's eyes. she wanted to stay angry, to hold onto her resentment and deny it. but she knew there was nowhere left to hide, not anymore.

“i’ve liked you since we were trainees, jimin.”

jimin's eyes widened slightly, her anger momentarily replaced by surprise at minjeong's unexpected confession. the weight of the situation seemed to intensify as the unspoken emotions hung heavy in the air between them.

"minjeong, this isn't the time for this," jimin said, her voice softening just a fraction, but her guarded demeanor still intact. "we have a bigger issue here."

"no," minjeong replied, her voice wavering slightly as she struggled to hold back tears. "that is the reason for these issues. because i have been pining after you for years."

the room fell silent as minjeong's confession hung in the air, her vulnerability exposed like an open wound. jimin's guard softened, her features softening with a mix of sympathy and confusion. she had never expected this revelation from minjeong, and it threw her off balance in the midst of their heated argument.

"minjeong, i didn't know," the leader murmured, her voice tinged with regret. "i had no idea you still felt that way. but it doesn't excuse what happened with the leaked pictures."

the younger girl wiped away a tear that escaped despite her efforts to hold them back. she could feel her heartache becoming intertwined with frustration. "i know it doesn't excuse anything," she said, her voice shaky. "but it's the truth. i never wanted to hurt you. i thought maybe one day you'd notice me, and things would be different, but you were happy with y/n. and i knew that no one, not even me, could compare."

jimin's expression softened further, her anger subsiding as she saw the pain in minjeong's eyes. she couldn't deny the years of camaraderie and shared experiences between them. but she was also hurt by the betrayal she felt over the leaked pictures and other calculated actions.

"minjeong, it's not that i never noticed you," the raven haired girl said gently, trying to find the right words. "i just never saw you in that way. i've always valued our friendship, just as y/n did."

"then why did you do it?" minjeong finally asked, her voice more subdued than before. “why did you propose the fake relationship, knowing i had feelings for you before. even if you didn’t know that i still did, why would you do that?”

the aespa leader looked down, her guilt evident in her posture. "i thought it would help me move on from y/n, or at least make it seem like i had," she admitted quietly. "i didn't realize the full extent of your feelings back then, and i didn't consider how it might affect you."

minjeong swallowed hard, feeling a mix of hurt and anger swirling inside her. "so, it was all just for show? a way to keep the public off your back and boost our image?"

"no, that's not entirely true," jimin said, looking back up at the other girl with a sincerity that broke through the barrier of her emotions. "i do care about you, minjeong. you're one of my closest friends, but this doesn’t take away from what you’ve done."

minjeong let out a bitter laugh, her voice tinged with sarcasm. "honesty. that's a bit unfair."

the room fell into a tense silence once more, both girls grappling with the weight of their emotions and the consequences of their actions. minjeong knew that she had played a part in this mess as well.

“you know what’s unfair?” the leader finally spoke, a firmness in her tone as she folded her arms across her chest. “leaking those photos just because you hold resentment towards your ex best friend.”

“i did it to protect us.” the younger girl answered defensively, eyes narrowing at the leader. “there were cheating allegations about you, and i moved the blame from you to y/n.”

"protect us? our fake relationship?" jimin whispered, her voice laced with disbelief. "by going behind my back? by violating any form of trust between you and i?”

“if you want to see it that way, then yes.” her sharp words were pointed at the raven haired girl as she felt her frustration growing inside her.

“that's not protection, minejong. it's betrayal."

with those few words, kim minjeong felt the same way she did that day you left the company.

silence filled the room as the weight of jimin’s words hung heavily in the air, suffocating the space between them. minjeong's heart pounded in her chest, torn between her feelings for her leader and the regret she felt for her actions.

she knew she had made a terrible mistake, and she couldn't bear it any longer.

"i'm sorry," minjeong whispered, her voice barely audible. "i know it doesn’t undo what i’ve done. i was selfish and confused, and i thought i was doing the right thing."

the leader’s expression softened, her anger giving way to a mix of sadness and empathy. "i understand that," she said gently. "but that doesn't excuse what you did. you hurt y/n and me in the process."

minjeong nodded, tears streaming down her cheeks. "i know," she said, her voice breaking. "and i'll live with that regret for the rest of my life."

the room fell silent again, the atmosphere heavy with the weight of emotions and the damage that had been done. the bond between the two felt strained, and it seemed as if it would take a miracle to repair the shattered trust.

jimin took a deep breath, trying to find some semblance of understanding amidst the turmoil. "we need to be honest with each other," she said firmly. "if we want to move forward, we can't keep things hidden."

minjeong nodded, feeling a small sense of relief that jimin was willing to talk further about these issues. "you're right," she said, wiping away her tears. "i want to be honest with you, even if it hurts."

jimin took a moment to compose herself, trying to put her feelings into words. "i was scared, minjeong. scared of losing y/n, scared of losing the group, scared of everything changing. i thought by pretending to be with you, i could convince myself that i had moved on. but it was a terrible mistake, and i'm sorry i dragged you into it."

minjeong listened to jimin's words, her heart aching for her leader, who was struggling with her own fears and insecurities. she understood now that jimin's actions had stemmed from a place of vulnerability and desperation, but that didn't make the pain any less real.

"i wish you had talked to me," winter said softly, her voice filled with empathy. "we could have faced those fears together, as friends and as a group. the others would have supported you–i would have supported you, no matter what."

karina nodded, tears brimming in her eyes. "i know," she said, her voice choked with emotion. "i wish i had trusted you enough to confide in you. but i didn’t even want to admit to myself that i wasn’t over y/n."

the two girls sat there, their emotions laid bare, the walls between them crumbling under the weight of their honesty. it was a painful process, confronting the truth and the mistakes made, but it was also necessary.

"i don't want to lose you as a friend, minjeong," jimin said, her voice trembling. "you mean a lot to me, and i can't imagine aespa without you."

the younger girl reached out and placed a hand on the leader’s shoulder, a small gesture of comfort and reassurance. "i don't want to lose you either," she said, her voice soft. "we've been through so much together, but i know that we’ve got a long way to go. and i will do anything to rebuild what i can.”

silence lingered between the empty space for a few beats before jimin finally laid the final card out on the table.

“do you hate y/n?”

the question hung in the air, heavy with anticipation. minjeong took a moment to process the weight of her leader’s inquiry, her mind racing with conflicting emotions. she understood why jimin would ask such a question, given the circumstances and the pain they had all endured, but she couldn't deny the truth.

"no, i don't hate y/n," minjeong replied honestly, looking directly into jimin's eyes. "i never have, and i never will.”

jimin let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding, relief washing over her features. "i'm glad to hear that," she said, her voice softer now. "i was scared that you resented her because of what happened."

minjeong shook her head, her hand still resting gently on jimin's shoulder. "i won't pretend that it didn’t hurt, seeing you with her," she admitted, her vulnerability exposed. "but my feelings for you don't justify what i did.”

“she misses you.”

winter felt her heart stop at those words. jimin's confession caught her completely off guard, and her eyes widened in surprise. "y/n?" she stammered, her heart fluttering with fear and apprehension. it had been years since you two last spoke.

and after everything that she had done, she didn’t want to ruin anything anymore.

jimin nodded, her gaze steady and earnest. "she does," she affirmed. "she's hurting too. trust me."

tears welled up in minjeong's eyes as the weight of her actions settled on her shoulders once again. she hadn't wanted to cause you pain, but her misguided attempts had only once again led to more problems.

"she has to hate me," minjeong whispered, her voice trembling with regret. "i would hate me if i was her."

jimin reached out and placed a hand on the other girl’s shoulder, offering comfort and understanding. "you know y/n just as well as i do," she said softly. "she could never truly hate anyone. not even you.”

minjeong's heart swelled with conflicting emotions as she absorbed the older girl’s words. part of her wanted to believe that you could never truly hate her, that your forgiving nature would eventually prevail. but another part of her couldn't shake the guilt and shame she felt for the damage she had caused.

"i don't deserve her forgiveness," she whispered, her voice choked with emotion. "i betrayed her trust and hurt her deeply. i don't know how i could ever make it right."

there was no way you’d be able to forgive the unforgivable. you were human, too. you were absolutely going to hate her if you hadn’t already.

the thought of seeing you again, let alone being face to face and speaking with you, made her want to evaporate on the spot. the fear of rejection and the weight of her past actions loomed over minjeong like a dark cloud, threatening to drown her in a sea of anxiety.

she knew that facing you would mean confronting the pain she had caused, and that scared her more than anything. what if you couldn't find it in your heart to forgive her? the thought of being met with coldness or indifference from someone so warm was enough to send shivers down her spine.

jimin's grip on her shoulder tightened, bringing her out of her head and back to the current conversation. her expression was firm but gentle. the older girl knew you missed your best friend, even if minjeong didn’t understand why she was missed.

"you won't know unless you try.”

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ✫ ˚♡ ⋆｡ ❀ ┊ ☪︎⋆ ⊹ ┊ . ˚ ✧

you and jimin met as trainees before she debuted, and you two never felt more in love. however, once she breaks up with you before her debut, you completely leave SM entertainment under the notion of needing a fresh start. you eventually debuted a few years later in le sserafim, where you met huh yunjin and have slowly started developing feelings for the idol. much to karina's dismay, she hates to see you have moved on, but deep in your own heart, you still can't help but feel as if maybe she has forgotten about you.

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @captivq , @wonyoluvr , @yunalvrrr , @spritin , @babycubchae , @vnschldd , @sserafimez , @chaersly , @rosiehrs , @baldd , @bwljules , @jenaissantesworld , @jennasluma , @dream-chasers-things , @lcv3lies , @elyds , @archerheejin , @vnschldd , @skisk1 , @cfvgbhndun-new-blog , @silantryoo , @phamminji , @bzeus28 , @writingficsblog , @strangegirlcode , @uzumakioden , @noiacha , @sserabey , @archerheejin , @pindoris , @yourstrulytrissmerigold , @jisooftme , @yacii , @ddrummie , @justalittledissociation

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#smau #kpop #kpop smau #aespa #lesserafim #yunjin x reader #aespa x reader #lesserafim x reader #huh yunjin #karina x reader #yu jimin #yu jimin x reader #about you #perfectsunlight

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