#the idea of the Hulk contributing to the rules in some way and then agreeing to all of them is very funny to me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

henshengs · 3 years

Text

About Rule 63 fanworks

I was asked yesterday to elaborate on my genderbend opinions, as a trans person, which I’m happy to do, and I’ve thought about it a bit today to make sure I’m not saying something off the cuff and not thought through. Still, this is a sensitive, complicated topic, and I’m open to discussion on it.

This also got long, so I’m putting it under a cut.

So, obviously I can’t speak for all trans people. No minority group is a monolith in our opinions and this is particularly the case for the transgender community because our experiences are so very diverse and individual.

I am very rarely hurt or offended by genderbends/genderswaps/rule 63 fanworks. I know people for whom this is not the case, and I believe the pain involved is very real. The thing is... living in this world is inherently kinda painful when you’re trans. This world’s not built for us. All kinds of random things can cause me pain throughout my day. Store mannequins. My own reflection. Lesbian poetry. Pictures of other trans people. When something triggers my dysphoria or feelings of alienation, I have to stop, acknowledge the feeling, and then consider whether the thing is, outside of hurting me, contributing to the ignorance of and hatred of people like me by its very existence.

I don’t think the basic act of asking, “What if this character who is a cis man, was a cis woman instead?” does that. I think if anything, it opens the door to then ask “what if he was a trans man? Or a trans woman? Or nonbinary?”

Asking “what if this story was about a cis woman” lets cis women talk about their experiences and see themselves in stories, something I think is valuable! and also can lead to stories exploring sexism and misogyny, things which affect all trans people too!

In the rest of this post I’m going to use the terms “rule 63″ and “genderswap” to refer to the act of creating a fanwork changing a cis/presumed cis man to a cis or not-specified-to-be-trans woman, because this is the vast majority of the work under that label, because most fictional heroes and iconic characters are cis men, and because people who create cis man->trans woman or cis woman->trans man content, in my experience, usually use terms like “trans headcanon” instead.

(A lot of rule 63 fanworks don’t explicitly specify that the now-female character is cis. We can presume that most artists aren’t even thinking about the possibility of the character being trans, but we can presume that for 99.99% of all art, anywhere. It’s not a unique evil of rule 63.)

The claims that rule 63 is inherently transphobic, rather than just something where it’s good to be extra careful to avoid transphobia, as far as I’ve seen, use two arguments: A) that making the character a cis woman is wasting an opportunity to make them a trans person, and this is transphobic, and B) that rule 63 fan art is gender essentialist and cissexist, because it ties gender to physical characteristics.

Argument A doesn’t hold up for me,

because couldn’t one then say that reimagining an abled white cis character as an abled white trans woman is racist and ableist? that reimagining them as an abled trans woman of color is ableist? No transformative reimagining can cover every identity. We say “write what you know” and talk about Own Voices, and that includes cis women who want to write about the experience they know.

It’s also not fair to tell trans people that we must always think about trans experiences, even in our fiction. A lot of the time we don’t want to have to write or think about dysphoria and discrimination and we want to live in the heads of cis characters or even just characters whose AGAB is not mentioned!

And it is also, imo, not a great idea to pressure people who may not be educated about trans experiences to write about trans characters just because they want to explore sexism or write about lesbians.

many, many trans people first begin exploring their gender identity through creating cis rule 63 content, because it’s ‘safer’ than directly engaging with trans content.

With argument B, I agree that a lot of rule 63 art looks like this

and this sucks. To me, though, it’s important that it’s not the genderswap aspect that makes it suck. Artists who do this are also designing original characters with sexist, gender essentialist designs. Artists who don’t draw sexist art in general, also don’t draw sexist rule 63.

(yes, I know She-Hulk is not a rule 63 of regular Hulk. But you guys know the kind of art I’m talking about.)

I’ve also noticed a genre of fanfic that’s like, “if these characters were girls, they’d be sensible and conflict avoidant and none of the plot would happen!” or “what if these violent, tragic male characters were Soft Lesbians who braided each others’ hair” and again, I assume these authors write canonical women the same way. The genderswap part isn’t the bad part, the sexism is.

Non-sexist rule 63 actually, in my opinion, fights gender essentialism and cissexism. When a character is exactly the same except for the ways a gender essentialist world has shaped and pressured them based on their AGAB, that’s a strong statement on the constructed nature of gender!

But the argument that making /any/ change is gender essentialist, is... I understand where it’s coming from. I am a trans person who presents androgynously and I am a hypervisible freak because of it. I would love to live in a society where visible gender markers weren’t a thing! Unfortunately, we don’t live in that society. We live in one where we are constantly under pressure to conform to one of two profiles. There are almost no gender non conforming male characters in popular media. And changing a gender conforming cis man into a gender conforming cis woman seems to me to be a neutral action at worst. Not to mention characters from historical canons, who would be under a ton of pressure to conform.

For physical body type characteristics... 65% of all speaking roles in Hollywood are cis and male. It’s harder to get statistics on other forms of media, but it’s undeniable that overall, most stories are told about cis men who do not have breasts or wide hips. Changing the story to be about a cis woman who has those features is introducing more diversity!

I typed “rule 63″ and “genderswap” into the tumblr search bar today, and I saw a lot of art of women with a variety of aesthetics and body shapes and characteristics, who looked like people I’d see out at the mall.

Again, I sure do wish we lived in a post gender society. But we don’t, and in our society, everyone, myself included, looks at a picture of a person and gender categorizes them based on appearance. It is not wrong for someone to draw “Geralt the Witcher as a hot butch woman” and give her some physical markers generally agreed upon to denote ‘butch woman’ rather than ‘gender conforming man’ to tell the viewer that that is what they have drawn. Just as it is not wrong to draw “my OC who is a hot butch woman who fights monsters” and give her those markers.

Finally, both arguments against genderswaps are, in my opinion, flawed because they implicitly posit the act of creating fanworks of the original, cis male gender conforming character design, as neutral. I think this is incorrect. I think that if you’re going to argue that drawing a cis male character as a cis woman is transphobic, you have to also argue that drawing the character as a cis man is transphobic. But I’ve only seen people do this when a trans headcanon becomes extremely popular in a fandom.

Again, I’m just one person. I’m also biased, because firstly, as I mentioned, rule 63 doesn’t usually trigger my dysphoria; secondly, I almost always come down on the side of “don’t limit what people can explore in fiction; ask them to explore it more sensitively or with more content warnings instead.”

I definitely encourage creators to seek out and listen to a variety of trans opinions. But this is mine: I love rule 63, I make a lot of it myself, and I think if no one created it we’d lose something awesome.

At the end of the day, what I really want is more trans content*, but I’d rather have cis rule 63 than just stories about cis men.

Also: I personally have nothing against the terms genderswap or genderbend. I don’t think it reinforces the gender binary to acknowledge its existence by saying you’re ‘swapping’ the character from being cis with one AGAB to being cis with the other. But I can definitely see the argument against it, so I don’t blame anyone for going with rule 63 instead.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading; I hope you have a nice day, and have fun creating and consuming the fanworks your heart desires. I’ll end by linking this comic, which is just eternally relevant.

(*by which I mean: trans content created by other trans people, that matches my hyperspecific headcanons, likes and dislikes, and doesn’t set off any of my often changing dysphoria triggers. See what I said at the start, about transgender existence being constantly mildly painful. There are many awesome aspects to being trans! This is one of the less awesome.)

#rule 63

61 notes · View notes

soliitvde · 4 years

Text

𝐒𝐎𝐊𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 '𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐈' 𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐊𝐈𝐍 -- why are you full of rage ?

( fivel stewart / cis woman / she and her ). introducing sokanon ‘suki’ rankin , the host for the crimson. they’ll be eighteen years old, and joined the rogues one month ago. you’ll always see a baseball bat around wherever she is.

𝙰𝙻𝙻 𝙾𝙵 𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙵𝙴𝙰𝚁𝚂 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙵𝙸𝚁𝙴𝚂

full name : sokanon tamaki rankin

nickname : suki

name meaning : origin, native american . meaning , rain

age : eighteen

gender / pronouns : cis woman / she/her

date of birth : april seventh

location of birth : ridgeway , pennsylvania

past residence : newark , deleware

current affiliation : the rogues

moral alignment : neutral evil

family : calian rankin ( twin brother ) , david rankin ( father ) , joanna hardin ( step - mother ) , mae tamaki ( mother )

aesthetics :

playlist : wasteland baby ! - hozier , thunder - imagine dragons , human - rag n bone man , way down we go -kaleo , renegades - x ambassadors

character inspiration :

𝙾𝙵 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙴𝙽𝙳 𝙾𝙵 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚆𝙾𝚁𝙻𝙳

on the evening of april the seventh , two little babies took their very first breath of earthly air . willka rankin , name meaning sun -- symbolic for power and strength . a little boy who cried and cried and only stopped when his twin sister was finally beside him . sokanon rankin , name meaning rain -- the life - blood of every living being or the foreshadowing of an ominous event . * trigger warning : death * kimi rankin only survived to see her children cry . she kissed their foreheads and used her last breath to give them their names . * end trigger warning *

growing up without a mother was difficult , their father did tried his best , loved them with all his heart . but mothers were needed . they provided a certain love that one would be incomplete without -- at least that’s how sokanon felt . her whole life , she felt that something was missing . and she scavenged through everything to find it . first when she was younger it was sport -- track and field was what she excelled at , a natural sprinter and with a little bit of training she truly could go pro . she was young and ambitious and wore herself out with training and races and doing everything one could possibly do to excel . but it wasn’t enough . there was still something missing .

then she tried love , romantic love that is . just turned fifteen , saw the ( in her own words ) cutest boy in the whole wide world . but he was her best friend’s crush first . and a fundamental rule that the two of them established way back when , finders keepers . but suki was in - love , truly , truly in love ( at least she thought it was ) . and so why would she let anything get in the way of that ? so suki chose love over friendship and her best friend never forgave her for that -- little girls could be so petty sometimes . that was what they were after all , just little girls who thought they had found love .

fate was quick to teach them the opposite . at sixteen , almost a whole year with the supposed love of her life , her first kiss , first love , first everything , including , her first heartbreak . her best friend got her revenge , kissed him at a party before stealing his heart . that was painful . she isolated herself from everyone and everything , she was filled with a certain sort of grief , an untameable anger . and the only thing that could numb her pain were acts of recklessness -- partying high . driving drunk , shoplifting , graffiti , anything that made her forget that she was so fucking empty .

her father was quick to let her know what a disappointment she had become , with his passive aggressiveness and endless comparisons with her perfect brother . why can’t you be more like your brother ? universities are already offering him scholarships, he’s on track of graduating valedictorian , he’s class president . blah , blah , blah , eventually ending in , you are a failure sokanon . but his words only fuelled her fire , amplified her desires to forget everything . and she found herself in juvenile detention centre for underage drinking violations and joyriding a car .

by seventeen , nothing was better . except that she had ( re ) discovered sex . and the town was quick to add slut to her never - ending list of labels , next to bitch , rebel , criminal and of course , by special contribution of her father , failure . what’s worse was that her brother , her twin brother , left her alone through it all -- though she supposes that he didn’t know how to reach out to her , she didn’t make it particularly easy , always only responding with glares , mumbles and slamming of doors . but nonetheless she was alone . to push her even further towards the outskirts of their family , her father remarried , to a woman five years his senior , named joanna hrdin , a psychologist and part - time jiu - jitsu teacher .

joanna , of course , tried to fix her -- even though suki hated it , she respected her for it , no - one else bothered to try . and in joanna’s attempt to fix her hanging-by-a-thinning-thread of a relationship with her brother , she suggested that two of them go on a trip . where it was just the two of them , bonding and enhancing their ‘ unique and extremely special connection of being born as twins .’ her brother instantly agreed and suki was hesitant at first but the opportunity to get away from town became her motivation -- her last hoorah before graduation . they had set of for delaware just as the news aired about pollenation .

a four and half hour drive of pure silence . it was torture . she felt sorry for her brother , having to put up with all her teenage angst and human complexes but she was angry , she’s been angry for so long she doesn’t know how to stop or what it even felt like to be at peace , with your family , with yourself . and that was something he would never understand . so they continued the drive in silence , background music of sufjan stevens and hozer just slightly dulling the tension .

they made it do newark , deleware ( recommended by joan , apparently the parks there were great stimulants for deep reflection ) and settled into a motel . and the next morning they had heard news of borders closing . calian started freaking out , calling their father , pacing the room and sweating excessively and suki only sat on the bed , snacking on licorice and hot cheetos as she watched re - runs of old cartoons .

independence day , july 4 2019 , that was when the realities of it all truly hit her . the world descended into utter chaos . and calian , sweet , sweet calian who’s never been exposed to such horrific scenes and much less to the the savagery of human nature , found himself staining his sister’s shirt with a torrent of tears . his vulnerability , that was her ultimate trigger . that was when suki armoured up , made plans , she was going to protect him no matter what .

but , like in most things she does , suki failed . they were together for months , running , fighting , they got both stronger and tougher and got closer as siblings ( and would you look at that , joanna was right . delware did help them become closer ) . but it wasn’t enough , suki’s protection , her teachings , her strategies for survival , it wasn’t enough . * trigger warning : death * she’s not quite sure how it happened , they were scouting out a house for food and supplies and she heard a scream . she found her brother outside with a monster devouring his flesh . and she ran . despite her screams for help , for mercy , she ran . * end trigger warning *

she was alone for months before finally finding the rogues a month ago .

𝚆𝙰𝚂𝚃𝙴𝙻𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝙱𝙰𝙱𝚈 !

she keeps to herself but always has a scowl on her face . she doesn’t get involved in group discussions , doesn’t really care what happens , will do whatever job she’s been asked to do . she’s detached to every emotion except anger and grief . she has a really short fuse , unlike my other chara , she will go hulk - smash like that * clicks fingers *

she carries a baseball bat , it was her brother’s weapon . they had gone to delaware partly to see their universities and calian had thought he could show the scouts a bit of his batting skills ( idk how american universities work ???? ) and they were going to be there for a few weeks so he wanted to keep practicing . but she took it when she ran away .

she can’t sleep , she has nightmares and is usually up at night either keeping watch or just wandering . one time she had a really bad nightmare and she screamed and she was really embarrassed about it and she was scared that the group saw it as a weakness so she’s never let herself really sleep since then .

she’s pretty good at running , can sprint really well and she’s got a pretty good arm . she also knows a bit of martial arts , partially from just learning to defend herself and also partially from her step - mother who was a jiu - jitsu teacher in her free time .

she doesn’t trust people so she doesn’t try to make friends and she is brutally honest and will call you out when she wants to and she likes to antagonise people and annoy them a lot by bringing up their past or mentioning their mistakes 🙈

𝙸'𝙼 𝙸𝙽 𝙻𝙾𝚅𝙴 𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷 𝚈𝙾𝚄

up for brainstorming but sooomee ideas are :

a bit of a flrtiationships may haps ???

a love / hate relationship -- suki being mostly the ‘hate’ part

a mentor / mentee -- since she’s only eighteen and is very reckless and has no control over her emotions , needs some guidance

people from her town ???

a fellow nomad that she and her brother had encountered ???

someone who helps her sleep and / or stays up with her when she can’t sleep ??

confidant ??? someone she talks to a lot for some reason ??

a good influence -- uh someone who helps her be goodi

bad influence -- someone she is helping to become more ‘bad-ass’ (her words)

TLDR

a sad , angry , brutally honest girl who’s been told she’s a failure her whole life , carrying the guilt of her brother’s death , isn’t afraid to put herself first !

#miseriaintro #[[ another 1610 wc intro ???? yES sIR ! }}

5 notes · View notes

justfandomwritings · 5 years

Text

His Final Act (Loki Laufeyson)

Pairing: some familial love, but its mostly just angst

Word count: 1.9k

Warnings: character death but that’s about it.

Summary: When Loki saw him, he knew what was coming. Loki would never be remembered as a hero, but perhaps he should be.

Notes:... I don’t really know where this came from. If I’m being brutally honest I wrote this in the bathroom. It’s not been edited, beta read or checked at all, but I think it’s an interesting idea, so I thought I’d share it.

When Loki saw Thanos, he knew exactly what was coming.

It had been years since Loki had last seen Thanos, and the years had not been kind to either of them. Thanos had been abandoned by his favorite daughter, and Loki had been thrown in a cell by his own family and left to rot.

Loki had been locked away the moment his feet touched down on Asgard.

There was no love lost between Loki and his fellow gods. Most of them had detested him for his entire existence. He had always been an outsider, and for most of his life he had not known why. He didn’t know why the people cheered when his brother rode past but hushed in his presence. He didn’t know why there were statues built in his brother’s honor after a tremendous battle but barely a word of recognition for his contributions. He didn’t know why his brother’s rash action got applauded when it cost Asgardian lives when he got jeered for a rational thinking that spared them. He didn’t know why his brother wielded the hammer Mjolnir with such pride after Loki was mocked and maimed and brutalized by Asgard for acquiring it.

His entire life had been in pursuit of one thing: becoming Thor’s equal. When Odin told him what he was, when Odin made clear that he and Thor were not brothers, that Thor would always be the greater son, Loki had snapped. He had become Thor, brash and cruel; he had determined to prove his worth in the only way Asgard seemed to accept: bloodshed. By wiping out his own people, by wiping out the frost giants. Still, even then, even when he had been doing exactly what they had all wanted of him for a millennium, he had been deemed wrong.

He had tried to do the right thing and failed. His entire life had been failure after failure. He had fallen from the Bifrost with a sense of defeat. He had fallen from the Bifrost right into the arms of Thanos.

Thanos liked to talk as he worked, and Loki had nothing to do but listen. He listened in silence as the creature torturing him rambled on about his master plan. He cataloged every molecule of information about the infinity stones. He recalled Thanos’ research on their locations. He remembered his plan of attack for each of them. He knew who stood between this monster and his all-powerful weapon. He knew exactly how vulnerable each stone would be.

Thanos had already acquired the mind stone. His two daughters were sent in search of the Soul and Power stones. Time and Space both lay in Midgard, on Earth, the puny speck of a planet Odin had banished Thor to before this whole mess began. One was guarded by a group of sorcerers, and other by a government organization commonly called SHIELD. The final stone, Reality, had last been seen millennia ago in the hands of his grandfather… in the hands of Thor’s grandfather, Bor.

The Aether was believed to be destroyed by those select few who were privy to its existence, but Thanos was of the opinion that such a stone would be impossible to destroy except with the use of the other infinity stones. It was a safe assumption that the stone was somewhere on Asgard, or at least somewhere within Odin’s reach.

The plan was simple, almost obscene in its ease of execution. The Space stone, the Tesseract as Loki knew it to be called, was the most vulnerable of the remaining stones, and therefore the first target. None of the humans who possessed it truly understood its power, so they would likely not be fighting with an infinity stone on their side. The Mind stone and the Chitauri army would be more than enough to overpower Earth’s heroes.

Once they had a second stone within their grasp, it would be easy for Thanos to defeat the sorcerers. They knew the workings of the Time stone well, but two stones against one gave Thanos an unfair advantage.

Then, Thanos planned to truly begin his quest for the two lost stones, assuming his daughters hadn’t found them and brought them to him already. Once he possessed Space, Time, Power, and Soul; he would attack Odin and Asgard in search of his final gem, Reality.

There had been only one flaw in Thanos’s plan. Loki knew about it.

Loki was the God of Mischief. His very presence created chaos. He thrived on sabotage. Lies came to him as easy as breathing. He could trick anyone into anything, and Thanos had put himself next on the list.

It wasn’t that Loki cared to save the people. Though it did occur to him that there would be no point in his ruling the Nine Realms if only four and a half survived. It wasn’t that he wanted to play the hero. His brother was the hero; Loki had finally realized that when he fell from the bridge. It wasn’t that he disagreed with the ideology. Loki was fairly sure he did disagree, but that wasn’t really a problem in his mind. It wasn’t even the torture Thanos inflicted on him day in and day out. In Asgard, Loki had been the bane of existence for men with immortality, an eternity’s worth of experience, at their fingertips. He was very familiar with torture; torture alone had never been enough to break him before. Thanos was no different.

It was his family. Not the frost giants, he’d proven he didn’t give a damn about them. Not his father, he wouldn’t mourn his loss. But his mother.

Loki thought of her. In his dreams, on those rare occasions Thanos allowed him sleep, he would reach out for her. He would try to touch her one last time. To pull her away from the inevitable. To save her from this monster. To protect her from what was coming. He would try to shield her from the very fabric of the universe Thanos wielded at his fingertips, and inevitably he couldn’t. Inevitably, the moment his hand reached out and connected with her skin, the moment he made contact with the only person in the universe to ever love him unconditionally, she would crumble to ash in his arms.

Loki thought of his brother. His perfect, older, adopted, brother. Thor was his idol once; everything he aspired to be. Thor was still everything Loki aspired to be, but out of jealousy and longing more than love or respect. He thought of Thor at the gates of Asgard, reigning lightning down on the Chitauri. He thought of the hammer beating away at Thanos’s chest. He thought of Thanos taking the blows in his stride as he marched to the gates. Thor, the warrior, the hero, the king, fighting till his last breath to protect their city, their people, their mother.

Loki knew he would never be his brother, but he would have died fighting for their mother by Thor’s side all the same. And that was what he had intended to do.

Thanos wasn’t easily tricked, but for the God of Lies it could be done. Taking the scepter form him had been difficult, but the God of Mischief had convinced Thanos that one stone could win him another. He’d convinced Thanos that he would win him another. Thanos had agreed. He’d put an army at Loki’s back and sent him for the Tesseract.

Retrieving it had been all too easy. If helping Thanos had been his intention, he could have been in and out of Midgard in less than a day. Instead, he did what he did best. He made mischief; then, he let himself be caught.

Being attacked by the Hulk hadn’t been part of the plan, and it proved an incredibly painful addition. But it certainly helped sell his performance. Only one of the stones made its way back to the safety of Asgard, but neither were in Thanos’s hands.

Loki had tried to do the right thing again, and still he’d found a cell. In the eyes of his father, he’d still failed. Loki’s finest act, his finest hour. He had delayed the destruction of the universe, and no one cared because he wasn’t Thor.

Only his mother knew what he’d done that day. Only she appreciated the sacrifice he made. Not that it saved her. From his cell, Loki failed, again. He had strived to protect her from Thanos, and in the end that hadn’t even been what took her. That pathetic dark elf in the prison, the one who escaped his cell, the one who released every other prison only to look Loki in the eye and walk away. He had watched the elf escape, and he would forever blame himself.

The infinity stones took everything else from Loki. They weren’t going to take Thor.

When Loki saw Thanos, he knew exactly what was coming.

For Asgard, for the Nine Realms, for the universe. He wanted to prevent it. He wanted to save what was left of his family, what was left of his people. He wanted to be the hero his brother had always been.

But when he saw the Power stone on Thanos’s glove he knew it was too late.

Loki had the Tesseract, tucked away in a pocket between realities that only he could pull it from. There was time. He could open the void and make his escape. Only he wouldn’t.

There was time to save himself before Thanos made his move, but there wasn’t time to save Thor. There wasn’t time to save his people.

Half of them would die. Exactly half. Loki knew that much.

Thanos wanted to take half of everything, but not half of everything put together, half of everything proportionally. He wouldn’t stand for the imbalance of taking the entire population of every other world. He wanted to take half of each world, half of each population on each world, half of each group within each population on each world.

He would take half of Asgard’s women, half of Asgard’s men, half of Asgard’s children. He would take half the warriors, half the farmers, half the leaders. He would take half of the sons of Odin.

Loki always wanted to be the hero. He always wanted to be Thor’s equal, but he knew that wasn’t his part to play. There was no saving Asgard now. Half would be gone by morning, but maybe, just maybe, Thor could save the rest.

If half of the sons of Odin would die tonight, if there was no stopping it, then Loki wasn’t going to let Thanos have the luxury of choosing which half.

Death wasn’t like the stories always claimed. It was not the most painful thing Loki ever experienced, nor was it by any means painless. His life did not flash before his eyes. Time did not slow down.

It was sudden, quick. One moment the knife was in his hands. The next Thanos’s hand was around his neck, falling for the God of Mischief’s final trick.

Loki knew there was no seat for him in Valhalla, but he hoped that maybe, even from Hell, he would get to watch his brother kill Thanos. Because Thanos would die, and his brother would win. As he took his last breath, Loki was sure of nothing else. Loki had tried to do the right thing, and finally, in death, he succeeded.

226 notes · View notes

nananaptime · 7 years

Text

Taking the chance

Masterlist Rules

Not requested

Genre: fluff and omg I’m dead

Word count: 2 238

Summary: You’re definitely not discreet but you’re taking the chance

There he was, sitting at the dinner table, happily laughing at something Seungkwan had said only seconds before. He was gripping a glass of water in his right hand, the other hand was occupied by acting as a headrest. His eyes were barely visible thanks to the laughter that erupted from his beautiful mouth and he was shaking slightly as he tried to stop his giggling fits. When he finally settled down he dried the tears that had been forced out of his eyes during the uncontrollable fit and suddenly, his eyes met mine and I instantly looked away, praying that he didn’t notice my inevitable staring.

“Why don’t you just do something about it?” I shifted my gaze to Jeonghan, the owner of the voice, and gave him a confused look.

“What do you mean?” a chuckle left his lips and he looked at me, amused.

“I’m talking about your crush on Soonyoung, do something about it.” it barely took a second before my cheeks were coated in red and I stared at him.

“Am I that obvious.” he only nodded, trying not to laugh at my expense as it would only attract unwanted attention. I groaned slightly, annoyed with my inability of being discrete. I don’t think my body even knew what that word means. My attempts at not looking at the sun personified were deemed unsuccessful as I felt myself more often than not watch the boy with adoration in my eyes. I couldn’t have been that obvious since soonyoung himself didn’t seem to suspect a thing. Hansol descended the stairs behind me and I seized the opportunity to ask him about it.

“Hansol?” at my request he walked over to the back of the couch and leaned his arms on it, cocking one of his eyebrows as he waited for me to continue. “Am I obvious?”

“Obvious about your crush on Soonyoung? Yes, yes you are.” and with a smile, he continued his journey out the door. Every possible worst-case scenario went through my brain and I leaned back on the couch, very disappointed in the skills I clearly didn’t pick up in middle school. Jeonghan was still looking at me with amusement in his eyes and I glared at him, he just laughed.

“Calm down, Soonyoung is one of the slowest people I know, he definitely has no idea of your crush on him at all.” that calmed me down a bit but we all know that Jeonghan would never finish a sentence like that. “That also means that if you want anything to happen, you have to be the one to take the first step.” my blood ran cold as I realised he was correct. I had never asked someone out before but some time has to be the first right? I stood up, trying to look confident and started walking towards the kitchen. Halfway there I turned around, convinced I couldn’t do it, but the sight if Jeonghan gesturing me to move on caused me to turn around once again, stalking into the kitchen.

In the room, I was greeted by Seungkwan and Seokmin but the only one who gained my attention was the pretty boy sitting by the table. He hadn’t seen me yet and therefore gave me and the other boys a good laugh when I patted him and he screamed bloody murder. He turned around in his chair with his hand above his heart, looking at me like I was crazy. I couldn’t help but smile fondly at him.

“Hey, you wanna go catch a movie tomorrow?” I was too distracted by his eyes to notice the blush creeping up his neck at the time but a couple of years later he would tell me the story from his point of view and laugh about it. He nodded without saying anything, a big smile covering his features and I gave him one back and walked over to the couch again. The look Jeonghan gave me was one of pure pride when I joined him on the sofa and continued our series marathon.

The day after I was running around my own apartment in sheer panic. I didn’t know what to wear or what to do overall. I had never gone on a date before, I didn’t even know if he wanted this to be a date. For all I knew he could be thinking we were just going to the movies as friends. Living alone, I had no one to calm me down in a crisis like this so it ended with me laying on my bed, regretting my life choices. I had actually had the time to put on something at least presentable before I had broken down on my bed like a corpse but that didn’t stop the worry that built up in me once I heard the doorbell ring. It was so thoroughly buried in the pit of my stomach that I literally stumbled down the stairs and almost fell over. Once I opened the door I realised that Soonyoung had heard everything that had happened inside and was trying not to let out one of his adorable giggles. Trying to ignore the state I was in, I locked my door and accompanied him to the car.

On the way to the movie theatre, we spoke of everything between the earth and the sky. We had always been like that, always talking and never knowing how to shut up. The whole car ride was filled with heartfelt laughter and interesting topics of discussion.

“Hansol and Josh need to stop going all English on the rest of us, neither of us understands them so I promise you they are plotting something.” it wasn’t hard laughing at his theories about Hansol and Joshua taking over the world and he seemed to enjoy ranting on about them. We entered the area and he told me that he was going to get the tickets and the popcorn. While he was away I looked down at my clothes and casually straightened them out even though they didn’t need it. He was back within five minutes and I stared in confusion at the big popcorn he was holding in his hand and the big coke in the other. He only got one of each. Noticing my confusion, he giggled a bit before handing me the coke.

“Aren’t you supposed to share things like these on a date?” after saying that he left me flustered as he walked into the room the movie was being held in. Trying to shake off the warmth of my face, I followed him and we took seats near the back in order to get a better view. We had both agreed prior to meeting up today that we would watch the new Marvel movie that was on since both of us appreciated a little bit of action every now and then. The movie was supposed to be a bit over two hours long and according to me that was enough time for my brain to over analyse the whole situation and probably turn into a stuttering mess by the end of our evening. As we were watching the Hulk smashing people in every direction we both had the urge of grabbing some popcorn resulting in our hands grazing each other slightly. I was not slow with removing my hand from the bowl and put it in my lap. It wasn’t there for long, however, since Soonyoung found it appropriate to grasp it in his own hand and continue holding it the whole movie through. My concentration was not on the movie which I would’ve prefered, instead, it was on the fact that his hand was very warm but not too warm, that it was the perfect fit for my own hand and that he at one point interlaced out fingers together, making the whole ordeal so much more intimate. Shifting my focus to the movie as much as I could, I realised that most of it had already gone by and that it was probably less than thirty minutes until it was completely over. I asked myself how I could have missed out on the entire film and when I couldn’t come up with an answer good enough I leaned back in my seat and tried keeping my mind of our hands. It was near impossible.

Soonyoung threw away the remainder of the popcorn and the coke as we left the cinema and approached his car once again.

“Y/N! I had so much fun with you today. Do you want to do it again sometime?” as he said this he threw his arm over my shoulders and dragged me into his side, the warmth radiating from him caused the butterflies in my stomach to go into a frenzy. Attempting to ignore it, I looked up at his smiling beautiful face and smiled back.

“I would love to do it again, but next time we can stay inside and have a lazy night, I find those extremely enjoyable.”

“I’ll make sure to remember that.” by then we had arrived at his car where he opened the door for me and helped me with my seatbelt, even though it wasn’t needed and I promptly refused to no avail. He then jumped in on the other side of the car and started the engine, skillfully backing out of the parking lot. The journey was filled with discussions of the movie, which I couldn’t contribute to that much considering I missed the whole thing, and before I knew it he had pulled up in front of my apartment complex. He once again helped me out of the car and walked me up to the door. I knew that once I had pushed in the pin code and entered the building it would be the end of our night. I didn’t want it to end just quite yet. By the door I turned around to him, ready to bid our farewells.

“Don’t forget to brush your teeth, and change into your pyjamas before sleeping. Make sure to have breakfast in the morning too.” Soonyoung visibly got more and more nervous and I felt like I should interrupt him before he starts ranting.

“I’ll take care of myself Soonyoung, you do as well, please. I had a very nice night.” please create the perfect ending. I didn’t say the last thing out loud but I hoped that he enjoyed the evening enough to actually kiss me. A small smile appeared on his lips as he gave me a hug and I realised that I won’t be getting that kiss tonight. Turning around, I entered the code and opened the door. I was about to walk inside but stopped in the middle of the doorway, contemplating if what I wanted to do was worth the risk. Deciding that I should live a little I turned around in the doorway, grasped Soonyoung’s arm and pulled him closer to me, pressing my lips to his in one of the shortest pecks in history. Then I freaked out and ran into the building, slamming the door shut behind me. In an attempt at not panicking I ran up the first couple of stairs and into my apartment.

I kissed him…. I really just kissed him. What is wrong with me!? Groaning and wishing me my own emotional death I walked into my bedroom, making sure to do everything Soonyoung told me to and threw myself onto my bed, face first in the pillows, where I fell asleep.

The next morning I was awoken by the annoyingly loud noise of my doorbell. Hoping that the person would give up, I stayed in bed, pushing my face closer to the pillow in an attempt of muffling the sound. It didn’t work and the person didn’t give up so soon I found myself pulling myself from the comfort of my bed to the front door. The shock that shot through me woke me up without even trying as I was standing in the doorway, staring into the eyes of Kwon Soonyoung. He was smiling at me and held up two plastic bags, obviously containing food.

“If I know you as well as I think I do, you would ignore my request of eating breakfast.” and with that, he invited himself in and passed me on his way to the couch, already unpacking the goods he had purchased. Knowing that I won’t win this I gave in and sat down beside him, picking up a pair of chopsticks and digging in. once we finished Soonyoung threw everything away and came back to the living room with another movie which he popped in the DVD player.

“You said that you wanted the next date to be one of the lazy version so here I am, ready to be cuddled.” I took him up on that offer instantly and attacked him with a hug where I buried my head in his chest. Mostly so he wouldn’t notice the blush coating my cheeks. Confusion entered my head when he didn’t start the movie, I looked up at him only to notice how close we were.

“Also…. Uhm, I wouldn’t mind doing that kissing thing again.” all I could do was nod and he didn’t need another indication before putting his soft lips on mine and with that starting a beautiful relationship.

#seventeen #seventeen scenarios #kpop #kpop scenarios #scenarios #svt #seventeen hoshi #hoshi #soonyoung #kwon soonyoung #carat #music #love #kpopexplosion

42 notes · View notes

gywair · 5 years

Text

I finally watched Endgame. I’d put it off a week since its release. It felt like planning to attend a funeral. This series has been part of my life for a decade. Going to see the cumulation of over twenty films felt too heavy to see. Putting it off only made the tension build though. Finally, bite the Infinity Stone and ordered tickets.

First, I watched it in “4DX”. This is similar to the theme park rides that started popping up that are a mixed medium experience. So the seats move, air blasts at you, there are water effects, lights flash, and even smells get pumped into the room. In theory, this seems really interesting but usually, I go to movies I don’t care about to try out new gimmicks. My first 3D film was My Bloody Valentine. It was silly and fun. It also helped me adjust to what a 3D movie would be.

My first 4DX-like experience was the Empire State Building ride as narrated by Kevin Bacon. A sentence that makes me feel like I suffered a stroke while writing but is a real thing that exists that I have experienced. It’s been a few years since that and I think it lasted less than 20 minutes (probably less). Sitting for an entire movie seemed like a whole different worm can.

For me, I didn’t really like it. The water, lights, and smells were cool. The smoke was nice too. The seat, however, is made for someone slightly smaller. So when Iron Man gets kicked in his kidneys, oh spoilers BTW, the seat hits you too like a demented message chair. I think normally it would softly strike you in the back on your rib cage. For me, it went straight to my soft organs. This made the fights are to concentrate on (a problem for a movie about fighting). Likewise, little jets of compressed air go off just above your head. For me, they were pointed directly into my ears. So each time they fired off, I couldn’t hear and had the painful sensation of a ghost giving me a wet willy (I’m also blessed with ear problems so your experience may vary).

Anyway, big thoughts:

The Good:

The job of wrapping up 20+ movies was a big task. This film does that. It has a large cast of characters and several errant storylines to wrap up in a short timeframe. Cause even with 3-hours, this felt like there was still more to say. Which isn’t bad cause that means there can still be more films but for a chapter closer it was ambitious.

I was satisfied by the investment I’ve made into the franchise. This was a fitting close to this chapter. Each film contributed in ways that made the complete journey feel fluid and necessary.

It makes several subversions of expectations. Not just for characters but for narrative design. It kept me guessing the entire time. Even with seeing a handful of tiny spoilers, I was never sure what was going to happen.

Avengers served up heaping mounds of gratuitous fan service in the best ways possible. Sometimes this can be very bad like in animes when the whole episode is about boys spying on girls in a hot tub. Here, it’s Captain America fighting a copy of himself or Professor Hulk half-assing some smashing. One of the best parts of the film is about time travel. Here they show off fan-favorite Loki popping up at different points in history.

One important aspect to me for a story of any kind is how much foreknowledge a viewer needs before starting the work. If you watch Pirates of the Carribean 3 or Return of the Jedi, you will be pretty confused. However, you can pick up just about any Marvel movie anywhere in the series and have a fair idea of what is going on. This continues in this installment. Some context is lost or hidden but anything you need to know is shown/told/explained to you. This, for me, is what makes a story stand on its own legs.

See?! This scene just makes sense all on its own.

The Bad:

With so many cooks in the kitchen, there are still weird dangling problems in the continuity. Things still feel left open to interpretation. Even the filmmakers didn’t agree on how elements in the film worked which is something that should have been determined before the first Avengers movie was written. It feels haphazard with how certain things were written off or ignored. This plays well into feeling like a comic book where different creators retrofit things to fit their narrative but it still felt jarring.

For example, in Captain Marvel, the cat has a stone. Well… so does Thanos… but also now Loki… There is a lot going on and even a whole (if well delivered) exposition still didn’t completely cover all their bases. It feels like they slapped it together at random at times. I get that they can play with the timeline literally but I feel like there were still a lot of open questions that should have been answered that weren’t.

I could rewatch all the movies (read as: will eventually) to get the full context. This makes the act of enjoying these films more academic though than just for pleasure viewing. It’s not that I don’t want to do this but for casual viewers, there was a lot of backstories to keep up with to get each nod.

The Ugly:

After years of hearing that fans want more women characters, the film tried to give them the limelight for an action sequence. The rest of the film is mostly about a boys’ club rushing around doing action hero stuff. Yes, Nebula and Black Widow make important contributions to the plot but they feel sidelined or overshadowed by the boys. The problem here is that the women are treated more like set dressing than people important to the plot to move ahead. If Spiderman had finished running the Infinity Glove to the van it would have served the same device. Instead, they made a big show of having the girls team up for a few seconds.

Supposedly this movie was gonna have a “Big Gay Film Moment” TM that would make people happen. Instead, it just suggested that gay people do actually exist. IDK man, like that, is a pretty cold take. If Warmachine and Bucky had started making out after the big fight I would have been cheering my head off. I’m not upset by any means. This is more of a missed opportunity for the filmmakers to do something and instead, they took the safest path.

Hope you weren’t invested in Starlord and Gamora cause that entire trio of films is pretty much null now so far as character development for Gammy. She had an awesome arc. Then they killed her off. Then she comes back but now she doesn’t know Quill. Okay, well this means that other dead people come back… right? Oh, no? Vision and Black Widow are still gone? Weird… I heard this is cause they were killed pre-Snap BUT so was Gamora and they got her back. I think they were just running out of time. I hope Scarlet Witch gets to go back to her robo-boyfriend.

Was that all just a wild middle finger to Gunn? That’d be drama.

The funeral… why isn’t anyone crying? Everyone seems so calm. Is this like when you have already been to like six superhero funerals that week and five are already back on their feet?

I told myself I wasn’t gonna cry.

Characters:

Alright, so this film had way too many characters to really cover perfectly as a group. I have some stray thoughts on several, however.

Hulk is my new boyfriend and I will fight you for him. Banner has made peace with himself and created a half-way point between Hulk and himself. Now he is permanently strong and smart. This is wonderful for character development as he finally finds the peace and belonging that he has wanted since Edward Norton tore up downtown as the rage-y green giant. His new hipster persona felt satisfying and fresh for the film universe. Something of a reversal of the Ragnarok Hulk.

Captain America finally bangs and accepts his position as “America’s Ass”. I’m so proud of my boy. He’s all grown up.

It took Iron Man a decade but Tony Stark finally discovered how to care about something other than himself. His character arc is the film universe’s arc to this point. He was the foundation for everything that came after. This film serves as much an Iron Man movie as it is an Avengers’.

Black Widow kind of gets the shaft here. She began as a coldhearted assassin and ends up as the corporate mom leading the heroes’ home base. There is so much to still unpack for her. Her character has so much potential just under the surface but no one seems to be interested digging into it. I mean Scarlett Johansson “kills” in the role but this movie doesn’t really give her anything to do except talk to Hawkeye…

Hawkeye tried to be the Marvel Aquaman comeback kid and he just comes off as edgy but not in a good way. More like a midlife crisis day buys a motorcycle than the Crow. Like, he tries to make it sound like his entire career of being an assassin was more good than being an assassin now. He does get a brutal back story but I feel like he falls short of reaching his character potential here. He does get some cool scenes and then just gets shoved to the back of the movie.

Thor is bae. He has a brutal journey to this movie but he gets a lot of character work here. His beer belly hermit hijinks provide a much needed comedic break. I also cried like a baby over him.

Rocket has finally gotten some growth as a person. In this movie, he gets to interact with the core team more. This was a lot of fun because of his sass with characters like Iron Man. Also, he finally dons his iconic blue flight suit and red scarf–not important but it was a fun Easter egg.

It only took two Guardians and an Avengers but they finally let Karen Gillan really make Nebula rule. Gillan is a fabulous actor so it was always painful that Nebula just ran around screaming. In Endgame, she finally gets to have some real personal moments that don’t feel weird. Paper football was the best scene honestly for the emotion and narrative. I mean, her whole career as a sour rage junky comes to a boiling point and then she FINALLY gets to open up the tiniest bit with Tony. I really hope there is something… anything in the future where she gets to be this new fun Nebula. It’s like your weird aunt went on vacation and actually had some personal growth and brings you back some neat shells and a guy named Desmond for herself.

Ant-Man got some funny moments in but nothing to really write home about. He was our Joe McEverydude here and it worked fine. I’m baffled at the taco scene but it was worth it for Hipster Hulk to share with him. Like, I know Scott Lang as a character isn’t super bright. That’s his whole thing. But, I just can’t understand what would drive him to go outside the fancy building to eat tacos on a bench facing the jet landing pad.

Warmachine got some interesting developments here. I’m sad now that he didn’t get to build a romance with Nebula (that is just barely suggested here). He felt like a full member of the team rather than just a sidekick from movies past.

The Falcon & Bucky were there. I really wish there had been some kind of closure or growth moment for them. In Winter Soldier, they were at each other’s neck. Now they seem cool. A friendly word or a high five could have sold me on their growth but they kind of get forgotten instead. I was never gonna see my Falcon-Bucky slash make it to the silver screen but would it have killed the Russos to have one heated kiss between these two obviously boyfriend material lads.

**EDIT** —–> THERE IS A SPIN OF THESE DORKS. OMG.

Alright. I’m psyched for this.

Captain Marvel comes in at the end of this list just like she did in the movie. That’s right, she shows up as a Deus ex Machina and looks cool but really got burned here. She deserved better. She just drops in for a minute to help and then jets. Still cool but she gets no development here. Her movie rules though so I’m gonna forgive it. Mostly. That said, it was wild to see basically an Amy Dangerous on screen and that was special for me.

Closing Thoughts:

It was a really fun movie. I may never watch it again. Just like the other Avengers, it’s a good time but it feels more like a spectacle than a great film. That’s not bad but when I watch a film, I wanna see characters grown in new unexpected ways. I want to see hard choices and emotions. Those moments were there but as little islands between big budget action scenes. I really enjoyed it but for the same amount of time, I might just watch Ragnorok again or Detective Pikachu. Finishing this movie felt like the end of a long (20 movie) hike. It was a great adventure. The fun of it was the friends we made along the way. I don’t regret a minute of it.

But it feels good to be at the end.

For now.

Endgame Thoughts I finally watched Endgame. I'd put it off a week since its release. It felt like planning to attend a funeral.

#film #movies

0 notes