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disneyprincemuke · 4 months

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the living situation * fem!driver

living with the opposite gender should be more complicated than it is, but when you've been best friends your entire life, it isn't even that weird. right?

pairings: logan sargeant x fem!driver

notes: um, we move forward with the logan x femdriver storyline in the og universe HELL YEAH anyway this is all still in 2023 ok! have a good day everybody!

(series masterlist) | (📂 the rookie season)

she presses her lips together, stumbling slightly as she tries to peel the heels off her legs. she tilts her head to try and get a look inside her apartment to assess if logan is still awake.

when she's sure that the living room is completely empty, she puts her shoes on the shoe rack and starts walking in. she's looking down at her phone, sending lily a quick text about how another one of her dates simply blew.

she sighs when she enters the living room. she drops herself on the couch and throws her phone next to her when she sends the text message. she throws her head back on the backrest and looks up at the ceiling.

"stupid," she mutters to herself, shaking her head. "what makes you think you'd ever be able to date anybody normally?"

she flinches when she hears a door open, jumping up when it opens and logan walks out. "oh." he raises his eyebrows at the sight of her, standing still where he is with a mug in his hand. "home so soon? i wasn't expecting you until midnight at best."

"yeah, i cut the date short," she smiles tiredly. she moves to the side when logan approaches her and occupies the empty spot. "he had too much to say about my participation in f1."

"he's a dick. i'm sorry," logan says. "are you okay?"

she shrugs. "maybe i'm just not supposed to date anybody at all. maybe i should just be alone."

"don't say that," logan laughs, poking her shoulder. "90 per cent of guys are weird. trust that you'll find the right guy for you."

she shrugs again. she turns to him, barely being able to make out his features in the darkness of their apartment. she could some how imagine the small smile he's giving her and the way his green eyes are empathetically looking at her. "i don't know. i think i'll just be a cat lady."

"i'll go and fetch the moët," logan giggles, somehow finding her knee to pat. his touch lingers a second longer than she expects, her heart suddenly skipping a quick beat in her chest, and he pushes himself up and walks to the kitchen.

she shakes her head as she pulls her jacket off her shoulders. this tingling that she feels in her chest at his touch is just a result of another failed date. there is nothing more to it.

and, if you spend this much time around your best friend and roommate, it's probably normal to fantasize about dating them sometimes, right? right?

or, at least that's what she tells herself when she finds herself laying in her bed alone during nights she can't seem to get some sleep. sometimes she thinks about grabbing her stuffed animal and knocking on logan's bedroom door to find some solace.

but would it even be worth it?

logan opens the door quietly, glancing over his shoulder to smile at the girl out in the hallway. he holds the door with his body and moves aside to let her in.

"um, just," he whispers, staring at the ground, "take off your shoes here. my roommate's very particular about shoes inside the apartment."

he tilts his head and tries to look further into the apartment, unsure if it's a good time to even be bringing his date back home. surely, she would be asleep, right? it's 3 in the morning.

he keeps his hand on his date's shoulder as he navigates further into the apartment. he quickly scoops stubby into his arms when he approaches, not wanting to draw attention to himself. and knowing her, she would try to make a friend out of his date and he would objectively lose another date to her.

but he is mildly confused when he approaches the living room, slightly illuminated by the tv. he moves his attention to the couch and sighs when she's curled up into a ball, a blanket loosely hanging over her feet and a stuffed animal in her arms.

"this one's my room," he whispers, opening the door to his bedroom. "do you want a glass of water? any snacks?"

the girl smiles, shaking her jacket off. he switches on the lights. "maybe a glass of water, please. thank you."

"alright, i'll be back. this is stubby." he bends down and puts the corgi on the ground, smiling when he accompanies the girl who is walking over to his bed. "give me a minute, okay?"

she smiles at him as he closes the door, briefly watching her interact with stubby. he turns back to the tv and sighs softly, quietly padding around the living room to get to her on the couch. he drops himself into a kneel and grabs her shoulder, shaking her as gently as possible so as not to startle her.

"yeah, i'm watching bluey, but it's not weird," she says under her breath, sitting up quickly. she tilts her head. "oh, you're home. how was your date?"

"she's in my bedroom. are you okay? you fell asleep on the couch," logan smiles, moving back slightly. "and bluey? seriously?"

"i'm educating myself on how to be the parent i'll never be," she shrugs, gesturing towards the tv. "why are you here with me when your date's inside the room?"

"you should get some rest where it's comfortable," he sighs, pushing himself up to stand. "the couch isn't good for your back. or your neck. or your arms, with the way you were positioned earlier."

"wow, who crowned you ruler of the couch surfers?" she jokes, standing up and gathering her items from the couch. she smiles as logan leaves her to walk into the kitchen. folding her blankets over her chest and grabbing her stuffed toy from the couch, she then walks to her bedroom door as logan approaches his. "do you need me to take stubby?"

"no, uh," logan presses his lips together, "i'm not sleeping with her. she's really great. i think i'll take it slow."

a small smile spreads her lips. she releases a heavy breath and takes a step away from logan. admittedly, it does slightly sting that he's suddenly connecting emotionally with someone who's not her. but they're just friends, after all.

"oh, that's great," she whispers. "i'll make pancakes for breakfast - if she's still around."

"goodnight," logan smiles before disappearing into his bedroom. "rest well, dude."

she stares at logan's bedroom door for a moment. perhaps the crush she thought she got over three years ago never went away, because why did her chest feel fuzzy at the thought of logan getting serious with someone else?

she pushes her hair behind her ear and she opens her bedroom door. she wouldn't get sleep that night, completely distracted by the conversation and giggles that would occasionally get too loud in the bedroom next to her.

"come off it," is the first thing that logan hears when he wakes up from his nap. at the foot of his bed, stubby is curled up and staring at him with wide eyes.

"is that (y/n)?" he asks the corgi, but giggles to himself when he realises that he's speaking to a dog. although, he would definitely start freaking out if stubby were to answer him. "who is she fighting with?"

he looks at the cat resting his head on the corgi's body. "do you know who she's fighting with?"

the cat simply meows at it before his eyes flutter closed, nuzzling his cheeks into stubby's body. logan nods to himself as he slowly climbs out of bed and creaks the door open to get a glance at the girl in the living room.

"seriously, you should just go," he sees her throwing her arms into the air and walking towards the entryway of their apartment. "i can't believe you thought i was going to sleep with you!"

"you invited me up for coffee. it's 11 in the evening!" he hears a deeper voice answer her. he raises an eyebrow, opening the door slightly wider to get a look at the person in his living room.

he didn't even know that she left for a date, much less leave the apartment in the first place.

"tea! i invited you up for a cup of tea!" she shrieks. he watches with a small smile when she comes back into his view and starts to yank the unnamed man towards their door. "just go! you're disgusting!"

"how, exactly?"

"like i prepared a cup of tea and i came back to you naked in my living room," she mutters.

with the revelation, logan could no longer contain his shock. he audibly gasps, followed by a giggle that he couldn't hold back. her head snaps over to where he is and he takes it upon himself to open the door to show himself to them.

"mate, you should listen to the lady and go," logan mutters, gesturing towards the door. he giggles as he clasps his hands together. "because if she doesn't beat you up, i will."

"piss off. this has nothing to do with you."

she raises an eyebrow and tilts her head. "you don't think i could beat you? want me to show you out in the hall?" she scoffs, shoving the man towards the door again. "just go! make this as least painful as you can for the betterment of your health."

it takes a while for her to get him out of their apartment, but when she does, logan steps out of his room with a loud laugh. "mate, do you have the magnetic force to attract all the weirdos of the earth?"

"shut up, logan," she scoffs, rolling her eyes. she closes the front door behind her and pulls her hair back. she's still in what she'd worn out: the floral d&g dress that she's decided to make her signature outfit and a fluffy white jacket to keep her from the cold. "seriously, i'm going to be single for the rest of my life! it's not funny!"

"you're only 21, calm down," logan laughs and walks into the kitchen. he sighs when he opens the fridge, and then the freezer to be greeted with empty and unstocked shelves. "wanna head to oscar and lily's? i'm sure they have dinner."

"hey, what's wrong?" she asks, walking into the living room. she is greeted by the sight of logan drinking wine straight from the bottle with stubby in his lap. "are you alright?"

"i got dumped," logan mutters, taking another swig of the wine. he looks down at his phone and doesn't spare her another stare. "not really. it's just easier to say it like that."

"oh, i'm so sorry," she mutters. but she doesn't approach him. she turns on her heel and heads right into the kitchen, making logan throw his head back and a hand into the air to question the way she is handling the situation.

she comes back out with a wine bottle in her hand, already opening the bottle halfway. "i don't know how to make you feel better. and i know you won't talk about it until you're ready," she smiles. she takes the empty spot next to logan and folds her legs under her body. "so i'll just drink with you."

"how do you know that? i could tell you about it right now and you'd be too wasted to give me advice," logan mutters, dropping his phone.

she scowls. "i've lived with you half my life. you think i don't know what you're like after a breakup?" she laughs and throws the cork on their coffee table. "that's funny."

"which one are you drinking?" logan mutters, reaching over to take a look at her bottle. "oh, rosé. fancy."

"just drink," she mutters. she holds the bottle up towards logan. to which, he clinks his own bottle with hers as they individually sip their wine in silence.

they drink objectively quick at first: talking about the year they just had with every chug of their wine in their hands. eventually, she wound up with her feet in logan's lap. stubby has run off to drink some water from his bowl and never left the designated feeding area in their apartment.

suddenly they've halved their wine. both bottles are on the coffee table as she lies back on the couch, giggling when logan grabs her calf. "i just think the male population should be taxed whenever they want to speak," she slurs, lifting her head slightly to look at logan. "thoughts?"

"agree. i wish people would stop asking me questions," logan shakes his head. "i just want to be by myself."

and when there's merely a couple of sips left in their wine, they're now on the floor. their feet are up on the couch and their backs are against the cold material of the floor. her hair is sprawled on the floor with her hands over her stomach.

there's a redness that peeks through her cheeks and neck as she feels herself grow more intoxicated through the night. meanwhile, logan is next to her completely red with a coy smile on his face.

"do you remember three years ago?" she mutters, eyelids fluttering close as her voice becomes softer with every word.

"a lot happened three years ago," logan giggles. "i had a crush on you three years ago."

"that's what i'm talking about."

she turns her head to look at him, a lump growing in her throat when logan is already looking at her. "i should have made a move," logan whispers to her with a small smile. "is that what you were getting at? that's why you brought it up?"

"should have?" she whispers, lifting an eyebrow at him.

"well, yeah," logan shrugs, tearing his eyes away from her to look up at the ceiling. "it's different now. it's complicated now, don't you think?"

"i guess," she whispers, letting her stare linger before looking back up at the ceiling. "are you going to remember any of this in the morning?"

"i don't think so. i can't feel my face."

"that's because you soloed the red wine."

"you soloed the rosé - you're not that much better than me."

she breathes out. "we're just as bad as each other, i guess."

she freezes when she feels logan patting around the ground, eventually finding her hand on her stomach. he tears her hands off one another, intertwining his fingers with hers and rests their hands between their bodies.

"you know we can't, right?" she whispers suddenly, squeezing his hand. "there's too much on the line. for you. for me."

"just give me this one," logan says, just barely above a whisper. he reciprocates the squeeze, pulling their hands closer to his body. "not like we'll remember it in the morning."

"yeah, okay."

but she wakes up that morning alone in her bed, with a glass of water and an advil pill on the bedside table. she sighs softly and lifts her hands to her sight. she can still vividly remember how logan's hands felt in hers.

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#logan sargeant x reader #fem!driver #female driver #f1 fem!driver #f1 female driver #vettel reincarnate #disneyprincemuke #disneyprincemuke imagine #disneyprincemuke imagines #disneyprincemuke f1 #disneyprincemuke vr #formula 1 x reader #f1 x reader

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newts-frogs-toads · 3 months

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Ride the cyclone movie concept, by me

Cast: off Broadway 2016 cast

Type: regularly 2d animated, but every Choir song has a different animation style.

What the world needs: A video game-ish style animation showing how Ocean views life as a game, it has pixel art, she goes to the next level every time she insults another choir member.

Noels lament: A classical old time-y 1930s animation style, in black and white. Sorta like these:

(Betty boop)

(Classic cartoon by BIO675 on devienart , keep in mind I did not research so idk if they drew this or just posted it)

Mishcas songs: I genuinely don't know about TSIA (maybe like a clone high type animation)

Talia would be in a sort of Disney style, maybe 2d like Cinderella or the hunchback of Notre dame (One of my favorite Disney movies) or the other 2d Disney movies, or CGI like Tangled.

Space age bachelor man: Obviously an 80s cartoon style animation. Cat ladies will almost look like the original She-ra girls.

The ballad of Jane doe: Sort of (wow im saying this a lot) like an animatic, but a little more polished. It would be in black and white. It would start out with the OG porcelain doll Jane, but over the course of the song, will show different Jane dolls (that way everyone wins). It would end back with the porcelain doll look.

The new birthday song: Would be like TBOJD at first, but then slowly turn back into regular 2d animation like before.

Sugar cloud: STOP MOTION BABYYYYY!!!!! And everyone wold be on clouds for half the song!!!

Other things I would add/ leave out:

Ricky keeps his disability, and he's on a wheelchair/ has crutches for the whole thing.

Since we want this movie to be longer, it's only fair if we learn more about the kids families, father Marcus, Karnak, cut characters (THEY ARE CANON TO ME) etc.

Noel still makes out with Mishca, obviously.

After the movie has been out for a while, we get an animated short (like 5 minutes) explaining the plot of legoland.

This one is probably just me but ld like a little blush with Nishca and/or Spacedolls

Thank you for listening to my longer than usual rant. If anyone makes this happen, I love you, I don't care who you are, lets get married.

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strawlessandbraless · 1 year

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Reblog for science 🧫🧬🔬🧪🥼🔭⚗️🧑‍🔬

#tumblr polls #polls #poll #tumblr update #tumblr app #tumblr icons #new tumblr logo #new tumblr icon #tumblr logo #new icon #app icon #app logo #app update #icon update #mobile app #tumblr poll #variety is the spice of life #tumblr icon

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sillygoofylittleartist · 9 months

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Kitty noir redesign, I had a lot of fun with this one. I changed a lot including her hair, shoes, markings, eye color, mask, lipstick, and general color scheme.

In my opinion the original design was a mess. I don’t know if it was intentional or not but there was a lot going.

Because there was a lot going on in the og design I did make the redesign pretty complicated with a lot of patterns and green accents. I kept her hair cut mostly the same though I took away the green ombré and fixed her bangs a bit. I kept the waist line of the original pants and the little half jacket thing. I changed pretty much everything else.

First off I don’t know why they made her purple but she can’t be black kitty without being black so I made her suit black.

I also didn’t like how this costume broke the precedent they had set of there being no exposed skin. Kitty noir had her ankles wrists and backs of her hands exposed so I changed it to be more like the other suits.

I don’t know why they made her eyes yellow but I felt like they clashed with her hair and skin tone so I made them the same blue color as Zoe’s eyes.

I added some stripe details to her mask added more green ( as opposed to yellow I don’t know why they made her accents yellow ) to the overall design and gave her green claws. I figured adding so much more green would set her apart from chat noir and lady noir.

Finally I gave her black lipstick because that neon yellow green color was the part I most disliked about her design ( though the show does consistently give characters awful lip colors). Since I think they were trying to be alternative or something with the yellow green color I figured black would also be alternative and also more cohesive and readable.

Anyway I feel like the black cat miraculous is one of the easiest to design for and they made so many interesting decisions for Zoe. Especially with the color scheme which was pretty far from the established black cat color scheme.

#miraculous redesign #mlb fanart #miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug redesign #black cat miraculous #kitty noire #kitty noir #zoe bourgeois #plagg #miraculous lb #scarabella #scarabella and kitty noir #kwami swap

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jq37 · 5 months

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Seeing you describe your opinion on Wish (the movie itself) as "def do have oh boy" just has me curious now. What is it?

OK, so I let this sit in my inbox for a while because I planned to see Wish and I figured that it would be more fair to wait until I had a full picture of what the movie was before I started talking about it and...yeahhhhhhh having seen it my opinion has not changed. It's just intensified.

MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW (lol, this got past 7k words)

And, fair warning, it's pretty critical so if you don't want to read something critical about this movie then this is your exit.

tl;dr: I think the movie Wish fails at basically everything it sets out to do and it's an absolutely awful 100th Anniversary movie for Disney.

When I say it fails at everything, I mean EVERYTHING*. I'm going to break this into sections for organizational purposes.

*The one thing I'll give it a slight pass on is the art style which I don't love but also wasn't like make or break for me. I would have preferred true 2D or a better implementation of the blended 2D/3D style, but if the movie was otherwise of the quality of something like Spiderverse or Puss in Boots, the animation wouldn't have bothered me. Like, I watched S1 of The Dragon Prince with no problem. I can forgive janky animation--and it wasn't even super janky. Just odd. What I can't forgive is literally everything else about the movie.

Characters

How is this movie so full of characters and yet devoid of characters that matter? There are a million characters in this movie and basically only two of them matter: The King and Asha. But neither of them are compelling in any meaningful way.

There's a lot of to do about the last batch of Disney protags being very same-y in a quirky, all fluff and no substance way and I don't really buy into that. I don't think that Raps, Anna, Moana, and Mirabel are palate swapped carbon copies of each other. They have unique backgrounds and struggles and motivations. I feel like they're all quirky, sure. But they all also have an identity BEYOND being quirky.

I do NOT get that with Asha. I don't feel like I have a good idea of what makes her tick at all. Like, she's kind. She wants her grandpa to get his wish. She wants to be the King's apprentice so she can help people. The queen (we'll get to her) exposits to us that she cares about people. But being kind isn't in itself an entire personality. The way Mulan is kind (defying the law to spare her father the ravages of war in his old age) isn't the same way as the way Cinderella is kind (making clothes for her mouse friends and protecting them from the cat). Asha just has a generalized want to help people, which is an admirable trait, but doesn't give us much to latch onto. It's so telling to me that in a movie called "Wish" our main character's wish is just, "To have more than just this" And yes, Disney princesses wanting "more" is literally their whole thing, but it's always more specific than that. Mirabel wants to prove herself to her family. Rapunzel wants to experience life beyond her tower. Even Snow White--the Disney princess with the flimsiest story--wants to find her true love. That's a concrete motivation! Asha doesn't feel real to me as a character. It feels like the thing that drives her is that the plot needs to happen and that's it.

The other important character in the movie is King Magnifico who was supposed to be a return to form for Disney in introducing another classic villain but he just fails at that so hard. The idea that he could stand toe to toe with any of the OGs like Lady Tremaine or Scar or even the latest villains like Dr. Facillier or Mother Gothel is laughable. He just doesn't have any gravitas. And his characterization is so odd. You can tell that they were trying to give him a "reasonable man doing unreasonable things for a good reason” backstory (both because of some images in the film and some stuff in interviews I read) but then they just...don't actually give the backstory? Like, they imply that the backstory exists but I don't remember them going into it at all. Which like, he doesn't NEED a tragic backstory. He can just be doing what he's doing because he's evil. Ursula didn't need a reason to want to rule the seas. She's just a boss bitch and she wants power. I don't need to dissect that any further. BUT if you tell me there’s a reason your villain is doing something, I need to see that reason. I don't understand why they would include that in the movie, just to do nothing with it.

Beyond that, he's written in such a weird way. Like, despite the "maybe he has a point" angle they seem to want to go with, he's very obviously a self-absorbed ruler--like he'll say things like, "Yeah, I am super handsome" to his wife--which immediately dumps him into the camp villain category. But he's doing the controlling things he does in the movie of his own accord to get people to stick to the status quo he set up. Fine. That's a fine thing for a camp villain to be doing. But then, at a certain point in the movie, he just uses a forbidden magic evil book (which he has for some reason) that just fills him with evil, green magic and makes him 100% unhinged all of a sudden. And that's just...boring? Like, anything interesting you might have been able to do before that point about power and control and how sometimes you make a wrong choice with good intentions is just gone at that point. It sucks because there were a lot of right answers here. You could just make him evil because he's evil. That works. You could have him be seriously convinced that what he's doing is right and be willing to do whatever he needs to do to keep things that way. That works. You could say that he started out trying to be morally upright and then slid into enjoying the praise and control just a bit too much--and I think maybe that's what they were going for. But it does not come across that way. He just seems like a dick to the point where you're kinda questioning how he's pulling any of this off. Asha asks him one question and he flies off the handle. How does everyone not know he's an asshole if it takes so little to fluster him?

So I don't like our main hero or villain. But there are still SO MANY CHARACTERS in this movie.

You've got Asha's SEVEN FRIENDS. Yes, SEVEN. they're based off of the seven dwarves, which is cute enough but do you know what happens when you give the hero seven sidekick characters? None of them get developed at all and you have to treat them like a unit. Only two of them matter at all--Dahlia (her best friend and the one who actually does more than just make dumb jokes or, worse, nothing at all) and Simon (the one who betrays them--more on that later). There is no story reason for them to have shoved in this many sidekicks. Especially since she also has…

Her animal sidekick, Valentino. Who is a very cute goat until he gets sprinkled with stardust and boom. He can talk. Which immediately made me like him less. Flounder he aint. The whole joke with him is that he's a baby goat with a rich, deep, baritone voice. That's it. Almost every joke he makes is either about that or his butt. Boo.

Then, there's the Queen--Queen Amaya--who is such a NOTHING character. There's no effort made to build up her relationship with the king so that her flipping on him later has an emotional impact. I have no idea what she cares about or desires. When she shows up, she's basically acting like the king's secretary, which is weird. I don't think that's what a queen does. There's a moment during a later song when she joins the "revolution" and it just has zero impact because again, it's like, I don't know who you are in any significant way! She seems nice, and I would love to live somewhere ruled by someone boring and benign, but that makes for an awful movie character.

I almost wrote "lastly, there's the star" because I totally forgot about Asha's mom and grandpa. They're in this movie too but even though Asha's whole motivation at the start of the movie is getting her grandpa's wish granted, we never get a good idea of what their relationship is. They have like, one quick scene at the top which tells us nothing, then they're in a crowd scene later, then Asha has dinner with them later the same day and that's it. And, again, we get nothing significant. Compared to something like Mulan where you have a good idea of what Mulan's relationship is with every member of her family by the time the military order comes in or Encanto where between the musical number at the top and the first group scene, you get an entire picture, this is really weak. Again, so weak that I completely forgot that they were even in this movie.

And NOW lastly, there's the star. Who is like, cute enough but he really makes me annoyed because I've seen the original concepts and they would have been so much more interesting! That's the case for the queen too, so I'll talk about both of them together here.

I am sorry to inform you if you didn't already know but the queen was originally supposed to be evil too.

She was supposed to be a part of an evil power couple with Magnifico and how dope would that have been? We've never gotten that from Disney before. Imagine! Disney Villain Song Duet! A Hot couples costume for next Halloween! An actual relationship that's developed in this movie! But nope. They unflavor-blasted her into the paper thin, placeholder of a character we have in the movie.

And the Star went through a couple of concepts. One, was the spirit of her dead grandpa, taking a younger form, which isn't my fave one but it at least would give her a relationship with this person who is supposedly an important person in her life, something we don't have in the movie right now. My favorite alternate concept is that originally, the Star was supposed to be her celestial love interest. And listen, anyone who's followed me for long enough knows that I am a big advocate for platonic relationships and FRONTING platonic relationships. I don't think that a story needs a romantic relationship to be compelling and I think forcing one in almost always makes it worse. But there is NO central relationship in this movie to carry it. Asha has too many friends for any one of them to make a serious impact so it's not a friendship story. Her mom and grandpa are nothing characters, so it's not a family story. She interacts with the star a lot, but that's basically just her talking to herself because the start doesn’t talk. So nothing is really there to latch onto. If they'd decided to go with the romance angle, it would have forced them to focus on at least ONE relationship and it would have been a nice way to throwback to classic Disney movies from the past. Much better than just sticking her with SEVEN WHOLE USELESS FRIENDS. Literally, all they provide is backup vocals in the fight song. Special Dishonorable Mention to Gabo. Man I hate that dude.

So, to recap this section, Asha's personality is only sketched out in the loosest possible way, King Magnifico is entirely half-baked, and there are so many side characters that no one can form meaningful relationships with each other. And it's really a shame because (1) they very easily could have pared down the cast and (2) very recently Disney put out Encanto which handles a large cast beautifully. There are a ton of Madrigals but I can tell you what the deal of each and every one is. This could have been done well and they fumbled so hard.

Concept

OK, so next up is the general plot and concept. This story takes place in the city of Rosas which is ruled by King Magnifco. It is supposedly a paradise, but much like a YA dystopian novel, it has a twist: When you turn 18, Magnifico takes your wish away from you and puts in in his wish room with the promise that it might be granted at one of the monthly wish granting ceremonies. Once your wish is taken from you, you are "unburdened" and you're "free" from having to pursue it. You don't even remember what it was.

There's a kernel of something interesting there. A ruler making his subjects docile, placid zombies that won't challenge him by taking away their ambition? That's interesting. People willingly giving away a part of their heart to dull the pain of trying and failing? Interesting. Someone doing this with no ill intent, but rather genuinely thinking that this half-existence is better than the heartbreak of the alternative? Interesting!

But the actual implementation of this idea? Ughhhhhh.

So first off, just logistically, Magnifico grants one wish a month more or less (Asha says once a month and in his villain song, he said he granted 14 wishes "last year"). So like, realistically, most of these people have to know their wishes will never be granted, right? Because of like...how math works? Asha acts like it's a big shock when she learns that most wishes won't be granted but like girl...math.

Secondly, there are two moments that are meant to imply that having your wish taken away turns you into a shell of yourself. Asha's friend (who betrays her) Simon is said to be all sleepy and more boring since he turned 18 and had his wish taken. And then, later in the movie, we see two new residents have their wishes taken, and they look a little disturbed after it happens. But, here's the thing. NO ONE ELSE IN THE MOVIE ACTS LIKE THAT. Asha's mom and grandpa act like normal people. So do all the other characters. It’s not consistent enough to establish that this is what’s on the line. Does taking your wish away make you a robot or not?

And does everyone just have one wish? I know I could fill a full sheet of paper, front and back, with things that matter very dearly to me. If you took away my wish to write for TV someday, that would still leave my wishes to travel the world and get a comic book adaptation of one of my novels and a whole lot of other things! Does taking your main wish away make you lose your ability to form new wishes? Logistically, how does any of this work? And you can't just say, "It's a metaphor. Don't think too hard about it," because there's a scene where the citizens start asking these questions. Like, "What happens if we have a new wish than from when we initially made it?" As if having unnamed side characters ask the questions first will alleviate the need to answer them. It's not lamp shading at that point. You're just being lazy.

Also, this is more a me thinking about the implications too hard than an actual plot problem but if he's taking the wishes at 18 I feel like a lot of peoples' greatest desire at that stage in their life is, "I want a romantic partner." And if the central conceit of this premise is that once your wish is taken, you stop wanting to pursue it then the city of Rosas is gonna have a population Collapse problem very soon.

The characters--especially Asha--get so emotional about wishes. It's like they're giving a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic speech every time they talk about it (except MLP has MUCH better writing). It's bizarre to see Asha's mom get her wish back and be like, "Oh my wish. My precious wish!" when she doesn't act any differently than a normal person before or after she has it back (Sidenote: She says this and she's holding the wish ball but we never see what that wish is and that's maddening. Why do I know what the dream of every patron in the Snuggly Duckling is, but they didn't show that? Ridic.) It almost is like, being in contact with a wish ball is a quasi-religious experience that drives the characters’ actions (Asha and the King are both totally enraptured while singing together in the Wish Room), but because we, the audience, are very much not in contact with the wish balls, we're not getting ANY of that.

Anyway, to recap this section: the central premise of how wishes work and how taking them affects people is not treated consistently or explained well, which makes the stakes feel very undefined and sloppy.

Pacing

This has to be its own section, because it's the thing that baffled me most when I watched this movie. So, here's the setup. Asha is going to interview for the internship with the king. She wants to help people and she has the secondary motive of wanting to try and get her 100-year-old grandpa's wish granted because he's not getting any younger.

Here is the entire sequence: Asha is led into the interview by Queen Amaya. Asha is awkward but makes a good enough first impression that Magnifico is moved to show her the wish room (for some reason). They sing a duet about the wishes where they’re both dazzled by the Wish balls. During the song, Asha finds her Grandpa's wish and after the song, she asks him to grant it. He looks at the wish and says while she has good intentions, it's too dangerous to grant--as are most wishes. She asks why not give them back then and he immediately flies off the handle and starts ranting about how HE decides which wishes get granted and what everyone deserves!

Their first meeting and him showing his true colors happens in the SAME SCENE. It's like 7-10 minutes and they just RUSH through all of that. And it's like, why? Did they really need to get to that dumbass star song (we'll get to that) faster?

I know that he isn't a twist villain so we don't need to keep the fact that he’s the bad guy under wraps. And, the way the story is structured, she needs to learn what he's doing before she can rebel against him. But it's not gonna be a big, impactful moment if you're rushing from beat to beat like this is an essay that's due in twenty minutes and you started five minutes ago.

And it really makes you wonder, if Asha can blow the whole lid off this conspiracy within ten minutes of meeting this guy, why is this not happening more often? Between how obviously smarmy the King is, how paltry the wish granting system is, and how easily Asha was able to start asking questions and get him to blow his top (something that happens again later when the citizens start asking question–it literally drives him into his villain song) I don't believe that this wouldn't have happened earlier (Sidenote: Finding out that it HAD happened earlier and that Asha is the latest in a line of failed apprentices who questioned him? More interesting premise).

So to recap: I have no idea why this movie is paced like this but it's not doing it any favors.

Humor

Humor is very subjective so you can take this with a huge grain of salt but I think this is a deeply unfunny movie.

The jokes fall into about three main categories:

(1) Quirky Humor: This is like Asha babbling and tripping over her words. The scene in the trailer where she's like, "Is my face drooping?" is a good example. It's not really a joke but it's clearly an attempt at humor that I don't think meets the mark. It's also in the songs with, for instance, the animals or the King saying slang that doesn't match how they talk or you'd expect them to talk at all and it just feels deeply incongruent, not funny.

(2) Referential Humor: This is probably what bothered me the most because it was just so so very eye-roll inducing. And listen, I love a good reference. Enchanted is my favorite movie of all time. I don’t begrudge them for putting a few references in their 100th Anniversary movie. But ugh. There is a scene after the king's gone crazy where he's destroying wish bubbles for power and he's like, looking at the wishes and making a quip before he crushes them. And for the second one he goes, "Oh you want a nanny for your kids? Definitely POPPING this one!" And he might as well have looked at the camera and said, "Get it? Get it?" and it took 6 months off my lifespan. (Sidenote: He he does a direct ref with the first two wish bubbles--Peter Pan and Mary Poppins–and then he just makes a general ref to the concept of true love with the last one and it's like, come on at least rule of threes this if you're gonna do it. Commit to your awful bit!)

(3) Kiddie Humor: This is where things get especially subjective because maybe a little kid would find this stuff really funny and they are a part of the target audience so that's valid. But it doesn't add much substance to the movie. This is like the goat being like, "I found a secret passage with my butt" or leading a chicken choir or singing the line, "So that's where all the balls of gas come from" while sticking his butt in the air--a lot of these have to do with the goat and his butt now that I think about it.

I think I only laughed at one thing in the movie that was meant to be at least partially funny--when the Queen interrupts the fight song and everyone is like "Oh shit, we're busted!" before she starts singing along.

So to recap: Sometimes a movie has a weak story but it's super funny and that makes up for it. This is not one of those movies.

Music

This is the one thing I already knew before I watched this movie: The music in this movie is bad.

Like, fullstop, no qualifications bad. Not bad for a Disney movie. Not bad for this story. Just bad.

I was a little confused by the choice to pick a pop artist instead of someone who specializes in musical theater style music for this project, but a more pop-y musical doesn't automatically mean a worse musical. Sure, maybe it's a weird choice to pay homage to the past 100 years of Disney movies, but it could be good. I love Six the Musical.

But that's the problem. The songs aren't just unfitting. They're not just un-Disney. They're fully BAD. They feel so half-baked and God, I've never been so assaulted by slant rhymes in my life. Like, this bothers me to the point where I have to go through the entire tracklist. I can't just make a blanket statement, I have to show you what I mean:

1) Welcome to Rosas: This whole song sounds like someone listened to “Where you Are” from Moana (the "consider the coconut" song), “Belle” from Beauty and the Beast, and “The Family Madrigal” from Encanto and was like, "I could do that". And then they couldn't. It's not really catchy and it's pretty repetitive. Super forgettable.

Worst Line: Honestly, this song is too boring to have a worst line.

2) At All Costs: This is the duet that Asha and Magnifico sing. Before I saw the movie, I thought it was going to be Asha singing about a wish and Magnifico singing to his wife to set up the eventual rift between them but that was before I realized that this movie doesn't believe in relationship building. Some of the movie's worst musical sins are on display here. Turns of phrases that seem like they were written by AI and bizarre syntax.

Like what does, "You pull me in, like some kind of wind" mean? That's not what wind does. Why would anyone ever say, "Felt this? No, I haven't" instead of "I haven't felt this?" That's so awkward.

Worst Line: "Leave you here, I don't wanna. I wanna [promise as one does]." My feelings about this line could be a whole other essay, but I've been writing this for 2 hours already so I have to move on.

3) This Wish: This is the big "I Want" song and it fails on several levels. It fails in comparison to all the songs it’s standing in the shadow of--like the last “I Want” song we got is, I believe, “Waiting on a Miracle” and man! How can you not feel for Mirabel after watching her go through everything she goes through at the start of the movie and it getting topped with her being excluded from the family portrait? You see all the build up (including the implied build up from before the movie started) and you see why it's all bubbled up to the point where she has no choice but to sing about it! With Asha, there isn't a whole lifetime of angst that's bubbling up to make her sing this song. Everything that's happened to her has happened over the hour of like eight hours tops. She meets the king, finds out about the king, realizes the whole system is bad, and then gets into an argument with her family who's drunk the Kool-Aid and doesn't wanna hear what she has to say (which makes no impact on us because we have no idea what their relationship is). That's it. It doesn't feel like the movie has earned the song.

And then with “Waiting for a Miracle” the music itself is plaintive and soaring. Like, I just paused writing to listen to it and I couldn't help but sing along and pour a little of my actual IRL "I Want" energy into it. It's a song that feels very real. “This Wish” isn't any of that. And it's not the actresses' fault! She's pouring her whole heart into it and she consistently does all movie. But the song is just, bland. Like I said, "I want to have more than this" is too weak a hook to hang your whole song on–especially when it’s the song that’s supposed to be the thesis of your whole movie.

Worst Line: "So I look up at the stars to guide me/And throw caution to every warning sign." That's not a thing people say and also it doesn't mean anything. If anything, it sounds like she's saying that she's being extra cautious at the warning signs! You can't just throw words together haphazardly and expect them to retain their meaning!

4) I'm a Star: This is, imo, the worst song on the whole track. A friend of mine described it as sounding like a song from a preschool science show and that's exactly it, but there's more to it than that.

First of all, a big part of the reason this song exists is to set up the fact that humans are made of stardust because that's a plot point in the climax. But there didn't need to be a song about that. That would be like if Frozen 2 had a song about how water has memory. But like, OK. If the song was a bop, it wouldn't matter that it was superfluous. Haus of Holbein in Six does NOT need to be there, but I enjoy it! I do NOT enjoy this song however.

This is something I alluded to earlier, but this soundtrack in general and this song specifically sounds like it's trying to do LMM's schtick but poorly. And I know some people don't like his whole style of music (I personally like it) but love him or hate him, his style without his skill? Awful. The presentation of fun facts in the middle of a fun song makes me think of his "Look it Up" in “Shiny” or "That's true" in “A Winter's Ball”. And there's a part where a turtle (we'll get to the talking animals) sings "See we're all just little nebulae in a nursery/From supernovas now we've grown into our history/We're taking whys right out of mystery, closure/Now we're taking in all the star exposure" And it really sounds like someone doing their best to emulate Lin's flow in things like Mirabel's aside to Mariano in “The Family Madrigal” or any number of songs I could name from Hamilton. But it just falls so flat here. It sounds so preschool and cheesy. And not preschool in a fun way. Backyardigans would never.

Also, this song is sung by a bunch of talking animals (the Star gives them the ability to talk) and I find them so obnoxious. They say stuff like, "Did we just blow your mind?" with the "boom" sound effect and I hate it. Maybe kids will like them, I dunno. I refuse to get into it further.

Worst Line: This song completely misuses the word allegory, which I hate, and it rhymes it with "excitatory" which I hate more (and I am saying this as someone who has made peace with the fact that Schwartz rhymes "nasty" with "flabbergasty" in Disenchanted) but there is only one line in this song that can be considered the true worst line because it's my least favorite line in the whole movie. A dumbass, stoner-sounding deer named Bambi (boo) sings, "Ooh, I'm a star! Watch out world, here I are"

They rhyme the word star--not a hard word to rhyme at all--with HERE I ARE.

I firmly believe someone should go to jail for that.

5) This is The Thanks I Get?!: This is the much anticipated and extremely disappointing villain song. There's just no gravitas and it's not clever enough to be very fun. It's just kinda bopping along which is eh, kind of fun at best, but like everything else in this movie, doesn't leave an impact. A musical number doesn't have to be obviously sinister like “Be Prepared” or, the holy (unholy?) grail, “Hellfire”, to be impactful. “Mother Knows Best” is bright and filled with false cheer but it still works because we can see the manipulation that Gothel is doing and she spins Raps around in mental circles to keep her docile. This is just an egotistical rant--and not even in a fun, Gaston kind of way! (Sidenote: Gaston is a good example of a villain who is preening and pompous and kind fo campy, but who you see why he’s beloved AND he can be menacing when the scene calls for it).

Also, it's so full of weird slang that Magnifico doesn't use at any other point in the movie. "Peep the name", "Ungrateful much", "Mmm, are you sure you're not the prob?" It's like he suddenly got possessed by Urban Dictionary. It's bizarre.

It also comes weirdly late in the movie, which isn't a complaint, just an observation.

Worst Line: I think "peep the name" is my least fave but, because I already said that, the opening lines of this song are, "I can't help it if mirrors love my face. It's genetics! Yeah, I got these genes from outer space" and that's such a weird thing to say. I got these genes from outer space? He wasn't even there for the star song so what the hell does he mean by that?

6) Knowing What I Know Now: I feel like this is the song that had the most potential. But for all its build, it never builds to anything. It starts and ends so abruptly (which is the case for multiple songs on this list). We don't really get to know any of the characters well except for Asha so them joining the revolution has no impact. The Queen turning on Magnifico really doesn't have much impact.

(There's a line in this song where a character sings, "I was sweet but now I'm something else" which is so funny because we literally know nothing about her except that she surprises people when she's in a room which, lmao, me too. Fully forgot you were in this movie, girl).

Worst Line: "The good in him, I've watched it melt". There's technically nothing wrong with this line but I hate it because melting with regard to emotion is never, "Oh, his goodness is melting". It just hits the ear so wrong. You can watch the good in him disappear or fade or vanish. Not melt. Hearts melt.

There's also a reprise and a credits song but I have talked about the music for too long as is so to sum up, there is not a single song on this list that I will ever purposefully listen to for enjoyment ever again and there are a few lines that I feel calls for someone being forced to go to whatever the musical version of the Hague is to explain themselves.

MISC

This is just a section for things that annoyed me that didn't fit anywhere else.

There's a moment where Asha sees Star which is a star that has fallen to earth and is shaped like a star and she's not able to put together than he's a star until she looks up at a ball of yarn that's tangled in the trees and sees that the yarn is shaped like a star...which again, Star is ALSO shaped like a star! Baffling.

Gabo at one point makes a comment to the effect of, "Wishing on a Star? Grow up Asha, this isn't a fairy tale." And it's like, dude shut up. Your king is a sorcerer. This movie isn't funny enough to pull off that kind of wink to the audience.

The actual funniest part of the movie is when a talking mouse (not a thing that usually exists in this world) runs onto the Queen's shoulder during a big speech in front of a crowd and not only does no one notice, but she has no stronger reaction than if a messenger was telling her that her dinner was ready. And not in an underreaction for the purposes of a joke way. Like, in a they forgot to write in a reaction for her way. It's so unintentionally hilarious.

They specifically set this in the real world–off the coast of the Iberan Peninsula–but I didn’t get any of that influence in any significant way here. It could have been any generic island town. Rosas sounds like a Spanish name and “Welcome to Rosas” there is some dancing that looks like traditional Spanish dancing. But on a whole, it feels pretty bland. When I think about studying abroad in Spain, one of the big things I think about are all the moments with food–patatas con bravas, pan con tomatae, paella, and so so much coffee. The only food I remember from this movie are the novelty cookies Dahlia is always baking. Which is wild to me because their last big musical was Encanto and you could feel the cultural influences in every scene and it was seamless. This wouldn’t even bother me if that hadn’t made a point to set it in a specific part of the real world and call it out.

A lot of the dialogue is super expository in a way that both makes me think the writers think we’re stupid and that they realized at certain points that they forgot to establish things but instead of fixing the script they just shoved in a line. Like, to the first point, there’s a part where Magnifico crushes a wish and it’s very clear that he’s getting a high from it. But instead of letting the moment stand he’s like, “Oh yes. Who knew crushing wishes would feel so good? I must continue to crush wishes so I keep feeling this good feeling,” and it’s like…why did you need to say all of that? Old Power Rangers episodes have their villains monologue less than that!

This movie opens on a storybook–just like Snow White–and it has a voice over of Asha narrating the history of Rosas as the pages flip. Not a bad idea–until you push into the scene and realize she’s telling all of this to…her grandpa? Who is 100 years old and lived through all of this? What? Why not have that scene be a kid flashback and the story is being told to her? Or have her be doing the little kid thing of telling a story to an adult? Either way, that would help establish their relationship which is ostensibly very important to this movie. Or, wild thought, just have her be telling this story to kids! Like Mirabel explaining all the Madrigal gifts in Encanto! Like, if you’re gonna take cues from that movie, at least go all the way so your movie makes sense.

It’s very unclear how Star’s magic works. It seems like he mostly just gives wildlife the ability to talk. I thought he was just granting wishes but he never does that to any of the humans. And I find it hard to believe that the wish of every animal (and mushroom) in this movie is just to be able to talk.

Easy Fixes

And all of this is compounded by the fact that this isn’t just any random movie or even any random Disney movie. It’s the *100th ANNIVERSARY*. You only get one of those and this is what they wasted it on. My hopes were really high here! I was expecting a lot of love and care to be put into this one, but it just fell absolutely flat. It feels so rote, so by the numbers, so lacking in care. It feels like the shell of an outline of a movie that relies on the fact that we know what a movie of this sort should be and can fill in the blanks.

And the worst part? The absolute worst part?

IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A REALLY EASY MOVIE TO FIX.

Like, I’m serious. If you watch this movie, you will be able to, off the cuff, name tons of things that would have solved problems without breaking a sweat.

For instance, just cutting her friend group down from seven to two would have helped immensely. If she, Dahlia, and Simon have a Three Musketeers relationship, then when he betrays her to the king, it actually means something now!

For a bigger but still obvious change, why not have Asha have an existing relationship with Magnifico? So then this story can be about her losing faith in this relationship she’s had for a long time after she’s seen behind the curtain and become jaded over time and not a 7 minute “Don’t Meet Your Heroes” speedrun.

And making it clear what taking a Wish from a person means–and following through with that portrayal all movie–would all be a game changer. Show that Magnifico’s magical wish granting still leaves the people hollow. Show that Asha is a vibrant, bright person amongst a sea of robotic adults. Show me some worldbuilding!

Also, just hire a musical theater person to do the music. Seriously I can’t believe I have to say this? How is there not a single good song in this movie? There are DCOMs with more bangers than this. Almost every song in High School Musical is a bop. How are you getting outshone by High School Musical?

And these are just changes that preserve the bulk of the story as is. This movie could have been even better if they’d change the direction to go with some of their scrapped ideas!

This is just a movie that absolutely baffles me. I wouldn’t think it would be possible for a movie with this high of a profile to be this bad. You would think that even accidentally they’d have to get SOMETHING right. But they really don’t. I can’t recommend this movie, even for a fun-bad watch. It’s like eating unsalted saltines while you have dry mouth. Just watch a better movie. And here are three movies I think are more in the spirit of Disney’s 100th anniversary than Wish:

(1) The Princess and the Frog does literally everything that this movie is trying to do but better. You’ve got a movie that used a 2D style in the 3D era. You have integration of cultural elements–in this case New Orleans in the 20s. You have a classic princess story with the classic trappings: romance, villain, fairy godmother. You have a rocking villain song. Hell, you even have a wishing star motif!

(2) Encanto is the latest Disney movie of the modern era to have that classic Disney magic, imo. It sidesteps a lot of the classic Disney tropes–no princess, no serious romance (Delores and Mariano end up together but it’s very much a side thing), no villain beyond generational trauma–but it still feels musical and magical and full of character and life. It shows that you can keep the big emotions that we expect from Disney even with more modern sensibilities.

(3) Enchanted is my favorite movie of all time so I’m biased, but I still firmly believe that it stands as a better movie in general and tribute to Disney specifically than Wish. THIS is how you do an homage. The whole plot is a loving roast of all the quirks of classic Disney movies, but it’s also a sincere story that stands on its own. It has references to old movies, but they’re integrated very naturally. And it’s funny enough to get away with things like a character mid-musical number being like, “What the hell is happening? Why is everybody singing?” without it feeling like lazy, “Well that just happened” humor. And the music is so good!

(A quick note on the music btw: Most of the songs in Enchanted are musical theater style songs but there’s one song near the end called “So Close” which is like a pop ballad. And it totally makes sense why they’d depart from the musical theater style in that moment in context but, even if it was jarring and totally unfitting for the movie, it’s still objectively a strong song. Out of context, it would be a great, sad, romantic song. And if the music in Wish was all like that–good but unfitting–this would confuse me less than it does.)

Anyway, I would shell out a LOT of money for a making of documentary for this movie in the style of the Frozen 2 one because as writer and a fan of a lot of Disney’s past stuff, it is completely beyond my comprehension who a team of accomplished people get together to create the 100th Anniversary project with their vast resources and produce this. It just doesn't feel like a movie with any serious care put into it. Which is separate from quality, btw. I don’t like the movie Raya very much but I think it’s obvious a lot of care went into it and I respect this. Wish feels like a movie that was made to fill some kind of contractual obligation and it makes me sad because I really wanted to like it.

#disney's wish #asks #jamiebluewind #sorry this got so long I just find this movie so fundamentally flawed #idk what the current tag etiquette is for stuff like this so I'm gonna cover my bases #disney criticism #disney critical #wish criticism #wish critical #if you liked the movie this isn't an attack and I'm glad you had a good time

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catindabag · 4 months

Text

One of my THG buddies kept asking me about the fate of District 13 in my TBOSAS on Crack!AU yesterday. So this is just me clarifying some random D13 stuff in this weird universe.

So what happened to D13? Here are the facts:

D13 and its citizens are still alive and pretty much hiding from the Ravinstill Regime.

Funny thing is, all of the Capitol Nobles are well aware of the fact that D13 is still alive and kicking. Even Coryo and his scheming grandmother knew about D13’s fate after the Dark Days.

However, the Ancient and Noble House Ravinstill and their sacred Bichon Frisé puppies ordered everyone to pretend that District 13 doesn’t exist anymore.

This is to protect the last remaining working marbles of crazy President Ravinstill and Class President Felix.

So District 13 is now and forever officially renamed by the Capitol Nobles as the “Mole Kingdom” ruled by the mole people.

As long as you are a certified rebel who lives underground, you are now considered a “mole person” by the Capitol.

In short, all of Panem knows about the truth of D13 and its mole people. However, instead of confronting or siding with the remaining mole rebels, everyone just agreed to ignore the Mole Kingdom’s existence after the war.

Also, after the 24 OG Mentors ended the Hunger Games forever and replaced it with ✨Panemvision✨, President Ravinstill made sure that no mole person is allowed to join the competition for rebelling against him and his ✨Bichon Frisé Cult✨.

This is also a way to punish the mole kingdom for rebelling against the Ravinstill Regime and accidentally killing the ever gorgeous Crassus Xanthos Snow.

And yes, President Ravinstill is still sadly allergic to “freedom” and mole people.

But because of ✨The Great Mole Ban✨, the mole kingdom and its mole people are now angry at the fact that they can’t join and compete in ✨Panemvision✨ for fun.

All the Districts’ excited children are now busy volunteering themselves and their most talented individuals left and right for ✨Panemvision✨. The prize was just too good to pass. I mean, who wouldn’t want to win free money, a big house, and lots of food for one’s family and District?!

Meanwhile, the mole people are just stuck living in their little underground bunkers without any real entertainment to distract them from their impending doom.

Years later, in Katniss Everdeen’s timeline, ✨Panemvision✨ is still the best show in the history of Panem!🥳

The ✨SnowPlinth Dynasty✨ is now the most powerful and influential family ever.

Sejanus Plinth-Snow is still the beloved President of Panem.

Former President Felix Ravinstill retired early in order to take care of his 40 fluffy fat cats with Androcles Anderson and their 12 Hello Kitty loving children.

Festus and Persephone’s meat stew loving dumpster diving kids even married into the ✨SnowPlinth Dynasty✨. The Creeds and the Prices finally linked their crazy bloodline back with the Snows and the Ravinstills.

And yes, Coryo and Sejanus did have 24 kids (and more), making Strabo and Ma Plinth the happiest grandparents ever.

After Sejanus and Coryo’s oldest son married Festus and Persephone’s oldest daughter, ✨The Great Sandwich Quartet Alliance✨ was officially formed.

And when Sejanus and Coryo’s oldest daughter married Felix Ravinstill’s oldest son, ✨The Great Pact of The Royal Hello Kitty Blood✨ was finally signed and secured for the greater good of Panem.

Tigris is still a tiger. Lol. But at least she now has several available nephews and nieces to spoil and design clothes for.

The ever gorgeous “First Lady” Coryo Plinth-Snow is still busy taking care of their 40 Snowjanus grandchildren and 10 Snowjanus great grandchildren.

He is also known as the beloved ✨King of Roses✨ and the true ✨Sandwich Queen of Panem✨.

Festus Creed still dumpster dives with Pup, Sejanus, and Coryo every weekend.

Hilarius and Wovey are still the best apple berry pie dealers of the country.

Clemensia and Reaper are still praying for normalcy.

Dill is still the best Mayor of District 11 and the smartest best friend of Former President Felix Ravinstill.

Treech and Lamina are still providing the best firewood and axes for Vipsania and Gaius.

The old Capitol Zoo is still ruled by the “sacred” rabid raccoons and wild squirrels.

Tigris Snow is now the ✨Queen✨ of Panem’s fashion industry along with the Ring Twins and their ✨Pajama Onesie Empire✨.

Dennis and Hy are still the secret kings of Panem’s Black Market Industry.

Arachne is still suing for her ✨Sandwich Queen✨ title.

Iphigenia is now the most famous food merchant in Panem. But she still sucks at handling money.

Mizzen and Persephone are still the eternal rulers of their ✨Pizza Palace Empire✨ and the accursed junk food industry.

Seneca is now the current biggest disappointment of the Crane family for working as a professional pizza delivery guy for Mizzen and Percy’s infamous empire.

Livia and her annoying children are still running and ruling the largest bank of Panem.

Lucy Gray is still the reigning ✨Queen✨ of the Capitol’s entertainment and music industry.

Billy Taupe is still banned for life.

Palmyra Monty is still banned from cooking.

Androcles is still the best professional kleptomaniac to ever walk on earth.

The Covey and its growing members are now the most popular band of the country, making Katniss Everdeen a nepo baby by default.

Lucy Gray is still happily married to Panini Panlo and his hair curlers for fun. They now have 5 curly haired children and 12 music loving grandchildren.☺️

Maude Ivory is still illegally selling popcorn balls and cookies for extra cash.

Mockingjays and Jubilee’s kind are still banned from the Capitol because Coryo, Coral, Reaper, Urban, and Treech are still tragically allergic to weird talking birds.

Coral and Festus are still ✨war baddies✨ who do “martial arts” every Friday.

Marcus is still denying his own existence, but is now working under District 2’s beloved immortal Mayor, Mr. Rocky Rock O’Rolly.

Lysistrata and Domitia are still the proud leaders of the ✨SnowPlinth Fan Club✨.

Dancing King Tanner is still the reigning crazy Dairy King and Mayor of District 10. He happily married Domitia Whimsiwick and her cows to rule D10 forever.😎

And yes, Lizzie is still selling her illegal ✨miracle pills✨ for fun.

First Lady Coryo Plinth-Snow even started his own secret ✨Cabbage Soup & Lima Bean Cult✨ with Felix, Festus, and Pup. In truth, they just wanted their grandchildren and great grandchildren to become close friends.

Florus is still allergic to rain. However, he now knows how to use an umbrella without getting wet.

Pup is now living in a luxurious cruise ship with a couple of retired and underpaid sailors and Peacekeepers.

Urban and Io Jasper are still busy finding the shrouded mysteries of love and the secrets of the universe.

Juno and Bobbin are still throwing insults at each other. However, their children and grandchildren are good friends for some reason.

Brandy is still living her best werewolf life.

Poor Hilarius is currently fighting for his inheritance (again) because his rebellious nephew (Plutarch Heavensbee) just disowned him and his beloved chihuahua out of the blue for no reason at all.🥲

At least homeless Hilarius Heavensbee is now happily staying at the Presidential Palace as a temporary live-in nanny for Sejanus and Coryo’s grandchildren and great grandchildren.

And D13 is still planning to launch a second rebellion against President Plinth-Snow and his friends.

In truth, D13 and its unfortunate, sad, and deprived mole children are just really obsessed with ✨Panemvision✨. They have been loyally watching, subscribing, and following the most popular show in Panem since its weird birth. Since its debut! Since its first season! Since the day they saw crazy Lucy Gray tried to strangle and throw Mizzen the Gremlin offstage for almost ruining her best performance (ever).

Some mole children even tried to contact and convince President Sejanus and former President Felix that District 13 still exist. However, because of Ravinstill’s irreversible war trauma, they still haven’t gotten a single reply from the Capitol.🥲

Of course, their evil Mole President (Alma Coin) still wants to declare war against President Sejanus for some reason.

Honestly, Alma Coin just wants to control the country, imprison the 24 OG Mentors in a mental institution, and become the ✨Eternal Star of Panem✨.

But Seji Pie doesn’t even give a flying f*ck about District 13 and it’s rebellious mole children. He’s too busy making another child with Coryo to truly notice Alma Coin’s threats and messages.😌💅

Meanwhile, when little Prim was reaped for ✨Panemvision✨, Katniss Nepo Baby Everdeen immediately volunteered and stole her sweet sister’s spot.

However it’s not because she wanted to “save” her little sister from being “forced” to sing on stage, but because the ✨Girl on Fire✨ really wanted to compete and become the ✨Star of Panem✨ that year.

And because of that, little Primrose never forgave Katniss for stealing her only opportunity to join their ever famous crazy grandaunt (Lucy Gray) and her booming music business in the Capitol.

Prim even tried to contact Lucy Gray’s grumpy husband with Gale’s help, but old man Panlo thought that they were just trying to take his crazy wife’s life and money. So the Panini Man hanged up and blocked them from his phone.😂

So bitter Prim and her cat are now the first anti-fans of the ✨Girl on Fire✨.😔

On the other hand, when Peeta “I am the bread!” Mellark was reaped for ✨Panemvision✨, Gale “I can f*ckin’ sing!” Hawthorne immediately volunteered to be with Katniss.

So the baker’s boy had to challenge an angry Gale to a dance-off battle in front of an excited crowd in order to secure his spot for the competition. This is also his first and only chance to talk to Katniss Nepo Baby Everdeen. So he had to win no matter what.

Peeta only won after executing a perfect somersault and one flawless cartwheel in front of a drunk Haymitch and a bubbly Effie Trinket.

And jealous Gale became the founding father of the anti-Peeta Mellark Fan Club.

Meanwhile, old crazy lady Lucy Gray is still busy stealing her grumpy old husband’s hair curlers after every show. #PanBaird #lovelanguage #withPaniniPanlo

And the 24 OG Mentors and their former Tributes are still good friends who usually hangout every other week to cause some chaos and traffic in Panem.

Of course, old man Mizzen is still a little gremlin through and through. He is even the main reason why the 2nd rebellion failed and never happened.

Mole President Alma Coin and her loyal minions just can’t stand a chance against Mizzen the Gremlin, crazy Persephone Creed Née Price, and their ruthless Pizza Palace Empire.😈

“You can’t start a revolution, much less a 2nd rebellion without a merciless and efficient pizza delivery service!” - Mizzen.

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