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anantaru · 4 months

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4 RULES TO SURVIVE A DIVORCE (GONE WRONG)

— ꒰ synopsis ꒱ — deciding to end your marriage with neuvillette might've been the hardest decision you've ever had to make in your life, although now, navigating through the divorce was becoming even more difficult, especially when you suddenly fail to stick to four simple rules you have both set between each other.

— ꒰ word count ꒱ — 7.8k

— ꒰ warnings ꒱ — [ns]fw, fem! reader, ex! husband neuvillette, divorced couple goals lmao, fluff & crack, p with plot, lovers to strangers to lovers, size kink/size difference, rough sex, unprotected sex, unresolved tension and lots of bickering, sassy comments from the both of you, it's very much giving married old couple, office sex, cumming inside

RULE NUMBER 1: KEEP YOUR DISTANCE AT ALL TIMES

by the sixth day of waking up to an empty bed— with the left side untouched and consisting of nothing but a feeble scent of vacant perfume, neuvillette has decided that he's had enough.

which wasn't to say that he's had enough of sleep, even though that's certainly a potent route to take, yet the neuvillette the people of fontaine knew was only the one they believed they knew.

in this agonizing moment in time, he wasn't sure on how long he could act out this picture-perfect facade for the sake of his people.

they thought he was brilliant, attractive, chocolate-box pretty.

a radiant, enigmatic dragon that was quite the sight to behold, his smile reminding the flowers of spring-time to blossom to their original beauty— awakening their way of life— ah well, such lovely things to ruminate on, or when they decide to appreciate his delicateness, how uniquely he viewed the world and how otherworldly soft he chose to explore it.

in a true sense, the alluring stories the people of fontaine told each other got one single piece about him right; that neuvillette was very handsome and soft to someone's eyes.

with all ones heart, the man unquestionably had enough of the irrefutable coldness wearing down on his shoulders, sitting there alone in an empty bedroom that was previously essential to his well being, with misery written all over his face and bursting at the seams of his mental health, just enough for him to stop talking all at once.

the cold bedspread was rough against his naked body, the mattress too soft to rest on and giving in beneath his weight. wholly crestfallen did neuvillette realize that sadly, the only way to return to the life he's lived a couple months ago, return to where he should be, was to somehow learn on how to travel back in time and make things right.

which from the bottom of his heart, was impossible.

it was confusing, he has to admit, because the only factor he found somewhat common now was on how empty the bedroom was— besides his own belongings, which weren't a lot in the first place, everything else was taken by you weeks ago, beloved items that were brimful of memories stacked in cold boxes and delivered to your new home.

a predictable event, he knows, and how embarrassingly predictable it had gotten that neuvillette found himself in teething trouble, precisely the issue of his sleep schedule in this bed— one you had bought together, shared together every single day, one you had made love to each other every single night.

a slump of mindless memories waft through his psyche, resembling a wicket current of catastrophes as he ultimately came to the conclusion that the reason he was unable to sleep must be because of you— his serious issues on being unable to rest, it has to be because of you.

neuvillette's thoughts and judgments were all scattered, rummaging through the vortex of problems he had endured through the weeks, a matter much more pressing than all of the other issues put together— he continuously waits and aches, hopes and dreams, and before he notices he's slowly healing, it all comes crashing down on him again.

a recollection long gone relives itself in his mind's eye, and his previous gaze gets overturned by a new, haunting stare.

this is why he had bought the bed in the first place, he remembers it vividly now, it's because you fell in love with it right away, you liked the way it felt underneath your body, heedless of how he personally never really found it comfortable.

concealed from everyone's eyes, neuvillette was deeply saddened, but he hadn't given his mental health much thought yet, because how do you even process that your wife has left you?

how do you tell anybody that you failed as a husband?

and it's raining again? what a hassle, although now he's acquired another way to fault himself on, most importantly hurt himself, because no one deserved the bad weather other than he himself did.

for the first time after gaining the position of the iudex of fontaine, neuvillette did not want to go to work. what if someone begins to ask too many invasive questions when he visits the palais mermonia today?

if that's the immediate case that was going to happen, he begins to think about it more clearly— a person asking about his private life was definitely trespassing his boundaries, right? he could immediately do something about it and put them on trial.

by that logic of his, neuvillette cannot fathom how humiliating it was, his face clouds with a mixture of desperation and disappointment in himself, because he can already imagine the hot off the press headlines on the cover of the steambird;

ATTENTION! ATTENTION!

IUDEX OF FONTAINE LEFT STRANDED BY FORMER WIFE! ARE YOU WONDERING WHY WE THINK THIS MARRIAGE WAS DOOMED TO FAIL FROM THE START? GO FIND OUT IN THE NEW ISSUE OF THE STEAMBIRD. ©this article was written and published by journalist charlotte, do not plagiarize under any circumstances

up to the minute he was able to calm himself down, until imagining the wildfire of emotions an article like that would cause in fontaine.

all the unpleasant hours of arguing with you, even attempting to understand each other without actually coming to a conclusion on how to navigate a situation like that. aside from wanting to keep it all hidden from the outside world, leave it concealed and let the people of fontaine forget about the fact that you two had been married in the first place.

who cares, right? who gives a damn if it's husband or ex husband now? what even was the difference between a wife and an ex wife, you see that it's all the same?

ugh, who was he fooling besides himself.

the whole 'ex-wife' was aggravating him to the point where it made him physically sick.

why can't he just flip a switch and everything goes back to normal like it never happened in the first place. neuvillette wanted his normal life back, the normal life he thought you both loved and would continue to live on until your dying days.

in the end, neuvillette saw no other route around it other than to quit using it all together, maybe stop talking about you entirely.

by all means, it's not like he will talk to anybody about the divorce, maybe besides you when he has to mention it. granted that he might not talk to you about it either, because he wasn't allowed to see you right now, neither were you allowed to see him.

on how it came to that point was genuinely understandable.

after the divorce was finalized, new adjustments had to be made regarding your previous living situations, shared income and the future possibility of seeing each other.

as was anticipated, before he was able to say anything or make suggestions, you had already started to list out a couple of "important rules" that you made up, you called them rules but in the iudex mind he called them pesky little regulations.

regardless of his distaste for them, he wrote them down on a piece of paper as to not aggravate you.

well, he found it a bit bizarre, but neuvillette thought it must be a serious requirement at this point. it was his first divorce so how was he supposed to know how to navigate through one? it wasn't supposed to be easy, that's what he knew, it's very heart breaking and draining his life force.

although funnily enough, his overwhelm strengthens after you waltzed over the fourth rule of the day. that's one rule too much in his opinion.

just how many were there?

"i can't think of a better solution," you state whilst leaning your body against his desk, always facing the ground, you wouldn't want to lock gazes with him during such difficult time.

"we may even be able to talk again in the future, you know,"

but did you really want to?

it's safe to say that neuvillette would want to keep in contact, but it's certain that this would not only stress you both out in the long run, possible new partners could also get weirded out by the fact that you two were still talking and they may become jealous.

neuvillette stifles a groan, scribbling down the second rule that left your mouth before absorbing the letters on the piece of paper, "it's for the best if we keep a distance,"

to say like that was a punch in the gut would be an understatement, despite the fact that you proposed the idea in the first place.

alas and without any of you knowing before setting out those four simple rules, now— weeks after, you had found yourself in a position that made it near impossible to keep a distance from each other, or at least make eye contact in a social gathering.

for you, it has become your life in a literal sense to comb through this difficulty, for neuvillette, the possibility of seeing you in the future would secure his sanity and keep him from turning as mad as a hatter.

patience. the incurable truth was patience.

this afternoon, you have to talk for at least five minutes, with a window consisting of a maximum of ten minutes if one of you talked slowly— it's not like you want to see him, but you have to visit your ex husbands office to sign a paper regarding your previously shared finances and then you're good to go for the day again, you can leisurely exit his office and leave this failed relationship behind, exactly where it belonged in the first place, deeply stored in the past.

previously during the negotiations, neuvillette was quite persistent in leaving you the house which was located a little outside of fontaine. he was in no need of it anymore and wanted you to have it, without payments required.

between us two, it's quite obvious he wanted to get rid of it.

but so did you.

you didn't want to stay there, not now, not ever, you wouldn't sign that damned paper even if the god of contracts suddenly came knocking on your door and force you to.

all the memories in that house would eventually eat you up, they'd definitely destroy you, the gnawing grief would certainly keep you awake at night.

originally after telling your ex husband that you didn't want the house, he was able to find you a flat in the city— it's small but cute, and it had everything you needed. a cozy bedroom, a kitchen that was big enough to dance in while you're preparing dinner and an area where you can set up an office for yourself.

how convenient it was that you were previously married to the person that is in charge of fontaine.

aside from that and the fact that you were practically making neuvillette handle the most difficult parts of this— you realize how a sudden guilt was stored on your shoulders, you could barely face him after that.

the parts he needed to handle included, but were not limited to, well, a problem slightly more irritating since it was about his life, turning approximately a hundred other problems he deals with on a daily a whole lot easier.

most of the legal process was handled by him, and only him for that matter, meaning that he had to spend additional hours on it and was barely able to move on with his life after losing you.

unlike you did.

well frankly, it's only been a couple of weeks, a month at best since you've last seen him— although it has been much longer since you've last felt him.

there really wasn't a lot going on in your life after breaking things off, it's always a grueling whirlwind of;

waking up, heading to work, walking home, eating, sleeping, repeat.

most significantly, your new bed felt a bit hard as well, it's uncomfortable and drove you insane.

you missed the one you had previously shared with neuvillette— wether it was because of the way it felt underneath you or because of its much better quality.

perhaps it was also that in the past, you had the chance of leaning against a warm body whenever you were freezing— the secret on why you found your new bed worse in comparison to your old one would certainly remain a secret forever.

it can never be answered, because you do not even know the answer yourself.

it's frequent and happens all the time— when you suddenly begin to wonder late in the evening if this was the right decision after all.

then again, a divorce wasn't necessarily something you would just forget from one day to the other— aside from that, there was a reason it happened, considering the countless events of arguing and the inability of you both to find a solid middle ground.

when you notice that a relationship drains the life out of you, or makes you cry your heart out late at night, a decision has to be made eventually, especially before it would turn your love into resentment or make your respect for the other person dwindle away.

was it really that surprising that you had your doubts?

when it comes down to it, neuvillette wasn't a bad man and you would never speak poorly of him. he was everything else but bad, which reminds you of the reason you had fallen in love with him.

but in earlier days, he had a reflection less of the way he was than of the way he wanted you to see him.

it was challenging for neuvillette to open up to you.

but hell, you're certain you won't be able to find someone who'd ever make you as happy as he did, bring you sweet tummy aches when he makes you laugh all night, or be there for you when you're sick and unable to take care of yourself.

you shake your head in embarrassment, your cheeks aflame as you're drawing several deep, steadying breaths— perhaps that's just how you're supposed to think right now.

it's not real, it cannot be.

right now, you feel like you should've never broken it off, but this marriage had been on death's door for months before the decision was finally formed— albeit from afar, no one had ever suspected anything and you're quite proud of that, in fact, both of you made sure no one would notice too much of what had been going on behind closed doors— like good spouses should always protect each other.

among other things, taking into consideration just how important his work and image was, the last outcome you wanted was for your ex husband to endure dreadful gossips about him.

neuvillette did not deserve a single negative word against him, this man deserved nothing but the finest life for himself— furthermore, after spending yet another night without sleep and thinking about your ex husband, you believed that the best for him just wasn't you.

it never has been.

RULE NUMBER 2: NEVER SHOW UP TO EACH OTHERS HOME OR WORK, NOT EVEN ON EMERGENCIES, ESPECIALLY NOT IF YOU MISS EACH OTHER

it's a little clumsy when you first enter his office, accompanied by an unnerving type of awkwardness outstretching across the room as neuvillette meets your eyes right away— but his head drops after around two seconds and he puffs out a wretched sigh, sounding as if he's about to cry.

neuvillette thought that this should've been way easier— but before you, he has never felt real love like yours before, and he was quite certain that this type of love only happens once in life.

the melusines were also happy to see you, and you could tell that they were equally as confused as you were— they probably did not realize what was going on and nor did you really want them to know.

given that their love and admiration for neuvillette was bottomless and you wouldn't want them to suddenly harbor a disdain for you.

nevertheless, when you listened to what they were whispering about behind your back, they were talking about how you must've been away for travel or desperately needed a vacation from fontaine, or one even mentioned that you might've been sick— considering how dead and empty your eyes looked those past weeks.

then there's the "being busy with work". ah well, the excuses were surely endless and somewhat amusing, you know you're not taking care of yourself when every second a melusine talks about how tired you looked and if you needed a glass of water.

everything but a divorce was being spoken about, at least you managed to hide that well.

your gaze lifts to meet his own again when neuvillette stands up from his desk and looks at you from the opposite side of the table.

under further examination of your facial expression, he notices the slight discomfort that buzzes underneath your skin, especially around your eyes and how you could barely look at him for more than five seconds.

beneath the familiar emotion of being in the same room as him, the sharp bite of his aftershave slips down the back of your throat when you suck in a sharp, choked breath, tensing like a tree at each step forward.

why do you look like you haven't slept for days?

it cannot be, right? but he was paying attention to certain details, either relevant or not he notices how you're looking around without focus, or shift the weight of your body from left foot to right foot.

and well, his supernatural senses were sharp, immediately picking up on your heart pounding against your ribs as if trying to fulfill a thousand beats.

his fingers twitch slightly with the document in his hand as he remains in his position, waiting for you to come closer.

"this couch doesn't seem very comfortable for sleep," you point to the sofa in his office, in an attempt to break the awkward tension, your chin forwarding to the left where a neatly put blanket and a small pillow sat on top of the furniture.

just how many nights has he spent here? did he even sleep in the first place? was he taking care of himself and should you worry?

it's safe to say that his work shouldn't be in danger, but it really is killing you that you cannot ask without coming across like a desperate ex, and you're fully aware that it would also go against your rules.

but neuvillette has always taken his important occupation very serious, sometimes even to the point where he forgot about his own marriage and his wife waiting for him at home with freshly made dinner served and his most favorite beverage awaiting him on a beautifully set up table and— yikes, that escalated quickly.

you're beginning to remember one of the reasons as to why this marriage failed.

"i hope you do not mind if i ask," neuvillette stifles a groan, "but are you mentioning this out of curiosity or are you speaking down on my new sleeping area?" the hint of sarcasm in his voice was unmistakable, the underlying scorn making you wince.

and oh, "sleeping area" was a big statement for that little excuse of a couch, you're very much aware that he can barely fit all of him on it and always had troubles finding a comfortable spot when he fucked— uh, well, when you did things to each other there.

yes, you already know how it felt on there, and who could possibly know of the plentiful times you had been intimate with each other on that couch.

wait a minute, was that the reason? was he already having a rebound this soon after your divorce?

no, it cannot be.

not your neuvillette, hold on, scrap that and reverse, he wasn't your neuvillette anymore.

it's stinging and like pins and needles on your heart when you think about neuvillette fucking someone on the exact same place he made love to you— leading to the conclusion that simply looking at the couch made you sick to your stomach, instantly setting off another unpleasant lurch of nausea yet you could still muster enough strength to fix yourself for the sake of this conversation.

he wouldn't dare, okay, this is the last time you're discussing this with yourself;

what if he wanted you to see this, tell you that:

hey, look at me! i am so happy without you stupid witch, and i already have a new partner too, isn't that nice for me? there really is no need for you to be worried about me, so please sign this document and exit my office.

because i am getting my dick sucked every single day!

your heart beat turns feverish in your chest, and you quickly snap your head towards the direction of your ex husband, "isn't it obvious that i was just trying to make conversation with you?" you retort back, swatting away the dust lingering on your clothes while simultaneously coughing out in an awkward manner.

"although i really cannot imagine that this couch is somewhat comfortable to sleep on."

"i believe you must still remember on how it felt laying there yourself,"

yikes, what a great comeback from him, and he didn't mean to say it like he's spitting venom into your mouth, it's almost like he wanted to tell you that it's your loss you cannot make yourself comfortable on here, even though he wouldn't mind bending you on all fours again like he did last— okay, that's enough.

there was a half-visible smirk on his face that aggravated you, the absolute last expression you were expecting to see from him.

you roll your eyes, "trust me, i don't want to," you reply, pinching your eyebrows together while assessing your distaste of his answer.

just when did an innocent question about a dusty, old couch turn into— whatever that conversation was about.

RULE NUMBER 3: DO NOT ASK INTIMATE QUESTIONS ABOUT EACH OTHERS PRIVATE LIFE

no, stop it, that doesn't seem right, neuvillette shouldn't treat you this way.

right now, he was experiencing his worst nightmare and the previous gears of sadness grind to a halt upon perceiving another emotion— one, that certainly scared him.

whatever the case, he wouldn't repeat his mistake, accepting any destiny the universe would bestow on him as he silently promises himself to stop any anger from slipping past the tip of his tongue.

pressing your lips together, you dig your heels into the ground, "okay, forget it, i don't have a lot of time," an unexpected force of confidence pushes you forward until you could feel the wooden desk graze across your thighs, you're so close now and the only thing keeping your bodies apart was the desk in between.

your mind was repeatedly screaming at your frame to stop moving before you actually did, "i have to be somewhere in, uh, about a couple hours, so lets finish this quickly."

what a sweet and pretty liar that you were, terribly aware that the only thing waiting for you tonight was your bed.

what a sad image, but he must not know!

"oh?" neuvillette mutters bitterly, a nervous rasp roughening his voice.

"a date, i assume?"

you would have gasped if you had any breath to spare, because you did not think this would actually work in a million years.

"ah, ah, ah," you note in a triumphant colored tone, happily waving your pointer finger from left to right.

"this, dear iudex, goes against rule number three."

content, neuvillette resumes to the document in his hand before placing it in the middle of the desk, sucking in a short, harsh breath, eyes deepening down south, just any area that wasn't you,

"of course, my apologies," his tone was thick, sickly sweet with barely cloaked amusement.

now he knows you're lying— he knows you so well it's almost embarrassing.

"this, is why you came for, right?"

you fumble a blistering retort that died with the hard press of teeth against your tongue, "mhm," you murmur in a low, rich tone, his casual unbothered spirit was dangerously convincing.

oh well, he must have gotten it right— and ah, you were remarkably stubborn too, resisting even the most innocent type of help coming from him as you take a random pen laying across the other side of the desk instead of the one in neuvillette's hand.

your eyes slowly scatter over the document, your brain struggling to put together the authoritative choice of words displayed in front of you.

"please elaborate on that," you press a finger on a significantly befuddling paragraph.

neuvillette muses agreeably before slanting against the desk to see for himself— and when he did you got a real good taste of his perfume suddenly invading your nostrils, playing devils advocate when you flinch back a little.

"do not worry yourself about this," his answer came so quickly you barely caught it, spelled out without a flutter of hesitation.

"everything is accounted for," he adds gently, you only need to put your name, there,"

your once-vulnerable eyes now squint stormily, "that smart mouth of yours surely has been busy, i can tell," as you place the pen on the desk before dropping both arms to your side— the man before you narrowed speechless, burning his eyes through your smug face.

"oh, just how many tricks did you pick up on your way here?" he replies sternly, accentuating the "here" as to remind you on where you currently were— as if that would somehow make him look threatening, you have been in his office plenty of times before, both naked and fully clothed, so neuvillette surely must search for another way to dominate this conversation.

priding himself in front of you with his position as iudex certainly wouldn't work on his ex wife.

"why?" you retort, "you like it?"

"indeed i do, or is that what you want me say, i assume?"

"no," a soft sigh above you echoes your own, "but i do find it weird that you'd want me to sign something without explaining it to me,"

"i did explain it to you multiple times, in fact, last time we saw each other i even asked you if you understood what i was referring to,"

an instinctive flutter of frustration, anger and exhaustion slips down his throat, "and if i recollect my memories," he coughs out and walks around his desk, so that nothing was in between you anymore.

"—you have said your time was limited." the radiating dominance of his body momentarily presses your back against the table, trapping you in the middle, caging between a wooden desk and your ex lover.

"that was weeks ago," you pause, "it's normal for most people to want a quick run through on a document of this importance,"

"it's normal?"

"it's normal," you reaffirm.

"how interesting indeed. i will keep that in mind,"

you lean your weight against the desk as to keep the eye contact with him in an attempt to stand your round, and the two of you have since lost the original purpose of this meeting.

"how could you possibly forget that?"

your voices flap over in an unmusical tune when neuvillette attempts to reply to you, although your tone was far louder than his.

there was an awkward moment of silence that was practically slicing the air within your bodies and it's unusual on just how strong the tension had gotten in a span of two minutes. not to mention that he was so close— you honestly preferred it when his desk was keeping you both apart.

it was hard to remember anything and keep a rational mind, neuvillette realized that and found himself deeply saddened on how quick this meeting went out of hand and turned to this.

but a whispered sentence reaches your hearing and immediately calms you into a warm, relaxing state, "i apologise," he speaks finally and it surprises you, a nervous rasp shaking his voice,

"i shouldn't have talked to you in such disrespectful manner,"

your eyes widen, "no," and your cheeks grow hot with deep embarrassment, "it's really my fault, i need to apologize to you," as you force out a shaky laugh in an attempt to lighten up the mood.

"don't," neuvillette retorts back, contemplating wether he should or not but lastly deciding to rest a hand over your shoulder before he squeezes it, a smile manifesting on his lips— and it was otherworldly radiant, illuminating his complete face with deep warmth and joy.

"i always loved that witty side of yours."

he doesn't say anything for a moment, in fact, neither of you do— and the feeling of him touching you again after weeks of spending apart from each other, and despite it being just his palm on your shoulder, was instantly turning your knees into jelly.

the minute of silence felt like twenty years as neuvillette straightens his body upright, drawing a more serious touch along your shoulder before moving his palm from your collarbone until curving his hand along your cheek, holding your gaze through bright, gemstone-like eyes.

he must be crazy, he thinks— because right now, he's going against everything he has promised himself not to do, and everything you have told him not to do as well. but fuck, he hasn't touched you like this in so long, the last time was long before your divorce, and the helpless intensity of his desire horrified him.

it's when neuvillette suddenly realizes that he has never stopped loving you— not even for a minute, nor a searing second.

it was impossible to stop loving you.

"it's just that i…" your voice grows softer and quieter the more you attempt to speak and your heart thuds feverishly in your chest that you're pretty much aware he must notice it too, "everything feels terrible," you admit hesitantly and flutter your eyes up at him, your gaze fanning over the soft pink across his facial features.

neuvillette begins to move his thumb across your cheek, "please forgive me for failing us," he whispers weakly, on the brink of tears, "for failing the only thing that made life worth living," his throat adds a slightly hoarse perception to his tone.

your eyes widen as you attempt to drop your head if not for neuvillette holding your cheek in his palm as a whirlwind of crystallines well up in your eyes, sousing your lashes.

your mind was gone, but suddenly you can think more clear— and you're not depending on the damaging daze that was originally controlling your body's autopilot feature— the grueling circle of work, sleep, repeat.

you sniffle between words, "no!" and helplessly slant into his chest as to bury your face in the fabric of his garments, "it's my fault, not yours!" continuing to cry and wail and sob your heart out.

"please don't hate me! don't resent me!"

being able to finally let go of all those stored emotions in your heart felt utterly freeing, as if an unbearable weight was lifted off your chest.

how did you two even end up in this situation? can someone, just anyone, make this agony for the both of you stop?

neuvillette shushes your cries with a soft shhh, folding his arms around your waist before smoothing one hand across your back. he decides to rest his head on top of yours, his warm breath fanning against your hair as you return his hug, pulling him deeper into you.

"i could never hate you," neuvillette sighs, "it's because i have never stopped loving you," before putting on weight around his embrace on you— perhaps as to prepare himself, because he was sure you were about to smack him due to what he just bluntly admitted to you.

while he knows it was certainly deserved as well, no excuse would make this proclamation easier even in the slightest.

but he doesn't regret it, it's over now. he just wanted to get this off his chest even if you'd most likely break off any remaining contact to him— although now he realizes that you've given him so much and he won't let you go again, not before repeatedly telling you that he loves you, loves you, loves you.

despite him believing that his efforts went to waste.

to his surprise, you did not hit him, nor did you yell at him or ask if he's hit his head somewhere— instead, you slowly move yourself from his chest, a saddened gaze meeting his own as a single tear falls from your eye.

your answer dwells a moment before you push it out, "i love you too," and whisper, "i love you so much," before you're peering at him with an expression he couldn't begin to decipher— for what's obvious, it's pure and selfless, a startled hum immediately following the last syllable that leaves your mouth when neuvillette suddenly slants his head forward to feel your lips.

RULE NUMBER 4: DO NOT FUCK UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, PLEASE JUST DON'T DO IT, SNAP OUT OF IT, DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT SEX WHILE BEING IN THE SAME ROOM TOGETHER

by all means, this wasn't supposed to happen— hell, you don't even know how you got here.

but his eyes were enticing as they meet your gaze, a deep source of exuberance affecting your delirium and when he leans into you to kiss your lips, his soft lashes clash against your skin, his traces subtle enough to make you feel a faint tingle shiver downwards your heat.

against all odds, neuvillette was terrible at making this any easier for the two of you, no matter how hard you tried to pull away after the third, fourth or fifth kiss, there was no way of ending this and his tongue made sure to clash against yours at each lap— this passion, it had no resistance, it will always find a way to flourish.

nothing more, nothing less, and you've got the iudex right under a fucking spell because even when his life felt depressing after you left him, when he was living through all those weeks and tried to navigate through this divorce— now, his heart had suddenly begun to beat again, although neuvillette knew that this would go against the fourth, and most important rule you had set up.

but he cannot stop.

blood racing, nerves alight, he pushes you against the desk and helps you to get on top of it.

you wanted him to pleasure you, needed him to use his hands and devour those pretty lips of yours— whine as his mouth carvs in a smirk, so excited and sooth as silk when you wrap your arms around his neck to push his frame against your chest, so he could easily rest his entire weight on top of your own.

"you're gorgeous," he coos, "so utterly breathtaking," the thought of you craving his attention to that level was flooding him with pride, it made his skin crawl with a thousand thunderous vibrations that hit the bulge in his pants, your wet kisses and hot traces fueling the withdrawals of your soul on his skin.

the dizziest groan touches your glossed lips— and neuvillette flips over your skirt to expose your drenched panties to his hungry stare, his eyes instantly hard with lust and love, every measure of his yearning openly shown as his cock twitches uncomfortably in his clinging pants.

you moan a dreamy sigh when the freezing office air hits your most sensitive parts, the tone leaving your lips high-pitched and desperate to feel more of him. in response, you earn a rough groan from neuvillette as he discards of his belt, dopamine shaking his soul alive, manifesting ruthlessly and tempting as you hug him tight, your erected nipples crushing against his strong chest.

you kiss along his neck with tenderness and feel the intense force of redness on his flustered cheeks, your tongue swift to blend over the quivering skin as you lash fiercely at the outline of his jaw between sharp flares of teeth tickling his face— his bewitching expression being held captive by your hand gripping his jaw hard enough to pull him towards you.

unwinding with relief, neuvillette manages to pull his tight slacks off, sighing as he drew out his hard cock and aching balls— instantly taking himself in his palm before fisting it slow in front of your hole. a thrum of arousal around the slit of his tip intensifies his need to crowd you with his shaft, and he gracefully strokes himself until you wrap your fingers around his wrist as to stop him for a second.

"i want you to make love to me," you mumble impatiently, "it's been so long," and neuvillette follows your lead in a flash and a quick nod of his head, making sure that you're sitting all comfortable on the desk and that you wouldn't hurt yourself with a random utensil on the table before he urges you to wrap your legs around his waist, your thighs squeezing his hips close.

"everything you say, i do," neuvillette reassures you, "forever,"

your broken moans and bulging eyes excite him, not to mention when you refuse to let go of him. of course, who knows what will happen after desire subsides and you're both thinking rationally again, after all, you do trust him with your life, but you're still divorced and sure you would look stunning on your second wedding with him, he would very much prefer to marry you right after fucking the broad daylight out of your figure.

gently clutching at your clothes, neuvillette slowly lifts up the fabric until you're wholly exposed for him to feast on, at last working your panties down your legs as they hit the ground, a coy smile spreading across his lips— your naked body was prancing in front of him, reminding him on how gorgeous you were, especially now as your lips hang apart and your lewd whines spill from the tip of your tongue.

your pretty nipples were erected as well, laying a familiar caress up his spine when you grind your chest against his chiseled one, encircling the exposed skin until it comes to meet in front.

"just look at you," he mutters proudly, almost to himself, his cheeks flushed as he ducks his head to hide the beginnings of a pleased smile when he kisses your shoulder. the praises set your blood raising, pumping a hotness into your pussy as you moan out his name in sweet tandem, feeling the slight trace of his cock-head shadowing your hole.

you will do so well tonight, neuvillette thinks to himself, and before he helps you keep your legs parted, he teases your entrance with a half-hearted push of his cock. you want him closer and carry on to search for his entire weight on top of you as his dripping dick slides past the tight edges of your hole, your pussy throbbing as it began to hurt a little— just a bit, and it's important to note that you weren't used to this anymore, used to him, and it's because all the pheromones are currently leaving your body that it was worth having a slight pain come by.

because you knew neuvillette will do anything in his power to make it hurt as little as possible— so you could enjoy his erection painting your walls white as you moan avidly, your pussy rubbing deliciously on him, his hand continuously massaging the delicious, soft skin of your thighs and ass.

you breathe a shaky sigh of relief when he snakes himself half-way in, a gentle breeze of your whimpers scatter across the room as neuvillette continues to push inch after inch of himself into you, your body relaxing underneath his much bigger one as you welcome him, beautiful moans and whimpers spilling from the back of your throat.

oh, how much you missed sucking in his cock like your life depended on it— and whatever issues would arise after this sinful encounter, neither of you was giving an inch of mind to those future concerns.

"there you go, that's what you need," neuvillette grunts, tensing his jaw and limiting his breathing because fuck, how are you still so fucking tight— in any other case, he would never skip foreplay with you, knowing that his size tends to be too big for your pussy, sometimes offering you help in spreading your puffy cunt apart— but he is aware that you're extra wet today, he notices how much easier it was to slide himself through your walls and collect your slick.

a slightest raw edge of desperation made his groan sound almost like a plea when your pussy clamps down on his shaft, and neuvillette moans softly as he bows down to trap your lips against his own, sliding down his tongue and lapping at yours, wet and slow, wet and slow, a low hiss of pleasure accentuating his skilled ministrations.

your pussy squeezes him gently and wets him thoroughly so that his flushed cock glistens in your walls as neuvillette allows himself to nuzzle his face against your neck, humming appreciatively when he began to move his hips, drinking in the light tears that swell in the corners of your eyes as he kisses them away.

everything was so filthy, just like that, and you're back to square one again— it's lewd enough to make his cock throb heavily between your legs when he picks up on his shallow tempo, warm and viscous grinds of his thick cock pounding you in two, wild and passionate burning through your sore hole and matching the rhythm of your hips that were catching his shoves halfway.

fuck, you missed his cock filling you up, shaking at the added stimulation when one hand squeezes your tits— not to mention how heavy it felt to have him deep in your guts again, his slicked erection pawing through your walls and searching for your pleasure spots, until you're practically writhing of overstimulation, most importantly releasing the stress you endured those past weeks.

somehow, everything felt more intense tonight— ecstatic and as if you're drugged of his cock, like you broke off the connection from clear reality each moment his tip inches down the searing spots in your cunt— your screams muffled by his strong shoulder which resulted in your noises coming out in weak cries and sobs.

"i'm— i'm so close." it's the way you said it, the way you wanted him to hear you.

neuvillette glances down on you, "yeah?" he cannot hold back anymore, your walls were too hot and too tight, his thudding erection cornering your bruised pussy as his cheeks turn cherry red— the tip of his ears shading the same color, "will never let you go again..." the following sentence comes from under his breath, a strong utterance, holding graven significance as it ignites flames deep within the pits of your core.

it's so unbelievably sexy when you tell him that he's about to make you cum, and the repeated proclamations of love were aiding your orgasm in unraveling much more intense— neuvillette parts his lips before pinching your nipples in between his digits, never faltering nor losing the steady streams of thrusts on your sex, paying no mind to your minor struggle of keeping his thick member within your sloppy hole.

the moans you sob are bringing him such satisfaction as well, particularly the ones of his name made him swallow down the assembling saliva in his mouth, leaving small kisses against your face as his adams apple bobs harshly against his throat when he grinds his hips into your heat— your slick seeping out at the corners of your hole as your beautiful legs hover over his waist to get into that ideal position.

he cups your pretty face without stopping the shallow tempo on your cunt, "i.. want you to look at me," his rhythm becoming blistering and rapid— it almost pains him to hold himself back, or the desire to cum but wanting to make you climax first. it's like his shaft runs through satin, pressing back and forth the finest silk but it's your pussy instead, so soft and taking his shape, you're made for him and he'll never let you forget.

even though he could hardly breathe because of how achingly hard he was, caged within the tight embrace of your walls as tears spring to his eyes, slip down his flaming cheeks, being wild and free and finally one with you again— in addition to the exciting sounds of wet noises of skin clashing on skin providing the last bonus puzzle pieces to make you spiral out of complete control.

a static crushes as if underwater in your ears— and neuvillette rolls his hips fast and hard, purring deeply when your legs wrap and urge him to penetrate you further. the pleasure buried in you was coiling from the base of your spine and found the candid bubble in your belly before snapping into a million pieces— your gorgeous noises finding his ears as he fucks you faster, yanking his head back and clenching his jaw as you came apart together, moaning into each others mouths and welcoming your orgasm with melting, soothing moans.

you shake your head and bury yourself into his warm embrace, earning you a smile you cannot even see when your thighs shake around his waist as he continues to pump his seed into you, the warm covers of milky whites prolonging your orgasm and intensifying it to a tenfold.

just in time too, his hot gift soothes the soreness on your walls as neuvillette deafens your body with a post-orgasm sensitivity that catches you in a trance, his cock still buried inside and never leaving your tight hole as you work to somehow get a hold of your breath again, letting you ease the stress he senses from you.

the stone-hard desk underneath you was bruising and uncomfortable, but it's bearable when you nuzzle yourself into your ex lover, or, well— current lover? soon to be fiance again?

"do not worry your pretty head," his hand lovingly brushes over your head as you fuse into his trace, "i will take care of everything," as he's allowing you to indulge in the intimate atmosphere you have missed so dearly, "i could marry you right this second, wherever you want," and with that sort of enthusiasm, you hold in every passing word with love, knowing that whatever the case— neuvillette and you will figure out a way, but you'll do it together, as a team.

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orkbutch · 3 months

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Rambling about Astarion bc im bored at work. I like Astarion because I think he is a genius take on The Evil RPG Companion, and is an especially great take on The Fixable Bad Guy. I don't think hes evil, but I do think Astarion is a genuinely bad person at the beginning, and I think Astarion is only drawn away from being a bad person - and experiences a great redemption arc - via active intervention from others. Astarion would not redeem himself without guidance; he is absolutely bent toward self destruction and evil at the beginning of the story.

I think comparing him with Shadowheart is what drew me to that conclusion. If you are nice to Shadowheart, as in you talk to her and respect her boundaries and do stuff she generally agrees with, she will choose to free Nightsong all on her own. You don't need to roll to convince her at all, or romance her or even push back on her Shar worship that much. You just leave it up to her, and she chooses that path. (Side note, what brilliant writing.)

Astarion is not like that at all. Even if you were tight as fuck he would not choose the good option, with no input, in Act 2. Astarion, like all the companions, needs help and connection to reach healthy actualization, but I think its great, resonant writing that Astarion needs the most active intervention of all. Because he's had his autonomy so completely taken away from him, he simply doesn't know how to use it anymore. He doesn't know how to connect with other people anymore. He's someone that's learned to enjoy cruelty, to resent the pleasure of others, and to be entirely selfish for survival. It makes sense that he must be dragged back into being capable of trust. He needs to be forced to be part of a community again; caring about things; allowing for vulnerability and optimism.

And like. How fucking smart is it to have THIS guy in THIS game. Because of the tadpole and the existential threat they're up against, he is actually forced to work with you. This kind of character is so hard to do in most RPGs because its like... why wouldn't he just betray you all and leave? Why would he stick with you? The tadpole clears all of that up. Astarion must stick with you or hes lost and dead. Astarion knows that you and the other companions are collectively stronger than him, so he can't betray you. He is forced to rely on you by default.

This is also what makes him SUCH a good version of the "you can fix him" romance; you are almost never the direct target of Astarion's bastardry because he can't fuck with you. The problem with Fix Him's is that usually they are a threat to the romantic lead, and fixing him requires enduring, soothing and forgiving the worst of his badness as some kind of test of loyalty, hopefully proving to him that being bad isn't necessary (toxic shit). But Astarion... can't do that. He is afraid to actually fuck you over because you are directly tied to his survival, and because you quickly show yourself to be more capable than him. He cannot have real power over you. (Until he's ascended, then he becomes the absolute worst version of the fix-it.)

I do think the trade off is that Astarion not directing his bastardry at you makes it easier to Ignore that Astarion is A Bad Guy, but I think that'd happen even if he was more of an asshole to you, so who cares. I think he's got the best written Redeemable Evil RPG Companion arch I've seen honestly. I love that he's so fun while being so tragic, whether redeemed or not.

#Astarion #bg3

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canyourfavesurvivecastledracula · 3 months

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Indiana Jones?

My gut answer is that Indiana Jones is far too manful to make it through, but I have been urged to consider the fact that he isn't just a bold Adventurer, he's also a Professor of Archaeology. He has expertise thar may well be relevant to the question.

I read a lovely essay on here once that talks about Indy's arc being one of acquiring a sense of reverence for the divine. I think the argument was that Temple of Doom should be understood as a prequel because it backpedals that characterization which becomes crucial in the Last Crusade. All this to say it might be an oversimplification to pigeonhole him as the kind of cocky that gets you immediately killed. He would accept the gift of the crucifix. He might have enough background knowledge to know what he's getting into, or at least recognize it when he sees it.

If he comes to Castle Dracula in his affect as Professor, he's got a fair shot at being wildly underestimated. But he also probably doesn't have his whip... not that the whip would help him much in this situation. The intercepted letters are exactly the sort of ploy he might try and fail at, after which the theft is inevitable - no whip, no gun, no hat (!!). Poor Indy.

I think though the thing he's most hampered by is the absence of mooks. Indiana Jones overwhelmingly survives his adventures because disposable mooks get killed first. Or he punches one and takes his clothes. He gets to Find Out because Nazis went first and Fucked Around. He relies hugely on other people, both allies and enemies, and there are no other people at Castle Dracula. Like... maybe Dracula's hired movers might be able to play a similar role? But they don't come into the Castle.

I don't think he'd go for the wolves, because be has a long history of noping himself away from clear and present danger. He also has the kind of face that seems to make villains want to tie him to a chair and monologue at him, and we know how Dracula loves a captive audience, so he might actually be funny enough long enough to stay alive. I guess it depends on whether Dracula enjoys having insults spat at him in impotent defiance from a guy tied to a chair as much as he enjoys forcing a guy to smile and nod in hopeless terror while still playing the perfect host. Indy has no problem being rude to people who have him tied to things. It's a toss up but I don't know if it's got two solid months of staying power.

On the other hand IF Castle Dracula has a secret escape tunnel (and what self-respecting castle doesn't) he can definitely find it.

Actually, actually though, if Indy can make it to the end of the sequence by playing the helpless nerd, can escape, because he's the sort of guy who will try to smuggle himself out in one of the dirt boxes. Even if he doesn't get out the door that way, if he can stay put until the movers arrive this becomes a Punching Mooks task, which is what he's good at.

So I am going to say that Professor Henry "Indiana" Jones can survive Castle Dracula, just because I want to see the inevitable exploding lieterwagon chase

#indiana jones #academics #action heroes

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gothic-soda · 10 months

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Accepting help: Tulin and the Champions

For all the problems I have with totk, one thing I love about it is the development of the sages, particularly Tulin.

His arc is about learning how to accept help from others, which is so interesting when compared to Revali, who was very isolated and had to be self reliant. Revali seemingly had no family or anyone else in his life to fall back on, and as a result he had to become the best possible version of himself as a warrior to make up for that. In BotW we see Revali go to EXTREME lengths to be the best warrior he can be.

A comparison could even be made between Revali and the rest of the Champions. What they all have in common is that they all died alone in their divine beasts. No one came to rescue them. Zelda and Link had each other, and that’s ultimately how they both managed to survive the calamity. The champions had only themselves to rely on in their final moments, and in the end it wasn’t enough.

But back to Tulin, his arc (and to a lesser extent the other Sages arcs are about this as well) is about accepting help from others. Tulin has his parents, Link and the other Sages to fall back on. Tulin wanted to prove that he was strong enough on his own, but eventually realised that his strength came from those around him. Tulin receives the Great Eagle Bow when he shows that he can be strong AND accept help when he needs it.

Even the new Sage’s powers are all designed in a way that reinforces this. The Champion’s abilities were all gifts that they honed to use by themselves, they used their powers to fight alongside their allies, but still their powers were never really meant to be used though a second party. In a way, their gifts are weakened when they are given to Link. For example Mipha’s Grace can only be used on Link in BotW, but when she was alive she could heal anyone.

By contrast, the Sage’s abilities are supposed to be used with the aid of another, they are amplified by Link. Tulin’s gust is more or less useless to Tulin himself, but with another person it had a lot of utility. Yunobo requires someone to aim him to get the most out of his charge. Riju is still learning how to control her lightning and needs someone else to direct it. While Sidon could probably use the water shield on himself, Sidon wants to protect others, so his power manifests as a physical shield to protect his friend.

This idea of the champions being isolated and not being able to receive much help from others makes a lot of sense. They were the last line of defence for Hyrule, they were the Plan B incase Zelda did not awaken her powers. When they became Champions, all of them were well respected warriors amongst their people, a lot of responsibility fell on them to be the protectors of not only their people, but all of Hyrule. For them to show weakness would mean Hyrule losing faith in their beloved champions.

The new Sages have a support system that the Champions did not have, they are allowed to have faults and not be perfect, because they have other people to support them and I think that’s beautiful.

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moonkissedvisions · 2 months

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Astrology observations! (Vedic, Western)

Consider:

• These observations are based on my personal experiences, intuition and knowledge, not research. Use your own discernment.

• I'm not a professional astrologer. I've been learning Western astrology since 2016 and I started learning about Vedic only 2 years ago. Astrology is one of my passions since I was really young but I didn´t focus on it as a profession. You can ask me questions or send me a message ofc :), but I don't offer any astrological readings or give professional advice.

• This is meant to be fun and entertaining, so if I said something that you didn't like or that you disagree with, be kind and don't take it personal. These are just really general observations based on 3-8 examples! If you want, we can discuss anything here as long as you are respectful.

• English is not my first language.

Now let´s read!

I never experienced true telepathy until I met a Venus conjunct Neptune man. He would look at my face and know exactly what I'm thinking and feeling, and he would be so understanding of it, even when it was something potentially hurtful to his ego. These people are psychic lovers and I'm afraid they are often seen with abusive people who take advantage of their unconditional love.

Mars-Saturn aspects in synastry is an indicator of only wanting to have sex with only this person, or could be that the couple can go for long times without being intimate and not feel like they need it.

This may sound obvious, but Ardra nakshatra people are the ones that feel so renewed by crying. They could heal A LOT by just a long crying session. And while others think "crying won't solve your problems" Ardra nakshatra people know this is so far from the truth. I am an Ardra rising and sometimes i tell my friends that i cried for hours to feel better and they are all like "if I cried like that i would feel so much worse but I'm happy for you" lol.

Hasta nakshatra men are such women worshippers. Hasta women are so maternal.

If i wanted good financial advice I would ask a Venus in the second house person. Specially women. Ik they are known overspenders but I had many good experiences with them.

In fact, I've seen some cases where people follow the advice of Taurus/2nd house individuals more often than other people's advice. They perceive it as being more valuable, I suppose.

Anuradha nakshatra individuals love movies about friendship and gore/horror movies. I think they like movies in general too.

Krittika nakshatra people are often perceived as "mean" or they say things that others take too personally? Idk but I know 3 cases like that. They are so unapologetic. The 3 of them were perceived as asexual too.

As a Swati moon I've always been obsessed with beauty, decorating, fashion and clothes, putting on creams, balms, perfumes and other products and it makes sense!

My obsession with beauty wasn't healthy tho. I suffered from mental illness and could see the slightest imperfection on my face. That's another thing about Swati individuals, they perceive every subtle, small detail and may become obsessed with stuff easily.

True crime documentaries are a Ketu woman´s best friend. Probably Ketu men as well, although what i observed from them is more of adventure movies, movies about survival or nature documentaries. Teen Wolf is the perfect Ketu people TV show. Criminal Minds too. And they were both created by a Ketu man.

I love Mercury nakshatra women's voices. They are also so funny and sarcastic.

I know three cases of people with a mix of tropical pisces/neptune and aquarius/uranus having lucid dreams/dreams they can partially control, and dreams about flying. They also rarely have nightmares but when they do it's not something happening to them but to other people, and they are there trying to help lol.

Rahu women or rahuvians in general could feel like they don't even understand themselves sometimes. They're so independent and hard to tame that they feel like they need something to "control" them or some kind of restraint, but nothing feels effective or worth it at the end. I observed in my grandma, a Swati moon woman, that she used to brag about how independent she was, refused to stay married, hated feeling restrained so much and then she ended up wishing someone took care of her, gave energy and time to her, took the lead for her. She doesn´t necessarily regret being someone unconventional and independent, but she recognizes that now that she is old.

Uttara Bhadrapada and Rohini nakshatra people like learning and are so curious about some aspects of sex, they may even want to be sexologists. Could also apply to Ardra.

Cancer women get a lot of hate for apparently no reason. I even heard people saying they hate Cancer women as if they knew all Cancer women in the world?? I think the most simple explanation for that is that Cancer represents a lot of what's a woman's nature and power which are erased in a patriarchy.

Everyone talks about how Aries people get over anger so easily and never hold grudges but I've actually seen the opposite. In a lot of cases they are worse than the common "resentful" water and earth signs.

Aries in general have a hard time apologizing. It's like they never did anything wrong, the others were just unfair to them. I know SO MANY examples of this unhealthy expression.

A nice observation now lol is that I've never met an Aries that didn't have beautiful red lips and cheeks.

I noticed a lot of Moon and some Mars people have a significant amount of moles/freckles. The Spanish word for mole is lunar lol.

People with Mercury/Saturn aspects or Saturn in the third house felt "dumb" when young. Because of it, they made a lot of efforts and worked hard to know stuff and be smart by reading a lot of books, watching a lot of documentaries and educational videos, playing general knowledge games, learning a lot of words and languages, taking a lot of classes, playing memory games, chess, and even researching cognitive processes and brain health.

I've noticed that many Sun dominant women have this lowkey unhealthy expression of not being good friends with other women/feminine individuals. They're the type to say women are a lot of drama or that they can't connect with them even though they don't have a specific problem with women. They may be friends with only guys, or feel isolated from women. They also used to want to be a guy or dressed/still dresses tomboyish (there isn't anything wrong with that). I think in a way it's completely understandable and even healthy! But some of them express a lot of internalized misogyny and unconscious projections that they can't or don't want to recognize. When their expression is healthy, Sun dominant people are totally the warmest, best friends. And just the type of person others need around and in their life.

Saturn in the 5th house people are often self-taught artists. Some people perceive them as boring because they can be really afraid of expressing themselves. They give a lot in romantic relationships and often don´t get the same in return but they want to keep going because they care about loving more than being loved.

Sagittarius people make good parents in general and they are so underrated as parents. They give their children freedom, make them experience fun things like traveling, and often spoil them in a good sense! They also teach them a lot of valuable things and make them laugh!

Virgos are the most considerate and thoughtful people. They remember stuff about you even if you barely know them and they barely know you. They give you what you need at the right moment. They remember how you make your bed, how you fold your clothes and then they surprise you with an act of service. They know exactly what to gift each person.

Saturn dominant people/saturn in the first house/conj ascendant could suffer from a lot of anxiety and overthinking. They also criticize themselves for irrelevant stuff and that's so sad because everytime I'm near a saturn dominant I can't get enough of their energy! There is something really pleasant about them. They are also giving, considerate and nice hosts/hostesses. They make people feel included and heard. I made a personal observation about saturn nakshatra men here (based in this video)

Ceres-ascendant aspects/Ceres in the 1st are the perfect homemakers.

Thank you for reading! See you in next post :)

Here you can see my last pac reading <3

images from pinterest, dividers by @muruffin

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blueteller · 11 months

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Cale be like: "Let's just buy the Magic Tower" – everyone else: *shocked Pikachu face*

I don't think enough people appreciate what utterly crazy, audacious, outside-the-box thinking Cale displayed back when he decided on that move.

People overlook it, because Cale does a lot of other crazy, audacious things, both before and after the Magic Tower. But in my opinion, this one was one the smartest and craziest.

From a reader's POV, it might not seem that crazy. Cale naturally presents the ruined Magic Tower as a perfect oppurtunity from TBOAH: it's described to contain a ton of treasures, some of which were found by Toonka and the Anti-Magic Faction, and some of which were lost. It only makes sense that he'd want to loot it and take the treasures.

However, that's not all what Cale did, no no no. Cale didn't just break into the Magic Tower and loot stuff. He actually, legally, bought the whole place, including the land it was standing on. And it was a genius move which changed the course of the entire war in the future.

Let's break it all down, shall we?

First of all, he made a deal with Alberu. Cale used the Crown Prince's money to buy the Magic Tower, and he did it nearly without a warning, which might have pissed him off... However, Cale wanted to make the Roan Kingdom stronger, so he gave Alberu the device belonging to the Liege of the Magic Faction, which would allow him to contact all the magical refugees from the Whipper Kingdom. Basically, Cale paid Alberu back in full – because the Roan Kingdom desperately needed magic users to strengthen their military.

Secondly, Cale created an alliance with Toonka, and thus the entire Whipper Kingdom. This alliance let Cale have influence when they later went to the war against the Empire. Without Toonka being on board, Cale wouldn't have been able to manipulate the battles against Adin the way he did. Against all odds, Toonka actually became one of this most useful allies later on.

Thirdly, by involving himself with the Whipper Kingdom, Cale actually saved it in the long run. Through Cale, Whipper was able to enter the alliance with the other countries who stood against the Empire and Arm. For example, the Jungle helped provide food to the Whipper Kindom – which in TBOAH, they had to steal from the Jungle in order to survive, leading to a conflict between the two. Instead of enemies, Toonka and Litana became allies.

Next, thanks to Cale being the one who proposed bringing back the Whipper Kingdom mages for reinforcements as mercenaries, during the war against the Empire, Cale helped out with lessening the hatred against magic among the citizens. Basically, by creating this debt of gratitude, the Whipper Kingdom won't be discriminating as badly against mages in the future. That's a huge deal.

Also, by becoming the owner of the Magic Tower, Cale had power over the documents containing the studies concerning magic resistance. The Whipper Kingdom wouldn't have used the information benevolently on their own, that's for sure; there was still too much hatred towards magic at the time. By limiting their access to the information, Cale actually helped them as well.

And finally, by giving the Anti-Magic Faction money from purchasing the Magic Tower, Cale literally bought time. He actually delayed the main conflict on the continent – because, as I mentioned already, the Whipper Kingdom was going to face financial problems due to food shortage, which would have resulted in them going after the Jungle (and Elisneh would have fanned the flames by controling Litana's people with illusions, too). He gave the Roan Kingdom more time to prepare for the war, and Toonka went after the Empire instead, gathering their attention and pulling it away from Cale's country. What feels natural progression for the readers was actually a huge divergence from what happened in TBOAH.

It might have seemed like a simple move at the time in the novel, based entirely on Cale's scammer's way of thinking and greed for money. But it was so much more than that. It was a very calculated, extremely bold move, which Cale came up entirely on his own.

...You think it was obvious to anyone in that world that you could simply buy a building such as the Magic Tower? That it was even an option? Not a chance!!!

It was essentially the fortress belonging to the true rulers of Whipper Kingdom. It was like a royal castle. Who in their right mind comes up with buying the castle of the rulers of a foreign country, right after a major revolution?? Such places are normally never for sale! The only reason it worked in the first place was because Toonka was so crazy he couldn't care less about it! It would have never worked if the Anti-Magic faction hated the magic users any less than they did!!

What Cale did was utterly ingenious. He doesn't get enough credit for such a ballsy move.

#tcf #trash of the count's family #lcf #lout of the count’s family #cale henituse #cale #tcf cale #toonka #tcf toonka #cale is a magnificent bastard #analysis #tcf meta

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direquail · 3 months

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My specific read on John is not that he's a nice guy, either. It's that, like any good character (specifically a tragic character, which, TM has said that he is modeled on a mythical tragic hero, so) he has a flaw that dooms him. And what that means is, when he has the choice to change what he's doing, that flaw either prevents him from taking the option he's aware of, or prevents him from being aware that there is another option altogether.

And so as a writer, what I look for are moments where either:

something good about a character becomes an excess that harms themselves or others

we receive information that shows a persistent blind spot a character has

we look for times when a character gives their view of the world/a situation and it Does Not Match Up with reality, or is hinted that it doesn't

we look for evidence of something simmering under the surface that clashes with their outward, agreeable presentation

What fills that role for John?

Yep.

When this first pops up, it's pretty easily dismissed as yet another layer on the falsehood he's propped up. Admittedly, he's been doing it for ten thousand years, so it's probably got a few layers to it.

However:

This one, to me, gives us a hint about what John is blind to: That his friends see his vindictiveness and his failings and that they could still love him. This is where it crosses into tragedy, for me; where his own inability to forgive blinds him to the capacity that other people have for generosity--and so, to a world where "justice" means more than "vengeance for the dead".

And this illuminates the whole chain of events that leads him to that climactic scene in Harrow the Ninth, telling Mercy that she never would have forgiven him anyways:

John is, at heart, deeply angry--like most characters in the series, and like a lot of people who grew up in poverty, especially if they managed to escape it. He also has some deep sense of justice, and deep sense of judgment.

So we have this cycle of related emotions and ideas: Justice, judgment, outrage. And a human measure of selfishness, amorality, double standards, etc.

In one situation, this allows him to throw himself completely into the cryo project, something that (if it hadn't been sabotaged politically) could have made a difference to humanity. He brings in people who work to make it even better, who demonstrably want to make the outcome as just and humane as possible. It's also implied that this is part of why he received those powers; "I chose you to change."

(And, I'll be honest, one of the other things that I see that chafes me is the implication that there was nothing about John to recommend him to the Earth. I'm actually of the opinion that there was; she chose him, and I don't think she just rolled a d100 or drew a card off a tarot deck and called him up. John is also still a human, flawed person.)

Then, the situation changes. It's no longer an issue of dedicating expertise to solve a problem; this is a political issue, and specifically of rich people using their resources to shift outcomes towards the one they think will benefit them the most, that will secure their survival, explicitly at the expense of everyone else.

And their strategy is, profoundly: short-sighted and unnecessary (pooling resources would help create a better outcome for everyone, including the rich, by reducing global trauma and preserving more of the systems that already structure their world); bigoted and uninformed (many rich people think that the world has to be a certain way, generally that the world is violent, competitive, dog-eat-dog, etc., and someone has to be "on top", and there will always have to be a loser, or lots of losers); and utterly cruel, unjust, and pointless.

And John--John, who grew up poor, who grew up aware of the despair around him and the injustice of his position and more than likely made use of that anger to achieve what he had up to this point--John is so angry.

Because they're all the same. They're all the same. It's the same song, over and over again, no matter how stupid and pointless and unnecessary. He is certain, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that it doesn't have to be this way. He passes judgment.

But John is losing to them, because he doesn't have the resources they do. He can hate them and fight them all he wants, and it doesn't matter, because he's nowhere near in the same league as they are politically.

And then, after the cryo project is cancelled, he gains his powers.

The thing about anger and judgment is that the deeper it runs, often, the more invested the person who holds that anger in themselves is in not seeing what they hate in themselves. E.g: John has conceptualized the people he's resisting as fundamentally unjust, cruel, amoral, and bigoted. There's a very good chance--to different degrees, depending on the person--that becoming aware of similar traits in himself might wake up those feelings he has towards those other people--aimed at himself (that is, cognitive dissonance). He can't see the things he's passed judgment on in himself and function. He's not like them; he's trying to fix things, to bring about justice.

Of course, there's justice as in "living in a just society", and justice as in "justice for the dead". But that's a later realization, because right now, everyone is still alive.

So John hides those parts of himself; from himself, from other people. So thoroughly he can exclude it from his consciousness and pretend it doesn't exist. He thinks no one sees the real depth of his own rage, his own cutthroat pursuit of a solution. And then, when he can't pretend it doesn't exist, he can still pretend to be the man he thinks they need him to be. He can "fool" them. He can say--he's trying. He screwed up. He doesn't know what he's doing.

And then, Casseiopeia says, No, actually, we know you, and we know you're horribly vindictive. And we're on your side--we're on the same side--our fight is your fight--and we love you. But your drive for revenge is seriously limiting your ability to imagine and create a living, just world, and that's what we're fighting for. Remember? That's what we set out to create.

And John's brain can't quite handle this; he can't imagine that they could actually see him and still be on his side. Because he couldn't see that and still be on his side. He can't forgive; he can't imagine forgiveness.

He can't see the things he's passed judgment on in himself and function.

And, by this stage, in some ways, it's already too late to change course. But this is one of several "come to Jesus" (no pun intended) moments where John could become aware of alternatives, or could change his behavior--and doesn't.

And I think this is where we get that self-awareness from, the thing that makes him creepy and tragic but also infuriating: He is aware, but apparently that's not enough to stop him from being his worst self--so is he just pretending to be moral? Capable of making different choices but choosing not to? And the weird statements he makes later:

This is, imo, not a power-hungry dictator who genuinely doesn't care about the cost of his throne, or a gleefully predatory abuser. This is a dude who's committed to a course of action and doesn't feel great about it. This is a guy who has violated his own sense of justice and has to live with it.

This is a guy who set out to save the world, killed it, and now the only thing that's left to him is to avenge it.

And like, from a mythology standpoint, that is exactly what the Erinyes are, like the Furies and Alecto. They are not the justice of Apollo or Athena. They are screaming for blood. They are hunting their quarry to the ends of the universe. They are chthonic.

Again: This isn't what Cassieopeia or Christabel said to him. This is what John has said to himself. This came from him. This is a reflection of what he believes.

And it encapsulates, exactly, why he erased their memories. Why he took away their agency.

The difference between him and many, many people is he had the power of a god and no one to check him when he was struggling with his own worst impulses. And then, he created a world where no one could, not just because then he could do what he wanted and pretend to be kind and loving and moral, but so that he would never have to lose the love of the people he needed.

Because, unfortunately, he still needed them.

It just took ten thousand years for the lie to unravel.

#the locked tomb #john gaius #tlt meta #i'm not a john gaius apologist. i just think about cognitive dissonance a lot #and frankly tumblr and twitter are the home of cognitive dissonance

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aziraphales-library · 5 months

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Hello!! I was just wondering if you knew of any fics similar to In Love We Rise by AJ_Constantine, like in the sense that they're slowly exploring and figuring each other out, like eventually progressing up to kissing and then, y'know, but in a fluffy kind of way? Im not sure if that makes any sense tho but thank you anyway! (P.s. i love this blog so much, you people are actually amazing at this! I hope you all have a lovely day/night :])

Hi! You might be interested in our #developing relationship tag for fics along these lines. Here are some more for you...

Love and Lust in Mesopotamia by The_Bentley (E)

Living among humans means sampling their activities, including the sexual ones. There's only one problem. Crawly isn't interested in women, but he is in Aziraphale, who is attracted to him in return. If Crawly agrees, Aziraphale would like to show him that physical affection can exist between two beings who are presenting as the same gender.

It's Getting Hard, This Holding Back by ZehWulf (T)

6,000-odd years is a long time to evolve a romantic relationship, but as a near-immortal being, Crowley had patience. True, they had lost momentum right around reaching the Speaking Looks and Meaningful Gestures stage, but at the time Crowley had been more or less content to let things idle. Now, he was determined to shift things back into gear, and that gear was Explicitly Romantic Physical Expressions of Affection.

Resonance by Macx (T)

They had been friends for six millennia. They had been on their side. There had only been their side. Of course, they had never known it until it was all supposed to end. They had stood against their respective sides, had been hurt, had suffered, had felt desperation, fear and terror. Now it was suddenly over and both Crowley and Aziraphale have to deal with the consequences. Not just those of Up Yours and Down There. They have come a long way at a very slow pace. They have come so much further in just within day. And they were still going incredibly fast, changing, evolving, becoming something that might be part of the Ineffable Plan...

The professor, the old crush, the new love by AccroV (E)

Aziraphale Fell is an english literature professor who freaks out when he discovers that his new colleague is his ex best-friend and crush from high school : the one and only Anthony Crowley. They didn't talk for years after one night in high school. What can happen now ? An AU with : high school memories, awkward flirting and lot of good feelings

Chemistry by Twilightcitysky (E)

Aziraphale and Crowley have been living among humans for 6000 years, but there have always been parts of the human experience they've chosen to avoid (like allergies, head colds, and having to use the loo). They've also never let hormones get in the way of making rational decisions, because they didn't have any hormones to speak of. That's all about to change.

Introduction to Touch by sheendav (E)

Aziraphale and Crowley survive the Not-Pocalypse and profess their love for one another, but Aziraphale has tremendous anxiety about pursuing a physical relationship with Crowley. He genuinely wishes to move forward, but past fears surrounding touch, intimacy and body image are prohibiting him from acting on what his heart (and corporation) really want. Crowley is ready to go as slowly and carefully as needed to be there for his Angel as they pursue their new "Arrangement" step by careful, sweet step.

And the one you mentioned...

In Love We Rise by AJ_Constantine (E)

Ever since the thwarted apocalypse, Aziraphale and Crowley have gradually expanded the boundaries of their relationship. Aziraphale has delighted in slow progression of lingering touches, tender embraces and chaste kisses. He enjoys the demon's company more than ever, but one evening he finds himself in an odd sort of mood, nettlesome and heartsore, and declines Crowley's offer to take him out to dinner. He figures that once he has a good sulk in the privacy of his bookshop, he'll get over it. Crowley decides that won't do, and drags the recalcitrant angel out on a mysterious mission, which ends up taking them on a path that neither of them expects it to.

- Mod D

#good omens #ineffable husbands #adult omens #developing relationship #fluff #mod d

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cursedartistnelari · 2 years

Text

DID YOU SEE THE MOVIE??? IT WAS BEAUTIFUL

The best 120 minutes of my life were there

I know I haven't posted anything in a while, but the university has seriously been ruining me. To be honest, I still haven't been able to make much progress on the next chapter, but as a reward, I decided to give you the context of my story. So today I come to explain what the hell is going on here :)))

(without spoilers)

The drawings are not in order. I actually didn't finish all the pictures but suck it. Take it or leave it.

Enjoy

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It's been a while since the end of the second season, they're all a year older, and apparently blue is the leader now. Does everyone like the idea? Nop

The boys managed to save the world after the almost destruction of everything at the hands of the Shedder, but not without leaving consequences. Strange cracks have recently been reported in the hidden city and New York. These cracks usually appear in random places, have magical properties, their exponential growth periodically, and are characterized by being accompanied by earthquakes wreaking havoc on both worlds. If they do not stop them soon the reality of both civilizations could be harmed. However, no one knows precisely the cause of these, their nature, or their true power... except for Draxum(? He has seen that kind of brilliance before, in his years as a warrior, yokai alchemist, and hater of humans.

As a last resort to save the world, he decides to look for someone who he hurt terribly in the past, Usagi.

Usagi is a 16 year old boy, he was born and raised on the outskirts of the hidden city in a very gated traditional community. Where what is professed is the importance of teaching and preserving the traditions of the first yokais who came from Japan to New York settling in the hidden city to build a new life there. Some time ago, his clan was the only one that had New York, they supported each other. They had a great sense of community and union thanks to the great chief who was blessed with the power of the gods to bring harmony and order.

However, with the passage of time and modernization of human society, several members were moving away from it opting for other forms and lifestyles. This greatly displeased the sages and elders within society, causing new severe rules against anything related to change. Thereby creating a smaller, closed, and remote community until total isolation.

Usagi was born into a society almost forgotten and close to change, he as the only son of the boss, had to learn everything necessary to one day succeed his father and continue with the tradition, he is aware of this. He knows the importance of this. He loves his father and loves his people.

But is it really what usagi wants? What if it wasn't?

Sadly before he could know the answer to that question, misfortune knocked on his door.

"Being different takes you bad places son"

It is one of the words he remembers most from his father as he waits his turn in the cell to get in the ring and fight for his life followed by Draxum's face, he cannot forget it, nor does he want to. Yes, there was a time when he believed he would be the chief. He really thought that some days he would make a change. He thought that he had friends. Did he was someone? Did he ever have a life?

Now he only fights to survive one more day... until some turtle boys appeared to look for him.

Things have not been easy for mad dogs, since the change of leadership from Leo to Rapha, the missions have become more complicated not to mention that his success rate in these has been declining thanks to Leo always ending up acting on his own more than in a team causing arguments between him and Rapha, followed by his two other brothers trying to calm them down.

Raphael is the older brother of the boys, he has been the natural leader of his brothers for years, and despite that, the truth is he has no problem with leaving the leadership to Leo. That is, at first the whole thing brought him a lot of mixed feelings. Was there anything wrong with him? If he was no longer the leader of the mad dogs, what is his role in the team? It was all very confusing, but if Dad thinks it's the right decision to make Leo the leader, that's fine, he wants to support him and teach him everything he knows. But sometimes it's so complicated and frustrating to make Leo understand that every decision that he makes has consequences. The most recent thing they must solve now are those rare and complicated cracks. Honestly, they have Rapha very worried and if Leo does not take it seriously, he does not know what else he can do.

Mikey was always the youngest in the family, he was always loved and protected by his older brothers since dad was not always available for them due to personal problems related to PTSD. Therefore it is normal that he has never liked the conflicts between his brothers and since the change of roles, these have become more frequent. He genuinely wants to help everyone, he is no longer a child who must be overprotected by others, sometimes he can also do the same for his siblings, listen to his problems, propose solutions, and talk.

Things like that.

It's just frustrating that they always underestimate his abilities and treat him like a baby by hiding things that they think he can't handle. Since the magical cracks appeared Mikey has the feeling that this could be his chance to show his brothers that he can help them too, he is the most magical of the family he just needs a chance.

Donnie has never been the best when it comes to feelings or change. There are many things that have changed since the battle with the shedder, starting with Leo who is now apparently the leader. Honestly, he is not very sure about this new change in the team, I mean he loves his brother and he must admit that he has some leadership qualities, but Raphael has always been in charge of leading them, it is a big change that he is terrified that It's going to go wrong and to be fair over the last few weeks Leo hasn't helped him change his mind. Recently cracks started appearing everywhere and maybe his brothers don't understand but if they don't work as a team this could go very wrong, not being good at this feeling thing, he doesn't know how to tell others his worries about the cracks.

Draxum insists that he knows someone. Yeah, of course. Let's trust him.

Leonardo, to be fair with him…

He never wanted to be the leader, "the face man" was a much more comfortable title for him. Honestly, what was dad thinking about that decision? Everyone knew that he didn't have the ability to be the leader, you don't have to be very smart to realize that he's not the one for the job. Being the leader of the mad dogs comes with so much responsibility and pressure, you only have to look at Rapha's forehead to know what he meant. Not to mention that everyone is against his way of doing things, he doesn't want to be the leader, but when he tries, nobody listens to him! He gets results, right? What is the problem, then?? Maybe he doesn't take it too seriously, but he just doesn't want to do this. Must be a bad dad joke and by this point, it's not funny anymore.

The cracks appeared recently and Draxum says that he knows someone who might have an answer for her, he honestly just wants to accomplish this one more mission to prove her point, until a cute boy shows up.

------

I thought about this comic as a way in which I would like to develop different aspects such as trauma, sexuality, their relationships with each other, and insecurities of the characters within the TMNT universe, etc. Since I didn't want this to get stuck on just in one ship. This led me to make the comic longer than I originally intended... and I mean A LOT longer.

For example, the typical rivalry between Leonardo and Raphael, but taken in a different way where Rapha tried to be like a mentor/guide for Leo developing their friendship (just like in the movie)

Donnie's problems over the idea that Draxum is now one of the good guys and he honestly doesn't believe him and doubts that someone like him can change so quickly.

Show a nice relationship between Mikey and Leo, where Angelo acts as a support for his brother and Leo is really willing to listen to Mikey's concerns.

I had planned that after Leo, Donnie would be the one who gets along best with Usagi although no one knows why, maybe it's because they are both quite quiet. At some point, Usagi turns to Don to tell him about his confused feelings for Leo, but Donnie would not be of much help in this regard because I was thinking of doing him aro/ace hahaha therefore he does not understand 100% what is happening to these two but he is sure They like each other and it's annoying to hear them both being so dramatic.

Another relationship I wanted to show would be Rapha's with Cass. In other adaptations, we saw that they have been very close and I wanted them to get along in some way in my AU. For example that Rapha and Cass started talking to each other since he helped her with anger management issues and getting over her past as part of the Foot Clan.

Leosagi wouldn't be the only ship in the AU either. I love Cass x April and I imagine them in a dynamic of enemies to lovers, for me they are girlfriends and I don't care what the rest say they love each other. Since they helped each other grow up, Splinter was the first to notice that they both have a lot in common even if they don't notice it.

Venus de milloooo, she will definitely have an antagonist role~ a turtle that splinter forgot to take and after surviving on her own in the streets of the hidden city. She ended up in the hands of big mama, being one of her champions in the battle of the nexus, earning her trust, leveling up and working for her as her right hand.

Finally, I think about including other characters for which I already have designs and others I don't see idk I want to pamper myself. Everything is possible.

Comic part 1

note 1: to be honest I doubt very much that I will draw the complete story that I develop for this Au, due to lack of time and nobody is paying me asdhadkjk at most a couple of vignettes of my favorite parts, explain the context, fanarts, and designs. But nothing more, I would let the fandom do what they want with this idea, just write leosagi fanfics please, I emotionally depend on that.

note2: I really want to thank @herm_izz and @nanakase_01 for helping me with the art and the script. THEY ARE SO AMAZING JUST GO AND FOLLOW THEM ON TWITTER

note3: I know my English sucks I'm doing my best :')

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ewingstan · 1 month

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Worm and other media that won't just let you shoot the Joker, part 1:

Worm comments on the structure of stories, especially superhero stories, in some interesting ways. There's a lot of stuff that happen in superhero comics for no real reason than that it needs to happen for the story to be interesting; a huge amount of Worm's worldbuilding is devoted to taking these things and making the fact that they have to happen an explicit in-setting constraint. For instance, superhero stories tend to have more powerful heroes face off against much more powerful villains than their less-powerful allies, to the point where it seems like super-powerful threats are coming to earth every few weeks just because it wouldn't be interesting to read that comic otherwise. It gets weirder when you compare what villains end up visiting the cities of uber-powerful heroes vs the cities of less powerful heroes: Gotham mostly just has to deal with serial killers while Metropolis is a magnet for evil gods. Worm plays with this by having the Endbringers exist only because the big hero needed something to fight in-text: it changes "powerful heroes need powerful villains or else it wouldn't be interesting" from a Doylist justification to a Watsonian one. Then there's the fact that so much of the horrible conflict in Earth Bet is explicitly caused by Gods making sure the powers they grant people lead to increased conflict, the fact that one of the most powerful characters does what she does because the plot path to victory says she needs to, etc.

But the big one is Jack Slash, and how he's only able to get away with his bullshit because he has plot armor as a secondary power. As WB says here, "Jack's a reconstruction of the Joker type character in the sense that you can't have such a character take such a high profile position in the setting, without having there be a cheat." The Joker and similar characters are only able to keep being relevant threats in their stories because the narrative bends to let them win and stops them from being killed. Jack Slash is only able to keep being a relevant threat because his power makes the universe bend to let him win in the same way. Not only does this make for an interesting obstacle (its almost like they're fighting an authorial mandate!), but it skewers the use of similar character's plot armor and how unrealistic and unsatisfying it makes their stories.

But wait, what does it mean for a story to be "unrealistic" in the context of superpowers? Is being unrealistic in those contexts actually a problem? For that matter, what does it mean for a narrative to bend to let someone win? Its not like there's an objective way fighting the Joker would go, which the author is deviating from by letting him survive.

[Stuff under readbelow contains spoilers fo, the movie Funny Games and the book Anybody Home?]

Maybe we could say that if characters like the Joker were real, and put in the situations they are in their stories, they would end up being killed really quickly. But is that a reasonable way to judge stories? A narrative where such a character is killed unceremoniously to satisfy a need for realism isn't any less an expression of the author's deliberate choices than a story where the character keeps showing back up to satisfy a desire for fan-favorite characters. And while Jack Slash's arcs help show why deviating from "realistic consequences" in the service of keeping a character alive can make a story exhausting and screw with an audiences' appreciation of stakes, it doesn't make a strong case against the concept of villains having plot armor in general. A story isn't necessarily worse just for being constructed to keep the villains alive—all stories are constructed, and sometimes being constructed that way makes for the best story.

That becomes more clear when you take the premise of Jack Slash as "killer who wins because the mechanics of the universe says so" and make clear just how much "the mechanics of the universe" really just means "the story". Which is how you get Peter and Paul from Funny Games.

I'd highly recommend watching Funny Games (though for the love of god check content warnings), as well as Patricia Taxxon's review of it that I'm cribbing a lot from here. But to summarize, Funny Games is a movie written and directed by Michael Haneke about a family's lakeside vacation being interrupted by the appearance of two murderous young men, who capture them in their own house and slowly torture and kill them off. At least, that's what it seems to be about initially. It marketed itself as a somewhat standard entry in the genres of torture porn and home invasion thrillers, and played itself straight as one for the majority of its runtime. But then one of the two villains of the pair, "Paul," starts talking to the audience.

It starts small: after crippling the family's father and revealing that he killed their dog, Paul has the wife look for its corpse outside. While giving her hints, he slowly turns back towards the camera and smirks, before turning back. In isolation, maybe it could be interpreted as Paul smirking at Peter, seeming to look out at the audience only because of clumsy blocking. But then it happens again. Paul tells the family, who are completely at their mercy at this point, that they're gonna bet that they'll all be dead within twelve hours. When the family refuses to take the bet, asking how they could hope to win it when he can clearly off them all whenever they wish, Paul turns towards the audience and asks "what do you think? Do you think they stand a chance? Well you're on their side aren't you. Who you betting on, eh?" The audience is being acknowledged; their role as someone invested in the story is being examined by the ones introducing the stakes.

youtube

But the biggest moment comes near the end, when the mother grabs the shotgun she's being threatened with and blasts Peter. Paul startles, grins, and then hurredly grabs a tv remote and presses rewind. The movie itself suddenly rewinds to right before the mother grabs the gun, and plays again with Paul grabbing the shotgun right before the mother reaches for it.

Its a truly incredible moment, in that its the perfect way to forcibly take away the audience's suspension of disbelief. It forces the audience to acknowledge that they're viewing a story, not something happening to a real family. After their moment of catharsis against the villains, Paul makes the confront the fact that the movie will end however the creators want it to, and if they want the villains to win they'll will regardless of how little sense it makes. Fuck you, we can go from being set in the normal world with normal rules to the villains traveling back in time with a tv remote, because a story does whatever its creators want. Haneke just decided to make that obvious in the most jarring way imaginable.

But maybe the best way to illustrate Funny Games effectiveness at this type of artful unveiling is comparing it to its less-effective imitators. I've recently finished Anybody Home?, a recently-published book by Michael J. Seidlinger. It has the conceit of being narrated by an unnamed mass-murderer, guiding a new killer in their first home invasion. I started reading it before I watched Funny Games, and even afterwards took a while to realize the unnamed narrator wasn’t just a pastiche of a Paul-like character but was actually supposed to be read as Paul himself. Seidlinger was having his book be a sort of unofficial sequel to Funny Games, narrated by its star. Once I realized, a lot of the books details suddenly clicked. The big one was the constant references to “the camera" and the idea of murder being a performance for an audience, one that needed to be fresh and original to make “the cults” enjoy it. Take these passages from page 77:

If it happened, it would perturb. It would create suspicion. It wouldn’t end up ruining the performance, and yet, it could have derailed our casing. The camera can have all it wants; either way, it’ll make it look better than it really was. It’ll strip away the cues and other planned orchestrations and it’ll show the action—the actuality of each scene, each suggestion…

This is a spectacle, above all. The craft pertains to keeping and maintaining a captive audience; behind the camera, you’ll never know how it happened—the trickery that made the impossible possible, the insanity so close to home. It is spectacle.

Through online activity, the son made it clear that something is happening at home, yet we cannot be certain if he has noticed the camera.

These all point to the idea that the murders are being viewed by an audience rather than just by intruders, that this is a performance for said audience's benefit more than anything else. But notably, it also reinforces the idea of these characters having an existence outside of the camera: the camera shows the action and "strips away" the cues behind it, the victims have a life outside the camera such that they could plausibly sense that the camera is now here. The victims are sometimes described as playing into their role, but always metaphorically; always as if normal people start acting like characters when put in certain circumstances. Whereas Funny Games posits that characters will behave however the author wants them to, denying the claim that stories are realistic simulations of hypothetical scenarios.

The whole thing is predicated on the idea that there needs to be a guide, that the villain of a home invader movie is really in danger of something going wrong. Paul/The narrator keeps giving directions on what needs to be double checked, what needs to X, and its completely against the spirit of the role Paul served in Funny Games. If something goes wrong for the villain they should just be able to rewind and do it over, because the story was written for them to succeed. Anybody Home? throws out Funny Games theme of the story being on rails, of the winner being whoever the author wants it to be and the events following whatever the author wanted rather than what would "really" happen. It throws out the whole idea that it’s all just a story, by supporting the idea that the characters have lives not captured by the camera—or more relevantly, not captured on-page.

Because Seidlinger using the language of film in a book leads to different things going on with the fourth wall. The way Funny Games and Anybody Home? make the camera explicit are just different, and the former does it much more interestingly than the latter. Seildinger’s characters aren’t looking back at the reader, the fourth wall is never actually breached. Funny Games has Paul look into the camera to address the audience, making clear how it’s a story being set up for the audience's benefit. Anybody Home? invokes the idea of a camera tracking everything home invaders do in general, having it be a third-party force that’s itself an unseen character contained within the story, observing the intruder's crime rather than the reader. Why is it still a camera, if we're in a book rather than a movie? A character in a book talking about a camera watching them does not convey any of the same meaning as a character in a movie suddenly looking into a camera and smirking at the audience!

By the end, you realize that this is caused in part by the book's bizarro take on how horror movies exist in this world. It reveals that in its setting, all horror movies are adaptations of real home invasions, which get recorded by unseen mysterious forces. Killers enter a home and enact violence, are filmed by some supernatural camera, the footage gets leaked to the public, and then the killers sell the rights to the work to studios. The events of SAW really happened, but the movie was just an adaptation. Funny Games really happened, but the Paul in the movies was just an actor playing the Paul narrating this book. The killer's victims eventually realize that they're "victims," but not in the sense that they realize their characters in a story, only in a sense that they realize they got sucked into their world's magical realism bullshit.

Ultimately, while the book does the same trick of being all about how horror stories are “for” us, it gets rid of all the tricks that made it work for Funny Games. It even strips it's in-universe version of what made it special; Funny Games is just another adaptation of a real home invasion. All the meta stuff that makes it interesting in its genre are just gestured at as aesthetics.

So what makes Jack Slash in Worm succeed where the killers in Anybody Home? fail? Both are constructed to be entertaining for a 3rd party who stand-in for but aren't actually the audience; the entities in Worm, the cults in Anybody Home?. But Jack Slash doesn't mix his metaphors. Worm may turn various real-life factors affecting a work into in-story mechanisms of the world in the same way Anybody Home? does. But it doesn't also base itself off a text that takes in-story mechanisms and breaks them to force the audience to see the various real-life factors affecting the work. In effect, WB pulls off a trick Seidlinger tries and fails because WB wasn't taking another metatexual story and stripping it of what made it interesting.

Though that introduces the question: can such meta-moves be mixed? Can you have a text where story conceits become explicit plot mechanics the characters are aware of, while also having characters really look at the camera and tell the audience that its all just a story? Can you actually sell it and make it something interesting?

There is one story that tries this. I don't know if it pulls it off, but it certainly makes a lot of interesting moves that create a fascinating whole. It even comments on the Joker in the same way Worm does, having a character who seemingly cant die because the roll they play in the story is too impor—

Ah fuck.

Continued in part 2.

#wormblr #wildbow #jack slash #parahumans #metafiction #funny games #michael haneke #anybody home?#michael j seidlinger #mals says #mals reads worm #Youtube

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argumentativeaxolotl · 9 months

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Random Human AU Cars headcanons that probably don’t make any sense before I go to bed bc I can.

Lightning McQueen:

- Has accidentally called Doc “dad” before

- Has accidentally called Strip “dad” as well

- Bro can literally not stop moving- like he will not sit still and he tries so hard

- He has the shortest attention span ever if it doesn’t have to do with his friends or racing

- He actually really enjoys American Football and plays a modified version with Mater sometimes

- He was an orphan growing up

- Bro would 100% go apeshit feral if he lost a game of Uno

- Loves carnivals

- Dog person

- Forgets he’s rich sometimes and he can make his own decisions about money

- His love language is hugs and gifts

- He bought the Hot Wheels of his car and continues to buy every variation

Chick Hicks:

- Bit other kids as a child

- Filled water guns with lemonade and shot at people’s eyes

- Daddy issues(actually this is canon isn’t it?)

- Cat person

- Frighteningly good at card games like Casino “house always wins” levels of good. Like bro will somehow know what your cards are without even looking at them

- He put rocks in snowballs

- Alcoholic

- Loves anything horror, gorey, and True Crime

- He’s notoriously bad at getting people gifts, like seriously bro is not allowed to buy anything for anyone for Christmas or their birthdays that’s how bad it is(someone usually gets it for him)

- He probably has a huge gambling problem

- His love language is giving gifts

- He gives gifts as a form of apology because he’s shit at words

- Literally the best mustache in all of cars- like he keeps that thing at top condition 101% of the time

- He never actually finished school because his dad forced him into racing as soon as he could

- Probably had rabies at one point and somehow survived

- If you somehow manage to become a good friend of his, he’ll actually be super chill w/ you

- Rich as FUCK

Strip Weathers:

- Legally adopted Cal after his parents passed away(or sumn idk)

- Has several scars on his arm from the crash during the tie-breaker race

- He, Tex, Lynda, and Cal were practically inseparable after the crash

- He and Tex are literally the bestest of buds like they are homies to the MAX

- He doesn’t hold any ill-will against Chick even if he should and is allowed to

- The “Boy Scout” of racing(think Superman or Captain America)

- He listens to “Old Town Road” by Lil Nas X while working with his horses. Cal cringes every time.

- He never swears unless he’s serious about something or is extremely upset or concerned

- He almost fainted when he met Doc for the first time, almost immediately asking for an autograph

- He has a ranch full of horses and enjoys horse racing as well as car racing

- Received an apology gift of both cologne and a miniature trophy from Chick

- He let Chick sign his cast after the crash

- He’s tried to teach Lightning and Bobby how to ride horses with Cal’s help. It did not go well

- He wanted to be a doctor for a little while before switching career paths

- Racing is literally in his blood(he comes from a very VERY long line of racers)

- Weirdly good at writing. Like for no reason.

- He heavily fanboyed over Doc when he was younger

Doc Hudson:

- He loves Lightning as his son

- He thinks of Sally as a surrogate daughter

- Unironically says “back in my day” whenever he’s telling a story

- He owns a shotgun and it’s hidden away in his house, far away from Lightning(who keeps trying to find it with no luck)

- He knows the most shit out of everyone and all their backstories. Bro hears the gossip and goes “nice”

- He loves watching fruit dissection videos on YouTube for some reason

- Bro is great at knitting. Like seriously. Give him ten seconds and you’ll have a whole ass sweater with a theme and everything

- He is an alcoholic(especially after his crash)

- Never got married or had children… until Lightning and Sally lmaooo

- He nearly started crying tears of joy when Lightning called him dad the first time

- He has several large burns and scars on his legs and lower back from the crash(like shit is really bad dude)

- His favorite movie is the original ghost busters

- He is a cat person

- He is a neat freak at heart yet gave up trying to clean out his garage because of all the bad memories

#cars 2006 #human lightning mcqueen #humanized cars #chick hicks #headcanon #lightning mcqueen headcanon #chick hicks headcanon #humanized chick hicks #doc hudson #strip weathers #humanized strip weathers #humanized doc Hudson #headcanons #humanization #I’m really tired lmao #it’s like 1 am #i’m very tired #lmaooo

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thelastdawn-if · 7 months

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You're an exchange student at Seoul University.

In a world overrun by a mysterious virus that turns people into flesh-eating zombies you're separated from your brother, Elijah, who is stationed in the army. He is one of the first to hear of the outbreak and attempts to warn you, but all communication is cut off before he can provide any details.

You and a group of friends and strangers are left to fend for yourselves in the midst of the chaos. You all quickly realize that they must band together and navigate through the treacherous landscape filled with the undead if you guys are to survive.

1. Elijah (Brother): In the harsh world of the zombie apocalypse, Elijah stands out as a beacon of strength and resilience. As a soldier, his tall and muscular frame reflects his years of military training. Elijah's chiseled jawline is adorned with a prominent scar, earned during his first tour of duty, serving as a constant reminder of the sacrifices made in this unforgiving world. Beneath his rugged exterior, he possesses a deeply compassionate nature and a strong sense of loyalty, especially towards his fellow survivors. Elijah's discipline and duty-driven approach to life are always apparent, but he's a man of few words, preferring to let his actions speak for him. His journey is one of redemption and hope, as he and his group fight to survive while seeking to reunite with you in the chaos of the undead.

2. Han Ji-Hye (Seoul University Student): Han Ji-Hye, a student at Seoul University, epitomizes the essence of a diligent and compassionate scholar. She's a petite and intelligent young woman who's always ready to help and engage with others, despite the intense workload of her studies. With her striking dark hair, expressive eyes, and engaging personality, she quickly becomes an approachable and cherished friend among her peers. Ji-Hye's commitment to her academic pursuits and her love of learning are evident in her remarkable performance in a wide range of subjects, from mathematics to the humanities. Her active engagement in volunteer work and her involvement in student-led social justice initiatives reflect her deep empathy and her resolve to make a difference in the world. Ji-Hye stands as a beacon of hope, resilience, and unwavering kindness, embodying the spirit of a dedicated Seoul University student.

3. Valeria Monila (Seoul University Student with Mixed Heritage): Valeria Monila, hailing from Peru and bearing a mixed heritage of Haitian and Peruvian roots, is a captivating presence at Seoul University. Her unique blend of cultural backgrounds is evident in her striking and diverse appearance. Valeria possesses a warm and outgoing personality, exemplifying a natural charisma that resonates with those around her. She's driven and highly motivated, excelling in her studies while immersing herself in the rich cultural scene of Seoul. Despite the challenges of studying abroad, she remains resilient and compassionate, actively contributing to social justice initiatives both in Seoul and on a global scale. Valeria's vibrant character reflects the beauty of cultural diversity, and her passionate commitment to making the world a better place is an inspiration to those who know her.

4. Micheal Reid (Seoul University Student with Mixed Heritage, Reserved Demeanor): Micheal Reid's mixed heritage of Australian, Japanese, and Costa Rican ancestry has shaped his unique presence at Seoul University. While he appears friendly and outgoing, Micheal's reserved demeanor often keeps others at arm's length. His aloof and introspective nature can make it challenging for people to connect with him on a personal level. Nevertheless, his intelligence and perceptive mind set him apart academically, excelling in his studies and problem-solving. His introspective and self-aware character drives him to constantly seek self-improvement. Micheal's complex and enigmatic personality, combined with his diverse cultural background, makes him a thought-provoking figure in the academic and social circles of Seoul University.

(These are not the only characters)

Inspired by All of Us are Dead and Duty After School

ASK WELCOME

#the last dawn-if #interactive fiction #interactive novel #interactive game #itch.io #zombie #twine wip #twine interactive fiction #twine if #twine game #if wip #if game #if

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littlemonday · 22 days

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The Emperor, The Ending, and that IGN Article

Note: This analysis was originally written and posted on the Larian forums for Baldur's Gate 3. You can find the original forum post here. This analysis includes a number of outside links to other posts I made on the Larian forums as well as the IGN article I'm referencing through out. If you choose to read the original forum post, I have a number of responses through out the thread. You'll recognize which responses are mine because I use the same name on the forums as I do here - LittleMonday.

This analysis first looks at the ending choices in the game, then transitions into a character analysis of The Emperor. Approximately 3,800 words. Lots of spoilers.

Let me first start out by saying that I love this game. It would be entirely unfair to say that this game is anything less than a triumph. The level of skill that goes into a collaborative process such as the making of a video game with a rich story, compelling characters, complex morality, beautiful animation, and an immersive environment is something that should not be hand-waved away. I’ve enjoyed hundreds of hours playing this game. Having said all of that, here’s (yet another) post of “we need to talk about the ending.”

If you’re unfamiliar with the recent-ish IGN interview with game director Swen Vincke and lead writers Adam Smith and Chrystal Ding, you can find it here. I’ll be focusing on their section of the interview concerning The Emperor and the end game choices.

LOTS AND LOTS OF SPOILERS AHEAD.

Let’s talk about the critical decision of siding with Orpheus or The Emperor.

I know a lot of people have pointed out that The Emperor joining the Netherbrain in the end if you side with Orpheus makes no sense, and I think it both does and doesn’t. He has always wanted freedom, and it’s almost certain that the moment he leaves the astral prism without Orpheus’ protection, he’ll be enthralled whether he’s willing or not. The explanation given in the article by Swen and Adam, as well as The Emperor in game, as “survival” feels like a 180 when his ultimate goal has been freedom. Why they chose not to focus on the fact that it’s game over for him as far as his autonomy under this circumstance is puzzling. Which brings me to my next point.

One of my biggest problems with the ending is how contrived the choices are. Along with The Emperor’s 180 mentioned above, Swen and Adam (Chrystal doesn’t say much) seem to have rigidly held on to this plot contrivance of choosing to become a monster, and in doing so, forces a binary ending whether it works within the narrative and gameplay or not.

Swen - “One of the basic questions of the game was whether you would become a monster if it would save the world. So that’s where you get that in that moment. And then the interesting bit was, well, if you’re not going to do it, are you going to ask someone else to do it, or [are] you just going to say, ‘F*ck everybody?’ That’s essentially what that moment was.”

Adam - “There was no way to save the city, save the world without giving up your own identity.”

The thing about a binary choice is that it only works if there truly are no other options available, however, the player has a lot more power and leverage in this situation than the game is willing to let them have. The Emperor wants his freedom and will be enthralled voluntarily or otherwise if he leaves the astral prism and cedes power to Orpheus. It’s also worth mentioning that when you help him defeat the Honour Guard, there’s an option to ask him about assimilating Orpheus, to which he answers that it may not work. So, assimilating is a big risk, and should it fail, he’s back to being a thrall.

Then there’s Orpheus. He cannot leave the astral prism without the players freeing him with the Orphic Hammer and cannot take on the Netherbrain unless he or someone else turns into an illithid. The player has leverage against The Emperor to persuade and/or intimidate him to join with Orpheus, and they also have leverage against Orpheus for the same thing. The whole speech Orpheus gives about how the player should have let his Honour Guard kill them and they would have taken on the Elder Brain before it evolved and became a Netherbrain is either a lie or delusion. You don’t even need to metagame to know this, yet the player has zero dialogue available to call Orpheus on this claim. He and his Honour Guard have been imprisoned in the astral prism for millennia with no means of escape, and no way of impacting the outside world. They weren’t going to stop anything, and yet, through the dialogue choices, the game treats this as though it were a given and that The Emperor held all the cards and kept this from you. He didn’t. He truly is the reason you’re alive to face the Netherbrain. Given the gravity of being on the cusp of The Grand Design, calling Orpheus on the impotence of him and his Honour Guard, and also potentially being under threat of having his brain consumed if he does not cooperate, there is plenty to leverage against Orpheus to get him to at least temporarily ally with the player and The Emperor. If you’ve struck a deal with Voss, you have even more leverage.

Beyond the other options that I believe should be available, I don’t think becoming a monster or “f*ck everybody” comes through in the ending at all. It seems like they expect players to side with Orpheus when there are plenty of role play reasons to side with The Emperor, and then no one has to become a monster, and you still save the city. The Githyanki aren’t even doomed under this ending just like they’re not doomed if Orpheus transforms and dies in the end so he doesn’t live as a mind flayer. If anything, the theme of freedom, autonomy, and alliances, I thought, came through more strongly, both with defeating the Netherbrain and with the companion quests. Under this theme, an option to persuade/intimidate Orpheus and The Emperor to work together actually makes more sense because they have to put aside their hatred for one another to accomplish the same goal of defeating the Netherbrain and obtaining their freedom. The intention seems to have been for the player to make a significant personal sacrifice to save the world, but I just don’t think that it was executed particularly well.

I think this is a good time to say that authorial intent should never be the end of one’s analysis of a text. If an author/director/writer/artist/creator tells you what their intention was, it doesn’t mean the text supports that. We don’t always execute something we create the way we intended to.

And that brings me to the next thing I want to discuss.

Let’s talk about The Emperor as a character.

I want to start out by saying that The Emperor is my favorite character. I enjoy a compelling and nuanced monster that subverts our expectations, and I think The Emperor provides a lot of that while also not living up to his full potential. I’ve already written a post on this forum regarding why I think we need to have a fully fleshed-out romance for The Emperor that you can read here. I’ll be focusing on his writing for this. I wrote at length about what I enjoy about the character in another thread on this forum, that you can find here, but I’ll include a quote:

“What’s unique about The Emperor is how he subverts our expectations. Yes, he’s manipulative, but he never mind controls you. He’s this supposedly asexual creature, yet he’s sexually interested in the player character and is heavily coded as a romantic male lead. He’s also supposed to be this heartless and soulless creature, but expresses care for the player character, and if you romance him, he’s sweet, vulnerable, and sincere. He’s supposed to be part of this hive mind, yet he wants his freedom and actively encourages the player character to form alliances to defeat the Netherbrain. He needs to feed off the brains of others, but avoids the innocent. He may want the player character to change into an illithid, but he leaves that choice entirely to you. He’s alien, yet very human and desires allies and companionship.”

I was under the impression from this interview that Swen largely sees The Emperor as a plot device, while the writers saw him as a character, even if he has a specific purpose in the narrative. There’s even a very awkward part of the interview in which Adam refers to The Emperor as “he,” quickly corrects himself to refer to him as “they,” only for Swen to insist that The Emperor is an “it,” even saying that “we often had this fight” when referring to his pronouns. I personally think that’s a bit revealing, though you may disagree.

For additional context, Swen, Adam, and Chrystal all agree that The Emperor is manipulative and self-serving, but that he never lies to you. Swen will later reiterate this very point when talking about Raphael:

Swen - “Raphael… a lot of what he says you can’t trust, but he is honest. And at one point, if you push him on it, he says, ‘All you are to The Emperor is a pack animal that’s carrying him to where he needs to be.’”

There’s another awkward exchange in which Adam speaks to The Emperor being terrified of going back to the Elder Brain. Swen then remarks:

Swen - “he’s not really terrified he doesn’t have that level of emotion.”

Adam - “Well, yeah, but I think that there’s a level of horror in being… Going back to what he escaped from.”

Now with all of that context laid out, I think his manipulative nature is pretty uncontroversial in the game’s text. He is self-serving - he doesn’t really hide that from you - he speaks in partial truths, and you are a means to an end. At least at first. And, this is where I think he becomes a more complex character whether Swen realizes it or not.

As a side note on how he manipulates the player: there’s this strange bit of dialogue with The Emperor in which you can call him on the fact that he’s hidden information from you throughout your entire alliance, and he responds by acknowledging that, saying that he purposefully lead you to believe that the githyanki Honour Guard were evil beings. I don’t recall this at all. He tells you that they would have killed you because to them you are already illithid, which is all true. It’s a strange bit of dialogue in the end that doesn’t follow what’s been established in the game.

That aside, I’ve heard many people hand-wave away all of his behavior as insincere and solely for the purpose of manipulating the player, however, I think that’s, at best, a shallow reading of the text. He may be manipulating the player character, but that’s hardly the only thing going on, where a character like Raphael is truly only manipulating the player character. In the interview, Swen, Chrystal, and Adam all say that he doesn’t lie, however, I think a more precise way of saying that based on what we see in the game, is that he doesn’t fabricate lies. He doesn’t make up a lie out of whole cloth, but rather omits information that he doesn’t think is relevant, or that doesn’t serve his purpose. Perhaps the most infamous example of this is his relationship with Belynne. As long as you remain on good terms with The Emperor, he frames their relationship as two allies working towards a common goal in The Knights of The Shield. However, if you become hostile, provoke, and dehumanize him, he reveals that Belynne was his unwilling thrall.

I’m hardly the first to point out that this cutscene is a bit suspicious. The timing of such a reveal and The Emperor framing it as “why hide” or “will this make you feel better” is an obvious threat to someone who seems likely to betray you the moment they can. The cutscene also has The Emperor casually revealing his identity to someone other than Belynne, much to this unnamed person’s horror. That is already out of line with how he conducts himself. After her death, we can have this interesting conversation with The Emperor in which he further discusses his relationship with her. With hindsight, it’s obvious that when he says their relationship “was not love” it was “deeper,” and that it was “unique,” he is referring to when she was his thrall. But, he also reveals in some dialogue options that she understood his needs, his desire for freedom, and that she didn’t trust a mind flayer at first, suggesting that she wasn’t initially his thrall. He even describes himself as being “haunted” by memories of her. We don’t know exactly what memories are haunting him, but we do know that the dialogue option with the thrall cutscene, he says to the pc “aren’t you glad I finessed my methods?” Even when he calls you his puppet, at no point in the game will he enthrall you or your party members.

It’s worth mentioning that it is well within DnD lore that mind flayers grow attached to their thralls and mourn their passing, but we later find documents in the game, one from a physician, that when The Emperor came to visit Belynne as her condition progressed, that it eased her “body and mind.” We also find a document suggesting that he was impersonating her through magic as one eye witness account described a floating blue figure, but that it turned out to just be Belynne smiling. I bring all this up because what I believe we’re seeing here is an incomplete portrait of their relationship. I think it suggests that they were once genuine allies before he enthralled her, and that he’s mourning more than just her passing, but also the deterioration of their relationship. I think this also helps to explain why he never enthralls the pc, even if it would mean preventing them from taking some very dangerous paths that jeopardize their mission. The Emperor is an unreliable narrator who speaks in partial truths, so I don’t believe that either version of their relationship you get from him is the whole truth, but is not entirely false either. This game very often takes a more-than-meets-the-eye approach to characters and storylines, so this is well within what we have come to expect from this game. She may have been a means to an end on some level, but she was hardly only a means to an end.

As far as that strange comment from Swen that The Emperor “does not have that level of emotion,” we actually feel his fear regarding the Elder Brain as it’s breaking free from the crown’s control. If the pc romances him, we literally feel that he cares for the pc, and in some interactions of this scene he’ll tell the pc that he enjoys their mind, and refers to their relationship as a bond of love. Before the final battle, one of the NPCs invokes Balduran’s name right before battle, and if you’ve allied with The Emperor, you feel his amusement that they have no idea who he once was. There’s even that scene with the Guardian at the beginning of Act 2 in which a successful insight check reveals that he is hiding the depth of his pain. I know there’s that note that The Emperor left for Ansur about no longer feeling his feelings, but he clearly does feel. He even describes the grief he feels over Belynne as “not entirely unwelcome.” The Emperor is an arrogant and prideful character, and he doesn’t seem to be entirely self aware as to his own humanity because he sees himself, as a mind flayer, to be superior.

For most endings, The Emperor will just depart after defeating the Netherbrain, much like the other companions who also go their separate ways. So, I don’t think this is necessarily an indication that the pc was merely a means to an end. However, (big spoilers here) there are two endings in which he does reveal his feelings for the pc. In a solo ending in which the pc doesn’t transform, he’ll tell them “you have become… important to me. And should our paths cross again, I will be glad to see you.” There’s also an ending where, if the pc transforms into an illithid, he will ask to stay together to rebuild the Knights of the Shield. There’s an option to tell him to think bigger, at which point he’ll say to them “Have I ever told you how much I enjoy you? Lead the way…”

I also want to note that right before the above mentioned exchange with The Emperor, the Narrator has a line that in being a mind flayer, all your companions become tools or food, but then contrasts that with:

“Perhaps you are unique among illithid-kind. Perhaps you will retain enough of who you are to resist your nature. A rogue mind flayer. Like The Emperor.”

This is a pretty straightforward acknowledgement that The Emperor does have the capacity for relationships beyond mere tools for his use.

All this is to say that there seems to be some genuine relationship building with The Emperor, which makes it, in some ways, more strange that he’s so quick to abandon the player and join the Netherbrain should you choose to free Orpheus. Many players have noted that trust is one way with The Emperor, and if that’s the angle Swen and the writers were going with him, then why have The Emperor demonstrate trust in the pc’s leadership? Yes, there are moments in the game in which he admonishes the pc, disagrees with them, attempts to persuade them away from a decision, hell even probes their mind if they lie to him about the meeting with Raphael, but he’s actually very reasonable when it comes to the pc’s autonomy and decision making. If you save the Grove, he’ll even compliment you on your leadership. He’s so hands off in so many ways, but when he does interject about certain quests like the Crèche, Ansur, or The House of Hope, those are extraordinarily dangerous quests that risk everything. They risk you, him, and anyone left behind to be subjected to the Grand Design, but he never stops you. He actually does demonstrate a lot of trust in the pc even if they’re not the most reliable at times.

I said earlier that I think the intended ending was to have the player join with Orpheus, then the pc, or one of the companions turns into an illithid. This requires a sacrifice and sets up this dramatic encounter with The Emperor in which he rides in on a red dragon and summons your dream guardians to fight you. This could have been a powerful moment, however, I think it largely falls flat when you have this forced binary decision with a character, who may be unlikable, but is actually pretty reasonable throughout. If you’ve romanced The Emperor, or are at least on friendly terms, this binary ignores the prior relationship development of the pc being more than a means to an end by not at least allowing for some kind of exchange and option for striking an alliance.

But, let’s just say you have romanced The Emperor, but the twist is that you are merely a means to an end. Well, that’s not clearly laid out either. There’s no moment to confront him, and the only acknowledgment of an intimate relationship comes when he castigates the pc and reminds them that they didn’t “reject” him, but “enjoyed” him. (If anything, that implies you used him). He just leaves and that's that. Along with everything I laid out earlier, it’s not so much a twist, as it’s incomplete writing. This isn’t even the only example of incomplete writing. Remember how your companions were able to witness your night with The Emperor but no one said anything the next morning? The so-called fix was to have The Emperor wipe their memories without any regard for the implications. The pc doesn’t have a dialogue option regarding such an action, and the only vague textual clue that this is something he does is that he may have done some memory manipulation with Belynne’s doctor. However, the doctor can still recall a lot of details of The Emperor’s visits, she just has trouble recalling his appearance. He either doesn’t or can’t completely erase her memory of his visits, even though she finds him suspicious and erasing her memory entirely might be safer for him to do. Other than that, it’s just the one line he speaks that was thrown into the game a couple of patches in. Even then the companions still don’t react to the “enjoyed me” line, or the “fornicated with a mind flayer” line if you side with Orpheus. We love hearing our companions react, so why not have that in there? It would certainly be more entertaining at the very least.

Whether these inconsistencies come down to creative differences between Swen and the two lead writers is speculation. No one was in the writing room with any of them, but this interview was, nonetheless, enlightening in some respects. I do hope that at some point The Emperor can be a fully realized character, and one that’s in line with the depth he is given in the game. And I would hope that would go along with additional ending choices that better reflect the narrative that comes before that crucial decision. A binary choice like the one we currently have doesn’t work for many playthroughs, even if it may work for some. I would like to see that someday reflected in our final choices.

Lastly, while I’ve laid out a fair amount of criticism in this post, my intention was not to cynically nitpick every inconsistency. I even deleted some things I originally planned on including here, because I realized that not all plot contrivances actually weaken the story. I want to repeat that I still love this game, and when I say it’s a triumph, I do sincerely mean that. I know all too often fans may request changes to the game or characters as a sort of wish fulfillment, but those changes would ultimately end up undermining the narrative or themes. I’ve tried my best to avoid that here, and I hope I have.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #the emperor #the emperor bg3 #media criticism #media analysis #spoilers #baldurs gate 3

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