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ooops-i-arted · 2 years

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Rant incoming bc I’m mad about this, again (specific BoBF details under a cut):

I KNEW FILONI WOULD FUCK UP THE JEDI + ATTACHMENTS AGAIN. Filoni needs to be banned from writing Jedi and anything about attachments until he figures out what it actually means for the Jedi. Jedi are allowed to have love and compassion and attachments and connections to their homeworld and families. Jedi just aren’t allowed to let those things rule them, BECAUSE THEY HAVE SUPER POWERFUL MIND POWERS and need to maintain control of them so they don’t hurt people!! Just because Anakin was a selfish twat who committed genocide doesn’t mean other Jedi can’t handle managing their attachments.

LOOK. LOOK AT WHAT GEORGE LUCAS HIMSELF SAID, SINCE FILONI DOESN’T WANT TO:

“If attachment and love were the same thing, then he would be saying, “They should love their enemies, they should love the Sith. But they can’t love.” The way George makes the distinction shows that, no, attachment and love aren’t the same thing at all, attachment is not caring. Further, there’s another instance of him showing there’s an important distinction between relationships and attachment and the association of attachments with possession: "Jedi Knights aren’t celibate - the thing that is forbidden is attachments - and possessive relationships.” –George Lucas, BBC News interview (via this post which is a whole great analysis of the Jedi)

We’ve already seen this in The Mandalorian. Grogu acts out of love for Din multiple times in moments of great danger: the mudhorn, the flametrooper. But he always tries to attack Cara just over an arm wrestling match. That’s why it’s so important for Jedi not to let attachments rule them - they have great power and with it comes great responsibility.

If you don’t agree with my interpretation of how the arm wrestling match went down, then look at Anakin. In AOTC he’s willing to risk losing Dooku (which could’ve stopped the war at that time) just because Padme fell off the ship. Obi-Wan brings him to his senses that time (pointing out that Padme would want him to leave her if she was there, to stop Dooku instead), but in the next movie he's committing genocide to save her (without any consideration for how Padme might feel about this, only considering his own feelings of "I can’t lose her”). Hell, set aside all that and pretend Anakin is supposed to be a normal peacekeeper Jedi for a moment. Do you think for a second he wouldn’t favor Naboo in a diplomatic situation just because he likes Padme? It would interfere with his job as a peacekeeper and diplomat! We follow characters like Anakin and Revan because they make good stories, and part of a good story is conflict (such as these characters conflicting with Jedi ways). But overall the Jedi’s policy of “don’t get dangerously obsessed with people and use your mind powers to fuck up the galaxy as part of that” is there for a good reason and works. It literally just boils down to “control your emotions, don’t let them control you.”

Also, Jedi are allowed connections to their homeworld/home culture. Yarael Poof, Adi Gallia, Shaak Ti, Depa Billaba - all these characters wear items from their home cultures. Barriss Offee and Luminara Unduli have traditional Mirialan tattoos. Hell, Filoni, did you forgot YOUR OWN DAMN OC is wearing an akul-tooth headdress and Togruta sash? (The headdress is also worn by Togruta who had slain an akul themselves, implying Ahsoka went back to Shili to complete a traditional custom from her homeworld.) Hell, Ki-Adi-Mundi has a whole-ass family (in Legends, I think it’s been retconned) because of Cerean population issues, and he was a Council member able to balance his duties to being a Jedi and being a father (and never committed genocide for his family either, Anakin). You can also get married as a Jedi in SWTOR if you play a Jedi Consular and romance Felix Iresso. There’s noise about the Council monitoring what’s going on, but the Consular is a Jedi Council member and can still marry and no one throws a fit about it.

And now to get specific:

IT MAKES NO DAMN SENSE LUKE IS FORCING GROGU TO CHOOSE BETWEEN BEING A JEDI AND DIN AND IT’S DUMB FOR MULTIPLE REASONS

Grogu has been there what, a few months? It’s too soon to make a real choice when he hasn’t truly experienced a Jedi lifestyle.

He is shown to be intelligent and aware of his decisions, but again, he’s still too young to truly be making a permanent choice like this.

“ThE jEdI kIdNaP bAbIeS” shut up they take children from parents who are willing to give them up. This is clearly shown in TCW and was the same in Legends. In The Jedi Apprentice series, Obi-Wan even mentions a memory of his visit to his family and seeing his brother Owen! (Although this was apparently later retconned into being a vision of Owen Lars. It still remains that Obi-Wan didn’t see anything odd about a visit home, implying it wasn’t something that didn’t happen.) In the season 2 finale it was crystal clear Grogu was okay with going, he’s the one who urges Din to open the doors and let Luke in and Luke and Din both value and respect his choice. No one hands Grogu off; he freely walks over to Luke and holds out his arms for him.

Why the fuck are you offering a little kid a lightsaber. And that’s only the most major offense of “things that were developmentally inappropriate.”

See above about multiple Jedi, INCLUDING’S FILONI’S OWN DARLING, wearing items from their home culture. There is absolutely no reason Grogu can’t wear Mandalorian armor while he trains as a Jedi. (Doesn’t he still have the necklace anyway as far as we know?)

Side note but “Are you doing this for Grogu or are you doing this for you?” is a great thing to examine from Din’s side of things. Shame we just got Ahsoka manipulating him since Filoni’s darling is always right and always the center of things when she appears, and no actual reflection on it from Din. (Seriously though, FUCK HER for just having R2 drag Din aside to his own personal hell a glade full of droids instead of allowing Din or Grogu any agency in the situation.)

Another side note, does it occur to anyone it would hurt Grogu MORE to know Din came and CHOSE to not see him?

WHY IS LUKE OF ALL PEOPLE BUYING INTO THIS??? LUKE, WHO KNOWS MORE THAN ANYONE ABOUT LOVING YOUR FATHER. LUKE, WHOSE LOVE FOR HIS SISTER AND HIS FRIENDS IS A KEY COMPONENT OF HIS CHARACTER AND HIS EMOTIONAL STRENGTH??? LUKE, WHO SHOULD TOTALLY EMPATHIZE WITH GROGU IN THIS SITUATION. LUKE, INCREDIBLY KIND LUKE, WHO SHOULD HAVE AT BARE MINIMUM FACED DIN, EXPLAINED THE CONCERNS, AND THEN LET DIN AND GROGU MAKE THEIR OWN CHOICE FREE OF PRESSURE INSTEAD OF THE SMUG ORANGE BITCH TELLING DIN WHAT HE SHOULD DO, JUST LIKE LUKE LET DIN AND GROGU MAKE THEIR OWN CHOICE IN THE SEASON 2 FINALE.

Also this is just stupid from a writing position, Grogu already joined the Jedi as a kid (which we don’t know the full circumstances of) and chose the Jedi again by going with Luke, why are we rehashing this? And if Grogu does go back, then what was even the point of the dramatic separation/season 2 finale?

Yoda’s lightsaber isn’t even the right size for Grogu right now and the chainmail is, how is this even a choice. Luke don’t you want your first student protected anyway?

Jedi have always been able to leave the Order and it’s not a problem. The Jedi Order even had busts of them in the library because they respected and honored their choice!!

It’s just another aspect of Luke trying to directly copy the old Jedi Order, which is incredibly boring when compared to Legends, where Luke made a New Jedi Order with its own strengths and flaws. But because of his own experience, he chose to allow marriage and families and it was a new and interesting take - and it still boiled down to “we have super powers, so use them responsibly and control your emotions, don’t let you emotions control you.”

In conclusion, Filoni, when it comes to the Jedi: just stop.

(Also, again, wasn’t this BOBA FETT’S show?)

#pro jedi #this is a pro jedi blog and always will be #im so mad right now let me rant #tbobf spoilers #bobf spoilers #anti ahsoka #anti ahsoka tano

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phoenixyfriend · 3 years

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A Knight, a Padawan, a Captain... and Boba

Where's my stupid AU where 14yo Ahsoka and 20yo Anakin somehow end up with custody of 11yo Boba because [handwave] reasons?

This can include time-travel to, like, The Bandomeer Incident and just everything being terrible for everyone, and at least one clone (Rex, it's always Rex) that treats Boba like a Weird Baby.

Preferably this would mean that Anakin and Rex, ostensibly adults, are separated from Ahsoka and Boba, which is a problem because all of these people are prone to causing trouble, but Boba is a very angry and violent young child that hates Ahsoka on principle, and she's having a bit of trouble keeping him from, like, blowing up entire buildings.

Boba shouts his head off about Galidraan happening in a few months and Rex and Anakin are like "Huh... preventing that would probably keep Mandalore from becoming as completely unstable as it eventually does... fuck, okay, we'll go keep that from happening; Ahsoka, keep an eye on The Brat."

And she does! Mostly! But they're on Bandomeer, and Xanatos shows up, and then Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon arrive, and she has to just Defend Her Decisions while also keeping Boba from throwing himself at Xanatos for Biting Purposes.

@atagotiak asked:

Does Boba know much about Galidraan? Or how to contact someone about it and how to avoid it? I guess Anakin and Ahsoka can help on the Jedi side of things but if the Mandos are still trigger happy it’s not going to go great either way.

I guess not approaching them in the first place would help… or maybe approaching with less people?

I think Boba only knows that it was a big bad situation that happens this year because Jango always got really maudlin on the anniversary and told stories about his dead friends. A few of the other surviving members (in the Cuy'val Dar I guess?) were maybe the same?

But also like. I feel like just having Rex show up and take his helmet off would cause enough confusion that everyone just kinda Stops.

Anakin wanders into frame the area and makes fifty people float, and goes "Huh, this is cool. Everybody shut up, I'm supposed to be stopping a massacre. Apparently. Rex, we're stopping a massacre, right?" "I've been told it's a massacre, sir." "Right, we're stopping a massacre!"

Galidraan: Two young idiots show up and forcibly induct your army and your enemy's army into their subpar comedy routine. Bandomeer: There is a feral child trying to bite a wannabe Sith while the babysitter he loathes apologizes to said wannabe Sith's estranged father for her charge's behavior. Also tiny Obi-Wan is here.

I don't know much about Bandomeer but I want to say that Baby-Wan is unnerved and overhwelmed by the fact that this random Jedi Padawan he's never met--but SHOULD know of since she's not much older than him--is overjoyed to see him for inexplicable reasons.

There's also going to be a random knight that's going to coo over how adorable he is, but said random knight is currently several systems away trying to keep a massacre from happening and isn't going to show up for A Hot Second.

Xanatos would absolutely go down if he had to face Qui-Gon and Ahsoka at the same time. She's admittedly still very baby, but she also held her own against Grievous at that age, so...

Per Tia:

She could probably beat him. The question is whether she or Qui-Gon would be like, emotionally able to kill him. That being said Ahsoka has decapitated people and Xan is hurting kids so maybe she wouldn’t have a problem.

I really do like the idea that Anakin and Rex, by nature, devolve into what appears to be a completely natural and only semi-competent stand-up routine to everyone who doesn't already know them/their circumstances.

Jango and Dooku's primary point of connection ends up being "oh my god can they please just shut up."

Ahsoka calling up Anakin like "hey,,, a darksider showed up but so did, uh, Master Qui-Gon Jinn and Agri-Corps Member Obi-Wan Kenobi......"

Anakin assures her that everything is fine and he's proud of her and she did a good job and, anyway, put Master Jinn on-- And he hands off the comm to Dooku like Yeah This Is Your Problem Now.

"Okay, Snips, don't freak out, and remember that Tyranus isn't a thing yet and the CIS doesn't exist? Okay? Anyway, give the comm over to Master Jinn so we can get this Xanatos situation handled."

[shoves his comm at Dooku] "Handle your damn kids."

"Your lineage, your problem." "...general, aren't you--" "Shhhh, not yet technically, c'mon Rex, work with me here."

This would somehow go Rexwalker because uhhhhhhhh yeah

#Ahsoka Tano #Boba Fett #Anakin Skywalker #Captain Rex #Rexwalker #Snips and Skyguy #Rex and Ahsoka #star wars #the clone wars #time travel #Bandomeer #Qui Gon Jinn #Obi Wan Kenobi #Jango Fett #Count Dooku #Xanatos du Crion #Phoenix Posts

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obiwanobi · 3 years

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Catch me thinking about sith Anakin who got in a fight w/ Palps (did Palps cross a line? Did Anakin decide he had nothing to lose? Idk), barely managed to win and is now seriously hurting and a little freaked out winding up outside Obi-wan's quarters and Obi-wan doesn't have time to draw his saber let alone figure out how a sith lord managed to get so far into the jedi temple unnoticed and Force is that blood? before Anakin's passing out with only a murmered request for help.

LISTEN you can’t keep sending me perfect prompts, how do you know I can’t resist bloody men on their knees begging for salvation, how do you know me so well??? anyway here’s 2.3k of always-a-sith!Anakin who could have been the new ruler of the empire but said ‘no thanks, this is too much responsibility, I would like to be pampered by my favourite jedi now’ (with a bit of Ahsoka as Obi-Wan’s padawan!)

He didn’t mean to kill him.

Well, not at first.

He didn’t mean to kill Sidious, but pulling his lightsaber from his lifeless corpse only felt like complete satisfaction. A weight on his shoulders he didn't know he carried disappeared, letting him stand up above the body of his master— former master, and gaze upon what was left of him. A shapeless form on the ground. A dark cape around an old man playing at being a god. A begging mess of futile promises when he realised it was the end for him.

As mindless fury leaves him, his ragged breathing slows down and his fist unclenches around his saber. Sidious is dead. Now that the adrenaline rush is gone, his knees start shaking. His Master is dead. His face is wet with sweat and blood and tears. Dead and now Anakin has no one.

And then... And then fear.

"You know," Ahsoka groans as the water starts boiling, "I don't understand how you got your reputation of Cool Jedi Master. Other padawans think I'm lying when I tell them you wear the ugliest slippers at home and gets excited by new tisanes."

"You gifted me those slippers."

"As a joke. And you still wear them."

"I'm not going to throw away perfectly good slippers." Obi-Wan wiggles his toes under the red and yellow fuzzy monstrosities, just to see his padawan rolls her eyes. "And they're really comfortable."

"So you're just going to stay there, then? Your whole battalion is out celebrating our first day of leave since forever, but you prefer to drink your tea alone and go to bed at 22:00?"

"No one wants an authority figure around when they're letting loose and celebrating, Ahsoka," Obi-Wan says, pouring hot water in his cup. He raises the kettle towards his padawan as a question, to which she shakes her head. "I thought you would be happy to see me putting sleep before work for once."

"I am, Master, but I thought it could be..." She trails off, fidgeting with the hilt of her sabers. For once, she looks like a typical padawan, just like he was at her age, dying to enjoy one night away from the temple and any kind of responsibilities.

"It's alright my dear," he sighs, "you can join them if you want."

Ahsoka suddenly perks up. "I can?"

"If you're old enough to be sent to the front, I think you can handle yourself for one night on Coruscant."

"Thank you Master! I promise I'll be careful and not come back too late!"

"You do that, and-- wait, Ahsoka," he adds as she's already halfway through the door, "make sure to stay around Cody! And no alcohol of any kind! And don't lose your lightsaber at sabacc again!"

"That was you!" she yells from the end of the corridor, "don't worry, I'll be fine! Don't wait for me to go to bed! Goodnight Master!"

Obi-Wan smiles, blowing on his cup. He already sent a message to Cody earlier to keep an eye on her, so he knows she's in good hands.

He has his herbal tea, his ugly slippers, no reports to read or write, and no immediate Separatist menace to plan for. For once, a perfectly good night to catch up on sleep and meditation.

So, of course, something has to be wrong.

The Force is bright. The Force is lighter than it has ever been for the past few years.

And Obi-Wan can't understand why.

It's not just him that can feel it: Ahsoka has acted chipper since, more like the teenager she is, laughing with the clones and playfully teasing him the whole fly back to Coruscant. The temple has felt livelier than ever when they arrived, Jedi from all ages going about their day with a new spring in their step, greeting each other warmly in the corridors. Even Master Yoda has taken a few minutes during their Council meeting to note the shift in the Force. No Master could pinpoint the origin of this change, but all agreed that something good happened somewhere in the galaxy, and they were just feeling ripples of the effect in the Force.

Still now, the whole temple feels a bit more like it used to, before the war, and all Jedi are a bit happier without knowing why.

Only Obi-Wan feels like a noose tightening around him. Whatever it is, it's slowing making its way around his presence in the Force. Focusing on him and him alone. Doesn't matter how much Obi-Wan tries to hide himself, it's getting closer and never slowing down or losing interest.

Needless to say, Obi-Wan has a bad feeling about this.

But after almost three years of war, sullen faces and grim expressions, he doesn't feel like dampening the sudden good mood around the Temple just with a few words. He can probably deal with whatever it is by himself.

His tisane is cold when he finally emerges from his meditation. Nothing is clearer than when he started: the Force is deaf to his questions and inquiries, still light as a breeze. An airy unconcern for his restlessness. And yet, a thick pressure still looms around him, getting heavier each passing second now.

His fingers start pulling on his collar.

The clock on the wall indicates that he lied to Ahsoka when he said he was going to bed at a respectable time today. No diurnal Jedi would still be up right now, but he still considers going out to knock at Mace's door. Narrowed eyes and a very long sigh will be his first answer, but Obi-Wan knows that Mace would never refuse to hear him out. Yes, he finally decides when the pressure seems to creep even closer to him, it's worth waking up Mace.

He opens his door, wondering if he should take his robe with him, and instantly stops walking.

There, in the empty corridor of the Jedi Temple, at his door and on his knees, is a Sith. He knows it's a Sith only because he recognises this specific mass of hair, the large shoulders, the dishevelled dark robe. He knows it's a Sith because he has crossed path with this one enough times on the battlefield to recognise him anywhere. Outside of it a few times too. He isn't sure it's a Sith when the Sith raises his head up, bloody and bruised face torn in an agonizing expression, and his eyes are blue.

"I— I didn't know where to go," Darth Vader says quietly, with the kind of voice expected from a lost child. It gives Obi-Wan a second shock to hear his voice, making his presence suddenly real. "You said... You said if I ever wanted to, if I needed help one day, you would— I could—"

Obi-Wan remembers it. He remembers all the times he offered his help. His pleas for him to stop the violence, the appeals to reason, the multiple suggestions of a gentler path. His hand continuously outreached but never taken. He remembers the burning gold of the Sith's eyes too, and his black cape floating above the dead clones at his feet.

His laughter the first time Obi-Wan brought up the idea of lowering their blades and talking around a cup of tea. His sneer the third time Obi-Wan tried to change his misconceptions about the Jedi Order and play-flirt with him in the same breath. The silence the fifth time Obi-Wan asked him his name, his real name, the one a parent gave him.

The tears the last time he gave it to him.

"And you're always trying to save me," Vader adds more forcefully now, like the words anger him, "you're always here, showing up almost every time I'm sent somewhere with your stupid smile and stupid words, and you're always nice, and... and teasing, and disappointed when I kill someone, like you expect me to be better, and I don't understand you, but..."

Vader raises his hand towards him, and it's only this sudden move that shakes Obi-Wan out of his stupor. Before the Sith can touch his leg, Obi-Wan calls his lightsaber to him, ignites it in one fluid motion, half-expecting Vader to be up and swaying his saber in his face by now. But the Sith is still on his knees, and it's only now that the blue light of his blade is above him that Obi-Wan realises the state he's in. His face isn't the only thing bruised and battered: his dark tunic is stained with blood and ripped in more than one place, one of his arms is bent in an unnatural way, and it looks like a cut above his hairline is still bleeding, making his curls stick to his face in a mess of wet hair and burned skin.

"Vader," Obi-Wan says slowly, when his thoughts finally regain a semblance of coherence. A rapid investigation through the Force assures him that no other enemy is around and the calm and quiet of the night in the Temple isn't a prequel for a storm. "How did you get in here? What are you doing here? How—"

Vader's hand, stuck in the space between them, reaches once again for Obi-Wan. Foolishly, Obi-Wan lets him. His fingers twist themselves in the fabric of his pants.

"He made me killed them all.” Vader wobbles on his knees for a second, the hand on Obi-Wan's leg gripping it tighter. “No platoons, no battle droids. Just me. He sent me to the power station and I cut through them so easily, so quickly, they didn't even fight back, and I didn't think that..." he trails off, panting. "Until.... until I saw the electro-whips."

"Are you talking about Naphtla?" he asks when Vader doesn't seem to be able to continue.

Naphtla. Outer Rim. Barely on the Republic radar until this afternoon, when nearby troops answered a distress signal and found a hidden Separatist power station operated by slaves. A third of them were dead, killed only a few hours before, and the survivors turned to the Republic for immediate support. Slaughtered like animals, the rescue team reported to the Council only a few hours ago, by one single man wielding a red lightsaber. According to witnesses, the darksider cut through the slaves like bantha butter, killing everyone in his path without discrimination, until he stopped for no apparent reason and abruptly left.

"You were the one who killed the people at the station there," Obi-Wan realises out loud, horrified, "the slaves from Zygerria."

Vader snaps his head up and his fingers tighten painfully around Obi-Wan's knee. "I DIDN'T KNOW!"

All Obi-Wan's senses and logical thoughts urge him to back out, put an end to this nonsensical charade, raise his lightsaber between them, get away from the dark, hungry void Vader generates in the Force.

But his eyes are looking up to him. Gripping his gaze with the same intensity as his hand on his leg. Bloodied face and pleading, on his knees. Full of tears.

Obi-Wan doesn't push Vader's hand away.

"I didn't know they were slaves, I didn't!"

"Vader."

"He never said! He sent me without telling him, he knows I don't—" A small noise sounding suspiciously like a sob swallows the rest of his words.

"Vader, who sent—"

"When I came back," he tries again, quieter. Obi-Wan opens his mouth to ask about this he, but Vader's head lolls for a second, too heavy to support, before butting gently against Obi-Wan's leg. Vader makes no effort to move, content to stay there, and after a second, a small, almost timid nuzzle against his thigh sends a series of shivers through Obi-Wan's spine. It shuts him up instantly. "When I came back, he looked at me for so, so long, before saying that he knew, he knew I was going to fail, that I was... just like them after all, and that I could never... And I was so mad, so angry at him, so I... I..."

The last words are muffled by the fabric Vader clings to. Hides into. There's blood on Obi-Wan's pants now.

"What have you done, Vader?" Obi-Wan asks, softer than he intended. "Vader," he asks again when no reply comes, without success. The hand not holding his lightsaber moves, hesitates for a moment, then settles lightly on Vader's hair, mindful not to touch any open wounds. His fingers nudge him to tip his head back, gently, carefully, and settle on his cheek to hold his face up, looking at him. "Anakin." His name, his true name, makes him blink a few times. "Anakin, what have you done?"

"I killed him," he finally admits, barely audible. He looks exhausted, more like a child in need of rest than ever.

"Who did you kill?"

"My master."

"Dooku? You killed Dooku?"

"No," Vader— Anakin frowns, like Obi-Wan should know better. "Sidious."

It's a bit much to process in one day. Another Sith Lord, Vader's master, concealed and kept a secret, now dead, killed by his apprentice —and does that make Vader the ruling Sith Lord now? Do Sith have rulers?— the lightness in the Force the same day, a half-dead Vader begging for help in the middle of the night in the Jedi Temple, and all of that while Obi-Wan is still wearing his ugly slippers.

He's so glad he sent Ahsoka away for the night.

Anakin doesn't let him time to feel the migraine coming.

"I can't do it, I can't be my master, I can't— and Dooku hates me, he will never help me, even if I let him have it all, he will never..." Vader seems to run out of steam, and lets his eyes close as his head falls once again against Obi-Wan's thigh. Closer. "You said you could help me. You said I could come to you at any time. You said you would always be there if I didn't want to... do this, anymore."

"I did," Obi-Wan assures him, his hand lightly petting his hair again.

Anakin lets out a long breath. His fingers tighten on the fabric of Obi-Wan's pants, loosen, and tighten again.

"You're the only one I trust," the Sith quietly tells the Jedi, and it's the saddest thing Obi-Wan has ever heard.

#appleslakesandeuchre #(I changed the end of your prompt a bit I hope it’s fine with you)#asks #obikin #clem's aus #fic i will never write #always a sith anakin au #ahsoka the next morning is HORRIFIED to find a sith on the couch #like 'I knew you had a huge soft spot for him but really master? REALLY?'#obi-wan 'shh don't raise your voice at him'#fic i did write

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clone-bar-79s · 2 years

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Something that has been bugging me more recently has been the Council's decision to make Ahsoka, Anakin's padawan. Yoda intervened to help Anakin become more responsible and simply put, an adult. Now, while the decision may have been good for Anakin, who I believe needed a padawan as chaotic as him, I don't think it was the best decision for Ahsoka.

From the moment Ahsoka arrives, you can see she is a younger version of Anakin, who has been instantly nicknamed 'Snips' by Anakin of all people. Her confidence and open nature is what draws Anakin in and warms him to the concept of having a padawan at all. There is no doubt that Anakin helped her grow as a fighter and was a great Master to her, but there is a lot required of a Jedi Knight. A lot of which Anakin lacked and why he fell to the dark side.

So, we know that the Council has had reservations regarding Anakin and his emotional temperament, and assigning him a hyper-active apprentice made some sense. He would have been forced to calm her down, practice patience, and even learn to apply those principles to himself. It's a sensible way to help another person improve and it was a good effort on the Council's part.

But what about Ahsoka? We see Anakin explain to her in multiple situations why she needs to be calmer. But its never the way Obi Wan or Plo-Koon would have encouraged. After her outburst in the Malevolence arc, Anakin makes a show in front of the Jedi Masters to ask her to hold her tongue, but immediately takes it back when he says she wasn't supposed to have screamed it out the way she did. Instead he supports her outburst and only explains that she should have handled the situation better and that her emotions were valid.

I think if Obi Wan or Plo Koon would have been given the chance, they could have talked things out with her and explained the pitfalls of fear and encouraged her to trust in the Force, after which they would set out on their rescue mission anyways. They wouldn't have dismissed her fears altogether, but its the constant reminder to remain calm and one with the Force that isn't always Anakin's first response.

I particularly think Ahsoka's reaction to being framed for the Temple bombing would have been very different had she practiced being calm and detached. Yes, Ahsoka was only 16, and that's a real dumb age for all human beings, but her actions are completely un-Jedi like. She has been told for the past 16 years to control her emotions, so how could she snap like that? She gave in to her fears and let herself fall victim to Barriss' trap, instead of working things out with the Jedi council. In fact, the moment she sees the keycard outside her cell, she is sure that its Anakin who is helping her breakout. Ahsoka has no reason to suspect that she will not be cleared of all the wrongful charges, but still fears the worst. Because Anakin too would take the wrongful imprisonment personally.

Obi Wan reminds Anakin in one of the unaired episodes that Ahsoka let her emotions get in the way and was abrupt in her decision to leave the Jedi Order. He is right! The Jedis are encouraged not to make easy decisions lightly, let alone something so huge! When Qui-Gon is asked to join the Council, Depa Billaba mentions how it is encouraged for Jedis to meditate on their decision before they accept what seems obvious. Why is Ahsoka not aware of this? Why does Ahsoka not practice even the tiniest bit of patience???

Even when she returns for the Siege of Mandalore, she is so angry and frustrated at Obi Wan for not immediately setting aside everything to help out another entire planet. Yes, the Chancellor was missing and this high priority target had to be rescued, but how could she ignore the Separatist army that Grievous had brought along to Coruscant?!? Her reaction closely mimics Anakin when anyone doesn't see his side. His outburst at Luminara for accepting the Padawan's death. His outburst at Plo-Koon who simply asked him to trust his padawan. HIs outburst at Obi Wan who had been assigned a mission in the Rako Hardeen arc. In each of these situations Anakin doesn't see the other person's side. He may come to terms with it after a while, but initially reacts harshly and abruptly.

Instead of talking things out, he simply gets angry at the people around him and that was the last thing an impressionable, over-active, cocky, teenager needed when she was supposed to be on path to becoming a Jedi of all things.

I think Yoda's involvement in Ahsoka's assignment to Obi Wan screwed things up for Ahsoka. They paid attention to what Anakin needed, and completely ignored if it was the best thing for the 14-year old.

#please dont start screaming over this #its just an opinion #but if you have something to say calmly i am all ears #this is a personal opinion #there is a lot more i can say about this #but at 2 am this is the best and clearest i can manage #ahsoka tano #plo koon #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #star wars #clone wars #the clone wars #tcw #yoda #ahsoka #obi wan #long post

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wxnderlustfandoms · 3 years

Text

overworked [501st x reader]

[not my gifs]

pairing: 501st x jedi!reader (platonic), captain rex x jedi! reader (romantic)

description: After injuring yourself in battle, you’re not allowed to go back on the field until you’re completely better. However, you still have a lot of things that need done around the ship to help the clones out and fulfill your duties. The 501st are concerned that you’re pushing yourself past your limits, especially a certain clone that feels a certain way about you.

word count: 2127

warnings: angst-ish, mention of blood

a/n: I know jedi prolly dont have to do this much work in cannon but they do for the sake of this fic lmfao

also i didnt write anakin and ahsoka out of the universe i just didn’t mention them at all

You felt yourself slowly waking up, but your head was pounding and you didn’t know where you were. The familiar voices of your clone troopers made themselves known to you, and the electronic noises you heard let you know that you were in the medbay. You slowly opened your eyes and turned your head to the right, flinching at the bright lights.

You saw Kix, Rex, and Fives standing in a circle, talking amongst themselves. They were talking quietly, and with the pounding in your head, you couldn’t be bothered to try to focus in and hear what they were saying.

You moved yourself to get up, only to gasp as pain tore through your torso. You moved your hand to where the pain was coming from to try to alleviate it in a way. The gasp made the clones aware of the fact that you were awake and they immediately turned over to you. Kix came over to you to exam you.

“What happened?” You asked, not remembering how you got here.

“You decided to be reckless and take on a whole army of droids by yourself instead of waiting for backup,” Kix scowled, retelling the report Rex had given him when he dropped you off, your torso soaked with blood from the blaster wounds. Your gashed head from fall after you had been stricken down. You breathed out a laugh in response.

“That sounds about right,” you responded, going to stand up after Kix finished looking over you again and changing your bandages.

“It’s not a laughing matter, [Y/n]. You’re being too reckless. One of these times… I might not be able to just patch you up. And I don’t know what I'll do if that ever happens. Please don’t make that happen,” The clone voiced his concerns, hoping that for once they didn’t fall on deaf ears.

You seemed to take his words in seriously. You nodded.

“Fine. I won’t go back on the battlefield until you deem me ready. Okay?” You asked. He seemed to not be convinced but nodded anyway.

You started moving and winced at one of your wounds stinging from the movement.

“Yanno, [Y/n], I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be up and about just yet,” Fives started, moving to help you back to the bunk. You gently motioned his hands away.

“I’ll be fine. Besides, I have some things I need to do,” You respond. They all give you a look. “How am I gonna hurt myself more by filling out paperwork and dealing with reports and complaints?”

They shrugged, not knowing how to tell you to take it easy because they knew you wouldn’t listen. You wobbled your way to your room, trying not to show them that you were actually in a lot of pain.

You had to report to the council about the battle, file a report about your injury, deal with monthly inspections, handle clone complaints, and deal with other paperwork that you’d been pushing off. If you had known becoming a Jedi would be this much behind the desk work, you would’ve never completed your training. Actually, you probably still would’ve, but it did suck.

You sighed as you started to work on the first pile of work you had on your desk. These menial tasks never seemed worth it in the end, but you knew you had a responsibility to the republic. And seeing your men work so hard constantly to fulfill your duty made you feel as though you needed to do more too. If you failed to finish your tasks on time, you had a feeling that the clones would be forced to pick up your slack and the last thing you wanted was to add even more unnecessary duties to their task list. In fact, you wanted to make sure they didn’t have to do anything that wasn’t 100% necessary. It was already enough that they didn’t have a say in fighting in this war, you wanted to make sure that the time they spent off the battlefield was fun, full of laughter, not more work. You already knew that many of the clones felt as though they were worthless and expendable, but you wanted to let them know that they were worth more to you than that.

After making through the stacks of paperwork on your desk, you stood up, groaning at the back pain of being slouched for so many hours. You went to crack your back to relieve the pain, but that only caused pain in your front as you stretched the wounds you had in your torso. You sighed and went to get a light snack before you could move onto your next assignment. Walking through the halls to the mess hall, you smiled and nodded to the troopers that passed by. Some of the newer ones or the ones that you were less familiar with saluted you and called you General. However, the ones you were closer to and had been around longer knew that you preferred being more informal with everyone off the battlefield. They smiled, waved, said hello/good morning. You were shocked when you heard the first ‘good morning’ not realizing it was the morning yet. You must’ve been working on the documents for longer than you thought.

Finally making it into the mess hall, you got a smaller plate of food, not wanting to take much time to eat so you could go back to what you were doing. You noticed Fives waving you down. You moved over to the table he was sitting at with your tray in hand. The table he sat at also included Tup, Hardcase, Hevy, Rex, and Kix. You arrived, smiling at everyone and saying good morning.

“Come eat with us, [Y/n]!” Fives invited. You sighed in disappointment, about to decline.

“If you’re about to say you can’t because you need to get back to work, I will restrain you to this table and personally make sure you eat,” Rex said. Though you knew he was joking, you raised your brows at his statement.

You sighed and moved to sit down next to Rex. He moved over so you could sit with enough room. The boys all cheered at the fact that you were joining them.

“So, [Y/n], did you sleep well?” Kix asked, noting how tired you look. You paused as you were about to take a bite and put it down, laughing awkwardly.

“Yeah, totally, I got like a good few hours,” you lied horribly. They all gave you a look of disapproval.

“We need our general to be at her best, how can that happen if you don’t rest?” Tup asked. They all nodded, agreeing.

“Well technically you don’t need me at my best until I recover so me skipping one night of sleep isn’t going to affect much,” You argued back. They were all about to say something in response when your Admiral interrupted, standing beside your table to inform you that the Jedi council was sending you a transmission. You told the Admiral you’d be right there and shrugged to the guys.

“Sorry, duty calls I guess,” You excused yourself from the meal you hadn’t taken a bite of and walked towards the bridge with the admiral. The boys all sighed.

“She didn’t even get to eat anything,” Hevy pointed out.

“I swear to god, that woman overworks herself,” Kix said in disapproval, crossing his arms. He wasn’t angry at you, he was just worried. They all were. Rex stayed very quiet, trying not to let his emotions get the best of him. If he could, he would drag you out of that stupid, pointless jedi meeting, make you eat something, and see to it that you got enough sleep. But he couldn’t for many reasons. And it made him feel powerless.

After a long, boring meeting with the Jedi counsel, you returned to your duties. This time, you were listening to clone complaints and requests. Whether they were about housing situations, other clones, or anything that was really bothering them. This wasn’t mandatory, in fact it wasn’t even protocol. You had started this for the 501st because you wanted to give them a voice. Every month every clone had the opportunity to talk to you as an equal about anything they needed. Though it hadn’t been intended, sometimes these turned into what seemed like therapy sessions, especially after battles with higher tolls.

You were in between meetings, and you couldn’t help but acknowledge the throbbing pain in your head. You reached over to take a sip from the cup you had on your desk, but realized it was empty. Sighing, you moved to get up and refill it before you had to talk to another clone, but were overwhelmed by a sudden flair of dizziness. Your ears started ringing, and black spots quickly filled your vision until you couldn’t see anything else. Your body met the ground with a loud thud and you blacked out.

You got an overwhelming sense of deja vu, opening your eyes in the med bay, seeing Rex, Kix, and Fives standing in a circle. You tried to let out a laugh, knowing what had happened, but it came out as a groan, your wounds on your stomach hurting a lot more for some reason. They came over to your side in an instant.

“You are so stubborn. You needed to take a break and you didn’t. You needed sleep. Rest. Food. Your body needs these things, [Y/n]!” Kix scolded you.

“I know. I’m sorry,” You looked away from them, ashamed of yourself. You really didn’t want them to worry. You realized that in trying to make less work for them, you caused more damage. You really didn’t mean for the tears to fill your eyes, but they did anyway and you tried to wipe them away before they could see.

“[Y/n]...” Fives said softly. This caused even more tears to fall.

Rex asked for a minute with you alone. Kix and Fives nodded, walking outside.

He helped you sit up and as soon as you were, you recoiled from his touch like it set you on fire.

“Why do you constantly refuse our help? Why are you so afraid of being vulnerable around us?” He asked. Your eyes widened and you looked at him, realizing he knew what you were doing. He knew your biggest insecurity. You couldn’t find the words to respond to him so he continued. “You don’t always have to be so strong.”

“Yes I do!” You quickly responded. “You all are so strong. You clones fight so bravely. You go into battle day in and day out, not knowing if it might be your last. Yes, those are orders, but I’ve seen how brave you all are. I want to be like you, Rex. I wanted to be brave like you. I admire you and I realized that you could never appreciate a coward so I wanted to be brave on and off the battlefield. Even if that meant overworking myself!”

“You mean you were doing this for my approval?” He asked, shocked. You met his eyes, nodding slowly. “Why would my approval mean so much to you? I’m just another clone, Captain or not.”

“You’re not ‘just another clone’. Not to me. I mean, none of you are, but Rex...I…” You struggled to find the words, so you just expressed your feelings in the only way you knew how, by showing him. You brought your lips to meet his, softly. Your hand reached to caress his face. You made the kiss quick and gave him all the chances in the world to back off if he wanted. When you separated, his eyes were still closed and he brought his hand to the back of your head to bring you back in for another kiss. This one was deeper, but still soft. It showed the passion of the feelings both of you had kept hidden in favor of your duties, but it showed the kindness and compassion you both had for each other.

You had no idea what to say when you separated again, so you were both just looking at each other, taking each other in. You softly smiled and gazed into his eyes with love. He smiled too. You quickly parted when you heard the door opening and Fives and Kix came back inside.

“On behalf of the entire 501st. You are to eat a real meal and get the rest your body actually deserves. We will all be checking on you to make sure this happens,” Kix announced. You shook your head, chuckling. You loved these boys.

#star wars x reader #star wars #star wars the clone wars #tcw x reader #captain rex x reader #rex x reader #fives x reader #arc trooper fives #kix #medic kix #the 501st #the 501st x reader #501st battalion

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multi-obsessed-fanfic-writer · 3 years

Text

Calculated Risk (Anakin x Reader)

Author’s Note: Here’s the Anakin fic I said was coming out today! Don’t worry, this one is all fluff after the last angst one I posted haha. I hope you guys enjoy! And as always, my tag list/ask box/requests are always open! Thanks so much!

Requested?: Yes, by @cluelessgurl - “I’d love to see a jedi reader coming to Anakin’s rescue during a battle, even though he felt like he didn’t need it but being grateful anyway, just the reader being badass basically lmao. That doesn’t mean the reader doesn’t get a scolding from Anakin after the mission though with some fluff of course.”

Summary: You swoop into battle to help your crush, Anakin, who has vehemently denied the need for any back-up on his mission.

Calculated Risk

Anakin Skywalker x Reader

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: None, I don’t think!

“Ready to report a status update.” Anakin’s voice crackles to life on a hologram behind you. Out of curiosity, you turn to see Obi-Wan talking to Anakin.

“Yes?” Obi-Wan prompts, raising an eyebrow. You drift over to Obi-Wan’s side, ignoring the glance he gives you as you train your eyes on Anakin. Yes, you have a crush on Anakin. But it’s not like he actually likes you back, so it’s no big deal.

“A small droid army has intercepted us and we are working our way through,” Anakin says, and you hear blaster shots firing all around him.

“Do you need...help?” Obi-Wan asks, hearing a few grunts from clones who are getting shot.

“Oh, no, we’re fine. I’ve got this mission completely under control, don’t even worry about it.” Anakin chuckles, refusing help a little too much. You and Obi-Wan give each other a knowing glance.

“Anakin, we can easily send a squad-”

“Obi-Wan, I assure you, I can handle this myself. Ahsoka’s here, too, and she would say the same thing. Right, Ahsoka?” Anakin calls out.

“Master, we need your help over here! There’s too many of them!” Ahsoka’s voice comes ‘off-screen’ from the hologram.

“See? We’re doing just fine on our own. Gotta go!” Anakin quickly ends the transmission.

Obi-Wan turns to you, clearly still not convinced by Anakin’s antics.

“It’s obvious that he needs a little help, but he refuses to call in more troops. If I send in reinforcements behind his back, he won’t be happy about it.” Obi-Wan grumbles.

“When has Anakin being grumpy ever held you back?” You laugh.

“Well-”

“What if I could offer a compromise?” You interject again, actually happier with your plan than what Obi-Wan wants to do.

“And what do you suggest we do instead?” He lifts an eyebrow at you and folds his arms. You have a habit of getting into trouble just like Anakin, so he probably doesn’t trust your ideas too often.

“Send me.” You grin triumphantly at him.

“Send...you?” He repeats back slowly, turning the idea over in his mind. It’s not a no, so you continue to explain yourself.

“I’m one of the best Jedi Knights, even you can’t deny that. I can be reinforcements. But I’m still not a squad being dispatched to him so he can’t be mad because you didn’t technically ‘send reinforcements.’” You smirk, knowing you’ve outwitted Anakin. Obi-Wan sighs, but you see the small smile he’s trying to hide.

“You have a fair point...and Anakin is always happy to see you, so he won’t be upset that you’ve been sent.” Obi-Wan thinks out loud.

“What?”

“I’m...gonna go now.” You murmur, still not sure if you heard him correctly.

“Okay, stay safe. And...keep Anakin out of trouble, please.” He sighs. You grin wickedly at him.

“You’re telling me that?” You ask.

“That’s true, you egg on his antics... Still, you know the difference between reckless stupidity and calculated risks that need to be taken.” He groans, motioning for you to leave already.

“Sure, Obi-Wan. I’ll see you once I save Anakin and complete the mission!” You laugh, running to the hangar. You climb into your speeder and take off from the cruiser, headed toward Anakin.

~+~

Upon your arrival on the planet, an imperial bomber greets you. You try to maneuver your ship around the blast, but unfortunately, it takes out one of your wings and your speeder starts to go down.

As the ship plummets to the ground, you (as gracefully as possible) flip out of the top of it and land on a nearby rock, not too far from the battle. You watch as your ship makes contact with the ground and blows up. Sigh, you suppose you’ll have to take a ship back with the others.

You slide down the rock you’re currently on and join in the battle, taking down droids as you fight your way to Anakin and his crew.

You spot Anakin fighting near Ahsoka, getting pushed back by the sheer amount of droids trying to overwhelm them. That’s the thing about the empire. They may not have good fighters, but they had a lot of them.

“Anakin!” You call, flinging your lightsaber like a boomerang through the sea of droids. You call it back to your hand with the force and find that you have successfully cleared a path to Anakin. You decide to take your chance while you have it and run to him.

“(Y/n)? What are you doing here?” Anakin grunts, still fighting off droids. You deflect a blaster shot that was aimed at him while he’s preoccupied.

“Helping you, duh.” You make a face, jumping into battle next to him. The two of you work flawlessly together, making quick work of the droids.

“I said I didn’t need reinforcements.” He sighs.

“Oh, don’t worry. I’m not reinforcements. I just came here to see you, of course.” You wink at him, taking down another entire line of droids. Anakin watches in almost-awe as you fight off the droids, much more efficient than the rest of his crew, and maybe even him. He’d never admit that, though.

He watches you do a backflip over a droid, slicing it straight through the middle as you land behind it. This elicits a chuckle from his lips.

“Always one to put on a show, huh?” He smirks, glancing over at you as if he wasn’t just staring.

“Only if I care who’s watching,” You flirt, giving him a quick smile as the two of you fall back into sync.

It’s only a moment later when you speak again.

“Bend down,” You tell him.

“What?”

“Bend down.”

“Why?”

“Just do it!” You groan. Does he always have to question you? You never question his antics.

“Fine!” He crouches down and slashes at the feet of droids for a moment. You grin wickedly and use his back as a stepping stone, propelling yourself forward as you slice straight through a line of at least five droids.

“Gotcha!” You laugh, continuing to have fun despite being in the midst of a battle. Anakin shakes his head at you, but you see the small smile gracing his face.

“Always so dramatic with your fighting,” He tsks.

“Says Anakin Skywalker, the man who always has to have a dramatic entrance.” You tease him. He’s silent for a moment.

“...Touché.”

~+~

Once the battle is over, you look over to Anakin who had made his way across the battlefield while fighting. He’s walking over to you, and he doesn’t look quite happy.

“Before you get mad-” But before you can even finish your sentence, he roughly grabs your wrist and yanks you over to the side of the group that was forming to get ready to leave.

He lets go of you and turns around to look at you, his eyes scanning all over your body. You suddenly feel slightly self-conscious.

“Um...Anakin? Are you checking me out?” You try to tease, but your words seem more shy than bold like you intended.

“Checking you out for injuries, yes.” He huffs, but you see a slight blush rise to his cheeks, making you feel a little bit triumphant for at least a small victory.

“We have a medic for that.” You muse, growing bolder now that you know you’re not the only one slightly flustered.

“I know but- you could’ve gotten hurt, (Y/n). Why did you come out here?” He seems slightly distressed even after he concludes that you definitely didn’t get any injuries.

“I came to...help? Didn’t you hear me when I arrived?”

“I didn’t need the help-”

“Anakin I was literally here. I fought the battle, too, and I saw how many enemies there were. You needed the help.”

“I...I didn’t want it to be you, though.”

You’re hurt by his words. Your brows furrow and you start to turn away from him. If he’s going to be like that, then you’ll just leave. You don’t have to put up with this.

“No, wait! Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that…” He grabs your upper arm to stop you. He rubs the back of his neck nervously as you turn to look back at him.

“How did you mean it, then?” You hum skeptically.

“I...I just worry about you, that’s all. I didn’t want you to get hurt because of me, I wouldn’t be able to take the guilt.” He murmurs, much quieter than he was before. You turn back to face him fully again, stepping just slightly closer to him than you were earlier. His face is downcast to the floor.

“Why?” You ask him, tilting his head up to meet your eye.

“I like you.” He blurts out. This makes your eyes widen in surprise. You didn’t think he’d be so...blunt with it.

But once again, before you can continue he tries to explain himself further.

“I like you, (Y/n), and I don’t want to be the reason you get hurt. I wanted to handle myself so that you...well, you wouldn’t have to come down here and you’d be impressed by me getting it done all by myself.” He explains, almost rambling at this point. You put a finger to his lips, successfully shutting him up.

“Ani, I’m already impressed by you every day. You don’t need to take on an entire droid army to impress me, but I do appreciate the thought.” You giggle, pressing a feather-light kiss to his cheek. You see his face flush again and you smile at the thought of making him feel this way.

You see movement in the background and you look behind Anakin to see some boxes shifting slightly to block the two of you off from the rest of the group.

“What are you doing?” You ask Anakin, knowing that he’s definitely using the force to do that.

“Just moving some boxes in the way of prying eyes so I can do this.” You don’t have time to react before his lips are on yours. You kiss him back eagerly, wrapping your arms around his neck as his arms snake around your waist.

Once the two of you pull apart for air, there’s a goofy grin on both your faces.

“I was wondering when that was going to happen,” You giggle.

“We’ll have to keep this a secret from the Order.” Anakin breathes out, the smile not leaving his face as he takes your features in from up this close.

“I’m willing to take the risk.” You smile at him, kissing him again. He melts into your touch.

“Good, because I am, too.” He kisses you one last time. You finally break away from each other, knowing that staying here too long would cause suspicion.

“See you on the ship, Anakin.” You wink at him and walk toward the boxes, shifting them back with the force as you join the group again.

Anakin trails behind a bit, a dumbstruck look still on his face. You’d tell him to be more subtle, but it’s only Anakin’s squad of clones and you know they wouldn’t say anything. That, and it’s too cute for you to ruin.

Obi-Wan was right about you being the one to take calculated risks that you deemed worth it, and you’ve never been more sure about anything: Anakin is a calculated risk that is more than worth it.

~~~~~

Tags: @spideyboipete @rowley-with-ackerman @official-hitmxn @anakinlove

#anakin x reader #anakin skywalker x reader #x reader #anakin skywalker #anakin #anakin skywalker fanfiction #anakin skywalker fanfic #anakin skywalker fic #anakin fanfiction #anakin fanfic #anakin fic #anakin fluff #anakin x reader fluff #anakin x reader fic

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mominousrex · 3 years

Text

The Jola Moon, Ch. 3 "8-1-0-8" - A Rexsoka Fanfic

Ready for Ch. 3 now? YAY!

@lilrexsoka @wildhoneyprose @rexsoka @12-days-of-rexsoka@harpistindecember @hannah-schooler @icantlivewithoutdreaming

Thank you to @nottonyharrison for doing me the oh-so-rare, very exclusive favor & making a GIF for this one.

Word Count: 6,653 Here you go, enjoy!

8-1-0-8

"There's an access code," Rex was sure he knew the code, but part of him was still apprehensive about entering the lodge. They will be safe here; he knew it. Some instinct in him was cautious, though. Rex had no idea what was making him so nervous. Well, he had some idea but was trying to avoid thinking about what had ever taken place in this lodge. It was none of their business. He kept clocking Ahsoka for her facial expressions to give him some clue as to how to feel right now.

She was lost in the mystery of the lodge. Its simple A-frame structure had grand-sized windows, but the views of what was inside were being carefully guarded by the thickets of the surrounding trees. Ahsoka noticed the peak of a second smaller A-frame to the right. She was trying to gather more information before they entered, but everywhere she looked there were either trees, vines, mist, stone walls, or the larger main roof in the way. Her sense of this place was conflicted, but her montrails were soothed by the sound of the nearby waterfall that Rex mentioned earlier when they left the Tribunal crash site. She couldn’t see it, but she could hear its rushing waters hiss off its cliff as the soft explosions of water completed their one-way journey.

The pair of dark rooftops looked almost like the mountains that surrounded them, but up close, they were clearly imposters whose aim was to house the secret that made them. The larger one did not attempt to hide the black chimney coming out of it. The smaller A-frame rooftop probably bore most of the secrets locked within. Things done in smaller rooms seem to always have the largest impact.

Vines that grew on the covered entryway had crawled into a beautiful lush crown about the doorframe and hid the keypad. Ahsoka found it right away. “Hmmm…just a guess…8-1-0-8?” she asked as she entered Anakin’s code and successfully unlocked the entry door.

"Yup, that's the one. I mean, he could barely remember that code. He couldn't handle having to remember another one." Rex confessed his frustration out loud for the first time ever.

Ahsoka made a dead stop in the doorway and turned to Rex, "Barely? He never remembered his code! It was a four-digit sequence. And only three numbers at that! How could he screw up four digits and be one of the most gifted Jedi generals in the galaxy?"

They both entered the house. Rex followed Ahsoka as they let out exhausted laughs, relieved to share the same sentimental eye-roll over their beloved friend.

Rex then remembered, "Sorry…I brought him up," Rex closed the door behind him as he watched for Ahsoka's response.

"I think…I did it that time. It's okay. This is probably going to happen a lot here. I'll be okay." She gave him a hint of a smile to let him know it hadn't made things any worse.

Rex placed his helmet and DC-17s on the first surface he encountered. It was a glass top end table whose base was a sizable, gnarled piece of dark unfinished driftwood. The end table pleasantly attended a plush, deep crimson lounger. Then he slugged off his backpack on the lounger. He did a second look, reacting to his stuff blighting the beauty of this furniture pairing.

"I can put all that there, right?"

"Don't ask me. You're the one who said we were safe here. Should we be expecting anyone, Rex?"

"No. They haven't been here in months, actually. That...that would be good if the general showed up, though? Maybe...he survived Order 66, right?" Rex seriously miscalculated the attack of these constant thoughts of Skywalker.

"Dammit, sorry. I definitely did it that time."

"It's alright, Rex," Ahsoka felt better assuring him. Rex seemed more sensitive than she remembered. Ahsoka walked over to him and put her hands on his shoulder plates. Staring into his worried eyes, she calmly gave him a direct order, "Let's not go there again. About Anakin and Order66, got it?" At the mention of those two things, she felt her stomach turn sour, and it churned. The back of her throat had an awful taste that she had to swallow to get the following words out to Rex.

She continued, "We can let hope reveal itself, but only when and where we can see it. We are here. We survived. My sense of him… it's…not clear. And I'm…well…not going to try to find him right now. Unfortunately, I've had some practice at this. While I was away from the war. But this is very different. There's too much darkness. And I need some time."

"Understood." He then started fidgeting with his stuff on the lounger to figure out where and how the hell to put it down and not ruin anything. He gave up and decided to keep his hoister belt on but left the DC-17s on the table.

Rex knew she was right, but his own disappointment and confusion about his general gutted him. He was no stranger to loss. He knew how to stay focused on the moment and shove the thoughts away. His last couple of months were filled with them too. Wherever he had put all those thoughts was getting messy and needed to get cleaned up and in order. Her mental defensive strategy was their best option if they—

Oh, shut up, Rex. He was annoying himself with the usual militant, strategic approach in his programmed thought process. He wanted to splash some water on his face, take a piss, and get it together. It was clear Ahsoka needed a moment to herself. They both did.

"I need to use the refresher if I can remember where it is." He started to walk towards the hallway, then turned back, "You need anything?"

"Not as bad as you do," she smiled with that snippy quirk in her eyes. He smiled back. There she is. Rex stood there happily dumb for a second.

Ahsoka was standing at the open threshold of the receiving room's large sitting area. This view. It was breathtaking. They both were thinking the same thing, and any breathing being would feel the same. "That is a gorgeous waterfall," Ahsoka declared. She was half talking to Rex, who was standing a steady distance behind her, also looking out the windowed walls, but mostly to no one at all, "I'm glad they had this."

"Did you know?" He waited for her response. Rex knew he shouldn't have asked. So in not getting one after a moment or two, he moved towards the hallway off to the right. Crap, he can't remember where the bathroom is, was there only the one? Ahsoka could hear his boots stop short and turn back.

"Bedroom?" she guessed. "Right! Got it," He hurriedly turned and shouted back.

Ahsoka wasn't ready to answer his question yet. It would invite a fear and dwelling she didn't have room for in her cluttered mind. She hoped Rex would understand and not ask again. So she thought about Rex. It's not terrible that he asked. He's the one who's been alone this whole time with this secret. By going along with this, Rex had all the risk and no reward. That seemed very outside of who she thought Rex was when it came to protocols and duty. Ahsoka had a random, amusing thought that was ridiculous and made her smile. What if Rex wasn't just a dutiful soldier obeying his general's orders but instead a big romantic? It made her laugh a little inside at how unfathomable a romantic side to Rex would be. If she had to look at him now, she'd start laughing, which would be terribly inappropriate. Good grief, she was tired.

She was now just exploring the haunting beauty of Anakin and Padme's secret second home. She was hoping to give each object its reverence without ultimately plunging her mind too far into sorrow. She inhaled a sense of wonder, which exhaled out the fear.

She looked around. This lodge was incredible. The walls of glass were framed in black steel. They didn't need to hide here. Accents of wooden rafters that buttressed the ceiling gave the receiving room a sweet natural aroma. She enjoyed the toasted scent. She noticed the fire pits both inside and out and realized it would get much colder at night. She needed to meet the soil of this strange place with her Togruta feet. It would tell her more than her other senses could learn.

The decor at first glance was muted and simple, but upon closer inspection, luxury was everywhere in the details. The choice to keep things modest meant they were not here to impress anyone except themselves. Little hints reminded Ahsoka that Padme was once nobility. It was easy to forget when spending time with her in her senatorial duties and the politics of Coruscant. This place, though. Clearly, Anakin wanted to remind Padme that she was once a queen, and he wanted to be her king consort. And this small lodge would be their hidden, humble palace.

The light fixture hanging over the kitchen island was certainly from artisans on Naboo. Its delicate structural design reminded Ahsoka of one she had seen with Padme once in a market on Coruscant. Padme delighted that day in telling Ahsoka an interesting series of facts about the design that she couldn't remember now. But she remembered the moment fondly. Could this be the same one? She couldn't remember if Padme bought it that day. These thoughts made Ahsoka realize that this meant Padme was okay somewhere…hopefully. She strangely had a Force sense of Padme? Was it Anakin? The darkness was heavy and clouded again. These feelings of the Force were so confusing.

He's alive, I think?. Where are you?

Ahsoka looked to Rex to bring her back to the present moment. When he returned, she was glad to see him and knew he deserved an answer to his question. If only for his sake.

"The answer to your question, Rex…is definitively... I'll never know if I did back then. It doesn't matter. But I absolutely do know now."

"That's a fair answer. Classic cryptic Jedi. Or...well, you certainly sounded like one. I should have thought before asking. I'll work on that."

He was standing in the kitchen looking at what food was there. It was strange to see his battered, battled clone armor in this quaint and still domestic setting. He looked back over at her, "Hope you like Corellian potatoes, yot bean, and ettle nutmeats, 'cause there's plenty of that."

"Well, we're lucky to have anything, I guess."

"There's fizz water, umm…wine? Or just regular water."

"Fizz water," she walked over, and he handed her the glass bottle as he peeked into the cabinets here and there investigating.

With the laziest of hand gestures, she popped off the cap using the Force, as her eyes were looking out at the majestic waterfall and lagoon just beyond the balcony. Rex snorted a laugh at the unnecessary move. "I could have opened that for you," as he grabbed the cap off the island counter and threw it away with a perfect shot to the bin at the far end of the counter. She swung her face reacting to his comment, and was looking straight into his eyes with her own tired eyes as she brought the bottle to her lips and drank the bottle down eagerly. He looked at her like she was crazy. She was. She was crazy thirsty. Wasn't he? Then she took a break to breathe. "Habit, I guess."

The flavor hit her tart and twisted. She looked at the bottle label, "Muja flavored…strange. Oh well." She went back to swigging as her tired feet sort of shuffled her armored boots to the large, but not-so-soft, golden silk sofa in the receiving room. She sat down and felt the firm, formal luxury of the cushions kept her more upright than she wanted to be right now. Placing the bottle on the floor, she began to unbuckle her boots. It felt so freeing to get them off and wiggle her toes. The aching pains in the arches of her feet were stinging now that they were no longer cramped in their confined space.

She watched as Rex looked for something to eat with. He had taken out the jar of ettle nutmeat paste and was trying to find the cutlery. He made two attempts looking in the drawers but eventually opted for using his now- ungloved hand. Rex stuck four fingers in the jar, smiling as he shrugged his shoulders. He devoured the sloppy scoop full of paste. He was heartily licking it off his fingers, oblivious to Ahsoka looking at him like he was crazy. She felt a lazy smile make an appearance on her face. They were a mess right now.

The kitchen was open to the receiving room to also enjoy the breathtaking view of the plunging waterfall veiling the cliff beneath its constant rush into the lagoon below. On the far left side of the house, at the end of the kitchen, the ceiling to floor roof slant hid an expansive glass skylight that was closer to its peak. The receiving room had a centered double glass door that led out to the open balcony that bridged over the lagoon's edge. She then looked back at the kitchen's strange wooden dining table for two. She recognized that wood, somehow.

Ahsoka walked over and traced the wood with her fingertips. This was a new sensation. It was small, lighter, and no match for the darkness that framed her thoughts, but it was something. A spark of who she was once, where she came from, and always will be. It felt warm and calming.

"This is from Shili. That's a Togruta feast table. For…binding ceremonies, I think? The couple sits at this table on a dais. I remember, barely, attending my mother's when she took her next warrior into her…circle."

"Circle? What happened to your father?"

"I assume he was there at the ceremony watching with the other warriors she had bound in partnership. All twelve of my brothers and sisters too."

Rex had no verbal response for this; instead, his jaw hung open, and he had the widest of eyes she had ever seen on his puzzled face.

"I didn't know which one was my father. I may have known him. He may have known me. My mother had eight warriors in her circle by then. It could have been any of those men. Sorry, 'circle' is a weird term, the actual word doesn't translate in Basic. I can't even remember how to say it exactly. Master Plo was kind enough to give me that small amount of information about where I came from, but nothing more. Master Shaak Ti was very guarded about our culture. So I stopped asking. But Master Jocasta let me read some books about Togruta, but most of them were not allowed. She seemed to always have one hidden away in her desk though." She continued to study the craftsmanship with her fingers.

"Wonder why they were forbidden? Togruta aren't dangerous from what I can recall."

Ahsoka had a guess. It was a memory of when Master Jocasta hurriedly closed off entire sections of one book about Kiros, but not just before Ahsoka caught an illustration that has confused her ever since the age of nine.

"Togruta culture is nothing like the Jedi order, Rex. Their only similarity is that they each are…suspicious of the other's beliefs and practices. And then there was me. I was proud to be both. But I could only be one and not the other."

"I don't think we've ever talked about your...family. You know, your life before the Jedi Temple."

Ahsoka looked at him,

"Family. That's not something either of us got to experience, is it? Jedi Togrutas aren't really acceptable on Shili. As for the Jedi, well…."

Rex could see that she was processing a wave of grief, "You alright?" Ahsoka nodded yes, staring at the table. She looked up at the skylight with warm rays beaming through down to the table and then looked at Rex. More honestly, she shook her head to say no. Oh no, Rex thought, she's going to start crying again. This was one of the numbers of reasons he was afraid of them coming here. He shifted focus to reroute the conversation's direction.

"Well, I have a very different memory of that table. I'll keep that one to myself. I had to help get this thing here. And I never want to think about that mission again." Ahsoka chuckled at how animated Rex became. She grabbed her fizz bottle from the floor where she had left it by the gold sofa and her boots, "Oh, Rex, that must have been some mission." She finally finished what was left in the bottle to wet her dry mouth.

"It was! You wouldn't believe what we did to get this thing here. Oh, here. I'll take that over for ya, hand it here." She walked over and gave him her empty bottle, "Thanks."

He waved off her over appreciation as he turned to rinse the bottle and place it on the counter to get rid of or reuse it later.

Oh yes, Rex remembered that damned stupid table. That was a mission he was not trained for on Kamino. He'd put that whole ordeal right behind Umbara. He was sure they would get caught, and he'd get thrown out of the GAR.

Skywalker told Rex he had to find a second crate large enough to hold the table's original cargo crate that it came in. That way, the table's container could be hidden as any other cargo when they loaded it onto Padme's personal shuttle ship with the other furniture and things they wanted in the lodge. The first thing was getting around as to why the 501st was helping with this. Jesse kept asking too many questions, so Rex eventually dismissed him before he screwed up and gave anything away. He opted for some rookies that could easily be convinced to follow orders without question. Still, they never followed them precisely the way Jesse, Kix, and Hardcase would have. What was just as awful was the faking of all the manifests. That is where Rex started to truly grasp the difficulty of what Skywalker was attempting to do by moving this stuff and by trying to hide his marriage.

The timing and trickery had to be perfect or else, which was typical in battle. But this? The general was going to rendezvous with the shuttle. Then he'd transfer the containers so he could hyperspace them onto a republic ship with a freighter. With its tow cables, he could get it here and somehow land everything. And they had to do it all in one trip.

Then, after all that coordinating, he and the general had to get it in the house. Rex told him even before they did that crazy landing, "You're going to need to use the Force for this, General." But Anakin was determined not to use it and that they could get the table through the front door. After their few strained attempts, Rex ended up being right and won their friendly bet. The wager won was that Rex could take the rest of the day off. So Rex got to go for a swim in the waterfall's lagoon while Skywalker dealt with moving the table and all the other furniture.

He enjoyed that part of the day now that he thought about it. He was AWOL that day and didn't have a care in the galaxy swimming in that lagoon watching Skywalker dealing with everything stacked up on the back balcony. There were even some builder droids still working on the roof and outdoor lighting. It wasn't Rex's problem anymore, though. They just needed to be done before the call came in to brief the upcoming mission on Christophsis.

Huh. It never occurred to Rex before. All this getaway lodge business was just before Ahsoka joined the 501st. He now remembered it was Padme who thought it was no coincidence that the "new padawan" and that damn table she bought were Togrutan and convinced him to give her a chance. "The Force was at work, or something," the general had reluctantly declared.

It's a shame. Rex wished he could tell her the story now. He was still in the kitchen; she was over by the doors to the balcony as a drizzle of rain started to come down through the sunshine. He looked out past her at the waterfall. Rex never thought he'd end up here on the run with Ahsoka.

Punctuating the story's end in his mind, Rex looked at her, staring out the window, eyeing the far edges of the lagoon.

"The lagoon out there is pretty great to swim in. You could go tomorrow."

"You don't want to swim? We both should...if it's not raining."

"Yeah. Sounds good," Rex had no idea why he said it like that. If they were here, they might as well spend the downtime together. He missed his brothers. He didn't know how to...relax without being around one or twenty of them. Now he was starting to get a sense of what Ahsoka was feeling. He did think of an immediate issue they needed to address as soon as possible.

"Tonight, you take the bedroom,"

As he said his next sentence, Ahsoka echoed him by responding to his last one.

"I can sleep on the floor."

They both smirked at each other and did it again.

"No, you should take the—"

"No, you should sleep in a bed, Rex."

"Me? Why?" He was flummoxed.

"Have you ever even slept in a real bed that wasn't a barracks or ship bunk?" she correctly pointed out.

"No. But I'm not sleeping in that bed," Rex declared, hoping this would be the end of it. "First reason is the obvious. Which we won't go into. Second, that thing is huge. It's too much. I can't sleep in it…and…you—well, you should sleep in it. That's more appropriate."

Ahsoka was not as exasperated and enjoyed watching Rex struggle with this, "How big is this bed?" Rex started to head down the hallway, and Ahsoka followed. She was trying to study the connecting hallway's design when she arrived at the open door of the bedroom,

"Oh wow. That…is…something." They both stood there staring at it. It was enormous.

"See what I mean. I'm serious. I can sleep on the floor or the couch out there. I've never slept on a gold couch either."

"Rex. It's just a bed." Ahsoka didn't want to tell him how uncomfortable that couch was.

Rex was now insisting and didn't want to have to say what he was thinking, but out it came, "It's not just a bed, but it's…you know…their… it's...their love-making bed. There I said it!" Ahsoka covered her mouth as she burst out laughing at him. She hadn't laughed that hard in days. Maybe weeks.

"Love-making bed?" Ahsoka did a goofy, terrible impression of Rex.

"Alright, you. I'm trying to be respectful. And what was that?! Was that supposed to be me?" They were both laughing now; the fact that they shouldn't be only made them goofier. Rex was trying to stop laughing but couldn't stop thinking of that bizarre way she attempted to imitate him, hunched and dopey looking, trying to look like a man.

"That…that…was a horrible impression of me."

Ahsoka was laughing and could barely catch her breath, "The way you said that…love-making bed!," she did it again, even sillier, "Are you okay, Rex? That seemed like it was really tough to say," she was amused and always put her hand on her hip when she was making fun of him. That habit of hers snapped Rex back to control, and he got it together again.

"Seriously, Don't make fun of me, I'm also having a hard time here. This is… it's weird, okay?" Rex was going to have to take off his ab plate if she did it again. He would lose it. Ahsoka had finally calmed her laughing fit down, thankfully.

"Okay. I do understand. Still, it's only weird if you keep making it weird. It is just a bed. We can both sleep in this bed. There's room for ten people to sleep in this bed. You on that side, me over here. You've certainly slept in more dangerous places, I'm sure. Nothing to be afraid of."

"Afraid?! I'm not afraid."

He was. But he wasn't sure if it was the bed, its previous occupants, or how weird it would be sleeping in the same bed, even this big, as Ahsoka. It most likely was the combination of all three.

"We are just sleeping, which we both terribly need to do."

"I guess so. You're right, but I still feel weird about it."

"Well, that's because you are a good and decent person. But try not to think too much about it, okay? Once you sleep in a real bed, you'll thank me. How about this, I'll flip the mattress, does that help?"

"A little," Rex shrugged his shoulders. He looked at the bed again, "Who needs that many pillows?"

"You can take them off. I think they are mostly for decoration. Who knows? You may enjoy having lots of pillows. Never know until you try it, Rex."

"Bah...whatever" Yup, there she is. Great. He remembered she was usually at her snippiest when she was right.

Ahsoka gave him a pat on the back as she moved to start taking the pillows and sheets off. "We just need rest and we definitely need to get cleaned up. We both stink like that crash and something else that I can't think of."

"The sewers of Mandalore. Yeah, I feel like we're stinking up this whole place."

"I had forgotten about Mandalore..." Ahsoka stood there dumbfounded.

In her hands, she mindlessly held two dark green throw pillows made of thick luxe yarn and woven into large knotted shapes. "That was yesterday? I can't believe that was yesterday." She was staring out at nothing.

"You've been out of the game, huh? You should know better than to think of days and nights when it comes to battles and space travel," he started to unhitch his gauntlets revealing the filthy liner underneath.

"Wha?" she was letting the exhaustion hit her. The fight with Maul, Bo Katan, and The Tribunal escape. Her months away had softened her edges to this life she once knew.

"Here. Ahsoka. I'll help," dismissing his reluctance to have anything to do with that bed. He walked over and grabbed the pillows from her hands. Then he tossed them on the floor, where they unceremoniously landed and rolled to the wall. The pile of bedding and pillows was going to be a small mountain soon. He elbowed gingerly at her good arm to snap out of it. She looked at him and gave a subtle sigh. "Thanks, it will be easier to flip without the sheets and stuff on it."

She moved to start pulling off the covers and sheets as Rex sat looking at her earnest struggle to yank just one corner loose. She looked so tired, and he pitied her quietly. He also thought about the next step, getting all this junk back on the bed. He'd probably help her with that too. He absolutely did not want to, but he did not know how to indulge that kind of selfishness that could walk away and not help her. Once he caught a glimpse of the irritated skin on her arm under the wound's bandages, he went over towards her. He grabbed the layers that were in the stubbornly tucked corner, yanking it in one go. She slumped her shoulders with a mix of defeat and gratitude.

"Ah...before you bleed on the bed's fancy pillows and sheets, I want to clean that wound on your arm again. I'm pretty sure you still have small shards of debris in that cut. Hopefully, they have something here I can use to clean and redress it."

Ahsoka stood up and found her will to carry on again, "You're probably right. Should we do it in the bathroom or the kitchen?"

"Let's see what's in the bathroom here," Rex was moving a little quicker than her and headed in first, "You see this giant bathtub too? Right there next to a giant window?! And it continues under the window to the outside in the...little...what is that called?" In her daze, Ahsoka was struck now with the calming beauty of the bathroom. "A patio. It's beautiful. You can soak outside. Hmmm...the stone wall right out there hides everything, Rex. Besides, no one is here to see anything, I guess," she shrugged her shoulders.

Now she was looking at the simple glass-enclosed shower that was also perfectly designed, but nothing like its neighbor: the sunken garden bath. The bathroom's colors matched the rest of the lodge with black trim, glass, and wooden accents on the shower's floor and sitting bench. But the walls and bathtub introduced a white subtly marbled stone material that made you feel cleaner just by looking at it.

Rex was carefully inspecting the cabinet for some kind of kit or supplies he could work with. The towels in the cabinet were folded; some looked never used. Rex was moving them here and there in the hidden cabinet as he shifted stuff around to look for a kit. "Rex, I assume you've only ever used barrack showers?"

"That's right. Oh, wait in the medical bay, I've done a bacta bath a few times. But that one is more like a tube shape to stand in, not like that thing."

Ahsoka came up behind him and fixed the towels back into their folded stack. Then she decided she needed to get some out for them to use anyway, "Well I think you should take advantage of a bathroom like this while you can."

Half listening to her, "Huh, maybe? I guess I should."

Success! He finally found a decent medical kit in the back of the top shelf. He was beaming a huge smile with his accomplishment as he looked to Ahsoka and then down to her arm to size up what supplies he would need on her arm. He was talking to be polite, but he was more focused on his task at hand, "So...do...you...wanna take a bath?"

Ahsoka was struck dumb for a moment with what Rex just asked her so nonchalantly. "Ummm…I...," she felt her eyes look up and go side to side in thought, perhaps to signal her brain to start working again.

In her frozen moment there, Rex seemed perfectly comfortable as he started laying out his simple tools to fix her up. "You keep going on about taking a bath, I figured…," he shrugged. He was attentively arranging the roll of bandage cloths, med tweezers, bacta solution, and his utility knife, just pulled from his right calf armor. She quirked her head at an angle to respond to him continuing with this suggestion. Her body was fluttering now as she was silently surprised with the possible images of this completely unexpected invitation and did not know what to say.

"Uh, yeah, sure. If you want me to...wait, what are you asking?" Her sense of him was so calm, but for her, her heart started to race, and she felt her cheeks flush.

He repeated his simple question slowly this time. "I asked… if you wanted to take a bath?" Rex looked at her intently to make sure she was okay. What's with her?

Ahsoka, you know how to answer this, "Yes. That's not what I ever expected, but that would be…nice actually."

Rex was laying out the bandages when he realized the tone of the last thing she said, and now he was struck dumb with the images of her bizarre suggestion, "What?!"

"I said 'yes', Rex! What is happening right now?"

Rex was exasperated. How tired was Ahsoka? Is she nuts?! "I was asking if you wanted to take a bath for sure because then I'll take a shower first real quick---"

"Ohhhhh! Oh I... uh...," she was horribly embarrassed now, which might be revealing some disappointment. Oh boy. She knew her face was betraying her because Rex's face was all twisted up in confusion. He continued his explanation, "That way you could take as long as you want in the tub thing... wait! Did you think I was asking you to take a bath with me?!"

Ahsoka knew she was a terrible liar to people she cared about, so this was going to be tough, "I didn't understand, well, I mean you were talking about giving it a try, then you---"

"Ahsoka! I didn't ask that? Wait, did I misspeak? No, I definitely didn't ask that,"

Now Rex felt like he was way too tired. Maybe he was the one who was nuts? Hold on!

"Did...did you say…you would?!" Rex's expression was now a red fury of embarrassment.

She couldn't tell if he was mad or making fun of her, but her sense of him wasn't negative. Oh, he was definitely fearful but not angry. He was looking at her with the wildest look on his clone face. She thought it was going to jump off his head. He'll be fine. She knew they could laugh this off later. Couldn't they? It was just a bizarre misunderstanding from their exhaustion. This conversation needed to end as soon as possible, though.

"Okay, Rex. Clearly, I misunderstood and we'll just leave it at that. You can fix my arm up, and we each will take our own separate time in the bathroom and just—"

"Ahsoka? You said 'YES' twice. No, wait, three times!"

"Well! I mean, I was standing here shocked thinking you just asked me to…you know. And I wasn't thinking…or, I was...and just thought, 'Okay, why not?'"

"Why not?!" He repeated her words back to her. How could she just nonchalantly drop that reasoning into this conversation? "I'll tell you why not…because..." Uh oh, Rex hadn't gotten this far yet in his argument, and now he's silently slammed with images of this completely unexpected, now lost, possible outcome, "…you know…" He was getting the words together but had to stop looking at her. Rex fixed his eyes on the glass shower behind her. Nope, that is making his thoughts even more incoherent. He was back to looking at her wound, the whole reason they came in here. It's Ahsoka, don't be ridiculous or mean. Get it together, soldier. "Because…"

Ahsoka stood there waiting for him to finally deliver his actual follow-up with a look of slight hurt and defeat on her face. Then she whipped out her weapon of choice: perfectly clever snips.

"If you say it's because this is their 'love-making' bathtub…" she imitated him again. He couldn't help it. Rex started cracking up as Ahsoka continued, "...then I'm going to throw you over the balcony and into the lagoon! And you know I can," she barely got the words out as she was now laughing too.

Rex looked like he was about to start crying from laughter and could barely speak.

"I - I told you...to never….do that imitation...of...whew! Hold on. Stop. Give me a second—" don't...do… that again." He wiped his eyes and caught his breath, "Seriously, that's not funny."

He shook his head and started laughing again because it was so funny when she tried to make fun of him. This is terrible. Rex was somehow trying to use the cabinet door to hide his laughter as if that would do anything. Ahsoka was in worse shape sitting on the edge of the sunken tub practically on the floor, hunched over her knees because her sides hurt from laughing so hard.

They were delirious. Thankfully, they knew each other too well. Only a true pair of friends like this can laugh this hard. Especially at a time like this, in a place such as this. Grief is wicked and dark, but the light has strange ways of gaining power over it. And it always does.

They eventually got it together.

"Rex, can we just forget that whole mix-up about the bath just happened?"

"Uh, that's a negative."

"Oh come on!" She threw a towel at him, and it hit his kama, falling to the floor. Rex shot her a screwy look and shook his head.

"Why are you throwing fancy towels at me? Hey, if I ever need a good laugh I'll think of that conversation. I'm sure I'll need it."

"Fine! I regret nothing. Now let's clean up my arm. It actually hurt when I threw the towel at you."

"Okay you, sit over here and let's get this over with. By the way, I know you were joking, but since you mentioned it, don't ever throw me anywhere unless I give the okay. I always hated that."

"Ha, okay," she snickered a little and looked at him, going right back to his small, perfectly arranged attempt at a medical station, "Oh wow. You are serious."

"I am." Rex was finally ready to fix her up. He stood sternly, ready to work, and then decided last minute that he should unhitch his chest, ab, and shoulder pads to take them off. His upper body was just in his blacks. He felt better to get them off.

Rex felt even better that he spoke up. He knew she would keep her word. It was silly and small, but he really hated it when Skywalker would do that without asking. And he remembered Ahsoka had picked up her former Master's habit when she was Commander. So he had to be ready to be flung anywhere at any moment.

"I know you were joking before. But I just like knowing where I'm going to land," he shrugged his shoulders.

"It's a good reason. I'm glad you told me."

Ahsoka held the now-folded towel and looked at him. "I understand. I won't do that without your okay."

She took the pieces of armor from the counter and arranged them in a way that made sense. "Here, I'll take those for you. Where do you want them?"

"On that seat thing there. Thanks. That is a seat right?"

"Yup. Adds some warmth to the bathroom, I guess." Rex shook his head; he didn't get it. The chair was a rust-orange toned leather tall back chair. The grommets and leather looked as battered and worn as Rex's armor. It had a strange dignified look of importance. Maybe once, it sat with many other chairs that looked exactly like it in some grand hall of leadership, but now it was just here, by itself, next to the tub. Never getting sat on, leading nothing, supporting nothing, and nobody sitting in it to watch someone else bathe. Now it was simply being occupied by Captain Rex of the GAR 501st Battalion's shoulder, ab, and chest plates, and Ahsoka's attempt to re-normalize her and Rex's dear friendship with some basic kindness.

She walked over towards the bathroom counter and looked at Rex's reflection in the mirror. He looked up at her reflection in the mirror.

"You ready? This is going to hurt," he warned her.

Ahsoka shrugged her shoulders, "I know. What doesn't these days?"

There they were—reflections of Rex and Ahsoka, standing there with Rex and Ahsoka.

NEXT CHAPTER...

Chapter 4: Free & Clear

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raiseyourcups · 3 years

Text

The battles won but there's still poison in our veins

Pairing: Din Djarin x Reader Warnings: Angst with Hurt/Comfort, not canon-compliant obviously Word count: 1.1k

Summary: The fight against Moff Gideon is over and done with, Grogu is safe and in your arms again. But Din can’t help but still feel on edge, like something is going to jump out and take his family away from him again. You do your best to comfort him.

Note: There will be a second part but it will be a Poe Dameron x Reader (also anyone who figures out where the title lyric is from gets a free fic of their choosing because it means we both watched that trash show)

You were feeding Grogu when you heard a muffled shout come from the cot and you jumped up to your feet in surprise. You looked down at the small alien that you had come to think of as a son and tried to smile at him, let him know everything was okay. He deserved to rest and recover now that the looming threat of Moff Gideon had been taken care of for good. “Grogu, can you stay here and finish eating while I check on your dad?”

He let out a small coo before turning to the bowl in front of him. It wasn’t anything too big and you figured that if he could swallow a frog whole, there wasn’t a lot of food he could potentially choke on. You gave him one more smile before resuming your new goal: Seeing if Din was okay.

You gently knocked on the “door” to the cot, letting out a gasp of surprise when it opened immediately. You and Din almost knocked heads with how quickly he was trying to get out. You scrambled to stop him from falling out of the cot, hands gently pushing back at his armored shoulders. “Hey, hey, hey, slow down.”

“What’s wrong?” His voice sounded panicked like he expected to be attacked at any second. You had only heard him like that once before, right when everything went to shit.

Neither of you had handled losing Grogu very well, his was a mostly silent rage while yours had been a raging storm complete with thunder and lightning. But when there was finally a door between the two of you and your new allies, you both had broken down in each other's arms.

But now the storm had finally passed. Your brow furrowed as you answered, “Nothing. I was coming to check on you.”

“Why?”

“Because I heard you shout...’ You trailed off and tilted your head in confusion. “Din are you okay?”

“Where’s Grogu?

“Eating. Din, are you okay?” You asked again, unsure if he had even heard you the first time you asked. It wasn’t easy trying to figure out what was wrong when you couldn’t see his face, the helmet ever present. But you imagined that if you could see his face that his eyes would be unfocused and confused.

“Am I awake?”

You were taken aback and floundered before you could muster an answer, “Obviously, I’m talking to you, aren’t I?"

“I can’t tell anymore. I feel like I'm losing my mind," he said, cradling his helmet in his hands as if it would help. Sometimes you wished his creed wasn't so strict, had even thought that maybe he would follow the Creed that Bo-Katan said was the true one. But that was for Din to decide and you would support him either way. But that wasn't going to help either of you right now.

With a glance towards Grogu who was still half playing with and half eating his food, you slipped into the cot next to Din despite the lack of space for even one grown person let alone the two of you. “Of course you’re awake, why would you think otherwise?”

“Every time I close my eyes, I see Moff Gideon with Grogu. Those handcuffs were so small and they took too much blood from him.

"I see you, on the ground surrounded by those dark troopers and I can't move. I can't save either of you when he kills you." His voice sounds ragged like he had been crying and screaming for hours. Your heart broke at the thought. That you hadn’t noticed his suffering.

"But that's not what happened. It wasn't just us there and we all helped save our son. Grogu is safe, we're both here, and Moff Gideon is dead." You placed a hand into the space below Din's pauldron and gave his arm a reassuring squeeze.

"But how do we know for sure?" You could feel him start to shake under your hand and your heart squeezed in pain for him.

"Din...you stabbed him with your beskar spear then took the dark saber and-" you couldn't say the next words, the image still burned in your mind. It was the only time you had been scared of, no--scared for Din and it wasn't because of what he did. It was because you were worried about exactly what was happening right now. That he wouldn't be able to compartmentalize this one thing despite being a Mandalorian bounty hunter.

"He's dead. I promise," you finally said and you made sure to speak with such conviction that Din looked up from the floor and into your eyes. Or at least you assumed he was looking you in the eyes.

"He's dead?"

"He is. Saw it with my own eyes."

"How are you okay with...all of this?"

"I'm not. Sometimes I feel like I hit my head and imagined this whole thing, that I'm still on my home planet." You stared at the far wall of the Crest. You knew those words wouldn’t be as comforting as you hoped but you kept talking. "But as much as we've been through, I don't want to wake up if I am asleep."

"Why?"

"Because then I wouldn't be here with you and Grogu. I wouldn't trade that for anything in the universe," you turned to look at him with a smile on your face.

He stared at you for a long time, t-visor not giving away anything he was thinking. A quiet coo brought both of your attention down to the ground. Grogu stood between the two of you, arms up for one of you to pick him up. You let Din have the honors knowing that holding his son would make it feel that much more real.

Din turned to you again, shifting Grogu into a single armed embrace, and brought his now free hand up to cradle the back of your neck. With gentle pressure he brought you closer as he lowered his head to rest his forehead against yours. "I can't lose either of you."

He said it so softly, you almost thought that you had imagined it. But you knew being this vulnerable was still foreign to him so all you could do was reassure him. "You won't lose us. We're all okay and even if we find a jedi to train Grogu, we'll stay together."

You heard his breath hitch, "But Ahsoka said-"

"I don't care what she said, attachments don't make us weak, they make us strong." You refused to believe what Ahsoka had said. You weren't going to allow anyone to break your family apart, never again.

The three of you stayed like that for what felt like hours. As a family. One that wouldn't be separated again, no matter what.

#din djarin x reader #din djarin imagine #din djarin imagines #mandalorian imagine #the mandalorian x reader

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hearts-hunger · 3 years

Text

aay’han mar’eyce (bittersweet discovery): chapter five || din djarin x reader

Read on AO3 || Masterlist

chapter one || chapter two || chapter three || chapter four

Series Summary: In search of the Jedi you’ve been tasked to find, you and Din wrestle with the bittersweet discovery of your little one’s past and destined future. || Part Three of Jate’kara (Lucky Stars)

Chapter Summary: You and Din struggle with your hurt in the wake of his decision.

Pairings: Din Djarin x Wife!Reader

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff | Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: Mentions of canon-typical violence, pregnant reader

A/N: Drumroll please..... it’s the long-awaited angst! Which I have never claimed as my forte, but I think it works for our Struggling™ pair of idiots. They just love each other but they’re so mad at each other, god bless.

You were relieved to see the Crest’s familiar shape emerge through the haze and broken trees. Your feet hurt from walking, your baby was heavy in your arms, and you’d worked yourself into total hopelessness. The sight of your home was welcome and comforting, and you felt yourself breathe easier as you came closer to it.

You lowered the ramp with the remote control on the bracelet Din made you when you first came to live on the Crest, a pretty little thing that he’d modified to control the ship and, later, the baby’s bassinet. You wished you still had that bassinet; it made travelling easier, and there was always a safe place to put Grogu if you and Din had your hands full. You wondered if you’d need two cribs once your new baby came, or if your husband would have already shipped Grogu off by then.

“Not if I have anything to say about it,” you said to yourself, nearly tasting your bitterness. You tucked Grogu into his hammock with intentional gentleness and closed the bunk hatch, wishing you could curl up and sleep too.

You heard the ramp close again over the sound of the refresher tap; the cold water felt good on your skin, and you buried your face in a towel afterwards, hiding from everything for a moment. When you finally looked up, you saw Din in the mirror; you knew him well enough to know he was studying your face in the reflection.

“Cyare,” he said, his tone soft through the modulator.

You whirled around.

“Don’t cyare me, Din,” you snapped. “I’m not in the mood for it.”

You waited for the flare of frustration and annoyance in his body language; when it didn’t come, you felt a little off-kilter.

“I know you’re angry,” he finally said.

Oh, that did it. Maybe he wasn’t frustrated or annoyed with you, but you were livid with him.

“Angry?” you repeated. You marched over to him, an accusing finger pointed at his chest. “Let’s get one thing straight, Din. Angry doesn’t begin to cover how I feel about this. About you.”

“I know,” he said quickly. “And I’m sorry. But I — ”

“I don’t care,” you said, cutting him off, totally unwilling to listen to his explanation. You were finally, properly angry, and he was going to listen.

“I’m not sending our son to train with her or with any other Jedi, alright?” you said. “You can make as many deals as you like and come up with a million macho rescue missions to risk your life on. But he’s my son too, and I’m not letting him go with her.”

You realized you were practically yelling at him; while you weren’t concerned about how it would affect him - Din Djarin was made of sterner stuff, and could handle your temper - you didn’t want to risk waking the baby.

“Come up to the cockpit with me,” you said.

His helm gave a questioning tilt. “Why?”

You started up the ladder. “Because I’m not finished yelling at you.”

He followed you up, giving you as much space as he could in the somewhat cramped cockpit. Despite fully intending to keep up your tirade, he was suddenly big, imposing; for the first time in many, many years, you felt intimidated by all that beskar.

“Din,” you said softly.

He reacted immediately to your change in tone, opening his posture towards you. “What is it?”

You shook your head. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d been this angry with him, and you certainly couldn’t remember the last time you’d been even the tiniest bit scared of him. All of a sudden, you realized you wanted your husband, not the unreadable Mandalorian standing in front of you.

You worried the hem of your shirt. “Can you please take off your helmet?”

“Yes,” he said quickly, moving to comply without hesitation. He removed his helmet and set it on the dashboard; his face was lined with worry and hurt. “Sorry, cyare.”

His expression crinkled in a wince as he remembered you’d asked him not to call you that. “I mean — sorry. Just — sorry.”

You felt your anger lessen by degrees — not enough to let it go, by any means, but enough that you were more willing to listen to him. Really, you wanted to know why he’d made such a decision; you wanted him to explain it to you, to show you that it really was in your son’s best interest, to convince you that your husband wasn’t suddenly a completely different person.

“It’s ok,” you said tiredly. “I’m not — I just don’t want you sweet talking me, ok? You need to talk to me. Really talk to me, right now.”

He nodded. “I am. I will. You have my full attention, and I will hear you out completely.”

You bit the inside of your cheek. “But you’re not going to change your decision.”

His expression was pained. “No, cyare. I won’t. But I think you know that I can’t. We can’t.”

“We?” you repeated. “I didn’t make this decision, Din. You did, by yourself, and you completely ignored me while you did. Since when do you make decisions about our family by yourself?”

“I didn’t want to,” he said, and it frustrated you how sincere it was. “You have to know that. And I apologize for ignoring you — that’s not the way I wanted this to go, believe me.”

He ran a hand over his face, his remorse clear as day in his expression. “I had to. I didn’t know what else to do. She was going to leave, and we were going to lose the only Jedi we’ve managed to find.”

You wanted to say that it would have been a good thing, but despite your intentions of bringing him up here to yell at him, you made yourself hold your tongue.

He looked at you with a surprising gentleness.

“It’s not forever,” he said. “It’s only training. Mandalorian children leave for training, too.”

“He’s not going for Mandalorian training, though,” you said. You understood that he was trying to comfort you, but the length of time Grogu would be gone was only a small concern next to the kinds of people he’d be with.

“Didn’t you hear what she said?” you pressed. “I can’t think of anything more different from the Way than — than thinking loving your family is wrong.”

"She didn't say that," he corrected. "She said attachment makes you vulnerable, which is true."

You tried to reconcile his justification with what you knew him to believe, with what he'd lived out since the day you'd met him.

"Vulnerability isn't bad," you said. "You taught me that. And if our son goes trains with the Jedi, he'll be taught that it is. Doesn't that bother you?"

His expression, always so easily readable, flickered with uncertainty.

“It does bother you,” you said, and with the realization came a surprising wave of relief. To know you were at least agreed on that, even if he wouldn’t admit it, was reassuring to you.

His posture stiffened with agitation, and you knew you’d hit a sore spot. You knew he wanted to pace, but there wasn’t room for it; he drummed his fingers on the top of his helmet instead.

“It doesn’t matter if it bothers me,” he said, sounding as if he was trying to convince himself.

You balked. “How can it not matter, Din? You’re his father. Of course it matters.”

He shook his head. “What matters is that I honor the vow I made to him. That we honor that vow.”

He looked up at you, his expression starting to show the frustration you felt.

“Has that crossed your mind at all?” he asked. “That you made a vow to him? In front of me, in front of the armorer?”

You crossed your arms over your chest. “Of course it has. It’s why I don’t want him to go with Ahsoka.”

“That doesn’t make sense,” he snapped. “Our vow was to return him to the Jedi.”

“Our vow was to be his parents,” you corrected. “And I think that overrides the promise to return him to the Jedi. What kind of parents would we be if we watched him grow up thinking that attachment and love were dangerous?”

“We’re not going to watch him grow up at all,” he shot back, bitterness and anger pouring from his tone. “Don’t you get it? He’s older than both of us. Once we’re gone, he’ll be completely alone.”

He ran a hand through his hair. “The Tribe — it’s completely gone, cyare. If there’s anyone left, they’re scattered. I don’t even know where the armorer is. Grogu needs to be raised in a clan, or raised by his own kind. We were never going to be able to keep him forever.”

You knew what he said was true. His rate of aging wasn’t a problem now, when you and Din were both relatively young, but Grogu would live to be much older than either of you. Din was right. If you were a part of a bigger clan, Grogu could be raised as a Mandalorian — it might take a few generations, but he would never be on his own.

“Let’s find another covert, then,” you said. “Or try to find Paz, or the armorer, or anybody from the Tribe who might have survived.”

Din shook his head. “No. There’s no telling where they are, and the covert on Nevarro is the only one I ever knew of. Besides, we have a Jedi right here he can go with. We’re not going to have this kind of chance again.”

“I don’t want him to go with the Jedi,” you said, for what felt like the millionth time. “Are you even listening to me? I don’t want him trained like that.”

“It’s not our choice how to train him,” he argued. “We didn’t vow to return him to the Jedi unless we didn’t like what they teach, and then, hey, I guess we can just do whatever we feel like doing.”

You frowned. “Don’t make fun of me.”

“I’m not making fun of you,” he said, exasperated. “I’m just trying to make it clear that our opinions on Jedi training have nothing to do with the decision we need to make.”

“The decision you already made, you mean.”

He scowled. “Yes, and it’s a good thing I did, because you would have let her walk away.”

“Yes, I would have,” you shot back. “And I never would have dreamed you’d do anything different.”

“Then you’re not able to look at this objectively,” he snapped, his frustration rolling off him in waves. “Do you think I like the fact that he'll grow up learning the exact opposite of what I was taught? That I like sending him off to the people I grew up knowing only as the enemy? My father would be rolling in his grave if he knew. But I’m doing this because it’s what’s best for our son. I’m doing it because it’s what I vowed to do.”

Something inside you snapped.

“Then you care more about the Way than you do about your son’s well-being.”

Din flushed with anger.

“That’s not fair,” he said. “You knew I was bound to the Way when you met me, and you agreed to live by the Way when you married me. I'm not asking you to do anything you didn't already agree to.”

“I didn’t agree to abandon our son.”

“We’re not abandoning him,” he said, and you could tell he was quickly reaching the end of his patience. “You knew when we adopted him we had to return him to the Jedi. It wasn't like the traditional adoption vow. He's supposed to go back to his people, and we're going to honor that vow.”

“What if I won’t?” you said. Your last attempt, your last recourse. “What will you do then?”

He didn’t say anything for a moment, stunned, and your challenge hung in the air between you. You’d never refused to go with him on something before, and he’d never had to answer such a question.

“Cyare,” he said, quiet and numb. The furious, sparking anger was all but gone, replaced by a stony determination and a bone-deep weariness.

“Djarins honor their vows,” he said finally. “As long as you bear my name, you’ll bear that vow.”

You sucked in a breath. “Din — ”

He closed the space between you, pressing a gentle kiss to your brow. “I have to go.”

“Din,” you said again. You put your hand on his arm and held tightly. “Don’t leave.” Not like this.

He gently pried your hand from him. “We need all the daylight we can get, cyare.” He was still for a moment, then drew your hand up to his mouth and kissed your knuckles.

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” you said, without hesitation. “Please don’t go. It’s not your fight.”

The shadow of a rueful smile crossed his face. “I made a vow to help her. I won’t back out on it.”

He held your hand for a moment longer before he let you go. He took his helmet from the dash and put it back on again, masking himself in that armor that had never felt so distant, so unreachable.

“Din,” you said as he opened the cockpit doors. He turned and tilted his head, and the beskar was familiar to you again, just for a moment.

“Come back to me,” you said.

He nodded once, solemn.

“I’ll always come back to you, cyare. You know that.”

And then he was gone, leaving to risk his life in someone else’s fight, and it took everything in you not to run out and beg him to stay.

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#thoughts on how i handled the angst are always appreciated #i'm always looking for ways to improve!!#i hope y'all like it <3 #din djarin x reader #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian fanfiction #din djarin fanfiction #aay'han mar'eyce #jate'kara series #maddie writes stuff!#usercaty #clan dinui

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gffa · 4 years

Photo

I’M GONNA HAVE TO BREAK THIS UP BECAUSE IT’S KIND OF A LOT. So, @alabasterswriting and I were having a fantastic conversation about Anakin and how much he intellectually-versus-emotionally knows that he can leave the Jedi Order at any time, that he’s not a slave to them and it was already getting really long, so I’m going to put this in a new post because this is going to be even longer, but IT’S A SUBJECT NEAR AND DEAR TO MY HEART BECAUSE I HAVE MANY FEELINGS ABOUT ANAKIN SKYWALKER. For context, there are some other posts that’ll be referenced so this is only, like, the length of two monster posts instead of five. ^_~ - The original ask about whether or not Anakin was a slave to the Jedi, which sets up how the Jedi make it extremely clear that it’s fine to leave - A follow-up ask from alabasterswriting + their very thoughtful, love response, which this post is largely a response to! Now that I’ve gotten some sleep, I think I can be more coherent on why I think there’s a lot of really good stuff to explore with Anakin’s emotional misunderstanding (versus intellectually knowing that he can leave) and why I do think it’s an important element, but not necessarily at the core of why Anakin stayed. Why does Anakin stay as a Jedi? I think the Obi-Wan & Anakin comic covers this really well--he plans to leave, he’s not upset about it, he’s excited and has nothing but respect for the Jedi Order, he even says that he may come back. Anakin knows that he has options, he believes that he’s capable of taking off into the wider galaxy, he acknowledges that part of the reason he may have joined was, despite Qui-Gon’s warnings, all he saw was a magic man and a way out of slavery, what was he going to do, say no? The overarching plot of the comic is: Obi-Wan wants him to be absolutely sure of this, so he asks Anakin for one last mission together, but makes it clear that he’ll accept whatever choice Anakin makes in the end. Obi-Wan’s point is, when they call for reinforcements at the end to deal with Carnelion IV’s civil war, they get those reinforcements, becasue they did this as Jedi. That the Jedi are part of the Republic and thus they have the backing of the Republic. (This is, interestingly enough, also a major theme in Master & Apprentice, that the day is saved precisely because Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon were part of the Republic and had the backing of the Republic.) Anakin realizes that he can accomplish more as a Jedi than he can setting off on his own, so he happily agrees to stay. This fits with how Anakin genuinely seems to like being a Jedi. The problems he expresses with it, is that he wants more than what they can do, he wants to be able to tell people want to do, to make them do the right thing. He expresses this to Padme in Attack of the Clones, he follows it up with that conversation with Tarkin during The Citadel arc, where they both feel the Jedi Code does not allow Jedi to go “far enough” to win the war. Further, he teaches on the beliefs of the Jedi. After the brain invader worms, Anakin teaches Ahsoka about how to balance letting go of their attachments versus caring about other people and wanting to save them, how the two work together. While she’s on Onderon and having confusing feelings for Lux, he teaches her again about how duty must come before her feelings, he seems to agree with this, because he’s not shy about subverting the Jedi teachings when he wants to. And very clearly, he teaches the same things to Rex in the Bad Batch arc:

That’s exactly what the Jedi teach (and is ironic because this is just a few months before Revenge of the Sith and I think it’s actually a really perfect illustration of exactly what was at the heart of Anakin, that he genuinely believes in the Jedi teachings, until they apply to him and his fears eat him up and he makes himself the exception) and Anakin also seems to genuinely believe it. In Revenge of the Sith, Anakin doesn’t express any desire to not be a Jedi until after he’s helped kill Mace and the younglings and then, frankly, he’s repeating Palpatine’s words, not his own, he doesn’t really believe what he’s saying, imo. When he talks to Padme about feeling lost, it isn’t expressed in terms of him feeling trapped, but instead that he feels he isn’t the Jedi he should be, that he wants more. Anakin never seems to feel trapped or obligated--there’s almost nothing in the movies or TV show that actually lean towards the idea that Anakin felt any pressure of being the Chosen One. He doesn’t seem to believe it himself--he tells the Father that it’s a myth. And the other Jedi (aside from Qui-Gon) never talk about it in front of him, it’s almost never even mentioned, I think it comes up all of two or three times in the movies? And each time there are people expressing doubt about it being true and it’s never discussed at Anakin’s face. Even in TCW, aside from the Mortis arc, it never really seems to come up pretty much at all. Does he feel an obligation to Shmi’s memory to stay as a Jedi? Possibly! It would certainly be an easy conclusion to come to! He never expresses it directly anywhere that I can recall, though. At the end of The Wrong Jedi, when Ahsoka says she’s going to leave, he says, “I understand. More than you realize, I understand wanting to walk away from the Order.“ which is the most he ever expresses about actually wanting to leave in any canon that I’ve seen. We’re given no other context for this--is it because he’s angry at the Jedi, is it that he feels they’re not doing enough and he could do more as a free agent, is it that he wants to leave to be with Padme, is it that he doesn’t like being a Jedi, is it that he feels a wanderlust for the stars? We’re given no further context in that scene, so we have to put it together with the other things we have. That Anakin, when he was younger, said he felt a calling to the starts, that in ROTS he wants more, that in the conversations with Padme and Tarkin, he feels the Jedi aren’t going far enough and someone should make people do things. Put together with the end of the Obi-Wan & Anakin comic, where he stays because he feels he can do more with the Jedi than without them, I think that’s at the heart of why Anakin stays. He wants more more more more. This is further evidenced by what George Lucas says about how the dark side works, which is something I think Anakin is clearly sliding into at this point: “What happens when you go to the dark side is it goes out of balance and you get really selfish and you forget about everybody … because when you get selfish you get stuff, or you want stuff, and when you want stuff and you get stuff then you are afraid somebody is going to take it away from you, whether it’s a person or a thing or a particular pleasure or experience.” --George Lucas That’s what I see it as, because the story of Anakin Skywalker is one that is sliding towards the dark side, and Anakin’s problem is that he wants more and more and more. He wants to be a Jedi, he wants to be married to Padme, he wants to be able to murder people to win the war, he wants to be made a Master (despite having just taken a bribe from Palpatine and clearly isn’t ready for it yet in emotional mastery), he wants all these people, things, and experiences. He wants more. The point @alabasterswriting makes here: “To me, (and it’s totally an opinion, and I’m open to disagreement), it’s always seemed like Anakin was on his way to being able to being able to handle himself emotionally before his perceptions of his sense of self were messed with. And I think (as I’m sure many do) a large part of that was Palpatine feeding his ego/preying on his fears and insecurities. Like we see in the bar with Palpatine that he uses a whole bunch of trigger words meant to make Anakin equate the Jedi to his time as a slave.“ is a really good one, because I absolutely agree that Palpatine completely muddied the waters on this, that Anakin was on his way to a much healthier understanding of himself and ability to understand himself, but then Palpatine started dripping poison into his hear and telling Anakin the things he wanted to hear, rather than the truth that he needed to hear. So, eventually, Vader rationalizes what he’s doing by looping back around to what Palpatine told him, which George Lucas makes clear in his directions to Hayden Christensen (that he’s rationalizing and justifying the things he’s doing, that he doesn’t actually believe them, that is), that that’s at the heart of how Anakin handles things. He does feel powerless to help people--despite that he’s not and there are plenty of moments where he knows otherwise, like in the Age of Republic comic, when he helps the people of Kudo out of the sticky situation they’re in, they have a chance to make their own choice about whether they want to join the Separatists or the Republic, Obi-Wan specifically points out that it was him who helped them:

There are actually a ton of instances in The Clone Wars of this as well, like he helps the rebels on Onderon, he helps save Naboo from the Blue Shadow Virus, he helps free the people of Mon Calamari, he helps free the people of Kiros, etc., but it was easier to grab the above cap as an example (even if I do absolutely agree that Anakin Skywalker is a bucket with a whole in the bottom--it doesn’t matter that he helps people almost every day, it’s never enough, he still wants more, he still feels powerless to help as many people as he wants, and he does feel like he’s often taking things apart, rather than fixing things, as he tells Padme in the Malevolence arc) as well as it’s a good segue into his relationship with Obi-Wan in the next part. Ultimately, I think it comes back to the dark side--it lies, it twists things, it tells Anakin that he wants more and more and more, that nothing else around him is ever enough. He’s not helping enough people, he’s not doing enough stuff, he’s not getting enough recognition, he’s not getting enough personal loyalty over loyalty to things that are bigger than him. But he can’t face that truth about himself, that the dark side has twisted him, so instead the dark side must be right, Palpatine must be right. The dark side always wins, Obi-Wan, Vader says in the Star Wars comic, and so everything else must be shuffled around to fit that. Everything else must be rationalized to fit the way he feels, so he leans into whatever justification he can find, despite that he actually really wanted to be a Jedi and believed in their teachings. (Part 2 in a reblog coming soon because I can only do one monster post at a time. ^_~)

#anakin skywalker #jedi order #meta #long post

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ooops-i-arted · 3 years

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I know that considering (TCW-2008) refs/characters in this episode that it won’t be your fav but can you please share your child development thoughts for S02E05 please??

They may have been stuff I wasn’t fond of but there were so many cute Baby & Dad moments to make up for it!!

First of all, the puppeteers deserves ALL THE AWARDS for bringing Baby Yoda to life! Not just making Baby “come alive” in general, but also that sort-of-awkward way children move when they don’t have complete confidence in their limbs yet. The are doing a phenomenal job this season and I hope they are all safe and healthy and have all the chocolate they want. Not only is it fantastic from a special effects perspective, it really highlights how far Baby has come now that he’s not stuck in a pod all day and implies that Din is trying to keep him active and physically healthy, and giving him opportunities to develop his muscles and muscle control. (Just imagine them playing a makeshift game of chase through the Razor Crest!)

I absolutely loved Din saying “Hey, what did I tell you” because I have said those exact words in that exact tone SO MANY TIMES and also his Dad Voice is getting so much better! Baby actually listens to him and understands that Din expects him to listen! Of course he still wants the ball (and apparently takes it enough that Din has been practicing his Dad voice on that too, “What did I say about that” is another phrase I also use at work).

Though there may have been another reason he wants the ball this time - as a comfort item, like a child bringing their favorite stuffie to the first day of school. Baby was there when the Armorer told Din to find Jedi to bring the Baby to. He has been listening a lot when Din talks about finding Jedi to train him and give him to. I think Baby is very, very aware of the fact that the end goal is to leave him with the Jedi and is very afraid of leaving his beloved father. He would’ve had stable caretaker(s) at the Jedi Temple but in the last twenty years who knows what’s happened to him. His subdued, don’t-draw-attention-to-myself behavior in Season 1 definitely makes me think he’s been neglected, bare minimum, and possibly abused. Din not only treats him kindly but actually takes care of his needs, is kind to him, and is the most stable presence in his life. Of course he’d be terrified to leave him!

I think that’s also why he doesn’t play ball with Ahsoka, so to speak. We all know he can lift a mudhorn, a rock is no problem for him. He could do it in a heartbeat. But I think he understood that if he showed off for her, Ahsoka might take him away. So he refused for that, and because it’s very common at that age to refuse to do something to regain control of a situation. (That’s why you get kids enjoying telling you “No!” and the whole terrible twos thing.) If he refuses, he stays in control of what’s happening. But of course Din knows exactly how to tempt him with his favorite ball, and kids do want to please adults they like. Anything to hear that sweet, sweet positive reinforcement. So it wasn’t just the shiny ball that convinced Baby - it was the fact that Din was the one playing with him, and that Din so enthusiastically tells him good job. (And Din is noticeably more into it when using the orb. Maybe he and Baby have played with it before? So it’s more natural to both of them. And he was truly so proud of his boy!! It was adorable.)

It’s the same with hearing his real name, which he presumably hasn’t heard in twenty years. He responds when Ahsoka says it, but when Din says it? He’s instantly turned around, ears perked all the way up in “happy” mode. It’s special when Din says it, because Din is special to him.

Which then ties into the whole attachment thing. Baby is very healthily attached to Din. There’s a reason we stick kids with the same teacher for a year plus at a time, it’s because kids are comfortable with a regular person they can get to know, just like adults are. To Baby, Ahsoka is just some orange stranger and Din is his dad. Of course he is more attached to Din and has fears over losing him, especially if he’s been deprived of that for the last 20-odd years! It’d be different if Din was sticking around to transition Baby somewhere new, or just dropping him off for lessons. But leaving a parent permanently and abruptly after likely previous trauma? That would be horrible for Baby.

And re: The Jedi + attachments Ahsoka (and Filoni) are wrong on that. The Jedi do not forbid attachments, only letting your attachments rule you. Ki-Adi-Mundi is married and so were others, and there are plenty of Padawan-Master relationships to see - for example, Obi-Wan was attached to Qui-Gon and clearly loved him and was devastated by his loss, but it’s only when he conquers his emotions and calms himself is he able to defeat Maul, and afterward is implied/shown to mourn Qui-Gon and handle his grief in a healthy way. Anakin doesn’t fall because he’s attached to his loved ones. He falls because he’s willing to commit murder and genocide over his attachments. So “I can’t teach Grogu because he’s attached to you” is bullshit. “I can’t teach Grogu because he is attached to you and needs to be safely transitioned into Jedi life in an environment that is comfortable and safe for him, with your help as his adoptive father, and I have no way to do that here and/or don’t feel comfortable doing that” is much more accurate. (This is probably what would’ve happened if the Order was still around, anyway, and/or how he was actually taken in - the 3D TCW episode with the Jedi children shows the bounty hunters tricking the parents to kidnap the kids, implying that a real Jedi would work with the family to transition the children in a safe and healthy manner. The Rodian even says the Jedi have already spoken to her iirc.)

Of course even if Grogu is unhealthily attached to Din (which he isn’t, imo, he behaves like a child at a normal level of attachment to a regular caretaker he loves) then ignoring it and not doing anything about it is equally bad.... as we’ve already seen when he got upset with Cara last season. Baby must learn to control his powers so he doesn’t hurt himself or others, especially since he’s so young he doesn’t always have full control over his own emotions. “Big” emotions can be a lot for a kid; a screaming meltdown is bad enough when the kid can’t yeet you with their mind. I’ve been hit, kicked, bitten, scratched, had toys thrown at me, even been hit with heavy wooden blocks. A Grogu out of control with his emotions and using the Force? Terrifying. Yes, his attachment to Din makes him more vulnerable to his fears and anger - we’ve seen him choke Cara and while he only held back the mudhorn, in theory he could’ve done more. But that is just all the more reason to teach him control. Ignore harmful behavior and it will only get worse, and Din isn’t really equipped to help him navigate that since Din doesn’t understand the Force and can’t understand what Grogu says.

(Also lol at “He doesn’t understand” “He does.” You can 100% tell when kids understand you perfectly and are refusing to do it, even when a parent is making excuses for their darling. xD Especially since kids will frequently act/react differently to their parents versus other caretakers.)

“He’s hidden his abilities to survive over the years” I call partial bullshit on that. No, I don’t think Baby has done any long-term planning or had thoughts along the lines of “I’m being hunted and need to protect myself by pretending not to be a Force-user.” But I think he has probably figured out people react a certain way when he does Force things and perhaps decided “I shouldn’t make things float because then people will grab me/I will get taken away/other consequence I don’t like will happen.” That’s more in line with a toddler’s level of thinking/comprehension. And it adds greater weight to him saving Din from the mudhorn - he didn’t know how Din would react to him using the Force, if Din would try and hurt him or lock him in the pod or whatever, but he still wanted to save Din. Overall though I think Baby’s Force-use is in line with a toddler’s thoughts. “I want X to happen, I can make that happen with the Force, so I will make X happen unless I’m more scared of [consequence] happening.”

So overall a pretty revealing episode for Baby/Grogu. (I’m not used to the new name yet tbh.) Although I’m worried about how many times it will take Din hearing it to realize that yes, you are this baby’s father, get that through your beskar-plated skull.

#baby yoda meta #the mandalorian #the mandalorian spoilers #baby yoda #grogu

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phoenixyfriend · 3 years

Text

Anakin and the Jedi Babies: Where There’s a Whill, There’s a Windu

Context: original post, chrono

(Summary of the AU: Disaster lineage got tossed back in time. Anakin stayed 21-ish, but Obi-Wan and Ahsoka got deaged, took new names for time-travel reasons (Ylliben and Sokanth, or Ben and Soka) and have been officially adopted by Anakin.)

----------------------

“You’re attached.”

“You’re just now noticing?”

Master Windu eyes him for a few long moments, and then joins him on the ground. Anakin can’t help but smirk. There’s something gratifying about having respect from the man, in this life.

“The other members of the council are concerned.”

“And you aren’t?”

“I am, but for other reasons,” Windu says.

Anakin doesn’t meet his eyes, doesn’t even respond for a long minute. He just looks out over the Room of a Thousand Fountains, spread out below them like hundreds of jungles pieced together in a jigsaw of flora. It’s been his favorite room in the Temple since he was a child, and it’s always overwhelming.

“Most of them have accepted that you adopted them because of Mandalorian customs, and that you stayed where you were due to the will of the Force,” Windu continues. “But they are… uncomfortable with how blatantly your attachments show.”

“Mandalorians are loud and refuse shame. It rubbed off.”

“You said you would kill for these children.”

“I’m their father. That’s kind of expected.”

Windu’s expression is tired. A little tired of stress, but mostly tired of Anakin’s shit. “You know what I’m trying to get at.”

“Do I?”

“Skywalker.”

“No, I’m serious. I need you to spell this out. I’ve had a million slightly-contradicting lectures on this topic, and I’ve been told pretty clearly that I misinterpreted a solid half of them. If you want a constructive conversation, you can’t be vague. I’m thirty-three years old and a father of two, Master Windu, so yes, I’m attached. What you mean by that word is going to change where this conversation goes.”

It’s gratifying to see the Master actually think it over.

“Ylliben’s tattoos have been causing the most recent stir,” Windu finally says. “They nearly all relate to family, whether new or old, and the symbolism is concerning to those who are already upset about the Mandalorian upbringing. They worry that he’ll remain too tied to people he grew up with, and unable to maintain neutrality in future diplomatic ventures, or at risk of a fall if one of the people he’s seen fit to memorialize is injured or killed. The assume a similar state of mind may be applicable to your daughter and yourself, especially given the off-color jokes about how possessive your children are about each other.”

“They’re worried about emotional immaturity,” Anakin summarizes. He offers a wan, unimpressed grin. “They do realize he’s fourteen, right? Nobody’s emotionally stable at fourteen. The hormones are out of whack.”

“I’m aware,” Windu grinds out. “And I’m aware that your histories, of war and all such things, make your ties much stronger, but you can see why the Council worries, especially those who are wary of the memories your children carry but won’t explain. I’m the only one you’ve told, Skywalker.”

“Plo and Depa know.”

“Plo and Depa aren’t on the council.”

“Yet.”

“Skywalker.”

He relents. “It’s not about Mandalore, Master Windu. It’s about Tatooine.”

Windu lets that sit for a few moments, and then sighs. “I don’t know enough about Tatooine to parse that.”

“Shmi and I are former slaves,” Anakin says, as bluntly as he can. “I was freed at nine, she at eleven, and for all that we are free, we’re not freeborn. We were born slaves, and raised slaves, and we were freed too late to forget that life. The way we think is always going to be affected by the way we grew up. That applies to all sentients, more or less, but it’s… the slave mentality is completely at odds with Jedi teachings, because Jedi teachings can only be taught in a safe environment.”

Windu nods slowly, and says, “That does make sense, but it’s… forgive me, but that’s why we don’t normally take children older than four.”

“From the perspective of teaching cultural values, that makes sense,” Anakin allows. “Teaching a Jedi child that’s cared for with communal resources that they do not need material things to be happy is fine; trying to convince a slave child of the same, someone who grew up being told they do not deserve material things, and that their owner can take anything at any time, including family? I lived that life, trying to adjust to ascetic Jedi values that coincided poorly with slave rules. I know exactly how poorly that transition can go when the person caring for the child doesn’t know how to handle the points of conflict.”

“Do you regret joining the Jedi?” Windu asks.

Anakin shakes his head. “My Jedi master, bless him, cared, and tried very hard, but he wasn’t ready to handle a kid like me and in hindsight, I know that. He needed grief counseling, and I needed therapy, and neither of us was getting it. I don’t… I don’t believe anyone in the Temple would have known how to handle a kid like me.”

“But you don’t regret it.”

“I was meant to be a Jedi,” Anakin says, as firmly as he can without getting unnecessarily bitchy about it. “My struggles with the Code aside, I was meant to be here. But the Temple doesn’t have any resources for children who come older, and I think… I think you do need that.”

“You just outlined why a child can’t follow the Code if they come from a different enough background,” Windu says.

Anakin shakes his head. “No, that’s not—I think a kid like me can learn to be a Jedi, if a little unconventional, if they’re taught correctly. The desperation to cling to anyone and anything you have can be unlearned. It takes time and effort, but it’s possible. Soka and Ben are good at balancing Tatooine care with Jedi control. If you talk to Ben, you get an entire philosophical breakdown about it, but I’m more concerned with the child psychology, because that’s what could have broken me.”

Windu frowns. “You’re building up to something.”

“I think the Jedi need programs for children found older who can’t become full Jedi,” Anakin asserts. “Even those who cannot reconcile what they absorbed growing up with the Code and Jedi tradition… they, we, need guidance. The Council tried to reject me for being too old, and now that I’m grown I understand why, but… Master Windu, what do you think would have happened to me if I hadn’t had my Master to fight for me, and had been turned away?”

“We’d have looked into placing you back with your mother and, upon finding out that she was still enslaved, secured her freedom,” Master Windu says. “Qui-Gon Jinn had taken responsibility for you, and thus you were a ward of the Temple until such a time as you were safe again. It would have been cruel to keep you from your mother if we were not to raise you a Jedi, and crueler still to allow you to return to slavery.”

“And you think I’d have been safe with her?” Anakin asks. He needs Master Windu to understand this. “You think that would have ended well?”

“You don’t?”

“Ventress,” Anakin says. “Maul. Aurra Sing, even.”

Windu considers that. He looks across the grand, green room of the garden, and finally speaks. “You think you’d have been found and corrupted by a Sith.”

“I’d already helped Naboo win a battle. I was a powerful child with no support system in this respect, eager to please,” Anakin says. “Ventress and Maul both got twisted into Sith Apprentices. Aurra Sing was just a bounty hunter, but… even if the Jedi had never found me, and the Sith remained unaware, do you think I’d have ended up better than Sing? Or would the pressures of slavery have led to my Fall anyway, eventually slaughtering my owner, the Hutts, the entire system of Tatooine’s hells?”

Windu rubs a hand over his forehead. “I understand what you’re getting at.”

“It’s not just me,” Anakin says, as carefully as he can. “Even without the Sith, there are plenty of Force-Sensitive children in terrible situations that are liable to Fall just because of how power is wielded by those at the bottom. Refusing to take on students who are already at risk… the Jedi are meant to monitor Force users to prevent Sith and other dark-aligned people from harming the galaxy. It’s one of our primary duties. If the Jedi are allowing darksiders to rise just because of an age limit…”

“I get it,” Windu says, just a little aggressive. “I understand. Give me a minute.”

Anakin tries to wait. He’s older now, he can do that. He can be patient.

He tries to convince himself that it’s true.

“You have a point,” Master Windu finally allows. “And with the knowledge that the Sith are out there, still, it’s a more salient point than most would think. The EduCorps already has a subdivision for teaching meditative techniques to low-level force users who need to learn shielding but aren’t sensitive enough to be Jedi, or are just too old, but I see your point about encouraging a program for powerful Force-Sensitives that aren’t discovered early enough to integrate into the community in full.”

“And a more comprehensive Search pattern for the Outer Rim?” Anakin suggests. He shrugs at the look he gets. “What? You’ve seen my midicount. I was on Tatooine for almost a decade, and the only reason anyone found me was that Qui-Gon had to crash a ship in the middle of nowhere. I’m sure the Force led him to me, given all the coincidences, but that’s still a solid nine years that nobody did, despite how I apparently ‘shine like the sun’ or whatever.”

“Humble.”

“The last time I took a midichlorian test on a portable counter, it literally broke the device. That’s not arrogance, that’s just absurd.”

Windu looks exhausted by the comment. Anakin can’t bring himself to feel too bad about it.

“What about Jedha?” Anakin suggests instead. “Jedi find the kids, but if they’re too old to be Jedi, we could coordinate with one of the temples at Jedha to see about having them raised in the traditions of the Whills? They’re a little less orthodox, aren’t they?”

“In some respects,” Master Windu says. “More constrained in others, but… it’s a possibility. Most of the overlooked children, yourself included, are from parts of the Outer Rim that aren’t part of the Republic, Skywalker.”

Anakin shrugs. “And many of them would have been happy to be found and collected by a Jedi, even if they couldn’t become Jedi. Not the Dathomiri, since they’ve got their own thing going on, but… from what I know about Ventress, she actually did have a Jedi Master before the situation on Rattatak became… what’s the word… untenable? He died and she was left alone, and she’d been a slave already and it just… did not end well for her. But that was a planet overrun by pirates and warlords, and would have been approved as a planet the Jedi could help without it being a weird colonialism thing… if the Senate weren’t made up of cheapskates, at least.”

“Skywalker.”

“My name isn’t actually a reprimand, you know.”

“You’re not supposed to just say that,” Windu groans, running a hand over his face. “The Senate’s choice in funding is not optimal, but insulting them in that way, even in private—”

“They’re assholes,” Anakin says, and doesn’t let his humor show. “Except my late wife, but she’s not part of the Senate in this time, so I feel no shame in accusing the entire shitshow of being cheapskates.”

Windu looks about ready to push him off the ledge.

“You’re never allowed to go on diplomatic missions, are you?” Windu mutters.

“Unless it’s to Mandalore,” Anakin clarifies. “Also, never send me to Tatooine. Ever. Please. I kriffing hate that planet.”

“I’m going to assume you have plans to kill a Hutt if we ever send you to—”

“Yes.”

“Okay,” Windu sighs. “I’ll discuss this with the Council, see how they feel about reaching out to Jedha for your suggestion regarding the Whills.”

“And you’ll tell them not to worry about my kids?”

“Skywalker, they are never going to stop worrying about your family,” Windu tells him.

“That’s fair.”

#Anakin Skywalker #Mace Windu #Obi Wan Kenobi #time travel #de aging #Jedha #Jedi #Phoenix Posts #Anakin and the Jedi Babies

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