#therapist really went -i cannot speak to you-

[vanfleeter]

His Turn // JTK

Characters: Jake x Fem!reader Warnings: Angst. Language. Being ghosted and ignored. Fluff. Smut. Making out. Fingering. Breeding kink. Penetrative sex (p in v). Protected sex. Oral sex (fem receiving). I ask that you tell me if I missed anything, because I probably did. Author's Note: I honestly cannot tell you what created this idea.

Summary: After pining after you for years but only being a shoulder to cry on and an ear to vent in, he decides to step away and give his heart a break until one fateful night at a wedding that brings him back where he truly belongs.

Song to listen to: Just Friends - Jonas Brothers

Every boyfriend. Every heartbreak. Every date. Every time you got stood up. Every phone call. Every text that made you smile. He was there for it all. Supporting you and comforting you. Faking a smile every time.

He pined after you. Wishing that the next text that made you smile was from him. That the next date you went on was him taking you out and not some snobby asshole who thinks he’s a man but really he’s just another fuck boy wanting to get inside your pants and just another guy who will eventually break your heart.

Honestly, this was getting very tiring for him. Constantly wiping your tears, holding you while you wept against his chest. The late night phone calls where he wouldn’t speak a word, but instead listen to you and let you vent. He was starting to not care because he was getting tired of it.

So he stopped. He stopped caring. He stopped answering your phone calls and stopped responding to your texts that contained your hurt and your anger. He. Just. Stopped.

He won’t ever be good enough for you, because to him–he feels more like a therapist than a friend. A friend who is falling down the deepest well of love for you that he’s willing to just give it up.

Because when will it be him? When will you finally realize that the right one for you has been right there this whole time? And yet, you always choose the wrong one.

–

“She’s going to be there tonight, you know..” Josh says as he helps straighten out Jake’s bowtie. Jake grumbles about having to wear a bow tie and not being able to have his shirt unbuttoned the way he likes it. “Oh hush, you’ll survive. Just wear it through the ceremony and then I’m sure you’ll be allowed to undo it once pictures are finished.”

A friend’s wedding that they were asked to be groomsmen in. And you, a bridesmaid. He was nervous about seeing you again…since keeping his distance. He wondered how many wrong dates you’ve been on since he’d limited his time with you.

“Do I have to talk to her?”

“You don’t have to,” Josh says. He finishes with Jake’s tie before turning to face the mirror and work on his own. “You won’t even have to utter a single syllable as you walk with her down the aisle.”

“Of course, that..”

He was paired with you to exit the ceremony with and to enter the reception with. He couldn’t make it to the rehearsal so he hasn’t seen you yet. Or spoken to you.

“Can you walk with her instead?”

Josh scoffs. “And piss off the bride? Ha! Not happening brother.” He turns to face Jake once more, giving his twin a once over to make sure he was his best. “Good, let’s head out. We can’t be late.”

–

The wedding went smoothly. The walk down the aisle, however, was awkward. Painfully awkward. The tension was obvious but the both of you faked it the best you could. He never spoke to you, keeping true to what Josh suggested he do. You were hoping he’d complete you on how you look. Especially the dress. He said you always looked beautiful in green. Something about the way the color brought out your eyes and complimented your skin tone. But not a word was spoken, hardly even a glance. He kept his eyes focused in front of him as the two of you exited the hall. He let go of your arm as soon as you stepped through the threshold.

Photos were even more agonizing. Not once did he look your way. He either focused his attention on Josh or kept a conversation with the other groomsmen. You only caught him looking at you once the whole day, when you walked down the aisle. A quick look and then his eyes diverted back to the floor or somewhere else in the room. Anywhere then having to look at you.

Finally it was starting to get to you. All night you’ve been ignored and you weren’t going to take it any longer. Standing up from your chair, you maneuver through people while making your way up the bar where Jake stands with Josh. They’re chit chatting about upcoming projects when Josh spots you and immediately stops talking. He gives you a wide smile and patted your arm before eyeing Jake and walking away.

“Hey, can we talk?” You say. “Preferably somewhere where we can hear each other clearly?”

Jake’s eyes frantically search the room in hopes of finding an excuse to say no. But alas, he cannot. Sighing and giving in, he nods his head and motions towards the side doors that lead out to the back patio. Much to your gratitude, it’s void of any living soul.

“What did you want to talk about?” He asks, leaning against the wooden railing and taking a drink of his whiskey.

“What the heck has been going on lately?” You say. “We haven’t spoken hardly at all for months now and maybe I’m just slow at figuring shit out but I have this feeling that I did something..” Jake remains silent and takes another drink. “Jake, if I did something, then please tell me so I can apologize and fix it.”

“There’s nothing for you to apologize for,” He says. “What’s done is done.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You.. And me.” He takes another drink.

“So what.. We aren’t friends anymore?”

Again he remains silent.

“Jacob, wh-why can’t we be friends?”

He simply shakes his head and down the rest of his drink before pushing off the railing and walking towards the door. You grab his hand, preventing him from going any further. A strike of lightning lights up the night sky followed by a low rumble of thunder.

“Jake.. Talk to me.” You plead. “Why can we be friends anymore? What did I do?”

“I can’t talk about this..”

“Jake.. Come on, it’s me. You know you can talk to me.”

He shakes his head and pulls his hand away. “I can’t talk to you about this because it’s too hard to.”

“What do you mean? Why is it hard?”

“Because you..” He starts, but he sighs and runs a hand down his face. His back still faces you. “Because I… I’m so fucking in love with you and you haven’t even noticed it..”

His words stun you.

“You’re in love with me?”

He scoffs and rubs the back of his neck. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Yes it does, Jake.” You turn him around but just like all day, his eyes are everywhere but on you. “Why haven’t you ever told me?”

“When could I?” He says, his eyes finally meeting yours. You can see the hurt clouding his eyes as they flicker between yours. “Between all of the guys you were with and the many dates? Believe me when I say this, I wanted to tell you so fucking bad.. But whenever I tried, it always failed because when I finally got up the courage to tell you, I was met with tears or anger because of some asshole. But like I said, it doesn’t matter… Not anymore.” And with that he turns back around and heads inside the building to the party as if nothing happened.

To say you felt stupid was an understatement. This whole time, that man, your now former best friend, had been in love with you and you were so blind to notice. How could you have not seen it?

Your feet had yet to move, your body longing to run in there after him but nothing was happening. You watched him through the window pane as he moved through the crowded room, weaving his way towards the bar to get another drink. The door opens, pulling you out of your trance and you turn towards them as two happy and drunk people spilled out onto the patio. You give them a fake smile as they greet you and stumble past you and to the furniture that lies past you.

Another roll of thunder sounds above you and suddenly the downpour falls over you, soaking through your dress and weighing your hair down. The drunken couple quickly scurry inside leaving you outside alone and wet. The door opens again and Jake stands there and crosses his arms over his chest. “Get inside.”

“You still care?”

He rolls his eyes. “Always had a thing for theatrics.” He says. “Get inside before you get sick.” The wind blows a little, causing droplets of rain to hit his suit and hair. It slowly begins to grow damp as he stands there waiting for you. “Y/N, now.”

“Or what? You’ll leave me again? Ghost me?” You scoff. “You’re good at that.”

His jaw tightens. “I had every right to walk away. It was either get my heart ripped out of my chest every single time you had a new guy or save myself the heartache and walk away.” He had stepped out a little further, allowing the rain to really soak through his suit and soak his hair. “Now get the fuck inside.”

“No..”

“Y/N, why do you have to be like this?! Get the fuck inside or so help me god, I will carry you inside myself.”

“I. Fucking. Dare. You.”

He allows the door to close as he strides across the patio until he is face-to-face with you. With the heels you wear, you’re just about eye level with him. “Just because I gave up pining over you, doesn’t mean that I still don’t care.”

“Then why did you leave me?” You say. “Why couldn’t you just tell me that you loved me? It would have saved me a lot of embarrassment on cringey dates.”

His eyes close and he heaves a sigh. “I was afraid you wouldn’t feel the same..”

“Oh fuck, Jake.” You groan. “I do feel the same way!”

His eyes open again. “What?”

“I’ve been waiting for you to say something.” You say as you lightly push his shoulder. “That’s why I always called you before I left for those shitty dates because I was stalling, hoping you would tell me not to go–but you never did. You would only say that I look beautiful and to have fun and to be safe–but never once did you tell me not to go.”

“You know I don’t like making you mad..” He says. Rain slides down his face, droplets falling from the tip of his nose. “And I thought going on those dates did make you happy, you always seemed excited for them, why would I want to ruin them?”

“Because you love me!” You shout, stomping your foot. “You’re supposed to stop me! Had you done that a long time ago we wouldn’t be out here soaking wet from the rain!”

“Technically we wouldn’t be out here if you stopped being stubborn..”

You go to raise your hand to slap him but he catches your wrist in his grasp, his eyes piercing straight into yours. “Don’t do something you’ll regret.”

“The only regret I have is ever meeting you..” You yank your hand away and storm around him.

“You don’t mean that.”

“You don’t know what I do and do not mean, Jacob.”

You start to head back towards the doors of the building when he grabs your hand and pulls you back. His lips crash onto yours and he pulls you in close by your waist. The rain still pelts down on you both as your lips move in sync. He pushes his tongue against your teeth and you happily welcome it inside. He eventually pulls away after a few minutes to catch his breath. His chest heaves against you as he inhales deeply.

“Fuck..” He sighs.

“We should probably get out of the rain.” You say as you tug gently on the open jacket of his suit. He fishes into his pocket and pulls out his car keys before pushing them into your hand.

“Get in. I’ll get our things.”

“Won’t we get yelled at for leaving early?”

Jake chuckles and leans down to kiss you. “I’ll handle it–you go get in my car.”

Taking his keys, you slowly pull away, allowing your hand to linger a little longer on his exposed chest.

Shortly after getting into Jake’s car, he’s jumping into the driver’s seat and shoving the key into the ignition. He slides his hand over to your thigh and gives it a light squeeze. “Can I take you home?” He asks as he leans across the center console, his lips brushing lightly over yours making you want to chase after him.

“Please…”  He smiles against your lips before pulling away and throws the car in drive.

–

“This dress is really making me itchy..” You complain as you and Jake step through the front door of his house.

He chuckles and steps up behind you after closing the front door. He slides one of the straps of your dress down your shoulder before following after it with the other one. “Then allow me to remove it.” He says, his voice soft yet raspy from the whiskey he consumed and his warm breath cascading down your neck like warm, melted butter. “May I?”

“Yes…” You say, leaning your head back against his shoulder. You feel his hands slide down your sides and rest on your hips. He brings them slowly up your spine and drags the zipper back down and allows your dress to slide down your body and pile around your feet on the floor.

“I have to admit, I loved seeing you in this dress but seeing you out of it?” He traces his fingers along the expanse of your torso and up through the valley of your breasts. “So beautiful… And not wearing a bra.. So risky..” He cups his hands over your breasts and gives them a light squeeze, twisting your nipples between his fingers eliciting a moan from you. “I’ve always wondered how you felt…”

“Jake..” You moan, reaching behind you and digging your fingers into his wet and wavy locks. “Take me to bed..”

He hums, smiling against your neck. “As you wish..” He turns you around and lifts you up onto his waist and carries you upstairs. Stepping into his bedroom, he kicks the door shut behind him and lays you down on the bed. He straightens back up and starts to undress.

It isn’t long before he’s naked in front of you, his cock already rock solid. He climbs back onto the bed and nudges your legs apart. His tongue darts out between his lips as his eyes wander your body before stopping on your soaked underwear. He leans over you, his hands sliding up your body before he rests himself on them on either side of your head.

“Tell me you want it…” He presses his lips to your jawline.

“I want it…”

“Want what?”

“Jake..” You whine as you press your hips into him. He reaches one of his hands down between your bodies and presses his palm to your clothed center.

He growls in your ear. “So… Wet.. And that's all for me..” He leans backwards and hooks his fingers through the waistband of your underwear and pulls them off before tossing them somewhere in the room. “I want to play with you.. And taste you.. I’ve been dreaming of it but dammit baby, I really need to feel you all wrapped around me..”

You roughly pull him down on top of you, kissing him as you roll your hips against his. “Then what are you waiting for?” He gives you a quick peck before pushing away and climbing off the bed. He goes over to the nightstand and pulls open the drawer to retrieve the little foil pack. He dangles it in the air as he gives you a smug look.

“Have I dreamt of fathering your kids? Yes, a thousand fucking times.. But having that happen right now? I’m not ready.”

You giggle and prop yourself up on your elbows as you watch him walk back over to the front of the bed. He slides the condom over his length and crawls across the bed towards you and rests himself between your legs.

“Do you really want to do this?” You nod your head. He shakes his head and tilts your chin upwards with the knuckle of his index finger. “I need to hear that one word spill from that pretty mouth of yours.”

“Yes.. Jake, yes.”

He leans down to kiss you before reaching down to line up his cock with your entrance. He teases it a little before slowly pushing himself inside of you. Your moans and his mix within the air of the room as he pushes further inside of you and allows you time to adjust to him. The feeling of him stretching you out feels so pleasant.

“I’m going to start moving..” He heads a warning before he pulls back out for a couple seconds before pushing back inside. “Your perfect little pussy.. All warm and handling me so well..” He gives a few more slow thrusts into you before he starts to pick up a little speed and starts to pound into you.

Your breasts bounce as he thrusts into you, the sounds of skin slapping against skin fill the room. His heavy breathing fills your ears as he buries his face into the crook of your neck. His hands grasp your hips and he leans back making it easier for him to thrust even deeper and hitting spots where no other man ever has.

“Oh.. I did something..” He says. He does yet again and smirks when he realizes exactly what it is. “You sound so pretty when you make those sounds.”

“Jake.. I’m so close..”

“Yeah?” He brings a single digit to your clit and rubs it harshly yet it feels so good. Your back arches slightly off the bed and you grip the sheets within your white knuckled fists. Your eyes squeeze shut as the knot in your core tightens, threatening to snap at any given second and you would allow it. He hold you tightly as he fucks you through your orgasm, praising and encouraging you. He cums shortly after you, filling the rubbed wrapped around his cock.

Calming down for your highs, he carefully slips out of you and climbs off the bed to discard the soiled condom into the trash bin in the bathroom. He comes back out with a dampened wash cloth to gently clean you up. Going over to his dresser, he pulls out a pair of boxers and slips them on before grabbing another pair for you and a shirt. He comes back over to you and helps you slip into the boxers and the shirt.

The two of you eventually entangle yourselves together underneath the blankets and he kisses the crown of your head. His fingers graze lazily up and down your thigh. When you look up at him, he’s already looking down upon you with tired but loving eyes.

You reach up and cup his face in the palm of your hand. He nuzzles his face into it and kisses the edge of your hand.

“Jake… I’m sorry I never noticed..” You say. “I wish I had.. Because I feel like I missed so much..”

He hums and pulls you closer. “You didn’t miss a thing,” He says. “And don’t be sorry.. I shouldn’t have been such a wimp and not just tell you despite my fears..”

“Were you really going to leave me?” You ask.

His eyes fall shut and he nods his head. “But I was also being selfish.. I guess the whole just being your friend was just taunting me and I didn’t want to deal with it anymore..”

“Well consider yourself no longer in the friend zone,” You giggle and shove him over onto his back. “And I’m being truthful,” You say, your voice becoming serious as you hover over him. “I thought of you more than a friend.. I guess I was just afraid you didn't feel the same way. But fuck.. I craved you so badly.. Feeling your hands on my body,” He starts to move his hands from your back and down towards your hips. He gives them a gentle squeeze before sliding back your body and coming to your breasts to hold them again. His eyes never once leave yours. “And trying to imagine how your lips tasted..” He brings his head up and presses his lips to yours.

He sucks you in again, his tongue fighting for dominance as the heat of the moment burns hotter and hotter and igniting the fire in your belly once more. He moves his one hand down your side and around to your front. He dips a finger through your folds making you gasp against his mouth. He slides his finger inside of you, his eyes intently watching every inch of your face, memorizing exactly how it looks as plays with your pussy. You hum out in pleasure and push your body down onto his fingers, hoping to push him further. He allowed it, letting his index and middle finger go so deep until his knuckles were touching your entrance.

He drags his fingers along your walls and curls them. “Oh fuck Jake…”

“Your pretty pussy feels so good..” He says as he pushes his head forward again to kiss you. “It’s like wearing a velvet jacket.. But on my fingers..”

You can help but laugh and he joins. “You’re such a dork.”

“Your dork..” He says. “If you’ll have me.”

“I already do.” You say. “Please go faster.”

“Never thought I’d love to hear you beg.” He says as he pumps his fingers in and out of you. “But I do..” He flips the two of you back over, not once faltering his movements. He slides down the bed and rests his top half between your legs. “I’ve had dreams about you.. This perfect body, finally mine…” He curls his fingers again, a pleasurable moan escaping you once again. “Mmm, you sound so beautiful.. Say my name..”

“Jake…” Your back arches and you grasp the headboard, your eyes squeezing shut as the coil tightens in your core.

“Say it again..” He says before deepening his face into your folds and licking his tongue upwards in a slow motion.

“J-Jake…” You stutter. “Fuck.. Jake!”

Your hands leave the headboard and grasp tightly to his still damp locks. He hums against your folds, the vibration alone pushing you closer to the edge, your orgasm inching closer and closer as he works his fingers and tongue. He soon feels your walls clenching around his fingers and he squeezes your thigh with his free hand and kneads his fingers into your skin.

Instinctively your hips buck upwards, pushing closer to his face. Your orgasm rips through your body, plunging you into the ether. A different dimension if you will. The only thing keeping you grounded to your body was the feeling of Jake’s hand still kneading his fingers into your thigh as he lapped his tongue through your center and inhaled every drop your body could produce.

As you’re coming down from your high, he pulls away. He’s gasping for breath as he rests his head against your thigh. Noticing how quiet you’ve been since you came back down, he lifts his head to look up at you. Your eyes are laser focused on the ceiling and your chest is rising and falling as you try regulating your breathing.

“Are you okay?”

You respond with a simple nod of your head.

“Are you sure?” He asks. “Because your hands are still gripping my hair rather tightly.”

“Oh..” You let go of his hair and bring your hands to rest on your abdomen. “Sorry..”

He chuckles and pushes himself upwards. He slowly makes his way up the bed and lays beside you again. He pulls you over to him and massages the palms of his hands into your back. “How about a nice, warm bath to soothe your body?” He says, tilting his head slightly to look at you. You shake your head and his hands stop massaging you. “No?”

“Uh uh..”

“Okay.. So then what do you want?”

“Food..”

He snorts and runs his fingers through your hair. “You’re still hungry? I saw you inhaling your dinner during the reception.”

“In my defense,” You say, lifting your head. “I was just fucked as if the world was ending and now my body needs fuel.”

He chuckles and gently pays your ass. “Alright, bottomless pit. Go pee and I’ll start cooking.”

“Mmmm, naked?” You say, wagging your eyebrows.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

You nod your head, giving him a cheesy smile. “Only for you,” He says, giving you a peck on the lips. He pulls away from you and climbs off the bed before making his way over to the bedroom door.

“Hey Jake..” You call from the bed.

He stops in the doorway and turns back to face you. “Yeah?”

“I love you.”

A shit eating grin falls across his face, his cheeks reddening as he blushes. “I love you too.”

_______________________________

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#jake kiszka #greta van fleet fic #greta van fleet fanfic #jake kiszka fanfic #greta van fleet #jake kiszka fic #jake kiszka smut #jake kiszka angst #jake kiszka fluff

[steviesbicrisis]

Stranger Things S2 rewatch thoughts

I finally finished rewatching S2 and this is everything I've written down as I was watching lmao

KEITH USED TO WORK AT THE ARCADE?? Also the arcade is right next to family video so Keith just moved next door in season 3 lmao

Steve omg you’re so cute stop

FINALLY MAX IS HERE

Okay Billie is bad, yes? We all agree Billie is bad, right? But Dacre IS SO HOT I CANNOT HE TOOK A “PORCA TROIA” OUT OF ME LIKE IT WAS NOTHING

Honestly they’re so dope for dressing up as ghostbusters and going to school with matching outfits

Ugh Nancy and Steve are so terrible for each other

Steve’s face during the bullshit scene really broke my heart 🥺

People being annoyed at Joyce for being super protective of Will like what?? That boy was proclaimed dead, they had a funeral and he turned out to be in another dimension??? I dare you to not be at least a little paranoid

I’m getting the gayest vibes ever from this basketball + shower scene I’m not even joking, Harrington 100% felt what it is like to be a girl objectified in a nightclub

Billy calling Steve pretty boy is so fucked up like are you Eddie Munson? No so imma need you to back off ✋

Jfc no wonder Vecna chose max she’s a walking gold mine for therapists

One drive with Billy would be enough for me to become a target for Vecna I swear

A part of me will always blame Dustin for the cat’s death 🥲

Stranger things is so good I cannot fucking believe my eyes sometimes

First Nancy, now Hopper… can they like, stop going inside creepy ass portals all by themselves? FFS

OH MY GOD ERICA WAS SO SMALL HOW CUTE SINDFKJDF

Lucas telling Max “if I tell you the truth, you could be arrested or killed. Do you accept the risk?” Hits different now

FINALLY THE DUSTIN/STEVE DUO IS BORN

I was today years old when I realized Nancy broke up with Steve in S1 for a month but then she got back with him because she got tired of waiting for Jonathan

Dustin’s proud smile when Steve told him “good call dude” I CANT IM WEEK IM CRYING ON THE FLOOR

I will never get over Dustin’s pure adoration for Steve in this season

JUSTICE FOR BOB

BOB NEWBY THE SUPERHERO 😭😭😭

Everyone: it’s like the mind flyer! Steve&Max: don’t speak nerd in my presence pls

I’m sorry but Mike holding that small trophy as a weapon LOL

I CANNOT BELIEVE THE KIDS WERE AT THE WINDOW WHEN BILLY CAME ARE STUPID

I cannot believe they wanted to leave a beaten-up and concussed Steve behind, are you crazy???

I totally forgot that Steve, in a span of a couple of hours, pushed his girlfriend to be with another guy, got beaten up defending kids he barely knows and then went down - all beaten up and concussed - the upside down tunnels just for said kids?? ARE U EVEN REAL MAN?

Will turning to Mike when that girl asked him to dance 🥺

Nancy is so fucking right, those girls are so stupid turning Dustin down like fuck you who do you think you are????

Jopper at the end, I love my parents so much

Here my thoughts on S1!

#I know I took a long time #I wanted to savor it okay?? #Steve season 2 is premium quality #I know I mostly talk about steve but like #have you seen my blog??? #you should be surprised when I DONT talk about him #stranger things #stranger things rewatch #random st thoughts #season 2 rewatch #stranger things 2 rewatch

[mister-eames]

I love and worship the beloved “mustn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger darling” but ALSO can we please talk about the moment leading up to it? how right after “do it faster!” Comment (a misplaced anger) by Arthur to eames, When eveyone is hating each other and themselves, and eames who really didn’t have to help Arthur (mr-i-missed-the-part-about-fischers-militarized-mind-so-i-have-to-take-all-of-them-down-myself), stayed behind to help him?, I haven’t seen anyone talk/write about this part quite as much as the beloved “darling” comment, cause eames KNEW his idiot husband is blaming himself and just went there to help him and show that he’s not alone? Can we please??

You are correct, nonnie. I suppose I never really noticed Arthur taking it upon himself to deal with the combative projections all on his own in that warehouse, as if compelled to do so. They didn't really need to take them on (or any of them out really) - yes, they were getting 'boxed in' but the rooftop snipers weren't really a threat tbh. They'd be hoofing it outta there in that van in a matter of minutes, regardless.

A: How are we going to reconcile them if they're so estranged?

E: Well I'm working on that, aren't I?

A: Do it faster.

Arthur says 'do it faster' and then goes to take on snipers all by himself. Arthur, who can't just sit around and twiddle his thumbs while they're loading Saito up in the car. Arthur, who may have cocked up this whole job and Cobbs chances off ever getting home by missing the militarisation. Arthur, who must not only must he be blaming himself for this, but he must also be absolutely terrified and cannot, will not show it. Before, the job was a long shot. Now it's a gunshot between him and limbo and whatever horror Arthur perceives limbo to be. It's one gunshot between everyone else and limbo (purgatory? hell?) and them never coming back - or worse, coming back wrong.

Maybe Eames was being cocky and trying to get a rise out of Arthur. Maybe he was trying to distract him. Maybe it's all of the above and Eames knew Arthur enough to know he was kicking himself. What Eames did was he took a bit of the load off Arthur's shoulders with a size joke masqueraded as (valid) advice and a 'darling' and a big ol' explosion - and I think that is one of the reasons why dreamhusbands is so powerful. Because we love the 'darling' line, god knows I do, but what we really love is all the text and subtext that came before it - 'darling' didn't create the Arthur/Eames fandom - it's just another ingredient in the stew.

Eames says 'darling' and we hear 'darling' (supportive), 'darling' (derogatory), 'darling' (affectionate), 'darling' (cautionary). Their entire relationship throughout the film is laden with loaded words and unspoken words that speak to their history. And that really is the thing - Eames didn't need to be there. He didn't need to tell Arthur to 'dream bigger' in that moment. Eames, who is trying to juggle a severely shortened timeline and has as much pressure on him than anyone else, if not more, to try and play therapist to Fischer, still didn't let Arthur's snappish finger-clicking get a rise out of him. Still saw in Arthur what Arthur was feeling. And Arthur, who says 'do it faster', welcomes Eames helping him out - in fact, when he sees Eames approach, his whole body relaxes like his strings were cut. It's fucking teamwork.

#they're husbands ur honor #nonnie i don't know if this addressed your question #but i got to rewatch that whole part a few times #and they way arthurs body just... relaxed #like #he knows in his core Eames has his back #great moment #dreamhusbands #arthur x eames #inception

[gayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy]

- Things people have over heard Scorpius and Albus say-

Scropius: Oh, fiddlesticks.

Albus : Look, I understand this is a tense situation, but let's watch the fucking language.

-

Albus : Oh, here’s my award for the most rules broken!

Scropius: That’s not an award, it’s an angry letter from Headmistress McGonagall

Albus , hanging it on their wall: Well, it has the word ‘most’ in it, so I’m calling it an award!

-

Scropius: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it.

Scropius: And I started thinking.

Scropius: Like, it was just trying to get food.

Scropius: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck?

Albus : Are you ok?

-

Albus : I think I need a hug...

Scropius: Good thing I'm hug shaped!

*45 minutes later*

Albus : You... you can let go now.

Scropius: No, I absolutely cannot

-

Albus : Caffeine no longer keeps me awake while I work, so instead I have Scropius periodically send me texts saying ‘we need to talk.’

Albus : It gives me the right amount of adrenaline and fear I need to keep going.

-

Albus : Talk dirty to me~

Scropius: Inflation is a serious problem and lumber prices are at a high.

Albus : Wha-

Scropius: The economy is in shambles.

-

Albus : I have an idea.

Scropius: A good idea?

Albus : Let's not get ahead of ourselves

-

Scropius: Oooh, a train!

Albus : We’re in a train station, Scropius.

-

Scropius, near tears: Please, Albus , I don’t speak meme! I don't know what a 'yeet' is!

-

Scropius: I’m in love with you.

Albus : We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.

Scropius: I know.

Albus : Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

-

Albus : Remember that time you dared me to lick a swingset?

Scropius: No, I said "Albus , don't lick that swingset" and you said "Don't tell me what to do" and licked the swingset.

-

Scropius: *sighs* I have no friends...

Albus :

Albus : *coughs* Bitch, what am I? A roach?!

-

Scropius: Is the pink panther a lion?

Albus : Say that again but slower.

Scropius: I don’t get it.

Albus : Scorpius baby light of my life He’s a PANTHER.

Scropius: Is that a type of lion?

Albus : No, it’s a fucking panther.

Scropius: I just read a book about them and they aren’t pink!

Albus : AND LIONS ARE?!

-

Albus : When was the last time you cried?

Scropius: Uh 15 minutes ago, why??

Albus : really? That recent?

Scropius: Yeah *voice crack* is that a issue? *starts crying again*

-

Albus: You have had 4 mental breakdowns this week

Scropius: yeah? So?

Albus: It's Monday see a therapist.

#harry potter #scorpius malfoy #cursed child #harry potter next generation #albus severus potter #scorbus #draco malfoy #james potter #lily luna potter #rose weasley

[saeist]

SHARE THE DRUNK HCS AND BLURBS PLZ IM BEGGING (totally not drunk rn too 😍)

random drunk headcanons of various bllk characters:

sae – face and neck gets really red. like almost the color of his hair. still doesn’t talk much even when drunk although he occasionally cracks a joke here and there but no one gets it cuz they think he’s serious

isagi – clumsy as fuck once the alcohol hits. man is stumbling and falling around everywhere + he hiccups

rin – lightweight. give him a can of beer and hes out. also an emotional drunk. mainly talks and babbles about sae and you know its time to go home when he starts covering his face cuz hes crying (about sae)

oliver – the drunk uncle kind of drunk. can drink like a sailor but with every pint he finishes he gets louder and louder til he’s full on yelling (he thinks hes just speaking normally), also the one who proposes to everyone that they should get a drink. sings a lot too while under the influence (he’s bad at it sad to say…)

karasu – the philosophical when drunk. literally starts a whole debate about anything and still continues to assess people but more upfront now. will literally air out all the problems you seem to have with just a cold hard stare for about 5 minutes. becomes the group’s therapist

nagi – knocked out just after one sip. doesn’t drink, doesn’t want to drink, got forced by reo to go with them and now he’s sleeping soundly at the edge of the couch. (he’s the guy that everyone thinks got shitfaced drunk thats why he passed out but no)

reo – the dd or the designated driver. also pays for everyone’s drinks + anything the guys break at the club/bar/karaoke/etc. can handle liquor like a boss he is. ends up drinking one on one with one the last man standing guys since everyone is now literally shit faced drunk (usually its karasu) and opts to buy the hardest whiskey the club/bar/karaoke/etc. has to offer just to “unwind” no reo, you just have money and liver of gold

bachira – the one that ends up breaking something/s because he got the zoomies from drinking too much

chigiri – drinks cocktails like long islands, etc. cuz he’s chigiri

aryu – also only drinks cocktails OR wine 🍷 #styl

tokimitsu – got peer pressured (by otoya) into drinking a lot and is now a babbling mess

otoya – talks a lot of shit for someone who’s also another lightweight. initiates the drinking games that caused 75% of the group to blackout from drinking a lil too much. tried to invite girls in but got blocked by kunigami

kunigami – drinks only a little cuz he’s that one saint that looks over the group when everyone is wasted. bless up kunigami 🙏

shidou – the first one to get shitfaced blackout drunk. like actually. the moment they arrive at the venue, he orders the hardest thing on the menu and downs it in one go. (otoya instigates saying “bet you cant drink that shit in a minute and shidou goes BET) also the one breaking tables with bachira because they were playing the floor is lava and you know how that went… also makes fun of rin for crying about sae (“pussy!” -shidou 2k23)

kurona – sits at the corner drinking his own cup and eventually does get a lil tipsy. you can tell with how he repeats words more frequently and how he mispronounces them

hiori – the gunner aka the one who pours the drinks to everyone. also can take liquor like a man! liver of steel i tell you that. they cannot escape hiori when it’s someone’s turn to drink like .. he will deadass follow you around with your cup if its your turn like… nothing will stop my man hiori! will also give you a side eye if you pass this round . but that’s just him

yukimiya – doesn’t want to drink but is forced to drink since hiori keeps following him around. is a little lightweight since he doesn’t drink at all. also gets free drinks from random strangers because they think he’s hot (mostly from the ladies with their numbers under the cup) is the one that got side eyed by hiori since he passed this round.. again

#this was fun #you have (1) new message! #from: unknown sender #bllk imagines #blue lock imagines #bllk headcanons #blue lock headcanons

[charmhmm]

GRAMMATICAL ERRORS AHEAD. THIS IS PURE FICTION. please see the comments for content warnings.

성화.

"silly dates.

movie nights.

morning walks, late night strolls.

that's what we always do before that night the accident happened.

and now, we're just a total stranger.

for him. for him, i was a stranger. i am nobody. someone he doesn't know.

hongjoong doesn't even know who i am.

after he lost his memories due to that accident.

it was during April 10th. our supposed to be two year anniversary. some driver... were out of control that has occurred an accident... and that involves him... that involves hongjoong." seonghwa lets out a deep sigh.

"go on, i'm listening."

seonghwa continues.

"i wonder if we just rescheduled the date just like we planned because our schedules didn't match but he went anyway, because he doesn't want to make me wait... because it was our special day." seonghwa bits his lower lip, looking down at his own fingers, fidgeting them like a child.

"now i am the only one who remembers that." he looks up at his therapist, eyes almost clouded with tears.

"go on, mr. park. let it all out."

seonghwa cried like a child, and the therapist could only listen. their session has ended earlier than expected because sadly, seonghwa isn't in a good shape.

today is a Sunday morning. august 7th. it's been almost four months since the accident had happened. yet seonghwa remained the same, still grieving for a man who's not even gone from his existence. but what pains him is the memories that has been lost from his lover's mind. and seonghwa couldn't even handle that.

now here he is. on his usual spot. or actually, let's rephrase that. on hongjoong's usual spot. seonghwa and hongjoong are currently on a park, where both of them sitting in a bench not that far from each other. hongjoong might have forgotten his memories and relationship with seonghwa, but his love for music is still there.

hongjoong can't see him. seonghwa is facing hongjoong's back, a perfect spot for seonghwa to sketch hongjoong. he has like a half of his sketchbook now, consisting some sketch of hongjoong's back while playing his guitar, in every different Sundays.

seonghwa is contented in this way.

august 14th. another Sunday. same time, yet hongjoong is not on his usual spot. seonghwa tried to look around, yet hongjoong cannot be seen. he takes a seat with a sigh, hugging his sketchbook with disappointment.

not until he heard a soft whisper on his ear.

"hey."

seonghwa was startled. that he almost threw his sketchbook on the stranger's faceㅡ oh it's not a stranger. it's Hongjoong.

it's Hongjoong.

'what do i do? do i run? do i act casual?'

he couldn't even speak, he was just there, eyes wide, staring at his old lover who doesn't even remember he exist.

"i've seen you a lot around here. you're always on my back." hongjoong spoke, now making his way beside seonghwa, holding a case which is probably his guitar case.

"and i can feel you're watching me. i wonder why?" hongjoong faces seonghwa who's now looking at him, tilting his head with a smile.

hongjoong still looks the same. no, he doesn't. his hair got longer, and the scar on his forehead is visible. yet he can't afford to stare, because the man might find him weird.

"well, i just... find you interesting." seonghwa has gotten the urge to speak, finally.

yet his mind says otherwise.

'i miss you, hongjoong.'

"i'm hongjoong. kim hongjoong. your name?"

"seonghwa... park seonghwa." seonghwa couldn't help but to smile, and grab hongjoong's hand when he offered it.

and they talked for the rest of the day.

those sundays were becoming a habit for the both of them.

now, seonghwa isn't just looking for hongjoong's back, they're now looking face to face, sharing every stories they got, as if they're getting to know each other.

but yes, that's not the case for seonghwa.

yet it's a different case for hongjoong.

September 3rd.

"i really like your humor. i should have approached you sooner." hongjoong was in tears, after laughing on Seonghwa jokes.

"you really should. you missed out some part of your life not doing it sooner." seonghwa wiped his own tears, both of them dying from laughter.

September 10th.

"seonghwa, i feel like you should know this."

"what?"

"i actually lost my memories due to an accident. and mom wouldn't let me know some of them... although i remembered this place. this park. seems like i was always here even before i lost my memories."

"probably because this is where you stay the most... they say some memories tends to stay even though you already lost some of them." if seonghwa could only tell him, that this was their usual spot whenever they go on a date.

September 17th.

"seems like we're hanging out too much, i am starting to miss you."

"oh really?" seonghwa couldn't help but to smile like an idiot.

'but i miss you all the time, hongjoong.'

December 11th.

"what are your plans for Christmas, Hongjoong?"

"i will go back to Anyang with my eomma. we're going to celebrate Christmas in our hometown... i am going to miss you, Seonghwa."

"i'm going to miss you too, hongjoong." seonghwa replied with a smile.

January 13th.

"Seonghwa! i thought you wouldn't show up." hongjoong lets out a sigh of relief when he saw seonghwa running towards him on his usual spot.

"dummy, i was waiting for you in here every sunday."

February 14th.

"seonghwa... i have something to tell you."

"what? don't tell me you like me now." seonghwa was laughing, yet he's actually nervous for what hongjoong will say.

"how did you know?" hongjoong replied.

"wait, are you serious?" seonghwa could only stare at hongjoong."

March 13th.

"so this is like a thing for us now, huh?"

"what thing?" hongjoong asks.

"us. meeting every Sunday. here in this spot."

"i guess we're used to it by now. my feet automatically walks it's way towards this place. it's inevitable." after exchanging those words, a laughter can be heard.

March 24th.

"seonghwa... can i...take you out? on a date..?"

seonghwa was flustered. because the man he's inlove with, is currently asking him out on a date. he can't help but to smile.

he's still the hongjoong that seonghwa knew. it's just that he can't remember seonghwa.

"sure... next sunday it is?"

"yes, next sunday... I'll see you by then, seonghwa."

they can't help but to exchange sweet smiles, and those glances as they part ways.

April 3rd.

it was the day for their first ever date. well, at least for hongjoong. because Seonghwa can't even count the days on his fingers.

he and hongjoong always had a time for a date. it can be an indoor date, when seonghwa is cooking their favorite pasta while hongjoong sets up the table, or those silly movie nights that always ends up with them snoring beside each other. ah, how he misses those days. and now, it's about to happen again. but in a different phase, and who knows? a different type of date.

seonghwa has been laying down on his bed with a pile of clothes beside him because he can't choose what to wear not until he hears his phone ringing.

it was hongjoong.

without hesitation, he picked it up.

"seonghwa... i think we need to reschedule. it's raining so hard. i don't want us to get into any accident or something..."

seonghwa was a little bit of disappointed, yes. but he appreciates hongjoong's notice, especially it's raining pretty hard.

"hello, joong. no, it's okay. we can go next Sunday, or at least when the weather's not being a bitch." seonghwa replied, and he can hear hongjoong laughing on the other line.

"okay, hwa. next sunday it is. i'm sorry, i hope you're not thinking that i don't want this date anymore. i just can't risk both of us, you know." hongjoong said apologetically.

"oh silly, i know that's not your intention." seonghwa laughs lightly. "i can wait. there's always a next time." seonghwa smiles, even though hongjoong couldn't even see him.

"yes, there's always a next time. see you, hwa. i miss you." hongjoong said shyly, as he was also the first one to end the line.

"cute. he's still shy like that." that's all seonghwa could say before he gathered all of his clothes back to his closet and chose a decent outfit for next sunday.

April 10th.

today is the next Sunday they had promised to see each other.

oh.

april 10th...

today is their supposed to be third anniversary.

the universe is literally playing with him, huh?

he had to make sure everything goes well today.

he wouldn't want to repeat the same mistake that has happened a year ago, right?

seonghwa fetched his phone on his pocket and dialed hongjoong's number.

after a few rings, hongjoong picked up.

"oh, hwa. are you there? i'm almost at the restaurant, please wait a little longer."

"oh no, hongjoong. i'm running a bit late. can you go there first? I'll meet you there, i promise. i just had to do something real quick."

"promise me you'll show up."

"i promise." seonghwa assures hongjoong. because there's no way he can ditch the love of his life on a special day like this.

seonghwa were pacing back and forth inside his room, overthinking if he should walk, take the bus or ride his bike.

after thinking for almost twenty minutes, he just decided to take his bike because for god's sake, he's taking too long, he doesn't want hongjoong to wait for that long.

seriously, he needs to work on his mind.

after making sure the tires aren't flat and ready to go, he immediately made his way to the restaurant. but still, he was cautious with his surroundings. what if he suddenly hit a cat? that's bad luck.

a few more kicks on the pedals, he's almost there. the restaurant was on the other side of the highway and he can actually see hongjoong pacing outside the restaurant, and he couldn't help but to smile.

poor boy. he thought i wouldn't show up.

the light's still green.

seonghwa waved to get hongjoong's attention, and he didn't fail. he can see hongjoong on the other side of the road, smiling brightly at him.

all of his worries were gone when he saw hongjoong. after the light turned yellow, seonghwa takes a strong grip on his bike, ready to cross the road. yet instead of riding his bike, he went down, and walked beside it. he was too focused on hongjoong that he didn't even notice the car that's going on full speed even though the light's red.

before seonghwa could stop, it was too late.

beep... beep..... beep.....

홍중.

i feel lifeless.

with all these white walls surrounding over me, it makes me weak. how long i have been in here?

hongjoong opened his eyes, yet he can't move. his body felt so numb. he can only move his eyes, and there he saw a woman, crying helplessly.

he could only blink his eyes in response.

"why am i in here?" he starts talking through his mind, the woman can't hear him.

he can see the woman running towards the door, shouting to call someone or anyone to check on him.

ah, i must be in a hospital. but what the fuck just happened?

hongjoong got the strength to remove the intubation, and started speaking.

"who are you?"

that's the only thing he said, yet the woman starts to break down once again.

and that very day that he woke up, he heard that he's currently experiencing a retrograde amnesia, which he can't remember some things in the past. and he has come to know that this woman with him is his mother; who took care of him.

he was asleep. for two weeks.

his mother had told him he got into an accident going somewhere. that he shouldn't remember it ever again, because it's a bad memory.

hongjoong was fine to go. the doctor said that the amnesia will be temporary if his mother would help him remember things.

but that's not the case for hongjoong's mother.

mrs. kim always hated seonghwa for hongjoong. she couldn't accept the fact that hongjoong is gay, and is happily in love with seonghwa.

she couldn't embrace the fact that his son is in love with a man.

as soon as the arrived back in their home, the first thing she did was to take all those photos from hongjoong's room, the ones with seonghwa, so his son wouldn't remember the man anymore.

or that's what he thought.

hongjoong still remembers the fragments of seonghwa in his mind; even though his face was quite blurry.

he was still out of it. all of the betrayal he's experiencing from his mother just because she couldn't accept what his son wants; seonghwa.

now he had found himself every Sunday on this park that they usually go to. and surprisingly, Seonghwa was always there.

on his back. watching him.

he tried to fight himself not to see Seonghwa again, because this is for the better. but oh, who is he to dictate his own heart? it is screaming for seonghwa.

seonghwa. seonghwa. seonghwa.

that he couldn't even help himself anymore and started approaching the older, embodying his amnesia to the fullest.

yet it is true; he can't remember the past he had with seonghwa nor the other events, but one thing's for sure.

this man right there was his other half and still is his other half, memories of them from the past might be gone but his love, his name will never be forgotten.

it went on by months.

every sunday. having their little hang outs.

that especially helped hongjoong to remember, seonghwa's presence makes him remember. that all of those blurry memories became clear; that he can finally remember it all. he's planning to tell this all to seonghwa. on their third anniversary.

and that day has come.

April 10th.

hongjoong was too cautious to go that he had to walk towards the meeting place just to save himself from future harm.

he can't deny that the phone call had just happened made his heart nervous, but he knows seonghwa wouldn't ditch him.

i just hope he won't hate me for keeping this to him for that long.

seonghwa was taking too long that he got out of the restaurant, started pacing back and forth, rethinking his life decisions because what if seonghwa had run away? what if seonghwa doesn't want him anymore?

not until he saw a man waving across the road, and there he is.

his other half, seonghwa.

for heaven's sake he doesn't know why this light's taking too long to turn red, he can't wait for his lover to cross the road and to be finally with him once again.

red light.

he can see seonghwa gripping tightly on his bike, crossing the road with such a big smile.

not until he can see this car going through seonghwa's direction.

everything happened so fast.

now he can see seonghwa, lying on the ground, looking lifeless. blood all over his head.

seems like his world had stopped.

his feet automatically dragged him where seonghwa is, as he scooped his lover up, crying helplessly while screaming for help.

"seonghwa.... hwa, oh hwa. please. wake up... don't leave me yet..."

ㅡ

they're back at it again.

white walls. the small beeps from the monitor. yet it's not hongjoong who's lying, now it's seonghwa.

with a bandage on his head, an intubation on his mouth.

they've been here for almost three weeks. and god knows how hongjoong has been calling him, begging him for seonghwa's consciousness to be back.

hongjoong has been holding seonghwa's hand, never left his side.

it was Sunday.

May 1st.

hongjoong felt a small movement from seonghwa's hands. he thought he was just hallucinating. yet he can feel seonghwa's grip tightening, that hongjoong immediately pressed the buttons from the nurse's office so they can send a doctor on seonghwa's room.

seonghwa's eyes flattered open, and hongjoong felt like a rock has been lifted on his back.

hongjoong was asked to wait outside, which he thinks is unfair but seonghwa would be fine, he assures himself.

the doctors did some checking on seonghwa, that they can finally declare to him that seonghwa is finally conscious. yet there's still a problem.

"you see, mr. kim... mr. park hit his head pretty strong. we saved him from having any brain malfunctions yet this case is inevitable. he's currently suffering from a retrograde memory loss... means he can'tㅡ"

"he can't remember some of his past, i know..." hongjoong didn't even let the doctor finish. he felt numb. he felt his palms getting cold.

after the talk with the doctor, they had finally let him in.

and he can see seonghwa, sitting there, his color finally going back, yet looking so confused.

hongjoong takes a seat beside him, intertwining their hands together.

"hey, seonghwa."

"i'm seonghwa... who are you?"

hongjoong couldn't help but to smile.

"i'm hongjoong.. kim hongjoong. and i'm your boyfriend." hongjoong told seonghwa with a hesitant voice, but he still went for it anyway.

"but.. i don't.... i don't remember you." hongjoong could feel the guiltyness on seonghwa's voice, but he's determined to have seonghwa back on his life.

"don't worry, I'll make you remember." that was hongjoong's words as he kissed seonghwa on the back of his palm.

#ateez #ateez fanfic #ateez imagines #ateez fluff #seongjoong #seonghwa #hongjoong #ateez matz #matz

[just-a-carrot]

okookookkokoko WHERE DO I EVEN START. I LOVE THIS GAME SM SMH BUT I HAVE A HARD TIME EXPLAINING STUFF SO TAKE THIS SHORT PASSAGE. (Most of this will be an unorganized ramble btw)

(SPOILER WARNING FOR MOST ARCS)

I played T2A2G and OC before this so um. Guess which route I did lmao. SPEAKING OF ROUTES, GENZOU GENZOU GEZNOU GEZNOU GEZNOU OMG GENZOU. I RELATE TO THIS MAN IN WAYS I DID NOT KNOW I COULD RELATE TO A CHARACTER. LIKE WTH?? HE HAS SUCH A TRANSPARENT CLOSET LOL. And also speaking of Genzou I do have a few questions related to him

-Is Genzou fully blind? I don't think he is bc of his cane but I heard it's different in some countries so idk

-We learn Genzou is (supposedly) taking antidepressants in Arc 2. Is he clinically depressed? (According to the Visual Noval Database he is anyways but idk)

-HOW TF DOES HE DEAL WITH BEING CANNIBALIZED TWICE LIKE DAMN..I WOULD HAVE A BREAKDOWN NO MATTER WHO I'M WITH??

-Did Genzou's friends ever like assume that he was gay?? Or like did he tell anyone?? Or did he try his best to hide it lmao

-Did anyone think/know that Gen had a crush on Iggy??

-GENZOU WITHOUT HIS HAT <333

I love Genzou sm if you couldn't tell already /p

ARC 3 CONFUSED ME SM LOL. I thought that I had accidently switched routes (even though I hadn't even made my LI choice, I ofc didn't know this atm though) from Genzou to Orlam and I was fr so confused like waht. Also like I feel so bad for Orlam wth </3.

HUMAN JERRY.

OO ALSO SOME MORE THINGS

-During some parts (mostly during arcs 3/4) I HAD TO PLAY A RELAXING PLAYLISTS BECASE I FELT OVERWHELMED/ANXIOUS/IDEK?? AND AT SOME POINT I JS GAVE UP AND STATED PLAYING HYPERCORE LMAO

-I LOV ELOVE LOVE THE WAY THAT THE NEUTRAL ENDING COLLIDES(???) WITH OC LIEK WHATWHDWATDHFWHWFTHAFG. IDK BUT FOR ME IT MAKES ME FEEL LIEK IT'S THE MORE "CANON" ENDING EVEN THOUGH THERE IS (probably) NO CANON ENDING.

-I IMMEDIATELY WENT TO THE GALLERY LIEK OMG??

-Some of my favorite liens in the game were the homicidal gardener lines (both referring to Iggs and Gen), when Gen was arguing with Jerry, When Genzou was telling iggs during the Arc 5 Kiddie Cruise scene that it shoudn't be a choice like I WAS GONNA CHOOSE DONT JUMP JS TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS LOL

-I also relate a lot to Iggy in some forms

-GIDGET.

-I took a total of 260 screenshots of this game (as of now heheh)

UM YH THATS ALL SORRY IF IT'S HARD TO UNDERSTAND OR TOO ENERGETIC BUT I TRULY LOVE THIS GAME SM. Ima go replay OC again byes <3 :3 BEST REGARDS ILYSM /p

KDFJLADFA this message is so chaotic, i love it

first off, i'm really happy you like the game (and genzou) weep. thank you so much for all the kind words 😭💕 i'm also always super intrigued to see where/how ppl came into the game, so hearing you played T2A2G and OC first is very interesting to me lakdjfkdjfa

regarding your questions:

yes he is; i do think he sees a bit of light/shadow (which is different to an answer i gave some time ago, but i've been thinking about it since) but that's about it; it's a result of traumatic optic neuropathy

yes he is; he's been on meds and seeing a therapist for a while

i cannot answer this question LOL 🤣 i also don't know. i guess the only answer is that he has no choice

mmm... he never outright told anyone in the friend group. tbh he doesn't outright tell many people, mostly as he's just a bit of a private person in that regard and keeps to himself outside of attempting dating apps every now and then. i would not say he actively attempted to hide it though aside from around iggy. as for other people assuming i think it was something many of them did kinda realize but never said anything also

similar here, i think some of them kinda knew. i think gidget knew, even if they kinda ignored it, because it prompted their jealousy on a few occasions. i think orlam had a bit of a guess but it wasn't really confirmed until later

LDKAJFSLDKFA THAT'S NOT A QUESTION

LOL about the routes. indeed, if you don't realize that actually all the "routes" are mandatory parts of the story until the finale then it can be confusing if you thought you were going for a specific char early on or something 🤣 it's not like the games where you can pick your route and then the rest of the game is that route

hahaha yeah i wouldn't say there's a "canon" ending. for one, i feel like that would kinda defeat the point of having different possibilities to begin with. why make other choices if there's only ever one canon ending? i want people to be able to choose however they want the story to end. i mostly connected the neutral ending to OC as a sort of self-indulgent gift to myself, because i thought it would be very sweet if iggy would still have a chance to find companionship with one of his friends later on even if he chose to focus on himself first. like that it just keeps it open. i also just thought it'd be a fun easter egg to give ppl more incentive to at least try the neutral route as i figure most ppl would not choose that route as it's kinda short compared to the others and doesn't give as much closure to the other chars

260 SCREENSHOTS LDKJFASDLFA

sob thank you for this lovely message!! it was really fun answering your questions hahaha and i'm really glad you liked the game so much!! it means a lot!! 💕

#ow: finale spoilers #ask: ow #ask: genzou

[virgokismet]

heyy all ♥ here presenting another resident to the haunted 👻share-house, ienaga yuji. under the cut i've provided information about him in a bullet point list, and by clicking on the words you can read his profile, his brief biography and his pinterest board for more of a vibe-feeling. if you'd like to interact, i'm available through both IMs and discord, as i don't mind either platforms at the end of the day. thank you for your time! ♥

22, virgo sun libra rising virgo moon

been living in korea for the last 10 years! moved to busan at the age of 12 due to his parents' jobs and they just decided to stay permanently

had little to no issues with adjusting to the move! him attending the school for teens like him, whose parents moved from jpn to kor for their jobs, aided a lot in the transitional period; he was surrounded by a language he knew and he fit in comfortably, lucky enough that his new friends helped him adjust, too. his parents worked a lot so whenever yuji was not at school or with friends, he was either studying or consuming various tv shows n stuff. overall a bright child -> teen since the day he was born and how does he do it i don't know but he has to teach us all!!!

present time yuji works at viva, as a bartender. enjoys the job even if he's standing all evening / night and socializing because he's quite extroverted and energetic, enjoys being arnd people + it's sort of grown as a safe space for him too. basically switched day for night. a vampire, if i may.

will shamelessly flirt for tips, or will be like, a therapist if he has to. always schmoozing boss to let him dj but he hasn't been really successful at it....

makes friends easily and will remain that 'oh we're friends still wdym' attitude even with someone he hasn't really been in touch with for whatever reason

(buzzing sounds) if i haven't done the math right please let's pretend i did but, character and concept design graduate

in the way of every designer, he's a free spirit and doing like fifty things at once :+) making posters, adjusting and sewing own clothes, screen printing shirts, making his own jewellery, if given the chance would even dabble in tattooing? bring out the stick n poke set! will try everything at least once because how can you know if you like something if you haven't tried it?

his true passion, however, is producing music; which is why i mentioned he wants to dj as well. yes he does have a spotify AND a soundcloud profile and together combined he has like 1.5k listeners... a rising star if you ask me! definitely has mixtapes ~published in both kor and jpn, even tries making samples for games... he really believes he can make it if anyone just gives him a chance (maybe he shouldve gone the auditioning route instead lol!) don't really have a style reference but he's talented in both flow of lyrics and music production itself

tiny shirts and baggy jeans are a staple of his wardrobe. like you won't ever see him in skinny jeans ever and if you do it's because he lost a really bad bet.. tries with his appearance because he wants to look and present himself nice; in a way, the children (yuji) yearn for the mines (harajuku). speaking of, baggy jeans went platinum in his head, alongside everything that kard has put out

aside the fact he's literally a #soundcloud_rapper and a #short_king another red flag about him is that cannot commit to a relationship for his life. or like, he can and y'all can be exclusive and going on dates and genuinely being a full on couple, but the moment the word boyfriend is uttered he kinda gets cold feet. there's an explanation for this but the onion hasn't been peeled deep enough x

however like i said he's an overall friendly individual, so he tries to stay friends with his exes :+)

currently living at the artists' share-house and... the spooky aspect of it doesn't really bother him? like yeah it's spooky but also maybe we are all just forgetful and that's the cause of everything and it's all just overreacting and ghosts aren't real. he's the girl who's going to be okay. also his side of the share-house room just might be the scariest thing ever cause it's so unbelievably messy

certified lover of cats will feed stray cats will buy literally everything if it has cats on it or it's cat shaped/themed... even if he realistically does not need it at all

as far as plots go, with the way his personality is i can see just about anything working out between our characters :) obviously fellow share-house residents and shenanigans that keep them scared of going to sleep or the typical 'who took this food container that obviously has my name label on it' misshap / connections made through the club itself like maybe yuji bothers your character to be taste tester for the cocktails he made up on the spot / usual club partners ordeal / (that tiktok audio) someone keeps bothering and bothering and bothering your chara so he steps away from the bar like jazz hands omg hi bestie we need to catch up / musical friends and collabs... or more antagonistic and someone who rips his demo for themselves... or even a h8r who thinks his attempt at music are corny... i dont really have a specific uni name in mind for him either but uni friends can happen too, maybe our charas gave each other some tutoring classes? thrift buddies... literally anything goes and idm filling in your wcs either 🫶🏻

#jongno:hello #yapped a lot but said so little... regardless will be messaging slowly for plots 🫶🏻🫶🏻

[ludwigbeilschmidts]

a symptom of being human - master post

a symptom of being human is my humanverse gerame & pruk hetalia au. i am hoping to write a cohesive story about it one day but for now i'm compiling this information here (taken from discord & my google doc) for you to look at. i'll link to the other posts here.

all posts of this au will be tagged as #asobh.

general info.

it's set in germany. arthur meant to study abroad for two semesters, but ran into gilbert because they studied the same thing (art history) and then never left. alfred wanted to escape the unites states and went to germany as an au pair, which is where he met ludwig.

arthur and gil are 4 years older than lud and al.

ludwig has autism.

alfred & gilbert are trans.

arthur speaks fluent german, alfred is learning german but is having a much harder time learning it than arthur.

alfred and matthew are still twins, but matthew lives with his father in canada, while alfred lived with his mother in the united states. they still talk generally.

the next paragraph is technically also general info but it needs to be expanded so it gets its own bullet point list here.

gilbert and his thing with death.

terminal illness! discussion of death and dying!

gilbert has an unspecified illness that is going to kill him before he's 30. i haven't decided on what yet, but it's a degenerative disease that he was born with, and it got diagnosed when he was a young child, and he has been raised with the knowledge that he won't make it past 30.

UPDATE: gilbert has hermansky-pudlak syndrome type 1, an extremely rare autosomal disorder, that causes albinism, bleeding diathesis, immunodeficiency, and pulmonary fibrosis.

he has a life expectancy of around 30, and has been raised with that knowledge. he's well aware he's going to die.

so is ludwig, of course, but it's still hard on everyone. ludwig cannot cope with the concept well, because he cannot fully grasp it.

gilbert's mortality especially becomes an issue once the relationship between arthur and gilbert becomes serious.

because gilbert didn't talk about it when they got together, because he assumed they wouldn't stay together long enough anyway, and then suddenly arthur is proposing to him and gilbert realizes this is a conversation they have to have immediately, 'cause he will not marry him under false pretenses.

gilbert is pretty optimistic despite the dying thing, usually. he planned his own funeral because he's pragmatic like that. his testament is written and he jokes about it constantly, he doesn't care because he never knew anything else. but of course even he has his limits and gets very, very upset about it sometimes.

when it comes to leaving his family behind, or even more personal things.

like settling down or starting a family he has difficulties dealing with it. because he's good with kids, maybe would even like some, but he knows it's not really feasible. he wouldn't live long enough to see them growing up, and he couldn't put the stress on arthur on raising children alone, and he couldn't put the stress on the children either. to lose a parent. adopting isn't an option because of that, and biological kids even less so because he would be too scared of passing his illness on. and he is really struggling with it, because it's something he always wanted.

the only person gilbert really talks about his issues with is his father. gilbert can't possibly imagine how hard it must be for him to know he's going to lose his son, but he talks things through with him a lot and in the end they both feel better, especially because gilbert sometimes just needs to rant.

that and his therapist. because you bet your ass germania put this kid in therapy the moment that diagnosis came.

links.

the german family. german family part 2.

pruk.

germerica.

bad friends trio.

roderich.

misc.

fic: baby, pull me closer. [prueng, explicit]

[will be updated with other links, like arts or fic.]

#hetalia #asobh #hwa germany #hws prussia #hws america #hws england #pruk #gerame #germerica

[granulesofsand]

hi i totally understand if this is way too personal to answer but did you know what youd been through from the start or did you find out later on? if its the second im not asking for details or anything but vaguely howd you figure it out?

🗝️🏷️ RAMCOA, torture mentions, suicide/sh, active trauma, unlucky therapy

Some of us have known for as long as it’s been happening. Some knew because they were involved. Others have learned recently. Still others do not know yet.

Most of our system is now aware of our RAMCOA history, if that is what you’re asking. There are many stories as to how this came to be.

During the trauma, most were split intentionally by abusers. This has happened for as long as we could be split, and is less frequent now that we avoid the group and our family.

The internal workings of our system rely on the fragments scattered between alters. The one who knows a cue is not the one who was tortured is not the one who completes the behavior is not the one who remembers doing it. Alters were elaborated, split again, assigned a place.

Some were designed to be front-facing alters. They might have no part in programming chains, cover a chain, or have an obscure placement in their chain. These are the alters who did not know, serving as an external presentation.

There are also those who were ‘organic’ splits; they were usually created like the intentional splits, but without forethought. If they went unnoticed, they remained unassigned.

It’s hard to say where the first leaks really started. The presentations were poking around where they shouldn’t have, always so curious about our past. The unassigned meddled invisibly from the outside, interfering or watching. Some of the programmed were higher ups who were wreaking a particular kind of havoc.

We did not all find out together. Everyone has their own story of what happened as they made the discovery. Some are still stuck in their trauma or are too conditioned to see right now.

The presentations got into social media when we were around 15. I don’t know if anyone had it before then, but this is when they noticed online communities of systems and RAMCOA survivors.

This is probably how so much of the system came to know if they didn’t before; they left traces externally and others found it. There were debates about whether this was possible, programs set off to create amnesia or doubt or shatter anyone stepping too close.

We spent a year of forgetting and remembering our own DID symptoms, but eventually failed to realize. Months later, a friend disclosed their own DID. Another few months of research. We went back to a place we had been trafficked out of and finally had a co-conscience switch.

We gathered a notebook with every possibility of what it could have been and took it back to the PHP we had attended before the trip. That therapist took the notebook for a week and gave it back, said to proceed as planned regardless.

That notebook is nearly out of pages now. We took it to our regular therapist, he sent us to a new therapist, they were gentle enough to get someone to admit it. That process took another few months.

This therapist was a trauma and unreality specialist, had worked with systems before us. More of us made their own disclosures about their pasts, eventually leading up to an acknowledgment of having been trafficked and programmed.

That was about a year ago. We have since been deprogramming. There were triggers throughout the time leading up to this, some resulting in suicide attempts and self-harm. We have not yet rid ourselves of callbacks, and are prone to reaccess.

We are somewhat able to dispel new programming, especially when trauma is old or not as awful as tortures used previously. It is difficult to remain socially active enough that we cannot be taken for the time needed to inflict worse.

Does that answer your question? We are willing to speak on some programs and troubles throughout this journey, but not so much as to put ourselves at risk. Feel free to clarify or ask something else.

#ramcoa #tw ramcoa #tw tbmc #did osdd #osddid #dissociative identity disorder #did system #traumagenic system #polyfragmented system #cdd system

[sublime-beyond-loss]

Having listened to most of the narrator’s lines in Dungeons 2 and 3 over the last few days, the Dungeons narrator really is the TSP narrator Doing His Thing, just in a different game series. 

I’ve decided to make it my headcanon that the Dungeons-verse is where he fucks off to during the skip button/epilogue/whenever the player stops playing TSP. Dude’s clearly living his best life narrating the Dungeons games. Everyone is a morally dubious asshole in these games and there are no true good guys, so his more cruel streak shown in some of the endings in TSP is right at home in this verse, and even then he still throws the player bones using his powers over the narrative just as much as he likes to fuck them over. He clearly starts developing a softer side for the ‘evil’ faction by the end of 3 too.

One of the more surreal aspects about going from TSP to this is that in Dungeons 3 he starts to regularly converse with at least one character in the game, which given some of the things Ultra Deluxe puts out there about him, it’s weirdly cathartic to see this lonely bastard finally making some friends who can talk back to him and that he can bounce off of and get into endless snark wars with lol. Yeah, it’s probably not actually canon to the TSP narrator, but if you try to put some continuity between the two series, it really does feel like the bastard goes through the found family trope and some character development by the end of Dungeons 3. A weird, horribly messed up family, of course, but at least he’s taking his omniscient narrative powers out on people who more than deserve it now lol.

Probably the weirdest thing a few of his lines imply in Dungeons is that there might actually be an entire narrator species out there, and boy if that isn’t a scary thought lmao. 

There’s also some nice meta irony to be had in the fact that he might very well be narrating the games for Stanley while not knowing that he is doing so, if the player is one who has already played the role of Stanley before. Especially since he becomes the voice for the voiceless Ultimate Evil protagonist (antagonist) of the game on multiple occasions since it (yes, that’s its pronouns if you’re looking for a game where you are called by those pronouns the entire time) cannot speak for itself. 

And I mean, there’s something really nice about the idea that if you consider this the TSP narrator, that upon leaving the room after being repeatedly skipped by the player (if that’s what happened), or giving up on his game and its sequel after it bombed (if that is what the epilogue is implying), or even when it comes to the existential stuff about him knowing he’s a fictional being who only exists while being perceived by the player and thus the game being turned off by the player cannot be a good thing for him, that him finding himself narrating a series of games where the plot is more goofy than anything and everyone is laughably evil, thus the stakes are much lower, and that he suddenly has other characters to bounce off of and alleviate some of his existential dread. It feels like a surprisingly good bookend for a character like him. While he doesn’t know it, if the player is someone who played TSP before, he’s still narrating a game for Stanley, and in the end, while he has no way of knowing this, the player didn’t abandon him as thoroughly as he thought, if the skip button shenanigans are to be taken into account. 

He starts narrating in a much less oppressive and frustrating setting for him once he has let go of the parable, and he can even interact with the player in an ever so slightly more co-operative manner once he no longer knows it’s Stanley he’s still gaming with lol. I think this is the closest thing to a happy ending you could get for the TSP narrator. Now he narrates for a world where everyone needs a therapist as badly as he does so it all evens out for a change lol. Here we were all sad about the epilogue when it turns out the narrator just went off to narrate Dungeons instead lol. (It’s canon in my heart)

#the stanley parable #dungeons #the narrator cinematic universe

[cumbunnywitch]

Body Positivity isn't just a mindset for other people, but a journey of self-acceptance too. Like, yes, obviously, bullying or harassing or whatever someone because they're fat or hairy or they don't meet some arbitrary definition of attractiveness is a really shitty thing to do.

But, it's also about learning to accept yourself for how you look. A lot of body-pos stuff really is taking a good long look at yourself and understanding if maybe some of the feelings you have towards the people you used to look down on were, in fact, internalized things. And I'll be honest, I needed to do this myself. I was not always the relatively nice but mouthy woman you know me as.

I don't talk about this a lot but I used to be really dang skinny. Like, very underweight. When I was 19, I weight 115 pounds at 5'6, and almost none of that was fat(I was a jock(and a boy, at the time)), and so I had a lot of exercise, and none of the massive amounts of food I ate went anywhere near my waistline or butt.

A few years later, I would weigh 150, sedentary from a job mostly sitting around answering calls all day, no gym membership to speak of. I gained weight really quick, actually. And then latent anorexia hit. I started getting worried, after a few months of this. I wasn't really sure why, but it turns out a lot of that was also dysmorphia and dysphoria kicking in from the Gender Questions I was asking myself and also trying to hide. A few years after transitioning though, I hit 187, and that feeling of being too fat was a gnawing anxiety. (un)Fortunately, my self-soothing for anxiety was overeating, so you can see where I fell into a vicious cycle of trying to lose weight desperately and the anxious need to eat to numb-out the stress of life, dysphoria, and being an adult.

At one point, I killed my desire to eat almost entirely, and went on a crash diet. Keto, plus low calorie, plus serving size restriction. I worked out for an hour a day, feeling like I was going to pass out the entire time. It wasn't healthy. I kept that up for almost 2 months, and went from around 185 to 165. I am not incredibly large, nor am I obese, but some part of myself needed me to hit arbitrary numbers.

At some point, I finally recognized that this wasn't healthy, and I was only feeling worse. I allowed myself a burger, and visited a therapist. I don't have full-blown anorexia, but a big part of what was causing my issues were internalized and arbitrary standards that not only conflicted with the way I wanted to treat other people, but with a healthy lifestyle.

Do I still want to lose weight? Yea. Have I found a healthier mindset and, arguably more importantly, a healthier reason? Also yes. I accept my body for what it looks like. I accept that my eating habits are not "the problem" or that I need to be thin.

I have killed the part of me that wants to be thin-as-string and I'm learning to accept that the journey to losing weight isn't about numbers and goals and forcing myself into unwinnable regiments of working out until I physically cannot stand and eating just enough to wake up the next day.

I wanna wear a dress I bought when I first started transitioning. I was already getting bigger, and it very nearly fits. When I suck in my tummy, I look fantastic in it. Thats it. That's my goal. No numbers, no waistline measurements. And I'm gonna take my fuckin' time doing it, because it's my body, and good food is worth enjoying if it takes another week or two.

I don't feel frustrated about my weight or my body anymore. I'm comfortable in my skin, and I've learned to examine my thoughts when I'm feeling gross. I'm getting better. I love myself.

I'm not trying to say anything here, either. This is just my personal journey. If you learn something from it, then great.

#trans #body posititivity

[olivyh]

TWST CHARA HCS P.1

Warning: Angsty parts!! Body insecurity, poverty, death, mentions of abuse

Also a little out of universe stuff- I know most ppl develop their UM later in life, but i think it would be fun if it happened when they were younger.

as always, feel free to add your own headcannons! i always love to see your guys’ thoughts and the way other ppl see the characters!!!!

Heartslabyul:

Riddle:

-Has a hard time with physical affection since he grew up in a dangerous household, touching people can make him uncomfortable. Unless someone’s very close to him, expect them to be pushed away when they try to touch him

-He mourns his childhood after watching movies and reading books about kids living their lives and hearing what his classmates did when they were kids.

-He thinks of the hedgehogs as his children, and will talk and vent to them when he has a hard day

-He used to dress as the queen of hearts when his mother wasn’t looking, and would parade around their mansion. It was the most fun he was able to have

-He cherishes the time he was able to spend with Trey and Chenya, and often tries to will himself to remembering more about what they did, even if it ended in him making up stuff

-His rules are how he shows his love, and he often finds that he makes up nonsensical ones to keep his friends safe (ex: ADeuce planning to mix energy drinks to pull all nighters and study/ He makes up a rule about how many cans you can have in the kitchen at a time)

-He’s only been caught once, by Cater googling the rules and seeing that they don’t exist

-His voice gets really high pitched when he gets upset

-The first time he used his unique magic was accidentally on Chenya, he just brought it up to his mother later and acted like it was the first time

-It took the three of them hours to get the poor cat out of the collar

-They still laugh about it

-Hes insanely picky about his tea

-He also likes to brew his own different teas! He enjoys the different combinations of plants

-sneezes like a grown man

-Cannot do chores to save his life. Since hes from a wealthy family, i think theyd just hire ppl to do things for them. Hes never had to do things that werent studying before

-Also cannot dress himself. He tries, but he either looks like a mess or an old man. good thing cater knows how to dress well!

-loves, loves, LOVES sleepovers with his dormmates. even if he does seem miserable, he enjoys feeling like a normal teenager

-terrible balance. i will not elaborate.

Trey:

-He genuinely thinks his dad jokes are funny

-He feels somewhat trapped in the bakery, even though his parents told him he can get whatever job he’d like. He thinks it’s his responsibility to take over the family business

-He’s a hardcore enabler when it comes to his siblings as well

-Genuinely thinks of Heartslabyul as his younger brothers, often overfeeding them in the same way grandmothers would when you go over their house

-He gets very happy seeing people enjoy the things he makes

-A telltale sign when he gets excited is when he bounces on his feet and rocks back and forth very subtly, only a handful of people noticed it

-Is a huge fantasy geek, and used to read all kinds of series and play all sorts of games where he’d pretend to be the hero

-Cater joins him in these games when they have the time

-Feels incredibly guilty over letting Riddle get to the point of overblotting, and he beats himself up over it

-He lost a lot of sleep during that time, and Cater had to intervene and tell him to take care of himself

-Speaking of, he doesn’t take very good care of himself. He often spends so much time worrying about others that he forgets that he has to keep himself alive too

-The therapist of Heartslabyul, everyone goes to him for advice

-First time he used his unique magic was baking with his dad and he accidentally made the cookies taste rotten. He got so upset that he wished he could change the taste and when his father went to take a bite, they were surprisingly good. Trey knew he used the wrong ingredients, so how did they taste good? Turns out the cookies were bad, his father got sick, and he realized that it was his UM

Cater:

-Really good at cooking if he’s given the right tools

-Struggles a lot with his self image, and picks himself apart in the mirror until someone distracts him

-He uses escapism a lot, often distracting himself with trends or taking pictures so he doesn’t have time to think

-Really quiet and out of character around his family. He mentioned a few times that his sisters teased him, so I can see this as a reason for him to shut down when around his family so they don’t have anything to make fun of him over

-Sometimes he doesn’t know whether someone’s flirting with him or just being nice, which leads to a lot of issues

-Takes everything said to him to heart, whether it be good or bad

-Wants to be a professional photographer. He wants to make sure everyone feels beautiful and looks happy so they don’t go through what he did

-One of the most genuine people once out of that persona. He is also a good listener and gives the best advice

-Also gives amazing hugs

-Like mind blowingly comforting hugs

-Discovered his UM his first year. He was overwhelmed trying to paint the roses and sneezed and suddenly, three more Caters appeared. It took a while for him to get all of them to come back into one

Ace:

-He has pretty bad acne that he tries to fight off, and also has a lot of scars left over from the years of picking at them (speaking as someone who still struggles w acne after 7+ years [I had premature acne so ive been stuck with it since i was little])

-he gets very, very upset when someone points it out

-He sleep walks and sleep talks, which is a terrible combination for the residents of Heartslabyul

-Bullies people to show his affection, which is a trait inherited from his older brother. He thought them fighting a lot as kids is the reason why they’re closer when they’re older, so he applies the same logic here

-Is insanely jealous of Deuce for developing his UM before him, and often finds himself being bitter around the other boy

-His hair is actually flat, he styles it and spikes it with gel bc he thinks he makes it look cooler

-Wants piercings, is terrified of needles

-He’s good at a little bit of every sport, he just sticks to basketball because he likes it the best. His second best is baseball, and then volleyball

-Was actually hoping to get the dorm leader position when he fought Riddle, all because his older brother was one when he went to school

-He talks to his brother all the time, either between sending him death threats, memes, or whatever he needs to complain about it. His brother always tells him to shut the fuck up, which means, in their language, tell me all about it.

-Speaking of, they definitely have made up a secret language

-He felt bad about punching Riddle afterwards, but never apologized. He has to admit that he got a kick out of seeing the mark on the boys face afterwards, when they were still on rocky ground

-He genuinely cares about Yuu, and thinks about offering them to live with him after they graduate of they need time to get settled, and if they can’t find a way home. hes already had multiple conversations about it with his family

-Shockingly, a really good person to rant to- about anything, really

Deuce:

-Has a stick-n’-poke tattoo from his rebel days, absolutely refuses to show anyone

-Despite what you may think, he gave it to himself! I think it would either be something very stupid and wannabe hardcore, or something very sweet and sentimental (like something for his mom and grandma)

-Has insane eyelashes, like, you know how some guys have killer lashes genetically? its deuce. deuce is that guy.

-Thinking about what he did as a kid makes him sick, and he tries everyday to make up for what he did then

-He tries to make things for his mom since, assuming she’s a single mother bc his dads never mentioned, he knows shes busy

-He likes eggs bc they’re easy to cook and it’s the one thing hes confident enough to cook to give to his mom. Little does he know shes happy with everything he gives her

-He repairs old magical wheels! He keeps a lot of the parts in his room at home, which leaves it a cluttered mess

-He sells them too, to make a little bit of money to spoil his mother and grandmother for birthdays and holidays

-Very good at doing hair in general. Since he used to cut and dye his hair by himself, he got very good at it very quickly.

-He gets very frustrated very easily, and has to reel himself in before he lashes out

-he was the kind of kid to try to sneak in pets, anything from frogs, to snails, to a hedgehog, to a badger or a stray dog. mama spade has seen many of them be “hidden”

-He sometimes likes to sit with his mom before bed, or to have sleepovers with her. She’s his rock and makes him feel comfortable- she helps him forgive himself. When she plays with his hair while they talk or she rubs his back it reminds him of when he was a little boy and it gets him a little choked up

-He sleeps with a stuffed animal at home, he didnt bring it to NRC bc he didnt want his dormmates to think differently of him

Savanaclaw:

Leona:

-Treats Ruggie and Jack as younger siblings, and his overblot made him think of them being closer due to them seeing him at his weakest

-Likes it when people play with his hair! He finds it therapeutic, and often curses his beastmen instincts to snap at anyone who comes close to his ears

-Has a ton of tattoos aside from the one on his arm

-He does his own tattoos, often spending most of his time awake either sketching out a design or actually doing the tattoo

-After he graduates he tries to set up programs to help people in Ruggie’s situation (even though hes the second prince, hes still a prince and holds a lot of power over decisions made)

-Got his scar from an assassination attempt done when he was a child

-Has a hard time seeing out of his scarred eye

-Lost his mom in an assassination, the same one he got his scar from.

-He’s afraid of getting close to people/caring too much abt them because of it. He doesn’t want anyone to hurt them :(((

-Tries his best to talk to his dad and take care of him since he’s sick, but it makes him sad to see his father in that state so he reverts back into his I-don’t-care attitude

-Actually enjoys being around Cheka, as annoying as he finds him. Some of the innocently cute things the boy does makes him happy and wanted, and he takes pride that Cheka brags about him to the other people on campus

-He discovered his UM on accident during a fight with his brother. He slammed his fist on the wall and the whole thing disintegrated. The horrified look his brother gave him haunts him to this day

-He saw the same look on Ruggie’s face during the overblot and that day came back full force. It took a while for them to talk the same way they used to again

Ruggie:

-Has a hard time moving his arm due to the injury he got during Leona’s overblot

-When Leona almost turned him into sand it left a giant scar across his shoulder and down the side of his arm

-Constantly on guard due to his upbringing, the only ones he trusts are Leona (just close friends in general) and Jack (thinks his sense of justice would stop him from pulling anything)

-Cuts his own hair a lot of the time, which ends up in it being choppy

-One time he showed up to school with a half mullet and Leona forced him to cut it again

-Also has slightly crooked teeth/ a gap between his front teeth (I THINK ITS VV CUTE WHEN PPLS TEETH ARE LIKE THIS IF U HAVE TEETH LIKE THIS M W A H UR PERFECT)

-He also has hella freckles, being a spotted hyena

-He sits outside sometimes and talks to the stars hoping his mom can hear him. He tells her about his day, what he’s learned, who he met, etc etc

-Does little magic tricks for the kids back at home and teaches them what he’s learned as well as how to study so they can do well when they go to school

-He can come off as apathetic due to him using humor as a way to make others feel better. Sometimes it works and they feel better, but other times it makes them feel like hes making fun of them. He understands why it can make some people upset but he just wants to help :((

-Has a hard time sleeping alone in a room, since hes used to his grandma or one of the neighborhood kids sleeping next to him

-Okay so unpopular opinion and not a headcannon, but ive seen sm fanart where ruggie has brown eyes and it makes my heart MELT

-Collects little things like buttons and wire, he says that it could he used for something later but he enjoys having little things around

-kicks his feet when hes sitting on a high ledge

-crazy bastard, can and will go cliffdiving, skydiving, etc etc without being asked. he enjoys the thrill

-idly chews on things, has snapped a pen with his teeth on accident (jack mentioned that he has an insane jaw strength). Resulted in him having to wash ink out of his mouth for 20 min

-cannot stand the feeling of chalk/unglazed pottery on his nails. makes him get the icky shivers

Jack:

-Was genuinely heartbroken when he learned what Leona did when he overblotted, he looked up to him and was beginning to think of him as a brother

-Doesn’t mean to come across as intimidating and it hurts him when he notices some people be nervous around him due to his size

-He brings little things back to his siblings and takes lots of pictures. He encourages his little siblings to do their best and even helps them perfect their magic

-He first discovered his UM when he was very young, he sneezed and his hands turned into paws. It took his parents and grandparents hours to calm him down and get him to stop sobbing

-Loves it when people rely on him for his strength

-His sense of justice has led him to being taken advantage of when he was younger, and a lot of people betrayed him due to his trusting nature. It hurt him real bad and thats why he’s so reserved now

-He talks to his cacti, and named every one of them

-He brings his little siblings gifts from Night Raven every time he goes home

-Also fell victim to being put in a too-small princess costume for his little sister’s tea parties

-He does it and does not complain

-He eats an insane amount of food. With how big he is along with the fact that hes constantly working out. He never stops eating.

-Some of the beaded bracelets he wears arent savanaclaws uniform, theyre bracelets his little sister sent him!

-I feel like since wolves are pack animals, jack is a little anxious about being away from his family for as long as he is. when he comes home for breaks, he melts if his parents or grandparents give him a hug

-Fidgets a lot when hes anxious too, a cheek biter methinks

-Hates sand. Hates the feeling of it, how hot it gets, the way it sticks to everything, everything abt it

-Idk if hes ever talked abt it before but I feel like he has a hard time with the heat, white wolves are built for snow!!!!

-Sweats an insane amount, always has to put on an insane amount of deodorant before he leaves

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland headcannons #savanaclaw #ruggie bucchi #heartslabyul #deuce spade #ace trappola #trey clover #riddle rosehearts #cater diamond #leona kingscholar #jack howl

[craycraybluejay]

Hey Anouther. I wanted to seek your guidance on some stuff because I trust you and it's something that has been bothering me for a long time. One of those things you don't speak about with anyone.

First of all, I don't think I'm a paraphile myself. I think it's a traumatic response to some stuff that happened in my childhood, OCD style stuff. It doesn't have anything to do with children or anything like that, I just wanted to clarify that it's not that type of situation.

The first instance I remember of having anything to do with this paraphilia was when I was like 7/8 years old. I have no idea of where it came from, but when I was really young I was shown porn by older people and it has led me to believe I was shown porn of that type of content and I tried to reenact it thinking it was normal, but it wasn't anything serious that harmed anyone. A second time happened when I was maybe 11, and at that time I knew it was wrong but I dipped my toe in that water and immediately went "Nope, this is wrong. I don't like this/want this" so nobody was hurt. Those are the only instances where I've done something irl.

When I was 14 I was fapping it to some fictional content that didn't have anything to do with this at all, but I stumbled across real porn of that paraphilia and that sent me into a rabbit hole of it for a while. I don't think it's the porn itself that excited me, but rather the fact that it was prohibited, and I know that because I've been able to replace that feeling with healthy alternatives and I don't really wish to go back to that type of porn anymore. I think I fell into those habits because I was lonely and traumatized.

I've been clean for months, if not years, because the last time I checked that type of content was to see if I was still attracted to it and it make me deeply disgusted. I remember feeling like shit everytime the post nut clarity hit me when I was still stuck in that situation. Nowadays I feel nothing but genuine disgust to the thought of people actually perpetrating those actions in real life, which is why I think I'm not a paraphile myself, and I don't recall ever finding the specific subjects of the attraction of this paraphilia attractive despite of what I told you I did in my childhood.

My point is that I feel like a bad person despite having left those habits behind. Am I a bad person??? Like you, I don't believe that thought crime is real and I believe actual paraphiles deserve respect as long as they don't act on their urges in real life since thoughts are harmless, but knowing that I tried to do what I did when I was young and that I've seen real content of certain stuff makes me sick to my core.

I like to believe, like I said at the beginning, that it was a response to trauma. Again, nobody got hurt from the times I almost did something irl, and I say almost because the things I did were more of a pre- of doing actual things. I promise I would never hurt anything in real life, and if anything, the fact that I shyed away from doing anything before I actually did is what really tells me and secures me that I wouldn't.

Am I a bad person???? If I haven't done it again and never will????

Hey anon, it warms my heart that you are trusting me for guidance on this, and I hope you're feeling okay right now. Quick disclaimer that I am not a therapist and while I am happy to help and to listen I cannot claim to offer professional advice. Every paragraph is a response to each paragraph above in order.

Let's get into it. It is not unheard of for trauma and mental illness to mimic other mental illnesses or sexual fixations that one doesn't necessarily have outside of its traumatic connection. It happens, and it is a normal and healthy brain's way of trying to make sense of and make good out of a not so normal and not so healthy situation. Without the defense mechanisms that make up trauma, human brains would struggle even more. It is not your fault for experiencing a trauma response in this way and I believe you when you say it is not a paraphilic attraction.

It is also relatively common for someone exposed to sexual content at too early an age (generally pre-puberty) to try to re-enact it. The other common response is fear, my therapist told me at one point that prepubescent people exposed to a visual depiction of sex read it as violence. An understandable reaction considering the appearance of the act itself without knowing anything else about it. It is a really unfortunate situation to be in and can absolutely cause trauma even if its something relatively benign like accidentally catching your parents doing the deed.

It's also understandable to compulsively feel drawn to things that are "not allowed" or "taboo." Humans in general are wired to want things they shouldn't, and because sexuality is a very "exciting" thing it connects pretty easily to other "exciting" (adrenaline-inducing) things both positive and negative. The rush you get from skydiving is not so different from the rush you get from touching someone you are attracted to for the first time. Some people, particularly those with a predisposition to compulsive brain activity or understimulation, are more thrill-seeking which can result in more intense, sometimes dangerous experiences if not kept in check.

I know what that's like. Shame and guilt are unfortunately common with sex; and it can be a lot worse when the subject of your current focus is taboo. The excitement of it spawns from the cultural shame and the shame spawns from the excitement. It's a vicious cycle.

I want to make a small nitpick here. There are a lot of anti-contact paraphiles that are also very much disgusted/angry about people who commit acts of sexual abuse. While I believe you when you say that you are not a paraphile, this is not a good point.

You are not a bad person. You answered your own question here a little; thought crimes are not real. I understand feeling guilty of "almost doing" something but it is again not the same as actually doing something. I cannot count the amount of times I almost did something stupid; anecdotally, someone touched me and on instinct I almost punched them in the face. Without the lucky moment of hesitation I probably would've beat the crap out of them. But I didn't. No action, no crime, and nothing to torture oneself over. I do hope you can feel better, and I think it can be helpful to discuss this guilt in depth with a therapist who you've established trust with.

You do not need to reassure me or anyone that you didn't hurt anyone; you already said it. You are fine. I believe you.

You are not a bad person for having thoughts. You are not a bad person for having gotten off to something that would be unethical irl (although the ethics of actual abusive pornography are a little more complicated in that sense. there is a major difference between the exploitation of an actual living thing and something someone wrote or drew.) <- regardless, you were a small child reacting to trauma. is it great if the scenario in the parenthesis is the case? no. but it holds less weight when you remember your situation at the time. you are not a bad person for having trauma. I hope my response was somewhat helpful and that your day gets better and you stop worrying.

#anon response #long post #tw trauma #tw sa #bit of comfort for the weary #tw csa implied

[the-mira-life-project-mtf]

Gender Reassignment Surgery Finally Scheduled!

It has been almost 17 months since the last time that I visited the OHSU clinic in Portland Oregon to see if I was a candidate for GRS.

There have been many times that my hope had fallen through. Days when I wondered if something outside of my control had ruined my plans to finally feel ‘complete’.

To compound the mental pain during the process, my experience with OHSU has been somewhat ‘complicated’. I am used to medical departments keeping their patients up to date...however, this is just a fantasy that I strongly urge others to avoid.

First off, let me say that my encounter with Dr. Dy, at OHSU was a pleasant experience. Unlike other physicians who only see the physical treatment and outcome, I was greatly appreciative that Dr. Dy also took into consideration my emotions and feelings regarding this sensitive topic that I would rarely speak in public.

It was because of my trust in her, her medical background, and willingness to understand ‘my own’ situation that I committed my care at OHSU. As for the urology department, my experience wasn’t all too great. Hopefully this will change in the following appointments.

One topic that I wish to cover in this blog post is:

Do not be afraid to reach out!

I have reached out three times to OHSU regarding my surgery status, and each time, I have received a different response.

I left OHSU in January 2022 knowing that the surgery would most possibly not occur that calendar year, thanks to COVID. Dr. Dy mentioned in clinic that due to the virus, their patients were backed up. She gave a timeline of ten months upwards to a year.

Yet, as time went on, I never heard a word regarding the status of my surgery. I would check the Portal monthly to see if any messages were sent, but as always, there was nothing to report.

By August of 2022, I finally reached out to the clinic and asked for an update. I was given the timeframe of January 2023 to May 2023 to hear a response for surgery scheduling (but not the offical surgery date).

Yet, by May 1st of 2023, I had yet to hear from them.

So, I sent another message after talking to my PCP and therapist regarding my communication with OHSU. I had expected a prompt reply within 3 days as the Portal promises, yet something ‘anxiety-producing’ had happened that I wish to discuss:

The Portal allows you to see if your messages have been opened, and by May 2nd, my message had been marked as ‘Seen’. Yet, day after day, I recieved no reply from the department of urology.

By May 3rd, I expected to finally have my reply so that I could make plans for the future: like lodging, psychology papers for surgery, saving money, arranging caregivers, and preparing my family to live without me at home

Yet once again, no reply came.

May 4th & 5th, I began to wonder if the clinic was trying to receive an answer to my question...so I gave them the benefit of the doubt.

May 6th & 7th was the weekend, so I did not expect any reply from OHSU. But I was almost certain that a decent person would at least say something by Monday, May 8th.

During the weekend, I wondered what was the reason as to why no one wrote a reply. I came up with many thoughts at night that made me worry and despair. Thoughts like: ‘Are they angry with me?’ | ‘Am I no longer a patient?’ | ‘Did I send the message to the wrong person?’ | ‘Is this something to do with my insurance?’ | ‘Maybe this is a sign that I should not be having surgery!’

By May 8th, my reply had never come.

I began to think that maybe this was a universal sign that I should not be having this surgery after all. And I began wondering if I should wait for an eternity, or look elsewhere for surgery and begin the whole process all over again.

That night, I thought of sending a reminder message to the department: ‘Maybe they forgot?’ Yet, if they cannot answer a simple question regarding scheduling and paperwork...then is it a really good idea to entrust my future care with their department? Especially if I have an urgent question in post-op!

‘Well, the last message did say ‘at the end of Spring’, and Spring officially is over on June 21st. Maybe I should just be patient?”

May 9th -- like before, I waited for a reply -- but no reply came.

Today, my mother brought up my ‘lack’ of swimming and I told her that the last time I went to swim at the YMCA, I had a terrible experience that has kept me away from the pool for almost one year.

Without GRS, my life has been in a painful standstill.

I cannot use any public restroom or locker room because of my strict morals. Everyone is different, but my morals prevent me from using a women’s restroom if I still have a penis. This is because I would never want to encounter a man in a women’s restroom...even if that individual is a transwoman who hasn’t undergone GRS.

I can no longer use a male’s restroom or locker room...because I now ‘appear’ too much as a female. Not to mention that this would create a terrible experience of abuse and even possible sexual harassment.

Even without GRS, I cannot face going to the ER for emergencies due to a bad experience in 2019 when I had to reveal that I was transgender. Even my time in the ocean had suffered because of fear of getting wet and things revealing too much...it is a painful existence!

With a long drive to Bainbridge Island, I had plenty of time to think of my next move. I sent a second message to OHSU...but instead of placing blame...I apologized and asked once more.

I honestly did not expect anything to come out of it.

Around 3:10PST I finally recieved a reply from OHSU. In communications with Mr. Skelton who asked if I would like to have surgery on July 12th 2023 with Dr. Dy being my attending physician.

I was thrilled!

I quickly checked my calandar to see that surgery will be a week after my vacation. Perfect timing!

So, with one step closer to finalizing my new life as a female...I can only dream of returning back to the pool to swim! Play in the ocean and clam dig! Not be afraid to use the restroom when I really need it. No fear in violating my morals bathing amongst other women in onsen and locker rooms.

I can finally focus on my health instead of jeopardizing it. Even possibly enter a relationship without having a panic attack.

For most of my life, I felt neither male or female...but both at the same time. I can only wonder how my future will change after this surgery...for the best and for the worse.

Only time will tell; though the path will be long.

#gender transformation #transgender #gender #surgery #change #gender reassignment #transformation #restroom #trans #MtF trans #mtf #SRS #GRS #gender reassignment surgery #OHSU #Oregon health

[lovegoldz]

rya samson 〄 19, hillman university sophomore

a real, true, city girl, rya is the definition of 'if i gotta ask somebody else to do it, imma just do it'. born in san myshuno, rya immediately entered the foster care system. she didn't have any relatives to take her in, so, she bounced from home to home, never really having someone to call mom or dad. she returned to the system at 9, and stayed in it until she graduated high school at 18. while in the system, she kept her focus on the books (and occasionally girls), so that she could go to school on something close enough to a full-ride.

currently majoring in veterinary medicine, rya hopes to open her own vet clinic or emergency hospital. while staying at lennox's house over the summer, she was able to intern at the emergency vet in brindleton bay. throughout her entire time in the foster home, there was a dog she lived in that always gravitated towards her; when he passed away, she vowed to make sure that the next generation of animals she encountered were given just as much love and care. her freshman year she danced for the basketball dance team, but decided to stop to focus on school for the next semester since she has a myriad of labs she needs to get through.

she had an immediate liking to lennox, after finding out that they were each other's roommates that had been scouring social media to find. they'd met at orientation, and have been inseparable ever since; which, speaking of lennox, after alex found out about her upbringing, he unofficially, officially adopted rya. he is on her emergency contacts, he's who she called when she went cross country from brindleton bay to del sol valley and got a flat tire, and he's who helps feed her (and lennox) when their funds are running low at school. she met taylor and sage through lennox, but does have her own separate group of friends from them -- even though she spends most of her time with them.

〄 she is a virgo, and will not let you forget it. 〄 she is right handed. 〄 she loves girls who loves girls; duh. 〄 she has two nicknames; ry and rye bread, given to her by alex. 〄 everyone calls her the animal whisperer, since she makes friends with every animal she's introduced herself to. 〄 because she doesn't have any parents, she calls herself 'little orphan annie', much to the dismay of literally everyone around her. 〄 she loves the color pink, even though you will see her wear a lot of black. 〄 she is the only one out of the friend group who sees a therapist on a consistent basis. 〄 she wants to continue dancing, but doesn't know how to balance it with all her classes. 〄 she is usually very hard on the outside and some tend to think she is very stuck up, but when they fully get to know her, they find that she is very sweet and easy to get along with. 〄 she and lennox call each other official-unofficial sisters; to the point where alex is thinking of buying a new house so that rya doesn't have to sleep in the same bed as lennox anymore when they come home for break. 〄 she has a 'do it yourself' mentality; rya believes very little things are impossible, and to not rely on someone else to do it for you, when you can just do it yourself. 〄 she cannot cook and please don't let her convince you that she can.

#!rush #my stuff #character posters are my favorite things in the world to do lol #it's literally the wattpad in me that never left #ts4 #the sims 4 #simblr #black simblr #my other baby girl #i have a very deep soft spot for rya...like that's my lil baby girl #the sims #she has a slight self discovery moment this season #trust me i already have season 2 planned out as well