#they get. so close. to healing.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Bare skin, bare feelings.

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#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #lan wangji #wei wuxian #blood #Imagine coming off as homophobic to your crush so bad he weaponizes a strip tease against you. #LWJ is just having a storm of bad emotions. His tummy hurt real bad and he was just trying to be brave about it! #WWX is just trying to be a good bro and heal his friendcrush. It worked but not for the reasons he thinks it did. #LWJ's shyness is also hilarious here considering they have bathed together before. Literally nothing there he hasn't seen before. #Granted it was a few years back and before he was left to stew in his feelings. #LWJ is more focused on his pride than being responsible and reasonable (getting is wounds treated). #His arc really is about accepting that he can't be perfect. That there is importance in being honest and vulnerable. #The tragedy is that he realizes this way too late. #Pride is the worst sin because it destroys your ability to protect anything other than the smallest crown in the world. #When everyone is gone and you are left alone - was it worth it to feel safe and protected from showing your flaws? #Control over oneself is in conflict with connection to others. You cannot pick both. #Hanguang-jun appears to us as a 'perfect guy' but the truth is that he is the version of LWJ who is done with *needing* that validation. #And this time - He can properly reach out to those he wants to be close with.

[kittensouls]

#naruto #kakashi #haruno sakura #uchiha sasuke #uzumaki naruto #zabuza #ri says kakashi was like #should i teach my tiny minions more than one skill? nah i'm sure they have self preservation all on their own. #and she's right #anyway i stopped using naruto as second monitor content temporarily bc i'm at sasuke retrieval and i don't wanna get to shippuden #feral rat genin hours ONLY #draw a thing #ok actually also i forgot how close sasuke actually came to like accepting his comrades and kakashi like he was actually conflicted #before orochimaru's team came for him #like he was so close to choosing to heal and let love into his stupid little heart #i forgot!!!!!

[steddieas-shegoes]

cw: mentions of scarring, canon-typical violence, flashback (not graphic), minor body horror (again, not graphic, mostly just emotional feelings about scars)

♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️

Everyone gave him weird looks when they walked in, quickly schooling their features when they noticed he was awake and watching them.

He didn’t know exactly what that was about.

They had him on a lot of good drugs.

But eventually he got weaned off them, and he noticed the pull of bandages on his side, and his arm, and his neck, and his face.

He was still unable to get out of bed. Still couldn’t even reach his arms above his chest for more than a few seconds.

But he damn sure reached up to feel the cloth and plastic surrounding his cheek. How had he not noticed for days? How had no one bothered him about it?

Maybe they had and he just didn’t notice. The morphine was one hell of a drug.

Wayne was soft, patient with him. Saw him touching it, saw the way his eyes filled with tears. He’d never been particularly vain, hadn’t cared much about what he looked like to others, but this felt bigger than that. This felt like he was changed in a way that everyone could see.

Add it to the list of things people could bully him for.

He cried himself to sleep, Wayne’s hand in his, silently comforting in the way he’d always done.

When he woke up again the next morning, he was alone.

It was the first time he’d been alone since the boathouse.

He could swear he heard bats outside his door, screams coming from the attached bathroom, flashes of someone dying on the ceiling.

He felt the sharp sting of teeth puncturing his skin.

He felt hopelessness creep into his bones as he gave in.

Maybe this time they would finish the job.

“Eddie!”

Steve Harrington’s voice broke through the thoughts, panicked enough to bring Eddie back to his hospital bed within a second of hearing it.

“Shit, are you okay?” He continued, hand brushing against Eddie’s bandaged cheek.

Eddie nodded once, closed his eyes, leaned into the touch.

He could blame it on any number of things if Steve felt weird about it. The morphine, the flashback, the loneliness.

“You’re okay, Eddie. I promise. Won’t let anything happen to you,” Steve whispered.

Eddie believed him.

He fell back asleep with Steve’s hand gently cupping the mangled side of his face.

If Steve could still touch him there, then maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️

Steve came by every day, sometimes in the early morning, before visiting hours officially started, sometimes well after Wayne had left to get some sleep. He always smiled when he walked in, a genuine one, not the one everyone else gave that was so fully of pity and pain he couldn’t bear to make eye contact. He sat down on the side of the bed, not the chair like everyone else, not scared to be close.

And every single day, without fail, he would run his finger along the edge of Eddie’s bandage on his face, watching his own movements and cataloging any changes.

Eddie sat quietly, still, scared to put words to anything happening. Scared to tell Steve what it meant to him to have someone acknowledge his pain in this way. Scared to think Steve could mean anything by it.

It was easy to pretend Steve was doing this because he cared.

Maybe he did care.

But he didn’t care the way Eddie wanted him to, needed him to.

So he stayed quiet, still.

He watched.

He fell asleep while Steve talked about his day, the kids, what Joyce made Hopper do around the house.

He woke up alone most days, but that was okay, because Steve would be there eventually.

♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️

“You ready to get that thing off?” Wayne asked, gesturing to the bandage.

“Oh. Today?” Eddie suddenly didn’t want to ever be without the bandage. Removing it meant he’d see what was under it.

It meant seeing how much that place had ruined him.

The pull of the stitches hadn’t been as obvious with the pull of the bandage masking it.

But now it’s all he felt.

The nurse smiled at him as she put some antibiotic cream over the area, saying he would probably still have to keep it extra clean for the next week or so while the stitches did their job.

Wayne smiled at him in the way that meant he didn’t really want to smile at all, but knew Eddie needed him to.

Steve didn’t come.

Eddie didn’t sleep.

♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️

He woke up with panic in his chest and a silent scream in his throat.

He woke up with Steve’s hand on his face.

Gentle, soft, but a strong comfort.

“Promise I washed them first. They said we have to be careful about germs,” Steve said quietly.

“You don’t have to. I know it’s…it’s gross. It’s ugly. I’m ugly.”

Steve shook his head. “No. Not gross. Not ugly. Alive.”

“Steve-“

“You’re alive, Eddie. You could have your entire face held together by staples and you would still be a miracle. You’d still be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

Well, Steve’s charm wasn’t an exaggeration, was it?

He wasn’t even sure if the skin barely pulled together could blush anymore, or if the heat that should be on his cheek was burning on the outside the way it felt like it was on the inside.

“It’s gonna be awful when it heals. I saw it in the mirror.” Eddie could feel every stitch in his jaw, the few that spread across the corner of his mouth and bottom lip, the ones that were nearly up to his ear. “I’ll always have a crooked face. The scar will always be huge. It’s all anyone will see.”

“Then they aren’t looking.”

Eddie bit his lip, eyes searching Steve’s. “But you are.”

“No. I’m seeing. There’s a difference. I see you. I see what you’ve survived. I see the mark it left on you. I know it wasn’t just the scars that cover your skin.” Steve leaned his head down, touching Eddie’s forehead with his own. “We all have them. And we’re all still here. Your heart’s beating. That’s all that matters to me.”

“Who knew you were so good with words?” Eddie smiled sadly.

“Robin says I’m just good at not having a filter.”

“She’s right as always.” Eddie wrapped his fingers around Steve’s wrist, turning as slowly as he could to kiss his palm. “You’re not scared of it.”

“No. Are you?”

“I’m scared that you’ll change your mind when it’s always there as a reminder of what happened.”

Steve kissed his nose, making him smile for the first time in what felt like years.

“I’ll have the reminder that I got you out of there. That no matter what, the bats couldn’t finish the job. That you were stronger and you made it.” Steve let his hand drop, but quickly laced his fingers with Eddie’s. “I know it’s a lot to ask of you to trust me, but will you? For today?”

“Just today?”

“I’ll ask again tomorrow.”

“And what? Every day after that?”

Steve smirked.

His eyes were glistening with tears, but Eddie could tell it wasn’t sadness or fear.

“If that’s what I have to do.”

They hadn’t even talked about feelings, not really. Nothing that made any sense to Eddie, nothing that they could define. A part of Eddie was still convinced he was in a coma and dreaming this entire conversation up.

But even the nurse had noticed the way Steve watched him, how he touched him, how he fought for him. She said he’d been a firecracker from the moment he carried him into the hospital, dripping blood on the tile, staining the halls with his demands for help.

Wayne said he barely left his side the first day, only doing so when the doctors had told him they would call the cops if he didn’t.

Erica even noticed how things had changed between them, stating that she refused to watch her babysitter and the only DM she had respect for make out.

But Steve held Eddie, made him feel like he could get out of the hospital bed and live a life that wouldn’t keep him running. Steve was there.

Steve might even love him. If not now, then some day.

And Eddie could trust him today.

He could probably trust him tomorrow.

“Kiss me?” Eddie probably shouldn’t. The stitches tugged when he talked, and another mouth anywhere near his wounds was just asking for an infection.

But Steve would be careful. He knew what Eddie could handle.

It was barely a kiss. A graze of the lips at most.

But it was the best kiss Eddie had ever had.

At least until tomorrow.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #drabble #yall I am having thoughts about Eddie with a very large face scar and it led to this #I know people have drawn stuff before but I’m #I mean like what I am thinking is from his bottom lip across his entire jaw #to his ear and then down his neck #and it’s not remotely even or straight #very jagged when it heals because they weren’t really aiming for stitching it straight they just wanted to get it closed #also a firm believer that Steve has no filter at all and is SO GOOD at romantic declarations because of it #like he doesn’t edit anything #if he loves you you’ll know because he says I love you in all words except those at first #anyways wrote this during dessert for my besties birthday dinner so #not checking for typos hope there aren’t any lmao #if my phone autocorrected she’s probably wrong

[lolottes]

Danny walked the streets of Gotham

he was hungry.

His steps were slow and I was still in pain, but under his abdominal bandages his wounds were much better.

but he was hungry.

he did not know since when he was in town.

he was hungry.

He didn't know what time it was, but an alarm sounded.

He was hungry.

but it wasn't the noise that woke him up, no, there was… a smell? no, it wasn't caught by his nose, but it made him salivate.

he was hungry.

His gums itched while his teeth took on a ghostly shape despite his human body.

he was hungry.

The smell, for lack of a better term, led him to the center of noise and bright light.

he was hungry.

as he mingled with a tense crowd he began to "see" his target even with his eyes closed. good thing because he was hungry. and his eyes must have glowed in response behind his eyelids.

he was so hungry.

the crowd seemed more than willing to let him pass as he approached his target's voice, it was so loud, it must have been speaking into a megaphone or microphone.

he was hungry, but not for long…

jokers: hoooo, we have a brave volunteer~

His food came down from its perch, probably the roof of a car. it was moving towards him, holding something out with confidence

jokers handing a microphone to Danny: a few words from our volunteer?

Danny: …I'm hungry…

His food seemed destabilized, but he continued to move closer, finally opening his eyes, seeing the reflection of their light in those of his food who had a little reflex of unnecessary recoil. One last big step and he was almost chest to chest.

The crowd didn't really know what they were looking at, the child stretched out his arm towards the jokers chest then when he pulled him back with some gently luminous light in his hands, the jokers collapsed to the ground like a puppet whose string have been cut off. Even before the jokers had finished falling, the child put the light in his mouth and a cracking sound echoed through the shocking crowd.

Danny sighed in relief, not satisfaction because it was one of the worst things he had ever eaten. But he feels SO MUCH BETTER now!

he wasn't hungry anymore

… For now

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dc x dp #dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #dc x dp crossover #danny fenton #joker #ghost/ecto hunger #hurt danny #feral danny #survival instinct #Danny in need of ecto: healing burns his reserves much faster than he can produce them on his own and he has not finished healing #brain fog because of starvation and pain #jokers is getting too close from where danny was resting #the jokers died and came back so many times that he had a core / proto core #danny crunched him in a daze #an altered state of thought #technically the jokers is not dead his body is (almost) in perfect condition #danny did this in front of witnesses but he citizens have no idea what was happening #the thugs saw the child have dazzling eyes then bite something with non-human teeth weird then the light in his eyes went #yes danny could have attacked jason if he had entered danny's sphere of perception #even if jason would have immediately moved away rather than approaching with confidence like the joker in front of this child with a strang #for the moment Danny has eaten enough in any case #he is going to return to his hiding place to “hybernate” and heal #danny is still not fully awake he is acting like a sleepwalker #my #prompt #my prompts

[mad-c1oud]

thinking about the Charlie's birthday stream. not the ending, no, we think about that too much. no I think about everything else:

the happiness, the joy, the warmth of it all for nearly two full hours

the lack of mob spawns that night because it’s Charlie's birthday and he has eggs with him. how intentional it is. how funny it is and how sad it makes me because its so considerate

thinking about Tallulah by Charlie's side the whole time, diligently leading him from item to item as his little "guardian angel". Charlie trying to be a good tio and falling a little short sometimes, accidentally leaving Tallulah behind when she crashes but still trying cause that’s his sobrina. how she has to actually hit him to get his attention and how bad she must feel but it's so fucking funny each time

(how can anyone blame him when he never gets to hang out with the eggs enough to know he should wait for her? Charlie had Juanaflippa for what- 10 days? and was practically shunned by several others and himself from interacting with other eggs after his action, which is understandable, but only for so long. can they not see how he plays with the eggs? hear how soft his voice gets around them? don't the other islanders understand?)

this is maybe the longest he's gotten to hang out with tallulah since he got his backpack. Wilbur is his best friend and this was the egg he left behind. He's still learning and Tallulah still loves him despite it. Two people missing someone dearly, yet they have each other even if it's hard to realize

thinking about "Maybe Tallulah, you were the gift. I think you're the gift, Tallulah."

thinking about Richas, his nephew because Charlie has Mike, an actual brother that is equally excited to see him time and time again. A nephew coming around with the slime head and slime balls, like a mini Charlie, who is decked out in a full ghillie suit. Charlie who plays with the egg, pretending to be a spooky monster and richas playing along and getting scared

thinking about Charlie not knowing how to use the ghillie suit properly so he's still clearly visible to the eggs, yet they act like he isn't for his sake. shepherding him around from place to place because charlie is a little clueless yeah (he's in exile, go easy on him), but they are patient and happy to "tag along" and let him lead

thinking about them all taking a picture with him in the school, charlie wanting one with both of them, something to remember the day by.

thinking about how charlie is clearly loved by the eggs, his huevos, and how he clearly loves them back and is trying to be better for them even if he struggles so much

thinking about Charlie Slimecicle on his birthday, for once happy after everything he's been through, Tallulah and Richarlyson by his side

just him, his sobrina, and his nephew on a little scavenger hunt under the stars while the rest of the server remains quiet and calm. asleep while they remain lively

just them

happy

#slimecicle #qsmp #qsmp tallulah #qsmp richarlyson #qsmp slimecicle #i am soooooooooooo normal about charlie and the eggs #let him be HAPPY PLEASE #it kills me time and time again how #the eggs clearly love him #but charlie doesn't love himself #i'm chewing on drywall over this #why did it have to end like it did #we were so close to having all the focus on Charlie and tallulah and richas for a couple of days #of charlie beginning to HEAL #even if just a little #all of his time with lullah and richas gets overshadowed by codeflippa and i hate it truly im sorry but i do #sorry this just bugs me to no end and it's why i started writing again in the first place #mad ramblings #ALSO THINKING ABOUT BAD LETTING HIM 'BABYSIT' WHILE HE STEPPED AWAY #GOD I MISS HIM INTERACTING WITH THE EGGS #LET HIM HAVE A FUN NO STAKES LITTLE MISSION WITH ALL OF THEM PLEASE NO ANGST #TALLULAH #THE ONLY PERSON TO GO OUT OF HER WAY TO GIVE CHARLIE A BIRTHDAY GIFT OF HER OWN VOLITION #THAT MAY HAVE DISAPPEARED WHEN THEY REMODELED HIS HOME FOR CHARLIES REAL 'GIFT' I HATE YOUUUUUUUU

[journal-from-the-heart]

i think, for trauma survivors, especially those who were emotionally abused, invalidated, or gaslit, it is really important not to underestimate the significance of speaking bluntly about what happened to you. Forcing yourself not to beat around the bush, not to downplay what you went through with your words. say what happened, without any caveats, without any “but it could’ve been worse”, “but i might just be being overdramatic”, “but it wasn’t really THAT bad,” and so forth. sit with the discomfort until you can begin to let yourself realize that it WAS that bad, you WERENT being overdramatic, and even if it could’ve been worse you still didn’t deserve it. It’s almost like a form of reclamation, taking back your memories, taking back your life, even the difficult or gross parts, and refusing to let anyone change the narrative or tell you how you should feel anymore, even yourself. and it hurts and it’s scary and it feels weird and awkward and sometimes you want to convince yourself you’re lying, but i think sitting in those weird feelings and letting yourself admit that you really did go through trauma puts the power back in your hands to process things and be compassionate to yourself while you heal

#like. recently i’ve been reflecting a lot on this trauma i have with this absolutely godawful english teacher i had in grade 7 #he was an absolute creep and even though he never touched me i knew he touched other girls and made even creepier comments to them #than he did to me. and i never really had time to fully understand the gravity of the damage he did to me because i was #so focused on the fact that it could’ve been worse and he never even actually touched me or got that close to me save a few times #but yesterday as i was reflecting on this i finally got myself to admit. i was terrified of him and i was terrified for every fucking minute #that i spent in that class. and i was a child who never should’ve had to deal with that and it’s clear that i still have a lot of problems #from that whole event. and the more times i repeat that and get myself to understand it. the more i’m able to be compassionate to myself now #and patient with myself in the things i struggle with as a result of what happened #childhood trauma #trauma #cptsd healing #cptsd recovery #cptsdawareness #trauma survivor #trauma recovery

[raayllum]

me remembering that rayla has only apologized for the way that she left and not that she left

#to be clear this is Affectionate it just hits different sometimes #tdp rayla #raylangst #like this dumb bitch #SHE'S SO CLOSE TO GETTING THE POINT #memes #mine #heal me s6. heal me

[roomy-ghosted]

My feelings towards ao3 this morning.

#baldurs gate 3 #astarion #bg3 astarion #like-i get it. but- #please. please for the love of god. just fluff or non-sexual fics. #for five seconds. #please. #I can only handle so much corn. especially when it's almost all geared just towards women. #this is all /lh i dont actually care all that much- but there comes a point where theres too much and all a man wants to do #is hold another man close. or go on perfume dates or pottery lessons with another man. #small things to help healing or gentle things or silly playful things. #hell- even taking care of all the spawn with Astarion in the bad ending- #why are all the bad ending fics ive seen corn btw? I've seen like- zero non-corn ones. #i get it. I get the vibe. but like- also. consider. like- maybe I wanna read angst with. with no corn?? please? #I've got 4 unposted fluffy fics im working on. One being hurt-comfort with some extra hurt #which i had to stop writing for a bit today because it was hurting a bit TOO much. #but yea. a little less corn for Astarion? for those who aren't horndogs? please? or just don't wanna fuck him because they #dont wanna hurt him more- (im not at the point in game where he's comfy with sex again yet-) #BESIDES GALE IN THE WAVEMOTHER ROBES IS RIGHT THERE PEOPLE- #LIKE COME ON. IF YOU'RE GONNA SEXUALISE A MAN HE'S RIGHT THERE WITH HIS PUPPY DOG EYES AN HAIRY CHEST. #There needs to be more sexualisation of Gale. NO I don't take no for an answer (Astarion is still my favourite though-)

[hatsunevitu]

for some reason i enjoy so much the idea of kyle actually genuinely liking cartman’s appearance. like, he would never admit it – especially to cartman – but somehow eric really is a perfect match for kyle’s preferences.

therefore he can’t possibly stand the idea of cartman changing his appearance to become more “beautiful” in other people’s opinions, because kyle likes him the way he already is — and kyle already is sure cartman is beautiful.

so eeeevery time cartman has even a tiniest thought of losing weight, kyle makes sure he will change his mind.

cartman: I don’t know, man, maybe I really should lose weight… I mean, I’m hot as hell right now, but imagine all those girls who will go completely insane when they see me all skinny and sexy?

kyle: Gross. I don’t want to even think about it.

cartman: Are you jealous, Kyle? Or are you just envious ‘cuz I get more females’ attention being big-boned than you do with your thin ass?

kyle: Don’t you flatter yourself, Fatass. When was the last time a girl looked at you without a terror on her face?

cartman: Oh, shut up, Jew! You’re just afraid you’ll look even uglier next to me.

kyle: So you’re going on a diet, right?

cartman: Right!

kyle: Okay, good luck with this. …Oh, wait, isn’t this a KFC restaurant right there? And, wow, look: I have fifteen bucks right here! Damn, that’s just perfect for a double portion of chicken...

cartman: No… you sneaky little…

kyle: Huh? What’re you saying? I didn’t quite catch it. Do you wanna join me, Cartman?

cartman: …I hate you so much, Kyle. You’re going to burn in hell for forever. More than that: I will turn your life to hell myself–

kyle: So you’re going or not?

cartman: …Yes.

ALSO yes he’d support cartman’s decision to lose weight for himself but he just hates the idea of cartman changing his body just for social standards. and i just want at least one person to completely adore cartman’s looks and compliment him and i think kyle’d be the one to do so. once he get over his embarrassment, he’ll start telling nice things to cartman once in a while and cartman who is absolutely not used to genuine praise will be so. fucking. happy. every time.

#also i hc that kyle absolutely not understand the concept of ‘beautiful’ and ‘ugly’ when it comes to peoples appearance #and idk THIS WOULD BE SO HEALING AND COMFORTING FOR CARTMAN #i love them and i love how they can absolutely adore and admire each other but will never admit it openly #(on the other hand cartman is absolutely in love with kyle’s hair like he can play with it and look at it for HOURS) #he thinks kyle’s haircolor fits kyle’s personality very well #i have a really big soft spot for this dynamic when both secretly admire each other #btw i srsly hope it doesn’t sound fatphobic /gen i was only trying to write close-to-canon dialogue ;( #also when they start dating kyle will totally go feral when he hears anyone call cartman ‘fatass’ #its his special petname for his bf u dont get it #south park #sp #eric cartman #kyle broflovski #kyman #sp kyman #kyman headcanon #sp cartman #sp kyle

[mrsthunderkin]

When your arch nemesis is your ex-best friend and also your brother-in-law, you have to show you care as noncaringly as possible because you still wanna be cool.

Hyram appreciates Errol's approach to concern

#Errol Desoto #Hyram Kincaid #sorcerer #dark sorcerer #storm sorcerer #i just REALLY wanted to design some padded leather armor for them #Hyram married Errol's wife's twin which is HILLARIOUS in the story #but also Hyram is the one who blew off Errol's arm #And Errol is very guarded about his hand and his wand around Hyram #So him getting it so close to him is a HUGE representation of their damaged relationship healing #Hyram is letting Errol heal at his own pace because by this point he's already forgiven and accepted Errol as he was by this point #i just have a lot of feelings about these boys being hest friends to enemies back to bestfriends/family SOB #tales of alor #tablet doodle

[hamable]

Aelwyn and Adaine benign sibling mockery my beloved

#fantasy high junior year #fhjy #adaine abernant #fantasy high #aelwyn abernant #dimension 20 #I love them and their relationship and interactions so much #the closeness and respect and boundaries of two siblings that grew apart and then found each other again and can now gab about trauma #it’s unparalleled #and Brennan and Siobhan do it SO WELL #I say boundaries as in like. knowing they can press each others buttons and rag on each other #but also Adaine can come over at 1 am with some ice cream from work and they can gossip over bad reality tv #and god the lunch break convo from the previous episode #their bond is so strong and so real to me #to grow up in a bad home situation and even have been enemies at one point #to hauling the other off to lunch and gossiping ravenously #and aelwyn needing to heal at her own pace and getting emotional over the cats and Adaine balancing empathy and ribbing just right #I’m rambling incoherently but #no one does it like them

[morzowo]

so one character got to learn how to live again, how to reenter society after traumatizing event that will forever impact his life, got to heal and rebuild his relationship with his family even estranged father, reconnected with his old friends and was able to create reliable support system of people that also grew throughout this healing process and now can understand him more and be there for him, got to graduate and start his own business and now can even give inspirational speeches to help others

and the other one had to leave two closest people to him that were his only support after his family death bc 'friends' he had before weren't type of people worth reconnecting with, move out of his country abandoning everything he knew his whole life just to * checks notes * start a job he didn't really want and the main reason he needed higher pay was to establish financial stability for one of two people who he had to leave and that no longer wanted to be with him

okay yea okay sure both cases are about personal 'growth'

#last twilight #to clarify it's more about time skip and the talk at the end of part 2 bc yea ofc mhok also changed throughout whole series in general #the fact that 'growth' for mhok was equal to getting a job just doesn't sit well with me #his sister killed herself bc of their financial problems and then they put sole responsibility on him for providing for himself and day #and it felt like it was about more than just day's disability #like ironically his mechanic friend offered more support and understanding than most of the other characters #what kind of 'growth' is uprooting yourself and leaving everyone behind when you are still in vulnerable state and need someone to rely on #it would make sense in other story with other character but here it just hurts #i do have some other problems with the series as a whole but nothing that wasn't said already #everyone is angry at part 4 but end of part 2 was the breaking point for me #moving out for work is extremely lonely and alienating experience especially when it's not even to a country you particularly care about #what is the lesson here with mhok's plot line? #to completely isolate yourself to heal from your trauma somehow without anyone close to you? #and oh yea job being the most important thing for 'personal growth' actually? #in hotel in hawaii nonetheless... #i'm getting so tired of these series not being able to stick the landing fr

[lord-squiggletits]

Speaking of Tyrest. A lot of people forget that he treated Pharma with absolute disdain, not only using him as a test subject for a clearly painful mass murder machine, but talking to Pharma like he saw him as nothing but some henchman to order around that was nothing more than a 'diseased cripple' if Tyrest hadn't come to rescue him.

Like it really is an interesting background dynamic with some curious implications, but when you look at fandom posts from around that issue/the years after, for some reason people just saw "Pharma worked with Tyrest" and concluded Pharma is a card carrying bigot ksjfnskxkd. Like yeah Pharma didn't do anything to stop Tyrest but it seems his main beef with the Autobots was with Ratchet in particular and maybe a general disdain for his ex-comrades. As well as continuing to hate Decepticons which like, not even the "good Autobots" are immune to (even in Pharma's introduction, First Aid says in his journal something like "yeah we all hate Decepticons, but Pharma REALLY hates them"). And despite what fandom likes to construe there's really no evidence in IDW1 that Autobots and Decepticons are different "races" or "types" of Cybertronians, so Pharma hating Decepticons really isn't a bigotry/robot racism thing. And instead probably has something to do with, idk, the 4 million year long galaxy-spanning blood feud war, or maybe being blackmailed and tortured into insanity by the Biggest and Most Decepticon-y of Decepticons.

Tyrest treated Pharma like trash, the other Decepticons working for Tyrest (how come no one ever brings that up btw) also hated him, so if anything it seems that Pharma was more of a rogue element only staying with Tyrest bc he was his best option and probably had no way to even escape.

I'm glad that at least in recent years the fandom has acquired a keen reading eye and good taste to finally recognize Pharma as the (accidentally) complex character he is instead of making him some posh, racist Starscream clone SHSJDGSGDH

#squiggposting #pharma apologism #yeah i'm apologisting again i guess my mental health is somewhat okay again dkdkkxckkddkd #(my followers seeing me post about pharma) nature is healing #there's also that line where pharma says 'maybe i can help' and skids is like #'fuck off and hope we don't beat you to death after this is over' #they didnt know that pharma was a test subject of the killswitch but wow #that's prolly one of the most out of pocket moments of the story that ive never seen anyone mention #honestly that moment is why i think JRO didnt intend pharma to be That Deep #i feel like that sort of 'not even other autobots like him' treatment is something #that comes up a lot in JRO's villain writing. or like asshole behavior towards some characters #is just plot events proceeding as usual. nothing to see just villains getting their due #tho tbh pharma's character in general suffers from the problem that he's so closely related to a main/major characyer #that it wouldve made way more sense for him to be written in earlier #so all his connections w/ ratchet and the plot had to be established retroactively #also speaking of 'asshole behavior excused bc it's towards a villain' #all those times when people are like (fucking amazing piece of medical research by pharma) #'then he started murdering his patients. what a piece of shit' #like idk it could have been intentional but imo all my readings of pharma were not really intended by JRO #and i'm fully just headcanoning and constructing theories on my own #like pharma was simply not important enough or a major enough character to get fleshed ojt #so basically we get enough pieces of him to establish continuity and a general timeline of his life and thats all

[ssreeder]

my favorite thing to do you ask? reading the updates while completely ignoring the fact that the fic is ending soon 🧍🏾‍♀️

My current mood trying to finish liab:

#I swear every chapter I’m like OK ANOTHER 20k CLOSER TO THE END #But the healing arc is taking FORVER #Because there are so many THINGS that have to happen #So I feel like I’m crawling through this part #But after the battle starts things should progress quickly after that #Yall know how intense those chapters can get #Phew. Gunna be a mess #BUT YOURE RIGHT IT IS GETTING SO CLOSE TO BEING FINISHED!!!! #It is kind of daunting to think about not having to write liab #It’s torturing me right now so im missing some of the sentimental feelings right now #But im sure ill look back and think AWWWWWWW I MISS IT #but right now i wanna slap jet & sokka and grab zuko back the back of the neck and tell him to STAY. #Anywayyyyy…. Next chapter is going great obviously #TWO CONFIDENT THUMBS UP #You’re amazing I miss you #I hope everything goes great!! #Gabbytril4mg #LIAB #leaving it all behind #ask

[tending-the-hearth]

god i'm thinking about how "the stolen chariot" takes place post-"titan's curse" and how that's a turning point for percy and clarisse's relationship, and how clarisse probably saw straight through percy's facade and saw exactly how he was treated during that time at camp and how sad and lonely he probably was because grover was tripping over himself around the hunters and chiron was so focused on thalia and annabeth was gone

and that leads me into thinking about the head counselors again and how maybe, in their own ways, they gave percy little things to show their support. moments of help, little gifts.

silena sitting in the pegasus stables with percy, holding onto his arm and being a big sister presence to him. not talking, just being there for him, giving him some semblence of stability

beckendorf dragging percy off to test new weapons he made in the arena, turning it into a game that had a smile spreading over percy's face for the first time in days

travis and connor sneaking coke and candy into camp for their honorary brother, leaving it in the poseidon cabin with little cards that had the corniest jokes written on them

clarisse spars with percy more, pulling him to the arena when she sees the stormy look in his eyes, when he can't think about anything else but how frustrated he is

lee pulls percy into the medical tent to test his healing abilities with water, because it's been an obsession for the apollo cabin since percy arrived, and he can't help but make percy laugh with his eagerness

castor and pollux convince their father to let up on percy, just a little bit, to let him have a looser curfew, letting him sit out by the lake for as long as he needs, sometimes sitting with him in the quiet

katie leaving little plants in the poseidon cabin, little succulents and flowers that are easy to care for, something small that makes percy's eyes light up every time he gets a new one, and he lines the windows of the cabin with them

malcolm, bless him, is so aware of his sister and percy's crushes on each other, and takes it upon himself to make sure that his sister's best friend doesn't waste away, and he's the one who makes sure percy eats and sleeps and stays healthy.

and clarisse will deny it until the day she dies, but percy knows that she's the one setting everything up. it was her suggestion, though the other counselors know they'll get fried if they say anything.

and he doesn't say anything, not until after "the stolen chariot", when he and clarisse are sitting down for a burger, and he brings it up quietly. and clarisse just huffs and rolls her eyes, and percy's heart warms so much at the fact that, despite the winter being the worst one of his life, he was surrounded by people who loved him and supported him.

(annabeth definitely gives hugs to all the head counselors when malcolm tells her, because they kept her seaweed brain going)

#i also have a hc that percy and pollux are super close #percy's promise to dionysus made me think abt them becoming good friends #more percy and clarisse sibling content bc of course #PERCY AND CHARLIE SAW EACH OTHER AS SIBLINGS YOUR HONOR #i think post-last olympian thalia sees percy and clarisse #and she probably had this idea of the big three kids being able to be close and be a family #but because of how things went down during tc #there's just a layer of tension that never really healed #so seeing percy and clarisse goofing around and acting like actual siblings #there's a slight pang of jealousy #whether it's due to the fact that she'll never get a close familial relationship with percy #or the fact that percy and clarisse remind her of her and jason #who knows #percy jackson and the olympians #percy jackson #clarisse la rue #annabeth chase #silena beauregard #charlie beckendorf #travis stoll #connor stoll #lee fletcher #katie gardner

[melveres]

I am five seconds away from creating Help Wanted posters for the Devourer fight in the Catacombs DONE AND DUSTED NEVER AGAIN

#w101 #wizard101 #literally spent 4-5 hours doing it yesterday night with a friend and two random players #one of them was the hitter and the other a life wiz who Refused to heal #my fire wiz friend was the other hitter and i got delegated to being healer and boost dealer… despite being a storm w 5k health #also fun fact! this is one of those fights where you need to stay alive by the end of it for it to count as done <33 #we found out the hard way <33 #the storm hitter and the life wiz (who spammed bad juju and nothing else.) got their quests done and ditched us #so. if anyones a healer and Willing to go through that fight then that would be much appreciated #pretty sure its the last dungeon in the catacombs too… so close to being done w that questline QQ #we did our best it should of counteddd <//333 #matter of fact i will DRAW ur wizzy in full-colour if u r willing to help us get the quest done (fr this time) /srs #(​i am fr abt the art btw)