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hangesdarling · 2 months

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Idea! Hange who finds out her rival in the scouts is actually just a massive bottom

rivals, right? — h. zoë

PAIRING. Hange Zoë x female reader SYNOPSIS. You and your rival Hange were forced to sleep in one tent for an expedition. CONTENT. 18+, MDNI, nipple sucking, fingering, oral sex, a bit slow burn WORD COUNT. 2.1k A/N. sorry anon i missed the part where they're scouts :") they're both section commanders on this one though. hope that's alright!

"I'm not sleeping with you," you groaned, the irritation sharp enough to cut through the night.

"You make it sound weird when we're just sleeping in one tent," Hange said with an amused laugh, padding up the tent floor with a few blankets so it wouldn't be too rocky to lie down on.

So annoying, you might be thinking. Hange always acts coy, teasing even as if your constant clash and rivalry were an amusement of some sort. Years of training and expeditions, even as scouts, Hange always managed to be linked with you. Both were labeled the smartest, both became section commanders at the same time, and both were considered respectable researchers. Your titles always one up with the other, a tight competition you never seemed to have an agreement on.

"Ugh, why is it always with you?" You mumbled behind the notebook you're scribbling on. It was loud enough to reach Hange's ears.

"Sorry, dear. Every tent is occupied," they said simply. Hange placed two makeshift pillows, peeking over the tent as if waiting for you to come inside. You glanced in their direction but turned away almost instantly.

"I'll be out here for a while," you muttered, focused on scribbling on your notes. Hange looked over your shoulder in curiosity, crawling beside you.

"Observations, huh?" Hange remarked, pushing their glasses up so their eyes could follow your scribbles.

You blushed at being observed, quickly hiding the notes you were writing.

"Nah, just listing why my research is more relevant than yours," you saved yourself from awkwardness, pulling a smug smile.

Hange laughed, tilting their head almost mockingly. "That's kinda pathetic, don't you think?"

"Heh, not when I get those two titans for my experiment," you replied, lips curling into a smirk.

Ah, so damn stubborn, Hange thought. They shook their head lightly, still amused by how you managed to pull this stubborn behavior with them for years. You're typically kind and soft-spoken with other scouts, an authority to be respected, not feared. But Hange finds it almost ridiculous when you both act like bickering children around each other.

"Would it kill you to share a titan with me? Besides, Erwin said we only get to capture one titan each."

"Out of all people, you should know that won't be enough," you replied. The situation you're both in just hardens your stubbornness. How could humanity thrive and gain knowledge when research is always limited? Tight budget, the shitty authority; Survey Corps never seems to run out of problems.

"Well, we have to work with our limited resources, you know," Hange explained. "We're not supported enough in terms of this. Our supplies are insufficient. That's probably why we're sharing a tent."

"I'll do something about that," you mumbled like a steadfast promise. "Just go to sleep for now."

Hange looks at you for a while, perhaps in admiration or judgment. But in any way, they see the reflection of their resolve.

"You should sleep too. It would be a long day tomorrow. Good night, Y/N."

Do something about it, huh? Hange slept with that curious thought, wondering what risky method would you try to pull in the next few days.

---

Being outside the walls stopped feeling new after your tenth or fifteenth expedition. As a scout, you always have some sort of fear just from the countless tales of unsuccessful expeditions and a tower of dead bodies after one.

But now, you managed to expertly map through the routes outside just from memory. Where titans roam the least or the best view to watch over their behavior.

You were sitting atop a branch of a large tree, binoculars in hand, and planning where to stage the capture. Your mind went through the manpower and equipment sent with you outside, wincing at the fact that the capture could be dangerous. Hange managed to develop a catching net some months ago, ensuring a safe capture. However, with the tight route and a precarious amount of titan, you doubt that this capture would be entirely safe.

From another tree, Hange was watching titans, observing how slow they usually walk without bait. They are focusing. Supposedly.

But now and then, their binoculars would travel over where you sat, the lenses perfectly capturing your distress at the current conundrum.

No sooner, you felt another presence at the tree—Hange's familiar footsteps, careful to reach you on that wide branch.

"You're worrying about the route, isn't it?" you heard them whisper behind you as you lowered your own binoculars.

"Not just that," you sighed defeatedly, head on your hands. "I was thinking that two titans really wouldn't be enough for us even if we shared."

You handed Hange your notebook much to their surprise. They flipped over the pages, gaining an understanding of your concerns. Your desired experiment might be ambitious and idealistic but it would be helpful if you succeeded. But with resources so limited and countless lives to take into consideration, how would you able to do this?

Hange sat beside you, still thumbing over some pages. Even if you're turning your face away, Hange could tell you were trying hard not to tear up from the frustration and possibility of loss. This was important for you after all. They've watched you study, observe, and create all of these for over a year.

They placed a hand on your shoulder, squeezing it lightly before saying, "We could do something about this, you know that. Come with me."

----

"Why do you always kick your blanket off when you sleep?" Hange asked curiously one night in the tent.

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you do! I had to tuck it beneath your feet at least three times last night," Hange argued.

"My, don't bother with it..." You brushed it off, turning away from them to hide your face. You tried to trace back since when Hange Zoë's relationship with you became so casual, almost friendly. If your mind wanders far enough, you might consider something else happening. Affection, maybe. But you shrugged all those thoughts off, reminding yourself that the plan you agreed on was purely for science and the advancement of humanity.

"But you're weak to coldness," Hange continued, covering you in several layers of blanket, ignoring the pout on your lips. They had a grin on their face when they said, "Don't want my research partner getting sick, do I?"

"We're not research partners," you frowned.

"Eh, why not? I just told you my whole plan and you agreed with it."

"Doesn't mean we're partners from now on."

"God, you're one stubborn lady," Hange chuckled, a sigh escaping their lips. They pulled their blankets over them, slowly dozing off. Outside, the night was filled with the gentle chirps of crickets, chorusing at one point. Even with such proximity, you could feel Hange's warmth, their gentle breathing only conveyed that they must also be awake.

---

The next morning, you and Hange's plan set into motion, traps were located strategically in a different route. Both of you were taking full liability for what would happen in the days to come, informing the soldiers about the need to capture four titans to sufficiently conduct the research. It wasn't the safest plan, some were hesitant but many trusted your scheme since all of you share a common goal.

You commander your unit, imparting knowledge of the best actions to take. But for the remaining hours, your eyes remained on your notebook, pretending to check details to reach the optimum result. However, Hange knew you had an entirely different reason. Maybe to interact less with them, afraid they would bring up how you two ended up tangled in each other's arms last night.

---

"I'm just letting you know that won't happen again," you said flatly, eyes boring upwards through the tent as you lay down.

Hange turned their head to you, their lips forming into a subtle smirk once more. "What is?"

"Um, last night..." you said in a low voice.

"Ah, you mean when you're hugging me so tightly?" Hange asked smugly.

You bit your lip, trying to save yourself from this. "I was asleep. Not responsible for my actions, but forgive me for disturbing your sleep."

Much to your surprise, Hange hovered over you, their deep brown eyes glinting almost knowingly against the dark space inside. The atmosphere thickened, your heart ramming louder than the sounds of night.

"No need to apologize for anything, sweetheart," they whispered, their eyes following your lips the way your eyes do for them. In that heated moment, all that you've both held in flooded out like a dam breaking and gushing to spill over. Hange placed a firm hand on your shoulder, keeping you pinned on the blankets as their lips met yours. It was a firm kiss, your lips nearly melting into each other's. Your hands traveled on Hange's hair where you tug and pull them closer. Hange sat you up in their lap, gaining better access of your neck and chest. Their hands snaked under your clothes as they ask for permission to go further each time to which you only nod.

"If you want to have me so bad, you shouldn't have spent years being annoying," you muttered into the kiss.

"Says the one who wouldn't let go of me last night," Hange smirked, a thumb circling your clothed breasts. "Besides, you should've picked up on it early on. You're so smart after all."

"You know, you look more attractive when you shut up," you muttered as you fell on top of Hange. Their flushed face look at you expectantly, expecting you would dominate this whole ordeal. After all, they saw you in that dominant, commanding light after years of leadership.

But Hange noticed how flustered you were just from being on top of them. Your thighs kept straddled on their lap, your hands resting on their shoulder, not knowing where to hold on. Hange smirked, taking it as a sign to flip you over once more. Their breath was warm against your ear as they whispered, "It's okay, Y/N. Let me do it for you."

Hange locked your lips in a kiss once more, bundling your shirt on your chest. Their lips slithered from your lips down to your throat, reaching the trail between your breasts. They kept one firm hand on your wrist as their tongue gently circled one of your nipples, sucking their lips on the hardened bud.

Hange covered your mouth before you let out high-pitched noises from the sensation.

"Shhhh... You don't want your subordinates to hear you, right?" They smiled against the darkness.

The night was slow and heated as you let Hange do wonders with their mouth and fingers, always managing to draw out a soundless moan from you. Your lips could only part, your hands clenching around their body. They were amused to see you follow along and nod with their wishes, so compliant with their charm.

Hange had the button of your blouse open, your breasts spilling out into their face and the warm flesh of your stomach open for their wet kisses.

"You know," Hange began, drawing their fingers in and out of you at a teasingly, slow pace. "I didn't expect this much submission from you."

"Shut up, Hange..." you breathed out, a hand over your eyes as you were beginning to write against their fingers. Hange held down your hip, tugging your pants a bit more so they could have more access to you.

"As you wish, m'lady," Hange placed a kiss on your clit before gently lapping up the warm wetness gathering on your slit.

Hange kept on until the faint light of dawn slitted through your tent. You forgot just how much stamina they had to draw one orgasm after another from you. They only stopped when you've whined and writhed enough under them, pleading for a break. Hange fixed up your clothes, smoothed out your hair, and drew the blanket over you again as if nothing happened. Their wet lips kissed you once more as they said, "You still have a few hours to sleep. Sleep tight, sweetheart."

---

The capture will take place during the afternoon. The equipment was set, and the soldiers were preparing their ODM gear for however long the capture may last.

The scouts passed by, even some of your friends, noticing the slight shift of the atmosphere but couldn't quite put it into words. Maybe this time their section commanders weren't bickering as usual. They went with that fresh start in high spirits, brushing off their suspicions whenever they saw Hange place an arm around your waist or whisper something to make you laugh or blush. Your unit didn't think much of it, even attributing it as a minor hallucination or a ripple in the universe. There's no way their section commanders are getting affectionate.

After all, you're rivals, right?

likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated, sweethearts <3

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transmutationisms · 10 months

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I was reading your porn addiction post, and I just wondering what you consider addiction if not some sort of disease? I also think porn addiction and stuff in that vein is fake but I also can’t think that addiction is just people choosing to be that way even though they hate it. I say this as someone who was actually addicted to substances like I feel like there was something going on there that can’t be explained by the idea that addicts just choose to be like that. (I don’t think you think addicts just choose to be like that I just don’t really know any alternative schools of thought lol) I don’t mean this in an accusatory way I’m sorry if it comes off that way, I am genuinely curious what you think cause your posts are always so enlightening.

first of all you have to keep in mind that 'addiction' has no singular meaning. even if we confine ourselves to talking about psychoactive substances, 'addiction' can range from the 'classic' case of increasing, compulsive, self-destructive use, to cases where a person's usage may actually be stable in the long term but they're chemically dependent on the substance (think: the way doctors talk about chronic pain patients who are dependent on opioid painkillers; then compare to how they talk about psychiatric patients who are dependent on SSRIs. for example). you can get dx'd with a 'substance use disorder' purely on the basis of how much you take/consume, even if you don't feel it's causing impairment in your life, particularly if you let slip that someone else in your life has expressed concern or tried to stop you. race and class contribute to distinctions here as well, where certain people have leeway to be seen (even in a psychiatric setting!) as 'experimenting' with substances, or using them 'recreationally', where the same usage pattern in a person who's otherwise marginalised might be flagged as 'addictive' and in need of intervention. all of this gets even messier when psychiatrists and physicians try to justify applying discourses of 'addiction' to eating, gambling, sex, social media, and so forth. recall that 'addiction' in the roman republic and middle ages had contested legal and augural meanings that could be positive as well as negative, and that by the seventeenth century it was largely used as a reflexive verb with a predominantly positive meaning—as in, "we sincerely addict ourselves to almighty god" (thomas fuller, 1655) or, of plato, "he addicted himself to the discipline of pythagoras" (thomas hearne, 1698). it was not until the twentieth century that "addict" came to be widely used as a noun defining people who were passively suffering on a medical model.

i don't mean to be evasive here but to point out that asking "how do we define addiction besides a disease model?" presumes already that the disease model is the singular and inescapable way of understanding addiction in the first place—this is not true historically or presently. addiction is a muddled concept and has always involved moral discourses; attempts to present it as a 'pure' or 'objective' medico-scientific judgment are in fact recent and still unstable.

to the extent that it is useful to talk about addiction as a disease—that is, as a state of suffering that is imposed upon the sufferer, that is a disruption of a desired state of health and well-being—i think it is critical to keep in mind that such a disease is social as much as biological. you can start here by pointing out that substance use is often precipitated by the necessity of withstanding miserable life conditions (ranging from extreme poverty, domestic abuse, social marginalisation, &c, to the 'standard', inherently alienating and miserable conditions anyone endures in capitalist society). but there are other social factors that contribute to the presentation of substance use as compulsive, escalating, and self-endangering. eg, lack of a safe, steady supply is a huge factor here! when people are forced to rely on inconsistent, unregulated supplies to get high, this contributes greatly to drug 'binge' behaviours and endangers users. there is also the fact that drug users are often already marginalised (esp along lines of race, class, ability, &c) and are then further marginalised on the basis of being drug users. what would substance use look like in a society where using didn't relegate people to the social margins, or render them socially disposable? what if people had social supports, and weren't forced to toil away their entire lives at jobs that make them miserable for pay that's barely enough to live on? what sorts of patterns of substance use would we see then? so then, is it the drugs themselves that are the problem here, purely neurobiologically? or is there a larger story to tell about how people come to exist in such a state where substance use is increasingly hard for them to engage in with safeguards; where being a substance user causes them to lose whatever degree of social connection and support they may have had, which was often insufficient already; where they are often unable to integrate substance use into a full and connected life because they are told they must either give up enjoyment of a substance entirely, or be continually branded 'relapsing', 'non-compliant', 'dangerous', &c &c.....?

at the end of the day i don't think it's helpful or accurate to talk about addiction as a disease because it decontextualises drug use from all of these factors: why people do it, why it becomes harmful for some, why it's assumed we must simply 'stop' and 'resist' in order to 'get better'. disease explanations blame the substances themselves on a reductive bio-mechanical level (& again, this becomes especially untenable philosophically when we think at all about 'behavioural addictions'). the point here isn't to say that addicts are just blithely waltzing into addiction—or, indeed, to say that drug use is intrinsically a bad thing that should be avoided! it's a pretty typical feature of human existence that many of us enjoy consuming substances that alter our mental and physical states, and that's not inherently bad. when i push back against a disease model of addiction, i'm not invoking a model of personal responsibility or individual choice. i'm asking how we can understand drug use within a much broader social and historically contextualised frame, and how that can help people who are in many different states wrt drugs, from 'currently engaging in patterns of usage that feel compulsive and terrible' to 'never done a drug in their life'.

#drugs

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asstrolo · 2 years

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𝒮𝒶𝓉𝓊𝓇𝓃 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒟𝑒𝓁𝒶𝓎𝓈.

Saturn delays things.

(this post was made according to my own personal opinion and personal experience with people that have some of these placements, what i say here is not all set in stone and can vary from person to person, it's for entertainment purposes only!)

Saturn is the Father, and also The Devil in Tarot. He is meant to teach hard-to-take valuable lessons and has a firm hand in realism. What must be done, and, if not accomplished in a certain time, He will meet a person with even more hard lessons until they learn, mature and accomplish what is meant for them. Saturn is also very well-known for delaying or complicating something if the person is not ready, or hasn't gone through enough lessons to understand what is that they truly want and what they truly need; and how to get it. In this next post you should look for your house placement, as Saturn is a generational planet, many people will have the same sign, but not the same house placement, which is way more important when it comes to Saturn!

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : 🪐 ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ 🪐 : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Saturn in 1st house: Saturn here is quite not what it seems, a person with this placement deals with unwanted advice about their appearance practically all their lives. It's really hard for them to accept more masculine or feminine parts of themselves and they are always thinking about how they are seen by people, if they look intimidating or approachable, these people call a lot the attention thanks to their body, even if they don't intend to, they can appear thin or taller and they might have dark hair even if they're blonde or redhead. It's important for them to look a certain way as it's probable that they develop a little later than their peers and they have a hard time accepting their own appearance as "normal", they tend to try and change their looks to be more digestible or more correct, they have a hard time dealing with, either the softest parts of themselves or the darkest parts of their personality, in these people's lives there was always a person commenting on their choices and judging them, so they in turn try to look perfect enough to not encourage any commentary at all. The delay you will be facing until your late twenties is your lack of autonomy on your own body, learn to have a relationship with yourself and your body and try to understand what is it that you like, how would you like to look, your appearance and how you decide to present yourself, something that has always been difficult to express thanks to, maybe strict parents or judgmental parents, it's important that you learn to rely on your own judgment when it comes to your own life.

Saturn in 2nd house: Saturn here talks about, you guessed it, finances and comfortability, people with this placement have a really hard time getting comfortable, finding a place where they can just let loose as they might be needed at all times by a lot of people, or they just don't feel like they can ever rest. These people might have a hard time with finances as they can't save money or live the day to day, it always seems like there are things to get paid and what's more important; they can't or don't know how to take care of themselves, these are the type of people you always see working and never having days off, of course it can vary and not everyone is the same, but they tend to not know how to balance work/finances and commodities/time for self, they could've been around very irresponsible people that always needed somebody else to take care of them, they can be over materialistic to a fault as they might be this way for traumatic events where they maybe did not had too much growing up and, as they got older they were able to live life in better conditions, they don't know how to prioritize themselves or their personal space, or they over indulge in self-care and forget their duties. The delay you will be facing until your late twenties is how you lack grounding, you will be living always thinking too much on one thing and never give time to important, real issues, you probably grew up in a place that it was way too chaotic as well, and you need to balance your life and your fantasies, it's important that you don't get defensive when told something you don't like as you are prone to live in a bubble and almost no one can access it.

Saturn in 3rd house: Saturn here is very difficult when it comes to the outside, let's not forget that air houses are social houses and this placement makes a person's way of interacting with others and communicating in general very difficult, they might be ostracized and ignored when is their turn to speak, they deal with low sense of worth and their words can be too complex for people their age to understand, they have a unique way of communicating and can be misunderstood on the daily, their life might've been filled with people that are better speakers than them, they could've had siblings that they were compared to all the time and these same siblings could make them feel even more inferior, they can have periods of time where they think they are not smart enough to do anything, or they believe other people just don't understand them because they're not eloquent enough, they also failed to try and understand other people when they don't like the topic or discussion, these people are very picky and rely on their own experience, they could, even accidently, push other's away as they don't think anyone will ever understand them. The delay you will be facing until your late twenties is your difficulty to communicate your needs or interests as you feel nobody will care or listen to them, you will have to face this and speak up even if it's terrifying or you feel like you will get judged, it's important that you practice your speeches and write as this could be a kind of catharsis when you can't find the right words.

Saturn in 4th house: Saturn in here is extremely complex, not quite like having Saturn aspecting the Moon, but just as difficult as it can be, this placement opens many doors to traumatic events in childhood that will follow the person until adulthood, these people have experienced a lot of emotional distress and negligence from parents since a young age, making them the center of the house as the home could not function correctly without them. This kind of responsibility shapes the person into someone very serious when it comes to family matters, it's very probable that they have an unconventional family and it's not something they like or share much with others, this kind of experience makes them want to act as soon as a problem is presented in front of them, as they can't help but want to fix it, then turn around and think that they are the only ones to help or that they must help themselves, thus creating this weird victimhood where they feel alone doing all the job but being the one that offers help even if they weren't asked to. The delay you will be facing until your late twenties is compromising and the need to get involved in issues that aren't your own, you must learn to cater to your own needs and your own wounds before trying to help other people, it's very important for you to find yourself outside of your family too, to look for ways to help other people without it damaging you emotionally or mentally.

Saturn in 5th house: Saturn in here presents the idea of celibacy, hard lessons in love and a complicated childhood or relationship with children, however, it is the house of pleasure, and in here the person that has it has a complicated relationship with it, this person is very self-contained and tends to restrain themselves a lot when it comes to exploring themselves, their desires and sexuality, these people also tend to come from a family that doesn't allow the person to experiment or makes them feel bad/guilty for having sexual or romantic desires, they could've been the odd one out both in friend groups and with their family, not quite fitting with their beliefs but also not fitting in with the outside, on the other hand this person could've had a childhood that was very restrictive and weren't allowed to do much, so as they got older they try and experiment carelessly and it ends up in dangerous sex life, as unprotected sex or hooking up with anyone, doing things recklessly without considering consequences, but for the most part this placement talks about someone who has been forced to suppress their own desires either because of their family, their environment, or their own self-contained personality. The delay you will be facing until your late twenties is a fear of openness and of experimenting, a fear of being seen as too much for asking for things that you always wanted, as you get older you will understand that not everything you desire is wrong or bad or disgusting.

Saturn in 6th house: Saturn here is in a place of constant anxiety, people with this placement deal with a lot of negative self-talk on everything they do, this person thinks it's normal to feel extremely nervous on a daily basis, the reason for this might be that they have experienced disagreement and arguments first-hand, as people are constantly trying to correct them, making them smaller and try to shut them down, other's see them as "easy prey" and they might be right, this person will try to do everything how it's supposed to be done and might come off as stuck-up, but is only because they do not want to fail, they have a big fear of failure and feel like people are always waiting on them to be perfect at all times. These people possibly dealt with attracting the wrong attention their whole lives, meaning; they will try really hard to do something well and get so used to this, that when they fail, society won't let this slide, it's kind of weird how other's are always expecting this person to fail, since the 6th house is the house of enemies, it's no shocker if they had even adults disagreeing with them when they were kids. The delay you will be facing until your late twenties is to learn not to care what other's think of you, but even more important is to have a positive mind and accept that failure is a part of life, is important for you to learn that mistakes bring in new possibilities and that you don't need to prove anything to anyone as long as you are sure of your own abilities, you need to learn to control your negative thinking as it could affect everything else in your life, not only your work.

Saturn in 7th house: Saturn here is completely interior, despite it being in the house of marriage and partnerships, it conceptualizes the idea of learning to love oneself before loving another individual, in groups of people this person doesn't feel restrained or threatened or uncomfortable, when it's a one-on-one relationship, everything changes. This placement needs a really big push to settle down into a romantic relationship, they need mental stimulation and they need the security only a marriage can guarantee sometimes, they don't do well in sporadic relationships as they might try them out but see no fulfillment in these, they could've grown up in a place where they have a very intense relationship either with the father or the mother, where it was hard for them to trust one person to be in their side, these people are often asked to be married at a young age as they seem to have everything figured out by their twenties, but it's all just a façade as they have no clue how they feel about anything they are experiencing, they need to sit down and think about their emotions towards people all the time, so they can understand them. Yes, people feel instantly drawn to them, and in turns, this person will give them a cold shoulder, not because they're mean but because they are very careful with who they let in their lives, a simple nice conversation won't do. The delay you will be facing until your late twenties is, obviously about relationships, you will be going through a lot of unhealthy relationships until you learn that some people are just not worth trying for, to rely on your intuition when you meet people, unlike all the other houses, this one specifically would be protected by Saturn at a great extent, since the planet itself will rid the person of people they don't need in their lives, although a blessing in disguise, the person can feel very lonely a lot of the time.

Saturn in 8th house: Saturn here talks about inheritance and transformation of the self, but it also talks about intimacy and sexuality, often people with this placement are virgin until their late teen years and also come from an important family background, in which they are expected to follow certain traditions, if not from the parents but the grandparents. They probably grow up in a very disciplined environment or around people with very intense emotions, around people who don't know how to control these emotions so they try to control them instead, these people also could've been around adults more of their life or were treated as such, given a lot of responsibility or adults sharing their secrets and worries with them. They have a difficult time loosing up and they tend to be virgin or practice celibacy for long periods in their lives, it's not weird that they go through a lot of transformations relating their sense of self and how they see the world as Saturn in this house will make the person prone to changes and challenges that are hard to go through, reinventing themselves specially in the way people see them and how they interact with the most hidden parts of themselves. The delay you will be facing until your late twenties is how to learn to not obsess over things and accept that change is inevitable, it's important for you to learn to be vulnerable without being intense, to get out of your comfort zone and to be able to grow outside of your familiar bubble before you're faced with something that will force you to do so, to not be so fatalistic and to try and connect with mysticism more.

Saturn in 9th house: Saturn here it's not like the rest, it does speak of religion and spirituality, but it also speaks about someone who has a blind belief in somebody else, people with this placement could've grown up with parents that were constantly lying and making things up to paint themselves as the opposite of what they actually were, these people have a special interest for the unknown and tend to gravitate towards spirituality when they need a push, when they feel like life isn't what they thought would be. They tend to idealize situations and people that are not at all what they seem, they have a complicated relationship with reality as they are very cultured and intelligent people but they usually ignore their own intuition and also go after the easy option. These people are well-known and have a "leader" kind of presence, however, they can let themselves be for too long as they believe they have all the time in the world to figure out what they want to do with their life, or, for instance it's not unusual that their plans are being delayed as wanting to finish school or go to university, these people would also have a difficult time with believing things out of their own control, they tend to feel unlucky and at the same time they have a nihilist kind of mentality. The delay you will be facing until your late twenties is your lack of self-trust when making decisions, always wanting other people to solve your problems or avoid worrying for anything, you will face a lot of delays when it comes to opportunities and education and spirituality or religion might be something you are skeptical about, you need to learn to be patient and not give up when something doesn't work out the first time, it's important that you take time to better your abilities.

Saturn in 10th house: Saturn in here it's in it's own house, along with the eleventh house, the planet might feel the most comfortable in this house and it will make the person's lessons more noticeable or easy to get through, however, this house speaks of reputation and money and how a person sees their self-worth through their work, the person with this placement will have a very clear idea of their abilities and capacity but at the same time they will still search for approval, it's possible their childhood was marked by the father or male figure in their life as they were taught a lot of harsh lessons since a very young age and don't take things for granted, these people could look up to them or want to try and be better that the father, meaning, they could try and do the job the father figure never accomplished, this person is a generational curse breaker as they will try their hardest to give their family or have a better life for themselves, to these people it's important to have a set of goals to accomplish, very dedicated. They are always looking behind them and trying to be better than their past selves, the good thing about these people is they have the ability to look inwards and recognize their flaws, the bad thing is they might not know how to work in group and want to control and deal with everything on their own, they don't know how to ask for help and might use independency as a trauma response. The delay you will be facing until your late twenties is your lack of awareness when it comes to other people, your very extremist way of seeing things and how you are always thinking of the past or the future, inability to enjoy the moment and emotional dissatisfaction, it's important that you try to let other's in to your world, and to learn to work with people rather than doing everything alone. If you don't have someone you can celebrate your accomplishments with, what's the point?

Saturn in 11th house: Saturn here, like with the tenth house, it also feels comfortable since this house is the house of Aquarius, a sign ruled by the same planet, and the person that has this placement might find it easier to go through some lessons in their life and are very self-aware of their surroundings, almost to a fault, they can become very cold and analytical when dealing with people, specially groups of people, they probably grew up in a household were others rarely visited or their parents were very lonely people, since a very young age these people were used to being alone but it can be the case of being forced to grow up too quickly and could never relate to people their own age. This person has a hard time dealing with rejection and can often feel alienated by their own peers, groups of people can intimidate them as they've had bad experiences, they have very unique ideas and personalities so it's difficult for them to relate to others or find their group of friends, they tend to focus too much on how they are perceived and what kind of people they hang out with, that sometimes they can see their friends as a means to an end, they were probably seen as less important when they were younger and are obsessed with making a name for themselves. The delay you will be facing until your late twenties is how you are always comparing yourself to other people's achievements, your self-awareness can become too much sometimes that it will be impossible for you to relax and you will want to have everything with little to no effort, it's important that you don't compare yourself to others and learn to have patience when it comes to your goals, that you must mature enough. This placement grants you a lot of popularity and recognition in the long run as long as you let go of this lone wolf kind of mentality.

Saturn in 12th house: Saturn in here makes it difficult for the person to totally relax and let go of their worries, much like the sixth house, people with this placement experience a great deal of pain and responsibility from a young age, they could become very passive and non-confrontational, they could've been expected to always be available and they have a hard time saying no to things, they truly feel like it's their responsibility to help people, growing up they could've dealt with very explosive parents, an absent father or parents who passed away, as the paternal and maternal figure for these people growing up wasn't really present, they could resort to siblings or external families, these people deal with a lot of negative thoughts and negative thinking, they have a special interest in kids or pets, they have a very well developed intuition and they could've experienced very scary paranormal things growing up, they have close relatives that probably passed away and they can feel their presence, this person is someone who could be very in tune with their emotions or suppress everything they feel, they are very sensitive and susceptive to other's energies it's hard for them not to fall into addictions, when they like something or someone very much, it's possible they don't know how to control themselves and get obsessed with that thing or person, they fail to see the bigger picture most of the time. The delay you will be facing until your late twenties is your constant need to want to help people instead of helping yourself, how you fail to see the signs when something turns toxic or isn't serving you anymore, it's important that you don't prolongue bad situations in your life and learn to be more self-reliant and to try and heal yourself first.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : 🪐 ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ 🪐 : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

thanks for reading uwu

#astrology #saturn #saturn in 1st house #saturn in 2nd house #saturn in 3rd house #saturn in the houses #saturn astrology #saturn in 4th house #saturn in 5th house #saturn in 6th house #saturn in 7th house #saturn in 8th house #saturn in 9th house #saturn in 10th house #saturn in 11th house #saturn in 12th house

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sorcerous-caress · 7 months

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How do you think the party would react if Tav was a Fallen Aasimar? I sure it hinges on the God's aliment. What if it was a God they worship?

Reacting to a fallen aasimar Tav

[Bg3, fluff, nb!reader]

[Shadowheart, Wyll, Karlach, Halsin, Astarion, Gale, Minthara, Laezel]

You used to serve a god they worship/worshipped. I took some liberties with the godless characters.

Shadowheart - Selune

Assuming it happens either after the game ends or in an alternative universe where Shadowheart never abandoned Selune. Then she'd be very conflicted.

What could you have possibly done to have the most gentle of goddesses stripping your wings? Moonlight melting your silvery feathers until they're nothing but abyssal black and ash.

Her lady is wise, therefore she will be very wary of you. Yet at the same time, she can't help but feel a sense of familiarity when she looks at you. It drives away her prejudice for a moment and lets her judge you for your action, no matter how blasphemous the act of questioning her goddess's judgment might be.

Wyll - Tyr

To fall from celeste is to become a fiend. How are you any better than the devils below in the hells?

If he was his younger self, he wouldn't have hesitated to deliver you to justice, and yet the horns on his own head weight heavy like a crown paid for in a lifetime of experience. He knows better than anyone that nothing is ever what it seems like.

This Wyll is wiser, more understanding and open. He's willing to extend the same courtesy to you that he wished someone would've done to him before.

Let him hear you out, friend. Tell him what befelled this fate upon you.

Karlach - Tymora

She is more confused about how you managed to anger the smiling lady herself. It takes a special kind of asshole to turn their back on good fortune and lady luck.

An aasimar at that too? A messenger of luck?

She's never been big on the whole religion thing, to be honest with you, yet the wamrth and good fortune her goddess extended to her is still one of the best gifts she has ever been given.

So what happened? How did this even happen?

She'd never be hostile towards you nor exlude you as long as you don't do anything sinister. She genuinely belives in sharing her good fortune with everyone no matter who.

Halsin - Silvanus

Oak father preserve him. To Halsin, seeing you brings as much joy to him as seeing the shadow curse spread.

His God's teachings aren't that hard to follow, just respect the natural order and preserve all living beings. He has been diligently upholding this code through his life and spreading the teachings back at the grove.

Yet, the oak father himself marked you as an endangerment to the very being of nature. To the ancient trees and sprouting spring flowers, you reprsent the slithering all-consuming wither and rot.

He is very uncomfortable around you, not just on his guard, but you can see that he would rather be anywhere else than near you. Yet, feels like he had to keep an eye on you just in case you burn down a forest or something behind his back.

Astarion - Corellon

Honestly, he doesn't even remember worshipping the old elf or anything. He just assumes it given his previous stature and ancestry.

Not that the self-proclaimed protector of all elves has ever given him a single second of his time since he became an undead. No matter how much he prayed, it seems that the blood running through his veins barely counted anymore when it wasn't his own blood to begin with.

Fuck him, along all the other gods who turned their back on him for 200 hundred years of pure shit. It's a good thing you fell, he tells you, at least now your powers are yours alone. What's a god if not just another master to get you to do their biddings?

He is interested in you, mostly in your powers, to be more precise.

But it also encourages you to seek your own path and never think of grovelling for forgiveness or your feathers back.

Gale - Mystra

He makes a lame ass joke about if that makes him your stepfather. Dad puns included.

Surprisingly, he doesn't make a big deal out of it, even if it was before he fully got over his ex.

He's a scholar first and a lover second. He is genuinely very interested in learning about you and aasimars. Meeting one in a lifetime is a miracle. They're so rare that they're barely documented even. So imagine meeting a fallen one? He is beyond intrigued by you and your nature.

Sure, your morality might come into question, but he will worry about that later. For now, he is more interested in inspecting your wings and asking borderline intrusive questions about how serving Mystra was like.

Evil alligned deities.

Aasimars don't have many rules about them in dnd, but for one, they are classified as celestial beings. So technically, they can't ever serve evil alligned gods. It's never officially stated, tho so it is up to interpretation.

Devils or fiends serve the evil deities instead, so i thought why not make the reason the aasmire fell is because they decided to serve the evil god for the character.

In the next headcanons, falling is considered a good thing. Whoever your previous good god was that you used to serve, you abandoned them and went to serve an evil deity instead which is why you fell.

Laezel - Vlaakith

A good choice, a wise choice even. Laezel might not be versed much in the gods pantheon but she is sure whoever your old deity was, they couldn't have compared to her queen.

You have her respect, the same respect she'd extend to a kitherak even. In her eyes, you're the embodiment of the red dragon and rider knight both in one. Your wings and shinning blade speak for themselves.

She is honoured, fascinated too. Yet her admiration is a double edged sword, for she will hold you to impossible standards and consider it meeting the bare minimum.

Minthara - Lolth

She almost pities you, willingly becoming another pawn in this endless chessboard of drow conflict. Another gem to decorate Lolth's whip with as she inflicts it on whoever she sees fit.

Either you're foolishly naive or a complete masochist to dedicate yourself to the spider queen. Either way, she will test you herself to see exactly what you're made of.

As someone who abandoned Lolth, she'd be wary of anyone who serves her goddess. Yet you haven't cut off her head yet, how strange?

Minthara doesn't hide her disdain for Lolth around you, both warning you of the cruel fate awaiting you no matter how much of a good pet you're to your goddess.

For the longer you stay loyal to Lolth, the more of an endangerment you become to Minthara herself.

Shadowheart - Shar

Another child of the darkness, another sibling of the night to guide her through this journey. Shadowheart thinks your meeting was fate, a reward from her dark lady.

Especially if you saved her from the ship, she'd see you as her hero, a shining black diamond amonst the rubble and mud.

Mirroring how Laezel would've acted in fact, their dangerous fickle admiration of you that you never asked for would force a magnifying glass over both your flaws while exaggerating your achievements.

She doesn't hide her Shar worship from you this time around. She is proud, especially by you by her side. She will be your shield and recovery as long as you be her sword and wings.

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autistichalsin · 4 months

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I wonder if you have thoughts on like.... the other members of his grove? and halsin relating to them? bc apart from rath and maybe two more, they all seem very dicky to me 🤔 and ya, halsin said it's been a burden, and being a kind-hearted dude like him leading a bunch of bastards that think so highly of themselves could definitely contribute to the stress. I guess i don't get it? the one at the steps by the bear is like 'hold on give them a chance' @ the bear when we come in but then in the same breath is like 'no step further or i show you my claws' and seems like has to be talked down from being hostile by third druid; then later when we stop the ritual she's like 'we stopped the chanting but that doesn't give you the right to be disrespectful to this place' and some rando other druid went something along the lines of 'you're overstaying your welcome' - im just thinking how horrible halsin's life must have been surrounded by pricks like that 😔

Short version: yeah, everyone but Rath, Nettie, and Apikusis suck lol

Long version: everyone but Rath, Nettie, and Apikusis suck, BUT you can see several who are having doubts about what they're doing, and many of them come back to themselves once Halsin returns.

There were, I think, multiple things going on here:

By his own admission, Halsin wasn't a very strong leader. He never had leadership skills taught or modeled for him before becoming Archdruid, and further, his promotion was under incredibly traumatic circumstances. The survivor guilt, the admiration he had towards the previous Archdruid, likely left him not wanting to fully engage with the role out of fear of replacing him or at least seeming to do so.

The refugee situation was noted to be causing stress at the Grove as supplies were dwindling (I guess we're supposed to forget Goodberry is a spell ANY Druid can do, lol). This would have not only sown resentment against Halsin and the refugees for putting them in this situation, but crucially, it would have given an outsider enemy for the Grove. Cults (like the Shadow Druids) operate at their strongest when they have a threat, or appearance of one, to unite members and potential members under. "We are the only ones who can keep you safe from these outsiders who may be from hell itself, who are using all your supplies and contributing nothing, who are the reason you're being attacked by goblins every other day." And Halsin, as much as I love him, showed poor judgment in going with the goblins at that precise moment, and with little explanation to the others. It shows where his heart and priorities are- always with the Shadow-Cursed Lands first- but that would not be an endearing things for his stressed Druids.

Kagha not only fell in with this cult, but unfortunately, she had a lot of what Halsin was lacking as a leader- she just chose to use this skills for evil. She was persuasive (something Halsin admits he wasn't so good at), she presented herself as being concerned with the group's welfare in a way Halsin wasn't quite able to do (since his heart was elsewhere), and her zealotry seemed preferable to the other Druids in contrast to Halsin's mixed attention.

This cannot be understated: the Grove was deliberately targeted by Ketheric Thorm. He knew from experience that the Grove posed a significant threat, and he ordered his underlings to make contact with the Shadow Druids and send them to the Emerald Grove, to either persuade them to carry out the Rite of Thorns or at least cause so much division that the social bonds collapsed entirely and the Grove was left too divided to be able to accomplish anything. Ketheric and the Shadow Druids were able to find all of the above weaknesses and exploit them effortlessly.

So then it became a game of scapegoating, which is a favored recruitment technique of cults. "We're here because of the Other, and because our leader was too weak to fix the problem before it got this bad. We need a new leader; a leader who cares only for us and isn't afraid to tell the truth about these immigrants refugees who want to destroy America our Grove by leading gangsters and drug lords goblins right to us! Build the Wall Perform the Rite of Thorns!"

No one is immune to propaganda and everyone is a potential target for cults. It very well could be that all of the Druids, even Kagha, were once genuinely kind people who were manipulated by the cult into believing their kindnesses would get the Grove destroyed; they took on the "it's us or them" mentality.

For the timeframe to work, it either would have had to be happening in secret before Halsin left, or Halsin would have had to be gone for a while; since we know it wasn't TOO terribly long but hadn't JUST happened either, my guess is that Kagha had been spreading Shadow Druid doctrine in secret for some time, and had been planning to usurp Halsin's position even if he hadn't been kidnapped. That just made it easier once it happened. (There is a formal process within the Druids to challenge an Archdruid for their position; I don't know if Halsin even would have fought Kagha that hard if she kept her true intentions a secret. He had faith in her at this point after all, and didn't want the leadership position. That's a terrifying thought.)

So, then, Halsin comes back, and sees evil ideas spreading in all his Druids, starting with Kagha. Depending on the player's actions, he may or may not know it goes deeper than her. He can also see that his reputation has been severely damaged, if not ruined, in his absence; almost none of the Druids have any respect for him anymore. So he makes the wise decision to bring in Francesca, who they have no choice but to respect, and backs away himself. At this point, he intends to return someday when the Druids have been deprogrammed, but of course, later he decides it's not worth it anyway.

So back to: how bad must his life have been surrounded by that? Well, as mentioned, my headcanon is he wasn't surrounded by it very long, if at all. He thought everything was just normal, until he got back from being kidnapped and quickly found it very much wasn't. Whether that's better or worse, though, is up to interpretation. What's worse- seeing those you love fall victim to a cult, or thinking everything is completely fine, and then one day discovering they've been sucked in deep and there's nothing you can do to persuade them anymore since they've come to see you as The Enemy?

In any case, Halsin deserved much better, and I like to think he keeps in touch with Nettie, Rath, and Apikusis after the epilogue, even if he keeps his distance from the Grove itself.

#halsin #halsin silverbough #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #kagha

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dailyadventureprompts · 16 days

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Ok, so if i'm not playing D&D the "right way" then what do you suggest i play? i don't even play 5e much anymore nor am i trying to start an argument, i am honestly curious. why can a game not have multiple ways of engaging with it, or just be a tool to facilitate storytelling why still having mechanics? Especially when the DMG literally says that there are multiple methods of play beyond the very strict definitions that thydungeongal and txttletale love to beat people over the head with?

I think I might be missing the context of what sparked this ask, but I'm going to do my best to answer it all the same.

First: I don't think you're going to get any sort of agreement between me, thydungeongal, or txttletale over what the one "right way" to play d&d is. (Based off my general impressions without talking to them directly) TDG is going to recommend you focus on stories of exploration and dungeon adventure because that's what the system supports, while TT is going to say that you should play something indie because not only are the d&d rules badly designed but WotC's market dominance is bad for the health of the hobby and the IP has some really iffy race politics.

I'm just as opinionated as those two, but my opinions are largely based around my standards for what makes D&D fun to play either as a player or DM: Is the group chemistry right? Is the narration informative/amusing to listen to? Are the game systems being executed well? Are we intentionally trying to avoid bad experiences/slog? For me D&D is a performance as much as it is a game, and a bad performance/gameplay (no matter what side of the screen I'm on) makes my skin CRAWL. I've been chasing the ideal game of d&d for two and a half decades now, and I'm unwilling to settle for an experience that's just passable.

I have no idea how you're playing d&d, or if the version you're playing (not just rules system, but general execution, way of being etc) is in any way to my liking, so I can't make a judgment if I consider it in any way "wrong". Likely if we did play I'd have some notes, and through analyzing the differences in our playstyles I'd come to an understanding of how I could play the game better.

That's the exact reason I reblog/comment on 5e critical voices: It's my favourite system, but the critiques levelled at it are something I (and I hope my readers) can learn from regardless of whether they're true, or just wrong in an interesting way.

If you're having trouble with how other people are saying a game should be played, ask yourself; do you have a point of view that runs counter to theirs? or do you just instinctively not like people telling you that what your doing is (in their opinion) wrong?

#dnd meta #dapper digresses

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south-of-heaven · 10 months

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Priestly fic where she is the sister of dom and she joins TJD and she has secret feelings for them

More ways than one || Rhea Ripley x Reader x Damian Priest

Summary: When you joined the judgement day together with your brother you did not expect it to go like this

A/N: This is honestly one of the most fun things I've ever written so I hope you enjoy :)

You've recently joined Judgment Day alongside your brother, Dominik Mysterio, and the experience has been both exhilarating and nerve-wracking. However, there's a certain dynamic duo in the group that's been catching your attention in a way you never expected – Rhea Ripley and Damian Priest. Despite your dad, Rey Mysterio's warnings to stay away from them, you find yourself drawn to the Eradicator and the Punisher.

There's something intriguing about Rhea's fierce confidence and Damian's mysterious charm that keeps pulling you in. You know it's risky, especially considering the age gap between you and Damian, but you can't seem to resist their magnetic presence.

As days pass, you find yourself catching feelings for both Rhea and Damian, and it mortifies you. You're only 24, and while that may not mean much between you and Rhea, the difference between your ages and experiences feels vast when it comes to Damian.

Yet, the two don't make it easy for you. They love to tease you, saying suggestive things that make you nervous and blush, and they seem to have a mischievous glint in their eyes whenever they see your reaction. Little did you know, they were already aware of your feelings before you even realized them yourself, and they're just enjoying flirting with you.

One night, you find yourself alone on the bus with Rhea and Damian. The atmosphere feels charged with tension as they look at you with knowing eyes. You feel your heart race, not sure what to expect.

"Join us," Rhea says with a smug smile, as Damian leans in closer.

Your breath hitches as you try to comprehend their proposition. "What do you mean? I already joined you, didn't I?"

Damian chuckles softly. "In more ways than one, sweetheart."

You feel your cheeks flush, and you look away, unable to meet their gaze. "I-I can't," you stammer, feeling overwhelmed by the implications.

But Rhea places a gentle hand on your cheek, turning your face to meet her eyes. "You're not the only one with feelings here," she says softly. "We've noticed how you look at us, and we feel the same way."

"And age is just a number," Damian adds, his voice low and seductive. "What matters is how we make each other feel."

You can hardly believe your ears. They feel the same way about you? Your heart races with a mix of excitement and uncertainty. But as you look into their eyes, you see nothing but sincerity and genuine affection.

Before you can respond, Rhea leans in, her lips brushing against yours in a gentle kiss. Your body trembles with anticipation, and you can't help but kiss her back, the sensation sending a rush of emotions through you.

Damian wraps his arms around both of you, drawing you closer in an intimate embrace. "We want you, Chiqui," he whispers, his lips ghosting against your ear. "Just as much as you want us."

In that moment, all doubts and reservations fade away. You're captivated by their affection, and the three of you share a connection that feels electric and undeniable.

As the night unfolds, the lines between friendship and desire blur, and you find yourself in the arms of both Rhea and Damian. Age may be just a number, but the love and passion between you are very real.

With Rhea and Damian, you discover a profound connection that transcends boundaries and expectations. You realize that love doesn't always fit neatly into societal norms, and what matters most is the happiness and fulfillment you find in each other's arms.

In the embrace of your Eradicator and Punisher, you find solace, joy, and a sense of belonging you never thought possible. And as the three of you share a night of intimacy and affection, you know that this is just the beginning of a beautiful journey filled with love, excitement, and the magic of unexpected connections.

#wwe fanfiction #wwe x reader #wwe #pro wrestling #damian priest #damian priest x reader #damian x reader #rhea ripley x reader x damian priest #damian priest x rhea ripley #rhea ripley x reader #rhea x reader #rhea ripley #priestly #the judgment day #the judgement day wwe #the eradicator #the punisher

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cherrypikkins · 10 months

Text

FE3H OC: Kitt Burgess - Support Conversations and Artwork

From an earlier poll, I wrote support conversations for the top three characters with my FE3H OC, Kitt (they/them). I also did some semi-related artwork. :3

More reading below the cut!

Hapi – Support Level C

Scene: Forest

Kitt: That was a close call. Way too close for my liking. You're not hurt anywhere, are you?

Hapi: I'm fine. Also, I could have handled it on my own without you butting in.

Kitt: I...suppose? Though with a Demonic Beast this huge, I'd rather not take any chances. What happened, by the way?

Hapi: What do you think happened? I was in a bad mood and sighed before I could stop myself. I do that, okay? Sometimes I can't help myself, so spare me your judgment.

Kitt: Right. Okay. That's what I suspected, but I thought I'd ask you first before jumping to any conclusions. No judgment here, I promise.

Kitt: Anyway. Since it doesn't look like you're hurt, I'll just run along and leave you be.

Hapi: Um, hello? Monastery is that way.

Kitt: I... know that? I still have a patrol to finish. But I'll head back once I'm done.

Hapi: Don't you have a report to write up? On what just happened?

Kitt: You want me to report you? That would be giving the Church free ammunition against you. Is that what you want?

Hapi: No, but that's what the Knights of Seiros do, isn't it? Keep an eye on troublesome kids like me and tattle to the Church when stuff like this goes down?

Kitt: Ha. Do I look like one of the Knights to you? That's a little worrisome.

Kitt: I'll just tell Seteth that I took care of a stray Demonic Beast and leave it at that. I'm the only one who knows you were ever here, and I'm happy to keep it that way.

Kitt: Or do you care that much about the rules?

Hapi: Heh. Not if you don't.

Kitt: I thought not.

Kitt: Although, if one of the Knights gets nosy and finds you here, nothing I say will stop them from jumping to their own conclusions. So, better run along now.

Hapi: Wait. Kitty-Cat. I'm sorry I barked at you just now. You probably figured, but I haven't had the best experience with the Knights or the Church.

Hapi: I guess I thought you were just another one of their lackeys.

Kitt: Ha. That's what I get for answering their every beck and call. I'm just trying to put out my best behavior, but Goddess knows they probably have a massive report written up on me somewhere.

Hapi: Huh. So they're keeping an eye on you too, then? They really are the worst. What sort of dirt do they have on you, anyway?

Kitt: I'm not going to tell you.

Hapi: Oh, don't worry. I wasn't expecting you to come out with it. Just thought I'd try my luck.

Hapi: Anyway, thanks for saving my skin. At least I know you'll be somewhere in the neighborhood in case something like this ever happens again. Which, I'm sure it will.

Kitt: Of course. Just come running to me and I'll take care of it.

Felix – Support Level C

Scene: Training Grounds

Felix: Hey, you.

Kitt: Me?

Felix: You skipped out on training today. Again.

Kitt: Huh. So you spotted me. I was hoping to be extra careful that time.

Felix: If you're not here to train, why are you even here? All you do is waste everyone's time, mine included.

Kitt: I was just stopping by to fetch my things. I'll be out of your hair in a second.

Felix: You're looking for your knife, right? I have it here, you know. You left it behind while sneaking off earlier.

Kitt: ...So I did. May I please have it back?

Felix: They say you can dispatch a Demonic Beast with ease, sometimes even a whole nest of them, without anyone helping you. Is that the truth?

Kitt: A whole nest of Demonic Beasts? That's a bit of an exaggeration, don't you think?

Felix: That's what I thought at first. But I've seen you fight before. Why does it seem like you're always holding back.

Kitt: Not sure I understand what you're talking about.

Felix: There you go, with that act of yours. It's like you're afraid of something.

Felix: What's wrong? Is it beneath a slayer of beasts to fight against ordinary people? Or are you trying to endear yourself to others by pretending to be weak?

Kitt: If I was trying to endear myself to you, Felix, I would have gone for a different approach.

Felix: I'll say. Your attitude is really getting on my nerves, and you're not doing anyone any favors here. This is a military academy. Not a playground.

Felix: So instead of trying to fool me, and failing miserably, why don't you show me some of that incredible power I've heard people talk about?

Kitt: ...

Kitt: Because you're not ready.

Felix: Excuse me? What is that supposed to mean?

Kitt: I'm not certain you want to know.

Kitt: May I have my knife back, Felix?

Felix: Hmph. Take it and go, already. I've wasted enough time with you.

Kitt: Thank you. Maybe one day I'll let you see what fighting a monster is like.

Kitt exits.

Felix: ... And here I thought the Boar was terrifying.

Claude – Support Level C

Scene: Library

Claude: Hey, Kitt! Perfect timing. There's something I've been wanting to ask you. If you don't mind me prying a little, that is.

Kitt: -sigh- Let me guess. This is the part where you bombard me with personal and invasive questions about my life history, correct?

Claude: Well, I wouldn't have put it quite like that...

Kitt: No need to dance around it, Claude, I've seen that look of yours. So do your worst and let's get this over with.

Claude: Cutting right to the chase, are we? Fine by me. Let's start with the basics.

Claude: You were born in a remote village in the southern part of the Oghma mountains, correct? Does that... make you Imperial by birth?

Kitt: Geographically speaking, yes. But there are a handful of remote communities scattered across Fodlan that neither the Empire, the Kingdom, nor the Alliance bother to keep tabs on.

Kitt: Mainly because we aren't important from an economic or militaristic standpoint.

Kitt: My village is - was - one such settlement. We didn't have ties to any of the ruling powers, and we rarely ever dealt with the outside world, unless it was with the Church. With some exceptions.

Claude: Okay. That I can understand, except for one small detail. I'm pretty sure I've asked everyone up and down the monastery. Why does it seem like no one has ever heard of your village?

Kitt: If you're caught up on recent history, you should know that my village doesn't exist anymore. It was wiped out by Demonic Beasts. Things like that happen all the time. Surely you and the others must have heard.

Claude: Well...yeah. But that's what makes the whole thing so bizarre.

Claude: If it was wiped out a few years ago, there has to be a record somewhere. As you say, things like that happen every so often, and it's not exactly secret knowledge when they do.

Claude: But I've searched just about everywhere in this library, and I haven't found anything written in the past decade about a village in the Oghma Mountains that was destroyed by monsters. Let alone one with a sole survivor.

Kitt: I'm not sure I'd call myself a 'sole survivor'. ...I mean, there could have been others, but the Knights never bothered to confirm it.

Claude: Is that so? For a disaster like that, you'd think they'd keep some kind of documentation. ...Unless the documents are missing, somehow. Do you think they were confiscated by the Church for some reason?

Kitt: I don't know, but I wouldn't be surprised. Books disappear from this library all the time at the behest of the Church.

Claude: But these aren't just books written by some random dissident. These are recent historical records. Without them, it's like your village never existed in the first place! Doesn't that bother you?

Kitt: It's clearly bothering you, though I can't understand why. Exactly how far are you willing to go just to satisfy that curiosity of yours?

Claude: Well for starters, I could ask you the name of your village. It's just a name, but you'd be giving me a lead, at the very least.

Kitt: Perhaps. But that's dangerous knowledge you're chasing after. I'd rather not.

Claude: Hey, hold on a second. You said I was allowed to ask you 'personal and invasive' questions about your life history.

Kitt: True. But I never promised that I would answer them fully, honestly, or at all. The Church prefers that I keep my mouth shut, and ... it's better that I play by their rules.

Kitt: I'm sorry, Claude.

Claude: Right, well. It's not like I've done much to earn your trust. So, I don't blame you for playing it safe, especially when the Church is involved.

Claude: I guess that means you don't know the whole truth of what happened either.

Kitt: No. But I don't let it bother me. Everything about my village ... well, it's all ancient history now.

Kitt: ...Good luck with your research, though. Do let me know if you find out anything new.

Kitt leaves

Claude: Huh? I mean... For sure. I'll keep you updated.

Claude: Ancient history, huh...? Not bad for a lead.

#fe3h #fire emblem three houses #fe3h oc #felix hugo fraldarius #claude von riegan #fe3h hapi #fe3h art #cw body horror

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olderthannetfic · 5 months

Note

I do think a lot of the problem and the reason that more people (like the ones who seem to think that "top/bottom as myers-briggs personality types" jokes are exclusively coming from female-centric fandom spaces rather than gay male offline culture - which, btw, ignores that a whole bunch if not most female fanfic writers are themselves queer and there's a similar set of jokes and stereotypes in the lesbian community, but I digress) don't seem to understand what offline queer culture is like on here is that way too many of the people setting the tone for this in The Discourse on Tumblr are very young people who are newly out. In particular, a huge amount of the gay men on here who are telling people how very Problematic this is (when they're getting it from gay men and not circular discourse among other women in fandom who are claiming to speak on gay men's behalf) is coming from young gay men who don't have much of a community offline, and especially young gay trans men who often aren't yet presenting as male outside of the Internet. It's really hard to talk about, because it so easily risks saying those people's identities aren't valid - and like, we've seen TERFs weaponize that discourse to suggest that gay trans men involved in fandom are just straight women who identified too hard with their blorbos or something, as well as the endless use of "passing privilege" to suggest that bi people in F/M relationships are "basically straight" - but I think one thing people need to understand better is the difference between "your identity is valid, your personal experiences with homophobia/transphobia/etc. are valid" and "your judgments about the larger community that your identity makes you a member of are valid." Like, you do actually have to participate in a community to be able to be able to talk about what the consensus in it is, what the cultural norms are. You have to actually look up the history in order to know that history. If you're going to speak on behalf of All Gay Men you probably should know some beyond yourself - including ones who are not Very Online and/or aren't active in fandom - and that goes for both cis and trans gay men. (And the same is true for every subdivision of LGBTQ+, I've seen similarly bizarre takes about "lesbian culture" from 17-yro lesbians who clearly haven't talked to any outside of Tumblr and insular, dramatic Discords.)

Like, to use an analogy here to another kind of oppression: say you have a black person who was adopted by a white family very young and lived in an exclusively white neighborhood and doesn't know any other black people. Obviously, they are still black, and obviously they still experience racism (probably especially because they're an outlier in that community). Obviously, their own understanding of their identity and their experiences with racism are valid. But they aren't necessarily going to have any better of an understanding of the broader black COMMUNITY - cultural traditions, history, etc. - than a non-black person who was similarly not exposed to that community. They can only speak for themselves. And someone who isn't black but grew up near/in black communities (for instance, perhaps another transracial adoptee who was adopted by a black couple? or even just a non-black person who grew up in a heavily black neighborhood) might actually have a better sense of that broader community/culture than they do.

And this isn't a hypothetical. I've heard stuff like that about feeling like outliers in black American culture from everyone from the aforementioned transracial adoptees; to multiracial black people who were raised primarily by their non-black family; to black people who are recent immigrants from Africa rather than descendants of slaves; to black people from Europe or other parts of the Americas, who have some similarities in their culture but it's not completely 1:1. And especially from people who are some combo of the above. They have an understanding of themselves as black and of their relationship to race and racism, of course, but don't really feel like they have a particularly strong understanding of The Black Community or The Black Experience as we understand it in the USA.

I think what a lot of people don't understand is that newly-out queer people are often like that. A lot of other marginalized identities - like being a cis woman (this applies less to trans women unless they've known from early on) or being a POC - are ones where you grow up with an understanding of what that means and often a connection to a broader community that gives you some kind of consciousness of what it means to be A Woman or Black or Asian or whatever. But with queerness, it's usually not something you fully understand about yourself until adolescence or adulthood, and even when you do, you don't necessarily have access to a "community" around that until that age because you're probably being raised by cis straight people. You have to take time to discover that community and learn about it, and the culture and history that goes with, and when you start out you're going to be just as ignorant as a straight cis person who is similarly isolated from queer communities. (And frankly, a straight person with a lot of gay friends might know better than you do at first! As a lesbian with a lot of gay male friends, most of whom couldn't care less about my slash fanfic hobby if they even know about it, that's precisely why I know that these takes on Tumblr are so bizarre)

(Disability is the interesting one because it sometimes overlaps with this, sometimes doesn't - and one of the big divides in the community IME is around people who have lifelong understandings of themselves as "disabled" vs. came to it more recently, whether because the disability itself is a new thing or just their diagnosis of it. A lot of people in the second group can have very similar experiences and act in similar ways to newly-out queer people, and I know because I've lived both myself, lol.)

I think people have taken the idea of "everyone is the best expert on their own experience with oppression and their own identity" and distorted that into some weird essentialism where being gay or bi or trans or whatever gives you automatic understanding of "queer culture" or "queer history" without having to do the actual work of talking to people, participating in that community, studying history, etc. but that's just not true. Anyone can study that history and get to know those people. And yeah, as a queer or trans person you'll have a better opportunity to really deeply know and be part of that community than straight cis people with queer friends ever will, but you still have to like. Actually put yourself out there! You're not going to find it by just discoursing in a vacuum of ignorance.

Sadly, to all the Olds, this is very, very obvious, but there's no way to make it obvious to the people doing it. It's a matter of experience.

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archivalofsins · 15 days

Text

The Prisoners (All the characters who label themselves as prisoners in their "Thank You" messages.)

The People they're imprisoned with (All the characters who don't label themselves as prisoners in their "Thank You" messages)-

I highlighted where they say prisoners under the cut with a few more fun facts-

Haruka, Futa, Mu, and Kotoko all don't put their names on their thank you messages. Mu only puts her song title on hers in Japanese but she has English lyrics from the song highlighted on their as well. Shidou states that this is Milgram Season 2 before putting the title of his song/contribution then signing his full name like an actor would.

Something when coupled with Jackalopes statement in the second trial commencement notice-

Along with Shidou blatantly stating,

"Please listen to me, Es. I've killed people. Lots of them as well. It was for such a selfish reason too. I'm a fine specimen of what a genuine murderer ought to be."

It's really suspicious and funny to think of the implications behind how he signed his thank you message. Especially since in the same interrogation Es notes,

"In comparison to all the interrogations thus far, this one has been progressing far too smoothly. It feels somewhat unsettling."

All of that is a really interesting thing to think about when put all together. At least I think so.

(Star here though Gunsli assisted me with sorting this out some- I find the idea of Shidou being a mole very amusing. It would recontextualize the fact that he's a doctor within Milgram.

Giving the impression that Shidou's inclusion was more of a failsafe, in the event that something like Kotoko jumping her fellow prisoners occurred. It's incredibly convenient that Milgram happened to incarcerate not just one but two people who seem to understand first aid.

Considering Shidou's statements about Amane,

22/10/24 (Shidou’s Birthday)

Amane: ……Kirisaki Shidou. How long do you plan on continuing this foolish behaviour?

Shidou: I wonder what you might be referring to there. I’m just doing what I need to do. If anything, I’d be happy if you would lend me a hand.

Amane: I warned you. I can no longer turn a blind eye to this wickedness taking place right in front of us. You’re bringing ruin unto yourself. Do you understand?

Shidou: No, I don’t understand. It’s my job as an adult to teach you that throwing a temper tantrum isn’t going to make everything go your way. If it’s a test of endurance you want, I’m happy to oblige, Amane.

This idea would also recontextualize his immediate response to the events between trial one and two being to tell Es,

"I think we should put an end to Milgram as a whole. Both for our sake and for yours."

Along with his confusion when Es responds with,

That's impossible.

"Why?!" I can't think of any method of stopping it... or any way to get out. "...!" Milgram won't end just because I want it to. That's all I know. It won't end until your judgment has been completed. That's the crux of it. "Your...the same as us, aren't you?"

Ultimately Shidou recognizes that Es is pretty much in the same position as they are. However, under this framing Shidou would be aware that Milgram is an experiment that can be stopped at any time but not aware of who could stop it or how to himself.

This would give more context to him proposition Es in trial one as well,

During the first trial's proposition being asking for the death sentence off the bat:

"That’s just my personality. I just simply don’t think bad of it—this place, I mean." You mean, Milgram? "Yeah, this place will put me to death." What? "I might not get a golden opportunity like this again, so I’ll get straight to the point. Es… You decide how the prisoners will be dealt with, right?" Yeah. That’s right. "The death penalty is what I’m hoping for. Thank you in advance." I won’t have that. The lot of you can’t decide what your own treatment will be. Only I as the prison guard have the authority to do so. "Exactly. You as the prison guard have the right to do such a thing, Es, so that’s why I’m asking you for this favour."

The "unflappable" attitude that Shidou has here can be read as opportunistic complacency with the idea of him being a mole in mind. This mindset is also alluded to within his MVs, a prime example being where he sits down smiling to himself in Throw Down.

Furthermore, this highlights the progression of his view of Es and how much power they wield within Milgram as a whole. Going from the first presumption of Es having the ability to decide the prisoners' treatment to outright asking them to stop Milgram in trial two. Though, he is swiftly corrected about how much administrative power Es has, as pointed out earlier.

On top of that Shidou is the first of the prisoners to bring up the concept of someone dying due to Milgram and the death penalty at all.

Even going as far as to state,

"Hm… But, this place does smell of the dead though. I’m sure that some sort of death will lie at the end of Milgram."

If Shidou is a mole put into the experiment by Milgram then him asking Es for this could be framed as him raising the stakes. It could even be something management told him to do so the audience would know there was a chance of their actions leading to someone's death. Along with why he's genuinely perturbed when someone else almost dies despite stating he knew some sort of death lied at the end of Milgram from the start.

It's definitely an odd change going from kill to we have to make this violence stop before someone actually dies. Yet, it would make a bit more sense if he thought he was in on the lie but began to find out this was more out of control then he thought. He could still very much be a murderer and they just let him be in on it because he wanted to die anyway so didn't see the harm in using him in this way before he does.

This would also play on this line in Undercover well,

"Even with accusations full of faults and mistakes. You will for sure, with a smile for sure- Be pleased and satisfied."

Because regardless of how this plays out he'd still get what he wanted at the end of the day.

Along with fit the line referring to Shidou too,

"“UNDER” Which way will you throw down your weight? To be the deceived, or the deceiver."

This would also explain why Kazui would refer to Milgram as a prison game in his second voice drama,

"If that happens this prison game would probably come to an end as well." - "So this is unpleasant, hurling slurs of “hostage game”, you do know that it’s up to me?"

I asked @doctorbunny about Kazui's wording here and he said,

He says 監獄ごっこ kangoku gokko kangoku meaning prison and gokko meaning pretend/make believe

The one person known to talk to Shidou the most out of the prisoners and work alongside him. Now what would give him the impression this was all pretend.

Like some sort of a-

20/05/25

Mikoto: ……I’ve really got caught up in some trouble, huh. What even is this place? It’s probably a TV reality show or something. …but to think someone in this day and age would try to do a project that could land them in so much trouble. Uh……

Mahiru: Ah…… I’m Shina Mahiru! You can just call me Mahiru. And you are……?

Mikoto: Kayano Mikoto. I’m fine with just Mikoto too. Ahh, I’m glad there’s someone here who’s easy to talk to…… It’s nice to meet you, Mappy.

Mahiru: ………… ……Mappy???

20/05/31

Mu: Hey, Mikoto-kun, aren’t you scared of this place……? You can’t think of any reason you ended up here, right……?

Mikoto: Ahh, yeah. Of course, it’s not like I’m not scared at all. But just between you and me…… I still haven’t dropped the thought that this could all just be a TV show. I mean, I really haven’t ever murdered anyone. ……and if that is the case, we’re definitely being monitored. For like a prank setup or something. Wouldn’t it be super uncool and embarrassing to get angry or lash and have it shown on prime time?

Mu: Is that what you think……? A prank, huh…… I hope that’s all it is……

Mikoto: Ah! If that is the case, then you’ll probably be super popular since you’re so cute, Mucchan! There’s a lot of girls out there who make their big break coming off reality shows like that!

20/06/15

Mikoto: Hey, it’s kinda a bother having you be so angry and tense all the time. You should stop trying get everyone to pay attention to you. You’re a uni student, right? You can’t act like that once you start working properly.

Futa: Huh!? Shut up. Not like I care what you say. Even though we’re in this shitty situation, you’re just chatting away, it’s stupid. Aren’t you the one who’s acting out of place here? ……also the fact you give everyone nicknames is just gross.

Mikoto: *sigh* It’s more stupid to be taking this all so seriously. I mean, it’s definitely just a reality TV program. There’s no way a real prison exists that’s this lax. Also, I don’t give nicknames to everyone. I don’t give them to young kids like Amane, or to the hard-to-approach types like Shidou-san. I mean, I’m not giving you one, right?

Futa: ……oi, which group are you trying to say I am?

Television show or something.)

This was definitely not supposed to be this long but it was interesting going over all of this with Star and I think it's a fun thing to highlight overall.

#milgram

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mamawasatesttube · 1 year

Note

👀 timkon “If you killed me, my last words would be ‘I love you.’”

"...Does it bother you?"

Tim's voice is steady, but he knows Kon knows him better than to fall for it. Kon's posture is casual, relaxed, even indolent; his eyes haven't left the computer screen, however, and Tim knows him well enough to know it's because he doesn't want to meet Tim's gaze.

Talking to Kon isn't supposed to feel like a game of chess. A stone of dread sinks in Tim's stomach. This conversation was a gamble, but god, he was really hoping it wouldn't be like this.

"Pfff, nah, man." Kon finally tears his gaze away from the list on Tim's laptop, looks over at him. "Just 'cuz it psyched me out when we were kids doesn't mean I don't get it now. I mean, I'm in good company. You got Kal, Cassie, Bart, Cass... I'd be insulted if I wasn't on here!"

His laugh is forced. Now the dread is a knife, twisting in Tim's gut.

But then Kon's gaze drops again, and he sighs, his broad shoulders slumping. His fingers skim the edge of the laptop's casing before they fall back to his side. When he speaks, this time, his voice is genuine.

"Plus, it's... a good thing. I don't wanna know your plans, I don't wanna have any opportunity to even think about how I'd get around 'em—if you ever think I need to go down, I trust your judgment. Just look at last time."

Alarm bells begin to ring in Tim's mind. That hollow, somber note in Kon's voice. Tim hasn't heard it in over a year, maybe more; he thought Kon was doing better, that he finally realized that the mind control wasn't his fault. He thought being honest about still having backup contingencies would be good for them both. He thought—

And then Kon says it.

"I'd probably be grateful, if things went down so that you had to whip that bad boy out. Hell, if you killed me, my last words would be 'I love you', I bet."

If you killed me. The words ring like a death knell.

Tim whirls on him, furious.

"How could you say that?" he demands, hands clenched into fists in the sleeves of his sweater. His heart pounds a wild, panicked beat. "How could you fucking say that, Conner?"

Kon backpedals instantly, holding both hands up in surrender. "Whoa—hey, sorry, shit, okay, I didn't mean to upset you—"

"I could never!"

He needs to understand. Tim needs him to understand, a frenzied desperation clawing its way up his chest and licking like tongues of flame into his throat. Kon needs to know, he needs to understand, he needs to know—

"I could never kill you," Tim swears. His legs move on their own, closing the distance from the window seat to his desk, and he grabs a fistful of Kon's shirt. "I could never, ever, ever fucking kill you, how could you say—I couldn't, I couldn't—"

"Tim!"

Kon's hands catch his elbows, a gentle thread of TTK running up his arms to his shoulders. Kon's eyes are wide, his lips slightly parted; this close to him, Tim can smell his lip balm (strawberry-scented, lightly glossy, sheer and pink). He wants to kiss him. Knows from experience that that lip balm tastes ever-so-slightly sweet against his mouth when he does. Kon always has a tube in his pocket. He's always trying to get Tim to use it, too, complaining about his lips being chapped from the night wind.

How could he think Tim would ever—how could Tim have ever let him think he'd ever—

"Hey, I'm sorry, okay? You're right, I shouldn't have said that, I was just being stupid like usual." Kon gives his arms a gentle squeeze. His eyes are so cyan-blue, luminous in the afternoon sun, they're nearly painful to look at.

"Do you think I would?" Tim has to know. The answer might break his heart, but he knows with a dull certainty that he has to know. "Do you think I ever could?"

Kon closes his eyes and lets out a long, slow exhale. His eyelashes are thick and dark against his golden-brown cheeks. "...No," Kon finally says, and something loosens in Tim's chest. "And I hope I never fuck up bad enough to put you in that spot."

"You won't." Tim bows his head, heart pounding with relief. His brow rests against Kon's collarbone, and he tucks his face into him, hiding against his chest. "That's why I plan ahead, that's why I think about all the possibilities—I won't ever let anything get to that point. I won't. It's—I have to protect you, don't you get it?"

Kon sucks in a breath.

"Tim," he says; he sounds like someone just sucker-punched the breath from his lungs. "Sunshine."

"I'm not losing you again." Tim's fingers curl into his shirt again, holding on fiercely. "So—so don't go thinking shit like that. This isn't—it has nothing to do with me not trusting you."

"I never said it did," Kon says, his voice soft. One of his hands settles tenderly over the nape of Tim's neck; he caresses a lock of Tim's hair between his thumb and forefinger, and Tim's heart stutters with helpless, poignant fondness.

He lifts his head, looks up at those blue eyes again. Kon quirks his lips in a slight, genuine smile, and the last of the dread in Tim's stomach melts away like snow in the afternoon sun.

"I love you too, though," he says.

We're okay, right?, he doesn't say, but Kon hears anyway, because he smiles and leans in to lean their foreheads together, and their noses brush. The smattering of little freckles across his cheeks is beyond endearing.

Yeah, we're okay, that smile says. Tim tips his face up and kisses him, soft and slow; when he draws back, the faintest hint of familiar berry-flavored sweetness lingers on his lips.

50 Prompts About Devotion

#jesus this one got long um. oops?#timkon #tim #kon #rimi writes #blenderfullasarcasm #i might come back and expand this one later tbh i had to rein myself in bc i had THOUGHTS

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unseededtoast · 3 months

Text

Turtle Doves | Joel Miller

Part Seven

Chapter Directory

Series Summary: In which two broken souls connect so deeply, that if one should perish, the other would surely die of a broken heart. (slow burn, timeline changes. After TLOU1, before TLOU2, assumed knowledge of infected, uses elements from both show and game)

Series Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, death, and sexual content.

Also cross-posted on Wattpad and AO3. Link to my masterlist for everything else I’ve posted!

"When they return, I'll be waiting for them."

The eerie silence of the night amplifies every little noise. Joel managed to fall asleep about an hour ago, and each time he moves or readjusts, fear strikes me. For some reason, my mind is convinced that more infected are in here, when I know they're not. If they were, they would have made themselves known by now.

Looking back out of the window, I readjust the way I'm sitting because my legs have gone numb. My eyes burn from forcing myself to stay awake, but each time I close my eyes I'm haunted by images of the dead children. I tap my fingertips on the floor as I keep close eye on the horizon, looking for anything to signify life. My chest rises and falls dramatically as I sigh in frustration and disappointment.

Standing from the ground, I pace around the small corner I've confined myself to for Joel's comfort. I knew that he'd never let himself be lulled to sleep if I stayed close, he seems to be well guarded and generally untrusting. So I was surprised when I glanced over and saw his eyes closed and head leaned against the wall a few hours ago. Only the muffled sound of my boots hitting the floor can be heard, and I'm sure it's not loud enough to wake him.

My mind begins working through different scenarios once more. Like what is my next move if the killers don't start a fire tonight? How am I going to determine which way to go? I can't just guess at it, that would be a massive waste of time and would put me in unnecessary danger. My eyes drift back to the large windows on the wall, wishing and hoping that I'd finally see something. Each time I look and see nothing, a small part of my strong resolve dissolves.

Yawning, I find my fingers fiddling with my necklace, trying to keep myself inspired to stay here and see this through instead of feeding into my disappointment and going back to the QZ.

"Why don't we trade off?" Joel's voice startles me. My body jumps involuntarily at the unexpected sound and I look over to him, the moonlight illuminating half of his face. Once my heartbeat has settled to a semi-regular pace, I shake my head,

"No that's okay. You get more sleep, I'll be just fine." My voice is rough from staying silent for so long. Joel looks out the window.

"You haven't slept all night. You really think you can keep goin' like this?" His voice is deep and quiet, his dark eyes meet mine through the shadows. A part of me knows he's right, I can't keep functioning at my fullest capacity with limited sleep.

"I'm gonna have to." I say, my words betraying what I know is right. For some reason, I know I would feel bad if I took him up on his offer. This isn't his fight, he shouldn't have to stay awake for my sake. He shakes his head,

"You say that 'til you're face to face with death because your judgment is impaired and you make a simple mistake." It almost sounds like he's speaking from experience. I walk closer to him so that our voices can stay quiet, just in case there is something lurking around in here that we didn't see.

"But that won't be on you. And besides, this was my idea, I can't pass off my responsibility to you. You'll need the rest for your trip." I say, tucking my necklace back underneath my shirt. He stares at me for a long while, like he's trying to figure me out.

"Who are you after?" He asks. I shrug my shoulders,

"I don't know. Well, you heard what I said back at James' place, three kids were killed. They were all assaulted and mutilated. One of them died in my arms. And I had even checked that area not fifteen minutes earlier." My voice trails off as I remember the poor girl's last breaths and her blood smearing on my arms as she grasped at them for help. My gaze finds its way down to the ground and I blink away the tears.

"Who were those kids to you?" He asks, his voice sounding softer than it was a few minutes ago. I pick my eyes back up and stare straight ahead out at the city.

"I didn't know them. But nobody deserves that end, especially not kids." I say and turn my head to look at him. He just nods.

"Sleep. I'll look for them." He says and stands from his position on the ground. I shake my head and cross my arms, prepared to stand my ground on this one. I'm not sure why I'm so concerned with this stranger's wellbeing, but I can't find it in myself to be selfish and accept his offer.

"No it's oka-"

"No. Sleep. You'll need the energy." He doesn't let me finish my sentence before he turns his back on me and goes to look out the window.

I take his spot up against the wall, and lean my head back. If he's so insistent on it, then I guess I shouldn't fight it. He knows his capabilities and it's not my job to take care of him. My eyes close and the silence welcomes me to sleep quickly, maybe I needed this more than I thought.

"Hey." A shove on my shoulder wakes me and my eyes fly open. Quickly, I look around, not recognizing my surroundings. I find Joel's face above me, he's standing right beside me and must have nudged my shoulder with his leg.

"What?" I ask, suddenly alert and aware of where I am. I stand from my spot and follow him over to the window, where he presses a finger to the glass, pointing off in the distance. I follow his finger and see what I've been looking for all night. A plume of black smoke is rising to the sky.

My jaw sets tight as I watch the smoke dissipate in the air. The rising sun is visible on the horizon, I must have been out for a few hours. My arms cross in front of my chest and I make note of where it's coming from, and what streets I need to take to get there. If I leave now, there's a good chance I'll be able to reach them before they abandon their camp.

Turning away from Joel, I grab my backpack that I had put in my corner last night. I shrug it over my shoulders and tighten the straps so that the weight is evenly distributed. My boots feel like they might be getting a touch loose, so I bend down and tighten the laces. Once I'm sure I'm ready to leave, I take a centering breath and go over to Joel and extend a hand.

"Pleasure doing business with you." I say with a small smile, appreciating his willingness to stay with me. He looks down at my hand and back out the window.

"The smoke was to the west, the way I'm headed back home." Is all he says and I awkwardly drop my hand back down to my side. My eyebrows scrunch together, not entirely understanding what he's implying.

"You could go around, might add a mile or two to your trip though." I say, glancing back at the smoke plume. Joel takes a moment to look back out at the smoke before he nods his head and holds his hand out. I take it and give him the firmest handshake I can.

The two of us turn and make our way back down to the street, the sun quickly rising in the sky. If I can pull this off well, I might even be back home before sundown. Off in the distance, I can still see the smoke. Joel and I turn to one another before we part our ways.

"Stay safe out there." I say with a small smile, hoping that his trip is uninterrupted and goes well for him. He's probably got a family waiting for him, and they deserve to have him back. He gives me a curt nod,

"Good luck." Is all he says before we embark on our separate journeys.

I begin walking towards the smoke and try to get into a fighter's mindset. It's not only the people I have to worry about out here on the streets. I push every other thought out of my mind and try to get back into the headspace I had years ago when I had to fight the infected every day on patrols. They're quick and they're strong. So, I have to be quicker and smarter if I want to live. The same goes for dealing with the killers.

My stomach twists the closer I get to the smoke. I don't like that I'm essentially going in blind, who knows how many there are. It would be in my best interest to try and pull this off stealthily. If I can find some sort of vantage point before I get too close to scope out the camp that would be best. It would be really nice if I had a rifle with me, then I could find somewhere up high to camp out and take them out like that. But unfortunately, rifles are very difficult to find nowadays, even more so now that the arms trade has slowed in Boston.

I keep moving forward until I find myself close enough to the smoke where I can smell it. Taking a look around, I find an old store off to the right where I should be able to get a good angle on their camp. Swiftly and quietly, I make my way to the store with no interruptions and carefully step through the broken glass door. I'm careful to keep my footsteps level and close to the ground, so that the glass shards don't make too much noise.

The store looks like it had been ransacked years ago, and is now a mess of tipped shelves and useless products. As I make my way to the back of the store, I look at the discarded items, making sure there's nothing of use that I can grab. But it looks like all that remains are empty boxes and various electronics. Nothing that I can immediately use to my advantage. The back of the store houses the roof access point and I climb the ladder, pushing the entrance open with a small squeak.

Sunlight blinds me as I step out onto the roof and I quickly crouch down so that any wandering eyes won't be able to spot me. From my vantage point, I see a small camp. There's one tent set up and a smoldering fire in the center, billowing white smoke now that it has been put out. Squinting my eyes, I see one person standing around. But nobody else.

My blood runs cold, that has to be the killer. Or at least one of them. Maybe the other one is off patrolling the area or something. If I can go take that one out, then the other should be no problem. However, it all seems too simple, too easy. Something just doesn't feel right to me. But, maybe I'm just overthinking this and it really is going to be this simple.

I wait for a few more minutes before I leave the rooftop, just to be sure nobody else is going to show up. I don't hear anyone in the distance, so I have to guess that the coast is clear, or at least will be clear enough for me to get down there and take down the person I saw.

I stay crouched as I make my way to the camp, grabbing the curved blade out of my belt and holding it tightly in my hand. All of my focus is on staying quiet and making smart moves. My mouth goes dry as I approach the edge of the camp. Hiding behind a building, I peek out to make sure nobody else somehow showed up.

The same person is standing by their tent with their back facing me. It strikes me as odd, but maybe they got their hands on some pills and are too spaced out to know what's going on. Before I leave my cover behind the building, I close my eyes and say a silent prayer with shaky breaths.

My eyes open and I'm focused on one thing only. To kill the man that stands a few feet from me. I turn the corner and take calculated steps, avoiding debris on the ground. My breath is silent, but my heartbeat sounds incredibly loud. The man isn't turning around, he's standing oddly still and it sends a familiar panic through my body.

I freeze in my tracks as my boot steps on a rogue twig, probably meant to fuel the fire but never got used. Within the blink of an eye, the man turns around and it doesn't take me long to register that he's not alive, well, not humanly. The man's reanimated body screams out and runs toward me, hands outreached to grab me.

I dodge his swing and plunge my knife towards his head. The recently-turned man is fast, and my knife only catches a few inches of his throat. I don't have enough time to react to the missed slash before I'm tackled to the ground, the man's teeth inch closer and closer to my neck as I try to fight him off.

My panic somehow makes me more focused, and old maneuvers feel like muscle memory. I bring my knee up and hit the man, throwing off the equilibrium so I can get the upper hand. As he's thrown off balance, I use the momentum from my kick to bring my body above his, my hips straddling his torso. Without thinking, I raise my knife and bring it down into the man's head. His body goes limp and twitches as he dies once again.

Blood splatters my hands and forearms as I pull the knife from the man's skull. I use the man's green shirt to clean my blade and then I stand from the ground, looking down at the corpse. He looks recently turned, maybe a few hours old at this point. Turning around, I look for any more runners that may have been tipped off to the struggle, but find nothing except empty streets and silence.

Taking advantage of an empty camp, I start rummaging around for anything they left behind. I check the man's pockets first, finding nothing but an old cigarette. Next, I search the tent and find an old map shoved underneath the sleeping bag. Unfolding the map, I see several marks on it.

The Boston QZ is circled, and I see a few other cities with the same circle. Other places are marked with the Firefly symbol. Sprinkled throughout the country there are some areas marked with stars. One location is marked with a large 'T'. There's no indication of what these symbols mean, but I can deduce some things from common sense. I can only guess that the circles represent QZ areas and the Firefly symbol is where known Firefly outposts are; that much is fairly obvious. The T might represent where these people came from, but it's all the way out in Nebraska. As for the stars, I don't have the faintest idea.

I fold the map up and put it in my bag to study later once I'm not out in the open. The rest of the tent holds nothing of value to me and so I move out and check the fire. There are scraps of paper in there mixed with twigs. Reaching in, I grab the largest scraps I can find, and see that there's only a few legible words left on each. The one scrap says "eliminate" and the other says "immune".

Moving on and not dwelling on what those words might mean, I tear apart the rest of the camp to look for anything useful. Beside the fire there's a second sleeping bag and I reach my hand down in it, pulling out another piece of paper. These people love writing notes to one another it seems.

The words on the paper are a lot more useful than the scraps I found in the fire. I read it quickly and read it a second time, not believing what I'm seeing. The note is almost like an instruction guide. It tells whoever was here what their mission was. It looks like their mission was to hit all the QZ's in the northeastern part of the United States and kill children between the ages of thirteen and seventeen indiscriminately. It doesn't say why, but on the bottom of the paper the Firefly logo is drawn.

I put the paper in my bag along with the scraps and map. What do the Fireflies have to do with this? Going back to the man's body, I look for the telltale sign of the Fireflies, but see no pendant around the man's neck. But what I do find is the letter 'T' carved into the skin of his chest.

Making sure there's nothing else to find in the camp, I move on so that if someone does come by I'm not caught off guard. I return to the store rooftop to monitor the camp some more. If someone does come back, they'll need to be killed for their involvement as well. Nobody is going to be spared from this group if I can help it.

The sunlight begins fading, and it's becoming abundantly clear to me that nobody is coming back to this camp. Infected probably came by and they scrambled, leaving their friend to his undead fate.

Back on the move, I decide to go west. I know there's more of these people out here and if I'm right about the map, they might be going back to where they came from in Nebraska. And even if they aren't going there now, they will eventually. And when they return, I'll be waiting for them.

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