#this guy has Been Through Some Shit and as i get older i only appreciate him more and more

[exercise-of-trust]

*pops up from an irregularly scheduled lotr reread with blood in my teeth* your honor i simply care so much about him

(lagoon nebula photo by judy schmidt, whose astrophotography is, just, so incredibly cool, and you should check out the rest of her work if you like this kind of thing)

#boromir #the lord of the rings #lotr fanart #tolkien fanart #WOE. CAPTAIN-GENERAL BE UPON YE #*grabs your face in my hands* gondor's been the first line of defense against an active mordor for 20 years culminating in the destruction #of the osgiliath bridge in 3018 of which boromir faramir and 2 other guys are the only survivors. he leaves for rivendell TWO WEEKS later. #this guy has Been Through Some Shit and as i get older i only appreciate him more and more #subcreation #sinome maruvan ar hildinyar

[juletheghoul]

new beginnings

an; Joel has completely overtaken my brain and I'm not mad about it. I kept thinking about how Joel would feel about being approached, and openly desired after everything that happens between game one and game two-although here, he doesn't lie to Ellie. (I won't say more in case anyone hasn't seen the full play through but iykyk) Enjoy a semi-well adjusted Joel. Thanks to @wheresarizona for talking me through this💜 and to @foli-vora for being the bestest cheerleader 💜

reblogs are appreciated

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader

Word count: 5.2k

Warnings: 18+ no minors, big-legal age gap, piv sex, dirty talk, creampie, a few spanks, generally clueless Joel, Ellie being a little shit (affectionately) alcohol, let me know if I missed any!

Masterlist part 2

He’d barely taken a sip of his drink when she sat down at his booth. 

“Hi.” She smiled brightly, mischief and amusement shining in her pretty eyes. He frowned at her. 

“Hi-” He took a look around, vaguely wondering if she’d mistaken him for someone else but she pressed on, introducing herself. 

“Now’s when you’d introduce yourself back.” Her smile remained, her eyes scanning him, something like interest arranging itself on her features. 

“I’m Joel.” He straightened out, watching her with growing confusion. 

“Hi Joel, it’s nice to meet you.” She stuck out her hand, waiting for him patiently. He obliged, giving hers a firm shake. 

“You need somethin’?” His tone was neutral, maybe a bit gruff but she laughed. 

“Depends. You offering anything?” She bit her lip, her drink grasped against her chest and for the first time in years Joel was shocked into silence. She was flirting with him.

“I–uh, I’m good.” He kicked himself mentally. It wasn’t how he’d meant to decline, she wasn’t deterred though, instead she rose, smile still present. 

“Come find me if you change your mind.” She winked then, and disappeared through the crowd. Leaving him with his drink, and his thoughts. 

-

You asked about him as you went about your day, bringing him up as casually as you could with your hands elbow deep in the dirt. 

“Joel? Joel Miller?” Tommy had been looking for Maria, overhearing you mention his name. 

“Joel yes, not sure about his last name-” He was smiling curiously and it clicked. “Is he your brother?” 

“Well, if we’re thinkin’ of the same guy then yes. Big, grumpy old man? Grey hair? Sour expression?” The horse he was leading knickered softly behind him. 

“Gorgeous older man, broad as all get out? Yes–is he single?” The dirt clumped by your feet as you transferred seedlings into bigger nursery pots. Tommy laughed. 

“Shit yeah, he’s single. Not sure how he’d react to you hittin’ on him though.” 

“He seemed a bit annoyed, and confused.” You conceded, “I am very interested in him.” You sighed to yourself, remembering the broadness of him. 

“You already hit on him?” His eyebrows flew up into his hairline. “God I wish I coulda been there to see that. What’d he say?” 

“Well, he basically said -I’m good- and frowned, he seemed a little lost which leads me to believe he doesn’t get approached much.” It was a crazy thought, that no one else would take their chance and speak to him. 

“Yeah I bet he did-” he was leading the horse away. “-he’s a bit closed off, but a good guy. Be patient with him!” He was off then, leading the horse towards the stables. 

-

It was another few days before you saw him at the bar again, that same annoyed expression on his handsome face. You wasted no time. 

“Hi Joel.” You slid into the spot next to him, looking up at him through your lashes. “Nice to see you again.” He frowned at you.

“Hi–” He signalled to the bartender, “You need somethin’ from me?” 

“Some company?” He pursed his lips and thoughts of kissing him flooded your mind. “Thought maybe you could teach me where you learned to be such a great conversationalist?” You raised your eyebrows and almost despite himself, he let out a bark of laughter, but caught himself quickly. 

“I am only here for a drink.” The bartender brought a glass over then, pouring him a healthy measure of something a dark amber colour. He turned with the cup in hand, facing you with something like uncertainty before making his way to the same booth from your first meeting. 

“So, Joel. Tell me about yourself.” You sat across from him, making yourself comfortable. 

“Not much to tell.” He took a gulp of his drink, scanning the room before his eyes fell back on you. They scanned you just as they did the room. “What about you then?” 

“What about me?” You raised your eyebrows. 

“I don’t think you were here when I came the first time.” He took another gulp. “Or maybe you were. I don’t know.”

“I wasn’t, I arrived about a month ago and now I work in agriculture.”

“Agriculture.” He repeated, “Growing the food.”

“That’s right, growing the food.” You nursed your own drink, taking in his features in the low light of the bar. “How old are you Joel?” He lets out a heavy sigh.

“I’d say fifty-six, fifty-seven come fall.” He gulped down the rest of his drink, “And you?”

“Somewhere in my mid thirties in a few months, could be thirty-seven or thirty-eight. I stopped counting a long time ago.” His frown deepened for a moment before he rose abruptly. 

“Enjoy the rest of your night.” With that he was gone.

-

The food always surprised him, no matter how long he’d been in Jackson, it always floored him how good it was. Warm and comforting, nothing like the dry stale things he’d eaten for–well years. 

Ellie was speaking to him but he was too focused on the food in front of him, hadn’t even realized he wasn’t listening until he felt her smack his arm. 

“Hello? Earth to Joel? Am I talking to my goddamn self?” Her face was pinched in annoyance. 

“Sorry, what?” He tore his attention away from his bowl and made himself listen. 

“I said—“ she sighed big, “Tommy says he can help us fix the garage for me.” She spooned more food into her mouth, “I want it to be like a loft.” 

“Mhm.” He grunted into his bowl, “Sure.”

“Hey Joel, nice to see you during the day.” He hadn’t noticed her come in. Seeing her standing there with what looked to be a basket of different produce made him sputter, luckily he didn’t choke. “Hi-“ she spoke to Ellie then, introducing herself with that same beaming smile she always wore. He found himself thinking about how pretty she was.

“I’m Ellie, nice to meet you.” There was something in Ellie’s voice he didn’t like, a cheekiness and he just knew he’d be hearing about this later. “So, how do you know Joel?”

“Oh we met at the bar, are you two related?” She gestured between the two of them.

“Somethin’ like that.” He spoke low, unsure how to answer the simple question.

“He’s just my asshole caretaker. The bar sounds fun though, Joel—should I leave you two alone?” She was enjoying this way too much.

“No need, I’m just making a delivery, but hopefully I’ll see you around.” She bit her lip, watching him intently as she moved a few steps away. “It was nice to meet you Ellie.” With a final blinding smile, she was off towards the kitchen.

He sighed big at the way Ellie practically vibrated next to him.

“Don’t.” He warned.

“Oh but you know I fucking will!” She was giddy with excitement.

“Stop it Ellie.”

“So, when’s the wedding?” He pinched his brow, “Can I be your best man or person or whatever? I’ve never been to a wedding—“

“Ellie quit it, it’s nothin’.” He pushed his food away, no longer in the mood to eat with the way his stomach felt, chucking it up to annoyance at Ellie and definitely not adrenaline at seeing her.

“What? Joel are you fucking blind? That woman likes you! She likes you a lot, you gonna ask her out?” He sighed again, rising from his seat. 

“Ellie, I am beggin’ you, please don’t make a big fuss.” He gave her a hard stare. “I don’t wanna talk about this anymore.” He quickly put his jacket on, ignoring the way she rolled her eyes at him. 

“Yeah yeah, you goddamn grump.” She went back to eating, leaving him to get on with his day and he couldn’t have been more grateful. 

- 

You found him at the same booth a few days later, nursing what looked to be his regular drink of choice and once again sat with him. This time though, as you tried to make conversation it finally hit you. His attitude didn’t change, his frown remained in place, his answers were short and your heart sank. 

What you’d hoped was just a gruff exterior, a facade waiting to be taken down was now looking more like his general personality. 

I think I’m barking up the wrong tree here. 

The realisation weighed heavy in your gut as you sat there with him, forcing a conversation he obviously didn’t want to have. You watched him struggling, the cogs in his mind turning, no doubt looking for a way to get out of having to entertain you. 

“So–you got any family alive–?” His voice was unsure and suddenly you felt foolish. 

“Nope, all dead. Well, thanks for the company, I’ll leave you to it.” You shot back the rest of your drink and rose quickly, ignoring the shame and hurt swirling in your chest, moving away from him to lick your wounds by yourself. 

-

“What do you want me to say Joel?” Tommy was irritated, his back turned to Joel while he went about cleaning his weapons. 

“I’d like to know why is all, I don’t get it.” He stood at the door to the workshop, his arms crossed.

“God knows why but she’s sweet on you.” The rifle was taken apart on the workbench, holding most of Tommy’s attention. “But like I said before, just talk to her, or let her know if you aren’t interested.” 

“She’s a beautiful young woman, and I’m a grumpy old man.” He couldn’t help but kick at the floor, his mind a whir of inadequacy and confusion. 

“You got that fuckin’ right.” It was said under his breath but Joel heard it just the same. 

“I haven’t been with anyone since Tess, Tommy.” He sighed out loud. His brother's attention turned to him fully then, the tools in his hands now dropped to the table. 

“I know that, you don’t have to be with anyone if you don’t want to. Now this girl likes you, and it sounds to me like you like her back. So be a grown-up and talk to her.” His younger brother gave him a half smile, sending Joel away with more than enough food for thought. 

-

He’d had a pep talk with himself on the way over to the bar. 

Smile. 

Ask questions. 

Be nice to her.

It was a simple list but ever since things had gone to shit, Joel had found it hard to keep up with friendly niceties. Not much room for that in the world of today, things were different here though and he had to get with the program, or he’d be looking at the rest of his time on this earth alone. 

He thought back to how things had been with Tess, how naturally they'd come together, how easy–but it only seemed easy to him because Tess had been the one to go to work. She’d taken the raw anger and muscle that was Joel and shaped him, honed him and directed him towards their common goal. She’d initiated every aspect of their relationship and it was only now that he realised how grateful he’d been.

The bar was busy, his usual booth was taken so he stood near the counter, waiting for the barkeep to bring him his usual drink. His eyes raked through the room. He ignored the relief he felt when he finally spotted her sitting with a group of people he didn’t know, watching the easy way she smiled, the way her face lit up when she laughed. She spotted him then and he frowned to see her dim a bit. She raised her glass to him in greeting, but she didn’t join him like he thought she would. 

So he waited. 

He had one drink, thinking maybe she didn’t want to be rude to her friends. He had another drink, his eyes finding their way back to where she sat every few minutes, perking up when finally she rose from the table. He ran through his notes to himself as she weaved her way through the patrons, but instead of finding him, she waved goodbye to the bartender, and walked out into the night. 

Maybe she was tired. 

He thought to himself as he walked back home, ignoring the tiny voice in his head, the one that told him she changed her mind. 

He shook the thought away. She just needed some effort, what he needed to do was walk up to her and sit with her for a change. He needed to take the initiative and the next time he saw her at the bar, he would.

-

She wasn’t there. 

He asked around for her, noting that no one had seen her at the bar in a few days. 

He didn’t want to admit that he was worried about her, didn’t want to say the words out loud, not to himself, or to Tommy, or god forbid Ellie. He was, though and the feeling lingered in the pit of his stomach, a boulder he carried alone. 

He sighed, annoyed with himself at not having been able to just express the way she made him feel, to tell her that just as she’d been looking at him - god knows why - he’d been looking back at her. He sighed again, thankful her house was just another block away, reminding himself that this town was safe, that she’d probably be busy. 

-

The sky was clear enough to see the stars, the Milky Way a great swathe across the sky. Too bright to be inside and so you’d made yourself comfy on your porch, the cooling cup of tea in your hands  your only companion for the night. 

I should see if I can find myself a dog or something.

The thought bounces around with growing interest, would be nice to have something to cuddle and keep you company.

There’s movement just beyond the walkway up towards your porch and for a second you think it might just be people walking home from the movie but the shape is familiar.

“Joel?” You’re surprised to see him here, “does Maria need something?” You’re on high alert.

“No, I-uh, I came lookin’ for you,” he slows his stride midway up the walkway, 

“Oh, okay—you need something?”

“I was just wonderin’ where you been. Haven’t seen you at the bar, and last time you didn’t come talk to me. Wanted to see if you were okay.” He scratched at the back of his neck, his discomfort apparent.

“It’s alright Joel.” You let out a breath, grateful for his worry but resigned. “You don’t have to check up on me. I can take a hint, I figured I’d leave you be.” You gave him a small smile. 

“What do you mean?” He took another step forward, inching his way to the foot of your porch.

“I mean, I get it. You’re not interested and it’s okay. I can deal with a crush, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable because you don’t like me back. I’m a big girl I’ve been rejected before and no doubt I’ll be rejected again—“

“I’m not rejectin’ you I just—“ He took one step up.

“Really Joel, It’s okay, I’ll be fine and you don’t have to explain yourself.” 

“What is it you like? I mean physically, you find me attractive I guess but why? I’m a grouchy old man.” He crossed his arms, his face pinched with an almost angry curiosity. You couldn’t help but laugh a little.

“Why am I attracted to you? I don’t know Joel. I think you’re gorgeous for one. You’re big and strong, and I like that you’re older than me. I like your face and your hands, and when I look at you I just wanna sit in your lap and kiss.” It came out without your permission but there it was, honesty. “I won’t say you aren’t a little scary, in the way that I can see you’ve probably done some things you thought you’d never have to do, but that’s the world we live in now I suppose. Can’t say I haven’t done some of that stuff too.”

“You think all that of me?” He took another step up.

“Yes, now if you don’t want that kind of attention from me, I can understand that and eventually I’ll get over you.” His hair was combed back, the grey of it catching the light of the moon.

“I don’t want you to get over me.” One final step and now he’s standing over you. “I’ll never understand why you think those things about me but I’d like to try, maybe get a drink together like a real date.”

“You want to take me out on a date?” Your heart raced, butterflies fluttering around in your belly.

“Yes ma’am. I think you’re real pretty, and I’d like to take you out for a drink. ” He smiles, making you swoon a little. “Come on, we got time.” He holds his hand out, and you take it without hesitation. 

—-

The walk home from the bar and your official first date was more akin to a stroll, the two of you weaving your way through the streets until your little house came into view. His voice was so soothing, the low pitch of it the soundtrack for the trip back and you did your best to enjoy the sound of it. He stopped when you reached the walkway and that pesky honesty bubbled up and out of your mouth.

“You ever gonna kiss me Joel?” His lips looked so soft, the plush of them a subject of many of your daydreams.

“I was plannin’ on it, was waitin’ til’ we got to your front door.” His hands dug their way into his pockets, a nervous gesture.

Wordlessly you threaded your arm with his and led him up the steps towards your door, hardly able to contain the smile and once you’d made it there, he went for it. Shy and tentative at first, a soft press of his lips to yours but it quickly changed. His tongue swiped across your bottom lip, begging for entrance just as his hands moved from your shoulders to rest at your hips.

You can’t help but whimper into his mouth, can’t help but press yourself closer, stand on your tippy toes to be as near to him as you can be. 

“Come inside-“ you breathe the words onto his mouth when you both finally pull away. “Come inside and kiss me some more.” You wrap one arm around his neck, pressing the palm of the other onto his face, satisfying the urge to run your fingers through the greying patches of hair. 

“Yeah? You want me to come in?” He pulls you close, his big palms on your back, the warmth of them seeping through your layers. 

“Yes, do you want to?” You press kisses to his jaw, to his lips and neck, the beating of his heart thrums against your lips with every kiss you press to his throat. 

“God, yes.” His breathy admission makes you drip, makes you rush to open the door and pull him inside. 

He falls onto the couch and you’re close behind him, your knees bracketing his hips to fulfil all of your favourite fantasies. The smile on his face when you settle onto his lap heats your blood, it urges you to slip your hands around his neck and hold him close, to grind your aching core against the hardening pillar of his sex underneath you while you kiss him just how you’ve been wanting to. 

He moans into your mouth. His hands sweep downwards from your ribs, they land heavy on your ass and pull you closer, coaxing a steady river of slick to drip out and onto your panties. 

“I want you so bad Joel.” You bite his lip, relishing the groan he gifts you with. “I’m so fucking wet for you.” Your fingers slip through the soft waves at the back of his neck. His eyes find you and he lets out a low Fuck, his eyes lustblown in the low light of your cozy little livingroom. “Can I sit on your cock?” You ask him in your sweetest voice, “Please?” 

He lets out a shaky breath, his forehead pressed to yours and he nods. 

“Yes baby, you can have whatever you want.” 

Within a few frantic minutes, his cock was out, resting heavily against the softness of his belly. You can’t help but stare at it while moving away to quickly shed your bottom layers. Your mouth watered at the sight of him. He’s so thick, the head of him an angry red and sticky with his own arousal. 

You sat back onto his thighs, moving up to notch him at your dripping entrance–his hands guided you down slowly, until you sat flush and he was sheathed to the hilt. 

“Fuck, fuck you feel so fucking good.” His eyes are shut tight and you sit motionless for a moment, breathing through the delicious stretch of him. 

“So do you, you’re fucking huge Joel.” You clench around him and relish the filthy moan he lets out. His hands are heavy, gripping the globes of your ass, holding you tight to him. 

Your heart is pounding, both in your chest and in your cunt, you bounce to its beat–unable to hold out any longer. You let out a hiss at the way his fingers dig into your flesh, relishing the thought of feeling the evidence of your coupling in the days to come.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He grits the words out, his mouth pressed against the collar of your shirt—too many layers. It only takes a moment to open your shirt, to pull down the cups of your bra and even less than that to have his mouth attach itself to the stiff peak of your nipple. 

It was obscene the way he moaned into your skin, his mouth a steady suck while you did your best to bounce, slick seeping out around him, finally finding the rhythm that inches you closer to your peak but his eyes close tight, reinforcing his grip on your hips.

“Oh fuck, fuck baby wait—oh god I’m gonna come—“ he let out a shudder against the spit slicked skin of your breast and you felt him twitch inside you, felt the spurt of him deep.

It was much faster than you expected. Faster than you’d hoped; you couldn’t help but be incredibly flattered.

“Jesus Christ–” His face was pressed up against your chest, his hands sweeping slowly from your ass, up to rub your back. “I’m sorry, feel like a fuckin’ teenager again.” 

“Don’t be, hell of a way to make a girl feel good about herself.” You tried to ignore the way your own climax was slipping away from you. “Makes me feel sexy.” You pulled his face up and pressed a soft kiss to his mouth. 

“You are sexy, incredibly sexy.” He looked so beautiful in that moment, with the flush crawling up his neck and stars in his eyes. “But I want you to come.” His hand moved, his thumb slipping into your mouth, the pad of it sliding against your tongue for a moment before he slipped it between the lips of your sex to circle around your neglected little clit. 

You couldn’t help but clench around him–couldn’t help but tighten your hold onto the grey waves of his hair as he kept up his dizzying rhythm, 

“I want you to feel good.” His voice was a velvet rasp, “I want you to come around my cock.” His mouth found your nipple then, his tongue laving at it mercilessly.

It was right there. The friction of his thumb just right, his mouth a steady suck. Heat crawled up your spine, bloomed in your core and with a final swirl you clenched around him, waves of pleasure crashing through you like waves on a shore.

“Good god—“ you folded into him, arms wrapped around his neck tight.

“I feel like I could melt into this sofa.” He was blissed out, softening inside you.

“Me too.” You pressed kisses to his cheeks, showering him with post coital affection.

“We won’t though.” He had a mischievous glint in his eye when he looked up, “let me catch my breath, then you’re gonna get it.” 

-

His grip is tight on your hips, the span of his hands on your skin is almost dizzying but you couldn’t focus on that just now. Instead you focused on the way he filled you, on the way his cock was splitting you open in the best way possible. You focused on the wet, obscene sounds coming from between your legs. 

You focused on how wet you were, on how it seeped out around him and down your thighs, on the comforting feel of his body pressed against yours. 

“That’s it baby, take it–” He snapped his hips faster and you had to put your arms up in front to keep from moving up and bumping your face into the headboard. “This what you wanted?” He bent forward, one hand sliding up the soft skin of your belly, up to hold the weight of your breast in his hand, your nipple tightening almost painfully against his palm. All you could do was moan, throaty cries of pleasure escaping from somewhere in your throat. 

His confidence was high, you could hear it in the breathy laugh he let out at your inability to speak. Could feel it as he slowed down from a heavy thrust to a slow grind, his groin pressed up tightly against the swell of your ass. 

He gave you no warning. 

A loud crack–a heavy spank made you gasp into the damp sheets under your mouth. 

It was a shock, but a very welcome one. Heat spreads through your face, it tingles its way along your skin; into your breasts and through your core and you feel a wave of slick drip out around you but he’s silent. There’s a flicker of doubt in the way he stays completely still. 

“Talk to me baby.” His voice is soft; chaste. His hand soothes over the stinging skin where his palm had landed. 

“Do it again.” You barely recognize your own voice, a low wanton thing.  

He obeys, another loud crack on the other cheek as his thrusts pick up. This time his pace is brutal, his hands landing yet another smack before he’s bent over and reaching around, his fingers a delicious swirl at your clit. 

“Soak my cock, be good for me and come.” His voice is in your ear, his teeth taking your lobe into his mouth while he bodily shoves you over the edge and into a blinding climax. You clench around the thickness of him, the muscles in your thighs tensing as you crest and the force of it pulls him under with you. A filthy moan in your ear before you feel the hot spurt of him deep inside. 

“Jesus Christ Joel–” You breathe hard into the sheets. He pulls out with a hiss and rolls to lay beside you.

“Good?” You can hear the pride swelling in his chest. “Did I redeem myself for comin’ too quick downstairs?” His drawl is more pronounced now with the way he almost slurs his words. You see the relaxation in his face when you turn to look at him. It looks good on his handsome face, almost like seeing a glimpse of a younger Joel, some long lost carefree version of him. If there had ever been that version of him at all. It was a nice image to hold in your mind, him–young and smiling. 

You laugh, giddy with pleasure. 

“It’s not a big deal, really flattering actually.” You trace a scar on his chest idly, the solid beat of his heart reassuring under your fingers. 

“Embarrasin’ more like. I didn’t want you to think I was some two-pump chump.” His hand holds yours to his skin and you ignore the way your heart races, ignore the way it has nothing to do with the remnants of your orgasm. “You got somethin’ I can clean you up with?” He pulls away to sit up with a groan. 

“What a gentleman.” You follow him. You can feel him dripping out of you when you slide to sit next to him at the edge of the bed, the perverse pleasure making you beam. “I got a better idea–” You stand and pull him up, “shower time.” 

“Yes ma’am.” He smiles, and follows you to your bathroom.

---

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#joel miller x f!reader #joel miller fic #joel miller x reader #joelyyyy #joel x reader #joel the last of us #joel miller x female reader #joel miller #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #tlou #tlou fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal

[pupcuck]

CAROL OF THE BALLS !

ft. leon s. kennedy x fem!reader x dante (dmc)

tags. i made them brothers, cucking, threesome, age gap, size kink, ass play, leon eats his cum so incest, cum eating, creampie, p in v

note. SORRY FOR BEING LATE AGAIN i have been tweaking :3 but um whatever! ignore typos or i’ll detonate :3 feedback n rbs much appreciated !!! ooc bc dante is literally a well-meaning old man but i have to make him sleazy for porn without plot purposes sorry!! i also cut the smut short bc. bc i wanted to get this out so sorry if it’s jolty 😭

tumblr has started to remove fics that use tw non-con, tw incest and any nsfw tags in general. for this reason, as i’d like my fic to appear in the tags so i can have the same reach as other authors, please understand that this fic contains dark content under the cut. reading this comes at your own risk.

Your love for Leon, much to his dismay, is no match for your pursuit of cock. His poor girl, you suffer from this awful disease at such a young age, the kind that tears a family apart - wandering hands they call it. In Leon’s terms, it would be something more akin to cock-driven. That’s your motivation, and if you see one you like, you’re gonna get it. Fuck, you’d do rocket science on the spot for a nice, fat cock. Unfortunately, it just so happens to be his older brother that you’ve set your eye on. And Leon’s older brother is the most shameless asshole since, like, god, Mark Antony? That guy was obnoxious, right? Fucking his best friend’s wife and all.

Dante is that obnoxious but amplified tenfold, if you can even imagine that. He’s got a big mouth to match his stature, and, you guessed it, he’s got one hell of a dick stuffed into those tacky leather pants. And you’re taking a very obvious gander at what sort of goodies he’s got tucked away. You’re playing footsie with him under the table for fuck’s sake. Leon can tell by the way you’re slouched too far back in your seat, but it’s mainly ‘cause he dropped his fork and when he lifted the table cloth, he found your foot rubbing along Dante’s inner thigh while his fingers toyed with the frilly cuff of your sock. Bringing you home for Christmas was a mistake. You’re too precious to give up and too hard to reign in. He should just store you away in a jar of some sort, poke a few holes in the lid so you can breathe, a bird cage perhaps, or maybe a crate?

Knowing you, you’d manage to get your paws on Dante either way. A cage would be no problem, just slip it right on in through the gaps! A makeshift gloryhole if you will. Honestly, he’d prefer you to pick Vergil over Dante, at least the guy has it all together, at least he’s not a washed up loser who can’t pay his bills, at least he’s not Dante. You’d think as the younger sibling you’d turn out better, right? It’s like baking a cake, the first time it’s shit, and the second time it’s better. Not soft in the centre, not burnt to a crisp on the sides - just don’t work like that around here. Instead, Leon’s parents had the stronger, taller, hotter, bigger one first, then little Leon to top it all off. Little ‘cause he’s 5’10 with insoles only.

Oh yeah, you can ask around town. Leon Kennedy? That guy’s decent, nice face, nice smile, nice guy. Dante? One that walks around like his dick is weighing him down, fuckin’ pornstar face, can tell if a girl likes him when she’s got her ankles behind her head – yeah, I know him, he broke my parents marriage up, and he fucked my sister, and my auntie, yeah, the one that came over for the holidays. I don’t really mind ‘cause he gave it to me after too! Oh, no way, I couldn’t do that with Leon, he’s more of the settle down type, don’t you think?

No one has actually said that and yes, he is more of the settle down type, but Leon has had his fair share of flings, and contrary to popular belief - missionary is not the only position he knows. He knows how to put a girl on her knees, no stranger to it. Maybe, just maybe, his dick is the problem. It’s not small, not quite big, it’s adequate, or perhaps it’s inadequate and that’s why you’re offering to wash the dishes alongside Dante. Leon hasn’t seen Dante do a household chore since 1976, that’s when Leon was in the womb if you didn’t know. Meaning he hasn’t ever seen Dante do a single chore, not even pick up his own underwear the fucking slob. And don't even get him started on you. The girl who struggles to get the vacuum working when Leon’s not around, then you do it half heartedly for five minutes before complaining about your back aching.

He’s pacing outside the kitchen like a guard on duty, listening in on your conversation with Dante, it’s absolutely thrilling. Leon couldn’t think of a better way to spend his time, he just loves to hear his girlfriend flirt her way into his brother’s pants.

Oh, your hands are so big, Dante! Wow, they’re so much bigger than mine. My goodness, Dante, you could pick me up, like, sooooo easy! I wonder what else is big! Has your hair always been that colour? No, that’s so not true, Dante, doesn’t make you look old at all! It suits you, don’t look a day over twenty. Duh, of course I’m joking, I like ‘em old anyway. Do you babe? You should go ahead and suck his old man cock, sure Dante wouldn’t mind, and it’s not like Leon has any say. You’re young and fickle - this is what he deserves for dating a girl your age. What more do you know than dick?

“It’s okay, he won’t wake up,” Your voice is muffled in his ears, distant despite you being less than an inch away from him. He shifts, feels around for your warmth, clasps an arm that’s way too jacked.

Leon’s brother is remarkable really, he turns over after a struggle with the bedside lamp, sees Dante’s teeth gleaming, your little hands splayed flat across his chest. He’d go at him, make a feast of it, he wishes for the tearing of Dante’s throat to be biblical. God, Kane and Abel have nothing on them. “You gotta be fuckin’ kidding me.” His digs his nails into hardened muscle.

“Please, baby,” You beg him, beg is an exaggeration, from you it’s a command. Like, not Oh, please, Leon! May I suck and fuck your brother while you lay beside us? More of a Please, shut your mouth and let me have this, Leon. I haven’t had good dick ever since I started dating you.

He falters, “No, babe,” Leon shakes his head, lip curling upwards in both disgust and wonderment at the boldness of your request. “No, are you crazy?”

“C’mon, Leon,” Dante pouts, and it’s disturbing to see a grown man with no upper lip do that. “She just wants to have a little fun.”

“Don’t— don’t get involved, this is between me and her.” His attempt at assertion is only met with amusement.

“Leon, please?” You bat your lashes. Beat. His heart hammers in his chest. Then Leon closes his eyes like a good boy, he’s always been great at taking orders. Whatever. Fuck his brother to your heart’s content.

“He not treatin’ you right, sweet thing?” Dante murmurs into your neck, his thick fingers parting your slippery folds, rubbing deft circles on your twitching clit.

He grits his teeth so hard they squeak. Leon treats you perfectly well. Surely, saying otherwise—

“No, Dante,” You pout up at his brother, a small hand curled around his wrist as he pushes his fingers knuckle-deep into your slick cunt.

Stupid bitch. Leon has never been inclined to call a woman a bitch, total lie, but Claire told him it’s not appropriate, and Claire is usually right about most things. Not right now though, girls are fucking brutal.

“No?” Dante coos, “My little brother can’t please his girl? Can’t get this little cunt soaked?” There’s a wet smack, and you gasp.

“Don’t do that.” Leon can’t help himself, it’s like he insists on making a fool of himself. “She doesn’t like that.”

“Do it again.” You plead, “Dante, please, feels so good.” The crooked smile Dante gives him is humiliation at its finest.

He draws his hand back, spanks your cunt, the fleshy part of his palm mashing against your clit. “You don’t even know what your girl likes.”

“I do.” Leon’s chest aches, his dick aches even more, feels like it’s about to over-inflate and pop.

“Bet you like it rough, don’t you, babe?” Dante asks, presses his nose into your neck, licks a stripe up your jugular.

“She does not.”

“Yes.” You nod crazy like a dashboard bobblehead.

Dante raises his brows when he glances sideways at Leon, “He’s not givin’ it to you is he? You want him all up in your guts, baby, don’t you?”

“Yes, yes, god, please,” You whine, clit thrumming beneath Dante’s fingertips. “Want it here.” You bring Dante’s hand to rest on your abdomen, “wanna feel you here, please.”

“Dirty little bitch,” Dante coaxes an orgasm out of you with his fingers alone.

“Don’t speak to her like that.”

“I’ll speak to her how I want,” He retorts, “She likes it, ‘s why you’re gettin’ me all wet, isn’t it, baby?”

“Mhm,” Your eyes follow his every move, and Leon has never seen you so enthralled during sex. He’s used to you laying on your back like a dead girl, legs over his shoulders, letting out the occasional grunt of discomfort.

His head dips low, the sheets are long forgotten, crumpled at the foot of the bed. Dante’s big hands spread your cheeks apart, licks into your cunt, flicks his tongue over your clit— and you moan like you never have before. Back bowing off the bed, covering your mouth with a balled-up fist, chest heaving.

“That good, baby?” Dante hums, his teeth scrape over your clit when he pulls back the hood, and you squirm.

“So good, so good— ‘s so fuckin’ good, god!”

Alright, can’t be that good, now you’re just putting it on to piss Leon off. You’ve never sucked his dick well enough for him to moaning like that. Then again, his dick doesn’t have a million nerve endings. The sounds Dante is making are downright lewd, unnecessary even, you’re dripping all over his face, his chin wet and shiny with your pussy— then he makes the jump. A move that’s bold even for a dude as outrageous as Dante, his pink tongue follows the natural trail from pussy to asshole. Licks the puckered rim till you relax, and there’s no resistance from you whatsoever. You’re just letting this grimy bastard eat your fucking ass? Even Leon hasn’t gotten that far, not that he’s asked, not that he’s ever thought about it - something about the second hole just feels wrong.

Dante spits on it, manages to get his thumb in nicely, then he sits up, leaves you empty. “Just a little girl takin’ big things, aren’t you? How am I s’posed to fit in this tight cunt without breaking it?” He tilts his head to the side, eyes droopy like he’s drunk on pussy juice alone. Probably is. Shit is potent. Especially when you’ve been nose-deep.

His brother only smiles, gives a pointed look to Leon’s dick straining against the fabric of his boxers, the sticky wet patch. “That’s why she wants cock so bad, huh?” Leon is not small. His dick is just right, it’s fine, it’s sufficient. There’s nothing wrong with it, but he cups a hand over his bulge to hide it from Dante.

Dante shucks off his pants, and yeah, Leon really is the little brother in every sense. He might as well just kill himself at this point, there is no winning against a dick that fat. Shit’s so big it’s hanging downwards, so heavy it can’t even hold itself up. Some big fucking balls to level it out. Jesus, is he seriously admiring his brother’s dick right now? Listen, it’s just got some real weight to it, and Leon has to say he’s impressed. Only seen this breed of horsecock in porn.

“Gosh, Dante,” You’re lovestruck, cockstruck, a trembling hand reaches forward to cup his heavy balls, then wrap it around the base, and it’s honestly so big your thumb and middle finger struggle to meet.

“Don’t throw her around like that, oh my god.” Leon frowns, catches your head from knocking against the headboard when Dante manhandles you onto your front. “Just be careful.” If you told Leon he’d be watching his brother fuck his little girlfriend from behind with a thumb in her ass, he’d say, yeah, sounds about right. Some shit that would happen to a guy like me.

“She can take it.” Dante says, then he’s sheathed inside with a single glide of his cock, no resistance whatsoever. You’re that wet. Dripping down your thighs. God, he’s never seen you get so worked up. “Can’t you, babe?”

“Yes, please, just give it to me please, Dante,” Now that’s begging, not that shit you were doing earlier. “Wan’ it so bad, please, might die, Dante.”

“Alright, okay, baby, only ‘cause you asked so nicely.” He snickers, wraps his arm around your front and then fucks into you so hard the bed rocks. Headboard hits the wall. Stuff you see in movies. God, his poor girl, you’ll be ruined once Dante’s done with you.

“Oh my god, oh my god, Dante,” You mewl an endless string of expletives, arch so your hips push back onto his fat cock, and your eyes roll back into your head, and there’s spit trickling down your chin— Holy fucking shit. It’s like watching a porno play out. Hell, it might very well be a porno. C’mon, where’s the camera, is this Dante’s new side gig? Is this keeping his lights on, his fridge full, his water running? Wouldn’t put it past him.

Once he creams your hole, Dante’s quick to spread you apart with his big hands, you’re still gaping. “Go on, Leon.” He says very simply, smiles the way he always does when he suggests something outlandish. “Clean her up.”

Leon’s never eaten pussy from the back, it’s impolite. Crude. That’s the general consensus, right? And Leon’s a feminist, he’ll eat a pussy that sits itself on his face, he’ll snuggle up between a thick pair of thighs - but from the back, oh, it’s just obscene. Still does it though. Eats his brother's thick cum from your hole, sucks on your swollen clit, laps till there’s nothing left that’s dirtier than his own tongue. Then he goes to bed with a hard dick and the taste of his brother’s cum in the back of his throat. He’ll sleep it off.

#leon s kennedy x you #leon kennedy x you #leon s kennedy x reader #leon kennedy imagine #leon s kennedy smut #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy smut #resident evil x reader #resident evil leon #dante sparda smut #dante sparda x reader #dmc dante smut #dmc dante x reader

[moonpetrichors-blog]

Dating Lo’ak Includes...

Tags: Lo’ak x Reader, Heacanons, Fluff, Dating, Avatar 2, Gn!Reader, More Slight Angst LMAO

Warnings: None

What dating Lo’ak would include.

Look I was crushing on Lo’ak for like the entire movie, of course if Neteyam is getting relationship headcanons so will my boy Lo’ak ‼

* ˚ ✦ Read below the cut

╭┈─────── ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-╰┈➤ ❝ [25/12/22] ❞  

Lord he is so cute.

Like Neteyam, he has a very sweet and caring personality, and shows his affection for you through quality time and physical touch.

Just like his dad, he’s got such a cocky and sarcastic mouth on him LMAO

That shit makes you SWOON

Before you even started dating Lo’ak, he was so stubborn about not confessing and simply expected to keep it to himself.

He’s very clumsy with himself though, and sucks at keeping his feelings hidden

It was only a matter of time before you realized what was going on 💀

You honestly find it endearing how nervous and ungraceful he is around you

It’s very easy to probe reactions out of him, so half your conversations are either playful banter or teasing

He’s pretty reckless so sometimes when you go on dates it’s not the most safe or well thought out plan...💀

The majority of decisions in your relationship is honestly based off of impulsive choices. Dude can’t be methodical for his LIFE

He’s disobedient and will literally do the opposite of what you tell him to do just so you guys can play fight LMFAO

Now, we all know how Lo’ak feels like the odd one out in his family.

He makes bad choices, gets into trouble, and overall feels like he’s second best to his older brother.

So of course, his recalcitrant attitude is a way he builds walls around himself.

But honestly? This attitude we know and love is probably a façade.

Deep down, all he wants to do is prove his worth and be helpful, but all it does it backfire on him.

He’s been hurt time and time again, seeing himself as an outcast and a failure.

As his significant other, you make him feel appreciated and valued, because you see him for who he really is and love him as he is.

For once, Lo’ak doesn’t feel like an outsider. He feels like he doesn’t have to prove himself with you.

Despite this, Lo’ak is still an independent lover and enjoys his alone time.

He has a difficult time relying on other people, and the fact that he’s let you in this much means a lot.

I can see him playing both sides of the relationship. Some days he’ll take the initiative, and other times he just wants to be held by you.

Dude THRIVES in chaos. If you’re disobedient too? Y’all are reckless idiots together.

Is also an overprotective lover. Absolutely will not hesitate to beat the shit out of someone who tries to talk badly upon your name.

It doesn’t matter if you’re being directly harassed or trash talked behind your back, trust that Lo’ak will be ready to punt some bitches into next week.

Imagine patching him up after punch fights omg??? I just KNOW he loves it when you run your hands over his knuckles and kiss them better.

Please comfort my boy on his appearance :((

He’s got a sarcastic and unwavering personality, yes, but don’t doubt the fact that he can get insecure about how he looks sometimes.

Part of the reason why he loves when you kiss his knuckles is because you remind him every part of him is loveable; even the human bits.

You make the darkest parts of himself feel seen; and he will always be thankful he has someone like you that embraces all of him.

#↳˳☁️;; ❝ headcanons ᵕ̈ ೫˚∗: #avatar #avatar 2 #avatar headcanons #avatar 2 headcanons #headcanons #lo'ak #lo'ak sully #lo'ak imagine #lo'ak x reader #lo'ak fanfiction #gender neutral reader #lo'ak x you #i love my men emo #fluff #slight angst #again #i love lo'ak

[bruhhhh-huhhhhh]

yooo is there any chance I can request parent headcanons for the safehouse crew (cod: bocw)??? been replaying the bo2 campaign and the Adler is Graves' father theory has a grip on me esp recently now that that mf is coming back

I imagine that Adler is a pretty distant parent, what with work in the CIA taking up most of his time and probably isn't able to see his kid much to begin with after the divorce, no doubt his ex wife has full custody of any of the children they had during that marriage. he's the kind of dad to buy his teenage kid expensive gifts to make up for the times he couldn't be there, usually related to something they were mildly interested in when they were like 7. And that thing is probably one of the only things he knows about them because they ranted about it to him when they were really young and naive. Russ is not as good as vocalizing his affection, but he's observant, and would zero in on any information and likes that his kid has when they express it... It's just that the usually don't with the distance between them. I think he does genuinely care about his child and still wants to show that they appreciate them, but just doesn't know how to properly connect with them on an emotional level, and usually doesn't even have the time. I don't think he'd treat his kid much differently based on their gender, he's still an emotionally-supressed mostly absentee father that his child would kind of just grow to resent as they get older. Adler is the 'he tried' dad. (I hc that Graves his kid is also the most likely to have a wild rebellious teens phase, and he'd kind of just let it happen so long as they aren't getting into any legal trouble because at that point their relationship would be so strained and he's just kinda apathetic about it. I think he's the type that would come home late to catch his kid smoking, and the only thing he'd do is ask why they started and if they know the consequences of it, then promptly asks for one and never brings it up again.)

Hudson, on the contrary, would be the perfect dad. Girl dad 100%, this man has a wife and two daughters (I think, might need to double check this one, but point still stands because I think he'd be good with girls). This man deserves a bo burnham 1985 edit. I think that he's really the type of guy who tries to squeeze in as much quality time with his family even with his work, and is the type to frequently show affection and pride for his children. Jason is completely soft for his wife and children, in contrast to how much of a no-nonsense hardass he is on the job. I am utterly convinced that this is the man who would always play along with his daughter's tea parties when he has tine and would never miss any of his son's games (he'd ask Jenny to record it for him if he's knows he's gonna be on a mission for a long time). I imagine that he really goes the extra mile to be the best role model for his kids, being both responsible and loving even with the limited presence he has because of his job. Hudson is the father figure some us needed in life ngl.

I don't think Mason would be an abusive dad contrary to what most people would take away from the one interaction we see with him and a very young David. I definitely think he'd have some major anger issues though, no doubt that trauma from The Numbers™️ and all the shit he's gone through as soldier and later CIA op would have an impact on him. He would never lay a hand on his own kid, but he's definitely shouted at them pretty frequently and has likely broken objects around them when he's angry. Much more so after his wife's death and being left as a single dad who barely has any idea what he's doing, and the only other person who can rein him in from it is Frank. I think he's more affectionate and less emotionally distant than Adler, but still just not as close as he should be to his child. He'd apologize for his outbursts and all but, being raised with traditional values from the 30s-40s, he isn't really the type to have those heartfelt talks about feelings because men are supposed to be strong and being emotional makes you weak and all that crap. Would be tougher with a son, and stricter with a daughter. Alex would become a lot more understanding and open over time when his kid grows older, and mellow out as an old man and just be proud of how they turned out despite how he was. The anger issues never really dissipates, but he learns to control it and be better for his kid for the remainder of his life. Mason is the dad you'd resent and have so much anxiety over in your teens and twenties but eventually make up with and get closure by your late thirties or so.

Woods would definitely be more of a fun uncle than a dad. More of the tough love type, but will always remind his kid that they're appreciated at the end of the day. But I also imagine he's a lot more reckless snd clumsy, specially as a first-time father. May not be perfect, has his own shortcomings in a lot of places, but he's really trying his best. I imagine that he probably tiptoed a lot when it came to raising David, trying not to yell at him too much and tried to be his anchor as much as he can after he was tricked into killing Alex (and then promptly going off on him when he shows face again after thirty years). Frank would be considerate and very vocal about his appreciation for his kid despite . Woods is the lovable old man that you'd have a lot of funny memories to look back on, and cussing you out is just his own way of saying he loves you.

I don't have as much thoughts on them but I think Park would be very overprotective, especially if she had a daughter. Would shelter her child and be very strict with them, making sure she knows how and where her kid is all the time, who her kid is with, and how safe they are. Would make her child wear a tracker watch and tell her all and any people they meet or see. Madam Shell's betrayal and her brother's death have definitely left a mark on her, and she would excessively worry about them at all times, to the point of it being suffocating and very invasive Lazar is the balance to this, more lenient and lets his kid have a right to privacy and freedom. Sure, he still worries a lot, but he has enough faith in his child to let then go off on their own when they're at an appropriate age. I also imagine that he gives the best best hugs. Sims would be somewhere in between, albeit more leaning on the stricter side.

AHHHH THIS TOOK ME SO LONG TO ANSWER I'M SORRY

bUuuuT

i love this idea so I'm gonna do silly little headcannons for it

How the Safehouse Crew treat their kid

Russell Adler

He's absolutely an absent dad

It's not that he does it on purpose, it's just what happens with his job

Russell tries so hard. So hard to be there, but a lot of the time he just can't because of work

If his kid does any sports, you can bet your ass that he's gonna be at any games he can

Now, that's not a lot, but still

Adler absolutely cheers the loudest anytime that his kid does anything

He'll also argue with the refs or umpires about dumb calls

Has been kicked out multiple times

Russell also buys his kid anything that they want

Christmas with him is like out of a damn movie

Presents are practically stacked to the roof and each one is more extravagant than the last

Is definitely the type of parent to dump a bunch of money on his kid for whatever they want

It's his way of making up for barely being around

Has missed his visitation days a lot

Every time he does, Adler sends money and presents as an apology

One time, his kid was staying over at his house because they got into an argument with their mom

He came home late and was met with the sight of his only child smoking cigarettes in the living room

"You know what those do to your lungs?"

The kid just stared for a second before nodding in shock

"Good. Don't be surprised when you get lung cancer. Lord knows I'm already getting close to that. Give me one."

The kid hands over the whole pack, and Adler takes one, lights it, and hands it back. "Don't tell your mother."

On the times that he actually has off and has the kid, he tries to make a whole day out of spending time together

Adler takes them to an amusement park or something, and its just plain awkward the whole time

But, by the end of the day, they're just a little closer

Mainly because they had a heart to heart on the car ride home

They even hugged!

Yay!

And then nothing changed

Boo >:(

Jason Hudson

Girl dad 100%

He's the dad that everyone needs

So supportive, no matter what

Jason does, in fact, have two girls. And, if I remember right, he loves them more than anything

This man absolutely has been caught playing princesses and knights with his daughters by his wife

His favorite thing is to sit at the tiny tables and have a tea party

Loves his kids so much

If he had a son, Hudson would teach him how to throw a football

Definitely would push him to join a sport

If he does, Hudson goes to every game

Just like Adler, he cheers the loudest

If his girls get boyfriends, you can bet your ass that he's going to let them know that he has multiple guns and absolutely knows how to use it

#WillThreatenToKillThem

Jason has to be told by his wife to leave them alone

He only does because he loves his wife so so much and he'd kill for her

Lots of physical affection

Hugs and all that good stuff

His kids definitely won't be touch starved

Is absolutely who they go to first whenever something happens and they need help/support

If he ever catches his kid doing something that they shouldn't, like smoking, he has to try really hard not to yell at them. He pretty much has to walk away to cool off before he can approach the conversation in a way that he wants to

Hudson and his kid are going to have a long talk that ends in a hug and a promise not to do it again

Overall his kids are well behaved and he's a good dad

Alex Mason

My poor boy

I love him so much, anger issues and all

Any time that he screams and breaks things in front of his kid, he calls Woods to come and pick them up so he can take care of things

He always feels horrible after he yells. Alex never wanted to hurt anyone. Quite the opposite, actually. He just doesn't know how to control his anger

Throughout the kids developmental years, he tries his best not to yell or get angry, but a lot of the time he can't stop himself in time

In comes one Frank Woods, who ends up coming over and taking the kid out for ice cream or to the park or just for a drive

He ends up being that cool uncle that the kid goes to when something happens

When he gets discharged (Honorably) from the military, Mason ends up going to therapy

And anger management classes

Only reason he does is because his kid ends up yelling back when he gets angry

And he realizes that he fucked up :(

So that helps him mellow out for his kids later years

Definitely apologizes to his kid for how they were raised

Alex won't over explain or get all mushy, but it'll come up as a simple "I'm sorry for how you were raised," and leave it at that

Will express his feelings through gifts or spending quality time with his kid

If he gets grandkids, Alex will take that as the time to make up for his kids shitty childhood

Best granddad for real

When he's older, he won't mind as much when it comes to telling his kid that he's proud of them

Lots of praise

Frank Woods

HE'S SO BABY GIRL I CAN'T

LOOK AT THIS GIF

Anyway

Definitely the type of dad to pretend that his kid is in trouble and then it turns out to be a prank

He would absolutely do it just like he did in the scene of the gif

Frank wouldn't yell at his kid, more just yell in general

He'll scream over football games, tv shows, dropping something, anything

He does not care

His kid would be used to loud noises by double digits

Woods would absolutely not know that his kid was sneaking out until Alex caught them

He doesn't particularly care, but he's a little disappointed that they didn't ask him if they could go

Instead of yelling, he would sit them down and have a serious discussion

Lots of "You could have just asked," and, "How many times have you done it?"

Basically he'd get his kid to quit because he knows it's a bad habit

I can't remember if he's a smoker or not, but if he is he would go through the process of quitting with said kid

Helen Park

She's kind of a shitty mom, ngl

Park can be good at it when she wants to, but she's got her own shit that he's going through

She can't handle a kid

In the early years, she's a little neglectful and absent

Then she does a full 180 and goes full over-protective mom mode

Trackers, constant phone calls, reassuring messages

The whole nine yards

She'll try her best to stop if her kid says something, but her anxiety is way too high to stop fully

Definitely the kind of mom to apologize through gifts

One fond memory that her kid would have of their younger years is her sneaking into their room and climbing into bed with them

She just sat there and held them, silently telling them how much she loved them

Helen thought their kid was asleep, not awake and hearing everything she was saying

Park definitely let her kid sneak into her bed when they had nightmares or got sick

She secretly loves it and is sad when they stop doing it

Okay that's all I got-

I didn't mean for this to take so long to make

#bean writes #cod cold war x reader #cod cold war #cod bocw #russell adler #russell adler x reader #helen park x reader #helen park #frank woods x reader #frank woods #alex mason x reader #alex mason #jason hudson x reader #jason hudson

[m1ssunderstanding]

Get Back Rewatch 55 Years On: Day Two

Paul and Ringo cabaret duo au NOW!

Their collective bitter humor about the fan mag. I think George probably appreciates Paul getting into this sort of shit with him. Even if it is only on a surface-level. A reminder that the Beatles fame journey (something that's been hellish at times for George, enough to give him PTSD and other issues for the rest of his life) has not left Paul unscathed. That Paul actually does have feelings, however buried they may be.

Could even be that the appreciation comes out in the form of "I think your beard suits you. Man." Does the tacked-on 'man' mean a sort of "no homo" type qualifier? Or is it just an added endearment. I know we don't think of George as particularly inhibited, but it was the sixties. And of course Paul loves the compliment and has no idea what to do with it.

Can you all please thank Mal as he hands you your tea next time? Not that hard, guys.

Ringo's voice is so sexy. And I love how supportive Paul and George are of this very stupid song. If either of them had written it, they'd tear it to shreds, but it's Ringo, so we laugh along and enthuse about the sentiments behind the lyrics.

The communal bitching about EMI's treatment of them. As they should.

Oh goodness, it's the "Paul has an embarrassing crush" moment from that iconic post of @jeremy-hillary-boob He totally does and you should say it. "I never used to know what it meant". It's giving "girl pretends not to know how to hold her golf club so the hot guy will touch her".

I have a theory that some of their covers ~matter~ and "What do you want to make those eyes at me for?" Is the first one for me.

Okay this look right here that John is giving Paul? Not to, like, out myself as never having experienced pure love except from my own child or anything, but the only other place I've ever seen that look is on my one-year-old's face when I come get him from his nap. So ... "A lovely little baby, John was"

"If this boy dies, you're gonna cop it." Peak older brother behavior. He's joking, but he's also deadly serious.

In love with John trying to sing out of his range. He's trying so hard, you guys.

"Everybody had a hard year. 'well, I'm not sure, actually. Put [good year]." Same, John. Isn't it always that way? Hard. And good. He's such a genius lyricist. He just captures the human condition with such specificity.

Lol at Paul correcting John on the key of his own song (yeah, yeah, gimme some truth is secretly a colab but it's still a John song)

When they put a piano in front of Paul and John's instantly like "uh-oh, red-alert my beautiful boyfriend might not get captured perfectly from every angle" vs a year and a half later when he's bitching about Paul having too much screen-time in Let it Be. Well, you were part of the problem, babe.

I love George's way of teaching his songs. Whereas Paul was shouting key changes and counts between phrases, and John doesn't even bother to give any of that information, George is just softly singing "E, to F sharp minor. E to A." Beautiful. John and Paul, take notes.

Wonder if I'll get through a day without calling Paul a whore. Probably not.

John being instantly self-effacing after suggesting that genius little let's enhancement. "My mind can blow those clouds away" is actually much more original and thought-provoking, but John just makes fun of himself. Like. Just own it. You're John fucking Lennon!

The George/Paul convo (George talking, Paul hardly flinching) is so painful actually. Because from the outside, Paul's avoidance looks so condescending and unfeeling, but avoidance feels much more like 'Shit fuck shit dodge the fight, go around, don't react, don't engage, don't start something' and i really feel for both of them.

Let John do Help for gosh sakes!

"Not bad though. Good try, that. Johnny."

The part where Paul is looking just so exhausted, and he's actually letting it show, and then he sees the camera on him and hurries and tries to do a cheeky little Beatles head-shake and smile. But then he's really just too tired (and high) and he looks away and rubs his eyes. It was like watching an old circus bear. Those poor things.

And of course John's head snapping up like a little gopher when Paul says his name

#get back #the beatles #paul mccartney #ringo starr #george harrison #john lennon #mclennon #mal evans #Yes I will continue to just take pictures of my screen like an eighty year old woman #Yes I am sorry about the length. They're probably just going to be like that...

[vclvetfleur]

Obedient Chapter 16

Summary: After your talk with Roman, Jess gives him some friendly advice. And Logan is now deciding on who to throw under the bus for the scandal. Based off of S2 E10 and S3 E1

TW: Mental health issues, NSFW (oral) 18+

Word Count: 4.6K

Notes: Sorry again for the slower updates. Bigger things are being planned for the story so bare with me.

Chapter 16: ken is def bd

Jess had just gotten back onto the yacht after making a trip out to the land to just explore. She saw Roman as he sulked. Roman had decided to just remain by himself, avoiding others, trying to distract himself from the massive fuck up he had put himself through. Jess would’ve never thought she’d do this for Roman in a million years, but she couldn’t help herself. She slowly walked to Roman, hoping not to startle him. “Hey, you guys talk?” She asked him.

Roman removed his sunglasses, looking at Jess completely defeated. “Fucking yeah- uh- yeah we did. She doesn’t wanna hear it.” He decided to open up rather than push. The trip to Turkey had made Roman realize the way he pushed and didn’t talk about his feelings really put him in difficult situations. Any day could be his last.

“I’m sorry- what happened?” She sat down, trying to get all the details. There was no way she was going to get any of these details from you. Roman blew air out, trying to recollect every detail of the conversation to only cut it short enough. “Well- she said she doesn’t love me anymore. That it was before.” He tried to slowly remember all your words. He heard Jess scoff, rolling her eyes. “Bull-fucking-shit.” Jess lightly laughed to herself at how ridiculous the idea was. She had sat right next to you and was lying down. She saw your gaze behind your sunglasses. They were constantly on Roman. You just wouldn’t stop staring. You panicked and nearly had a meltdown because of his trip. You isolated yourself from the court hearings because Roman didn’t need you there. You mentioned him a lot. You would just bring up a funny thing Roman did weeks ago while hanging out with Jess or remember little moments that reminded you of Roman. You were still very much deeply in love with him. Whether you admit it or not.

“Yeah- well, that’s what she said. Uh-so, she said I can’t be forgiven easily. And this could never be what it was.” He shrugged, playing with the corners of his sunglasses. He fidgeted a lot while talking. He just stared off, trying to calm his thoughts. He didn’t know how you did it for him so easily. “That’s just- honestly, it’s just y/n telling you to chase. Just bug her. She’ll scream and yell at you, but trust me, she wants you to chase. She loves to lie about ‘leave me alone’, but as soon as you do, she’s not happy you didn’t run and slam her doors down for her to forgive you. She’s an attached avoidant. It’s her way of- don’t even fucking know.” Jess shrugged, trying to explain your personality to Roman. Jess has seen you do this with everyone; Friends, boyfriends, and family. You would scream at your friends, go hide, and then expect them to come to you. But when they didn’t you told Jess and villainized them. You expected your family to eventually come back. You don’t want them back anymore. The timing has been too long.

“I’m just glad you made y/n actually happy for a bit. I would hate for her to lose that. Despite my distain for you Roman.” Jess admitted. Roman appreciated the sentiment. “Fucking whatever- uh while you’re here and y/n isn’t. Can you get me a beer or something?” Roman teased. Jess flipped him off before leaving him alone. Roman now knew you better. He wasn’t going to let up.

The entire family was set at the table, including the older staff and you and Jess. Roman had made sure to save you a spot and fill the rest of the table up before you had come in with Jess. You took your seat next to him, waiting for Kendall and Logan to make their entrance in. “So, do you think they’re throwing little Greggy into the ringer?” Roman asked the table. Greg shifted in his seat, looking around nervously. “Hey man, not fucking cool- okay? I mean- just...” But he was cut off once Logan and Kendall entered. Roman just laughed at Greg’s anxieties being so present on his face. Logan had finally announced who would take the blame and have to step away from the company. Kendall. No one could speak. The air felt thick, and it felt as though even though all our hearts raced, they were all matching. Your stomach felt disgusted. You looked at Kendall, sympathizing for hearing Roman beginning to protest for his brother. He was the only one to do so. No one wanted to sacrifice themselves to Logan or the company. It was better if Kendall dealt with it then them because… well, it wasn’t them. Roman felt like it wasn’t fair. He couldn’t let it happen. Someone else was responsible and Kendall should have no part in being blamed for it.

But Kendall already accepted his fate. In fact, he stepped up to it. “Hey, it’s okay. Guys, you’re off the hook.” He cleared his throat as he put a napkin in his lap. No one was going to be able to eat after this. You had completely lost your appetite. Roman couldn’t believe what had just happened. His older brother, someone he saw being set up for greatness has just taken a nosedive. Roman leaned in and asked Kendall “You okay?” He couldn’t trust Kendall’s judgment. He knew how much the company meant to him. And for him not to be a part of it anymore, Roman knew it would destroy Kendall.

Kendall tried to put on a brave face and lied about being fine. But everyone knew this was going to become a spiraling downward spiral for Kendall. He was nothing without Waystar. His whole life was set up for Waystar. You put a hand on Roman’s shoulder, trying to relax him Everyone just then began to ask for themselves. Roman and Shiv didn’t bother to ask for themselves. Just kept quiet. Before Logan announced the new Chief Operating Officer.

Roman.

He was shaken at all the news being through his way. He was happy, but so devasted at the same time. He just let out a heavy breath, unsure what to do or say.

Shiv took the news hard. Roman didn’t even want to believe the news, assuming he’d be watched over by Frank. But Logan promised it was the real deal. Roman was now COO. It was finally the real deal. His dad hadn’t been lying to him this whole time like everyone said. It was never Shiv. It was always him. He wasn’t too stupid or incompetent.

Kendall looked at Roman as if he had been stabbed in the back a thousand times by all his loved ones. It was the position he was meant to hold, now given away to his younger brother. Roman looked at him, unsure of how to accept the news, but told Logan he could do it. Kendall let a smile shine, before retracting it. Despite his failure, he was happy to see his younger brother be able to step up. He had faith in Roman. But Roman couldn’t accept it, but Kendall reassured him it was great. That he was happy for him. Kendall pushed everyone to go on with the dinner. But there was a kind of silence. Roman couldn’t eat. He just watched as everyone's forks and knives hit the plate, making that god-awful sound. You just tried to keep Roman calm enough on the outside. You breathed in and out slowly for him, having him follow your league in a quiet way so no one noticed what you both did. But Jess noticed. “Congratulations Rome, you deserve it. Really.” You whispered to him, taking a bite of your food. He nodded, finally deciding to eat after watching you eat. Dinner was awkward. Barely anyone spoke except Kendall and Logan from time to time to ease the awkwardness. But once everyone was finished, they scurried away into hiding like roaches with a flashlight on them. It was as if they’d be next to get the news they didn’t want to hear. Roman could barely move though. He was the last one there with you. You stayed for emotional support. “Hey- come on, let’s get up, alright?” You encouraged him. He was in a complete haze. You grabbed his arm, standing up and tugging. “Come on Rome- it’s alright, come on.” You continued. He just looked up at you, you weren’t sure what he was feeling. His face told you nothing. “I-uh- I finally fucking did it.” He laughed anxiously. He rubbed his face with one hand, roughly going over his jaw and mouth. “I mean- like- what the fuck was that, right?” He continued to just laugh nervously. You forced him up and tried to drag him to his room. “Do you think he was fucking with me? I mean seriously. You can weirdly read him. Do you think he was lying or-“he was ranting. His mind was going too fast. He couldn’t slow down. “Roman- I think he was serious. Now come on. Let’s just get you to your room. You can celebrate there.” You tried to redirect him. You fortunately got him to his room, but Roman could not stop talking about what just happened. He told you everything you just witnessed as if he recounted it to someone who wasn’t there. The door finally shut as you finally let go of Roman.

“I mean- just- y/n I mean come on- you saw that, right?” He reached out for you to comment on his success. But the door shut, leaving all of his excitement out the door as it finally hit him. “I fucking need you.” His mind spoke, before grabbing you once again, pressing you into him. He forced his lips on yours. You froze, not sure you were ready for this just yet. You pushed at first before finally giving in to Roman’s demands. You pushed his body against the wall, your hands roaming his body. His hands stopped yours, not sure if he was comfortable enough to let this go far enough. He pulled away, looking down at you, trying to catch his breath. “You still do like me.” He began to tease, leaning down to kiss you once again. You pulled away.

“Don’t remind me of what a bad idea this is.” You stood your ground. He nodded, watching you carefully.

“But- you didn’t want me back? Not even for a bit? Even if you were trying to get me to fuck you?” He questioned you. You rolled your eyes, denying it.

“Shut up, this is just your little ego boost now that you’re COO.” You denied your feelings towards Roman. He shrugged, knowing somewhat that it was true. Despite being sad about Kendall, the ego boost it gave him completely drove him wild. “Oh yeah- cause- y’know. It makes this so much hotter; don’t you think? You don’t wanna fuck the potential CEO?” He tried to tempt you. He might not fully be there, but he was willing to push his boundaries with you tonight. Especially since you were pissed at him. It was some way to gain control of himself.

The position of COO gave him confidence like no other. It was such a difference since 2 days ago after being taken advantage of in Turkey. He went from a hostage to a COO. You laughed at him, not trying to admit how much you did want him as badly as he did. You had gone months without touching him in any kind of sexual way. You went weeks without even seeing him naked or just in his boxers. You hadn’t allowed yourself to do anything with anyone else either because you weren’t sure it would feel right to do that to Roman. So, you obtained from everything, other than your own hand and toys. And a bit of fantasy you had.

“Oh yeah- cause I’m the slut who’ll fuck the next man in power.” You said in a sarcastic tone. Roman eyed you down before making a proposal to you. “Uhh- do you actually wanna do this though? Just- can we turn the fucking lights off while you just- I don’t know do whatever the fuck.” He never knew how to ask about these kinds of things properly. His sexuality was such a difficult thing for him to get into.

You looked at him, contemplating. “Well- I just-“ You thought, looking at him.

The desperation was apparent on his face. He wanted to be touched by you. He wanted to actually feel whatever you were willing to give him. But if he could avoid any discomfort of looking at himself along with other issues, he wasn’t ready to address.

The look he gave you, nearly pleading to be touched and loved by you, drove you to your decision. You walked to the wall, flipping the light switch off, and turning the lights off as Roman had asked you. You were lucky enough to be able to find his body. It wasn’t completely dark, there was some ability to make out what was in front of you. Your eyes would adjust soon.

Roman grabbed you, excited, but nervous to finally be able to do what everyone else did without it feeling like a chore. He wasn’t willing to actually go through with everything, but anything would be good. “Just tell me whenever you want to stop, okay?” You checked in with him before proceeding. You grabbed his hand and led him to the bed that remained in the middle of his yacht suite. You sat him down, straddling his hips. You sat down, grinding your hips against his, feeling him get hard almost instantly.

You pressed kisses down his jaw and neck, making sure not to leave marks. You didn’t want people to see their new COO with brand new marks on him with only the possibility being a few people that actually gave it to him. His mouth was closed shut, letting hums out. His body tightened as he felt pleasure taking over from simple kisses. It felt nice. He was comfortable enough. “Do you wanna take my clothes off or…?” You tested his boundaries. He nodded quickly, grabbing the end of your shirt before pulling it over your head and throwing it off somewhere. He hesitantly placed his hands on the curves of your waist, feeling them move slightly as you continued to grind into him. You tried to get yourself off in some way. You leaned down, kissing him. Your lips moved together softly, taking this slowly. You moved your hands down to his shirt to remove it before he stopped you. You removed your hands and placed them away from the end of his shirt. You moved yourself away from his lap, moving his legs apart. You leaned down, not breaking the kiss as you got down in front of him. “Tell me when to stop. You reminded him. You kissed down his jaw to his clothed chest before moving away. You laid your head on his thigh. He stared intently, nodding slowly to let you know he was okay to move on. You nodded back before undoing his hands for him. You nearly removed his pants before he stopped them at a certain point. He laid back, propping himself up on his elbows. He wanted to watch you. He hated the sight of himself but adored the sight of you. “You’re so fucking gorgeous.” He praised you, running his fingers through your hair. Your hands moved towards his cock before pulling it from under his boxers. You looked at Roman again, asking for consent to move forward. Your guidance helped him a lot more than he had expected. Without it, he would’ve stopped nearly immediately. “Touch yourself.” Roman demanded in a soft tone. He didn’t want to sound too controlling, but the neediness in his voice gave away the urgency of how much he wanted you to. You obeyed, licking your fingers before slipping them into the waistband of your shorts. You pressed your fingers against your clit before licking your other hand and stroking Roman at the same time as you touched yourself. His head threw back, biting his bottom lip to keep quiet enough. He couldn’t show off how desperate he truly was to finally be touched by someone. You picked up the pace, watching his reaction getting quicker and more dramatic. He never stopped you though. His head came back to watch you.

“Uh- fucking-uh just- fucking blow me or something.” He tried to get his thoughts in line but was too distracted by your touch. It was intoxicating. You giggled at how much of a mess he was. He needed you so badly. “Don’t fucking laugh.” He seemed almost offended. He held your head in his hand, not pushing or shoving you. Just following whatever he had seen in some kind of porn video he had seen, assuming this was right. “How bad do you need it though?” You asked, slowing down the pace, and pressing a kiss onto the tip. His body twitched, not expecting it to be so sensitive. “Really really fucking bad. Now please- just…” He begged before you finally did as he asked. Your lips wrapped about him, bobbing your head down and up. His lips were slightly separated as he let soft profanities slip through his mouth and whimpers. You picked up a quicker pace, learning what he liked very quickly. He wasn’t too hard to guess. His mouth hung open, his breathing getting heavier the closer he got. He finished quickly, embarrassed immediately as he did. He hid his face in a pillow and humiliated with himself. He wasn’t able to last longer than a couple of minutes. You got up, washing your mouth out, unsure how comfortable Roman would be to receive kisses from you afterward. You came back to see him sulking about being basically sexually inept.

“Hey-…” You sat on the bed, removing the pillow from his face. “Did you have fun at least?” You asked. He nodded, sighing.

“Yeah- Sorry- I just- Sorry I can’t fuck you properly.” He muttered the words out quickly. You let out a stifled laugh, shaking your head.

“Awe shut the fuck up. I had fun. Come on. It was sexy.” You tried to cheer him up. Despite not being able to even get yourself off, it was rewarding watching Roman enjoy himself enough. You planted a kiss on his cheek before getting up to turn the lights on.

“Did you- did you like it though?” Roman asked, insecure about his own abilities. You turned and nodded. “I had the best time Roman. It’s a huge step. I’m proud of you regardless…” You admit, planting another kiss on his lips. “Do you want me to stay over?” You asked. Roman nodded, moving himself to give you enough room on the bed. You scooted in, undressing into just a shirt and underwear before you got in with him. He stayed quiet, finally holding you again for the first time since Dundee. That had to be about 2 weeks ago at this point. He was just glad to finally have you back here with him. He wasn’t going to fuck this up anymore.

You both had fallen asleep fairly quickly.

When Roman woke up a deep set of emotions began to finally sink in. He was COO and Kendall was now going to take the blame. He had taken the job his brother had been waiting for his whole life. And it was all over for Kendall. Roman was conflicted. He was so excited and happy about the position but upset with his brother. This was an injustice done to Kendall. But they were going to have to do a press conference to push out the news. He wasn’t sure if the public would even accept him being COO. His reputation wasn’t the cleanest. He didn’t look fit for the job. But he felt he could do it. You made me feel like he could for the past couple of months. He was grateful for you.

Kendall had been sent out to the states while the rest of the family stayed back. Jess had left with Kendall, and she assured me Kendall was still keeping her on. She assumed he was going to need her for other ventures he might be planning to do.

You felt your stomach turning as you were watching the press conference. It felt sickening. Almost like watching a Shakespearean tragedy but modernized. “I can’t fucking believe this is actually real…” You whispered to Roman. He nodded, biting on his fingernails. He couldn’t either. Everyone watched as if it was watching a slaughter happen on camera. Kendall finally came into the frame before finally talking into the tens of microphones. You leaned in forward, anticipating his announcement.

Kendall then turned against his statements, trashing his father and the company on live television. He had notes set up. Roman got up and rushed to the common room that kept Logan and Shiv. You ran after him. “Fuck…” You murmured. You couldn’t tell if you should be happy or angry at Kendall. You were upset he would ruin his brother's new position, but glad he was standing up against Logan.

Logan watched, feeling a sense of pride. Kendall finally learned the game that Logan has been playing for decades. “We have to go…” Roman whispered to you. You nodded and followed his lead.

“I can’t- holy fuck- fuck- fuck-fuck!” You couldn’t believe what you watched. Roman stayed quiet. He was annoyed he ever felt sorry for the fucking asshole. This was his plan the whole time. He didn’t want to give up the COO position because he was trying to do good by their dad. He wanted to spite his father, even if it ended up hurting Roman too.

Roman’s memories of Kendall putting things before him, rushed to the front of his mind as Roman ranted to you about what an inconsiderate loser he was. How he never truly cared. How Kendall was a psychopath.

“I mean- what the fuck? Right? I mean he encouraged me for getting the COO position. And then he goes and does this? Is he fucking insane? Is he trying to put me in fucking jail or something? I’m too gorgeous to go there. Fuck no. Fuck that cunt.” He couldn’t stop ranting. It really hit you that he put everyone in the company in trouble. Anyone slightly involved could go to jail. This wasn’t just a feud. This was a war to Kendall.

“Ken’s not gonna send you to jail…” You tried to ease Roman’s thoughts. He rolled his eyes, shaking his head. “No- no more defending that cunt. Kendall isn’t some sweet little no chin having sensitive latte sipper. He’s just as fucking crazy as all of us. He’s doing this out of some crazy drug-induced fucking psychotic break.” Roman called it out. But you weren’t sure if that was truly the case. Kendall did seem to have a lot of regrets and a lot of emotions towards the victims and the incidents that happened.

A slam on the bedroom door occurred, startling both of you. “Roman- get your hand out of your fucking pants and let’s fucking go.” One of the staff called out. You grabbed your stuff and rushed out. You got a look from everyone as they were just down the hall. Why would your stuff be in Rome’s room? Logan was too busy to focus on his son’s relationship with his assistant, not that Logan had any room to talk.

You had gotten into the helicopters, landed in a landing strip, and waited for the private jet to finally arrive. What a fucking nightmare. They didn’t even know where we would fly to and had no pilot for another idea.

Roman tried to ease his father, only getting insulted. Poor Hugo had to be stuck in a car with him. You frantically were texting Jess for updates. All she could tell you was that Kendall was completely out of his mind right now. She thought he was having some kind of midlife crisis. You both passed over information to each other, worried about where this would end.

But Jess thought Kendall was justified, while you were severely on the fence, especially since Roman could potentially see jail time for this.

You decided to stay out of all the discourse, unsure if it was any of your business.

Logan had been scarily silent. He wasn’t yelling anymore. Just genuinely curious and delirious. He had decided to call Kendall. That’s when the threatening began, and he was back to regular Logan. You overheard everything, rushing to Roman. “Hey-uh- how you holding up?” You asked.  

“Uh- well, my brother is a drug addict mentally ill man who wants to ruin us and my dad an angry delirious….” Roman began to whisper so Logan would hear. But he cowered under his father. Everyone did. Roman just fed into Logan’s game and tried to discredit Kendall.

“Uhh- I don’t know if this could help… But I’ve been texting Jess all day and she’s been texting me things we could use against Kendall.” You prompted, catching Logan’s interest. He raised an eyebrow and asked you to read the texts out loud. You nodded quickly, grabbed your phone, and read the texts out loud. “Ken is off his meds….. ken is going fucking nuts again…. I think naomi is feeding this fucker coke again there’s no fucking way….. uhhhh….. ken def is bd…. He’s hitting rock bottom….” You tried to pick out the texts and even handed the phone to Hugo to read them. “We could use this. This could be a source. Someone close to Kendall. It could work.” Hugo admits to Logan. Logan tried to think it through before finally deciding. “Whatever we could use on the ungrateful fucking bastard.” Logan grumbled under his breath.

Logan walked off, leaving you, Roman and Shiv alone. “Uhh- I-I-I don’t know why I just fucking did that…” You deeply regretted your decision. You put Jess up there now. Jess was now involved. Holy fuck. Oh no. Fuck FUCK FUCK FUuuuucCKK. HOLY FUCK.

“It’s alright. We gotta bring this fucker down.” Roman tried to settle it. “No! I- I don’t know why I involved Jess. Holy fuck… Oh god…” You panicked. Shiv got up quickly, wrapping her arms around you. She shushed you and tried to keep you from spiraling. “Shh- hey this is business. I’m pretty sure Jess knows that. You’ll be alright.” Shiv tried to remind you. “I mean look at Tom. You basically cooked him alive twice and he still thinks you’re a great asset.” Shiv tried to remind you. You nodded, trying to reason with yourself. Maybe this could be fine. It’s not like Jess was going to hate you. Kendall needed Jess. He was acting crazy anyways. He was crazy. You’ve seen how he’s been for the past couple of weeks. He’s gone insane.

Staff had been making calls constantly, trying to find some way to keep this calm. Roman tried to settle his emotions with jokes or insulting Kendall while Shiv kept to herself, trying to soothe herself. You just texted Jess, she was your one way to always relax.

You were scared to see where this was going to end.

Notes: Did people not like the last chapter? I barely got any attention on it and I thought it was a pretty good one.

Chapter 17

#succession #succession hbo #roman roy #hbo succession #roman roy fanfic #kendall roy #shiv roy #succession fanfic #roman roy x reader #roman roy x you #siobhan roy #tom wambsgans #greg hirsch #logan roy #connor roy #fanfiction #fanfic

[naamahdarling]

So I'm reading The Body Keeps the Score and it's...mildly illuminating. I'm only part way through and have hope that it might be somewhat helpful to me personally or have even more good observations, because there really are some, and I think that once I get over my disgust and anger, I might even be able to appreciate them.

But what struck me is how this fuckin guy, who is clearly just really into helping people and wants to try to change things and has good intentions and a lot of meaningful experience, and has valuable observations, this guy who really fucking cares, still describes watching actual crimes occur in front of him without intervening, and participating in them sometimes, without acknowledging them directly as crimes or expressing more than some regret. And these crimes were committed upon patients who were already severely traumatized and were in a traumatizing setting, hence their fractious or nonresponsive behavior. Like, he's about as good and well-meaning a guy as you can find, and I see why he has been so important in his field, and still.

He did/does remarkable work, I won't lie, but it just drives home how even though most of these horrible people who taught him may be dead (good) and even though a whole lot of his peers are out of the game by now, STILL their poison lingers, because they absolutely trained a shitfuckassload of the people currently practicing, and trained most of the older people currently still in charge. Two professional generations back and they're using textbooks that are like "ehhh, incest isn't harmful to women, and might actually have psychological benefits." BITCH WHAT? Of COURSE it's fucking awful. That's like common fucking sense. To not be able to see that would require you being mindfucked into believing literally the opposite of what the most basic empathy would tell you is true. These people got their brains washed and then bathed in shit. And now we have the system we do, built by them.

No wonder psych wards are trauma farms and staff utterly ungoverned. They don't see a damn thing wrong with treating their inmates like animals. It's how it's always been done. I mean, I knew that, but still. I keep learning things that make me hate them even more than I did. At every turn they have chosen to perpetuate pain because all they can understand is the need to control these people into behaving "normally".

#starting to go fully anti-psych at this point #meds good #therapy good #loose diagnoses to provide a roadmap for treatment good #dsm bad #psychiatry bad #abuse cw #assault cw #incest cw #medical abuse cw #rambling again

[buckyseddie]

tragic endings

pairings — logan (james) howlett x fem!human!reader

summary — in which, after she takes in a young, troubled mutant in and vows to protect her from all dangers that she seems to be in, she meets the famously-brooding wolverine, who unexpectedly changes her life.

word count — 16.2k.

warnings — mentions of reader suffering through parental neglect and abuse as a child and having LOADS of trauma (LOTS of heavy hints of ptsd too!), mentions of reader taking some lives in order to protect laura and carrying a LOT of guilt, ANGST (obviously, because this isn't a happy ending type of fic), some fluff in it though, reader's in her early twenties, character death and self-sacrifice, equal pining, kisses, use of pet-names [kid, sweetheart, doll], mentions of the reader being depressed and having anxiety and also being suicidal / wanting to die, also a little bit of logan and the reader posing as laura's parents, reader has abandonment and codependency issues, reader also has raging anger issues.

notes — i have one word to describe this fic: long. it is going to be VERY long. also, i love that i finally finish this right as i find out that my grandma passed away... we love grief! gif and divider creds to owner!

p.s., feedback is very much encouraged and appreciated <3.

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IT'S SORT OF... COMPLICATED. ALL she knows, is that she feels something — something she can't quite explain — for the little girl that has suffered through so much pain and loss.

how could someone who suffered through so much pain at the hands of her own parents could become a motherly figure to a misunderstood little girl? well, maybe it's just because she couldn't help it.

she may have had a rough childhood, but [y/n] could just feel it in her heart that laura needed someone to show her that she mattered — that she was worth the hard journey of making it out of everything alive.

so, is it really that hard to see why she would do anything to get her safe? even go to the older, grumpy — clearly retired — wolverine for help?

"look, kid. you seem like you've got good intentions. but, i can't afford to have anymore trouble by helping you and the girl out." logan grumbles, after laura had arrived to knock out the asshole that dared try to mess shit up for him, charles, and caliban.

[y/n] sighs, trying to keep an eye on laura, who has just now begun to walk over to charles. "i can't say i don't get it. because... i do," she sympathetically states, understanding that he just wants to be left alone from all the danger that being a mutant brings.

with another sigh, she watches the young girl interact with charles with a sense of comfort, before turning back to face the older man, who's been watching her warily. "look, i know she's not my daughter — not by blood. but, i love her like she's my own. and she doesn't deserve to be hunted down and killed like a monster. she's done nothing wrong."

"so, i'm only asking you to get us somewhere safe, where we can travel away from on our own. i'll pay you whatever and however much you want. but, i'm not abandoning her — i'm going to protect her with everything i have, for as long as possible."

there's a moment of silence as he doesn't say anything. but, after realizing that his silence is his answer, [y/n] nods wordlessly, trying not to get emotional over the fact that she and laura are on their own to find somewhere safe for them to go.

"right. like i said, i get it." she mumbles, sighing.

an unexpected look of regret flashes in logan's eyes, but [y/n] doesn't see it, due to motioning for laura to come over to her.

a look of disappointment takes over the little girl's expression as [y/n] turns back to face the wolverine. "look, i'm sorry for bothering you about this. clearly... this was both a mistake and a waste of time." she murmurs as laura comes up from behind her and grabs her hand.

"and i hope these guys," she stops to point to the unconscious man still lying on the ground. "don't give you any more trouble."

he sighs and nods, still watching her warily as he begins to wonder why a human would risk so much — and her life — just to protect this little girl that he's been growing more curious about by every passing second.

he also finds her a little bit annoying, but nevertheless, it's all the same amount.

with no other words being said between them, [y/n] gives him a forced and fake smile, hoping that she doesn't make him feel guilty for not being able to help them, as she gently tugs on laura's hand to tell her that it's time for them to go.

as they walk further away, logan begins to wonder if he made a mistake — for not agreeing to help them.

after all, it's always been a first instinct and part of his nature to help and protect people. or at least, when he had been part of the x-men team.

—————

THE NEXT TIME THEY MEET, it's a few days later — after logan, charles, and caliban had been attacked by the group called alkali-transigen for the second time.

caliban had been captured by this group, while logan and charles were able to escape in logan's crappy limo-like car.

the two men had found laura and [y/n] sitting in an alley. laura was fast asleep, lying her head on the older woman's shoulder.

[y/n] shivers, tugging the tiny blanket further over laura's sleeping form as the sound of the limo pulls up near the entrance.

worried that they're found again by the cruel men that just wouldn't leave them alone, [y/n] cautiously pops open an eye, brows furrowing. she leans forward, trying to get a better look.

but, she stops suddenly as she notices logan stepping out of his car, confusion filled on his face. "logan? w—what are you doing here?"

"kid, why didn't you tell me that you guys didn't have anywhere else to go?" he asks her once he gets to the actual entrance of the alley.

she shrugs, sitting up now as she tries to ignore the cold weather. "i could tell you didn't want to be bothered. i thought it would've just been easier if i lied." she murmurs, stopping completely as laura begins to stir a bit in her sleep.

once the young girl has stopped moving in her sleep completely, [y/n] impulsively decides to move to stand up, in order to give the young girl all the room she needs.

so, within a few cautious and quiet seconds, she slowly moves herself away and moves laura to the side, before placing her jacket under her head to use as a pillow.

with a prolonged, nervous sigh, [y/n] then takes in a relieved inhale as the little girl falls right back to sleep without any further disturbance.

"you know, if i knew you guys had nowhere else to go... " logan trails off when she turns to finally face him.

with another sigh leaving her, [y/n] lightly grabs onto his arm — in which, who flinches for more than a second — before leading him over to the front of his parked car.

"look, logan. we both know that you probably would have still said no." she murmurs, making sure to keep an eye on laura every few seconds while speaking with him.

logan sighs, knowing that she is right — no matter how many times he wishes to believe otherwise.

but, there's also another part of him that knows that he would probably help her and laura in a heartbeat, if he weren't growing slowly weak every day. but, he is — it both slows him down and makes it hard for him to help them to his full potential.

he opens his mouth to say something, but charles, who'd rolled down his window from inside the car before and heard the twos' conversation, interrupts him, "logan, they need our help — we should help them."

with a small smile almost curving onto her lips, [y/n] sighs. she knows that she can't just drag him and logan into this. it just wouldn't be fair.

"no, please. it's really alright. i don't want to put you guys in this complicated situation." she murmurs, just as laura stirs again in her sleep.

charles shrugs his shoulder, as if he wouldn't mind if they got dragged into it. but, then again, he's never been one to turn down the chance to help others when they need it.

"really, guys... it's okay. laura and i will manage on our own." she murmurs as she turns to walk back over to the little girl and gently and carefully pick her up.

as she faces them and walks back over to logan with laura still in her arms, covered up in both [y/n]'s jacket and blanket, logan furrows his brows. "are you sure?"

the concern in his voice shocks her, but she waves it off as him just trying to be polite. "y—yeah. we'll be fine." she nods, gulping down her pride as she lies through her teeth, once again.

in a way, she's grateful that he'd said earlier that he couldn't help her and the girl. i mean, [y/n] is the type of person to deal with her own issues and problems by herself, instead of choosing to burden people with them — her words, not mine.

her going to logan for help was really just a moment of weakness. she was desperate — only wanting to do whatever she could to try every possibility that would protect laura and get them anywhere safe.

truthfully, the main reason why she's lying to them about really needing their help, is the fact that she feels guilty — it's already obvious that logan feels regretful that he didn't agree to help them.

and guilt-tripping them — mostly logan — that was never her intention. so, if she has to lie to make him feel better about the situation, then that's what she's going to do.

"you don't have to lie, [y/n]. there's nothing wrong with admitting when you need help." charles tells her from his side of the open window.

the young woman mentally slaps her hand to her forehead in irritation over forgetting that the extremely older man is psychic.

she stutters, hating that she can't hide the truth from them. "i... i just don't want to be a burden. and... i don't know what i'd do if either of you got seriously hurt because you guys decided to help us — everyone gets hurt when they get involved with me."

with a relentless sigh, logan simply nods to the car. "we'll figure it out, okay? just get in."

she hesitates for a moment, wondering if dragging them into this mess is really the right answer.

after all, she knows that if either of them gets hurt — in any way — because of her, she'll never forgive herself.

but, as laura recklessly jumps down from [y/n]'s arms, causing a shocked gasp to leave her, and runs over to the other door opposite of the one charles is sitting behind, she sighs.

both [y/n] and logan share a look of a tiny bit of amusement.

with a tired yawn, she shrugs her shoulder, knowing that she won't be able to change the little girl's mind now as she opens the door and slides in.

"i... guess laura would like to take you guys up on that offer. so, i'm not really in a place to say no now." she mutters as logan leads her to the front of the car.

if only they had known all the bigger trouble they'd all have to endure in the future, all because they allowed the possibility of helping them become a reality.

—————

AFTER MANY DIFFERENT NIGHTS OF passing through different towns, logan finally stops at a gas station that's in the middle of nowhere.

[y/n] follows laura over to one of the electric horses, while logan and charles stay back in the car. as she leads laura up and over the horse to sit down, [y/n] places some quarters into the machine.

"there you go," she murmurs, giving the younger girl a warm smile. "now, i'm going inside to use the bathroom. i'll be back in a few minutes, okay?"

the girl silently nods as [y/n] hesitates to leave her alone.

but, nevertheless, after realizing that, not only are they all in the clear — for now — but logan and charles will surely watch her for a few minutes, while she's in the bathroom.

with the positive thoughts swirling around in her head, [y/n] finally walks over to the door, before walking inside.

after asking the person at the front of the store where the bathroom is, he points in the direction of where it is, and [y/n] races off in that direction in a hurry as she really needs to use the bathroom.

the young woman tries to pee as fast as she can, considering that they're all still on the run and practically fugitives at this point.

then, as she walks over to the sink, she rinses off and washes her hands. but, as she sees all the blood — from the previous days of running into trouble with the group that had started all of this — dried up on both her hands, arms, and face, panic begins to quickly sink in.

to protect laura, [y/n] had to take extra precautions and do whatever she could, to do just that.

not only had she been injured, but she had also had to do two things she'd always said she'd never do — learn how to shoot guns and really any other weapons, all the while also having to take some lives.

it was self-defense, of course. but, still.

the guilt and trauma she's endured because of the fact that she's killed some people... well, it's taken too much of a toll on her.

all she kept thinking was, how can i live with myself, after all the things i've done?

she still thinks this as she tensely and harshly tries to scrub all the blood away.

[y/n] has always dealt with self-image issues and her internal hatred for herself — especially, with growing up in the toxic household that she had as a kid. but, this? it's extra new and multiplied now.

shaky breaths and unshed tears escape her as she looks up at herself in the mirror this time.

but, just before the negative thoughts can become any worse, there's a knock on the bathroom door.

[y/n]'s head snaps up in the direction of the door, more panic filling her. "just a minute!" she yells to the person on the other side of the door as she tries to scrub harder to get the blood off.

her breaths become more panicked as logan's voice speaks up from outside. "[y/n], i'm coming in."

her eyes widen in both surprise and shock. as the door slowly opens, she panics and turns around, so that she's leaning against the sink and is hiding her hands behind her back.

just as he walks inside, [y/n] lets out a shaky, "h—hey. is everyone... ready to go?"

however, logan doesn't reply to her. he only steps closer to her as he crosses his arms over his chest with confusion swirling around in his eyes. "what's going on? did something happen?"

she abruptly shakes her head, dipping her head down to avoid showing any weakness. "everything's f—fine."

"don't lie to me. what's going on?" he asks her once more, stepping even closer to her, to the point of them only being a few inches away from each other.

with a sigh of defeat, [y/n] shakily pulls her hands out from behind her back. "i... i can't get the blood off — their blood. it won't come off." she whispers shakily.

he frowns, stepping even closer to her.

the young woman's breath catches in her throat as the space between them decreases by every passing second.

though, the concerned look in his eyes scares [y/n].

as someone who's never experienced someone worrying about her and her well-being in her entire life, just the thought of someone actually taking care of her, terrifies her, to be completely honest.

they stare at each other for a long moment, before logan slowly reaches for a paper towel and moves over closer to one of the sinks and turns it on to run the paper towel through some water. then, he brings the towel back to her and starts to gently scrub her hands and arms.

within a few minutes, he has successfully gotten the blood off of her hands, arms, and face. as he throws the paper towel away, her gaze softens as he steps away from her to give her her space.

"t—thank you." she murmurs raspily, trying to act as if she hadn't let him see her in such a vulnerable state.

he simply nods hesitantly, now stuck in his thoughts.

when they had first met, he — no matter how many times he's tried to ignore it — had become just slightly curious about her.

but, now? he can't help but find himself completely consumed with the feeling of concern and curiosity over her.

after another long moment of them just looking at one another, [y/n] finally snaps herself out of her daze, shaking her head in silent embarrassment. "i... i think i'm going to find laura and get back to the car. i think i've been in here long enough, right?" she tries to crack a joke, desperately needing to change the subject.

logan nods once more, before motioning to the door as he waits for her to leave first.

once she's officially out of the bathroom and through the hall, he follows after her.

though, before either of them can actually leave the building, both adults find them watching a very shocking scene playing before them.

laura has her claws grown out of her skin, and she holds down the current worker of the small gas station, an angry look placed on her face.

"oh, god..." [y/n] trails off, sharing a similar expression with logan.

as the young girl yells out, [y/n] snaps her head towards that direction and her eyes widen in shock and surprise.

then, she races over to the two of them, and gently pulls laura away from the man. her grasp immediately falls away from the man's when [y/n]'s gentle touch connects with her body.

"laura!" she murmurs in a slight lecturing tone, though it's still gentle. "you can't do stuff like that. you can't hurt innocent people, okay? you understand me?"

after a moment, the little girl finally nods and in a matter of seconds, her claws retract back into the skin of her knuckles.

[y/n] sighs in relief, before leading her back to the car, while logan stays inside for a few more minutes.

later that night, they arrive at a hotel. both [y/n] and laura fall fast asleep the second they reach their bed.

logan, however, struggles to stay asleep.

—————

SHE WAKES UP IN THE middle of the night, breathless gasps and hyperventilating breaths leaving her.

as she continues to struggle to breathe, she notices the little girl, who’s lying beside her, is still fast asleep. 

she runs a shaky hand through her slightly knotted up and greasy hair as her heart begins to beat faster than ever and her breaths become much more panicked. 

if only she didn’t have that nightmare — of all the lives she’s taken to protect laura. it’s a relentless, repetitive terrifying dream that she has been having almost every night, ever since it happened.

with another moment of her panicking state becoming much more worse, she shakily and quietly — as much as she can — takes off her blanket and rushes off in the direction of the bathroom. 

too buried deep in her panicked thoughts and the flashbacks that the nightmare has provided for her, she doesn’t even notice the wolverine sitting in the other room that leads to the bathroom.

she only stumbles into the bathroom and quietly shuts the door. 

as she slides down the door, she doesn’t even realize that the light is still off. she’s only focused on trying to not go into full panic mode, or worse, slip off of the edge and begin to have a panic attack. 

but, it’s quite too late for that.

she’s already slipping and losing all of her control over her breathing. another painful and breathless sob leaves her lips and her head falls to lean against the door as she clenches her eyes shut. 

the tears fall carelessly down her cheeks and she cries out in frustration. god, she hates crying. it has always made her feel weak.

she shakily stands up as she quickly flicks the light switch on. but, as she looks into the mirror and sees her wrecked appearance, another shaky breath escapes her lips. 

[y/n]’s brows furrow and more tears cloud her eyes.

then, out of nowhere, she slams her hands down onto the counter repeatedly. the loathing hatred she feels for herself grows and grows by every passing second. 

more tears blur her vision, the shaky breaths still leaving her lips.

though, before she can panic even more, there’s a light knock on the other side of the door. 

“kid? everything okay in there?” logan’s voice calls out through the door and it — fortunately — snaps [y/n] out of her panicked daze. at least, for the moment. 

“w—what?” she stutters out in an answer to his question. she holds her breath as she waits for him to say what he wants to.

“are you okay?” 

the tone of concern shocks [y/n] as she chokes on her answer, “y—yeah, i’m… uh, i’m fine.” 

there’s only silence for the first few minutes. but then, suddenly, the door knob is being turned and logan is slowly entering.

he shuts the door behind him as he turns to face her with crossed arms and a look as if to say, 'i know you’re not fine'.

“i know you’re lying. why can’t you sleep?”

she stays silent, eyes falling to the floor as she leans against the counter. 

“well?” he asks, causing her to snap her head back up at him.

“it’s nothing… i—” she abruptly cuts herself off, inhaling deeply. she dips her head down in shame as she tries to calm herself down.

"i just... had another nightmare. that's all." she mumbles as she lifts her head back up to look at him.

he sighs with a nod. "do you wanna talk about it?" he asks, not being able to help but feel a little worried about her.

as she notices this look on his face, something in her brings her butterflies. [y/n] gulps nervously, before shaking her head.

despite, trusting him now — a bit more than she had before — she just can't let him in, yet. and she knows that he can understand that more than anyone else.

he nods.

silence fills the room as they stare at each other with different emotions consuming them.

while logan still feels a bit worried about her well-being, [y/n] watches him with a wary expression, trying to figure him out.

"well, um... thank you — for checking in on me. but, i promise, i'm okay," she murmurs, anxiously running a hand through her tangled-up hair. "i'm always okay."

despite, [y/n] sounding really genuine, logan doesn't believe her for a second. but, he doesn't say anything about it.

after another moment of complete silence, [y/n] clears her throat. "well... i should go back to bed." she says, nodding to the door, causing logan to snap out of his own concerned thoughts.

he nods and drops his arms from his chest, before moving to twist the doorknob and pulls the door open.

he lets her pass him as she hurries back to her and laura's bed.

though, as she lies back down and stares at the hotel room’s ceiling, a soft smile finds it's way to her lips as she remembers how concerned about her he's been acting lately.

she may not still completely trust him.

but, for him to grow concerned for her? that's quite a big development on his part.

[y/n] falls asleep with that same smile on her lips.

—————

SHE SLEEPS A LOT BETTER. so much so that she sleeps through the entirety of the next day.

the only time where she actually wakes up, is when — while logan went off to find a better car for them, since the limo's already been seriously damaged — a few men, who were sent from the psychopath that's been hunting both [y/n] and laura in the first place, showed up at the hotel room.

unfortunately, right when she does wake up, charles begins to have a seizure. it not only stops the bad men from harming laura, but it also does the same for everyone else.

the entire process is especially more harmful to [y/n], considering that she's only human, after all.

lucky for her, logan arrives soon after, taking care of some of the men, before laura assists with giving him charles' shot that's supposed to help with the seizures.

once charles has officially calmed down, [y/n] takes in a deep breath.

but, as she stands up, she loses her balance, when her legs give out, taking much more of a hit than anyone could've anticipated.

she lets out a groan as she clutches her head in pain, suddenly being hit with a wave of throbbing pain.

as she continues to struggle to deal with the pain, both laura and logan watch her in worry.

while logan turns to face charles, who wears a very regretful expression, and gives him a pointed glance, laura races over to [y/n] and silently worries about her.

as she tries to breathe through the pain, she notices the little girl's presence near her and decides to place her now sweaty hands over hers, in order to calm her down.

"it's... okay — i'm okay. i promise." her voice comes out in a croaky whisper as she begins to slowly stand up.

surprise flashes in her eyes as she notices the crazy amount of concern and worry in logan's eyes.

he steps forward to help her, but she holds up a hand, before he can get any closer.

"don't worry about me. i'm fine." she murmurs, trying to ignore the pain that is still consuming her body.

logan raises a single brow at her, challenging her to tell the truth as he notices her wince in further-more pain. "you sure about that? because you don't look like you're okay." he steps forward once more.

before she can answer him, her head throbs, once more.

it causes her to stop completely and dip her head down in pain as she presses her hand to her forehead.

"[y/n]?" he calls out as he steps closer her, the rest of the people in the room becoming much more concerned for her as she sighs shakily.

"i..." she trails off breathlessly as she begins to feel so much more light-headed and becomes a bit nauseous. "i don't understand why it's like this... "

"like what?"

"why it hurts so much..." she whispers as her legs finally give out and everything goes dark.

—————

THE MOMENT SHE WAKES, SHE notices that she's no longer inside the hotel room they were in before she'd passed out.

she begins to panic after realizing that she doesn't recognize the room she's been currently sleeping in for god knows how long.

her heart beat picks up in a fast pace as she looks around in confusion and stress.

though, before she can actually find herself in a worse panicking state, the door of the room slowly opens.

as soon as she realizes that it's logan, [y/n] sighs in relief. "thank god." she whispers to herself as he slowly shuts the door behind him, before walking over to the bed she's currently lying on.

"you alright? you know, you look really stressed right now." he asks as he sits down on the edge of the bed, eyebrows already furrowing together in concern.

she sputters once more, glancing around the room again, before turning back to face him.

"w—where are we? i don't recognize this room... and it's honestly stressing me out. especially, since the last time i was awake, it was inside the hotel room and now i'm here — where i don't recognize anything." she rambles, furrowing her brows as she tries to catch her breath from talking so much.

he chuckles in amusement, before shaking his head at her in response.

"doll, you don't need to worry or stress about that. the explanation is pretty simple," he states as she waits for him to go on.

"after you passed out from what happened in the hotel room with charles and all those men, we had to leave to ensure that that group didn't get to you and laura. so, we left and ended up helping this family and they've offered to let us stay here for the night. we'll be leaving early in the morning, alright?"

after hearing his explanation, she sighs in relief. “oh… okay. that makes sense.”

he nods, staying silent as he stares at her with an expression filled with worry and concern — something that’s become a very familiar look lately. especially, when it comes to her. 

in the past — maybe today, even — he would've told anyone that he would never fall in love again, or even, in this situation, at least, grow genuine, protective instincts and to care for another person.

and when you have the type of haunting past — like he does — it's understandable.

[y/n], sensing his eyes on her, looks up, brows furrowing.

she tilts her head to the side in confusion, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

"w—what?" she stutters out nervously, quickly beginning to wonder what's going on inside of his troubled head.

logan tries his best to shake the feelings and new — for him, anyways — thoughts away. "nothing." he mumbles, clearing his throat and cutting off the new moment between them.

it's quiet for a moment, before the door opens, only to reveal both laura and charles.

once laura realizes that the older woman is now awake, relief floods to her face, before she's racing over to the bed and crushing [y/n] into a bone-tight hug.

"oof!" she lets out, trying to ignore just how tight the little girl is hugging her as she hugs her back.

after a second, she laughs in a form of appreciation — she's never felt so loved before, considering how she was treated as a growing child.

"i promise i'm okay. and i will be for a very long time — you never have to worry about losing me. okay?" she murmurs quietly, before the younger girl finally pulls away from her with a protective look shining in her eyes.

"she was quite worried for you." charles says from his place, sat in his wheelchair.

[y/n] nods, feeling guilty for making her worry as a frown takes over the place on her lips.

"and... i'm terribly sorry for putting you in that situation and putting your life in danger." he continues, his facial expression obviously filled with only regret and guilt.

the young woman's face quickly becomes confused.

"oh, charles... that wasn't your fault. and i don't blame you for it." she states in a soft voice, sending him an appreciative smile.

the wolverine scoffs, as if he doesn't quite share the same opinion as her.

his tone of voice is bitter as he speaks again, making how he feels known, "maybe you should."

[y/n] tilts her head to the side in further confusion. "what? how could this be his fault? it can't be his fault, if he can't control when it happens." she says, quickly coming to the eldest man's defense.

"i mean... you can't possibly believe that he wants to hurt anyone. and having these moments of out-of-control seizures can hurt them."

logan only rolls his eyes. "whatever." he mutters, not wanting to argue with her, before he glances towards the door.

"we should go check and see if they've finished making dinner yet." he mumbles as laura hurries to help [y/n] out of the bed.

she chuckles, before shaking her head.

"it's okay, sweetheart. i'm okay to walk." she murmurs softly as the little girl simply nods silently in understanding.

as [y/n] makes her way over to the door, limping and wincing every few seconds, logan, charles, and laura watch in clear concern, but she only ignores it.

she doesn't want to be any more of a victim — not anymore.

her only fate is to be able to protect laura and get her across the border — that's all she's going to be.

logan backs up, pulling charles with him as he keeps a good grip on the handles of the chair, while [y/n] slowly and eventually pulls the door open.

with an excited smile, she turns to them with a hand motioning towards the open doorway and backs away, in order for them to get through. "here we go!"

laura claps excitedly as logan pushes the old telepath through.

as soon as they're out and making their way into the kitchen, [y/n] and laura walk through the doorway and follow after them.

laura lets go of [y/n]'s hand as soon as she gets to her chair, practically throwing herself into it in pure excitement.

the older woman inhales nervously, becoming a little anxious about meeting these seemingly nice folks for the first time.

she lifts her hand up and into the air, giving them a small wave.

"hi. um, i'm [y/n]," she nervously says, nodding towards laura.

"i'm laura's mother." she explains further as the brunette woman laughs and waves her shyness off.

"it's so nice to officially meet you — laura's spoken so highly of you. i'm glad you're doing a lot better than before." she kindly says, nodding to an empty seat, the one next to where logan is now sitting.

[y/n] takes in a deep breath as logan still continues to watch her every move in clear worry, before she takes the seat and sends the much older woman a warm smile.

"thank you. yes, i'm doing and feeling a lot better now."

after the family says their grace, logan and [y/n] glance at one another, not even realizing how much they seem to be looking at each other.

as laura begins to eat — quite messily, too, might i add — logan steps in with a frown and a glare.

he reaches over with his hand and taps her shoulder to get her attention.

then, he gives her her fork, quickly motioning for her to use it properly.

seeing this herself, [y/n] giggles, only finding amusement in watching her.

"i'm... so sorry about laura. as you can clearly see, we're still trying to teach her how to have proper manners."

hearing the 'we' part of her statement, logan gives a gruff agreement, quickly realizing that the woman is going for the wife-and-husband-with-their-daughter cover.

though, it's quite obvious that both adults are their own versions of flushed over the idea of them actually being together — or being a couple.

the older couple simply waves it off, not being ones to judge.

after all, all families are different, right?

though, as laura starts pouring big, big loads of food onto her plate, logan has to interfere, obviously. again.

"there's plenty more, if she'd like some more." katherine offers, nodding over to the younger girl, who's now glaring and pouting at logan.

he shakes his head, mumbling that she's had more than enough.

[y/n] can't help but let a small laugh escape her.

but, after realizing how childish she must seem in the moment, her eyes widen in shock over her own impulsive action, and then clasps her hands over her mouth to keep anything else from escaping.

the famous wolverine stops frowning at laura, only to turn to look over at [y/n] with a raised brow as a response to her childishness.

she laughs again, at the look placed on his face.

after all the time they've spent together — and obviously, the feelings that have shifted between them — she can't take him seriously. not anymore, at least.

although he looks like he's just about ready to lecture her, she knows deep down that he couldn't get mad at her over something so minor.

and another part of her just hopes that maybe he feels the same about her that she feels for him and that he couldn't bear to be angry at her for that long.

logan glares at her once more, though it's more playful than anything else.

as she notices everyone watching their seemingly normal exchange, [y/n] clears her throat as her face instantly turns beat-red at the attention they're receiving.

"uh, sorry." she genuinely apologizes to katherine and her husband.

katherine laughs herself as laura and charles join in. "there's no need to apologize. i think you and james make quite the couple."

[y/n]'s face heats up, once more, at the compliment. "o—oh, thank you." she stutters nervously, tucking a stray strand of her hair behind her ear as logan's gaze catches hers.

this time, though, their eye contact is very much different than any of the others they've shared — this one gives off both admiration and genuine care over the other.

charles, however, decides to cut the moment short, after noticing the pair of adults' undeniable connection, when he accidentally hears both of their own thoughts.

[y/n] is not only flushed on the outside, but also on the inside — she wonders anxiously if anything could ever happen between them, or if it's just her that feels this way.

and logan? well, he's trying to act like she doesn't have a single effect on him at all — he's trying to stay professional about this all and fight against how he truly feels.

a small smirk tugs at the psychic's lips, before he breaks the silence, "yes, my son and [y/n] truly do make quite a great couple — they're actually quite perfect for each other."

[y/n]'s face turns even redder — if that's even possible — while logan glares at the side of charles' face.

but, after a moment, both logan and [y/n] realize that the rest of the family — and charles and laura — are watching them carefully and closely.

"yeah, we are perfect for each other. i'm just happy to be with him and to have laura and charles — this family means everything to me." the young woman states, no lies evident in her tone of voice — she speaks the truth in her words, even if it's all just for a cover that won't be permament.

something in logan changes when he hears her truthful words, a small smile — a grateful one — appearing on his lips as he stares at only her with a gentle look in his eyes.

without another thought, he nods and says his own version of the truth, despite the fact that he hasn't wanted to get attached to either her or laura, in the first place, "you know i feel the same, sweetheart."

his tone of voice comes out gruff, but [y/n] senses the truth in it and smile at him as she places one of her hands over his.

they both fall into the moment, completely forgetting about everyone else, almost as if the entire world falls away, when it's just them.

katherine smiles at them with admiration.

"you know how i know you two are truly perfect for each other?" she asks, breaking the moment between them as they glance over at her in confusion.

"you look at each other like you're the other's world — and that's true love." she continues as [y/n] laughs nervously, before murmuring a 'thanks'.

logan watches her once more, before katherine's husband asks where they're heading after this.

he snaps himself out of his daze as both he and charles reply with completely different locations.

"uh," logan starts, but [y/n] laughs and cuts the two men off, "sorry. apparently, there's been some miscommunication!" she laughs once more, trying to make a joke out of it.

katherine laughs with her.

"are you guys going on some kind of extended-vacation?"

after a moment, [y/n] nods, choosing to just go with it. "we're going to be going to both oregon and south dakota."

charles nods along with her.

"yes, it's a very long overdue vacation," he pauses as both logan and [y/n] nod in agreement. "we're city folk — always wanted to see the country. and meet the people in it."

logan watches the exchange, noticing how comfortable both charles and [y/n] are about speaking about a vacation.

needless to say, they all deserve a vacation — away from all the complicated situations they've been in lately.

"that's lovely." katherine nods in agreement as everyone continues to eat.

"i've been trying to get will here to take a vacation for years—"

will interrupts, quickly bringing up that they'd not be able to take care of their property, if they went on vacation.

katherine replies to this by telling him they need to sell the property.

[y/n] laughs at their interaction, never before seeing an actual healthy couple before — her parents, after all, didn't have a healthy relationship at all.

they continue to argue, before their son interrupts them, "i could drop out of school!"

"let's not go that far." katherine says to him seriously as he just laughs it off.

"i mean, i'll do it."

"no."

"why not?"

something in logan's face changes as he watches the normal family exchange between them all.

his gaze goes over to laura, something changing immediately.

[y/n] notices this and smiles, hoping that he truly does care about her and laura, like she hopes he does.

"now, why would you want to do that, nate?" charles asks genuinely and [y/n] can't help it as she lets out a giggle.

"you might want to be careful with answering that question, nate. charles here, was a professor that ran a very important school." she announces in an amused tone of voice.

"a lot of years, right, charles?" logan asks, finding some entertainment in this topic of conversation, as well.

charles waves him off, trying not to make a big deal out of it.

though, just as he begins to agree politely, [y/n] begins to experience some more sharp pains in her head.

this time, though, it's much more extreme than before.

then, she's suddenly pushing back from the chair as she stands up, catching everyone's now concerned looks.

"i... i'm sorry. i think... i need to lie down — it seems that i'm still having some headaches." she murmurs in an embarrassed tone as she starts to sway slightly and her eyesight gets blurry and splotchy.

logan immediately stands up, becoming much more worried than before.

he places a hand over her back and the other on her shoulder as she begins to groan in pain — she's never felt headaches this bad before.

"i'm going to help her get back upstairs." he announces, not caring if he seems rude, his attention completely on the young woman in pain.

"yes, you should," katherine agrees, after standing up and placing her hand up to [y/n]'s forehead.

she frowns at how warm she is. "she's burning up. she really should lie down — maybe, just for a little bit, or until y'all leave tomorrow morning."

logan doesn't say anything in response. though, he understands what she's saying and is mentally agreeing himself.

[y/n] gulps guiltily, both feeling bad for all of the issues her health is causing and because she really doesn't understand why she's been in so much pain recently.

for only a moment, she leans her head against logan's chest, the sudden nausea becoming way too much for her in the moment.

logan, not quite expecting such an open and vulnerable action from her, breathes in a deep breath as he allows the physical contact. only because it's her.

"alright," he suddenly says, wrapping one of his arms around her waist and turning to face katherine.

"i'll be back to help laura and charles to bed." he states, nodding to them, who've both stopped their eating to watch [y/n] in further concern — they all know that she's only been acting like she's fine, but they didn't expect everything to get worse for her.

[y/n] barely acknowledges anything after that — the pain she feels is just too distracting for her to hear the worry in logan's voice, or to see the concern everyone in the room holds for her.

though, as logan brings her into his arms — bridal style — and walks them up the stairs, she lets out a barely containable cry.

this causes his eyebrows to furrow together in both concern and confusion. "what's wrong, doll?"

she cries again, hating how worried he is for her.

"i... i hate this... " she says through her heavy breaths that match with her small cries.

"hate what?"

"this — being so pathetic and weak of a human being that i can't even make it through the night." she mumbles, but he hears her completely, considering of how close they are.

"sweetheart—" he begins to say, knowing where this conversation is going, just as they reach the doorway of the room that she'd slept in before.

but, she interrupts him, "—no."

as her voice comes out in emotional stutters, she forces herself out of his arms as carefully as she can.

as soon as she's standing, she begins to feel light-headed again.

"[y/n]—" he says again as he notices that same sick-to-her-stomach expression on her face.

"no... i can't do this." she whispers shakily as a bunch of strands of her hair falls over her face.

though, honestly? this small little detail is something that she could care less about.

logan frowns, not sure of what she means. "what do you mean by that? can't do what?"

she lets out a slightly unhinged laugh as she shakes her head.

"i can't help laura... if i can't even survive," she mutters, taking in a deep breath as she leans against the doorway.

logan tilts his head to the side in concern for her.

he waits for her to continue, knowing that she's not going to stop until she gets what she needs to say out.

"i mean, this behavior isn't fucking normal for me! i have never had these types of issues before, when it comes to my health. this is all happening so suddenly, and i can't understand why."

"you know it could easily just be stress. you've been so worried about the kid and charles lately. i'm sure everything is fine." logan says, stepping forward to help her into the room.

she doesn't budge for a moment, not ready to accept that this is her life now.

she ducks her head down as he places a hand over her shoulder, her bottom lip quickly becoming harshly pulled in between her teeth. her eyebrows raise as tears blur her eyesight very quickly.

"c'mon. let's get you to bed, alright?" he murmurs, trying to stay patient with her, knowing that she's been going through an awful lot in the past few weeks — maybe, even longer.

i mean, logan can't know for sure how many months she's been with laura. or if she's been going through all this trauma, long before she ever met the little girl.

and it's not like he's forgotten about the guilt and anxiety she's been experiencing lately because of the people she's had to kill, in order to protect laura, who she's grown to love and see as her own daughter.

"logan... " she trails off as she finally, finally looks him in the eye with fear in her eyes for the first time ever.

"what if i can't protect her? w—what happens... if something happens to me and i can't keep her safe?" she whispers tremblingly, some of the tears escaping her eyes and sliding down to her cheeks.

normally, she'd be embarrassed to let anyone see her like this — like she's pathetic or weak.

but, this is logan.

he's been much more vulnerable than anyone she's ever known.

also, the fact that he could never judge her for being terrified when he's felt so much worse than her.

this time, though, he stops in place. he no longer tries to get her to the bed.

especially, when he sees the scared look placed on her face, and just how vulnerable she's allowing herself to be with him — even though, she'd never do that with anyone else.

"what are you saying?"

"let's just face it, logan. i'm... obviously getting sick — or something. i don't know what it is, but something is happening to me. and i don't think i'll survive it. which means... " she trails off as she takes in a deep inhale of shaky breaths, trying to accept what she's saying — she needs to make peace with it.

"which means what?" he questions her in a harsh tone of voice, obviously not liking where this conversation is heading.

"it means that i don't have long. and we've barely even gotten to where we need to be, in order for laura to cross the border. i can't help her if i'm dead, logan — you know that." she finally spits out what she's been secretly thinking.

a dark look fills his eyes as he shakes his head, jaw clenching impossibly hard.

"no. i don't know that — we don't know that. you don't know that you're going to die." his statement is spit out in a negative tone of voice, showing that he refuses to believe that it's true.

maybe, it's because he has found himself growing to care for her — way more than he ever planned to.

after all, she and laura aren't strangers to him — not anymore.

"logan, i know... t—that you don't want to hear this." she starts, still leaning against the doorway, clenching her eyes shut and taking in a deep breath at the thought of what she has to say next.

"i know how much pain and loss you've experienced. and i wish and hope that you don't have to experience it... ever again. but, we have to face the facts."

now, she opens her eyes and looks up at him again with more tears spilling.

"and the fact is... i might die. and if i do — whether that's from what my body is experiencing right now, or getting myself killed — i need you to promise me that you'll do right by laura."

he grunts, growing more frustrated and annoyed by the second.

it's obvious — and understandable — that he does not want to have this conversation right now.

or ever, actually.

"she's your daughter — whether you can accept it or not. you are her parent. maybe... even more than i am. after all, i'm just a woman who cares for her and sees her as my child — even when she isn't. but, you, logan... you are her father — you both share the same dna and pain."

he stays silent after hearing this, however.

even if he has so many things to say to her, he doesn't say it, because he knows that she has more she wants to say.

"you have a chance with her. she's not too far gone — she can be better. and you can teach her how to be. but, you have to protect her and get to that border — no matter what happens. she needs a normal and healthy life, where she isn't treated like a weapon." she says, gulping down her pride as she readies herself to say her next choice of words.

"and... of course i want nothing more than to be right there with you guys, when she gets to have the better life she deserves," she states, pausing as that life flashes in the back of her mind.

but, as it disappears, just as fast as it came, she sighs and blinks away the tears. "but, that might not happen. no matter how much i want that future, i have to accept that it might not happen. and... i need you to give her that, okay? she needs a different life than this. she is only a child — one that doesn't deserve to be hunted down like an animal and killed because they think they can't control her. she deserves better than that."

[y/n] forces a smile to her lips.

"she needs you, logan. and i need you to promise me that you'll do what i ask of you — for her sake." she finishes as more tears fall.

he's silent for a moment. but, the anger and denial is quite clear and evident on his face.

noticing this, she steps forward, despite the nausea and pounding of her head that she still feels. "loga—"

"no!" he yells suddenly as his eyes meet hers.

she jumps slightly, worry filling her as she notices the raw emotions swirling around in his eyes.

"no. we're not having this conversation, alright? you're not dying. so, stop with this damn martyr act." he tells her harshly, trying to ignore her hurt expression.

it's a few moments, filled with complete silence and tension slowly building up in the air.

though, logan doesn't care.

or maybe, that's just what he wants it to seem like as he gently grabs onto her waist and side again, silently helping her over to the bed.

they don't exchange any words as he helps her get under the covers, before walking over to the door.

though, before he can shut the door behind him and leave her to her overwhelming emotions and thoughts, she calls out to him, "logan."

he turns to face her, keeping his face stoic as he looks at her in question.

"i want her to sleep in here — just this once." she mumbles shakily, refusing to look him in the eyes.

he silently nods, before walking out and shutting the door, needing to get out of there before he suffocates in that room with her extremely hurt expression.

—————

SHE WAKES UP TO SCREAMS of terror filling the entire house.

[y/n] immediately throws her body up as she lets out a gasp, searching the dark room.

but, she knows that scream — laura.

with a protective instinct towards the little girl, the slightly weak woman stumbles out of the bed and continues to struggle to get out of the room.

once she has the door open, she races into the hall, following the sounds of laura's whimpers and screams, only to find her lying down on the floor of the room that charles had recently fallen asleep in.

"laura? what's going o—?" she starts to question, not quite seeing the full scene of the bedroom.

but, when she does, she sputters and gasps as she takes in the bloody scene before her and the robot-like man that looks way too familiar for her liking.

laura races over to [y/n], hiding behind her as the older woman continues to watch in shock and hurt as charles continues to lose more and more blood by every passing second.

"charles... " [y/n] whispers as tears fall down to her cheeks, not wanting to leave him to bleed out, but also needing to protect laura, who's shaking in fear from behind her.

"it's okay, darling. get laura somewhere safe."

"what? i—" [y/n] wants to say no, but the murderous glint in the enemy's eyes causes her to slowly back away, before turning to laura and kneeling down.

"sweetheart, go find logan. tell him what happened and you tell him to take you with him and get the hell away from here, okay?" she tells her hurriedly, ignoring the pang in her heart at the fact that this is going to be the last time they will ever see each other.

laura cries out, shaking her head and refusing to leave her as tears flood her face. "n—no. i can't leave!"

despite, not saying it, it's clear to [y/n] that what laura's trying to tell her is that she can't leave her behind.

she nods, her cries barely containable as she dips her head as she struggles with her emotions.

but, when she hears his footsteps nearing them and she glances back to see him getting closer and closer to them, she pulls herself together and pushes her away from her.

"laura, go! i'll be fine — i promise." she tells her, despite the fact that she's only lying to protect her.

as the older woman begs her to go with just her pleading eyes, laura hesitates.

but, as [y/n] stands up and turns to face the monster behind them, laura hesitates once more, before turning and running down the steps and races out the front door that's wide open.

as soon as she realizes that the girl is safe and away from the violence, [y/n] spits in his face.

"you're not touching her, you psychotic bastard!" she yells, pulling out her knife — the one she always keeps hidden in a strap she has wrapped around her waist.

he only yells angrily and slaps her to the ground.

she cries out, before she looks back up at him, noticing that he's not done with her yet.

as she winces and pushes herself back further down the hall, he pulls out a needle connected to a tube with some type of scary-looking liquid inside of it.

then, he pulls her closer to him by one of her ankles and injects it into her neck, causing her to groan through the pain, before her body quickly becomes to grow weak.

in the next few moments, all she wants to do is close her eyes. she's just so damn cold and tired.

but, as he assumes that she's about to pass out and begins walking down the stairs in search of laura, [y/n] carefully — and struggles to — get up and stumbles her way down, determined to protect laura.

just as logan walks back and closer to the house from walking around with will — and encountering some complicated trouble — he finds laura, running out of the house with a look of terror swirling around in her eyes.

she heaves in a bunch of breaths as he stops her from running past him. "hey, hey. what's going on, kid?"

she simply shakes her head hurriedly, tears beginning to cloud up in her eyes. "charles, dead. [y/n] sacrificed herself." she bluntly says with an edge of fear, still not able to say complete sentences.

"dammit!" he mutters, realizing what she means and putting it all together, before he looks back down at her with his eyebrows knitted together in worry.

"where? where exactly?" he exclaims in question, trying to not take it out on her as fear and immense concern begins to fill his entire body.

laura only points back to the house. "upstairs."

without any hesitation, logan turns to will.

"watch her for me, will you? make sure she stays safe." he tells him, who nods in agreement — though, he's a little confused too — before he races inside and makes it to the stairs.

though, what he finds before him leaves him completely and utterly speechless; blood is trailing the floor of where charles was last, and [y/n] struggles to stand as she tries to fight the man that strangely looks exactly like logan.

"stay... the hell... away from her!" the young woman yells at him, her speech slightly slurred as she struggles to stay awake, trying — and failing — to fight him off.

after all, this is a stronger and much more powerful version of the famous wovlerine.

"[y/n]!" logan yells as he sees the obvious pain she's in, along with all of the injuries she now has — thanks to that lovely injection she's just started to experience.

she becomes distracted for a moment, her terrified and worried eyes catching his.

after she heard his voice call out for her, all she could think about is that this is the last time they'll see each other.

because she knows that she can't fight this very scary version of him, and logan just has to take laura and get the hell out of here, before either of them gets captured and killed — at least, that's what she knows.

but, the evil version of logan takes this moment of distraction to get the upper-hand on her; his claws grow out of in between his knuckles and forcefully thrusts them into her stomach.

blood spurts out of her mouth as it becomes even more extremely hard for her to stay awake.

not only is she currently fighting whatever the hell that syringe was that just got jammed into her neck, but now, she's being practically impaled by the evil-logan's claws.

more blood spills from her mouth and lips as she chokes on the air, trying to fight the pain she feels over all of this — she's only human, after all.

"[y/n]!" logan yells her name again. this time, though, both anger and worry is evident in his voice.

though, something in her makes her stop fighting the other logan — she knows that she’s going to die.

that's why her gaze finds logan's, who's just about ready to kick the other him's ass for hurting her — charles as well, too, obviously.

"get h—her... out of here. now... " she sputters, more blood spurting out of her mouth.

"please... she... s—she needs you!" she yells, trying to keep the evil logan-spawn distracted for as long as possible.

though, logan shakes his head, not being able to let her go.

"no. we're going to get out of this — i'm not letting you die."

but, evil-logan could care less about this romantic exchange between them as he kicks her body back to the ground and his claws slide out of her now wounded body.

then, without another word, he walks down the steps, giving the real logan a challenging look — trying to size him up, i suppose.

[y/n]'s vision goes blurry and soon enough, her eyes slowly close.

everything goes dark as she — this time — can't stay awake anymore. her body's just too damn tired.

—————

"I'M SORRY. THERE'S NOT MUCH i can do. whatever it was that was injected into her body... it's taking effect quite fast. i can't delay it, and i can't fix it." an unfamiliar voice says, waking the injured young woman from her long, long sleep.

"what do you mean you can't fix it? you're a doctor! this is what you do — you're supposed to save lives! why can't you save her?!" that familiar angry voice that she knows so well yells in utter frustration.

there's a pause, before the stranger speaks again, "i'm sorry. if this was a normal injury, sure, i could treat it. but, it's not," he states, as an annoyed grunt comes from logan, quickly causing him to continue. "frankly, i don't know how she's survived this long — she should've died the second she was injected with that mysterious liquid. but, what i can tell you, is that she's strong."

a sigh is heard, before he speaks again, his voice now filled with pity. "all you can do right now, is enjoy your time with her and make peace with the fact that she doesn't have much time left — before she's going to die."

hearing all of this isn't new to [y/n].

she suspected something else was going on — something that could very much result in killing her.

but, hearing the heartache and pain in logan's voice brings tears to her closed eyelids.

the doctor apologizes once more, before he leaves the room and shuts the door behind him.

after another moment of silence, logan talks to the younger girl in the room, "it's okay — she's going to be okay. she's strong. she'll get through this."

though, the fact that he's lying to laura, in order to keep her from breaking down, doesn't sit well with [y/n].

"don't lie to her. she doesn't need things to be sugar-coated." she croaks out as she slowly opens her eyes.

she flinches from the bright light that hangs from the ceiling, before moving to sit up.

as she looks over to them, she notices the worry displayed on both of their faces.

but, the tear-stained cheeks of laura's concerns her the most.

laura doesn't need to tell [y/n] what she's feeling because she feels it just as much.

she nods in silent agreement, before opening her arms. "i know, baby. i know. c'mere." she murmurs, tears blurring her eyesight.

the little girl lets out a breathless sob and races into the older woman's arms, hugging her so tight, as if she's afraid that if she lets go, [y/n]'s going to disappear.

[y/n] sighs in relief, happy to have the girl near her, once again — she really did think that she was going to die on the munson property.

though, thinking back on that whole entire situation, [y/n] pulls away and looks over at logan for the first time.

she turns back to laura, giving her a sad smile.

"hey, why don't you go out to the waiting room, yeah? i need to talk to logan." she murmurs, her gaze finding his again, not being able to look away from him.

laura wordlessly nods and walks out, sensing that the two adults need some time alone.

as soon as she's gone, [y/n] clears her throat as she begins to dread asking the question that's been on her mind since she woke, just seconds ago.

though, before she can quite ask what she desperately feels that she needs to, he clears his throat as he steps closer to her.

"how are you feeling?" his voice comes out gruff, but also, filled with worry and hesitation.

"logan, that doesn't matter right now." she gulps as he rolls his eyes and throws his hands up in the air in clear frustration.

"of course it does! why do you always do this?" he questions, jaw clenched as he watches her flinch.

"do what?" she asks in a meek voice, trying to ignore the pang in her heart over how much he cares about her.

he sighs, regretting how harsh he was — he's acting just like he had that night, before everything had gotten worse.

"why do you treat yourself like you're expendable?"

[y/n] slumps in defeat, pulling her bottom lip in between her teeth — like she's been doing repeatedly — and knawing over it in anxious nerves.

logan crosses his arms over his chest, raising a brow at her as he waits for her to answer him.

though, it doesn't come.

she simply stays silent, not sure of how to answer him.

i mean... how do you even answer a question like that?

it's hard to explain why she acts the way she does — especially, when it's tied to how she acts with herself — when it's all she's ever known, her entire life.

[y/n] has always been hard on herself, as well as being reckless with her life.

though, when she met laura, that all changed — she knows that she has to stay alive, in order to protect her.

but, that doesn't mean that she doesn't hate herself or have really unhealthy coping mechanisms. because she does — thanks to her family, of course.

"[y/n]." logan calls out, snapping her out of her dark thoughts.

her eyes snap up to meet his, shock filling them — she'd forgotten where she was for a mere moment.

"i... i—i don't know, okay? i'm just used to being this way." she stutters, not sure she wants to have this conversation with him anymore.

finally making up her mind, she stands up from the table she'd been lying on, minutes before.

she sways a bit, catching logan's attention further-more, but she shakes it off as she starts to walk past him.

"we don't need to talk about this right now, logan. we need to get laura across that border." she states shakily, though she tries to hide it, as she almost makes it past him.

but, logan, having been too worried about her for so long, grunts annoyedly and gently grasps her arm, just as she's about to brush past him.

"we're not going anywhere, until we talk about this." he states seriously as she freezes in place at his words.

she sighs, wishing he just didn't care this much in the moment.

"why? logan, laura is the most important thing right now — not having a therapy session." she mutters, not daring to turn around and look at him, fearing that she will break down and spill everything to him, once she looks him in the eyes.

"you need to talk about this, sweetheart. if you don't, it's going to get you killed. and you can't afford that when you need to be there for laura."

she rolls her eyes, lowly scoffing.

hearing him talk about her mental health like this makes her mad.

how can he talk about this — like this — when he doesn't even believe the same for himself?

she whips around to face him, her face full of obvious irritation.

"really, logan? you really want to talk about this with me? when you can't even do the same for yourself?" she exclaims, finding it so damn aggravating that he's being such a hypocrite.

his eyes widen in shock, having not expected her to snap at him like this — she's usually so calm and collected.

if only he knew just how much she struggles with the anger issues she gets from her family.

"excuse me?" he asks incredulously, snapping himself out of his shocked state and quickly going back to his cold act.

"you heard me! you're trying to tell me to try to talk about my issues and try to see that i have a good life ahead of me, when you can't even do that yourself! you don't want to live, do you?" she exclaims, throwing her own hands up in the air.

she scoffs as a dark look takes over his face, jaw ticking as he tilts his head to the side.

"you really wanna do this right now, doll?" his voice almost comes out in a growl, while [y/n] refuses to let it scare her — she knows that he'd never hurt her, especially when he's just acting this tough, most likely to push her away.

"yes, because i don't need you to act like you care about me this much!" she spits out, not taking a moment to realize what she just said.

he barks out a laugh, tossing his head back in sarcastic disbelief.

"really? you think i don't care about you?"

her entire body goes weak at his question.

she didn't even realize she said it. but, there's no taking it back — not now.

with a relentless sigh, she bites down on her bottom lip and stays silent as she ducks her head down to hide the obvious tears that are just about to spill — she doesn't want him to see what kind of effect he has on her.

"well?" he asks again — much more harshly, might i add.

"yes." she whispers weakly, knowing that she only blurted out the truth.

because, sure, she'd hoped that he cared about her, but there's been some other side of her that kept telling her that he could care less about her and just couldn't wait to finally be rid of her and laura.

"you seriously fucking think i don't give a damn about you and you're well-being — along with the kid, too — at all?" he questions further, still not fully calmed down in the moment.

in fact, it seems that he's only getting more frustrated by every passing second.

without another word, she nods.

shame fills her at the thought of losing him, all because she couldn't keep her damn mouth shut.

that, and the fact that she's used to everyone leaving her.

though, she also feels hatred towards herself — she hates growing attached and dependent on others.

and losing logan? well, that scares her shitless.

especially, since people hurting and leaving her, is all that was ever done to her.

anytime she grows to care for someone and begins to trust them, they leave her all alone, only with the heartaching conclusion that she did something wrong to make them abandon her.

that, or she assumes there's something wrong with her that is so terrible that they couldn't stand her anymore.

something snaps inside of logan, not understanding how she could be so blind.

"if i didn't care about you, why would i be refusing to accept the fact that you're dying? or the fact that i care about you so much that i'm willing to give the kid a chance?" he asks as he steps closer to her, causing her breath to catch in her throat at how close they're getting to each other.

"logan—" she says hesitantly, starting to really regret this entire conversation, all together.

he shakes his head in frustration. "no. don't. we're going to have this conversation. whether you like it or not." he says in a dark voice, his facial expression becoming something of a mix between anger and bewilderness.

"i don't know where the fuck you got the idea that i don't care about you. because you're wrong. why would i change my mind about helping you and laura, if i didn't give a shit about you? why would i be protecting you this entire time, if i didn't care? or calm you down from a panic attack, or help you feel better about the blood that's now on your hands? or take care of you and make sure that you're safe?" he yells this time, completely frustrated at her for thinking for just one second that he doesn't care for her at all.

though, you'd think that a man like logan wouldn't admit to caring for her. especially, with everything he's been through, and all of the people he's lost.

i mean, the man has practically lost everything.

"i didn't want any of this. i just wanted to take care of charles and protect caliban and get through the time i have left, before everything would be going to shit, once again, like it always does." he says seriously, not taking notice of the tears flooding [y/n]'s eyes, or the trembling of her bottom lip.

he's far too overwhelmed with the current conversation.

though, it's barely even a conversation at this point — it's just him yelling and raising his voice at her.

"i didn't want any part of it. but, then you came into my life and i found myself wanting something more than the miserable fucking life i was living before. and along the ride, the more i got to know you and the kid, i've grown to see things differently — i saw you differently." he says, this time his voice becoming much more genuine and gentle.

[y/n] swears that her heart stops and the whole world disappears.

"w—what do you mean?"

"i mean that you've changed me. and i'm not going to fucking stand around, while you risk your life repeatedly, with no regards of the fact that we need you."

tears spill to her cheeks as her heartbeat quickens at his admission.

"we?" she asks in barely a whisper, wondering if she just misheard him.

"yes, we." he states with no hesitation, before suddenly walking all the way over to her.

he hesitates on his next actions, hoping to god that he hasn't read too much into the situation.

god, the thoughts running through his head is making him feel like a love-sick teenaged boy.

but, something changes when she looks up at him with both hopeful and shocked eyes. "logan—"

she stops herself, wondering if she's getting the right signs.

does he really want to kiss her, or is she just an idiot?

"doll, i can't fucking take it anymore. i can't be around you, without doing this before i regret it." he mutters as he brings his fingers up to her face, wiping away the tears on her face.

her eyebrows knit together in confusion as she looks up at him. "what do you mean? do what?"

"this." he simply says, placing his hands over her cheeks and then slams his lips onto hers.

a shocked sound comes from her, it now becoming a smothered breath as they both close their eyes and melt into it.

logan smiles into the kiss as [y/n] presses her body closer to his and wraps her arms around his neck.

then, as she opens her mouth just slightly to let out a content sigh, he takes the moment to bring the kiss to become more heated as their tongues meet together.

when they pull away, [y/n] places her hands over his chest as she takes a deep breath, heaving for air to get back into her lungs.

"wow. that was... " she trails off in a murmur, still very much speechless.

"yeah, i know." he mumbles, a small hint of a smile on his lips.

"did you really mean all of that? what you said?" she asks in a soft voice, after they stand in a few minutes of comfortable silence.

he nods. "yeah. i had to get through to you that i do care." he murmurs as they both pull away from each other.

after a few more minutes of silence, [y/n] asks the question she's been wanting to ask since she first woke up, "so, you gonna tell me where charles is yet?"

but, the answer she receives — along with the distraught expression that takes over logan's face — tells her all that she needs to know.

—————

SOMETHING IN HER KNEW THAT everything that'd happen the next day would end with only blood and innocent kids getting hurt.

but, she didn't question how she knew that.

she only knew that she'd die to protect laura and those kids. no matter what — even if things had shifted between her and logan and she wanted to try to stay alive for him.

maybe it was the fact that finding out about charles' death had more of an effect on her than anyone anticipated.

or the fact that the munson family had experienced so much pain and loss because of them.

really, it doesn't matter.

but, she wouldn't dare let transigen take laura or those kids and put them through more hell — she needed to put an end to that psychotic group.

the worst part was leaving logan while he was asleep.

she hadn't said goodbye — she only gave him a long lasting look with a sad smile, before leaving with the kids.

and laura had only assumed that [y/n] wanted to make sure they got across safely.

technically, that's not a lie. but, she hadn't exactly told anyone the full truth.

and she was right.

somehow transigen had found out where they were headed and ambushed them in the woods.

and of course, the young woman decided to stay behind to fight the men off — to protect the kids.

with a yell to them to 'get out of here, now', [y/n] struggled to fight the men — her pain in her body was only getting worse, thanks to the other stronger version of logan — but, succeeded in distracting them.

that was until one of them stabbed her in one of her legs and tied her to a tree while she was distracted.

and as they leave to hunt down the kids — one by one — something in [y/n] snaps.

she's never felt so much gut-wrenching pain over the thought of losing a child that was never truly hers in the first place.

but, the thought of those kids — those innocent children, who only want freedom and normalcy — being brutally murdered for being born and having the powers that they do, changes something in her.

her blood runs cold as a shiver runs through her body at the thought of finding their bodies.

scorching, hot tears spill from her eyes and she just can't help it as she lets out the loudest, most pain-filled scream.

the kids hear this, and it makes them stop for a moment.

but, this distracts them for too long as some of the men have found them and begin to capture some of them.

though, another yell — one that belongs to a very familiar, protective man — distracts some of the men and laura helps the rest of the kids break free.

[y/n], now exhausted from that one scream and the agonizing pain filling her entire body, she helplessly sobs in both emotional and physical pain. she feels so weak.

but, before she can fall further into that negative and dark mindset, a pair of heavy footsteps makes her freeze in her place.

though, as she looks up, she realizes that it's only logan.

as he kneels down in front of her, his face filled with worry for her, she lets out a cry of relief. "logan?"

he musters up a soft smile — one that's only recently been reserved for her — and tears the ropes free of her hands.

"hey, sweetheart. you didn't think you'd be doing this alone, did ya?" he asks, trying to lighten the mood as he rips off a piece of flannel off of his shirt and wraps it around her leg that's currently bleeding out.

tears find their way to her eyes again as her bottom lip trembles.

"they're going to kill them, logan." she cries out, not being able to think about anything else.

a look of both anger and worry for laura and the other kids finds its way to his face as he helps her up, before placing one of her arms over his shoulder.

"don't worry. we're going to help them."

"promise?" she asks in a whisper.

he nods as he begins to walk further into the woods, in the direction of the screaming kids.

"i promise. we're not leaving until they're safe. alright?" he tells her as she starts to walk on her own, ignoring the pain.

she nods, agreeing with him. "good. because i had the same idea." she mumbles as they get to the entrance of the field that the children are being dragged to.

ultimately, with some hesitation, the couple decides to split up.

though, logan hands her some weapons to help her, before placing a loving kiss to her temple and murmuring a 'be safe'.

then, they're both sneaking around trying to scope the area out, and trying to find an opening to get this shit done without too much blood and death.

worry and confusion fills [y/n] as logan hurries right into the middle of the field, obviously going for the confrontation approach as she finds laura.

the girl hides behind her by a tree as they both watch the scene playing out before them.

"oh, look who it is!" one of them sarcastically exclaims, before slamming the end of his gun into a boy's head, immediately knocking him out.

the doctor and logan talk; the doctor tries to play nice, while logan is just not having it.

while there's nothing much happening, [y/n] kneels down and faces laura.

"you think you can go to your friends without getting caught? i gotta help logan get the bad guys, okay?"

laura nods, silent worry evident on her face, but she doesn't say anything as she sneaks back towards the nearest vehicle, which is where the rest of the other kids are being held by.

[y/n] takes a deep breath as she begins to sneak closer, making sure if a fight happens, she'll be able to step in — even if she is only human.

but then, suddenly, logan shoots both donald and the doctor in pure anger.

donald yells in pain, holding his now destroyed hand and runs over to one of the other vehicles closest to him.

the fighting starts as laura attacks some of the men, near the rest of the children.

one of the other kids being held uses their powers to electrecute the men sitting inside the vehicle.

[y/n] takes the moment to step forward and shoot two of the men in the head, shocking the kids.

then, she turns to laura. "get you and your friends out of here. logan and i will handle the rest."

laura wordlessly nods as she helps the kids get up and get out of their handcuffs.

but, as logan follows the asshole that no longer has a hand anymore, the other version of the wolverine — the evil one — appears behind one of the doors of the vehicle and shoves him back with pure rage.

"logan!" [y/n] yells, stepping forward in distress as she completely forgets about the kids that are getting ready to run.

the two wolverines continue to fight each other — the evil version having more of an upper-hand.

laura takes out the rest of the men as [y/n] steps forward when the evil wolverine stabs logan in the back and throws him into the air, far away from him.

something dark swirls around in her gut — some of it is just her being protective of logan, and the other is something that she's never felt before in her entire life.

"get the hell away from him, you fucking piece of shit!" she screams as she steps in front of logan protectively and starts shooting her gun.

this, though — no matter how many times or where she shoots her gun at him — only makes him more angry.

becoming a little nervous, [y/n] backs up as she pulls out one of her daggers.

just as he gets close enough to her to hurt her, she thrusts the weapon into his side.

but, this has no effect on him as he shoves his claws into her gut — repeating history.

a shocked gasp leaves her as she tries to keep the whimpers of pain shoved deep inside of her.

logan growls as he watches the evil version of him find satisfaction in hurting her.

then, as he stands up, [y/n] slowly backs up — despite all of the pain she feels — as the claws pull themselves out of her stomach.

the evil wolverine prepares to strike her again, but logan isn't about to let that happen; he rushes forward and shoves her behind him as he uses all of his strength to throw the much more powerful monster away from them.

then, he grabs a broken door off of the ground and tries to take out his head from his neck with it.

but, it doesn't help that when the monstrous version of logan sees the doctor dead on the ground.

there's also donald deciding to motivate him by telling him that logan killed him — this obviously brings him to fight back against logan and shove him and the door to the ground.

he growls angrily as [y/n] runs over to help logan get up.

but, then, donald shoots a graveling hook into one of logan's legs.

[y/n] yells out in pure irritation as she turns to shoot him in the head.

he lets out a shocked breath as he falls to the ground.

[y/n]'s not sure if that killed him or not, but at least he'll be done for — at least, for a few minutes.

while both [y/n] and laura are busy trying to fight different people, logan angrily rips the hook out of his leg, yelling in beyond-imaginable pain.

more of the kids appear to drown donald in the nature of the grass, which eventually kills him.

as the evil wolverine goes for laura, logan and [y/n] share a look, before she's running to get the little girl to stay behind her, while logan stays to fight the other version of him.

"stay behind me, okay? this isn't your fight."

laura — for the first time in a while — sends her mother-figure a terrified look.

[y/n] sighs regretfully. "it's okay. he's not going to touch you." she says, before facing the evil logan before them.

as she notices that the kid that donald had with him, is trying to lift up a heavy truck near them, [y/n] grabs laura's hand and shoves her in logan's direction.

"you guys need to get out of here."

"no! not without you!" laura yells, tears filling her eyes as logan pulls her close and hesitantly keeps her behind him.

[y/n] gulps down her pride as she allows a few tears to escape. "i know. but, you have to. logan will protect you — i promise. but, you have to go. now!" she yells, before the monster in front of them comes to notice them all very quickly.

laura hesitates, but stays with logan.

"sweetheart—" logan begins to say, but [y/n] refuses to look him in the eyes as she steps forward and tries to fight off the evil version of him — she can't look him in the eyes as she realizes that there's only one way this is going to end.

and if it's going to be up to her, she'll do just about anything to make sure he and laura — and the other kids that remain — get out of there safely, and alive.

as she fights the monster once more, [y/n] yells to the real logan, not turning to look at him, "get yourselves out of here! i didn't survive all of this, just for you to die on my watch. go!"

the pain in her body becomes even much more hard to bear as she pushes the evil logan back, just as the other kid is able to make it so that the truck lands directly on top of him.

with a sigh of relief, logan and laura start walking towards [y/n], but, she's not willing to risk that monster surviving this and killing them and everyone else.

"no! you guys have to go!"

but, it's too late.

just as she turns back to face the vehicle, one side lifts itself up, before falling back down — he's still alive.

the thought of having to watch them die brings back the searing, hot tears as she runs over to them and pushes them further away.

"go, please!" she cries out, needing to do anything to keep them safe.

the evil wolverine eventually escapes from under the truck and when he's standing — quite angrily and vengeful, might i add — he runs straight for her.

though, instead of running in the other direction, [y/n] clutches her dagger and runs straight at him.

once she reaches him, she swallows down her fear and slams the tip of the dagger straight into the side of his head as she kicks him back, his back hitting the edge of one of the many vehicles.

this only makes him more angry, though; in a fit of more intensified rage, he slams his claws into her stomach — for the second time that day — before dragging her to a broken stump with sharp edges surrounding it.

as body meets sharpness and wood, laura screams out as the blood spurts out of [y/n]'s lips.

she chokes as she struggles to breath — even more so, this time — body wracking with breathless sobs.

her eyes meet logan's.

his face is utterly torn. tears — something he never has let happen in a very long, long time — have spilled to his cheeks.

"p—please... " she cries out in between the blood that's repeatedly falling from her lips and the struggle to breathe as the evil logan mercilessly shoves her back against the sharp edges of wood, before stabbing her with his claws once, twice...

"g—get her out... of h—here!" she finishes, just before laura has had enough and snaps, grabbing one of the guns off of the ground and shoots the monster straight in the head.

this destroys half of his face, before he limply falls to the ground, unmoving.

both logan and laura run over to [y/n] as she lets out a choked sigh of relief, grateful that she doesn't have to endure any more new injuries.

though, she's still growing more and more weak by every passing second.

the little girl sobs loudly as she drops the gun to the ground beside them.

without another thought, she lies her head on [y/n]'s chest.

she moves her very shaky hand up to hold laura's as she tries to stay awake — just for a bit longer.

her breaths become much more hollow as logan falls to his knees, right in front of her, on the other side of her.

his face is filled with so many different emotions; love, fear, guilt, worry.

"you know... m—meeting you, james," she pauses, gulping in pain as she tries to find the words she needs to say before it's too late, while logan's heart almost stops beating at the realization that she just called him by his real name.

"it... was the best thing that ever happened to me... " she trails off as an extremely pain-filled cough with more blood falling from her lips escapes her.

laura cries once more, not wanting to lose the woman who's only ever protected and loved her, despite all the bad things she was forced to do.

"don't go... " she lets out as her tears fall onto [y/n]'s weaker-by-the-minute-body.

[y/n] chokes on her own cries as she clutches the little girl's hand in a tighter grasp.

"i—i'm so sorry." she cries out as her heart pangs at what her possible death is doing to both laura and logan.

he clenches his jaw angrily as he bites down on his bottom lip in frustration.

"why didn't you just let me take care of this?" he asks in a tight tone of voice, trying to ignore the extra tears swirling around in his eyes.

she gives him a sad smile, her heart breaking completely. "because... it had to be me." she croaks out as another coughing fit begins to escape her.

"and because i... i couldn't lose you guys... because i—i love you," she whispers, starting to hate the fact that right when the three of them had just started to feel like a real family, something like this tears them apart — forever.

"b—both of you." she finishes, more blood trailing around her lips and sliding down to her chin.

hearing those words leave her lips allows logan to feel so much pain that the tears finally spill.

he ducks his head down, trying to hide his emotions.

[y/n] frowns as she notices this.

"it's... okay. i wouldn't have this any other way," she states as she cups his cheek with her other bloody hand. "dying for the man i love, and... the little girl that's become like my d—daughter? it... s—sounds kinda like a pe—perfect ending to a great story." she murmurs, trying to hide how much she wishes to just stay with them.

but, on another hand, she's also made peace with it — that she's going to die.

because — deep down — despite how much she didn't want to accept it, she knew that sacrificing herself for the people she loves dearly, is the only way she wanted to go out.

"logan... " she coughs, once more, as her breaths becomes much more shallow — death is almost about to knock on her door.

he looks at her, waiting for her to tell him what she needs to.

"p—please... be happy. don't... d—don't let my death be the end of the happiness and the good life you both deserve."

as those words sink into his head, he desperately wants to tell her that there is no happiness or life without her — she's become like home to him.

for the first time, in a very long time, he's grown to want the life he's tried to avoid having — he's been punishing himself for so long that meeting her was the one exception to actually wanting that life. but, with her.

but, before he can say anything — and tell her this — she turns to laura, who hasn’t pulled away from her as she tries to desperately wipe away her tears.

"laur, baby, everything's going to be alright, okay? i know that you're scared. and you have every r—right to... to be. but, logan's gonna protect you and take care of you, o—okay?" she murmurs in stutters, trying to hold on for as long as she can, starting to feel how slow her heart is beating now.

laura cries harder as [y/n] takes one deep breath. "do—don't... don't be the m—monster they made... made you i—into — be b—better." she whispers as her breaths slows now.

before the last beat of her heart hits her body, she sighs with a content, happy smile, despite dying so fast. "take care of e—each o—other... for m—me, o—okay?"

then, as that last beat hits her body and heart, the light slowly leaves her eyes and her face begins to relax as both of her hands drop to the ground, limp and unmoving.

"no!" laura yells in anger and fear as the emotions quickly escape her, now realizing that she's gone.

logan, not being able to handle his own grief, stands up and walks over to laura, without saying anything as he kneels down beside her.

laura jumps into his arms and lets everything out.

they both stand there for god knows how long, only drowning in their grief, with the other kids standing behind them, feeling pity and sympathy for them.

[y/n] may have only known them for a small amount of time, but still, she made an impression on them, for the better.

#logan howlett #logan howlett imagine #logan howlett imagines #logan howlett one-shot #logan howlett one-shots #logan howlett x reader #wolverine #wolverine imagine #wolverine imagines #wolverine one-shot #wolverine one-shots #wolverine x reader #hugh jackman #hugh jackman imagine #hugh jackman imagines #hugh jackman one-shot #hugh jackman one-shots #hugh jackman x reader #x-men #x-men imagine #x-men imagines #x-men one-shot #x-men one-shots #x-men x reader #marvel #marvel imagine #marvel imagines #marvel one-shot #marvel one-shots #marvel x reader

[fandomsnstuff]

We're two weeks in team! Have some simple blupjeans chatter

Day 14: celebrity au

Barry's just trying to buy a new tv for their bedroom, but Lup wants to talk about his celebrity status.

Read it on AO3

Barry considers the different tvs in front of him. “The 45 should be enough for where we're putting it. What do you think, babe?” He looks at Lup, but she's looking off in some other direction. “Lup?” 

She turns to him. “Hm?” 

“The tv?” 

“Oh, yeah, whatever you want is fine.” She looks away again. 

“Alright, uh,” he turns back to the sales associate helping them, “we'll go with the 45 inch one then.” 

“Great! Just wait right here and I'll go grah the box from the back.” 

They walk away, and Barry says to Lup, “what has you so distracted.” 

She glances at him and grins. She links her arm through his and points to a tv nearby, “look.” 

It's playing an episode of a cheesy mafia-themed soap opera. The same mafia-themed soap opera Barry was cast in 30 years ago to play the mob boss's fifteen year old son. The scene playing at the moment is from a recent season, showing Barry all done up in a suit, surveying some sort of shipment. 

He rolls his eyes. “You're ridiculous.” 

She laughs. “You're probably the only mainstream celebrity who comes to Best Buy for his tvs.” 

“There's no way I'm mainstream. I'm like a T-list celebrity at best."

“Oh, come on. You're on Netflix!” 

“Have you seen some of the shit on there? It's like finding an old can of beans from 1962 at the back of your grandma's cupboard sometimes. Plus,” he gestures vaguely at the tv, “the show's been running for over 30 years now, some streaming service was bound to pick it up eventually. It's not an indication of my celebrity status.” 

Lup tuts. “You're selling yourself short, Bluejeans. You've gotta be at least E-list. The kids are getting into older shows nowadays.”

“I never get recognized in public.” 

“Bullshit. There was that one time-” 

“On the rare occasion that I do, they're almost always over the age of 60.” He gives Lup a look as he cuts her off, knowing she was going to mention that time they were on a road trip and a table of older women recognized him in a diner. She purses her lips, thinking. “You get recognized more than I do,” he says. “You're more of a celebrity than I am.” 

“There's no way a YouTube channel makes me more famous than you, who's been a staple of daytime television since you were fifteen.” 

“Oh yeah?” He tilts his head to indicate behind her, “six o'clock.” 

“Excuse me?” Right on cue, a 20-something customer comes up to them. “I'm so sorry, but are you Lup Taaco?” 

Barry takes a picture for them, and Lup talks to them for a few quick minutes until the sales associate comes back with their tv. The fan thanks her and scurries away. Barry takes the flat cart from the associate and starts driving it to the cash registers. “Told you,” he says.

“Shut up.” She crosses her arms. “I refuse to accept this slander to your popularity.” 

“Lup, I'm a pudgy white guy in his 40s wearing jeans and a t-shirt. I'm practically set decoration when I'm in public. Now, if I walked around in a suit and waved a gun around going,” he makes a finger gun and does a silly impression of his tv self, “give me my fuckin’ money or I'll kill ya! Then I might get a little more attention.” 

Lup considers this. “I don't think people would appreciate that.” 

“No, I don't think they would. Unfortunately tv is pretend and I don't actually run the seedy underbelly of a major city.” 

They get to the register, and Lup digs into her purse for her wallet. “Well at least we don't have to worry about the paps following us around.” 

“And we can go to Best Buy for tvs.” 

#taz fic #blupjeans #barry bluejeans #lup #lup taaco

[eyedove]

alright whats up fuckers get timelined.

you want your deep taagnus fankid lore, this might be the only spot ya get it for a while. also included: a little on lup's first kid, a LOT on taako having a bad time in general, some relationship details btwn taako and magnus past and present, casey character development to follow it up, and then a little bit on the twins. the, like, little twins, i mean. the ones that taako and magnus have.

warnings for taako’s general, like, everything: identity crisis, his issues socializing, loneliness, depression, gender dysphoria (weirdly enough, not pregnancy related), his experience with chronic pain, and later being diagnosed with a connective tissue disorder, which in itself is not a trigger warning but moreso his dealing with it is not particularly healthy and could be sort of self-harm-y in a way. and for magnus: his RSD is mentioned, his self-worth issues are alluded to, mentions of past self harm, he gets very emotional about family planning in regards to past relationships, his death is eventually mentioned but isn’t part of the timeline nor is it gone in depth on.

in general they’re also just… taako and magnus. they’re kind of shitty guys and kind of immature and kind of fucked up. they’re good to their kids, they’re just still, y’know. taako and magnus.

i can not stress enough, pregnancy and issues relating to this. difficulties conceiving and postpartum depression are IN. HERE. everything turns out and everyone involved is perfectly fine, it just takes some time to get there and it’s a rough road, but they ultimately end up doing it twice and they’re both pretty firmly in the camp of it being worth it.

anything else that needs to be mentioned please let me know holy shit and i’ll exercise my best judgment, cus i know some of it might be wild to read, but i want to get triggers down for the most part. stuff that’s not triggering, like… oops, sorry, but. it’s taagnus mpreg what do you WANT FROM ME. if i listed everything that people might not like it would just be another 6k words.

basics:

lup’s first kid, missy, is about 5 years older than casey, who was carried by taako, and is about 3½ years older than elodie, who’s a few minutes older than rian, both of which were carried by magnus.

tl;dr coming soon. and by tl;dr i mean a shorter version that’s been picked through and had all of the bullshit unnecessary garbage taken out. :)

timeline:

- after story & song magnus and taako do not talk for like a year. it’s rough. they correspond a little, magnus sends him funny good things he finds like fuckin. silly chainmail messages and pictures of stuff he thinks taako might like, but he’s trying his best not to overstep any boundaries. taako has not actually established these boundaries. magnus has just sort of assumed them. unfortunately, taako is not a guy who goes out of his way to go to magnus’ place of residence and yell at him.

- but he doesn’t keep it up forever. he does go fucking find magnus. and he does go yell at him. and magnus does kind of have a fit about it. but it’s fine. it’s taako, and he also knows that getting down here was probably. a hell of a lot. and he does appreciate it.

- they immediately click though. because of course they do. and a year and change is a long time for them to go without each other while also actively knowing that they’ve gone without each other. it’s weird. taako one minute is living in lup’s empty ass house because she’s at work and kravitz is at work and he hates everyone who has any time to spend with him, and then the next, he and magnus are picking out like. the color of the accent wall in the livingroom. what kind of flooring should be in the hallways. (magnus wants hardwood, taako refuses to go with anything except shag. carpeting.)

- it’s sort of nice! taako stays a homebody but he’s not completely disconnected. weirdly enough, he sees more of lup. and kravitz. and barry and merle and davenport and everyone. mostly because he doesn’t avoid outings as much. and because he starts going to parties. and goes fishing with davenport. and gets all of his and magnus’ weed from merle that he felt too fucking sick to sit home alone and smoke himself. magnus still has like, a business to run. and taako kind of does, too, sort of, even though he’s been really fucking that up recently and taking a huge backseat on accident.

- anyway, they settle. taako’s doing okay. magnus is doing okay. they had already decided years and years and years ago they weren’t gonna get married and EXTRA aren’t gonna now. magnus doesn’t want to get married again. taako hates it as a concept. it’s complicated. but they’re together. it’s semi-open. taako occasionally sleeps with other people. rarely. listen, he barely goes out, let alone fucks around, and magnus knows it.

- lup has missy like 2 yrs after taako moves out. which does mean that she got pregnant only like a year after he left (elven gestation w/ their slow ass metabolisms), which he’s a little peeved about, but whatever, he gets it. he’s happy for her. he’s not as absolutely gutted as he thought he’d be if it ever happened. is he numb? he can't tell.

- turns out he's… not? maybe? yes, taako being dissociated and numb usually results in being a little more blase about stuff than hed normally be, but he feels. in it. he has an attachment that he's used to having, because it's lup, and it feels almost natural again. almost? there is no way he's picking this feeling apart. they will remain complicated forever because a child is definitely not something that he has to confront (all lies he knows he knows better.)

- weird concept: so how about confront it?

- taako is weirded out by this Thing. lup’s proud of it, though, and magnus is immediately and irreparably damaged by holding this baby, taako can see it in his stupid face, the way he just fucking. grins. and tears up and holds this thing so gently. lup is looking at taako like do not let this guy squish my baby, i’ll kill you, and taako’s just thinking the whole time, yeah, i get it, but like. fucking look at him.

- anyway rightfully she doesn’t let magnus hold the thing for more than like ten minutes before she wants it back but it’s fine - they all relax, taako worries about something else for a change, gets his heart ripped out of his body still beating by this thing crying, everything’s good.

- and now he’s obsessed. partly just with missy, lup’s baby, because she’s hilarious and she’s cute, and she literally just keeps getting FUCKING cuter, but partly with the idea of. baby. like. he could have one of those. he’s got everything for it. like, a house, and a boyfriend, and… financial stability. emotional stability? yeah, man! like, he’s super getting there, isn’t he?!

- he and magnus talk one night. taakos literally sat on his chest over the top of him and starts asking him abt this fucking coffee table lup bought when she first moved into her house, and magnus is like oh yeah, i like that thing, it’s really cool, i kinda wanna make one just like it, but it feels like it’d be copying, at this point. and taako’s like holy shit EXACTLY. exactly correct. but what if we did anyway. just, like, in our own. way. y’know? it’d be different if we did it. we could handle it. we have space for it. if we both worked on it maybe we could like. take care of it. sides, it’d be nice to just. have more shit that has some of you. in it. that will last a long time. so i don’t have to like, go out and replace it later, and i… know that it’s from you, and everything, y’know.

- anyway they keep having this conversation. like, every day, taako brings this up. talks about hey, listen, i know that this is uncharacteristic. you gotta take me seriously here, though. i’m so serious. and magnus is like… serious about… buying a coffee table? and taako’s like NO. i mean maybe, if the conversation must go in that. direction. later, but we’re fucking. capable, are we not?? of doing it ourselves? or we should at least find out?

- eventually magnus asks him, hey, are we… talking about… the kind of coffee table. that you and me, have, uh, tried to make. before? and taako goes LOL, tried?! no. we’ve never had the time or resources to get it like, anywhere near a real project. pal, have we maybe accidentally started on it, and then had that shit totally made useless like every other bodily state ever over and over for ninety nine years? i genuinely dunno man, if we have, that’s between our respective guts, the coffee table, and god only. and magnus just goes ohh. so we are definitely talking about the same thing. okay. oh wow.

- they decide they want one! theyll fucking. build a damn. coffee table. okay.

- and so they start! and they work on it! and they fucking! try! they do eventually get to the point where they can say aloud that they’re trying for a baby. it takes an embarrassingly long time. they are not known for their healthy communication. but taako forces it out into the light eventually. he's okay with being silly about it on a basic level but listen, someone has to rein magnus in a little bit on that. a little. (magnus actually hadn't expected taako to go for it, calling what they're doing having kids, so it's a huge surprise and an extremely positive one, because as much as he's stalwart in the idea of honoring the concept, he also kinda gets it.)

- they don't tell people at first. this is entirely because they KNOW people will be weird about it. but the moment he needs someone to complain to he tells lup and then it quickly gets around elsewhere - which. fairly, most people are kind of skeptical. it’s taako. taako? child? lup, though, kinda knows. she still has early adulthood memories of conversations complaining about the world and guys devolving into if i ever have kids... and how early on taako did show interest. how it kind of became a thing he stopped talking about over the decades. she believes him. and her believing him makes it easier for everyone else to kind of fall into place about it.

- and taako has a few freakouts. a couple total meltdowns. but they got it. they get it, after almost two years. they get it down, and both of them flip their absolute FUCKING lids but taako way moreso than magnus was expecting in any way shape or form. yeah, it was taakos idea. yeah, its taako whos carrying, so hes probably way excited about it. he just didnt expect such an explosive reaction out of him. given that he's, y'know. taako.

- literally every problem taakos ever had becomes an issue. his bullshit tolerance is now: none. his energy level is now: none. his heat tolerance is now: none. his blood pressure is now: none. his ability to cook and feed himself is now: uhh, very little. which that second thing is not super abnormal, but the first one kinda sucks more than usual. this also peaks right in the middle of summer. hes convinced hes dying. (hes not. they absolutely make sure hes not.)

- he DOES like having a good excuse to make everyone else do everything for him. not a huge fan of the genuine doting, but having someone on call for a bucket any time any where is a power he didnt know he wanted. he doesnt use it genuinely very often, but magnus is GREAT at coming when called, and thats funny.

- they pointedly do not know the sex. it is partly performative. it is partly because taako is in the THICK of a gender crisis (had been before he got pregnant even, it hasn't gotten particularly worse, but it's still there) and if someone in his life found out and started prescribing shit even on accident or coincidentally based on the thing's genitalia he'd fucking lose his shit, so they just don't know, they're not gonna know, it's not a big deal, leave him alone.

- taakos naturally a toe walker. not abnormal for elves from the two sunned plane. their feet are just built for it. he manages to maintain this for a little while. he's always fluctuated in weight, he's fine - but his balance does indeed get so bad, even with his tail, that he has to start walking on his whole foot so he doesn't lean forward.

- this makes him like four inches shorter than usual. this makes him like five inches shorter than magnus. this makes him SHORTER THAN LUP. and he fucking. despises it. he's still taller than magnus BARELY when he has his ears straight up but this is all he has, and those ears rarely stand up for any long amount of time without extreme effort. they’re HEAVY.

- it does make magnus hugs nice though. magnus won't bearhug him + break his back anymore for the time being, which he misses, but he gets to stuff his face into magnus' chest. which he likes. hes starting to think MAYBE. maybe after he has this baby he MIGHT occasionally get down on his heels just so he can do this. SOMETIMES. but only around select people. there are only a handful of chests hes cool with being smothered in. magnus definitely tops this list.

- it fucking HURTS his HEELS. fuck his ankles or whatever, his heels!!!! he's not used to putting any weight on them. theyre bruised and blistery and he hates it. magnus will now be carrying him forever. (he says this but ends up being the most hermited motherfucker of all time, worse than taako's normal, which is not good, but whatever. people like to come over to HIS HOME and BOTHER HIM, so he doesnt need to go to functions he can't drink or smoke at anyway).

- he is, however, feeling really fucking good about how fucking AWESOME he is, currently. like, one, everyone had to admit that he’s taking things super super well, and two, he’s being SO open right now. he’s being so chill. he’s being communicative, he’s being honest. he’s not being NICE because that’s just not on the table for taako, but he’s kind of enjoying having a good excuse to be a little more snuggly. a little more needy. sometimes. when he’s not so pissed off he could scream.

- magnus is a fucking. wreck. hes good! hes doing good! but hes crying ALL the TIME. and its PISSING taako off slowly more and more. he knows its just because hes worried or overwhelmed or whatever. who cares. its annoying. he is nice though. maybe the nicest hes ever been to taako. there are a significant number of people who are being nice to him, actually, which is hilarious, and also extremely frustrating. LUP. even lup wont fuck with him in the same way. he has to keep pressing her buttons harder and harder to get her to react. HOWEVER: one person is still ready to pick on him.

- lup's 5 y/o daughter. is RELENTLESS. and honest to god one of the most stable and delightful things throughout the whole pregnancy. this kid has only the vaguest idea of what's going down, is extremely nice, but also compromises NO asks. if she wants him to make her breakfast she WILL cry about it. if she wants to play with his hair, she'll figure out how to do it, even if shes gotta ambush him. great tenacity on this girl.

- they have casey, their first kid, spring-ish? early spring. they have her at home. it sounds like a great idea at the time, and it turns out perfectly fine, but there is the ego barrier of describing to people the story of your firstborn child being PLANNED on being delivered by a lich and the grim reaper along with the boyfriend and then ending up getting stagefright. this is good, you might think, this means grubby corpsehands aren't on your newly born child! and you would be correct, instead it's just magnus, who is crying MORE than the baby and taako combined and it's FUCKING annoying, and lup's not even there to make it funnier. it's fine. it's like, bonding. and shit.

- shes small. smaller than taako would have thought and also would have hoped, and shes bald, and her ears are fucked up somehow, they dont have anything, like, in them to move them around or whatever it seems like, but maybe she'll grow into that. maybe that's fine. not a whole lot of info out there currently on babies who are half alien elf half alien human. so yknow. as long as she's eating and breathing and warm and clean they're pretty happy.

- taako can not let this thing go. magnus occasionally gets to hold her or feed her, but for her first nine/ten days, taako has her almost exclusively and wont put her down. he started sleeping later into his pregnancy because it required less effort than meditating (altho it takes more time), but hes back to it now, so he can keep this baby, who he has still not named btw!, in his arms and remain alert enough to sleep with her.

- two weeks. three weeks. she's FINALLY getting a little bigger. MAYBE taako can manage to have people over to see her in person instead of just showing photos. maybe. the amount of people that technically know about this kid's existence even is a ridiculously low number. the amount of people in the public that knew he was having a kid is most, since he made a statement about it, but the kid herself was never, like. announced. he just doesn't. want to share. at all.

- gets rough. gets really rough. having lup and missy over nearly kills him. he cant even let his TWIN SISTER hold his baby. what the fuck is wrong with him? what is wrong with their relationship? why does he feel like it somehow makes him a better parent when it does not? why has he lost all control of what emotional stability he had? he'd been worried he wouldn't be attached enough to her, that he'd fuckin, abandon her or whatever, and it's so nice that that fear was unwarranted that he doesn't want to confront that he's overcorrecting.

- missy gets to hold casey before lup does. and taako feels bad about it, kinda. BUT: she didn't technically hold the baby on her own, taako just held her while missy put her arms under her as well, but still. then lup. this was a few visits in. casey is still not technically named yet, but taako knows already. kinda.

- she gets her name by two months. it's not elven, like he and lup had, but it's got the same basic rules, which is a compromise he and magnus come up with. once she gets old enough, if she wants something else, she fuckin' names herself. if she wants something else for like. gender purposes, they'll deal with that when that comes up. for now she's casey. burnsides? maybe.

- she stays FUCKING BALD. taako can not get over it. he has hair. magnus is COVERED in it. why's she bald? why's she SO BALD?

- magnus is audhd and taako is autistic. they know that she's gonna probably not necessarily follow the average infant timeline. this turns out to be extremely true. she's very quiet. she makes noises, but even as she gets into multiple years of exposure, she doesn't speak common or elvish, except repeating certain phrases she's heard often (some of her favorites are calling magnus mean names and 'i don't want to', because the former makes her parents laugh and the latter makes uncomfortable situations resolve a lot of the times it's used).

- she also doesn't walk. ok, she kinda walks, she gets up on her feet and uses walls and objects to walk alongside them, or walks slowly with a leg to hold onto. she's very particular and delicate about her foot placement, but still ends up with her ankles out. magnus thinks she might be rolling them? but she seems okay? they get that checked out, though. definitely. make sure she's not in pain or anything. she ends up with some braces for her ankles and heel, but she's still more than a little pigeon toed.

- casey is a shy little thing. very observant. she likes watching people do things. literally anything. she will sit and watch taako cook, she likes to watch the aquarium, she likes to watch people write and draw and cast spells, she likes making other people play with her toys so she can watch. she sleeps with taako and magnus more often than not, either being held by taako while he meditates or lying between them on the mattress once she gets a little older.

- missy ADORES her. missy is a little upset that she doesn't like dressing up and having her hair played with, but she loves casey's dark red hair, thinks shes super cute, loves her floppy ears, just adores her. this is, to her, her baby sister, and taako and lup do nothing to dissuade that. basically are sisters, right? who cares. they live right next to each other, and see each other almost every day, since taako does a lot of watching them during the day now, which… admittedly, he's still working on, but he's got like 8 years of experience by now, three of those with his own baby, so he's. like, getting it. he's understanding it.

- this is around the time taako starts hiring out losers to watch the children (or child, sometimes just casey). ie he makes angus do it when possible, or alum he's still pals with from some of the first years of the school's establishing, or other family friends who are around. merle's off limits. as is she who shall not be MENTIONED in his household.

- with a tiny bit of time alone magnus and taako find out that … they want another kid. taako brings it up. another baby. oops. 

- again, taako brings it up, but magnus is fully on board. except… hold on not really: shit was ridiculously rough on taako specifically, and he’s really, really not excited to have taako go thru it again. which is fair. definitely in the top 100 shitty wild things that have happened to taako, if only for the relative novelty of it and how much it sticks in his memory (haw-haw), but like. he wouldn’t say it if he wasn’t willing to do it one more time. like, just once. he’s got it in the bag now, he knows what’s up. plus, he would not at all mind having like. a year off. of just being sick and hanging out with casey and missy. magnus is skeptical. their decision is easier this time, though, even with everything considered.

- they talk about it briefly but they’re pretty into the idea of magnus carrying, maybe. if they can get it to work. they had some fuckin issues last time, so, like. what if they start trying (stressful but cool), see if it sticks (lower amount of stress, more casual) and if it does that’s cool, and if it doesn’t, oops, must be something that’s not gonna happen? magnus is an older guy at this point, which was factored in but ultimately didn’t keep them from giving it a shot. once again they start trying without actually telling. anybody. except each other. mostly because it’s not set in stone.

- funnily enough? performing in this way specifically gives taako weird dysphoria. there’s also a little scene in which magnus, who’s been out as nonbinary for like, 15 years at this point, talks about how he’s totally cool with carrying a child, doesn’t bother him, he’s nonbinary, NOT that it’d be weird if a man did it, because you did it taako and that was fine, and that also makes taako squirm a little. he’s working on it. he’s spent so fucking long getting that like, femme in a masculine way thing down, why’s it bothering him now?? ugh.

- luckily, doesn’t take a whole lot of trying. unluckily, taako is a little annoyed that magnus gets pregnant so easily. whatever. he still gets his baby out of it. (yeah, casey is his baby, this baby is their baby, since he can’t claim it all himself, but it’s still definitely partly his, duh. casey is just his though.)

- angus starts doing babysitting stuff for casey. taako ALSO ends up getting his GODDAMN… joints checked out. fine. whatever. for casey, because she’s having issues with her joints too, obviously, and he can talk about how he feels slightly more than his mostly nonverbal toddler. he’s forced himself to be verbal over the fucking. centuries. so he gets it. he can handle maybe informing whatever genetic thing she’s fucking got, cus he’s kind of always known that lup doesn’t have nearly the same difficulty he does with chronic pain. so this is on him. this is on him now.

- taako gets himself a nonspecific hypermobility disorder diagnosis. so, like, sweet, i fuckin guess, he’s gone like 300 years without it. also, they don’t even have an actual name for it. thanks. feels awesome. after years and years of forcing it down, he’s forced to actually pay attention to the pain and it Fucking Sucks. not a project he thought he’d be starting on while magnus was pregnant, but whatever. it’s fine. life is FINE.

- magnus is actually faring really well. which is also jealousy-inducing in taako. anyway, magnus is sort of miserable about how low energy he is, suddenly, though, but that’s about the most of it, since his brain doesn’t slow down to match the pace of his body. not in the traditional sense, anyway. taako does not understand what he means by this because to him magnus is still bouncing off the walls. he is, however, a great source of humor at the time (as he fucking ALWAYS is, taako always finds him ridiculously stupidly too fucking funny for him to even be REAL, ugh).

- double appointment day. taako sends casey off with angus, and they’re gonna do… whatever they do. he’s given angus some free rein on what he does with the baby. he kinda trusts angus’ instinct. a little more than he did when casey was an infant, anyway. this is a decision he will eventually regret, because while he is getting the shit annoyed out of him by being quizzed on his pain and fitted for digitigrade AFOs he doesn’t want to use (the other braces recommended arent as bad since his like, fingers aren’t so different from most people’s, it’s just just feet and legs that need extra special shit) and then getting slammed with the major whammy of the fact that up until now magnus has been RIGHT: they’ve been missing a TWIN at past appts, and twins are now for sure confirmed. plus, angus is doing unspeakable things, ie he has been introducing casey to lucretia even though taako has said this should not be done at all. today, lucretia makes the mistake of seeing if taako has been teaching her elven sign language.

- magnus is beyond stoked, taako is torn between being excited and being extremely, outrageously jealous because if one of them was going to have twins, it should have been him, goddammit. but whatever. they tell the relevant parties: ie again it stays mostly under wraps except to really close family.

- casey continues seeing lucretia. it’s not a SECRET, it’s just not being said out loud to taako, exactly, is angus’ reasoning here. they both know that it’s going to get out eventually - and it happens sooner rather than later, for sure. what ends up breaking it wide open is one night taako is watching casey and she makes a motion at him that he’s absolutely certain at first is a sign, but it’s just mixed in with a bunch of other hand waving and other movements she’s prone to doing. so it can’t be. plus, he hasn’t been teaching her elven sign. nobody has, have they? So after she goes to bed, taako stands in front of magnus and makes the same series of movements - nonsense and all, and gets confirmation from magnus that it looks a lot like sign language, but magnus denies teaching it to her.

- lup also denies teaching it to her. lup and taako haven’t used it in tens of years, and when they aren’t using it, there isn’t a reason for the other birds to use it, given that it was mostly used for taako to communicate. plus, very few people on faerun use it, given that it’s a language that doesn’t even originate on the goddamn plane. she’s not learning it from angus, probably. probably? FUCK.

- taako confronts angus about it and he immediately folds and tells taako everything on lucretia’s behalf, because he knows it’s going to get rough if they have to be in the same room together. taako is. devastated. and angry. but angus explains to him that he’s always there, he makes a super good middle man, casey LOVES lucretia, they get along really well, she hasn’t been telling casey anything controversial. casey isn’t even old enough to like, get lucretia’s life story. she’s not getting lucretia propaganda, taako. but she has been um, maybe, using elven sign language, because they thought maybe you’d been trying that, too, because she hasn’t been verbal. Taako confirms he has NOT been, he hasn’t used it since cycle 99 started, because he had it fucking TAKEN from him, is the thing.

- but magnus also starts using it again. starts speaking in ESL to casey. taako gets mad about it, but he can’t deny that it’s much more comfortable for him most of the time, and that he can use his limited energy being more expressive bodily when he doesn’t have to curate his voice specifically like he does when talking aloud. magnus is into it! and he makes sure to tell taako this. taako starts using ESL more. a little. to see if casey will pick it up.

- casey does pick it up. casey picks it up much easier than common or elvish. she has some coordination issues in her hands like taako does, exacerbated by her being like four, but she can communicate a little better and it’s. weird. it’s weird. taako is weirded out by it. but everyone else in the house just keeps - even lup gets in on it, so…

- he gets to talk to casey more. it’s so sweet. she’s an asshole and he loves it. she is a lot like taako in so many ways. it is a weird thing to witness. she’s not exceedingly social. she’s kind of . aloof. which is something he knows he’s been accused of, but he didn’t really get it until he saw literally his fuckin. weird self reflected back at him. he realizes pretty quick that she’s definitely a person. she’s fairly independent and at this stage ENJOYS sleeping in her own bed. she likes the routine of brushing her teeth before bed. she hates socks (so does taako), she loves bugs, but she’s scared of dogs. she likes magnus’ woodwork, but doesn’t like powertools, and has next to no interest in magic, but she does like watching taako cook - she also has strong opinions about food, which taako is a little frustrated about at first, but soon finds is fun to work around. he likes flexing his cooking creativity for the first time in years.

- taako fucking. eventually uses his braces, but only because he wants casey to also use them. she has such a hard time walking and he absolutely hates the idea of her being in any amount of pain, much less pain comparable to what he went through as a kid before he made himself deal with it quietly. neither taako nor casey are big on the sensory input these things provide, but they get through it together. they are just kind of on the same wavelength when it comes to sensory overload - so even if taako doesn’t realize it, given that he’s had hundreds of years to perfect masking even to himself, once casey’s had about enough of it, taako can pretty reliably tell that it’s probably time for him to give himself a break, too, if he can manage it. she’s helping him out a lot, even if she doesn’t exactly know it.

- that winter is when elodie and rian are born, in that order. not at home this time, which magnus is a little indignant about because he’s the tough guy here, but ultimately there’s not a whole lot of fight about it. this is partly because magnus burnsides is a bird, and gets whatever he wants, and if he wants a parade of like 20 goddamn people present, nobody, not even a medical professional, has the power to stop him. this time, names were picked out beforehand, mostly because magnus was DEAD SET on not waiting until they were multiple months old. they get these names assigned to them in the same way casey did - as child names, if they want to change them, or permanent if they don’t, or whatever the hell they want to do. magnus takes immediately to calling them duckie and goose, respectively, because he knows that everyone will back him up if taako tries to tell him he can’t call his newly born children what he wants to call them as nicknames. (they do fight about it. everybody is, indeed, on magnus’ side, if only because they’re tired of the naming scheme taako is perpetuating, here.)

- he has also been calling casey bunny for a few years at this point because of her floppy ears (taako wouldn’t let him get away with ‘dumbo’ any longer), so it fits the theme. (he later gets a duckling, a gosling, and a bunny tattooed on him. they can change their names all they want, but their childhood nicknames are his forever now!)

- magnus, uh, DOES have a little stint of oh god what have i done. turns out that weirdly enough, having taako baby him a little bit makes him feel better. having taako be kind and surprisingly understanding about his feelings is weird and puts him on edge at first, but really, taako was like this when he was pregnant, too, where he’s a little more open and a little more emotionally available, so it’s not super surprising in a way that makes it impossible to believe that taako’s actually willing to give him space to grieve and think and worry and wonder.

- elodie and rian are also digitigrade, but their ears are more solid. not quite as mobile as taako’s, but they have some muscle in them instead of casey’s little floppy thing she has going on. they’re cute and all, but the biggest thing taako can’t get over is the fact that they are both born with hair. istus just keeps fucking kicking him while he’s down. magnus doesn’t even worship her, what the fuck.

- they’re both VERY LOUD. casey wasn’t a crier, the twins are. they’re loud, they’re rowdy, they’re babies. they’re, like, real babies, and not little weird creatures like casey. casey is a bug, not a baby, elodie and rian are infants. taako has already set a precedent of being a nighttime caretaker, given that magnus needs 8 hrs of sleep/night and he needs 4 hrs of meditation. so this continues, for the most part.

- yes, they have two infants. they also have a little girl who is now getting finally also fitted for orthotics which is cool. she’s also learning ESL. magnus, taako, lucretia, and lup all know it. basically everyone in her life knows sign language. magnus is a little rusty, but he’s taking like. ‘lessons’ from taako. this is also being taught in moderation to the twins, but the twins have their own shit going on between each other. taako gets to watch these things develop twin language WITHOUT HIM. it’s fine.

- lucretia becomes a slightly more… common… occurrence. he sees her at parties and gatherings now - they start being invited to the same things. they’re not involved with each other closely, but they’re adjacent. they talk SOMETIMES. if there’s a buffer between them. mostly at these gatherings, and only when taako’s sober. the moment he’s imbibed anything magnus physically gets between them. it becomes missy and casey’s jobs to watch the twins and magnus’ to watch taako to make sure he doesn’t say or do anything too fucked up.

- elodie is a huge casey fan. loves casey to death, but they have the sibling dynamic going on where casey is so focused on being fully enamored with an looking up to missy that she sort of ignores elodie, and elodie is so focused on casey that she ignores missy, who just wants everyone to be friends together so bad.

- the twins are definitely a step up in complicated parenting. casey was a good first step. somehow? got what is the beginner-friendliest baby. some fucking how. these guys, though. elodie is a very curious kid, a very energetic kid, a very intense kid. playful, extroverted. chatty even when she doesn’t have like. language down yet. rian less so. rian’s more like casey in this regard. less chatty. needs a lot of quiet time.

- magnus used to have a stim where he would ball up his fist and slam it into his chest or shoulder, which definitely, definitely was not good for him, given that he eventually got very strong and was giving himself some pretty gnarly bruises and lacerations with it. he also used to (still does, but slightly less) deal with really bad RSD. it kind of fucks him up watching rian go through the same things. taako is just kind of like “yeah, dude, the dark mirror, we’ve all been peering into it” and magnus is like wow. huh. this is wild. i’m sorry, little guy.

- rian ends up sharing a room with casey once he’s old enough (not permanently, but it’s an option for him). he does better in a quiet environment and elodie is not super conducive to this, but casey is, with her also preferring no loud or repetitive sounds. she also relies more heavily on ESL than the other kids, which rian uses with her quite often while he feels more pressured into speaking verbally to others.

- by this time magnus has made casey what he calls her rabbit hutch - basically, as a toddler, she always ended up like, under her bed, or in her closet, or what have you to sleep. taako’s solution to this was ‘oh baby come sleep in my bed then’, but she didn’t want this, so magnus makes her a little doghouse style thing. A canopied bed, but with solid walls and a weighted base, and a tighter space inside. it doesn’t last her into her teens, but she does use it a lot as a little kid. it’s like a permanent blanket fort. taako’s embarrassed that his daughter lives in a fucking dog house his boyfriend made, but she loves it - and eventually starts letting rian in there, too.

- elodie also likes going in there but 3 kids can’t fit at once, and also she gets bored really fast so most of the time it’s casey and rian time only. and they just sit silently in there.

- listen i have a ton of twin lore in my brain but it’s very difficult to put down in a concise way. i’ll get it out. some day. til then have basics. elodie is a big girl, she’s a tough little girl, she likes being able to help out her mama. (even taako is not allowed to call magnus this. elodie and rian, however, are. for taako is it papa strictly. papa bear will also be tolerated. encouraged.) she loves AXES. she wants one so bad. she’s like six and it’s all she wants for every gift-giving event ever is a REAL AXE. taako and elodie absolutely have a Real Sword type conversation. elodie thinks it’s hilarious, but also kind of frustrating because no, dad, she really does actually want a real axe.

- elodie ALSO isn’t really a dog person. they’re okay! she likes them! she’s just not like, dog obsessed. despite magnus’ best efforts, she does not develop canine special interest, which he’s a little sad about, but it’s okay, because he does eventually get it with rian, thankfully. SOMEONE fucking likes dogs in this goddamn household.

- elodie does however LOVE their cats. she’s neutral on the fish and shrimp (did i mention they have a huge saltwater tank. they do. taako raises shramps). she wants a goat. she’s not the pony kid, that’s rian.

- rian is fucking obsessed with animals in general. he loves casey’s stuffed animals. he loves garyl. he loves dogs, especially the big rough guys, mostly because they can handle some roughhousing. he and magnus wrestle, which magnus loves, and they do a lot of work with the dogs, which is GREAT, because by the time rian is 8 or 9 magnus really, really just wants to get back to working regularly, doing dog training and stuff, and he loves having angus and rian around to help.

- OKAY ALL I REALLY KNOW BEYOND THIS IS THAT casey gets really into rollerskating. she likes drawing, but doesn’t stick with it. she likes roleplaying games. taako and lucretia are keyword kinda reintroduced to each other’s lives after a LOT of strife and a lot of fuckups. casey lives with taako for quite a while. idk about the twins yet, but i know that casey is not really ready to go do her own thing for quite a while, and even after she does move out, she’s always got her dad on speed dial, and out of everyone in the universe once magnus is gone, she is one of the only people he will ALWAYS pick up the phone for. every single time, doesn’t matter what he’s doing.

ta da there’s more, obviously, but like. this is where i’m at. currently. with my fucking. six million words (realistically more like 40-50k, it’s hard to compile when it’s spread out across many text docs and google docs and shit.)

#taagnus #taag bbs #pregnancy #pregnancy w #I MEAN IT AS PREGNANCY WARNING BUT PREGNANCY W IS ALSO TRUE KINDA. IDK HOW TO TAG FOR THAT BUT ITS IN THE DAMN TEXT BODY TOO SO LISTEN #caseyposting... #i think that counts as caseyposting. #ask for trigger tags seriously. but it is also all under a readmore with a trigger list beforehand. so.

[crusherthedoctor]

📞 a character others dislike but you don’t?

♠️ favorite protagonist?

🕷️a character you feel is underrated?

📞 - a character others dislike but you don't?

Elise has gained more appreciation over time, but you still get people who think she's to blame for everything wrong with '06. She was a decent if underdeveloped character who simply wasn't used in the story that well, and anyone who thinks turning her into a Not-Sally is the only way to fix her isn't trying.

There's also Zor and Marine, both of whom I will always defend. Isn't it wild how I can barely remember anything from The End's three minute tough guy Reddit copypasta, yet everything Zor says is solid gold... shout out to IDW for missing the point and making him an unironic tryhard like every other villain in the comic. As for Marine, people act as though her character development never happened, which isn't helped by Flynn being one of those very people, and I don't understand why they give her flak for her stereotypical accent, yet make no such complaints about Bunnie.

For a couple of non-Sonic examples: King Sombra kind of went through the same arc as Elise in retrospect. As in, nowadays he has more open fans, but back when he made his debut, he received a disproportionate amount of flak for being a mostly silent villain, and the way he was used. I personally appreciated what they were going for with him, mainly cause of how they conveyed his Crazy Prepared defenses and the like, and honestly, by the time FiM concluded, I think he ended up better off than certain other villains lmao.

And of course, Moneybags. Not counting the first game (cause he didn't exist yet), I don't consider it a true Spyro experience if Winnie the Shit doesn't pop up in increasingly improbable locations to make deals in exchange for, *ahem*, a small fee. He also has some of the best lines. ("What are you going to do, sue me?")

♠️ - favourite protagonist?

Gex is unironically a better written character than everyone in Frontiers and IDW put together. This realisation makes me want to drink tap water at Jerry Garcia's.

Tails has always been my main bro out of the Sonic good guys, cause of how smart he is and how much he wants to help. :D It's also why I'm vocal about how much I despise it when fans double down on reducing the franchise to Just Furry DBZ due to super forms and whatnot, since it means Tails and other characters not named Sonic/Shadow/Silver are guaranteed to be treated even more like they're not good for anything meaningful. >:|

Then there's Spyro of course, which I know will be considered ironic to some given my complex feelings on Sonic, but truth be told, Spyro isn't really that similar to Sonic beyond some snark. He does admittedly act like a dude with tude in the first game, but it's clear that he's younger in that one. From the second game onward, where he's slightly older, he's considerably more chill... at least compared to Bubsy and many others from the 90's. And speaking of, despite his dialogue consisting entirely of WOAH, I respect Crash as well, since it was the bandicoot that got little me into the world of video games.

And many things change, but my fondness for Fluttershy will never die. Just as I have a preference for funny robot-loving villains who nonetheless remain a legit serious threat instead of being a joke, I have another preference for kindhearted quiet characters... which is why I also enjoy Trip... and Tikal... look, we all have our types, I'm sure you can sympathise. ;P

🕷️ - a character you feel is underrated?

The Hard-Boiled Heavies have mostly been pushed aside since Mania came out (aside from that one IDW story, but that's not a blessing), and it makes me madder than YouTubers who pretend they're mad because there are villains with dialogue who have less personality than these guys. They're so much fun, and despite all of them having the same Egg Robo template, their designs remain distinct from each other, even in silhouette form.

I also took to Ariem early on. Like the Heavies, "underrated" refers to general lack of fandom buzz compared to other characters, since although she appears to be quite liked, the acknowledgement given to her is somewhat limited due to her being stuck in an Android-only game for the time being. Some people also have an obsession with comparing her unfavourably to either Sage or Lanolin, for reasons I can probably guess in both cases. Me? I love her design, and her interactions with Cream and Knuckles are cute. :> I know it's not likely, but I hope she appears elsewhere so that she can be brought to more fans' attention... provided she doesn't get IDW'd.

Finally, a more complicated example: Metal Sonic. Now yes, he's very popular and beloved, and remains so to this day, but during the last couple of years, I feel I've been seeing two growing sides in the community when it pertains to him: the side who loves Neo Metal Sonic, and believe he's only a threat in that form like Flynn apparently believes (given how he often turns regular Metal into a jobber), and the side who consider him lame or essentially worthless because of his minimal characterization compared to others. He might not say much, and he might be a hedgehog-shaped tool of Eggman's ambition rather than a complete person of his own, but I believe there's a lot you can do with Metal that wouldn't require turning him into Usurper the Elf Shoes. OVA Metal ain't S-tier for nothing.

#Crusher's Asks #Opinion #Miles Tails Prower #Princess Elise #Marine the Raccoon #Ariem the Sheep #Metal Sonic #Zor #Hard-Boiled Heavies #Fluttershy #King Sombra #Crash Bandicoot #Spyro the Dragon #Moneybags

[bengiyo]

Minato's Laundromat Ep 2x04 Stray Thoughts

Last week, we watched Shin and Asuka struggle with the way the older men they like are out of alignment with them. Shin wants Minato to be more affectionate with him, and Asuka wants Shuu to be affectionate at all. Minato at least knows what Shin wants and is trying to work through is issues to get there. I’m lingering on Shin’s current resignation about the arrangement. Today we’re anticipating some kind of jealousy from Minato and Shuu, since Asuka is hanging out with a girl (though I suspect he’s playing a role for her).

I want a boyfriend to make a bento for me. I need Minato to lean into Shin’s rituals. Let him apply the sunscreen so you two can have a reason to touch.

Minato becoming a coach again is sending back to my Haikyuu!! Era and my feelings about Ukai.

Truly, this dynamic only works because of how good Kusakawa Takuya and Nishigaki Sho are. Minato doesn’t read as repulsed by Shin, and Shin doesn’t read as angry about this barrier between them. Minato’s desire for Shin masked by his fear lands clearly. I find this to be a bit tedious as a viewer, but as a gay man with my own issues around intimacy I very much appreciate this.

If someone made Sakurako cry, I would like to have words with them.

Who is Sakurako’s boyfriend? Tell him to come outside. We won’t jump him.

Oh ho! I was correct about the fake boyfriend thing @ginnymoonbeam She was trying to make a colleague back off.

Oh would you look at that. Shuu is kinda pissed.

I know Minato is going to think Shin doesn’t want people to know about them at the university, but I know for sure that Shin is concerned that random men or women are going to notice how cute Minato is and start pursuing him.

Minato, do not let these teenagers get in your head. You have amazing shirts.

Oh, Asuka. Don’t make Minato feel bad because you’re grumpy.

Shuu, please see my earlier bullet about not letting teenagers get in your head.

Shin has no idea what Shuu is talking about and I love it.

Now Asuka is confused and jealous, too! This is a hot mess!

I do love Minato’s high pitched voice when he’s embarrassed.

I do not like this hair at all. He didn’t even finish the back!

Okay, Minato upping his fashion game to not embarrass Shin is going to have extremely satisfying payoff when Shin is way too entranced by it

“…Minato-san is too cute. Both your appearance and personality, everything about you is cute. It’s too dangerous for the average person, I’ve been trained so it’s okay. If the cute Minato-san goes to university, who knows what will happen? Maybe a younger guy like me will fall in love at first sight and come to the laundromat to bother you.”

Look at my current-favorite simp getting to appreciate Minato’s efforts while encouraging him to be comfortable with himself.

Have we seen the curry shirt before? I’m into it.

Oh, J-BL, I do hate when you put something in a teaser that shows up as the cliffhanger of the next episode.

This meddlesome man in brown looks like he’s gonna piss me off next week.

So, it looks like we’re saving more of the jealousy/insecurity stuff for next week. I really like how Asuka is being kind of a shit this season. He was always causing problems in a teasing way last season, so it’s interesting to see him failing to regulate that impulse.

#minato’s laundromat #minato's laundromat 2 #minato shouji coin laundry #japanese bl #bl series #Ben watches

[gracemyface]

Daryl: The Professional (Daryl Dixon x Young! Reader)

Chapter Six

Key:

Y/n - Your Name

Y/l/n - Your Last Name

Y/e/c - Your Eye Color

Y/h/c - Your Hair Color

Series Masterlist | Previous Part | Next Part

Summary: Things are unsettled at camp after the fight and Jim's breakdown, and the Reader finds themselves too worried about Daryl to really enjoy any of the festivities. Meanwhile, Daryl finds himself struggling in the city, wanting to return to camp but not wanting to face the wrath that would come from leaving Glenn behind. They're finally reunited when, in a turn for the worse, the camp is attacked by a wandering herd of walkers...

Warnings: Major Character Death, Canon Typical Violence/Gore, Some Angst.

A/n: I will have no real Lori slander. She did some shitty things, yes, but she loved her kids and the other women’s kids. Anyway, how do we like Daryl’s pov? I really, really struggled with it bc he’s such an asshole (I mean that affectionately.)

Shit really goes down this chapter. You guys have a slight breakdown, but it's been a long time coming. Character development ig?

also, do we want more stories from when the Reader, Daryl, and Merle were together?

Word Count: 4.8k

The first time Daryl ever saw you, the blood-soaked orphan with a far-off stare who’d barricaded themself into the corner of his father’s cabin, he felt a prickle of annoyance travel up his spine. 

He didn’t know why you were out in the woods, or what had happened to result in you being covered in the crimson liquid (though, if his father hadn’t just been eaten in front of him, he would’ve assumed it was a pig slaughtering gone awry), or how you got into the cabin. He, especially at that moment, hadn’t even cared. He knew immediately that Jess wouldn’t have left you behind, cursed his father’s half-brother and his bleeding heart, and reduced you to nothing in his mind but another mouth to feed — a weak, sniveling mouth at that. He wasn’t ever keen on being around kids, smart-mouthed teenagers even less, and he didn’t really want to have to handle the collapse of society with anybody who couldn’t fend for themselves. 

You showed him, though. You really did.

In those few days when it was just you and him after Jess took that fall off the truck when you officially became his responsibility, you proved you weren’t weak. You adapted to the end of the world quickly — learned to be quiet when you needed to be, to be useful most of the time, and to just eat whatever he managed to catch. And then you took on Merle in a way that nobody really dared to, most nights ending with you sending his older brother a heated gaze over the fire, the flames reflecting in your y/e/c eyes. Now, he still wouldn’t leave his life in your hands if he had the choice, even after you shot that man clear in the head back in Fontana and walked it off, but he knows for sure that he can trust you to handle your own — and, even if he doesn’t really appreciate being wrong, he can’t help but admire you for it�� though, he’d never admit it aloud.

Standing in a long-abandoned lab building in an overrun Atlanta, the redneck stares down at the whimpering kid they picked up with pure disdain. His lips are curled back over his teeth in a sneer and his eyes are slanted as he stares down, internally picking apart every little thing the teenager does. That is what he expected from you.

What a shit show this little expedition-slash-rescue mission has turned out to be.

Not only was Merle not where they left him — currently down one hand and on the run through the sweltering pit of hell that has become of the once lively city — but now they’ve lost Glenn, too. If Daryl’d known that the younger man was going to get taken hostage by a bunch of wannabe gangsters and hold them up like this, he’d have left before these assholes could’ve even thought about getting into the truck with him.

He wanted to be the hell out of dodge three hours ago. “Them guns are worth more than gold. Gold won’t protect your family or put food on the table— you’re gonna give that up for that kid?”

Both of them give him a stern look, and he resists the urge to roll his eyes. Sure, the kid is nice and all, and half the camp (including you) would be really pissed off if they came back without him, but they can’t give up half of these guns. It’s either Glenn or a better chance at survival and he picks survival.

“If I knew we’d get Glenn back, I might agree. But, you think that Vato across the way is just gonna hand him over?”

Daryl nods in agreement. There’s that, too. They have no idea for certain if giving up the guns will even get them what they want. It might just be a trap that gets them all killed.

“You calling G a liar?” Their hostage— Miguel, was it?— inserts himself into the equation.

His mind once again drifts to you. If you were kidnapped, you wouldn’t be this stupid. You’d be smart enough to not mouth off to the people who held you captive, smart enough to figure out how to get yourself free, and smart enough not to make promises on his behalf that he might not be able to keep. You’d be mute, sitting there and watching your captors with those dangerous little eyes of yours.

This kid, though? Christ.

“Are you a part of this?” He crosses the room and leans down over the kid, slapping him lightly. “You wanna hold onto your teeth?”

T-Dog continues on, ignoring the violence. “Question is, do you trust that man’s word?”

“No, question is what are you willing to bet on it? Could be more than them guns. Could be your life. Glenn worth that to you?” He holds Rick’s gaze.

Truth be told, Daryl doesn’t quite get risking why anybody would risk their life for someone who wasn’t their blood. Glenn wasn’t any of their brother, son, or cousin — he was just some (former) pizza running kid that was on the highway, in the right place and at the right time when Shane spearheaded the group and lead them off the highway. Merle is probably the only person in the world that the redneck would even think to sacrifice anything for.

(Except maybe…)

“What life I have I owe to him. I was nobody to Glenn, just some idiot stuck in a tank. He could have walked away, but he didn't.” Rick loads his revolver and sticks it in his pocket. “Neither will I.”

Daryl scoffs in his soul. “So you’re gonna hand the guns over?”

“I didn't say that.”

The sheriff's voice has now taken a quality that has his eyebrows shooting up to his hairline.

“There's nothing keeping you two here. You should get out, head back to camp.”

T-Dog winces from his injuries, rubbing his head with his hand. “And tell your family what?”

Daryl and Rick stare at each other for a beat, a silent conversation happening between them, before he sighs shortly and reaches for a weapon. You’d probably be really pissed at him if he didn’t try, and he doesn’t want to deal with an emotional teenager right about now.

“Come on, this is nuts.” The boy sits back down when Daryl holds a hand out to him. “Just do like G says.”

The redneck ignores the whining boy and starts loading a shotgun. He needs this to be over as quickly as possible, and he needs the gangster assholes to go down without a fight.

He made a promise to come back alive, after all.

──────────────────

Jim has a heatstroke. Or, at least, that’s what Shane keeps dismissing it as. With the current state of the world, it could’ve very well been post-bite fever or a psychotic break.

He’d been digging for reasons unknown and unintentionally ruined the good news of the incredible amount of food they were going to have tonight in the process. Shane went all cop on him, which didn’t really surprise you after what happened with Ed, and the whole ordeal ended with Jim being tied to a tree after ranting and raving about how he left his family for dead. Everyone seemed to move on after that, the mothers dragged their children off to do schoolwork and a few of the other adults started setting up for the fish fry, but you found yourself a little nauseous.

It looked like he was digging graves, and why did he go into such intense detail?

Hiding away in your tent, you lay down on top of your sleeping bag and throw a ball of socks up just to catch it as it comes down. You hoped the action would be therapeutic — something to take your mind off the image of Jim’s poor family and how it bleeds into the image of your own — but the socks lack the weight of a real ball, and you can’t get out of your head.

Had washing your parents’ blood off your skin absolved you of any responsibility in their deaths? Were you doomed to end up like Jim?

Would you also, someday soon, have a psychotic break?

“Hey, Y/n?” Lori’s soft voice drifts through the thin fabric of your tent as he speaks timidly.

For a beat, you decide if you want to be silent and let her think you’re asleep. “Uh, yeah. What’s up?”

“Shane’s gonna teach Carl and Sophia to clean fish. He wanted to know if you’d join.”

You already know how to gut an animal. Squirrels, rabbits, and even a deer, once — Daryl had always been very big on you learning how to survive in the time you spent together, and that learning involved getting over the grossness of animal entrails very, very quickly. You were living through the end of the world, he’d reasoned, you don’t have time to be weak-stomached.

And you don’t want to spend time with Shane. That’s at the top of the list of things you don’t want.

But you’re not going to tell the woman that you dislike the man she was sleeping with, so you say, “I already know how to.” 

There’s another beat of silence, and you can see the shadow of her willowy figure shift through the wall of the tent.

“Can I come in?”

You, certainly not expecting that, pause. 

“Uh, sure.”

You sit up and push yourself to the back of the tent, watching as Lori unzips the door and ducks down inside. She’s got sincere eyes. So sincere that when she crouches down in front of you and meets your gaze, your skin starts to crawl.

“You feelin’ okay?”

You hate that question. Something burns behind your nose and you snuggle, shrugging pitifully. “Dunno. Pretty shit — what happened to Jim, I mean.”

Lori nods thoughtfully. “Yeah… it is.”

She looks a little pale. Surely, the death of children doesn’t sit well with a mother, even if they aren’t her own.

“I, uh, I understand that you’ve had a rough time.” The brunette doesn’t seem to know what to say to you, and you almost feel bad. “I mean, I don’t. Not really. And you don’t have to tell me anything.” She stresses that point with a sweep of her hand. “But I know something must’ve happened because everyone has something happen.”

You nod along, fiddling with a loose string on your jeans. 

“I— Daryl and Merle don’t exactly seem like the easiest people to talk to, so if you ever need anything, me and Carol are right here, okay?”

“…okay.”

She smiles softly at you, and you spare one back. Lori and Carol are perfectly nice women, but you almost prefer Daryl, who has put a ban on personal questions and mostly ignores the emotional side of everything. You know you aren’t going to go to Lori and tell her things.

You wouldn’t even know where to start. 

“Y’know, Carl likes you? Like, a lot.” 

“Really?”

“Mhm. Sophia, too.”

Deep down, you know this is her trying to coax you out of the tent, but you let it boost your ego anyway. There’s something so incredibly normal (and endearing) about being looked up to — even if, sometimes, it gets a little annoying.

“And I’m guessing they would really, really like it if I went out there and helped Shane gut fish with ‘em?”

“Yeah. They would.”

Pursing your lips, you stare at the woman through slightly narrowed eyes before sighing and giving in.

“Alright…”

She grins widely and it kind of makes up for it.

Shane seems to be getting frustrated with the ordeal when you arrive, correcting Sophia’s stance with a tightness pulling at his smile as Lori gently nudges you along. You take the seat next to him without a word, pretending you don’t notice how he and the woman exchange a look, or how Carl shifts toward you on the log. It’s a hundred degrees out and he’s attached to your hip already, watching with those big blue eyes of his as you silently grab a fish off the pile and get to gutting it. 

You can remember the steps well: descale, cut a slit in the belly, remove the guts and fins and head, and rinse. 

“Look at you.” Shane compliments in a drawl, finally getting Sophia to do what he needed her to. “Like a swan to water.”

With a wrinkled nose, you drop fish innards into a bucket and turn to look at him as you shake the blood off your hands.

“Yeah, well, you spend enough time with the Dixons and you’ll learn how to gut anything.”

Something dark flashes across his face but you don’t care. You turn back to the fish, making a little joke to Carl about fish eyes that makes his entire face scrunch up and draws a long ‘Ewww’ from his lips. The laugh that bursts from you rattles in your bones.

──────────────────

“Hey, Dale, you got a?—“ The question dies on your lips as, upon stepping over the threshold of the RV, you stumble upon Andrea.

Every cabinet in the mobile home’s little kitchenette is open and she appears to be rooting through them desperately. At the sound of your voice, she pauses, looking up at you like she’s an animal and you just caught her looking through your garbage cans.

“Hi.”

“Hi?” You retort, shifting your weight. “Do you know where Dale is?”

“No, but I wish I did.” She heaves a sigh and runs her hand through her hair.

You don’t think you’ve ever seen the woman quite so frantic. Somewhere down the line, Andrea Harrison was a lawyer, and it’s hard to imagine her standing in the front of a courtroom, prim and proper and ready to kick some ass, with her standing in front of you like this.

“Can I help you any?” You ask just as Dale finally responds to his summons, stepping over the threshold with a quiet, “Did I hear my name?“

“Yeah.” Both you and Andrea answer at once, but you step back and gesture to her. “I think she needs help first.”

The blonde spares you a nervous smile.

“Alright. What do you need?”

“Wrapping paper, color tissue, anything?”

(Okay, maybe you regret letting her go first. At this rate, you’ll never get that bandaid.)

You stare at her with furrowed brows and a scrunched-up face. 

“Seriously?” Dale shares in your confusion, glancing warily between the two of you. You offer him a shrug.

“How could you not have any?”

“Had I been informed of the impending apocalypse I'd have stocked up.”

Your snort at the old man’s dry words earns you a particularly derisive look from Andrea. “What? It’s the end of the world and you need wrapping paper. Shoot me for finding that amusing.”

“It’s Amy’s birthday tomorrow.” She says it like you should know that (probably because you should.) “I've been marking days on the calendar just to make sure.”

Your eyes wander over to the calendar on the wall of the RV as she lifts the necklace that she stole for a gift to her sister. Surely enough, Andrea has been crossing out the days on it. 

Despite what you expected, there is no big circle over Amy’s birthday or anything, but you then figure that would probably ruin the surprise. Your older (in age and not maturity) blonde friend had come to you earlier in the week and lamented to you about the situation. While you’d always known that Andrea was the older of the pair, you didn’t know just how much until Amy filled you in on the ghosts of birthday past; she told you all about the older blonde’s broken promises to return to the nest for her little sister’s birthday, about how, more often than not, college and other things got in the way. She must’ve seen the calendar, too, and been disappointed by the apparent lack of acknowledgment that it was growing closer and closer to her favorite holiday.

“You can’t leave a gift unwrapped.” 

“Oh, it’s good that you got something. I think she thinks you forgot.” That was told to you in confidence, but you stretched the truth a bit, so it isn’t that bad, right?

Dale and Andrea both look at you for a moment before he nods his head slowly. “Alright. Deep breath. I’m sure we’ll find something.” He turns back to face you. “What did you need?”

As if a lightbulb turned on over your head, you lift up your hand and the handkerchief that’s been wrapped around your minor flesh wound. “Carl cut me while I was demonstrating. I just need a bandaid.”

The old man shakes his head at you and steps around Andrea to go get the first aid kit, muttering to himself about the youth of today and how you’re going to lose your limb if you aren’t more careful.

──────────────────

As the grating summer sunlight fades into the darkness of dusk, taking the heat with it, the whole group (excluding the men in Atlanta and Ed, who refused to show his face around camp) sits down for the biggest meal most of them have had since the end of the world.

Cold beer and water are handed out as serving trays full of fried fish get passed around between the clusters of people who gather around their fires, the murmur of their happy chatter and soft laughter cutting through the blanketing sounds of the night. After the big fight and Jim’s foreboding breakdown, it’s nice to see everyone smiling and knowing that nobody’s going to ruin it this time — even if you can’t really find yourself joining in on the festivity.

“Pass the fish, please?”

“Here you go.”

“Man, I missed this.”

Sitting down on the end of one of the logs and feeling a little removed from everyone else, you wrap your coat tighter around your frame and let yourself worry about the group of men who went into the city. You don’t know Rick Grimes too well — he didn’t exactly give you the chance to get to know him, did he? — but you do know Glenn, T-Dog, and Daryl. You know that they’re very capable men and that, in certain circumstances, most of them have more experience with geeks than you do, but you can’t help but worry. The sun has long since set, meaning that the men, wherever they are, are stranded out in the dark. You don’t really remember the nights from when it was just you and Daryl (a combination of many sleepless nights and too-high adrenaline made the memories blur together), but you know enough to know that things do get worse when the sun goes down; geeks aren’t exactly quiet, but they can really sneak up on you when there’s no light and your body wants to sleep.

Experienced or not, they're going to be tired eventually, and, if Merle doesn’t try to kill them, something else will.

“Hey, Nervous Nellie.” Shane draws your attention to him by nudging your leg with his boot, “Yeah, you— how's the fish?” 

Your eyes flit down to the bottle in his hand. Beer surely makes him a little looser.

“It’s alright.”

The ex-cop cocks a brow and echoes your response. “Alright?”

You really wish he’d just leave you alone. 

Truth be told, you don’t really like the food. It’s bland and it tastes fishy in the worst way, and (even if you’ll admit that you’ve been eating it like a death row inmate getting their last meal as if indigestion isn’t a thing), chasing it down with water isn’t helping. Sure, it’s better than the food you’ve been eating for weeks — better than measly mushrooms, canned rations, and whatever game the Dixon brothers could hunt up — but it’s not great.

“It’s no cheeseburger.” You shrug, stabbing some more of the pale flesh with your fork. “But beggars and choosers, and all that.”

“I’ll drink to that.” Morales interjects lightheartedly, tipping the head of his beer in your direction. You smile a thin-lipped smile.

The arrival of his long-lost best friend has made Shane rather… unsettling. Whether it’s because of how cold Lori has been acting toward him or his superiority complex, you’re not sure. You just know that you want Daryl to come back, even if that means putting up with Merle for the rest of his life.

“I’ll be right back.” You dismiss yourself quietly to Jacqui when the temperature changes and your discomfort proves to be too much. She nods absentmindedly, too engrossed with whatever Dale is saying to really respond, and takes the plate from you when you hand it over. 

You slip away into the darkness pretty easily, retreating to your tent in search of a sweatshirt, a breather, and maybe some reassurance that the redneck you’ve grown to like could survive whatever came at him. 

With a press of your hand, the nylon flap of your tent opens and you step in. Pausing briefly to turn on the little electric lantern on the floor, you then scan the small space with your eyes, looking for anything that might pass as something with long sleeves. There’s already a pile of dirty clothes forming in the corner and most of your stuff is strewn about, but you ignore that and grab for your bag— an old duffel that belonged to Daryl’s deceased father. Curling your fingers around one of the fraying straps, you pull it up and toward you, rooting through the stuff in there until you find it. A red and black flannel.

Somewhere down the line — just like most of your stuff did — the flannel belonged to one of the Dixons. It hangs loose on your frame, the sleeves too long for your arms and the length stopping mid-thigh. 

Buttoning it up, you cuff the sleeves and fiddle with the ends for a few minutes until they sit in a way you like. 

Just as you’re able to breathe a deep breath and feel remotely at peace, a blood-curdling scream, followed by many more, cuts through the quiet dark of the night. Adrenaline is the first thing you feel, your heart beating in your ears and your lungs squeezed of air, and worry is the second, fear for your friends forcing your legs to move and push out of your tent again. Though, before you can do that, you’re greeted by two rotting hands shoving their way through the opening and grabbing at your shoulders in a surprisingly iron grip. The shock of seeing a geek so up-close causes you to stumble back, but your ankle twists harshly — sending you sprawling to the ground with the monster right on top of you. 

“Oh, god!” The cracked scream leaves your lips, the now-shattered glass from the lantern digging into the skin of your leg.

The walker is — or, was — a man. It gnashes its teeth and pushes toward you, the sound of the bones clacking together making you whimper. Is this what your parents felt in their last moments? Jim’s wife and kids? Very quickly, your arms start to tremble under the weight of the much larger body, and you decide to not resign yourself to the same fate. Craning your head, you search for a weapon. 

There’s no way for you to reach your gun right about now, which you can’t really shoot with one hand anyway, but there has to be something else — anything you can use.

As the walker claws desperately at your shirt and groans miserably, you have to make the rash decision to remove one hand from its chest and give yourself less leverage to reach blindly behind you. Panicked breaths puff past your lips and your head starts to feel light as you grab at your stuff. Your fingers tightening around your sleeping bag, you give a harsh tug and hear the faintest sound of objects clattering around. The walker pushes down on your forearm as your fingers touch what feels like the hilt of a knife. Daryl must’ve thrown it in with your belongings a while back.

Letting out a strangled and panicked sound, you take the weapon and stab the walker with all your might.

The steel of the blade pops the walker’s eye upon entry and slides right through to its brain. Closing your eyes and mouth, you whip your head to the side as a mixture of ink-like blood and gel-like eye fluids drip down the hilt of the knife and onto your face. Its body, now eerily still and limp, falls on top of yours, making it hard to fully inhale as stuttered, panicked breaths rack your chest. As the sounds of gunshots and screams continue from outside the tent, you roll the body off you and force yourself up on your knees, gasping breaths through frightened sobs as you try to tug the knife out of the dead head.

As you pull it free, another walker stumbles into your tent and tries to pounce on you. Before it can bite a chunk out of your body, the tent door is being pushed open and a bullet is shattering its skull.

“Y/n!?” Glenn’s voice is just audible over the deadly mixture of your heartbeat and painful ringing in your ears, his eyes wide as he hopes what he just shot was actually dead before he shot it. “Y/n?!”

“Glenn.” You whimper, kicking the other dead body away from you. Your alleviation that the men from Atlanta are alive is short-lived.

“Oh.” He breathes in relief and slings the gun over his shoulder, reaching out to hold your forearms. “Oh. You’re okay. Oh, god. That’s good.”

“Daryl— is— is Daryl?” You can barely form words, your fingernails digging into his skin.

“Daryl’s fine. C’mon. We have to get out of here!”

He ushers you to your feet. The pain in your calf worsens as you stand up on shaky legs, every movement causing the glass to shift in your skin, and you stumble forward into his chest.

“I can’t— I hurt my leg.” You hiccup and Glenn sighs softly, wrapping one of your arms around his shoulders so he can half carry you.

“I have you.”

Glenn leads you out into the chaos. What’s left of camp isn’t very different from what Sedalia was like all those weeks ago — bodies, both rotting and fresh, littering the floor and the once-contained fires roaring loudly against the stones. Howls of anguish and sobs fill the air. 

“Y/n! Y/n!” Daryl’s southern drawl echoes through the remains of the camp, worry, fear, and anger lacing his words. “Where the hell is the kid?!”

The survivors are all gathered around the RV, and you watch as he shoves Shane lightly for getting in his way.

“Where are they? Did you leave them alone?” Rick tacks on as T-Dog tries to get in between them, his son in his arms. “Has anyone seen Y/n?”

As the moonlight casts a blue shadow on your blood and grime covered skin, you let go of Glenn and find it within yourself to shout. “I’m right here!”

The redneck’s head snaps over to you and he abandons his antagonism against the ex-cop in favor of running over to you. Daryl grabs your face in both of his hands and starts scanning over your features.

“You alright? Any of this blood yours?” He whispers gruffly.

“I’m… I mean I hurt my leg but otherwise I’m fine. No bites.” Your hollow voice cracks slightly as you speak, and your gaze flits away from him as he bends down to check your leg. “Is that?…”

Andrea sits, crumpled at the foot of the door into the RV. In her lap is Amy. Sweet Amy. Amy, who missed texting more than most and still had this beautiful ability to wonder in her twenties. Amy, whose birthday is tomorrow.

Amy, Amy, Amy.

Your blood runs cold and your stomach drops so fast you might fall over as the older blonde’s bloody hands brush across your dead friend’s pale skin. 

“Don’t look.” Your guardian orders once he’s followed your gaze, but it’s too late.

Tears, burning hot and long coming, spill out of your eyes and down your cheeks. Daryl sighs and, because the attention isn’t on either of you, lets you curl into his chest, his hand rubbing down your back in an attempt at comforting you.

It’s useless, though. 

Andrea’s sobs filter through the air as a heavy silence overcomes the rest of the group, each and every one of them consumed with the weight of what they’ve lost.

──────────────────

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#daryl:the professional #daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon imagine #the walking dead #the walking dead imagine #the walking dead x reader #gender neutral reader #young reader #carl grimes #glenn rhee #lori grimes #tdog #dale horvath #carol peletier #sophia peletier #zombie apocalypse #platonic fic

[jaded-quill]

Finally watched "The Batman" and the first thing I gotta say is: WTF that was Colin Farrel as Penguin?!

Ok though, I get the love for it now and how it stands out from all the previous Batman iterations. The biggest thing being Batman himself. Like, I am no Pattison fan. Nothing against the guy, just not a Twilight fan, etc, but he did a great job.

So the character really fits the canon with being Batman, who only becomes Bruce Wayne when he had to. Even more of a recluse than older versions because, let's face it, any modern telling has to account for technology causing issues otherwise.

He's already established as The Bat, but is still learning how to use the persona, and he spends more time being The World's Greatest Detective than beating people up.

I wanted to laugh at his hopelessly emo look when the suit and mask have just come off, but Batman has always been emo. He just doesn't usually look it quite so much.

I love how he runs around in a bulky jacket with a hoodie hood and often biker helmet to lurk in the shadows as a normal dude. His quick change is at least once just shucking the jacket and putting on the cowl.

I love how Jim Gordon is practically a friend, and has kept other cops from trying to arrest Batman, and they have this wary reaction to the Bat, but accept his help.

I love Selina, and the chemistry the two have right off the bat. It feels a little different. She feels a bit different.

I appreciate the badguy mostly succeeding for once, partially because Batman's ego or self-preservation gets in the way and stops him from properly interpreting the evidence at a critical juncture. He was so certain Riddler had figured out his identity, but if he'd really stopped to think, he'd see that the "platonic flirtation" with Batman didn't jive with the attempt on Bruce's life. Instead, he was convinced his cover was blown and very nearly gave himself away because of it. It was a seriously impressive display of barely-masked vulnerability peeking out through his eyes and posture as Riddler talked about Bruce.

Oh and he spends at least as much time rescuing people during the flood as he does kicking ass. Maybe more. The bit with the flare was a stellar set of visuals that told so much without words.

Also, the use of his Vengeance title throughout finall made sense when he realized at the end that he could also be a source of hope.

Like, just stellar writing.

Even his tech seemed advanced in some ways, but mostly the really useful shit like the contacts, which are very likely to be real soon enough if they aren't already.

Nothing too outlandish, really. Also, while he does have a souped-up batmobile, his fancy regular car he takes to the memorial service is a perfect impression of the shape of his traditional ride while still a normal enough car.

Basically, I just really appreciate this movie, a ton. It isn't something I'll rewatch a bunch, but I gotta give judos.

#the batman #spoilers

[cocainegirlsnblunts]

Ecstasy | Euphoria

Serena Baxter

MENTIONS OF SUBSTANCE ABUSE, SELF HARM, AND CHILD NEGLECT.

*Rue narrating*

Serena Baxter has gone through some fucked up shit.

She grew up in East Highland as an only child with her Mom and Dad.

And she was a normal girl.

Just always left alone with her thoughts.

She was exposed to a lot at a young age, Her dad was a drug addict, a cheater, parents always argued. But when he found someone else and actually left his family, her mom became a whore. She had a new boyfriend every week, never got anyone to stay. Serena thought her mom was weak, and it showed her how easy it was to get hurt. So she made the promise to herself to never end up like her mother.

After coming up with the idea of shutting everyone out and not having relationships with anyone, Teachers quickly noticed her drastic change in behavior and contacted her parents. All they did was get her a therapist. Which she appreciated but, a therapist couldn’t replace her parents.

All she ever wanted was genuine love in her family. So every night before she went to bed she’d pray to God that her dad would come back and love her again.

Sometimes she’d even cry in the shower thinking about how she was always a loving daughter but he still left.

Therapy helped but she knew she couldn’t let that much out because she would get her and her parents in trouble. Plus her mom couldn’t afford therapy so it didn’t last long.

And one night, the Summer before 8th grade, out on the roof looking up at stars she thought

“my parents stopped caring about me a long time ago.”

So she just gave up, on everything. Grades were slipping, she’d skip school, got into smoking and drinking, started cutting herself.

But nobody noticed.

And nobody seemed to care.

She stopped with the shutting people out bullshit and got a group of friends, just not the right friends. They made her go from smoking cigarettes to smoking weed, they got her into LSD, cocaine, and stealing. They took her to parties with horny older guys. She got into makeup, slutty clothes. Serena loved it, not caring anymore.

But she knew it was wrong.

The thought of “this is not the way to live.” lingered in her mind all the time but she always ignored it.

Her Mom was either always fucking some guy, or passed out drunk while all of this was going on. But when she’d sober up and actually get back in touch with reality it wasn’t hard to see what has been up with her Daughter. Serena changed, It hurt her seeing her like that but what hurt her even more is that she knew it was all her fault, and she didn’t do anything to stop it.

She tried to help her and make small talk everyday. Express her concerns and try to actually know what her daughter has been doing. But it would always turn into an argument cause Serena thought it was all bullshit.

And even though Serena would just walk away and ignore her Mother, she’d always listen, even if she closed and locked her door, she’d listen to see what she had to say, if she was actually trying. And one day her Mom’s words actually got to her.

“I’m getting help, for me and for you. I know that I haven’t given you the best life and i’m sorry. But it hurts me seeing you like this. You’re my sweet girl Serena, and I love you. So please whenever you’re ready i’m here.

And that worked, All Serena wanted was reassurance. So she opened the door and hugged her Mother, and ever since that they both got better. Both sobered up, Serena put more effort in school, Julie in work, they did check ins with each other, went on walks, started eating healthier, watched movies every night. It was Serena’s dream come true, and she was thankful for those moments with her Mom.

#maggie lindemann #euphoriaecstasy #euphoria season one #skins uk #mommy issues #daddy issues