#this is why jack is so fiercely defensive of his cooking

[we-are-inevitable]

btw in the restaurant au. if you even care. jack goes to culinary school because growing up, his dad always made incredible food, and he started puttering around the kitchen with him when he was like 5 years old. he always wanted to try better recipes and newer things, and his dad- though they didnt have much money- would always save up for good ingredients so jack could cook whatever his little heart desired. cooking was their time; i imagine his dad was a line cook or something, not at a fancy restaurant or anything but at a little diner, and cooking was Their thing. jack would spend all day with his mom, and as soon as his dad came home- no matter how tired he was of cooking, no matter how much he wanted to just go lay down- they would go to the kitchen and he would supervise jack as jack made dinner for everyone.

when jack’s mom gets sick, he’s 10 years old, and his dad has to cut back his time at the diner to take care of her, since jack is in school and can’t be there. this means they bring in less money, so they can’t really afford to pay for the fresh ingredients now; most of their meals at home are dollar store staples. hanburger helper, microwavable TV dinners, sandwiches- they genuinely don’t have the money to spend on fresh produce anymore, and even buying ground beef and chicken breasts is splurging that they can’t often afford.

they live on a shoestring budget until jack can get his first job at age 14. his mom beats cancer the first time, but they’re drowning in medical debt, so jack finds a job that will actually hire him despite not being 15 yet, and his first real job is working as a dishwasher at a restaurant down the street. he works nearly every day, and all of his money is given to his father, despite his father insisting that he doesn’t need a job, he shouldn’t have a job, he’s just a kid and his money should be going toward kid stuff and not paying his parent’s medical bills.

but jack refuses, so they keep it up. i think the only non-mom-related expenses jack has are food related,, sometimes he’ll stop in the little grocery store he would go to with his dad when they were younger and buy fresh vegetables and a little two pound roll of hamburger meat, just so they can at least have one meal that isn’t ready from a box. jack continues this until he’s fifteen, and by the time he turns 15, his mother’s cancer is back, even after only been beaten for a year, and it’s a lot worse.

jack drops out at 15, after having long conversations with his father, and though it breaks his father’s heart to see jack doing this, it’s unfortunately what needs to be done. jack drops out and gets another job on top of the dishwashing, and he ends up as a line cook at a fast food place. they’re able to pay the bills on jack’s paychecks, and get groceries with the little that jack’s dad makes from the days he’s able to work.

jack’s mom passes when he’s 16, leaving jack and his dad to cover both funeral and medical expenses. they’re drowning after that, both grieving in their own ways. jack’s father can barely get out of bed for weeks, but jack is back at work the day after his mother’s funeral because he knows they can’t risk falling behind on bills.

jack’s dad loved his mom so much. they were such a happy family before she got sick, which wasn’t her fault, none of this was ever her fault, but after she passes he’s completely out of commission. he can’t keep a job, he barely talks anymore, he drinks and drinks until jack can’t recognize him. it’s terrifying to watch, but jack gives him his time- he knows that eventually, his father is going to get back on his feet, and he’s going to be okay, and he’s going to go back to work and they’re going to get to relax and things will be fine again.

jack’s dad dies a few days after jack’s 18th birthday. they didn’t see it coming. the paramedics say it was a heart attack. jack likes to think of it as his mom needing his dad. it’s easier to stomach that way.

but that’s fine. everything is fine. jack, freshly 18, plans his second funeral and again, he’s back at work the day after putting his dad in the ground. he sells most of the furniture to have some extra cash. he finds a cheaper apartment in the bad part of town because he can’t afford a two bedroom when he’s just one kid. he has a bed, he has photos of his parents, and he has a kitchen. that’s all he needs.

the next few years pass with jack climbing the ranks in whatever restaurants he can get his hands on. he’s finally in a place where he can save for school, culinary school, and he has more restaurant experience under his belt by the time he’s 21 than most of his older coworkers do. he busts his ass and works so hard to put himself through school, and when he finally gets his certificate after everything, he can rest. he starts applying to different high end restaurants, and he works as a cook in a nice steakhouse for a while, but he doesn’t like his coworkers and knows he deserves more than being miserable.

when he hears about a new restaurant opening in the area, some “high end” burger joint called Pulitzer’s, he throws his hat in the ring with an application and is hired on as the lead chef at the age of 25.

he’s 26 when a new server named David Jacobs is hired, and things start looking up.

#this is why jack is so fiercely defensive of his cooking #and why david getting pissed at him makes him so angry #jack also is able to get his GED before going to culinary school and he just wishes he could tell his dad he finally finished high school #this is so much longer than i meant it to be but fuckkk bro jack loves his dad so much #jack kelly #newsies #davey jacobs #david jacobs #livesies #newsies musical #jac txt. #jac’s headcanons #restaurant au #javid

[evil-overlord-scriptology]

But I Don’t Want to be a Sensei Pt 1 (ARCHIVED)

Chapters 1 thru 7

Chapter 1: Of Arrogant Uncles and Annoying Brothers

My mouth dropped open as I regarded my clan leader, “You want me to do what?!” I screeched. Fugaku-sama didn't seem impressed by my breech in conduct. Feeling sheepish under his fierce gaze, I ducked my head. Damn the Uchiha Main Branch and their ability to cower anyone with a look. Usually I was unaffected by glares, being an Uchiha and all, but Fugaku and his family seemed to be the exception to that rule.

 “I will not repeat myself.” Fugaku-sama stated, crossing his arms and leveling a nasty look at me. Of course he wouldn't. My clan leader may have had a change of heart but he was still an arrogant asshole... not that I'd ever tell him that. I wasn't that insane, not matter what other people said.

 Still, my common sense didn't prevent me from keeping my mouth shut; Nii-san always did say that I had no concept of the art. Funny, since it was coming from him, “Well you damn well better repeat yourself, because I thought I heard you say that you want me to babysit your brat!” I snapped. I got extreme satisfaction in seeing Fugaku's eyes widen at my blatant disrespect. Whatever punishment I was about to receive was worth it.

 Fugaku-sama's Sharingan flashed, but being an Uchiha gave me some resistance to the intimidation of glowing red eyes. “You will not take that tone with me, Uchiha Yanagi, is that understood?” Fugaku ground out in that stern voice of his. Some deaf idiot might call it fatherly, but I could hear the cold undertone. If I stepped out of line again, I would probably be denounced as an Uchiha, if I was that lucky.

 I decided not to push my luck.

 I bowed low, “Apologizes, Uchiha-sama, I did not mean to offend.” I said in a false humble voice. Fugaku and I both knew that I had meant every word out of my mouth. I wasn't known as blunt and opinionated for nothing. Still, it was all a matter of pride. If I apologized then I would get an explanation from the infuriating man. That was the unspoken rule.

 Fugaku made me grovel a moment longer before sighing. “I want you to be a jounin sensei.” He stated again. Right off the bat, another sucker-punch. My clan leader didn't believe in sugarcoating words, that much was true.

 I bit my lip to keep the retort that was begging to be said in.

 “My eldest son's efforts to bring the Uchiha clan closer to the village are starting to fall short.” No surprise there, Konohagakure didn't trust the Uchiha clan for whatever absurd reason, and visa-versa. Five years ago the Uchiha clan had planned a coup d'état, I still do not understand the reasoning behind the Uchiha's actions. Luckily for the Uchiha clan, Fugaku's eldest son Itachi, and his friend Shisui, managed to stop the coup d'état before anything happened. Since then, the Uchiha and Konoha have been working hard to make past amends.

 And according to Fugaku, those amends weren't doing jack.

 “What does that have to do with me?” I asked, struggling hard to keep the sarcasm out of my voice. I was already in hot water as it was. I didn't need to accidentally take a flying leap over the edge. The man gave me a displeased scowl, which I had a suspicion that he was just doing it because he wanted to. Fugaku seemed to be that kind of man.

 “The Hokage has recently thought up of a new plan to bring the clan closer to the village. We are to implement our teachings into the new generation that is graduating from the Academy. You are to be the first Uchiha jounin sensei.” Was it bad that this village had been around for a long time and I was the first ever Uchiha to be a sensei? I wanted to roll my eyes, but didn't. I could see through that false pride in a heartbeat. And I didn't need my Sharingan to do that.

 I sat back, seeing no need to keep bowing like some groveling peasant, and crossed my arms, “I still don't see what this has to do with me. Why not someone else? Itachi-san, perhaps. I'm sure he'd love to teach his younger brother.” Okay, the sarcasm was starting to show.

 “It is because of Itachi's relation to Sasuke that he is unable to be a jounin sensei.” And my relation to Sasuke wasn't? I was his first cousin, damn it! I couldn't help but notice that Fugaku failed to mention why I was the person chosen to be the glorious Uchiha sensei.

 Sometimes I think Fugaku should have been named 'weasel' instead of his eldest son.

 Before I could open my mouth, Fugaku waved his hand and turned his head away to find something new to occupy his attention, “Go. The class graduates tomorrow, you are to pick your team up the day after. The information packet will be sent to your house.” Damn old codger. He just had to change the subject before I could grill him some more. I gave a smart, slightly mocking, bow and marched out of the room. I just hoped that nothing else bad happened.

 Apparently it wasn't my lucky day.

 “Oof!” I ran smack into a hard body. Damn it, I wanted to get home and be as sarcastic and hateful as I wanted, not playing nice to more pompous Uchiha men! I took a step back and glared up at the person I had run into. I groaned wordlessly when I saw who it was and ground my teeth together so I wouldn't speak.

 Shisui gave me an easy smile, “Yanagi...” He acknowledged with an amused tone. His dark eyes darted to the room I had just exited, then back to me, “Have a good argument?” The man asked teasingly. If anyone knew I liked arguing with my betters, it was Shisui. Sometimes I think he was the reason why I argued so much. I glared at him and made to walk past him, but he stepped in my path, “Ah, don't be mean, Yagi... You know I love you.” Shisui whined in a playful tone.

 I intensified my glare and punched Shisui in the gut. I was the only person allowed to physically hit Uchiha Shisui and get away with it, and I took advantage of my privileges. Like usual, Shisui took the blow with a good-natured chuckle, “Still giving me the silent treatment, eh? Yagi, I think you hold the record for holding grudges.”

 My jaw worked as I thought about breaking my five year silence towards the goofy Uchiha. His comment did deserve a response, but if I did say something he would only tease me about breaking my silence. I really wanted to slap him for using that stupid childhood name too, we weren't kids anymore; but I doubt Shisui would be very amused with a slap to the face. Hitting yes, slapping... not so much.

 I was saved from making the choice when Fugaku-sama called from inside his office, “Shisui!” The old codger barked like the badger he was. Still, he saved me from dealing with the stupid Uchiha before me, so I'd let him off the hook this one time. I gave Shisui a self-satisfied smirk, which he returned with a wink and a mocking little bow, as I dodged around the twenty-three year old man and took off like there was no tomorrow.

 Of all the Uchiha, Shisui was probably the one who annoyed me the most, even more so than my brother.

 vvv

 “YANAGI!!! Close the damn door!” My brother screeched like an old wife when I walked in the house we lived in. I rolled my eyes and slammed the door shut. I had just walked in and he was acting like I had left the door open for hours, not mere seconds.

 “I didn't have the chance before you started yelling at me!” I yelled back as I sat down to take off my sandals. Calmly I put the black shoes neatly on the floor where I could shove my feet in them if I was in a hurry and kicked Nii-san's shoes out of the way. My brother was a slob and he proudly admitted to it. There was a reason why I didn't get along with him, we were too different; we were almost opposite in every way.

 Obito cursed and stomped into the living room, his one eye livid, “You're late and I'm hungry. Get in the kitchen!” Nii-san said, half playfully, throwing his head back and pointing a rigid finger towards the kitchen.

 “Go shove ramen down your throat. I'm not cooking.” I hissed as I started for my room. I wasn't Obito's slave, there was no way I was going to do anything I didn't want to.

 Of course Obito wasn't going to have any of that. Before I could get three feet from him, Nii-san had his arms wrapped around my waist and was bodily dragging me to the kitchen. “Food, now! Smartass comments later.” He ordered. I made sure to fight him all the way, if Obito was determined to get me to cook, he was going to regret every second of it.

 I wondered if Kakashi left that poison around from the last mission...

 “I already got rid of the poison. Nice try.” Obito said dully as he shoved me through the doorway to the kitchen. I groaned, he knew me too well. “Now do your womanly duties!”

 My eyes narrowed as I glared at my brother, “Does that include providing someone with children?” I asked sarcastically. I could predict what Obito would do. He would go into a tirade how no man was to touch me until I was forty, and even then it was to be with a fifty foot pole. My brother was more overprotective than a father would be. No father in their right mind would attempt to order a twenty-one year old jounin around, but Obito did and he somehow got away with it. The only people of the male persuasion who were allowed withing a ten foot radius of me when Nii-san was around was himself and Kakashi, who was basically another brother to me–I only liked him more.

 As I predicted, Obito immediately went on defense, “Why, has anyone asked? Cuz I'll skin them alive, castrate them with a rusty kunai, rip their spine out and choke them with it! And in that order!”

 I rolled my eyes at my brother's exuberant behavior as I bent down to dig around in the cupboards before I found the pot I wanted. “Alright, Nii-san, don't go on another man hunt. The Hokage said no more.”

 Obito crossed his arms with a pout, “I didn't hurt that one guy that bad...” He grumbled.

 “You put him in the hospital!”

 “He's the one who tripped.”

 “And fell off the roof that you had cornered him on.”

 “It's his own fault, he shouldn't have tried to run.”

 My right eye twitched as I turned away and slammed the pot down on the stove, just pretending that the stove was Obito's head and I was bashing it in. My anger still not spent, I went around the kitchen making Miso soup and imagining every ingredient I used was Obito's head. I especially liked it when I was dicing the green onions. My brother was too protective when it came to my romantic life–though, thanks to Obito, my romantic life was practically nonexistent. The man that had fallen off the building during Obito's last man hunt hadn't even been really into me. He was just flirting for the sake of flirting. I could see that in his eyes. But of course my brother didn't bother to think about it. He just charged in without thinking.

 And people wondered why I didn't like my brother.

 Obito, being the perceptive Uchiha that he was, said, “Stop beating my imaginary head in. Kakashi-baka is coming to dinner.”

 “And what does Kakashi coming over have to do with me crushing your skull?” I asked testily.

 For the first time since I had been home, Obito finally cracked a smile. It wasn't as goofy as it could be, more cynical, “Because Kakashi-baka might try and make it into a reality! You're making Miso soup right?” Miso soup was the only dish that I could make that met Kakashi's snooty taste buds. I swear the man was more picky than Fugaku-sama, who was legendary when it came to being a picky eater.

 “I was going to make it anyway. It's easy and fast and you hate it.” I snapped playfully. Obito only pouted, which meant he knew I was teasing. If he thought I had been serious we would already be fighting again.

 Nii-san reached over and tugged hard on my ponytail, “Watch it brat, or I might handcuff you to Shisui.” I shivered at the thought. Being handcuffed to someone I wasn't speaking to wouldn't be fun, especially since they would do everything in their power to make me talk. Obito laughed at my expression of horror, “Why do you hate him anyway?” He asked.

 I shot Nii-san a glare, “I don't hate Shisui... he just reminds me of you too much.”

 Obito gave a sly smile, “So you do hate him.” He stated.

 “No, I don't. I hate his personality.”

 “That's the same as hating him.”

 “Uchiha Obito, do not incur my wrath, it will be the end of you!”

 Obito smirked and sang teasingly, “You're just proving my point by changing the subject~!” He barely dodged the ladle I threw at him, considering it was at point blank I was rather impressed by my brother's evading skills. We were too busy glaring at each other now to pay attention to where the ladle went.

 “Yo! Is this a bad time?” Kakashi's voice said behind Obito. My eyes widened as I looked over my brother's shoulder at his best friend and old teammate. He was twirling the ladle around his right index finger, his only visible eye closed in an eye-smile. Behind Kakashi, Rin was giggling at the scene before her, her fingers pressed against her lips.

 Obito immediately spun around at the sound of Kakashi's voice, his single eye zeroing in on Rin. I sighed, though Obito said he was over Rin I suspected my brother still loved the twit. I never really liked her that much. She was nice and friendly, I admit; but there was no way she could be oblivious to my brother's aberrant affection, not without having to be a nitwit. So either she was stupid for not noticing that Obito loved her, or cruel enough to never dissuade him. I might not like my brother as some siblings did, but I still cared for him on some degree. And I didn't like how Rin treated him throughout their genin days. But for the sake of my brother's feelings, I never voiced my opinions.

 This silence was getting awkward as Obito just stared at Rin...

 BONG!!

 “Ouch! Yanagi, what the hell was that for?!” Obito shouted, clutching the back of his head as he turned to glare at me. I smiled sweetly as I could and tossed the dented metal cooking spoon into the trash. Just because I cared for my brother's feelings to a degree didn't mean anything. I was still going to abuse my power as the younger sister.

 “Can't I be a pest without any reason?” I asked innocently as I poured four bowls of Miso soup and passed them out among the three former members of Team Minato, keeping one for myself. From the way Nii-san's eye narrowed I knew his answer was 'no I couldn't'. I grinned evilly at him, my brother didn't have a say in what I did anyway. If I wanted to hit him in the back of the head with a metal spoon, I would.

 Kakashi sighed at our antics, “You two are idiots.” He said dully, the cheerful nature he had been sporting disappearing to be replaced with his true personality. Obito of course started yelling at Kakashi while I just rolled my eyes. I loved to argue, but only when I got a reaction out of people. Kakashi wouldn't react if I lit his clothes on fire.

 I listened mildly as the two exchanged insults, Kakashi's were more subtle than Obito's, sipping periodically from my bowl. It was hard to believe that those two men were part of Konoha's elite ninja. They bickered like five year olds. I glanced over at Rin to see her right eye twitching in irritation. Ever since that S-ranked mission years ago during the Third Shinobi War, her personality had gone from timid and sweet to more assertive. My mouth twitched upwards, I could hardly remember the days when Rin unsuccessfully tried to reason with Kakashi and Obito. Now however...

 The brown haired woman reached across the table and grabbed both men by their ears, pulling hard, “Would you two behave?!” She snapped when she had their attention. Kakashi jerked his ear from her grasp and glared at her. Obito only whined like the baby he was. Soon all three of them were arguing. I snorted into my bowl. If there was one thing that could be said about my brother and his friends, it was they knew how to keep me entertained.

 Just as Obito threw the first kunai–which was a regular occurrence among these three–there was a knock at the door. All four of us stopped what we were doing to look at the door in confusion. It was rare that Obito or I got any visitors, much less ones who actually knocked on the door instead of walking in like they owned the place. After the scandal about Nii-san refusing to take his left sharingan back from Kakashi, the Uchiha clan pretty much isolated Obito and me.

 I went to answer the door and was surprised to see a Konoha official, not an Uchiha, standing there looking nervous. I really didn't blame him, Obito and I were known for our short tempers and brash behavior. We weren't exactly typical Uchiha clan members in that sense. Because of our reputation, I saw no need to be polite, “What do you want?” I asked shortly.

 The Konoha nin gulped and shoved a moderately thick packet at me, “Meeting is tomorrow at the Hokage's office. Good day, Uchiha-san.” The man said quickly then high tailed it out of there.

 Obito was on my case the second I closed the door, “What's all that about? Why does the Hokage want you? Speak, imoto!” My brother said his single eye staring intensely at the packet in my hands. I shoved past him, ignoring his questions. If Obito knew that Fugaku-sama was forcing me to be a jounin sensei, I would never hear the end of it.

 I forgot about Kakashi.

 “You're going to be a jounin sensei?” The white haired nin asked curiously. He recognized the packet, having been almost a jounin sensei himself a couple of occasions. Kakashi always failed the potential genin and went back to being an ANBU captain. He was infamous for failing ever single student. I didn't know why the Hokage continuously tried to make Kakashi a sensei when he clearly didn't want to be one.

 That made two of us.

 “WHAT?!” Obito screeched and the three of us winced at his tone. I sighed as I tucked the packet under my arm. This was going to be a long day.

  Chapter 2: Last Day of Freedom

“There's that kid... You know I heard he's the only one who failed.”

 “Hmph, serves him right.”

 “Can you imagine what would happen if he became an ninja?”

 I opened my eyes as my ears picked up on the conversation among the happy parents celebrating their brats' graduation. Turning my head slightly to the left and looking down, I could see the object of the women's conversation straddling the swing hanging from the tree I was lounging in. I felt no pity for him. I had chased after the yellow haired menace too many times for disruption of the peace and defacing public property; since part of the Konoha Police Force's job was to watch over the brat and make sure nothing befell him as well as keep him from pranking.

 The little fox brat always managed slipped past the Police Force squads and caused a ruckus anyway.

 I glanced over my shoulder at my teammate sitting in the same tree I was. Ibo was watching the gossiping peahens with fierce intensity. Should either of the women make a threatening move towards Naruto, the white haired Uchiha would step in and 'dissuade' them from continuing their attack. Ibo glanced at me when he felt my gaze. I wordlessly lifted my hand and made a series of quick one handed signs. Ibo nodded silently and repeated the hand gestures to our other teammate who was on the ground, leaning in the shade of the Academy building.

 Ibo and I watched as Denryoku waded into the crowd of proud brats and mushy parents, his dark eyes on the two women. All conversation dwindled away as everyone watched the imposing man stalk towards the bimbos. Both women snapped their attention around to the Uchiha, but I was too far away to see their expression. Denryoku gave the two a polite smile and nod as he passed by them without a word, continuing down the street like he was going on patrol and nothing more. When he was gone, the woman bent closer together to whisper, eyes darting for any more signs of the police. I grinned a little to myself, nothing like reminding two idiots that the Konoha Police Force was always monitoring Naruto and any hint of revealing the secret about him.

 I stood and stretched my arms above my head, using chakra to keep me balanced on the slim tree branch, “Come on, Ibo, our work is finished.” I said dully.

 My more silent teammate shot me a glance as he too stood up. In a quick succession of hand signals, my teammate informed me that we weren't off duty yet. I rolled my eyes and pointed downwards, where the swing Naruto had been sitting on swung back and forth wildly. The kid had gone off with one of his teachers, he was safe and we didn't have to worry any more. Ibo still looked skeptical, but followed me nonetheless. I was captain of the squad for a reason.

 And it wasn't just because I was the only one who knew how to do paperwork correctly.

 Denryoku was flirting with a small crowd of girls when we walked up on him. I rolled my eyes. Like all Uchiha men, Denryoku had a fanclub. The only problem was, unlike most Uchiha, Denryoku adored his fans almost as much as they adored him.

 “Enjoying yourself?” I asked as Ibo and I walked up on our teammate. A few of his fangirls squealed when they saw Ibo standing beside me, but he ignored them.

 Denryoku gave me a cocky grin, his arms wrapped around the shoulders of two chesty and scantly clad women, “You know you want some of me too, Yanagi!”

 I stared at him expressionlessly.

 The flirty Uchiha stared back for a minute before hanging his head in defeat and cursing, “Damn it, Yanagi! Why do you have to be so intimidating?!” He growled as he stepped away from the sluts and crossed his arms with a pout.

 I grinned briefly before letting my face fall back into neutral, “It's a gift. Now we have to report, say goodbye to your girlfriends and hurry up.” I said and started to turn away, but Ibo grabbed my arm. Silently he pointed back towards the Academy. I followed his finger then groaned when I saw Fugaku-sama making his way towards us. Denryoku immediately leapt to our side when he saw our clan leader, scrubbing at his lipstick stained cheeks with the cuff of his sleeve. Fugaku was a bit of a prude and he thought that Uchiha shouldn't degrade themselves with vulgar behavior.

 It was a wonder how he managed to Mikoto-oba pregnant twice.

 The three of us bowed when Fugaku-sama stopped in front of us, though I didn't bow nearly as low as Ibo or Denryoku. Behind Fugaku stood his family, complete with the newly made genin brat that I would have the pleasure of torturing tomorrow.

 “Report.” Fugaku said, crossing his arms with a stern look he always wore when dealing with the Konoha Police Force squads. I stayed silent as Denryoku informed the Konoha Police Force Commander of all that had transpired. I wasn't going to speak unless my clan leader addressed my directly. And even then I might only yell at him for making me become a sensei. I loved my patrol, it was probably the only thing I enjoyed. And Fugaku-sama was taking that away all for the sake of his brat.

 My eyes darted towards the duckass boy, he was talking amiably to his older brother about whatever brats like to talk about. Tomorrow he wouldn't be smiling, I was going to make his life a living hell. Maybe he would actually quit being a ninja. I'd get a kick out of seeing how his family reacted to that.

 Sasuke must have felt my stare because he turned to me with questioning eyes. I held his gaze as my mouth tilted upwards into a sneer. I was starting to look forward to tomorrow and see how he reacted in knowing that I would be his sensei. I was even starting to hope that one of his more annoying fangirls got on the team, if only to torture Sasuke.

 Things were starting to look up.

 I was still smiling when Fugaku left my squad alone. Immediately after the Main Branch family left, Denryoku turned to me, “What sort of torture do you have planned for that poor kid?! You were practically scaring the shit out of Sasuke!” The loud mouth flirt exclaimed. Both my squad members knew of my involuntary retirement form the police force, they would be losing their captain after all. Even worse, while I was on my little quest to make the clan look good, Ibo and Denryoku would be on their own 'bring the Uchiha closer to the village' mission.

 I wouldn't return to the police force since I would be a permanent sensei, then a team leader if the genin made chunnin by some miracle. So Fugaku had found a replacement to take over my position as captain. Normally it wouldn't be that bad, but the great clan leader in all his infinite glory had decided to pull another jerk move on my poor teammates.

 They were getting an Hyuuga as a captain.

 All in the name of peace between the Uchiha and Konohagakure, at least that was what Fugaku-sama said. For years only Uchiha were trained as Konoha's police; but that lead to suspicion that the police were being biased towards the Uchiha clan, so Fugaku began granting admission to any who could make the cut. As a result there was an influx of many non-Uchiha police officers, but none had ever been given the rank of captain.

 Until now, apparently.

 Denryoku sighed and stuck his lower lip out in a pout, “Why do you have to go? Why can't it be Ibo? He's no fun.” Our silent teammate shot Denryoku a nasty look that was almost on par with mine, but as usual the abnormally white haired Uchiha said nothing.

 I rolled my eyes and stuffed my hands in my pockets, “Because then Ibo would have to actually talk. Besides, he hasn't activated the Sharingan, so he can't teach Sasuke. I have and I'm proficient with our Kekke Genkai, but I'm not powerful enough like Itachi-san or Shisui to matter if I become a jounin sensei.”

 “You know that question was rhetorical, right?” Denryoku asked drily, giving me a look out of the corner of his eye.

 I only shrugged. Denryoku was famous for asking a question he wanted to know the answer to then claiming it was rhetorical. I suspected he did that to seem smarter, especially when the answer was obvious. “Come on, let's celebrate our last night together as a squad and go drinking.” I said and threw my arms over my tall teammates shoulders. I was tall for a women, almost as tall as a man, and they were still taller than me. It wasn't fair!

 Ibo immediately shrugged my arm off and turned his head away from us. I'd bet a thousand ryo that the guy was blushing. Ibo was extremely shy, but he hid it underneath layers of neutral expressions and silence. It was one of the reasons why Fugaku paired Ibo with Denryoku and me, so that he would never have to speak and go outside of his comfort zone. Fugaku may be a grade-A jerk, but he stilled cared for his clan members.

 Denryoku wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me closer, “Sure! I love it when you get drunk! You're not a surly woman then.” He said cheerfully. I glared at him, contemplating whether that comment deserved setting Obito after my teammate or not. Denryoku seemed to catch on to what I was thinking, because he paled, “Not your brother...” He pleaded as he jerked his arm away from my waist.

 I grinned. It was nice to know that my teammate feared my brother enough that he would do anything I said if only to avoid the overprotective Uchiha. “Don't worry, Denryoku, I'm sure Nii-san won't hurt you too bad.” I said teasingly. Denryoku was starting to look ill.

 “You're terrible, Yanagi-san...” A soft barely audible voice said. Denryoku and I snapped our heads around to stare at Ibo, who was staring at his feet. Knowing the white haired Uchiha, he probably hadn't meant to say that out load. With shaking hands, Ibo quickly made the hand signals for an apology. Denryoku and I exchanged looks, our faces twisting up in amusement. When Fugaku had put the shy Uchiha on our squad after our last teammate retired, the clan leader had warned us about Ibo's habit to speak through jounin hand signals. We hadn't taken him seriously then.

 After three years of being on the same squad, Ibo had spoken maybe fifteen words, including the four he had just said, and used hand signs the rest of the time. It was his way of speaking.

 Denryoku pounced on Ibo, grabbing the younger Uchiha in a choke hold, “If you ever want to get a girl, you've gotta learn to talk to one, you know.” The flirt said as he ruffled Ibo's white hair with his knuckles. Ibo just took the treatment without struggle.

 I sighed, “You two are idiots. Come on, I want to drink. Maybe I'll get a hangover for tomorrow.” I said dully as I started for the nearest bar.

 Denryoku followed, Ibo still in his choke hold. “Fugaku-sama will kill you if you show up hungover tomorrow. We've all seen you the day after you're dead drunk, I can't think of anyone with a worse temper.” He pointed out.

 “Fine. I'll just get a little drunk.” I compromised.

 “Yeah right... someone is going to challenge you to a drinking game and you'll be stone drunk before you know it.” Denryoku countered drily. I glared at Denryoku, who went white and ducked behind Ibo. I felt proud that I could scare one of the physically strongest Uchiha in the clan with only a glare. Ibo sighed at the both of us and shook his head, probably wondering for the millionth time why Fugaku-sama put him on Konoha Police Squad 18.

 After flashing our ninja registration cards that showed we were all jounin at the bartender, Denryoku and I started our night getting drunk on sake. Ibo sat beside us, watching us out of the corner of his eye. Ibo never drank, having some medical condition that prevented him from partaking in the fun. Besides, we needed someone to make sure Denryoku and I didn't do something stupid.

 Half the time we did something stupid anyway.

 It took nearly two hours for Denryoku to get intoxicated, and soon after I joined him in that state of extreme happiness. I got a good laugh watching the older Uchiha flirt with anything that moved, even the bartender. I nearly fell off my stool at the expression of revulsion that the bartender sported when Denryoku asked him on a date.

 “Well you seem to be enjoying yourself.” A highly amused voice said behind me.

 I turned around with a grin, “ 'Kashi-nii-san! I didn't know you would be here, enjoying your last night of freedom too? Or did the Hokage finally learn his lesson and give up making you a jounin sensei?” I asked, my words only slightly slurred together.

 The grey haired male blinked his visible eye, from amusement or confusion that I was actually being friendly, I didn't know. He nodded towards a booth set in the back, where most of the other Jounin Elite sat chatting. My brother wasn't there luckily, he'd kill me if he knew I was drunk. I swear that man treated me like a five year old. “We're enjoying the night too.” Kakashi said mildly, not answer my question.

 Denryoku turned around, his right eye twitching in annoyance, “Hey... cool guy. My girlfriend, so back off.” The drunk Uchiha slurred. Ibo sighed and forcibly turned Denryoku back around, shooting an apologetic look at Kakashi.

 Kakashi watched my two teammates for a moment before turning to me, his visible eye questioning. I shrugged as I knocked back another shot of sake, “He's talking crazy, I'd never date him.” I dismissed the accusation easily.

 My drunk teammate turned to me, rivers of tears running down his cheeks, “Bu-but... Yanagiii... you said you loved me!” I rolled my eyes at him as I laughed out right. Only in his dreams would I ever say that I loved Denryoku, other than a friend. The Uchiha wailed loudly and threw himself all over poor Ibo, who's expression screamed 'do not want'. I laughed at their faces.

 The Hatake jounin scratched the back of his head nervously, “So this is why Uchiha never get drunk...” He said mostly to himself. I nodded happily, even though it wasn't a question. The Uchiha clan was so uptight that it had to take being stone drunk for them to relax.

 I leaned closer to Kakashi as if to share a secret, “Hey... do you think that Ibo-kun would be talkative if we got him drunk?” I asked in a loud whisper. The white haired Uchiha shot me a dirty look as he struggled to push Denryoku off of him.

 “Maybe. Let's not try it though. I think you should go home and rest up for tomorrow.” Kakashi hedged.

 My mood changed from happy to angry in .06 seconds. I glared at Kakashi, “Oh? Are you on 'Sister Duty'? Gotta make sure Obito's little sister behaves herself, huh? I'm a grown woman, Hatake Kakashi, I don't need you to tell me what to do!” Kakashi's hands went up in the air as he tried to defend himself. Outraged that he was lying, or so I thought in my hazy mind, I lashed out at him.

 vvv

 “Whoever invented hangovers should be dragged out in the street and made into a senbon pincushion.” I growled as Kakashi and I stumbled into the Hokage's office the next morning. The man had to physically drag me out of bed and then threatened to take away my supply of candy if I didn't get dressed. Excuse me if I don't feel any sympathy towards the jerk.

 My brother's best friend/rival sighed as he let me lean on him, “That's what you get,” Kakashi grumbled. I wasn't very high on Kakashi's 'nice list' since I apparently had managed to land a punch to his face before he used his sharingan to knock me out. I don't remember ever doing anything of the sort, but everyone I asked confirmed that I had socked Kakashi in the jaw for what appeared to be nothing.

 If I wasn't so proud that I landed a hit on the infamous Copy-nin, I would feel bad.

 I glared at him, “Just for that I hope you get the Uzumaki brat.” I growled testily. I almost felt sorry for the genin I would have to teach. Today they were going to face me at my worst, not even Obito dared to argue with me when I was hungover.

 Before Kakashi could respond, the Third Hokage cleared his throat. Both of us turned to see the old man giving us a stern look, the rest of the jounin looking exasperated. Suddenly I realized how late the both of us were. I glared up at Kakashi, I could see that smirk through his face mask. Kakashi had gotten Obito's habit of showing up extremely late to anything. He knew that being late was one of my biggest pet peeves, which meant the Copy-nin had done it on purpose.

 “Remind me to murder you later on.” I growled darkly as I stepped away from Kakashi, swaying on my feet. The jerk only gave me an eye smile, confirming that he had made me late on purpose. Though, after punching him last night, I suppose I deserved it.

 Still didn't make me any less mad.

 The Hokage started off with the spiel about how being a sensei was a big responsibility and that we were in charge of the next generation of shinobi, which then turned into a big motivational speech about the importance of genin. I sighed as I stuffed my hands into my pockets, if I thought Fugaku-sama was a long winded old fool, he had nothing on the Sandaime Hokage. Sometimes I wondered if Lord Hiruzen was Hokage because he was boring enough to talk his enemies to death.

 I tucked my chin in and closed my eyes, half listening to the Hokage as he informed all the jounin present that we could use whatever teaching methods we wished, as long as it was ethical. I smirked at that. The Uchiha clan was famous for getting as close to unethical as we could and still not breaking the rules. Still, if Fugaku learned that I was torturing his duckass son, he'd kill me. Worse, Itachi-san would be after my blood as well. The whole clan knew how much Itachi loved his little brother. I really didn't need the Uchiha Prodigy and ANBU Black Ops captain out to kill me.

 I'd have to keep my teachings ethical to all my students, or it would seem like I was playing favoritism towards Sasuke. And that was something I didn't want anyone accusing me of.

  Chapter 3 Enter Team 7!

“Morning Sasuke-kun... mind if I sit next to you?” A girlish voice said.

 The Uchiha blinked and looked away from his conversation with his cousin, Netsui. His classmate Sakura stood at the end of the table, her hands clasped in front of her flat chest. Sasuke's right eye gave a miniscule twitch. He really didn't understand why all the fangirls flocked to him when they could easily chase after Netsui, who was easily more willing than Sasuke.

 Netsui sighed and threaded his fingers behind his head. He didn't understand why Sasuke got all the fangirls. Even his twin sister Nerai was a stupid fangirl! Though, Netsui didn't want his own sister to be his fangirl, that was just wrong. Still, it was unfair that the son of the Uchiha clan leader got all the girls and not one of the other boys got an admirer. Netsui watched with mild interest as the fangirls all got into a fight about who should get to sit next to Sasuke; even if Netsui would never know the bliss of girls fighting over him, it was still fun to watch.

 Sasuke glanced back at his pouting cousin, fully intending to ignore his rowdy fangirls. They would all just stand there and argue until Iruka-sensei came in, there was no point in listening to the girls squabble about who came in first and got first dibs on the chair next to Sasuke.

 “Aniki says they divide us into three man teams. Who do you think you'll get paired with?” Sasuke asked.

 The brown haired Uchiha shrugged as his eyes lingered on the crowd of fangirls, “I don't know. Iruka-sensei probably has our teams already figured out. We can't help who we get paired up with. It could be a complete randomization...”

 “Or it could be a complex system,” Sasuke finished, “But if that's true, then how would they separate us?”

 Netsui shrugged again. It was his nervous habit, every single time his mother yelled at him about something, he just started shrugging. Honestly, he couldn't name what was making him nervous at the moment. Netsui got along fine with Sasuke. They were friends, being the top two smartest students in the academy, plus the only two Uchiha in their class, not counting Netsui's boy crazed sister. “Possibly by age or personality. Skill would be kind of dumb, since the lowest of the class would be paired with each other and never get anything done.” Netsui answered Sasuke's question.

 Sasuke frowned, that made sense, but he felt that he was missing information. As an Uchiha, he didn't like not having all the facts. When he had asked his brother, all Itachi said was that he would be placed on a three man squad with a jounin sensei. Then there was yesterday...

 Sasuke folded his hands in front of his mouth as he pondered his cousin's actions from yesterday. Yanagi-itoko had given him such an evil grin, it had almost given him chills. Almost. That police officer knew something about today, the way her eyes gleamed spoke as much. And it didn't bode well with Sasuke at all from the looks of it.

 A foot landing on the desk in front of him startled Sasuke out of his thoughts. There was that dead last idiot, Naruto, squatting in front of Sasuke and glaring. Sasuke's eyes narrowed instantly. Normally he didn't care what the idiot did; and Sasuke was never impolite to Naruto or Mikoto would flay his hide. Still, there were certain boundaries that Naruto clearly didn't understand; and that was unforgivable.

 “Naruto! Hey stop glaring at Sasuke-kun!” Sakura shouted.

 Naruto looked around at Sakura confused. The blonde boy honestly didn't understand what Sakura saw in Sasuke. Sure, the midnight blue haired Uchiha wasn't as rude as some of the boys in their class, but he was still a prick to a degree. Naruto looked back at the impassive Uchiha in front of his face. Sasuke's eyes narrowed just a fraction of an inch, enough to be classified as a glare.

 It went down hill from there...

 vvv Normal POV vvv

 I was the only one who burst out laughing when Naruto and Sasuke accidentally kissed. I could just see all the blackmail use I could get out of it. Those two would practically be my slaves, and then if some dimwitted girl should fall in love with those bozos, I was so bringing this incident back up. I might even inform Sasuke's family just for the reactions I would get from Fugaku-sama and Itachi-san.

 Maybe there was justice in the world.

 The Hokage sighed, “As usual... Naruto is right in the middle of some kind of trouble.” The old man commented when Sasuke's fangirls proceeded to beat Naruto within an inch of his life. Honestly I was still dying over the fact that my younger cousin's 'first kiss' was stolen by a rowdy boy, I really didn't care what a bunch of vain brats did to the Kyuubi kid.

 Kakashi gave me a slightly annoyed look out of the corner of his eye and elbowed me in the side to get my attention. I bit down on my first knuckle to muffle the snickers still leaking out as the Hokage went on some long winded last minute detailing about some special team that Asuma was getting. It took the entirety of Hiruzen's speech, which was saying something, but I finally got my giggles under control.

 Hiruzen-sama motioned to one of the shinobi officials sitting beside him. The nondescript person, seriously I couldn't even tell if it was female or male, passed out even more packets to the jounin. The Lord Hokage explained as his assistant distributed the stacks of papers, “These are a basic outline of the students you will be assigned. It contains a brief overview of their academics, personality, and abilities so you can adjust your training to fit their goals.”

 I couldn't help but scoff softly at that. 'Adjust your training' my ass. The Uchiha didn't adjust training, the students adjusted to the training or they failed and became a disgrace to the clan. Still, I had to keep reminding myself that the parents of my students would murder me- Fugaku being at the front of the line- if I mistreated their brats.

 Rolling my eyes because I could, I reached into the large envelope as all the other jounin did the same, and pulled out a small stack of thick paper. Dropping the envelope to the floor now that I didn't need it, I began leaving through the pages. I skipped completely over Sasuke's overview, if he was anything like a normal Uchiha then I shouldn't have a problem teaching him.

 My mouth hit the floor when I saw the remaining teammates of the new Team 7.

 Screw justice, the karma demons hated me again.

 vvv 3rd Person vvv

 “...All the genin will be grouped into three man squads, each squad will be lead by a jounin- an elite ninja.” Iruka-sensei finished his little speech.

 Sakura and Ino perked up at the same time and the same thoughts ran through their minds. A three man squad... that meant that some lucky girl would be placed on Sasuke's team! Ino recovered first and quickly pulled her aloof mask back down on her expression. “Well someone's gotta be on Sasuke-kun's group, I wonder who it will be...?”

 The pink haired girl sitting in front of her glanced slightly over her shoulder and said coolly, “I don't know.” As if the thought of anyone other than Sakura herself didn't really matter to her, when in fact it did. She was bound and determined to be on Sasuke's team if it killed her, she was certain of it. After all, Sakura was smart enough to figure out how the teams were divided. It was a sure win that she would be on Sasuke-kun's team!

 Iruka-sensei grinned, “We separate the squads by strength and abilities, that will determine who you are teamed up with.” See? Just like Sakura predicted! Because she was the most intelligent she would be placed with the strongest fighter, which was Sasuke. The only problem was that whoever was the weakest would also be put on the team, to balance them out. Sakura glanced to her right to see Naruto looking deep in thought, most likely she would be placed with him as well. What a nightmare!

  Iruka-sensei lifted the papers that listed the teams and called out in a louder voice, “I will now announce the squads!”

 All across the class room, each new genin were going through their own mental list, trying to puzzle out who they would be teamed with, all the while being sure to listen for when their names were called. Sasuke sighed and folded his hands in front of his mouth, this wasn't good. He was one of the strongest in the class; as was his cousin Netsui, so that meant they probably wouldn't be put on a team. Well there went his one chance at being comfortable with his new team. Now he would actually have to speak the people he normally wouldn't, and the kunoichi would probably be a fangirl. Sasuke shuddered at the thought.

 “Team 7: Uzumaki Naruto...” Iruka said and the blonde boy perked up. This was his team, Naruto could only hope that they wouldn't hold him back or anything, since he was a kickass ninja! “Hyuuga Hinata...” The shy little heiress almost fainted then and there. Her wish had been granted, she was on the team with Naruto-kun! “and Uchiha Sasuke.”

 Sakura and Ino stared at the sensei with open mouths, they had been so sure that they would be the ones on Sasuke's team! It was almost fool proof, after all they were both the smartest in the class... in their own opinions. What was worse, they really couldn't begrudge Hinata for being on Sasuke's team. She was probably the only girl that wasn't a fangirl of Sasuke's. She probably didn't like any boy!

 Iruka continued, not even paying attention to the drama unfolding in front of him, “Next Team 8: Haruno Sakura... Inuzuka Kiba... and Aburame Shino,” Sakura paled at the thought of being on a team with the rowdy dog boy and the creepy bug boy. Still that wasn't as bad as being on the team with Naruto! At least she lucked out on that. Sensei just continued ripping apart dreams and making some of them come true, “Now Team 10: Yamanaka Ino... Nara Shikamaru... and Akimichi Chouji.” Ino nearly fainted. She was on a team with the laziest genin in the class and the fattest?! How did she end up with such weirdos?!

 Before Iruka could continue, Naruto stood up with an air of indignity, “Iruka-sensei! Why does someone as powerful as me have to be on a team with a slug like Sasuke?!” Sakura glared at him, fire burning in her green eyes, but Iruka spoke before Naruto Beat-down Two could commence.

 “Because Sasuke has the highest scores in all the graduating students. Naruto... you had the worst scores,” Iruka said with no mercy towards his surrogate little brother. The whole class, mostly Sasuke fangirls and a few Naruto-haters, laughed loudly at the blonde. “To be a balanced team,” Iruka continued over the laughing kids, cutting their mirth off quickly, “we put the best student with the worst student.”

 Naruto growled while Sasuke looked coolly out the window. Mikoto might kill him later, but Sasuke couldn't help but say, “Just make sure you don't get in my way, loser.” Oh yeah, Kaa-chan was definitely going to murder Sasuke. She couldn't stand her children saying anything mean about Naruto. Though... Mikoto never gave a reason why.

 “Hey what did you say?!”

 “Hard of hearing?” Sasuke retorted, slightly amused and the whole class burst out laughing again. Sakura tried to come to Sasuke's defense, but Iruka-sensei cleared his throat and ended all mischief.

 As the laughter slowly dwindled down, Iruka informed the new genin, “After lunch, you'll meet your new jounin teachers. Until then, class dismiss-”

 Wham!

 vvv Normal POV vvv

 Everyone whirled around when I slammed the classroom door open. Even Iruka, who should have been able to sense my chakra signatures, looked surprised. I still had a few minutes before my life officially became a living hell, maybe I should pull a classic Obito and screw with the minds of the impressionable brats, which included Iruka even though he was older than me. Without hesitation I started making jounin level hand signals telling the members of Team 7 to meet me on the roof.

 No one moved. I clicked my tongue in annoyance.

 “Uh... Uchiha-san... may I help you?” Iruka said hesitantly. He didn't seem to know who I was, otherwise he'd be a lot more fearful to have one of the two hot headed Uchiha in his classroom. Still he knew enough to know that having an Uchiha in the room was enough to exercise caution. Being genin teammates with Shisui must have taught him that. Even an Uchiha as goofy as Shisui could still be unpredictable. I almost grinned, but didn't to keep my emotionless expression in check.

 I rolled my eyes instead, ��Honestly, are you all so stupid that you don't know a single jounin hand sign?” I asked, the contempt in my voice wasn't forced.

 The Kyuubi brat took offense to that of course, “Hey! I'm not an idiot, I'm going to be Hokage someday, ya know!” I nearly laughed at that and mentally added yet another name to the list of Hokage wannabes. First Minato-san, though I didn't mind Nii-san's sensei being Hokage, then Obito, for a while Shisui had the dream too–before the drama of the failed Uchiha coup d'état–and now the Kyuubi brat.

 Iruka was sweatdropping, “Er, Uchiha-san, they're only genin. They shouldn't have to-” He tried to explain.

 My eyes cut to the chunnin and he stopped talking, “I knew half the sign book by the time I graduated, and I became a genin at the age of nine. That's no excuse.” So I was bragging, so what? After growing up with a braggart crybaby for a brother, I was surprised I wasn't bragging more often then I actually did, which was still rare. Of course, my knowledge of hand signs probably came from a certain emotionally stunted silver haired ninja robot; but I wasn't going to tell anyone that.

 Iruka tried to speak up, but he was silenced each time I pointed out why this graduating class was lesser than most classes in the past. It was almost scary how wimpy these kids were compared to past genin. Iruka was looking more and more flustered while the brats shifted uncomfortably in their seats.

 Waving a hand, I dismissed the argument, “Whatever. Team 7 is to report to the roof, now. You're training begins.”

 The three genin soon to be under my thumb paled, “B-but... what about lunch?” Naruto asked, tears starting to prick his bright blue eyes. My eyebrows pinched together in a frown, why did I get the feeling that food and this kid was going to be a major problem?

 “I'm your jounin sensei. What I say goes... and I say get your asses up to the roof now or suffer.” I started to turn away, but not before I noticed that the three Uchiha genin in the room were slumping down in their seats, as if ashamed to be associated with me.

 Disrespect towards a hungover hot tempered Uchiha meant someone had a death wish.

 “SIT UP STRAIGHT YOU UCHIHA HEATHENS! WHAT, WERE YOU RAISED IN A BARN?!” I roared and got the extreme satisfaction of not only seeing the three dark haired kids pop back up, but everyone, including Iruka, stiffen at the command. “Now Team 7, you've got thirty seconds to get your worthless asses on the roof or I fail the lot of you.” I said more calmly, probably mentally scaring a lot of the brats. I wondered if Iruka was going to look into getting me committed to a jounin sanity test.

 As I shunshined out of the room and onto the roof, I smirked. If I was going to make this any more bearable, a few more required sanity test shouldn't be too much of a consequence.

 “Twenty-eight seconds, you're cutting it close.” I said mildly when the door to the academy roof burst open and my three precious little genin came tumbling out. For having ran up four flights of stairs in 28 seconds, I was slightly impressed that none of them were winded. But then Sasuke and the Hyuuga were clan kids and were already conditioned for harsher training exercises, and Naruto had run from many shinobi in the past during his pranks it was no surprise that he had stamina as well.

 I wordlessly motioned for them to take a seat, and spoke as they were flopping down on the ground, well Naruto flopped the other two sat down more gracefully. “Alright, since we're stuck together, tell me a little about yourselves. Name, likes, dislikes, hobbies, dreams... crap like that.” I said dismissively, not even bothering to look at the three brats.

 The Hyuuga heiress raised her hand timidly. I raised an eyebrow at her juvenile behavior and rolled my eyes, making her blush even more than she already was. Exasperated I called on her and the shy Hyuuga stuttered out, “W-wi-will you g-g-go first s-s-s-sen-sensei?” I narrowed my eyes a fraction, first thing I was training her in was speech.

 “Fine. My name is Uchiha Yanagi, and yes I am related to Sasuke. I'm his cousin, as much as I don't want to be,” I added when I saw Naruto's confused face. “I like my Police Force patrol, which I was forced to retire from. I dislike stuttering timid kids,” Hinata's face lit up like a thermometer, “overly annoying blondes,” Naruto was too dumb to get the reverence towards him. I really shouldn't be that surprised, “younger family members... just kids in general.” Sasuke's dark eyes narrowed into an almost glare. I was tempted to return it with a full Uchiha Glare, but I didn't want to give him a heart attack.

 His family would kill me.

 “I also don't like my older brother or Uchiha Shisui, the clan in general, being a jounin sensei... and many other things. My hobbies... I have an indefinite amount of hobbies and none are your business. My dream is to get out of this hell that my clan leader forced me in and get back to my patrol.” Sasuke looked like he wanted to question me about my dislike for the clan, but I was already pointing at Hinata, “Stuttering kid, go.”

 Of course she turned an unhealthy shade of red. I was beginning to wonder if there was any blood left in her body or if it was all showing in her face. “M-m-my name is Hy-Hyuuga H-H-Hinata. I like... m-my f-fa-family a-and...” she got even brighter, “cinnamon rolls!” She finished in a squeaky tone. I raised an eyebrow at that, obviously she had been about to say something else. “I-I-I... don't real-really d-dis-dislike a-a-any-anything. My ho-hob-hobby i-i-is p-pres-pressing fl-flowers. And m-my d-d-d-dream is t-t-t-to-to be a g-gre-great n-nin-ninja!” I was almost tempted to make a fake snoring sound. How boring can a brat get?

 I was definitely signing her up for a speech therapist first thing in the morning. Even if she was a Hyuuga, this girl was my only semblance to sanity. Or she would be if I could cure her of that nasty stutter. I pressed my left fingers to my forehead as I pointed to the Kyuubi brat with my right hand, “Go.”

 “ALRIGHT!” The blonde haired idiots said and started moving his headband up and down like a weirdo, “I'm Uzumaki Naruto! I like instant ramen in a cup, and I really like the ramen Iruka-sensei gave me. But I hate the three minutes I have to wait for the ramen to cook. My hobby is eating different kinds of ramen and comparing them. And my future dream is... to be the greatest Hokage! That way everyone will start respecting me!”

 I couldn't help it, I facepalmed. This kid blabbed about nothing but ramen and then suddenly drops a bomb like wanting to be the next Hokage?! And I thought Obito was bad. I made a mental note to never introduce the two if I could help it. They would drive me over the edge if they started talking. Sighing, I waved a hand towards my relative, “Go, Uchiha brat.”

 Sasuke was sitting in his cool pose, where he got it from I would never know. Itachi and Shisui weren’t the ones to teach him, I knew that much! He glared at the name I gave him, “My name is Uchiha Sasuke. I don't particularly like or dislike anything.” I bet any fangirls hanging around the area were sobbing by now. A small joy to me. “My hobbies include walking and training with my Aniki. I don't have a dream, because I will make it into a reality. I'm going to become strong enough to beat my brother and be the strongest Uchiha in the clan.” Sasuke's eyes staring at me in an open challenge.

 I laughed out right and nearly fell off the railing, “Oh that's rich! Someone is delusional!” I shrieked. All three poor little genin looked confused, with just a smidgen of indignity on Sasuke's part. “Sorry, idiot, but I don't think your dream will become a 'reality.'”

 My younger cousin frowned, “How so?” He growled. Apparently someone didn't like being teased.

 Leaning forward I crossed my arms over my chest, “Simply because Itachi-san isn't the strongest Uchiha in the clan.” Boy I wish I had a camera to snap a picture of Sasuke's expression. I could totally use it as more blackmail.

 “T-t-then w-w-who is?” Hinata asked for Sasuke, since he was still shell shocked that his Nii-san wasn't the strongest in our clan, as he clearly believed. I wondered if Itachi was the one who put the idea in his head, or if it was simply idol worship.

 “Shisui.”

 Sasuke actually sputtered, “What?! You're telling me that goofball is the strongest?” The poor boy asked incredulous. I laughed again, even though Sasuke practically grew up around some atypical Uchiha like my brother and Shisui, he was still a typical arrogant ass. So it was ten times more funny when his facade cracked.

 I sneered at the still disbelieving boy, “Believe it or not, yes. Itachi is better in skill, true, but Shisui has something going for him that no other living person has.” I said in a mysterious tone. All three genin leaned in, obviously wanting to know the secret. Even Hinata was looking eager about it. I smirked and shook my head, “Nuh-uh. That's a secret that only people with the Uchiha Kekke Genkai can know.”

 Naruto looked confused, “What's a Kekke Genkai?” He mumbled under his breath.

 I was going to give him a sarcastic answer, but Sasuke ignored the question to say, “I will have the Kekke Genkai one day, so you can tell me.”

 I held up a finger, “Ah-ah-ah... Let me correct that previous statement: Only people who have activated the Kekke Genkai and can use it effectively in battle can know the secret.” Sasuke pouted but didn't push the subject. At least he knew the requirements to unlock his Sharingan, otherwise I have no doubt he would be standing up and shouting that he would unlock the Sharingan no matter what, just to learn the secret behind Shisui's reputation.

 Oh wait... that's Naruto shtick.

 Speaking of the Kyuubi brat, he was standing and shouting, “What is a Kekke Genkai?! And how can I get one?”

 I scoffed, “Idiot, a Kekke Genkai is something you're born with. It's a bloodline trait that you can only get from your family, a tool to help you fight as a ninja basically.” I said, dumbing it down so that a two year old, or Naruto in this case, could understand. Before any of the brats could say anything else, I pushed off the rail, “Okay. We have our first mission tomorrow, be at training ground six at five a.m. and bring your ninja gear. Bye, brats.” Before any of them could respond, I shunshined away, ignoring Naruto's shouts to come back and explain myself.

 He should really learn that Uchiha never explain themselves, especially since he had Sasuke and me on the team.

  Chapter 4: The Test

“YANAGIIIIIIIIIII!!!” Obito screeched. I sighed irritatedly and looked up from my book just as my brother came barreling through my bedroom door, a bath towel wrapped around his waist and sopping wet.

 I sighed again, this time in exasperation, and threw my left arm over my eyes, pointing towards my personal bathroom with my right hand, “Underneath the counter.” I said dully. It was pretty bad that this was a common occurrence in our house. Both Obito and I had come to an agreement that each of us were in charge of our own expenses and that the only time we pooled our money together on was if it influenced both of us. That being said, my brother had a nasty habit of forgetting to buy more shampoo.

 Nii-san had just better thank his lucky stars that I didn't like girly scented hair products.

 Still I got a nice deal out of it. Every time Obito forgot about shampoo, he bought me a bag of candy. One thing the both of us had in common was our unnatural sweet tooth. Most of the Uchiha clan had a sweet tooth as well, but no where near as bad as mine and Obito's. Candy was a part of my brother's and my necessities whereas it was only a treat to the rest of the clan.

 While my brother cursed and rummaged around in my bathroom I called out, “I'm leaving early in the morning.”

 Nii-san's voice was suddenly clearer, meaning he probably had come back into my room, “Why? You're not going on a date are you?”

 If my eyes were open I would have rolled them. Only my brother would automatically assume that I was going on a date. I bet he wondered if I was going on a date every time I stepped outside the house. “No. I have to teach teamwork to my group of genin brats. You know how that is.”

 “You failed your test if I remember.” Obito teased. It was true, I had gotten so irritated with the dead last of my graduating class, who had been on my team, that I actually punched his lights out even though our sensei told us not to attack each other. I was sent back to the academy immediately and had to wait another year. Really it was the idiot's fault, he shouldn't have assumed that since I was eight and he was twelve that he knew more than me. Because of that jerk, I had to graduate at the age of nine.

 “And you are probably the only one who passed with flying colors. It's rare not to fail the first time you know...” I growled back at Obito.

 The one eyed Uchiha snorted, “You're just hoping that those kids fail, aren't you?”

 “Would you go finish your shower?”

 “You're just proving my point by changing the subject~!” Obito ran out of my room, his footsteps fast and light, before I could even cock my elbow back to launch my book at him. Damn it, I hated it when he had the sense to get the hell out of dodge!

 I sighed and marked my place before setting the book down on my nightstand. I would have to get up early tomorrow morning so I could train a few brats, which meant my late night habits were probably gone for good. Pouting slightly I turned off my lamp and rolled over, pulling my covers up to my chin.

 Just as I was beginning to drift off, I heard a crash followed immediately by, “DAMN IT! YANAGI GET IN HERE AND CLEAN THIS MESS UP!”

 I glared at the wall my bed was pushed up against. I seemed to forget that my night owl tendencies weren't of my own making. My brother, curse him, forced me into the habit. I threw back the covers and yelled back, “Alright you big crybaby! If you weren't so incompetent, I'd make you do it yourself!”

 I'm sure the rest of the Uchiha clan could hear us yelling at each other all night long.

 vvv

 The moment five a.m. hit, my three precious genin showed up. Hinata and Naruto stumbling with weariness while Sasuke was wide awake and alert. Point for the Uchiha. I glanced at them, “You're on time.” I said mildly. Naruto grinned despite his exhaustion, he seemed pleased at the compliment. I bookmarked the book I was reading and stood from my place on the ground, tucking away the blue bound slim book. “Which means... you're late.”

 Cue the confusion on all three of the preteens' faces. It made my day.

 I held up a finger, “First rule of ninja: Timing is everything. When out on the field, an enemy might set a trap for you. If you were to arrive before he does, then you have the advantage. Same goes for tardiness, being late will lower your enemy's caution and thus give you an opening.” I could not believe I was lecturing these brats, that was the Hokage's job! I glared down at the genin in front of me, letting a little killer intent slip through so they were frightened enough, “But if you ever alive late while in my team I'll skin you alive! Understood?”

 “H-hai, sensei!” All three of the brats stuttered out, balking under my gaze. I felt proud that even someone like Sasuke was effected. But then, I had heard that he was more of a softie than his brother.

 Straightening I smiled, no doubt scaring them out of their wits with my sudden change in mood, perfect. “Okay, then we'll start the mission.”

 Naruto dropped his scared expression like a hot tin plate and immediately leapt forward, “What's the mission? What's the mission? What? What? What?” He was actually bouncing around in his excitement. When he got too close to me I pressed my fingers to his forehead like Obito did to me and sent him to the ground.

 “You're going on a treasure hunt.”

 “Really?! That is so cool! Is it some long lost diamond? Or a cursed ruby? Oh! Did a princess lose her crown and we're having to look for it?!” Did this kid never shut up? I made a mental note to grab Obito's numbing salve. Maybe it would numb the Kyuubi brat's mouth enough that he couldn't talk.

 I poked him in the forehead again, “No... you don't get to know what the object is, that's the point of the exercise. Here are some clues you can use to figure the object out.” I passed out plain white envelopes to the three genin. Before they could rip into them and start the 'mission' I continued, “you must find the object by noon or you get no lunch. Also, the last person to find the object will fail and goes back to the academy.”

 More confusion, and some despair from Naruto about the time limit, “W-w-w-what do y-y-yo-you m-me-mean, s-s-s-sen-sensei?” Hinata stuttered out.

 Naruto was squinting his eyes up again, “Yeah? What's this about failing?! We're already genin, you can't send us back to the Academy!” He moved his Haiti-ate to reflect the rising sun to prove his point.

 I gave him a cruel smile, “Oh can't I? Let me explain then. Of the twenty-seven graduates, only nine will be accepted as genin. The other eighteen will not make the cut and be sent back to the academy. Your chance at staying genin is at least thirty-four percent, and it's all up to me.” Of all their reactions, Naruto's was the best. His eyes bugged out in surprise and his mouth dropped to the ground. Hinata just started swaying where she sat, as if she were about to faint, and Sasuke glared at me.

 Sasuke was the smart one and asked, “Alright, how do we convince you to let us stay genin?”

 “By passing this little mission I'm telling you about. Now stop interrupting or I'll fail you anyway.” I couldn't really do that, but the genin didn't know that. Until they actually passed my test, if they did, I was going to milk the threat of sending them back to the academy for all its worth.

 I waited for a moment to see if they would say anything, and when they didn't I continued, “You can fight each other for the clues, since all three are needed to figure out just what the item is. Also, once you figure out the object, you need to find it next and present it to me. And I'll be nice since you are just kids,” They relaxed slightly, or more than slightly in Naruto's case, “if you best me in battle, I'll tell you what and where the object is,” Cue the tensing back up again. “Remember: you have to figure out the clues and find the object all before noon or I will tie you to something and eat lunch in front of you. Ready... begin!”

 As I predicted the blonde idiot came charging after me, his fist raised with a pathetic battle cry. I rolled my eyes and kicked him away easily, sending him crashing into a tree. Hinata and Sasuke had already leapt out of sight, probably to figure out the clues on their own. I knew that Sasuke was too stubborn to figure out the object of the test, he would want to find the object with only the one clue I had given him just to prove himself. Hinata... she was a wild card. The Hyuuga heiress could either figure out the point of this exercise or she could be like Sasuke and try to accomplish things on her own.

 Naruto however... I had thrown in the option to attack me solely for his benefit. I knew the knucklehead would attack me, his overconfidence would get in his way. Besides I had entertainment while I waited for lunch.

 vvv 3rd Person~ Sasuke vvv

 When he was far enough away from Yanagi-sensei, Sasuke halted and pulled the envelope out of his shorts' pocket. He frowned down at the slip of paper.

 Tis erhe, uoy othrebhos-me diiot. Htis odec si oto arhd rfo yuo.

 The message was just a bunch of scrabbled letters. Clearly Yanagi-sensei knew that Sasuke would be able to decode the message, it was a simple scramble code that any three year old could figure out. Quickly the midnight blue haired Uchiha set to work. The hyphen in the fourth word threw him for a moment, until he realized Yanagi had probably put it in there for that purpose. What the message actually said made Sasuke pissed.

 Sit here, you botherso-me idiot. This code is too hard for you.

 What kind of clue was that?!

 vvv 3rd Person~ Hinata vvv

 When Yanagi-sensei said begin, Hinata immediately dove for cover in the underbrush of the forest surrounding the training ground. She watched in fascination as Naruto-kun lashed out at their sensei bravely, and then in horror when Yanagi-sensei kicked the blonde boy away with ease. Hinata had contemplated in helping Naruto, but she was too weak to stand up to a jounin, especially one who was so cruel.

 Instead the timid little Hyuuga heiress pulled out her clue and read over it.

 Tall and straight like a tree am I, but no leaves or fruit I bear.

 Hinata blinked. It was a riddle, and a hard one by the looks of it. Hinata's clue could mean anything! Anything that was tall and not a tree, that is. Maybe if she got the other clues it would help, but she didn't want to attack her teammates! Hinata wouldn't last a second against Sasuke, and she wasn't going to attack Naruto for no reason.

 The pale eyed girl glanced back at her sensei as the Uchiha woman once again threw Naruto over her shoulder and laughed as he struggled to his feet. There was something missing, something that Yanagi had said. 'The last person to find the object is failed and goes back to the academy.' Hinata frowned. If that were true, it would be better for all three of them could find the object together so no one was first or last.

 Hinata gasped as realization dawned on her, that was what Yanagi wanted! Sensei was pitting the team against each other purposefully to see if anyone could figure out that the point was teamwork! That was why Team 7 was allowed to attack each other, to push the thoughts of teamwork further away. Yanagi had said that they would need all three clues to figure out the object they were trying to find, it was the only hint that Yanagi-sensei had given them.

 Now if Hinata could only work up her courage to tell her findings to the two boys in her team. The Hyuuga girl whimpered a little at the thought. They could try and attack her before she even had a chance to explain.

 vvv Normal POV vvv

 I smiled when I heard Hinata gasp. So she must have figured it out. My respect meter inched up a few pegs for the girl. She didn't have any male ego or pride to get in her way of thoughts. Still, what she would do now, that was the question.

 “YAAAAAAAAA!! Don't get distracted, sensei!” Naruto yelled multiple times from his shadow clone jutsu. I rolled my eyes and made a few quick hand signs with precision. I took a deep breath then blew between my thumb and forefinger. With a roar, the great fireball jutsu took out all shadow clones in front of it.

 I felt something hard connect with my back and I stumbled forward with a grunt, losing my concentration on the fireball. Cursing I started to turn my head to look over my shoulder at the little brat. He caught me off guard! Not even Obito in his pranking moods could accomplish that feat. Angry, I reached up and pulled the Kyuubi brat off of my back and flung him across the clearing.

 Naruto somehow was joyful in spite of being thrown a great distance, “Ha! I got a hit! Now tell me what the object is and where it is!”

 “No.”

 “WHAAAAT?! You said you would if I won!” Naruto shrieked.

 I glared at him, “I said if you beat me in battle. You only landed a hit,” I slowly started walking towards him. It stung my pride, both as an Uchiha and jounin, that some little blonde haired brat was able to land a hit on me. I wasn't really known for taking blows and turning the other cheek. Towering over the little genin I spoke, my tone, which had been amused until now, had a sharp cutting edge to it, “you rush in blindly and attack without strategy. That blow was a lucky shot, and it won't happen again.”

 Turning away from the kid I waved a hand, “Now, stop wasting my time and try to figure out that clue of yours.” I shunshined away before Naruto could attack, as I knew he probably would.

 vvv 3rd Person~ Naruto vvv

 Damn that frizzy haired lady! Naruto pouted and crossed his arms, it wasn't fair! He should have won, but his sensei was too stubborn to admit her defeat at his hands. Naruto could tell by the look on her face that the blow had taken her by surprise. If she hadn't reacted as quickly as she did, Frizzy-sensei would be on the ground!

 Naruto yanked out the clue from his jumpsuit and ripped the envelope open. Maybe the clue was super easy and he could guess it immediately. The look on Yanagi-sensei's face would be hilarious when Naruto showed up with the object before lunch. Naruto chuckled to himself as he imagined the expression of complete surprise and awe.

 My eyes glow red when I am mad or threatened.

 …What?! What did that mean? Was this some kind of insane creepy riddle that he had to figure out?! Was the object a vampire or something? Naruto had heard that some vampire's eyes glowed red when they drank blood. Naruto began to panic a little, he didn't want to fight a vampire! He had hard enough time beating Yanagi-sensei.

 RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!

 Naruto was torn between feeling relief and despair that the alarm had gone off. Now he wouldn't have to face the vampire, but–his stomach growled and Naruto groaned, remembering that Yanagi said no lunch for the person who hadn't found the vampire.

 vvv Normal POV vvv

 “The three of you are a... Bunch. Of. Idiots!” I shouted when all three genin lined up at the starting point. I was crying on the inside at the stupidity of the team I had been saddled with. Why was the only one to figure out the mission the shyest? I hadn't even done the bell test, which was probably the hardest teamwork exercise, like Kakashi-san usually did. In fact, I had given Team 7 the easiest and they still failed!

 Hinata was the only one looking abash. Naruto looked miserable, probably had something to do with the sounds his stomach was making, and Sasuke glared at me hotly. If I wasn't in such a foul mood I would have asked if he liked my clue to him.

 I paced in front of them, “I practically told you this treasure hunt was a teamwork exercise, but you all are too stupid to see that!” I spun to face the team and zeroed in on Sasuke's petulant face, “Sasuke, you were too busy trying to succeed with your one clue you seemed to forget that you needed all three of the clues to find the object.”

 Naruto got over his starving state to laugh at the slightly pouting Sasuke, “Ha ha! Teme you're so stupid!”

 I glared at the blond, “You, Naruto, are probably the stupidest of the three.” I snapped.

 “Hey!”

 “You were too busy trying to fight me to even pay attention to your clue. Had I not practically ordered you to, I doubt you would have even looked at it! I am a jounin, you dumbass, I cannot be taken down so easily by a genin. You're actions were lazy and stupid.” I growled menacingly. Naruto had the smarts not to say anything. I glared at the team as a whole again, “Hinata was the only one to figure out that this exercise was teamwork driven, but she was too much of a coward to tell you two idiots!”

 Naruto leapt to his feet, “Hey! Don't call Hinata a coward! She's just shy.” The blonde defended. I noticed that Hinata's blush turned darker almost immediately. I spared her a curious glance despite my anger, such a strange child she was. Not only was Hinata extremely shy and weak for a clan kid, but she also seemed to have a major crush on Naruto of all people.

 Still, I was glad I didn't have a squealing Sasuke fangirl on my hands.

 While distracted with my thoughts, Sasuke stood up to, “You should not pick on the shyest of the team simply because she poses no resistance to you.” He said, rather calmly, but I could tell by the way his dark eyes glittered that my little cousin was about as pissed as Naruto. Hinata looked between her two teammates, seemingly surprised that she was being defended by the both of them.

 I raised a cool eyebrow, “Oh? Then what should I do, let her grow up as a shy coward perhaps?” I asked mildly.

 Sasuke gave me a rather impressive version of the infamous Uchiha Glare, “If anyone is the coward it's you. You spend your time picking on twelve year olds.”

 “Well I can't really yell at your father or the Hokage, Duckass, so deal with it.” I said dully. The three genin looked a little confused since they didn't know why exactly I was forced into this. Nor would they ever unless the case called for it. The near disaster that almost ended in the massacre of the Uchiha clan had been classified as an S-level secret, along with Naruto's jinchuuriki status. None of the younger generation, not even those of the Uchiha clan, knew about our planned revolt or that Itachi and Shisui stopped it. They didn't know that this whole team was an experiment to see if an Uchiha could effectively teach Konoha genin.

 “Whatever. You still are all idiots for not figuring out that teamwork is important or doing nothing about it.” I said, waving a hand to dismiss the subject. I really didn't need to go into that, or I'd be killed for spilling the beans.

 Naruto titled his head, “Why is teamwork important? Wouldn't people just hold you back?”

 I couldn't help but reach over and swat the brat upside the head. After listening to his protests for half a second, I did the same thing to shut him up and spoke before he could start yelling at me in renewal, “Teamwork is essential to everything. They don't hold you back, a team is family. Had you got together and shared the clues, you would have easily figured out the object.”

 “W-w-w-w-w-w-wha-what i-is-is the o-o-o-obj-obj-ect?” Oh great, yelling at Hinata seemed to make her stutter more. Just my luck.

 I smiled for the first time since the timer went off. “I'm the object.” Cue the three stunned faces.

 My little cousin frowned, “How does my clue point towards you? You just insulted me.” I was surprised that Naruto hadn't laughed, but one look at the blonde genin revealed that he was paling at a rabid pace. Soon the Kyuubi brat would be as pale as Sasuke and Hinata.

 “ 'Sit here, you bothersome idiot. This code is too hard for you.' That is the clue, correct?” I asked. Sasuke nodded, suspicion leaking into his eyes. I gave him a close eyed grin, “Did you happen to notice that 'bothersome' had a hyphen?” Another nod of confirmation. “I told you the code was too hard, and I was right.”

 “There was no code.” Sasuke said stubbornly.

 Shaking my head I held up a finger, “Technically there was, but I knew that–as an Uchiha–you would over think things. If you had simply looked at where the hyphen was placed you would notice that 'me' had been separated from 'bothersome'. Really, the answer if quite obviously stupid when you think about it.”

 Sasuke actually facepalmed and I genuinely laughed when he did so.

 I turned my attention back on the team as an whole and held up one finger, “I already explained Sasuke's clue. It was the most obvious, too obvious to tell the truth.” I held up a second finger, “Hinata's clue was a little more difficult. 'Tall and straight like a tree am I, but no leaves or fruit I bear.' I am extremely tall for a woman. Naruto's clue-”

 “Are you a vampire?!” Naruto chose then to shout, his eyes wide as he pointed an accusing finger at me. I blinked at him as did Sasuke and even Hinata.

 “...What?”

 “You're a vampire, aren't you! Are you going to drink out blood?!”

 “And where did you get that silly notion?”

 “The clue!”

 “What?!” I stared at the blonde kid. Granted his clue was a little creepy but still, how did he get vampire out of glowing red eyes?

 Naruto seemed to suddenly notice the looks his teammates were giving him. A blush marred his cheeks lightly and he ducked his head, “The uh... the clue. It said that your eyes glow red...” He mumbled.

 The younger Uchiha actually took pity on Naruto, “That's the Uchiha Kekke Genkai. Our eyes turn red sometimes to help in battle.” Sasuke explained. I was glad he didn't go in depth. There had once been a time when the sharingan was a clan secret, but after so many years it just became common knowledge. Still, the Uchiha didn't like explaining their Kekke Genkai unless absolutely necessary, that way there was less people trying to steal it.

 “...oh...”

 I sighed and shook my head, “You need to stop watching whatever it is you watch...” I said sadly. Then I grinned, this one full of evil intent. The genin hunkered down, obviously knowing that we were about to return to the failed exercise, “now... we're going to try this again, but it won't be as easy as the treasure hunt.” I said and waited for one of the genin to ask what I was planning for them to do.

 Finally Sasuke was the one who dared to ask, “What is it?”

 My grin grew wider, “You're going to prank my brother, Uchiha Obito.”

 I was very pleased the way Sasuke's skin turned a unhealthy pale color. If I thought he was pasty before, it was nothing compared to this. I was nearly shivering in excitement. Maybe having a genin team was fun after all, if I could get away with pranking the Uchiha Prankster.

  Chapter 5: Why Never to Prank Obito

“Who put you in charge, Teme?” Naruto whined the minute Sasuke tried to start planning their prank on his cousin.

 Sasuke glared at the blonde, “Obito is my cousin, I know his reputation.” The Uchiha boy said simply.

 “Ha! But I'm a prankster, so I should know what to do!”

 “You have no idea what Obito is capable of.”

 “So what?! Doesn't make you the leader!”

 I sighed exasperated and pinched the bridge of my nose. I should have known that the two boys were going to develop some kind of rivalry. Every team did it, even myself and one of my genin teammates had one. Although it was my teammate who was under the delusion that we had a rivalry, I had no interest in being a rival to anyone– especially not a civilian brat. I simply played along for the entertainment of watching the guy fail time and time again.

 If I remember correctly he retired from his shinobi career after losing the Chuunin Exams to me.

 As my two students continued to argue who should be the leader, I glanced down at the fidgeting Hyuuga heiress standing beside me, almost behind me. I guess it was time for some 'sensei-student' bonding time. “Hinata.” The girl looked up at me, her pale eyes wide with obvious fright. Mentally I sighed, maybe calling her a coward earlier was a bit much.

 “Y-y-yes, sensei?” She managed to stutter out, pressing her two forefingers together in a nervous habit.

 I swatted her hands down, “Stop that. First rule of being a kunoichi: don't show nervousness.” Hinata gripped her hands together behind her back, like a small child being scolded and nodded in a jerking manner, “Second, I'm putting you on teamwork duty. While the three of you are out pranking my brother, you're going to keep the boys from killing each other. Consider it your first lesson in asserting yourself.”

 Hinata paled and she looked down at her feet. I could see that she was gripping her hands tightly, as if she were trying to talk her courage up. I sighed and tapped the bottom of her chin, bringing her gaze to meet mine.

 “You will get over this nervous habit of yours, Hyuuga. Shy little kids don't make it in this career.” I said sternly. Hinata nodded quickly and I rolled my eyes. I was starting to wonder if she was only nodding so I would stop talking to her. “You can start by breaking those two up now.” I said and pointed at Sasuke and Naruto as they got in each other face.

 Hesitatingly Hinata shuffled towards the two fighting boys. I watched her closely as she neared Naruto and Sasuke, analyzing her ever move. “E-excuse me...” She said in a whisper. Of course the boys didn't hear her over their own loud voices.

 I groaned. Seems this was going to be harder than I thought. Putting my two index fingers to my mouth, I whistled loudly, making everyone in the vicinity cringe. My genin looked at me and I glared back, “Alright, pansies, if there's going to be that much of a fuss over team leader, I'll pick. Hinata is the leader,” Oh I would enjoy the looks of surprise from the three preteens for years to come. Still, before I could visualize those expressions again, I had to lay down ground rules, “She's also the person who's going to make sure you two don't fight. For this 'mission' to go successfully, you have to work together and be quiet! Any questions?” I didn't give them enough time to ask before I was continuing, “Good. Now when you're done, you can go home.”

 “How do you know if we pass or not?” Sasuke asked, a frown pulling his thin eyebrows low over his eyes.

 Grinning evilly, I tapped him on his Haiti-ate, “Trust me, I'll know. Good luck~! You're going to need it.”

 vvv 3rd Person~ Sasuke vvv

 The second Yanagi-sensei disappeared, Sasuke turned to his two teammates, “We need a plan of attack. Cousin Obito won't be an easy target.” He said. There was no way Sasuke would be able to retain his cool if he didn't think of this stupid childish test as an actual mission.

 Naruto glared at him, “Hey! Hinata is the leader! Stop trying to usurp her command!” Hinata blushed and looked away quickly, her whole face red. Sasuke rolled his eyes, it took him by surprise that the dobe hadn't caught on to Hinata's affections by now.

 “I'm surprise you even know what 'usurp' means.” Sasuke commented drily. Naruto pulled a hateful face, the corner of his mouth twitching in frustration.

 “G-guys! Please d-don-don't fight!” Hinata interrupted before Naruto could respond. Both boys looked away with equal sour looks. There were a few minutes of silence before Hinata spoke again, “S-S-Sas-Sasuke-san. W-what w-w-w-were you say-saying?”

 The Uchiha glanced at his female teammate, it wasn't often that any girl added the honorific -san to his name, most of the time it was -kun. Sasuke liked the change. Ignoring Naruto's pout, Sasuke explained his plan on pranking his older cousin.

 vvv Normal POV vvv

 “Yeah, so since I couldn't do the same test twice, I made them work on something completely different.” I said to Kakashi as we both sat in the shade of some random tree, boredly watching Asuma and his three new genin. We both had free time, since Kakashi already failed his team and mine were currently trying to impress me.

 Kakashi hummed as he read his favorite book of all time for the millionth time, “So what are they doing...?” He asked distractedly.

 “Pranking Obito.” I got a laugh when Kakashi nearly fell out of the tree branch he was lounging in. Quickly, too quickly for my liking, Kakashi managed to catch himself and prevent a blackmail worthy moment.

 “He's going to kill you.”

 “That's why I'm hanging out with you,” I said jokingly, “You love me too much to let my big bad brother murder me.”

 I only got a sigh from the Copy-nin. I knew what was going on in his mind. “You put up with me because I'm the only person in the universe who can get Obito to stop annoying you. Besides, I have years worth of blackmail on you.” I answered his unasked question.

 Kakashi gave me a dry look, “You're incorrigible.” He grumbled. I laughed at him. Of all people in Konoha, Kakashi was probably the only one I truly got along with. One could say that I saw Kakashi as another brother, only I liked this one more than my blood brother. I liked to think that he saw me as a little sister.

 He teased me like one.

 The white haired jounin leaned closer to me and gave me his famous eye-smile, “And I have plenty blackmail over you too.” He said cheerfully.

 Glaring I crossed my arms, “Shut up.” I grumbled, not wanting to talk anymore. I felt a finger poke my cheek and I whipped around to snap at it, but like always Kakashi pulled back before I could dig my teeth in his finger.

 “Your crush on me was so cute! Of all my fangirls, you were probably my favorite.” Kakashi teased.

 My glare intensified until I was giving him a full Uchiha Glare. Having been a teammate with a hothead like my brother and being Kakashi in general, of course he was immune to it. Damn man. “That was only a brief time, it was a phase I went through you idiot. Hero worship!” I defended myself hotly.

 Kakashi leaned back, satisfied that he had riled me up, and took his book out again, “Keep telling yourself that. Maybe you'll actually believe it one day.”

 I crossed my arms and slouched against the tree trunk, “I'm going to sell your Icha Icha novels, jerk.”

 “I keep them in a safe.”

 “What? You're not still mad that I burned your last series, are you?”

 “...yes...”

 “You should have listened to Obito then. He tried to warn you.” I said dismissively, shrugging as if burning his books were inevitable. Which, considering my undying hatred for the perverted novels, it kind of was inevitable.

 “Like I'd ever trust anything Obito would say.” Kakashi growled, probably remembering one of the many instances where trusting the Uchiha Prankster got Kakashi into trouble. I grinned mentally, remembering a few memories myself. Poor Kakashi had to learn what all Uchiha knew the hard way.

 “I'm pretty sure that when it comes to Icha Icha, Obito means every word he says.” I said drily. There were two things Kakashi and Obito had in common: their habit of tardiness and their creepy obsession with the Icha Icha series.

 Kakashi snorted and crossed his arms, the closest thing he'd ever get to pouting, “He also likes to spoil the new books.”

 I held up my hands as if to defend myself and screwed my eyes up, “I don't want to know anything that goes on in those smutty books of yours! You and my brother can keep your perverseness to yourselves!” I snapped.

 My brother figure glanced at me, his single visible eye full of mischief. Well crap, I just dug myself into a hole. Kakashi opened his mouth, or at least I assumed by the way his face mask moved, to speak but someone beat him to it.

 “Are you two going to distract my team all day or what?”

 Kakashi and I looked down from our perches to see Asuma standing at the base of the tree giving us a rather stern look, his arms crossed in front of his chest. Behind him, his three genin were watching us curiously. If I remember correctly, the blonde girl was one of Sasuke's more adamant fangirls, but I wasn't for sure. Kakashi only dipped his head in greeting and buried his nose in his dirty orange book.

 “Sorry, Asuma” I said, but my tone wasn't apologetic. Asuma may be more powerful and older than me, but I was still an Uchiha. Arrogance was a hereditary trait that my clan was born with. I didn't respect anyone unless they absolutely deserved it. Kakashi, without looking up from his book, swatted me in the back of my head.

 I glared at him, but before I could say anything Asuma spoke again, “Could you take your argument somewhere else?” Even though the Sarutobi had asked it as a question, both Kakashi and I knew it was an order.

 Without saying a word, Kakashi stood and threw me over his shoulder like he used to when I was a kid. “Hey! Let me go, you scarecrow!” I shouted in indignity, but of course he ignored me.

 vvv 3rd Person vvv

 “Shisui have you seen Yanagi?” An irritated voice asked. Both Itachi and Shisui turned around to face Obito. To their complete surprise he was covered head to toe in honey; stray coils of ninja wire still wrapped around random places of his body.

 Shisui blinked, “Uh... Obito-senpai? What happened to you?” The Uchiha with long eyelashes asked, shocked to see his former Konoha Police mentor so... gooey.

 Obito was too busy glaring past the two men at the third in their company, who was trying to act as casual as he could. Itachi and Shisui followed the older Uchiha's gaze to Sasuke. Itachi frowned a little, obviously making the connection between Obito's honeyed state and his little brother's poorly accomplished innocent expression. “Sasuke, did you do this?” The Uchiha Prodigy asked in a passive voice.

 Sasuke, who could never lie when around his brother, looked down guiltily. Everyone could practically feel Obito's killer intent spike. Itachi dropped his stoic facade to glare at his cousin, not liking the potential threat to his little brother.

 Shisui on the other hand was staring at Sasuke with his head tilted. He really couldn't understand why Sasuke would do something like that, especially when it was uncalled for. As far as Shisui knew, Obito and Sasuke had never talked except in passing. And any Uchiha would have to be insane to actually prank the Uchiha Prankster.

 “Where. Is. Yanagi?” Obito growled at Sasuke. Itachi twitched, obviously wanted to step between Obito and his brother, but refrained. Neither would appreciate his interference. And Itachi really didn't want to suffer through another prank of Obito's.

 He was still finding feathers in his room from all those damn chickens.

 Sasuke stared defiantly up at Obito, obviously not scared of the goofiest Uchiha. Shisui had to admit that the kid had guts. Obito was one hot tempered Uchiha, only bested by his younger sister Yanagi. Hell, when Yanagi was on a rampage even Shisui stayed well out of her warpath. That woman had no respect for anyone, not her brother and guardian, not her clan leader... there were times when Shisui doubted that even the Hokage received Yanagi's respect.

 “Kakashi, put me down damn it!”

 Well speak of the devil.

 Shisui grinned as Obito spun in his gooey glory to glare at Yanagi thrown over Kakashi's shoulder like a sack of potatoes. The young woman struggled even harder when she spied her brother, “You little traitor. I'm going to burn your whole house down now!”

 “Go right ahead, my books are in a fire proof safe.” Kakashi returned drily before dumping Yanagi on the ground right in front of her glaring brother. Yanagi crossed her arms and glared right back at him. Shisui smiled at the sight of the two siblings glaring, they were so different from Itachi and Sasuke.

 “I've got a perfectly good reason.” Yanagi said defensively before Obito could get a word in.

 “Oh I would love to hear this.” Her brother growled back.

 “My genin are idiots, but they're idiots who pass.”

 Itachi and Shisui exchanged slightly confused confused looks. They were both wondering the same thing, where in the world did Yanagi's genin team–Shisui didn't even know she had one–came into play with Sasuke pranking Obito?! Shisui caught Sasuke glaring hotly at Yanagi from behind Itachi and then it clicked.

 Shisui laughed, bringing all attention to him, “Was this your teamwork building exercise, Yagi?” He asked, highly amused. As he suspected, Yanagi immediately clammed up the moment she saw Shisui. He should have known that Yanagi would use the excuse of teaching her genin teamwork to prank her brother.

  Chapter 6 Shisui and D-ranks are Not Pleasant

“...”

 “...'Sup?”

 “...”

 “...”

 There was a quiet, slightly awkward, cough, “Do they do this a lot?” I heard Kurenai ask, her tone one of concern.

 My brother sighed beside me, “You have no idea...” He grumbled. Without looking I landed my elbow in his side, “OUCH! Yanagi, that hurts.” Obito yelled at me. Oh how I wanted to make a snappy comment; however a certain jerk sitting beside me, grinning devilishly, was preventing me from doing so. I settled for a dark look.

 Shisui's grin widened when I returned my glare to him, “Awww... I was hoping I'd catch you talking. I haven't heard your melodious voice in forever~” He teased. I just continued to glare at him. Shisui pouted and looked over my head at a now snickering Obito, “Obito-senpai, your imoto is being mean!”

 I went to punch Shisui, but Obito hooked a hand around my elbow, “No.” He said sternly. Obito always did like Shisui, so I was never allowed to hit him when my brother was around.

 I narrowed my eyes at the most skilled Uchiha, trying to tell him with my eyes how lucky he was that my brother was here to stop me from punching Shisui's lights out. Shisui seemed to get my message and ruffled my hair like when we were younger as he stood up, “See ya, Yagi!” The nickname set my teeth on edge and I would have hit him again, if Obito hadn't already guessed my intentions and wrapped an arm around my torso, keeping me in my seat. Shisui gave me another grin before bowing politely to the elite jounin sitting around the table, then he shunshined away like he was never there.

 Stickin' shunshin master...

 I crossed my arms, “Damn Uchiha... I hate him.” I growled when I couldn't feel his chakra anymore. Obito and Kakashi seemed to be the only ones amused by my silent treatment towards Shisui.

 “But I thought you said you didn't hate him, imoto.” Obito interjected.

 “I don't!”

 “You just said you did a minute ago.”

 “...”

 “What, are you giving me the silent treatment now?” Obito teased. I glared at him hotly, I hated older brothers; that I would readily admit to. Obito leaned closer, a grin similar to Shisui's on his face.

 My glare intensified as I leaned back, trying to put more personal space between us. My brother knew I hated people evading my personal space, and he used it to his advantage, “Outta my face or I'm going to steal your candy stash again.” I threatened. Like a spring, Obito was sitting straight again, sending me a dirty look. I grinned back at him, the tables had turned.

 Kurenai sighed, more used to Obito and my antics than my silent treatment towards Shisui, “Would you two stop?” She asked, her tone someone managing to stay between polite and exasperated. Only the Yuhi woman could accomplish such a tone.

 Kakashi scoffed from his corner of the booth, his eyes still on his smutty literature. At least Obito knew when to stop reading. “Getting those two to stop is like getting-”

 I butted in before he could finish, “Getting you to stop reading your porn?” I drawled. When Kakashi gave me a one eyed glare I grinned at him. Asuma and Kurenai tried to hide their chuckles while Obito didn't even bother. Kakashi slowly bookmarked his place and put the book away, still glaring at me.

 “I was going to say getting you to stop antagonizing your team.” Kakashi said in an irritated tone that he usually reserved for Obito when my brother was being particularly annoying.

 I scoffed, “They're a bunch of pansies, they get what they deserve.” It was a lame defense, but then again Fugaku hadn't really been thinking when he put me as Sasuke's sensei. It would be his fault if his youngest son was mentally scarred when I got through with him. “Besides,” I continued with my nose in the air, “the worst thing I have done was scare the shit out of that class when I yelled at those Uchiha brats.”

 Kurenai giggled, “Yes, I heard about that from Kiba. He said you reminded him of his mother.”

 “Shikamaru thinks you're very 'troublesome' too. Ino and Chouji looked a little shaken up about the whole thing.” Asuma added, “I can't imagine how your team feels having you as a sensei.”

 I glared at the Sarutobi, slightly insulted, “How they feel about me does not matter,” I paused for a moment then said with a sneer, “but... I'm pretty sure they're scared shitless. Especially the Hyuuga girl.”

 Obito sighed, “You're going to be the worst sensei ever...” He mumbled, rolled his eyes. No one said anything, but I could tell they agreed with him. Bunch of lackluster faithless jerks if you ask me.

 Pursing my lips I turned to Kakashi, “So, how bad did your almost team fail?” I asked, changing the subject.

 Kakashi gave me a look that told me he knew exactly what I was trying to do, but answered anyway, “Miserably, though I might take the Uchiha kid on as a personal student. He was the only one smart enough to figure it out.” Obito and I perked up at the mention of our clan name.

 “Uchiha? Who?” Obito questioned, leaning towards his best friend/rival.

 Kakashi shrugged, “Some kid named Netsui. He has a twin sister who was placed on another team.”

 My brother and I exchanged looks. We knew who Kakashi was talking about. Having twins in the clan was extremely rare, so Netsui and Nerai were considered something special. “Why didn't they place Nerai on your team, Kakashi-baka? Netsui and Nerai have a lot of combo attacks that could be useful.” Obito commented. Kakashi only shrugged again and I rolled my eyes, seeing that he was reading Icha Icha under the table. I was sorely tempted to 'accidentally' spill my drink on Kakashi and see if I could ruin his book.

 Before I could attempt anything, Anko suddenly appeared carrying a plate of dango, “Yo my bitches! What boring conversation are you- HEY!” Anko shouted when Obito and I simultaneously nabbed a dango stick from Anko's plate and stuffed them in our mouths before Anko could snatch them back. Everyone at the table sighed.

 The snake mistress glared at us, “You're lucky that I love you two, or you'd be dead... pigs.” She growled.

 Kurenai shook her head, “You should know better than to bring sweets around Obito and his sister.” She scolded lightly. Anko was still glaring at us as she grabbed her last dango stick and popped the first dumpling in her mouth. Kakashi was just giving the both of us dry looks that practically screamed, 'you nimrods'.

 What can I say, when it came to anything containing sugar, Obito and I were on it like white on rice.

 “Mm,” I waved my now empty dango stick around as I chewed on the last dumpling. Swallowing I continued, “did you know that Sasuke doesn't like sweets?” I commented. The look of absolute horror on Obito's face was priceless. Anko, who was almost as bad of a sugar junkie as Obito and I, looked almost as horrified. The rest of the jounin were too busy trying not to laugh at Obito's expression, myself included.

 “What Uchiha doesn't like sweets?!” Obito shouted, gaining a few looks from the patrons in the tea house where the six of us were relaxing.

 I shrugged at my Nii-san's question, “Apparently the second son to Fugaku. I tried to be nice and share my candy with him yesterday, but he said he didn't like sweets.” I got more surprised faces, but this time for a completely different reason.

 “You... offered to share candy with someone?” Anko asked. There was a brief pause before she slapped her hand to my forehead, “Nope, you ain't got a fever. Were you blackmailed into doing it then?” I glared and slapped her hand away.

 “Hey, I was trying to 'bond' with my students. With that hodgepodge of weirdos, I need to find some resemblance of sanity before I forget what it looks like.” I snapped sarcastically. I then turned to glare at Asuma and Kurenai, “How well does your students get along with each other?” I asked, though I already knew what they were going to say.

 The not-quite-yet-couple glanced at each other, probably silently communicating like the old married couple they should be. “Well...” Kurenai started hesitantly, “Kiba has some kind of one sided rivalry going on with Shino, but it's nothing too bad; and Sakura yells at Kiba a lot for being too... I think she said 'Naruto-like'.” I snorted at that one. This Kiba brat must be annoying indeed if he was compared to Naruto.

 Asuma shrugged when I turned to him, “Ino acts the same way as Sakura, she gets fed up with Shikamaru's lazy habits. She also tries to boss the boys around every so often, but Shikamaru and Chouji just go along with it. They're all very laid back.”

 “You lucky jerks.” I whined.

 Obito glared at me, “You're team seems to have good teamwork, stop complaining.” My brother growled. I laughed at him. No doubt he was remembering yesterday and the honey. I'd still be in the doghouse if I hadn't thought ahead and bought Obito two weeks worth of candy. In our house, candy equaled instant forgiveness, no matter how bad the crime was.

 “But they're still idiots. Hinata looks like she's going to faint half the time and Naruto is either trying to physically fight me or Sasuke. And Sasuke is trying to act cool and-” My eyes casually flicked up to the small clock hanging on the back wall of the tea shop. I stiffened when I realized the time. “Shit! My team has a mission!” I cursed and literally vaulted over my brother in my hurry to get away. The group of jounin laughed as I tore out of the tea house in a fury to beat my team to our meeting point.

 The last thing I needed was my team complaining about me being late.

 vvv

 “You're late.” Sasuke said dully when I came skidding to a halt five minutes before the time I had given my team. Luckily my cousin was the only one there. My biggest worry had been the loud mouth blonde. Naruto would never let me live it down if I had been late.

 I glared at the navy haired Uchiha as I tried to catch my breath, “Not a... word.” I panted.

 Sasuke smirked, “What will I get out of it?” He asked smugly. Damn it, he was catching on.

 “Name your price.” I said in all seriousness.

 My cousin's smirk grew wider, “I want to know why you won't talk to Shisui.” Damn it all, this brat was learning too quick! I was expecting him to name his favorite food and make me buy it like Obito usually did, not information.

 “HA! I'M EARLY, SO I'M NOT LATE!” Naruto shouted then as he came running up to us, saving me from a conversation I didn't want to have. By the looks of his disheveled state, it was clear that he would have been late if he hadn't hauled ass.

 I looked around as was surprised to see Hinata standing slightly behind the two boys. I raised an eyebrow, I hadn't even noticed her come up. There was no way of knowing if she was early or on time. Mentally I made a note to bump up Hinata to more advance stealth training before I pulled out the mission scroll, “Okay, first D-ranked mission of the day is... babysitting twins.”

 I don't know who groaned louder: me or Naruto.

 vvv

 Naruto and I came to the mutual agreement to ditch the brats with Hinata and Sasuke. I was already struggling not to kill myself by just dealing with three preteens, I didn't need two five year olds to add to the list. Naruto just didn't like small kids in general.

 Hinata, not surprisingly, took care of her brat quite well. The five year old seemed quite taken with the shy Hyuuga heiress. I was sorely tempted to make a comment about Hinata's future abilities at motherhood, but decided against it knowing she would just faint. Sasuke also fared okay. After a few tantrums, the brat quieted down knowing that Sasuke wasn't going to deal with any of his crap. As Hinata and Sasuke wondered around Konoha with their kids in tow, Naruto and I followed behind them talking aimlessly about our favorite foods. When I said I didn't like ramen, Naruto nearly had a heart attack, which was amusing to Sasuke and I. The twins looked confused as to why Naruto was on the ground twitching while Hinata was stuttering up a storm trying to talk to the comatose blonde.

 At noon we returned the twins to their parents and I dragged my team with me to clean Nekobaa's house. This time it was Hinata and Naruto that did all the work while Sasuke and I visited with the Uchiha weapons supplier. Nekobaa and I were mostly content in teasing Sasuke about his little paw challenge that Itachi-san had given him when they were younger. Sasuke didn't seem to mind all that much, though he did glare at me for quite a while. Naturally, being Uchiha, Sasuke and I were overrun by cats demanding for attention. Of course Naruto flubbed it up when, after seeing Sasuke and I casually petting the ever present cats, tried to pet one too.

 I probably should have told him that only members of the Uchiha clan were allowed to touch the cats.

 Needless to say, Naruto got his ass handed to him by a house cat. Hinata then did another swooning/stuttering episode as she tried to talk to the once again unconscious Naruto. Sasuke and I just enjoyed ourselves again.

 After the mission with Nekobaa, I took my team to help clean out an old abandoned building that was going to be torn down soon. Hinata and I sat this mission out as the boys used their 'muscles' to move old rotten crates and other decrepit treasures that were buried in the corners of the warehouse. I tried to cure Hinata of her stuttering problem in that time, but I only succeeded in lessening how much she stuttered by a few seconds before Naruto once again caused disaster.

 I tried to make the man who owned the building see the bright side: now he would have to pay the demolition teams anything, since Naruto flattened the building like a bug.

 I'm still not sure how he did that...

 At sunset I lead Team 7 back to the Missions Assignment Office to hand in the reports of the missions. Of all of them, the babysitting mission had gone the smoothest. It was the only one that didn't fail due to destruction of private property. I was starting to worry that all our missions would fail as bad. One lecture from the Hokage about mission effectiveness later, Hiruzen dismissed us and Team 7 dispersed into the growing dusk, each heading to their own home.

 Sasuke and I walked back together in silence, far enough apart that we wouldn't brush up against each other as we walked. I was starting to get a feeling that this was going to be a regular thing.

 “You never did tell me why you don't speak to Shisui.” Sasuke commented out of the blue.

 I glared into the distance. Damn it I had been hoping he had forgotten about that. When I didn't say anything he continued, “I asked Shisui yesterday, but he only laughed it off and changed the subject. Aniki said you two used to be good friends.”

 “What happened to the glaring boy who first introduced himself?” I asked dryly.

 “He got curious.”

 “Curiosity killed the cat.”

 Sasuke finally glared at me before smirking, “And satisfaction brought it back.”

 I twitched in irritation. This kid had been hanging around Obito and Shisui too much if he was starting to quote those two goofballs. I started picking up my pace, making the Uchiha brat have to jog to keep up with me, “I don't have to explain anything to you. It's private.”

 Sasuke shrugged and shoved his hands in his pockets, “Fine. I'll tell Naruto that you were late today. I imagine he'll stop teasing you about it... when you're in your grave. Maybe not though.”

 It was hard resisting the urge to smack the boy upside the head like I would Nii-san or Shisui when they started blackmailing me. You don't blackmail the Blackmail Queen and get away with it, it was simply unheard of. I thought frantically of a way to get out of the mess I had created and cursed the fact that I didn't have any blackmail to hold over Sasuke.

 Oh wait...

 I smirked evilly down at him, enjoying the sight of Sasuke tensing up in anxiety. I already had the Uchiha brat trained so well, “Go ahead and tell Naruto,” I started nonchalantly with a shrug of my own. My eyes gleamed as I grinned sadistically, “but don't come whining to me when people start asking if you and the blonde brat are dating... That kiss was so romantic. I wonder what your family will think.”

 My little cousin's complexion turned from white to green to red in under two seconds. I laughed loudly and reached down to ruffle his duckass hair, ignoring his rather impressive glare, “Never try to blackmail the Blackmail Queen, I have that nickname for a reason. I know every embarrassing secret about everyone. Now drop the subject and you'll maintain your dignity.”

 “I will find out one day.” Sasuke said stubbornly.

 I held out my hands, palms facing upwards, and shrugged to show how much I cared, “Sure... maybe you will.” I said in a soothing tone, the kind that parents got when their child failed at something and was bawling their eyes out.

 Another glare from the boy, “Don't patronize me.”

 “Then don't leave yourself open.”

 “You're annoying.”

 “I've heard it all before, brat. Keep it coming.”

 “Aniki says you don't respect anyone.”

 “I don't respect people for who they are born as. They earn my respect.” I snapped, a little more harshly than I intended.

 Sasuke was silent after that, his young face hard with contemplation. I eyed the boy as we reached the Uchiha Compound. I knew Sasuke was smart–he should be after having a genius for an older brother–so it wasn't much of a surprise that he would think before he spoke. Still that expression on his face didn't belong on the twelve year old's face; one could hardly expect an adult to think so deeply, let alone a child. I did the only thing I could do.

 I swatted him upside the head.

 “HEY!” Sasuke yelped and glared at me as he rubbed the back of his head. I pulled my cousin in a choke hold and ground my first knuckle into his temple, like Obito used to do to me when I was younger.

 “You're still a brat and I still don't like you, but stop trying to over think things. Didn't you learn anything from your first teamwork exercise?” I asked. Sasuke glared at me for the reminder about his understated 'clue'. I laughed and pushed in away from me, “Go home and bother your 'aniki,' brat.” I said cheerfully and started to turn away before I remembered something.

 “Oh...” I looked over my shoulder at Sasuke who froze on spot, probably thinking I was going to say something evil, “and if Shisui ever gives you trouble, just ask him about his nineteenth birthday.” I said with a wink. I shunshined away, leaving the poor kid frowning in confusion.

  Chapter 7: Hypocrite Thy Name is-

Mission One: Retrieve cat from tree

 Rank: D-rank

 Team: Team 7

 Complete: yes

 Overview from Sensei: Team arrived on site for the mission and evaluated the situation. Sasuke shows signs of a adept strategist as he relayed a plan to his teammates on how to get the cat out of the tree. Hinata appears to be a good follower, as she completed every task Sasuke gave her. Naruto, however, shows that he is neither a good leader or a good follower. Disregarding both mine and Sasuke's orders, Naruto created kage bushin to climb up and retrieve the cat alone. Both Naruto and the tree were injured and the cat traumatized.

 …

 Mission Two: Grocery Shopping for the Chief Councilor’s Wife (time limit: 2 hours)

 Rank: D-rank

 Team: Team 7

 Complete: no

 Overview from Sensei: Hinata took action by dividing up the long list of groceries between the three genin to save time. Sasuke shows excellent signs of being a follower when it is needed. He finished his section in record time and had the foresight to retrieve items not on the list but were still necessary. Hinata was only moments behind Sasuke in completing her tasks. Naruto go sidetracked by ramen and thus failed the time crucial mission.

 …

 Mission Three: Weeding the Public Gardens

 Rank: D-Rank

 Team: Team 7

 Complete: no

 Overview from Sensei: Sasuke and Hinata did alright. They successfully finished their sections of the gardens and disposed of the weeds properly. Hinata was even able to give advice about plant upkeep to the caretakers. Naruto pulled everything, plant and weed, from his sections. Half of his paycheck has been cut to go to the whiny plant caretakers.

…

 Mission Four: Cleaning Nekobaa's House

 Rank: D-rank

 Team: Team 7

 Overview from Sensei: An almost replica of the team's first mission to clean Nekobaa's hut. Sasuke and Hinata applied their ninja skills to complete their tasks faster. Naruto once again upset the cats and made another mess. Thankfully Nekobaa was not too upset.

 …

 Mission Five: Babysitting

 Rank: D-Rank

 Team: Team 7

 Complete: yes

 Overview from Sensei: Naruto shouldn't be allowed around children. He somehow traumatized the little brat... and not by means that you are thinking of.

 ...

 Mission Six: Gardening for Lady Jin

 Rank: D-Rank

 Team: Team 7

 Complete: no

 Overview from Sensei: I'M STARTING TO THINK THIS IS A CRUEL JOKE, HOKAGE!

 I shoved the reports away from me and tossed the pen down. I needed a break. It was only my official second day of being a jounin sensei and already I needed a break. I was going to go insane if I had to spend another minute around those three brats!

 “YANAGI-SENSEI!” A voice I knew too well, and didn't like at all, shouted from the front door. The brat was loud enough that I could hear his voice even from the back of the house. Cursing I started to get up to answer it when the worst happened.

 Obito.

 Met.

 Naruto.

 “HEY LOUD-MOUTH BRAT! SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH BEFORE I FIND AWAY TO STITCH IT CLOSED! I'M TRYING TO WRITE REPORTS!!” Obito roared and I cringed at the sound of his loud voice bouncing off the walls of our house. Fugaku really didn't think things through when he thought that a two bedroom house was enough for the infamous Uchiha hotheads.

 “SAY THAT TO MY FACE!” Naruto, of course, yelled back. Luckily his voice was a little muffled so I didn't go completely deaf then and there.

 Nii-san cursed rather loudly and I could hear him stomping towards the front door. Well crap, now I had to deal with two idiots under the same roof. I groaned from my seat, not having yet bothered to move and separate the two before things could escalate. Why oh why was I cursed to live with a difficult brother and have to teach the loudest brat I had ever known in existence? Even if I was the worst kind of insane homicidal psychopath in a past life, I doubted that I deserved this fate.

 Whoever told Naruto where I lived, I was going to murder them in the most horrific way.

 “Hey! You're that guy we had to prank.” I could hear Naruto saying as I heard the sliding door slam open. Oh crap. I forgot about that prank! Scrambling out of my seat I rushed into the main room just in time to see Obito glowering down at my student. At least he wasn't killing him... yet.

 Obito, to say the least, didn't look pleased at all, “Kid, you've got three seconds to get off my property.”  Naruto had better thank his lucky stars that he was the son of Minato-san; otherwise I doubted that the blonde brat would be standing there for very long. Predictably, a very long and very loud argument between the two knuckleheads started.

 I sighed as I thought about my options. Option one: Do nothing and let Obito and Naruto dislike each other. It might be a good thing, since they wouldn't bother me as much when they were too busy yelling at each other. However, two extremely loud people shouting at each other was a sure ticket to migraines. Option two: Make them like each other. If Nii-san got along well enough with Naruto then they would probably go pranking together and get out of my hair for a few hours. The downside was that I would have to deal with Naruto more often. My choice was clear.

 After retrieving Obito's wallet from his room, I chucked it at my brother and hit him on the back of his head. Obito spun around to glare at me, “What the hell is wrong with you?!” He snapped.

 I glared back at him, “Stop giving me headaches and go bond with your Mini-me. Buy ramen or whatever.” I dismissed with a wave of my hand.

 “Mini-me?! He's (I'm) not my (his) Mini-me!” Obito and Naruto shouted at the same time, in the exact same offended voice. I laughed at their expressions as horror came over their faces and they glanced at each other. Everything was in perfect sync, it was very creepy but amusing at the same time. I just gave the two a knowing smirk. It was so obvious that Nii-san and the Kyuubi brat were alike, and they just kept proving it by mimicking each other.

 I turned to Naruto as the two came to terms with their sudden likeness, “How'd you get here? I know someone told you, who were they?” I asked sternly.

 Naruto was still too busy giving Obito a nasty glare, which was returned tenfold, to answer me. It wasn't until I reached around my brother and yanked harshly on Naruto's ear that the blonde finally looked at me, “Ai ai ai! Frizzy-sensei! Don't pulllll!” He whined. I stiffened at the nickname and Obito burst out laughing.

 “Frizzy...sensei?” I asked, my tone turning dangerously. My hair, I admit, was unruly–even more so than Shisui's–but you never ever tease a woman about her appearance. Especially a hot tempered woman like me. Uchiha women were naturally beautiful, with their long flowing hair and dark intelligent eyes; I knew I wasn't on par with them, and I was extra volatile about my appearance because of that.

 The kid seemed to understand that he was in deep trouble now as he squirmed in my grip. He kept apologizing over and over. I just pinched his earlobe harder in a warning before letting go. The brat danced from foot to foot, both hands clasped to his injured ear, wailing about how much it hurt. Obito snickered the whole time, finding amusement in what he normally did when Rin pulled on his ear.

 I shot my brother a meaningful look and thankfully Obito caught my meaning and shoved Naruto out the door, “Come on, ya brat. I'm hungry and my imoto will only murder you if you stay here.” My brother drawled. Naruto made no complaints, probably hoping that Obito would take pity on the blonde and feed him.

 Rolling my eyes at the stupidity of those around me, I shut the door and went back to my room. I needed to finish those stupid mission reports.

 Someone murder me now.

 vvv

 “OBITO!” A voice shouted and I groaned, letting my head fall onto my desk. Was I never to have a moment's peace to myself without some loud mouth idiot coming to ruin it?! Though, granted the person yelling now wasn't a loud mouth...

 He was just extremely pissed.

 I glared at Kakashi the minute I walked into the main room, “Honestly, Kakashi, you have no room to yell at Obito-nii for lateness. You do it yourself!” I snapped as my way to say hello.

 “Where is he?”

 “Out distracting Naruto so I can do reports.”

 “Did he finish his?”

 I shrugged, “He was working on his reports until Naruto came along. By the way, do you know who told Naruto where we live? 'Cause I sure as hell didn't!” I eyed Kakashi suspiciously, thinking maybe he had something to do with it; but I turned the thought down immediately. The only association Kakashi had with Naruto was through Minato-san. And besides, neither Obito or I had warranted the revenge of the Copy-nin... yet.

 Kakashi also shrugged, his temporary anger already dissipating. I don't know how Kakashi managed to go through the emotional spectrum so fast. Normally the only thing that could rile the white haired shinobi up was Obito, and Kakashi's anger usually went away after a few minutes. I on the other hand could hold grudges for a long time.

 ...Five years in fact...

 I rolled my eyes when Kakashi didn't say anything and walked past him to shut the door; Kakashi had a bad habit of leaving doors open when it wasn't his own house. I turned back to my brother figure after I locked the door. Seriously, living in a shinobi village... and we had a cheap lock on the door. Both Obito and I were powerful in the clan, bested only by Itachi and Shisui, so I didn't understand why Obito installed the lock in the first place. Besides, what good what it do? If anyone was determined enough, a lock wasn't going to stop them.

 “Any particular reason why you came to yell for my brother? Or are you just making sure he's not being lazy?” I asked Kakashi.

 Kakashi fell back into his laid-back persona and chuckled sheepishly, “A little bit of both actually.” He said, scratching the back of his head. I huffed, of course he was. I raised an eyebrow and waited for Kakashi to elaborate, “Obito promised Rin and me that he would meet us at the BBQ today at noon.” I checked the time. It was almost four in the afternoon, only an hour since Obito left to distract Naruto.

 I rolled my eyes, “And you're only now coming to yell at him? I think you're a tad late yourself, Kakashi.” My brother figure shrugged as if it was okay when he was the one that was late.

 Hypocrite.

 “Fine. Since you're here, you're going to treat me to dinner. No exceptions.” I said and pulled Kakashi out of the house. Had it been Obito, he would have whined about being forced to come, but Kakashi just chuckled at my controlling nature. He had long since learned that when I put my mind to something, I was the most stubborn thing alive.

 A few minutes later found the two of us in an Akimichi restaurant. The Akimichi clan was famous for owning several restaurants around Konoha as well as being a ninja clan. Many clans had civilian sideline profits that could be used for shinobi means; it was almost rare not to. The Akimichi were into restaurants, but they also made most of Konoha's standard ration bars and mission food supplies. The Yamanaka clan owns chains of flower shops and provided shinobi with poisons and herbs. The Uchiha worked as police for civilians but they could easily switch to being an army if the need arose. There were various ways the clans could help Konoha's civilian population; it was a complex system smoothed out from years of experimenting.

 Except the Hyuuga clan, they were just a bunch of freeloaders.

 “So did you ever decide if you were going to personally train that Uchiha kid or not?” I asked as Kakashi pulled down his mask to enjoy his dinner. The two of us were in a private booth so there were no worries about people seeing Kakashi's face. Since I had been practically raised by Kakashi as well as Obito, it was inevitable that I would see the Copy-nin unmasked so Kakashi never truly bothered to hide his face from me. Plus it always helped that I had threatened to reveal pictures of him unmasked to the fangirl population if he ever tried to hide his face from me.

 That was my first ever blackmail and I found pride in it.

 Kakashi held up a finger as he finished chewing on his mouthful of broiled saury. I was just happy that he didn't talk with his mouth full like Nii-san did, the uncouth pig. “I'm still debating.” He said nonchalantly when he swallowed. Code for: I haven't decided to retire from ANBU Corps yet. “What do you think I should do?” Kakashi added, almost in afterthought.

 “Mmm... when I talked to Sasuke about it, he said that Netsui was one of the top genin. It seems unfair that he would fail just because his team has no concept of teamwork.” I tapped my chopsticks against my bowl of Nikujaga as I thought. There were really only two options for Netsui. He could always go into the Genin Corps and work his way slowly up in ranks, but that would take time and it was unheard of for an Uchiha to do so. Or he could snag a jounin master and learn privately, which could go one of two ways: having a Uchiha clansmen help or a random jounin. A non-clansmen wouldn't be any good anyway, since they couldn't teach Netsui how to master his Sharingan if it developed; and getting an Uchiha to be Netsui's master could be problematic in the sense that Konoha would think the clan was beginning to conspire again. That was a fate I wished to avoid at all costs.

 I might have no love for the clan, but I still didn't want it to be wiped out like it almost was.

 A sudden flick in the forehead startled me out of my musings. Kakashi rolled his eye as he sat back, “Stop plotting and tell me what you're thinking.” He said dryly. I giggled a little. Because of his sharingan gift from Obito, Kakashi was one of the few outsiders that was close to the Uchiha clan so he knew all about our tendency to over think things.

 Quickly I explained my thoughts about Netsui's future. Even though he kept a relaxed posture Kakashi seemed to listen intently to my reasoning, I could tell by the sharp glint in his eye. That was one reason why I liked Kakashi. He didn't think that because I was female, even if I was an Uchiha, that I didn't know anything. I might not have Itachi-san's ability to think up plans years in advance and predict every possible outcome, but I still had a sharp mind and I put it to use. Kakashi knew that.

 Kakashi's single visible eyebrow pulled down low over his nose and his mouth turned downwards in a frown as he came to the same conclusion I did. If Kakashi didn't do anything, Netsui would be isolated from the clan and saw as a failure like Obito had been when he refused to take his sharingan back from Kakashi. The Uchiha clan didn't look kindly on failures; our ruthlessness was one of the aspects that made us stronger than most clans. Kind hearted fools had better be powerful or else they were cut off. It was one thing that would never change, even with the clan's change of heart we would be ruthless to the end.

 A heavy silence fell over our booth as I waited for Kakashi to speak. I knew Kakashi was going through all his options carefully, trying to see every possible outcome. Kakashi didn't run headfirst into things, he was levelheaded and logical. If I pushed him now he would probably read wrongly into my motives, thinking that I might have an ulterior motive in regards to Netsui's future. I would have to be patient and wait for Kakashi's answer.

 Finally my brother figure groaned, “No offense... but your clan sucks.” He said resigned.

 I laughed, “No offense taken, I think the same thing.” I said lightly and turned back to my Nikujaga. A different kind of silence descended on us, this one more peaceful now that matters were resolved and Netsui wasn't in danger of becoming an outcast like my brother.

 Of course, Kakashi in all his nosy glory had to ask, “Why are you so interested in the kid anyway? He's not related directly to you like Sasuke.”

 “Because,” I said seriously, giving my brother figure a hard stare, “I don't want anyone to end up like Obito. People still look down on Nii-san, even though he is the third most powerful in the clan. I... I don't want anyone to suffer like he has.” I finished in a whisper, staring down at my bowl of sweet beef. Suddenly it didn't look all that appealing anymore. I admit it, for all my ranting about Obito and for all the times I claimed I didn't like him, I was still his younger sister. And little sister had to look up to their brothers, especially when their brother was the person who raised them.

 Kakashi shifted in his seat, probably extremely uncomfortable. The Copy-nin never really did handle emotions well, there was a reason why one of his ANBU nicknames was the 'Hot and Cold Kakashi.' But hey, at least I wasn't crying.

 Kakashi freaked when a girl cried near him.

 “Maa... doesn't Netsui have a twin?” Kakashi asked, discomfort coloring his voice a little. I knew he would change the subject. Kakashi trying to get away from sensitive topics was about as certain as Gai connecting any conversation to youth in some fashion.

 So forgive me if I couldn't help but snort a little at his predictability, “Yeah. Nerai has good medical skills, best in her class from what I hear. Can you talk to Rin and see if she is willing to sponsor Nerai?” Nerai was easy to deal with, it was Netsui that I was concerned about. The Uchiha clan was always harder on their men than the women.

 Bunch of sexist pricks.

 Without waiting for Kakashi's reply I stood and threw some yen down on the table, “You can go read your porn now, Hentai-nii. I'm through bothering you for the day.” I said teasingly. Kakashi's expression was not a happy one to say the least.

 But that was what made things fun.

 vvv

 I barely sat down at my desk, prepared to finished up those stupid mission reports even if it killed me, when there was loud banging at the front door... again. I was never going to win! Growling curses and muttering of all the ways I could kill whoever was at the door, going as far as to specify what I would do with their severed fingers and toes, I went to answer the door.

 “What the hell do you want?” I growled as I slammed the door open then froze when I saw who was standing at my door.

 I blinked.

 And blinked again.

 Fugaku did not look amused at all. “We have been summoned to the Hokage's office. Let's go.” He said in that gruff voice of his before he shunshined away.

 I stood there for a moment, stunned that the Uchiha clan leader would have actually come to my door. If Fugaku ever needed something from either Obito or I, he would send one of his little minions to fetch us, not come personally. Whatever he wanted, it was serious if it could get his royal ass within ten meters of our house. Out of sheer curiosity, and nothing else, I followed after my clan leader and went to the Hokage's Office.

 I sincerely wished I hadn't.

 The moment I stepped into Hiruzen's office I knew I was in trouble. Not only was Fugaku standing off to the side, glaring at me like he always did, but across the room the Hyuuga clan leader also stood, giving me the same glare.

 If it wasn't for the different colored eyes, I'd say they were related.

 Ignoring the two arrogant clan leaders, I focused my attention on the highly amused Hokage, “You wished to see me, Hokage-sama?” I asked, my tone perfectly polite. From the aura darkening around Fugaku, I knew it irritated him. I had to keep the smirk off my face. Annoy my clan leader by being polite: check.

 The Hokage seemed to know what I was doing, since he shook his head disappoint but that didn't make his small smile go away. The Hyuuga spoke instead of the Hokage though, “The matter of my daughter.”

 “What about her?” I demanded, not even pretending to be polite. I might not like the Uchiha clan, but like any Uchiha with even an ounce of loyalty, I automatically detested the Hyuuga.

 The Hyuuga clan leader, whatever his name was, twitched at the blatant disrespect. I smirked at him, Uchiha may be traditional, but we had nothing on those white eyed weirdos. The Hokage sighed, “Please, do not antagonize, Uchiha Yanagi.” He said tiredly. I bowed low in a false apology and didn't say anything. Fugaku and Hiruzen knew that was the best they were going to get out of me and didn't press the subject.

 “Lord Hokage, why did you put Hinata on a team with two Uchiha?” Hyuuga Prick Number 1 asked, completely ignoring Fugaku and me like we didn't exist. I rolled my eyes, this was why the Uchiha found no love in the Hyuuga. You couldn't find another clan that had so many jackasses in it anywhere else in the world. Not even the Uchiha clan could compete with the Hyuuga in that.

 Hiruzen didn't react at all. He just looked at the Hyuuga and said in an almost scolding tone, “Hyuuga Hiashi, please calm down.” Even though it was polite, anyone could tell that the Hokage was ordering Hiashi to shut the hell up. Hiashi's face twisted with displeasure, but he didn't dare go against the Hokage.

 The old man took a long draw on his ever present pipe before saying, “It is that attitude that makes this team arrangement necessary.” Oh dear heaven above, here we go... another long winded speech, “For years the Uchiha have been oppressed because of their ancestors actions. People often forget that the Uchiha were one of the founding clans of Konoha. It was the Uchiha clan that kept Konoha safe in the first few years, along with the Senju clan, but now they are treated with suspicion. After the Kyuubi attack, people began to distrust the Uchiha even more, until the point that the Uchiha nearly started a coup.”

 “That is exactly why we shouldn't let the Uchiha teach our children!” Hiashi snapped.

 “Hey!” I shouted and took a menacing step forward, how dare that insufferable prick accuse me of brainwashing the genin, but Fugaku held me back. From the tightness of his grip I knew that, for once, my clan leader and I were in agreement with something.

 The Hokage gave the three of us a steely look that reminded us of the war leader he had been, not the harmless grandfatherly type that he appeared to be now. Even though I had only been seven when the Third Shinobi War had ended, it was enough to know just how frightening Hiruzen could be when he wanted.

 When we had calmed down enough not to attack each other, Hiruzen continued, “It is because the Uchiha almost revolted that we should have Uchiha teaching genin.” Cue the 'I'm confused but I'm sure as not showing it in front of my enemy' look from Hiashi. Hell, I was a little confused too. The Hokage smiled slightly, “The Uchiha lost trust in Konoha, that is why they almost attacked. Had it not been for certain parties to intervene, I doubt that the Uchiha would be alive today.” Of the few people who knew about the attempted Uchiha coup only a handful knew that Itachi and Shisui were the ones who stopped it. And none of them were Hiashi. “It was clear that such an event could possibly happen again in the future if nothing was done. Konoha, as well as the Uchiha clan, had to change for the better if we were to prevent something of that scale again. What better way to clear away the dark past then to instill a new future into the minds of the next generation?

 “As for your daughter; it is a simple attempt to bring the Uchiha clan closer to the others. In the past, both before Konoha and after it was built, the Uchiha clan has always stood alone. They never relied on alliances with other clans. I believe that if they were to open their arms and welcome the friendship of other clans, they would be even stronger than they are now.” I noticed that Fugaku was standing a little straighter behind me and I had to swallow the urge to laugh at his pride. The Hokage was playing these two old warthogs like a fiddle, and expertly too. “Clan alliances always work best in teamwork. Take the Akimichi, Yamanaka, and Nara clans. Any team that contains members of those clans are known to have the best teamwork. Just imagine what the Hyuuga and Uchiha could accomplish together.”

 Both clan members gave each other appeasing looks, as if both were trying to figure the benefits they would get being allies. I raised a knowing eyebrow at the Hokage while the old farts were busy eyeing each other like sacks of meat. Hiruzen only chuckled under his breath and gave me a quick wink, so fast had I blinked I would have never seen it.

 “So... does this mean I can get back to my team? I have torture to dish out.” I asked, half joking. Okay, so not the best thing to say in front of the three men who were fathers, or a grandfather figure in the Hokage's case, to my precious little genin.

 I don't think even Obito can ever achieve the evil looks I got from those three.

#Script's Archives #sensei fanfic #naruto fanfiction #fanfiction

[carry-on-my-pretty-weeper]

Catching Lightning Chapter 23

Author: carry-on-my-pretty-weeper

Character(s): Reader, Tony, Sam, Thor, Loki, Avengers and Peter

Word Count: +1.3k

Warnings: nothing too bad, crying and stuff

Author’s Note: so this is the last chapter to the Catching Lightning series minus the epilogue but guys I can’t even begin to describe how I feel right now. just the pride that I feel right now is truly indescribable I wrote enough for it to be a book. 42 thousand words. 42 thousand! guys i’m honestly so blown away just thank you to every single person that took the time to read or leave a like or comment or follow me. you all are what make this possible because if I felt like no one wanted to read what I wrote then I wouldn’t have written anything. which also wouldn’t have given me enough experience to actually write my own book with my own original characters. so thank you. thank you so fucking much I owe you all so much.

Series Masterlist

<< 22 // Epilogue >>

You know I quite like the silence. The nothing. There’s absolutely nothing to do with it besides think about the things that could’ve been or reflect on the things that were.

Like my friends. Ned, MJ, and Peter.

My family of my Mom and Dad.

My community that stood behind me. That I protected.

One of my favorite memories was of a movie night. A movie night. Seems so mundane now but it was when I was the most happy. My friends and family surrounding me with love. MJ attached to my waist, my hand in Ned’s and my head in Peter’s lap. My parents in the kitchen cooking us some food. I can’t even remember what. Star Wars marathon on the TV capturing all of our attention. Well almost all. I couldn’t help but look around at my life. My extremely blessed life. My incredible family that I created all by myself and the family I was given that I wouldn’t trade for the world.

I can’t help but think about my other family. My thrown together, last minute, mix and match family. My super family. Now that’s a family I never expected to have, but I’m grateful that I did. They could understand me in a way I didn’t think anyone would be able to.

And smack dab in the middle of all of these families is Peter. Peter Parker. The boy who I had no idea how fast I was falling in love with. I love him and I may be a bit hopeful but I’m sure he loves me too. I was- I was going to tell him. When was the last time I saw him? In the compound? No that’s not right. I - I can’t remember. Why can’t I remember? I do remember laying across his stomach and I was...upset. Th-Then...oh shit.

Water droplets start to fall on your face confusing you. Where were you? Standing up you’re at the place where the agent burst. Looking down you see Peter but he’s crying. You try to tap on his shoulder but your arm goes through. “No, no, no, no,” you start whispering as you move to his side where you see yourself. Am I dead?! Oh no. God no. Please no! You realized that the water droplets from earlier were Peter’s tears hitting your face. “Peter? Peter can you hear me?!”

“Lady Y/n?” Thor asks as he emerges from the hallway with Loki supported by him.

“Can you see me?”

“Of course we can see you, why wouldn’t we be able to?” Loki scoffs as Peter lifts up his head.

“Who are you talking to?” he whimpers with furrowed eyebrows. This surprises the two of them before they see your body lying close to Peter.

“That’s why,” you huff as you sit next to Peter.

“Lady Y/n, she’s right next to you,” Thor responds to Peter as he becomes angry.

“Can’t you tell she’s-she’s-” He can’t even get his words out before choking on a sob.

“She’s not in fact. She’s just unconscious, we’re talking to her conscious right now,” Loki reveals Peter looks at Loki suspiciously before looking down at you.

“Tell me something...that only she would know,” he demands as he wipes his tears. Loki looks at you expectantly.

“Say she says that you used to be a chubby faced child who wanted to be Iron Man when he grew up,” you say as Thor repeats it.

“That could be anyone-”

“Also say he named his Tony Stark teddy bear I gave him last year Irondad!” Thor repeats this as well. Peter takes in a shaky breath and looks down at you.

“Where,” he begin before sniffling, “Where is she?” Loki’s points at you and Peter looks in your general direction. He places his hand on the ground and you place yours over his. “How do we get her back?”

“She just has to be woken,” Loki states as Peter scoffs.

“I’ve already tried that it didn’t work,” Peter says defensively as he retracts his hand.

“Allow me to try something,” Thor interrupts before Loki and Peter get into a snarking contest. Peter stands aside as Thor places his hand over your chest and administers a small shock. You immediately shoot up from the floor and almost knock heads with Thor. “Fantastic! I didn’t think that would work!” Thor admits with a grin. Loki rolls his eyes but you weren’t even paying attention to them because you launch yourself into Peter’s arms.

“You fucking scared me. Promise me you won’t ever do that again,” Peter pleads as you laugh.

“Save your ass? Sorry sir but that’s my job,” you joke as he gives you a playfully angry look.

“You better find yourself a new profession or I’ll have a heart attack.” Remembering your inner monologue from before you act on it.

“Peter, I like you a lot. Hell, I fucking love you. I don’t want to die with you never knowing-” You’re cut off by Peter’s lips on yours. You relax into his arms and kiss him back fiercely. He liked you! He liked you back!! You never thought that this would ever happen. I guess almost dying gave you the balls you needed to tell him. Which was definitely paying off right now.

You were both cut off by Loki clearing his throat. “As lovely as this is should we not be finding our way back to your little team?” Loki teases as your cheeks burn a bright crimson but you really didn’t care.

Thor helps you and Peter stand up. Once situated you fasten your right arm around Peter’s waist while he throws his left arm over your shoulder. You reach up to holding his left hand with yours accidently giving him a little shock. Snapping your head up you catch his gaze with yours.

“Do you think...maybe?” you question not even finishing your sentence but he understood.

“Maybe,” he replies before Loki interrupts.

“No doddling we need to find the others,” he responds with a disgusted face. You two were being too lovey dovey for his taste. “Ugh, children,” mutters causing the two of you to try and hold back your laughter. God you missed this.

When you found the others you got one hell of a scolding on the quinjet. It alternated between mainly Tony and Steve but the others got a couple words in. Thor attempted to explain that you had Loki as a chaperone before he could get out more than a few words the entire team turned on both of them. First Loki for leaving the compound, taking me with him, and not telling anyone and Thor for letting it all happen.

But when everyone finally calmed down we all participated in a much needed group hug. Then some avengers wanted their separate hugs with you and Peter. “I’m glad you’re safe kid. You had all of us worried,” Tony says to Peter before facing you. “And I know this isn’t the best thing to say to someone who heavily broke the rules but you did good kid. You did real good.” He pulls the two of you into another hug.

“Thanks Tony,” you reply as Peter does the same.

Finally the quinjet lands back at the compound and as soon as you get out you’re immediately tackled by your brown and white buddy who quite literally takes you to the ground. Sparks start licking your face like crazy and doesn’t let up. Not even when you playfully push her away. Just when you thought she was done she pounces for Peter. He lets out a surprised shout before similarly being tackled to the ground.

“Come on Sparks,” you say as you easily lift her up catching you by surprise. Peter lifts an eyebrow before getting up. “Let’s uh, let’s go inside,” you declare as he walks by your side.

You hear Sam before you’re out of ear range, “Since when did they know each other that well?” 

Honestly you couldn’t tell if he was talking about Sparks and Peter or Peter and you. But regardless you made a mental note to tell them about it later. For now you were content with keeping them a bit clueless and just content overall. Peter was safe. You were safe. What more could you ask for?

Tags:

@stevieboyharrington, @fandomlover03, @markusstraya, @speggehi, @thetimidsarcasticcat, @condy-wants-a-cookie, @feline-space, @wipplog, @ink-and-tea, @-thatgirloverthere-, @mysteriouslysharkbait, @lionsfandomsandbearsohmy, @absmiles123, @tienna-laufeyson16, @give-jack-a-lightsaber, @musical-doll-x, @joe-mazzello-is-my-dad

#peter parker #peter x reader #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #spiderman #spidey #spiderman x reader #spiderman x y/n #Spider-Man: Homecoming #Loki Laufeyson #loki imagine #loki x you #loki #loki fanfic #thor #thor imagine #thor odinson #thor x reader #tony stark #tony stark x reader #tony stark x you #Avengers #avengers fanfic #marvel #Captain Marvel #marvel headcanon #marvel fanfiction #marvel imagines #Steve Rogers #steve rogers x reader

[creepingtowardstheedge]

Ruth Montgomery | The Junior Deputy

The Basics:

Full name: Ruth Montgomery Meaning: ‘friend’ in Hebrew Nicknames: Rue (closest friends), Rook, Rookie, Deputy, Dep, Probie (Pratt), Wrath (John), Sinner (cultists), Little Miss Wrath (John), Kid (Dutch) Birth date: March 21st, 1993 Age: 25 years old Height: 5’4” inch | 166 cm Gender: Female Zodiac: Aries Sexuality: Heterosexual MBTI: ENTJ Alignment: Neutral Good Temperament: Choleric Phobia(s): Heights and bees Guilty pleasures: Cult Radio, loud music, staying in pijamas all day, chocolate Language(s) spoken: English and a little bit of Spanish Hobbies: Stargazing, boxing, listening lo music, sleeping, playing the piano Side: Resistance John’s tattoos: Wrath (chest)

Background:

Hometown: Great Falls, Montana Current location: Hope County, Montana Nationality: American Ethnicity: Canadian, American, Brazilian, Guatemalan. Family: Jane Montgomery (mother†), Scott Barnes (father), Melanie Barnes (stepmother), Alex Price (half-brother), Brenda Barnes (half-sister), Jack Barnes (half-brother). Pet(s): None Education: High school diploma Occupation: Junior Deputy Past job(s): Waitress Brief story: Her parents were both very young when her mother got pregnant. They were happy for some time, but after a few years things started getting tough and her father started drinking and  whoring around. They divorced and her father remarried and started a family with another woman, so Ruth grew up with her mother, visiting her father once or twice a month but never enjoying it. Her mother always took care of her and sacrificed everything for her, sometimes even happiness, working hard to provide her with everything she wanted, but when Ruth was 15 she contracted cancer and died a year later. Devastated, Ruth started living with her uncle Adam, not wanting to live with her father and his new family, but she had a rough couple of years, but with time and with her uncle’s help she got out of it and started seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. After working for a couple of years as a waitress, she enrolled for the police academy in Helena and then moved to Hope County to start her new job as a police officer.

Skills and Abilities:

Physical strength: 5/10 Offense: 6/10 Defense: 7/10 Agility: 9/10 Speed: 8/10 Intelligence: 8/10 Stealth: 9/10 Precision: 9/10 Stamina: 6/10 Teamwork: 7/10

Talents: 

Police officer skills: handling a gun, physical resistance, criminal insight, attention to details.

Stealth: moving undetected and killing without being noticed.

Blowing up things, flying and hunting

Shortcomings: 

Hand to hand combat: she’s not very strong, and in an open fight she wouldn’t be able to knock out a grown man. She’s really agile though, so she tries to overcome her enemies by sneaking out and wearing them out.

Self-control: she tends to lose her temper pretty fast and sometimes has serious self-control issues – you could see her try to kill a wolf with her bare hands if she’s in a bad mood and is particularly angry with the above-mentioned animal (yeah, she’s pretty dumb sometimes).

Physical appearance and characteristics:

Face claim: Victoria Justice Eye color: Brown Hair color: Dark brown Glasses/Contacts: None Dominant hand: Right hand Build: Slim Skin tone: Olive Tattoos: None, apart from John’s tattoo. Piercings: None Marks/scars: Several animal scratches and a tiny scar on her neck as a result of a particularly fierce clash with a peggie. Clothing style: Sporty and casual clothes, she usually wears plaid shirts, tight jeans and short tank tops. She likes to keeps it simple. Allergies: Peanuts

Relationships:

Joseph Seed: She doesn’t believe all the crap he says, but there’s something about him, something that fascinates her, that makes her want to believe him. His unpredictability scares her, though, and she knows he could be capable of everything, especially after hearing his story and what he did to his daughter. She’s afraid of him, she’s afraid of the effect he has on her but above all she’s afraid of what he could do next to convince people that what he’s saying is true.

John Seed: At first she just thought he was a sadistic bastard, always trying to kidnap and convert  people against their will. But after reading the Book of Joseph she started wondering and thinking about his past and all the things he had to go through when he was a child. She knows his attitude is probably a side effect of what he’s been through, but that doesn’t justify his actions nor his beliefs. With time, though, she started having contradictory feelings towards him, fearing him on on hand and being attracted to him on the other.

Jacob Seed: Ruth is very cautious around him, knowing what he did to his fellow soldier and what he does to the people he kidnaps in the mountains. She admires him, though, for always having his brothers’ backs and defending them when they were young. He’s strong, fierce and determined, but he’s also dangerous and has a bad habit of torturing and brainwashing people, so she doesn’t think they will ever get along.

Faith Seed: Ruth doesn’t like the young girl, no matter what happened to her in the past. She’s false, manipulative and somehow creepy. Besides, she still feels like she doesn’t know the whole truth about her. Her story was different every time they talked about it and in the end Ruth was so confused that she didn’t even know what to think anymore.

Earl Whitehorse: Her mentor and leader. He’s the best boss she could have ever hoped for and always agrees with his orders and decisions. She’s glad he didn’t retire as he said he would do, because she still needs him and couldn’t think of a better person to take his place.

Staci Pratt: They have a weird love-hate relationship. She finds him funny and annoying at the same time and likes to tease him whenever she can. They’re both pretty competitive and at the station they used to have contests of any kind,  struggling to decide which one was the better shooter, the better driver or the fastest eater. They make a good team, though.

Joey Hudson: They never got along, and Ruth doesn’t really know why. She always tried to be kind to the other woman, or at least reasonable and polite, but it simply wasn’t meant to be. Eventually they learned to coexist, but never became friends.

Cameron Burke: She doesn’t like him too much, but follows his orders anyway, as Earl told her to. He’s a powerful man, and Ruth tries not to contradict him, even though she doesn’t always agree with his plans.

Nancy: She always found her weird and false, too thoughtful and kind, but always thought she was harmless, and didn’t think for a minute that she would betray his coworkers and throw them to the wolves.

Dutch: Loves how grumpy he always is and kind of relates sometimes. They are so similar, so much that sometimes she thinks they might be related at some level. Even though she never admitted it to his face, she’s grateful for all he has done for her, saving her life and always watching over her, even from afar.

Nick Rye: He’s one of the best people she knows. He’s so honest and morally righteous, always so protective towards his beloved ones. With time he became one of her best friends, so much that she always brought him with her on her missions, as she knew she could always count on him and felt safe with him by her side.

Kim Rye: Her only female friend, she’d say. She would love to hang out with Kim and talk about all kind of stuff, from pregnancy to their future after the cult. She’s though, and sometimes Ruth asks herself who the real man in the family is, seeing how she handles Nick and their family.

Mary May Fairgrave: They have pretty similar personalities, so they don’t always get along and agree about their priorities, but Ruth knows she can count on her in times of need and never hesitates to ask her for help.

Jerome Jeffries: Ruth always finds his presence reassuring, his voice so deep and quiet and his heart so pure that she still wonders how could a man like that fight in the war. She likes to spend time with him when she’s in Fall’s End, and often asks him for advice when in doubt about whether she’s doing the right thing or not.

Grace Armstrong: She admires Grace so much, and would like to look more like her. The girl is tough but quiet at the same time, and Ruth knows they don’t necessarily have to fill in the silence when they’re together, so she turns to her when she needs help but doesn’t necessarily want to talk about it.

Sharky Boshaw: Hanging out with him is so much fun, especially when it comes to setting things  on fire and kicking some asses. He’s very plainspoken and direct, just like a child, but knows when not to judge and be comprehensive.

Jess Black: Jess’s been through a lot and Ruth knows that. She was horrified after hearing her story and what the Cook did to her family, and doesn’t blame her nor her desire for revenge, but she’s afraid that the anger will get her killed eventually, though the young girl is pretty good at killing peggies.

Eli Palmer: He was a good person, always so generous and confident and even though she was under the influence of Jacob and she wasn’t acting consciously, she felt so guilty when he died. He helped her when no-one did and literally saved her life, he trusted her and as a thank you she stabbed him in the back. But she knows he would have forgiven her and tries to live with her remorse.

Dawn Hayes: soon

Other information:

She used to box, it helped her blow off steam.

She was a loner in high school, never had any real friend, but loneliness never actually bother her.

She always wanted a little brother, someone to take care of, but her parents got divorced before she could even ask for it and her mother never remarried. She doesn’t consider his father’s children her real siblings, in part because she didn’t have time to familiarize too much with them, but also because she never really liked them, nor their mother.

She always wanted to be a cop, since she was a kid, but never thought she would be suitable for the job. When she was accepted to the police academy, she was so hyped up that started jumping across the house and almost fell down the stairs.

Has always been interested in stars and was particularly eager to learn all of their names when she was a child.

She loooves chocolate, could eat it all day.

Paces back and forth when she’s thinking or when she’s particularly nervous, cannot stay still.

She hates silence, always has to listen to some music or talk to fill it in, especially when she feels awkward or there’s tension in the room.

#ruth montgomery #deputy ruth montgomery #my ocs #far cry 5 oc #far cry 5 #farcry5

[betweensceneswriter]

Second Wife-Chapter 11 : Blind With Need

Second Wife Table of Contents

Second Wife on AO3

Previously -  Chapter 10 : Scarred The pains of Jamie’s past come bubbling to the surface.

“I didna think I should ever laugh again in a woman’s bed, Sassenach,” he said. “Or even come to a woman, save as a brute, blind with need…..”

“I willna say that I have lived a monk,” he said quietly. “When I had to—when I felt that I must or go mad—“

I laid my finger against his lips, to stop him. “Neither did I,” I said (Voyager 332, 330).

     Arousal was foreign to Laoghaire.  She felt hyper-aware of her body, the way her lower abdomen felt full and heavy, with a dull cramping that was almost like having her courses.  Her breasts and nipples ached slightly, making her want to either press her arms against them or to take off her corset, one of the two.  It made her recall when Joan and Marsali were infants and slept longer than usual, the way she would peek into their room to see if they were awake, desperate to put them to her breasts to ease the pressure. 

     The most disconcerting thing, though, was the wetness between her legs.  She had actually gone to the privy to see if her flow had begun again.  It shouldn’t be time—she’d only finished a week ago.  But there was no blood, just a copious clear fluid, and her parts had felt extremely sensitive when she wiped herself with a cloth.

     And all this, just from thinking about being with Jamie in the alcove those many years ago.

     She had wanted him once, back at Leoch, with a fierce hunger that made her wish to sneak into his quarters and offer herself; with a desperate need that drew her to seek him out and watch him wherever he was; with a possessiveness that turned her into a jealous fiend.

      But their marriage did not resemble those days of youth at all—they had been married for four months now, and they had really only been together as husband and wife once.  Jamie never approached her anymore, and she had become comfortable knowing that she was safe from his advances, his touches, and his body.  He had seemed fine as well.

     During their argument a night ago, he had made her clearly aware of how he felt.  He was not fine; he was furious.  Jamie had declared that he would rather sleep on a cold prison cell floor than in bed with her.  He considered her an icy bitch.

     And now he’d left the house, in what seemed a strange response to the girls asking him about his scars.  He hadn’t come back yet, and it was getting late.  She wasn’t certain he would even sleep in their bedroom at all tonight.  He had crept into the bedchamber just before dawn that morning, probably to keep up appearances for the girls, but walking past the guest room during the day Laoghaire had seen that the bed had been slept in.  He might sleep there again.

     What an irony, she thought bitterly, that the one time she might have responded to him, Jamie was nowhere to be found.

     It wasn’t like him to be gone this long, though.  Whatever flaws there might be in their bedroom, he was a good partner.  She’d gotten so used to Jamie’s active involvement in parenting that it seemed strange to have to tuck the girls into bed. 

     Joanie had been confused.  “Mama, where is Daddy?” she asked mournfully.  “Did I really upset him as Marsali said? I didna mean to.”  She started crying and clung to Laoghaire's neck.  “If Da comes in when I’m already asleep, will you tell him I’m sorry?”

     Marsali was also still teary and emotional.  “What happened, Marsali?” Laoghaire asked.  “You were talking, and Joan was looking at Jamie’s hands, and then he got upset.  Do you know why?”

      “I don’t, Ma,” said Marsali, pulling her covers up to her chin.  “But the look on his face...He wasn’t mad.  I can’t even say it was sadness.  He seemed upset, or maybe afraid, or just very empty.  All I know is that whoever did that to him is a very bad person.”

      Laoghaire was still sitting there, thinking, when she heard the latch quietly click open.

     It was Jamie, tip-toeing in.  He was surprised to see her up and sitting on the bed.

     “Laoghaire?”  He said.  “You are still awake?”

     “I was worried, James,” she said.  “And the girls were very sad—Joanie told me to make sure...”

     “I ken,” he said, regretfully.  “I stopped in and kissed Marsali goodnight, but Joanie needed me longer.  Poor wee thing is sleeping now.”  He stretched and laughed ruefully, seeming to work out a kink in his back.  “Her bed isna big enough for her and me as well.”

     Jamie looked haggard.  His eyes were red and slightly sunken, his face scruffy, it having been some time since his last shaving. 

     Laoghaire felt a strong sense of pity for him.  He was not a whole man.  The thoughts of the afternoon, the response of her body, his love for the girls, and the tug at her heart inspired her to reach out.  “Will you come to bed, then?” she asked.  Jamie stood by his wardrobe, silent. Laoghaire began to think he must have meant just to come in to get his clothing, and then to sleep in the spare room.

     But he turned to her, a look in his eye—just like Marsali had said—of bereft emptiness.  “Please, lass?” he said.

     Perhaps it would hurt less, as wet as she was, Laoghaire thought, looking down at herself, considering.  She was tired, but Jamie was always offering to help her undress.  Maybe it was because he wanted to be a part of the slow reveal, not just that he wanted to be helpful.  But tonight his reason did not matter.

     “Will you help me?” she asked.  She had unlaced the stiff bodice of her dress, but it was a relief to have assistance with the skirts and petticoats.  She unlaced her corset herself, not ready for him to be that close to her yet.

     Jamie removed his jacket and vest, then boots and breeks, until he was just in his shirt, and she was in her shift.

     She felt aroused still, but very shy.  Being with child had changed the shape of her body, and she never felt as beautiful now as she had been as a young lady.

     “Can we blow out the candles?” she asked.  Jamie obliged, until the room was dark save for the light of a sliver-thin new moon gently sifting through the window.

     Jamie reached for her, and the years faded away.  Under the cover of darkness, Laoghaire felt as if they were not two wounded middle-aged widowers in their second and third marriages.  He was Jamie MacTavish, dashing outlaw and brave rescuer, and she was Laoghaire MacKenzie, newly ripening castle beauty with a well-deserved reputation and a way with the lads.  His touch was familiar, but he was not particularly gentle.  And she did not need him to be.

      Jamie awoke to find the other side of the bed empty.  He had slept like the dead.  The draining emotions of the previous evening, paired with an oddly undramatic episode of copulation with his wife, and he hadn’t tossed and turned like he did many a night.

     It was probably the release.  God, it had been a long time.  He cringed slightly as he remembered their coupling.  There were definitely awkward moments.  They didn’t know each other’s bodies, so they kept clashing and bumping into each other.  She didn’t move with him, respond to him like Claire did, but she had invited him to her bed, and she was clearly ready for him—that was miracle enough.

     She was also silent, which in their case was an improvement, for her sounds their previous time had been in response to actual pain, not the pain-pleasure groans, moans, and sighs he remembered when making love to Claire. And she was not aggressive or rough with him—but that he had been grateful for as well.  With the girls pointing out his scars and bringing Black Jack Randall to his mind, he had needed nothing to even hint of violence.

     Jamie wondered what it meant for the future.  Had Laoghaire finally warmed to him?  Was it seeing him with the girls and having him compliment her cooking?  Was it hearing him finally speak his anger out loud? Or was it that he had seemingly respected her wishes by sending Fergus away?  She had no way of knowing that in the back of his mind he sent the lad away because he needed an escape plan.  As much as he loved Joan and Marsali, the marriage to Laoghaire had been a misguided attempt to give himself what he was missing.  But nothing could replace Claire, their child, or Willie.

     It seemed grim to foretell the future, but Jamie knew nothing ever lasted in his life.  It was as if there was a bomb buried deep in his soul.  Once again, the fuse had been lit, and though every once in a while it appeared that the spark had been quelled, moments would fan the flame, and he would again see his life destructing around him.

     But that was enough of thinking.  There was work to be done.  Jamie dressed and headed down the stairs.  He could smell Laoghaire’s cooking wafting all the way up to greet him before he even neared the kitchen.

      Laoghaire was standing at the wash basin in the kitchen when he arrived downstairs.  The table showed the evidence of two young ladies having already eaten—Joanie’s spot with its spilled milk, and Marsali’s with its neatly cleared and wiped surface. 

     The girls were nowhere to be seen.  In a moment of magnanimous gratitude, Jamie approached Laoghaire and patted her affectionately on the rump.

     Laoghaire whirled around, her hands sopping wet, held up defensively in front of her body.  “Don’t touch me,” she hissed.  Her nose and eyes were red and puffy.

     Jamie stepped back, stunned.  “Lass?” he asked.  She turned back to the dishes, and started sobbing, almost wailing.  He reached to pat her shoulder, but she must have seen his reflection in the glass, because she dodged him with a jerk before he could even brush against her.

      “Laoghaire,” he begged.  “What is wrong?”

     She shook her head, and kept weeping.

     Laoghaire didn’t speak to Jamie for the next three days.  She would speak to the girls.  But if he entered the room, she would turn away, looking out the window.  She would not meet his eyes.  In their bedroom at night, she clung so tightly to the edge of the bed that Jamie wondered how she was managing not to fall off. 

     He was bewildered, but beyond that he was frustrated.  When he went for a long while without bedding a woman, his body would forget.  But just one night with Laoghaire, and once again he was waking up with raging cockstands and an urgency to reach over to his wife, hoping for her to be warm and welcoming.  All that met him as he looked next to him was a form clad innocently in white muslin, guarded by an impenetrable wall of hatred.

      They had made love, Laoghaire thought.  It was tender and sweet and almost good.  She was glad he needed her, even if it was only mild pleasure she personally gained from the experience.  When he had spent himself, Jamie had kissed her one last time before he rolled off of her.  And before they fell asleep, he had put his arm over her and pulled her close.  For once, she didn’t mind.

     But in the hour before daybreak, he had cried out, awakening her.  He had clung to her, and she could hear him sobbing.  Speaking.  What was he crying out?  She turned her face toward him so she could hear her husband, so she could comfort him.  His eyes were closed, but tears were streaming down his face, his forehead wrinkled in pain.  And then she heard the words that cut her to the depths of her soul.

      “Claire…” her husband moaned, sobbing.  “Claire.  Claire.  Oh, God, Claire.”

On to Chapter 12: The Invisible Girl From the day Claire arrived, Laoghaire was invisible to Jamie.

#Jamie fraser #Laoghaire MacKenzie #CanonCompliant #Why did Jamie marry Laoghaire? #Why did their marriage fall apart? #Outlander fanfic #BetweenSceneswriter