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blueepink07 · 5 months

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Since we will get Kotoko's album in one day, which includes her VD from which most probably we will find more information about her motivations and her plans in Milgram, I decided to look a bit into her attacks during prison and how I imagine things happened! (I'm fully aware that I will most probably be proved wrong when the album drops, but I'm really curious if I can actually figure out most of what happened!)

Starting off, Jackalope informs us that the order in which Kotoko attacked is: Mikoto, Mahiru, Fuuta.

Which makes sense, considering that she attacked, in order, who is closer to her cell.

(Also fun fact! The prisoners are distorted according to how many injuries they have!)

What I want to answer, however, is how she managed to attack two people without being stopped.

Mikoto vs Kotoko

From Mikoto's VD, we find out that Kotoko has attacked, while John was distracted, giving herself a slight advantage.

"Es: Like you didn’t get beaten by Kotoko…! John: Hah. That was just because she caught me off guard. We went at it again while you were asleep, and it’s not like I lost there."

Considering that they fought some time and where evenly matched, there must have been a lot of noise, which should have alerted the others. In this attack, Kotoko didn't care much about how much attention she would attract. Why? Because the prisoners were already used with John's restlessness and they wouldn't dare to go near him. Hearing those noises didn't alert them much, because they maybe were too scared and didn't want to approach or thought it was just the usual.

As seen in many timeline posts, Mikoto is avoided. The only one who wished him Happy birthday was Haruka, whom we know that is currently isolating himself and didn't wish Mikoto a happy birthday this year too...

"Mikoto: The others told me about it. How I got into a fistfight with Koto-chan and whatnot. "Es: Seems like it, yeah. Mikoto: I wonder if it’s like… some kind of sleepwalking…? After all, I’ve been losing sleep more and more often recently… Man… It’s really troublesome, isn’t it? Es: Mikoto… Mikoto: The others are all scared of me. I can tell by looking at the way they act. Because I read the room."

Mahiru and Kotoko

From Shidou's VD, it is given the information that Mahiru suffered head injuries, more exactly head lacerations.

"Shidou: Shiina-kun’s is even worse. Head lacerations. Bruising all over her body. Left anterior compression fracture. A sprained neck. Fractured ribs. Further fracturing to the left arm. And furthermore… this may be outside of my profession, but her mental health is deteriorating as well."

These injuries are the aftermath of being hit by Kotoko.

Mahiru says some interesting things in her VD:

"Mahiru: … Ah, but this is… I think Kotoko-chan is the one who did it, so… you know? It’s not like it’s your fault. Um, so…! I’m not holding a grudge towards Kotoko-chan either. I’m sure she just thought it couldn’t be helped…"

This "I think" was always interesting to me. It implies that she is uncertain of the events that happened, like she wasn't there... Like she just a heard rumour from someone else...

However, she also tells this:

"Mahiru: … Ah– I– I—I’m sorry…! If– If you touch me so suddenly, it makes me remember… how it hurt… and I get scared…"

She remembers the pain, but not the person who hurt her. Keeping in mind that she also suffered from head trauma, I have thought that Mahiru must have lost consciousness, shortly after being hit, but not fully.

There are actually some levels of impaired consciousness, that can explain my assumption!

Confusion

Confusion is marked by the absence of clear thinking and may result in poor decision-making.

Disorientation

Disorientation is the inability to understand how you relate to people, places, objects, and time. The first stage of disorientation is usually around awareness of your current surroundings

Loss of short-term memory follows disorientation with respect to place.

Delirium

If you’re delirious, your thoughts are confused and illogical. People who are delirious are often disoriented. Their emotional responses range from fear to anger. People who are delirious are often highly agitated as well.

Lethargy

Lethargy is a state of decreased consciousness that resembles drowsiness. If you’re lethargic, you may not respond to stimulants such as the sound of an alarm clock or the presence of fire.

Stupor

"Stupor is a deeper level of impaired consciousness in which it’s very difficult for you to respond to any stimuli, except for pain."

Coma

Coma is the deepest level of impaired consciousness. If you’re in a coma, you can’t respond to any stimulus, not even pain.

From all of these, stupor seems to be what Mahiru experienced after being hit.

Stupor -> caused by head injuries, such as concussion or bleeding in or around the brain

"Stupor is characterised by impaired reaction to external stimuli. Those in a stuporous state are rigid, mute and only appear to be conscious, as the eyes are open and follow surrounding objects. If not stimulated externally, a patient with stupor will appear to be in a sleepy state most of the time."

If Kotoko hit Mahiru and caused her to have a stupor, Mahiru wouldn't even have the chance to yell or cry for help. She couldn't respond to any stimulus (sight, sound, smell, taste and touch), the only thing that she could feel was the pain.

It would make sense, in this case, for the other prisoners to be unaware of what was happening to Mahiru. Kotoko most probably made a surprise attack (as in John's situation), left Mahiru is a state of stupor and did further damage to her body.

"Kazui: I wonder. Maybe it’s because I’m used to violence. Even so… I couldn’t make it for Shiina-chan. I feel responsible for [what happened to] her."

Fuuta and Kotoko

Fuuta seems to have been fully conscious when he was being beaten up by Kotoko. He remembers every detail, unfortunately to him: the way he had been stepped on with the safety boot-like shoes, the beatings which made him think that he'll die. He even remembers Kotoko's motivations and beliefs! It's pretty likely that he was still conscious when Kazui protected him.

"Fuuta: Hey. Look at me. My right eye. It looks awful, doesn’t it? This is what happens when you get stepped on with those safety boot-like shoes. – Don’t recoil like that, that’s hurtful. According to Shidou, it’s likely that I won’t ever be able to see [with this eye] again. Sucks, huh."

"Fuuta: It hurt… It hurt so bad, I thought I was going to die. I was scared!"

"Fuuta: I mean, you forgave Kotoko, right? You affirmed her, right? Her belief that “it’s fine to do whatever to people who have done something wrong”. Es: How do you know about that…? Fuuta: She told me while she was beating me up. How she thinks it’s okay for her to do anything she wants to people who have done wrong, no matter the severity of their crime. And she left the judgment of that up to you."

What are your thoughts about Kotoko's attacks?

If Fuuta was conscious the whole time, his cries of pain or help surely must have been what alerted the other prisoners, who stopped Kotoko from doing further damage...

And so this is me trying to explain why the other prisoners noticed too late Kotoko's attacks!

I'm prepared to be proved wrong, but it was fun to write anyway!

#milgram #milgram theory #milgram kotoko #kotoko yuzuriha #milgram mahiru #mahiru shiina #mikoto kayano #milgram mikoto #milgram fuuta #fuuta kajiyama

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cienie-isengardu · 6 months

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Tomas & Liu Kang

I’m trying to put things into right perspective about Smoke, Liu Kang’s approach to Tomas and how pushed into background he was during story mode so bear with me while I’m connecting dots.

Also, to be clear, I’m not here to morally judge the characters, just to talk about the dissonance between Smoke vs Liu Kang intro dialogues and the story mode.

For one, the pre-fight dialogues imply that Tomas lost his family due to Liu Kang (Keeper of Time)’s choice:

Smoke: "Did you intend for me to be orphaned?" Liu Kang: "Some threads must be cut to weave time’s fabric."

and

Smoke: "I'm not sure I can forgive you." Liu Kang: "Being Keeper of Time meant making many hard choices."

When Tomas was orphaned, Kuai Liang & Bi-Han’s father adopted him and made one of Lin Kuei. If the accusation is true, then we can assume Liu Kang wanted Tomas to join Lin Kuei, as he did in the past timeline(s). So, in theory, Smoke for whatever reason was important enough for the Keeper of Time to get involved and steer events to get the wanted result.

Which raises a question, why did Liu Kang not bother to recruit Tomas into Lin Kuei the same way he recruited Kung Lao, Raiden, Johnny Cage or Kenshi, by like, actually talking to him and taking for training? Or even why not just ask the befriended Grandmaster to take the boy (and Tomas' family) under his wings, which I think the man would do without further question.

Instead, Smoke was orphaned, taken in by Lin Kuei, adopted as son of Grandmaster and trained in magic to equalize his chances in the fight (in contrast, Bi-Han’s ice powers seems to be a natural part of him, related to specific bloodline).

Now, if Tomas was so important, if not in the greater scheme of things, then just for Liu Kang (and Kuai Liang), isn’t it weird, he is so sidelined and omitted by Fire Lord in the story mode?

Again, not judging characters, solely pointing out this choice of storyline, as this is especially visible during collecting the champions for the tournament arc.

In Chapter One, when the test was over and Liu Kang came to Kung Lao and Raiden to explain things, he specifically called only Bi-Han (the current Grandmaster) and Kuai Liang (Bi-Han’s blood-brother)

while Tomas was totally omitted and stayed behind with the rest unnamed Lin Kuei warriors.

Which, visually speaking, is weird, as just before that scene we could see Smoke walking alongside his adoptive brothers (with Bi-Han leading the group, Tomas and Kuai Liang walking a bit behind their leader, but before the unnamed warriors);

In the next chapter, again, only Bi-Han and Kuai Liang assisted Fire Lord in his quest to recruit Johnny Cage and Kenshi. Again, both Lin Kuei were addressed by their birth names, instead of codenames

while there is no information why Tomas was left behind. He likely was entrusted with escorting Kung Lao and Raiden to Shaolin Monks, yet the lack of proper mention emphasizes the pushing into the background.

We didn't learn officially Smoke's status as adopted brother of Kuai Liang and Bi-Han until Sub-Zero's chapter (#8). Unless I miss something, the first person on screen to actually address Smoke by his birth name was surprisingly Bi-Han.

Which makes even weirder the lack of including of Tomas from Liu Kang, as the Fire Lord and Smoke stayed allies through the story mode and intro dialogues (with some resentment on Tomas' side for death of his family) while the relationship between Bi-Han and Tomas was much more complicated to begin with.

We could make an argument that Liu Kang didn't want to antagonize Bi-Han by including adopted Tomas too much, however:

A) Bi-Han has never denied Tomas right to consider himself one of Grandmaster's sons - seen especially in Sub-Zero's speech pattern, as Sub-Zero always says just "Father", the same as Tomas and Kuai Liang, never putting emphasis on "my" as a reminder Smoke is adopted. The real conflict is not about whether Tomas is his and Kuai Liang's brother or not, but about him being a true Lin Kuei. What is also worth to keep in mind, any tension between brothers happened only in privacy (here and during the mission), never around Liu Kang.

(A similar thing can be noticed in intro dialogues. In Smoke vs Sub-Zero, Bi-Han specifically says "Because your blood is not Lin Kuei" however in Liu Kang vs Sub-Zero, when Fire Lord claims brothers (plural version!) miss him, Bi-Han doesn't correct his opponent about Tomas not being one. He instead says "Then they shouldn't have disobeyed my commands.")

B) Liu Kang did not show Bi-Han any special respect, especially not the kind of respect and friendship offered to Sindel and her husband, Jerrod. And yes, Fire Lord mentioned Bi-Han before Kuai Liang, and addressed him during the meeting before the mission (while the Sub-Zero's younger brothers - subordinates - stood together in silence)

but that basically it? Bi-Han didn't seem to be favored in any special way, I don't think he even was addressed as Grandmaster by Fire Lord at any moment in story mode.

Which is why I personally don't see why Liu Kang would omit Tomas solely to not hurt Bi-Han's ego or to not antagonize the man further - especially since Bi-Han himself didn't push the matter in any specific - openly - way nor didn't deny Tomas the right to consider himself one of Grandmaster's sons in the first place.

Frankly, as we don't see how Lin Kuei were informed about the upcoming meeting, we should ask, did Liu Kang call Bi-Han and specifically Smoke and Scorpion for the mission, or was that choice made solely by Sub-Zero? Because Lin Kuei for sure must have much more experienced warriors that Tomas (and Kuai Liang for that matter) but also sending on dangerous mission the Grandmaster AND the second* in line of succession seems impractical from the perspective of clan' inner safety.

*second and third, if Tomas was allowed at all to be the heir. Considering how neither Smoke nor Scorpion even for a moment considered that option and how Sektor & Cyrax would choose Bi-Han's corruption of the clan before accepting Kuai Liang as a new leader, the inner clan politics may not be so simple.

During the Lin Kuei mission (Sub-Zero's Band of Brothers Chapter) and during Bi-Han's betrayal (Scorpion's Civil War Chapter), the three brothers didn't address each other by codenames and as much as the situation allowed, freely interacted with each other.

However once Bi-Han is removed from the story mode, Smoke is even more pushed into the background. When asked, he will answer and make some (one?) observation however he barely interacted with other characters, mainly sticking to his brother. The most important exception is the scene when the heroes were wondering what to do after the big revelation and Tomas on his own talked about Lin Kuei and Bi-Han.

The story mode at that time was focused on other characters (like Mileena & Shang Tsung) so understandably, Lin Kuei brothers were put aside however even then Scorpion played a vital part, as it was Kuai Liang making the plan of attack, when Liu Kang wasn't around, while Tomas for most part was just there.

Again, no moral judging of characters just a mere observation how Tomas interacted the most freely with his brothers while was omitted by Liu Kang - and like, never(?) addressed by him in story mode, either by name or codename, even if the intro dialogues strongly imply Liu Kang was the one pushing Tomas into Lin Kuei in the first place.

Which makes an interesting contrast to Bi-Han & Smoke’s relationship but also shows how without intro dialogues, the relationship between Tomas and Liu Kang seems… non existing? I mean, even at the end of story mode, Liu Kang mentions Bi-Han

and his brother Kuai Liang building a new clan,

yet there is literally no mention of Tomas and his participation in the creation of Shirai Ryu and training its members (something confirmed in Scorpion and Smoke's endings).

Which only add to the weird feeling of alienating Tomas in story mode, not by Bi-Han but Liu Kang of all possible people?

#mortal kombat #tomas vrbada #smoke #bi han #sub zero #liu kang #tomas vrbada & bi han #i'm still trying to figure out how i feel about liu kang and tomas relationship and how smoke was always omitted by fire lord #and like not addressed at all?#tomas aided him during fight against titan shang tsung then helped kuai liang to make a new clan and train new members #but at the end of story mode liu kang still talked only about bi han and his (blood) brother kuai liang?#c'mon man #tomas deserves some praise here too #and this is all even more ironic #as majority of fandom seems to think bi han hates tomas' guts for being adopted kid?? when he included him in his task for liu kang #and actually address his brother in the same fashion he talks to kuai liang (granted he is frustrated by both and the never ending talk #about father and traditions so he is short tempered toward both brothers)#but like story mode wise we can say tomas and bi han has some serious relationship going on #when liu kang alone doesn't include tomas in any specific way even though intro dialogues imply he wanted tomas to be lin kuei?#what i'm supposed to think? that liu kang did not know that tomas was adopted by lin kuei grandmaster that worked specifically for him #like everyone in lin kuei did for generations??#i'm pretty confused by this story's choices sometimes

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kyrieeleisonelise · 3 months

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Ai + Nino vs Ruby +Kana

The narrative is clearly drawing a parallel between Nino and Ai’s relationship compared to Kana and Ruby. Both involve a hardworking and talented girl (Nino and Kana) feeling growing resentment and bitterness when they are outshone by a newcomer who’s somewhat troubled, but has something ‘special’ about them, and gets favoured by others. (Ai and Ruby).

But how similar is the relationship? Is Ruby and Kana’s friendship just as doomed as Ai and Nino’s?

While they are only meant to be playing roles, it’s clear that Kana does have genuine resentment and jealousy towards Ruby. The fall out between them is real.

It’s not touched on much, but it’s mentioned a few times that Ai was favoured by management- Ichigo saw her as a daughter. Similarly, Miyako is Ruby’s adoptive mother, so Ruby does get favoured in the group.

We are shown just like Nino, Kana is completely outshone by Ruby as an idol. Ruby has more fans and gets more opportunities. Nino and Kana went from main-players to just backup for their more popular member .

Nino is still fixated on Ai, feeling intensely jealous and hateful of her, but also greatly admiring her and putting her on a pedestal. Kana has been shown to relate to these feelings more and more.

The latest chapter with Kana playing Nino and Ruby playing Ai shows how the original confrontation plays out.

Nino starts by expressing how lucky Ai is, and how much more popular she is. Nino isn’t initially overtly hostile, but is clearly upset.

But Ai is very dismissive. It’s not clear if she’s being dense/doesn’t know how to handle the situation, but it comes across like she just doesn’t care. She doesn’t stop eating her ice cream even when Nino is clearly upset.

Nino gets increasingly frustrated and escalated and says some awful things to Ai, but Ai seems almost completely unbothered, not even breaking her smile. When we saw current-Nino a few chapters back, this event and the following fallout has clearly still deeply impacted her.

Nino simultaneously hates and is obsessed with Ai.

Nino is resentful for what she feels Ai took from her, but the fact she was unable to move her emotions a little makes Nino interpret Ai as this almost superhuman infallible being. She puts her on a pedestal.

Nino was never able to resolve her issues with Ai, because from her point of view, Nino hated and admired Ai to such an extreme degree, and Ai didn’t particularly care at all. She was just a detached being who was vaguely ‘trying to love her’ even if Nino was trying to hurt her.

But did Ai really not care? Was she as unbreakable as Nino thought she was? Was she so detached from others that nobody could hurt her?

Not according to Ruby’s interpretation of her reaction.

With the latest chapter, we have the benefit of hearing Kana’s interpretation of Nino’s character.

As Kana is playing Nino, she realises that Nino and Ai probably used to be friends.

It could of just been an ordinary fight between girls, but because of Ai’s emotional walls the argument was never resolved and turned into a much, much bigger rift. Nino wouldn’t of been so upset with Ai if she didn’t originally think of her as a friend. This chapter seems to imply that Nino wasn’t just jealous of Ai, but also incredibly hurt when she felt she couldn’t reach her in any way.

Nino was deeply wounded by Ai’s seeming indifference to her suffering and to her vitriol. Not only does she continue to hate Ai for hurting her, she also admires her for her skill/talent and see’s her as untouchable and unmovable.

I explored it a bit further in a previous post, but I think Ai’s handling on Nino’s emotions was due to her lack of social skills/minimising as a defence mechanism rather than indifference.

Will Kana and Ruby end the same way?

I don’t think so.

Although Kana is in a similar position to Nino in the recent arc and there have been a lot of parallels, she is a very different character. Nino was a rookie idol and probably much younger than Kana at the time of the argument (if she’s the same age as Ai, probably about 14?).

Kana is a young adult whose spent decades in show biz and has more life experience than most people her age. Even though Kana has insecurities and can be impulsive/hot-headed she has had to be resilient to last as long as she has in show biz.

Ruby is by no means the first person Kana has had to compete against or felt jealous of. Show business is full of competition. Akane is Kana’s main rival for example. Akane has arguably more for Kana to be jealous of; she’s more successful as an actress and she was dating the boy Kana liked.

Although she is jealous of Ruby, Kana has enough self-insight not to completely loose her mind to it like Nino.

The only reason she originally expressed her resentment was to help Ruby act (although I believe this was a little extreme and misguided).

Kana’s maturity compared to Nino is evident throughout this chapter with her insightful analysis of Nino’s feelings/her relationship with Ai.

Nino doesn’t have the foresight to see how Ai’s background in a children’s home has lead to her developing maladaptive coping strategies. Kana is also able to recognise to an extent how Ruby’s difficult past impacts her behaviour, and has empathy for her.

Importantly, it’s been established multiple times that Kana’s speciality is acting. Although she does feel jealous of Ruby, part of her knows that ultimately being an idol isn’t her dream. Being an actress is. Kana can never surpass Ruby as an idol, but I don’t think Kana’s true-calling is to be an idol. Even during her argument with Ruby, she specifies that she can’t surpass Ruby as an idol.

Compared to Ai and Nino, where Ai is portrayed as a ‘better’ version of Nino (At least of Nino’s ‘ condensed character-type’ she portrays as an idol).

And Ruby? Ruby is very different from Ai. I’ve mentioned it before in a previous post that Ruby does hide darker parts of herself to an extent, but Ruby is much more open emotionally than Ai.

Just compare their reactions to their friend telling them to die/disappear.

Ruby does not hide that she is deeply, deeply hurt by Kana. Unlike Nino, Kana is never left feeling that Ruby never cared about their friendship in the first place.

Ruby allows herself to be vulnerable more than Ai ever could. While Kana admires Ruby, she doesn’t put her on a pedestal, she knows she isn’t a the ‘ultimate invincible idol’.

During Ruby’s black-star era/rise to fame she was so fixated on revenge that her friendship with Kana and Mem fell on the wayside, but it was clear she still cared about them.

The lead up to Ruby and Kana’s argument is complete different. Instead of being on completely opposite ends of the emotional spectrum, they’re both emphasising with each other; Ruby is worried how her performance will impact Kana’s career, and Kana understand Ruby’s desperation to do well in the movie.

I don’t know if Kana and Ruby will make up in the next chapter or if this argument is going to continue on. Ruby doesn’t seem to be in the best mental state, so she may not be ready to make amends with Kana immediately.

I have a feeling the emotions of the characters is going to continue to run parallel to the emotions of who they’re playing in the script.

But ultimately, I don’t think Ruby and Kana are doomed to follow in Ai and Nino’s footsteps. They are both different people.

I also wonder if Nino and Ai’s relationship would of ended differently if Ai hadn’t been killed. I think Ai matured a lot from her argument with Nino (14) compared to when she had her babies (16). If she hadn’t died, maybe Ai could of matured enough to communicate with Nino and Nino could of matured enough to understand Ai.

This is pure speculation, but I think Ai’s death traumatised Nino to the extent she is frozen in time, unable to move past her childish view of Ai as the perfect idol. A former friend who you wished dead actually getting killed has to be pretty traumatic (and of course, there’s always the possibility of Nino being involved in Ai’s murder which is another can of worms/ )

#oshi no ko #oshi no ko spoilers #kana arima #ruby hoshino #aqua hoshino #oshi no Ko analysis

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69misato69 · 1 year

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Genesis (Zhongli x Diluc) ✦ smut, 5k

archive of our own ✦ twitter ✦ masterlist

established zhongluc that never had sex before, diluc loses his virginity, both amab and cis (he/him pronouns)

cw: blowjobs, unprotected sex, ejaculation, overall heavy sexual themes

writer's note: explicit +18 content, please view at your own risk. thank you, have fun !

Top Zhongli x Bottom Diluc

Diluc turns over the page. He’s eager to find out what happens next, drunk on the story that he finds so captivating, and equally embarrassing. Zhongli also seems intrigued by the book he holds, though it is easy to guess that it’s likely a lot different than the story Diluc currently indulges in.

What will happen next? The couple finally got together after a heated, heartbreaking break-up. With them ending up at the woman’s house, tipsy and filled with the joy of reunion, naturally they are bound to have some intimate moments.

Intimate moments that Diluc likes reading about even though he has never experienced it for himself. The most he can relate to is the kissing, which he truly enjoys. Pressing his lips against Zhongli’s, how he always cups Diluc’s face gently.

The intensity, however, is still far from what he reads about. It can only match what happens before events escalate, and the duration is much longer. They kiss for hours, lazily lying on the bed, sitting at the dinner table, cuddling on the couch.

But then, nothing happens.

Either they fall asleep or one of them has to leave, something comes up before Diluc can muster up the courage to attempt more, and he knows Zhongli won’t initiate anything before he does, knowing that Diluc is not only inexperienced but also insecure about many aspects of his body.

Zhongli cherishes the fact that Diluc feels comfortable enough to open up about his issues and his lack of a sexual history, but to him, the fact that Diluc never aimed for something more is concrete evidence that he isn’t fully comfortable yet.

Zhongli doesn’t really see it as a ‘wait’, considering the possibility that it might never happen, which he is fine with. The things that made him fall in love with Diluc are far from physical reasons, they will always be there, and Zhongli will always feel lucky to exist in the presence of such light and beauty.

Despite all that, how Diluc slowly wiggles his legs extended onto Zhongli’s lap is a bit suspicious, especially when he fully retracts them and abruptly places the book facing down on the table.

“Are you alright?” Zhongli asks without looking up from the page.

Diluc clears his throat, “Yeah.”

He stands up, heading out of the room.

“Do you want anything?”

This time Zhongli does look at him, with a soft smile that forms on his lips involuntarily at the sight of Diluc’s baggy shirt, wrinkled pyjama pants and messy hair.

“No. Thank you, dear.”

Diluc hurries to leave, even faster when faced with Zhongli’s expression.

He stares at the book Diluc left on the table, still open at where he just left off.

Would it hurt to take a peek?

Meanwhile, in the bathroom, Master Diluc fights an opponent that is awfully difficult to rival.

A fire in his belly that should ideally go away, but refuses to do so. He tries to clear his mind of the filth he has just read, but it is a futile attempt. It infects him as much as the feeling of Zhongli’s legs under his own and the smile he just struck at Diluc.

On the contrary to what Zhongli assumes, Diluc is ready. He feels ready, but being inexperienced at an age such as his undeniably creates an immense amount of pressure, sending him spiraling into a state of anxiety.

Maybe today is the day he finally leaves it behind. He hopes, for it is getting harder and harder to restrain himself.

When he makes his way into the living room once again, a loud gasp escapes him.

Zhongli is leaning forward, holding Diluc’s book in his hand this time.

“Hey!” he protests, to which Zhongli slowly leaves it back on the table with a gentle thud.

“Oh, apologies.”

Diluc stands by him, looking down with arms crossed at his chest and brows slightly furrowed. Zhongli looks up at him innocently, as if he hasn’t just seen the most vulgar and explicit sentences ever written.

“Were you reading it?” Diluc raises one brow, trying to read his expression but failing to do so. Zhongli leans back again, his back meets the couch as Diluc stands between his parted legs.

“Just a few paragraphs, yes.” he admits.

“What do you think?”

Zhongli places one hand on his chin, pausing with a hum before elaborating, “It’s certainly very captivating. A bit unrealistic at times, but I believe that is necessary to an extent while writing erotica. It is someone’s lustful fantasies, after all, so I could overlook that.”

Seeing how he only speaks on the form and avoids saying anything about Diluc reading this obscenity, the redhead settles next to him.

He opens his mouth, then closes it again. A few more times, he knows Zhongli is patiently waiting for him to speak up.

“You know how to do all that, right?”

Curiosity eventually gets the best of Diluc.

“How to give a blowjob?”

Zhongli asks so casually, as if it is so inconsequential, as if it isn’t already making Diluc’s cheeks heat up.

“Yes.” he avoids looking at Zhongli.

“I believe so.”

Diluc nods, “Okay.”

But Zhongli doesn’t pick up his own book again, and neither does Diluc. There’s one more thing he wants to ask, and Zhongli is almost certain that the question is coming even though he is unaware of its content.

They sit side by side, their outer thighs barely touching, but Zhongli still can feel how warm he is.

“Would you…”

An almost unnoticeable pause, it’s too late to swallow it now.

“...teach me?”

“Oh?”

Oh.

Out of all the things he expected, Zhongli certainly hadn't seen this coming.

“Of course.” he hides his surprise.

Diluc scoots closer to him, which signals to Zhongli that it’s not a plan into the future, Diluc wants to learn now, right here.

He turns his head to face the redhead, smiling at how close they already are.

Staring at Zhongli, Diluc always realizes how much he has missed him. Even when they are in the same room, spending most of their days together, reading on the couch with Diluc’s legs over his lap, it doesn’t erase the never-ending yearning from his heart.

Diluc has heard the term 'honeymoon phase' before, referring to how couples can never get enough of each other during the first few weeks or months of their relationship, and he has waited. Waited for it to go away so his heart could stop sinking whenever Zhongli had to leave his side.

But it doesn’t.

Looking at him now, Diluc can’t focus on anything but the urge to press forward, so he does. He closes the gap between their faces, pressing a kiss onto Zhongli’s lips hesitantly. His confidence grows as Zhongli presses back, leaving gentle pecks on Diluc’s lower lip.

But then, the kiss deepens. Diluc can’t put his finger on it, but he feels his breath go shaky under Zhongli’s lips. It’s different from the comfortable, lax nature of their kisses. Diluc can feel the weight of it, and soon enough, Zhongli’s tongue slowly slithering into his mouth.

Diluc holds back a gasp and parts his lips, his chest heaves with excitement, unsteady breaths failing to catch up to the surge of adrenaline that roams his veins, until a hand reaches out for his, intertwining their fingers together.

Zhongli’s palm kisses his as his thumb brushes against the back of his hand soothingly.

Zhongli is comfort and safety, exuding warmth in a drastically different way from Diluc.

Diluc finds his own flames destructive, frivolously impulsive at times, ready to devour all in his path, sometimes ripping out beloved things from his heart as well.

The damage he inflicts is irreversible, unpredictable and dangerous. Bright flames that burn all to ashes and then burn the ashes themselves until there is nothing left.

Nothing left to bloom, even the soil fried away with unbridled rage.

Zhongli, on the other hand, his warmth only ever comforts Diluc. Compared to himself, Zhongli is like the sun. His rays shining down on you from afar, too gentle to hurt. He lights up the path, uncovers the unknown, conquers all that one might fear.

As strong as Diluc’s flames, but instead dissipating in the air, entering all with the intention to nurture, to preserve. Seeping into the deep cracks inside Diluc’s heart, he fills them with love and light, patching up all his wounds and restoring the sparkling pupils of his broken smile.

Diluc feels so weak against him, but so strong with him.

He crumbles under Zhongli’s movements, how he holds his face and roams the inside of his mouth with his tongue, tugging at Diluc’s bottom lip with his teeth teasingly.

When they’re both out of breath, Zhongli pulls away, the two pant into each other’s mouths lustfully as Diluc’s heart thumps on his ribcage.

Zhongli tangles his fingers in the silky, crimson red locks, “It's important to prepare your partner mentally, first. The body responds faster than the mind when it comes to these matters, at least based on what I have observed.” he explains in an impressively level-headed manner. Diluc doubts that he could put two and two together, let alone speak this eloquently while the strange yet beautiful sensation invades his mind.

Zhongli’s hand travels down to his neck, then over to his chest and his tummy. Though, with no grip, only fingertips brushing against Diluc’s clothes and eventually stopping at his lower-abdomen.

“May I touch you?” he asks over a kiss he places right below Diluc’s ear, sending a shiver down his spine.

Diluc would slaughter an entire Fatui camp on his own for Zhongli to touch him. Well, truth be told, he would also slaughter a Fatui camp for fun.

He nods, and Zhongli lightly palms over his erection.

“Please stop me if you feel uncomfortable.” he presses another kiss on Diluc’s lips. He feels more than comfortable, fighting the urge to grind up into Zhongli’s hand as his fingers move over the outline of the thin fabric.

“You ease into it. Because it feels pretty selfish when someone else is doing all the work. So they should feel that…” Zhongli’s lips hover over his neck, “...you're excited about it as well.”

He leaves a wet trail with his tongue, gently sucking and brushing against the sensitive skin with his teeth.

“That you don't see it as a chore, and you wish to please them, truly.” Zhongli’s hand finally slips inside his underwear.

Diluc already feels like he could release at any moment, his jaw clenches, yet a sharp hiss escapes from in between his teeth. Fingers that are cooler against his burning skin, wrapping around his core that desperately, hungrily begs for attention.

Zhongli slides forward and back, pushing his thumb into the slit, eliciting muffled noises of pleasure between Diluc’s erratic breaths.

Zhongli perfectly feels how flustered he is, working Diluc out until he’s close and then slowing down purposefully. Compared to his usual self, Diluc is much easier to read now that he squirms and pants under his touch.

Even with his attempts to silence himself, Zhongli can expertly calculate an ideal course of action. It is a situation he wants to handle as delicately as possible, but with Diluc turning into a sweaty mess with every passing minute, Zhongli doesn’t want to let him go. His heavy-breathing is music to his ears.

He retracts his hand, getting ready to settle between Diluc’s legs as the redhead tugs on his shirt.

“What’s wrong?” Zhongli kneels down on the floor, looking up at Diluc when what the motion indicates is already clear.

“Take it off.”

Diluc immediately regrets speaking up. His voice is so hoarse, so needy, it even cracks a bit towards the end of his sentence, yet he notices the sparks that light up in Zhongli’s eyes.

He hums, swiftly removing and folding the shirt as Diluc hurriedly tosses his away.

With a look of confirmation, Zhongli rids Diluc of his pants and underwear as well, leaving him completely naked on the couch with precum dribbling down his tip.

“You can also lay on top, but I personally find this angle more comfortable. It’s easier to move around since your head isn’t weighing down.” Zhongli continues the class calmly as the vibrations of his voice send a twitch into Diluc’s cock.

More comfortable. How many times has he done this, Diluc can’t help but wonder.

“There's no need to rush, take your time and start out slow.”

With his last piece of advice for the moment, Zhongli leans forward, one hand stroking Diluc’s thigh and the other wrapping around his base. He licks off an incoming drop of precum forming at the slit, swirling his tongue around the tip at an excruciatingly slow pace.

Diluc can’t tell what he feels, a sensation that could easily make him cry if he wanted to.

Zhongli’s beautiful eyelashes flutter, looking down as Diluc watches him intently. He grips tightly to his seat when Zhongli begins to work his way down, tongue slicking Diluc diligently.

But just as he expects Zhongli’s lips to close around him, he pulls away.

“It is pretty sensitive, and your mouth is warm and soft, so as long as you keep your teeth out of the way, it can't be too bad.” he smiles while Diluc shuts his mouth tight to hold back a whine.

“You conceal them with your lips and ideally flatten your tongue, and there should be plenty of space.” he explains and then illustrates the desired shape with his lips.

“Understood.” Diluc replies, in hopes that it will help him get back to it as swiftly as possible.

Luckily, Zhongli doesn’t waste another second before entertaining his silent request.

Soft lips engulf him, inch by inch. Diluc freezes, static as a statue except for his heaving chest and the drops of sweat trickling down from his forehead.

It feels absolutely heavenly when Zhongli reaches the base, bobbing his head back and forth while attaining a slow rhythm.

Diluc moans, glued to the seat. He can't peel his eyes away from Zhongli. Diluc wants him to look up, to see his face clearly while his lips are stretched over his cock. Unfortunately, his state isn't quite ideal for speaking. As if he can read Diluc's mind, Zhongli suddenly looks up, pushing himself all the way forward until the tip is captured by the back of his throat, an area so tight that a few drops leak from Diluc as he stops himself mid-orgasm.

A sharp pain settles on his groin, a groan from Zhongli's lips vibrates around his cock when he finally gets a taste. Diluc's resolve is impressive, but Zhongli is dedicated to break him down. He gags again, this time staying out for longer and swallowing loudly so that his throat contracts around Diluc.

Too much to handle, especially as Zhongli looks up at him daringly. Diluc's head falls back, gaze now facing upward while he tries to steady his breaths to the best of his ability.

Zhongli doesn't hold back, choking and gagging, somehow very elegantly, until he pulls away, out of breath with his cheeks flushed, “And of course, take breaks when you get tired.” he advises, one hand wrapping around Diluc’s cock so that he doesn’t suffer from a lack of stimulation.

Only this time, even his hand is enough to drive Diluc insane, oversensitive and slippery with Zhongli’s saliva.

“What do you like?” he asks softly.

Diluc feels his limbs freeze once again, too shy to gaze down at Zhongli so he keeps watching the ceiling trying to understand the question.

“Anything that stands out?” he rephrases.

Diluc can’t think of a non-vulgar way to phrase it, and realistically he is enjoying all that Zhongli has been doing up to now. “W—why do you want to know?” he asks abruptly, making Zhongli chuckle.

“Well, it can serve as a guide, trying things you like on yourself when you're with a partner. You don't have to tell me, of course. But coming up with an answer might help you out as well.”

Diluc takes a deep breath, neck still resting on the couch. He truly wants to tell Zhongli, solely for having him do more of it, the thing Diluc has taken a liking to almost immediately. He wants to tell Zhongli what it is, to let him know how much it riles him up, to beg for more.

“I like the thing where you... When it was... deep and you... gulped.” he sloppily gets it off his chest, sounding a lot less distinguished than he originally planned.

Zhongli hums, his warm breath hovers over Diluc as he pushes him all the way back into his throat without a warning.

“Fuck.” Diluc gasps, incoherent moans and pleas involuntarily leave his mouth while he trembles and fights back the tears of pleasure forming on the corners of his eyes.

“Keep doing that. Zhongli—I'm gonna—hah…”

It’s his most successful attempt to form a sentence, cut-off again, not because of Zhongli, but because of his own hips spasming intensely as he spills down his throat. Though Diluc can’t see, he can feel the abnormal amount he produces, a heavy load that Zhongli silently drinks up.

When Diluc is finally done, Zhongli pulls back, leaving gentle, soothing strokes all over his thighs to help him come down, “Was that helpful?”

Diluc lets out a long, relaxed exhale, gaining composure once again.

“Very much so. My turn, now.” he slides off the couch onto the floor.

Zhongli’s eyebrows raise, in awe of how Diluc wants to go on despite his spent and drained body, “Oh, you're going to... Now?”

“Well, how can I get better without proper practice?”

Zhongli smirks, an eager scholar, he is pleased to find out.

They switch places, Zhongli’s pants are lowered to his ankles quickly. Diluc places his hands on his thighs and raises to meet his face.

He rubs his cheek on Zhongli’s neck lovingly, like a grateful cat he snuggles over his chest, knees already aching over the hardwood floors.

Zhongli’s fingers run through his hair as he leaves the crook of his neck to face him.

“I'm not saying this because of what you said earlier but, I really do want to do this. The books are... something I have indulged in ever since I was a teenager, I don't think much of them. But now they… make me think about…”

Diluc falters.

“What I mean to say is that I find myself imagining—”

The words stay put in his throat no matter how much he wants to push them out. How he wants to tell Zhongli that all he can think about while reading those novels is him. Usually not the story behind it, as he doesn’t particularly enjoy the tropes, the miscommunication, occasional cheating, the unhealthy dynamics and the fights.

His reality is so much better than those poor characters suffering, but as soon as things get hot and heavy, he can’t help but picture himself under Zhongli, moaning and writhing.

“Imagining us?”

Zhongli finishes the sentence for him, hoping to put an end to his misery.

Diluc nods, abashed of the thoughts that cross his mind.

“I'm embarrassed to ask, but… I really want to—learn how to please you.” he settles on the floor fully without looking up, eyes lingering on Zhongli’s lean muscles, his beautiful hands that rest over his thighs.

Excitement and sudden confidence runs through Diluc’s body, realizing how close he is to touching Zhongli, to tasting him for the first time.

He looks up, “It’s a book after all, so I can’t hear it but—how would you sound? I would like to hear it.”

“I would never deprive you of it, my dear.” Zhongli replies sincerely.

Diluc gulps. He wants to see this man euphoric, wallowing in lust, having the best time of his life. He wants to make Zhongli feel as good as he does him, not right away of course, but over time.

Diluc wants to find out every little thing that makes his heart skip a beat.

But, even a journey of a thousand miles starts with a step, so he takes it. Slowly, wrapping his tongue around Zhongli, trying to emulate it the way he did.

Seeing how hard he is helps Diluc build more confidence. Zhongli almost fully erect just from sucking him off, an enticing sight.

After a few, long drags with his tongue, he envelopes Zhongli within his lips, moving down carefully not to hurt him. He tries to go off of what he knows, even though he has no experience with this, Diluc masturbates occasionally. Not so frequently when they are together, but a slightly concerning amount when Zhongli is away.

Despite being very intelligent, Master Diluc fails to notice the pattern.

What he knows for sure is the existence of a few sensitive spots that drive him insane, so he tries to simulate the movements of his hand with his tongue, sucking on experimentally at those areas, until he hears a grunt.

He stops, then laps his tongue over Zhongli’s base again to receive a similar reaction.

An experiment.

To see if it was an accidental noise, yet it arises again.

Diluc looks up, he gazes deep into Zhongli’s eyes and repeats the motion one more time.

His eyebrows, even if it’s for a split second, create a desperate look of pleasure before settling into their original places.

Delicious, something so miniscule but enough to make Diluc grin mischievously.

He continues, generously abusing the weakness he has stumbled upon.

The side of the couch squeaks, Diluc doesn’t need to take a look to know that it’s Zhongli’s fingers squeezing the fabric tightly.

He now feels more confident about taking him in even though he struggles to go all the way, but watching how Zhongli’s amber pupils light up motivates him.

Until Zhongli tenses up with a sudden hiss, “Teeth, Diluc.”

He pulls back anxiously, noticing how he was slipping up.

“I’m sorry.”

Zhongli cups his face as the sharp, momentary sting vanishes, “It’s okay. It’s a bit hard to adjust.” he coos, “You’re doing great. Are you tired?”

“No. Can I go on?”

Zhongli smiles, who is he to say no when Diluc asks with that flustered expression?

“Of course, I’m all yours.”

All his.

Diluc wants to feel it in a different way tonight. He yearns for Zhongli to claim him, to hold him close and utter his name in lust.

It encourages him even more, so he slides forward until the tip of his cock reaches the back of his throat.

Zhongli gasps, caught off guard since it isn’t the most beginner-friendly technique. It is a bit sloppy, how he fails to close his mouth properly due to the intrusion, but it is such a tight space that Zhongli can’t help but groan.

Diluc repeats the motion a few more times, continuing regardless of the gagging and choking he has to suffer through. Primarily because he finds the feeling of fullness a lot more enjoyable than he anticipated, and also because he doesn’t want to stop drinking up the sweet sounds that spill from Zhongli’s lips.

Diluc reaches for his hand, dropping it at his hair as Zhongli latches on. His movements are a bit weaker, turning slapdash as he gets more tired. Zhongli takes over, seeing that he wants to continue but is too exhausted to do so.

He slides Diluc’s head back and forth, impaling his throat with every thrust as their moans fill the room. Though, when Zhongli feels close, he pulls the redhead away. Even if he’s doing alright so far, the taste is less than pleasant.

Diluc doesn’t protest. He watches, mesmerized as Zhongli gives himself a few harsh tugs and releases down Diluc’s chest. The rush is unmatched, hearing low grunts and watching Zhongli shut his eyes tightly as warm liquid drips down Diluc’s skin.

Both out of breath, they spare a few moments to calm down before Zhongli leans forward to clean him up with his shirt.

He holds Diluc by the neck, pressing a loving kiss on the top of his head as Diluc holds onto his wrist. He raises his face up to Zhongli, longing for their lips to touch with an unchaste gaze.

But they don’t until Diluc slowly climbs up to his lap, sinking with a sigh as his own saliva wets his thighs. Zhongli’s arms wrap around his waist, admiring his beauty, kissing at his blushing cheeks and pulling him even closer.

Diluc sloppily traces his lips with his tongue, pushing it into Zhongli’s mouth zealously.

His body trembles and melts under Zhongli’s touch even when he’s barely doing anything.

One of his hands trails down, brushing lightly against his entrance.

Diluc breaks away from the kiss with a laugh, ticklish at the smooth touch. Zhongli smiles, the sound of his laughter that he absolutely adores. He’s the only person granted the opportunity to hear it everyday, and he holds that blessing near and dear to his heart.

Zhongli adjusts his grip, pressing a finger more firmly against his hole, careful not to tickle him, “Better?”

Diluc hums, eager to have him inside. And when Zhongli finally pushes in, a sensation Diluc only knows from his own fingers, turns into something that makes his entire body jolt instantly. The silly smirk lingering on his face leaves its place to eyes veiled with desire.

“Beautiful.” Zhongli coos, retracting his hand and pushing forward again.

“Zhongli…” Diluc wavers, its intoxicating, lighting a spark of greed in his lower belly.

“You are.” Zhongli holds him in place by the waist, “The prettiest one I have ever laid my eyes on. Inside and out.”

He adds another finger, seeing how Diluc is already grinding down at his hand, “I am truly lucky.”

Diluc buries his head in Zhongli’s neck, inhaling the sweet, oaky scent, allowing his fingers to stretch him out.

He loves Zhongli, and he loves being loved by Zhongli. For once in his life, Diluc feels deserving of someone’s affection.

“I love you.” he breathes out.

This time, his declaration is feral, not only from the heart but also from between his legs, kissing up at the man that overwhelms him with pleasure, whispering in his ear how much he needs him.

Zhongli pulls his fingers out, jerking himself a few times before lifting Diluc’s hips and lining up under his quivering hole.

Diluc hisses at the intrusion, eyes widening at the girth as he second-guesses whether he can take it all in. His muscles tense up, it gets gradually harder for Zhongli to work his way through.

“Breathe.” he brushes the sweaty red strands away from Diluc’s face, “We’ll stop if it’s too much.”

Diluc submits, clearing his head, taking a deep breath and releasing the strain on his lower body. Eventually, he feels himself become more spacious, allowing more to slide inside with ease. Soon the pain vanishes, leaving only waves of pleasure that ripple through his body.

Sounds and expressions that Zhongli only recognizes from the battlefield, only when Diluc is consumed, but now without his brows furrowed with rage. A complete lack of fury and an abundance of passion, a rare occurrence for Master Diluc.

Zhongli pushes him all the way down, brushing against his prostate experimentally, but Diluc remains undisturbed. He growls for more, now assisting the movements with his hips as well.

Zhongli leaves kisses on his chin, happy to notice a look of pride on Diluc’s face, "Knowing what a rebellious spirit you are, should I be flattered that you're so obedient with me?" he jests, voice so raspy that it makes Diluc’s insides squirm.

"Simply because you have more experience in the field."

Diluc feels his hips get raised again, but the plunge he anticipates doesn’t follow. Zhongli tilts his head slightly to the side, keeping only the tip inside.

"Ah. So when you're well-versed, you'll be ordering me around?" he brushes his nose against Diluc’s as the redhead cups his face.

"Would you like that?"

"Oh, absolutely. Command suits you, my love."

Zhongli’s eyes darken, a bright light flashes across his pupils when Diluc attempts to wiggle his hips down.

"Then you should teach me well." he hisses, prayers answered in a more aggressive manner than expected when Zhongli harshly slams him down, tip digging into his prostate viciously.

Diluc’s eyes widen, a shrill cry at the pleasure and pain and the brutal stretch as Zhongli splits him open.

"Good enough?" he licks at Diluc’s parted lips.

Diluc’s heart drops all the way down to his stomach, his limp body collapses onto Zhongli, yet he holds on tight.

“Keep… going…” he whimpers, allowing Zhongli to fuck him senselessly while his own bodyweight further facilitates the intensity of his deep thrusts.

Zhongli holds him close, proud of his beloved for handling it so well. So tight for him, inviting and warm. Daring and cheeky. Shy. All facets of Diluc he witnesses during daily life, packed into one moment.

“I’m glad to be your first.” Zhongli can’t help but remark.

It’s a sentence he never expected to utter, considering how the concept of virginity matters so little to him compared to mortals. But it is important to Diluc, being able to open himself up, lucky enough for it to be with a person who has cherished him deeply for years, someone who has never passed down judgment on him even during his darkest hours.

Seeing Diluc comfortable and content, Zhongli would sacrifice his all for such a noble goal.

Diluc wants him to be the second and the third, the hundredth and the thousandth. He wants all of Zhongli, and he wants nothing but him. No one else wrapping their arms around him, no one else running their fingers through his hair.

“Be my last, Zhongli. Promise me.”

He watches a glossy layer set over Zhongli’s eyes before warmth overtakes them both.

“I promise.”

#genshin impact #genshin fanfic #genshin fanfiction #genshin smut #genshin fluff #mlm #genshin zhongli #genshin diluc #zhongluc #zhongli x diluc #mlm smut #diluc smut #zhongli smut

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cutephlegm · 2 months

Text

Something red

III - Bitter kisses

Pairing: Gortash x reader

CW: NSFW

Read on Ao3

Summary: Gortash invites you to discuss your proposition, things get heated.

You felt your head spin, standing at the foot of Gortash’s office. Adrenaline coursed and pumped through your shivering body. A strange nausea writhed in your gut… The anticipation was killing you.

You thought back to just a few hours earlier- when you felt as if you could say anything, without Gortash’s judgement- Alcohol was a formidable thing. The many conversations you’d exchanged had brought you closer… and likewise driven you mad with lust, lips desperate, craving a certain dark-haired gentleman. You fool.

The banquet was supposed to be a crucial step in progressing your career, yet you’d surely made a fool out of yourself in front of the soon to be archduke of Baldur’s Gate. Although, in your drunken stupor you couldn’t quite remember exactly what you’d said… perhaps for the best.

Truthfully though, although you were a nervous wreck at the prospect of the tyrant inviting you to his office, for a personal meeting, a tiny part of you was excited. Perhaps Gortash would even take you up on the silly offer you’d suggested. It wasn’t the worst idea you could’ve proposed… surely, he had at least found it entertaining. Perhaps he had invited you here to let you down softly- although that didn’t seem very in character for the infamous lord Enver Gortash.

You braced yourself and took a final breath of air. It was noon and you weren’t about to keep him waiting. Your hand hovered over the door handle; this could possibly destroy your career if not handled well…

Before you could even knock, the door swung open. You found yourself stood face to face before a familiar man. You stiffened. His shocked expression quickly shifted to a calm bemusement as he took a step back from you, his eyes darting between the floor and your embarrassed expression. “I wasn’t expecting you to be so eager to see me…” His voice was unapologetically smug, your heart couldn’t help but stutter to the sound of it. You immediately recalled the things you’d felt the night before. You averted your eyes towards the floor.

“It’s noon, is it not?” “Correct, my dear, you’re pinpoint on time. I would’ve thought you’d be a busier woman.” He backed into his office, beckoning you to follow. “Well, I’m not one of your clients, Gortash. I work for you; it would be unprofessional to be late.” You followed his lead, sitting at the chair he gestured you to. It didn’t take long for you to notice two glasses, side by side, accompanied by a bottle of fine, luxurious whisky. You hadn’t thought that you’d feel so… at ease, yet you did.

“Oh please, don’t be so formal. This isn’t some work related event… this is a meeting between peers.” Gortash purred, his smooth voice raising goosebumps on your skin. You raised a brow, watching on as Gortash poured the fiery liquid out. “How so…?” “Well… I thought about your silly little proposition… and I found that it would benefit me, as it would you, of course.” As he spoke, he seemed to be in the midst of pondering to himself, an index handily placed on his chin. “In other words, you’re no longer my secretary… you’re much more than that.” His eyes skimmed over the piles and piles of unread letters scattered around his desk before resting back onto you.

You stood still, not daring to open your mouth before you could figure out how you felt. You weren’t sure that this was a bad thing… all the luxuries that would come with being involved with a man like Gortash… even if it was just a facade. It certainly dwarfed your current lifestyle, that of a humble woman who didn’t often treat herself to luxuries. You hummed to yourself, taking a sip of the liquid. It was disgustingly bitter, tasting like bile and burning the back of your throat as you swallowed it. You cleared your throat. He smirked devilishly as he noticed your grimace, taking a sip himself. “Well… I’m not disappointed by that news…” You could barely hide your disbelief at it. In honesty the proposition had simply been a stupid drunken thought nothing more, you hadn’t expected much from it, you silly thing.

Every time you were this close to the lord you noticed small details about him, the unkemptness of his hair- or the dark circles that always lingered under his tired eyes. It made him look even more handsome in a strange way. Those eyes were now firmly fixed onto you.

An hour had passed and you had hardly noticed it, you were so busy listening to the conditions Gortash had come up with, things such as where you would stay, who you would be allowed to interact with, etc… There weren’t any with particularly stood out to you. They were all reasonable considering what you would be receiving.

“…And that seems to be just about it.” Gortash paused, a dangerous glint in his eyes. “However- before I send you on your way, I’d like to know something, wife.” He mocked, though you weren’t sure how you should feel as when he called you by that, as stupid as it sounded it made your chest tighten. You’d rather warmed up to the lord, so this question didn’t strike as much fear as it would’ve usually. “Of course, do ask.” You responded, the kindest smile you could muster stappled onto your lips.

“Is this strictly business to you?” Gortash’s tone was curious, although you could spot something much darker. You felt your blood run cold as his eyes continued to relentlessly bore into you- he was good at building tension. “The way you behaved the last I saw you, was remarkably friendly…” His eyes narrowed as he likely noticed your face redden. “…Although you’re very welcome to prove me wrong.” He averted his gaze to the empty glasses of wine you’d gone through in that past hour, a suggestive smirk crossing his lips.

“Huh I was simply being… polite.” You lied through your teeth. “Were you now?” You paused. Could you lie your way out of this, It was probably unwise to be so considering how you he had already caught onto you… curse you, Gortash…

“Fine… I suppose you’re… not mistaken.” You admitted, with a sigh. “It’s irrelevant though-“ Gortash cut you off, tutting to himself. He stood up from his seat. “It’s very relevant.” He said sternly, although his expression was softer, you couldn’t quite make it out…

His eyes pried into you, deciphering, scheming… as he walked over to the chair you sat in. “I must admit, you can be rather bold at times.” You could feel your body going numb as he looked down at you, with unbridled curiosity. “I admire that in a person.” “…Where is this going, Gortash…?” You raised a brow. “Come here, and find out.” He rested an arm on his desk.

You couldn’t help but listen to him, it was like your body was moving on its own. You stood up, taking a few apprehensive steps in his direction, was this really about to happen? You were so close to him, you could feel the warmth radiating from his body, smell the bitter alcohol on his lips… you wanted a taste. You cleared your throat, now only mere inches away from each other. “What do you want from me?” You asked, a breathless mess. It was embarrassing really- you hadn’t had as much romantic experience in the past… you hoped he wouldn’t notice.

He stood still, looking down at you, you wished that you could hear his thoughts, for there were surely many coursing through his brain at this very moment. “Did I misread you, Y/N?” He narrowed his eyes, a smirk still plastered on his face. “Perhaps you’re not a sharp as I thought.” Gortash scoffed with the sentence, turning his head to the side. “Well, I mustn’t dawdle, I shall get back to work I have-“ “Wait-“ Your hands were suddenly on his chest, grasping at the expensive linen. You couldn’t believe your eyes- that you were really doing this… what had gotten into you!?

Gortash clearly shared the same sentiment, his body was stiff under your touch, his hands grasped at your wrists, pulling you away from him before he paused, looking back down at you again. Not one work escaped either of your lips, as soon you were fighting for air against each other.

He kissed you tenderly, passionately… his hands settled on your hips, pulling you into him. You felt him smirk against your lips, before he pulled you even further into him, your hands finding themselves to unbutton his shirt. The taste of whisky, the way his knee had ended up between your legs… his firm grasp on you… it drove you mad. His eyes followed yours, a smirk creeping onto his lips once he noticed how red your face had become.

You broke free from the kiss, breathless and flustered, he opened his mouth, but before he could even get a word out you kissed him harder, pinning him back again his desk, sending paperwork scattered onto the floor. You took immense pleasure in hearing noises of shock from the tyrant, as you dug your teeth into his lips. Not long after you notice the taste of blood seeping into your mouth, Gortash let out a muffled yelp and he pulled away from you, warm blood gushing down his chin, perhaps you’d bitten him a little too hard…

“You-“ He stopped himself, before a dark grin appeared on his lips. “You are done for.” Before you could react, he had you pinned against his desk, your hands found their way back to claw at his shirt, pathetically trying to remove it. “Patience,” He purred at you, his hands sliding to the sides of your thighs, tracing soft circles on your skin. Your eyes widened slightly as you felt his hands creep higher and higher up your tights, up your skirt… You were a mess, already throbbing with need, if only he could feel how badly you wanted him… Although knowing Gortash, he wouldn’t care, he took pleasure in being cruel.

It didn’t take long for his fingers to trace around you, his touch was light and brief, leaving you craving for more. Yet it soon ramped up in intensity, he dragged a thumb across you, hooking a finger onto your tights, pulling them and your underwear down with expertise. You could tell this wasn’t the first time he’d done this; he was strangely skilled at it.

He continued teasing you, rubbing against the soft fabric, earning a stifled gasp. You could feel the moisture gather as he continued- ceaselessly dragging his fingers backs and forth, in circles, softer, harder, faster, slower… you could see stars. You weren’t sure if he could tell how much you enjoyed this, that is until you heard your own sounds.

You were beginning to lose all of your remaining composure, your blushed face was now red, sweat hot and sticky has accumulated on your face, your palms, your chest… it all felt so feverish. However, Gortash was his usual self, not a hint of anxiety. You scowled, you wanted to wipe that stupid grin off his face, make him shiver like he had done to you.

You needed him, you craved him. Without thinking twice, you trailed a hand down his chest, his abdomen, arriving at his belt. Gortash stiffened, his eyes darted to where your hands were now positioned, already busy getting rid of the obstacle. “Did you not hear me, woman? Be patient.” He snarled at you. He was bad at hiding his arousal… You grinned at his words before shutting him by pulling him into another deep embrace.

The two of you indulged in each other before one thing led to another and now his fingers trailed around your entrance, rubbing you, teasing you. Before you could even make a noise two fingers plunged inside of you, earning a soft gasp you tried to muffle. You were ashamed to admit, that even his fingers made you wince. You hadn’t expected to be that big… you couldn’t imagine what…

Before you even finish that thought his fingers were moving in and out of you. He curled them, hitting spots you didn’t know a person could hit. You took in a sharp breath of air, trying not to make as much noise as you wanted to. He couldn’t find out how much you were enjoying this…

While he moved his two fingers inside of your throbbing core, your knee pushed up against his crotch. He was already rock hard… how predictable. You couldn’t help but smile to yourself knowing that. You pushed harder and you felt his composure slip, he groaned, his eyes shut, his lips tightly sealed, his cock begging to be released. Gods you were so close now.

He removed his fingers from you before reaching for his belt, unclasping it. You could hardly believe this was real… until you both heard a sharp knock coming from the office door.

#gortash x reader #lord enver gortash #lord gortash #bg3 gortash #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #enver gortash

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misc-obeyme · 5 months

Text

OKAY I’m back on my theory bullshit. Spoilers for all the things below.

I was thinking about this post I wrote forever ago about how I thought we were dealing with past!Solomon rather than present!Solomon.

I also had a theory that there were two Solomons since he seemed to be inexplicably changing his outfits for no reason. (I didn't put that one in the masterlist and I admit that I didn't go looking for it lol. It's on my blog somewhere, possibly in one of my lesson related rants.)

And THEN I was thinking nah it has to be that these are all the same characters from the present & they’ve just had their memories erased.

Barbatos knows what’s going on. That seems plain enough to me.

Isn’t it possible that being eighth on the list was just an excuse? Because he can’t tell MC the true reason for his anger. So he's doing it for MC's sake and to keep up appearances? It doesn't really matter, though, 'cause this post ain't about him lol.

I still think my original theory about Solomon might be right, but there are a couple other things I think might be happening.

MASSIVE DISCLAIMER: I love Solomon. I always have, I always will. I don't mind if other people don't like him, I totally get it. We all have characters we don't like. But I just wanted to be clear, it's all good either way and I think everyone's opinion is valid. <3

Scenario One: We really did go back in time and this really is a past version of all the characters. Events are now being changed due to MC's presence.

Scenario Two: We're in a simulation of the past, these are all the same present characters, but with their memories wiped. This is why events are happening differently than how they did before.

Scenario Three: None of the characters are real and the whole thing is a simulation and MC has been in a coma all along.

I don't really think it's that last one, but man if that turns out to be it, I will be so angry.

Anyway, I think we're either dealing with past!Solomon who knows stuff because he knows Nightbringer and/or because he used Barb's powers to look into the future to learn about MC (see my original post for more about that) OR we're dealing with someone disguising themselves as Solomon part of the time (thus the changing outfits).

There has to be a reason why they showed us that hard lesson where Michael took on Raphael's entire appearance to travel to the Devildom himself. (Though I admit the reason could just have been about Michael and nothing to do with trying to showcase how identities can be misleading.)

If characters can do that, who's to say that isn't what Nightbringer's been doing all along?

And I can't imagine who Nightbringer would pretend to be other than Solomon, the one who knows the most about what's happening, the one who's currently closest to MC, the one who could actually influence how things go at this point.

I'M JUST SAYING.

This nonsense has been stewing in my brain since April. I'm so annoyed, I just wanna know what happens so I don't have to think about it anymore, even if it's a terrible resolution that I hate lol.

Anyway, that's it. I just needed to rant about it for a minute. I'm gonna go back to fic writing now. It's much healthier for my mental state.

#it's been a minute since I wrote a theory post #but for some reason this has been on my mind again #I just want the answers already I'm so tired #obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me nightbringer theory #misc rambles #misc might also be going slightly insane but that is unrelated I swear

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bandagemanl0ver · 2 years

Text

Why I believe Chuuya will not only survive Mersault but ALSO have a major / meaningful role in future time. (Theory) (Hypothesis) (Insane Ramble) (You Name It!)

First of all, I think it’s plain clear that Chuuya’s not dying here. Kinda.

There’s a lot to read, but I promise it’s worth it!! (Mostly if you’re worried about best boy best BSD and best animanga character ever, Chuuya Nakahara) (No bias here)

I will start with my main point which is related to Stormbringer, and then move on to other points. There is spoilers for a lot of stuff here!

For those who haven’t read Stormbringer, I will try to give an introduction / context to the theme in the least detailed possible way I can, and even though like I said it won’t be very detailed or have major SB spoilers, it does describe the ending result of Verlaine’s plans as a whole and his state six years after, in the current BSD time.

So after Paul Verlaine, Chuuya’s crazy protective older brother, is forced into corruption and goes batshit insane and almost destroys Yokohama and possibly the entire world, Chuuya beats the shit out of him, they create this insane epic fight thing and after that everyone thinks Verlaine’s dead afterwards. (Except the Port Mafia) But he’s not! Dude decides that there’s no reason to be in the outer world (as there is literally no one he wants to see.) and stays in the fucking Port Mafia’s basement training the PM’s potential assassins (As he’s (one of ??) the best in the world, duh)

So all that shit goes down after much more other shit went down which I won’t talk about because it’s 1. Not related 2. I’m not that cruel as to spoil it entirely for those who haven’t read SB

And then the story tells how aside from training, Verlaine does no other thing rather than wait. Wait for what? His only reply is always “the storm.”

So this is where Chuuya kicks in!!

There is nothing alive that Verlaine could care about so much to constantly wait for other than Chuuya / Something that affects Chuuya considering Rimbaud is fucking dead. “The storm” is an ominous fucking name that makes you think “Oh damn, what’s gonna happen?” and for Verlaine to be INVOLVED in it to the point he’s waiting for it means it’s most definitely related to Chuuya, because just as only Chuuya could stop Verlaine in his corrupted form, aside from Dazai I think only Verlaine can stop Chuuya. (And let’s speak hypothetically if Chuuya went as batshit as Verlaine did and created this whole space time breach I don’t think Dazai would be able to cross it. That shit was deadly and Chuuya himself only survived because of 1. Adam’s weapon 2. He’s literally god)

Now I’m going to sound like fucking MatPat here, but if you think of the title “Storm Bringer” it’s basically the bringer of the storm, or like, the one who brings the storm. The storm Verlaine talks about, the insane storm only him and Chuuya can create, so the bringer of the storm is Chuuya, the Storm Bringer!!!! See that makes total sense and isn’t at all delusional

So if Chuuya fucking dies, then “the storm” Verlaine is waiting for is either something entirely different (which I doubt) or Asagiri forgot about it LMAO. (which I also doubt)

PLUS such a cliffhanger on the theme and something that is keeping Verlaine, the overpowered fuck, in waiting, probably means it’ll be important or at least memorable, which is good because Chuuya deserves some fucking screentime.

Also I’ve heard the rumor (key word: RUMOR; I don’t think it’s confirmed or at least I haven’t seen proof of so) that the novel to open BSD’s S4 will be SB, and in the last novels we’ve had implemented in the anime, they are chosen like that because they complement the events of the current timeline in some way, so if SB were to be chosen then it could probably add context for anime only watchers about something that *may* happen in Mersault, and it would be pointless if Chuuya just went gluglugluglu and went limp there. (If none of this happens, then fuck me!)

(Maybe the storm is coming sooner than we thought!!! I am not insane)

Okay that’s all relating SB and now I’ll move on to these side bulletpoints that don’t really contribute to Chuuya getting a major role but DO contribute to my belief of Chuuya surviving.

* It’s fucking lame. Like okay fine I know authors mess up sometimes but if Chuuya just went and died there it would be the most disappointing, boring, lame, stupid, red-face-and-smoke-coming-out-of-ears-inducing EPIC FAIL in animanga history. I’m not even being biased here it would just suck. Chuuya’s entire story, character development, whole fucking world building relating him, and Asagiri’s comments in the SB afterword just feel like a huge buildup to something bigger, and for it to be just cut like that would be so plot convenient and boring and a let down and it would suck. And if he did just die there, maybe it could lead to some major catastrophe like Dazai feeling like crap (even more) or the PM going insane over it, but that would just make Chuuya a plot device!!! For other characters!!! I think NOT. Complex, well developed, strong ass Chuuya, being killed for the sake of the development of others? Or even worse, nobody gives a shit and some people just go boo hoo and whatever? Never!! And if that does happen I am rewriting BSD myself. (Jokes on you I don’t have the motivation)

* Dazai. Look I don’t really give a damn wether you see Soukoku as platonic or romantic because either way it kinda works, but there’s no denying that Dazai does give a shit about him. Although Dazai has sometimes done some mess ups in his plans (as he’s no omnipotent god unlike fanon sometimes presents him.) he usually has everything already predicted to the point it makes you think what the fuck man? And his methods are usually so dramatic and terrible for no reason, yes, but he’s never let Chuuya die. (Unless he died too, but if he died too then there should be other people dying too, because there is no way in hell he’d ever commit a double suicide with Chuuya, key SB where Mori tells him that and Dazai is like FUCK NO! and gets to work immediately.) “But wait!!! Dazai said there wasn’t any memorable moments which means he doesn’t care and he said goodbye.” Okay, he did, but what kind of utter fool actually believes the shit Dazai says?? Everyone knows that Dazai likes to be misleading because he’s a piece of shit, so why believe him now??? Honestly I don’t understand that fucking idiot sometimes, and there is No Way In Hell you can actually believe that everything Dazai says, mostly when he’s being obviously exaggerated, Is the plain truth. There could be the possibility that Dazai had no idea Fyodor would bring Chuuya there and shit and drowning Chuuya was his only option, and then he tried to give Chuuya this whole heartwarming goodbye but then was like ew and started hiding his feelings again and didn’t, but nonetheless he comes up with alternative plans in like, minutes. (Key SB, Again) And speaking of Fyodor bringing Chuuya, we move on to our next point!

* How in the flying fuck did Fyodor GET Chuuya to help him? Like first of all how was Chuuya even bitten??? Who brought him? What the hell?? Yes, this could be only for plot convenience and maybe it’ll go unexplained, but I like to think it was some sort of plan, wether from the PM, or just HOPING that maybe they’re working with Dazai too from the beginning.

* The Vampires. I don’t know if you guys have noticed, but the vampires eyes are progressively turning from black to white. Chuuya’s not the only example, as this is happening with Akutagawa too, so I’m wondering what the fuck that is and hoping it’s not an artistic error. (Which professionals obviously wouldn’t commit, but I would..) I’m still mentally debating wether Chuuya’s eyes changed to human or white the moment he was drowning, but I don’t think they’d show us that Right Before He Sinks only for him to drop dead. Bleh.

* THE WATER IS AGAINST ABILITIES BUT CHUUYA’S ABILITY ISN’T A REAL ABILITY. Plus, how do you know Nikolai wasn’t lying?? The whole prison layout was plain weird and BSD LOVES plot twists.

* You know which other plot twist bsd loves? “Haha bro’s dead oh wait no SIKE!!!!” This happened with Nikolai, Sigma, Kyouka, Kunikida, yada yada yada.

* CHUUYA IS STRONG AS FUCK AND so fucking cool guys. He is so fucking cool I spend hours in the mirror trying to do my hair slightly resemble his. No bias.

* I don’t think Fyodor’s dying either. Man looked pissed of though, so I’m curious about that.

Like I said at the beginning I think it’s very obvious that there’s more to it than Chuuya just dying there, but there’s still people going Ooo no Chuuya dead fr. Maybe I’m just insane in denial or something but the crazy proof is there!! And I’m thinking these people are like, freaking out, not thinking enough about it (which honestly doesn’t really need mental gymnastics) or are just utter morons. Yeah. Gn. (It’s 3pm)

But that’s just a theory!

A ga—

-bandagemanl0ver.

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ladyalienist · 1 year

Note

What is your position on trauma-related conditions/personality disorders?

Hi! I’m really glad you asked because this is a thing I wanted to make a post about.

So, let’s first start with a bit of general context, shall we? I’ll try to make it as short as I can.

Psychologists and psychiatrists are different in many ways, but they both take care of the same kind of illnesses, distresses and problems, and hence need to communicate between themselves and create a taxonomy of the most common kinds of problems they face. In that taxonomy (DSM, PDM, you name it) it is understood, generally, that people might react to traumatic events in an acute way or in a persistent way (what we usually refer to as PTSD).

In that same taxonomy, personality disorders (PDs) are not seen as trauma responses per se: they are something different. Personality is defined as the unique and fairly consistent patterns of thoughts, feelings, and behaviours that distinguish a person from others. When something in the development of personality goes wrong and those patterns become consistently dysfunctional and hurtful to the person and/or to others, we have a PD. There’s currently about 10-15 of them that have a specific label, all with their specific characteristics: I’m not diving too deep into that because else this thing will become a whole essay and I’d have to charge you money to have you read it.

Now, one thing that seems intuitive but apparently was absolutely not to psychiatrists is that thought/feeling/behaviour patterns are not formed in a vacuum, and require a lot of interactions with external influences to be moulded into a specific shape: hence, a thing that isn’t that obvious is that personality disorders come usually (not always, but very often) from a deeply traumatic childhood.

Especially when it comes to the most (in)famous and debated personality disorder: the Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), which many feminists (me included) view as an evolution of the so-called hysteria psychs would diagnose women with in the 1800s.

It is, on many levels, the very same situation: we have young women who react to horrifying and prolonged abuse by becoming “bad women”, “untamed women”, and hence need to be corrected with sedation and institutionalization.

Many ladies here on Radblr are unwaveringly anti-psychiatry, or at the very least critical of psychiatry and of the BPD diagnosis altogether: they think that it is a pathologisation of natural responses to the horrific treatment little girls go through in way too many cases, and a tool of oppression in the hands of a patriarchal paradigm of health and science.

Now let me be clear: I understand those critiques and they are in many ways grounded and valid. This is a diagnosis that gets often given without an understanding of the personal history of the woman who displays symptoms, or gets given way too soon (PDs should not get diagnosed before adulthood and many women receive a BPD diagnosis when they are still adolescents).

I am myself… not exactly enthusiastic about psychiatrists and colleagues alike, and I do not appreciate the modern paradigm of mental health, but you already know that, for you asked this specific question.

The fact is that in other ways it is a myopic view of a complex and nuanced issue. My first problem with the General-Radblr-Critique-of-Psychiatry is that many many people do not understand a simple fact: psych language is edulcorated as fuck and a competent psych keeps that in mind. When a psych writes “difficulties in keeping care of personal hygiene” (non-political random example of a typical consequence of severe depression) it doesn’t mean “eh, haven’t showered yesterday because I didn’t stink”, it means “this person hasn’t showered in months because they cannot find the energy/they do not want to see themselves naked/they are actively trying to rot while alive and are succeeding”.

Another problem is that many people are not aware that PD diagnoses are actually… not that gendered: while it is true that BPD is more often female and Narcissistic PD is more often male, and socialization brings wildly different levels of destructiveness, there are men diagnosed with BPD and women with NPD, and they are not a statistical rarity!

The third and last problem is a direct consequence of the first: a thing many do not understand is that a PD diagnosis is not given because you’re a moody teen who is angry at misogyny.

It is mostly given when you are a fucking menace to yourself and people around you.

A person should get this diagnosis when they have a consistent pattern of destructive behaviour and uncontrolled emotional responses. These are people who self harm, who have risky behaviours (reckless driving, substance abuse and addiction, violent relationships) and who can and will treat others like shit with little to no reason.

Now, it should not be given to adolescents and this happens. It should not be given without addressing the causes, which often include sexual trauma or prolonged abuse, and this happens. Medication should be prescribed very, very carefully and this doesn’t happen. This is malpractice, and it is way too widespread. I will not deny that.

But here are just some funky tales of things people I know with that diagnosis did:

Set fire to the car of one of her ex BFs. Gleefully told me. The poor guy had done absolutely nothing wrong except leaving her, which was well within his rights. She absolutely could not understand why what she did was unacceptable.

Kept a merry-go-round between three different partners. Two of them were abusive pieces of shit. No amount of telling her that they were pieces of shit would have her convinced that they needed to be excluded from her life and that it wasn’t a good idea to keep fighting with A, calling B for sex and company, fighting with B, calling C for sex and company, fighting with C, calling A, and so on and so forth. This kept going on for years, I cannot stress this enough.

“I only like violent sex” (multiple people, on multiple occasions).

Cheating and then becoming flabbergasted at the partner’s anger, which was seen as cruelty towards them (multiple people, on multiple occasions).

Had a partner who absolutely loved and cherished her. Her response to compliments was, on average, “can you not?”. She would complain that she was ugly and no people would want to have sex with her: confronted with the fact that she did, actually, have at least one person wanting her, she blurted out “you don’t count”. Had the same reply for “I love you”.

Proceeded to find a partner whose opinion apparently counted: you guessed it, an abusive piece of shit. Could not wrap her head around the fact that the previous partner did not exactly want to stay friends.

All of this has to be added to the typical description: labile sense of identity, difficulty in understanding the limits in interactions, volatile emotions, black-and-white thinking, destructive rage, deep sense of void, self-harm and risky behaviour.

Does this look like something that should not be treated as pathological? Does this look like something that can go away with just some more compassion for trauma?

In conclusion: while I do agree that this is a diagnosis that can and does get used as a tool to silence the reality of gendered/sexual abuse on girls and women and it has an ugly stigma to it, I do not entirely discard it as useless either. What I’d like to see is a different paradigm in mental health, where people who have experienced earthly hell can find ways to heal (people can and do get a lot better!) and learn more constructive ways to deal with the world, but in order to do that we need to have a precise frame for the problem.

I hope I did explain myself, and if I didn’t please, let me know. I’ll try to be clearer.

#radblr #useless ramble #psychology cowardice #psychology rant #psychology sometimes feels so useless #thanks #thank you for asking this and also for reading

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fritzi2405 · 1 year

Text

Incorrect MW2 quotes part 3

a/n: i just wanna make it clear I DO NOT ship Graves and Alejandro the generated quotes where just funny

-------

Graves: Assert your dominance over your friends by kicking them in the face, and then giving them a little smooch on the forehead!

Ghost: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything? Gaz: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital. Ghost: That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you. Gaz: But I heard a siren. Price: That was Soap. Soap: Sorry, I got nervous

Price: *sharpens knife* We've got ways of making people talk. Price: *cuts piece of cake* Hassan: ...Can I have some? Price: Cake is for talkers.

Price: You know you've made it when you see your picture everywhere you go. Ghost: Those are wanted posters!

Gaz: Look guys, I need help. Laswell: Love help? Soap: Financial help? Price: Emotional help? Ghost: Help moving a body? *Everybody looks at Ghost* Ghost: What?

Alejandro: What are you drinking? Graves: Vodka. Alejandro: Straight? Graves: No, gay. Why?

Gaz: If looking good was a crime, you’d be a law abiding citizen.

Gaz, skipping rocks on a lake with Price: It’s such a beautiful evening. Price: Yeah, it is. Price: *whispering* Take that you f***ing lake.

Rodolfo: Ghost, I need some advice. Ghost: You need advice from ME? Rodolfo: Yeah, frightening, isn't it?

Ghost: What’s wrong? You look 10 seconds away from ripping someone’s throat out. Price: Fucking Soap and Gaz were trying to invoke one of the minor gods again last night. I didn't get an ounce of sleep, thanks to their bloody chanting.

Graves: *Kicks the door open, looking panicked* Soap: What did you do?! Graves: NOBODY DIED! Soap: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

Ghost: She was poetry, but he couldn't read. Graves: His name was Jared he's 19. Soap: When his parents built a very strange machine. Alejandro, singing: Watch that scene, digging the dancing queen. Rodolfo, singing: Eyyyy, Macarena! Gaz: Horrible job everyone.

Graves: "What are you into?" is such a broad question, like do I reply with a TV series or choking?

Soap: To everyone who has treated me poorly; I am sexier than you.

Gaz: Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.

*Alejandro falls over* Graves: Alejandro! Are you alright? Alejandro: Is that you, God? Graves: What? Alejandro: It's just, you sound a lot more like Graves than I expected.

Ghost: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions? Soap: Put spaghetti in it. Ghost: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you. Gaz: Put spaghetti in it. Ghost: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two. Graves: Put spaghetti in it. Ghost: I am no longer taking suggestions.

Graves: Can you pass the salt? Alejandro: Can you pass away? Graves: Too much salt.

Alejandro: I have to say, I'm a little embarrassed for you. Soap: This is a sports-related injury. It makes me look cool! Alejandro: Tripping over a basketball on your way to the bathroom is not cool!

Alejandro: I need you to come meet me, and I need you to come alone. Rodolfo: And I need you to be less vague and weird.

Soap: Is there a cactus where your heart should be? Price: What’s up your ass this morning! Ghost: *walks in* ...Hey. Price: Hmm… nevermind. Soap: WAIT NO!

Laswell: Watcha got there..? Price: *petting a ostrich* A smoothie.

....

#alejandro vargas #rodolfo parra #john mactavish #soap mactavish #john soap mactavish #simon riley #simon ghost riley #ghost #captain john price #captain price #john price #kate laswell #laswell #kyle gaz garrick #kyle garrick #phillip graves #mw2 #cod mw2 #cod mwii

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chireikiden · 1 year

Note

What are the things in lore you would say ZUN 100% retconned/later ignored in regards to his own material?

This was a pretty broad question to answer at the drop of a hat, so I let it sit in my inbox for a while and wrote down a couple things that came to mind in the meantime.

As we all know, yadda yadda, Touhou is very good at simply not bringing things up again, and thus you can very rarely argue that some individual thing has been outright retconned based simply on its absence in later works. Add unreliable narrators on top, and that only really leaves the very clear contradictions.

Early Windows stuff: You can surely find more if you crawl more carefully than I felt like doing, but here’s some that I remember. The EoSD prologue tells us that Gensokyo is just a seldom visited region in the mountains with a few random humans living amongst monsters, implicitly no Human Village, and no barrier around it. Reimu is worried that the red mist would basically flow out of Gensokyo and into what we'd now consider "the Outside World", which may or may not be aware of Gensokyo and just ignoring it. It's not hard at all to slot into the current setting by moving around a couple things, but read on its own without anachronistic assumptions it's clearly different. Basically, it's a good example of how the essentials of Gensokyo as a setting really weren't fully formed until at least a couple games later.

As an extension of that, I think a lot of things associated with EoSD - like the preceding Vampire Incident, the spell card rules, or even the SDM being newcomers to Gensokyo - weren’t even a twinkle in ZUN’s eye at the time he made EoSD, and were only retconned into existence starting roughly with PMiSS. (Them being newcomers is arguable based on stuff like Reimu not knowing the mansion was there, but that’s also easily explained by Reimu being Reimu.)

PCB starts fleshing things out a bit more and has fewer outright contradictions, but still for example claims/implies that humans sealed up Gensokyo in order to lock the youkai inside. Not irreconcilable, especially if you assume an unreliable narrator yadda yadda, but I think it’s fair to consider it retconned.

By the time of IN, the main pieces are more or less in place and there’s a lot less stuff that would need to be retconned later on, but you can still find some messiness especially related to the Moon if you want to read it that way.

Reimu’s luck: While it’s come up on rare occasion, typically in the form of her “intuition” but also in LE where she uses it for gambling, I don’t think it’s ever again been anywhere near as extreme as that time in EaLND where she walked over a river by happening to step on random fish. If anything, she usually seems pretty unlucky at everything that isn’t specifically gambling or solving incidents, but that might be its own hair to split.

Just for bonus points: Since it’s been on my mind. The literal meaning of retcon is “retroactive continuity”. I think the manga, games etc. typically work on a Schrödinger’s Timeline that simply doesn’t exist until it is directly referenced somehow, and even then it’s only loosely defined. For example, CDS and Lotus Eaters started around the same time (in real life), which was also when the first Gouyoku Ibun demo came out. Lotus Eaters could be making long time skips for all we know, but the events of CDS have probably spanned only a couple weeks at most.

And now we have Lotus Eaters' latest chapters taking place shortly after the events of Gouyoku. In that case, when Yukari summons Flan into the Underground to act as her ballistic missile in CDS, is she doing it before or after Okina did literally the same thing in Gouyoku? When does CDS take place in relation to Gouyoku, or any given LE chapter? Or does it, and every Touhou story, merely take place “now”, even if it started in 2019 and it’s now 2023?

Since Touhou stories tend to only reference each other when they feel like it and are otherwise perfectly comfortable just not bringing it up in any way, there’s a good chance we’ll never know. Or they could simply say something in the next chapter just because. But usually not.

#ask #anonymous #general disc.

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chibipandaao3 · 1 year

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Between Us episode 10 thoughts

Loved that Win answered Team’s phone, that Team’s mom knew who he was, AND that Team’s parents 100% clocked their feelings for each other. I think it’s interesting because Team parents seem both very aware of Team and also very oblivious to him. All of which is likely directly related to the trauma of Ton’s death. Things connected to that event are blind spots - leaving Team with a very odd family. He’s supported but there are huge gaping holes that he has to navigate alone in the dark.

Not surprised one of them got sick - cliché though it is - for the record BEING IN THE RAIN DOES NOT GET YOU SICK. However, given their emotional states and the exposure their immune systems would have tanked a bit - so Win (who was already sick let me be clear - it’s a virus not rain) became symptomatic quick. It was cute to see Team caring.

I want more Pharm Team friendship!! I need it…I know there’s probably a lot in UWMA but I’m so meh on that show I skipped through the first 8 episodes and gave up….yes….I know….don’t say it. Maybe I’ll just have to write my own fics about them.

Dean, Dean, oh sweet Dean - you tried….I know you tried to help but putting people on the spot was just not the right way to go about it…

A? C? I don’t know whichever one you are, you are a good friend 😂 trying to make sure Team isn’t drunk - your hands are currently full however.

At least we know it will actually be resolved next episode. I get the frustration, but the whole thing feels super authentic. Team is a kid who has a past of trauma and incomplete parenting - based on his convos with Pharm, he hasn’t been in love before and Win was probably his first sexual encounter - then he over hears the swim trio basically say “don’t play with Team” and while there’s more to that convo he heard, Team insecurities have him stuck in the “toy” “play” and “fun” bits. And of course Win has shown Team how much he loves him - but Team is stuck on “Win’s nice and his actions often get misinterpreted for more than friendship” and Win hasn’t directly refuted that.

And Win is very similar. Things aren’t often his - does he understand his silence is causing problems? Yes - FINALLY. But he’s silence was also from a place of desperation and a desire to hold onto Team. We know Win’s never been in love before, he doesn’t really grasp how to go about it.

Lastly - Tul… lol well that’s one way of having the secret revealed - next episode - Waan, if nothing else, is lucky you knew who he was because Wiew is probably at school, Win’s likely off with Team somewhere, Mom is mostly MIA, and I don’t think Dad would check until Waan misses work. Though so help me….you call Win or an ambulance you do NOT drive there to help him……..I do not care if it’s a drama that would be stupid af

#between us #between us the series #winteam #uwma team #teamwin #bounprem #hemp rope #between us thoughts

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madwheelerz · 1 year

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Another Home Post

I figured that I could make a post about where the idea behind the manifestation theory comes from, talk about my thoughts behind timeline 0 and why I think there is a timeline 0, and what I personally think will happen with Will under this type of storyline or what I think has already been happening. I had some realizations while making this so I’ll talk about what the upside-down might be later. Even without many pictures this is long.

Why do I think it’s a game?

I think it’s a game because the idea of some things simply not being real or being controlled by a kid make quiet a few things make sense. The setting makes sense because it’s the home of the kids. The idea of a random government lab going to a small town in Indiana to run evil government experiments on little kids is one thing but add onto that a random group of Russians invading directly after the government base is deactivated and it’s extremely difficult to believe.

They could try to convince us. The Russians could’ve been clumsy and revealed a clue that could later be used to decipher the code for the machine, they could’ve needed to hack things for the code, or to find something hidden to figure out the code, but instead they made it a constant. They could’ve played it off and acted as if it wasn’t strange, but instead they have Suzie go over the information with Dustin to show just how absurd the idea is.

Why? It’s one thing for the code to be lightwork, it’s an entirely different thing to reinforce that idea instead of shutting it down. There’s also the linkage of everything to D&D. There’s this idea that the boys initially linked the idea of what took Will being related to the game, likely due to the it was a seven conversation, but the reality is that El is the one to really link the game to the events. Why would she do this if it wasn’t relevant? El isn’t fond of D&D and she doesn’t care much for it, but she isn’t wrong. Most of the events that occur can be traced back to the game.

The first thing we witness is Will being whisked away by the Demogorgon similar to the game. Before this Will was warned against informing Mike about the bad roll, but he does so anyway. Mike is very spacey during the entire conversation and overall, it’s a strange look.

Okay so why the manifestation theory though?

Mike is in the position of the DM when we’re introduced to him so if the game has been a game since the beginning it’s likely he would have started it. He has a peculiar understanding of not just the upside-down, but of El’s powers and the goals of the lab. The upside-down also seems very reflective of what Mike wants.

Mike’s playlist is also very peculiar when you cut out the romance songs. Albums referencing timelines, parallel lines, innerworlds. A song literally called “The Vale of Shadows”, interesting for someone who’s never been there. A song about voodoo against Vecna’s puppet-like imagery. The summary referring to a 5-hour D&D-session when none of the D&D sessions we see have ever been that short and the playlist is off by a little under two-hours, but the number does perfectly capture the number of seasons for the show.

Mike is referred to as the heart and leader in the most recent season and one thing that I don’t understand is why people think that’s a good thing. Will implies that without Mike the party would fall apart, which seems to be a pretty clear case of foreshadowing. What confuses we is why everyone thought the role of the heart was going to mean anything good when the scene before the van scene was of El being revived from a stopped heart and Max’s stopped heart is associated with Mike’s monologue and Mike is kept in frame for part of the speech about Max’s stopped heart.

This season is also the first time we hear of a leader being accused of being behind everything. I mean Jason attributed everything from the beginning to the current events happening in the show to the game. When considering Eddie this doesn’t make sense. When considering Mike? When considering that we pan directly over his family when “hiding him” comes up? When considering Mike is a leader who has been there from the beginning? It begins to click. It also explains why they would’ve even included that absurdly long speech in the first place.

Timeline 0: What is it and why?

When first coming up with the manifestation theory almost everything was straightforward. Everything except the “why?”. It was easy to see where the idea of a game coming to life was coming from and that Mike would be doing it, but what wasn’t easy was understanding why Mike would suddenly start bringing his game to life. So, I went back a little.

What we know about powers is that they’re pretty trauma based and generally unlocked that way. Honestly, given the option my guess would’ve been time powers for Mike because of how much he is associated with running out of time and the constant clock imagery, but I thought maybe that wasn’t what was happening except. The time references were insistent, so I decided to take another look at them.

When Will tells Mike that “it was a seven” the Wheeler car next to them has a seven on it.

Which is interesting because later we see Jonathan go to Lonnie’s looking for Will. He tries multiple doors and some of them are locked. Lonnie is aware that Will is missing, but his entire demeanor doesn’t really give off the picture of innocence especially knowing he could have called Joyce back and his response as to why he didn’t was “I don’t know,”. Something is up with that man.

There’s also all the parallels between Will and Billy and the Phineas Cage thing. No longer Cage -> No longer Will -> Billy. The scene itself goes from Will to Max because Max is observing him, but the two of them aren’t really that different. Billy and Will, on the other hand, absolutely are, and it fits the theme of season three referencing Billy as “another” Will. William -> Will -> Billy. Both Will and Billy are alternative nicknames for William. No longer Will, but now Billy, maybe?

So how does this tie in with everything? Will is referred to as “zombie boy” when he comes back and prior to his disappearance into the upside-down he’s dressed like a time-traveler. I think there are two timelines here. One where Will is taken by the upside-down and one where Will is murdered. By who? Who other than Lonnie?

The show enforces the idea that we are in the one. The one timeline where Will isn’t taken by his Lonnie. In the other timelines, the 99, Lonnie is the culprit. He just doesn’t happen to be this time.

Let’s recap with Lonnie. He’s evasive as though he’s done something wrong, one of the doors in his house is locked when Jonathan goes to check, he draws attention to his new car, and he’s keeping tabs well enough to know when Will’s body is found and how it’s suspected that he died.

A bit odd for someone who didn’t even seem interested enough to call his ex-wife back. We only see Lonnie in relation to Will’s disappearance and death. We see him when Jonathan goes looking for Will and again at Will’s funeral. These are some very bad associations. What does Billy hint at for the first timeline? I think that Billy’s entire subplot in season three serves as a hint to what happened to Will in the first timeline.

Billy is kidnapped by the mind flayer and eventually killed by it. Will isn’t killed by Lonnie but is instead abducted at first. He’s killed later and his body is left at the quarry. Let’s look at Billy’s first victim, Heather. He kidnaps her and stuffs her in the trunk of his car, gagged and fearful. Who else was suspected of being in someone’s trunk? Will. Jonathan checks Lonnie’s trunk specifically before he leaves, and this is particularly interesting when we remember the seven on the Wheeler’s car during Mike and Will’s exchange. There is a car involved in this.

It's likely Will was drowned prior to his body being left at the quarry hence all the ice bath imagery and the comment about being frozen half to death. So Lonnie kidnaps Will, makes him do things ala “he made me do it”, Will stands up to him, and Lonnie drowns him. It’s interesting to note that the memory connected to Billy’s death and makes him stand up to the mind flayer, the one of his mother, involved a seven foot wave.

There’s also a shared song between Will and Billy’s playlist, “Carry on My Wayward Son,”. This would explain why Billy’s playlist is important to enough to stay up and why the “Letter to Willy” vs “Dear Billy”. Why that similarity between Will and Billy is pushed.

So, what’s going on with Will then?

His time is broken. He isn’t meant to be here. The rules of space-time were broken to offer him a chance to live and it’s become a consequence. That’s why Will’s watch is often covered and why he may glitch next to clocks almost like he’s fading out of existence.

If Mike is the one making the story, then it’s one crafted for Will. It’s exactly what we see depicted in the beginning of the series during the first two D&D games. Mike is the one making the plot, but the one whose decision decides if they lose or win is Will.

Anyway. I might make a version of this with more pictures in the future.

#manifestation theory #overview #manifestation home post

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malue-505 · 8 months

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Hi! Do you have any personality headcanons for Brian and Tim?

Oh hello anon! Not sure if you were the same anon from last time but it’s nice to have more asks anyway!

Tim and Brian are definitely amongst my most favorite characters, Brian especially. So I have a lot of headcanons about them in general. I am a big fan of Marble Hornets so their personalities are obviously based off of how they were in that.

Marble Hornets serves as their backstory basically since they became Proxies after that in my AU. Here are my headcanons regarding their current personalities post Marble Hornets/as Proxies (spoilers for Marble Hornets obviously, including Issue 3.5 of the comics for Brian):

For reference, The Operator and Slenderman are the same being in my AU.

Tim/Masky

Tim and Masky did indeed used to be separate identities. Masky’s identity was caused as a result of Slenderman wanting to remove Tim’s memories when he was working with Brian on TTA since they were both against him. Instead of fully removing Tim’s memories, they were “moved” to a different part of his mind which resulted in Tim’s mind fracturing into two. Those scattered memories eventually formed into the Masky identity who developed their own identity based on those memories alone hence Masky’s behavior. (I wouldn’t exactly describe my version of Tim/Masky as DID/OSDD since it’s a part of another headcanon that is involved with the supernatural.)

After the events of Marble Hornets, Slenderman merged Tim and Masky’s identities together to be one singular identity and to function as one. As a result, Tim did adapt some of Masky’s characteristics but still kept his own personality aspects, this did cause Tim’s morals to change quite a bit overtime.

As one of the top Proxies, Tim has grown a lot of leadership skills. He definitely has his strict/stern moments and still carries his “no shit” type of attitude over. He still has his sass don’t worry.

As an SIC (see my Slenderman Proxy headcanons posts), Tim is very organized, timely and straightforward when assigning missions and attending to his own Proxy duties. He sees his role as a Proxy as a very important job/position of his and he knows better than to jeopardize it. When on duty, he pretty much always has a very work-type attitude and is solely focused on getting stuff done.

Despite him sometimes being the typical stern leader, he’s not always outright cruel to his comrades and subordinates. For victims he usually has a “things need to get done” type of mindset but he wouldn’t mind killing for retribution/revenge when it comes to it, especially if it has something in relation to Brian.

He does get a sensitive when it comes to the topic of potentially needing to/accidentally hurting children. He usually tries to comfort/lie to himself that it needs to be done and that he will forget it anyway and that their death is necessary in the long run.

Whenever a Proxy of his fails a mission he assigns them to, he isn’t actually angry at them. He is obviously disappointed that the deed wasn’t done since it needed to be but he instead focuses on why it didn’t get done instead of just blowing up about it like a badly written evil villain. He has different reactions depending on the specific Proxy and why the mission didn’t succeeded. He considers the Proxy’s individual weaknesses if he’s close to them and also if it is because he faltered on making it a clear assessment. Basically, Tim sometimes believes that a bad subordinate could be the result of a bad leader.

Tim does slowly realize that his actions can hurt his relationships. Depending on the person’s age/relation to him, he can either comfort them as some kind of father figure or a supportive mentor generally.

Granted, Tim is not the best at talking about feelings and it’s usually hard for him to open up to others who are not close to him like Brian is.

He does eventually start showing off his most sensitive side when the time is right due to Brian’s influence.

In more casual settings, he is still very much the apathetic cigarette smoking guy we all know in love. Just a bit more twisted this time around.

Brian/Hoodie

MARBLE HORNETS ISSUE 3.5 SPOILERS

Brian made the “Hoodie” persona as simply a way to disguise himself from the rest of the Marble Hornets cast, he felt safer hidding behind a mask during the whole ordeal. Even if Alex knew who he was. Basically, Hoodie and Brian were always the same person (think Bruce Wayne and Batman).

He did try to genuinely help the rest of the cast throughout Marble Hornets but his mind was all scrabbled and couldn’t make full sense as to what was happening or how to communicate his thoughts clearly due to Slender Sickness, the memory lost, etc.

After Marble Hornets, Brian’s mind started really clearing out more. He felt extremely guilty about all the problems he caused since he tried so desperately to basically mastermind everything in attempt control the situation.

Because of this, Brian has been determined to think several steps ahead in the future and to be a “better mastermind” essentially except a bit different this time around.

He’s very charismatic. Unlike Tim who comes across as standoffish, Brian is very sociable and knows how to work with and around people. This made him a very likable SIC amongst his subordinates and colleges.

He’s very much a natural leader and knows that being a boss means to treat your subordinates with patient and fairness and not with an iron fist.

Whenever a mission fails, he pretty much shrugs and is like “Better luck next time.” And doesn’t stress the Proxy/Proxies out since the vast majority of his subordinates are already extremely skilled.

When out on his own missions, he is very focused and self-assured that he will get the missions done. He believes that confidence is a big factor when it comes to success. Plus he usually knows the ins-and-outs of every single mission.

Since he was studying psychology in college, he knows a lot about human behavior and how to use it to his advantage making him a master manipulator and a good mastermind.

He often gets into people’s heads (mostly his victims and his rivals/enemies) to be able to mess with them. He loves to read people.

When it comes to revenge, this man is absolutely petty and terrifying. He will purposely send you on a massive wild goose chase just because he hates your guts. He loves to plan very personal ways to get you.

Basically, his bad side is his bad side. He’s a terrifying enemy but an incredibly useful ally and he knows it.

Given that he’s incharge of Proxy espionage, assassinations, destroying evidence, etc. it’s no surprise that a lot of people are extremely careful about him. Some outright will never trust him because they’ve heard of how cunning he is. He is very smug to say the least, his smile sometimes says it all.

He has an incredibly soft spot for children though since he’s the oldest of 4 siblings. He hates sometimes needing to kill children but he and Tim both share the same attitude when it comes to this: “It needs to be done in the long run.”

When assigning missions, Brian, like Tim, is very organized and straightforward. He gives as much info as possible to his Proxies whenever necessary. His role as a Proxy is quite important to him since he shares a similar goal to Slenderman and is quite grateful that he was resurrected by him, helped clear his mind and reunited him with Tim.

In more of the usual settings, Brian comes off as very chill and approachable. Despite being as manipulative as they can come, deep down the old Brian is still there which he frequently shows when at the mansion and when around his loved ones.

Wooo that was a lot, hopefully this is pretty in-depth! I absolutely love talking about these two, they have my heart and my soul.

#creepypasta #creepypasta fandom #creepypasta au #creepypasta headcanon #slenderverse #marble hornets #marble hornets headcanons #marble hornets tim #marble hornets brian

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