#tumblr treats me so much nicer actually

[mattebat]

Damn u kept him waiting, he was ready to leave half an hour ago

#matte bat art #my art tag #dnd #dnd character #gunslinger #matte bat ocs #oc art #oc stuff #dungeons and dragons #his name’s brinyold and he’s a fruit #also no I’m nor drawing super fast #just migrating my work from twitter to here #tumblr treats me so much nicer actually #gonna make this an art exclusive blog at some point

[slaviclore]

cheatsheet to your slav folkloric downfall

Since several people had questions about the lore that inspired this poll, I'll jot some notes down about what I was thinking. All of these have long and complex tradition that can't possibly fit in a tumblr post, but there's tons of great content on tumblr alone, so pls feel free to scroll through my tags for more info (you may like "demons", "witches", or "original art" for contemporary interpretations of the lore...) or use this post as a springboard for more research.

Because much of Slavic folklore was passed down orally and not written down, and because it covers a wide geographical range and is told in different languages, there are many versions of common stories, tropes, characters, etc.

***

Baba Yaga is a witch, super popular, tons of great lore about her, historical and contemporary. She was never just one single entity, but rather a version of herself in many different stories (more like fanfiction than like canon). Her character is inherently unpredictable, existing outside our societal rules and moral compass, and the variability in lore makes her even more impossible to predict. A young woman named Vasilisa did manage to perform all of Baba Yaga's tasks to her instruction, but not without her own magical help. Sometimes Baba Yaga is helpful and reasonable, and sometimes she will just casually eat you like a handful of berries. You never know what you're going to get.

The fern flower is a beautiful mythical flower that offers its holder immense knowledge and magic. It blooms very briefly only once a year during Noc Kupały (in Polish, the EN is Kupala Night). If you want to find it, you'll probably grab your boyfriend (gender neutral) around dusk and poke around your local woods for a while before giving up and just making out and then meeting up with your friends afterwards like "did you find it?" "no we didn't find it :( did you find it?" "nooo :(". Really, this is about seducing the boy you like, since you probably need magic just to see the flower anyway. If you do manage to find it and pick it, tons of greedy demons will appear and chase you to attempt to take it from you (and your life). You have to outrun or outsmart the demons. The demons may be metaphors for the corrupting forces of great power.

There are tons of ways to get lost in the woods. Some people help themselves by tying ribbons to trees as they go, but anything can spook you -- you can run into a demon, a werewolf, a ghost, a witch, a cat, anything -- and if you have to run away, you will most likely lose your way in the process. More specifically, if you have annoyed a leshy (a forest spirit/god-type thing who protects nature), he will use magic to confuse you, and even if you're very good at Not Getting Lost In The Woods, you're kind of screwed. You think YOU won't piss off the Leshy? Oops you just stepped on his favorite beetle -- screwed. Leshy can be placated with offerings of food and drink, but sometimes he needs something bigger...

There are actually lots of hot girls who live in lakes, much to the delight of about 20% of you, but probably the most common are the rusalki -- dead girls who experienced some tragedy in life, probably ending in drowning, and are now exacting revenge on the living, especially men. They will seduce you, take you into the water, and drown you with their hair, or possibly tickle you to death. Baby marry me, amirite? The original rusalka lore was probably nicer to them, treating them more like water spirits than vengeful ghosts. Rusalki are not mermaids and appear as women with legs. We do have mermaids, but usually these are river or sea beings -- the most famous is probably Syrenka Warszawska (the Warsaw Mermaid) who lives in the river Wisła and will not attempt to kill you unless you're trying to invade Warsaw, but also she's a warrior queen and you have no shot.

Slavic mythological entities love riddles, and if you're good at riddles you are really going to help yourself, but you don't want to get into that situation unless you have no other choice. A common demon you meet on the side of the road will probably not give you a hard one, but Poludnica (the Slovak name) will find you at high noon while you're working hard in the fields and the sun's been beating down on your head since dawn and you're feeling woozy and dehydrated, and she'll give you the hardest riddle you've ever heard, and you're going to blow it, and she's going to cut off your head with her scythe or give you heat stroke. If it's any consolation, she may be hot (pun intended). Pro tip: you may also wield riddles to your advantage. Demons are as egoistic as you are and can be enticed into solving your riddle. If you stump them, you may assure your safe getaway.

Human characters in Slavic lore tend to be young and naive, representing the listener of the tale, since they can't use magic or navigate the world they are entering. Knowledge and magic are two sides of the same coin, so if you want to survive, you will need to gain some wisdom (learning some riddles will help). Being nice is not good enough, but! If by being nice you manage to seduce someone who has access to knowledge and magic, or get adopted by a bored witch with an axe to grind, you'll really help yourself out.

The path to the endless dead wood is guarded by a giant magical cat, whose name I never knew but have recently learned that the Russians call him Baiyun (latinized name, obvi). If you ask Vasilisa, she'll tell you that sometimes he lives with Baba Yaga, but generally he hangs out on the boundary to some other dimension. Probably, if you go to meet the cat, it's because somebody sent you there to get rid of you, so if you survive the cat, whoever is trying to kill you will probably keep trying so fyi. Baiyun will purr or tell a tale in such a soothing way that you fall asleep, and then he'll eat you. If you manage not to fall asleep, you may attempt to catch him and earn magic. But probably you're cat food.

***

There you have it. If you learned your story differently, let me know! And if you're ever lost in a Slavic forest, you can put your clothes on inside out and maybe that'll break the magic. Good luck.

#slavic folklore #your slav folkloric downfall #demons #witches #deities #baba yaga #leshy #original art #original writing #rusalka #poludnica #poludnitsa #cat baiyun

[bludermaus]

Another Emperor Post for you all

First of all, just forgive me for not being good at elaboration my opinions, but here we go:

I think another reason people dislike The Emperor is because they have this incessant need to be friends with everybody if they're doing a "good run", and if you're not friendly to the player then you're deserving of no mercy, nuance and greyness be damned

We see that on how people shit on Wulbren. Like, I don't like the guy that much, but I can see the nuance of someone that was maybe a nice person and became so full of bitterness that they start lashing against others and going to extreme measures to do what they *think* is right. It's not elaborated why and we can speculate forever, but if you save Wulbren and Barcus is dead he's far far nicer to you, so people might be extra pissy about him just because Barcus is a sweetie, so by consequence Wulbren is the worst for not being nice to him

Another example is Lae'zel. I love her, but how many times have we seen people saying that they hate her or left her in the camp not bothering with learning about her because she's initially very standoffish? Just because she's not friendly enough, she's not hugging you from the get-go and saying niceties, not worshipping the ground you step on immediately? Sure, she can become friendly and even an actual friend to you later, but that's not supposed to be a requirement for someone to be liked

And then we have The Emperor. Manipulation and ommission of information is not a friendly thing to do, so automatically evil, how dare he! Except that... He's not your friend and he doesn't (initially) want to be, he's an ally by necessity (and let's be honest, every companion there is working together just by necessity. For example: Pre-tadpole Wyll and Astarion would probably have killed each other in different circumstances) and he's interested in your success in the mission, nothing more or less. And let's be honest, considering that he didn't even want to be in this situation in the first place, he's actually very friendly and nice to you, manipulations aside... Manipulations by the way to make you save the world/yourself, which you'd have wanted to do anyway he just helped point you in the right way and guide you to get there faster

But in the end you can genuinely have a friendship with him, it's just that people disregard his feelings because of some sort of idealized idea of friendship where you must be huggy huggy and message each other daily. I am great friends with someone with whom I haven't talked to in like 3-4 months... Does that mean we're not good friends? We don't message each other enough? To me The Emperor would be this kind of friend and that's okay, you'll visit him like once or twice a year, have some conversation and then leave, maybe write letters every now and then, you both value each other's life and that's it, friendship acquired

This accidentally became a post about how his feelings are genuine >:c He doesn't strike me as the "master manipulator" like haters make him out to be, The Emperor is a business nerd with zero social skills who needs therapy and my Tav can fix him, I sincerely believe that if you've been friendly to him the whole game he is genuine when at the end of the game he says he'll miss you... You're one of the only non-illithid to have not treated him like shit and didn't betray him and chose someone else's life over his when you had the chance, you accepted him for what he is and was nice/professional about it. And if you've become a Mind Flayer then obviously he's elated that he's gonna have a buddy to talk to, someone of his own new race who would understand him the best in a way others wouldn't

Okay rambling over, feel free to continue scrolling Tumblr uwu

#baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate iii #bg3 the emperor #bg3 spoilers #bg3 discussion #bludermaus

[bigbadconnivingbastard]

usually i dont post this kinda yap on tumblr but i have GOT to yap rn

what is it with the spooky month fandom and being so infantilizing towards roy. he is a bully. hes emotionally unstable, bratty, and aggressive to the point even his own friends are fed up. yes, hes cute! i love calling him cute and "my baby." yes, he can be nice sometimes, he can be funny, his heart is in the right place under the assholery. but the extent to which people mischaracterize him as a "sweet soft boy who must be protected!!!! the precious bean!! 🥺🥺" is actually infuriating. which leads me to wonder, how come ross and robert arent treated this way by the community?? theyre much nicer than roy is (with a reasonable degree of teenage stupidness). i wholeheartedly believe that the reason SOME people baby roy so much is because he was sexually abused, and so they perceive him as weak. the amount of genuinely disrespectful and infantilizing scenarios ive seen people make with drawings and writing about roy's sexual abuse trauma is ASTOUNDING. just saying, if ur like 13 and are not a victim nor are you properly educated, dont go around making corny "angst" content about such a serious subject matter. and just in general lets gain some media literacy and stop mischaracterizing morally gray characters before i lose my MIND.

#pearl yap #spooky month #spooky month roy #spooky month rant #tw sa mention #idk what else to tag #spooky month fandom #rant post

[anasdaughterrr]

i’ve been on this new account for a bit so here’s my motivation for reaching my gw:

•skinny thighs that look good in any sort of skirt or pants and that don’t rub together and chafe in the summertime

•feeling cleaner

•having people notice the change

•have people treat me nicer

•more attention from friends and family

•instead of my relatives commenting on how much i’m eating, they will comment on how skinny i’m looking

•i won’t ever be afraid to meet someone new in fear that their fist impression of me is that i’m fat. Instead, they’ll think “wow this girl is super pretty AND funny?”

•being the tiny friend for once in my life

•being able to finally fit the aesthetic that I want

•being able to finally take cute instagram pics

•less scared to post on social media

•i perform in musical theater, so i won’t have to worry about costumes looking bad on me

•no matter what angle someone takes a pic of me, it’ll look good

•applying my makeup will be easier because i won’t feel like i’m putting lipstick on a pig

•i will be more confident and therefore more sociable and happy (i know this from previous weight loss experience)

• dress shopping for formal events will actually be fun and not humiliating

•if the subject of weight ever comes up, i don’t have to be afraid of saying my weight out loud because i’ll be proud of it

•revenge on all the girls that called me fat

•less area to shave, apply lotion on, apply sunscreen on, and less area to wash.

•i overall won’t feel like a giant and like i’m taking up so much space whether it’s on chairs, couches, in a cramped room, etc. (i’m really tall and being tall and fat is like the worst combo because i just feel like an ogre)

• opening tumblr and not feeling guilty but instead feeling accomplished

•old teachers/ students from school looking at me and going “omg i didn’t even recognize you!” (i have had this happen before and it’s the best feeling in the world)

•sitting on my bf’s lap without feeling like i’m crushing him (as much as he claims he likes it i don’t like feeling fat)

•i’m getting older and when i get married i want my husband to be able to bridal carry me

•^^ also wedding dress NEEDS to look good on me or the wedding is cancelled

•i honestly grew up fat (before i lost a ton of weight and then gained it all back 🙄) and i really don’t want to spend the rest of my life chubby or midsized or fat. I just wanna enjoy the slim life.

•i’m very very focused on my looks and I really like when I look good.

•I want a slim face with the sunken-in look and hood cheekbones

•basically any clothes would be oversized

•most of my social anxiety would go away because I wouldn’t be focused on people thinking i’m fat

• i could share clothes with my sister (she’s super tall and skinny and has adorable clothes)

•impress my boyfriend’s family and HIS relatives (best feeling)

• i know this might sound odd but when i lost weight the first time my feet?? got smaller??? and so did my nose???? and my boobs??? all things that i would love to shrink.

•no more flabby arms that I have to hide under a cardigan or sweatshirt

•I was really athletic when i lost a bunch of weight the first time???? and i never worked out for it or did it in a healthy way so idk why i was all of a sudden super athletic but I was

•i always dreamed of being an ice skater and they’re so weightless and thin and beautiful

•halloween costumes could be so much better on my thin body instead of finding one that covers up the most fat

•prom dress looks good (i’m graduated by my bf is a senior this year and he’s taking me to prom)

• i was just more likable when i was skinny. Idk how to describe it

•believe it or not, people talk about you more when you lose weight. I was a total nobody in high school until i lost weight and then people who i didn’t even know we’re like talking about me in good ways and saying good things about me

•more friends. I know that friendship is mostly about the personality, but there are so many bitchy skinny girls with like 100 friends that all go out and do stuff together and even if they’re fake friends they’re better than no friends 🥲

• christmas and winter season in general

•imagine wearing an oversized outfit in the summer time and then whipping out the absolute perfect bikini body? goals.

that’s all for now, but i’m sure i’ll think of some more!

#an0 #an0r3c1a #an0rec1a #tw ana trigger #tw disordered eating #wl #4norexi4 #disordered eating thoughts #th!n$po #th1nsp1ration

[bebsi-cola]

i mentioned briefly when talking about facial difference that while some countries (mostly in the global north) have a medical understanding of disability - i.e. it's a "disease" or "condition" to be managed with medical "treatment" - although there is a significant understanding of the social model in some of these places, much of the world still has a moral model of disability implicitly baked into the culture. usually i see the first two mentioned, but not the third.

unfortunately the moral model is actually still the most common attitude worldwide in regards to disability. the moral model is where blame or moral responsibility is put upon disabled individuals for their disability. this might be for some sort of unknown fault, sin, retribution, evil etc that is manifested in the existence of the disability itself. this ends people with a social stigma upon themselves, their families, and even people who are friendly with them.

families might often hide the existence of a disabled member, or mistreat them for the perceived disgrace upon the family (or both). it also leads to a system where people are really considered disabled when they are too impaired to hide it or live independently, and people who can struggle along are forced to do so. to be clear, the people who are too disabled to live independently are treated quite awfully. the situation is such that disabled people who struggle but can "pass" as abled so to speak would be treated so poorly for reaching out for help that even if they were to be believed to be disabled, it's worse then pretending not to be.

you see it in fiction. i see it a lot in the novels i read where the bad guys end up disabled (a nicer word than what is usually said) as "just desserts" for their evil actions. but in real life as well do you have people deliberately disabling or disfiguring others as a "punishment". i mean the ongoing occupation in palestine for example is a notable case of deliberate mass disablement by the oppressive force. acid attacks (throwing acid upon another person) was utilised in afghanistan and pakistan against girls going to school. there's also a gender based trend of acid attacks against women in bangladesh - mostly against those who deny other people's advances.

now im mixed asian myself with a bunch of asian friends so i can't say that my viewpoint isn't skewed towards asia bc it is. i forgot why i was writing this whole post except that i guess it kinda hit me how... narrow the focus is on disability tumblr. when i first started talking about disability i remember feeling that there was a lot if perspectives missing from the conversation. people might not get it if i yelled that you should bring your disabled family to religious and community gatherings instead of hiding them away. or something.

#bebsi posting #disability #physically disabled

[rose-riot-johnson]

My Tumblr Peeps... Today, I have a treat for you, fanfic wise... Since I'm using an image of Toshiro Hitsugaya (from Bleach) for the header image (newest header image so far), I decided to write about him for the first time ever🧊🥶❄️🌨️😁👍

*This fanfic contains 1 or more long paragraphs😅

🧊❄️Spending Time In The Cabin With Toshiro❄️🧊 (Toshiro Hitsugaya x Any Gender Reader)

Genres: Angst and Comfort (Warning⚠️: Some Language, Mentions of being bullied, and Possible Trigger Warning(s))

The day you met Toshiro Hitsugaya, for the first time ever, was also the day you were assigned to squad 10 of the Gotei 13, which you found out he's the captain of squad 10. You were surprised he looked a little different (and actually different), than you expected... You were trying your hardest to not upset your captain in anyway, especially with thinking on how to word things the right way, since you liked him, already. Toshiro wasn't thrilled with you taking long on figuring out on how to introduce yourself, however he decided to gladly introduce himself first, because he feels that it might help you with your self confidence, especially when it comes to conversations, as he said, "I will start, since I noticed you're a little nervous. By the way, my name is Toshiro Hitsugaya... Since I'm your squad 10 captain, I rather you call me Captain Hitsugaya or Captain! What's your name?".

You have noticed how Toshiro was approaching you on how long you were trying to introduce yourself "properly" without upsetting him, the fact he seems easier on things than his other subordinates (including his squad 10 lieutenant, Rangiku Matsumoto), and he seemed more pleasant, than most people (if not everyone), you had ever known. You then shook hands with him, as you replied, "Nice to meet you... Captain Hitsugaya... My name is, (Any Gender Reader Name)... You seem nicer, than I expected... I know you didn't have to be nice, considering you're the captain of the same squad I'm in, however I'm thankful that you seem, like your more pleasant than most people I knew... If not every person I knew, anyways...". Toshiro was a little confused about you calling him pleasant, as if he thought you were joking or something, however he let that slide, as he lightly, smiled, then replied back, "Well (Any Gender Reader Name), it's nice meeting you, too. And if there's anything you need to talk about and/or someone to talk to, I will do my best to be there for you.". You then agreed, sheepishly, "Okay, Captain...".

As time went by, you somehow grew comfortable with Toshiro, as the both of you were starting to know eachother, little by little. You basically told him more about yourself, however you just haven't told him about the very personal stuff that happened in your life before you went in the academy to become a soul reaper of the Gotei 13. Despite of everything, Toshiro told you about talking to him about stuff you need to talk to, you still are afraid of telling him very personal stuff and being yourself, because of everything that happened with you, before you became a soul reaper.

For your entire life, everytime you tried opening up about your personal problems, being yourself, and opening up about your likes (and hobbies), you were either judged, or pushed away, or bullied, or other horrible things get done, regardless if it was by family, or friends, or people you used to try dating (or had a crush on), or etc... You just felt like all you could think of doing is holding everything inside, ignoring your baggage, invalidating your feelings, pretending that you're constantly okay, and pretending that you're never stressed once in your life. Your life revolved around being used to having to keep everything inside to the point where you never had sight of your true self to begin with, no matter how much it hurts.

One day, Toshiro and Rangiku both noticed that you have been bothered by the things that are on your mind (and heart), that you're keeping to yourself. He suggested to Rangiku to let him handle talking to you, while coming up with plans to get you out of your shell, even if he has to makesure you don't know about the plan of having you open up to him. So, he went up to you and asked you to go on a camping trip with him, as he told you that he knows an empty cabin both you and him can spend, atleast a couple nights in, which you accepted his invite, pertaining the camping trip.

Once both you and Toshiro are set to go on a camping trip, you followed him on a hiking trail (in the woods) that leads to the very cabin he mentioned to you about. You noticed that since you started your walk on that hiking trail with him, you began to feel peace and calmness for the first time ever. It's like, as if you never wanted this moment to end.

"We're here now, (Any Gender Reader Name).", Toshiro happily shouted, as the both you finally made it to the cabin, he mentioned to you about. Toshiro then continued, "And since we will be spending atleast couple nights there, we might as well get ourselves set up for supper and maybe later wear something comfortable for tonight...". You were surprised that he said this to you, considering that everyone else you knew would complain about anything you wear, before you became a soul reaper. Even your supposed to be friends in your past had bullied you about bundling up during the winter months calling you an "Eskimo", a "Sasquatch" and "Big Foot", however when you wear cooler clothing for hot weather, they had went, "Eeeewww! Put some clothes on!", even though you weren't wearing any revealing clothing. It was just how your life was and you can never win, even with your clothing choices. "I think I will cook supper tonight, (Any Gender Reader Name). My treat!", he whispered in your ear. The both of you then went inside the cabin.

Once Toshiro finished cooking supper, he notices that you dressed up in pajama short and a t-shirt, which he enjoyed the sight of and since it's a warm summer night, he was fine with what you're wearing. He pretty much secretly has a crush on you, after he met you. Considering your low self-esteem, you on the other hand thought he was thinking about poking fun at you as you sadly asked, "Do you think I need to cover myself more, captain? Please, tell me? Am I exposing, too much of myself?", as a tear rolled down your face. With a low frown on your face, you then continued, "I just would like to know. I feel like I should cover up...".

As Toshiro notices tears rolling down your face, he replied, "No, (Any Gender Reader Name). If you feel comfortable, then don't cover or uncover more than you feel you need to. I've seen much worse. I assure you, that what you're wearing is fine... I promise you're not exposing anything.", as he then touches your left hand with his right hand. "You really mean it, Captain Hitsugaya?", you asked. He then looked into your eyes, as he answered, "Ofcourse. I meant every word that I said. I would never poke fun at you. I promise what you're wearing is fine...".

Toshiro then continued, "Anyways, (Any Gender Reader Name)... Since we're in the cabin, I figured we can get to know eachother better and in private, as well... So, you're allowed to be yourself and if you in anyway need to talk to me about anything, I may get upset, however I will try to be there for you... And there's something I would like to con...". Before he can even make his confession to you, you basically cut him off, as you sobbed, "I never knew how to be myself properly to begin with nor have I ever had sight of my true self... Everyone I tried being myself with, open up about how I feel about certain things to, get comfortable with clothing I feel fit wearing around, open up about my likes and hobbies to, and my damn opinions to, I either get judged, mocked, bullied, pushed away, and everything else bad that happened to me! It doesn't matter, if it's family, those who were supposed to be my friends, those who were my crushes, those who I used to date, even my neighbors or anyone else... All these horrible things always happen to me... As my life has been going like it was, my whole life and the older I get, I had to learn to do what everyone else wanted me to, even if it's always something I'm uncomfortable doing... I had to learn to pretend to be okay and never stressed... I needed to learn to not to have negative emotions, no matter how painful it is... You name it, Captain Hitsugaya! My baggage doesn't matter! I was once told that the less I tell, the better off I am! As long as I'm not getting shunned nor bullied nor anything else bad happens to me and as long as everyone else is happy, then everything will be fine. So, why should I bother opening up to anyone, if I'm going to feel weak from it! Everyone else is always right over me, while no matter what I do, if someone says their opinion that's not mine or gives me a dirty look, or even laugh at my expense, then I'm always in the wrong. I have to hold everything in, so I don't keep being a burden for anyone else!". Toshiro was shocked about what you just said being the reason why you hold everything deep inside of yourself and is wondering, if this has been on your mind (and heart) prior to him inviting you for your camping trip with him.

Toshiro then calmly replied, "So, if I'm right, everything you just said is why you've been timid about talking about anything pertaining yourself. And anything negative you said about yourself due to the pressure others had put on you before you became a soul reaper, that's not true... You're better than what others say, think, or even feel about you, your opinions, your feelings, and other things... You're never a burden and you're never weak for opening up and talking about what's bothering you. Those who open up about how they feel are strong for it, not weak...". You then shouted, "How would you know, Captain Hitsugaya?! It's not like you went through any of it! Not even keeping things to yourself!". Toshiro then was starting to get annoyed, as he shouted back, "Ofcourse I know what it's like holding my problems and keeping them to myself! You actually think you're the only one who is or ever has been in any part of your situation, you certainly are incorrect!", then he realized that this was his first he had ever yelled at you, while he felt he needed to calm himself down, as he continued in a calmer tone, "Look... With keeping things to yourself... It doesn't make you strong... Not like you believe you had to learn... Keeping everything to yourself and fighting things alone will only make things worse... There's always someone who cares about you atleast somewhere... They will worry about you... Talking about less as you possibly can doesn't mean you're better off... It's good to keep your guard up, however holding everything in will hurt others who care about you, too... I care about you..."

You looked at him, as if you thought he was only saying this to make you feel better, then you asked, "You... Really... Care... About... Me?". Toshiro then replied, "Ofcourse, I truly care about you. If I didn't I wouldn't have invited you to come with me nor have a talk with you nor encourage to talk about how you feel and being yourself... You obviously can't hide everything and fight everything all alone... Not only you hurt yourself, however you also hurt others, such as myself... I'm not sure, if you met the substitute soul reaper, Ichigo Kurosaki... He is someone who taught me that it's important to open up about your problems, instead of fighting everything alone... So, what I'm telling you now is, we're in this together and I don't usually say anything romantic nor lovey dovey stuff, however my confession for you is... I... Love... You..., (Any Gender Reader Name)...". You then walked up to hug him, as you continued to sobbed, as he then hugged with you, while petting your head.

Toshiro then calmly whispered, "It's okay now, (Any Gender Reader Name)... Let it out as much as you need to... Anyways would you like to... You know... Have these kind of hugs of when you lay down...". You stopped sobbing, as you replied, "You mean cuddles, Captain Hitsugaya? Ofcourse, I'm up to cuddling tonight... We both need it.". Toshiro was surprised that you knew what the word "cuddles" is. He was actually actually happy about it and your answer with cuddling. After that night your relationship with Toshiro has become official.

After these couple of nights you spent in the cabin with Toshiro, all of the other soul reapers, even Rangiku noticed a big difference in you. You became more open about your hobbies, how you feel, etc... You're even able to be your true self and finally have sight of your true self. And it's all thanks to Toshiro Hitsugaya. And he's so proud of you, that he even introduced you to Ichigo Kurosaki.

❄️🧊The End🧊❄️

I did write a somewhat unusual ending... Anyways I was recently rewatching the Bleach movies and there's a particular Bleach movie that is part of why I felt inspired to write this fanfic the way I did, which was "The DiamondDust Rebellion". It did took me a while to write this fanfic down, however for possibly a week or so, I did have alot going on where I couldn't mentally focus on completing any fanfics until hours earlier with the previous fanfic I have posted😅 Anyways my Tumblr Peeps, I did have fun writing this fanfic and I hope this fanfic helps make your day and/or night❄️🧊🥶🌨️☀️🌕

#bleach #toshiro hitsugaya #toshiro #tōshirō hitsugaya #captain hitsugaya #bleach hitsugaya #comfort #angst #rose riot writings #fanfic written by rose riot johnson #rose riot johnson #hitsugaya toshiro #toshiro x reader

[dxncingwithastrxnger]

I hope Steve, El and Mike will interact in S5. Especially Steve and El. It could be so funny. Mike, who is now so tall that he can look him straight in the eye, it almost scares him and in contrast to the other children, El is just an angel.

I'm so sorry it took awhile for me to answer this, but I'm here now!!! And I totally agree!!! And I actually talked to my friend about something similar the other day, with Steve and his height. We agreed that when him and Mike saw each other in person and actually interacted for the first time since Mike's been in California, Steve would definitely look at him and be like, "Hey, did you seriously grow again since the last time I saw you?? You have to stop doing that, Wheeler!!" Except he would literally mean it and Mike would just raise an eyebrow at him and then raise up on his tiptoes and Steve would just glare at him and be like, "Alright, alright, I get it, now stop it" 😂😂

And as a little side one, I guess, as the other kids got taller, any of the ones that reached Steve's height or taller would recieve the same treatment and exasperation and they, too, would mess with Steve by going up on their tip toes and a couple of them may or may not of gotten flipped off a few times because Steve very much dislikes his children being so tall, it's not fair, lmao

Okay, yes, obsolutely. El is definitely the favorite child right alongside Dustin (Maybe even more than Dustin 🤭) and Steve absolutely adores his sometimes scary, little, telepathic daughter.

This right here is basically how Steve treats El and you can't tell me otherwise 😂😂😂

Also, uh, I got off of tumblr in order to make that meme but I also got distracted and was gone for like 15 minutes, woohoo! But anyways, yeah, El is definitely a sweet, little angel and at one point, Mike or someone else in the gang (honestly would probably be either Mike or Dustin) would just be like, "Hey, uh, Steve? Why are you so much nicer to El than you are to the rest of us? Cause it's like,,, really noticeable, man." And then Steve is just like, "Because. You're loud and rude and El is sweet and kind and perfect, like a quiet little angel." And then Mike's just like, "....he's totally right." In a slightly dreamy, far-off voice, eyes unfocused as he thinks about El and her angelicness, and then the others that are with them just roll their eyes while Steve looks half exasperated, half fond at all of his children. It's an absolutely wonderful time <3

So yeah, thank you so much for sharing these little thoughts and hopes with me!!! It's very much appreciated!!!!! Hope you're having a great day/night!!!!! 💜💜💜

#purple_strxnger #purplestrxngerasks #mileven #stranger things #mike wheeler #el hopper #eleven #mileven headcanons #mileven hc #mileven thoughts #el jane hopper #steve harrington #mama steve

[spaceorphan18]

I was wondering how you felt about the centralization of fandom. I feel like now, I'm so used to hop on AO3 that as soon as I'm looking for something I might not find there, like meta, theories or simply fics for an older (related to AO3) fandom like Glee, I don't have a clue anymore where to look for them. I never used LiveJournal so I don't have the habit of checking it out. FFNET feels obsolete after spending so much time on AO3, and as for Tumblr... the search function is a mess (and I dislike the fact that so many people post fanfics directly in text posts, of course they do what they want but it's frustrating to search for like analysis or simple thoughts and only find docs).

Fanlore is often lacking (although I worked myself on filling some stuff a few times).

I was used to HP being my main fandom: it had its own very charming fan websites with tons of content that often still exist, but are different somehow.

So I guess my question is actually several questions:

- what do you think of fandom being generally more centralized nowadays

- where do you go if you seek stuff like writeups (AO3 allows them but doesn't feature so much of them, but I know the Glee fandom was THRIVING and full of stuff,I guess the waves of mass post deletions are part of the issue)?

- finally, how are you? 🤗 I'm always happy to see your posts on my dash even if my Glee hyperfixation has come and gone

Sorry, it may be a confusing post 😂 Too much stuff going on

Hmm - I guess I wonder what you mean by more centralized? Like that we find everything in one place? Do we find everything in one placed? I guess I'm a little confused (but I often am)

What do you mean by write ups? Do you mean things like meta and analysis? I just want to make sure I'm understanding correctly.

If I'm being honest, my relationship with media has changed and I'm not necessarily seeking out fandoms to engage with. (This is not a denouncement of fandom at all! Just that I'm busier and how I interact with things just is different now) I haven't hyperfixed on anything since Glee - and I'm okay with that.

I don't really know where people can go /now/ to dig into fandoms. I think Discord is one of the places - but you almost have to be engaged already and invited into one. I don't know where people are putting their thoughts and feelings these days.

For me - I listen to a lot of podcasts now (as well as YouTube) where I can hear people's takes on such things, but I can't necessarily engage with it (I mean, I suppose commenting is a thing but it's not my thing) and that seems to fulfill a lot of my desire to hear someone else's thoughts.

And, I mean, I've made a group of good friends on Tumblr that if I want a more personalized discussion on something I'll hit one of them up and spark a convo. (Of course I have people not on the internet with whom I do that, too.)

But I can see where it can be hard for someone who is just starting out on their fandom journey to find a place where they can really dig in with others. Tumblr would be nicer if it was more organized and if tagging did actually work.

And, you know, I kinda treat Tumblr like a journal - and just create my own content. I'm not necessarily writing for all of you, but to sort things out in my own mind. Having people read and enjoy my thoughts is just an added bonus. ;)

I'm not sure if I've answered or addressed all of your thoughts - but hopefully, some of that makes sense?

In the mean time, I am doing well. I'm in a better place personally, which is nice, because then I can get back to all the fun projects I enjoyed before the year of my mental health crisis. Hope you are well yourself! <3

[nightcrawlerzincorporated]

I like to think I know my Sunny lore; but I've seen people say that the roller rink ep creates so many plotholes. You're my local most-knowledgeable-seeming tumblr blog so I'm burdening you with this cause a google search does nothing for me:

What are some of the plotholes?

only thing I can think of is Dee being sweet because its confirmed she was also a bitch in high school. I feel like most of the other things can co-exist! Am I missing something?

I'm so glad you see me as knowledgeable about Sunny lore <3 I rewatched Roller Rink before answering this and this is my reading:

Dee's characterization is definitely the part of the episode that people tend to dislike the most. As you said, it feels off that she's consistently described throughout the show has having been awful since high school (making Cricket eat dog poop, acting superior and snippy towards her only female friend, Ingrid, setting her college roommate on fire, just off the top of my head) but then in Roller Rink she's all sunshine and positive energy. I understand it's meant to be meta commentary on how Dee was originally characterized as "the nice one", but even in season 1 she's only marginally kinder and more self-aware than the guys. Exaggeration can be a great tool in comedy, but the exaggeration of Dee's kindness is so over the top in Roller Rink the commentary gets lost. It feels like it's commenting on a version of Dee that never really existed. If they wanted to comment on the sexism that led to the one woman main character initially being written to be nicer than the men, they should have actually had the guys act sexist towards her, imo. Maybe when Mac makes his "Dee's nuts" joke, instead of having Dee respond "I don't like crude humor" and walk away, they could have had her laugh, then had Mac make fun of her for being "unladylike" for laughing, so she shuts down and lies about not liking crude jokes before walking away. I can so easily imagine a version of this episode where Dee is trying so hard to be "the nice one", be the stereotypical girly-girl (maybe as a persona to keep all the new friends she's finally managed to make), but in the end she can't do it and explodes, revealing her true colors as just as much of an asshole as the rest of the gang. Like why does she become mean after hitting her head as if her personality flaws are all caused by a physical brain condition instead of just revealing that it was always a part of her, just a part she used to try and ignore. They could have even still had her smack her head, only instead of turning mean right away, maybe Charlie lets slip that she hurt herself because he loosened her skates and she goes off on him, too angry to keep the persona. The way it's portrayed as the guys being super nice to her before she hits her head also feels so off--as if the sexist way they treat her is her own fault and if she was just nicer to them they'd be nicer to her. Yuck! I understand it's Mac, Dennis, and Charlie telling the story and that they would want to portray themselves as kind, but they could have at least put in a line from Dee when it cuts back to the present about how they were never that nice to her so it isn't so muddled. They could have done the same basic idea while actually making sense with the lore, been more aligned with what actually happened meta-textually, and shown how constantly saying women are inherently kinder and more moral than men is sexist in of itself and forces women into shallow boxes of banality instead of seeing them as human. But it feels like all that the actual episode is saying is, "Isn't it funny that we initially created this character to be nice and now she's mean lol things sure are different now!" It's so toothless and messy. Sorry for the rant, I ended up having a lot of thoughts about Dee while rewatching!

To get back to plotholes, the other big thing I've seen people talk about is the way Dennis acts around Frank. But to me that part makes more sense. Yes, Frank treated Dennis and Dee cruelly in their childhood and was severely neglectful, but that's the exact reason why I think young-Dennis would try so hard to impress him and be kind to him. Dennis wants desperately to have a good relationship with his father, and he sees Frank letting him come work for him as his chance to win his father's love and approval, so he's overcompensating. I think a lot of people take his line, "I'm starting to think my dad's a bad man" very literally and say "How could he have just realized how bad Frank is after a lifetime of mistreatment?" But it's pretty common for abused kids to justify the way their parents treat them as normal, and it makes sense to me that a (probably extremely triggering) event like Frank having sex right in front of Dennis would push Dennis into accepting the harsh truths he's been trying to ignore about how shitty Frank actually is. Him finally allowing himself to accept that Frank is a shitty dad and a bad person because of an extreme event isn't the same as retconning Frank's past abuse and painting it all as this one incident, as I've seen some people argue. I mean, even Mac, who is all about family, is almost immediately like, "Well, you never have to see him again if you don't want to" when Dennis vaguely says something bad happened, which to me makes it seems like the way Frank treats him is something they've talked about before. And the way Dennis instantly agrees that no-contact is a good idea also makes it seem more like a "straw that broke the camel's back" situation than the show trying to say this is the only bad thing Frank has done to Dennis. And I really like the way it ties together Dennis agreeing to buy the bar with him deciding to go no-contact with Frank. He wanted the bar in the first place to be able to gain independence from Frank and move on from his childhood, only to have Frank show up one day in 2006 and buy the bar out from under him anyway. Oof! I do wish they would have involved Dee in some way, since it's implied in season 2 they were both no-contact with Frank by 2006, but I also think Dee is overall more willing to accept how abusive their parents were than Dennis is, so it makes sense she wouldn't need a big final reason like he does.

I don't think people typically have any issues with the Mac and Charlie bits, plothole wise, at least that I've seen. Watching through I didn't notice anything about them that stuck out to me.

I hope that answered your question! If there's anything I missed that people consider a plothole in the episode, let me know! I love discussing sunny episodes in-depth any chance I get and I love hearing other people's thoughts!

#ask #anonymous #the gang buys a roller rink #iasip #⭐️

[penofpenguin]

Hellooo!!! ❤️❤️❤️

This is my first time requesting hehe

Can you do a one shot of Ruggie x fem!reader (non-mc)? The reader is 2nd year, and can be in whatever dorm you want :DD

Reader (Ruggie's lover) is a very rich spoiled brat. She's all about being a fashionista, and living the fancy life. She boasts and gloats about her being rich to everyone. But never to Ruggie. He is an exception. She loves him dearly and would never dare to judge him. She also has a high ego.

So here's the scenario: Everyone in NRC was getting tired of reader's snarky attitude. And they all complain to Ruggie how reader is being a brat to them and begs him to talk her into being nicer. He understands and tries to talk to her later on. But, due to reader's very high ego— she doesn't listen to him and they begin arguing. With Ruggie having enough with her attitude, he snaps at her and ignores her for a few days. Until reader has finally learned her mistake, she tries to apologise to Ruggie (You can write how they make up in this scene :D) And can you add in the ending— a short scene of where Ruggie tries to teach the reader to be nice :>

So sorry if this is long. I hope you get it, this idea has been in my head for so long now😭

Welcome to Tumblr requesting anon :DD

I am more than delighted to do this request it is absolutely wholesome sjjsjs. Hope you like this one! I didn't mention any dorm so you can get creative.

Content Warnings: You're mean, Homeless child mentioned, Violence mentioned but not taken in action, Angry Riddle

Ruggie tries telling his spoilt!s/o to tone down on the entitlement.

Ruggie x spoilt!F!reader

Enjoy!!

You had it all.

Money, money and money. You were really rich and got everything that you wanted. A pony? yours. A castle? yours. You got what you wanted every single time that you descended into entitlement.

You probably got into Night Raven College because of the money and bribes Crowley accepts.

Even if you thought you were the popular girl, everyone hated you...but one.

Ruggie Bucchi. Ironic isn't it?

A spoilt rich girl like you who gets what she wants on her fingertips and a poor guy from the slums like him who works multiple jobs a day.

What attracted him to you was the way you treated him. You had a soft spot for Ruggie and you treated him like he was in the same financial level as you.

Many people were truly surprised how someone like you and someone like him were even possible, but they carried on with it.

Everything was going fine...until Ruggie heard a knock on his door.

"Yess I'm cominggg"

He opens the door only to find a raging red Riddle Rosehearts, visibly breathing heavily, next to his dearest girlfriend, who had a collar on, huffing in annoyance.

"Yes? Y/n what did you do?" Ruggie asks with a sigh.

"OH I'LL TELL YOU WHAT SHE DID! SHE-"

"It isn't a big deal. He bumped into me on purpose! So I shoved his books to the floor and told him to pick it up." You said, rolling your eyes as Riddle visibly grew redder.

"DON'T YOU DARE INTERRUPT ME!"

Riddle turns to Ruggie.

"Control...your girlfriend here please!!"

"I'll see what I can do. Could you just please remove the collar? I promise she'll learn something." Ruggie asked.

Riddle hesitantly removed the collar, glared at you and took off. Ruggie invited you to his room.

"Now...Y/n...don't we wanna...y'know...tone down on the-"

You threw yourself onto him.

"Wuggieee. Thank you for saving my from the small angry troll my knight in shining armor I love you so much here I got you a donut on my way~" You said giving kisses to his cheeks, which were now red.

"A donut!!!?? Thanks!!" He completely forgot what he was gonna say, but he remembered afterwards.

"Y/n...uh...can we talk?"

"Sure what's up?"

"So...Riddle complaining was actually the 4th complaint I got from you today. You know I can't keep backing you up." He slowly put his arms around you and pulled you into a nice snuggle session.

"I don't get why they're all reacting so much!! It's not my fault! They're the ones causing problems,"

"No...uh...even I think you've been acting a bit too much lately."

"Oh you make me laugh my dearest!"

Ruggie placed his finger on your chin and turned your face towards him.

"Y/n, I'm not kidding."

A moment of silence passed. He just stared into your eyes. You slowly tried pushing him off but his grip was pretty strong on you.

"Why're you letting these people get to you! You know I'm not thaaaat bad." You said giggling.

"I mean...people will get sick of i-"

"No Ruggie! I'm not listening!!!" You shouted, pushing his arm off of you. You hated it when people told you what to do.

"Y/n, please listen-"

"NO!" You pushed him off his own bed. He eventually had enough.

"Fine!! Get lost for all I care!! Im done sticking up for your spoilt behaviour!!" He yelled. You were shocked, but you just rolled your eyes, opened the door and slammed it shut.

The next day you were slowly starting to miss him. You go to your class corridors and see Ruggie there, looking sort of frustrated.

"HI wuggiee!"

No response.

"Wuggie?"

He didn't even look at you. He was on his flip phone, possibly ignoring you. He walked away to his magic history class, without saying a word.

'Is he giving me attitude?? Fine then!!' You thought. You grumpily walked away to your own class.

2 days passed since your fight and you didn't get any text messages from him either. Not any "I love yous". No "Good morning/Good night". The only response you got was 'seen' to your recent messages.

You wanted to talk to someone. You tried approaching Yuu to talk about this but they just ignored you(plus grim stuck his tongue out to you). You were finally understanding your mistake.

"Im sorry Ruggie" You messaged him. Once again, 'seen'. That was when an idea came to your head to apologize for him.

The next day, Ruggie went to class to find an envelope on his desk. He opened it to find some money and a letter.

"Meet me on the Courtyard at lunch. I need to talk to you about something. It's important so please be there."

Ruggie's first thought was that it wasn't you. Was someone was trying to confess to him now that he hasn't been talking to you? Did they also think money would help (it would lmao). But he decided to go anyways.

He went to the courtyard only to find you, sitting there. He was about to go back but you grabbed his sleeve.

"Im actually sorry!"

He didn't face you, but he stopped trying to walk away. You continued.

"I realized what I did wrong. I let my ego get the best me. I treated you like you weren't special. I know you didn't like that. Over these three days, I was so heartbroken and...and I felt so lonely. I fixed things up with many people by getting them something from the cafeteria...and I made something specially for you. Just follow me please?"

Ruggie turned to face you with a stoic face.

"Go ahead."

You took him to the woods and showed him a perfectly layed out picnic, with all of his favourites(which is everything that isn't rotten). Your man was drooling.

"I hope you like it." You said. The next thing you know you were being hugged and lifted off the ground.

"This- This is a week's worth of food!!"

"Really? For me this is only lunch."

Ruggie ignored your comment and snuggled onto your neck, giving slight kisses here and there.

"Your apology is accepted! But...please be a bit nicer. I'd really appreciate it."

"Alrightt! Anything for my Wuggie!!"

Ruggie just cringed.

"Look I missed you alot...but I really did not miss that nickname."

You laughed.

"Ok Ruggie."

"Much better,"

You two enjoyed your lunch together, with him being done with most of the food in around 5 minutes.

Bonus:

"Ok...y/n...you bump into a homeless child and it starts crying. What do you do?" Ruggie was giving you a small lesson on being nice during a walk around the school.

"Tell it to scram?"

"No!"

"Step on its foot?"

"Great Seven you're hopeless-"

I hope you enjoyed this one anon and everyone else!! I wasn't expecting so many engagement activity in these days so thank you everyone 😭😭😭

I've also been sick (dehydration ugh) for a few days which is why I didn't post much. But if you requested, it will be done soon. Take care and have a nice day 💖💖💖

-Madeline 🐧

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #ruggie bucchi x reader #ruggie headcanons #ruggie bucchi #ruggie x y/n #ruggie x reader #savanaclaw #savanaclaw x reader #ruggie x yuu #ruggie x mc

[dragonofeternal]

So this year has been really, really good in terms of like... reminding/validating that I'm actually like smart and good at what I do?

Like.

First off, I got my new job which whips ass and is super fun and challenging and pays way better and where my ability to do nine million different things is like very valuable. Like oh yeah, I can reformat this word doc/that powerpoint. Do you want me to do a little bit of graphic design to make this actually look nicer? Oh, you need this video for a presentation but it's on a site other than youtube? Yeah sure, I'll rip it for you. And also just the day-to-day of being able to take good notes, and being able to help copyedit training materials, and generally being a pleasant and mostly on top of things person in the office.

THEN, I took one of Killian's creative writing classes along with them. Which, for one thing, was super fun, good teacher, nice to have an organized space/time to hang out and talk about writing. But also it was really validating to have someone outside of the internet/my inner circle of friends read and critique my work who was like... I dunno another adult/serious writer type person? Our teacher is a published poet -- Though more specifically she's prolific as a TRANSLATOR of poetry. A fair number of the translated Palestinian poets you've seen being posted around tumblr recently are most certainly her work. -- and when she realized the level I was writing at she started critiquing my work a lot harder. Still had nice stuff to say! Just also being willing to dig in and point out places where I could improve.

We actually hung out with her last night at a fellow classmate's band's show and she took both me and Killian aside for expanded critique/thoughts on our final pieces, and said some really nice stuff which included that she sees both of us as like professional-grade writers who should continue to hone their craft and who she really wants to see succeed/get shit published/etc. I'm currently letting a short story (that is... probably gonna end up as a novella orz) that I wrote for class sit before I do another draft of it, and then she's offered to do a more critical line edit for me so I can shop it around and get it published somewhere really good.

(Which is also interesting because I see myself as working very much in genre spaces and she's very in the "literary" sort of mode, and she said that she saw a lot of literary prowess and style in how I wrote which she could see getting it published in a more literary type journal. And that's like a weird/wild thought bc of my complicated thoughts on the way the literary/publishing world looks at and treats genre writing blah blah blah....)

At the SAME show, though, our teacher had brought along a friend, who is also a teacher at the community college. Said friend works for the theatre department and recognized me from volunteering to act at a one-day event last semester for Killian's playwriting class. Like this was an event where I was acting for MAYBE a grand total of fifteen minutes. And she basically said "HEY YOU'RE REALLY GOOD, WHY HAVEN'T I SEEN YOU AT ANY OF THE AUDITIONS?" So then I chatted with her some about how I've done a lot of theatre over the years but time/jobs/money meant I haven't had a chance to in a long time...

But now my job is a 9-5! So I gave her my number and I'm now basically the understudy for if/when someone drops out of the productions currently going on. Apparently they have a lot of issues with people dropping suddenly so it's likely that I'll end up doing something next semester! Which is good cuz like. Damn, do I love the theatre, and I've missed it A LOT.

I dunno just having two different people being really impressed about my creative work in a short time was really, really mood/ego boosting? I dunno. When I last did theater in Pittsburgh I ended up feeling really burnt out by the exhausting sense of always having to hunt for work, feeling like I wasn't good enough, etc... And last year I was struggling a lot with feeling like all my writing was futile/unwanted/etc... So having people remember me and be super complimentary was. Nice.

#state of the liz #long post under cut

[hot-soop]

WIP list

hahahahaha kill me it’s so much worse than i thought 💀

gang - i have 25 (TWENTY FUCKIN FIVE) works in progress. i started writing for this fandom 2 years ago and i’ve only posted 6 fics in that time oh god. please can everyone kick me up the arse until i finish this shit

unstuck - doctor!yoongi x idiot!reader. based on that very real time i got superglue in my eye and the doctor who treated me at the hospital was a dude i had matched with on hinge. equal parts horrifying and hilarious. 3k written.

there’s no name you can call me - reader/jk/tae. idolverse. really bad, 15k written. needs an entire upheaval if it is ever to see the light of day. honestly will prob just take it to pieces like a written off car and use the scraps for my other WIPs 😬

unnamed tae smut - pwp, 1k written. slight dom vibes

codependent - model!jimin x fem reader. hairdresser au. >1k written. jimin wants to dye his hair soft lilac but he’s only just had it dyed green, hairdresser is perpetually annoyed w him but in a flirtatious way?!

unnamed soulmates(?)!au. fantasy?? - dream sequences where you play out a whole life w/ ur soulmate (joon) but can’t actually meet in this reality. find ways to get messages to each other within dreams? like 150 words written lmao i cannot worldbuild life sux

could you stay - yoongi x reader. f2l. 5k written. forgot i still had this for a while and jess shouted at me and went looking through google docs to check for herself lmao

unnamed hobi fuckboi fic - 54 words written lsdlfkdkgjjss honestly i got bored of it almost immediately. hobi’s character is the hardest for me to get right? idk maybe i need to find a diff trope for him, something nicer. perceived fuckboi??? like unreliable narrator maybe?

sugar fix - yoongi x reader. 90s sex line fic! 1.5k written. absolute nonsense but some of it is quite funny. meetcute at work while talking dirty to horny randos on the phone

unnamed joon sexting fic - established ldr. can’t seem to find the right time to sext bc of time differences, oh no, oh dear, they’re so horny whatever will they do? 1.5k written

carnival fic - yoongi x reader but could change to yoonmin? yoongi is mute, tae the tarot reader seems to know everything yoongi thinks but he’s just making it up and yoongi goes along with it. it’s fun, it’s silly. i’ve got 2k

crossroads - jk x reader. reader is a crossroads demon and jungkook is a total idiot! 1k written

clusters - namjoon x reader. soulmate au, set out of body. everyone in a soul cluster has their soulmate, but namjoon doesn’t, until your soul comes into existence, nearly 50 lifetimes late. 4k written

tattooist jimin x reader. got bored of this immediately and forgot the plot i came up with before i wrote it down. 800 words written that are okay but maybe it could just be a smut oneshot

airport barista hobi x frequent flyer reader. 197 words 😭 hobi why do i struggle when u r so sweet

namjoon x reader. f2l. namjoon wants to go on a road trip but he obv can’t drive, so you, an idiot. volunteer. 700ish words.

tae x reader. college au. lovers to strangers. 5.8k written

seokjin x reader. diner au. e2l (lite). 1.2k written

virtual strangers au - jimin x reader are rival tumblr people. they hate each other but don’t know each others faces. jimin has a big fat crush on this woman who works at the pet shop and he keeps buying cat litter even though he doesn’t have one a cat. anyway. his crush and his tumblr nemesis are one and the same! ha! 1k written

yoonmin fic - jimin is having therapy for anxiety & yoongi runs a cat cafe. 1k written

winterbreak - yoongi x reader. college au. established fwb with one sided feelings. yoongi leaves and spends a year abroad. v angsty. they keep falling back together & hurting each other. based on that song by muna. 5k written

1970s namgi hitman fic - can’t remember where i was going with this, need to reread my notes. was based on that shoot for joons photofolio in the motel. 1.5k written

seokjin’s yarn barn - alpaca farmer!seokjin x knitting enthusiast!yoongi. absolute crack. quite funny. 1.3k written

reader x hobi meetcute on a train. >1k written

spermageddon - namjin fic for lauren. absolute insanity. namjin work at a sperm bank and namjoon breaks things. 1k written

yoongi collab - yoongi x reader musician au. fwb & unrequited feelings. angst heavy 1.4k

➾ feel free to ask about any of these. god. how did it get so out of hand?

#posting this for accountability and maybe i just have a shame kink idk #wip list #work in progress #bee tries to write sometimes #bts writing #i should at least finish the yoongi collab and lauren’s fic before anything else but then what do i do?

[iamtaia]

Sick of feeling sick, tired of being tired. Its hard to accept not getting better, only same or worse. It's bullshit and unfair. I am bed ridden so damn much. The only thing that makes it tolerable is friends who even without knowing what's happening, make my day by sending me funny memes and vids. The hardest part is actually not pain or even the mental health stuff (which is still very hard btw) it's the judgement or not being believed. I nearly died last year and sadly it gave me hope that finally ppl would believe me... but no, that was some random sad thing and they are back to the same bs.. Like so many times in my life I've been hospitalised, I have had so many major surgeries that I have no core strength from all the scar tissue. They see the scars, they have heard the Drs.. but some how I'm lazy.. oh you are just collapsing.. it's because you don't try hard enough to just not???? Like I've had blood suddenly pour from my nose and I was told its coz of my allergies and I should of just known to not have a blood nose???? None of this probably makes any sense, I just wanted to hell into this tumblr void... Please know if you are like me, your pain is real, you matter, and yeah it does fucking suck bigtime and you have every right to be mad! I wish we didn't have to be in this boat together and I hope that one day, we get answers to why we hurt, we get stuff to help and most of all, we are believed! I'm gonna get myself a little treat and try my hardest to be nicer to myself.

#personal #chronic pain #chronic illness #mental health #rant #invisible illness

[hannahhasafact]

Gonna treat my tumblr like a journal and ramble some thoughts, feel free to read if you want:

Little by little, my apartment is becoming a place that doesn’t feel… embarrassing? Like being an adult woman, many of my friends and family my age have living situations that are nice. In some ways, I feel like my apartment still looks like one a college kid lives in, and it’s just embarrassing. I’ve never really had people hang out at my apartment because 1. There’s no space for people and 2. It’s just not a nice hang out space. But I feel like I’m getting better at making it a nicer space I think.

Related by why the fuck is my house constantly dusty I am ALWAYS DUSTING

I know there’s still probably a month until we find out about k-con artist alley but god the waiting is killing me. Like it would be incredible and awesome to get in yes but more than anything it’s the not knowing that is killing me oh my god. Probably won’t find out until the end of June and I’m dying (though I totally get why! I’m just so impatient)

I’m in this weird moment in my life where technically I probably have some sort of undiagnosed anxiety disorder but at the same time it feels weird to say that? Like what I mean is literally multiple people around me will be like “yeahhhhh there might be something up” and I’ve had physical reactions to stress in such a way, but it feels weird to say I have a thing without being like… actually diagnosed with a thing? Feels like I’m making excuses for myself.

In the same vein, I’ve been thinking about “Huh. Why am I having such a visceral response to anxiety compared to how I used to be.” And ngl I think it’s because I’m basically doing no physical activity? I’ve been a pretty physical person all my life and in the last few months it has dropped to like… zero movement. After getting covid, I allowed myself to not be physical mainly because holy shit it wipes you the fuck out. And then… I kind of just stopped moving. And it’s so hard to get moving again. Especially because I’m so tired all the time, but I know that physical activity helps with that drained energy! And I know it would help with my brain! And with so much! And I just… haven’t.

Every time I talk to my mom all she asks is if I have any job interviews. Which like… I get why she’s asking, but god it really sucks to have to deal with that on every fucking call with her. It feels like a check in that I’m failing at.

I know I need to be applying for more jobs but I also need to start working out and I need to be drawing more and oh maybe I should look into practicing trumpet again but I would have to go to a place to practice because I can’t do that in my apartment and I need to donate some clothes but first I have to wash them but also I should work on putting myself out there because I’m not going to get a date sitting in my house and I don’t need a person in my life but it might be nice because fuck man life is so goddamn hard on your own but also-

That’s where my brain is at most of the time and instead of doing anything I mute my thoughts with assorted media. So yeah that’s the vibe.

I’m trying to drink less because 1. It’s not good for me and 2. Pretty sure it’s making my anxious-ness worse but holy hell rewatching Ted Lasso really made me want rose or a pint of cider

This three day weekend has not been enough days, but at least I cleaned my apartment today

Bijou is doing alright. It’s strange because she has noticeably less energy, but like she’s okay. I’m still feeling sad feelings, but I’ve gotten to a more accepting vibe. Also it’s been weird how so many older people I know have been like “you should get another cat immediately” 1. She’s not even dead yet and 2. I’ve kind of gotten used to the idea of not having a cat after she’s gone. That might change, but right now it’s like 1. The emotional strain this has taken on me I can’t deal with immediately again 2. I’ve already been hemorrhaging money this year, a new cat would be a financial decision that i don’t think is smart and 3. Any living creature is a lot of time commitment, and I think it might be good for me to not constantly be worried about an animal at home and if they’re doing okay. Like I said: Bijou is still here, but I’ve obviously been having to think about this stuff a lot.

Tumblr this shit is so annoying please stop doing this:

I know how tags work on this fucking website

Anyways, those are just my rambly thoughts.

#ramblings #didn’t mean for this to be so negative but I guess I’m just kind of negative #I just needed to get the thoughts out of my brain to somewhere

[wr0ngalice]

8:18pm 8.18.22

wishing more than anything that tumblr comes back one day. Online spaces have always been so weird. Growing up I always wanted my tumblr and twitter to remain a secret while simultaneously wanting everyone I knew to think I was the coolest and hippest. Sometimes I just wanted to scream into the void I think, and sometimes I wanted someone who knew me to treat me like they really cared about me, but I think when you posted as much as I did it could be difficult to decipher attention seeking from just generally talking about your day. Even as I'm typing this there's a voice in the back of my head going "what are you saying none of this makes sense this is pointless." I've definitely lost myself. I've definitely let myself get to a place of complacency, and it's W I L D because it's complacency with being honestly just awful. I read back to my old posts from literal YEARS ago and see the same fears and insecurities that I harbor today. I guess now there's just this intense urgency that the clock is ticking; this intense realization that nothing is changing, that everything is steadily declining, that I am not growing or getting better. That all the things that I hate about myself that I told myself I had "learned to love" or accept are very much still here, still bad, and are 100% getting worse. Except I am not getting any time back, time is not stopping, and time is not slowing down.

I think I truly believed that you just grow up and things work out. That the doors open and everything falls into place if you JuSt BeLiEvE. I really believed that. But now I'm 28 and el oh fucking el no bitch it really doesn't..... I was so sure in my head that the boy will just appear, that the job will pay so much, that my body would magically get thin, that I would find all these amazing great friends. My life would be perfect if I just waited long enough. Nothingggggggggggggggggggg could be further from the truth!!!

No one appears and says "this is the answer"...."this is how everything works"...."this is how you make it". I'm am so ashamed of myself. I am ashamed. I am not living, I am just getting by. How did I get here? If I know all the things that I want and desire in my life, why didn't I go after them? As I typed that, I realized that I don't know much about myself or what I actually want anymore.

I want to not be single. I want to not be overweight. I want to be healthier. I want to have a nicer apartment. I want to have a real friend group. I want to have a loving partner. I want to listen to more music. I want to drink four bottles of water a day. I want to work out regularly and enjoy it. I want to get married. I want to have children.

These are things I have always desired. I have no idea how to achieve any of them. My brain does not function in a way of "here are your goals, what will you do today to achieve them?" My brain functions like "brush your teeth and do one task at a time until it's 1am and you crawl into bed to nervously think about everything wrong in your life one detail at a time in a loop". I don't feel in control of my brain, my life, or my emotions. I want to be in control. I want to stop thinking "I'll start tomorrow".

#personal